Sunshine and Shadow
by MidKnight Rider
Summary: For the fans of Daniel who think he really deserved to finally have one true love - romance, hurt/comfort,humor, team, crazy wild passionately in love, 99% canon retelling of season 3 thru 10 plus some original adventures.
1. Chapter 1

**Sunshine and Shadow**

**First of all, let me say I love Stargate SG1 and have nothing but admiration and respect for the writers who brought it to us with such imagination and consistency week after week. God bless them for their fevered imaginations, even if they weren't quite as fevered as mine.**

**BUT! If ever a character cried out for a true serious romantic storyline, it was Daniel. What can I say, I had to fix this. Considering that Daniel has my dream job and I have a hopeless crush on him, this was pretty easy for me. **

**This one is for everyone with a hopeless crush on Daniel Jackson. Hope it fulfills your fantasies.**

**Everything recognizable about Stargate SG1 doesn't belong to me. I'm just borrowing and having fun. Jillian is mine. Jillian practically IS me, except that she got to actually be an archaeologist and my doctorate is in child development. The Chiu (CHEW-y) family is also mine.**

**Jillian works in SG canon if kept off screen, or as an AU, whatever makes you happy. This is technically a work in progress as I add to their growing relationship, but each section added will be complete. Rating may change depending on what is in the new sections.**

Daniel studied the woman sitting across the table from him, half listening to the possible correlation between the artifacts brought back from P3X-2016 and the pre-Islamic gods of ancient Arabia and Northern Africa. Jillian North, PhD, was an expert in that particular mythology, fluent in Arabic, and more than qualified to lecture him on the subject.

She was tracing the etchings on the fragment s of an ancient tablet, reverently drawing out its secrets. He had noticed her hands before. They were elegant and graceful. For some reason the few times those hands had touched him, he had felt a hot rush of awareness. Something in him recognized her. It had shaken him at first and now…. Well now he just didn't know what to do about it.

There was something about the way Jillian smiled at him, something that was easy; like they had been friends forever and she was glad to see him. More often than not, he found himself returning the sentiment. He had been eager to show her the broken tablet, to watch the recognizable excitement and curiosity light in her eyes

"The style is Sabaean, similar to seventh century BCE Arabia. These symbols," she paused to move her finger across a series of etchings in the tablet," could be the name of a god. The first symbol in the series is shaped like the head of a bull, with horns. That was often used to represent the moon god, Almaqah. But this" and here she indicated a section further down the text, "seems to be about Iblis, or Shaytan, in the Koran."

"Satan in the Bible," Daniel said."Sokar."

He was unusually grave. He had just, quite literally, escaped from Hell. Jillian looked at him from under her lashes, sidelong.

"Yes, the equivalent. In both Christianity and Islam they represent the angel, or jinn, that rebelled against the Lord," she said, slowly. Then she spoke quickly to lure him from a descent into unpleasant memories. "On Earth Almaqah and Sokar would have been centuries and distance apart. I know of nothing that would indicate they existed at the same time."

"But if they are Goa'uld, they could easily exist together on P3X-2016," Daniel pointed out. His point was valid, but he sounded distracted. "At least one of them doesn't exist now at all."

His tone of voice had teeth in it, and sharp claws unsheathed. Jillian's throat felt dry. Daniel was the gentlest man she knew. From the time she had met him four years ago he had been kindness itself. He shone with his own inner light and it drew her to him like a warm fire on a cold night. She had seen Daniel take hurt without flinching, except for a shadow that would slide swiftly into his eyes. She knew he had endured emotion that would bring other men to their knees. He had been tortured long past the point when he should have begged for mercy.

But she had also heard him laugh – _really _laugh – and seen him smile in ways that lit the sun in her soul.

The events of his life since joining the SGC had changed him, turned him forever into someone made of both sunshine and shadow.

The solid, angry set of his jaw begged her to distract him, change the subject, say or do _anything _to pull him away from the memory. Without conscious thought she laid her hand on his wrist.

Daniel glanced down at her hand laying warm against his skin and was surprised by how small it looked there. He looked back up and was caught by her eyes. Something like a slow burning fire started in his chest and spread warmth through his body and her green eyes lit with the same fire, sparked with the same awareness.

Something in the air between them sizzled like an exchange of static. The conversation died. Her thoughts scattered when she realized he had leaned towards her. His face was barely inches from hers. She couldn't concentrate on anything but his presence and the feel of his wrist beneath her fingers. A small part of her remembered the priceless relic in her shaking hand long enough to place it safely on the table. After that, there was nothing but him.

Jillian gazed at Daniel for a moment of suspended time, encased in silence. Her pulse pounded, hot and bright and so strong she was certain he could hear it. Cool fluorescent light traced his sandy hair and broad shoulders and rested in shadows and planes on the perfect lines of his face. Daniel's energy, strong and unapologetically male, was hard to ignore. It defeated her, simply because he seemed so unaware of it and held it in check so effortlessly. His eyes were serene, the pupils expanded to leave a vivid blue circle around a pool of black. Those same eyes held hers briefly; then settled on her lips.

He was beyond any doubt the loveliest man she had ever known, in all his sunshine and shadow; and unless she did something to prevent it, he was going to kiss her. A shock of excitement and anticipation went through her at the realization. She had always wanted it and never known with quite how much intensity until this moment.

Tentatively, Daniel reached out until his fingertips stroked over her cheek, brushed an errant lock of chestnut hair behind her ear. A slow, smoldering shiver followed his touch.

His eyes burned, like the blue center of a flame. He slipped his fingers through her hair, cupping her head and tipping it back, drawing her towards him. Jillian caught the flicker of hesitation that ran across his features. She knew he was fighting it a bit, perhaps struggling against being single again, and able to kiss whomever he liked.

Jillian wanted to help him. She had one more breath to move back, to say something witty, or brilliant or even sarcastic. She had one more breath to break the moment. Instead she leaned forward and hopelessly craved this one man's caress.

She closed her eyes and surrendered to him blindly. He kissed the corner of her mouth first. It was a gentle, soft and erotic inquiry. She turned her head to meet him with her mouth open, willing. He teased her for a second longer and then his lips were fully on hers, supple and eager. Tongues touched hesitantly, with a gentle vulnerability that was heartbreaking. His fingers on the back of her head tightened. His thumb traced her cheekbone.

Jillian trembled as compassion rushed over her. The need for air and the inability to remain in the presence of emotion so compelling broke them apart. Breathing hard, she rested her forehead against his. Stunned and breathless, Daniel stroked her hair and kept his eyes closed.

"_God, Daniel_, god," she whispered, as if she was dragging the words from the other side of the galaxy.

"Yeah," he murmured, "_Wow_."

Daniel leaned back, letting his hand fall away, and immediately felt bereft. He looked at Jillian and found her looking steadily back. The fringe of hair on her forehead was slightly tousled and her eyes were wide. The color of them startled him. Why had he never really noticed how emerald green they were; or that her eyelashes were so long he could see their shadow on her high cheekbones?

Jillian had made him feel things he hadn't known were still possible, things he thought had died with his marriage.

Not merely physical desire – _that _was always pretty easy to conjure up. That one kiss had shaken him. What would it be like if they went forward, when they were both long past wanting gentleness and delicacy? Even now his body was ready to abandon conscience for whatever else she might allow.

But it was more than that.

Little ripples shivered down his spine suddenly as the reality of it hit him. Jillian _mattered _to him. He cared about her, the way he knew Jack cared about Sam; except that Daniel was free to act on the knowledge. Jillian filled him a desperate longing in his heart to share his life, his emotions, his dreams and his passionate pursuit of knowledge with someone. Jillian not only listened intently when Daniel's mouth and brain ran off on archaeological tangents, she participated in them, just as likely to be caught up in the excitement of discovery as he. She was the only person in his life who could truly speak to him in the language of archaeology – which was composed mostly of acronyms and was incomprehensible to the average English speaker.

Jillian made him want to be close to someone and never part – _that _needhe had forced himself to forget.

Daniel's stomach clenched. _That_ need came with a whole host of terrors that iced his blood and made him remember helplessness and loss.

"_God,_ Jillian." He wanted to stand and walk across the room, put some distance between them. But in the dizzying boneless moments after that kiss, he wasn't certain he could get that far. "What now?"

She smiled and he waded willingly into the cool green sea of it. His pulse was pounding in odd, maddening rhythms, like it did at the sound of gun fire, right before he started running for his life.

"Well," she said, "I don't think we need to go house hunting or pick out china patterns."

In spite of his confused emotions, he laughed. He rocked back in his chair, using distance to bring her into clearer focus through his glasses. She laughed too, a soft sound of relief and pure joy. Her hair shifted and danced behind her like an auburn waterfall.

"I'm not sure we can claim to be just colleagues anymore," he observed.

"I'm not sure we have to claim to be anything," she said, "especially when we aren't sure ourselves. It would take a better person than me to deny what is happening between us. But if you're wondering what we should do next, maybe we should just start small."

Remembering the way his soul had been rocked by the simple touch of her lips on his, Daniel said,

"I think it's too late for that. What we just did was…already…uh, big."

Jillian laughed, if only to cover how much she really wanted to kiss him again. He leaned forward again and placed his hand on the desk palm up. Gently she placed her hand on top of his. His pulse beat warm and steady in the fingertips he curled around her hand.

Jillian kept her eyes down, fascinated by the fact that they were holding hands; or at least he was holding hers.

She had known, instinctively, for years, that if she wanted Daniel she had to wait for him to come to her first.

"Well then the second thing we do should be small," she said, and god, how she kept the hope and passion out of her voice she never would know. "Look, I'm starving and I never like the cafeteria food."

Daniel glanced at the empty dish next to her. A little bit ago it had contained fresh strawberries slathered in Cool Whip. She had brought it with her and absent mindedly finished it off while studying the tablet. The faintest taste of it had clung to her mouth when he kissed her.

Resolutely he kept his mind on what she was saying and didn't let it dwell on the feel of her lips on his, her gentle tongue tracing his. He didn't look at her, afraid of how she might be looking back at him.

It scared him too much to consider, how much he could picture her in his life, traveling through the Gate to digs, translating ancient writing in his office until late into the night, waiting for her to return from off world, having her waiting for him.

His heart pounded again.

"Why don't we go get some lunch?" Her invitation was gentle. "We can go somewhere together that isn't here or through the Stargate?"

Daniel was quiet for a moment. He wanted nothing so much at the moment but to stand, pull her to feet, catch her against his chest and kiss her again. He was forced to breathe slowly. His stomach unclenched at least and that was mercy.

He considered going somewhere with Jillian – away from here, away from the constant presence of the Goa'uld and their persistence in taking away the ones who _mattered._

"All right. You pick a place and I'll treat?"

For a moment she couldn't answer. She had made the mistake of looking up into Caribbean blue eyes without bracing herself first. He always made her think of blue waves and golden sands; the warm sun on her skin.

"Um, well," she paused once more to organize her thoughts. "There is a little place in town owned by this delightful Mandarin family. They let me practice with them. If I bring someone else who speaks Mandarin, they'll want to adopt me. It doesn't look like much on the outside but the food is excellent."

"I don't get much of a chance to practice Mandarin out loud," he said. His smile was genuine, even if she thought there was still something hesitant in his eyes. "So it sounds like a plan."

The place _was _little. At one time it must have been a traditional 1950s style diner. The booths, red vinyl seats and a black and white checked floor scuffed and veined by time still remained. Now there was an Asian-themed aquarium with several small koi. A small Buddhist shrine decorated the window and stencils representing the seven emotions lined the walls where a chair rail had once been. Daniel could see the rectangular repairs on the walls above the tables where the juke boxes must have once been.

A tiny but plump Asian woman with silver hair greeted Jillian like a prodigal child, chattering at her in Mandarin almost too fast for Daniel to follow. She was wearing an oversized Hawaiian print shirt that seemed entirely out of place in Colorado Springs, and leaned on a bamboo cane. She looked to be about sixty but Daniel had never been a good judge of age. Jillian greeted her as 'Mama Chiu' and was rewarded with an expression of maternal concern and more rapid mandarin.

Jillian introduced him as Dr. Jackson.

"Ah, handsome doctor," Mama Chiu said. She looked up into Daniel's eyes and seemed to squint for a moment. Then she said, "Ah, yes. I know you."

Daniel was taken off guard. "You-you know me?"

"I wasn't sure, but now I see you are a person of good heart. But hard on yourself and life has been a little hard on you too."

Daniel was staring at her, trying not to let his jaw drop.

Mama Chui turned to Jillian then and changed to Mandarin. "This one needs a walk in the mountains, clean air, blue skies. Stop somewhere and put your bare feet in the grass or in a clear stream.' She put her hand on Jillian's wrist and patted it, "Keep this one. He will be good to you."

Color rose in Jillian's cheeks but her eyes were dancing. "Um, Dr. Jackson speaks Mandarin, Mama, and he's not that kind of doctor. He's an archaeologist like me."

"Oh archaeology!" Mama Chiu exclaimed, and then switched again to Chinese. The fact that Daniel could understand her didn't seem to bother her in the least. "What are two archaeologists digging up in Colorado? Dinosaurs?"

"Umm, that would be paleontology," Daniel said. Jillian quirked an eyebrow at him and he finished hastily, "But Hollywood gets that wrong all the time too, so it's okay."

It didn't escape Daniel's notice that they were ushered to the booth directly under the Chinese symbols for 'love' and 'desire.' Apparently Jillian noticed too, since she blushed again when her eyes met Daniel's. His expression danced with amusement. Daniel seemed more casually relaxed now for some reason. He turned his attention to Mama Chiu.

"What can I make for you, Dr. Jackson?" Mama Chui's English was better than his Mandarin, but she no doubt used it more often.

"Please call me Daniel," he said, accepting the menu she thrust at him. He spoke slowly in Mama Chiu's language. "Jillian said you might be willing to help me with my Mandarin, if it isn't an imposition."

"Impose!" She waved a hand impatiently, "Does the food impose on the cook? Does the stone impose on the diamond cutter?"

Her words coaxed a wide, delighted smile from Daniel.

"She also said the food here is excellent," he continued in Chinese.

It was obvious immediately that Mama Chiu didn't mind correcting Daniel's Chinese, since she made him say hǎojíle – literally good extreme – three more times until she was happy with it. He tried not to be amused when Mama also fussed over Jillian's attempt to say, "Xia ren chao fen" until she got it right.

In English, Mama said, "Orders the same thing every time she comes and still can't say it right! No idea how she knows what is good and what is not. And for you, Daniel? Also shrimp and rice?"

He ordered mu shoo pork. Mama Chiu beamed over his pronunciation and then limped off towards the kitchen shouting rapidly.

She came back a few minutes later with a pot of tea and two small cups. She also brought a bowl of fruit, which she encouraged Daniel to eat.

"It is blessed," she told him, "It will help you heal."

"I'm fine, though," Daniel protested.

"You will be," Mama Chiu said, "Your basic self is stronger than you realize."

She patted Daniel on the shoulder in a motherly fashion and went back to the kitchen, leaning on her cane.

Daniel folded his arms on the table and leaned forward.

"Okay, you were right," he said, "She's adorable; and a little terrifying. I keep thinking she's going to hit me with a menu if I say something wrong."

"She does remind me a bit of Yoda at times, including the odd bit of philosophy now and then," Jillian admitted. She smiled with genuine affection but then sobered a bit, "Little places like this and families like the Zhou's remind me why we do what we do."

"Dig up the past?" he asked. He opened a set of chopsticks and speared a pieced of papaya with them.

She started to say 'fight the goa'uld' but decided not to bring them into this peaceful place.

"Put ourselves in harm's way," she said, cautiously.

Jillian saw the glimmer of pain in his eyes, as something soul deep surfaced briefly and then was ordered back to the depths from which it threatened. His mouth twitched in a bittersweet smile.

"Archaeology seemed like such a good idea at the time, huh?" he said.

She knew what he meant. When she had chosen her profession – or maybe it had chosen her – she had fully expected to spend her life happily lost in the past. Instead she worked almost daily to unlock secrets that would help them defeat an enemy only an elite group of Earthlings even knew existed. SG-8 didn't seem to get into as much trouble as SG-1. They weren't as 'front line.' But she'd picked up her share of scars and injuries in the last three years.

But Jillian's scars were all on her body. The worst ones Daniel had suffered were on his heart and soul. Jillian had been in love with Daniel nearly from the moment she had met him three and half years ago. Jillian had come to know that behind Daniel's usual calm and imperturbability was the passionate nature of a man who didn't think twice about defying Jack, Star Gate Command or the entire US government to do or say what he felt was right. She had watched him freely argue with people in authority and insert himself into situations from which many would run.

She had never thought there would come a time when she could do anything about her feelings.

"My father wasn't happy about my career choice," Jillian admitted, "Then he became resigned to it and tried to steer me in the direction of Egyptology."

"Nothing wrong with Egyptology," Daniel quipped."You did concentrate on Egyptian writing for your dissertation in LLC."

"And Egypt is a slightly safer part of the world at the moment."

"But you decided to focus on Babylon and the Persia, right in the heart of Iraq, for your archaeological studies," Daniel surmised.

"Yes," Jillian said, then she leaned forward as if sharing a deep dark conspiracy. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, "But for most of my life I wanted to be the person who found the Titanic when I grew up."

He smiled in sympathy. "And then someone beat you to it."

"When I was seventeen," she gave him a rueful smile, "I was crushed and elated at the same time, though my father was relieved. He said I could finally give up my 'morbid fascination with that boat and get on with my life'."

"Did you? Give it up?"

"Not really," Jillian paused," though I changed my educational goals from underwater archaeology to ancient religions and LLC."

"You minored in underwater archaeology, though," Daniel pointed out.

Considering the simplicity of their conversation, Daniel's eyes were unusually intense – opalescent and framed by honey colored lashes. She had found no refuge in glancing away from those eyes. Light danced on hard forearms and glinted off the fine hairs that started at his wrist and disappeared under the sleeve of his pale blue sweater. The strong column of his throat rose from his collar and she could see his pulse beating. Bronze skin, broad shoulders, male muscle and bone, strong hands; and yet somehow all wrapped up in a tender vulnerability that pulled at her heart.

Jillian forced herself to eat some fruit, breathe normally, swallow and then continue.

"It's still my hobby when I'm not translating something from some planet I didn't know existed four years ago."

Always looking for new information and something to learn, Daniel began asking her questions about the loss of the Titanic. He listened intently, but part of him was wrestling with the conundrum of his life. Last week he had been in Hell, certain he would never see home again. It had made him re-evaluate what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, what he was really willing to live without if he got a second chance. He had decided to renew the passionate pursuit of his first love – language and the past.

He had also decided to more carefully examine his reaction to the scientist sitting across from him, the one with the brilliant mind and equally brilliant green eyes. At the moment, he was longing to touch her again. Since he had kissed her, he had wanted nothing more than to continue.

He wondered what it would feel like to lay his head on her shoulder and feel the promise of her arms around him; to feel the promise of her acceptance and understanding.

He wondered if he could offer her his soul as well as his body. There was something about Jillian and his attraction to her that made him resist the idea of casual sex, or a relationship that was only 'friends with benefits.' Those had never been things he cared about anyway; and certainly not now.

Not when she looked at him that way; not when he could still remember the passion and caring and joy in her eyes when their first kiss finally broke.

_God, Daniel_, she had said. He wanted to make her say that again, in the same breathless, off-balance way.

He realized suddenly that she had stopped talking. He had been too busy watching the sparkle in her eyes and the animated movement of her hands that betrayed her passion for the subject.

He was spared having to say anything when their food arrived. He discovered he was ravenous, though he somehow also managed to eat like a civilized being and chat with Mama Chiu at the same time.

Jillian watched him from under her eyelashes, trying not to be obvious. There was laughter in his eyes and in his voice – laughter not often seen by anyone at the SGC. Daniel could fill a room just with the intensity of his presence. It was even more obvious of late; now that he lived among colleagues that respected him. Now that he had seen everything he had believed for so long confirmed beyond doubt. Self confidence sat on him with serenity and grace.

She watched Daniel making use of conversational mandarin, talking about Mama Chiu's children and grandchildren and her birthplace in China and why she had come to America with her husband so many years before. Jillian watched how he put people at ease with his fervent curiosity about other people and other cultures.

Jillian wondered why in this little restaurant at the end of a strip mall, where the 1950s lingered and Asian culture had made a stand, in this most casual of settings – Daniel Jackson made her feel as if she had been struck by lightning.

They stayed at Mama Chiu's until the autumn evening began to descend outside. They each got a kiss on both cheeks from the plump Chinese woman and were made to promise not to stay away long. They returned to Daniel's jeep. However, both paused before actually getting in.

"There's a park across the street," Daniel noted.

"I know. I've jogged the path around the lake," Jillian said, "Would you like to take a walk?"

"Well," he said, slowly and with a smile to match, "Mama Chiu did say I needed one."

Jillian grinned at him.

"A walk in the mountains, as I recall. But maybe this will do. It looks like a beautiful sunset."

Daniel got a dark blue jacket out of the jeep. Jillian pulled on a black hooded sweat shirt that said 'Real men defeat dark wizards' across the front. Daniel read it and smiled.

His eyes locked with hers in a flash of understanding and Jillian felt the impact right down to her toes. His smile cast a spell; a magical, sensual spell that promised interest and intimacy. She was afraid for a moment that she might melt into an undignified puddle on the sidewalk – a puddle wearing a funny black sweat shirt, jeans and sneakers.

She managed to shrug in a self effacing way.

"I grew up on sci-fi," she said by way of explanation.

They crossed the street in silence and stayed that way until arriving at the path around the lake.

He glanced sidelong at her and caught her in a long shaft of sunlight. His sense of recognition stirred again. There was something about the way her cheekbones slipped like the curve of a pear into the heavy silk of brunette hair, her wide set eyes beneath the dark slash of eyebrow. He remembered the wildfire in those eyes when they had kissed and how her skin had felt under his thumb. Her jaw had fit easily in his palm, like it belonged there. Her mouth had been all too willing against his.

"What else did you grow up on?" Daniel asked, quickly, to derail his thoughts.

"Museums," she answered too quickly and he wondered where her thoughts had been. She took a breath and let it out slowly, "My father is a US ambassador. It seemed that no matter where we lived my mother found a job at a museum and she would take me to work with her. When I was seven she worked as an assistant curator at the Acropolis Museum in Greece. Can you imagine? Having the Acropolis as your playground?

"I can imagine it pretty easily," he admitted, "I spent a lot of time in museums myself when I was a child."

Jillian glanced at him swiftly. She knew his parents had both died when he was quite young. There was nothing in his eyes to betray how he felt about that at this moment. She wondered if it was possible for him to feel pain and the absence of pain all at the same time, and if so, which hurt worse.

"Did you go to school?" he asked.

"Not at first. My mother homeschooled me. Then I went to a boarding school in England for a while"

"Why?"

"My mother died when I was ten. My father was sent to Beijing almost immediately after the funeral, or maybe he asked to go, I never was sure. It's where I learned to speak Mandarin. I had a private tutor there. Then my father was abruptly reassigned to Paris and he sent me to school in England."

There was a pause in which Daniel dealt with a surge of old hurt and hurt newly made.

"He sent you away?" Daniel's voice was flat when he finally spoke.

"Don't judge him too harshly, Daniel. He was devoted to my mother and," she paused and there was a moment of long, pain filled stillness, "I look much too much like her."

Daniel felt a fist close around his heart. It was impossible for him to harshly judge a man who had lost a beloved wife. He thought of Sha're and tried to imagine being faced every day with a growing adolescent girl; one with the same midnight eyes and riot of ink black hair, one whose shy smile would remind him every day of what he had lost.

It might have been torture. It might even have been comfort in a way. But he still didn't think he could send his own child away, not when he had memories of being given to strangers.

He glanced at Jillian again. Her eyes were fixed on the pavement and her spine was stiff. He noticed that she had jammed her fists into the pocket of her hoodie and the tender line of her jaw now seemed forged from steel.

Daniel couldn't see her eyes but if he could he knew he would recognize the look. He knew the hurt of being sent away as a child, the pain that sank inside like a stone in the ocean and stayed lodged in your soul forever. He remembered feeling lost and small and insignificant and unwanted.

Words failed him. Language had been evolving for thousands of years. He had a PhD in language and spoke dozens of them; and yet there were no words that two abandoned children could offer each other.

Daniel was filled with regret at having inadvertently made her remember; and with helplessness at his inability to change her past. He stopped walking and put his hand on her arm to stop her too. He wrapped strong fingers around her wrist and gently pulled her off the path to stand on the edge of the lake.

Jillian looked up in genuine astonishment. Daniel's hand lifted hesitantly and then slid into the cool fall of her hair, coming to rest on the back of her head. He pulled forward questioningly, letting the final decision be hers.

Jillian exhaled as if she had just remembered how to breathe. She stepped forward into his arms and rested her forehead against his collar bone. Her arms slipped around his waist. Her fingers laced behind his back, as if she was afraid to touch him too much.

He wanted to tell her about his grandfather, but he couldn't. He stuck with facts that were known by everyone.

"You know I was raised by foster parents?"

She nodded, her forehead brushing against his sweater.

Sunset lay soft around them, casting the world in crimson and gold. He closed his eyes against the glare of the amber light and became even more aware of her tall, lithe body. She held herself bare inches from him, which was somehow more erotic than if she had been pressed fully against him.

Bravery, Daniel had discovered, had little to do with facing down the Goa'uld, or trying to dial home while your teammates covered your retreat with ear-shattering gunfire. Bravery was giving all the pieces of your broken heart to someone with the power to crush them in the palm of her hand.

He put his hand under her chin and tilted her face. She gazed up into his eyes, a fine tremble at the corner of her mouth. Gently he leaned down and kissed her. Jillian put her hand on the back of his neck and kissed back.

Their lips parted and their tongues touched with fleeting little strokes, as if shared pain had left them with nothing but tenderness. She clung to him now – all soft curves and warmth and sweet scent. The kiss caressed them both, eased hurts long suffered until they melted back into the shadows.

Gently, very gently, Jillian broke the kiss. Daniel took a deep breath and the power of the sunlit blue sky shone in his eyes. He kissed her forehead and held her lightly, the fingertips of one hand stroking a line between her shoulder blades. Whatever remained uncertain and awkward between them vanished.

"Would you like to keep walking with me?" she asked, quietly.

Daniel nodded.

"Yes I would," he said.

And he knew in his heart, he meant every word.

_To Be Continued_


	2. Chapter 2

**This is immediately after **_**Pretense**_**. I've never been able to find anything to give a time frame between any of the shows, so I pretty much made one up on my own. I am also utterly guessing about the Jeep, though I worked out a timeline for it that makes it possible for it to once have been Daniel's grandfathers.**

They had returned Skaara home first, of course. There had been a jubilant celebration, which Daniel endured more than enjoyed. He could move through the perplexity of his life much more easily on Earth. Abydos was only a reminder of what he had lost. Without Sha're he was once again an Outsider, or maybe he had always been. He only knew that he was like the shifting sand dunes now – something that had once existed but had never been part of the permanent landscape.

He had finally accepted that he was never going to get over Sha're. He was never going to 'get over it.' 'It' was someone he loved. There would always be a hole in his heart in the shape of her and the memories they had shared.

But the pain had stopped finally.

He was anxious to go back through the Gate. Everyone who mattered to him already knew Skaara was safe; well, _almost _everyone. He wanted to tell Jillian himself. He couldn't wait to tell Jillian. Jillian had some strange influence over him he didn't quite understand, something that made him hope.

Jillian made him believe that being with someone was worth the risk.

And even if he didn't believe it, the attraction was too powerful at this point. It was like the ocean fighting the pull of the moon. Besides, he didn't _want _to fight it. His being had been splintered for too long into pieces of memory and bits of feelings. It felt just plain too damned _good_ to fight – whatever 'it' was in this case that made him listen for her footsteps in the hall and his body's odd way of becoming heated and flushed whenever she was near him.

He had been too long without feeling and now that it was his – the ability to _feel_ again, really and truly – he cherished it all the more.

He jogged down the ramp in the Gate room perhaps a little faster than was necessary.

Something made him glance up at the window. Jillian was there. He had looked just in time to see her turn to leave the room. If he timed it right he could meet her at the bottom of the stairs.

His timing was perfect. He caught her on the bottom step, just in time to stop her by putting his hands on her slender hips. Her hands found his shoulders, broad and strong beneath the moss green jacket. The step placed her slightly above his eye level. Jillian noticed a fine film of sand clinging to his glasses and wondered if he was even aware of it.

"What happened to Skaara?" she asked.

"They didn't tell you?" His eyes were wide, startled and hopeful. His shoulders rose and fell under her hands even though he shouldn't have been out of breath from the short distance between the Gate and the stairs.

"NO!" she sounded frustrated beyond endurance.

Daniel felt a surge of affection that almost overwhelmed him. Somehow everyone had known he would want to tell her.

"He's free and home on Abydos."

Jillian sighed in relief and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt alight suddenly and almost weak with longing at the same time. Daniel was ardent and immediate against her.

"Oh, Daniel, I'm so glad," she whispered.

She inhaled deeply, eyes closed. The scents of foreign places clung to him. There was something floral and clean that had to be Tollana and something else; something that was like the desert at night, warm earth and breezes full of date palm. The need to slide her fingers into his hair, press her face against his neck and be lost in those scents poured over her like honey, slow and sweet.

Which of course she couldn't do in her current setting.

Daniel broke the embrace, setting her back to look into her eyes.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" he asked. His expressive face was alive with both query and plea. "I want to tell you everything, every detail."

Her smile was indulgent.

"You can always take me out to dinner," she said, "But I'm not sure Skaara's Triad is something we should be discussing in a public place."

He considered that. He wanted to describe every detail of a trial, which had taken place on another planet, to free his brother-in-law (who was from a different planet all together) from being unwillingly possessed by a parasitic snake-like alien.

Yeah, Jillian was probably right. If someone overheard them they'd be locked up in an asylum somewhere.

"How about pizza at my place then?"

"Can we make it my place" she asked. "I haven't checked my mail in ages."

"That depends."

"On what?"

"If you got a coffee maker yet."

Jillian laughed. Daniel had been utterly horrified to discover she didn't like coffee and had no way to make him any when they were at her condo. She leaned forward as if confessing something wicked.

"Actually I did, just for you, _and _cream and sugar _and _that coffee you like that you insist is Dutch but comes from Indonesia."

"You place it is," his voice was low and sultry and Jillian wondered if he did it on purpose.

An incoming wormhole caused a sudden flurry of activity in the hallway and made him take a step back from her. She took a breath and said,

"I'll order a pizza for us to pick up in ….an hour?"

"Okay, I'll grab a shower and meet you in the lab."

He wanted to kiss her but they were standing in a rather busy spot. He made due with another quick hug, relishing her height and the way they fit together. A woman he didn't have to bend over to kiss was a gift.

As he strode off down the hall towards the elevators she called,

"What do you want on the pizza?"

He turned and walked backwards for a few steps.

"Anything but the little fish," he said, and loved that it made her laugh. "Oh, did you ever make anything out of the writing on the scroll we found on Liaro?"

Something flickered in her eyes. Mischief tugged at the corner of her mouth.

"I'll tell you on the way to get the pizza," she said.

His eyes narrowed suspiciously, but then he almost backed into someone and she turned and disappeared back up the spiral stairs.

It would have to wait.

(O)

Jillian watched Daniel's smooth, coordinated movements as he maneuvered the Jeep over the winding roads of surrounding Colorado Springs. He made it look effortless, so that she felt safe on even on the sleet-slick streets of winter.

"Is this an original or a reproduction?" she asked, suddenly, referring to the Jeep.

"An original. It was my grandfather's," he answered, "I've only recently been able to afford to restore it."

He had to keep his eyes on the road, which made it possible for her to study him in the foggy sunset. She had so far enjoyed the view inside the jeep far more than the one outside.

"You said you would tell me about the Liaroan scroll," he said, as they left the stretch of mountain road and settled onto more civilized asphalt.

"I did," she agreed, settling more comfortably into the leather seat. "I assume you're familiar with the Turin papyrus from ancient Egypt?"

"The one they call the first men's magazine?"

"Yes."

"I've heard of it. I wouldn't claim to be 'familiar' with it."

"The Liaroan scroll is like that," she said, bluntly.

There was a pause and then.

"It's pornographic?"

"Well, it's erotic. I'm not sure it's pornography. It's graphic, though I don't find it offensive. I don't know if it's a diary, or a work of fiction, or a love letter. It could be anything. But it doesn't leave much to the imagination."

Jillian had not stopped watching his profile carefully. Mirth danced at the corners of his tightly compressed mouth. Then he made the mistake of glancing at her. The second their eyes met they both burst out laughing.

It was glorious, cleansing shared laughter.

When he finally stopped, or at least controlled it to an extent, he said,

"The best part of archaeology, huh? You just never know what you're going to find."

"Paraphrasing Forest Gump?"

"Wasn't he quoting his mother?"

She grinned at him. "If we tell anyone, we'll have men lined up for miles waiting to volunteer to help at the dig."

"I was going to ask you to teach me the language. Now I'm worried you'll suspect my motivation."

"Oh, hardly," she said, in a mock serious voice, "I could never believe your motivations were anything but academic, Dr. Jackson."

He laughed again and light danced in his eyes. The fading sunset cast him in amber and pink, highlighted his broad forehead and the angle of his cheekbones. Jillian's soul caught fire and desire robbed her of breath for a moment.

"Maybe I can read it to you sometime," she suggested.

Daniel glanced at her again and then forced his vision firmly back on the road. Though her words had been seductive, she had blushed almost as pink as the sunset. He had watched as warm, sensuous color rose up over her long, lovely neck, tinted the delicate curve of her jaw and cheeks.

Daniel had a mad desire to pull the car over and let his mouth follow the example of that blush, to kiss the pulse beating hard in her neck while he inhaled the sweet scent of lavender that always seemed to cling to her.

He couldn't remember the last time he had wanted such a thing with quite so much intensity. They had been moving steadily forward in their relationship, more familiar with each other now. He felt relaxed around her, more at ease than he had been in years – when he wasn't scorched with desire and fighting for self control.

Physical intimacy was the logical next step, except that desire was mixed with equal parts terror at this point.

With great effort Daniel kept his hands on the wheel and the stick shift. Lately he was more aroused than terrified, as the emotional connection between them became more and more intense. He hoped the same was true for her. Jillian, he had discovered, was not only gorgeous but innately seductive. The hell of it was that she seemed blissfully unaware of it. It had escaped her attention all together that under those sweatshirts and the jeans she wore like a second skin, she had a body that was full of promise, instinct and mystery.

He managed to flash a tender smile.

"I may hold you to that," he said.

The conversation was mercifully ended at that point when he pulled into the parking lot at the pizza place. On the way to Jillian's condo they managed to speak of things less likely to make them blush; which Daniel thought was too bad really, since Jillian was captivating when she blushed.

The first time he had seen her condo he had been pretty enchanted. There was a comfortable tan couch with a matching chair and ottoman, a small tv, a breakfast bar with two stools, a few tables and lamps with framed pictures and walls full of replicas of ancient artwork. The rest of the place was bookshelves – wall to wall, floor to ceiling, wherever one could be squeezed in. It was like being in a library. Daniel hadn't even tried to contain his delight.

If the weather had been better they might have eaten on her balcony, overlooking a courtyard with aspen trees and sculpted gardens. But winter was teasing at the edges of Colorado Springs. Jillian started coffee for Daniel and poured a diet cola for herself. They ate at the breakfast bar.

Daniel ate as if he hadn't had food in a week, though he seemed distracted and Jillian doubted he had a clue what was on the pizza. She could have ordered one entirely with the little fish and he may have eaten it unaware.

He launched into the story of the Triad with enthusiasm and was clearly concentrating only on that. Jillian didn't interrupt. For one thing he was talking so fast she wasn't sure he'd even hear her, and he didn't seem to be leaving anything out.

Daniel was fairly thrumming with joy, as much as he would ever let on. He was suddenly brilliantly, vibrantly alive. Something beyond the return of Skaara had touched him deeply, something that was more than the defeat of the Goa'uld who had enslaved his brother-in-law.

Jillian wondered if it had something to do with the fact that it had been words that had set Skaara free, and not bombs or zats or P90s. He had freed Skaara without needing to be armed to the teeth or firing a shot. She sat as close to him as she could without actually touching, listening to the wonderful sound of his voice, a willing conduit for his story and the emotions that came with it.

When he finished she said, "You couldn't have had any doubt as to the outcome once the Nox were involved."

"I did," Daniel admitted, "Jack didn't, but I did."

"Maybe you just had more at stake," Jillian suggested, very quietly.

Daniel nodded. The specter of something painful and distant haunted him for just a moment and then was banished.

He turned to face her, his heels hooked on the rungs of the barstool. He leaned forward and took her hands in his. The strong pulse of his heartbeat emanated from his fingertips. Echoing ripples spiraled into her bloodstream. She didn't dare look directly into his eyes, lest he see how desperately, heart-stoppingly she wanted him.

"How long have we been together?" he asked.

The question startled her and she shook her head in bewilderment.

"It depends on when you start counting, I guess. A month and half, two months?"

"And I haven't forgotten some date, some moment, some anniversary that was important?" He looked so concerned it only mystified her further.

"I don't think so, unless I have too," Jillian tilted her head in concern, "Daniel, what's wrong?"

"You aren't mad at me for working when I was supposed to do something with you?"

"No! Daniel, for heaven's sake!"

He looked down sheepishly and then back up and into her worried eyes.

"I just don't want to screw this up," he said, "I was involved with someone who was very important to me once. She broke up with me when I worked through our two month anniversary."

Jillian looked stunned and he knew a brief moment of panic. But he misread it. She wasn't stunned that he would forget, but that anyone had wanted that in the first place.

"But that's … _silly_! I hope you were in High School at the time?"

He laughed in a relieved way. "No, I was Dr. Jordan's research assistant at the time. I never had anything that even looked like a relationship in High School. I was too busy trying to get out."

Jillian shook her head.

"Daniel," she began, "I don't know. Maybe I'm supposed to worry about things like that, but I just don't. To be honest I've never had a relationship like this either. When I was in High School it was a wild Friday night if they let me stay after closing in the library and I was in college by the time I was seventeen. I don't know what the conventional things are that couples do. Do you want me to worry about anniversaries of things?"

"NO!" he burst out, "I'm not good at it, not at all."

"I don't think I would be either;" she said, "and if you start remembering things like that, I'll feel guilty for forgetting them myself."

"I can probably remember your birthday," he said, with a very shy, self-mocking smile and a tone in his voice that indicated he doubted his ability to keep even that small promise.

"Do you know when it is?" Jillian's eyes were dancing like leaves on a breezy day.

"Not at the moment, but I can find out."

Jillian saw the merriment sparking in his eyes and laughed. She extracted one hand from his and cupped the back of his neck. Firmly, she drew him forward until their foreheads touched.

"Daniel, I only want one thing from you. I want you to come back safe and in one piece every time you go off world. Maybe it's just our line of work, but every moment I get to spend with you is important, every minute is special. Worrying about how many days or weeks or months we've been together seems like an incredible waste of time to me. There are other things I would much rather do."

They were close enough that she could feel him smile. Her face was cradled in his palm suddenly, fingers threaded into her hair.

"What would you rather do?" His voice was low and husky and a slow tingle burned down her spine at the sound.

"This," she murmured, her mouth brushing against his in an open invitation to a kiss.

His mouth opened helplessly to the invitation. They kissed with restraint at first, clinging to some safe limit they believed could be imposed on passion. Then they kissed blindly, both aching with tenderness. Daniel let go of her hand, slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her off the stool. Jillian fell forward willingly until she was standing between his spread knees. She held her body away from him, though she longed to just fall against his chest and melt into him.

She couldn't stop her hands from running up over the hard muscles of his arms, hidden beneath his sweater, and then down again. Her hands rested on his waist for a moment and then slipped around to trace the strong contour of his back. She was shockingly aware of his hands resting on her hips, his fingers curled into the small of her back.

They broke the kiss at last, laughing and groaning and both aching but unwilling to admit it.

Daniel rested his head on her shoulder for a moment.

"Okay," he gasped, "That was much better than planning anniversaries. If that's what you want to do, I can go along with it."

Jillian stroked the edge of his hair along the back of his neck and wondered if she was ever going to have the power to speak again, much less think of some witty comeback. Daniel took her face between his palms and simply held her there for a moment. Then he kissed her again, in a way that was almost chaste and pure and innocent; sweetly with just the touch of his lips on hers.

Then he let her go.

"We need to go back to the SGC tonight," he said.

Jillian could only nod.

"We're both going off world early," he went on, beginning to clean up the pizza and the cups. "We can't take the chance that the roads will ice up."

Jillian stared at him. He was no more immune to the effects of that kiss than she was. They were both on fire.

He had let her go because neither of them was ready yet. He had more self-control than she did at the moment. But he was right.

"Daniel," she whispered and when he turned to her she put her hand against his cheek and smiled.

He wrapped his fingers around her wrist briefly. Jillian looked into his eyes and realized, somehow over the last few weeks and months, that those eyes had become the blue sky that encompassed her entire world.

_To Be Continued_


	3. Chapter 3

**Please note that the rating has changed. This takes place during the events of A Hundred Days.**

The snow had been falling steadily for hours and the city around Daniel's condo was enveloped in a deep white silence. Jillian had watched the white covering gradually grow higher and higher on the railing of Daniel's balcony and suspected that she wasn't going anywhere now. Whatever the night held, she'd be spending it at Daniel's house.

Darkness had fallen as well. Daniel had started a fire and they had both laptops opened on the coffee table as Jillian attempted to teach Daniel the spoken and written language of Liaro. She had returned from two weeks on Liaro only the day before, but she had learned a great deal about the culture and the language in that time and had been eager to share it.

Then she had found out Jack had been lost on Edora. She had been prepared to wait, give Daniel whatever support he needed. But Daniel had asked her to show him what she had learned. Sensing he needed a distraction, she had suggested dinner and a movie and then working on it at his place.

They had gone out for steaks at O'Malley's and then to the early show of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, which was enjoying a Christmas re-release. By the time they left the theater, snow was falling.

Daniel had seemed fine during dinner and during the ride to his place in Jillian's truck. They had discussed the finer points of the movie as only true scientists could, and laughed remembering where they had first seen Star Wars as children. Jillian had confessed to a crush on Luke Skywalker and laughed again when Daniel admitted that, as a teenager, he'd had a poster of Leia in the metal bikini from Return of the Jedi.

But as night had fallen and the shroud of snow had covered the city, Daniel had become more and more pensive. In ordinary circumstances Jillian knew that Daniel could have picked up a new language in slightly under an hour, once he got the basic alphabet, patterns and syntax. But tonight he was distracted and wasn't concentrating.

At last Jillian closed her laptop and laid her hand on top of his.

"You're worried about Jack," Jillian stated it, as there was no question.

Daniel stared unseeing at the floor for a moment. He _was_ worried about Jack. But he was also wrestling with the idea that one of them had been lost on the other side. He was sharply reminded that Jillian could have gone to Liaro – a desert planet reminiscent of Abydos – and been unable to return. A single violent sandstorm would be all that was needed to bury a Star Gate.

As it was, he, Sam and Teal'c had barely gotten back from Edora.

"It may sound strange, but yes and no," Daniel answered, finally.

She leaned closer to him and slipped her arm through his. When her hand found his, they linked fingers tightly. She pressed against him comfortingly, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, knee to knee. Encouraged by her presence and the compassion in her eyes, he went on.

"We're not worried that he's hurt, or….. or worse. We're worried that he'll give up; that he'll think we aren't coming for him."

It didn't escape Jillian's notice that he had said 'we', and he meant SG1

"Jack would never believe that for a moment, Daniel. He knows none of you would ever give up trying to get to him."

Just as she would never give up trying to find Daniel. It had not escaped her awareness that it could just as easily have been Daniel who hadn't come back, just as easily been Daniel lost on the other side of the stars. Jillian shifted closer, kissed his forearm through his sweater and felt hard steel muscle beneath the soft, black fabric. She inhaled deeply and was instantly lost in the scent that was most uniquely Daniel – a scent made of cedar, sandalwood and clean linen.

There was a haunted look in his eyes that touched her in the tenderest recesses of her heart. Daniel kept so much hidden, so much hurt inside, that she wondered how he endured it. It seemed that the only thing he thought would be worse than keep his emotions in check would be letting them run wild.

Jillian shifted so that she was facing him, one leg curled under her on the couch.

"Hey," she whispered. Her fingertips brushed his jaw and brought him around to look at her, "You're allowed to be worried."

Daniel swallowed hard. He was achingly aware of her. The firelight flickered over the perfection of her face and the wanton mass of her hair that was currently sleeked back into a ponytail. Jillian was like a jewel suddenly found among broken pieces of clay pottery. He would have called her goddess-like back in the days when he thought being compared to the gods was a compliment.

The snow had trapped them here, unless they wanted to test the true four-wheel drive capability of Jillian's truck. Even then he wouldn't let her drive home alone, so they'd just be trapped at her place. Safety and common sense demanded that they stay put.

Outside was peril and hurt, and issues to deal with. But right now, in here, there was nothing but snow and silence; firelight and the bright pure spirit that was Jillian. He could set care and worry aside for the moment and inhaled the lavender and lilac that clung to her.

She reached up to cup the back of his neck and pulled his head down to rest on her shoulder. Without conscious thought on his part, his arms slipped around her. Sure, gentle fingers stroked his hair. Her lips feathered kisses against his temple, against the soft skin at the corner of his eye, down over his cheekbone and jaw. By the time she got to the place where his pulse beat rapidly in his neck, he was unable to keep holding his breath and it escaped in a sharp gasp of pleasure and anticipation.

With calm and insistent certainty, Jillian's hands found the bottom of his sweater and tugged upwards. With some deft sorcery, she managed to get not only the sweater but his undershirt as well, pulling both up and over his head without any resistance from him. It was natural at that point for his mouth to find hers. Her lips were soft, warm, female and open to him in surrender. Like a man dying of thirst offered a well, he drank in her kiss. Their bodies were frozen. They only moved to kiss, to tease with lips and tongue, until they were lost in the simple beauty of kissing.

But each touch fired volleys of heat and desire into his blood.

Then her hands were moving over his skin, shaping to him, gliding in reverent patterns. Somehow his hands had slipped under her sweater. The warmth of her skin scorched him. He realized he could span her waist with both hands. His fingers caressed the skin on either side of her spine and his thumbs brushed over her ribs, touching something sensual and satiny that was covering the swell of her breasts.

White-hot desire flooded his senses.

Jillian shivered, trembled from head to toe. Her heart was pounding. She found Daniel not just handsome, but beautiful. Soul-shatteringly beautiful. Muscles corded arms and legs, his flat tight abdomen, narrow hips and the hard flare of muscle over his chest and ribs. Her hands glided over the vast of expanse of skin, up his chest to his shoulders, flowing into the strong column of his throat. It was almost impossible to imagine that the sweet, gentle soul of Daniel Jackson was encased in a body that seemed carved from marble.

_Daniel._ Her very being cried out for him.

Jillian reached for the edge of her shirt and began pulling it over her head. To her utter shock his hands clamped over her wrists and stopped her.

"Jill…. Wait," he gasped.

"_Daniel!" _She groaned, torn between frustration and begging,"_Please."_

Daniel pressed his face against her neck and shoulder for a moment, breathing hard. Then he leaned back to look into her eyes. She saw the same desperate desire to continue that she felt. His eyes were dilated so that blue had melted into black.

"Jill, I want this, god knows, but," he stopped, inhaled, "I don't have anything in this house that even resembles any kind of protection. It's not like I planned this."

Jillian's heart melted. _Daniel …._ Of all the times to be sweet and worried about doing the right thing…

But she could _not _stop this time, not again.

She concentrated on breathing and trying to think clearly again.

"Okay," she panted, "Let's think. We're both cleared for off world travel through the Gate, so there's no health issues we need to worry about."

Daniel nodded, his eyes still locked with hers.

"And if you're worried about birth control, I've got that covered."

Hope and desire blazed up in his expression.

"Yeah?" It was breathless, barely whispered.

"Yeah," she smiled, seductive and reassuring,"Now kiss me."

His mouth closed over hers with abandon and joy. Clothing became an obstacle not to be endured, though Daniel lingered for a moment over the pale blue satin and lace confection he found hiding under her sweater. Eventually it joined the chaotic pile of shoes and clothing abandoned on the floor.

She was so hauntingly lovely, sheer breathtaking feminine splendor. He was out of his mind with need, throbbing and urgent. Daniel pulled the band from her ponytail and ran his fingers through her hair, letting the strands fall over her shoulders and breasts in a mahogany cascade. His long fingers roamed gently over her shoulders, moving her hair as they circled to her back. Warmth and urgency followed his touch, mingled in her body with the heat from the fireplace. Jillian tried to deny a desperate intake of breath and failed. Daniel read the signals she gave him with the same deft assurance he used in translating a foreign language, as if she was something unique and oddly familiar at the same time. Every sound, every gasp, every body movement told him what to do.

His honey-colored head bent as he kissed her throat and shoulder. His arms – smooth as silk and muscled like carved marble, warm as summer – wrapped around her, bending her back, bending over her. His hard, male strength was a sharp contrast to the way her body seemed to be melting in the heat of a sun, the instinctive response of a woman to a man she desired. She was helpless now and would have collapsed had he not been supporting her. That he wanted her was obvious. Male need – imperious and demanding – was pressed between his body and her thigh.

Still holding her in one arm, his other hand moved over her waist, up over her ribs and the chaotic rhythm of her breathing until he had cupped her breast in his palm. A delicious, breathless whimper shivered up from the depth of her soul as her hands glided over the powerful curve of his back. She traced the line of his hip to the top of his thigh and then deftly folded her fingers around his rigid need.

Daniel's whole world pulsed with intensity. His hands continued to kindle her passion, firing into ecstasy. He wanted to wait, to make it last, but she was very quickly working him into a state he was going to have to do something about.

He lifted her and settled her under him, her head on the only throw pillow he owned. Jillian groaned again, twisted until her body was fitted to his the way nature intended. Her fingers were on the back of his head, pulling him down. Her kiss was passionate but tender, like soft autumn rain; and he was encased in her, warming her like a hard summer sun. Thunder and lightning surrounded them.

"_Daniel."_

Jillian clung to him, vulnerable to her soul, her body filled with his, her heart filled with rapture. Daniel had buried his face in her shoulder. He thrust hard and she met him move for move, all smooth heat and pleasure. It had been too long since either of them had engaged in such intimacy, too long for it to last the way they wanted it to. They had been fighting this inevitable moment for far too long.

Joy spread over Jillian, strong and deep, and began rippling out from her core. She cried his name and god's, mingled with incoherent sounds of ecstasy, over and over as if her heart was breaking. Daniel drove into her with mind-shattering purpose, her climax fueling his, until the rush of his seed stunned him into ecstatic oblivion that seemed to go on and on for eternity.

His entire body shook. It took every bit of remaining strength and conscious thought to keep from collapsing on top of her. He cradled her in his arms and fought for normal breathing. She entwined her arms around his neck and placed small kisses on his face and hair.

At last he crawled backwards, determined to switch their positions before he crushed her. His fingers curled around her wrist, drawing her with him as he keeled over onto his back. Jillian's eyes were closed and her breathing was no better than his. He pulled her down to lie sprawled on him, encircled by his arms, cradled in exquisite tenderness. Her long legs tangled with his. He kissed her once on the forehead and then his head fell back against the arm of the couch and he closed his eyes.

She settled her head in the hollow of his shoulder and laid her hand over his pounding heart. Her fingers traced aimless shapes on his chest.

_Daniel. _She had never felt so replete, so sated in her life. She was surprised when he spoke. She had believed they would both be incapable for some time.

"For the rest of my life," Daniel panted ever so slightly still, "I'm going to regret that we weren't in a more romantic place."

Her head shifted, her hair brushed silken against his shoulder, so that she could look up at him.

"It was perfect," she managed to whisper.

Daniel's eyes were still black pools surrounded by a thin ring of vivid blue. They stared at each other in wonder for a moment. The room was still bathed in firelight. The world outside had still retreated from the snow and left them in peace and silence.

"It was, huh?" he finally exhaled.

He looked as if the idea left him faintly confused, as if he had no idea how such perfection could have sprung up with no planning or attention to detail. Jillian had given him a treasure as a gift, freely. If she thought it had been perfect, who was he to argue?

His fingertips slid up and down her arm as if he needed to be reassured that she was real.

"Is this an anniversary you're going to want me to remember?" he asked, suddenly.

Jillian looked up sharply to find him grinning at her, humor pulling at the corners of his lovely mouth, his eyes crinkled with it.

She laughed and pressed a line of kisses against his collar bone.

"No," she said, wrinkling her delightful nose in a grin.

"Oh good," Daniel said, faking relief, and still speaking between deep, ragged breaths, "Because I doubt I'll forget a single moment of it, but if you want me to remember the date I'm gonna have to write it down."

"And then remember what you wrote it on and where you put it?" She teased.

"You know me well," he answered and they laughed again, together, in quiet harmony.

Daniel's fingers caught in the uncommon mass of her hair and he kissed her forehead again. He lingered there for a moment, his breath warm as it calmed.

Jillian settled down against him, content. Eventually they would have to move. They would have to feed the fire in the fireplace and one of them would have to brave the falling snow to get her bag of emergency supplies out of the truck.

But right now they were still in an afterglow of shared ecstasy and she was in no hurry. The moments of having to return to some semblance of a normal life lay in the distant future.

For the moment, _now _shone brightly in both their hearts; though perhaps more brightly in hers though she wouldn't admit it.

Because, God help her, Jillian was now hopelessly in love with Daniel Jackson.

_To Be Continued_


	4. Chapter 4

**Missing scenes from Shades of Grey, prompted by noticing that Daniel isn't there when Jack "leaves for Edora" and Daniel's statement that the events took place over the course of a week. Also sets up a storyline I hope to make ongoing for them at an archaeological site off world. At this point there is one or two more scenes to add, so it TBC**

Jillian had been anxious to return to P3K-901 but had wanted to wait so that she could be at the SCG when Daniel returned from Tollana. She knew how hard he had worked on the proposal Hammond had requested. She knew that deeply in his heart Daniel believed in the proposal, even if he had little hope of it working. The supplies she had requested had been delayed, which had given her an excuse for waiting.

Now SG1 had returned and word was spreading like wildfire that none of them had looked happy. Jillian tried not to look like she was hurrying towards Daniel's office. There was no need to add to the growing rumors.

She found him with his back to the door. His jacket was tossed over the desk in a rejected heap. There was a stiff line of tension across his shoulders and down his back and he was rather roughly yanking at his tie.

"Daniel?" she asked, hesitantly.

It was clear in his expression, when he turned around, that he was surprised to see her. He froze, with his tie half off and his fingers still around the knot.

"I thought you were on P3K-901," he said.

"If we're going to make any more progress there we need more oxygen tanks. I came back and thought I would wait to see how it went on Tollana," she paused.

Daniel didn't talk much about feelings, good or bad. But she had learned to watch his eyes. At the moment those eyes were made of shards of broken glass, brittle and bright.

She gestured with her head, backwards towards the door.

"The word out there is that SG1 is back and it doesn't look like things went well."

Daniel blinked.

"The word out _there?"_ he repeated, "We haven't been back long enough for me to get my tie off!"

Jillian shrugged. "The rumor mill here has its own warp drive, Daniel. You know that."

In this case it hadn't taken more than watching the team stalk back through the Gate, without speaking, without greeting anyone, without even talking to each other but immediately going their separate ways. Jillian had seen Daniel come back from off world elated, exhausted, calm, indifferent and every emotion in between. She had never seen him come back shell-shocked and defeated. Hurt seemed to once again have slammed its merciless fist into Daniel's soul.

Jillian watched him carefully. Daniel seemed to consider that and then resumed moving. His tie came off and was tossed carelessly on the desk to join his jacket. He loosened his collar, took off his glasses – which he at least set down carefully – and then leaned on the desk as if he was exhausted.

He heard the rustle of movement as she approached him. Warm arms slipped gingerly around his waist. A soft breath of lavender surrounded and soothed him as she pressed her cheek against his back. Daniel turned again, leaned against the desk and wrapped both arms around Jillian's shoulders. He let his forehead drop until it was resting on her hair.

Daniel felt as if he had been swimming in clear water and was suddenly tangled in fishing nets. He simply had no way to process what Jack had done, or why he had let it happen. Instead he had obediently acquiesced when Jack told him to shut up, certain to the last that Jack had some reason, some logic, or some purpose to his actions that was not nefarious.

Over the last three years, Daniel had lost his faith in many things. But he had clung determinedly to his faith in communication; and to his faith in Jack O'Neill. Both things had been shaken to their very core.

He couldn't articulate what had happened; and mercifully Jillian didn't ask him to. It was too big a question, full of confusion and pain like tiny daggers.

She just stood still and let him hold her.

"Daniel" she said, softly "Can we fix whatever happened?"

"I don't think so," he answered, sounding numb."Not this time."

She felt the tenuous tremor that coursed through him, radiating from his chest. Jillian didn't know whether it was rage or revulsion, sadness or despair. She only knew that his arms tightened around her and he hid his face in her hair and there was nothing she could do.

(0)

Daniel felt a familiar rush of comfort at the sight of Jillian patiently waiting for him in the lab. By now the whole SGC knew what Jack had done and that he had packed and left. There was some relief in that for Daniel. If everyone knew he was spared from having to articulate the situation somehow. He wasn't sure he could force the words out of his mouth, in any language. SG1 hadn't managed to talk about it.

He was equally comforted that Jillian was just as stunned as everyone else, but less brittle than he was. It would help a lot if at least one of them wasn't going to fall apart. He sought her now as the ocean seeks the shore.

Cautiously, as if probing wounds still unhealed, he examined the concept. To his surprise he found something pure and bright and desirable. Seeing Jillian there, waiting for him, was just so damned easy. His eyes met hers across the sterile fluorescent-lit room and then she walked forward and drew him straight into her arms. He pulled her close and kissed her and though his hands were tangled fiercely in the sleek mass of her hair, the touch of his lips on hers remained gentle and chaste.

When they finally broke apart, she said, "Come back to PsK-901 with me. I'm going crazy wanting to show you what we found."

Daniel answered, "I haven't even had time to look at the preliminary reports. I only know they found a submerged city and that's how you got assigned the task of leading the team."

He saw the light of discovery and joy come into her green eyes and a genuine smile played softly with the lips that had just been pressed against his.

"It's like some cataclysm drowned Luxor and the Giza Plateau all at once," she said, in the misty voice of the archaeologist who was truly enamored with a find; smiling not at the carnage such an event must have caused but at the frozen piece of time waiting to be explored.

In spite of the circumstances surrounding SG1 Daniel felt a rush of matching excitement utterly different than the urgently male one she usually caused. A ray of light pushed at the night-dark shadow on his soul.

"Sam's already gone home for a few days. Teal'c asked to go hunt down Bra'tac. We're on stand down for at least two days. I don't think there would be a problem with me going with you."

Her smile widened. "So you're in?"

"I'm in," he said, and found he could even smile back a little."There's just one thing I have to do first."

"And that is?"

His smile faded and he drew in a breath as if it hurt. In a voice that sounded like a roll of distant thunder he said,

"I have to go talk to Jack."

(0)

The next time Jillian saw Daniel he was wearing his grey-blue uniform and carrying a backpack in one hand. He looked as if a thunderstorm had poured in, lashed him to the depths of his soul and rolled away again. Jillian swallowed and tried to smile brightly.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"More than ready," he said, flatly, "Let's get out of here."

(0)

Whatever Jack had said to upset him so badly, Daniel appeared to forget about it the moment he set foot on P3K-901. The words "tropical paradise" didn't begin to describe it. The Star Gate itself was on a cliff. Around them stretched nothing but Caribbean blue ocean and the sound of waves crashing relentlessly somewhere far below. A warm breeze stirred palm trees and tropical plants. The sun was drifting towards the horizon but there seemed to be a few hours of daylight still.

"Wow," Daniel said.

"I know," Jillian said, "Wouldn't you love a vacation home right here, with this view?"

"Big windows and a deck?" Daniel mused.

Jillian slipped her hand around his, linking their fingers.

"And the view from the top of that rise is even better. Then it's a two mile walk to the camp."

They walked casually up the path that led to the beach from the Star Gate, topped the rise and Daniel stopped walking as if he had hit an invisible wall. Jillian got a deliciously satisfied grin on her face.

"_God_," Daniel gasped.

"You're doing better than I did. I actually had to sit down," she said.

The water continued to stretch to the horizon, an endless vista composed of blue ocean and blue sky. But all along the coast of the island, ruins rose up like the skeletal bones of ancient Egypt. Tall columns of a temple and the needle point of an obelisk were closest to shore. Their shimmering outline disappeared into clear turquoise waters and Daniel thought he could also see the temple floor. The dark forms of divers moved in and out of the columns. Further out, where the water turned from turquoise to navy, Daniel could see the unmistakable top of a pyramid.

"God," he repeated, "Jillian, how do you even begin to study something like that?"

"We've got the grids established around the temple and the settlement surrounding it. At the moment we're working on getting everything photographed so we can create mosaics to study. We haven't moved anything yet," Jillian paused and sighed, "I won't tell you it isn't a daunting task, and I have no idea how long we'll have funding to do it."

Daniel hadn't taken his eyes off the incredible sight. He could see two standard issue Zodiacs anchored by the columns. The camp itself was also pretty standard military issue. There was the familiar pattern of large tents and Quonset huts, equipment covered by tarps and out in the open, ATV's and the trailers they pulled. Daniel could also see several personnel moving around and the constant sound of running generators filled the sea breezes.

"I'll talk to Hammond," he said, absently. "Your camp should be five times that size considering the magnitude of the site."

Jillian looked at him, wondering if even Daniel Jackson had the clout to get extra funds out of the SGC for a site that was unlikely to produce any superior technology.

"It isn't even all archaeologists down there," she commented, "We got a marine biologist and I managed to convince Hammond I needed SG8, so I've got Colonel Mallory in charge of the day-to-day things and Scotty Lawrence…."

"The astronomy whiz kid?"

"Yes. He's trying to get us a time frame for a work day. At the moment we're about four hours ahead of Standard Mountain Time, which is why it's so close to evening already," Jillian said, "and I could use a dozen more people who have some kind of experience with underwater sites. I spent almost all of the first day giving a crash course in what to do down there."

Daniel dragged his captivated gaze from the ocean and looked at her in dismay.

"Who did they send you?"

"Divers. They're all certified but none of them have ever been on an underwater site before. Right now they know how to lay out the grids and take pictures. They have no idea what they are looking at or for."

Daniel sighed and shook his head.

"On Earth you'd have a hundred universities lined up for the chance to fund something like this."

"We aren't _on _Earth," she sighed, "And even if we were there are a limited number of people we can tell and even fewer that will actually care."

She paused since there was nothing they could do at that point but shared the unspoken frustration. Sometimes Jillian adored being part of the SGC and sometimes it made her want to tear her hair out.

She shook off the somber mood first.

"We won't have time to actually dive the site before dark," she said, "but we can use snorkels to explore the temple tonight if you want. Tomorrow we can take a Zodiac out even as far as the pyramid if you want and do a proper dive."

"Yeah, I'd like to," he sounded distracted again, "Jill, have you been able to determine which god the temple was dedicated to?"

"That was pretty easy," Jillian answered. She pointed, "See the break in the columns in the center of the grouping and the dark shape inside it? We think there used to be a domed ceiling there. It was directly above a statue of the god the temple honors. I think we found the home planet of the jackal god. It's Anubis."

(0)

It took Daniel less than ten seconds to decide that the attire required for underwater archaeology was vastly more appealing than traditional archaeology. He had spent years in the desert, surrounded by people dressed head to toe in robes and anything else necessary for keeping covered in the relentless sun.

When Jillian came striding across the sand wearing nothing but a navy blue one piece swim suit than clung to her like a second skin, he decided that underwater exploration might be worth every danger it was fraught with. Daniel was more transfixed by the sight than he had been when he had first seen the submerged city.

In a galaxy of heavenly bodies, Jillian was a masterpiece – long, lean legs, curved hips, long waist, full breasts, lush, a rich combination of firm, and soft in all the right places. Daniel clenched his teeth and concentrated on breathing slowly. It didn't escape his notice that Jillian was gazing back at him as if she wanted to memorize him. Her eyes swept his face, his hair, his arms, his chest and shoulders. Daniel's skin burned from more than the heat of the sun.

Jillian smiled at him a little wickedly when they were finally face to face.

"I think it's a good thing you're staying the night," she said.

He wasn't sure he could speak at the moment and she changed the subject anyway. She handed him a snorkel mask.

"It's your prescription. I had it made for you."

She watched the surprised look on his expressive face and felt a small thrill trickle down her spine. He probably had no idea how gorgeous he was at the moment. His eyes were the same color as the brilliant turquoise sea. He was naked except for his glasses and the utilitarian navy blue swim trunks the military issued. There was always just so _much_ of him when he shed his clothes. Muscles meshed from his deep chest to his broad shoulders to the proud column of his throat. The sun had turned the vast expanse of his skin the color of beaten gold.

"What?" he said, interrupting her rampant thoughts.

"You got a diving certification for me. I got you two diving masks so you can actually see when we're down there," she shrugged and smiled, "That's the snorkel mask. The diving mask is also blue, so we can tell them from the others."

Daniel took his glasses off and held the mask up to his eyes to look through it.

"Wow. That's amazing. Thank you."

Jillian looked down at the sand and hot color flooded her cheeks. "You have no idea how much it meant to me that you took the time to get that certification," she said, shyly.

She looked soft and vulnerable in that moment, fragile in a way that Daniel was shockingly familiar with.

Daniel reached for her, wrapping his fingers around the back of her neck and pulling her close. After all the things they had done with and to each other, in bed and out, he was oddly moved that it was still hard for her to put her feelings into words and give them voice. He had seen the joy in her eyes when he had shown the certificate to her, attached to a bouquet of white roses for Valentine's Day. He had felt it in the way her arms had gone around his neck as if he was something precious she never wanted to release, her body melted against his in delight and trust.

He hugged her with one arm, kissed her forehead and then let her go. If he held her for too long he was going to be seized by an almost desperate need to kiss her, and not in a way that was going to lead to them going snorkeling.

They dug the rest of the gear out of the backpack Jillian had carried down. They donned masks and fixed the snorkels and slipped on flippers. Daniel found a safe pocket on the side of it to stow his glasses and then they flopped awkwardly out into the surf.

Jillian swam like a seal, smooth and clean with a wild freedom he couldn't help but be caught up in. He was a bit surprised that she could hold her breath longer than he could, but it gave him a new goal. Tomorrow when they were scuba diving they would be able to talk. But right now they could only communicate by touch and expression.

Daniel's first experience with the sunken city of P3K-901 became measured in Jillian's hand guiding him to new and never-before-seen wonders; measured in the sparkle of her impossibly green eyes as she watched him trying to take it all in.

The statue of Anubis defined the word 'magnificent'. Whatever had been used to achieve the rich black color of the jackal was still gleaming, the gold touches still brilliant. The statue had once been holding something in its outstretched hand, probably a staff, but that had been swept away by the same powerful forces that had torn the roof off the temple. Jillian directed him to the front of the temple and the obelisk and pointed. There had once been two of them flanking the main entrance. The second obelisk lay cracked and broken on the sea floor, a silent testament to the destructive power of nature. Coral was beginning to grow on the lower portions of the ruin, as the creatures of the sea adapted to the changes.

The evening passed in shades of watery blue, in schools of brightly colored fish that darted among the ruins, in the joy of discovery and in the company of a woman who enchanted him like a mermaid. It passed with Jillian laying wonder after wonder before him like a gift. It passed without anything happening to remind Daniel of the events back home…

And that was the kindest gift of all.

(0)

Daniel gave Sam one more penetrating look that said he'd still much rather she had been given command and then marched out after Teal'c. The Jaffa had already vanished but Daniel hadn't intended to follow him. Teal'c would no doubt hide in his room in a deep state of kel'no'reem until SG1 was summoned for their next assignment. Daniel had no intention of hiding in his room, but he had abruptly decided that the exploration of Anubis' city needed his immediate attention.

He tracked Hammond to the General's office and hovered politely in the door for a moment.

"Are you going to try to convince me to promote Major Carter, Dr. Jackson?" Hammond asked.

He swiveled in his chair to regard Daniel frankly.

"No," Daniel let the word slide out slowly, nonconfrontationally. He slouched in the doorway to appear smaller. "I was hoping you'd let me use the Gate to go to P3K-901to check on their progress."

There was a moment of silence in which Daniel almost had to look away. Hammond knew why he _really _wanted to go there. He could tell by the shrewd look in the General's eyes.

"Dr. Jackson, do you have any idea what time it is on P3K-901?"

"Middle of the night?" Daniel guessed.

"Yes."

Daniel smiled a bit. "I don't think Dr. North will mind."

"No, I don't imagine she will," Hammond said, mildly.

"So, I can go?" Daniel really hoped he didn't sound like a teenager asking for the keys to the car.

"I'll give the order. Tell her I said hello."

Daniel managed to just say thank you and not 'thanks, dad', even though that's how it felt.

Forty minutes later, he had a backpack ready and was watching the Gate dial P3K-901.

(0)


	5. Chapter 5

**This is further events taking place during Shades of Gray, immediately after Col. Makepeace was assigned to SG1. Hurt/Comfort/Love/Romance and some pretty graphic (but I hope not pornographic) sex involved.**

Jillian couldn't sleep, or at least she was resisting sleep. It wasn't that her sleeping accommodations weren't comfortable. Jillian had spent most of her adult life on dig sites and knew how to 'rough it' in comfort. She had two air mattresses stacked on top of each other and a blanket she had dragged halfway around the world and now halfway across the galaxy just because she liked it. But, as warm and soft and familiar – and even pale Caribbean blue - as the blanket was, it wasn't a substitute for Daniel.

The previous night, without Daniel for the first time in two days, she had done nothing but dream of him. One dream had been quiet and peaceful, filled with the alternate calm and passion she had come to understand was part of their relationship. But one dream had involved a Daniel in Egyptian garb with glowing golden eyes. That one had woken her in a cold sweat, shouting in a way that made her radio crackle with Colonel Mallory demanding to know if she was all right.

There was a certain advantage to having a Quonset hut to herself, even if it was small. She could stay up all night and not bother anyone. Daniel had left one of his black t-shirts behind and she slipped into it, hoping it didn't make her pathetically co-dependent somehow. But it felt like him and even though she had washed it, the scent of cedar and sandalwood still clung to it enough to be comforting. She found a pair of utilitarian gym shorts to go with it and decided it was good.

Jillian made a cup of tea and began working on the photo mosaic of the ruins around the temple, which was spread meticulously under a sheet of clear plastic on the table. There were a few things about the ruined buildings around the temple that didn't make sense to her.

She had not been working long when a sound came riding on the tropical breeze, one that was familiar but not expected at this hour. Someone was activating the Gate.

Jillian stood and went to the cabinet holding her uniform. She was reaching for her Beretta when her radio crackled. As she picked it up she heard the whoosh of the surge from the Gate drowning out the surf and the generators.

"Dr. North?" The voice on the radio was Colonel Mallory.

"Go ahead," she answered.

"Your light's still on. Are you expecting someone?"

"No, I would have told you."

"Okay, stay put while I find out what's going on."

Jillian was about to reply when a third voice joined the conversation.

"It's just me, Colonel. Daniel."

"Dr. Jackson?"

"Yes. Daniel. Sorry to wake everyone."

Jillian spoke up. "Daniel? Is everything all right?"

There was a pause. "As much as it ever is," he said, finally.

"You got this, Dr. North?" Colonel Mallory asked, gruffly.

"Yes. Thank you," Jillian said. She waited for a heartbeat to let him clear the channel and then asked Daniel, "Do you want me to come get you on an ATV?"

"No, I'll walk. It isn't that far."

"It's dark."

"There's a half moon, "Daniel answered, "Unless there's something out here you think is going to mistake me for a midnight snack?"

Jillian laughed, "No, except for some small marine life closer to shore we've never found anything living on the island."

"Okay. I'll be there in a bit."

(0)

Jillian waited for Daniel in a puddle of artificial light being cast over a pile of equipment, where the trail from the Gate meandered into camp. As he drew closer, his silhouette morphed into the reality of him. Moonlight and shadow worked in harmony to etch the familiar lines of his face. She felt a moment of resentment that the darkness robbed her of the sight of his beautiful eyes and sandy hair.

She moved easily to join him, aware that he had automatically adjusted his stride to hers. He put his arm around her shoulders as they walked. Hers fit nicely around his waist. They walked a few steps in silence and then Jillian spoke.

"You got your fourth," she guessed.

"We got our fourth," Daniel repeated in a tone that clearly expressed his feelings on the matter.

"And you're not happy."

"And I'm not happy."

"They didn't give the command of SG1 to Samantha."

"No they didn't."

Jillian felt a small surge of tenderness. Daniel would take being ignored himself and he'd take most hurt and just bury it so deep it never saw the light of day again. But if he felt someone else had been slighted, he'd let the world know his exact feelings on the matter, usually until Jack told him to shut up.

The problem here was that his respect for Carter was only outweighed by his respect for Hammond. If Daniel needed to vent, it was probably safer for everyone if he did here, in the middle of the night, with only her to hear it.

She hugged him a little tighter around his waist and rested her head against his forearm for a moment.

"So who did they give it to?"

"Colonel Makepeace."

Jillian swallowed and thought carefully before replying.

"If there was ever anyone with a more ironic name I've never heard it," she said, finally.

It made him laugh, as she had hoped, and some of the tension drained out of his broad form.

"He's used to leading a team of marines, Jillian," Daniel complained, "How am I supposed to work with that? It took me this long to break in Jack and now I'm not sure how much of that was even the truth."

Jillian refrained from making any comment. So far nothing she had said about Jack had made Daniel feel any better, and at one point the shadow in his eyes had warned her off saying anything else. Jillian still wasn't entirely sure what had happened; and whatever Jack had said in his last conversation with Daniel, only Daniel knew. He refused to talk about it.

"What are you going to do?" she asked finally.

"Do?"

"To make it work."

"I'm not sure I can."

"But you will."

"You sound certain about that."

Jillian thought she heard a smile in his voice.

"I am. You have the best motivation in the world."

"I do?"

"Sam and Teal'c," she said, calmly, "I don't pretend to understand what's going on with Jack right now. But I know the three of you, and I know you'll stick closer to them than you will to your own shadow."

Jillian looked up at him and now they were close enough to the light above the door of her hut that she could see the smile tugging at his mouth. She went on, "But right now you're with me, and I intend to enjoy it."

They had reached the hut. Daniel knelt down long enough to untie his boots and leave them outside. Sand was a constant annoyance on the island; the less that got dragged in the better.

"Did I hear Mallory say your light was already on? Were you awake?"

"Yes."

"What were you doing up so late?"

_Missing you, _she thought, _wanting you, longing and aching for you, wishing you were here._

"I was working," she said.

Anyone else might have been surprised, or even baffled. Daniel just nodded and hung his jacket up on the wall hook beside hers. He inhaled quizzically.

"Is that coffee?" he asked.

"Yes."

"You made coffee? But you don't drink it. You don't even drink caffeine after four o'clock."

"It's for you. I started it when you signed off the radio, and it's decaf."

He considered that but only briefly.

"I'll drink it anyway," he said, "You're amazing."

"And you're too easy," she smiled.

Jillian reheated her tea while he filled the biggest mug he could find with coffee, cream and sugar.

"What were you working on?" he asked.

"Come here. I'll show you. It's the completed photo mosaics of the area around the temple and the cliff behind it."

Daniel frowned, sipping carefully at the hot liquid in the mug.

"That's kind of an odd area to focus on first isn't it? I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but the temple itself and the pyramid seem more immediate," he observed.

"There are some anomalies there that I wanted to look at more closely," Jillian dragged a folding chair out from between the table and a storage cabinet and opened it for him.

"What kind of anomalies?" Daniel asked, as he folded his tall frame into the small chair and leaned over the pictures.

"See here?" Jillian pointed to specific wavy lines on the hill behind the ruins, "Look at the marks on the buildings and the way the walls and ceilings are collapsed."

Daniel squinted and Jillian handed him a magnifying glass.

"Those look like blast marks, scoring from an overhead attack."

"Like from a mother ship," Jillian nodded, "The Obelisk was clearly knocked over in some kind of tsunami event, and I still believe that's what happened to the roof of the temple. I think these pieces lying here," she paused and pointed to one picture, "used to the part of the ceiling. But the rubble around these buildings fell straight down. It wasn't swept away."

"We know the Goa'uld war against each other," Daniel pointed out.

"At this magnitude? This city is a ghost town, Daniel, but it was never abandoned. I think it was occupied during the attack _and_ the tsunami."

Jillian opened her laptop and began hunting for a file. A series of pictures appeared on the screen.

"These are buildings that seem to be part of a market place. We're finding artifacts on a grand scale, not things that were left behind but things that were here when it was destroyed. It's like Pompeii," She clicked on another series of pictures, "and look at this wreckage we found near the pyramid."

It didn't take him long to identify it.

"That's a death glider," he murmured, "or what's left of it."

She didn't answer right away. She would dearly love Daniel's full time help on this site. Underwater archaeology she knew and could manage. But he was the Egyptologist, and his obsessive search for Sha're had made him the SGC's second resident expert on the Goa'uld. Daniel was far more likely to understand what they were looking at than anyone she currently had working here. If he was in the mood to take a leave of absence from SG1 and join her here, Jillian wouldn't have argued with him.

But she wouldn't ask him to join her, either. Not when the remaining members of SG1 needed to stick together.

"So one or more of the other Goa'uld destroyed Anubis and his city," Daniel summarized.

"Yes, and very deliberately destroyed it," Jillian said, "with more than just firepower from space."

"Ground troops? Jaffa?"

"No, nature itself," Jillian drew his attention away from the ruins to the hill behind them. "This is geological evidence of a major tsunami and it's right behind the city. There are no other layers of sediment between them. The tsunami happened immediately after or even during the attack. The Goa'uld might have triggered the earthquake that caused it, perhaps even deliberately."

"Deliberately?" Daniel repeated, "Is that possible?"

Jillian shrugged, "Aim enough firepower at a fault line and I don't see why it wouldn't be possible. I don't have a way to do a geological survey of this planet, but I wouldn't be surprised to find a fault that would create a tsunami that would come in this direction and cause massive damage."

She turned to face him directly. For a moment, Jillian couldn't say anything. The immediacy of his presence was suddenly apparent. It wasn't unusual to be torn between the marvelous intellectual stimulation she got from conversations with Daniel and the equally marvelous stimulation she got from him in bed. They could talk for hours. They could also spend hours bringing each other to a level of physical and emotional satiation Jillian had never thought possible. All her dreams of the lonely night before – all the good ones – roared to life in her memory, dreams of love and of herself surrendered into ecstasy and Daniel curled up around her drained dry in every good and wonderful sense of it that she knew.

Jillian took a deep breath, exhaled and said,

"The Goa'uld squabble amongst themselves, Daniel. They take territory and Jaffa and resources. But as far as I know they don't actively destroy each other personally, and they don't form alliances for the sole purpose of destroying one in particular. There doesn't seem to have been any intention of taking over this planet as a resource. It was simply devastated and drowned."

"No, I've never heard of that either. I can ask Teal'c."

"I'd appreciate his input," Jillian admitted.

They were silent for a time while Daniel focused on the photo mosaic, moving the magnifying glass slowly over the images

"These pictures are really amazing," Daniel said, finally, "It makes me wish I could get aerial photos of every site I was ever on."

He sat back, took his glasses off and rubbed his overworked eyes for a moment.

"Do you know what I really like?" he asked, conversationally.

He glanced over at her just in time to watch her rake him from his lap to his eyes in a saucy, wickedly delicious way, a slow smile touching her sensuous mouth.

"I know quite a few things you really like," she said.

Daniel felt less as if a spark had flared between them than a sudden wildfire raged in his blood. His breath caught and his train of thought abruptly derailed.

"What were you going to say?" she prompted, when he did little more than stare at her, his shoulders rising and falling slowly.

"I don't remember," he exhaled.

His eyes burned into hers as long, blunt fingers cupped her neck and pulled her into a kiss. His mouth was warm and smooth, filled with gentleness and desire. When they finally paused to breathe, Jillian said,

"I wondered when you were going to get around to kissing me."

Daniel rested his forehead on hers, cupped her face between his hands. He hadn't realized that once he kissed her, exchanged warm breath and tasted the herbal tea and sugar that lingered on her lips that everything would suddenly be better.

Even all the things that were upside down and crazy in his world at the moment somehow seemed better.

"I didn't want you to think that is what I came here for."

Jillian nuzzled her face against his for a moment, kissed the corner of his mouth lightly.

"I thought maybe you came here because it's our six month anniversary."

Daniel reared back so suddenly he almost tipped his chair over. He knew one split second of blood-icing panic before he saw the playfulness dancing in her eyes and heard the mischievous laugh that bubbled out of her like champagne.

"_Jillian!"_

Feigning outrage he lunged forward and tried to grab her. Jillian shrieked and scrambled away with reflexes honed in battle. Her chair went over backwards, tripped her just enough for Daniel to catch her around the waist. Off balance, Daniel orchestrated their descent so that they fell onto her bed. She landed cradled in one of his superbly muscled arms, pressed against his chest.

Her eyes were still dancing, brilliant green with teasing and playfulness, even as her body molded itself to his with familiarity and desire.

"Oh my _god,"_ he gasped, "Don't _ever _do that to me again."

Jillian laughed again.

"I've seen you look less terrified running from Jaffa," she teased.

Daniel's hand found its way under her shirt. His fingers moved in slow circles, over her ribs and abs and along the band of her gym shorts. His touch made her gasp and effectively ended her need to laugh any more.

"I've _been_ less terrified running from Jaffa," he murmured, his mouth against her neck.

Their legs tangled together. Their lips met and parted while his fingers played wicked games on her tender skin. His body reacted in eager, thoughtless, conditioned response. He shifted so that his weight pressed her deeper into the air mattress. Jillian could feel him, pressed against her leg, long, hard and hot even through the fabric that still separated them. It hadn't taken him long to go from being terrified to being fully aroused; and she hadn't even touched him yet.

Daniel leaned back to look into her eyes again.

"Has it been six months?" he asked. His expression was puzzled, though it was also glazed with passion. His gaze fell on her, swept her from the curve of her hip and lingered over the shape of her breasts outlined under the black shirt. That look was as intimate and penetrating as any touch.

"I don't know! I pulled a number out of the air. I wouldn't know if it's even an actual anniversary," she put her hand on the back of his head and enticed him back into another kiss before he could respond. It was hard to say whose lips parted first, whose tongue sought whose.

"Is this my shirt?" he asked, his breath warm on her ear.

"Um-hmm," she agreed. He caressed her neck with his lips again and his fingers climbed higher, seeking her breasts, "You left it behi…._oh god. Oh, god, Daniel."_

"Can I have it back?" he asked in a throaty whisper.

Helplessly, Jillian lifted her arms over her head and he pulled the shirt off in one smooth movement. Before she could draw a breath his mouth had replaced his fingers, though his hand found other things to do. Soft touches flickered over her leg, slowly up and down almost hypnotically and soon Jillian was whimpering sounds that had no words at all in them.

His attention wandered aimlessly from one breasts to the other, tenderly; all his sensitivity and brilliance focused on her. His fingers inched ever closer to a specific goal – and the result was exquisite.

Abruptly, his fingers dipped under the waist band of her shorts.

"Can I have the shorts too?" he asked, leaving whispers of kisses over her pounding heart. His hair tickled her shoulder and collar bone.

"They… aren't …. Yours," she gasped.

"Can I have them anyway?"

Jillian gathered bunches of his shirt in both hands.

"I'll trade you," she coaxed.

Daniel sat up and peeled his shirt over his head in one smooth, seductive movement. Jillian wondered if he did it on purpose, if he knew the effect it had on her to watch him reveal all that glorious skin. She reached for his belt and the rest of their clothes slid off as if they were liquid.

Jillian let her hands run over him as if he was a banquet, over the taut muscle that made a landscape of light and shadow on his chest, moving swirling fingers in slow patterns that traveled downward.

Daniel pulled her against the full length of his body, measuring her out with his own skin. His hands molded to her back, slid like silk down over her hips, pulling her leg over his. He knew exactly how to find the curved cut of muscle that defined her outer thigh, his fingers gliding along it as if it had been carved just for him. He knew where to find the place on her inner thigh that made her shiver and moan and open for him. His questing fingers found her slippery and eager. He teased her gently, but without mercy.

Jillian pressed her forehead against his neck. Her breathing hitched and caught and exhaled in low moans.

The scent of lavender clung to her hair and something else that was like warm sun and tropical breezes and sun screen. Her hand had descended over his hip and down his leg, almost to his knee, before reversing and trailing back up to find the long, hard column of his arousal and the places there that drove him mad. Daniel gasped, his fingers flexing convulsively on her back as he shifted even closer and drove her deeper into the mattress.

Jillian felt the tremor in his body as he fought to remain still. She could sympathize. It was all she could do not to move against his fingers as they continued to torment her. She was besieged by desire and helpless with love at this point, too profoundly moved by the intensity to think clearly.

She teased him, flicking her thumb against a particular spot until he groaned and gasped and everything about him that had been hard got harder.

"J-Jill," he panted, "God, yes …..y-yes."

She stopped then and moved away from him. His moan turned into a frustrated whimper.

But she was only moving to fall onto her back, pulling him over her, opening to him until he was nestled between her legs. She lifted her hips and whispered,

"_Daniel, please_."

With his weight resting on his forearms, Daniel took her face between his hands and kissed her with seductive tenderness, exquisitely gentle. His tongue stroked hers in a way that made her even more aware of what she wanted elsewhere. His hips moved to settle against hers. He rubbed against her intimately for a moment; gliding with just the right pressure in the way he knew would drive her wild.

"_Daniel_," she begged, her hands running down the expanse of his back to his lean hips, pressing to guide him.

He entered her slowly, deliberately, in a long endless slide. His mouth and tongue were still moving over hers. He moved slowly at first as well, easing in and out of her in sweet, sweet strokes. He nuzzled her neck, caressing her skin with his mouth, swirling his tongue beneath her ear.

"_Oh, yes," _her breath on his face was so warm it almost burned.

It was all the encouragement he needed. He took some of the weight off his arms, increasing the pressure of his lower body on hers. His self-control was maddening and she lifted and rolled her hips in an attempt to break it. It drove him even deeper into her.

There was a catch in his breathing and a low moan followed it. He rewarded her by increasing his pace, swiveling his hips to match the motion of hers.

At that point, with both of them spiraling out of mind, they looked into each other's eyes. The passion and need, the _connection,_ flared between them. Everything they couldn't say was there in that gaze. It was more than she could bear and her eyes drifted closed again holding the image imprisoned. He thrust faster, harder then and her head tossed involuntarily.

When she cried his name it was filled with meaning, with warning of the intensity about to explode, with joy that it was him and no one else; pleading, pleading with him not to abandon her now, but to carry her through it.

His voice was a throaty whisper in her ear and how he could still speak she didn't know. But it was always words with Daniel.

"_Now, Jillian_."

She shuddered and climaxed, crying out. Her hands gripped his forearms. Her face was pressed against his chest. Her body rippled and convulsed all along the hard length of him still moving inside her. It went on and on and on, drawn out by Daniel's incredible timing, moving at just the right pace to accentuate every moment. He maintained his control, though his teeth were clenched and his eyes were tight shut.

She came back into reality slowly, aware that he was still moving in unhurried perfect rhythm. She was still encased in his arms like something precious to him. He kissed her face and tasted tears.

That made him pause, leaning back to look into her eyes again.

"Good tears?" he asked, softly. His thumb brushed across the moisture on her cheek. The passion in his eyes was momentarily replaced with concern.

She nodded, biting her lip and trembling. Her hands threaded into his hair and she kissed him passionately. He seemed distracted for the moment, still unmoving as he determined that she was truly all right. She used it to leverage against him and flip them over.

Daniel didn't resist.

"You have a lot of control tonight," she observed, nuzzling her face against his, gently biting his lip this time.

"It's not as late in the day for me," he answered, then closed his eyes and lost his train of thought again as she moved her hips in a slow horizontal figure eight.

Jillian, Daniel had discovered, had spent a lot of time in the Middle East, where she had learned all the local native dances. Freed from restraint, the way she could move her body was bewitching. His hands trembled on her legs as he tried to shift up into her. His sighs turned into deep-throated groans.

Control was hers now and he surrendered it willingly. She abused her new power over him ruthlessly, rejecting his leisurely pace and moving in every sweet, sensual, erotic was she knew until she had him twisting beneath her like a rope bridge in the wind.

She got a single warning – her name moaned desperately from deep in his chest – and then his head fell back and his spine arched up off the mattress. He thrust into her mindlessly before his release went roaring through him. His teeth clenched, his head thrashed on her blanket. Light played over the muscles on his chest and abs as they rippled in response. His hands flexed as he tried not to hold her thighs too tightly, knowing he could leave bruises.

Rapture played on his expression. Suddenly warmth was spreading through Jillian once again, just watching him, feeling the ecstasy of his body releasing into hers. She had just had one of the most intense sexual experiences of her life and yet there was no denying the pressure building inside.

"_Daniel,"_ she gasped."_Dan, oh God ….oh….god….."_

Realizing what was happening, he ran his hands up the curve of her waist to encompass her breasts, caressing them in the way he knew she couldn't resist. Jillian crested and broke again in cascading waves that dragged every bit of release from Daniel that he had to give.

Daniel reached up and pulled her down until she was laying sprawled on him. He took her face between his hands again and kissed away a fresh wash of tears. His muscles still trembled, locked and shattered at the same time. Eventually the tension ran out of him and his breathing stilled again. Jillian was simply melted on top of him. Her fingertips stroked his neck in idle patterns. Her head was cradled on his shoulder and he could feel her eyelashes, still damp with tears, against his skin.

Daniel ran his hands down her back, soothingly. He kissed the side of her head and paused to inhale the sweet floral scent of her hair. Jillian turned her head enough to meet his lips and gave him a long, lingering kiss.

"You all right?" she asked.

"Yes," he drawled, "That's the first near-death experience I ever enjoyed."

Jillian laughed and then made a sound akin to a purr as she slid off him to curl up against his side. His chest was starting to rise and fall in the pattern of sleep. At times, after sex, Daniel would start talking as if he would never stop, sharing things she had never thought to hear. She would absorb those things into her soul in sacred, silent trust, never to be shared again unless he brought them up.

At other times he was hopelessly male and would fall into a deep exhaustion and almost immediate sleep, even if they had just woken up. Tonight she could hardly blame him for such a reaction, especially when she felt the same way.

Drowsily, she untangled from him and started to rise. He caught her wrist, though his eyes remained closed.

"Where you goin'?"

"I have to turn off the coffee maker and the lights."

He let her go, though he slanted one eye open to watch her. God she was beautiful. He was going to have to tell her that as soon as he was capable of more than slurred speech.

He groaned again when she began pulling the blanket out from under him and forced him to move. He had to admit that the cool sheets felt good, and she felt even better crawling back in beside him. Long limbs wrapped around him. Her head fell naturally in the hollow of his shoulder. Instantly, sleep came to claim him without mercy. He had just enough time to make sure she was encased in his arms before he tumbled under.

(0)

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

_The Jaffa were on them and no one had time to wonder who had missed the one thing that might have spared them such a fate. All Daniel knew that was one moment he was in a chamber trying to make out a blurry inscription and the next he was running backwards laying down cover fire with Sam and Jillian as they tried to make it to the Gate. But none of them seemed to know where the Gate was any more and the corridors stretched endlessly, twisted, and turned like the coils of a giant snake._

_He could hear O'Neill screaming defiance in the distance, but Daniel couldn't see him, couldn't get to him. Teal'c voice was a roar that over shadowed the continuous blasts of countless staff weapons. Then he couldn't hear either of them anymore and that was worse._

_One moment Daniel was running and the next he was down, writhing in agony as a staff blast took him in the spine. His legs collapsed out from under him and he fell face down. _

_The Jaffa were coming. He could hear the relentless, horrible chant of their armor, the sound growing ominously louder and louder. Daniel tried to rise and knew a cold hard helplessness as he realized he was paralyzed. Jillian crouched over him with terror in her eyes, whimpering in a way that tore at his heart. He knew Sam was standing over him, still firing her P90._

"_Run!" he begged," Jillian, run. GO!"_

_She rose and he thought he saw her back up a step._

_Then the Jaffa caught them. He twisted his upper body, looking for Sam. He saw her fighting for her soul against the demon horde and was seized by love and horror. In the end it took three Jaffa to subdue her and force her to her knees._

_Sam! His soul bled her name._

_Jillian was screaming his name as she was dragged back down the corridor towards them. Behind her he could see a sea of snake-heads, the Goa'uld in true form, swarming towards them. The floor writhed with them. Walking upright in the middle of them was O'Neill._

_O'Neill's eyes flashed gold and he laughed in the deep echoing sound of the Goa'uld. Daniel fought the need to be violently sick. He looked away, only to see Teal'c lying in a mass of blood and mutilated organs at the end of the hall. Teal'c was dead, beyond any hope of saving._

_O'Neill gestured towards Sam and one of the snake-heads slithered towards her with deliberate, tormenting slowness. Daniel's hand inched towards his Beretta, still strapped to his useless leg. He pulled it and pointed it at Sam, who saw him move and turned to look at him in mute appeal. She nodded once. _

_Daniel fired without mercy into her head, needing to destroy her completely, so that no sarcophagus could revive her – for even death wasn't any surety against the Goa'uld. He saw the light go out of her eyes and prayed they never opened again. _

_Walking death as the host of a Goa'uld was no fate for anyone. _

_Daniel shot with ruthless accuracy until nothing was left of Samantha's lovely face but shredded skin and streaming blood._

_Jillian was still screaming his name, struggling in the arms of the Jaffa. He turned the gun on her, hoping only that he'd have enough ammo left to use it on his own head after he had utterly annihilated the woman he loved. Regret that he had never told her that washed over him an icy river._

_His finger squeezed the trigger, over and over. He watched as she fell in a mess of blood and shattered brains and then tried turning the gun on himself when he felt a hand on his wrist and realized he could still hear Jillian shouting at him._

_He had failed her and the Goa'uld would take her away. A killing need to shriek in rage boiled up inside him._

"Daniel, wake up_," Jillian insisted, her voice less of a scream, closer to him._

_It was her hand on his wrist, holding the gun down. _

"Daniel! Come on, wake up_."_

And suddenly he was sitting up in bed, a violent sound erupting from his chest. His head and heart were throbbing on the verge of an attack. He could only breathe in short, harsh gasps. Dark lay thick and heavy in the room and in his heart.

Then someone snapped a light on and he blinked as his eyes adjusted. There was a blurry figure standing beside the bed, the same one holding his wrist, rubbing the ball of her thumb over his pounding pulse.

"Easy, Danny," Jillian murmured, "It was just a nightmare."

Daniel looked up, still trying to focus in the sudden harsh light. He pulled his hand away and fumbled for his glasses on the nightstand, desperately needing to see his surroundings clearly.

They were in his bedroom at the condo. He had a distinct memory of returning from off world, coming home with Jillian, spending several quite pleasant hours in the pursuit of physical bliss, and then falling asleep curled up around her.

Jillian was there, watching him anxiously. Her lovely face was still god-blessedly still in one, perfect piece. Daniel gasped for air and folded over for a moment, his hands clasped over the back of his neck.

God….. _god…._

Jillian reached out and smoothed his hair, running her hand down his neck and the line of his shoulder. Then she sat gently on the edge of the bed.

"Really bad dream, huh?" she asked.

Daniel nodded but he sure as hell didn't want to talk about it. The image of her face disappearing in a shower of blood and bone was still too vivid. He could see in her eyes that she wanted to ask, so he was grateful and relieved to the bottom of his soul when she just said,

"Are you going to be all right?"

He considered it for a moment. He was still utterly shaken, but no longer felt like he was on the edge of a brain hemorrhage or a heart attack.

"What were you doing standing up?" he asked, still dazed.

"Trying to keep from being pummeled," Jillian answered, lightly, "The way you were thrashing you'd have launched me straight out of bed, which could be fun 'til I hit the floor."

He pulled her close and enfolded her in his arms the way a child would hold a beloved teddy bear. He wrapped his legs around too, ridiculously relieved to find he could move them. She didn't resist. She just fitted her body to his and put her arms around his waist. He was shaking as if the chill of winter had invaded his bones.

"What can I do?" she whispered.

"Hold me," he answered, in dead seriousness. "Keep me from reaching for the phone and calling Sam."

"Daniel, it's 3am," Jillian pointed, smoothing her hand up and down his arm.

"I know, that's why you have to keep me from calling her," he hid his face in her hair, against her neck, "and Jack."

"_And _Jack," she repeated.

He nodded_, _his voice muffled "And Teal'c. I'd want to call you, but you're here."

Jillian bit her lip and ran her hands down his bare back. His need to contact his whole team gave her an inkling what the dream had been about. She tipped her head back to look into his eyes.

"Why don't we just get up, get dressed and go to work?" she suggested.

"To the SGC?"

"Yes."

"It's 3am."

"Are you going to be able to go back to sleep?"

Daniel closed his eyes and shuddered, hard. It was enough of an answer.

Jillian untangled from him, took him by the arm and bodily hauled him out of bed.

"Come on. The rest of SG1 is there, albeit asleep. You can at least be reassured about that. We'll stop at the diner and get breakfast. I'll buy," she said.

He watched as she gathered her clothes off the floor where they had been discarded earlier in the night. She had slept in one of his t-shirts and a pair of her own panties that were little more than strips of green silk and lace. Their love making had been sweet and slow and possibly a little noisy and it had left Daniel with little doubt of how she felt about him.

And now she was up in the middle of the night, not the least bit angry at having been driven out of bed or not being allowed to go back to sleep. She was, in fact, preparing to buy him breakfast and then go to work at some god-awful pre-dawn time in the morning just to get him closer to his team mates.

He watched her and the words _I love you_ clawed at his chest and made it hurt; but he couldn't say them. He couldn't have something so important come on the heels of that nightmare and be forever linked with it in his mind. He couldn't say it out loud, the way he meant it.

Not now.

"Daniel?"

He had been frozen, unmoving, but her voice stirred him. He looked into her leaf green eyes and the ache in his chest got worse, like it had a knife stuck hilt-deep in it.

"Yeah," he said, still a little dazed, "That sounds perfect."

Daniel walked across the room in deliberate strides and abruptly caught her in his arms, pulling her hard against the pain in his chest. He kissed her, like he meant it, like this one kiss could make her part of his soul, like he never wanted it to end.

At some point between their lips first meeting and finally having to stop for oxygen's sake, Daniel felt the pain slowly dissolve and realized he could breathe again.

(0)


	7. Chapter 7

Daniel stepped out of the icy rollercoaster that always brought him home. He had a deep sense of relief, and sorrow. He was tired, elated, worn-thin and hungry. Sg1 had come home once again – safe and together. For the moment that had to be enough. He looked up to find Jillian watching him from the control room and his heart lurched. Even without his glasses he knew it was her.

By the time he had made it out into the hallway she was all but running towards him.

"_Dan_," she whispered, throwing her arms around him, utterly heedless of his desperate need for a shower and forbiddingly bristly jaw, "_Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan_…."

His arms slid around her of their own volition. His fingers stroked her back gently. He could feel the tension in her slender frame, the muscles and bone taut even as she trembled with relief. No one had been this glad to see him for a very long time. Jillian was an uncharted land of mesmerizing passion, where they made love each time as if it would be the last and greetings were always far beyond the casual, _hi honey, how was your day._

Daniel held her, wrapped her in his presence and did his best to let his warm body and beating heart tell her '_I'm fine. I'm alive.'_

"Hey," he murmured, into her hair, his breath tickling her ear, "I only have one name, don't wear it out."

A sound between a laugh and a sob left her. She nuzzled into his shoulder, pressing against him as if she had been waiting for him her entire life. Some emotion long buried and forgotten closed Daniel's throat and moistened his eyes. He pressed his forehead against the top of her head. Tears bred in his heart and born in his eyes died peacefully in the silky mass of her hair. He stayed there for a long moment, inhaling lavender and sweetness, until he regained control.

Gradually he became aware that she was speaking, in what appeared to be one long run on sentence.

"So I finished up with that and I came back from four two five and asked for permission to join you at the dig and they told me the site was shut down and a search and rescue effort was in effect to find you! You were kidnapped by an Unas?" She sounded like she didn't believe for one second any of this could be true.

Jack went striding past them at that point.

"Get cleaned up, Daniel," he said, "Hammond wants to debrief in half an hour."

O'Neill didn't wait for an answer. It was one of those orders even the civilian member of his team would obey without question.

Daniel cradled the side of Jillian's face in his hand for a moment. He knew she could see the sadness in his eyes and he also knew she wouldn't push him about it now.

"You heard the man, and it's likely to be one heck of a debrief. Can you give me two hours and then we'll go to my place?" he asked.

"We?" she repeated uncertainly, "I thought you might prefer being alone."

He smiled and it was gift, a shining star of welcome and delight in contrast to the sadness in his eyes and the grime covering his face. She returned it, tentative and breathless.

"Not tonight," he said, "I have too much to tell you and…. And I….missed you."

He rushed the admission and it made Jillian's heart throb. This relationship was not without risks. She could easily have lost him just now and they both knew it.

But it wasn't just the physical risks that were the worst; and she didn't much want to be alone tonight either.

"I'll wait for you. Do you want me to order something for us to pick up on the way home?" she asked.

Daniel wrinkled his nose. "Anything that isn't camp fire roasted symbiote or soggy power bar," he said. He smiled at her puzzled look and finished, "I'll explain later. Make it Chinese, _lots _ of Chinese. I'm starving."

He kissed her very lightly on her forehead and then walked off down the hall. Jillian watched him go, content with pleasure at its most basic – for the moment they were both safe.

(0)

"One of these days one of us should just learn to cook," Jillian observed, looking ruefully at the wreckage of paper boxes and napkins that was left at the end of their meal.

"This is so much easier," Daniel answered, scraping what was left of General Tsao and his chicken out of a box.

"It's not exactly eco-friendly," Jillian said.

"Hey, we save the planet in other ways. Besides, the boxes are made from recycled paper."

Daniel got up and disappeared into the kitchen, coming back finally with his fourth cup of coffee.

Jillian lifted an eyebrow.

"You should go easy on the caffeine or you're going to be up all night," she said.

Daniel rubbed the back of his neck and winced. "No, I'm not," he said, certainly.

He sat down on the couch, across from where she was sitting in the chair by the fire.

"You haven't said much," he prompted.

Jillian slipped out of the chair and knelt in front of the coffee table, starting to gather the empty boxes. He could tell she was gathering her thoughts as well, so he waited patiently.

In the two hours it took him to shower and debrief, someone had relieved him of having to tell her about Rothman. He had found her in their lab, fighting tears, lost in both grief over Robert and guilt at her relief that it hadn't been Daniel. He had held her for a long time, allowing his own grief a moment of free rein before burying it deep and saying,

"Let's get out of here."

Now they were at the end of their Chinese dinner and the end of his long story about P3X-888. She had listened in relative silence, content to hear him out and pick at her Chow Mein.

Content to just be in the same room with him.

But now he wanted a reaction. She could tell by the way he hadn't looked away from her since coming back into the room with his coffee.

Jillian sank back on her heels with a pile of napkins wadded in her fist and regarded him. Finally she shook her head slowly and laughed a bit

"Only you would be captured as an evening meal, upset the entire hierarchy of a group and wind up being invited to join the Clan," she paused to grace him with a tender smile, "and I mean that as a compliment."

Daniel grinned in a self-effacing way and swallowed more coffee before replying.

"I guess that does kind of sum up what happened; though I don't think I was invited to join so much as invited back to visit."

Jillian saw it in his eyes then – the faraway look, the call of something unknown that could become known.

"You're going to go back," she said, with certainty.

Their eyes met and his burned with intensity.

"Yes."

"Do you think Hammond is going to let you? We lost some very good people on eight eight eight and by your own admission the water is teeming with Goa'uld just looking for hosts."

She saw the hesitation in his expression. For someone who held his emotions locked deep inside, Daniel had an amazingly expressive face. But the determination was there as well.

"It may take some serious sweet talk," he admitted,"and I'm prepared to grovel if I have to."

"Is learning about their culture that important?"

He shrugged, but she new by the set of his shoulders and the glint in his eyes that it _was _that important, at least to him. "An ally is an ally. Besides I'll probably be able to write another book I won't be able to publish in my lifetime."

Jillian shared an understanding grin with him and then went to sit by him on the couch.

"Take me with you," she said, hopefully.

She was shocked to see some of the color leave his face. He looked down and realized the coffee mug was shaking. He put it down on the table and balled his hands into fists.

"Don't ask me that, Jill. I can't," he was staring across the room, unable to meet her eyes.

Jillian put her hand on his arm.

"I'll be fine Daniel," she said.

Now he did look at her. She understood, of course. There was some weird empathy between them in which he never had to give voice to the darker shadows that haunted his soul. Out of gratitude and respect for that understanding he forced out two words.

"Rothman wasn't," he whispered.

Daniel turned to look at her finally and then he rested his forehead on hers.

"Jill," he began, "You're just going to have to be patient with me. Right now I can't stand to have you within a million light years of a Goa'uld. Please don't ask."

Jillian put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him, slowly at first and then deeper, until their arms went around each other and they kissed until they were breathless.

"I guess I'll just have to read the book," she murmured, lightly.

He exhaled in a single, sharp, relieved gasp and caught her against his chest again.

"I'll clean this up. You finish your coffee," she said.

Jillian slipped reluctantly out of his arms and gathered the mess back into the bags it had been delivered in. She cleaned up dinner and the coffee maker so it would be ready for the morning. By the time she had returned to the living room, Daniel was curled up on his side on the couch – sound asleep.

Jillian went to the bedroom and came back with a blanket, tossing it over him very gently. Daniel slept for only a few hours at a time and never very deeply. Having experienced his reaction to some of the darker nightmares that stalked him in sleep, she didn't blame him. Daniel certainly had more than his fair share of nightmare material to draw on. He twitched when the blanket settled down but didn't wake. That he had fallen asleep at all was a testament to his exhaustion.

She stood watching in for a moment. He was far more peaceful at the moment than he had looked since coming back. Light caressed his closed eyelids and smooth brow. He breathed in the low, slow rhythm of sleep, his broad shoulders rising and falling. He had his arms folded across his chest, firelight turning his skin to bronze. Jillian knew what it felt like to sleep encased in those arms.

Like she was home. _Home. _More than any single place she had ever lived, home had become Daniel's arms.

He was lost to her temporarily though; lost in dreams she hoped were soothing. She was robbed for a while of his runaway mouth, of his stories and laughter and philosophy and sweet tender kisses.

Leaving him to his rest, Jillian wandered into his office in search of something to read while she waited.

(0)

She was reading in the chair by the fire when he finally stirred. He sat up, blinking, squinting without his glasses.

"Jill?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"A few hours."

Daniel raked his hands through his hair, making it stick up in spikes, then rubbed his eyes. He got up, staggered a few steps and then disappeared down the hall for a while.

When he returned he came to kneel in front of her, leaning in close enough for her to lean over and kiss. So she kissed him.

"Hmm," she said, when they separated, "Mint."

Daniel grinned, managing to look sexy and casual and boyish all at the same time. Something in Jillian's veins tingled.

"I thought you might prefer it to Chinese food, coffee and sleep," he said. "I'm sorry I fell asleep."

He spoke as if being exhausted was a personal failure. Jillian trailed her fingers down the side of his face.

"From what I understand, being dragged across a planet and into a cave by an Unas is very tiring," her fingers continued down his jaw and neck, pausing to make little swirls just above the collar of his t-shirt.

Daniel didn't answer right away. He reached up and pulled the clip out of her hair. Unbound it tumbled into glossy, fire lit luster and he spent a few quiet moments watching it glide through his fingers.

"I thought about you," He murmured, "I wondered if I would see you again, if you would be mad at me."

"Mad at you!" she interrupted, startled.

His eyes met hers then. "For getting into trouble."

A smile filled with tolerance and affection played at the corners of her mouth and made him want to kiss her again. Her hand trickled back up his neck to cup the freshly-smoothed skin drawn tight over his jaw.

"Trouble is your middle name, Jackson," she whispered and then gave him the kiss he wanted.

It was a long kiss, sensual, testing, teasing, exploring. It made blood begin to pool in intimate places, so he broke off to catch his breath. Jillian was wearing a sleek white t-shirt made of some silky fabric that slid over her shoulders and breasts like shimmering water, hinting at some lacy confection beneath it.

It was so damned alluring he thought he might go crazy with desire.

Unwilling to meet her eyes and betray the current course of his thoughts, he reached for the book in her hand to move it out of the way. He was startled when he realized what she had been reading.

"This is my archaeology dissertation!" he said.

Her expression was the image of angelic innocence. Her fingers were still lightly exploring the contours of his face as if she could memorize him that way. She brushed them over his eyebrow and into the spiky edges of his hair. He looked younger without his glasses and somehow more vulnerable, though why that should be she couldn't say.

"It was on your desk," she shrugged, lightly.

"I got it out because I needed a reference," he explained, "Jillian, there are _hundreds_ of books in this house. You could have found something much more interesting than this."

"All the other books had the same problem," she said.

He looked entirely blank. "What?"

"None of them were written by you," Jillian took the binder back from him and set it reverently on the table by the chair. "You really don't know how brilliant you are, do you?"

"I was smart enough to find you," he said, "Now I need to be smart enough to keep you. I owe you an apology."

"For getting captured? Daniel…."

He interrupted her with a sharp shake of his head.

"No. For saying you couldn't go to eight eight eight with me.'

The elegant slash of her eyebrows knitted together in a frown. He rushed on.

"I don't have any right to tell you where you can and can't go. I don't have any right to inflict my neurosis on you. I don't have the right to keep you from exploring whatever archaeological or anthropological discovery you want."

Her smile was so tender and kind it made his heart ache.

"Daniel, I understand," she said, "It's all right. I don't want to upset you. I'll do whatever you want."

"I _want_ to lock you in a room with armed guards; but I can't, Jillian, I don't have the right."

Her expression melted again.

"Daniel," she said. Her fingers fluffed his casually mussed hair. "There are a dozen planets I can think of off the top of my head where I can go indulge my academic curiosity without any threat from the Goa'uld. I don't have to go to eight eight eight."

"I know," he said, wrapping his hands around hers and holding them tightly. The slow dance of her fingers on his face was sensual and erotic. He wanted that touch in other intimate places. The firelight danced on the naked skin of her arm, ivory smooth, firmly molded into a feminine curve. Her hands held within his were strong and graceful. He tried not to notice.

"But now I think I would like you to go with me. Not right away," he amended quickly, when he saw the eager spark in her forest green eyes. "We'll compromise," his eyes met hers hopefully. "I think that's what people in relationships do?"

"So I've heard," she said, with dry humor. "What do you suggest?"

"Let me go back first…."

"By yourself?" she sounded hesitant.

"I'll take Teal'c with me," he reassured her.

Jillian nodded. Teal'c would go if Daniel asked him. In fact if Daniel tried to go without him, Teal'c would probably threaten to hurt him; and Daniel would be utterly safe.

"Once I know that I'm welcome in the Unas Clan, and Chaka still has control over it, I'll take you with me. Just let me make sure it's as safe as possible first."

She was breathing slowly, her breasts rising under the silky white shirt, causing another torment of pleasure to rush through his body.

"Really?"

He leaned up and forward so that his mouth was once again inches from hers.

"Yes," he said, softly, in nearly the same slow reverent whisper he used when she touched him in a certain way, "We'll write that book together. All right?"

"Oh, Dan," she whispered, falling forward to wrap naked arms around his neck and cover his mouth with her own.

Her voice trembled in exactly the same way it did when he touched _her _in certain ways; a lover's sigh, his name torn from her. It made his imagination run wild, sparked memories of honest intimacy when he was body and soul root-deep in her, vulnerable but safe.

Her hands slid down his back and gathered folds of his shirt, drawing it up and over his head; her hands slid over his neck, his shoulders, and down his chiseled forearms - giving him permission to do what he craved in his body and in the deep recesses of his heart.

Daniel instantly kindled and caught fire, surged forward, eager with longing. The kiss that followed confirmed that she felt the same way. Then the hands on his shoulders pushed him back and her eyes were almost feral, sultry. Every hair on his body stood in response.

"Switch places with me," she exhaled.

Daniel's pulse thundered as he realized what she was offering to do. She was extraordinarily good at it. The last time, he had actually blacked out for a moment. Curious, he had pressed her about how she knew so well what felt so good. That was when he had found out about her former – and only other- lover, a Frenchman who had not been shy about showing her exactly what men liked. At this point Daniel didn't know whether to be jealous or to call the man up and thank him.

She slipped from the chair, urged him to sit as she stripped him of the rest of his clothing.

Jillian in her current mood…. So rare, but _so_ worth whatever he had done to cause it.

When it came to physical intimacy, Daniel had discovered Jillian was playful, adventurous, willing, affectionate, and extremely skilled. But she was rarely the aggressor, rarely took control.

She stripped down to the latest bit of intimate apparel to be revealed to him. He was pretty sure he had never seen her in white before. There was a satiny green set that he adored and one that was hot pink and black lace…

Jillian dragged his thought abruptly back to the present by leaning over to kiss him. Drugged with need he opened his mouth and swept her tongue with his own. He kissed her blindly, passionately, aching with gratitude for her sweet generosity.

She caught his hands in her own and pinned him to the arms of the chair, stronger than she looked but he had no desire to resist. It was willing surrender. Still kissing, she released his hands to run her fingers delicately up his arms. She caught the back of his head in one hand, pulling his mouth down with hers as she knelt sensually between his spread knees. Daniel kept his mouth on hers. The kiss may be endless. It didn't matter. He couldn't breathe on his own any more.

When Jillian finally broke away from him, with the wicked smile of a true temptress, he was panting and groaning and desperate. He reached for the lacy strap on her shoulder but she pushed his hand away.

"Leave it on." It was an order, it was a plea. He inhaled sharply and then groaned again as she dragged her nails across the muscles and skin between his hips and his groin over and over. Why on earth had he ever told her how sensitive he was there?

Probably because it just felt so damned good. He was shaking with the need to touch her, but he had a feeling he knew what her response would be so he clutched the arm of the chair instead.

By the time she wrapped those long, strong fingers around his throbbing shaft, he was shaking with the effort to remain still. Colored lights exploded behind his closed eyes.

"_Jill….god," _he managed tomoan before she exchanged her mouth for her hand and all ability to think or speak fled from him.

With a scientist's eye for precision, Jill had learned to play Daniel's body the way a master musician played his instrument. She had watched for the change in his breathing, the tension in his tall frame, the rhythm of his pulse. Whatever made him moan and thrash was to be remembered and repeated.

She had done this for the sheer joy of driving him mad with pleasure and now she put it to good use. She enveloped him in sensation; let her tongue play the wet, wicked game she knew he adored. She could keep him on the edge this way for a very long time, hovering in ecstasy. He didn't move except to breathe in and out in a shallow way. Whimpers and inarticulate pleas emerged of their own volition.

His head fell back, his muscles strained, the arms of the chair crushed in his hands. Yet, with a last flick of her tongue she abandoned him. Frantic, pulsating on the brink of climax he forced his eyes open.

"_Jill,"_ he sounded as if he had been strangled.

"Is that what you want?" she asked, "To finish like this?"

He stared down at her with glazed eyes; and at that point decided to take back some control.

"No," he said.

There was a perfectly good, soft sheepskin rug in front of the fire. He saw no reason for it not to serve some purpose. He slid down off the chair until he was kneeling in front of her. Gathering her in his arms his lips found hers again in a heated kiss. Jillian was melting. In spite of everything, Daniel still possessed something like innocence. The generosity of his spirit was coupled with a tender vulnerability that touched her soul. Daniel was passionate and caring and far more magnificent than he knew.

Jillian's hand glided down his side until she found his erection again, needing to touch him, to please him. He moaned into the kiss and mimicked her gesture, skimming over her skin until his fingertips found damp silk. Apparently her teasing had turned her on as much as it had him. He knew from experience how sensitive she was, so he made do with simply stroking his fingers gently over the fabric while his mouth ravaged hers.

"_Oh, god, baby," _Jillian whimpered.

Daniel wasn't sure when she had started calling him baby but she only did it when they were making love and it went straight to his arousal. Unconsciously, he thrust blindly into her hand. More deliberately, he positioned his thumb where he knew it would do the most good and brushed it in a delicate, rapid circle.

This time when he attempted to remove her remaining apparel she didn't object. He moved over to the rug, his hand around her wrist, drawing her along with him. Jillian tried to get him to lie down on his back, but now he did resist. He had control back and he didn't want to relinquish it yet. She fell back into the soft sheepskin, sighed in blissful honest ecstasy.

Daniel stretched out next to her, finally – _finally_ – allowed to touch her. His fingers and mouth skimmed and swirled and feathered over her until she was writhing and whimpering and begging him.

"_Dan….Dan, please… please."_

She was also the only person in the Universe who called him Dan. He had long ago decided he liked it.

By the time he had her dancing on the point of his tongue he could no longer claim to be in any kind of control. Passion and desire had flamed into a blazing need. He covered her body with his. Her arms slipped around his neck. Her back arched up as he hands lifted her hips and then her thighs were around his waist and he was encompassed in moist, indulgent heat.

He moaned her name again and she called him baby one more time before dissolving into cries and whimpers and gasps. He thrust hard, over and over and over, dropping his head onto her shoulder, cradling her in both arms.

It was perfect. It was scorching. It wasn't going to take long. They were already too close.

He tilted his body so that all his weight was on one elbow, freeing one hand to run over her breasts, the dip of her waist and the curve of her hip, again and again, teasing without mercy. The groan that came from her soul told him how close she was. Her hips rolled up to meet him. Her hands were clenched around his forearms. In a husky whisper he begged,

"_Jillian, come for me."_

Jillian threw her arms around his neck again, buried her face against his neck and sobbed his name just before her body went rigid. There was a single moment when she seemed suspended and then she dissolved into convulsions of pure physical joy. He stayed with her as long as he could, until he was crying out and running molten into her core, his awareness of anything else obliterated.

He collapsed next to her, intense contentment burning away everything else. Jillian curled up on his, shivering as tremors coursed through her body like aftershocks. He held her and tried not to be overwhelmed by her reaction to him.

He had never known anyone could climax as long as Jillian. She claimed that before him, she hadn 't known either.

Daniel smoothed her hair away from her face and ran his hand down the fluid curves of her waist and hip. Jillian rained tiny kisses on his jaw, as if she was moved, as he was, to the depths of her soul. The occasional shiver still rippled over her.

"To stand outside the ordinary self," Daniel murmured.

Jillian tilted her head so she could look into his eyes.

"The meaning of ecstasy," he explained, rolling onto his side and draping his leg over her, pulling her close. His fingers swept over her cheekbones tenderly. "You make me feel that way. Extraordinary."

"Daniel," she whispered his name as if she worshipped it and everything associated with it.

A smile, genuine and emotional, hinting at the true nature of his being, played at the corners of his mouth. His eyes were lit by the same aspect.

"We should go to bed," he said, softly.

"Do you need to sleep?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"No. What I need right now is not sleep," he said, leaning in to capture her mouth again.

Jillian slipped her arms around his neck again.

"For that" she purred seductively, "we can stay right here."

(0)


	8. Chapter 8

**This is just before The Curse, season 4.**

**(0)**

"You're very quiet tonight," Jillian remarked.

She was seated on her couch with her laptop on the coffee table in front of her, helping Daniel organize his notes on the Unas society of P3X-888.

Daniel looked over at her from the matching chair. She had all her long hair carelessly caught in a ribbon. Small wisps rioted over her forehead and the pale, ivory column of her neck. In her eyes Daniel saw curiosity and the same hunger for knowledge that had stalked him all his life. Was that the reason, he wondered, that she fired all this longing in his soul?

"I've been thinking," Daniel answered.

His tone was deliberately gentle, but Jillian alerted to the subtle difference immediately. He saw her stiffen ever so slightly.

"About?" She asked in a hushed voice.

"Something I want to talk to you about and I'm not sure how to start," he admitted.

Daniel watched as she drew her legs up onto the couch, unconsciously curling up in a protective ball. He moved over onto the couch beside her. God, when it came to hearts hers was made of the same fragile dandelion fluff as his.

"It's okay," he said, "It's not about us. Well, not like what I think you're thinking anyway."

Some of the tension ran out of her and she smiled tentatively.

"Jill, in the last few months, since we've been together, I've barely managed to escape from Sokar, vanished out of phase and might never have been found. I was captured by an Unas. Jack got trapped on Eudora. He and Teal'c almost died in deep space. I've been shot at, chased…..Even before we got together, I've been presumed dead," He paused when he ran out of breath.

"That's why we get hazard pay isn't it?" she asked, trying to sound light and casual about it.

Jillian was still looking hesitant. Her eyes were shadowed like the forest. Her eyebrows knitted together in a way that furrowed her forehead.

"Jill," he waited until she looked at him, and then spoke in one long rush, as if he wanted to get it out before he could change his mind. "Listen. I know when we first got together you told me you had birth control covered and I _do_ believe you. But there isn't anything that's one hundred percent effective and the last thing I want to do is leave you with tough decisions and a fatherless child, so Ican participate if you want me to. It's not like I would mind. The alternative is…."

"_Daniel, stop_," she begged. "Stop. Please."

He broke off immediately at the pain-filled edge in her voice.

"What's wrong?"

To his horror, Jillian paused and wiped tears from her eyes with her fingertips.

"Daniel, I…. God, you're so sweet…I should have told you sooner. I…. can't have children."

A profound stillness settled over Daniel. Jillian was more wounded than he had ever imagined.

"Jill. Sweetheart. Are you sure?" He had gone instantly from being concerned about creating a problem for her, to simple concern for her, "I mean, doctors are wrong about this stuff all the time…"

"No, I'm sure," she paused and took a deep breath, "Ovarian cancer runs in my family. It took my grandmother, two of my aunts, three of my cousins and … it took my mother."

"Oh god," Daniel murmured, "Jill, we don't have to talk about this is you don't want to…"

"No, I want to," she said, hurriedly, "You're the first person I've ever talk to about it that might understand."

"Okay." He shifted closer to her in a slow, controlled movement, as if he was approaching a wounded deer.

"Have you ever watched someone die of cancer, Daniel?" Her profile was pure stone as she stared straight ahead, not seeing what lay before her but what she had once witnessed long ago.

He shook his head, filled with sorrow at his helplessness to change her past, or to save her from having to remember it now.

"My parents… died in an accident. They were killed instantly." Misery lurked in his eyes at the forced memory.

Jillian looked equally as haunted. "If you had to lose them, consider that a kindness. My mother died by inches, a little at time, before our eyes and there was _nothing _we could do to stop it; and after she was gone, I lost my father a little time too," she paused and rubbed the palms of her hand on her jeans. "When she died my grandmother told me she had become an angel and could still look down on me from heaven. I remember my father said my mother had already been an angel and I had never heard him sound so angry. We never talked about her again. Sometimes I think it would have been much better if they had died together. He was never the same after. My father was one more person I lost to that damned disease."

Daniel considered that for a moment. He had never thought about his parent's relationship. In truth, he still thought of them as mother and father, not as husband and wife. But even before he had been born, they had worked together as a team. In the days when women were fighting for equal rights, his mother had already been a respected archaeologist in her own right and his father's equal partner in life. He wondered now what one would have done without the other.

He realized his hands were shaking and clasped them firmly together, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward to look into Jillian's storm-tossed eyes.

"When I was twenty my cousin was diagnosed with it, in its advanced stages. Two years later she was gone. She was only eight years older than me," she paused and took a long shaking breath, "and that was when I made the decision to have a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. There were side effects at first and there are things in the future I will need to be aware of, but I'm fine now. I just….can 't have children; at least not my own."

He wasn't sure exactly what the long technical name of her surgery meant but he was sure that if she had wanted to give him details, she would have. Daniel was beginning to feel wretched for bringing any of this up, for making her relive it.

Jillian looked up at him with desolation in her eyes. She shivered and hugged herself.

"I should have told you sooner," she repeated, "I don't know if having children is important to you or not, but you deserved to know. When I made the decision to have the surgery, I knew that if I ever wanted a child the world has no shortage of them. I honestly wasn't thinking about being in a relationship with someone else or how it would affect him. All I knew, and all I still know, is that I could never make a child go through what I did when my mother was dying, or be forced to grow up without a mother at all."

Daniel's gaze became unfocused for a moment.

"I never thought about it, whether I want children," he murmured, finally, "I just know I agree with you. That's what started this whole conversation, not wanting a child to grow up without a father."

"So you aren't upset?" she asked, hopefully.

"No," he said, quickly and now he reached for her. She seemed much less brittle, much less likely to shatter in his arms or resist his embrace all together. "Come here."

Her arms slipped around his waist, her hands moving up to rest on his shoulders. She was shaking so he stroked her hair gently.

"You're all right," he whispered.

"You're not mad?"

"No, of course not! Why would I be mad?" he paused, "To be honest, and I'm going to hate how this sounds, but it's the truth, I'm relieved. Do you understand why?"

Jillian had her face resting on his chest at this point, seeking comfort.

"I do, even I feel that. I don't have to worry about going through a wormhole and wondering what it might be doing to someone else, someone helpless."

"Yeah," he nodded and kissed the top of her head, "For right now, given what we do, it's better if it's just the two of us."

Jillian looked up then, eyelashes still damp.

"And in the future?" she asked.

Gentle kisses, short and sweet, fell on her forehead, her eyelids and cheeks, ending finally at the corner of her mouth.

"We'll worry about the future when it gets here, okay?" He said, in between kisses, "We'll figure it out then."

Jillian turned towards him, curling up in a ball in Daniel's arms. They clung together like that in silence for a moment, two souls who had weathered the same storm.

"Let me take you out to dinner," Daniel suggested, gently.

"Out?"

"Yeah, somewhere nice, with china plates and silverware, something that didn't come in paper or cardboard or off a cafeteria tray." His fingers were making comforting swirls between her shoulder blades.

She smiled a little. "Are there such places?"

"There's one I know of," he admitted, "It has dinner _and_ dancing."

"_And _dancing? Where did you learn to dance?"

Jillian sat up to look into his eyes.

"When I was 12 or 13, I was moved to a foster home closer to the private school I was attending. My foster mother taught ballroom dancing. There were two other boys in the house at the time and she made sure we all learned how to dance. I think she thought we'd probably all ask someone to the prom eventually, or something like that."

"Did you?" Jillian asked. This was a much more pleasant memory and she let herself bask in his willingness to share it. She knew what Daniel was doing, what he was best at – talking to change a situation to his liking. He was distracting her, altering the mood. He was driving the demons of painful memories and harsher realities back into the dungeon from whence they had been summoned, with nothing more at his command than the soft cadence of his voice and his innate ability to read emotional responses.

Jillian loved him for it.

"Learn to dance?" he asked.

"Ask someone to the prom."

"Oh! No. No," his smile melted her, "I had graduated high school before then and moved to another foster home closer to the UCLA."

"So you have all these mad dancing skills that never get used?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that, but I won't embarrass you on a dance floor, if you want to risk it."

"I think my curiosity is piqued enough that now I have to see," she was smiling a little. The shadows in her eyes were lifting.

"I'm only doing this to get you back in that little black dress you wore the last time we went out," his dulcet voice hummed with something sultry.

"Well in that case," she said, giving him sultry right back, "Your black suit with that frosted blue shirt?"

Daniel lifted an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Please?"

He kissed her forehead again, barely brushing his lips against her skin. "Whatever you want."

He had just raked her soul over the coals of a painful memory. Right at the moment, he'd wear a clown costume if she asked him.

"So what else have you learned that you've never shared with me?" she asked.

"Well, let's see. I played baseball and basketball, and at one point ice hockey….."

"You played ice hockey?"

Daniel rolled his eyes and laughed, sky blue eyes dancing.

"Is it _that _hard to believe?"

"No!" she laughed with him, "I just can't see you taking that much time away from studying. I thought you were like me, too school for cool."

"I didn't say I played it well!" He protested," but that's what that family did on the weekends so I got dragged along. For a while I sat in the stands with some books and was cold; so I started skating to warm up and then …..Well, there was some harassment from the other kids, so I started playing. Mostly I got knocked down a lot."

Jillian nodded. That sounded like Daniel. He didn't back down from most challenges, if he noticed them in the first place. She wondered if that was where he developed his incredible skill at getting back up again.

He went on, in the same soothing matter of fact tone that was setting the world right again.

"Most of the families I wound up with were heavily into sports so I was a huge disappointment to them," he gave a self effacing little laugh.

"I know what you mean. Imagine the frustration of my private school teachers who were charged with turning me into a suitable upper middle class wife. Women's liberation hadn't quite caught on there," she smiled wryly, "It probably still hasn't."

Jillian took a long deep breath and let it out slowly. She felt infinitely better, and actually relieved, as if a dark cloud had been hovering over her relationship with Daniel and now it was gone.

Another storm weathered.

"Why don't you go get ready," Daniel began, "And I'll run home and change…."

"No," she cut him off quickly."No, I don't want you to leave. It's just a dress, some make up and heels. It won't take me long."

"I thought women were supposed to take forever to get ready."

"Five years in the SGC will pretty much cure you of that," she said, standing with the casual grace he had come to know. "Give me twenty minutes."

"Take all the time you need," he said, "I'm here."

Jillian's expression was so tender he almost couldn't look into her eyes. Her fingertips touched his cheek with the same reverence they both reserved for things over a thousand years old.

"I know you are," she said, and then vanished behind the bedroom door.

(0) 


	9. Chapter 9

**This section takes place during The Curse. It always bothered me that no one went to the funeral with Daniel. Sending Jillian to the funeral made keeping it canon problematic. I have them running late so that Jillian can be parking the car while Steven is being a jerk. It was that or figure out why she wasn't standing right next to Daniel and didn't ever try to scratch Steven's eyes out.**

**These are scenes that 'fill in the blanks' and one that ties things up. The Curse is one of those episodes that suffers from "abrupt-ending-itis", IMO.**

Jillian found Daniel in his office, sorting his organized clutter into piles. She paused in the doorway. Daniel never sorted anything unless he was planning to be gone. His brow was furrowed with concentration, his glasses riding so low she wondered how they didn't slide off completely.

"Daniel?"

He looked up, startled.

"You could teach stealth to a cat," he observed.

With a wry smile, she explained, "All those years of sneaking into the library at boarding school late at night."

She crept into the room the way one approached a wounded animal. Jack had sent her to find Daniel, without telling her what was wrong. She took a moment to study the faint trace of tension across his broad shoulders and the hard set of his jaw. When he looked up at her, quizzical of her scrutiny, a shadow lay across his pale blue eyes.

Something bad had happened; and Jillian's stomach muscles clenched. Daniel's reaction to whatever it was would once again define who _he_ was. Daniel had already made the decision twice not to sit in perpetual grief, immobilized by loss. Under the weight of unbearable sorrow he had already chosen to stand back up again and embrace life.

She wondered how many times a man could do that; and hoped that this particular thing was just bad and not something that would bring him to his knees.

God, how she loved him. In the space of a single breath, Jillian's heart soared just to be in his presence; and beat in sympathy for all the poor women on the base, including herself, who wanted to capture this exquisite man for themselves and never would.

She hugged her arms across her rib cage and said,

"Jack sent me to find you. He also said you would tell me what was going on. Are you all right?"

Daniel hesitated, poised and quivering like a bird about to take flight. Then he sank into his chair, tossed his wayward glasses on the desk and rubbed his eyes. Jillian went to stand behind him. She cautiously rested her hands on his shoulders and, when he didn't flinch, she began kneading out tension from his knotted muscles. The scent of sandalwood and cedar, clean linen, parchment and relics filled her head- a scent that mingled with coffee and became distinct, masculine. Daniel.

"Dr. Jordan died," he said, without preamble.

Jillian paused only briefly and then went back to working on those knots. This was the kind of emotional minefield Daniel desperately tried to avoid. Caution was advised.

"How?" she asked,"He can't have been that old."

"According to what I read, he was killed by an ancient Egyptian curse," Daniel's voice was laced with sarcasm.

"There was a great deal about ancient Egypt that _was_ cursed," Jillian pointed out.

Daniel exhaled in disgust. Egypt was one more passionate love the Goa'uld had taken from him. He turned the chair around to face her.

"I don't believe in ancient curses anymore than you do," he said, "There was a gas leak, an explosion….."

His voice trailed off and she touched his face sympathetically.

"What can I do?"

"Well, it's funny you should ask," he began slowly; "I'm going to Chicago, to the funeral service. It's the day after tomorrow. I was hoping you would go with me."

"To Chicago?"

"Yes," Daniel said, quickly before she could say anything else. "It's _out there." _ He cast his eyes at the ceiling but Jillian knew what he was really indicating – the world of earth bound archaeology, from which its Golden Boy had vanished five years ago and had not been seen since. It wasn't a place to which he could return easily.

"And worse," he went on, "it's _back _there. There's going to be a whole lot of my past I've been avoiding."

"You don't have to go," she ran her fingers through his hair gently.

"Yes, I do," he said, emphatically, "I successfully avoided my past for so long that now Dr. Jordan is gone and I won't ever have a chance to talk to him again. I have to go, Jillian. I would just rather you went with me. Wait…before you say yes, Sarah will be there."

"Sarah?" Jillian repeated her face blank until comprehension dawned, "Ah, Sarah is the name of the person you never made it to your three month anniversary with."

"Yeah, _that_ Sarah," he said, with a brief grimace, "She's been with Dr. Jordan all this time. She never left him."

For a moment his gaze was entirely inward as his thoughts drifted back to another time, another relationship.

"Do I have anything to worry about, from Sarah?" Jillian asked.

He was abruptly drawn back to the present, looking up at her with considerable alarm.

"God! No! Nothing. It was too long ago, too much has happened. We're… at least_, I'm_ a completely different person now… We just ended things badly. The last time I saw her she was furious with me…..."

The next thing he knew Jillian was kissing him; damming his mouth and stopping the flow of words that had become superfluous. The passion in her kiss flavored it with sweetness. The warmth and affection made it sacred. In that kiss there was no winter, no night.

The kiss ended but not the flow of emotion it had started.

"Of course I'll go," she said, "When do we leave?"

"In the morning. There's an Air Force plane out of Peterson to Denver, then a first class flight to Chicago; and I booked us a room at the Four Seasons."

"Us? You already booked twofirst class tickets and a room in a five star hotel before you asked me?"

"Did I do something wrong?" Words swarmed out of him like bees from a rattled hive, "I figured if you said no I was only out the cost of the plane ticket, I have to stay somewhere overnight in Chicago anyway and then if you did come with me I could at least offer you this nice room with a great view and dinner, room service maybe if you just wanted to stay in…."

Jillian cut him off with a breathless laugh, though her heat clenched at his uncertainty, "No! You didn't do anything wrong. I'm really glad you wanted to ask me."

She was wondering why no member of SG1 was available to go with Daniel; or maybe they had offered and he had declined. Whatever was going on, she had no further time to consider it. Daniel wrapped strong fingers around her wrist and pulled her into his lap. He wrapped her in a hug and his lips found hers in another silent kiss. He was one of the most articulate men Jillian had ever known, in multiple languages. But usually she found his feelings more eloquently expressed in this way – in an embrace, in a simple slow deep kiss, as if she was all the universe to him and more in that moment.

And for Jillian, if her feelings for Daniel had to be expressed in an embrace, she would have to hold him in her arms forever.

(0)

He was stalling and he knew it. Memories hovered over his soul like a thundercloud, waiting to burst.

He was standing at the sliding glass door of their hotel room, dressed and ready but for his suit jacket. That he had clutched in both hands as he stared out at the perfect autumn day. He wondered why it felt like it should be raining.

Jillian finished brushing her hair into a sleek, conservative pony tail. She was facing the mirror but unobtrusively watching Daniel's reflection. He looked like he was about to step into a maelstrom the rival of anything a wormhole had to offer.

She set the brush down on the dresser and joined him at the door.

"We're going to be late," she said, softly.

"I know," he agreed, but didn't sound like he cared.

"Daniel," Jillian began, but his next words cut her off.

"I was remembering the night before my parents died."

Jillian froze. That memory had always been walled off. Like her memories of her mother, it was a tearless grief that made the soul bleed internally. He had never spoken of it. If he wanted to now ….well then, they would just going to be that much later.

"What happened?" She offered him her willingness to listen and waited.

"My dad picked me up from school," Daniel went on. He was staring, unseeing, out the window. "He took me back to the museum. The place was in an uproar, with the new exhibit arriving. They took me to the office and I did my homework at the big desk, in my Dad's chair. I remember his jacket was hanging on the back of it. He always kept one there incase important visitors stopped by. Then after the museum closed there was a party for the staff, a celebration of the acquisition. There was food and everyone was so happy and excited, congratulating my parents. They let me stay up, way past bedtime, even though it was a school night. Then they took me upstairs to the office again. I remember I was so tired, and cold."

Jillian smiled to herself. Daniel thought it was cold if the temperature dipped below eighty. That much at least had not changed.

"My Mom put me on the big leather couch and put my Dad's jacket over me and tucked it all in around me. She left the door open and the hall light on and I fell asleep listening to their voices down in the foyer. Later I woke up in the back seat of the car. I could hear them talking, quietly so they wouldn't wake me. I fell back to sleep then, under my Dad's jacket."

Daniel paused finally and took a long shaky breath. "The next day everything changed. I think of it every time I put a suit on. That night, in my Dad's jacket, was the last time I remember feeling truly safe."

"Oh, Daniel," Jillian whispered. Sometimes she thought grief and sorrow knitted their hearts together more strongly than passion and joy. Black shadows beckoned from all sides, places in their past that sunlight had never touched. She ached with wanting to absorb all his sorrows into her body, to become one with him even in anguish.

Jillian slid her hand down his arm, to the hands that were still clenched around his suit jacket. She gently pried it loose and moved in front of him. Holding his gaze she draped it around his shoulders, drew it closed in front of him and used it to pull him close to her.

"Jillian," he said.

"Shhh."

She rested her forehead on Daniel's chest, breathing slowly. He was ramrod stiff, thrumming with tension.

_God, Daniel, _she thought fiercely, _I love you. I love you. _She fought to send the message into his body and into his heart, willing him to know and to understand, to _feel _what she was too afraid to say.

Cocooned in his jacket, he started breathing in rhythm with her at last.

"No one can hurt you without your permission, Daniel," she murmured softly. To herself she added, _and your heart is safe with me._

Grief was such a bitter lonely place and, for him, a labyrinth where it was too easy to become lost forever. Daniel hadn't meant to burden Jillian with his wanderings into that darkness. He shrugged into the sleeves of his jacket and let it settle on his arms and shoulders. Then he carefully cradled her face in both hands and kissed her. Their lips moved delicately together in a soft, gentle way, desperate with longing.

"He who conceals his grief finds no remedy for it – Persian proverb," Jillian said, when their lips finally parted. She nuzzled her cheek against his.

"Courage is being afraid and going on the journey anyhow – John Wayne," Daniel quipped, feeling better. "If we don't leave now, there won't be any point in going at all."

Jillian laughed softly, though his brave humor surprised her. She adjusted his tie and smoothed his jacket.

"You look wonderful," she said.

He reached for her hand and squeezed. He didn't want to leave the room. He wanted only to stay there forever and rebury the past. But unless life suddenly wanted to offer him a miracle, he didn't have that luxury.

He made a silent promise to himself to treat Jillian to a tour of the Field Museum, a wonderful dinner where he would listen to whatever she had to say and then later, back in this elegant room with the amazing view, to show her without words how much he loved her.

(0)

Daniel called Hammond and after he spoke to Hammond, he called Jillian.

"Daniel?" Caller ID had already informed her who it was.

"Where are you?" he asked, without preamble.

"In the hotel room. Where are you? I thought we were going out tonight?"

"Yeah," he drew the word out slowly, reluctantly. "About that… we need to go back to Colorado right away. Tonight."

"Colorado? Why?"

Hesitation. She could see the frown of concentration on his face without being able to see him in person.

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life." Her reply was instant and Daniel's heart throbbed.

"Then I need you to pack and get us checked out and meet me outside the hotel in an hour. I'll explain in the car. Dress comfortably. We have a long drive and a long flight."

The scientist in her was clamoring for immediate answers. Her instinct to trust Daniel won out.

"All right. I'll see you in an hour."

The connection clicked off immediately. Jillian stared at the phone for a moment and then closed it, holding it tightly in her palm.

"I love you," she said, out loud.

(0)

The car that was waiting wasn't exactly what she had expected. Somehow their airport rental had vanished and been replaced with a small limo – one that bore government plates. Daniel got out and held the door open for her, guiding her into the backseat with an anxious hand in the center of her back. The driver was hurriedly loading their bags into the trunk.

"Daniel, what's going on?" she asked, finding a seat on the plush leather. "Do I smell pizza?"

The door closed and Daniel sat down on the other seat, closed to her, his knee touching hers. She looked up from hunting for a seat belt to find him gazing at her and holding a single red rose. He was leaning forward, with studied casualness. A tenuous smile creased the corners of his lambent eyes. He reached out with one dexterous hand and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. Light flared on his arms, glinting on fine gold hair. His jaw meshed smoothly into the flexing muscles of his throat as he swallowed a few times – a sure sign that he was thinking of saying something and fighting it.

Jillian felt off balance again, snared in the net that was Daniel Jackson. She had told him she trusted him with her life. Truthfully, she trusted him far more with her heart.

Stunned and uncertain, she asked, "What is this?"

Daniel smiled ruefully.

"This…. Is my pathetic attempt to make up to you for canceling our evening. I really did have something wonderful planned."

Jillian glanced around as the limo pulled away from the hotel. There was a box of pizza and a bottle of red wine in a bucket of ice. His suit jacket and tie were tossed haphazardly on the opposite end of her seat. He had the sleeves of his gray shirt rolled up to his elbows.

"You mean this isn't what you had planned?" she asked.

"No," he laughed, shaking his head, "I was just hoping it would be a good substitute."

Jillian reached for the rose. She let her fingertips brush against his for a moment as she took it. Hot awareness of him flooded her.

"I had plans too," she said softly.

When her eyes met his, he looked miserably apologetic. Her slow sultry smile caught him off guard. Her voice was a husky whisper.

"I was planning to get you out of that suit….slowly…..one piece at a time. I didn't want to say anything before, but I have a ..a thing…for men in suits," she paused and her skin blushed the color of sunrise. Her slightly glazed eyes raked him from head to toe as she finished, "all those layers just waiting to be removed."

She was all but purring when she finished. Daniel forgot how to breathe for a moment. Ice and fire hit every part of his spine. His pulse launched into a thundering race through his veins.

At least now he had something completely different to think about when he put on a suit.

"I can put it back on," he said, quickly, only half-joking.

Jillian laughed, set the rose on the seat beside her and leaned towards him. Cupping the back of his neck she pulled him into a kiss. His lips met hers softly, with a small shaky sigh. In spite of the urgent events of the last few hours and the hot surge of desire, he met her with delicacy and let her explore his mouth with slow deliberation.

Sweetness flooded him. Jillian forgave him, if she had ever been angry to begin with. It didn't matter who he was to the world. It only mattered who he was to this woman

"Sun dresses," he said, when they finally parted.

"What?"

"I like girls in sun dresses. I like you in sun dresses, especially that pale blue one; and I like you in camp shorts and tank tops with your hair piled up and your glasses on," he paused and took a breath, then finished quickly before he changed his mind, "And I really like that when I get you out of your sun dresses and shorts, everything you have on under them makes you look like a Victoria's Secret model."

Jillian laughed, but also blushed a dazzling shade of coral; and all he wanted at the moment was that smile. He fought down the mad desire to ravish her in the back seat of the limo.

For the next hour or so, they ate pizza and drank wine and Daniel listened intently as she told him everything she had done that afternoon. In a little while he was going to have to tell her what he had discovered, and what was in the locked case tucked under the seat; and that he had absconded with a priceless artifact the Egyptian government was expecting to have returned in a few days. In a little while, he was going to have to tell her what he thought was inside the Coptic jar with the Goa'uld writing on it. He was hoping he could wait until they were in the air.

But he doubted it. Jillian's cat-like curiosity was going to start demanding answers. He had seen the look on her face when they passed the sign that said _Welcome to Indiana._ He had been so content just to watch her, especially as the sun had set. Streamers of crimson and gold had come through the tinted glass just enough to light her as if she burned with some eternal inner fire. She was lovely. Luminous. Stunning. Breathtaking enough to make him forget just exactly why they were in a government car crossing state lines instead of in a carriage in down town Chicago. If she had chosen to be a model instead of an archaeologist she would have owned every magazine cover in the world.

He was so busy just watching her that it took him a moment to realize she had asked him a question.

"What?" he said startled out of his contemplation.

He looked directly at her and was immediately pinned by jewel-bright eyes. They melted him the way the sun melted snow.

"I asked you when you're going to tell me why we're crossing state lines in a government limo; and why we're going east when you said we were going back to Colorado."

"We _are_ going back to Colorado. There's an Air Force cargo plane waiting for us at Grissom, which is the closest base to Chicago, even though it's in Indiana."

"We had tickets on a first class flight out of O'Hare for tomorrow afternoon," she pointed out, "Now we're taking a cargo plane, out of an Air Force base?"

"Yes," he said shortly.

"Why?"

"There's no airport security at Grissom. The driver will take us straight to the plane."

Jillian's eyebrows lifted. That had Hammond's fingerprints all over it.

"Daniel, what did you do? Are we in danger?"

"Not at the moment."

"You said you would explain all this in the car," she reminded him gently.

Daniel sighed. He settled deep into the back seat, rested his head and stared at the ceiling. Outside of the car, dusk was quickly fading into darkness. Remembering the driver on the other side of the glass he said,

"I think this might be a good time for you to practice Ancient?"

"God, Daniel," she murmured, shaking her head, "Okay, but slowly."

Slowly, very slowly, Daniel used an obscure lost language to tell her what had happened from the time she had left him with Sarah until he had called and told her to check out of the hotel. In precise, scientific formula he laid out his evidence and his hypothesis, burying emotion in the familiarity of science.

He told her about the Isis jar and what it said and, more importantly, _where_ it currently was (causing her to shoot a look of undisguised horror at the locked case on the floor.) He told her about the email, and Steven and the amulet.

When he was finished the look in his eyes could have devoured shadows. A shudder of apprehension rippled down Jillian's spine. Not knowing what else to do, she moved to sit down on the seat beside him and offered him the comfort of an embrace. She knew him well enough to know that a silent hug meant more to him in times of stress than all the words in the world.

Her arms went around his chest, her hands molded to his shoulders, pulling him against her body. Daniel resisted for a moment, but only for a moment. He took a slow breath and hid his face against her shoulder.

When he laughed, Jillian always laughed with him. When he was hurt, or wary or angry, she was there for him.

Uncertainty lay in the very near future, but right now, there was only Jillian. Daniel leaned back to look into her eyes, cupped the back of her head and kissed her.

Maybe ravishing her in the backseat of a limo wasn't such a bad idea afterall.

(0)

Afterward….

Samantha went to Daniel's office but found only Jillian.

"Have you seen Daniel?" she asked.

Jillian took off her glasses and regarded Sam sadly.

"He went home, a few hours ago."

"Alone?" Sam couldn't quite keep the alarm out of her voice.

"He needs to be alone right now. We both know that," Jillian said, "I offered to go with him, but…." She stopped talking and finished with an eloquent lift of one shoulder.

"He needs to go brood in a dark corner," Sam acknowledged.

Jillian nodded and they shared a meaningful look. It was typically Daniel. He would dig a hole and fill it with all the distraught contents of his shattered soul, where it would never see the light day again. Then he would emerge determined to find Sarah and that determination was all the emotion they would ever see.

"You're worried about him," Sam said.

"As are we all."

Sam and Jillian both jumped. Looking up they found Teal'c blocking out the doorway.

"Teal'c!" This time Sam's voice was full of undisguised joy. "You're back! Is the Colonel with you?"

"I am," Teal'c acknowledged as he stepped out of the way to let O'Neill enter. "And he is."

"All right, where is he?" Jack demanded, without even so much as a hello.

"He went home," Jillian explained again.

"When?"

Jillian glanced at the clock on the computer screen, even though she knew exactly how long. She had measured out his absence with every lonely beat of her heart.

"Five and half hours ago," she said.

"Okay, that's long enough. Way long enough. Saddle up, kids. Time to ride over to the condo."

"Jack!" Jillian protested, "Daniel said he wanted to be alone."

"Of course he did, and he's been alone – long enough. We're all going over there, right now."

Jack's eyes were stony. His determination in this was obvious. They were all about to be swept up in the blazing ferocity of Jack O'Neill's mind and will.

"He's pretty torn up," Jillian said weakly, "about Sarah."

"I know. Hammond just told us everything. Look Jillian, nothing has happened to Daniel that some pizza and a few beers won't get out of him."

"Daniel doesn't like beer," she observed.

"Ah! Daniel can't handle beer, which is why it won't take very long to get him talking," Jack sounded not only determined but triumphant. Jillian knew Jack could be subtle. At one point in his life he had been one of the military's top behind the lines operatives. But mostly he didn't do 'finesse'. Mostly he forged ahead like a buffalo stampede. "Trust me. I've been here with him. He's had enough 'alone time.'"

Jillian studied Jack and wondered what O'Neill _wasn't _saying.

Was the thought of Daniel alone in his condo in the throes of who-knows-what-kind-of –grief just too much? Jillian dared to look Jack in the eyes, past the shadows and dark mysterious depths and saw the truth.

She swallowed hard.

Maybe he was right. Maybe Daniel had been alone long enough. She nodded and O'Neill clapped his hands together with satisfaction, making her jump.

"Good. Carter, you and Jillian can stop and get the pizza. Teal'c and I will get the six packs. If we're taking bets, I give it three beers before he starts talking."

"He won't tell us everything," Jillian warned.

"No," Jack admitted slowly, "But he'll talk about her. He'll tell us _something; _and he won't be alone._"_

Jillian nodded. Daniel probably would talk to them eventually, and that way at least everything wouldn't be buried and he'd know his team had been there to listen.

They filed out of the room in obedient order behind O'Neill. No one thought to question him.

"We'll take my car," Sam said to Jillian, "I don't mind driving and besides," Sam paused and gave Jillian a saucy look, "you'll probably be the only one spending the night."

In the end it took five beers (winning the bet for Teal'c) before Daniel started talking.

But he _did _start.

And surrounded by the people who knew him best and loved him anyway, it took him a long time to stop.

(0)


	10. Chapter 10

**This precedes Serpent's Venom. Jillian and Daniel say good bye just before he leaves, in their own special way.**

**I want to thank one of my employees who speaks Mandarin and was kind enough to translate the phrases I asked her for and never once asked me what I needed them for.**

**(0)**

Daniel was looking so intently at the books jammed into the shelves in his office that he was unaware of Jillian standing in the doorway watching him. She let her eyes roam leisurely from his tousled hair down his back. His spine slid down from broad shoulders into slim taut hips with strength and beauty and wicked attraction. Something stirred in her blood in response.

Jillian found Daniel sinfully enticing, though none of the reasons she loved him had anything to do with what could be seen in the mirror. That fact that his bright beautiful soul was encased in masculine appeal was just a bonus.

"Can I help you find something?" she asked.

Daniel jumped, startled, and Jillian wondered how he ever survived out there among the Goa'uld when he could get so intensely caught up in the mundane.

"When did you get back?" he asked.

"Over an hour ago. Didn't you hear the Gate?"

Jillian joined him at the bookcase and he pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"I did, but I wasn't expecting it to be you. SG8 just left this morning. You've only been gone a few hours. What happened?" Daniel inspected her anxiously. His fingers on her hip pulled her closer.

"I'm fine. Scotty broke his wrist and Mallory is nursing some broken ribs though."

Anxiety flared higher in his eyes.

"Jillian," his voice held a warning that she better tell him, and she better tell him now.

"There was a rock slide. The hillside above the dig site gave away. The site is fine!" She held up a hand to stave off his questions. "We didn't lose anything. What are you looking for?"

Daniel's gaze swept her one more time, ending with his blue eyes fixed on her face. For that single moment there was nothing complicated between. They knew the dangers associated with any archaeological dig, and certainly those were many times greater when the dig was on another planet.

"Are you really all right?" he asked.

Jillian had discovered that she couldn't keep anything from him when he was looking her right in the eyes.

Perhaps they were falling in love simply because the other could be lost so easily.

"I was scared. It happened so suddenly."

Daniel pulled her against his chest to cradle her in both arms, bringing her head to find safe rest in the curve of his shoulder. Jillian drew one shivering breath and tried banishing the memory Scotty disappearing in a hail of rocks and dust. She closed her eyes briefly and felt tears prick against her eyelids and hated herself for the weakness.

Instinctively Daniel held her closer, offering her comfort and soft kisses against her forehead and temple. Jillian sighed. God, he was so broad and strong and impossibly handsome even in something as plain as his green camo BDU.

"You're all safe now," he said, calmly.

She nodded, her hair rustling against his shirt. She put her hands on his forearms. Daniel stroked her back gently and she wondered if he knew how much his quiet touch was stirring the waves of pleasure spreading in her body, distracting her, making her want him more than she wanted her next breath.

"And on stand down for a while," she said, ruefully, hoping he misunderstood the catch in her voice, "though I'm hoping the General lets me go back just as the archaeological consultant."

Daniel let go of her with great reluctance. He liked the way she felt in his arms, lean and firm, somehow strong and delicate at the same time. He remembered how she had looked that morning in his kitchen, making coffee while wearing nothing but an irresistible burgundy camisole and matching panties.

She had seemed to weigh almost nothing when he swept her up in his arms and carried her back to the bedroom, coffee abandoned in favor of kisses and slow erotic intimacy.

That had only been six hours ago. A lot had happened in those hours, but having her back and seeing her again had something burning under his skin like a sudden fever. To cover his mounting desire he spoke quickly,

"In the meantime you can help me find everything in here that has anything to do with the Phoenicians."

She looked up, puzzled.

"Why?"

Daniel's hesitation was obvious. He wanted her help, but right now was probably not the time to tell her about his upcoming mission; or how dangerous it was likely to be. He and Jillian could never really give each other the future. They could only ever give each other _now._

"It's just something I need," he hedged.

"You already have _Beck's Ancient Phoenician Symbolisms._ What else could you want on the subject besides that?"

"Oh, in this case anything would be helpful," he said.

"In what case?"

Daniel felt a rush that was both frustration and joy. Her curious green cats-eyes were watching him suspiciously. She was just as quick as he was to want answers and to see when someone was trying to hide something.

"I'll tell you later," he promised.

He moved to the desk to add _Phoenicians in History and Legend_ to the growing pile of books.

Jillian got between him and the desk and caught his wrists in her hands.

"Tell me now," she urged.

Daniel found himself pressed up against her, confronted by her frank, passionate gaze.

"I can't, Jill," he said.

Jillian searched his face and found only vulnerability and desire. Her heart broke for a moment and swallowed all her curiosity and better judgment. She stroked one hand over his hair, tickling the ends of it where it lay behind his ear. She reached up and drew him down into a kiss. Her fingertips brushed the back of his neck, firing sensations that made him gasp against her mouth.

Hot longing washed over them both. Daniel pressed forward, pushing her onto the desk, moving between her knees as they melted apart. Her hands strayed from his neck to his shoulders and down to the resilient bare flesh of his forearms.

It seemed impossible that it had only been hours since they had last been in each other's embrace. Daniel groaned again as his hands molded to her back and crushed her breasts against his chest.

He broke off abruptly, moving away if only by inches to put some distance between them.

"We can't do this here," he said, voice shaking.

A mischievous seductive smile teased at her mouth.

"Why not?" she asked, "You can't tell me you haven't thought about it."

"About what?" he asked, though he knew exactly 'what'.

She arched forward, brushing her hips against his. "Making love in your office, here, like we did in your office at the condo that time."

Daniel groaned again and kissed her._ That _was a memory he really shouldn't conjure if he was trying to control the heat pooling at the top of his thighs: Jillian opened and surrendered to him, across the top of his desk, convulsing in pleasure over and over and over against his mouth…

"We _can't_, Jill," he insisted, "It's bad enough we're at work much less…."

"Hey," she purred, brushing her fingertips against his inner thigh. "I'm on stand down. I've got hours. We could practice the Taoist massage techniques I've been teaching you."

Fire exploded in his groin. _God in heaven,_ the last time they had done that he had blacked out. But when he had finally come to, he had been filled with a kind of euphoric energy and sense of connection he had never before experienced.

Then she had shown him how to do the same thing for her and life had _never _been the same again; reality shattered, as if they had gone flying into heaven together.

But this was far beyond physical need. Those needs, and more, had been satisfied in the early morning hours before they had come to the SGC and she had vanished through the event horizon. This was a craving to be with her one more time before he went off to do something incredibly stupid and incredibly dangerous; a reminder to himself of why he needed to be careful, of what he had waiting for him.

"Don't you have books in your quarters?" she murmured, kissing and nipping at the skin above his collar.

Distracted by the need to finish packing and the need to control his desire to push Jillian backwards onto the desk, Daniel didn't immediately focus on what she was saying.

"What?"

""The books in your quarters, there might be one you could use," she suggested.

Daniel traced his fingers down her spine and urged her forward again, tightly, hip to hip. She shivered and molded her body to his like puzzle pieces. _God Daniel – _tall, and solid and warm as the sun. It was enough to make her lose her own train of thought.

His voice muzzy and distracted he nuzzled against her neck and said,

"I don't think there's anything in my room that I would need for this mission."

"I still think you should check," she murmured, "And when you don't come right back I can go look for you."

Even blinded by desire, Daniel had enough functioning brain cells to realize what she was saying. It wouldn't do for them to go hurrying through the halls of the SGC, flushed and anxious as teenagers. But they had also worked themselves into a state they had to address, one way or the other. It wouldn't look odd at all if Daniel went to his own room, alone; and Jillian joining him there was common enough for no one to notice.

Only the promise of what waited for them in his room gave Daniel the strength to step back from her. He still moved in for one more kiss.

"Don't be too long," he urged; and then vanished out the door.

Everyone knew that SG1 was in the middle of getting ready for 'something big'. So Daniel hurrying through the halls and bouncing on his heels at the elevator door was nothing remarkable. He ducked into his room and closed the door and then simply stood there breathing heavily for a moment.

Okay, now what? There actually _were _books in his room, but he knew none of them were what he needed for this insane mission to reprogram a bomb. There were other things he did need though so he went searching for them to keep from going crazy waiting.

His dog tags he found tossed on the night stand. He was supposed to wear them, all the time, but considered that more of a suggestion. His watch was on the top of the dresser.

He turned when he heard the door opening. The moment he saw her desire shook him from head to toe, passing in hot rolling waves through his body and flooding him with desperate longing. Stunned by the intensity, Daniel dropped his watch on the floor. His hands shaking, he managed to carefully remove his glasses and place them on the dresser.

Jillian stood as if she had been turned to stone, gazing at him with fire burning in the depths of her forest dark eyes; too frozen by passion to even shut the door.

Wrenching his shirt over his head as he moved, Daniel strode across the carpet. He swept her against him with one hand as the other reached behind her to slam and lock the door. He backed her up until she was trapped between his hard body and the door. He bent his head and kissed her, consumed her.

A glorious, painful fall of emotions cascaded through her heart as he kissed her. Overwhelmed, tears filled Jillian's eyes as she met his kiss; the tender velvet of his tongue, the sweet fierceness of his mouth. A whisper of those tears fell on Daniel's cheek and he broke off instantly.

"What?" Concern flooded his features. He eased back so that she wasn't quite so trapped against the door.

"Oh god, Daniel, _please, _don't stop," she moaned.

Her hands found his belt as he kissed tears away from her eyelashes, his lips a gentle seduction on her cheekbones and temple. He offered her the gesture as an olive branch or a benediction for whatever had caused her eyes to well up _before_ they even got started on anything serious. Jillian's heart skipped for a moment.

_Daniel. Daniel. Sometimes still so uncertain, even when she was eager and willing and he was quivering within her._

Jillian slipped out of his arms suddenly and knelt. Daniel inhaled sharply. Her face was level with his rather remarkable erection but she ignored it to unlace his boots. He kicked them off as she stood again, along with the rest of his clothes. She pulled off her own shirt in one smooth fluid motion while she kicked off her non-regulation sneakers.

Pants quickly followed and Daniel was torn between dragging her back to press the hard length of him against her and holding her back just to look at her.

Because, _sweet heavenly gods, _she was beautiful. Hiding her in that awful olive drab BDU should be a criminal offense. He reached for her mindlessly, plucking at purple satin and lace until it was forgotten on the floor. There was nothing between them now but frantic flames that licked and flared wherever skin met skin. She was all silk and lace and firm, soft flesh under his hands, leaning forward, trusting his touch; craving his touch.

Her hands slid over his chest as if she had been famished for him, as if days had passed since the last time she touched him instead of a scant few hours. Trembling fingers moved over his shoulders and collarbone, over the muscles hard beneath his skin. She pressed her lips against the base of his throat and felt his pulse flutter.

Daniel's breathing hitched and skittered as she reached lower and began to stroke him until he was hot satin over steel. Beneath her fingers blood pooled and stirred him into scorching urgency. Her other hand cupped his neck, pulled him into a kiss.

"Oh god, baby, you're so _hard,"_ she murmured against his mouth. Her voice was rich with anticipation and appreciation.

"That's what you do to me," he choked, his breath leaving him in a scalded gasp.

He had to put one hand on the door to steady himself, eyes closed as she worked him into a frantic desire to please her.

"_Jillian_," he whispered, and then slipped into another language altogether, as if some things were easier to say if they weren't in English, "_Wŏ de tiān a, băobĕi. __Mănyì_."

"_Daniel, __xīnshàng rén, __jīngcǎi __nánrén_**, **_yìng de__hé__qiángjiàn de__."_

Daniel was trying not to move, holding his hips still even though he longed to thrust forward.

"_Jillian, __mĕilì de__fùnŭ_**, **_wǒ de mā, __mănyì_."

His fingers traced over her skin and felt it shiver and burn under his touch. Stifling a sob of pleasure he bent forward to kiss her shoulder and neck. Her breathing was slow and shallow, making her breasts rise and fall against his chest.

"_Rè'ài__wŏ_**, **_băobĕi," _ she begged.

For the second time that day, Daniel swept her up in his arms and carried her to bed. Jillian closed her eyes as her head hit the pillow, his hand behind it, his fingers in her hair. His body was stretched the length of hers, leaning over it, hotter than the sun. Hot shivers raced down her spine. She rested against him, throbbing, honeyed, hot and aching.

Daniel trailed small kisses over her shoulder and up her neck, teasing behind her earlobe. He inhaled the heat and lavender rising from her while his hands strayed over lovely female curves, taunting and teasing and exploring. She turned and flung one leg over his hip.

Daniel kissed her body, savored her, taking and giving. Jillian moaned and whimpered, clutching the sheets, his shoulders, writhing. He suckled her warm apricot-soft skin with exquisite restraint, and then tantalized her with little flicks of his tongue and fingers.

"_Wǒ de mā, Daniel," _she begged again, helpless, arching up into his touch, "_Xiànzài,__mănyì__, __mănyì__."_

For a split second it seemed that he wanted to draw this out further, to make it last longer. She felt his hesitation and then he was urging her onto her back, sliding between her legs. Melted, hot and lovely, she opened for him, every piece of her craving his brightness.

Blind with need, intellect silenced, in one flawless slide he brought them together. They moved together like twin suns in orbit, like dancers. They moved in the endless rhythm of life, moving away and coming back together, never breaking wholly apart.

Her climax caught him off guard. One moment she was with him entirely and the next she had tumbled off some great height, crying his name and clinging to him, her face buried in his neck and shoulder. She pulsed around him, frantically, crying out as if she had been stricken to the heart.

Daniel ground his teeth together and fought for control. The great advantage of being a woman, he now knew, was that there could always be more; and he intended to give it to her. He stayed with her as she floated back to earth, moving just enough to satisfy his urgent need to do so.

He slid his hands into her hair and lifted her face so that he looked directly into her eyes. His own eyes shone – ocean wild with passion. Her green eyes were filled with power that excited him and sincerity that soothed him. Daniel pushed forward slowly until he was flush inside her and then began to rock his hips slowly. Her eyes fluttered closed. Her smile was slow, sexy and sublime.

"_Gèngduō de_?" he asked, kissing her eyelids.

"_Shi_, _shi __mănyì__." _Jillian whispered. Her voice was smokey.

She quivered and let his quiet caress recreate the waves of pleasure. Daniel wanted to give her the world, a time together that might have to last her a lifetime. She was helpless with bliss, refusing him nothing, matching him passion for passion, thrust for thrust, word for word. His mouth found hers again. She convulsed again in pure ecstasy and this time she dragged him with her.

Scorched, Daniel thrust hard and cried out. His climax hit him like thunder sundering a summer sky. Strong tremors obliterated his awareness. Aftershocks had him gasping for breath. His head dropped to her shoulder and rested there. His arms held her still cradled against his chest.

Slowly, slowly, the world came back into focus. Daniel rolled onto his side and carried her with him. Warm, soft and languorous she curled up into the curve of his body. He smoothed her hair behind her ear and then ran his hand fluidly down her spine, over the curve of her hip, drawing her close to him.

He cradled her in his embrace, both of them buoyant and incandescent, sated.

"_Wŏ de__Shàngdì__," _he panted.

"Daniel?"

"Hmmm?"

Her hand came to light on his chest, softly.

"You'll be careful, won't you?"

The words came out quietly, so quietly he almost didn't hear them. Daniel flinched as if they had struck him physically. She knew somehow that wherever he was going, it was different. With all the wariness he would have used sneaking up on a Goa'uld stronghold, Daniel shifted so that he could look into her eyes. They were wide and dark green and held a demand for his promise that he couldn't deny.

He kissed her forehead.

"Of course," he whispered.

Jillian rested her head in the hollow of his shoulder and said,

"_Hăo de."_

(0)


	11. Chapter 11

**This is just after Jack leaves to get Maybourne in Chain Reaction.**

Daniel knew the moment he saw Jillian framed in the doorway of his office that something was wrong. Her expression was drawn and miserable. Her arms were folded tightly. Trepidation trickled like melting ice down his spine.

"What?" he asked, sitting forward in the chair at the desk; as if _more _could possibly be wrong at the moment, with Hammond gone and some war monger crouching in that office as if he had a right to be there.

"I've been permanently removed from SG8," she said, flatly.

On top of the pile of paperwork he had been struggling through, Daniel's hand curled into a fist. He muttered a long, slow string of multilingual curses. The look he aimed at the floor was incendiary.

"What did Mallory say?" he asked, when he finished.

Jillian unfolded her arms and walked slowly into the room, as if her feet hurt.

"Pretty much the same thing you just did, only in English, and louder," she answered.

Daniel ducked his head sheepishly and looked chastised.

"Sorry," he said.

Jillian shrugged. "Hey, I spent the last four years traveling off world with a bunch of career military men who stopped worrying about me being a female civilian after about fifteen minutes. It's not like I haven't heard it all."

"You shouldn't have to hear it from me though," he said.

"It's okay." She shrugged again, "Nice segue from Japanese to Mandarin, by the way."

Daniel grinned a bit, the first attempt at a smile he had felt like in days. "I thought so."

When she was close enough to him he reached out, took her hand and looked up into her eyes. Her extraordinary lashes were sticking together, ringing her eyes in tiny spikes, and traces of tears shattered their brightness. She was holding her bodily stiffly, as if it was made of glass.

_Damn._ She was more upset about this than she was letting on. Daniel stood up and swept her into his arms, lifting her several inches off the floor in the process. Jillian wrapped her arms around his neck, arms resting on his broad shoulders, fingers in his hair, and pressed her forehead to his, eyes closed. _God_, his arms were so strong.

"You still have the mountain bikes in the back of the truck?" he asked.

She opened her eyes and looked straight into his – winter sky blue and full of brilliance behind his glasses.

"Yes," she nodded, lips brushing lightly against his.

"Then let's get out of here," he said, setting her gently back on her feet, "unless you're really in the mood to finish cataloguing the armor from 5643?"

"No, that can definitely wait," she answered.

(0)

In an effort to find a hobby they could both share – something that would help them stay in shape and burn off some of their excess energy – Daniel and Jillian had tried mountain biking. NORAD backed up to Cheyenne Mountain State park, which boasted twenty miles of hiking and biking trails. Since Daniel and Jillian agreed they got enough hiking every time they stepped through the Star Gate, they bought mountain bikes.

Jillian had started keeping the bikes under the camper shell of her pickup – a dual cab, short-bed, flare-side that the Ford Company claimed was "iris" colored and Daniel insisted was pink. Since they usually spent free time together now at one condo or the other, the truck was always in the parking lot.

They drove the truck to the trailhead parking lot and loaded the bike packs with supplies. Thrumming with excess energy and a need to be gone as long as possible, they decided to hit the Talon North overlook. This meant taking Boulder Run to Coyote Loop and then a section of Zook Loop until finally picking up Talon. Daniel wasn't even remotely surprised when Jillian took a minor detour onto Little Bear Trail. There was a colony of prairie dogs living by that trail and Jillian was utterly enchanted with them. She even had a picture of them as her laptop wallpaper and she ordered something called "monkey chow" off the internet so that she could feed them – even though feeding them was strictly forbidden according to multiple signs posted all over the colony.

Daniel was pretty sure she had brought more of the monkey chow pellets for the prairie dogs this time than she had granola bars for herself. He leaned over the handle bars of his bike, sipping water from the bottle that was designed to hang from the frame and watched indulgently as she tossed pellets to the mini-critters.

"One of these days you're going to get bitten," Daniel said.

Jillian lobbed a pellet to a group less than four feet away and grinned at him.

"Then it will be my own fault," she said, "They're just so cute."

"And I suppose you'll expect me to hold your hand through the long series of rabies shots you'll need, "he teased, "as well as having to listen to Janet lecturing you about it."

Jillian dusted the leftover chow crumbs off her hands and onto her jeans and laughed.

"God, that would be worse than the shots," she said.

They finished the climb to the Talon North overlook in efficient enough time that Daniel thought even O'Neill would have been impressed. Jack had pushed Daniel – physically and mentally – into his current shape. Sometimes shouting, sometimes cajoling, pleading, rarely with anything that resembled encouragement, Jack hadn't let up on Daniel until he knew the archaeologist could keep them – and himself – safe out there. Every once in a while, Daniel would get a grunt that sounded like approval. For Jack O'Neill that grunt was the equivalent of high praise and a big hug.

In the beginning Daniel had tolerated the abuse because he knew Jack was right – and he had done it for Sha're. Everything had been for Sha're. It he had needed to morph from an archaeologist with horrible allergies and poor eye sight into a fighting fit member of a military unit to find her, then that was what he would do. He'd climb the damn rock wall one more time, run the extra mile and – god help him – shoot at the outline of a human being until he could hit it with deadly accuracy. He could take a gun apart and put it back together blindfolded at this point. He'd learned to withstand unbearable conditions and even torture. He'd gone to work as a civilian consultant for a branch of the US military.

And it had all been for Sha're.

But eventually all his hard work had been for his team, for Earth, and for the eradication of the Goa'uld; sometimes it was even for himself when suddenly confronted with the archaeological find of a lifetime.

And now it was for Jillian too.

The vista spread before them was washed in the splendor of the early Colorado autumn. The air held a hint of the winter that was coming and Daniel shivered at the thought. Not only did he work for the military, he worked in a place where three of the seasons seemed to be winter. How had _that_ happened exactly, he wondered.

They were seated in the grass, quietly enjoying the view. As a cloud rolled away from the sun and flooded the area with brilliant light, Daniel pulled his knees up to his chest, drank more water and chewed slowly on a granola bar.

"I forget how pretty it is up here, when we don't come for a while," Jillian said, suddenly.

Daniel's allowed one long, slow gaze to roam over her lovely face and form. The sun rimmed her in gold highlights.

"It's always the second best view for me," he answered.

Jillian glanced at him and saw the intensity of the look he returned. She blushed several remarkable shades of peach and gold and he laughed softly. After all they had done to each other, she was still easy to embarrass. Jillian was also easy to argue with, since most of their disagreements were over scientific hypothesis and they were both too professional to take it personally. She could bring him to tears with laughter, inspiring playful wrestling matches and pillow fights that always ended with their bodies entwined, her lips petal-soft and moist against his, like a rose after the rain.

And she was easy to talk to. He had been lucky to find someone already working at the SGC. He could tell Jillian _anything_; and he did, knowing it was kept just as securely in the deepest recesses of her heart as it had been in his.

Right at the moment he felt an almost unbearable, and uncharacteristic, need to talk; not about something scientific, not hypothesis or theory or something that had been found on a planet light years away. He needed to talk about things normally closed off.

"When I went on the first Abydos mission," he began slowly, "I suddenly had a whole new relationship with reality. Not many scientists get to see their hypothesis proven in quite such a spectacular way."

He saw her get a look on her face that was by now very familiar – the one that told him he had her full attention and that she knew he was offering her something sacred. She shifted to face him a little more.

Daniel continued, staring out at the view but unseeing, "Then there was Sha're, and another entirely different reality; one I wanted very much, one I wanted to stay in forever. Staying on Abydos wasn't even a choice. It was just something so obvious."

He cast Jillian a sidelong glance, hesitant, uncertain if that was something he should admit to his current lover. How much could he really say about the life he had forged with another woman on a faraway planet; a life built mostly on their impossible cultural differences and their whole hearted desire to overcome them?

But Jillian just put her hand on his arm and said,

"You were married, Daniel, to someone you loved very much. It's kind of ridiculous for us to pretend otherwise, don't you think? You can tell me about it; about her. Do you think I wouldn't give all that back to you if I could? Every member of the SCG wanted you to find her and bring her back."

"Even you?"

"Even me," she whispered.

Relief swamped Daniel briefly but he managed to choke it down. He closed his eyes, as if to hide sudden tears; though his eyes were dry when he opened them again. He gave her a hesitant, tremulous smile and put his hand over hers, squeezing lightly. He had no idea how much that smile, and the brief flash of pain in his eyes just before they had closed, had threatened to break her heart.

"Then, that changed too," he said sadly, "I had taken it so much for granted. I had assumed that it would last forever and it didn't. Sha're was taken and my reality changed again. It became the SGC and SG1 ….. and now that's changing …. again."

Jillian nodded. He kept talking, as if now he spoke for both of them.

"The SGC was a place I was proud work, not just a place that let me explore beyond my wildest dreams. I never thought I'd be able to say that about a military organization but there was one very simple reason."

"Integrity first, service before self, and excellence is all we do," Jillian quoted the Air Force core values softly. "Hammond embodies that, lives it with every breath he takes."

Daniel gazed at her.

"And drags it out of every person who works for him," he observed.

"He never had to drag it out of you," Jillian answered, "You both vibrate on the same wavelength though you have a freedom to show your feelings for the people you work with that he didn't."

"He once called me 'a dear friend' when he didn't know I could hear him," Daniel's voice was getting misty.

"No one comes close," Jillian whispered the unofficial Air Force motto.

Daniel's mood shifted like quicksilver. Jillian felt it as much as she saw it in the hard line of his mouth and the sudden defiant set of his shoulders.

"Now we have this new guy… I'm not sure about this, Jillian. I'm not sure I can deal with this change; not this time."

"We still have Jack," she pointed out.

An expression Jillian didn't quite understand flickered across his features.

Jack . Daniel. They were like binary stars, each burning with his own individual fire but somehow caught in the other's orbit. No matter how crazy one drove the other, they counted on each other. Jack might drive Daniel up a wall; but at the same time Daniel trusted Jack to defy the planets in their alignment to do what he thought was right.

"Do we?" Daniel asked, "Bauer's been here for five minutes and SG1 is history and Jack's on 'vacation'. When was the last vacation you remember Jack taking?"

"He does go fishing a lot," Jillian replied.

"When one of us hurt and the whole team's on stand down."

"You just said SG1 doesn't even exist any more, not like it was! He doesn't have to worry about you getting hurt at the moment. Well, except for Teal'c, and Sam if that bomb goes off at the wrong moment…" Jillian let her voice trail off and paused to fix the scrunchie holding her ponytail, as if she needed something else to do for a moment.

"Yeah," Daniel said bitterly, "and I could get a paper cut."

"Dan," she said, sympathetically.

He flashed a look that revealed the anger he was suppressing. Jillian wanted desperately to hold him, to kiss him and then take him back to her condo and burn away the rest of the day into the night.

"Dan," she repeated, and then waited until she had his full attention,"I don't think Jack is fishing this time."

Something secretive ghosted across his face and made her senses tingle.

"No," Daniel said, slowly, "he's not."

"You've talked to him," Jillian guessed.

"Once or twice," he admitted, "Okay, three times."

"Washington, D.C. Teal'c and Sam know, but don't tell anyone else."

She nodded thoughtfully, staring at the grass. She was aware that he was watching her closely.

"Jill," Daniel said and waited until she looked at him again, "Jack will fix this."

She looked over at him then and found him gazing back with clear blue certainty in his eyes. A breeze ruffled his hair and made her shiver.

"Are you cold?" he asked, anxiously.

"A little," she replied.

"You'd be warmer if you wore a jacket and not just a sweatshirt," he chided.

He braced his feet further apart and said, "Come here."

Jillian shifted over until she was sitting between his spread legs, his knees still drawn up tight. Powerful thighs pinned her from both sides. Strong arms around her shoulders encased her in warmth. She leaned her back against his chest, her cheek against the prominently carved muscles in his forearm and sighed. She should feel trapped but instead felt safe and desired.

Warm breath whispered against the back of her neck. Lips touched, firm but soft, kissing gently at the skin just above her collar. Jillian held still, vulnerable but willing. Shivers ran out in ripples under the caress of his lips. She reached behind her to stroke his face. Her eyes drifted closed in bliss and she melted like spun sugar.

"If you keep that up, we'll get thrown out of here for far worse than feeding the prairie dogs," she murmured.

Daniel chuckled and tightened his arms and legs around her. She was so definitely female. Her skin was like satin against his mouth.

"We could go back," he suggested.

Jillian considered it, but doubted they would do more than sleep after the ride up here and the ride back. She snuggled into him, burrowing closer.

"No, let's stay a while," she begged. "We haven't had a quiet moment to just talk in so long."

"Okay," he said, resting his cheek against her hair, "What do you want to talk about?"

Jillian hesitated for just a moment and then said, "Tell me about Abydos?"

She felt him flinch ever so slightly and felt a pang of regret that she had asked. But almost instantly he relaxed, pressing his lips against her hair reassuringly. His voice was soft in her ear.

"They have these amazing animals there, sort of a cross between a horse and a camel, with all the aggressive tendencies of the average lamb," Daniel began.

"Did you ever ride one?" she asked.

She heard the laughter in his voice. "Yes, though they aren't as easy to ride as a horse _or _a camel."

"Your report mentioned caves?" she prompted.

"Oh god yes!" Now his voice was filled with the true joy of the explorer, "The caves of Kaleemah especially. As nearly as I could tell from what was in there, Abydos wasn't always a desert. Long before the Goa'uld transplanted Earthlings there, it had a mild climate and a thriving population. I'm no geologist but it seems that something cataclysmic happened and the entire population fled underground into the caves. They must have lived there for generations. I found amazing artifacts that I was just starting to identify and Sha're …..god, Sha're was so patient with me. She had no idea what all the fuss was but she'd just bring me food and water and make sure I didn't get lost in there…"

Jillian smiled a little to hear him speak of his late wife, for once without the edge of pain and loss; a joyful memory of a wonderful time in his life. They'd have to leave soon if they wanted to out of the park before dusk. But for the moment she was content to watch Colorado spin itself into autumn; and to stay in Daniel's embrace, soaking up his warmth while the rich cadence of his voice continued to transport her to another place in the galaxy.

(0)


	12. Chapter 12

The sound of the key in the lock of her front door alerted Jillian that Daniel was finally back from the store. The first true blizzard of the winter season was about to hit and they had opted for her place, as it was slightly closer to groceries and a hospital. Her woodstove tended to keep the rooms warmer than his fireplace did, and they both knew at some point the power would go out.

"Daniel?"

"Yes."

She heard the sound of grocery bags and keys hitting the table in her foyer. His footsteps coming down the hall caused a little shiver of anticipation.

"Did you call Sam?" she asked as he joined her in the kitchen.

Daniel didn't answer right away. He smothered her in an embrace. Cold was pouring off him like mist from a frozen lake.

"You're so warm," he murmured appreciatively.

"Did you call Sam?" Her face was pressed in the hollow of his shoulder; her voice was muffled by his jacket.

"Yeah," Daniel answered. He didn't let go of her. "She and Teal'c are going to ride out the storm at the base. Sam wants to continue working on , and I'm quoting from memory here because I have no idea what she was actually talking about, ' low luminosity AGN phenomena and how it relates to host galaxies', which according to her is something she's been trying to read up on and _never _ get a chance. So if Hammond has SG1 on stand down until after the storm, that's what she wants to do – lock herself in the lab and catch up."

"Jack?"

"Already home."

"With everything he needs?"

"Well, when I asked him that he said he had a case of beer, a generator full of fuel and a football game on TV."

Jillian smiled affectionately. "Hopefully if the power goes out he'll use the generator for heat and not just the TV."

"That will probably be determined by whatever the score is at the time," Daniel observed, "What about your team?"

"Col. Mallory is home with his wife. Rusty called me to make sure I got here safely. He picked up the kids on the way home from work and they were all safe and sound."

"Good, and Scotty."

She laughed. "Scotty got on the last plane out of Peterson heading for Denver with a bunch of guys who have a three day pass. They're heading for Vegas."

Daniel leaned back to look down into the deep green beauty of her eyes. She gazed back up at him from under her dark lashes. "They're kind of gambling that the airports will be open again in three days."

Jillian shrugged. "It's Colorado. One thing they know how to deal with is snow."

Daniel shivered. "Maybe we should have gone with them. The desert sounds good right about now."

Jillian placed warm hands on either side of his face and kissed him. Typically, he had only walked from the store to the jeep and then from the parking lot to her door, but he was freezing.

"You should let your beard grow in the winter," she suggested. "You'd be warmer and it would look damned sexy."

He looked startled. "You think so?" he asked.

Jillian gave him a sultry look from desire filled eyes.

"Yeah," she drawled slowly and kissed him again with more serious intent.

Daniel immediately got warmer.

"The upkeep is too much trouble when I'm traveling through the Gate and have no idea how long I might be on off world," he decided. When she looked disappointed he quickly amended, "But maybe someday I'll let it grow, just for you. In the meantime…"

He took her by the hand and dragged her into the living room. Even though the power was still on, Jillian had a low fire going in the woodstove and candles lit around the room. It would not only prevent them from being plunged into sudden darkness if the power went out, it created a winter ambience that finished chasing the last of the chill out of Daniel's bones. The smell of cinnamon and vanilla from the candles filled the room. Outside the sliding glass door to her balcony the snow was falling in earnest, creating a delicate column on the railing and settling in a lace filigree on the tarp covering the wood pile.

There was a large gift bag sitting on the coffee table and Jillian came to an abrupt halt when she saw it.

"Christmas is next month," she said, even though the package was clearly in a generic gift bag with a stunning oak tree awash in fall colors and tissue paper of red and gold was spilling out the top.

"No occasion," Daniel shrugged, "I just saw it in the store and wanted you to have it."

He took off his coat and threw it casually over the back of the chair by the woodstove. It had seemed like a very good idea in the store, but now that he was faced with her opening it, Daniel discovered he was mildly terrified. He looked up to find her sitting on the couch holding the gift bag in her lap.

Daniel swallowed against a dry spot in his throat and said, "Aren't you going to open it?"

Jillian looked up at him, green eyes fire-flecked, auburn hair shining in candle light. She looked utterly delighted and Daniel's heart flamed in response.

"Tissue paper and everything," she commented, plucking at it hesitantly.

"Yeah, well, the girl at the checkout sent me back for that," he admitted.

Her smiled rained joy down on him like star dust.

"Open it," he insisted, still struggling with terror.

The bag was huge and Jillian's questing hand first encountered the hard shape of a box. Drawing it out, she considered it for a moment and then said,

"A hair dryer?"

"Yours is broken."

"It still works." Her eyes were dancing, crinkled at the corners. A smile was teasing the corners of her mouth.

Daniel rolled his eyes, "The switch is broken off! You turn it on with that little screw driver! You're going to get electrocuted. It's bad enough I worry about you every time you disappear through the Gate, much less every time you dry your hair."

Her lips parted as if she gasped though she made no sound. She finally smiled; and, god, he'd brave a thousand blizzards to make her smile like that again.

"You worry about me?"

"Of course I do," he said, as if it was obvious. Then, quickly, "There's something else, too. A hair dryer didn't seem 'warm and fuzzy' enough by itself, even if it was to keep you safe."

This time the tissue paper parted to reveal a stuffed lion, sitting up and wearing an expression of extreme benevolence considering he was the king of the beasts. His golden fur was soft; his plush body ultimately huggable.

"I was looking for a stuffed prairie dog but couldn't find one," he said quietly. He went to sit on the couch beside her, tentative and hesitant, "Someone suggested I try the gift shops in the state parks but I knew you were waiting."

"That's a little far to go when the weather is forecasting snow in feet." Her voice had a strange lilt, as if her throat was dry.

"Yeah, that too," he acknowledged, "But then I saw this guy and well, Daniel is kind of associated with lions and I thought maybe he could keep you company when I'm gone and …. And remind you that Daniel came back safely from the lion's den."

Jillian was hugging the lion so close Daniel almost felt a surge of jealousy. She let go with one hand and touched his shoulder, ran her hand up over his neck to cup his cheek and jaw. She wanted to ask him to promise that he would always come back from whatever lion's den awaited him on the other side of the Gate but she couldn't. Neither of them could ever promise that.

"Daniel," she murmured and he waited until he realized that was all she had wanted to say.

After four years of Gate travel Daniel's reflexes should have been quicker. But Jillian flung her arms around him so suddenly it caught him off guard. The hapless lion was pinned between them. He hesitated for just a moment, absorbing her into his soul, before putting his arms around her.

"I take it you like them?" he asked.

Jillian laughed then, with an almost childlike delight. Heat and joy flooded him.

"No one ever did anything like this for me," she said, "Just noticed I needed something and got it, for no other reason than that I needed it."

Daniel kissed her forehead, letting his lips follow the contours of her temple and eyebrows.

"Oh I had a reason," he said, "I didn't want you to get electrocuted."

She laughed again, with a little catch in it that told him how moved she was. His lips touched hers softly. His tongue traced hers with infinite delicacy. He could feel her smiling. His hand found the back of her head and his fingers threaded into the heavy silk.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"You mean it?" he asked.

"Yes." Happiness bubbled out of her in another effervescent gurgle.

Jillian slid her warm hands under the oatmeal colored sweater she adored, under the t-shirt beneath it and over the naked skin of his back, cupping his shoulder blades.

"I also brought crab salad, French bread and a bottle of Chardonnay," he said, temptingly.

"Wow, all my favorites," she murmured. Then she switched languages, just because she knew it turned him on. "Etes vous essayant de me séduire?"

"Suis je réussissant?" His voice spiraled sensually into her ear, his French accent perfect.

"Oui," she answered, rubbing her cheek against his like a contented kitten.

They spread a blanket in front of the wood stove, soaking up its warmth while watching the snow fall, and ate picnic style. Somehow the conversation became centered on the underwater exploration of the Hindu city of Dwarka, though it was less a conversation than Daniel listening as Jillian excitedly told him about the latest findings. Firelight danced on the autumn highlights of her hair and her eyes sparkled, as if fairies danced in a primeval forest. Daniel took the time to study every nuance of her face, memorizing her for future times around other fires when she wouldn't be with him. When she would pause for breath he took the opportunity to steal little kisses, flavored with passion and wine.

Love, Daniel knew, took sacrifice and risk as well as trust and joy. Loving Sha're had been beautiful beyond bearing; but not something he had ever thought to have the courage to undertake again.

In moments when Daniel was being brutally honest with himself, he admitted that the reason for his new found courage was Jack. Jack had survived imprisonment and torture just to come back to the family he loved; and then he had lost them too. Jack had picked himself from a suicidal depression and found the strength to go on. He had even found the strength to fall in love again, though that was one of those things SG1 had firmly filed under "_things we do NOT discuss."_

Jack was Daniel's hero, even it that fact was filed in the same place as Jack's impossible feelings for Sam.

And now there was Jillian. _Jillian….. _She had become irresistible to him, a gamble worth taking.

"And now it seems evident that the whole west coast of India sank almost 40 feet about 1500 BCE, right when Krishna was reported to have died and the age of Kali the Destroyer rose," she was saying passionately. "So why is the discovery of Dwarka not getting the same attention as … well Troy for example. I mean, Schliemann finds Troy and the whole archaeological community goes ape sh….." She caught herself and amended, "Crazy."

Daniel grinned at her.

"You can cuss. I won't think less of you for it." His eyes glittered in the candelight, ice blue but warm.

"You know what I mean," she said.

"Yeah, I do. But Rome is easier for western culture to understand. Troy has been the subject of movies," he said.

"That shouldn't have any effect on the scientists studying history," she complained.

"I wonder what those scientists would say if we told them Kali most likely _did_ kill Krishna and that she's still alive and they both were hosts for a parasitic alien race of little snakes?"

"Told them without proof? You know what they would say."

"Been there done that," Daniel agreed.

That statement launched Jillian into another passionate discourse on the short sightedness of their colleagues in archaeology.

Hypnotized to silence by her voice, he let his eyes roam over her like a caress. She had a fondness for hooded sweatshirts. The one she was currently wearing seemed to have no shape of its own. It simple clung to the curves of her shoulders and rose over the heavy swell of her breasts, hinting at the beauty it covered. Tight jeans covered the curve of her hips and thighs.

"Daniel?"

"Hmm?"

He dragged his eyes up to meet hers, making his best attempt to look innocent.

"Are we going to talk all night?" she asked.

"We have before," he pointed out.

"We have," she agreed, "but is that what we want to do tonight?"

Daniel put his wine glass on the coffee table and laid his hand over hers. His fingers curled around it, brushing against her palm. His thumb stroked the fragile bones of her wrist.

"We can do whatever you want," he answered.

Jillian put her wine glass on the table beside his and leaned forward to kiss him. Her lips feathered over his. Her tongue sweetly traced his upper lip, setting his senses on fire. He swallowed a groan and concentrated on the sensation, opening his mouth in an invitation she accepted.

For a long time they did nothing but kiss. His fingers traced small patterns on the back of her hand. He surrendered to her, following her lead, letting her nip at his bottom lip before pressing closer and demanding more. She plundered his mouth as it contained riches, making him breathless. Then she was nipping, kissing and licking her way down the sensitive skin of his throat, stopping just above the V-neck of his sweater. She suckled the skin there insistently, teasing, drawing blood to the surface.

Daniel choked back a whimper and thrust his hand into her hair, holding her there. She was going to leave a mark but he didn't care. Hopefully it would heal before he had to share the locker room with Jack again; but then she sucked harder and trailed her hand up his thigh and he decided anything Jack might say about it would be worth it.

She stopped finally and Daniel drew in a long, shaky breath. He opened his eyes to find her gazing up at him from under sinfully thick lashes. She leaned back and long streamers of chestnut, crimson and gold ran through his fingers as she moved away. Gingerly, she reached up to take off his glasses, folded them and put them on the table by the wine goblets.

"Do you know this sweater drives me wild?" Jillian asked.

Daniel cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"You mean you don't wear it just to make me want you?"

"No," he said, drawing the word out slowly as he considered the implications, "I wear it because it's comfortable and it happens to fit me."

Jillian slid her hand under the sweater and accompanying undershirt again, over his taut abs, swirling her fingers around his navel.

"I never quite know if I want you to leave it on or take it off," she admitted.

He leaned forward and kissed her lightly, his lips turned in a grin.

"I feel the same way about that little black dress of yours," he murmured and then rained light kisses on her face, pausing with each one to savor the contours and softness under his lips.

Her hand came out from under his sweater and stroked slowly to his groin, forcing him to shift positions as his body reacted with sudden urgency. Her fingers trawled over him, exploring, finding him growing harder…..

Her chuckle was pure mischief. Clearly, Jillian didn't want to talk all night. She kissed him again, eyes closed and fingers wandering. Daniel kissed back, trying to hold still. He wrapped one arm around her waist to pull her closer, until her breasts crushed against his chest and he could feel her heart racing in time with his.

"Can I ask you a question?" she murmured.

"Sure," he answered, as his mouth wandered down her neck and nipped at her pulse. He was tempted to pay her back by leaving marks of his own. Perhaps somewhere else, somewhere on her body that he knew she reserved for his eyes only.

He was contemplating possible locations when her next question brought him up short.

"Why aren't you circumcised?"

Daniel coughed, startled. It took him a moment to form words into an answer.

"I don't know. It's not like anyone ever told me. I was born in Europe, to liberal parents, in the 1960s. That's the only answer I ever came up with myself. Why? Does it bother you?"

"No!" she said, quickly and with a series of appreciative strokes over the organ in question, "I actually really like it." She all but purred the last sentence.

Daniel relaxed, at least mentally.

"You were born in Europe?" she asked.

He forced his addled brain to focus on her voice. "Greece actually."

"Mmm," she murmured absently.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said.

"Seems fair," she replied in between a few more slow deep kisses, all the while continuing to pet him through restraining fabric.

"When we're making love, why don't you like being face down?"

Jillian inhaled sharply and he felt a twinge of apprehension. He was, however, worried about it enough to press her about it.

"It's not intimate enough, too impersonal," she said finally, "I don't enjoy it."

Daniel moved so that he could look into her eyes again. "You're sure?"

"Yes," she said, certainly. Her stunning eyes had dilated to black in the dimly lit room, surrounded by the thinnest ring of shocking green. "I don't mind when you're behind me. In fact, I really like it as long as we're just spooned together; my back against your chest, your arms around me, you hands free," her voice trailed off until she swallowed and shivered a little," I just don't like feeling like I'm being held down."

His eyes bored into hers, probing for the truth. He cradled her face in his palm.

"It's not because someone hurt you?"

"What? Daniel! No, "Her denial was pure, honest. She took his face between her hands and kissed him, "No. I promise you. There was only one man before you and, while he was _very_ adventurous, he never hurt me or even suggested anything that would; and since you and I…. Well, it's only been you and that's the way I want it. The face down thing….. It's just me. I just don't like it."

Daniel pushed her hair back from her forehead.

"I can live with that," he said, gently.

"Why?"

"Why can I live with you just not liking something?"

"No. Is that something you want to do? Something you would like? I think most men do."

"Knowing you wouldn't like it? I'd hate it!" he sounded shocked that she would suggest it.

Jillian felt her pulse stutter for a moment and then resume pounding. Her reaction to him at this moment was primal – the reaction of a woman to a man who would put himself between her and harm, a man who cared more about her pleasure than his own. If he took her right now he would find her more than ready for him.

Then he was pulling her back into a tender, passionate embrace and nuzzling her neck again.

"Tell me more about this spooning position you really like," his voice teased her ear as his lips kissed the delicate place behind it. "Something about your back being against my chest…"

"I thought you were worried we would talk all night," she observed, whimpering a little as he sucked at the base of her throat.

"It seems pretty clear we're aren't; at least not in conversation. "

Daniel took her by the shoulders and encouraged her to turn around. Finding the hem of her sweat shirt he pulled it up and over her head and tossed it to one side. She raised her arms willingly, unresisting. His breath hitched a little when he found a delicious leopard print bra covering her equally delicious breasts. Anxiously he jerked his sweater and undershirt off in one quick motion. Tangled in a ball, they hit the floor not far from her sweatshirt. He gathered her close, pulling her against him. His arms cradled her. Her breasts filled his hands. He sucked mercilessly at the place where her shoulder met her neck. Jillian gasped, unable to deny the desperate intake of breath caused by the sensations of Daniel's hands and mouth, the warm expanse of his chest behind her. Her head lolled back helplessly and came to rest naturally in the hollow of his shoulder.

Jillian closed her eyes and reveled in the glorious male body supporting her. Slowly, slowly he slid the straps down off her shoulders. She leaned forward just enough to let him release the hook and free her to his questing hands. They smoothed over her ribs, felt the flutter of her breathing as he cupped her breasts in his palms. His hands were equal parts rough callus and soft skin and they teased until she moaned.

"You're so lovely," he murmured.

He caressed her almost casually, though his heart thundering against her back gave away his true state of mind. His fingertips drew ecstasy on her satin skin. He touched as if there was nothing else he wanted to do for the rest of his life, slowly and without mercy.

"Daniel," she gasped, then sighed, "oh baby, please….."

He gave a small, satisfied chuckle and kissed her shoulder.

"Did you know you have a series of freckles in the shape of a pyramid… right …. Here?" He pushed a heavy fall of silky tresses out of the way and kissed a spot just above her right shoulder blade. She trembled like a leaf in the wind.

Wrenching back some control over the situation, Jillian turned in his arms, cupped the back of his neck and brought him down for a kiss that seared his soul. His skin burned where it touched hers.

"We should take this into the bedroom," she said.

"What's in there that isn't out here?"

"Blankets. In spite of the fire if you strip any further you're going to get cold."

He rubbed his nose over hers and gave her a quick, sweet kiss. "Oh I promise you I'm not cold."

"And I promise you I intend to strip you further." Her fingers found his belt.

Jillian was a scientist and remarkably efficient in everything she did and his belt slithered off into her hand with minimum fuss. Daniel wedged his feet out of his shoes while she dealt just as efficiently with his pants. His fingers stroked down her spine, slid back up over the dip of her waist and then paused to once again worship her breast. He was in agony from waiting: his foreskin was gone, leaving him hard and throbbing. She put her hand in the middle of his chest and pushed him backwards, forcing him to let go of her so he could brace himself upright with both hands. Her eyes were shining, glazed with passion and desire mixed in equal parts with caring and … he didn't dare even think the word _love_, but surely that was what he saw.

Jillian kissed and licked and teased her way down his chest, pausing to pet the sensitive area at the cut of his hips. The muscles below his navel shivered under her fingers. His cock ached for her attention.

Then his back arched and a groan of pure pleasure was dragged from his throat as he was abruptly taken into the warm moisture of her mouth. His thoughts splintered. He took his own weight on one hand so that he could card the other into her hair, wondering at how good it felt.

_Good_. Dozens of languages, earth bound and otherwise, and he couldn't think of a word more appropriate than _good_. Of course at the moment he couldn't really think at all. She was doing something extraordinary with her tongue that made him throw his head back and gasp. In a moment it was going to be too late…..

"J-Jill, stop. Stop, please," he begged.

She did, as abruptly as she had begun. His body trembled violently as he regained control. Sweet heavenly _mercy, _he was on the verge of a brutal climax and she was still wearing her jeans.

Inside the wood stove, burning logs suddenly crashed and rolled, sending a shower of sparks against the glass. Jillian stood and went to open the door. Using long tongs she moved the old logs out of the way and then added new wood to the fire before shutting the door tightly again. The new logs caught with a whoosh and she adjusted the dampers until she was happy with the result.

Then she stood up again, rising like Venus from the waters and Daniel's breath caught all over again. Naked from the waist up, long hair falling in a wave and curling around lovely, female curves, she simply watched him for a moment, eyes roaming over him in a caress.

At that moment a brisk gust of wind rattled the balcony door. The lights flickered for a moment and then went out all together, bathing them both in nothing but firelight.

"Knew it," Daniel muttered.

"It'll be out for a while," she observed, "They won't send crews out in this."

He looked up at her again.

"God, Jillian," he whispered appreciatively.

She smiled, pleased; then stripped slowly out of the rest of her clothes. Matching leopard print panties dangled briefly from her finger before she let them slide off onto the floor.

It was more than he would take. He knelt and seized her wrist, drawing her back down to the floor, covering whatever skin he could reach with kisses. She laughed and then moaned. Daniel moved onto his side and directed her until she was, indeed, spooned up against him, hip to hip with her delectable bottom nestled against his legs. His hand slipped questioningly along the silky skin of her inner thigh. Without hesitation she parted for him, putting her leg over his, shifting so he could enter.

Which he didn't do right away. He waited, hands moving like wisps over her body. His cock – hard, male and imperious – slid gently over her most sensitive places, slick with arousal. He teased her that way until she was incoherent and panting.

_God, _she was drenched with desire and he was beyond control. He wrapped one arm around her hips to hold her steady and sheathed himself with one long, slow stroke. Her head fell back against him and she sighed.

"Oh, god, baby," she groaned.

His arm around her hips denied her any movement, while he flexed his hips just enough to bring her to the edge and keep her there. He kept her there for a long time. His lips and teeth and tongue tormented her shoulders, her neck, the column of her spine all the way to the sensitive spot between her shoulder blades – the place that made her whimper and twist and plead with him.

Daniel released the savage hold he had on her hips and stroked his fingers from her navel downward. He carefully positioned his thumb in just the right way; at least it was right judging from the way she gasped and murmured,

"Yes yes yes."

She couldn't last much longer and he took pity on her. He pressed a little harder, picked up his pace and heard her groaning his name.

"Dan ….iel….Dan….oh god….."

Then she was climaxing, crying out and pulsing in ecstasy and he wanted to watch but by this time there was only so much he could take and she dragged him into paradise with her. It was like his very being dissolved and poured out of him and went deep into her.

Too much, too intense, too incredible, it hurt to breathe….

"God, Jillian," he panted

Daniel enfolded her in his arms like a priceless treasure. He felt oddly honored and somewhat humbled. He draped one leg over her and used it to pull her closer. His head dropped forward onto her shoulder. Hers was pillowed on his forearm.

It was like they were fused together, soul to soul. The air shimmered around them in firelight and felt lightning-scorched. Tremors coursed through her body. She linked her fingers with his and squeezed.

She was replete. Collapsed. Languorous. Melted to the bone. Flames from the woodstove warmed her from the front. Heat from Daniel's body warmed her from the back. It was entirely possible to fall sound asleep.

But she knew Daniel would get cold.

"How does a bed and blankets sound now?" she asked, softly.

"Hmm?"

His bleary response told her he was almost asleep himself. So tonight he would be typically male. It made her smile.

She slipped from his arms and this time his groan was disappointment, which also made her smile. They blew out candles and banked the woodstove again.

The sheets were cold and he was shivering by the time they slipped in between them. A pile of blankets and her sweet body curled up with his helped enormously. He had thought himself exhausted, but it was Jillian who kissed him with exquisite tenderness, snuggled against his chest and fell asleep first.

Daniel smoothed a lock of her hair back behind her ear and kissed the soft skin of her temple. The wind rattled the windows again and the room was bathed in that soft, strange light caused by the outside world turning white with snow.

It was not the life he had thought to have when he was growing up. It was not the life he had thought to have when he had chosen to remain on Abydos.

But the life he had now …. It was pretty damned incredible and nothing – _Nothing!_ – going to take it from him.

He drew her closer, reveling in her warmth. His arms grew heavy. His eyes closed of their own volition and, for the first time in a very long time, Daniel slept without dreaming.

(0)


	13. Chapter 13

**I wasn't sure I was going to deal with the events in The Light. But it also seemed impossible to ignore. Hopefully this episode hasn't been done to death in fan fiction and having Daniel explain all this to Jillian will at least be a different slant on it. **

**I'm intrigued by the idea of them having a three week vacation together – them being Jack and Sam as well. We'll see where the Muse wants to go with this.**

_**xīnshàng rén, **_**my source tells me is 'sweetheart' in Mandarin. **

Daniel had tried not to watch the Gate anxiously every time it engaged and sent through a new F.R.E.D. It seemed to him that they already had enough supplies to outfit an occupation army. The one thing he had been most anxious to receive had yet to arrive.

He wasn't exactly sure that a person could be requisitioned the same way as his extra glasses, but he had requested Jillian's help. If he was going to be stuck here for two weeks then an extra set of hands would be great. From an archaeological POV, there was a lot to do.

She should have been back from P3R-989 hours ago; and, while he was very glad that she had been gone the last 24 hours and thus had been spared living through the addiction that had almost killed him, he was at the point of missing her somewhat desperately now.

Besides, Daniel didn't want her to hear what had happened from anyone but him.

Finally, the Gate had spun and the chevrons locked and _this_ time, the ubiquitous F.R.E.D. had been accompanied by Jillian.

Daniel had bounded up the stairs and smothered her in a hug before she had a chance to take her first breath of the alien air. Her arms went around him so tightly that for a moment he wondered if someone had already told her what happened.

"You're playing havoc with my circadian rhythms, Jackson," she murmured, but there was no bite in her tone.

"What?" he asked.

"It's 12am on our little piece of planet Earth," she informed him, "I got back hours ago with the hopes of a quick debrief and then an evening at home soaking in a hot bath. Instead, I was told you were stuck here for at least two weeks and wanted me to join you as soon as possible."

"I am stuck here and I did want you to join me," Daniel admitted.

"Yes but in the meantime there were two condos to close up, mail to forward and mail to hold. I cleaned out both refrigerators, took out the trash and the recycling – and didn't I ask you to do that a few days ago – and I had to get in touch with the cleaning service so they could stop in a few extra times to feed your fish and water your plants, unless you didn't mind if they all died?"

Daniel was doing his very best to look innocent. "No, I didn't want them to die," he pressed a kiss against her forehead, "Thank you for doing all that. I don't know why I even have the fish and the plants, really."

Her eyes locked with his, so close he could see the flecks of green and hazel lighting the startling green; and so full of wonder and understanding he was momentarily shocked.

"Because you _can_," she said,"because you finally live somewhere with enough stability to have pets and plants."

Daniel blinked as he considered that. She was right. No foster home had ever afforded him the luxury of choosing a pet; nor had any archaeological dig. The last time he'd had roots of any kind had been Abydos.

By the time he focused on her again she had turned her attention from him to their surroundings. Suddenly there was wonder and awe on her face.

"And we've got three weeks to study all this?" Jillian asked, sounding overwhelmed.

"Three weeks," Daniel agreed, with a wry look, "I hope you brought your toothbrush."

Jillian grinned a little. "Toothbrush, shampoo, my new hair dryer and the generator to run it."

"That'll make Sam happy too," Daniel noted.

Jillian was still looking around, trying to take it all in at once.

"There's a lot here," Daniel acknowledged. "But I think we can get it all recorded at least in that amount of time. We can skip the parts about how great and mighty the gods are, at least. Sam can direct us to the important technical stuff.'"

Jillian's grin turned a little saucier, more intimate. "Is that all we're going to do for three weeks? I thought this was some kind of pleasure palace?"

His hands clenched possessively on the curve of her hips and drew her even closer. Beneath the utilitarian blue-gray BDU, she was all female. Her scent – lavender and home, woman – filled his head and he inhaled greedily.

"Oh there are some amazing places I want to show you," he said, putting his forehead against hers and kissing her lightly around a delicious smile of his own. She tasted of spearmint and honey. "There's a bathroom with a waterfall and a tub that makes your spa tub at home look like a plastic kiddie pool."

"Good," she whispered, "Because when I went back to the condo to check the mail that sandalwood oil I ordered had been delivered."

"And you brought it with you?"

"I did," she rubbed her nose against his and kissed him again, "and I intend to put it to good use."

Daniel swallowed and took a moment to enjoy the little thrill of anticipation that shivered up his spine. Jillian's knowledge of Far Eastern erotic arts was one of her more intriguing aspects. Most of the time their private lives took them to a place of emotional connection that bordered on the spiritual; other times it was about unselfishly driving the other to the brink of ecstasy and back.

"Are you offering to do what I think you are offering to do?" he asked, softly.

"Uh-huh." He wondered how she could make two simple syllables sound so promising. "If you want me to."

"Want you to?" he repeated, blankly, "If you do I promise to pick up my clothes off the bathroom floor for at least a month."

Jillian leaned back so she could look into his eyes. "A whole month?" she repeated, as if such a thing was astonishing.

"At least," he promised, his eyes twinkling with true humor, "_and _I'll try to remember to take out the recycling – at _both _condos."

Jillian gave him a skeptical look. "It's not that spectacular, Daniel," she said.

He leaned so that his mouth brushed hers as he spoke, "Oh yes it is."

She laughed as they kissed, until he coaxed her mouth open under his and dammed her ability to make any sound at all.

They stayed locked together like that until O'Neill's voice unceremoniously broke them apart.

"Hey there, Jillian. Welcome to Club F.R.E.D."

Jillian laughed a little as their kiss broke and she peered at Jack over Daniel's shoulder.

"Hi, Jack," she answered, "Good to see you. Thanks for the invitation."

Jack was looking over the manifest for the latest F.R.E.D., but he continued in a conversational tone,

"Did you have any trouble finding the place? Daniel was getting antsy but I told him traffic this time of day is murder."

"I was _not _getting antsy," Daniel protested. He looked at Jillian again. "Ignore him. We all do."

There was still indulgent humor in her expression still, but now it was mingled with a close scrutiny of his face; until her eyes met his again and locked tight.

"Are you all right?" she asked, and it was not a question she wanted brushed off.

"I'm fine," he said, firmly.

"Then why can't you leave here?"

He hesitated but only a fraction. It was another question she wanted answered. Her eyes had him pinned like a moth to a board. "Because there used to be something here that was addictive and getting too far from it caused a suicidal depression."

"What?"

"I'm fine now, _xīnshàng rén__,"_ he repeated, throwing in the Mandarin endearment for good measure, "Let's go take a walk on the beach and I'll tell you everything."

Jillian looked into his guileless ultramarine eyes.

"Even the parts you don't want to tell me?" she asked.

"Even those," he promised.

She appeared to waver.

"A walk on the beach," she murmured, "Three hours ago I was fighting snow, driving through the pitch dark and freezing cold to get back to the SGC."

Daniel pressed his advantage. "It's a beach with an ocean."

Excitement flared in Jillian's eyes. Color burnished her cheeks.

"An ocean?" There was no denying the longing in her voice. Jillian loved oceans the way he loved deserts. He knew she hadn't seen one on any recent off world excursion and the best Colorado could offer was the calendar he had given her.

"It'll be sunset in a little bit," he said, enticingly.

"A walk on the beach at sunset before finally getting some sleep?" she asked, "You had me at 'beach'." She glanced over his shoulder again at Jack and the F.R.E.D's. "Shouldn't we help unpack?"

"Oh, you kids go have fun," Jack said, dismissively, "Find out how far Daniel can get from the palace before he starts biting your head off."

"What?" she asked, blankly.

"It's a symptom of the addiction," Daniel answered, quickly. He turned to throw a frustrated, quelling look at Jack, who merely looked back with baleful innocence.

Daniel wrapped his fingers around Jillian's hand.

"Come on."

He led her down the stone steps and out into lavish corridors with soaring ceilings. She was still trying to look at everything at once before a strange whirring noise made her stumble to a halt. Her fingers tightened around Daniel's hand. Her other hand clutched at his forearm as a small black shape hovering inches off the floor came around the corner and started towards them.

"It's okay," Daniel said, quickly.

Jillian shot him a skeptical look, still clinging to him a little more tightly than absolutely necessary.

"Didn't they have those on the Death Star?" she asked.

Daniel laughed with genuine humor.

"They seem to be everywhere and all they do is clean," he said, "We think they are the reason the place is so immaculate in spite of being deserted."

"It looks like a flying pizza box," she said, "Why are they still functioning after all this time?"

Daniel shrugged. "Sam will probably be able to tell us in a day or two. She already has one taken apart."

"Not surprising," Jillian relaxed as the little robot spun on its axis to avoid them and went whirring off down the hall behind them. "So Sam has technology to keep her busy and you and I have archaeology. What will we do with Jack so he doesn't go nuts?"

Daniel grinned and continued leading her down the hall.

"He had them send his fishing gear. He's going to teach Loran to fish."

"Loran?"

"The teen aged boy we found living here."

"There was someone living here? Alone?"

"I promise I will tell you all about it," he repeated.

Jillian frowned but said nothing more. They walked through towering glass doors out onto a stone balcony that was, like everything else in the place, lavish to the point of excess. Its splendor was utterly lost on Jillian. The vista beyond the stone railing was more magnificent than anything the Goa'uld in all their excess could ever have created.

A vast and seemingly endless ocean the same color as Daniel's eyes spread out before them like a cape unfurled. The only thing between the palace and the ocean was a strip of creamy white sand beach.

"Oh my god," she whispered.

Daniel ran up a set of stone steps and paused at the top, silhouetted against a blue sky that was already luminous with the promise of a brilliant sunset. A deep excitement drummed in her heartbeat.

He held out his hand.

"Come on," he invited.

She couldn't have denied him if Hellfire had suddenly erupted between them. She ran up the steps to join him on a higher deck and then eventually to a set of stairs leading to the beach. They shed boots and socks on the last stair and stepped onto velvet sand.

They strolled, leisurely, hand in hand; for once able to walk without having to stride vigorously along with an SG team, for once unarmed and relaxed. Daniel watched her out of the corner of his eye. A little breeze blew wayward chestnut strands of hair across her cheek. Her eyes were sparkling, if still a bit shadowed. Her fingers entangled in his were long and elegant, enticing and lovely.

In a little while he was going to have to tell her everything and face the pain he had almost caused her.

When the palace had grown smaller in the distance, Jillian stopped suddenly and sat down on the sand. Shading her eyes from the sun, she patted the sand beside her and said,

"Sit. Talk."

He sank to the sand, imitating her position – knees drawn up, arms around them, fingers lightly laced. He studied her for a moment, wondering if he could distract her with an extended session of passionate kissing. One look in her eyes made him decide against it.

Jillian listened without interrupting very much. Daniel was a scientist. He knew how to explain things in excruciating detail, even without a fancy laser pointer and slide show. He kept his eyes deliberately fixed on the ocean, watching the constant waves while trying to keep his voice just as soft and constant, which wasn't easy given his penchant for speed talking.

To her credit, Jillian maintained her calm. It wasn't like she hadn't known something awful had happened; and it was a given that they were all at risk the moment they stepped across the event horizon of the wormhole.

"So turning this thing down incrementally will wean you all off it?" she asked, speaking very slowly.

"Yes," he agreed in a very neutral tone. He gestured at the palace in the distance. "This is already farther than we've been able to get from it. So that's a good sign; and it shouldn't have any effect on you at all."

Jillian was gazing out to sea but didn't appear to really be looking at it. A handful of shore birds suddenly broke from the sea cliff behind them and soaring out over the water as to fly straight into the heart of the setting sun. Long rays of crimson and gold and hot pink streamed up into the clouds and down into the water, streaking it with fire.

For a moment there was only the sound of the waves and the fading cry of the birds.

Then everything changed.

Tears blurred the deep green of her eyes. Distress creased her brow.

"_Daniel,"_ she whispered in a trembling voice.

She bit her lip and swallowed as tears spilled over her lashes and down her cheeks.

Overwhelmed, Daniel turned to gather her in both arms, pulling her close.

"Don't," he begged, stroking her hair, "Please, don't. I'm fine. _Wo_ _hăo de,__ băobĕi. _I promise."

"I almost lost you. Twice. If it hadn't been for Jack….."

"You didn't. _Xīnshàng rén, __bu ku."_

He tasted salt as he kissed her eyelids and face, then sweetness as his mouth found hers. She kissed him back with simple, undiluted fervor. Her body pressed against his. She was crushed against his chest. He pushed wind-tangled hair back from her face, cradling the sides of her head in his palms and kissed her harder. Jillian clung to him as he let go of her, but he was only shifting enough to pull her into his lap and wrap her in both arms again.

A terrible soul deep grief pierced his heart, mixed with a longing to make everything right, to heal and protect and never cause her any sorrow again. When they finally stopped kissing, he looked into eyes still swimming with moisture beneath her shadowed lashes.

"I'm sorry, Jillian," he murmured.

"You didn't do anything," she said, wiping her eyes on her wrist. "Just your job and we both know what that can mean, for either of us. God. Lt. Barber…."

"I know. No one saw that coming, or we would have stopped him."

She nodded while a single tear traced a wet line down her cheek.

"Hold onto me," he said, fiercely.

So she did. She dropped her head against his neck and shoulder and felt his pulse beating strongly. She closed her eyes.

"Daniel," she whispered.

They stayed there as the sun sank low on the horizon, painting the sea in brilliance. Daniel stroked her hair and murmured words of comfort and terms of endearment in a dozen different languages, some not of the Earth. When he felt her relaxing once again he tipped her chin up and kissed her again. Their lips moved tenderly together, soft and delicate, desperate with tenderness.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

Daniel shook his head. "_You _certainly haven't done anything."

"I'm not being very supportive," she replied, rubbing the heels of her palms against her eyes. "I always promise myself I'm not going to fall apart when things like this happen and here I am weeping like an idiot and making you feel worse."

"No one can be totally prepared for things like this, Jill," he said, "and when was the last time you slept?"

"I don't remember," she said, resting her head on his shoulder again.

"I should have let you sleep first."

"I wouldn't have been able to until I knew what happened. I knew it was bad. I knew it from the way everyone was acting at the SGC, how hushed everything was."

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you all of it then."

Jillian twisted and sat up. The look on her face pinned his soul again.

"Don't ever do that to me," she said, fiercely, "I depend on your honesty, no matter how painful. Besides, you can't keep things from me. It shows on your face. Don't ever play poker, Daniel. You'd be awful at it.'

He grinned a little and was relieved when she put her head back on his shoulder. They watched the sunset for a little bit longer, in silence, wrapped up in each other.

"We need to go back," he said, at last,"The tide is coming in and there wasn't much of a moon last night; and you must be tired."

Jillian nodded but said nothing as they got to their feet and began walking back. She laced her fingers into his and held tight.

She hadn't asked him for any impossible promises never to scare her like that again or to be more careful; and he wouldn't have given her such assurances even if she had. He wouldn't lie to her. He couldn't lie to her. She was right about that much. Instead he put his arm around her shoulders and kept her tucked under his arm all the way back to the palace.

He had three weeks in paradise to make it up to her. He intended to take advantage of every moment.

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	14. Chapter 14

**This part turned out to be somewhat of a departure for this story line. It's from Jack's POV. I want to thank all of you that have written to me and asked for continued updates. I write this for myself, obviously, and 'store' it at . But it is extremely gratifying when I find out that others are enjoying it.**

All things considered, Jack had decided it wasn't a bad place for SG1 and guests to decompress. It would take being forced into down time to get his pack of alpha dogs to finally relax. It had in fact taken days for Sam to stop taking things apart and Daniel to put down the video camera and notebooks. They had finally started looking through the F.R.E.D.s for recreational gear that morning and found the beach volley ball set. As much as Jack knew they loved the thrill of the intellectual chase, he believed in making them play as hard as they worked.

It made for a fairly nice view from the deck – Daniel and Loran against Sam and Jillian in the Volley Ball Grudge Match of the Century. It wasn't Monday Night Football, but then Monday Night Football didn't have Sam and Jillian in gym shorts and sports tops. Those two women would stop traffic faster than the entire Denver Broncos cheerleading squad.

Not that he was supposed to notice things like that.

Though it was obvious Loran was noticing. Poor kid. Like there was any chance he was going to learn to play volley ball with them as his opponents.

Voices drifted up to Jack, mostly Daniel trying to get Loran to keep his eye on the ball. He watched as Loran swatted an incoming ball back over the net and Sam effortlessly powered it back. Daniel dove for it (and when exactly had _Daniel_ become an athlete?) Daniel hit it two handed and then landed on his back in the soft sand, stunned for a moment with the wind knocked out of him. Sam spiked the ball back over the net, scored another point for the girls and then slapped hands with Jillian in a double high five.

Their celebration dance was a thing of beauty.

Daniel struggled to his feet, laughing, brushing off sand and readjusting his glasses.

"Come on, Loran," he said, "You're not going to let a bunch of _girls_ beat us, are you?"

Listening to him, Jack shook his head.

_For cryin' out loud, Daniel, _he thought, _don't you remember being a teen aged boy?_

Though, come to think of it, maybe Daniel didn't remember. Maybe he hadn't ever been a typical teen aged boy. He'd been too busy spending his inheritance and a fortune in scholarships and grants in the pursuit of knowledge.

"Who you calling a _girl,_ Jackson?" Jillian's voice, filled with teasing and affection.

Sam's laughter floated up next, riding the sea breeze. Jack didn't think he had ever heard his team laugh as much as they had in the last few days; and Sam had the most amazing laugh, like a carillon of bells.

Jack instantly derailed that thought and went to check to see if the grill was hot. He wondered what Hammond's reaction to some of their requisitions had actually been, but everything – including the gas grill and cases of beer had arrived. While it didn't make up for missing three weeks of the Simpsons, it certainly made their forced exile more enjoyable.

Besides, they were getting to spend long hours together _not _in fear for their lives. They had dragged all kinds of furniture out onto the deck – over Daniel's initial objections to artifacts being moved. Irritated, Jack had snapped at him that King Tut's treasures had traveled all over the US and the world had survived _them_ being moved. Taking some furniture out onto the deck wouldn't make the space/time continuum break down.

Jack had regretted the last smart ass comment since it had triggered a discussion of space/time between Sam, Jillian and Daniel that had lasted through dinner.

_Scientist…._

But now they spent evenings eating whatever one of them felt like throwing on the grill and talking long after the single moon had risen and traveled across the star spangled sky to sink into the ocean.

_That _was more than worth missing the Super Bowl and the Simpsons.

They knew each other better right now than they had since becoming a team. Even Teal'c had opened up, on the rare occasions when he had joined them – ostensibly to bring more supplies and take other things back. But Jack suspected it was more because the Jaffa missed them. They had been shocked to discover Teal'c had fathered three children before Rya'c, which everyone should have seen coming really. The guy was 101 years old.

All three of them had been lost in battle, all three dead in the service of Apophis.

No wonder Teal'c hated the Goa'uld. No wonder he had given up commanding armies to follow one beaten up Air Force Colonel.

Jack checked the pot of baked beans bubbling in a pot at one side of the grill. He gave it a cursory stir and was pleased not to feel anything sticking to the bottom of the pot. Then he opened the cooler and threw burgers onto the grill, listening to them hiss and sizzle. Smoke rose in a cloud and he waved it out of his face with the spatula.

Teal'c came through the door at that point, carrying an enormous cooler with a familiar box perched on top.

"Did you remember the diet Coke for the girls?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Teal'c rumbled, "and the fruit salad and mayonnaise."

"Sam's latest copy of _Technology Review_?"

"Yes."

"Daniel's _American Anthropologist_?"

"Yes."

Jack went to the broad stone railing, put two fingers to his mouth and blew a long shrill whistle. The volley ball game came to an abrupt halt and four sets of eyes turned in his direction.

"Dinner!" he yelled, "and Teal'c remembered the donuts!"

They started back for the palace. Daniel ducked under the net to walk beside Jillian, tossing the ball to Loran, who caught it deftly. Loran focused his attention on Sam all the way back up the beach, listening to her intently, no doubt trying to determine what a 'donut' was. Daniel and Jillian lagged slightly behind, arms around one another's waists, heads bent towards each other, looking very much like the besotted young lovers they had become. He was at least besotted enough to have let Jillian talk him into letting his beard grow. According to her it made him look 'hot'.

Far be it from Jack to argue with it.

Daniel seemed happy, and more focused and relaxed than he had been in years. Daniel drove Jack nuts most of the time, but a happy, relaxed Daniel was better than a stressed out, miserable Daniel.

The four of them vanished under the deck, heading for the rooms downstairs where they could change and wash up. Jack turned his attention back to the burgers, flipping them haphazardly and moving some away from the main fire so it didn't get too crispy. He and Teal'c preferred theirs juicy.

He was just opening the lid after melting the cheese when they reappeared. Sam had changed to her blue duty uniform and black t-shirt. Jillian and Daniel had decided to be determinedly civilian in blue jeans. Daniel was wearing a gray sweatshirt that Jillian had given him for Christmas that read 'Because _I'm_ the archaeologist, _that's _why.' Hers was white and said, 'History Geek.' It made Jack wonder where she shopped and decided it must be someplace online.

Sam was speaking as they came out onto the deck.

"Yes, I know all the sciences are related but you can't argue that a social science like anthropology is as exact as mathematics."

"Not that exact, no," Daniel agreed," But I've argued that the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle can be applied to the social sciences, and not just to physics."

Jack resisted a sigh but shot a look at Teal'c. The Jaffa lifted an amused eyebrow. It was going to be one of _those _dinner discussions, unless he derailed it.

"But in this case you have to modify the coefficient on the role of the Outsider," Sam insisted.

"He did," Jillian said, "In his anthropology dissertation."

"He did?"

"You read that?"

Sam and Daniel spoke at almost the same time.

"Yes, he did," Jillian said, "And yes I did."

"Masochistic much?" Daniel asked, staring at Jillian amazed.

"You modified a coefficient?" Sam said, with a trace of admiration, "How very mathematical of you."

"And I stressed that the technological level of the society has to be considered," Daniel took the plate of burgers from Jack and carried it to the table.

Anyone who knew her could see the thoughts racing in Sam's eyes, shining with the thrill of intellectual debate. Jack tried hard not to stare at her. She was amazing, really – his bridge between science and the military, the buffer that kept him from strangling Daniel and probably vice versa.

"I don't know, Daniel," Sam said, skeptically, "There are just too many variables in studying living, sentient beings. I think it would drive me crazy."

Daniel paused in his reply to Sam to catch Jillian by the elbow.

"You read my anthropology dissertation?" He asked, as if her sanity was still in question.

"_Theoretical and Empirical Investigations of the Role of the Anthropologist as an Outsider_," she recited the title from memory, "It was one of the top ten dissertations in its field, top twenty five over all in North America, top forty worldwide. So of course I read it. I was in the middle of my LLC doctorate. What you had to say about the effects of the Outsider on language was cutting edge."

Daniel's face and neck stained crimson and he focused his attention squarely on fixing his cheeseburger the way he liked it.

"I may have to read it to, just too see how you adjusted that coefficient," Sam said. She was busy with her own plate of food, searching the table curiously, "Mayonnaise?"

"In the cooler," Jack said, gesturing with the spatula before using it to flip a half dozen more burgers that were just for Teal'c. Loran had come to stand by him.

"What are they talking about?" he whispered.

Jack gave him a sympathetic look and said, "I don't have a clue. Don't worry about it. Do what I do, ignore it and have a donut."

"Donut?"

Jack caught Teal'c's eye and he motioned for Loran to join him, opening the box and offering it enticingly.

"Wouldn't the Outsider always be a catalyst for change?" Sam asked, rummaging in the cooler, "Jill, you want a diet soda?"

"Please," Jillian said.

"I'm not sure I would say _always_," Daniel said, drawn back into the conversation in spite of himself.

"I think you're over simplifying," Sam said.

"Of course I am!" Daniel laughed. He balanced his plate in one hand while straddling a chaise lounge and sitting down. "You're asking me to condense hundreds of pages of research and statistics and formulae from my anthropology dissertation into a short debate." He waved away the beer Jack offered him. Two nights ago they had managed to get him staggeringly drunk and he still remembered the hangover. He took the soda Jillian offered him instead.

Jillian sat down next to Daniel, pulling a side table up between them for plates and drinks.

Jack clapped his hands together and rubbed them as if they were cold.

"Okay, kids, before the scientists are chatting away in acronyms – which is always _so _much fun – let's limit the conversation to something all six of us understand."

They all gazed at him for a moment and then Teal'c asked, "What exactly would that be, O'Neill?"

Silence followed the question as they all glanced around at each other expectantly.

"We'll think of something," Jack said.

"Teal'c" Jillian said, "How is SG8?"

"Colonel Mallory said to tell you that you should return as soon as possible. He feels that SG8 is 'nothing but a bunch of ugly mugs' without your presence,"

Jillian grinned, wrinkling her nose in the process.

"He's got a point," Jack said.

"But they're all safe?" Jillian asked, anxiously.

"They were when I left," Teal'c assured her.

"Good," she said, with genuine relief.

"Colonel Dixon has gone on paternity leave. Major Wells has temporary command of SG13," Teal'c went on. News from home had quickly become the topic they could all understand.

"Paternity leave?" Daniel repeated, "What's this, his third?"

"Fourth," Jack corrected.

Sam coughed on a bite of fruit salad.

"You okay, Carter?" Jack asked.

"Fine, sir," she said, reaching for her bottle of Diet Coke. "Fourth?"

"Yeah," Jack said, slowly, "He's a smart Air Force colonel, but a glutton for punishment."

There wasn't much about his team that Jack missed. So he didn't miss the look of concern Daniel gave Jillian. She didn't return it right away and when she did it was so brief Jack almost thought he had imagined it. Daniel reached for her hand and squeezed.

"Everyone's burger okay?" Jack asked, quickly changing the subject.

There was a chorus of positive acknowledgment from around the deck, even from Loran who had approached the American fast food standard with some trepidation.

Jillian suddenly noticed what Loran was eating.

"Oh my god," she said, "Teal'c, you remembered the chocolate bars with the whipped cream filling?"

Teal'c acknowledged her with a gracious nod of his head.

"You're my hero," she teased, "Loran, save at least one of those for me."

"And eat some more of your burger," Jack admonished the kid, "and some fruit. On Earth we don't get to eat dessert first."

"Come on, Jack" Daniel said, "We've just about got him convince Earth is fun."

Jillian got up to claim one of her favorite Earth delicacies from the box on the table.

"That's going to be two extra miles jogging down the beach tomorrow," Sam warned her.

"I know," Jillian agreed, "And worth every step."

"I know," Sam gave her a grin full of conspiracy, "Grab me one would you?"

Jillian handed her the donut bar on her way back to her seat by Daniel.

"Just one of the reasons to return to Earth," she commented."Sly's Bakery in downtown Colorado Springs."

"That and the Simpsons," Jack agreed,"though I prefer their cheese Danish."

"The Simpson's make cheese Danish?" Sam gave into a rare impulse to tease her CO and Jack threw an oven mitt at her.

"Mama Chui's chow mein," Daniel chimed in.

"And her willingness to listen to us slaughter the Mandarin language," Jillian laughed.

"Steaks at OMalley's," Sam said.

"Can we ever go back there?" Daniel asked, "I mean, after the last time?"

Jack, Daniel and Sam exchanged furtive, guilty glances and finally shrugged.

"What happened there?" Loran asked as he reached for his third donut.

"Daniel started a bar fight," Jack said.

"Daniel?" Loran paused just before taking his first bite of a jelly donut. He looked stunned.

"It's a long story," Daniel sighed.

As the day slipped into the night with another spectacular sunset, the pots and grill somehow got cleaned up and the food was put away, trundled off to the amazing galley by Teal'c. Jillian and Daniel wandered down to the beach to retrieve the volley ball net and then they all gathered again on the deck.

Teal'c sat with Loran, watching him play on the Gameboy they had gotten him to make up for too many birthdays spent alone. Daniel and Jillian curled up together on the chaise lounge under a blanket, which Jack supposed was more to keep Daniel warm than her. He wondered what Hammond's response would be if they asked for a fire pit and wood to go with it. These evenings were bordering on perfect. A crackling fire would just about top it off.

Jack opened another beer and claimed the second chaise lounge. While the moon rose and a shower of shooting stars dazzled the night sky, he regaled his team with tall tales of growing up in Minnesota. They didn't believe half of it, especially not the one about how he had discovered his love of flying during a homemade toboggan run gone spectacularly awry – even though that one was true.

It didn't matter. _They _were all that mattered.

Yep, these evenings were pretty damned close to perfect.

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	15. Chapter 15

**This deals with the events of Absolute Power.**

Having just returned from off world, Jillian had been anxious to find Daniel. SG8's debrief had been mercifully short and after grabbing a quick shower and changing into her 'street' clothes of jeans and sweatshirt, she had gone immediately to Daniel's condo. She had called him. He knew she was coming, but even on the phone he sounded distant and distracted. It had been days since he had awoken from Shifu's 'teaching dream' and yet a cloud of melancholy still shrouded him.

Jack seemed to think that this time Daniel just needed some space, but Jillian wasn't so sure.

She found him on his balcony, silent, standing in an almost inhuman stillness. His curled fists gripped the railing as if he couldn't quite stand without support. The line of his shoulders and spine, muscled arms and narrow hips, and powerful legs thrummed with tension. The beginning of a new spring day streamed just beyond his bent head and cast his lean shadow onto the concrete deck.

She paused in the doorway, even though she was shaking with longing for him.

"Daniel? Are you all right?"

He threw a glance of bitterness over his shoulder.

"I'm not going to jump." If he had meant to sound reassuring he failed. He sounded only pained and annoyed.

Jillian inhaled as if she had been struck. The words hung in the soft spring air, incongruous with the chirping of birds and the sound of early morning traffic in the distance.

"I didn't think you were," she said softly.

Her voice was wounded, filled with icy shards of hurt that pierced him to the bone. He turned slightly and dragged his gaze up from the concrete deck to look at her in sorrow and contrition. His throat closed over a hard ache and all he could do was extend his hand.

Uncertain if she would actually join him, Daniel looked at the deck again. His heart beat miserably, measuring out the amount of time it took for her to make her decision. If she chose to go back inside, he wondered if he would ever breathe again.

At last she came forward, slipped her hand into his and squeezed. Daniel pulled her around to stand facing out, in front of him, her body between him and the railing. Relief flooded him when she leaned back, trusting, relaxed. He braced his feet and wrapped her in both arms. He often stood alone in the same position, arms folded across his chest, defensive, closed off from the world.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, lips against the back of her head, offering her a soft kiss.

"You're forgiven," she murmured, reaching back and stroking the line of his jaw.

His arms tightened and his head bent just long enough to press a kiss against her ear before he tucked her securely under his chin.

"Does this mean we can have make up sex?" He asked.

She laughed a little, snuggled back so her head rested against his collar bone.

"Men," she said, without even a hint of anger, "One track mind."

"It's not like we fight all that much," he observed. There was a pause in which he considered his next statement carefully, "and I _am _sorry. I don't know what made me say that."

Her fingers continued to stroke his face.

"You've been extremely pensive and withdrawn the last few days," she observed.

"And everyone's been acting like I'm going to shatter into a million pieces," he replied.

She was silent for a moment.

"No one knows what's going on in your head, Daniel, not even me. We only know whatever vision Shifu gave you, it's gotten to you somehow. Since you won't tell us anything, it makes us worried."

Daniel couldn't think of an immediate answer. He continued to stare over her head at the early morning light, breathing the chill air with its first hint of spring. A part of him still thought it was rather remarkable that he could breathe such air and not be instantly seized by a fit of sneezing, that somehow the watering eyes and itchy throat that had been a constant part of his existence had now all but vanished. He knew it had something to do with the antihistamines Janet filled him with.

But he also thought it had a lot to do with too much time in a sarcophagus – an experience that had also turned him into something inhuman.

Shifu's vision had dragged him out of his comfortable existence and into a dark wilderness of confusion. How the hell did he – who rarely ever articulated the things inside his soul – begin to explain it? It wasn't a chapter of his life he wanted read out loud, even if it had been entirely a work of fiction.

"I was thinking it was more introspection than being withdrawn," he said, finally.

Jillian turned around and linked her fingers behind his back, her arms resting with easy familiarity on his hips. The muscles of his back were rigid with tension.

"You said Shifu showed you what would happen if flawed, paranoid, aggressive humanity was given the knowledge he possessed," Jillian said, "That's a lot for anyone to think about. We just don't want you to get lost in this …. Introspection. Humanity's flaws aren't really something you can fix."

"What about my own?" he asked, quietly.

"You don't have any," she teased, but delicately. He was not only pensive and withdrawn, but fragile somehow.

"I wouldn't be so sure." He responded to her skeptical look by saying, "The flawed, paranoid, aggressive human being in the vision was _me_."

Jillian shook her head vehemently. At times Daniel could seem so young and almost innocent, in spite of all that had happened to him. He had clung to his idealism and his belief that peace could always be obtained by peaceful means.

At the moment he seemed neither young nor innocent. She had gotten used to his brooding and to his mercurial mood swings.

"Daniel, you didn't _do_ anything," she insisted, uncertain how to help him. "It was just a dream, an analogy. You can't keep beating yourself up over actions you never actually took."

"Do you want to know the _least_ horrible thing that happened?" he asked.

He flung the words out like a dare.

"Only if you want to tell me, and I mean that, Daniel."

"I hit you."

Jillian inhaled again, shocked. It was too unreal to fully grasp. "You would _never_ hurt me."

"I did," he was breathing as if his chest hurt. Without trying he could still feel the rage that had driven him, and feel the explosion of his hand against her face. He could still see the bruise that had flamed into existence on her fair skin and the shock and hurt, the betrayal that had flamed into anger in her eyes.

Then the words came out of him in a stammering rush, "I hit you and that was the least horrible thing I did. We had a…a….a terrible argument. You were upset with me for…..the things I was doing. You threatened to leave me if ….if ….if it didn't stop. I was furious. I expected your support. I…. I hit you … I _hurt _you and all I could feel was triumph. Then I wanted more, more control over you. I came at you again."

Daniel stopped and closed his eyes. What he had intended to do to her was unspeakable. He would have taken her against her will, preferably face down, screaming and begging him to stop.

The memory sent agony thundering into his skull. Nausea clawed at his throat. Shame flooded him in a torrent. _Jillian! _She had fulfilled male fantasies he hadn't even realized he had, given herself to him in a generosity of spirit driven by an honest pleasure in his body and a desire to please him.

She had only _ever_ denied him one thing, one position and he let it go without a moment's hesitation.

In his vision it had become the one thing he wanted to use against her, the one thing he would us to break her to his will.

What he feared and despised, he had become. He took off his glasses and rubbed away tears.

"What happened?" she prompted, gently.

He gave a small, choked laugh as his glasses settled back into place. His voice was deeply self-derisive, even though he half-smiled through the unshed tears. Her heart melted in response, throbbed in sympathy.

"Fortunately hand to hand combat isn't my strong thing and you're a third degree black belt. I came at you, reaching for you and the next thing I knew I was flat on my back with the wind knocked out of me. I hit my head on the hardwood floor."

He could conjure that memory easily enough as well – stunned, staring up at a ceiling that swam with dizziness above him. He was sure if he touched the back of his head he'd still find the lump. She had used his own anger, size, weight and forward momentum to render him helpless. He had been incoherent with rage.

"By the time I got on my feet, you had run out the front door. I heard your car and went to the window just in time to see you driving out the gate." He paused, "I had been so sure that you were mine, that I could do whatever I wanted to you, punish you in any way I wanted so that you'd be afraid to ever disagree with me again. It never occurred to me that you would abandon me."

"I wouldn't," she said. Anything that would make her abandon Daniel would have to be awful beyond imagining.

"I…I never saw you again. I had people looking for you, who couldn't find you. You never …..you never came back for any of your things and I spent the rest of that vision sleeping on my side of the bed and being certain you would come back."

He was sparking with energy, like lightning in a thundercloud.

"Daniel, I know I said this already but you didn't actually _do anything_."

"No, I know I didn't," he said, but he didn't sound convinced.

Shifu's teaching had put Daniel face to face with a stranger, someone totally unknown to him – a stranger who lived in the darkest recesses of his own soul and did unimaginable evil.

Jillian leaned forward to rest her head on his chest for a moment.

"There are... things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind," she murmured.

"Zen proverb?" he guessed incorrectly, smiling a little at her ability to pull quotes out of the air. He wasn't the only one with an eidetic memory.

"Dostoyevsky."

"Ah."

They said nothing for a little while, though Jillian gazed at him as if trying to fix his features forever in her memory. The words of a Celtic love song floated unbidden through her mind – _It's I'll be here, in sunshine and in shadow…oh Danny Boy, oh Danny Boy, I love you so…_

Helpless tears pricked her eyes.

"I've always felt safe with you," she said, finally, "and nothing has changed. If anything, I feel even safer."

He made a derisive, dismissive sound in his throat and couldn't meet her eyes.

"I mean it," she insisted, "You got a look at the worst you could possibly be, Daniel and came away revolted by it."

He shuddered hard and she felt it like the tremor of a small earthquake.

"See?" she said, lightly, "You've always been special, Daniel, a little better than the rest of us."

"Don't!" He said, sharply, "Don't put me on a pedestal, Jillian. It's a cold and lonely place and it feels wrong."

He was withdrawing again. She could feel him shutting down, shutting her out. She put her hands on both sides of his face, made him look at her and wished she knew what to say.

If she told him she loved him now, he wouldn't believe her, not in his current state of self loathing.

Her thumbs stroked over his cheekbones. Then her fingertips brushed his temples, swept the fringe of his hair out of the way. His forehead was furrowed. The deep inverted V between his brows betrayed the fact that he was dwelling on things that distressed him still.

Her hands slid down his shoulders to massage the tight muscles of his arms.

"Daniel," it was barely a whisper "Kiss me."

To her surprise, he resisted, leaning back, body stiffening. Jillian cupped his neck in her palm and pulled him down until his lips met hers. She feathered kisses against his mouth that were no more than fleeting little caresses until his resistance dissolved like ice in a spring thaw.

Daniel groaned into the kiss and wrapped his arms around her. He stepped forward, pinning her against the railing and bending her backward. His kiss became frantic, long and hard with quick pauses for breath before beginning again. Jillian kissed him back, recklessly, as if by her absolute surrender she could show him just how much she loved him.

"I'm sorry," he panted, between kisses, "I'm so sorry."

Frustration warred with compassion in Jillian's heart, for Daniel, for this impossibly complicated man who still needed absolution for actions he had never taken. She started to tell him that for the third time and then stopped.

She pulled back a little and murmured,

"It's all right. It's all right. You're forgiven."

Daniel drooped as if overcome by numbing exhaustion.

Jillian pressed her lips to his again, gentle and tender. Her tongue touched his with exquisite delicacy.

"Jill," he murmured.

"Shhh, it's all right. It's all over. I'd never leave you. Let it go, baby. Please let it go."

The tightness of his arms loosened. His hands came to rest on her waist. Still kissing him, Jillian ran one hand up his thigh. Her fingers strayed, light and teasing, until she was stroking him intimately through soft fabric.

Instinct made him press forward. His forehead came to rest on hers. Yet he still had the presence of mind to protest.

"Jill," he gasped, "We're on my balcony…."

"Shhh," she repeated, "For gods' sake Daniel, stop thinking just for five minutes."

Her touch became more insistent and he began to react to it with heady desire. He slipped his hands under her sweatshirt expecting to find satiny skin stretched smooth over curved feminine muscle. Instead her found nylon and lace.

He stopped kissing her abruptly, leaning back to look into her eyes.

"What is that?" he asked.

"It's a Brazilian lace teddy," she answered, "It's one piece."

Daniel's breathing became shallow.

"Victoria's Secret?"

"Frederick's of Hollywood."

Daniel gasped in a short breath, and then another; and suddenly being on the balcony was a condition he couldn't endure any longer. He turned, one arm around her waist, and backed her to the sliding door, still kissing. He got the door open and left it that way, heedless of the cool air pouring into the condo. Once inside, he grasped the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head.

Jillian purred and draped her arms around his neck as his hands roamed over sheer black nylon overlaid by black lace. His mouth ravished her neck and shoulder, licking, sucking, kissing. He paused only long enough to pull off his sweater and then dragged her back against his bare skin.

Tears burned her eyes as she kissed him back, letting her palms feast on him, on his neck and chest and shoulders and down his arms. The next thing she knew he had backed her up once more, until her legs hit the arm of the couch and she tumbled over, dragging him down on top of her.

Jillian's soul shattered with delight. Daniel pinned her arms to her sides and continued to torment her with his mouth alone. She writhed under him and made small pleading noises until he released her so she could touch him. She trailed her fingertips down his spine, slid them along his waistband.

Then Jillian drew in a long, shaky breath. Eyes fixed deliberately on the ceiling she put her hands on his forearms and pushed him back.

"Daniel!" She cried, though the word was agony.

Glazed blue eyes stared at her in confusion. His chest and shoulders rose and fell as he gulped in air.

"What?" he begged.

"What would you do if I told you stop right now?"

Her eyes held his, daring him, defying him, asking him to understand. His forehead furrowed once more. She had asked him to stop thinking and now it seemed that was exactly what she wanted him to do.

Understanding dawned like the spring day.

Daniel rolled off her and let his body collapse onto the floor beside the couch. She turned on her side and looked down at him anxiously, letting her hand drop to his shoulder. He was the one now gazing at the ceiling.

"I would stop," he said, as if it was a great and wonderful revelation.

He turned his head enough to bring his gaze to rest on her face.

"I would stop," he repeated, "I would _never_ hurt you."

"Of course," Jillian said, with a tender smile, "You'd never force me."

His eyebrows came together as he frowned.

"How did you know? I…never said anything about….. that."

She gave him another loving smile and brushed her fingers across his forehead, easing the frown.

"You didn't have to. Everything you think shows on your face. It doesn't matter. You'd never do that. You're not that person."

Still sounding somewhat amazed, Daniel repeated, "I'm not that person."

"No," she said, lightly,"So do you think you can stop beating yourself up about it now?"

He caught her hands in his and kissed her palm.

"I've been an idiot, haven't I?" he asked.

She shrugged. "You had a traumatic experience, Daniel. I'm not sure I would have known how to handle it any better."

Daniel gazed into her eyes for a long time, still holding her hand tightly in his, letting it rest on his shoulder. _God_, how he loved her and why, _why,_ couldn't he ever find the right moment to tell her that?

"I have a question?" he said, finally.

"Yes?"

He reached up and slipped his fingers under the thin strap on her shoulder.

"Do we really have to stop?"

Jillian laughed. She found his belt buckle and began loosening the leather.

"No," her voice was a sultry whisper, "We don't have to stop."

(0)


	16. Chapter 16

**This takes place during Double Jeopardy, while Daniel is supposedly 'on a mission.' Since the 'mission' was never really specified I am proposing that he is actually in WA D.C. with Jillian and a 'mission' was the excuse they gave Harlan so he would sound more inaccessible.**

**This was written because sometimes Daniel needs to be there for Jillian.**

Jillian was on the patio when Daniel finished showering and getting dressed. She was pacing like a tigress in a small cage, back and forth. Ceaseless movement and perhaps not significant except that _Jillian_ was doing it and Jillian rarely showed any signs of agitation or restlessness. One arm was wrapped tight across her waist, supporting the arm holding her phone to her ear. Tension stiffened the usually graceful line of her neck and spine and her eyes were shadowed. Her free hand was curled into a fist.

Daniel roughed a towel over his wet hair one more time and then tossed the towel through the bathroom door onto the floor. Retrieving his glasses from the breakfast bar, he went out to join her.

"I just got the invitation, Dad," Jillian was saying into the phone. The impatience in her voice surprised Daniel. Jillian was one of the most patient people he had ever met. "Well, of course I'm coming," she went on after a pause, "I have to put in for time off, but that shouldn't be a problem." Pause. "I'll send the RSVP back today….. No, I booked a room already so don't worry about it….Uncle Randall and Aunt Jen will be there too? Really?...That will be nice."

She sounded like she thought it would be anything but nice.

Another pause, in which she threw a pleading, helpless, exasperated look at Daniel. "Yes, there is someone I can bring… I haven't asked him yet."

Daniel lifted his eyebrows in question, but then nodded. If he was the 'him' being referenced, he'd do whatever it was. Everything about the current mood on the patio inspired an overwhelming, and probably primal, need to protect her. He wanted to enfold her in his arms and stand between her and whatever was upsetting her. He wanted to make love to her in long, tender moments of sweet passion to make her forget that she had ever known sorrow or pain.

Jillian motioned with her hand for him to wait. Daniel sat down sideways on the chaise lounge, rested his arms on his legs, clasped his fingers in front of him and waited.

"Yes, I said _him_…..Yes, it's someone I work with…..No, he can't tell you what we do either… I know how high your security clearance goes Dad, but it's still not high enough in this case…..Well, if you want to talk to the President that's entirely up to you. It's not like I don't want to tell you. I _can't_ and your clearances are high enough that you should understand that."

Jillian turned abruptly and looked frantically at Daniel, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. He gave her a small, sympathetic smile. Jillian had tried hard to get her father approved for clearance about the Stargate Program. She had sincerely believed he would be the perfect choice to help with the situation on P3X-2016**. Her faith in her father despite their fragile relationship had touched Daniel. In the end the government had chosen to go with another mediator and Daniel had been the one holding her in his arms and trying to kiss away the frustration.

Daniel sighed inwardly. It was like this every time Jillian talked on the phone with her Dad; not always about what Jillian did for the government, but she always sounded disgusted and tense. He wondered if father and daughter had ever been close. There was a picture of Alexander North and his wife Barbara on the wall in Jillian's hallway. It had been taken in the 70s and, except for the cascading 'Farrah Fawcett' hairstyle, the woman in the picture could easily have _been _Jillian. As for her father, Alexander North was tall, slender, and broad shouldered. He had a mass of thick, wavy black hair, dark eyes and, even in recent photos, a neatly trimmed goatee.

Daniel has searched the face in those photos for any hint of Jillian and found none. There was simply no family resemblance. It seemed that the only thing Jillian may have inherited from her father was her height.

In everything else she was her mother's daughter.

"Look, Dad, I have to go…..Yes, I'll remember… I love you too….Bye."

Jillian clicked the phone off and stood staring at it like it was a beloved pet that had turned on her.

"What invitation?" Daniel asked.

Jillian sighed and dropped into the chair beside the chaise lounge.

"The one to my father's retirement dinner," she said, staring at a passing cloud, "I need a plus one."

When she looked at him this time there was nothing but pleading in her eyes.

"When?"

"Next month."

"Where?"

"D.C, at the Hamiltion Crowne Plaza Hotel."

Daniel leaned forward and traced am aimless, gentle pattern on the back of her hand. The sunlight was gleaming off her fair skin, flaming in the red-gold highlights of her hair and along the curve of her eyebrows.

"That's plenty of time to put in for leave; and it's not like we don't have tons of time we haven't taken," she said, "and my father has been a diplomat on the international stage for nearly four decades. The guest list is likely to include people from all over the world. Who knows what languages you'll get to practice conversationally; and we can do the Smithsonian together. I've known about this for a while, and I already booked a room at a Bed and Breakfast a few blocks from the White House. It was built in 1883. I think you'll like it."

"You don't have to convince me, Jill," he answered, "Of course I'll go with you. I'm glad you asked me." He paused and then decided to try making her smile, "Unless you're just trying to get me into a suit."

Color fired over her cheeks and Daniel's body stirred for her, his skin tingled and he felt alight with tenderness. In the throes of passion, alive and aroused, Jillian could tell him exactly what she liked and where and how much. In casual conversation he could get her blushing like a school girl.

"A tux, actually," she amended, still blushing.

"Ah," he considered that for a moment and then nodded, "I can do that." He stopped touching the back of her hand to clasp it tightly in his own. "Jill, is there some reason you want to stay at a B & B and not in the hotel where the dinner is being held?"

"I always stay at the Swann house if I have to be in D.C. They have this lovely little room on the ground floor. It's got a cheesy name – the Shanghai'dAway. But I really like it and when I called they said it was available, so I booked it," she glanced at him from under her lovely, long lashes, "It doesn't have a tub, but the shower is huge and there is one of those rain forest shower heads coming down from the ceiling."

Daniel's skin tingled a little more and he suspected Jillian wasn't the only one who looked flushed now. Neither one of them had a shower set up conducive to enjoying one together. Jillian had a narrow stall shower that was almost too small for him alone much less two of them. His condo had the standard tub/shower, which meant only one of them could be under the water at a time and was no fun.

"Queen sized bed?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Only a full. It's a small room."

"We'll make do," he said, leaning forward to kiss her very gently. "Can I ask you something?"

Jillian looked into the ocean blue eyes she loved and tried to let her tension melt away.

"Of course."

"I take it from the conversation that you haven't said anything to your father about us?" he said.

"That's not actually a question. It's more of an observation," the scientist in Jillian couldn't help but point out.

"Yes, Dr. North," Daniel laughed, "Is it correct?"

"Yes, "she admitted, and smiled in a way that made his heart skip, "But that's got everything to do with the relationship between me and my father and nothing to do with you."

"Really?" he asked, uncertainty written on his features.

"Yes," she said, firmly. Her fingers squeezed his tight.

"It's not that you aren't sure about us?"

"Not at all," she answered, without hesitation, "It's about not making you run the gauntlet of my family."

"Your family isn't that big, Jill. How bad can it be?"

"My grandfather won't be coming. He and my father haven't spoken in decades."

Daniel's eyebrows lifted but he encouraged her by silence to continue.

"My father is the oldest son. He was expected to take over the family business."

"Your family has a business?"

"Third generation. You may have heard of it actually – Northern Lights Publishing?" He nodded and she went on, "The flaw in the plan for him to take over is that my father wanted nothing to do with it. He joined the Peace Corp and never looked back. That's where he met my mother and she encouraged him to become an ambassador. My Uncle Randall was left to take over and I've never been quite certain he was happy about that. He and my father have a very …. Scratchy relationship."

Jillian paused, remembering the last Thanksgiving she had dared to go home. There had been heat in the air between her father and uncle from the moment they had set foot in the same room, an edge of temper and things unspoken.

The only thing that had salvaged the holiday for her had been her cousin Cheryl's children. Jillian had been instantly swept off her feet by them. She had spent most of the time playing 'Star Wars' legos and having an earnest conversation about the Clone Wars situation with Michael; and the rest of the time walking around holding baby Sophia and loving every minute of it. Those two sweet little people had been the image of their parents, a combination of Cheryl and her husband that could not be denied.

But it had made her wonder what she had given up and ache from the realization that she would never look into the eyes of a child and see her own looking back. The innocent weight of the baby as she had held her and the gurgling smile, the blissful look on Sophia's face as she had nursed, even her anxious cries and the way Cheryl had soothed and rocked her – it had all gotten to Jillian in a way that was older than time. It had awoken feelings she had thought long buried.

She'd used her work as an excuse to skip holidays ever since.

In the last few months Jillian had come to know that more than anything she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Daniel; and that she wanted to have a family with him. She wanted to not just to have _his_ children, she wanted _their children._ She had no idea what Daniel wanted at this point; but since she was never going to have what her soul longed for, there was never any point in discussing it.

Jillian could feel him watching her closely and his gaze pulled hers like a magnet. She looked at him, into the Caribbean blue eyes she loved but would never see looking back at her from a face of a child they had created together.

Whether she was just tired from the recent drama at the SGC or from the conversation with her father or just from life in general, Jillian wasn't sure. But she could feel the ache closing off her throat and the tears she couldn't stop began spilling over her lashes.

Having no idea the direction Jillian's thoughts had taken, mystified and slightly panicked, Daniel slipped off the chaise and onto his knees in front of her. Gathering her into his arms he whispered,

"Shhh. I'm here. I know it hurts. Hold onto me, gràidheag."

He didn't know what other comfort to offer. It was pointless to tell her that it was all right, or that they would fix it. Her family was beyond his control. He was filled once again with that futile need to undo her past, to remake her family and spin her world into a fairy tale.

Her arms were around his neck, one hand at the back of his head as she wept onto his shoulder. Daniel knelt upright in a kind of suspended agony waiting for her to stop. He almost wished she was sobbing instead of just soaking his t-shirt with slow, silent tears. Her grief seemed deep and old and hopeless and beyond his ability to comfort.

She at last drew a long, shaky breath and sat up again; though her hands remained on her shoulders. His knees were starting to hurt from kneeling on cold concrete but he didn't even consider getting up. He put his hands on her hips firmly, reassuringly.

"You don't have to go to this thing if it's going to upset you this much," he said.

Jillian answered with a vehement shake of her head. The long, heavy layers of her cascading hair caught the sun and fired the red and gold highlights streaking the chestnut brown.

"No, I have to go," she said, "my mom….. my mom can't be there and she'd want me to go, for my dad."

Daniel studied her carefully, searching for clues. Jillian rarely talked about her mother and he wondered if that was the cause of her distress.

"It'll be fine," she went on,"You'll be there with me."

"Every minute," he promised.

Jillian read the concern on his face and felt a rush of guilt. She didn't want him worrying about her the entire time they were celebrating her father's retirement.

"It'll be fine, Daniel, really. It's not even that."

"Then what is it?"

She shook her head again. It would hardly work to tell him she was upset about children they would never have when she couldn't even tell him she loved him – and he had never said a word to her either. She wondered if Daniel could imagine telling anyone but his late wife that he loved her; and she didn't want to force him to say something he might not mean.

Though she believed with all her heart that he did love her, as totally and utterly as she loved him. They had proved it with passion. They had proved it with an unspoken understanding, almost as if they now knew each other's thoughts.

At least most of the time. She knew she had him completely baffled at the moment.

Jillian stood up so abruptly she almost knocked him over.

"It's me being silly," she said, dismissing it.

He rose to his feet and hovered over her. His brow furrowed with concern.

"There's been so much going on, Dan. It's just been kind of hectic and emotional the last few days. I'm all right."

She had a point. Just a few days ago Jillian had wept in his arms because they had nearly lost Sam. Endless caught between science and the military both things had almost killed her; and the only thing that had kept Jack and him from tearing each other apart had been their mutual shock and grief. To say tension had been high was an understatement.

Little wonder that she was on edge; and he was the last person in the Universe to encourage her to talk about it – not when he was the one even more likely to retreat into the castle, pull up the drawbridge and release the moat sharks at the first sign of something evenly remotely earth-shattering.

With a gentle kind of reverence, Daniel enfolded her in his arms and drew her close against his body. Jillian leaned against him fully, sighed at his strength – lean and hard and fit, from his broad shoulders to his powerful arms to the long muscled column of his back.

But it wasn't just his physical strength she depended on. This was Daniel who was there for her even when he didn't quite understand what was going on. His support and compassion were as steadfast and absolute as his heart beating against her cheek.

Her heart still ached but it was receding. As always pain had been defeated by love and the brilliant, subtle, generous, wonderful man who was Daniel Jackson.

(0)

_(** - references the plot line of my story __Crown of Stone__)_


	17. Chapter 17

**I intended this whole section to be finished as a romantic Valentine's Day treat; and then nature decided to knock me off my feet with a mega-flu for the last week. This is part two. Will post the final piece of it ASAP. Thank you again to everyone who has written to tell me you are enjoying it.**

Daniel couldn't remember the last time he'd had to wear a tux. At one point in his life it had been the part of his professional career. 'Networking' to raise grant money had been a necessary evil. Museum openings and university functions had given him a chance to use his openness and charm, and his gift for languages, to help him wear old jeans and get dirty looking for pieces of history the rest of the time.

The Stargate program had eliminated that from his life. There was no private funding of the Stargate Program. The worst he had to do now was put on a nice suit when Hammond required it for visiting dignitaries; and for funerals, which he chose not to dwell on.

And for taking Jillian out to the Lake Terrace Room at the Broadmoor for dinner. Valentine's Day had been particularly memorable thanks to dinner and dancing there, followed by a private cabin he'd had to reserve months in advance.

But that hadn't even required a tux. He'd never really imagined needing one again, much less suddenly owning one. The DOD paid him well – _very_ well; and he'd decided to just get one that actually fit him this time. All he had to do tonight was make Jillian happy. He wasn't sure he'd ever had a more challenging assignment.

The soft _snick_ of the bathroom door opening announced that Jillian was finally emerging. Daniel gave up wrestling with his tie and turned to ask her if she could help him.

His request died unspoken. Jillian had left her hair unbound and formed it into a mass of waves. It framed her lovely face to stream over her naked shoulders and back. She was wearing a formal gown of deep royal blue. Folds of chiffon fabric over silk crisscrossed the top and hugged her sensuously down to her hips, emphasizing every curve of her breasts and waist. Whatever was holding it up, Daniel had no idea. The gown seemed to cling to her of its own volition. Her skin looked soft as cream above the low neckline. The rest of the gown was a simple fall of shimmering fabric, hinting at long legs and more feminine delights.

There was a circle of diamonds draped around her neck and another dangling from her wrist.

She smiled at him uncertainly and his heart broke. He inhaled three or four times, trying to get his voice to work. His pulse was thundering and he wondered if she could hear it. She had the kind of beauty that stunned people to silence.

"You should wear that color every day," he said, finally.

"You like it?" How could she possibly sound so vulnerable?

"It's stunning," he said, with as much force as he could manage. "You're stunning."

Jillian smiled again and then her eyes swept him from head to toe and back up again.

"Whoever tailored that suit knew what he was doing," she said, and he heard the rich appreciation in her voice.

Okay, the suit made her happy. In his mission to make her happy tonight things were going well.

"I can't do the tie," he admitted.

She glided forward. Her walk was different in the gown, in the heels adorning her feet. It was more graceful somehow, more female. Was it possible he had never noticed how her hips moved when she walked; or was it the sway of the dress that accentuated it? As she approached a light floral scent filled his head, more exotic than what she usually wore. She took the ends of his tie in her hands and deftly worked it into perfection.

She was close enough to kiss but he was almost afraid to touch her.

"You look amazing," he said.

Jillian looked down at the floor and then back up at him through her lashes.

"I look like my mother," she whispered.

Daniel felt a flash of desire and tenderness that had nothing to do with sex.

With the kind of care he used on artifacts thousands of years old, he put his hand on her shoulders and turned her around so that they faced the mirror. He moved in close behind her. Meeting her eyes in the glass he said,

"Will you do something for me tonight?"

"Do you have to ask?" she said, shaking her head, "I dragged you two thousand miles to sit and listen to boring speeches about a man you've never met. If I can do something for you, please just tell me what it is."

Holding her gaze, unblinking, he said, "Just for tonight, see yourself through my eyes; because what I see is a smart, successful, sexy, _beautiful_ woman that I am very proud to be with."

Jillian turned in his arms and put her hands on his chest. She not only _looked _terribly fragile, she _felt_ terribly fragile.

"Is that what you really see?" she asked.

"Anyone who sees anything else is an idiot; and I'll admit to being dense about a lot of things, but not about this."

The truth was he saw that and so much more. He saw the woman who had managed to stop his soul from bleeding, who had coaxed him from sorrow into laughter and somehow convinced him not to feel guilty about that. He saw the woman who listened when he needed to talk and was silent when he needed silence.

But she had not come to him without her own pain. The more he had gotten to know her and her heritage, the more he understood. The Norths were a 'generational family' based in old money and old traditions. There was a certain understanding that they would continue the family name and the family business. There was a certain sense of shock that a woman would want something other than children and husband. Jillian had no interest in the business. She had chosen a career and science; and had removed herself from the rest. Her mother had been Scottish, descended from Scottish royalty. Her parent's only child, she had two families on opposite sides of the pond upset with her about one thing or the other.

Her childhood and her decisions were scars that bled fresh every time her family brushed against her heart. Daniel intended to stand between them as much as he could tonight. It seemed he loved her for all the same things her family had a problem with.

She pulled back to look up at him, her eyes shadowed, hiding a vulnerability she wanted to deny. She smiled at him with heartbreaking bravado; then she kissed him with just enough heat to promise later intimacy.

"How is it you always know exactly the right thing to say?" she asked.

Daniel hugged her lightly, afraid to wrinkle something. His heart was so full it ached.

The phone on the small ebony desk rang and Daniel answered it. After acknowledging the concierge on the other end, he hung up and said.

"The limo is here."

(0)

From the moment Jillian had seen Daniel more dressed up than she had ever seen him, it had been obvious to her that she could survive the evening just by looking at him. She had never reacted to a man the way she did to him. It was all new – the brilliance that shimmered around him, the craving and ecstatic joy and the deep softening of her body, as if he melted her with a single glance. For the first time in her life she was trusting entirely to instinct. There was no logic or science to guide her in this relationship. Love had ripped through Daniel already and left him in pieces; and she had watched her father disintegrate after the loss of the wife he loved.

Love was all sacrifice and risk and faith. Caution was advised.

But, _have mercy, _Daniel was gorgeous tonight. She could barely take her eyes off him, in spite of her nerves and her desire to be _anywhere _else. His height and grace, with the sun tinting gilt highlights in his dark bronze hair, his smile and those incredible eyes…..

She sighed and suppressed a shiver of delight.

The soft black fabric of his jacket, some kind of silk and wool blend, invited her touch so she moved closer to him than was absolutely necessary, slipped her arm through his and linked their fingers. The bones in his hand felt solid and male. The white fabric of his cuffs hinted at the definition of his heavy wrists. Her arm now rested on his thigh, strong and powerful under the trappings dictated by their culture and society.

Jillian had long ago discovered that she loved stripping him out of those trappings, slowly, a little at a time, teasing and tasting him until all traces of civilization fell away and they were both naked and feral with passion.

Leaning against him, feeling safe and comforted, the limo ride seemed all too short.

The hotel was already blazing with light even though the sun was just beginning to set. They entered the ballroom with her arm still linked through his for support. The room was done in monotones, shades of white on white. Round tables were covered in white cloth with centerpieces of white flowers. Light – candlelight and incandescent – shone from the walls and tables. Jillian paused just inside the door, looking for the distinctive figure of her father.

It didn't take long to spot him, or for someone to point her out to him. He caught her eye from across the room and came to welcome her.

"I'm glad you could make it," he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek delicately.

"Dad," she said, by way of greeting.

Daniel took the moment between father and daughter to study them together carefully. Jillian was a 'hugger', but he had seen her hug Jack with more warmth and enthusiasm. There was a tension in the normally fluid line of her spine, a distance she kept between them that told him this man had the power to hurt her; and had done so in the past.

As for Alexander North, he had aged since the photo on her wall. His dark hair was now iron gray though still thick and substantial. He was still tall, with a commanding presence and piercing dark eyes. He did seem genuinely glad to see his daughter though.

Alexander held her back at arms' length. "Let me look at you. I haven't seen you in ages," he said. He looked misty. "My God, Baby Girl, you look so much like your mother."

Daniel wondered if Alexander North was oblivious to the sudden stiffness in his daughter's shoulders or if the only thing he saw was the swift smile she gave him. Daniel was shocked by how quickly his temper rose in response. Could the man really be that blind to his daughter's reaction?

"Thanks, Dad," she said, with only the slightest tremble in her voice. Then she quietly added, "I miss her too."

Daniel forced himself to relax. _Come on, Jackson, _he told himself sternly, _you can't eviscerate the man just for missing his wife._

Using the folds of her gown as a cover, Daniel found Jillian's hand and brushed his fingers against her palm. His other hand he extended to her father. As much as he knew that her father's observation had stirred up pain for Jillian, Daniel couldn't help but sympathize with Alexander North. The memories of Sha're – and the pain that had torn his heart into tiny little pieces - was still too fresh. But he had found someone who made the feeling of being broken more bearable, even if it didn't go away entirely.

Decades after his wife's death, Alexander North was still living alone.

"Dr. North?" He said, "I'm Daniel Jackson."

Jillian's father's handshake was firm and confident, befitting a man who had devoted his life to diplomacy. If he was still lost in thoughts of his late wife, he didn't show it. Keen dark eyes focused on Daniel.

Jillian recovered quickly as well.

"Yes," she said, "Dad, this is my colleague, Dr. Daniel Jackson. Daniel, my Father, Dr. Alexander North."

"_Doctor _Jackson," Alexander said. The question in his voice was clear.

"It's Daniel," he said, almost automatically, "and that's PhD, not MD."

"Same here," Jillian's father smiled.

"I know," Daniel responded, "I'm familiar with your work to some extent. You worked on the drafting of a United Nations article on developed-country commitments to limiting greenhouse emission and most recently served as a US delegate on the UN Security Council."

'You have me at a disadvantage," Alexander replied with forced casualness, "Your field?"

"Archaeology," he responded.

"And anthropology and philology," Jillian said, with no small trace of pride.

"Triple PhD," Dr. North said, with admiration. He gave Jillian a curious look "You found someone who can keep up with you."

"Usually it's the other way around," Jillian answered with a small laugh. "I'm trying to keep up with him."

Alexander was still studying Daniel with the piercing gaze fathers had been giving their daughter's dates for centuries.

"So you work with Jillian under that mountain in Colorado?" he asked.

"Yes, sir."

"For the government?"

"Yes, sir. I'm a consultant under contract with the Department of Defense, specifically the Air Force, just like Jillian."

"And it's top secret?"

"Well, it's not exactly Area 51," Daniel said, with a small smile, "but yes it's top secret."

Alexander sighed dramatically. "Ah well, she _did _warn me you wouldn't tell me either." He reached for his daughter and put his hand in the center of her back and gestured into the elaborate dining hall. "Shall we join the party? They're just about to serve dinner and your aunt and uncle are around here somewhere."

There was no mistaking Randall North for anything but Alexander's brother. Except that Randall's eyes were more hazel than brown and his hair was only gently touched by gray at the temple, the men might have been twins. They had an air of casual power and authority, confidence that came from success; though Randall was more openly charming than Alexander. Daniel thought that was odd, considering that one was the CEO of a publishing company and the other had spent his life in international diplomacy. Perhaps Alexander was just exhibiting a natural mistrust of the man currently escorting his very lovely daughter.

As far as Jillian's Aunt Jennifer was concerned, Daniel was pleased to find a vivacious woman with an easy laugh and genuine warmth. She was also from Quebec, Canada, which gave Daniel an excuse to converse in French. After a few moments of easy banter, Aunt Jen declared Daniel 'utterly charming' and warned Jillian to hang onto him with both hands.

Jillian had given him an apologetic smile. Daniel started to say something but his attention was seized by the entrance of someone he recognized – Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

"Jill," he said, touching her arm, "Is that really?"

"Yes," she answered and then grinned at him, "You didn't read the program Dad sent us, did you?"

He shook his head.

"She's giving the welcoming speech," she tilted her head and looked at him a bit indulgently, "I suppose you also don't know that Dad talked me into singing the National Anthem?"

Daniel blinked. He had no doubt that Jillian could handle the song. Jillian had a voice fit for heaven's ears; and there probably wouldn't be a dry eye in the house when she was done. He was a little startled that she didn't seem concerned about it.

"And you agreed?" he asked.

"It was sing or give a speech," she shrugged.

"Oh," Daniel said,"In that case good choice."

He pointed discreetly to a man in the distinctive red robes of a Roman Catholic Cardinal.

"Who is that?" he asked.

"Archbishop McCarrick of Washington," she answered, "He's giving the invocation. You knew my Dad's side of the family is Catholic, right?"

Daniel shrugged, "I don't know. It doesn't matter to me."

"My mother's side was as Protestant as a family can possibly be. It's another reason my father and grandfather don't speak. He didn't come to their wedding either."

Daniel stared at her for a moment. He had grown up without any real family. He couldn't imagine letting things that seemed so petty ruin relationships.

"There are a lot of very important people in this room," he observed to change the subject.

Jillian slipped her arm through his and began shepherding him to the head table.

"If it makes you nervous at any point, just remember: You have a higher security clearance than any of them."

(0)

Dinner was served in multiple stages and each one was excellent. The posting of the colors by a military honor guard was moving. Jillian caused more than one moist set of eyes, including her father's, with her rendition of the National Anthem. The speeches were mercifully short and seemingly heartfelt enough for Daniel to get the clear message that Alexander North was a well respected member of the diplomatic service; even the Secretary of State spoke of him with a kind of affection.

Dr. North gave the last speech. When he spoke of his late wife, Jillian's eyes teared up and Daniel found her hand under the table and held it tight. She had locked her fingers with his and given him a brave smile.

The US Army Orchestra played throughout dinner and switched to dance music as dessert was being served. As glad as Jillian was to have an excuse to be in Daniel's arms, she couldn't help but tease him for dragging her away from the Chocolate Decadence cake.

"You know that cake was the best thing I've had in ages, don't you?" she asked, as he expertly moved her around the dance floor to the tune of _Moon River._

Daniel bent his head closer to hers and whispered, "Better than sex?"

She looked up at him with those startling green eyes through her thick dark lashes and purred,

"You think you can give me _anything_ in bed that's better than that cake?"

Her smile made his knees weak and his blood surge. He put his lips close to her ear.

"I think I can manage that," he answered in a voice full of promise.

"Are you sure? You did _taste_ that cake?" The look she gave him was a teasing challenge, a timeless dare woman to man.

"The least you can do is let me try," he used the hand he had at the small of her back to pull her a little closer than might be socially acceptable. "Are we going to be staying much longer?"

"I have to dance at least once with my father, and probably my uncle," she answered.

"You can dance with whomever you like, as long as the last dance of the evening with me," he answered.

Jillian tilted her head back and found him staring down at her. His eyes had become a beautiful, storm-tossed summer sky of passion.

"The last dance I have with you tonight," she promised, "won't be on the dance floor."

(0)

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Alexander North, PhD in International Diplomacy and Foreign Relations, watched his daughter dancing with the man who insisted on being called Daniel and wondered when exactly his Baby Girl had grown up to look like _that._ Yes, she looked like her mother, but there was so much more – a sparkle, a confidence and grace.

He had watched them carefully all evening long, in the practiced way he had learned over the years; cautiously sizing up a potential opponent, or ally, depending on the job he had been assigned. He had seen the way Daniel casually bent his head to listen to something Jillian whispered to him at dinner. He had seen the way her fingertips gently brushed Daniel's jaw when he did so. It had been a simple gesture of intimacy; but so brilliant in that simplicity all the glitter of the ballroom paled in comparison.

Alexander had forced himself to look away as a deep forgotten place in his heart had filled with poignancy. He had lived so long without that intimacy, without the warmth of his marriage; the comfort of being touched, and touching, the caring and respect, the moments of shared humor and endless nights of passion. He was sharply reminded of those nights when he saw the occasional looks that would pass between Daniel and Jillian – looks with enough heat to melt the elaborate ice sculptures decorating the dessert table.

All of that existed only in this deep recess of his heart; the memory alive in the only child they had created together. Jillian had been a miracle to them, after too many years of trying and being disappointed. She was no less miraculous to him now, even if the pain of having her look back at him with her mother's eyes had not diminished.

He knew Jillian had no idea how much she meant to him, and that was mostly his fault. It was hard now to watch her dancing with Daniel with the same simple intimacy that had surrounded them all night. It was quite clear he was much more than her colleague. They had danced together before and probably many times. They moved too easily as one being. It was also clear she was flirting with Daniel, and he with her. Something around them sizzled, like the scorched air after a lightning strike.

He saw Daniel whisper something in Jillian's ear and then watched as she tossed her head, chestnut hair shining, and she laughed. Alexander had a strong, sudden sensation of losing his daughter. Daniel twirled her in a circle, laughing as well and Alexander decided it was time to claim a dance with his only child.

As the strains of _Moon River_ faded and became the opening notes of _Isn't It Romantic _Alexander made his way to Daniel and Jillian and said calmly,

"Can you spare a dance for your father?"

Her smile was welcoming and Daniel smoothly stepped back. He grinned at Jillian.

"I'll go see if I can find some more of that cake," he said.

She smiled at Daniel, the kind of smile that made men fall instantly in love and whose impact did not seem lost on Daniel; and then she turned her attention to her father.

"So," he said, "I guess I understand why you're hiding out in Colorado Springs."

Jillian sighed and he felt her grow tense.

"I love my job, Dad," she stated, "If Daniel left tomorrow I'd be very sad but I'd stay in my current position."

She sounded defensive, but she almost always sounded that way when he brought up her job – or just about anything else for that matter. Alexander wondered how he could manage tricky negotiations with people in foreign countries but couldn't manage to have a simple conversation with his daughter.

"I'm just trying to understand, Jillian," he said, "One moment I was trying to talk you out of going to Iran to stop the building of a hotel that's threatening some historic site and the next you're moving to Colorado Springs and buying a condo. You haven't written any articles or published anything since Empire Lost and that was six years ago. It's not that I _want_ you crawling all over some dig site in Iran but it seems to me that you've given up everything that used to drive you."

Alexander stopped talking, took a breath and waited. He had waltzed Jillian almost entirely across the dance floor to the other side before she answered.

"I haven't given it up, Dad. I'm just on a different highway," her voice sounded so misty that Alexander's throat closed, "and it's taking me places I could barely imagine existed. Please just try to be happy for me. I have a job I love and I've met someone who makes me _very_ happy. Can't that be enough?"

Alexander considered that for a long time. He had always told himself that what he really wanted for Jillian was that she soar in her own sky; and now that she was doing that he had learned the lesson of being careful what he wished for.

"Dad," Jillian interrupted his thoughts, "Look, you and Granddad argued about your choice of a partner and you haven't really spoken in forty years. Is that what you want to do to us?"

As much as he had tried to dislike the man who had accompanied his daughter, Alexander had been unable to. Even in brief conversation Alexander had come to realize there was more to Daniel than the immediately obvious charm. There was wry humor. A brilliant intelligence looked out from behind the academic glasses. Alexander had also sensed a kind of keen vigilance. While Daniel might be fascinated by other people and eager to learn about them, his own life was something Alexander had no doubt he kept his personal life _very_ personal.

But it was also clear that Jillian adored him. Heredity had determined the startling color of her eyes. But Daniel Jackson made them light up in a way Alexander had never seen before.

"All the things I dreamed you would be, Jillian," Alexander said softly, "you _are._ So, no, I really don't want us to stop speaking to each other. I guess I just have to trust you._"_

Jillian felt tears burn and dropped her head against her father's shoulder to hide them.

"Can I ask you something about Daniel?" he said, quickly changing a conversation that had become far more emotional than he intended.

"Of course."

"How many languages does he speak? I must have heard at least half a dozen just in the last hour. Russian, Chinese, Italian, Dutch …. I lost track after that."

Jillian laughed, though her eyes were still misty. "Close to thirty, including Gaelic, which I just finished teaching him."

Alexander smiled. "Ahhh, your mother would be pleased."

Jillian looked up at him. "Would she, Dad?" Her voice was tinted with hope and uncertainty. Wariness had darkened her gaze.

Alexander pulled her a little closer and said, "Yes, she _would."_

Jillian sighed a little and looked relieved. She didn't seem to want to talk after that, so he let the dance play out to its logical conclusion and enjoyed the time he had left with his daughter. He knew it wasn't going to be long before he'd have to watch her leave in the company of the man who had her utterly enchanted.

(0)

Daniel was patient while Jillian fulfilled the rest of her social obligations. He even danced with her Aunt Jen, grateful now to a foster mother who had forced dance lessons on him when he would have rather had his nose stuck in a book. It was hard to keep his eyes off Jillian but he managed.

Finally she was ready to leave. She walked towards him in a graceful sway of blue fabric and glittering diamonds. The smile she gave him blazed so brightly Daniel felt that the stars must have been torn free of heaven and rained down on him. His breath caught and something under his ribs ached.

He found his voice by the time she reached him.

"Ready to go?"

"Yes," she answered, "I think I can finally go without violating some awful social convention."

They returned to their former place at the table to retrieve her evening bag, beside which she found a square white box emblazed with the Crowne Plaza insignia.

"What's this?" she asked, though she knew.

"My competition," he answered and his eyes held a flash of humor, reckless and intelligent. He vibrated with infectious energy.

Jillian should have been tired from the evening. She didn't enjoy state dinners and crowds of people. Instead, just being in Daniel's presence, reinvigorated her.

"Let's go home," she said.

They said a round of final goodnights. If Jillian saw Daniel talking briefly to the hotel concierge, she didn't really take any special note of it. She assumed he was asking for their car to be brought around to the street outside the hotel.

But there wasn't a limo waiting at the curb. Instead there was a white carriage with gold trim and black leather seats being pulled by a lovely white horse. Jillian stopped moving as the driver jumped down from his seat and said,

"Dr. Jackson?"

"Yes," Daniel answered.

"My name is George. I have instructions to take you back to Swann House, the scenic way," the man smiled. Then he opened the carriage door and gestured them inside with a practiced flourish.

Daniel reached for Jillian's hand but she was standing utterly still.

"What is this?" she asked.

Daniel's expression was warm as a day in summer. "I thought you might like this better than the car. It's quieter. The cherry blossoms are still in bloom around the mall. I thought it might be a way to decompress a little bit."

Jillian was staring at him, transfixed. A little speechless, she walked to the carriage and got in. The leather seat was soft but cold. By the time Daniel had finished talking to the driver and climbed in chills had risen on her arms. It was spring in DC, but the evenings were still cool.

"You're cold," he observed, needlessly and then shrugged out of his jacket, "Here."

"You'll get cold!" she protested.

Daniel looked down at the light shining on her auburn hair and the creamy skin of her shoulders, the hint of her breasts and the dark shadow between them.

"No," he said, softly, "I don't think I'll be cold."

She leaned forward so he could put his jacket around her shoulders. It was silk-lined and soft, still warm from his body and his distinctive, clean scent still clung to it. Jillian was instantly wrapped in both. Daniel put the cake box on the seat, sat down next to her and put his arm around her. She snuggled closer and sighed a little. The carriage lurched forward and then settled into an easy rhythm.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

Jillian turned and looked up at him.

"It's perfect," she murmured.

Slowly she undid his tie and loosened his collar, the deliberate, sensual movements of her fingers sending tiny shockwaves up his spine. She ran her hand up to touch the smooth skin of his throat, rested her palm there and let her thumb brush just below his jaw, where his pulse beat a little unsteadily. Daniel bent his head just enough to lightly kiss the corner of her mouth.

Her hand dropped to his thigh but he reached across and wrapped his fingers around hers. His hand was strong and smooth, calloused only where the tools of archaeology had scarred him. She could feel the tension running through him, as if he was fighting to remain still, struggling not to pull her closer and kiss her more deeply.

Jillian shivered in a way that had nothing to do with being cold. Her body reacted with an intimate flare of longing. She closed her eyes and leaned back, letting her head fall naturally into the hollow of his shoulder. She wanted to kiss him; and she wanted him to kiss her – in that way he had that was exciting, sublime in wickedness and passion and even a kind of innocence.

"You seemed much calmer since you danced with you father," Daniel observed. It sounded casual, but she knew he was curious.

"Do I?" she asked.

"Yes," he insisted, "and I have to admit that isn't what I was expecting after an 'up close and personal' encounter with your father."

Jillian thought about that for a moment. As the carriage turned onto the beautifully lit National Mall with its trees and memorials and marble buildings she said,

"I guess I am calmer," though to herself she added _about Dad anyway_, "We talked and cleared the air about a few things. He likes you."

Daniel made a noise in his throat that might have been self derision.

"I passed the 'Dad-test'?" he asked.

Jillian smiled. "It seems you did. Was there ever any doubt?"

There was a pause, an odd hesitation. They passed under a streetlamp and Jillian looked up at him. The corners of his eyes had creased and he was gazing inward. She knew he was giving serious consideration to sharing whatever thought he was going through his head, so she waited. He would either say it or change the subject.

"I never had to win over someone's father," he said, finally. His voice shook a little at first but he got it under control, "Sha're's father _gave_ her to me. I was more certain that he liked me than I was _she _did."

Jillian squeezed his hand and gazed him with her full concentration. She always did when he shared these confidences with her. He gazed back from those frank sky blue eyes, so vulnerable and so full of wisdom won at the cost of unbearable pain; eyes that told her he still believed in dreams.

"Of course," he continued, trying to lighten the mood again, "I guess it helped that he thought I was a god."

"In this case," Jillian said, "It's the daughter who thinks you're a god."

Daniel laughed a little.

"A Norse one I hope?" he said.

"I would say Thor," she answered, "except that I know exactly what Thor looks like."

Daniel laughed again but then cast a meaningful look at the carriage driver. They had taken this conversation as far as they could, probably already farther than they should. Jillian nodded. Daniel pressed a sweet kiss against her hair and she could feel that he was still smiling.

They didn't say anything as the carriage finished its tour of the Mall and headed for the side streets that would take them back to the Bed and Breakfast. Jillian reached for the cake box and opened it. Lacking anything to take a bite with, she dipped into with one finger and offered it to him.

Daniel hesitated for a moment but she was gazing at him with those fire-lit emerald eyes and it took it as a dare. Slowly he licked frosting and bits of cake off her finger.

_Damn,_ he thought, _that _is _good._

Mesmerized he watched as she dipped her finger in again. He watched as she put it in her mouth, swallowed and almost purred. She licked the last of it away and looked at him from under her lashes. Desire, hot and urgent, surged.

"Think you can top that?" she asked.

"If you're willing to let me," he replied.

Jillian reached up to cup the back of his head in her hand, drawing him down until his mouth found hers. The kiss was subdued, restrained, but full of exquisite tenderness and promise.

If it was her answer, it was everything he could have hoped for.

(0)


	19. Chapter 19

By the time the carriage pulled up outside of the Swann House Daniel was afraid that if he and Jillian so much as looked at each other they would strike sparks of desire so brilliant it would spook the horse.

He paid the driver and thanked him sincerely for coming out so late. While he did that, Jillian had been unable to resist petting the horse. Daniel had discovered that she loved animals, not that either of them able to have more than his aquarium at the moment. Then she had offered George her own thanks and a heart-melting smile of gratitude. As the carriage rolled away into the night, Daniel held open the door of Swann House for her.

But he still didn't dare touch her. Not yet. That was going to have to wait until they were safely behind the door of the Shanghai'd Away.

And even then, he waited. In silence, she hung his jacket over the back of the chair. They stepped out of their shoes and he smiled at her a little when she sighed in relief and dug her toes into the plush carpet. He took his glasses off and set them on the small table in the entrance way, next to the cake box. He took the moment to set the dimmer on the overhead light to something more romantic.

By the time he turned back around him, Jillian was coming towards him with a sensual rustle of silk and chiffon. The fabric swayed and danced around her long, elegant legs. Daniel had been trying not to notice that all evening. Now he stared and stood frozen in anticipation.

When she was standing in front of him, Jillian pulled off the length of his tie and dropped it on the bench at the foot of the bed. She stood up a little on tiptoe to kiss the underside of his jaw and pressed against him as she dropped back to her feet, kissing his throat all the way down to his collar bone.

Then she started on his shirt, opening it slowly to kiss and suckle and lick the exposed skin. She lingered on a particularly sensitive place, teasing with teeth and tongue, as she dragged his shirt out of his waist band and finished undoing it. His sudden intake of breath was unmistakable in its pleasure. Chills rose on his skin.

Daniel could no longer stand still. He slid his fingers into her hair and forced her head up to kiss him with barely contained savagery; lips, teeth and tongues possessive and passionate.

Jillian pulled away first, just before the need to breathe almost overwhelmed him. She turned and lifted her hair out of the way with one graceful hand so he could unzip her dress. It was part of the ritual they had developed after many evenings spent dining dancing. It still didn't fail to send blood rushing through his veins. Daniel's fingers slid the dress open inch by careful inch while he feathered kisses across her shoulders and sucked gently at the base of her neck. Warm breath touched her skin. Heat and desire flowed from him as the back of his hand skated against her corset, burning her through the sheer fabric. He stopped at the base of her spine, reached around and caught the dress just before it slipped off. He held it in fists, his thumbs brushing the tips of her breasts. She turned her head enough to let their lips meet in another passionate kiss, while he teased her with exquisite tenderness.

Daniel let go of the dress and it slithered to the floor in a pool of royal blue. Jillian turned and put her arms around his neck, still kissing but only for a moment longer. She stepped back and reached for his wrists, dealing easily with one cuff link and then the other before walking away to deposit them in the box on the dresser. Reverently she picked up her dress and laid it over his jacket on the chair.

Underneath the dress she was all black lace, silk stockings and intimate promises. Diamonds still glittered at her throat, ears and wrists. Daniel was transfixed but not enough to stand still any longer. He shrugged his shirt off. Jillian's eyes were sultry, hungry, as it slid away from his broad shoulders and down his beautifully muscled arms. Her breathing had become a little unsteady. Her breasts rose and fell beneath the black corset and he found that endlessly fascinating.

Daniel was beyond aroused already. Hiding that would have been next to impossible, even if the silky fabric of his pants wasn't conspiring against him. But Jillian was no less aroused, even if it was easier to conceal.

He couldn't bare the distance between them. So he crossed it in two long strides. The muscles in his arms flexed hard as he pulled her to him, crushed her silk and lace covered breasts against his chest. He kissed her deeply but with a strangely uncertain fervor. Wanting to reassure him, Jillian touched his naked skin as if he was a revelation, gliding her palms and fingers over his superbly honed arms, the long hard column of his back and across his broad shoulders. He burned with his own light, lithe and powerful, upright and proud.

Daniel caressed her back, held her tight with one arm around her waist. His other hand dropped low to stroke the top of her thigh, just above the band of lace holding up her stockings. His fingers left chills and flames behind.

Her hands locked on his forearms suddenly.

"_Daniel."_

It was the first sound either of them had uttered since entering the room and it throbbed with a kind of desperation that startled him.

He leaned back to look at her, breathing hard and anxious.

"_What?_"

The look she gave him was poignant and filled with longing.

"I need you to take the lead tonight," she whispered. A blush the color of the sunrise rose from her breasts, stained her throat and moved up into her temples. She looked soft and vulnerable, feminine and sweet as a sugar confection

Daniel's eyebrows climbed to his hairline. Sky blue eyes opened wide. He cradled the side of her face in his hand for a moment.

"That's…different," he said.

Usually the process of stripping him out of evening wear drove Jillian straight into an aggressive, dominant side of her personality – a side he had come to greatly appreciate.

"Do you mind?"

"Does it have something to do with that cake?" he asked, head tilted, brow furrowed.

She laughed like a wind chime in a soft autumn breeze.

"No," she shook her head. Her hair brushed her shoulders and back."It's just what I need tonight."

_Need._ She had used the word twice now. Daniel was suddenly fired not just with desire but with compassion. His single goal for the entire evening had been to make Jillian happy. He brushed hair away from her forehead in a gesture that was wonderful and tender. Then he took her face between both of his hands and kissed her.

"_How shall I fix you_," he murmured and then kissed her ear, "_fire you, freeze you," _he paused andbrushed his lips against her eyelids, _"Break my heart at your feet to please you?"_

Jillian was trembling violently by the time he was done, clinging to him like a rose to a trellis.

"Robert Browning," she guessed. "When did you start reading his poetry?"

Daniel was busy teasing the spot behind her ear that drove her crazy.

"Seventh grade AP English. I had to memorize it," he explained absently.

Jillian clung to his shoulders as she tilted her head back to offer more of her body to his seeking mouth.

"I don't want to break your heart, Daniel," she whispered.

"I'm pretty sure you never will," his voice was husky as he trailed warm breath and soft lips down her neck, "But I would do just about anything to please you."

She smiled a little and reached for his belt.

"Could we have off with the rest of your clothes then?" she asked, with a spark of her former aggression.

"Whatever you want."

While she worked on his belt, Daniel took his socks off by standing on the toes and dragging them off. It wasn't elegant but it was efficient. Her eyes slid over him like a caress. He was naked, male, potent and astonishingly beautiful.

"Turn around," he said.

She did so and Daniel gathered her hair and laid it over one shoulder so he could unlace her corset. His fingers, deft and agile, moved step by step down her back until he could cast it aside. With one hand spread against the lovely, tight skin of her abs, he pulled her back against him. He slid one finger between the wide band of lace at the top of her stocking and the smooth skin of her leg.

"These should come off," he whispered in her ear, "But I think you should do it."

"You don't want to?" she asked.

"I don't trust myself to get them off in one piece," he answered."They look expensive." His fingers did a long slow appreciative slide down her outer thigh. "They _feel_ expensive."

Jillian gave him a sultry look and moved over to the bench at the end of the bed. The room was small so she didn't have to go very far, but he had noticed that Jillian always seemed to know exactly how far she could get from him before he couldn't see her very well any more. She might want him to lead, but that didn't mean she had forgotten how to be seductive. She placed her foot on the bench and slowly stripped away one stocking; then switched feet to do the same to the other.

All the blood in Daniel's body made a heated rush to his groin, leaving his ears ringing and his heart thundering in his chest.

She stood up and faced him, unabashedly female and willing, dressed only in slender strands of diamonds and a strip of black lace panties.

"These too?" she asked.

"Please," he said, trying to sound like he was still in control.

Black lace joined black silk stockings on the floor.

Daniel held out his hand.

"Come here," he said.

Their fingers touched and heat sizzled. He clasped his hand around hers and pulled her once more into his embrace with nothing between them now but passion. Holding her clenched in one arm, he ran one hand down over her waist and pulled her long leg up around his hip.

She was wet and warm and erotic as hell.

Jillian flung her arms around his neck and used the leverage to lift up, pressing against him. She made small, desperate sounds with her mouth against his.

In an agony of desire, Daniel picked her up with one arm and moved them both to the bed. Still holding her wrapped around him like a vine, he flung back the covers and laid her down on soft sheets. She settled on her back, her head nestled on pillows, hair fanned out like a flow of lava.

Daniel had trained carefully, and then spent most of his adult life, handling things that were rare and delicate and precious. He brought all that experience to bear now. Cradling her in one arm he kissed her hot, open mouth and ran his hand over her arm and shoulder. He stroked the base of her throat and continued down to fill his hand with her breasts, heavy and full. Breaking the kiss he lowered his head to suckle the tips, sweet and rough beneath his tongue, excited and resilient.

Jillian sighed and moaned and then cried out as he teased more deliciously, lingering a long time. His fingers made light swirling patterns on her lower belly. Her fingers gripped the back of his head. Her breathing shattered.

"_Oh, god, Dan…."_

His fingers drifted lower, found her moist and open. He touched her with delicious tenderness, knowing exactly where she was the most sensitive; and every where he touched flames burned.

"_Don't stop,"_ she begged,"_Oh god, Dan, so…close…so…don't stop."_

He tormented her with sweet delight, carnal and passionate until it culminated in a rush of ecstasy so intense Jillian turned her head to bury her face against his shoulder, whimpering over and over, clutching his arms.

"_Dan," _she gasped his name like a prayer.

She rolled over, curled up tight. Daniel draped one leg over hers, holding her while she shook and convulsed and clung to him.

Though his own body still thundered and throbbed, Daniel allowed himself the moment of simple male satisfaction at having pleased the woman he loved. He knew he was smiling a little triumphantly when she finally began to calm and looked up at him.

Her skin was flushed and the edges of her hair were damp. Her expression was filled with a kind of wildly contented joy.

"_God, Daniel_," she murmured.

He caressed her hair, kissed her forehead.

"More?" he asked.

Jillian smiled a little wickedly. Her fingers slid down over his abs, tickled the sensitive skin over the cut of his hip until his breath hitched in his next thing he knew she was stroking his inflamed cock with gentle, questing fingers. It was his turn to groan, to throw his head back and grind his teeth together.

"I… thought….you wanted…._me_…to lead," he gasped.

"It doesn't mean I don't want to touch you," her velvet voice was a sultry caress as her other hand joined in.

Daniel was unable to say anything for several long moments. He might know all of her secret, sensitive places now; but she also knew all of _his._ Pressure where he loved it, friction where he needed it, her thumb _there,_ exactly right…_oh god just right….._

"_God in heaven, Jill, stop,"_ he pleaded, dragging coherence back from the brink of oblivion.

"I thought you liked it," she teased, pausing but not entirely letting go.

"I _do,"_ he answered, pressing forward until she was lying once more on her back. She _knew _he did and she had good reason to know it. There had been times when he'd surrendered to her completely, only to wind up with his fists clenching sheets, his head thrashing and his own breathless voice begging her to please, _please_ just let him come_._

"On any other day I might let you finish," he continued. He looked down at her and his eyes burned with intensity. "But it isn't what I want now."

She gazed up at him, languid.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I want you," he said, naked desire sizzled in his voice.

"You have me."

There was barely time to finish murmuring that before his mouth claimed hers with demanding passion. Jillian kissed him back with abandon, trusting him to set her on fire again before seeking his own release.

His hands roamed while he kissed her, sculpted her curves, moved over her abs and swirled around her navel until she broke the kiss, gasping for air. He smiled a little and lowered his head to kiss the place between her breasts where her heart was beating madly just below the surface. He breathing skipped and then settled into a long, shallow pattern.

His touch roamed over her flanks and the dip of her waist, up over her breasts again – shapes and curves that filled him with erotic delight. His hands worshipped. His lips and warm breathing whispered of adoration. His arousal was pressed hard against her thigh, proclaiming how much he wanted her. Sheer determination kept his hips still.

Daniel knew the moment when she had caught fire again. Her palms swept from his shoulders to his hips, clenched and pulled him forward. He tried to roll onto his back, to bring her above him. But she whimpered a denial and wriggled under him.

"Hold me," she whispered.

Filled with passion and the overwhelming need to protect her, he complied. Covering her body with his own, taking her in his arms until she was crushed against him, Daniel held her. She opened just enough for him to bring them together, sliding into slick hot welcoming depths and shifting together until he was fully sheathed.

Jillian moaned softly and tucked her arms into her sides, her hands on his ribs, her forehead against his shoulder and her face buried in the hollow.

"Jill?" he whispered.

"Make love to me, Daniel," she whispered back, lifting her hips to drive him deeper.

Every movement he made from that point on was meant to torment, to slowly dance and lead and linger. Slow and smooth; then short and fast….. Exquisite… rapturous….clever….imaginative. Daniel stretched the boundaries of what he knew of sensuality; even of what he knew of love and tenderness.

He knew the moment when she was lost in him again. He felt the intensity of her pleasure. He felt her nails dig into the skin over his ribs. She gasped and cried a single name – _his_ name – as she climaxed again and again.

This time he couldn't stop himself and didn't try. He wanted that moment of shared ecstasy. Pleasure seized him, poured from him, deep within her. Their mutual climax rolled in long, constant waves, like a moon-pulled tide. Wonder seized him and he didn't know if he would ever be coherent again.

In a blind trance, Daniel collapsed onto his side and gathered her into his arms, draping his leg over hers. He opened his eyes slowly and found forest-wild eyes gazing back at him from under sleepy lids. He brushed her hair back from her forehead, dragged the back of his hand down her arm and then let his palm rest on her hip.

Those green eyes continued to watch him like a tiger from the depths of the jungle.

"So?" he asked finally.

Her eyebrow lifted.

"Better than that cake?"

She laughed and put her arm around his neck. Kissing the corner of his mouth she said, with genuine tenderness and satisfaction.

"That cake never stood a chance."

Jillian snuggled close then, closed her eyes and let him cocoon her in warmth. He watched as she drifted into a light, satiated, contented sleep.

The realization of what was happening between them settled over him. He had fallen in love with a woman who was at times too amazing and too lovely for him to comprehend. What they shared now was almost too profound to be shared with another human being. It had forged a bond between them that might never be broken.

The thought filled him with warmth and trepidation at the same time. Their lives were not without risks. He had already died, twice, and been presumed dead countless times.

Daniel held her a little closer and stared, unseeing, at the ceiling.

He made a silent wish to the universe. If there was any kindness or justice to be given to them, his own heart would break at her feet before he would break hers.

(0)


	20. Chapter 20

**Right after the events of Ascension, while Sam is suspected of having 'exhaustion' and SG1 is on stand down.**

**(0)**

"We did it," Daniel observed.

He looked across the small dining table, past the flickering candles and small spray of fresh flowers into the eyes of the woman he was in love with.

Jillian smiled. "We cooked dinner," she agreed.

It was almost possible now to ignore the dark bruise on her cheek. Almost. It had been much worse the first time he had seen it. Then it had been dark and ugly and red. Though it hadn't broken the skin, Daniel had wondered how her cheekbone hadn't been broken by the backhanded blow. Now it was faded to shades of purple and gray.

The purple imprints of fingerprints still branded her arms, her neck and her wrists. The knowledge filled Daniel with another moment of livid fury against the people of P9X-1212, the ones who had attacked and imprisoned and beaten Jillian and Rusty Davidson.

It could happen on any world and Daniel knew that. A miscommunication, a misunderstanding of cultural taboos and the next thing that happened could be bad – _very_ bad – for any SG team. In this case Rusty and Jillian had done nothing more than investigate a towering statue in an isolated grotto. How were they supposed to know that the natives didn't consider that statue a just representation of their god? In this case it literally_ was_ their god and approaching it was forbidden.

But they could have posted a sign or something.

It had taken Colonel Mallory and Scotty hours to rescue them; hours in which they had been overdue to check in and Daniel had thought he would go mad from waiting. When the blaring klaxon and off world activation announcement had sounded, he had gone straight to the Control Room, where he found Jack and Hammond already waiting. Harriman's calm announcement that it was SG8's IDC had caused a rush of equal parts relief and dread to churn inside him.

Dread had turned to icy terror when he saw Scotty carrying Jillian through the event horizon. Rusty had been covered in blood and clinging to Mallory but at least he had been on his feet.

Daniel didn't remember running down the stairs or into the Gate Room but the next thing he knew he was helping Scotty lay Jillian down on the cold metal ramp. Fresh blood streamed down her face from the gash on her temple. Her torn and bloody clothes and the black finger prints on her wrists had made Daniel's chest tighten with fear.

_Jillian….._

He had demanded to know what the hell had happened but before he got an answer, her eyes had opened and she had been reaching for him.

_Daniel …. _

_It's all right, gràidheag, I'm here. Lie still._

She had lost consciousness after that and spent two days in the infirmary. The rage and fear had stayed with him until she'd finally woken up enough to tell them everything that had happened. Rusty had given his own report of course, but Daniel wasn't satisfied until he'd heard it from Jillian.

He was relieved to find out that she had _only _been beaten.

Because he _knew_ what it was like to be used against your will for someone else's purpose; and even though he had been the one at the mercy of a Goa'uld that time, for the most part they all knew the women on the SG teams were at a slightly greater risk than the men. It wasn't fair, but there it was.

The idea of someone's hand around Jillian's throat, of someone backhanding her, holding her down… It still filled him with a kind of impotent rage that would surely work itself out in his nightmares at some point.

He contained the emotions with no small effort and forced his mind back to the matter at hand – which was creating a normal, quiet evening at home with Jillian.

"Angel hair pasta, meat sauce, tossed salad," Daniel went on in a voice that was soft and soothing, "homemade salad dressing."

"Opened a bottle of wine," Jillian added. She was looking at him with her head lowered a little bit, through those incredible lashes, like a satisfied cat peering at him from under a rose bush. In spite of the bruises, the look still made his heart hammer.

"Yeah, well I knew how to do that already," Daniel managed to grin a little. "But you made cheesecake! From scratch even."

They had decided to learn to cook, having concluded that they really weren't that helpless.

Jillian scraped the last of the graham cracker crumbs off her plate and licked the fork. She set the fork down, though she hadn't missed the look on Daniel's face when she had been using her tongue to clean it off. She wondered how easily he could be distracted tonight. He was worried about Sam (after just recently getting done being worried about Teal'c); and she had seen him glancing often enough at the bandage covering the stitches under her hairline, and trying _not _to look at the fading bruise on her cheek, to know that her recent close call off world was still bothering him.

The episode hadn't been pleasant. They had tortured Rusty in front of her. Her own punishment for desecrating a sacred space had amounted to beatings and being shoved into a pitch dark isolation cell, where she had fallen down stone steps, hurt her back and cracked her head. She suspected they had more planned but Mallory and Scotty had rescued them before it happened.

She had made it to the Gate with Scotty's help. He had set her down to dial Earth and she had passed into semi-consciousness at that point. Only vaguely aware, she hadn't protested when he had picked her up and carried her through the wormhole.

Then there had been Daniel's voice demanding to know what happened and needing to touch him to let him know she was alive; and he had told her everything was all right and she needed to lie still. So she had.

The next thing she remembered was waking up in the infirmary with Daniel sitting beside her, his head pillowed on his arms on the bed, sound asleep. Scotty had been on her other side. When they both moved, Daniel had woken up.

She had been released from the Infirmary, though Fraser made her stay on the Base for a few more days. The first night in Daniel's quarters, he had wrapped her in his bathrobe, tucked her into his bed and held her while she wept.

_His _robe, _his _bed….. The symbolism hadn't been lost on her.

_Mine._

She had slept for a while and when she had woken up he had taken her in that bed and it had been …. Different. Not just sex, not their usual love making, not even one of the times it was just about slowly driving each other slowly insane with need. He had been gentle, careful, tender to the point of breaking her heart.

But it had been possession. She had belonged to him and she had surrendered; surrendered willing to the alpha male that had been unleashed from his soul. Unable to extract any kind of vengeance on the men who had hurt her, he had simply reclaimed her. He had kept her under him, controlled every moment and made her climax in ways that had her crying out and in ways that had her softly moaning. Daniel's every touch, his every movement, and his every whispered endearment had proclaimed it.

_**Mine.**_

Now they were home, off the Base, at her condo, trying to make life normal again.

Daniel had been a saint all evening – sweet and attentive, protective, keeping her thoughts from straying. His eyes had been ocean blue and calm, like water, rising up all around her, washing over her soul bit by bit. Daniel was like the tide coming in to coax her out to sea. Looking across her dining table at him now and finding him looking back at her – like she was the only star in his heavens – Jillian decided that tonight it wouldn't be a bad thing to drown.

She leaned forward, pushing her plate away and folding her arms on the table. His eyes swept over her.

"Do we have any other plans for this evening?" she asked.

"Well," he spoke slowly as he leaned forward and matched her position, "Last night this stunningly gorgeous archaeologist let me make love to her and I was hoping to do that again, maybe even more than once."

Jillian smiled. He might still think they had made love last night but she knew differently.

"I think we have some work to do first," she observed.

"What could possibly be so important that it would have to come before a repeat of last night?" he asked.

"Don't be so cocky, Jackson," she said, in a pseudo-sultry voice. "We may have produced an entirely edible and enjoyable meal but have you seen the kitchen?"

"What's wrong with the kitchen?" Daniel asked. His expression was blank, puzzled. He'd _been_ in the kitchen. He'd helped make all this.

Jillian stood, walked to the door and beckoned him with one finger. Usually when she did that she was standing outside the bedroom door. Curious, he pushed his chair back and got up.

He looked into the room – into the shambles of what was usually a very organized, gleaming immaculate kitchen; a kitchen that usually only knew the assault of take out bags and pizza boxes.

Daniel's jaw dropped open and his eyes widened. There was a stack of dirty dishes and pots in the sink. Every possible surface was stained with food. Bits of pasta were draped over everything. There was some bizarre looking machine caked with some molded on creamy goo. The center island was strewn with limp pieces of lettuce, egg shells and left over bits of other vegetables. Knives, spoons and forks were everywhere. Flour coated the counter.

"_Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung__,__"_ he blurted out.

"Uh-huh," Jillian agreed, leaning on the door jamb.

"It looks like drunken monkeys have been in here!" The exclamation left him in a single rushed gasp.

"You got spaghetti sauce on the ceiling," she pointed out.

Daniel looked up at the space above the stove top.

"Okay, wait, isn't that cream cheese and egg up there too?"

Jillian looked sheepish. A colorful flush tinted her skin.

"It helps to put the top on the Cuisanart," she said. "I'm not sure how the pasta got stuck to the wall."

For a moment there was absolute silence. Then Daniel began to laugh in a freefall of masculine delight, deepening as he lost control even further. Jillian watched him for a moment with a smile pulling insistently at the corner of her mouth. She loved his laughter and heard it so very rarely. At least she didn't hear it quite like this; and it had been a long time since they'd had anything to laugh about.

It didn't take long for her to join him. His laughter was infectious and she collapsed into giggles. Daniel reached forward and caught her around the waist, pulling her into his arms. She landed against him off balance, laughing helplessly. He pulled his glasses off and buried his face in her hair. His laughter rumbled in his chest, tickling her ear and her neck. Careful of her bandaged temple, Jillian tucked her head in against him and muffled her giggling.

"How…" he paused to catch his breath, "How in the world did we make such a mess?"

Daniel put his glasses back on and looked once more into the room. Laughter cascaded out of him again. Jillian clung to him, warm and secure in his embrace. She felt as if the sun had come out again after a long bleak time of rain.

"I don't know," she admitted, "But I can plead head injury. I don't know what your excuse is.'

"Well, we have to clean it all up or our cleaning service will quit." He was gazing around the room in a somewhat awed manner. "This is truly….."

"Epic," she supplied.

Daniel let go of her but only to cradle her face between his hands, tender and gentle, and kiss her. Jillian felt weak and soft, wanting to lay her heart and her body in his hands. Between the laughter and the kiss something inside both of them was reborn.

"You think if we just turn off the lights the elves will come during the night and take care of it?" she asked.

"I don't think it works that way," he answered.

"This is why take out is easier," she observed.

Jillian glanced at him and found him looking back. Take out may be easier, but it had never inspired the kind of soul cleansing laughter they had just shared. The light of it still danced in his eyes and Jillian felt the pull of it. The ocean swept her out to sea.

"I'll get the spray cleaner and the rags," she said.

"I'll get the haz-mat suits," he answered and laughter surged to the surface again like bubbles in champagne.

They cleared the table, dealt with the mess in the sink enough to get it into Jillian's dishwasher and then started on the walls, floors, ceilings, cabinets…..

With a bottle of cleaner and a rag in hand, Daniel climbed up the step ladder to tackle the ceiling. With the efficiency they had learned as members of the SGC, everything was cleaned up so that the kitchen was once again sparkling. Daniel put the ladder away in the slim cabinet that held mops and brooms, gathered rags and tossed them into the laundry room sink.

He stood and surveyed the fruits of their labors with some satisfaction.

Jillian was still on her knees, leaning back on her heels and finishing scraping the last of the spaghetti sauce off the cabinet by the fridge.

"I still can't believe there was sauce on the ceiling," he said, shaking his head.

She looked up at him and mischief danced in her eyes with such sparkle that he felt a thrill of alarm.

Jillian's eyes swept him from head to toe and back up, until she was looking into his eyes again. In a low, husky, sexy, teasing whisper she observed

"It's not the first thing you've hit the wall with."

Heat flashed over him. A flush of color rose into his neck and face.

"_Jillian!" _He tried to sound shocked and succeeded only in starting to laugh again.

He crossed the short distance between them in two powerful strides, reached for her hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Come here," he said, in a voice melted with affection and mirth. "Kiss me."

She rose, tossing the sponge in the sink as she did. Daniel's hands caressed her shoulders and down her back as he gathered her into his arms, held her tightly and gave her kiss filled with heat and hunger.

Jillian tilted her head up to meet him and felt her back give a sharp twinge. She couldn't quite stop a hiss of discomfort.

Daniel broke the kiss and looked at her sharply. His eyes were suddenly more protective than amused.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said, trying to pull him back into a kiss.

"Jill." It was warning and plea."You're still hurting."

"Just a little," she hedged.

His brow creased.

"Come here," he said again.

Taking her hand he left the kitchen, paused only long enough to blow out the candles on the table and then led her to the bedroom.

Once there, Daniel took the cord for the phone land line out of the wall and turned off both their cell phones. While she stood in the middle of the room and watched him with a bemused and curious expression, he lit some candles, turned the lights down and pulled the covers down on the bed.

"Sit." It could have sounded like a command but came out as a smooth auditory caress.

Gingerly, Jillian sat on the edge of the bed. Daniel kicked his shoes off and disposed of his socks. His glasses were placed carefully on the nightstand. Then he pulled his sweater over his head. He had started on his belt when she spoke.

"Leave the rest on," she said.

Her eyes drank him in - naked from the waist up, clothed only in a pair of pants that emphasized his long, long legs and slim hips. Jillian's heart skipped, fluttered and then settled into a mad rhythm. He was so shatteringly beautiful – the corded arms, the flat, right defined abs, the hard flare of muscle and skin over his chest and ribs.

Daniel gave her a smoky blue look in return before disappearing briefly into the bathroom and returning with a bottle of lavender oil and one of her hair clips.

He put them both on the end table and said,

"Lift your arms."

She complied and he gently pulled her sweatshirt over her head, careful of her injuries. The lowered lights helped hide the bruises and he didn't let his gaze linger there; nor did he let it linger on the pale pink bra covering her delicious breasts. Instead he removed it, leaning down to lightly kiss her shoulder as he did. She'd kill him if he got oil all over something that looked as delicate as that cotton candy colored piece of lingerie did.

He gave her the hair clip and watched as she piled all that mass of hair up and secured it in place, exposing her lovely neck.

Kneeling on the bed behind her, he poured some of the oil into his hands warmed it for a second and then began working on the tense muscles in her shoulders.

A few seconds of that and a sudden groan of pleasure left her. He worked slowly, willing to devote all the time in the world to this. When he was sure her shoulders had started to relax he moved lower.

"Oh, _my….god," _she whispered.

"Latissimus dorsi," he said.

"What?"

He worked on the place just below her ribs, along the sides of her spine. Bent over, he couldn't resist tasting the back of her neck for a moment, tickling it with his lips and tongue.

"This muscle group," he said. "Eight grade human anatomy. You're tight as a drum, _gràidheag."_

"It's sore," she admitted.

He moved his hands over those muscles and down the sweet column of her spine.

Then he stopped.

"Jill," he said, hesitantly.

She looked over her shoulder.

"What?"

"I really need you to lie down to make this work right. I won't hurt you."

Daniel laid his hand over his heart in a gesture of swearing.

She looked away briefly. She remembered him last night – his eyes full of steel blue passion and possessiveness. He had held her arms over her head at one point, pinning them against the bed with a hand on each wrist. She could have gotten loose, combat training ensured that, but not without hurting him and she had willingly submitted.

Frankly it had been one hell of a turn on.

Slowly, Jillian stood up and turned around. She shed jeans and panties, socks and shoes and laid face down on the bed. She pillowed her head on her folded arms and closed her eyes.

Daniel was relieved when he realized she wasn't looking at him. He hadn't done a very good job of stopping the flash of anger the sight of her back caused him. It was still covered in purple and yellow bruises from her fall down the stairs. Long straight bruises marred the space between her hips, from some kind of rod most likely.

Reining in his anger, Daniel touched her with the palm of one hand, cautiously, between her shoulder blades. She flinched slightly, almost tenser than when they had started.

"Relax_, ulaidh,_" he murmured. "I won't hurt you. Relax."

He bent over to massage her shoulders again, letting his chest gently brush her side for just an instant. He exhaled softly against her skin. Hands and fingers worked down both sides of her spine, forcing away demons. Eventually her back became limber again, strong and supple.

_Daniel…..Her lover…the man who called her sweetheart in a dozen languages…..more intimate….more trusted than anyone ever before….._

Before long he had worked the tension out of her legs, leaving them stretched and languid, lingering over the soft skin of her inner thighs. So close to where she wanted him to touch her… So….Close….

"Ah, _god, leannan,"_ she whispered.

He stroked each limb, replacing tension with serenity. Every surface caressed, every muscle coaxed into luminous surrender. He leaned over to kiss her hair, the back of her neck, the tops of her shoulders.

"You're so lovely, _gràidheag."_

Jillian rolled onto her side and trawled her fingers along his pantleg, higher and higher until she was touching him lightly through fabric.

"I thought you had planned to make love to your archaeologist tonight," she said.

He leaned over again until his lips found hers for a brief kiss.

"If she'll have me," he said.

She gave him a silky brilliant smile as her fingers deftly opened his belt buckle and the front of his pants. Stroking him with tender longing, it seemed more to touch him than to arouse him.

He closed his eyes, arched his back and let her do it.

"_God_, Jackson," she purred, "You could be a porn star, you know that right?"

A short bark of laughter was her answer. For a moment, due to the wonderful movement of her hand, he couldn't say anything else.

"I"ll…I'll keep that in mind …if I ever give up my day job," he stuttered, finally.

She stopped touching him and tugged at his waistband.

"Take these off now," she said.

"Yes, ma'am," he grinned.

Stripped, his mouth found hers again in a blaze of brilliance that burned cleanly through their veins. She rolled on her back, pulling him with her, kissing and laughing.

Daniel kissed her, inhaled sharply, breathed in the delicious scent that was Jillian.

His body was more than ready and moments later it discovered hers, moist and waiting for him. He took her in a plunge of slippery, throbbing joy. They responded to each other with a kind of wild jubilation. Jillian cried out in ecstasy, her mind and body filled with him as he ravished her in a torrent of rapture.

She needed him so much, needed his kindness and devotion and the flood of his pleasure into her body.

Their mutual climax convulsed and fused them together, dissolved them into one heart.

"_Jillian_," he groaned.

"_Oh god, Dan," _she breathed_._

He collapsed onto his back and she settled against him, comfortable in his embrace. He held her cradled with one arm, his other arm over his head as he tried to regain normal breathing.

"_Daniel." _She was safe. She was _safe_.

Jillian sighed and drifted into a light sleep with her hand over his pounding heart.

Daniel held her and looked down into her beloved face. He looked at the woman who meant more to him than anyone else and thought,

_Mine….._

(0)

Someone asked me to include the translations from now on, so:

_Wuh duh ma huh tah duh fong kwong duh wai shung –_ mother of god and all her nephews.

_Gràidheag – _Sweetheart (fem), in Gaelic_._

_Ulaidh – _Gaelic term of endearment, (fem), usually translated at darling.

_Leannan – _Sweetheart, (masc) in Gaelic.


	21. Chapter 21

**Still filling in scenes during Ascension. Did Teal'c really call Daniel and invite him to go to see jello wrestling? And what was that conversation like? In this part Daniel acts like a man, and Jillian acts like a woman and chaos ensues.**

Daniel rinsed shaving cream off his razor and wiped the steam off the mirror. Before his relationship with Jillian had reached the 'staying overnight' stage, it had never bothered him that his condo had one bathroom. Now, trying to shave while she showered was a near impossibility.

Of course, before Jillian had started staying overnight, he hadn't had the privilege of hearing her lovely voice as she sang in the shower. She was currently finishing the first verse of _Comin' Through the Rye._

"_Every lassie has a laddie  
>None they say have I."<em>

Daniel grinned as her hauntingly lovely voice hit a note that would fly straight to the sun and make it come up dancing.

_Ah no, lassie,_ he thought,_ you've got this laddie for sure….._

"_Yet all the lads they smile at me_

_When comin' through the ….._ouch."

"Ouch?" Daniel repeated. He was pretty sure that wasn't the last word in that stanza.

"I cut myself shaving," she said.

He had narrowly missed the same fate a few times, but considering some of the places Jillian shaved it could be more of a problem for her.

"Are you okay?" Daniel tried to keep his tone neutral. He had been incredibly over protective the last few days and she had gotten irritated with him last night, enough to get a glimpse of her Scots/Irish temper.

_Daniel, I'm all right! Stop fussing._

_I'm not fussing…_

_Yes, you are!_

At that point she had taken a step towards him, with something in her eyes that was barely tame.

_You want me to prove I'm all right?_

Nothing to do with that challenge but let his hands follow the curve of her waist and land on her hips, urging her closer until their bodies was just brushing against each other. She had rolled her body forward, slipping her arms around his neck. Her tongue had caressed his mouth. Her long gorgeous leg had slipped up the outside of his, hooked around his thigh and pulled him closer.

Daniel's blood had gone from warm to sizzling in less than a heartbeat.

Then she had proved to him that she was feeling better, starting in the kitchen and ending much later in the bedroom.

"I'm fine, _leannan,"_ she answered him now. Then after a pause, "I nicked my shin."

"Well please be careful," he said, trying to make light of it, "I am very _very_ fond of those shins."

He was extremely fond of her legs in general but if he let his thoughts drift in that direction he might accidentally slit his own throat.

He wiped steam off the mirror again and sighed.

"Jill?"

"Yes?"

"Has it occurred to you that what we've been doing for the last few months is kind of annoying?"

The shower door flew open and she peeked out, dripping.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked.

"What? NO! _Oh my GOD no!"_

He spun sideways to look at her.

"No!"

"_Jesus, Daniel! _Don't scare me like that._"_

The shower door banged shut again. He stood there trying to catch his breath.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"What?"

"What's been annoying the last few months?"

"OH! Yeah…. _This_….."

"This?"

"This going back and forth between two condos, forgetting stuff at one or the other, having to come here just to feed the fish. You've got stuff all over the place – here, your condo, the Base. We've got two sets of recycling to remember, we pay the cleaning service to clean two of everything. I can never remember which hamper I threw which shirt into."

The door slid open, more gently this time.

"You never throw your clothes in the hamper. You throw them on the floor. If they hit a hamper, it's because I put them there. Are you saying we should live together?"

"Sweetheart, we're naked in the same bathroom at 6:30 in the morning. We _already_ live together. We need to get all our stuff in the same place and make our lives easier."

"Is that the only reason? To make things easier?"

Ut-oh. Daniel hesitated. He had a feeling Jillian had abruptly starting speaking 'female' and that was the one language he had never mastered.

_Danger, Daniel Jackson!_ A little warning bell in his head clanged urgently. It hadn't occurred to him that Jillian might need an emotional reason to move in together. He'd assumed the practical and logical aspects would appeal to the scientist in her; that she would weigh the evidence and arrive at the same conclusion that he had.

Whatever he said next could land him in some serious emotional hot water.

But he also had a feeling that blurting out 'I love you' at the moment wasn't going to win him any points either. It was hardly the romantic moment he'd been envisioning.

Butterflies took flight in his stomach.

"It's time we took this to the next level don't you think?" he said, cautiously. When he didn't get an immediate response he said, "I want this. I want you in my life. I want to come home to you every night and not have to worry about where I left my uniform shirt. It's distracting me from what's important when I get to be home for a while- and that's _you_."

A smile ghost across her face and she shut the shower door again. Daniel exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. _Have mercy…._

"All of my stuff isn't going to fit in your place," she said, "and vice versa. We'll need five bedrooms just for the books"

"No," he said slowly, "I was thinking we could find a place together; a bigger condo, or even a house."

Silence. Nothing but the water running and the occasional _splat _that meant she was rinsing her hair. Daniel waited and finished shaving while he wondered if his knees were melting. He'd really had no idea this conversation was going to be so stressful.

The water shut off and the door slid open. One graceful arm emerged.

"Can you hand me a towel, _leannan_?" she asked.

_Leannan_… okay, she wasn't mad at him. He brought her the towel that had been hanging right over the heater vent and was still warm.

"A house might be nice."

"I was thinking the same thing," Daniel agreed, "Condos tend to have HOA fees for things like pools and gyms and we have those on the Base."

"And I would really like not having people right up against the walls and ceiling," she commented. "In a house I could have a garden maybe."

She sounded so wistful that his heart clenched.

"You can have whatever you want," he swore.

"Rent or buy?"

The butterflies in his stomach rioted.

"Renting seems like a waste, especially if we want it to be our own." Every word made him feel like he was tip toeing through a minefield.

The shower door opened again and Jillian stepped out, with the towel wrapped around her and tucked between the lovely swell of her breasts, emphasizing the shadow between them; tall, soft, feminine, long hair sleeked back, wet as a seal with the light shining copper and chestnut in it. Her remarkable eyes studied him from under her arched brows; glass green, wide and mysterious as the deep ocean. Long, long legs rose and vanished under the lower edge of the towel.

_God, Jillian, _he thought, _tell me what you want and I'll lay it at your feet._

As if she had read his mind, Jillian said, "If we're looking for a house maybe we don't need five bedrooms, just a room large enough to turn into a library; and we need bigger office space."

A library, office space….. Now they were speaking the same language again.

"That would be…..very cool," Daniel said.

Jillian walked over to him, braced her hands on his bare shoulders, rose up on her toes a little and kissed him. He kissed her back, letting his hands come to rest lightly on her hips. He kissed her delicately, softly – the corner of her mouth, the edge of her jaw – and then bent over enough to lightly kiss her throat and shoulder.

"We'll be late for work," she observed, eyes closed, leaning back so he could reach her throat more easily.

"We could stay at the SGC tonight," he murmured, "Put this on hold until then."

Jillian didn't say anything. She just pulled him into a kiss full of hunger and the promise of passion. It was all the answer he had hoped it would be.

(0)

Daniel was on the phone when Jillian came in the door of his office.

"Yeah, I know. Yeah, I promise I'll call you when I have something."

There was a pause and then he hung up. He slumped back in his chair. A deep inverted V appeared between his brows and he stared at some point between him and the desk that only he could see. His shoulders set with tension and Jillian could feel him withdrawing.

She walked into the room and pushed some books and a rolled map off the corner of the table. Daniel's condo was usually cluttered, though thanks to the cleaning service, it was livable. His office always looked like it qualified for Federal disaster relief.

Once she had cleared a space on the table, she put down her books and her laptop, settled her hip on the edge of the table and perched there, waiting.

"Sam?" she guessed, finally, when he didn't say anything.

"Yeah," he answered.

He still remained quiet, much too quiet.

"Is she all right?" she prompted.

Daniel swept his gaze sideways to look at her. In the dim light his eyes had dilated almost to black circled by a slender ring of passionate blue.

"She's bored," he said, bluntly.

"God save us," Jillian whispered, not entirely joking. A bored Samantha Carter was a frightening thing.

Jillian studied Daniel closely.

"You're worried," she said.

"I am and I'm not," he answered.

Jillian lifted an eyebrow quizzically.

"In five years Sam has never passed out on a mission; not even when we've gone days without sleep. To have her collapse on a routine recon with new technology to explore? That just doesn't add up to 'Sam' at all," Daniel explained.

"So that's why you're worried," Jillian concluded.

He nodded and then looked down to study his hands for a moment; long fingered, masculine hands that had held the secrets of the galaxy and explored every secret Jillian had to offer.

"But you're not worried because?" she asked.

"Sam is home and Jack is on the base," he looked up at her again and saw the question still in her eyes. "If Jack believed even for a second that there was something wrong with Sam he'd be camped out in her driveway; or he would have ordered her to stay on the Base."

Daniel paused. Ostensibly, Jack was the commander of SG1, though he kept them all on a pretty loose leash. But if he thought any member of his team was in jeopardy, he was capable of issuing no nonsense orders – brutally if needed. Jillian knew that Jack's relative calm and his insistence that Sam go home offered Daniel a kind of reassurance.

But Jillian had seen the look on Daniel's face before, the haunted shadow in his eyes – self recrimination, doubt.

She'd been so hungry for him last night, so determined to show him that she was healed.

"_Come to bed,__xīnshàng rén,__" he had begged her, breathless and needy after one kiss, "We'll do whatever you want."_

"_I thought we'd just start in here," she had answered, backing him towards the kitchen counter._

Their passion had spilled out into his living room and then, eventually, to the bedroom. She had woken up feeling soft and delicious and feminine and powerful. He had woken up hard and demanding and male and powerful.

The memory had her shiver with delight.

"Daniel?" She asked finally, wanting to distract her own thoughts before she was straddling him on his desk chair.

"What did I miss, Jill?" he asked, though she knew the question was rhetorical. It was what he was asking himself. "I was on the same mission. I was _with _her. Was I so wrapped up in exploring and all this," he paused and waved an irritated hand at the books and mission report from 636 on his desk, "that I didn't see something seriously wrong with one of my team mates?"

"I doubt that, Daniel," Jillian said, "and I doubt anything is seriously wrong with Sam. She passed out. That could have been anything. Maybe she stood up too fast, or needed to eat."

"I doubt she needed to eat," Daniel said, with a wry look, "Jack would have been in there force feeding her something if she had gone too long without food. He knows the last time all of us ate or slept. It drives us all nuts."

Jillian gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Colonel Mallory is like that," Jillian said, "We eat and then he eats. We sleep and then he sleeps. I swear he probably knows what I had for breakfast this morning, even though he wasn't there."

"I wouldn't want you to go off world with anyone who didn't," Daniel observed. He meant it. He meant it with a kind of desperate ferocity that he couldn't even admit to himself.

Jillian studied him for a moment while he sat there and continued to brood. She wasn't sure how someone so undeniably masculine could also be so heartbreakingly vulnerable.

"You know what we can do to help Sam?" She asked, attempting to pull him out his current mood before it got any worse.

"What?" he asked, turning to her with a hopeful expression.

She tilted her head towards the mess on his desk.

"We can work on translating that, so we can figure out what that thing is and give Sam a place to start when they finally realize she's fine and let her go back to work."

That lit a spark in his eyes.

"Okay, let's do that."

They cleared the table by making piles on the floor and Daniel spread out everything he had brought with him.

"I found patterns that are probably words and sentences," he said. "But if this is an Earth language derivative, then I don't recognize it."

"So we're looking for something Earth-based, to use as a 'Rosetta Stone'?" she asked," and we can immediately eliminate everything you're familiar with."

He nodded. Jillian went to his desk and got her extra glasses out of the middle drawer. Her lovely features were drawn in concentration. Jillian loved puzzles and he was about to present her with a giant one. He dragged his desk chair over to the table and put it in front of her laptop and then settled into the other chair. There as something anthropological about being male and offering a female the best of two options. The scientist in him made note of it, found it amusing and let it go.

Daniel settled into the 'not so comfortable chair' as best he could and reached for _Lost Languages: The Enigma of the World's Undeciphered Scripts. _It was as good a place to start as any. Jillian opened her laptop and downloaded the file containing the footage of the script that he had sent her and studied it closely for several long moments. Unable to keep his restless brain on a single topic for too long, even a topic as fascinating as a new language, Daniel said, "I've been thinking about what we talked about this morning. Even if we get a house together, maybe we should keep my condo. It's paid off and we could use the investment."

Jillian looked at him over the top of glasses. Primeval shadows came and went in her eyes and Daniel got the horrible feeling he had just said something wrong again. "

And you'd have somewhere to go back to if none of this works out?" she asked lightly.

Daniel stared at her, struck absolutely dumb. He pulled his glasses off, tossed them on the table and rubbed his eyes with his fingers. Sighing, he sank back in his chair and regarded her. She was still close enough for him to see her clearly, though everything behind her was blurred. _Female_ was an utterly foreign language and right now he wasn't getting the translation at all.

"What did I do, Jill?" he asked, genuinely distressed. She looked so uncertain, and it was unnerving because he didn't understand _why_ she was reacting so strangely to his suggestion that they take their relationship to a new, and more personal, level.

Jillian blinked, and looked startled. "You didn't do anything!"

"I must have. This morning you thought I wanted to break up with you and now I suggest keeping the condo so that we have an investment for our future and you think I want it as some kind of escape route!" "Don't you?"

"NO!" Jillian flinched.

Daniel had a temper – a cold burning temper that caught everyone off guard when he unleashed it. But he had never been upset with her before. Her reaction knifed him through the heart. His frustration evaporated. He came down from the edge of his temper to contrite lover in less time that it took for a single breath.

"I'm sorry," he exhaled, "I just don't understand why we can't talk about this."

"We _are_ talking about it," she said.

"No, it's the same subject but we're coming at it from totally different directions," his thoughts started tumbling wildly over each other and then poured out, "I want us to move in together. I want us to be together. I want to do everything I can to make sure our future is secure. I'm trying to be careful with everything I have right now because_, jesus_, Jillian, no one knows how quickly it could all be gone better than I do. If the Stargate program ended next week, _you_ might have a career out there again but I'm not sure I do. I'm trying to keep us together and keep us safe and yet I've been accused twice in one day of wanting out of this. It's just the opposite and I can't figure out what I did to make you doubt me. _Why,_ Jill? What did I did do wrong?" He paused for a much needed breath and found her staring as if he was an oncoming storm. He swallowed hard, breathing slowly. Blazing blue eyes begged her for an answer.

"You really just want us to be together and safe?" Her voice shook.

"_Yes."_

"You didn't do anything, Daniel," she assured him.

"Then what's wrong? If you don't want us to move in together just say so."

"No I want us too! Very much."

"Then, Jill, what the _hell_ is going on?"

She took off her glasses, folded them carefully and put them on the table. Her expression was fathomless for a moment but when she finally looked at him, her eyes beseeched his understanding.

"I never had one," she whispered so softly he nearly couldn't hear her.

"One?"

"A house." Her voice was so filled with fear and longing and uncertainty that Daniel's heart broke into a million pieces; and all those tiny pieces tumbled straight into her eyes and stayed there.

"Jill," he murmured.

She shrugged, trying to act as if it didn't matter but he knew better now.

"I lived in embassies, apartments, huge complexes. Then I lived at boarding school, or college dorms, or at archaeological digs. The condo here is more stability than I've ever had really, and you've seen it. It's not like I really 'live' there. I've barely unpacked. It's nice but it's not a 'home'. It's not somewhere I chose with someone I ….care about," she paused and took a long shaky breath, "I want to move in with you. I want it more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. But if something happened and it didn't work out, I don't think I could stand it, Daniel. So I guess, maybe, I've been giving you a chance to change your mind."

"I don't want to change my mind," he assured her. _We'll find a house you fall in love with Jillian, and I'll do everything I can to make it yours…OURS._

"You're sure?"

"Completely."

He was starting to understand. He had approached the entire idea as a man and as a scientist – wanting to find a logical way to keep the woman he loved safe, to make her even more his. Jillian had approached it as a woman being offered her heart's desire, but too afraid to think it might be real. Perhaps Jillian found _male_ to be just as incomprehensible a language. He felt an almost desperate need to hold her, to assure himself that everything was alright between them. He had unwittingly peeled away one of Jillian's defenses and discovered something she cared for most in the world. He could _not_ mess this up.

"So we'll go house hunting? You'll make me a list of what you want?"

"Of what _we_ want."

"Okay," he nodded, "What we want."

Suddenly Jillian's startling eyes flew open, like a child who had gotten a pony for Christmas.

"Oh my god, Daniel," she said.

Alarmed, he sat forward.

"WHAT?"

"I know what this language is." She had already grabbed her glasses again and was rapidly typing something into her laptop.

"What?" he repeated, grabinghis own glasses, getting up and coming to stand behind her.

"It's Elamite," she turned the laptop so he could see it, "the primary language in what's now Iran from 2800–550 BCE. The last written records in Elamite appear about the time of the conquest of the Persian Empire by Alexander the Great. Here, look."

Daniel leaned over her and examined the images on the screen carefully and then nodded. "You're right. Can you read this and make sense of it, so we can compare the two?"

"I think we can get there together, now that we have a place to start."

She twisted to look up at him. Daniel's breath caught in his chest as he tumbled into her eyes in search of the lost pieces of his heart. He lowered his head, his lips parting for a kiss. Cupping one side of her face in his hand he kissed her long and deep. For a moment the galaxy spun end over end with the two of them at its center. When the kiss finally broke, they were still staring into each other's eyes.

"We work well together," Jillian murmured.

"Yes," Daniel said, "We do."


	22. Chapter 22

**Just to wrap up things with Daniel and Jillian did during the events of Ascension. Mostly because I always wondered how that conversation with Teal'c went.**

They had nearly made it out the door of Daniel's condo when the phone rang. He hesitated and then gave her a pleading look.

"It could be about Sam," he said.

Teal'c and Jack had been heading for her house, with pizza and a movie. Who knows what they may have found.

Jillian nodded and shrugged. He certainly didn't need to ask her before checking on one his team mates. She wouldn't have asked him for the same kind of permission. He crossed the floor quickly and grabbed the phone before the third ring.

"Hello …..Hi, Teal'c. How's Sam?"

Daniel glanced at Jillian, who looked back in concern. She folded her arms across her waist, an automatic reaction to possible bad news. His next words both reassured and alarmed her.

"She has company? …. No, that's good, I guess," then there was a long pause, after which Daniel's eyebrows climbed up his forehead and he sat forward to lean on the desk, "You want me to do what now? Go where?... Jello wrestling…Seriously?...Well, I wouldn't call it combat….Um, no, I really do have plans with Jillian tonight ….. Well if you must know we're meeting with a realtor to look at houses…..Yes, I said houses….. No, not to just _look_ at them. We're looking for one to buy… No. No, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't understand."

Jillian lifted her eyebrows to match his and looked amused, wondering what Teal'c's reaction to that would be. They hadn't really told anyone their plans yet. A moment later, Daniel said,

"Hi, Jack…..Yes, that's what I said. Jillian and I are going to look at houses…..," he paused and glanced at her as if considering what he wanted to say next, "Um, yeah, you could say that….. No, no I really don't think she'd be okay with it…..You two go have fun ….Okay…..Yeah….Bye."

Laughter was still dancing in Jillian's eyes.

"Did I hear you say jello wrestling?" She asked.

"Yes." Daniel still looked bemused and mystified. "Apparently Teal'c is intrigued so they're going to check it out."

"And Sam?"

"Had company," Daniel answered.

Jillian's eyebrows went up again. "Who? She's never said anything to me about seeing anyone. Has she said anything to you?"

"Could just be neighbors. I know she's friendly with some of them. Maybe they noticed she was home."

Jill frowned but nodded. If Jack, Teal'c and Daniel weren't all that worried then it must be okay. Daniel grabbed his keys and held the door open for her.

"You can go hang out with Jack and Teal'c if you want," Jillian said as they went down the steps.

"I could have done that when it was just pizza and a movie, with Sam, and you could have come along too," Daniel pointed out. "This is what I want to do."

Jillian glanced at him sideways.

"You're choosing house hunting over jello wrestling?"

Daniel grinned at her as they reached the Jeep and she stepped around to the passenger side.

"No contest," he said.

"What's your favorite flavor?" she asked.

Daniel shrugged and clicked his seat belt into place. "The blue stuff is good. Why?"

Jillian's smile was so wicked it made his breath hitch for a moment and he almost dropped the keys as he tried to get them in the ignition.

"Maybe we can pick up a few boxes on the way home."


	23. Chapter 23

**Still in Season 5. This is during the Fifth Man, after Daniel's interview with Col. Simmons.**

Daniel stalked down the iron gray corridor several paces ahead of his armed guard. His footfalls were as straight and unforgiving as the green lines running along the floor. Jillian hovered outside the door to his – _their? _– quarters and tried to quell the thrill of alarm making her veins tingle.

It was like watching a thunder storm roll across a frozen wasteland, heading right towards her.

Daniel's anger didn't come in heat and fits of temper. Daniel's temper came in shadowed sheets of sleet and ice. If he spoke his sarcasm bit like a chilled blade. It was the kind of cold that settled over a soul like a shroud and made it hard to breathe.

At the moment, Daniel looked so angry Jillian expected the air around him to freeze and shatter.

Jillian knew that Daniel had just been interviewed by Simmons. Something in her refused to give the man title or respect. Simmons had been known to reach levels of idiocy so high it was difficult to comprehend. But – _sweet heavenly mercy –_ what had the idiot said this time?

By the time he got to the door, Jillian had decided to give him some space. Daniel had apparently made a different decision and didn't stop to ask her opinion about it. He put his hand in the middle of Jillian's back. She was rather surprised to find he was warm. He opened the door to his quarters and gave the armed guards a look that _dared_ them to argue with him. They had been told to guard Daniel. But in the end, he _was _Daniel Jackson – the genius who had deciphered the Star Gate, a member of the revered SG1. If he wanted to take Jillian into his room, then fine. Wisely, they chose to take up places on either side of the door.

Without a word Daniel propelled her into the room and pushed the door closed. He yanked his glasses off and tossed them onto the night stand. With a frustrated sigh, he collapsed on his back on the bed and flung one arm over his eyes.

Jillian hesitated, wishing she knew more about what had happened and knowing better than to ask. She crossed the room and went to the left side of the bed – _her_ side – and sat down gingerly. Daniel didn't move. She suspected he was concentrating on breathing. Slowly she took off her boots and crawled to the middle of the bed, kneeling beside him and studying him carefully. When he still didn't move she delicately untied his boots and pulled them off.

She studied the length of his tall frame, stretched on the bed, rigid with tension and grief.

_I'm here, Daniel. I love you. I won't care if you need to stay here for hours and grieve. I'll do whatever you need._

Out loud she said, "Do you need to be alone?"

Daniel sat up so abruptly she almost jumped off the bed. The man could be preternaturally fast when he wanted to be. Robbed of summer warmth, glacial blue eyes bored into hers.

"No, don't go. I need you to stay."

His hand closed over her wrist – strong and possessive. Jillian looked down. He was so tense the skin over his fingers and knuckles were nearly white. Yet his hold on her wrist was loose. If she twisted even a little he would let her go.

Need. He had most definitely said_ need_. Jillian looked into his star-bright eyes and saw not just icy rage but hurt; which meant Simmons had dredged up something in Daniel that reminded him of things he had lost.

_That bastard, _Jillian thought viciously.

She shook her wrist free, but it was only to reach for him with both hands and pull his head down to rest on her shoulder. Her fingers stoked over his hair.

"Shhhhh," she whispered into his ear. "I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to."

Daniel closed his eyes and leaned against the curve of her neck for a moment, breathing hard. Then he moved again, swiftly, decisively. Jillian's gasp was cut short when he took her head between both palms and brought his mouth down on hers. Kissing, _kissing_, hot and moist, forcing her mouth open, as if he wanted to burn away the ice in his soul with the flames of desire.

Her fingers laced into his hair, pulling him close. Her other hand strayed over his forearm to his shoulder and flitted down his spine, raising chills on the skin beneath his black shirt. She met the fire of his mouth with her own, deepening a kiss that had already reached her core. Her lips and tongue searched for the honeyed firmness of his.

She gasped his name when they broke apart in a desperate search for oxygen.

"_Daniel!"_

He pulled the hem of her black t-shirt out of her waistband and dragged it over her head. Cotton, satin and lace slid away. His mouth found hers again as he filled one palm with her naked breast, warm and round and smooth.

"_Daniel,"_ she murmured again.

"_Please don't say stop," _he begged against her mouth. Then his lips blazed a trail over her temple and eyelids and cheek and jaw. Words came in ragged, panting breaths, "Please, god, Jillian, don't say stop. Don't say stop. I need you so much."

His skin burned over hers like the sun, scorching her with anguish and desperation and a deep searing hurt. She put her hands on his waist and bunched his shirt into folds. He let go of her long enough to take it from her and yank it over his head, tossing it onto the floor with hers.

His eyes burned into hers just before he pulled her into his arms, crushing her against his chest and kissed her again. Jillian kissed him, shaking. If his arms had not been supporting her with such possessive strength she would have collapsed, undone by desire. The splendor and excitement and sheer power of his need overwhelmed her. He broke away from the compliant promise of her mouth and rained kisses on her throat and collar bone, seeking her breasts. She arched against him, pliant and welcoming.

"It's all right, baby," she whispered as he tormented her into a state of sweet, aching desire. "Oh, god…." She ended on a breathless gasp that became helpless whimpers as her body responded to his lips and tongue. He licked and kissed and caressed her so that she was as frantic as he.

Daniel was pulsing with desire and passion and hot anticipation. His fingers were swift and agile on her belt, opening gray-blue pants and breaking away from her just long enough to get them off.

She watched hungrily as he stripped. His body was a monument to pure, carnal, male lust. His erection was throbbing and hot and demanding. Jillian ran her hands down his chest to his waist and back up, aware that he was struggling to make his hips stay still. Her arms slid around his neck as his palm slid up her satin soft thigh. Moist silk waited for him. Daniel sobbed and dragged her closer.

Her arms still around his neck, Jillian let him lift her up. His sure and strong hands held her waist as she wrapped her legs around his hips. She nudged her cheek against his so that he would tilt his head up. She kissed him, rocked her hips against him and settled down, slowly, _slowly, _sheathing him in tenderness and passion and wet heat.

Daniel moaned into her mouth. She rode him in long, easy strokes and he dropped his head to her shoulder. His arms supported her weight as he suckled at the curves of her neck and shoulder, scorched by her.

_God, Jillian…_

He was stunned by her generosity, by her willingness. Her gentle kiss and sweet slow movements were a counterpoint to his own frantic need but he accepted it.

He kept her above him until she tipped her head back and cried out. Her arms enfolded him. Her nails bit into him. Rapture flooded her features and she was so lovely in that moment that his heart nearly broke.

Daniel gathered her tightly and flipped them over so that she was under him, still shaking with aftershocks. He thrust into her climax and surrendered, flooding her body with tenderness and confusion and terror and desperate, hopeless need.

Panting against each other's lips, Daniel took his weight on his elbows and stayed over her as long as he could, holding her and letting the intensity of contentment burn away the last of his anger and hurt.

Jillian pressed tiny kisses against his throat and jaw, sweet and gentle; as if she was moved as he was – to his very soul.

As if she loved him.

Daniel shuddered. Love terrified him; and God help him he was so desperately and painfully and hopelessly in love with her.

The world came back into more solid focus. Carrying her with him, he rolled onto his back and tucked her close to his side. She threw one long lovely leg over his hip and thigh, sprawled on him, breathing gently in his ear. His fingers stroked her cheek.

"God, Jillian," he murmured.

He reversed their positions, sliding down until she was holding him and his head was resting below her chin, his forehead on her shoulder.

She stroked her fingers through his disheveled hair his hair and trailed them along his back as far as she could reach.

Jillian would never ask him what had driven him down into the dark, cold abyss of his pain and temper. If he chose to tell her one day, she would listen and pass no judgment on him of any kind. Until then, just knowing he had been angered and hurt would make her despise Frank Simmons with an unrelenting resolve.

That alone was reason enough to love her.

"Jillian," he whispered.

"Yes?"

"Nothing," he answered, "Just …..Don't leave me. Okay?"

Jillian didn't know if he meant right at the moment or ever. But it didn't matter. She kissed the top of his head.

"No," she whispered, "I won't."

(0)


	24. Chapter 24

Early morning. Cool air coming in the window; air that was scented with juniper and pine and held a hint of the warm summer day that lay ahead of them. A milky sunbeam slanted across his face. Daniel lay in the odd state between sleep and being awake, until Jillian moved and then he came to full consciousness. They had slept as always – all tangled up in each other, her head on his forearm, her hair unbound and spilling across his chest. She always pressed against him as if he were the only sure and certain thing in her world.

He wished that was true.

But her right leg moved away from him and he was instantly awake. He watched through slitted eyes as she slipped from the bed and walked towards the bathroom door. She had slept in a wicked sheer blue lace negligee, ankle length but with one side split to the top of her thigh.

As much as he hated having her walk away from him, the view was spectacular. He watched until she passed into the blurred area beyond the limited range of his vision and sighed heavily at theloss. The door between them shut and his thoughts were seized by his own immediate needs.

He was much too warm, too many blankets. He was morning-hard; and he really, _really,_ needed to use the bathroom, which Jillian was currently occupying. He shifted into a cooler part of the sheets, reached behind him to turn the pillow over, gritted his teeth and waited.

One more great reason to have taken the day off to go house hunting – the desperate need for two bathrooms. They had looked at dozens of houses in the last month and Daniel was starting to wonder if there was one that was going to make Jillian happy' or if she was deliberately holding back from becoming too emotionally attached to something she dearly wanted.

_Buy the one that makes her eyes light up, _Jack had told him.

Good advice, except that he had yet to see her react like that to any of them.

She came back at last, fighting a yawn and flowing back into bed like a cool river. He spared a moment for a quick kiss on her forehead, caught the scent of sleep and lavender and mint.

_Mint. _Hmm. Mouthwash wouldn't be a bad idea actually.

"Keep the bed warm?" he asked, then all but leapt up to make his own use of the bathroom.

It was tricky, since he had discovered she really didn't like it when he used the shower to solve the Catch-22 of having to go while pointing in the wrong direction; even if he ran the water afterwards. It was right up there with leaving his clothes all over the bedroom floor and his wet towel on the bathroom floor.

At least he had only forgotten about leaving the toilet seat up once.

Certain things had been easier when he lived alone. But as he slid back into bed and gathered her in his arms to spoon back up against her he decided none of those things mattered. Her spine settled against his chest and abs, her legs firm on his, her delectable bottom tucked against his groin. She nestled her head on his arm and laced her fingers with his.

Jillian sighed and it sounded so much like the sound she made when her climax finally eased and she curled up sated against him that Daniel's erection quickly reasserted itself.

Still, there wasn't any urgency. They had all morning and Jillian woke up slowly. His hand traveled up her thigh and over her hip, not to arouse, but to confirm that she was real and here. The back of his fingers trailed down her arm to her wrist and found the bracelet he had given her the night before – a delicate circle of gold cockle shells and starfish – for no other reason that he had seen it in the jewelry store window and known she would instantly adore it.

It had been the only thing she'd refused to take off last night.

His hand reached higher, curved around her breast. He smiled at the pleasure of warm, satin-covered fullness against his palm and the fall of silky hair over the back of his hand.

"_Madainn mhath, gràidheag,"_ he murmured, "_Ciamar a tha thu_?"

"_Mìorbhaileach," _she answered in a voice still full of sleep.

He kissed the skin between the thin strap of her negligee and her neck.

"Did I wake you?" she asked.

Her body was languid, warm and relaxed in his arms, and he could tell her eyes were closed.

"No."

"Liar."

He grinned a bit. He was a very light sleeper. Fog hitting the window would wake him, much less Jillian moving right beside him; and she knew it.

Daniel closed his eyes and held her; just held her, lightly. Inhaled the scent of her and felt the rhythm of her breathing. Jillian turned over to face him, draped an arm over him and teased her fingers along the skin below his shoulder blade. His arms tightened and drew her closer. He stroked up and down her leg, drawing satin fabric in his wake, just for the pleasure of doing it. She sighed again and this time there was the slightest tremble in it.

He wasn't thinking of seducing her when his hands began wandering over her of their own accord; or when she began to hesitantly stroke him exactly where he enjoyed it most. Since she liked touching him, he doubted seduction was on her mind.

He wasn't thinking of seducing her when he delighted in the difference of how her silky throat felt under his lips and tongue compared to the negligee under his hands.

He wasn't thinking of seduction when he urged her onto her back and settled above her; or when he used his body to drive them both into deep, hot desire.

By the time they were both crying out and holding tight to each other in the warm summer morning, neither of them was really thinking at all.

(0)

_Madainn mhath, gràidheag._ Good morning, sweetheart. (Scot/Irish/Gaelic)

_Ciamar a tha thu_ How are you?

_Mìorbhaileach _Wonderful


	25. Chapter 25

**The house they find is the one from Chimera. I found a floor plan online that seems to work with the exterior of the house and the little we see of the interior. The interior they find is based on an actual house that my realtor took me to see a few years ago. I think my eyes bled for two days.**

Cynthia West had been a realtor in Colorado Springs for almost twenty years. She had worked with many, many families stationed at Peterson AFB and NORAD.

She had never worked with a couple quite like Dr. Daniel Jackson and Dr. Jillian North.

For one thing, Cynthia had never known that a 'science geek' could be quite so attractive. He had the height and build and warm smile that women would find appealing. Between the brown hair that always looked bedroom-disheveled and the pale blue eyes behind the glasses, he had a kind of 'sexy-scholar' charm that bordered on romantic. Even after multiple visits the women in the office were still slightly speechless around him.

As for Dr. North, the men in the office found het jaw-dropping, stop and stare gorgeous. They were currently arguing about whether she looked more like Cordelia in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Elizabeth Hurley, which made Cynthia wonder about the viewing habits of her male coworkers. The odd thing was that Dr. North seemed utterly oblivious to their reaction; and while Dr. Jackson had made note of it, from the look on his face he'd only found it slightly amusing. He had even been sympathetic to the plight of the poor men who seemed willing to worship at her feet, if only to have Dr. North wonder if they had tripped and fallen.

_Don't bother, _his expression said, _she doesn't get it._

Of course, Cynthia suspected that Daniel didn't have a clue how good-looking he was either. Neither of them acted as if they did. The real attraction everyone seemed to be that this couple was comprised entirely of heart and soul - and a relationship so filled with love that it filled a room and made heads turn like flowers to the sunshine.

Cynthia hadn't been entirely certain what to make of their requests for a house. The emphasis had been on room for a library, office space, a wall long enough for what sounded like a good size aquarium. Dr. Jackson has taken her aside the first day, while Dr. North had been wandering in the garden of the second house they had seen, and asked her not to say anything about extra bedrooms being for nurseries or families. So she had been careful to use words like guest room or office. She had thought at first that they must be some career driven power couple. How else had they become so successful at such a young age? Then she realized quickly that the choice of this house seemed to rest entirely with Dr. North, and there was something emotionally fragile there.

Perhaps they hadn't exactly made a choice to be childless.

Daniel, Cynthia suspected, would have moved into the first house she had shown them, set up his aquarium and unpacked his books and been perfectly content. He had a harder time looking beyond horrendous paint and clutter to see the potential of a place, though she also suspected it was more because he wanted this to be easy.

But Jillian was looking for something specific and Daniel was watching closely to see when she found it.

Jillian was looking for a 'feeling' and it was one of the hardest things for a realtor to find.

Today she was taking them to see a house that had just come on the market and hoping that Jillian at least could look beyond very bad décor. She was exiting her minivan just as Daniel and Jillian pulled up in her purple Ford pickup. Daniel had driven; and the weather was apparently warm enough for him now. He was looking over the roof of the truck and stripping out of his sport coat as Jillian exited the passenger side.

He joined her on the sidewalk, eyebrows raised slightly, watching her closely.

"Oh, Daniel," Jillian said, "You can see the mountains."

She was looking over the house at the vista of Cheyenne Mountain that could be seen above the trees beyond it. She appeared blissfully unaware that the house itself was bright yellow with green trim.

An indulgent smile tugged at the corners of Daniel's mouth.

"I don't remember that being on the list," he said.

"We can redefine the parameters of the list, can't we?"

Daniel shrugged.

"It's our list, but maybe we should see the inside before we start adding 'mountain view' to the things we want," he cast a critical eye at the L-shaped rancher, "It looks small."

Cynthia stepped in quickly.

"The house is deceptive," she said, "Most of it is at the back, including a full upper deck and a lower patio. It has a full daylight basement. You can see that the lot slopes from the front yard to the back."

She held her breath waiting for him to say something about cutting the grass on a sloping lot, but he didn't. Cynthia wasn't sure what these two did for the Department of Defense, but they were always very well dressed and she knew they were looking at houses well below their income level. This was mostly because they didn't want anything very big. Daniel said they traveled a lot. They probably had a cleaning service and could easily afford a landscaping service.

Daniel didn't look like the type of man who wanted to spend Saturday afternoon on the riding mower.

She hoped that if the sloping lot wasn't an issue, the neon color scheme inside wouldn't be either. Neither of them has said anything about the bright yellow exterior.

"Daylight basement?" Jillian repeated.

Cynthia flashed her best smile.

"Yes. It's a large open space with two rooms and a bath attached. I thought it might work for your library and office."

Jillian and Daniel exchanged a communicative look, but Cynthia found it hard to read.

They walked through the front door into the Great Room. It was a nice room really – vaulted ceilings, large windows and a set of French doors that led out onto a huge deck. The attached kitchen had white cabinets and black granite counter tops. The floor was blond maple hardwood. There was a wood stove with a soaring river rock surround that promised long, warm winter nights. A wooden mantle beckoned Christmas stockings, but Daniel's caution about mentioning families and children kept her from pointing that out.

If only someone hadn't painted the whole room pepto-bismal pink, it would have made a wonderful first impression.

Cynthia had expected Jillian to go to the kitchen, as she has in other houses. But this time she went to the window and looked out at the large backyard, the inviting deck and the image of Cheyenne Mountain above the trees. Daniel wandered into the dining room.

"Do you think your parent's dining room set would fit, Dr. Jackson?"

He turned and gave her that smile, the one that made her knees weak and made her wish she was twenty years younger – warm and charming and self-deprecating all at the same time.

"Daniel," he reminded her, "And yes I think it would; but I was thinking the aquarium would fit on that wall."

She had tried – really tried – to call him Daniel. But there was something that made her want to keep a professional distance; something about him that demanded respect.

"It's a lovely room," Jillian said as she joined them. She moved close to Daniel, into his body space, and slipped her fingers around his.

"Southern exposure," he commented, "Good for the plants."

"Do they all _have_ to be in the living room?" she asked.

"No," Daniel said, slowly, "I doubt they would even all fit in the living room."

They went to the bedrooms tucked into the L portion of the house. The second and third bedrooms faced the street and were good sized rooms with decent closets. If only they weren't also bright orange and fluorescent blue respectively. Cynthia saw the look Daniel exchanged with Jillian as he held up his hand to hold off the protest she could see in Jillian's bright green eyes.

"I know," he said in a voice that was laughing even if he wasn't, "It's just paint."

It seemed they had been having this conversation.

The hall bathroom was bright red and 'room locked' but it had a nice skylight.

The master bedroom was one of the house's best qualities – tray ceiling, deck access, walk in closet, a small private fireplace and a large master bath on suite.

It was also a shade of green that made Daniel comment about being in Margaritaville.

But even he stopped making negative comments when they got downstairs.

"Wow," Jillian murmured, "It's huge, Daniel; and there's a fireplace. Think of the library we could put in here."

"It could be spectacular, huh?"

Jillian nodded, with a 'Christmas morning' look on her face. These two, Cynthia thought, talk about books the way most couples talked about children. They checked into the two rooms with the full bathroom between them their realtor listened to them spar good naturedly over who got the office with the patio access. Daniel finally acquiesced on the basis that neon yellow was more her color than his. When they were finished they went back upstairs to the Great Room. Daniel turned to Cynthia.

"Do you mind if we go out on the deck and talk in private for a moment?"

"Of course." She gestured magnanimously at the French doors.

Daniel held the door and let Jillian go through first. His fingertips touched the center of her back as she passed. The gesture had a sense of tenderness and familiarity that Cynthia almost envied. The door closed and she was left to wait and wonder.

Daniel went to the deck railing and looked out at the expanse of green grass below them. He leaned a hip on the rail and crossed his arms – casually, not defensively. Jillian had learned the difference.

"This is the house you've been looking for, isn't it?" Daniel asked, quietly.

She gave him a look that was scared and hopeful.

"Do you hate it?" She asked, timidly.

"No," he said, quickly, "There are some issues, but nothing I think can't be overcome."

"Like paint colors you can see through your eyelids?" she asked, with a small smile teasing the corner of her mouth.

"They didn't exactly melt my glasses, but they have to go," he answered. "We can get it painted, Jill. We haven't seen a house yet that had colors we would keep, though these are extreme."

"The commute is appealing," she commented.

"We could almost ride the bikes to work if we wanted," he agreed.

"There isn't a garage," she admitted, sounding apologetic, "I know you hate keeping the jeep on the street."

Daniel shrugged.

"The lot is big enough to add one, and make it exactly what we want."

"Are you sure?"

"The jeep isn't as important to me as you are. If you want this house we should get it."

"If _we_ want it," she said.

"Are you seeing the same library downstairs that I am?"

She looked misty.

"So many things I could finally unpack," she whispered. "I've had books packed away in boxes for years. Some were my mom's."

Daniel saw it in her eyes - her incredible longing and her heart breaking willingness to show him how vulnerable she was. Jillian had found something she wanted and was teetering between elation and a terrible sense that for some reason, she wouldn't be able to have it.

Daniel knew that she was more than financially capable of buying this house on her own. She would never be financially dependent on him. If nothing else her extraordinarily wealthy family would have helped her finance it.

But Jillian was longing to go _home_, to a place she had never been and had seen only in half-remembered dreams and half-realized visions; and she didn't want to go there without him. For some reason, he had become a vital component of her dream. She wanted him to want this house; and from the tension running across her slender shoulders and tall frame, she didn't dare breathe until she knew if he did.

Daniel imagined them coming here together at the end of long missions; or returning here alone to find her waiting to hold him in the circle of her arms, her eyes lighting up at his return, celebrating triumphs and holding each other during tragedy in front of the fireplace in their bedroom.

He'd have been happy to live anywhere and have that; in a cave if she wanted, or in a tent as he once had in some distant past he could not return to for all the longing in the world.

His past had withdrawn, leaving with this eternally new _now_ that his heart and his own passions were creating. He had not stopped caring, but he could remember it without feeling as if he would bleed to death from the pain.

He had started this house hunt with the single minded purpose of the scientist to bring order and less chaos to his life; and with the primal male drive to create a place for his chosen mate. But right now, looking into Jillian's hopeful eyes, he was struck with the same emotional lightning bolt that had affected her from the beginning.

Daniel reached for Jillian's hand and pulled her forward so that she walked into his arms. He kissed her, a warm, moist touch of his lips to hers, exquisitely controlled and full of the promise of later passion.

"So let's make an offer on it."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh, Daniel."

She slipped her arms around his waist, rested her forehead on his chest and sighed happily.

Watching them from inside the house, Cynthia smiled. She had rarely seen a couple that much in love; that devoted to each other.

And she had just sold them this house.

(0)


	26. Chapter 26

Daniel was really proud of himself for not sagging with relief when he was told that SG8 had made it safely to Russia. He managed to concentrate on the negotiations, for Teal'c's sake. Hours before there had been two people lost on the other side of the Star Gate. Now Jillian was safe and he would see her soon. Teal'c became his focus of concentration, but the lack of any meaningfulheadway was flaying his already raw nerves. The negotiation seemed to have its own inertia, one begun by and continued by the Russians.

He took a moment to contact Sam back in the States and let her know what SG5 had found out from the Tok'ra. Just as he hung up an aide came to tell him someone was waiting for him in the hall. His heart hammered. There was only one person he wanted to see at the moment.

Jillian. She walked towards him with steps that were clearly aching to run. She was wearing a pair of jeans that fit her as if worshipping her curves and a loose shirt that had slid off one shoulder. The orange silk seemed to have no shape of its own and simply flowed randomly over hers as she moved.

_I should just take her into the negotiations, _he thought,_ One look at her, one smile from her and Chekhov will be begging us to take his DHD and the Stargate with it._

She walked into his arms and he wrapped them around her tightly.

"Do you always take a change of civilian clothes with you off world?" he asked, too choked up to say anything else.

She laughed a bit and he could tell she was fighting tears too.

"The Russians have been remarkably good to us. We got to go shopping. You should see what Mallory and Davidson got for their wives," she said. "But they've also been very quiet about how we wound up here. What's going on?"

He stood her back, his hands resting on her hips. He became aware of a dozen pairs of Russian eyes watching them – some directly and some sidelong. It was a crowded corridor, but at the end of it he saw a set of tall glass doors leading to a balcony. He took her hand and led her into the wind and sun, the iconic St. Basils and the guarded Kremlin towering over Lenin's Mausoleum that was the heart of Moscow.

He took a moment to breathe and take in the view.

"_Krasnaya ploshchad,"_ he murmured.

"Red Square," she translated, sounding a bit awed. "Never thought I'd be here; and without even having to take a plane."

He gave a rueful grin and saw her shiver in the sudden chilly gust of wind that whipped across the square. He stripped out of his jacket and put it around her shoulders, watching as she adjusted it and settled into the warmth of his body heat. Her eyes swept him from head to toe, with a brief and appreciate gaze that said she hadn't missed the fact that he was wearing a suit (and one of her favorites.)

"What's wrong with our Gate, Daniel?" she asked.

And he told her. He told her to entire long, frustrating story, all the way to his current impasse in a negotiation in which the only thing at stake was Teal'c's life. When he was finished, Jillian was staring at him somewhat horrified.

"My god, Daniel," she breathed.

"And all we need is for the Russians to give us their DHD, and like I just told Sam, I think that would require giving back some substantial real estate."

He gripped the railing in front of him so tightly she could see all the bones in his hand. He was so solemn and grave and vulnerable at the moment. His back was tense and rigid. A tall gray silhouette against the colorful riot of Moscow's architecture, everything about his stance was misery.

"I don't know what to do, Jillian. Chekhov is military and even after five years in the perpetual presence of Jack O'Neill I still don't get it," he said, "Hammond said he was sending his best man for this and I'm really hoping he meant Major Davis."

"You're too close to it," she said.

He turned to her, his eyes startled.

"What?"

"It's Teal'c," Jillian said, as if it was obvious, "so don't you dare try to tell me you aren't an emotional wreck inside. I know better."

Daniel's face flushed and his jaw set hard. Jillian went on.

"Don't pull away from me," she begged, "The way you care about people, especially your friends, is one of your greatest strengths. But you're afraid to be vulnerable right now and I think you have to be."

Daniel had his eyes fixed on the red brick pavement below.

"Why?" he asked, tightly.

"You've done it before," she said, quietly, "Remember Chartago?"

He didn't flinch, at least not outwardly.

"Who told you about that?"

"Jack."

Startled, he turned storm tossed eyes to look at her.

"Jack?"

Jillian took a long breath. "On P4X347, when we were waiting for the effects of the light to wear off. Do you remember the night you drank too much?"

"And passed out?" he asked, "Actually, no. I don't remember anything about that night but I remember the next morning. Waking up feeling like you have a railroad spike in your head is memorable."

Jillian gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Jack was pretty wasted too. He gets chatty when he's drunk, did you know that?"

Daniel actually smiled a little and then nodded. "I've been told I do, too," he admitted.

"Not for long," she teased gently,"Jack doesn't pass out when he's drunk."

"And he can probably still hit a moving target from a hundred yards away," Daniel mused. "So what did he get chatty about?"

"I asked him about some of the early missions, about the stuff that isn't in the reports and he started telling me about Teal'c and his willingness to accept the responsibility for his actions. Then suddenly it was about you. I know he pushed you, hard, in front of strangers, to talk about things you never talk about."

Jillian took a step closer to him.

"Daniel? Do you know how much it meant to him, that you did that for Teal'c?"

Daniel seemed to sag and then braced against another gust of wind.

"So how does that help me now?" he asked.

"Stop seeing _Colonel_ Chekhov and see the man, the way you do with Jack. The way you do with Teal'c. He's a _man, _with a heart and soul. _Stop_ seeing this as some international negotiation with far reaching repercussions and connect on an emotional level. They're getting bogged down in ego and bullshit and patriotism in there, Daniel. Cut through it. You're the only one who can."

Jillian watched his profile carefully, moved by him in a way she couldn't quite understand.

"Failure is impossible, isn't it?" she asked, softly.

"Completely," he agreed.

Her voice changed slightly as she pulled another quote out of her whip-sharp memory.

"_It is hardly possible to build anything if frustration, bitterness and a mood of helplessness prevail._"

Daniel lifted both eyebrows and looked at her sidelong, shaking his head. That was one quote he didn't recognize.

"Lech Walesa," she supplied.

"Ah." He said.

The door behind them opened and another aide came out to request that Daniel join them again. They went back inside and Jillian gave him back his jacket. She touched his cheek with her fingertips and brushed her lips against the corner of his mouth.

"It's all for Teal'c," she reminded him. "All he needs is for you to be who you are."

Daniel squeezed the hand touching his cheek. His pulse throbbed against hers as he briefly closed his fingers.

What seemed like hours later Daniel found himself staring in the angry eyes of Colonel Chekhov and seeing the shadow of pain caused by the loss of a friend. He let that pain find a mirror in his own eyes.

"Then you must know how I feel," he said, "Look, lend us your DHD. You can come with it if you like..._Please_."

He waited, with a fist around his heart and Teal'c's life on the line. He saw the flicker of change on Chekhov's face, the moment when all his pride and reasoning surrendered to feeling. The man nodded and Daniel took his first breath in several long moments. Beside him, Davis slumped but didn't look like he was about to have a heart attack any more.

"_Spasiba_," Daniel said, making sure he got all the emphasis and accent and intent correct, to honor the surrender and the man who had made it.

Chekhov nodded stiffly.

"_Puzhalsta_," he said.

(0)

Krasnaya ploshchad – Russian, Red Square

Spasiba – Thank you

Puzhalsta – You're welcome.

Lech Walesa is the man responsible for the fall of communism in Poland.


	27. Chapter 27

Daniel wasn't sure how to prepare for what he was about to do. He had three university degrees and five years of experience off world. But when it came to undercover espionage and mass murder he had no logic or training or hypothesis to guide him.

On the one hand, being surrounded by System Lords filled him with a kind of sick dread that had his flight response screaming. On the other hand, if he could get past his revulsion, the historian in him could never quite grasp the fact that he was in the presence of living history, of the _actual_ Lord Yu: Yu Huang Shandi; the Xuanling High Sovereign, Peace Absolving, Central August Spirit Exalted, Ancient Buddha, Most Pious and Honorable, His Highness the Jade-Emperor, Xuanling High Sovereign, monarch of all the deities in heaven, known for his intelligence and kindness to the poor and weak.

It didn't fit with everything they knew of the Goa'uld and it never had. The enigma that was Lord Yu fascinated Daniel; and that was something he had never admitted, not even to Jack.

Not even to Jillian.

But in the immediate moment, with the SGC scurrying to get SG1 prepared to leave, there was one thing Daniel knew he had to do. He just hoped Hammond would let him. He paused respectfully in the door of Hammond's office.

"General?"

"Dr. Jackson, come in," the soft voice, the calm rhythm, always like a rainstorm after a drought. No wonder men had followed this man without question. "What can I do for you, son?"

"I need a favor."

"Considering what you're about to do, I don't think anything will be too much to ask."

Daniel didn't say anything right away. It was the air of certainty, Daniel thought, the utter surety that he was commanding the best and the brightest. He wondered if Hammond did it on purpose; if he knew the effect it had on everyone under his command to know that Hammond believed in them without question.

Hammond considered telling Daniel to sit down, but the younger man seemed as if he was standing on a live wire. Of course, Daniel always seemed that way.

"I need to talk to Jillian," he managed to say finally.

"Jillian is on P3X 888,' Hammond said.

"Yes," Daniel agreed, knowing what he was asking. The Stargate used an extraordinary amount of power every time they opened it. It was a lot to request that such energy be used as a personal favor.

Hammond leveled a blue stare at him, considering, measuring.

"I know what I'm asking," Daniel said, "But I have to tell her what's going on in person. If I don't... well, I have the feeling that if the System Lords don't kill me she will."

"You're becoming wise in the ways of women, son," Hammond said.

"I'm not even sure it's that," Daniel said, with a shrug of one shoulder, "I'd just be ready to throttle her if I got back from a routine excavation and found out she was on some suicide mission she'd kept from me. I can't do the same thing to her."

"I understand," Hammond said, and Daniel knew that he did. The General had been married for decades to someone he had loved dearly, "SG8 is due to report in less than an hour. I'll tell them she's been recalled."

"Thank you, sir," Daniel said, genuinely, "Can you also say that everyone is fine so she doesn't worry?"

"We'll make sure to tell her that, but I suspect she'll still worry," Hammond told him.

(0)

Colonel Gerald Mallory came back from reporting to the SGC with a grim look on his face and a stiffness in his stride. The military members of his team, Captain Rusty Davidson and Airman Scotty Lawrence, were attuned enough to their CO to pick up on it and fall into step with him as he entered the camp.

"Something wrong?" Rusty asked, keeping his voice low. So far none of the scientists, not even Jillian had noticed Mallory's return. They were too busy kneeling in the dirt sweeping debris away from the fossilized bones of the Goa'uld.

The Unas had noticed however. The few members of Chaka's clan that had come to help them had sensed immediately that Mallory's mood had gone from calm to edgy.

"Don't know," Mallory admitted, "I just know Jillian's been recalled. Scotty," he turned to their junior member, "It won't sound so ominous coming from you. Go tell her – and get this absolutely straight – everyone is fine but she needs to go back to the SGC, now."

Scotty couldn't quite keep the dismay out of his eyes, even though his classic California surfer features remained as impassive as the military had trained him to be. He really didn't want to be the one to give Jillian this message.

"Yes, sir," he said, turned on his heel and marched off resolutely to deliver potential bad news to his team mate.

They watched as Scott spoke to Jillian, saw the way her spine stiffened and her eyes flickered to the ground. She dusted her hands off on her uniform pants and turned to walk back towards them with Scotty at her side. One of the Unas intercepted Jillian before she reached her team. He was the taller of the two males, but younger, the clan leader in Chaka's absence. Jillian had introduced him as Tonak Zo, which she explained meant Battle Leader. It hadn't filled Mallory with a huge sense of comfort at the time, even though Jillian had pointed out that Mallory was also their battle leader and didn't currently have any plans to attack anyone.

Jillian took time to talk to Tonak Zo, seriously and with great respect. She was wearing her green camo BDU pants and a black shirt with a green bandana wrapped around her head. But she was also wearing a primitive collar made of bone around her neck and a bracelet of stiff leather that had been gifts from the Unas clan. With both Daniel and Chaka away from P3X-888, Tonak Zo was under the impression that he was supposed to guard Jillian. The bracelet marked her as being under his protection. She was wearing the collar because he had threatened to hold her down and put it on forcibly. She had argued with him in a combination of Unas and English that was baffling, only to be met with a stubborn reptilian stare and the constantly repeated words "Dan-all ska-nat."

It was a good thing they had been warned by Daniel ahead of time, that the Unas had taken his request to watch over Jillian very serious. Ordinarily SG8 didn't take well to any of them being threatened with physical violence. As it was, the rest of SG8 had found it unbelievably amusing.

It had been particularly hard not to laugh as Tonak Zo had fastened the collar around her neck and Jillian had muttered something under her breath in a language they didn't recognize except for the word 'Jackson.'

Tonak Zo nodded finally and made a grunting noise they recognized as meaning 'yes'. Jillian put her hand on his wrist for a moment, smiled a little and then turned to join Mallory and Davidson.

"Is that it?" she asked, "That was the whole message?"

"Yes," Mallory answered.

"Who did you talk to?"

"Hammond," Mallory admitted, even though he knew she wanted him to say it had been Daniel. He saw her look away, staring without seeing. Her face seemed pale, though the tip of her nose had turned pink from too much time in the sun. He resisted the urge to take off his hat and run his hand through his gray hair in frustration. She didn't need to see him looking agitated, "Look, Jillian. Daniel probably just wants to remind you to wear your sunscreen."

"I have Tonak Zo for that," she said drily. "Am I supposed to bring everything I brought with me or am I coming back?"

"I think you should just go," Mallory answered, "If you need anything you can tell us the next time we check in."

Scotty spoke up. "Permission to walk Jillian to the Gate, sir?" he asked.

Mallory nodded. Jillian and Scotty moved off together, side by side, in lock step.

"Any idea what's going on?" Rusty asked, when they were out of ear shot. He made no attempt to keep the trepidation out of his voice.

"No, but they did say everyone is fine," Mallory said.

"For now," Rusty pointed out, "You and I both know how fast things can go FUBAR."

"If they do, then we stand by her," Mallory said, as if it was obvious, "She's a member of our team, of our families. Whatever happens, to any of us, we all go through it together."

(0)

Jillian couldn't remember ever stepping through the Star Gate on her way back to Earth and being scared. Sometimes she still felt a thrill of uncertainty when walking for the first time to a new world, where their only information came from the limited range of the MALP.

This time there was an icy knot around her heart and she was going home. _Everyone is fine_, she reminded herself firmly while Scotty dialed and she watched the chevrons encode. _Hammond wouldn't lie to me. __**Everyone**_ _includes Daniel, everyone includes Dad._

The seventh chevron locked and Jillian started to walk up the ramp.

"Hey, Jill," Scotty said.

She swiveled to look at him and saw nothing but compassion in his eyes.

"You know where to find us," he said.

The warmth given to her by her team helped melt the icy knot a little. Still, as she walked through the Gate she felt like she was on a very thin, shaky footbridge.

Five years of going off world had conditioned her to take in her surroundings instantly. The Gate Room was a flurry of controlled chaos. Eight packs and tactical vests were lined up against the wall, with airmen packing them with brisk efficiency. Weapons were being brought in as she started down the ramp.

All of that faded into the background when she focused on the man waiting for her with his hands in his pockets and an expression of downcast surrender in his summer-sky eyes.

But he didn't fool her; not now, not after all this time together. Underneath the guise of being relaxed and submissive, Jillian could see the battlefield alertness. The hands shoved in his pockets were masking a fierce need to _move._

When she finally reached him there was just enough slant left to the ramp to eliminate the difference in their height.

Daniel glanced at the collar around her neck and shoulders.

"Tonak Zo is taking this pretty seriously, I see," he said.

Jillian refused to be sidetracked.

"We'll talk about that later," she said, "What's going on?"

He drew in a long breath and spoke in one fast sentence,

"The Tok'ra have asked us to help them eliminate the System Lords, all of them, at the same time."

He saw the shock settle on her face, along with the confusion. His hand wrapped around hers.

"Hammond said we could talk in the briefing room."

Wordlessly, but with her hand still firmly in his, Jillian went with him. She expected him to sit down in one of the heavy leather chairs. Instead he turned and settled against the table, spread his feet apart and pulled her close. She went willingly, stood between his parted legs and let her hips fall against his.

"What's going on?" she asked, "How can we destroy them all at the same time?"

"We don't have all the details," he admitted.

Jillian made a frustrated sound and he felt the tension run through her slender frame. When it came to the Tok'ra, Jillian was more likely to side with Jack's skepticism and distrust than his own hopeful optimism. Not even Sam's unconditional acceptance of the Tok'ra seemed to matter to Jillian. He lowered his voice and told her as much as he knew and everything he was being asked to do. As he spoke, the look in her eyes became more and more frozen.

By the time he finished the ice in her eyes had shattered into shards. She was utterly still in his arms, breathing slowly. A part of Daniel wished she would yell at him, swear and get angry. It would scare him but he would know what to do with hot temper. Icy stillness chilled him to the bone.

"Daniel," she murmured.

"I know," he cut her off, "They're not sending someone with Black Ops training or undercover experience. They're sending me; and only because I happen to speak Goa'uld."

"So do I," she reminded him. Her voice was as brittle as her eyes.

She saw the protective flash in his eyes and knew he would still never let her within a thousand light years of a Goa'uld, even if it made her spitting mad in the process.

"You read it fluently," he acknowledged slowly, "You understand it completely. Your pronunciations are still a little off."

"Off?"

_Crap. _Now she sounded ticked off. Daniel licked his lips nervously.

"You grew up in England, Jill. You do know you've got a little bit of an accent still. Right?"

"I do?" There was more curiosity in her voice than bite.

"Yeah," Daniel said. He leaned forward enough to put his forehead against hers, "I think it sounds adorable, but it only shows up every once in a while. Not in the languages you grew up speaking. Certainly not in any of the European ones. But when you speak Goa'uld or Ancient, I can hear it."

_And besides, _Jillian thought,_ you wouldn't let me go if you had to get Tonak Zo and the entire rest of the Clan to hold me down._

"We're supposed to close on the house in a week," she reminded him.

"I'll be back, "he said, with more conviction than he probably felt. She gave him a skeptical look. "I'll be back; and we'll get moved in, unpack what we need and then we'll get away for a little while, just the two of us."

She tilted her head, "Where?"

"Anywhere you want. Pick an ocean," he smiled enticingly. "Tahiti? Bahamas? Hawaii?"

"Like we could reservations at any of those places right now," she said, drily.

"Off world, if you want then," he said, refusing to give up.

Something in her eyes changed, a warmth came to the brittle green.

"My family has a beach house," she told him.

"It does? Where?"

Daniel was expecting her to say California, or South Carolina or Florida so what she said next startled him.

"St. John, in the Virgin Islands."

He looked at her over the top of his glasses.

"St. John? In the Caribbean?"

"Yes."

"I thought St. John was a national park?"

Jillian shrugged, "A lot of it is, but not a lot of tourists go there." She paused and got a dreamy, faraway look in her eyes. "But,_ god,_ Daniel, I would love to take you there. The house is amazing. We have a private beach and I could take you out to Trunk Bay. It's my favorite place on Earth."

"Well then I have to see it," he put his arms around her and laced his fingers behind her back. "I have to do this, Jill. I have to go," he said, "It would be easier if I knew I had your support."

She took his face between her hands, "You always have my support, even when it scares me to death and I think you're crazy."

"Which is all the time?" he asked.

She let her forehead rest against his again and for a moment they just stayed that way, breathing each other. Daniel held her, held _onto_ her – as his lifeline, his anchor.

His true _north_, the star he would carry in his heart, the one that would keep him from doing something stupid.

The star that would guide him home.

(0)

They walked stride for stride down the corridor towards the Gate Room with Daniel talking rapidly.

"If you go back to 888 don't forget Tonak Zo's collar or he'll be very upset and… and… and the braclet. It has his mark on it. The movers are coming tomorrow but I'd rather you did the artifacts in the office, and the swords on the wall in the living room. Keep them somewhere safe."

"Aren't they reproductions?" Jillian asked.

He turned his head enough to look at her over the rim of his glasses and Jillian realized that, no, they actually weren't reproductions. _Damn._ She swallowed hard and made a mental note to get a security system installed at the new house.

"And one of the damsel fish is sick," Daniel went on, "I left the number for Seascapes on the tank. If she isn't better by Monday, call and tell them we'll move the tank later. We have to paint and clean the condo before we can rent it anyway, so the tank can just stay there."

"She's not sick, Daniel."

Daniel skidded to a halt so suddenly she outpaced him and had to turn around. He looked mystified.

"She's bloated, not eating and can hardly swim. All she does is hide in the coral. If that's not sick, what is it?"

"She's pregnant."

Daniel stared at her, his eyes moving back and forth as if trying to decipher what she had just said. "What?"

"She's going to have little fish, small fry," Jillian was fighting a smile.

"NOW?" Daniel sounded horrified, "Oh, then call Seascapes and tell them that tank isn't going anywhere for a while; and if that's true then she isn't going to have little fish, she's going to lay eggs. Damsels aren't live bearers, so the eggs will be hidden and then we have to wait for them to hatch and become large enough to see. Will you find out how long that usually takes? And what they eat? Of course that's if the male in there actually finds them. Try isolating her and giving her some of the shrimp that's in the freezer. She might eat that. There's a box in the storage closet labeled 'aqaurium' and there's a divider in it. It's kind of a clear plexiglass and it fits across the tank. Will you try separating the male and the female from the rest? I know it's a lot to ask right now. You know which one the male is, right?"

Jillian stared at him.

"Is this really what we're going to talk about now? The _fish?"_

Daniel had been staring, unseeing, at the concrete. His head jerked up and he locked eyes with her. Why in the world couldn't he tell this incredible woman how he felt about her?

"I just …. Care about her, that's all," he said, softly, "She's important to me."

From the end of the hall they heard the distinct sound of the Star Gate beginning to encode.

"_Hun dan," _Daniel muttered.

He began walking forward again and Jillian rushed to join him. They stopped again at the stairs to the Control Room. He turned and stared at her, absolutely certain that leaving her this time was going to kill him.

He took her face between his hands and brought it close to his. His lips touched hers but not to kiss.

"Don't say goodbye," he begged softly, "Don't ever tell me goodbye."

Jillian closed her eyes and nodded. He had told her of the last moments he had spent with Sha're before she had been taken from him.

Then he kissed her, gently.

"I'll be back," he promised, "and then there's the house to move into and a beach you want to show me."

Jillian smiled bravely and nodded. Her throat was too tight for words. He moved away though she held his hand and until distance broke them apart. She watched until he turned into the door to the Gate Room and then she ran up the stairs to the Control Room.

The fourth chevron was encoding as she moved to the observation window. She saw the narrow look Jack shot at Daniel for being late. Daniel ignored him. Two Airmen helped him clip on his pack and handed him his belt knife and Baretta.

Then Daniel turned his head and look up at her.

A calm, almost tender voice from behind her said,

"Try not to let him see you cry, Dr."

Jillian wanted to look at Hammond as he moved in to stand beside her, to give him the respect he deserved. But she couldn't look away from Daniel. She wondered if she had ever hated a Gate countdown so much.

"Sir?" she asked, blinking back the tears that had already started.

"Men going off to do dangerous things hate to see their loved ones in tears right before they leave. Dr. Jackson had proven to be remarkably hard to kill. Hold onto that."

"Yes, sir."

She managed to smile at Daniel as the last chevron locked. He didn't smile back but his eyes held hers for a long time. Then he turned to march up the ramp and vanish through the Gate.

(0)


	28. Chapter 28

**SG1 relaxes at Jack's house and unofficially celebrates Daniel's successful return from the System Lord Summit. **

**(0)**

Sprawled in the corner of Jack's couch with his feet up on the coffee table amid the empty beer bottles and pizza boxes, Daniel complained loudly,

"Why is it that everyone on this show that wears glasses is old, ugly or geeky?" He paused, and then added, "Or all three?"

"Shh!" Jack said, firmly, "There's no talking during the Simpson's marathon; and did you just use the 'g' word?"

"I believe Daniel Jackson may be inebriated," Teal'c observed.

"Am not," Daniel protested.

"Are too," Jack said.

"Not."

"Are."

"I'm not too drunk to notice that there are no sexy people on Simpsons who wear glasses," Daniel pointed out.

From the kitchen Sam said, "I wasn't aware of _any _sexy people on Simpsons."

Daniel seemed to consider that for a moment and then said, "But if there were they _wouldn't _be wearing glasses."

Jillian came back into the room. She and Sam had been attempting to clean up, since they were the only ones who seemed to care about pizza mess. They were also a shade more sober than Jack and Daniel, though probably not as stone sober as Teal'c.

"There are lots of sexy people who wear glasses," she said, squeezing into the place between Teal'c and Daniel.

"Name one," Daniel demanded.

"Besides you?" she countered.

He frowned at her, shook his head and finished off the last of the beer in the bottle he was holding before setting it on the floor.

"You're biased," he said, slinging an arm around her shoulders, "You don't get a vote."

"Hey!"

"Then name someone else," he challenged.

"No talking during the Simpsons!" Jack repeated.

"It's a commercial" Daniel said.

"Gregory Peck in _To Kill a Mockingbird_," Jillian said.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in _To Kill a Mockingbird_," Jillian repeated, "The glasses, the suit," she paused and gave an elaborate shiver, "Soooo hot."

"Johnny Depp," Sam said, returning to the room.

"Oh yeah," Jillian said, "That one too; and Cary Grant in _Bringing up Baby_."

Jack stared at her, "Who chooses your movie rentals anyway?"

Jillian wrinkled her nose at him.

"Oh, come on!" Daniel said, "Just look at this show! Hans Moleman, Milhouse, Professor Fink, Grandpa…."

"All classic characters," Jack said, lovingly.

"But _not _sexy," Daniel said.

"John Lennon," Sam said, finding her way back to the chair near Jack.

Daniel shot her a mystified look.

"Really?" he asked, then he shook his head, "I mean seriously, hasn't Clark Kent been proving for decades that you have to take your glasses _off _to be attractive? Lois Lane wasn't even remotely interested in him until he lost his glasses."

"I always thought it was the spandex suit myself," Sam murmured.

Jack looked at her and raised his eyebrows. A pink flush tinted her cheeks.

Still on a roll, Daniel went on, "And while we're talking about Clark Kent, how stupid is that disguise anyway? If I take my glasses off right now is everyone going to look around and wonder who I am and where the hell Daniel went?"

"SHHH! The show is back on," Jack said, "If you don't shut up, I'm going to pitch you over the deck rail and then everyone _will _wonder where you went."

"_Cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài," _Daniel muttered.

"Daniel!" Jillian gasped.

His eyes grew wide. "Oh sorry, usually I can say what I want around them."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I work daily with a guy who can tell me to go screw myself in thirty languages."

"That wasn't what he suggested," Jillian said, still glaring at Daniel, who was giving her his very best innocent puppy look. "If you were Chinese you'd be beating the crap out of him."

"If you hate your glasses so much, Daniel, why don't you just wear contacts? You did for this last mission," Sam observed.

"Am I still treating the eye infection I got?" Daniel asked, rhetorically. "Every time I put the damn things in, I get one; not to mention the lecture from Janet – even though I _told_ her I was going to wind up with an infection."

"It would help if you'd remember to take them out," Jillian said.

"How many times have you found me asleep with my glasses on? I can't even remember to take them off half the time," Daniel replied.

"_SHHHHHH," _Jack insisted. "God, this is the _last_ time I invite any of you for the Simpsons marathon."

"Promise?" Daniel asked.

"Jillian, how do you say 'shut up' in Chinese?" Jack asked.

"_Qù nǐde_," Jillian said.

Jack opened his mouth and closed it a few times and then said, "Yeah, what she said."

Daniel had gone from his innocent look to one of shocked disbelief, "Don't teach him that!"

"It wasn't 'shut up'?" Jack asked.

"Well it _was," _Daniel said, "and a little bit more."

"Quiet!" Jack growled, "You're going to miss the best part of this episode."

"Yeah, come one, guys, it's almost Marge's dream sequence," San said.

Jack's neck almost snapped as he whipped around to stare at Sam. She shrugged,

"You're not the only one who watches this you know," Sam said, "I'm just not fanatical about it. Sir. Marge's dream sequence from _Fear of Flying_ is a classic."

Jack continued to stare at Sam with something resembling awe. Daniel could spend all the time he wanted with Jillian watching Gregory Peck movies and trading Mandarin phrases. He'd take a Simpson-watching, jet-flying, sharp-shooting Air Force Major with turquoise eyes.

A moment later, Sam was giggling over Marge Simpson's dream. Even Daniel dropped his head back on the couch and laughed.

During the next commercial break, Jack got up to bring in another chilled six pack of beer and a can of V8 Fusion for Teal'c. Daniel and Sam both took another beer, though Jillian waved it off. She patted Daniel's chest affectionately.

"I'm his designated walker," she said, "Someone has to make sure he gets safely to the guest room."

"Just get up and start walking," Daniel said, nuzzling his face in her hair, "I'll follow you anywhere."

"Hey, Daniel, "Sam said, "Do you know what the Heineken Uncertainty Principle is?"

Daniel looked at her blankly and then said, solemnly, "No, Sam, I do not."

"It's when you can't remember how many beers you had the night before," Sam said, and then giggled.

For some reason Daniel found that wildly funny. When he stopped laughing he said,

"Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive…'"

Sam laughed and said, "Wow, look at the 'soft' scientist making chemistry jokes."

"I am not a 'spoft….errr, soft' scientist!" Daniel protested, drinking from the bottle in his hand.

"I can attest to that," Jillian said, which she and Sam found wildly funny.

Daniel choked on the beer he was trying to swallow.

Sam took a healthy swallow from her bottle of beer and then quoted,

"A mathematician confided, that a Mobius strip is one-sided. You'll get quite a laugh

if you cut it in half, for it stays in one piece when divided."

Daniel, Sam and Jillian collapsed in hysteria.

"Oh god," Jack moaned, "Science geek humor."

"Hey!" Sam said.

Jack pointed at Daniel, "He said the 'g' word first!"

"Perhaps you would prefer that I translate another humorous story told by the Jaffa, O'Neill," Teal'c suggested.

"NO!" Jack, Sam and Daniel all said at the same time and then looked at each other and grinned.

Jillian glanced at Teal'c to see if he was insulted and found nothing but amusement in his expression.

"I gotta pee," Daniel said, standing up abruptly and heading for the door to Jack's deck.

"Daniel!" Jack snapped, "The bathroom is that way."

He pointed forcefully down the hall.

"The deck is closer."

"You're not peeing off my deck!" Jack said. "Teal'c, get Einstein to the bathroom for me?"

Teal'c stood.

"You live in the middle of nowhere!" Daniel said, but Teal'c had reached him by then and turned him in the direction of the hallway. "Hey, watch, I bet I'm still sober enough to walk across the back of the couch."

"If you want like a true challenge, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, "I suggest you try walking _around_ the couch."

They made it to the hall and Daniel looked confused for a moment and then started into the kitchen.

"The bathroom is this way," Teal'c said.

"Are you sure?" Daniel asked, sounding doubtful of Teal'c's sanity.

"Certain."

"Okay," Daniel sighed, heavily, as if he was only humoring his Jaffa friend, "If you're sure."

"Make sure he hits the bowl!" Jack yelled down the hall after them.

Sam and Jillian inadvertently looked at each and then rolled their eyes.

"Those of us sharing that bathroom with you would appreciate it!" Sam hollered.

"Do you ever wonder if we're being punished for something?" Jillian asked her," Being forced to hang out with three men all the time?"

"We should do a girls night," Jillian suggested. "Wine and cheese? Facials and manicures?"

"A Johnny Depp marathon? Starting with _Chocolat__?"_

_"_Sounds _wonderful,"_ Jillian purred.

Daniel's voice was loud, echoing off tile and porcelain.

"Hey! I can do _that_ myself."

"No more beer for him," Jack said.

"I think you may be right," Jillian agreed.

They were well into the next episode of the Simpsons when Teal'c and Daniel returned. Daniel flopped back into the corner of the couch and Jillian draped her arms and legs over him again.

"So what episode is this?" Daniel asked.

"Oh you're going to _love_ this one," Jack said, "Homer becomes a member of a secret society called the Stonecutters and accidentally destroys a sacred ancient parchment."

Daniel stared at him somewhat horrified. "And this is funny _how?"_

"Just watch," Jack assured him.

Daniel muttered something Jack didn't catch. Jack figured that was just as well. He watched Daniel slide further down on the couch, until his head was resting against it and the rest of him was once again sprawled mostly on the coffee table. At the least the scientist appeared to finally be willing to shut up.

At least, Jack thought, the scientist had made it back alive. They all had.

The episode _Homer the Great _played out for them and Daniel managed to say nothing for a little while. Then he wailed,

"He uses it as a _napkin? JACK!"_

This time it was O'Neill who laughed and couldn't stop.

(0)


	29. Chapter 29

The whole galaxy seemed to be rocking and spinning, and Daniel's head rocked and his stomach spun in agreement. He wasn't quite sure where he was but was unable, and unwilling, to try opening his eyes to find out. They felt all dried out and gummed together and he wondered if he had forgotten to take his contacts out again. No wait, that mission was over, so his glasses were around here somewhere.

The galaxy lurched again and Daniel had no choice but to roll over.

Leaning over the edge of whatever he was lying on, he tried desperately to be completely and violently sick. When it became apparent that he wasn't going to be sick and his insides were actually going to stay inside, Daniel collapsed onto his back. He waited there patiently for death, which he was sure was coming.

Several long moments came and went before he realized with bitter regret that he was still alive. A deep groan of frustration escaped him, causing his aching head to throb. He risked opening his eyes; and instantly shut them. Blinding white light stabbed his eyes like arrows and sent pain bouncing around the inside of his head.

At that point he realized he needed to use the bathroom. Learning from experience he opened his eyes just a crack.

He was in one of Jack's spare bedrooms; the one with the double bed. The pillow beside his was rumpled and the sheets were thrown back, which meant Jillian had been there at some point. She wasn't any more. He found his glasses on the nightstand, put them on and wondered why they didn't help things come into more focus. He got up, stood swaying for a moment and then made it as far as the hall and the bathroom without listing too badly, throwing up or tripping over his own feet. Wisely, he left the bathroom light off. He finished, washed his hands and then stuck his head under the shower and turned the cold water on full blast. The shock hit him hard and he clawed at the dial to turn it off. Leaning on the wall he tried to convince his cold-tightened chest muscles to let go of his lungs so he could breathe.

Then he toweled his hair and face and neck and dropped the towel on the floor.

Going back out into the hall he became aware of the smell of coffee. His stomach didn't react too adversely to the idea. He checked to see what he was wearing – nylon gym shorts and a t-shirt with a bold graphic of a mug of beer. The shorts he thought might be his, but the military issue ones all looked alike. The shirt was clearly Jack's.

Okay, but he was decent enough for the kitchen.

The smell of coffee pulled him inexorably. He got to the kitchen, hauled a chair away from the table and collapsed into it, pressing the heels of his hands against his temples and resting his elbows on the table.

"Good morning, sunshine," Jillian whispered.

She might have been whispering. To Daniel it sounded like someone had banged a gong inside his head. He winced.

"Have mercy, Jill," he begged. "Please don't yell."

"I'm not yelling. Do you want some coffee?" she asked.

Daniel whimpered. "I want you to kill me."

Had she just dared to laugh? He looked up. She was leaning against the counter with her arms folded across her waist, smiling at him.

"Um, Jill," he began hesitantly.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Last night, did we… I mean, did you and I….." he trailed off uncertainly.

"You don't remember?"

Daniel shook his head and realized his error too late. Even when his head stopped moving the room continued sliding back and forth and it felt like what was left of his brain sloshed around in his skull with it.

Jillian slunk towards him and draped herself across the table, resting her chin in her hand and giving him a sultry look. Daniel's mouth went drier than the Sahara.

"You _really_ don't remember?"

"Oh my god, I'm in so much trouble, aren't I?" Daniel asked. His heart was hammering in chest now.

She looked down at the table briefly and when she looked back up her green eyes were dancing like fireflies and her mouth was curled in a grin.

"You passed out on the couch," she said, "Teal'c carried you to the spare room, put you in what you're wearing and I joined you there a little bit later."

"Oh, thank god," Daniel muttered.

"Do you really think I'd give you a night you couldn't remember? Even in a drunken stupor?"

His pounding head simply didn't want to deal with deciphering what she had just said.

"Am I in trouble for having to ask?" he asked, carefully. He was totally prepared to grovel if he had to.

"No," she leaned in a little further and offered in a chaste and gentle kiss. "It's actually kind of adorable."

Daniel was extraordinarily pleased that she thought he was adorable. He watched her slide off the table. Even hung over he couldn't help but appreciate the tight jeans and beige camisole.

He folded his arms on the table and rested his aching head on them, closing his eyes again.

He heard heavy footsteps then and the sound of cabinets doors opening and banging shut. He cracked one eye open and saw Jack rummaging around in his own kitchen. There were four people in the room actually – two Jillians and two Jacks. He squeezed his eyes closed again because it seemed safer with people multiplying like that.

"Morning, Daniel," Jack's voice was like P90 fire, loud and insistent and echoing. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"He wants me to kill him," Jillian answered.

"Don't bother," Jack said, with a theatrical sigh, "He wouldn't stay dead."

"I don't want you to kill me anymore," Daniel said. He heard the sound of a ceramic mug being placed on the table in front of him and inhaled the warm scent of coffee rising from it. He sat up, took a sip and glared at Jack as O'Neill slammed a drawer. "But if he makes another sound, shoot him for me."

The coffee was hot and bracing and his stomach didn't seem to mind too much.

"I don't know why you drink, Daniel," Jack said, sitting down in the chair across from him and diving into a bowl of Fruit Loops. "Didn't you tell me once you don't even like beer?"

"Yeah, and this is why!" Daniel said, and then winced again at the spike that drove itself into his forehead.

He risked opening his eyes again. Jack and Jillian's doppelgangers had disappeared, thankfully. Sam and Teal'c came in from the deck, looking like they had been jogging around the lake. Daniel was mystified. He knew Sam and Jillian had been drinking last night too. So why weren't they inches from death like he was?

"What's for breakfast?" Sam asked.

"Well, there's a choice of cold pizza and," Jillian paused and sniffed cautiously at the gallon of milk Jack had left on the counter, "Fruit Loops with questionable milk."

"Milk's fine," Jack murmured around a mouthful of cereal.

"Could you chew any louder?" Daniel asked. He threw Jack a look that suggested O'Neill was something stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

"Is there any place that delivers something that looks like breakfast?" Sam asked.

"At 7:30 in the morning?" Jillian asked.

"Oh my god can we _please_ stop talking about food," Daniel whimpered. He took his glasses off and jammed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

The phone rang. Daniel was absolutely certain the sound would kill him. Sam was standing closest to it but Jack stood up quickly. His chair scraped across the floor as he did and Daniel moaned like the damned.

"I'll get it, Carter," Jack said quickly.

Sam stepped out of the way. No point in picking it up and having everyone in the SGC wonder why she was at O'Neill's house answering his phone at 7:30 am.

"Yeah, hello," Jack boomed into the receiver. "Hi, Mal."

"Jillian, please kill him," Daniel begged.

Jillian and Sam exchanged amused glances.

"He doesn't mean it," Jillian whispered.

"I think he does," Sam whispered back. She held her thumb and forefinger a tiny bit apart. "Just a little."

"Would you like me to kill him for you, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked.

"Teal'c, please don't yell."

"I am not yelling," Teal'c responded.

"Okay, yeah," Jack said to the person on the other end of the phone, "We just need to pour Daniel into a passenger seat and we'll be there…..Yeah, there may have been alcohol involved…. Jillian's with us… Give us two hours."

Without further conversation, Jack hung up. He turned to find four sets of eyes trained on him.

"The clearance for the Navy divers came through, "he told them. "SG8 is getting ready to take them to 901. They want Daniel and Jillian and the rest of us are invited along."

The intelligence Daniel had returned with concerning Anubis had renewed the interest in P3X-901 – the drowned and ruined site of his former glory.

Daniel looked over at Jillian with apology in his bleary eyes.

"It's not exactly the beach you wanted to show me when I got back," he said.

Jillian shrugged.

"On the other hand, I finally got the funding for 901 that I wanted in the first place."

Jack clapped his hands together and Daniel winced in agony.

"Okay, kids. Clean up and we can stop at Denny's for breakfast on the way to work."

"Can we _please_ stop talking about food?" Daniel pleaded.

There was a flurry of immediate activity as the SGC trained personnel scrambled to obey. Even Daniel gulped the rest of his coffee and stood. He had to rest his hands on the table for a moment to make the room stop swaying. But eventually it did; and when it did he was alone in the kitchen with Jillian standing next to him. Somehow she had refilled his coffee mug and was holding it out to him.

"Think you could drink this in a hot shower?" she asked.

"Will you come in and help me?" he asked, hopefully.

A slow, saucy smile teased at her lips. She slipped an arm around his waist and he slung one arm around her shoulders to help keep upright.

"I think that can be arranged," she said.

(0)


	30. Chapter 30

Daniel had hundreds of books. This fact had been brought home to him sharply the last few days when all those books had come down off the shelves and into packing boxes. He wasn't sure he had ever owned a book that meant more to him than the one in his hands.

He shifted on the air mattress, reached behind his head to adjust pillows and began flipping through it again.

It was an autographed first edition of _Northern Wars: The Military Campaigns of Seti I_. It wasn't a period of history that particularly interested him. It wasn't a Pharaoh whose life he wanted to read about. But the book had been written by Dr. Melburn Jackson, two years before Daniel had been born, and at some point his father had held it in his hands and signed it.

For some reason, Daniel found that utterly extraordinary. That Jillian had managed to track down this book and give it to him for his birthday was somehow even more extraordinary.

He opened it again and looked at his father's signature – a long powerful scrawl in which every letter was distinctive. It was a sharp contrast to Daniel's own signature, which Jillian claimed looked like a small flock of shore birds had run across the page with muddy feet. Her own wasn't much better, consisting of a J followed by an A, an N and then a squiggle that trailed off like the tail of a kite.

The only time he had ever seen her use her entire first name was in notes she signed to him. Inside the hardcover of the book he had found her birthday note to him, written in meticulous hieroglyphs. It was a poem from 1160 B.C., found on the tomb of Inherkhawy, in the ancient city of Thebes:

_So seize the day! Hold Holiday!_

_Be unwearied, unceasing, alive_

_You and your own true love;_

_Let not the heart be troubled during your time on Earth,_

_But seize the day as it passes!_

_Happy Birthday, leannan._

Jillian

The door of the quonset hut opened and Jillian came in, kicking off her sandals. After a long day spent diving and photographing underwater ruins and then trying to read the glyphs in their blurry state, Daniel should be exhausted. Instead, the moment he saw Jillian, he felt a rush of energy and exhilaration that swept his body like wild fire. The day beyond the door was fading and long beams of amber and gold flooded into the room with her, casting her in blazing sunshine.

"Is that my shirt?" he asked, setting the book on the floor beside the air mattress.

She looked up and the air between them sizzled when their eyes met.

"You want it back?" she asked and her voice licked flames over his body.

He nodded. She crossed the short distance between them and crawled across the bed with cat-like grace, her eyes suddenly tiger wild. When she was finally kneeling beside him he sat up, grasped the edge of the shirt and pulled it over her head. Beneath it she was wearing a camisole the color of a ripe peach. At first he thought it was lace over nylon and then realized it was lace over something so sheer her golden skin was shining through it.

"This is lovely," he managed to speak in spite of his dry throat.

"It's part of your birthday present," she said, "and part of me being so glad you came back from your last mission safe and unhurt," she paused and a deliciously wicked expression came to her features, "and with that delightful slave boy costume."

Daniel laughed. "Oh you like that, do you?"

Her eyes danced. "When you came through the Gate I went from being relieved to see you alive to wanting to drag you off to your quarters, in less than a heartbeat."

"You want me to wear it for you again sometime?" he asked.

"I'd like that." Jillian traced the tips of her fingernails along the engraved lines that delineated the muscles in his forearm. "Lose the little armbands. You spend too much time in the gym to cover up the results."

"Ok, I'll wear the slave boy thing again for you if _you_ wear that little Amazon princess thing you came back from 478 in."

Jillian's eyebrows went up but the joy and desire in her eyes was running freely.

"You have a deal," she whispered. She ran her fingers under the hem of his sleeveless T. "Take this off?"

He put his glasses on the mattress and peeled his shirt off over his head. Her eyes swept him for a moment. She leaned forward and pressed her lips reverently against his bare shoulder. Her hair flirted against his neck and chest. Daniel closed his eyes and inhaled. Jillian had just come from the shower. Damp warmth and lavender rose from her skin. Daniel couldn't remember ever becoming aroused so quickly, and by little more than the feeling of her lips on his skin.

When she leaned back again, his glasses were dangling from her finger.

"Put these back on," she said.

"Why?" he asked, suspiciously.

"I told you. I find you almost unbearably sexy with them on," she purred, "Do you have any idea what it does to me in the morning, watching you shave wearing nothing but these?"

"What's it do?" he asked, though he suspected he knew. He slipped them on and blinked as the world refocused.

His only answer was a slow, sexy smile. His heart pounded in an attempt to send more blood to the parts of his body that were suddenly demanding it. Jillian's hand moved up his inner thigh and stopped at the edge of his gym shorts.

"What do you have on under these?" she asked.

_Have mercy, Jill,_ he thought. Aloud he answered, "Nothing."

"Leave them on then."

He took a long, deep breath and let it out and then another. He picked at the shorts she was wearing with his thumb and forefinger.

"What about you?" He asked.

She rose up on her knees and lowered her shorts slowly, revealing a pair of boy-cut lace panties that matched the camisole.

"You sure do know how to pick great birthday presents," he murmured.

She blushed a little and looked decidedly pleased. Daniel realized suddenly that she was happy he liked this; that her pleasure was wrapped up in his. He leaned forward enough to brush his lips against hers. Jillian cupped the back of his neck and held him there, deepening the kiss for a moment.

"Grow your hair longer for me," she said, when they came up for air.

"Right now?" he asked, with a lazy smile.

She laughed. "No, not this instant, but let it grow a little."

"Not like it was before," Daniel protested.

"No, we don't have to go back to the shaggy professor look….."

"Good!" he interjected.

Jillian hesitated. Daniel had cut his hair after a gust of wind had blown his bangs into his eyes while trying to cover Sam's retreat under heavy Jaffa fire. By some miracle, he had avoided hitting Sam. She knew what it had cost his civilian soul to surrender to a military haircut; but he had done it for the safety of his team.

"Just a little fluffier. This," she rubbed her palm over the back of his head, "This is a little bristly. I want something I can run my fingers through."

"Your birthday isn't until March," he pointed out, teasing.

"Christmas is coming," she smiled.

"Don't we have an anniversary in the Fall?"

"We don't do anniversaries, remember?"

"I remember it was the Fall," he said, softly. He ran his fingers through the silk strands of her hair. "The trees on the mountain were starting to turn the same color as your hair."

Color tinted her face again. He smiled.

"But if I let it grow now, it should be a little longer in a few weeks," he promised.

She kissed him, light and soft. With his fingers still caught in her hair he cradled the side of her head as his mouth and tongue danced with hers. When she pressed forward, eager, he dropped both hands to her hips and let them straddle between soft skin and tantalizing lace. The garment she wore was meant to entice, fuel to the kindling of desire. Awareness of her blazed from his hands to his brain to his groin as they ran over the sweet depression of her spine. He could feel her desire rising as he traced his fingers up the long column of nerves and skin and bone.

His hands slid back down and outward to the soft, taut skin at the dip of her waist. The arc of her ribs rose and fell in broken, erotic rhythm as she tried to kiss him and breathe at the same time. He paused there, resting his palms against her ribs, his thumbs rubbed against the lace covering the swell of her breasts.

"Oh god, Dan, wait, wait, please," she murmured.

One of Daniel's foster fathers – he'd forgotten which one – had taken it upon himself to give Daniel 'the talk'. At the time he had been fifteen years old and pretty convinced he was never going to have to worry about what girls meant when they said no. But the man had been pretty insistent that 'no' meant 'no' and sometimes even 'yes' might mean 'no' – a message Daniel had found to be utterly confusing. He was still kind of uncertain about 'yes', though, thank god, Jillian never sent him confusing messages.

He happened to really like it when she asked him to 'wait'. It meant she was reining in her own white-hot desire to focus on him.

He watched her extraordinarily beautiful eyes, emerald and gold around an inky black center, filled with hunger.

"It's supposed to be _your_ birthday present," she said, as if reminding herself.

"Touching you isn't something I wouldn't see as a gift, Jill," he said, "It's _your _body."

Fingertips ran from his cheek to his jaw, teased down his neck to his shoulder and stopped to make small circles over his heart.

"Tonight it belongs to you," she answered. "Tell me what you want."

Daniel broke eye contact, deliberately stared at a place beyond her. His shoulders rose and fell as he tried to breathe slowly. What he wanted wasn't something he ever asked her to do, but something she always did on her own and seemed to enjoy as much as he. When he looked back at her again it was through lowered lashes.

The wicked smile on her face told him she had figured it out. A heated ache spread through his body. A flush rose from his thighs to his chest and into his neck and face.

"Jill," he choked.

"Shhhh," she whispered, "Did you think I wouldn't? God knows I can hardly deny you anything."

Daniel surrendered. Her hands caressed him, stroked him, teased over hard muscle and sensitive flesh – his inner thigh, stopping just at the edge of his shorts, the cut of his hips and lower abs, the skin on his biceps. Her lips and tongue followed in adoration, sucking, licking, raising chills. Her teeth nipped at him and made him shiver and arch and gasp whatever phrase in whatever language came to him first. Jillian feasted on him at will, delighting in the shape of male muscle and the way his skin fit over bone and sinew. She touched him _everywhere _but the places he was craving to be touched.

By the time her fingers found the waistband of his gym shorts he was burning. Her breathing against his chest was steady and controlled, in sharp contrast to his own. She stripped him in a single smooth motion, leaving him in nothing but his glasses and his rampant desire.

She was still wearing peach and lace and a delectable smile. She put one knee between his legs and pressed. He had no choice. He parted for her like the waters of the Red Sea and let her kneel there. She took his face between both her hands and kissed him. He kissed her blindly, passionately, aching with erotic need and tenderness; on fire from her generosity.

When she at last broke the kiss, he was panting and groaning. She touched him finally, at long last, exactly the way he had been craving. With his erection encased in her hand and throbbing as she caressed him in long, hard strokes, the last of Daniel's conscious thought shattered.

By the time she had kissed her way down his chest and past his abs to replace her hand with her mouth and tongue, he knew only sensations – as powerful as lightning strikes, as scorching as wild fire. Prolonged and prolonged as she took him to the edge and kept him there, hovering on the brink of ecstasy.

Linguist, fluent in three dozen languages, he was robbed of speech. Incoherent sounds of pleasure were dragged from his dry throat and shaking chest. He gripped her hands convulsively. His head fell back. His muscles strained. The ecstasy built until he was crushing her hands in his. She worked him until he was thrashing with need, inarticulate with need.

Then suddenly, with a last teasing flick of her tongue she abandoned him. His eyes flew open. Thanks to his glasses, for once, the entire room was in sharp relief. Frantic, throbbing, he reached for her. There wasn't time to strip her of anything. Peach lace was pushed out of the way as she straddled him and slowly, _slowly, _exquisitely lowered the sweet, slick mystery of her body onto his.

Daniel's breath left him in a short, sharp sob of pure joy as he wrapped his arms around her. He buried his face against the hidden place where her neck met her shoulder and knocked his glasses askew but he didn't care. His eyes were closed again anyway. He thrust and thrust hard, plunged and withdrew and heard her sobbing with him. She clung to him and dug her nails into his shoulders and it was _his_ name she whispered over and over as she climaxed. He drove up one more time and was plunged into blessed release.

Consciousness came back in tiny increments. He knew only that they were still clinging to each other, trembling like leaves in a hurricane and fighting for calm breath. They were both sheened in a fine sweat. Damp tendrils of hair curled around Jillian's face.

Daniel raised his head and let go of her just barely long enough to adjust his glasses. He looked into her eyes and found them wide and dark and filled with rapture. He felt free suddenly, safe and secure and utterly possessed by her.

Jillian leaned back and cupped his face between her hands again, stroking her thumbs over his cheekbones. She gazed into his eyes as if she was seeing him for the first time. Words failed him again. It seemed impossible that there were any words in any language that could follow what they had just shared.

He fell over sideways, carrying her with him. She curled up with her head under his chin, arms and legs a complicated, contented tangle. He was forced to take his glasses off but, unwilling to move, he simply closed them and held them in his hand.

"Don't go tomorrow," Jillian murmured.

Daniel's soul flinched. "It's just a second contact, Jill. No big deal. We'll go check out 4C3 and I'll be back before dark. I'm more useful there than here for the moment."

"Not to me," she said, tilting her head up to look into his eyes.

He bent his head and stopped whatever else she wanted to say by kissing her rather thoroughly. He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay right here on this over-inflated air mattress with the faint sound of an ocean seeping in through the metal walls and hold Jillian forever. The moment was perfect, but its very transience was part of what made it perfect.

"I'll be back," he promised.

She looked like she might argue again, but then she smiled softly, nodded and settled against his chest again. As the night closed in on them, Daniel folded her once more time in his arms and held her like he would never let her go.

(0)


	31. Chapter 31

**Striking a balance between what Meridian needed and what it didn't was a challenge. For the most part the show stands alone and all I wanted was to add Jillian in a small dose. This is mostly missing scenes. The chapters that follow will take Jillian through the grief, the loneliness and the romance of loving an Ascended Daniel; also how she survived "season 6."**

He stood, trembling, watching the Kelowna Gate encode and wrapping the bandage around his throbbing hand. Eyes fixed on the Gate as it hit chevron four, he snapped in a strangled voice,

"Jack!"

"What?"

"Jillian's on 901."

"Okay, we'll get her."

Daniel looked at him then, eyes blazing.

"Leave her there." His eyes may have been fire but his tone was ice.

"Daniel..."

"Leave her there!" It was a whiplash and Jack barely stopped from flinching.

"Daniel..." Confusion.

"Jack!" Impatience.

Jack opened his mouth to protest again and was cut off by his second in command.

"Sir," she pleaded.

Jack looked at Sam and straight into the haunted, terrified abyss of her expression. Jack swallowed against the ache in his throat. Sam had always understood Daniel a little better than he had; and she was agreeing with him. She didn't want Jillian recalled yet either. Whatever this was, it was bad. Very bad.

Chevron six clanged as it encoded and Jack turned to watch Daniel again. He was staring determinedly at the ground. His shoulders were rising and falling as if he was concentrating on dragging air into his lungs. Daniel was furious and frustrated and terrified by something he couldn't stop.

He wanted to grab the archaeologist and choke the truth out of him; except that Daniel wouldn't let anyone touch him.

Sam agreed with Daniel about that too. Fear skittered up Jack's spine and raced through his veins. Daniel's face was cut and his hand was burned. The Kelownans were glaring at him as if he had committed some unspeakable evil – (_Daniel?_)

_Christ, Daniel, what have you done_, Jack thought.

Daniel was striding up through the Gate almost before the wave had finished erupting. Sam took off after him, leaving Jack and Teal'c to hurry after them.

Maybe they'd get more details out of Carter once Daniel was in Janet's care.

At least Jack hoped so.

(0)

_Hours later…._

Jack sank into a chair and tried not to look weary. Daniel may not have ever really accepted Jack as a commanding officer, but the training was too ingrained. One of his men was in serious trouble. It was up to him to be brave and stoic and positive, even if his own heart felt like lead and they might finally be facing something they couldn't beat.

"Did you change your mind about Jillian yet?" Jack demanded.

Jack was confused and angry and ready to take Daniel on. If anyone could talk Daniel into fighting, into having hope, it might be Jillian. But Daniel shook his head.

"No," he said and Jack wondered how the hell he could be so calm. "No. She isn't expecting me until tomorrow. By then it will be over."

"Daniel…"

"Jack!" Daniel paused, fighting a mental and emotional battle with himself. When the words would finally come they would come in a rush that Jack would have to struggle to keep up with. Jack waited.

And then the dam broke and the flood came,

"Jillian watched her mother die of cancer, by inches, slowly and painfully and she's never, _never_ gotten over it. I can't do this to her. I can't make her watch me die. I-i-i-f she just comes back tomorrow, I'll be gone. It will be l-l-l-like I was shot, just gone, instantly. The loss will be the same but not the memory that goes with it. The last few nights," he stopped and drew a long, shaky breath, "The last few nights have been ….. magical. Let that be what she remembers. Jack. Please."

Jack stared at him, struggling to understand.

"Don't you want to tell her goodbye?" he asked.

He still didn't believe Daniel was going to have to tell anyone goodbye, but he was also still hoping Daniel would change his mind about Jillian. She should be there. It felt wrong.

Daniel focused briefly on the wall beyond Jack's shoulder.

"I've never told her how much I love her," he said, softly.

"_Jesus, _Daniel," Jack growled.

Daniel's eyes flicked back to him.

"I'm not going to leave her with an 'I love you' that's really 'goodbye'. I can't, Jack. She'll never be able to get past it. She'll never hear those words again and not hear goodbye – a final goodbye, the kind that hurts the most because there can't ever be a reunion to ease the pain. Maybe it's selfish, Jack, but I can't look into her eyes and know how much I'm hurting her. I _know _this hurt. I _know _this loss. I know exactly what she's going to feel and exactly what she's going to go through and I can't help her the way Sha're helped me," Daniel paused and swallowed.

A silence followed for a long moment; a painful silence in which it felt like a storm was gathering on the horizon. Jack felt an enormous pressure on his chest, as if something was trying to break through and crush his heart.

"The last time I looked in her eyes," Daniel went on, "I saw our future, everything I wanted; and I think she was seeing the same thing. We were looking into each other's eyes and we were perfectly content. We were having pizza on a packing box in our brand new living room. There was candle light. She was laughing. _God,_ I love the way she laughs. It was like the air was _alive_ with our thoughts and we didn't have to say anything."

He stopped again, tears burning in his eyes; and Jack thought how amazingly good with words this man really was – this man he didn't understand and was really important to him. This man he couldn't imagine living without.

"I told her I'd see her in a few days and she believed me. You've _got_ to understand, Jack. You can't go get her. I won't take the good memories away from her, not to replace them with _this."_

"With _what_, Daniel?" Jack demanded. "Getting a chance to see you? Talk to you, touch you one more time?"

Daniel looked back at him, horror in his eyes.

"You really don't know do you?" he asked, in a voice gone flat and lifeless. He took a deep breath and sank into his 'lecture' mode. "I'm already running a fever. That's going to be followed by nausea and vomiting. The nausea will be followed be tremors, convulsions and something called ataxia….

(0)

_Two days later….._

Jillian knew. She knew the moment she left the event horizon and started down the ramp and looked up to find Jack standing in the doorway of the Gate Room with his hands jammed in his pockets and Teal'c standing next to him looking gray and defeated. Jack's eyes were on the ground. Teal'c was staring at her and the truth was there in his deep, black eyes. Her steps faltered and she stopped walking.

"No," she whimpered, backing up, shaking her head, "No…"

Blinded by pain, the room blurred and faded until her vision was narrowed only to those two men. The walls faded and emptiness rushed in. Jillian felt a flood of anguish start to crush her. She felt more than saw her own team turn and come back to her. She felt hands reaching out to support her, trying to balance reality with their unconditional love. Her knees buckled.

Something inside her snapped and shattered and for a fleeting moment she felt intense pain and agonizing grief. Then blackness descended and she felt nothing at all.


	32. Chapter 32

_Jillian, gràidheag,_

_If you're reading this it means I didn't return from my last mission. No words in any language will be able to ever express how sorry I am for this or the profound regret and sadness I feel for the multitude of mistakes I made and the hurt they caused you._

_From the first moment we kissed and you touched my heart, I knew my life would never be the same. You made me want to live again and that was a miracle._

_If you now have to face a tomorrow when we're not together there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you._

_Wherever I am, please know I remain now and forever,_

_Yours,_

_Daniel_

The paper in her hand had been given to her by General Hammond. It had been opened and refolded many times. It was tear-splotched and wrinkled and one of the most precious things in her possession. She leaned on the railing of the deck and looked out at the stars. Inside the house – the one still full of boxes and scattered furniture, the house she should have been sharing with Daniel – she could hear the sounds of Teal'c moving around. He had made dinner but she had only taken a few bites, mostly to make him stop scowling at her. Teal'c had taken Daniel's request that he watch over her very seriously, even to moving into the guest room when she had come back to the house.

That had been two weeks ago.

She wasn't sure what she had done in the days that had passed. They had simply gone by. The nights…..

At night the agony knocked her senseless. Having spent another day without Daniel's beloved presence, her heart beating like an angry fist against her ribs, she crawled into the bed they had shared because it was the only place she felt safe. Sandalwood and cedar permeated his side of the bed, and in the dark with her arms wrapped around his pillow and the plush lion he had given her, she could almost believe that he was just away for a little while. She could almost believe that she would wake one more time to find him creeping into the room, trying not to wake her as he slipped into the bed and cuddled up against her.

Waking in the morning alone, she felt a longing so bitter and tight it yanked her out of a sleep that had been barren of peaceful dreams. Sometimes she got out of bed before her broken heart had a chance to bleed fresh tears.

She folded the paper and felt the tears begin again. The pain was always there, the anguish.

Jack told her it would be all right, to trust Daniel to find a way back; and she wanted to believe it. She _needed _to believe it.

But what if Daniel didn't want to come back? What if he was on the adventure of his life and had forgotten them?

She knew why he had done it. He had saved millions of lives and she had always known that if she lost Daniel it would be something exactly like that. Tonight while she stood on the deck of their new house and let grief consume her, millions of people on a planet light years away were living their lives and _not _mourning their lost loved ones – because of Daniel. Because the man she loved had more courage and more heart than anyone she had ever known.

And then, dying, he had done what Daniel always did – he had found a way to survive anyway.

She wiped the heels of her hands against her eyes and swept away tears.

"Damn it, Daniel," she murmured. "How could you leave me?"

A star blazed across the night sky; a spectacular moment of light in the dark, a fleeting glimpse of lost possibilities. Gone. Like Daniel. Jillian lost her battle with grief and went to sit in a patio chair that had been tossed carelessly out onto the deck. She hid her face against her hands and wept like a lost child.

Watching from the sliding door, Teal'c leaned a forearm on the wall, his hand curled in a fist, his head bowed.

He had lost a brother. He had lost a man who should have hated him and had become one of his greatest friends. He understood the monumental pain Jillian was feeling. It struck him like a physical blow. He walked out onto the deck and knelt in front of her.

"Jillian," he said, quietly.

She looked back at him with eyes tortured by sorrow just before lunging into his open arms with a broken sob.

She wanted morning and noon and sunset with Daniel. She wanted his bright intelligence, his smiles, his kiss. She wanted the scent of his hair, the taste of his skin, the touch of his breath on her face. She wanted the summer, fall and winter of his life. She wanted the feel of his body covering hers, driving her to ecstasy and the sound of her name on his lips. Her heart only ever had one thought, one want.

One _need_. Despite all, in spite of all...

All she had ever wanted she had found in Daniel. She was now cold, lonely and desolate for something she could no longer have.

Teal'c sat back on his heels, rubbed his hands on the oversized beige sweater she was wearing, moving it up and down her arms. He knew it was Daniel's. Teal'c had seen him wear it many times.

"I can't stay here, Teal'c," her breathing hitched on a suppressed sob, "There are a thousand places I can't go, a thousand things that are like a fresh wound."

"Daniel Jackson asked me to watch over you," Teal'c said. There was a flicker in his expression, a narrowing of his eyes. "Where do you intend to go?"

_Damn,_ Jillian thought, _he's going to get grumpy about this._

"The Caribbean," she answered carefully.

He frowned. "Where is the Caribbean?"

"It's far," she admitted, and when it appeared that he may actually growl at her she said quickly, "It's in the Atlantic Ocean. There is an island off the east coast of this continent. My family has a house there. I had already asked if anyone was using it right now. I was going to take Daniel. We were going to go away from a while, together. But we never got the chance."

Half of Teal'c's face was cast in shadow, the other cast only in the glow from the pale moon and the porch light. Jillian looked at him, pleading for his understanding. Teal'c's steady presence had helped more than she could ever express. Something about his quiet pain had spoken to the agony in her soul. SG1 as a whole came closer to understanding what she had lost, though none of them had quite the same relationship with Daniel that she had. Even more than Mal and Rusty and Scotty, Teal'c had been able to help her. Heaven knew they had almost driven her crazy fussing and hovering until she had sent them all home.

Only Teal'c had refused to go. Sensing that trying to move him would be like a gnat against a boulder, she hadn't even tried.

"I need a place like that right now," she went on, "I need a place where I won't turn a corner and expect to see him; or feel like I'm just waiting for him to come through the door. I need..." She searched for words and couldn't find them. Her hands fluttered helplessly for a moment as if they could pull the words from the air, "I need to be alone."

Teal'c's frown increased and Jillian tensed for a fight she didn't want to lose. She wasn't sure how to make him understand, or that he would agree with her even if she could. She wanted to hide, to close off all the windows and doors of her life. She was afraid of this much pain. It was like some emotional law of physics in which the agony she felt at Daniel's loss was in direct proportion to how much she had loved him.

And she had loved him with her entire soul.

She wanted the sound of ocean waves in the hope that she could drown out the beat of her own heart, reminding her every moment that she was alive and Daniel was not.

"Teal'c," she whispered quietly, "I need to figure out what to do now. I don't even know who I am any more, without him."

He was still scowling, but looked less inclined to growl.

"What do you want me to do?"

She made helpless gestures with her hands again. "Live in the house? Watch over it. There's someone coming in a few days from UCLA, a former colleague of Daniel's. He's going to go through this stuff and tell me what should be donated for display at museums. I think Daniel would like that and I ... I can barely look at any of it. I can wait until that's taken care of and then I need to go away for a little while. I feel so...so...lost."

The tears came before she could stop them. Teal'c gathered her in his arms again.

"I want him back," she sobbed, clinging to him and trembling, "Oh, _god_, Teal'c I want him back."

Teal'c held on tight as his own tears blinded him. "I know, Jillian," he murmured, "I know."

(0)


	33. Chapter 33

_There was nothing but mist and darkness. Jillian could see but she had no idea where the dim light was coming from. The mist opened and revealed a twisted path spiraling upward. On either side of the path there were jagged rocks that pointed sideways and inward like a mouthful of sharp teeth. The ground shimmered, wet and slippery. Treacherous._

_But there was something up there she __had __to reach. Jillian took a long, slow breath and began to climb, leaving little pieces of her clothes and of her soul on the hungry points of rock. There was nowhere to stop and rest and she didn't want to anyway. Something at the end of this path was too important._

_She moved around a bend in the spiral and saw a light ahead. Drawn in spite of the danger she kept going until the rocks ended and she found herself once again in a patch of mist and darkness. _

_But in this darkness she was no longer alone. Daniel was standing at a small table. His attention was trained so intently on something that he was unaware of her. Jillian fixed her eyes on him like a desert traveler afraid that he was a mirage, and not the oasis she craved._

"_Daniel?" she said, softly, not certain he was real._

_He looked up, blue eyes sweeping over her._

"_Hi, babe," he said._

_The soft cadence of his voice washed over her like a cleansing ocean wave. Jillian wondered how, even in her dreams, she could have recreated that beloved voice so perfectly._

_Daniel returned to whatever he had been doing for just a moment before looking back, puzzled, "How did you find me here?"_

_Jillian shrugged, hugged her arms across her waist._

"_It's my dream. I guess I could find you anywhere I wanted you to be."_

_"You're not dreaming. No one should be able to find me here, but you did," he answered. "We __are __perfect for each other, Jillian. Not because either of us is perfect, but because our flaws cancel each other out. It is our scars that align, not our stars."_

_She watched him return to the object on the table._

_"We __**were**__ perfect, Daniel," she whispered. She shivered in the darkness and mist. "Next time I'll make a nicer place and an easier path to get here."_

_Daniel shook his head, "You didn't make this place, or the path."_

_She frowned at him. "Who did?"_

"_I did."_

"_Why?"_

"_To hide," he said._

_"From me?"_

_He looked at her again and she was suddenly floating in his eyes, in love and in peace. He radiated a calm acceptance that she fell into._

_**Why did you leave me?**__The thought hammered at her but she couldn't give it voice, not even in dreams. The answer terrified her._

"_I've never left you, Jillian, not even for a moment."_

_She took a long breath and wondered why it hurt._

_"You've been gone for weeks," she corrected him mildly._

_"Time is an illusion," he answered._

_In spite of the surrealism of the dream she couldn't help but smile a little._

_"Douglas Adams, __The Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe,"__ she said._

_Daniel paused and pondered that. "Him too;" and then he gave her smile so filled with kindness and humor and love that warmth washed over her._

_"If you aren't hiding from me, who are you hiding from?" she asked._

"_I'm not supposed to be doing this," he said, vaguely._

"_There's something you can't do? Aren't you all powerful now?"_

"_Well, not __**all**__." He paused as if trying to figure out how to explain, "There are ...rules;" he sounded disgusted suddenly, shook his head and went on, " but the ocean no longer reaches the shore and the pyramid is shattered."_

"_Shattered?" she repeated._

"_A pyramid cannot stand with only three sides."_

_Jillian walked towards him and the mist swirled as she past. She wanted to touch him, but sensed that she couldn't._

"_In my next dream I'm going to make you less cryptic too," she muttered._

"_You're not dreaming. You're in that place between sleep and being awake where anything is possible; and you understand what I said," Daniel answered._

_He smiled at her again and she forgot whatever it was she had been going to say to that._

_**Daniel.**_

"_You ran to the sea," he said, and went back to focusing on the object on the table._

"_To the Caribbean," she said, "Yes."_

"_I know," he still wasn't looking at her._

_Since it didn't surprise her that he knew where she was she changed the subject._

_"What are you doing?"_

_"You can't see it?"_

_She peered closely at the table and all she could see was mist._

_"No," she answered._

_Daniel sighed._

_"It's worse than I thought," he murmured._

_The mist cleared and then Jillian could see a sculpture made of colored glass. It had been beautiful once. At first Jillian thought it looked like an exotic tropical plant, beautiful and possibly dangerous. But then she realized the base was more like waves out on the ocean, undulating in swirls of blue and green and foam. The waves seemed to wash up on a desert shore of sand in shades of sugar and cream. The two merged seamlessly, hinged together perfectly._

_From the base rose two spires, graceful and filled with color - black to white and every shade in between. The colors exploded like fireworks. They met and spiraled around each other, lovely and entwined; vibrant and unique and complimenting each other._

_At least Jillian knew that's what the sculpture should look like. When it had been whole, its beauty had known no bounds, no limits. Breathtaking. Fantastic._

_Sounds seemed to come from the glass - voices, music, laughter. She thought she heard children playing._

_But something had shattered it in places. The base was cracked from the outside, spidery lines reached inside and sought its destruction. One spire was melted and leaning sideways. Smaller pieces that should have grown from it were in fragmented bits, tiny shards that would cut if handled carelessly._

_Jillian understood then that Daniel was trying to repiece the sculpture._

_"I have to fix this," he said and he sounded sad. "They won't let me."_

_"They?" Jillian wrenched her eyes away from the ruins of beauty to look at him again._

_"The others," he answered, "Not even Oma. So I brought it in here. I have to fix it."_

_Jillian looked at the sculpture - the melted edges and sharp fractures, the insidious cracks and lacerated colors._

_"Daniel," she said, trying to be kind, "This can't be fixed."_

_His eyes were bleak. "I have to," he said._

_"Why?"_

_For the first time since she had found him in this dream, Daniel started talking fast, sounding almost like himself._

_"Because I broke it! I did it. It was an..an..an accident but it happened and I have to make it right. I didn't mean it. This and..and the pyramid. They're all broken because of me but I didn't mean it."_

_She had an utterly irrational need to comfort him._

_"Of course you didn't! You've been handling delicate things your entire life. You'd never break something that wonderful on purpose."_

_His gaze swept her again, grateful for her understanding. _

_"I'll fix it, Jillian, "he said, "I swear I will."_

_"I think you should leave it, Daniel. I don't think you can fix it."_

_"It's too important," he said, impatiently, turning back to the sculpture and lifting a tiny shard into place._

_"Why?"_

_"Don't you understand what this is?" he asked, as if it was obvious to him and he couldn't comprehend why it wasn't to her._

_"It's a work of art. It was once lovely," she answered, brow furrowed._

_Daniel looked back at it and she could tell he was seeing it as it once was. There was such longing on his face that she could feel her heart breaking all over again. He ran his fingers reverently down the remaining spire._

_"It's you," he said._

_Jillian's breath froze and her heart stuttered._

_"It's you and I together. It's our future and what could have been."_

Jillian sat up abruptly, drawing moist tropical air into her frozen lungs and crying out his name as she exhaled.

"Daniel!"

There was just enough moonlight to illuminate the tropical bedroom, shimmering from the white netting around the bed and gleaming from the teak walls and ceiling. A breeze blew the sheer curtains and the wind chime on the deck made a sad, lonely little sound.

She laid there for a moment, trying to adjust to where she was, clutching Daniel's stuffed lion and breathing hard. She wasn't sure whether she had just woken up from a dream or if she was still _in _one.

She wasn't even sure if she wasn't in someone else's dream; or if she had woken up from something bizarre to find that her reality wasn't much of an improvement.

She sat up and a warm breeze swirled around her again.

_I've never left you, Jillian, not even for a moment…._

"Daniel?" she said, into the moonlight.

This time not even the breeze answered her. Jillian pulled her knees up and hugged them against her body. Bowing her head she closed her eyes and let the tears fall unhindered.

(0)


	34. Chapter 34

_She stood once more at the base of the path and remembered the strenuous climb with no small amount of fear. It seemed no less slick and treacherous than it had the time before, even though she knew that Daniel was most likely at the top of it._

_"Daniel, why does this have to be so hard?" Jillian murmured._

_He had been taken from her and something in her soul refused to just wait for him. She had to go after him. She'd fight her way through fire and rain and whatever else stood between them to get to him_

_Then, it changed. As she watched the path became wider. The rocks receded and a trail of stars appeared just over the wet ground, spiraling upward like a flight of fireflies._

_**Come to me...**_

_She wasn't certain that she had really heard anything but the compulsion to move was suddenly more imperative than the need to breathe. She took a cautious step forward and found her foot resting on the gathered light._

_This time the climb was effortless as she put one foot after the other on the burning glimmer of thousands of tiny suns. This time when she reached the top there was still mist, but the darkness was gone. In its place was a beach with an endless ocean lapping calm, peaceful waves against a sandy shore. Over head was a blue sky filled with drifting wisps of clouds._

_Sea gulls called and a flock of shore birds ran up and down with the waves at the water's edge. The scent of salt water was sharp and tangy. Mist still swirled around her feet and obscured the beach, but that was all right._

_"Is this better?"_

_Jillian almost jumped, startled by his voice so close behind her. Five years in the Star Gate program had conditioned her better. She turned slowly and found him standing behind her._

_"Daniel," she whispered. She caught her breath and stared at him._

_"I didn't think you liked the decor before," he said, with a small smile, "I forgot it was all you could see."_

_Mystified she asked, "What can you see?"_

_His gaze turned inward, thoughtful, wondering. An enigmatic smile played with the corners of his mouth._

_"Everything," he answered in an awe-filled and reverent voice._

_Jillian shivered and the distance between them suddenly felt wider than space with no Star Gate to link them. An ache began in her heart, moved into her throat and spilled from her eyes._

_She had his instant attention again._

_"I wish I could wipe away one of your tears," he said, "Then maybe I would feel like I was more than just a light."_

_"Aren't you?" she asked. "More?"_

_"In a way," he said, "But your tears ... they sound like a thunderstorm on a tin roof, as if I can hear your heart breaking. I can't separate myself from it. I can only stand and listen and wait for the roof to break and all that sorrow to drown us both. The only thing that's worse is the silence right before you cry, when I know the storm is about to break."_

_"What do you want me to do, Daniel?" she asked._

_"Yell at me," he said, and he looked serious, "I've seen your passion, Jillian and I deserve it. Rail at me. Let me be on the receiving end of your temper. Rain hot tears and anger on me. Shatter the roof and let me drown."_

_She turned away though it tore at her to lose sight of him._

_"What good would anger do? I can't change what happened and I can't stop you from being you. There's too much grief. There's no room for anger."_

_"Then stop grieving alone; at least for now, until the anger comes. Go home," he said. "They need you."_

_"You were my home," she answered, turning back to once again drink in his beloved face. "There isn't anywhere for me to go."_

_His vision drifted away again. The inverted V between his brows furrowed deeply._

_"The pyramid is in more danger. It may crumble," he said, "You have to go."_

_"Daniel, what pyramid?" she asked, helpless and confused._

_His eyes came back to her, shadowed but certain._

_"You know already."_

_"You can't tell me, can you?" she guessed. "They're stopping you."_

_"We can't interfere," he said and she sensed even though his peaceful expression didn't change that the restriction was a thorn he couldn't quite pluck out._

_Jillian looked into his eyes as if she was seeing them for the first time - eyes the color of the sea and the sky and in them she saw the power to create mountains or tear them down; and the hopelessness of accepting the things he could not change._

_"He's coming," Daniel said, abruptly, "Go with him."_

_"Who? Daniel..."_

Before she could finish saying his name everything dissolved and she was once more sitting in the chaise lounge on the deck of the beach house. The stuffed lion had fallen to the floor and Daniel's letter was still in her hand.

She could hear the sound of wheels crunching on the gravel of the driveway. Jillian stood, folded the letter and put it in the pocket of her shorts. She picked up the disheveled lion and put him on the chair, then went to the front door, trying not to cry again at the realization that she was back on Earth.

Teal'c was exiting a sleek black jeep, similar to the one she had rented a few weeks ago. He was wearing an island shirt with white flowers on an orange background, a straw hat, a pair of jeans and flip flops.

For some reason, Jillian smiled. He looked more like he 'belonged' than she had ever seen him.

"Hi," she said, as he joined her on the porch.

Teal'c paused and stared at her.

"You do not seem surprised to see me," he observed.

"I don't think I am," she answered, remembering the odd moments just before Teal'c's arrival, "I was having iced tea on the deck. Come join me."

Teal'c followed her through the beach house, through a large sitting room with bamboo furniture and fans shaped like giant leaves, under a soaring teak wood ceiling. An entire wall was open at one end to showcase the stunning view of aquamarine ocean and sugar sand beach beyond. She waved him through to the deck when she turned into the kitchen. There was a long dock that crept out into the pale blue water until it turned a startling shade of sapphire. There was a sail boat anchored at the end, bobbing gently in the tide. Teal'c paused at the deck rail to take in the view. He was constantly surprised by the variety and beauty of his chosen world.

Jillian joined him a moment later with a glass of ice and a pitched of amber liquid. She poured it for him, gave it to him and then sat down in the chaise lounge again. Teal'c sat in the one beside her, on the other side of the small wooden table that now held the iced tea pitcher.

She stared out at the sea for a little while and Teal'c waited. He made note of the shadows under her eyes and the red rim around her eyes. He saw he way she sipped her tea as if her throat ached and clutched the odd stuffed lion as if she would never let it go.

"Tell me the pain goes away, Teal'c," she said, finally.

Teal'c didn't answer right away. He thought back over the last one hundred plus years of his life, thought of Drey'auc, and of Shaun'auc, of the three sons he had sacrificed to the cause of a false god.

"I cannot tell you that, Jillian," he said, finally, "for it does not. The loss is always with you. Death breaks your heart in a way that can never really be mended. At some point, you merely learn to live around the absence of the one you love. But I would still rather have eyes that could not see and arms that could not hold a weapon than a heart that could not break."

Jillian looked at him finally. Warrior, philosopher, braver than any lion, Daniel's friend, _her _friend. She said nothing for a long, long time, then looked back at the sea and said,

"I came here so nothing would remind me of Daniel and I think of him every time I look at the color of the water."

Teal'c took in the pale blue sea shimmering in the sunlight and understood what she meant.

"You came here to take me back to Colorado, didn't you?" she asked.

"I did," he admitted. She could tell from his tone of voice that he was prepared to argue with her. No doubt he was prepared to put her bodily into one of the jeeps and tie her there if necessary.

To his surprise she just nodded.

"I'll need time to pack and close up the house. But I can be ready by tomorrow."

Teal'c decided to take the victory and be silent about it.

"I will assist you," he said.

(0)


	35. Chapter 35

**Jillian returns to the SGC sometime between Descent and Frozen. Again, no idea of any kind of real time line in Stargate, except that each season and the 3 month break between them seems to be a year, so I'm just using what makes logical sense to me. The 'present tense' in this chapter takes place as they are waiting for the Tok'ra to bring Jack back. The 'flashbacks' take place after Descent.**

Jillian wondered if Jonas Quinn was ever going to stop acting as if he could break her into a million little pieces by saying the wrong thing; or if he was ever going to stop jumping out of Daniel's chair every time she entered the office, or backing out of the room if she happened to already be in the chair.

She wondered if Jonas would ever fully embrace the idea that she didn't blame him for Daniel's accident. The only one responsible for that was Daniel; and she couldn't even really blame him. Being angry with Daniel for saving lives while sacrificing his own was like being angry with Daniel for having blue eyes.

The first time she had tried to go to Daniel's office after her return from the Caribbean she had found the way politely but completely blocked by Teal'c and Scotty.

"Where ya going?" Scotty had asked while trying to make full use of his sun bleached good looks and ability to look boyishly innocent. Jillian had already decided that he wasn't as good at it as Daniel had been.

"To the office," she had said, looking from one to the other and trying to figure a way around them.

"Jonas Quinn is in the office," Teal'c had stated.

Jillian sighed in response and wondered just how many people Daniel had asked to watch over her in his absence. "He's always going to be in the office," she said. "It's what he does here; and it's why I came back. No one ever accused Daniel of being organized. He thought 'alphabetically' was a suggestion; probably because he would never pick just one alphabet to use. There's a file drawer in there with everything in Egyptian. Jonas needs my help just to get through the paper files. Let's not even get started on the computer."

Teal'c glowered at her and Scotty made an attempt to smile.

_When did they start playing good cop/bad cop,_ Jillian had wondered.

"Teal'c why did you bring me back here?" she asked.

"To resume your duties with SG8 and continue off world exploration," he replied, promptly.

Oh, okay, that made some sense. Off world there was little to make her think of Daniel, usually. Their primary mission off world was to find anything and everything to help Earth in its struggle to destroy the Goa'uld; and Daniel's determination to destroy the Goa'uld was no secret.

"And when we're not off world?" she asked.

"Your house still needs to be unpacked."

"Do I get any say in the matter?" she asked.

"Sure you do, Jill," Scotty said, soothingly, "We just… we want to make sure you're up to it. That's all. Have you eaten? We can go get something. I think it's Chinese today."

"Go with you so Teal'c can go drag Jonas out of the office?"

Scotty looked just guilty enough to give them away. Jillian glared at him.

"Don't you have a new girlfriend?" she asked, as if Scotty needed reminding about a relationship that had just started a few weeks ago. "Shouldn't you be fussing over her instead of me?"

Warmth and amusement crept into Scotty's eyes.

"She's off world," he said, "She gets treated to fussing at 1500 hours tonight."

"She has so much to look forward to," Jillian said, drily.

Scotty's grin just got bigger, until he noticed Teal'c's stony expression trained on him. Military discipline kicked in and he attempted to look at Jillian sternly.

"Are you sure you're all right?" he asked.

Jillian hesitated. Truthfully, she wasn't all right. At all; and she had no idea when she might accomplish anything that even looked all right. Her whole world had become nothing but dancing around the black hole left by Daniel.

"Look, guys, I don't blame Jonas!" That much was true, "If anyone has to be in Daniel's office, I'm glad it's the man who gave up his own planet to clear Daniel's name. He's a refugee now. The least we can do is help make him comfortable."

Eventually, on that first day, they had let her go. She'd had to promise not to 'overdo it' no matter that she had no idea what that meant, and to eat something. She noticed the frequency with which people just seemed to 'drop by' the office. Teal'c (multiple times), Scotty bearing egg rolls, Sam hand delivering the latest copy of American Anthropology, Rusty 'just saying' hi. The only ones who hadn't shown up had been Col Mallory – who was off celebrating his 20th wedding anniversary - and Jack. Jillian didn't know why she hadn't seen Jack, not for sure. But she had her suspicions. If anyone might be bleeding inside more than she was over Daniel's absence, it would be Jack.

Now everyone was waiting for Jack to return from the Tok'ra, after being forced against all instinct to become a host. They had been promising his return for days and yet – still no Jack. Sam was anxious and trying not to be. Jonas was confused and looking for guidance and Teal'c was getting very, very angry.

Jillian also wondered if the Tok'ra knew there were better ways to commit suicide than making Teal'c mad.

Following a pattern that now seemed set in stone for them, Jonas leaped out of the desk chair the moment Jillian appeared in the doorway.

"Dr. North!" Even when he didn't stammer her name it always seemed like he did.

"Jillian," she corrected.

She glanced at the television screen, tuned as always to the Weather Channel and playing a piece of classical music while it ran through the current conditions across the US.

"Any idea what the weather is in the Virgin Islands?" she asked.

"Eighty three degrees, light winds and scattered showers," he answered immediately, "Low of seventy four tonight, continued scattered showers all week."

Jillian offered him a small smile. He was adapting amazingly well to his new home world: measurements, counting, customs. Of course they hadn't let him leave the base and he was slightly immersed in only US culture. She didn't know how he would cope with the diversity that really existed out there. He had found the idea that Daniel spoke three dozen languages to be amazing.

He had taken an interest in the Virgin Islands when she had explained where she had been. He'd been monitoring it ever since.

_He really is very sweet, _Jillian thought.

"It doesn't sound like I'm missing anything then," she said.

"It's better than Moscow," he shrugged, "Fifty three at the moment with thunderstorms all week.

_Moscow. A balcony overlooking Red Square. Huddling against the wind in Daniel's coat. The warmth of his body trapped in it, taking away the chill…_

Jillian shook off the memory and tried to smile again.

"What are you working on?" she asked.

Jonas made a gesture at the computer screen.

"Some of Dr. Jackson's notes about P3X-901 are in Arabic. I've tried running it through a couple of online translators but…."

He was interrupted by the klaxon declaring a Gate activation.

"Maybe that's Col. O'Neill," he said, hopefully.

That hope was dashed when the phone rang a few moments later.

"Quinn," he said, into the receiver, as if he had been answering phones his entire life, "Yeah, Sam….. No it's okay…. I'll be right there."

He looked at Jillian.

"The Tok'ra are here, but without Col O'Neill. They want me in the Briefing Room."

Jillian bit her lower lip.

"Go," she said, "I'll translate Daniel's notes for you, and send you my own."

"Thanks," Jonas gathered a notebook and pen and left her alone in the office.

Jillian sat down at the computer but didn't immediately look at Daniel's notes. She looked instead at the scattering of things on his desk that Jonas hadn't moved. She had passed at least from that place where she couldn't bear to look at anything that had once been Daniel's, to treasuring the memories they held.

The goblet from 989 was still there; as was the bizarre little statue that looked like it might have come from the pacific islands except that it came from a planet light years away …

And the little pyramid paperweight that Jack had given him. Jillian had always thought it was one of those things between Jack and Daniel, unspoken like so much of their relationship. It probably meant something about Abydos and whatever had happened there that had permanently bound one's yin to the other's yang. Jillian picked it up, and was immediately surprised by how heavy it actually was. She turned it in her hand a few times, from one side to the other.

_The pyramid is crumbling….._ _It cannot stand with three sides….._

Three sides. A triangle had three sides. Jillian frowned and then turned it over and stared at the base.

Of course. A pyramid had four sides and the most important one was its base, its foundation.

Four sides. SG1. Sam, Teal'c and Daniel held together by the solid foundation that was Jack O'Neill.

Daniel had been trying to tell her SG1 was in danger, first shattered without him, with only three sides; and now…..

Fear slithered like a centipede down her spine.

"Oh my god….. Jack…..Where _are _you?" She looked up into the empty air and whispered fiercely, "Daniel, what were trying to tell me? Daniel, _do _something."

(0)


	36. Chapter 36

**This takes place immediately following Shadow Play. There weren't a whole lot of episodes in Season 6 that held my attention, to be honest. A season that offered Jack being brutally tortured, giant invisible bugs and no Daniel wasn't all that appealing to me. The Muse has given me many conversations between Jillian and Jonas, but Sunshine and Shadow isn't their story so I'm not sure they are necessary. Suffice to say that Jillian did become fond of Jonas in a sisterly way and she never blamed him for what happened to Daniel.**

**(0)**

The four of them sat in the grass at the Talon North overlook, chewing granola bars and drinking bottled water.

"This was a good idea, Jill," Sam said.

"Thanks," Jillian answered.

Jillian glanced at Jonas and found him staring out over the vista as Colorado gave up autumn to the inevitable winter. He seemed more relaxed than he had in days. Since the disturbing incident with Dr. Kiernan and the return to his home world, Jonas had been very quiet. Considering his usual heightened sense of curiosity and general good humor, the difference had been obvious.

It had been Jillian who decided to get him out of the basement and into the sunshine and fresh air. Even Hammond had agreed that a hike up Cheyenne Mountain was in order. Jillian had begged Sam and Teal'c to go with them. If nothing else she didn't want it to look like she was hitting on Jonas; but she also didn't want to go to Talon North without a crowd of people. She had never gone there before with anyone but Daniel.

Their support was unspoken but no less cherished.

"You haven't said much," Jillian said, to Jonas.

"It's really incredible," he said, "You'd never know all this was out here when you stare at concrete walls most of the time. It's weird that I can go off world but I can't come out here."

"It is a planet of great diversity," Teal'c observed.

"I'd like to see more of it," Jonas said, wistfully. "It's starting to feel more and more like home."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," Jillian said.

"Col O'Neill quit changing my TV to the fishing channel finally," he said, "and I did think to ask before I tried to requisition the tank like he asked me."

Sam, attempting to drink from her water bottle just as he said that, spit water all over her shirt and started choking. Jillian grinned.

"He did the same thing to me," Teal'c monotoned,

"What gave it away?" Jonas asked.

"His suggestion that I use the words 'big and honkin' on the requisition form," Teal'c said, drily.

Jonas laughed.

"There are a whole lot of things we can't do," Sam said, when she finally stopped coughing.

"Such as?" Jonas asked.

"We are not allowed to intone 'according to the prophecy' at debriefings," Teal'c answered, "or put it at the end of mission reports."

Jonas stared at him, trying to decide if the big man was joking. He looked at Sam for help and she looked back innocently.

"Brass doesn't care why you came back from off world wearing a slave girl outfit," Jillian advised.

Sam nodded in sympathy. "No, they really don't. They don't care what you do with it afterwards either."

"Well they might care if _I _do," Jonas protested, "I mean, _I'd _care."

"We're not allowed to threaten anyone off world with black magic," Teal'c went on, "or ask them for pieces of hair and fingernails in order to convince them that black magic exists."

Jonas was starting to chuckle.

"Let me guess," he said, "O'Neill."

"Yes!" Sam laughed. She paused as if savoring a poignant moment, "God, Daniel was _so _mad at him."

She glanced quickly at Jillian to see if she reacted to the mention of Daniel's name. She got a sad but reassuring smile in return.

Jillian shook it off quickly. Seriously she said, "Don't ask Rusty Davidson if he really made the height requirement for military service."

"Or if he's after your Lucky Charms," Teal'c added.

"Teal'c!" Sam squeaked.

The Jaffa's dark eyes sparkled even if his expression didn't change.

"When you're off world, don't decide to try 'something you saw on TV," Jillian advised.

"Or in a movie," Teal'c put in.

"Or in a cartoon," Sam said, "You really should _never_ try something you saw in a cartoon."

"Didn't Jack once try to…" Jillian began.

"Yes!" Teal'c and Sam both said at the same time. Teal'c sounded annoyed; Sam as if she was still stunned.

Jillian and Jonas both laughed.

"That sounds like a story I would like to hear," Jonas said, hopefully.

"We'll make him tell it," Sam promised. "That's when we found out that asking for forgiveness instead of permission really does seem to only apply to Col O'Neill."

"You should also not argue when they send you to planets you don't have the right security clearance for," Jillian said.

"That's happened?" Sam asked, shocked.

"Happened to me all the time in the beginning. I had no clearance for off world travel in spite of having an official posting with SG8 – and they'd send SG8 to a planet that was mostly Egyptian-style ruins and send me along anyway. Even Hammond was baffled."

"Do I get an automatic clearance if I'm _from_ off world?" Jonas asked.

Jillian, Sam and Teal'c exchanged glances and then shrugged.

"Do not call any US Senator immoral, untrustworthy, lying slime, even if he is," Teal'c went on.

"Did you have anyone in particular in mind?" Sam asked, drily.

Jillian groaned.

"Anyone I've met?" Jonas asked.

"Give it time," Sam answered.

Jonas gave them an alarmed look. Jillian wondered if he was thinking of the dysfunctional leaders of his own government.

"They're not all bad," she said, patting him on the arm comfortingly.

Teal'c tossed them all another round of granola bars.

"There are a couple of things I've learned," Jonas said as he peeled off a wrapper.

"Like?" Jillian asked, gathering the wrappers and stuffing them in a bag.

"I found out that when someone suggests I put kiwi on my boots it has nothing to do with fruit," he grinned.

The other three groaned.

"I hope you didn't find out the hard way!" Sam laughed.

"Teal'c stopped me," Jonas admitted. "I also found out that Gozer the Destructor doesn't really live in anyone's refrigerator. _No_ thanks to Teal'c."

Jillian gave Teal'c a _very _narrow look.

"He was afraid to open the refrigerator for a week," Teal'c said and there was no mistaking the utter glee in the deep voice.

"Ghost Busters was _not _a documentary," Sam said.

"Well, yeah, now you tell me," Jonas laughed. "And there aren't really evil clowns living on the Base, in spite of what Col O'Neill says."

"Depends on how you define clowns," Sam said.

"That's true," Jillian agreed.

Teal'c stood.

"We should go, if we're going to get back before dark," he said.

He offered Jillian his hand and helped her to stand. They packed up and started the hike back down the mountain. They had only gone a few yards when Jonas suddenly said,

"I do have a question?"

"Yes?" Sam asked.

"Is there really a Magic Eight Ball that command consults before making decisions?"

Jillian and Sam both laughed and Teal'c growled,

"O'Neill….."

(0)


	37. Chapter 37

**This takes place after Changeling – kudos to Chris Judge for some excellent writing. Everyone always writes about this episode and how wonderful Daniel's actions were. I had a slightly different reaction, and so does Jillian.**

**(0)**

Teal'c woke, which was unusual enough in itself as he rarely if ever slept. He vaguely remembered Janet Fraiser saying she had given him enough sedative to knock out a brace of mules (whatever that was) and Daniel Jackson telling him to sleep and everything would be fine when he woke up.

One hundred years of Jaffa instinct told him it was very early in the morning and that someone was sitting beside him. His own body told him to resist any sudden movement. He was certain he had more muscle aches than he had muscles, which was also unusual for a Jaffa.

He glanced sideways to find that the 'someone' was Jillian. She had her head pillowed on her arms, her eyes closed and a worried frown creasing her forehead. If she was asleep, it was not peaceful. He moved his arm slightly and Jillian's SGC honed instincts brought her upright.

She blinked and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

"Did I wake you?" he asked, though it occurred to him that wasn't something he had thought he'd be asking Jillian. Ever.

"No," she shook her head and cleared the dryness in her throat, "no. Did _I_ wake you?"

"Jaffa do not sleep," he informed her, with more than a touch of cultural pride in his carefully neutral tone.

"You were doing a fair impression of it then," she pointed out. She sat back and stretched the kink out of her back for a moment. "Jaffa don't live without symbiotes either, but you're doing a very good job of that too."

Teal'c considered that. He wanted to incline his head in acknowledgment but his sore neck refused to cooperate.

"Indeed," he finally said. "Why are you here, Jillian?"

"I couldn't sleep," she shrugged, "and, well, Daniel asked you to watch over me so I thought I would return the favor. Besides, I was afraid you would get out of bed AMA and come try to find me. I thought this would be easier on you. You've been taking this assignment to watch me pretty seriously."

"Are you going to get snarly about that again?" he asked.

A wise person would have fled the room when Teal'c used that tone of voice. Jillian just smiled a little. "Not tonight … or this morning… or whatever it is. You scared the hell out of me when you disappeared. I can tolerate a little fussing."

"I do not _fuss_," Teal'c growled.

Jillian regarded him quietly for a little while. She really _was _doing better. The members of SG8 had all been there for her as much as they could. She and Sam had created a small memorial to Daniel in the room at the house that should have been his office. Jillian knew she would never be able to use the room; and only she and Sam seemed to feel the need to memorialize him in some way.

But Teal'c – with no other family that concerned him and more experience with grief and loss than Jillian ever wanted to have – had intruded on her introverted solitude in ways no one else would dare. The rare appearance of her Scot/Irish temper fazed him as much as a wet bumblebee disturbed a mountain. He almost seemed pleased by it, as if temper was preferable to melancholy.

It was Teal'c who made sure she ate and unpacked the house and it was Teal'c who had taken care of Daniel's fish until she was ready to once again. It was Teal'c who appeared out of nowhere when the tears would suddenly returned – triggered by something as simple as finding the coffee mug that said '_Instant Archaeologist, just add coffee.'_ It was Teal'c who had dragged her to Home Depot and terrified the poor guy in the garden center until they had everything to start the rose garden out front that she had mentioned wanting once.

She was more grateful to him than she would ever be able to express and his disappearance really had scared the hell out of her.

"Is Janet going to release you today? The promotion ceremony is this afternoon. Scotty and Rusty will be _very_ unhappy if I'm not there."

"I will be there," Teal'c promised. He seemed to hesitate for a moment. The last few weeks Jillian had seemed fine – not so emotionally brittle. But he had to know so he asked, "Have you ever seen Daniel Jackson, Jillian?"

She jumped a little, as if he had jabbed her with a pin. "Since he died? Or passed over or whatever it is he did?"

Teal'c looked at her with narrowed, serious eyes.

"Sometimes, I think, maybe," she whispered. Her reluctance to voice the thought was obvious. She pressed her hands flat between her knees, so hard Teal'c wondered if she was going to cause bruising, "There's never any way to be sure it isn't just a dream."

"He has come to you more than once?"

"I'm not sure he's ever come to me," she answered, "I think I always go find him. He's in this misty place, hiding he tells me, but I'm still not sure from what. Why, Tealc? Did you see him just now."

"Are you sure you want to know?" Teal'c asked.

_No._ "Yes." Still she hesitated and then added, "Only if you want to tell me."

The infirmary was still quiet in the early hours just before dawn and they were utterly alone for the moment. Teal'c chose to tell her everything from the ambush to his hallucination to Daniel telling him to sleep and all would be well. He focused on the ceiling as he spoke so he didn't see her expressions changing during the course of his tale. When he finally looked at her again he lifted his head from the pillow in surprise. There was twilight in her eyes and her skin was like moonlight.

"Something upsets you," he stated.

"Doesn't it upset you?" she demanded.

"Which part?"

The edge in her voice was a sharpened blade.

"All of it!" she snapped, "Teal'c! Does that sound like Daniel to you? Letting you walk into an ambush he _must_ have known about? Standing around for _days_ watching two of his friends dying? _Watching? Daniel?"_

"Jillian," Teal'c began in the most reasonable voice he could manage.

She cut him off.

"Don't make excuses for him," she said, "I know he's your friend and you love him but I was with Daniel in Russia when he was negotiating for your life. I _know _what that was putting him through. Teal'c, he destroyed Thor's Hammer for you. Jack left that choice totally up to him and he chose you over Sha're! We weren't even together then but I swear I never loved him more than I did when I heard that; and now he just stands around and lets you get ambushed and nearly killed? You _and_ Bra'tac? What the hell is wrong with him?"

"He no longer sees things the same way, Jillian. He is an Ascended Being."

"So our lives don't matter to him anymore?" she sounded horrified. "It sounds more like he sold his soul for his continued existence."

Teal'c regarded her for a long time.

"You are extremely angry," he said, finally.

Jillian didn't answer him right away.

"I am," she said at last, "and I'm scared. I was fine being without him. It _hurt_, but if he was happy and he was having new and wonderful experiences then I could learn to be without him. But it sounds now as if he isn't even Daniel anymore, not the Daniel we knew."

She couldn't tell Teal'c about the vision Shifu had given Daniel, the one in which he had been given too much knowledge and descended into the darkest Abyss of his soul. That was up to Daniel to share. But what was he becoming _now_ if he had been given this much power?

The room suddenly felt ice cold and she shivered. Ice cold like Daniel's temper; and she was suddenly afraid of what a man with that kind of temper and that much power could be capable of doing. Teal'c sat up, heedless of monitors and cables. Jillian was pale and looked like she was going to be sick. He wrapped a hand around her arm as an anchor.

"Jillian, it is possible it was all just part of my hallucination."

"Why would you hallucinate about Daniel acting totally unlike himself?"

"Until you pointed it out just now, I had not really thought about it," he told her.

Misery clawed at her. Over the months that had followed Shifu's vision Daniel had gradually shared other parts of the horror he had experienced. She knew what he had done to Teal'c, the violent and aggressive actions in which hitting and almost raping her had been the least of his sins.

That wasn't a vision. This was real. If Daniel could stand quietly and watch Teal'c struggle to survive, what was next? Her emotions battered her like a storm at sea.

Jillian looked into Teal'c eyes and tried not to feel so empty and alone.

"It's bad enough we've lost him," she said, in a voice coated with icy midnight, "Teal'c what if he's losing himself?"

(0)


	38. Chapter 38

**This takes place during Full Circle, while the rest of SG1 is preparing to go to Abydos. **

The movement caught Jillian's eye, so she looked up just as the door of the office closed with a decisive click. By itself. She was staring at it curiously when the office was suddenly filled with a light that blinded her. A moment later, Daniel was standing on the other side of the table, wearing his robes from Abydos – which she knew was impossible really since she had used those robes on the table that served as his memorial at the house.

Without any kind of preamble Daniel launched into one of his rapid fire requests.

"I need you to go to Abydos with SG1. You're more fluent in Egyptian and in Abydionian than Jonas. You can read all my notes. They're going to need all the help they can get."

Jillian took a deep breath, hands braced on the table.

"No, Daniel," she whispered, "I'm not going to Abydos."

He looked shocked. Jillian had never denied him anything, from the smallest to the greatest thing he had ever asked. His eyes darted back and forth like a startled school of fish.

"What?"

"I'm not going to Abydos," she repeated. The shadows of night fell in her eyes

"Why?" He bit the word off sharply.

"Because you shouldn't need me to," she answered. Thunder rolled in her voice, no matter that she had tried hard to keep her tone neutral.

She looked up at him and he was scorched by the fire in her eyes.

_Damn_. He had wanted her passion. He had wanted her anger. He should have been more careful what he wished for.

"It's Abydos, Daniel! The Abydonians are _your_ people," she snarled – _snarled! – _at him. "They are _your_ family; not ours. If they are in so much danger then _you_ fix it!"

"I can't." He had the courage to sound impatient, as if she should understand by now.

"_Shiong mao niao_!" The fire in her eyes fueled the vehemence in the curse. "Of course you can; and you don't have the right to ask all of us to go risk our lives doing something you're too scared to do."

Daniel flinched.

"Jill, please, I'm not scared! You don't understand..."

"You're damn right I don't!" She stood up straight. She started speaking quietly but was shouting by the time she finished. "The man I loved was brave enough to risk his career to help the Tollan contact the Nox. The man I loved was brave enough to Gate to a Goa'uld mothership to stop an invasion and nearly got himself killed in the process. The man I loved shot his way through a plate glass window and risked an overdose of radiation to save a bunch of _strangers_ who tried to blame _him _for the accident. You used to be utterly heedless of your own safety, Daniel. I never knew you to put someone else in danger while you stood off on the sidelines. But now _Abydos_ is in danger and _you_ don't have the _balls_ to stand up to a bunch of glowing cuttlefish who seem to have all the moral standards of someone watching a kid hold a magnifying glass over an ant hill!"

She stopped finally, panting for breath and ignoring the tears that were stinging her eyes.

"Loved?" he said.

Jillian stared at him. "Is that the only word you heard me say?"

"It's a pretty important word," he said.

"I thought you felt that way, once- that love was important. I don't any more. I don't think you understand what it means for humans to love. You stood and _watched_ while Teal'c was _dying? _Gave him comfort and support? _Really? _ What happened to you, Daniel? _Jiànhuò_!" she demanded.

Daniel was staring at her, unmoving, stricken. The blend of fear and fury and frustration was powerful. It poured from her and it had teeth and claws. She was trembling with frayed nerves and shattered dreams.

"You were our moral center. You were the one pushing us out of the way of danger to risk it yourself. Is your status as one of the Ascended more important to you than our lives? When did that happen? What are you hoping for? You'll get us all killed and we can all ascend with you and live out the rest of eternity as a colony of sparkling jellyfish in the great beyond? Because you know what? From what I've seen I'd rather be dead - really dead - than live out my existence hamstrung from doing what I know is right the way you are now! _Nǐ bú shì rén_! _Nǐ shì shénme dōngxi_! "

A moment of brittle silence passed as she stopped again, rubbing her eyes with her fingertips. It didn't help. She was calmer when she finally looked at him and even the tears streaming down his face didn't seem to bother her. When she spoke again it was in a broken voice.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry but I can't. I forgave you for dying. It made sense to me. It was totally in keeping with who you were. But I don't recognize you now. You're dead, Daniel. You don't live here and if you aren't supposed to interfere with us _DON'T_. You can't have it both ways anymore. Decide where you belong and if being Ascended is so damned important to you then go; and leave us the hell alone!"

"_JILLIAN!" _His voice swirled up out of frost-bound caverns and filled the room. It came from everywhere at once. It came from somewhere inside her soul.

The room turned cold, so cold that ice formed on the glass surfaces. His eyes were glacier blue, filled with a kind of chilling blankness. The room throbbed with power, with an icy slash of temper too terrible to imagine. Cold lightning seemed to spark and sizzle in the air.

Jillian began trembling, violently. Tears spilled. Her throat ached.

_No, no, no, NO_! She was not going to let him make her cry again.

"You're afraid of me," Daniel murmured.

"Yes," she admitted, "and I'm afraid _for_ you."

For long moments neither of them spoke; neither of them moved and Jillian barely breathed.

The room gradually warmed.

He didn't meet her eyes.

"I have to go," he said, finally, "I'll be back."

"Not in this form, Daniel," Jillian said, lifting her chin defiantly. "Not again."

Light blinded her again and when she could finally open her eyes, he was gone. Saturated with emotion, Jillian sank into a chair, folded her arms on the table, dropped her head and burst into tears.

(0)

_At the risk of being kicked off FF I am declining to translate exactly what Jillian says to Daniel in Mandarin. ;-)_


	39. Chapter 39

**We've finally gotten to Fallen. This takes place just after Daniel wakes and remembers Sha're. The opening dialogue is not mine. It's from the script.**

**(0)**

"Tell me about this Anubis," Daniel urged. His expression had turned fierce. "Why did I break the rules to fight him?"

"Do you not believe it wise to remember on your own accord?" Teal'c asked in return.

"No. I need to know why this is happening to me," Daniel answered.

He looked hopefully at Teal'c. Part of him wondered why he so instinctively trusted a man who looked as if he could snap bone with his bare hands and melt concrete with a look. But there was something about his calm demeanor and rough kindness that made Daniel feel safe for the first time in a very long time.

Teal'c, however, was prevented from answering by a cursory knock on the door that preceded Jack opening it without any kind of acknowledgment.

"Come in," Teal'c rumbled. His looks of annoyance and tone of voice was like being pounced on by a tiger.

"SG8 is back," Jack said, either oblivious to Teal'c or too used to him for it matter, "Hammond excused her from the briefing. Sam and Jonas are with her in one of the interrogation rooms. They're waiting."

Teal'c stood and Daniel followed suit in confusion.

"We should take him to see her then," Teal'c said.

Daniel's eyes darted back and forth between them. He wasn't sure why he felt so reluctant to go see this unnamed person, except that something in their tone of voice implied that she was very, very important.

"To see who?" he asked with wariness heavy in his heart.

Jack and Teal'c looked at him and Daniel suspected that an attempted pissin' contest among them would be short and futile on his part.

"Your girlfriend," Jack answered.

(0)

Jillian listened very carefully as Sam told her what they had found on Vis Uban, barely breathing. When they finished, Jillian was simply staring at them.

"Sam," she managed to say after a long pause. There was so much in that one little syllable, mostly pleading for some assurance that she wasn't dreaming.

"We're serious, Jillian," Jonas said. "Daniel….. is alive."

"And he doesn't remember anything, at all, about any of us?" she demanded.

"No," Sam said, gently.

Jillian's emotions collided. The room seemed to start shrinking. The gray walls were fading to mist.

The conversation ended when the door clicked and Jillian twisted around in the shrinking room and suddenly found it impossible to breathe.

Jack led Daniel into the room.

"_Daniel,"_ she whispered.

She took a step forward and raised one slender, trembling hand. The room rushed in on her like a collapsing tunnel. She was vaguely aware of Sam shouting,

"Sir! Catch her!"

Someone reached for her. Just as her fingers closed around a hand that was warm, and familiar, a hand that was solid flesh and bone, the room disappeared.

(0)

Strength seemed to flow into her from the hand that was holding hers; thumbs entwined, fingers clutched around each other's wrists. Beneath her fingers tips, his pulse pounded urgently. There was a strong arm behind her neck and shoulders, supporting her head. She knew that feeling. Her body relaxed against it instinctively.

"Keep your eyes closed. Breathe." That was Jack, his command voice sharp and demanding, being typically unwarm and not fuzzy.

"I know her." _Daniel._

"Yeah, in the Biblical sense even." Jack.

"Sir!" Sam.

"Can you sit up?" _Daniel._

His voice washed over her. She knew it. She had heard it amused and filled with laughter. She had heard it full of ice and anger. She had heard it crying out in passion and ecstasy. She had heard it excited and filled with the joy of discovery. She had heard it in her dreams.

Jillian opened her eyes and looked straight into the beloved Caribbean blue eyes that had been gone for much too long.

Jillian nodded and then winced as her head swam again dizzily. She was assisted into a sitting position. Daniel hadn't let go. Jack was kneeling on the other side of her. She wrenched her gaze away from Daniel and looked at Jack. In the melted darkness of O'Neill's eyes she found the warmth and fuzziness that was lacking in his tone.

"Is this real?" she asked.

"You're holding his hand. You tell me," Jack answered.

Her fingers tightened convulsively on the hand wrapped around hers. But she kept staring at Jack a moment longer, trying to regain her balance before returning her attention to Daniel.

He tried to relax his hand, uncertainty and confusion in his expression. She gripped him tighter.

"Please don't let go yet," she begged.

"Why?"

"It's been too long since I felt your heart beating."

"Was that important to you?"

"For almost three years it was the rhythm of my life."

"Three _years?"_ He sounded strangled.

"Okay, come on," Jack said, "Stand up. Atta girl."

Somehow they got Jillian on her feet, though she wobbled and clung to Daniel's arm.

"You don't remember _anything?"_ She asked Daniel.

He shook his head and looked miserable. His eyes swept her.

"This Oma Desala must be pretty powerful if she could make me forget three years with someone like you," he murmured.

Daniel's temper might be ice, but Jillian's was fire; and it erupted now as if lightning had struck dry timber. She let go of him and began pacing like a tiger in too small a cage.

"_Oma!" _She snarled, "and the rest of the misbegotten bunch of arrogant snobs that consider themselves _Ascended_! What the hell did they do to you? _They're_ supposed to be enlightened, living on some higher plane of existence. Higher than _what, _a bunch of drunks at a bachelor party_?_ This is like the _worst _fraternity prank in the history of stupid pranks! Let's leave him in the middle of _nowhere_ with _nothing_ and no idea who he is, _lightyears from where he belongs_! They did everything but get you drunk first and take you to Mexico for a tattoo!"

Jack swiveled to regard Daniel.

"Do you have a new tattoo?" he asked, conversationally.

Daniel shrugged. "I didn't have any…. That I could see…." An alarmed expression crossed his face for a moment.

Teal'c moved with such silent grace no one in the room was sure they had actually seen it. One moment he was standing at the door and the next he had Jillian by the forearm and was propelling her towards a chair. Jonas grabbed the chair and turned it to face them.

Jillian wasn't sure exactly when the hand on her arm moved to her shoulder; nor did she remember wanting to sit but he must have guided her into the chair at the table at some point. He pushed her into the table and then that same hand was on the back of her neck.

"Put your head down and breathe," he said, firmly.

"Wow," Jonas said.

He was staring at Jillian as if he might run before her temper threatened to scorch them all again.

"She had been impatient with the Ascended for several weeks now," Teal'c remarked, almost casually.

With her head down on her folded arms Jillian growled,

"_Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo."_

"_Wu de tyen ah,"_ Daniel murmured, sounding shocked.

Jillian's head snapped up so sharply she hit Teal'c. Eyes narrowed she gave Daniel a look that pinned him like a butterfly to a board.

"_Nǐ tīngdǒng ma?" _she demanded.

"_Dang-ran," _he answered. His response was instantaneous but then he looked just as quickly confused. "But I don't know how."

"Wow," Jonas repeated.

Looking stunned, Jillian muttered, "_Wuh de ma_."

"This is almost as much fun as listening to the two of you speak archaeolo-geese," Jack commented.

At that moment, the door opened and the rest of SG8 poured into the tiny room. Rusty slammed into Scotty, who stopped dead in amazement. Then they both stared at Daniel, slack-jawed and silent. Mallory gave Daniel a cursory glance to confirm Hammond had been telling them the truth and turned his attention to Jillian like a laser.

"You all right?" The look on his face told Jillian he wouldn't stop until he had the truth – and she knew that was all over her face.

"No," she said. She responded to her Commanding Officer, but she was looking at Daniel as if some invisible line bound them.

"Do you think we're at maximum capacity for this room yet?" Jack asked, casually.

Daniel shook himself free of the spell he and Jillian seemed to be under.

"Okay, look. _I'm_ overwhelmed and I just had a hot shower, a meal and a nap," he said, "From what I understand she just got back from another planet. Can you all leave us alone for a little bit?"

Jack made quick eye contact with SG1 and jerked his head towards the door. They filed out without argument. Mallory continued watching Jillian uncertainly until she nodded and tried to smile.

"I'll be okay. I really would like to talk to him alone," she said.

Mallory grunted skeptically but turned to go. Rusty fell in beside him and then reached back to grab the addled Scotty by the arm and yank him out the door.

"It's really Dr. Jackson," Scotty gasped.

"Yeah, we got that," Rusty muttered as the door shut.

The silence was almost as over whelming as their presence had been.

"Who taught you to cuss like that in Mandarin?" Daniel asked.

"How did you know it was Mandarin?" she asked.

"Is it?"

"Yes."

"Then the only answer is that I don't know," he shrugged and tried a small smile. "I'm really sorry about all this. I can tell you're upset."

"Not as upset as I've been for the past year," she said, "though I'm angry about what they did to you."

She was trying to breathe slowly. Her shoulders rose and fell like waves going in and out against the shore.

"Yeah, I got that," he said, mildly. He studied her for a moment, "You have the most extraordinary eyes."

Startled, she blinked. "Thank you. You never told me that before."

"I didn't? Then I'm an idiot."

"Actually you're a genius," she corrected.

"Do you want to get out of this room?" He asked, sounding hopeful. "We can go back to …. Well, I guess it's my room."

Jillian stood, though she still wasn't sure her legs would hold her. She leaned on the table.

"It was our room," she answered in a shaky breath.

"It was?"

"Yes."

"Wow."

She smiled and he thought the morning light had just come to pierce his darkest hour. "You sound like Jonas."

"It explains a lot," he said.

"It does?"

"I kept having dreams, catching images, of a woman. But they were so different all the time. I couldn't sort it all out. Now I realize I was seeing two different women. One was Sha're. The other is you."

"You remembered Sha're?"

He nodded and then wondered if this woman who had been his girlfriend – his lover – would appreciate that he had remembered Sha're first.

"That's a great relief," she said.

"It is?"

"You remember how to speak Mandarin too. It means they didn't strip you of your memory. It's still there."

"That's what I said," he replied, eagerly.

"Daniel," she said, and then stopped because she couldn't believe she had just said that and he was in the room. She took a breath and let it out, "Daniel, I really would like to get cleaned up and change clothes. I need time to think. Will you wait for me in your….. room?"

"Yeah," he said, "I have a lot of questions."

Jillian reached into her back pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper.

"Take this with you," she said, holding it out.

"What is it?"

"It's the note you left me, in case something happened to you. No! Don't read it yet. Take it back to the room and see if it triggers anything. We can talk about it then."

He looked shocked. "You've been carrying this with you all this time? For a year?"

"Yes," she answered, "Well not into the shower, but everywhere else."

He held the wrinkled paper reverently.

"What is it you want me to remember?" he asked.

Jillian hesitated. She looked at her hands for a moment and then said in a shaking voice,

"I want you to remember the first time we kissed and where we went afterward. I want you to remember how we got back to the hotel from my father's retirement dinner. I want you to remember how and where and why I call you 'baby.' I want you to remember the first time we made love. Do you think you can do that?"

Daniel looked at the extraordinary green eyes, moist with unshed tears, and the extraordinary woman standing across the table from him. With all his soul he wanted to do as she asked.

"I don't know," he admitted honestly, "But I swear to you I'll try."

(0)


	40. Chapter 40

Jillian paused outside a door she had once walked through without hesitation. She decided to knock first and the door flew open instantly.

"I was hoping it was you," Daniel said.

Strong fingers wrapped around her wrist and dragged her into the room. He was thrumming with energy; elation, sadness, excitement. His eyes were so bright they were nearly sapphire but Jillian could tell he had been crying.

"Did you get a chance to eat?" he asked as he closed the door.

Jillian wrinkled her nose. "My team decided to come get me and dragged me to the cafeteria."

"Those three guys that came to check on you earlier?"

"Yes, that's SG8, the rest of my team. I saw Teal'c. He said he told you about Anubis."

"Yeah," he said, sounding grim and mystified, "I'm still not quite clear why I'd be prevented from stopping him."

He held up the paper she had given him.

"Thank you for this," he said, "I'm really sorry you ever had to see it. I hope it helped."

Jillian gave him a smile that said her heart was melting, indulgent, and wondering.

"You quoted Winnie the Pooh," she said.

He looked down at the floor sheepishly and grinned a little.

"You caught that," he said.

"Yeah I did." She made a gesture in the general direction of her forehead. "Photographic memory," she said, "You have one too."

"It's not doing me much good at the moment," he said, drily

"You remembered where you got the quote," she pointed out.

"Yes; and something else."

Jillian looked at him.

"Something that made you cry," she guessed.

Daniel nodded and went to sit on the bed. Jillian waited. This was too much typically Daniel – the hesitation, the reluctance to speak of anything that affected him too deeply.

"My parents actually."

Jillian's heart lurched. Not knowing what else to do she went to sit gingerly on the bed beside him.

"Are you all right?"

"The quote I left you, from Winnie the Pooh…. My mother used to tuck me in at night and that was the last thing she would say to me; or if they had to go somewhere and I couldn't go with them, I would find it on a note on my pillow, or in my lunch box."

"You remember having lunch boxes?" She asked, attempting to distract him with a happier memory.

"I remember one. It was metal and had a space ship on it."

"The Enterprise? Star Trek?"

His eyes darted like a startled school of fish as he sought the memory.

"Yeah," he exhaled, "I think so. I remember I would find these notes wrapped around the thermos with a rubber band." He paused and drew a long shaky breath. "Remembering my mom telling me that at bedtime and keeping one of those notes under my pillow got me through a lot of long dark nights after they died. I guess maybe I wanted to leave you with the same kind of comfort."

"There were nights it did make me smile a little," she told him; and nights it made her cry as if she would never stop.

"Was I really yours, the way it says?" he asked.

"I thought of you that way," she said.

She saw the look in his eyes change – empty and lost, still rimmed in red and filling with tears again.

Jillian wasn't sure how long her sanity would hold out if she continued to be this close to him and still couldn't touch him. She hesitated a moment and then slid closer to him and opened her arms.

"Daniel," she whispered, "Come here. Let me hold you for a moment."

Daniel took his glasses off and leaned forward to rest his head on her shoulder. Jillian pressed one palm against the side of his face and stroked his hair with the other.

"Tell me this is real," she whispered.

"I really hope so," he answered, voice muffled.

Oh, _god,_ how she wanted to kiss him, caress him, explore every inch of him to make sure he was well and whole. He still needed glasses and his front tooth was still chipped. She wondered if he still had all his scars and if they would trigger more memories for him.

But she was too afraid he would pull away, so she kept her hands where they were – one cradling the exquisite bone structure of his cheek and jaw, so beloved, so familiar; and the other brushing through the tousled silkiness of his hair.

Tears stung her eyes. She could have stayed there the rest of the afternoon, just feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing. Cautiously, he slipped his arms around her waist and sighed.

_Oh, Daniel…._

"I suppose it's silly to mourn them all over again," he said.

He sat up but didn't let go of her. She let her hand fall onto his shoulders.

"We never get over grieving our parents, Daniel," she answered, with enough conviction in her voice that he knew she shared the same pain.

He didn't ask. He didn't want to pull her into the same place of remembered loss he was currently occupying.

"You still don't remember anything about you and me?" she asked.

"I tried concentrating on this room and thinking of you," he said, "There's still just flashes, quick images, sometimes voices….. It's like reaching into a whirlpool and trying to grasp a handful of eels."

Daniel sounded so wistful and miserable. Jillian reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly.

"You're not mad I can't remember?" he asked.

"No, and I wasn't mad at you." Her expression softened and she touched his cheek with her fingertips again. "I spent too much time wishing I could have you back to waste time being mad at you now."

"That's good because you're kind of scary when you're mad."

"I just don't have a lot of patience with foolishness; and neither do you."

"Which would explain why I decided to try to stop Anubis."

"Anubis isn't exactly 'foolish'," Jillian said. "Terrifying is more like it."

Daniel considered asking the rhetorical question of why he had been prevented from destroying this evil being; but he suspected that for one thing Jillian wouldn't know and for another it might set her off. As exciting as it was to understand her rather explosive lapses into Mandarin, he preferred her calm, sympathetic and English-speaking.

He put his glasses back on and looked at his watch.

"There's a briefing I'm supposed to go to. At least I think I am, about the tablet and the lost city."

"You remember how to tell time," she said.

He looked surprised and then pleased.

"Yeah, I guess so. It was kind of automatic." He gestured around the room, "Do you want to stay here? Maybe you remember where some of this stuff used to be when it was ours?"

A shadow drifted across her face and he realized too late that he had implied it wasn't still theirs. The sadness in that expression made him feel like he was bleeding.

"It's not that I don't want it to still be ours," he said, gently.

"I know," she said, quickly, "We just have to take this slowly."

"Right," he agreed, "The first time we kissed – I'm working on that one. You, umm, you don't want to give me a hint do you?"

Jillian stood, leaned up on tiptoe and whispered in his ear,

"Think about strawberries."

His eyebrows went up in question and hope.

"I want to remember," he assured her, needing her to believe him.

"_Rivers know this_," Jillian quoted, "_There is no hurry. We'll get there someday_."

Daniel continued to gaze at her, fighting for the memory. Her eyes held his, drawing it out.

Then he laughed a little.

"Winnie the Pooh,' he said.

He reached out slowly and hooked a long piece of her hair behind her ear.

"I think I remember another one," he said.

"You do?"

"Yes," his voice was very low, "_I was walking along looking for somebody, and then suddenly I wasn't anymore_."

Jillian put her hand around his wrist and held his hand against her face. The smile she gave him was radiant.

(0)


	41. Chapter 41

**This happens towards the end of Homecoming, after the defeat of Anubis but before they all say goodbye to Jonas. It's been a long wait. ;-)**

**(0)**

Hammond wondered if the announcement of an unscheduled activation would ever fill him with just one emotion. It always seemed to be equal parts trepidation and anticipation. With so much at stake right now, he could only hope this activation signaled the successful return of SG1 – ALL of SG1.

"It's SG1, sir. Transmission coming through," Harriman told him.

"Colonel O'Neill?" Hammond demanded. 

"Yeah, General, we have the situation under control," Jack drawled, "Carter's coming through with Jonas. He'll need a med team."

As if conjured by O'Neill's magic words, Sam and Jonas walked through the event horizon. Jonas had his arm around her shoulders and walking bent over. He surrendered pretty willingly to the medics, but Hammond's battle trained sixth sense told him the wound wasn't life threatening. Jonas looked more annoyed than anything else.

"Daniel and Teal'c are gonna stay here with me to deal with some stuff," O'Neill's voice faded for a moment as he seemed to direct it over his shoulder, "O-_kay_, Daniel, _geez!_ Look, sir, could you find Jillian? Daniel wants to tell her something and if he doesn't get to do it soon, he's gonna pee all over the carpet."

Muffled in the background, Hammond heard Daniel snap, "Jack!"

"She probably heard the activation klaxon and is on her way, Colonel but I'll send someone for her." Hammond cast a quick glance at the Airman standing by the stairwell, who nodded smartly and turned to jog down the stairs. "Has more of Dr. Jackson's memory returned?"

"He says so," Jack answered, "But it's still like a block of swiss cheese in my opinion. _OW_! Daniel!"

"Let's have your report, Colonel."

Jack heard the change in tone. His CO was done with all the touchy-feely stuff.

"Anubis' mother ship has been destroyed, sir," Jack said. "Yu's troops are dealing with the Jaffa on the ground. Teal'c and Yu's First Prime…."

"Oshu," Daniel's voice, still muffled in the background.

"Yeah, him," Jack said, impatiently, "He and Teal'c are reporting minimum resistance and Baal has already left orbit in pursuit of Anubis' fleet."

"Any chance Baal will return to Kelowna?" Hammond asked.

"Don't ask me, sir. You know how I feel about the slimy, back stabbing bastards."

"All right, Colonel, take all the time you need to mop this up."

Hammond was interrupted by the sound of footsteps on the metal stairs. Jillian appeared, looking pale and anxious, as if she could see a ghost dancing on a grave.

"Sir?" she asked as a stab of fear froze her heart.

"Dr. Jackson would like to talk to you," he said, stepping out of the way of the console.

Jillian almost lost her balance with relief. They had found him, gotten him back and Jonas too, considering she had just passed Jonas and Sam in the hallway. Jonas was injured but he was back and Janet would fix him. She swallowed and moved up to the window.

"Daniel?"

"Jill?"

"Yes."

"I remember," Daniel's voice over the radio stated it bluntly and then launched into the kind of rapid, breathless, run on paragraph only he could accomplish, "I remember the first time we kissed you had been eating strawberries and whipped cream and I can't eat strawberries now without thinking of you and afterwards we went to Mama Chui's for lunch and she scared the hell out of me and…and then we walked in the park across the street and I kissed you again. We took a carriage ride around the Mall after your father's retirement dinner because I thought you might like it better than the limo. I remember how and when and _why_ you call me baby and I remember really _really_ wishing we were somewhere more romantic the first time we…."

"_Daniel! _I'm not exactly alone here,_"_ She cut him off and cast a horrified look at Hammond, who was poker faced even if his eyes were twinkling. Walter had his eyes firmly on the console in front of him. She could feel the heat rising in her face.

"Oh, yeah," Daniel said, catching himself, "Jill, there's so much more. Will you wait in the Gate Room for me? I'm not sure how long this is going to take. Jack won't let me leave yet." The edge in his voice said he wanted to strangle O'Neill but would behave. "But, I just… I really need you to be there when I come back?"

"I'll be here," she promised.

"I'm coming home, _bǎobèi_," he swore, "Just give me a little longer."

The transmission stopped. The Gate sang and swirled a moment more and then the air snapped as it shut down.

Her heart soaring, Jillian stood looking down into the Gate Room and wondered exactly how she was going to continue to wait for him without going completely mad.

(0)

No one had ever seen Daniel actually run down the ramp from the Gate. It might not even have been running really – just stampeding down it with all the ground-eating ability of his long stride. He seemed heedless of it really, as if he couldn't get to the woman coming through the main door fast enough.

He skidded to a halt in front of her, nearly colliding. Considering that he looked as if he was charging into battle – chest rising and falling as he gasped for breath, skin flushed, eyes wild – he managed to get himself in check long enough to thread both hands into Jillian's hair and cradle her face between his hands.

"I remember," he exhaled, "_Everything_ …. And …. _I love you_."

Jillian inhaled sharply. Her hands came to rest on his waist, seeking support.

"I love you too," she murmured. "Oh, _god, _Daniel, you and _only you. _Absolutely and forever."

His eyes were searching her face, seeking the truth.

"How the hell did we go three _years_ without saying that?" he sounded mystified.

"I don't…."

She never got to finish the sentence. The next thing she knew she was bent helplessly in his arms, clinging to his strength to keep from tumbling backwards. Her mouth opened, willingly and surrendered to his. They kissed with blazing fervor. The emotion chained for so long to three unspoken words exploded outward. They kissed with a desperate passion to express everything, all at once in this one wild moment.

She wasn't aware of the whistles and cheers and applause from the Gate crew, or of Jack yelling at the crew to stand down with the command in his voice tempered by no small amount of tolerance and amusement. She wasn't aware of anything but Daniel. His pulse was thunder; all his muscles taut and trembling. Cheyenne Mountain could fall down around them and she wouldn't notice.

He broke the kiss and they stared at each other in wonder for a moment. Neither wanted words. All the important ones had been said. Jillian reached up to take his face between her hands and pulled his lips back against hers. Daniel groaned as if wounded but his mouth closed over hers again, hot and searching. _Nothing_ mattered but the two of them. Daniel pulled her closer. His hands followed the curve of her waist and back. Her heart knew deep, lovely tremors as her body remembered his. Still kissing, she folded over, pliant and possessed and surrendered to him as if something may yet intervene and he might be taken away from her forever after all.

A firm hand on his shoulder jerked Daniel back into reality.

"Okay, you two," Jack said, dragging Daniel back a step, "Get a room. You actually have one of those here, so it shouldn't be difficult."

Daniel was still staring at Jillian as if she was the key to existence. He straightened his glasses and managed to look at Jack from the corner of one eye and gasped out,

"The debrief…." There was enough of the responsible part of his brain working to remember SGC protocol. Jack was slightly pleased.

"Won't happen until we get Teal'c back and Janet gets Jonas on his feet. Go."

Daniel's entire focus settled on Jillian again. His hands on her hips, his forehead against hers, he closed his eyes in bliss.

"There's still so much I have to tell you," he said.

"Is there?" She sounded like she didn't believe him for a moment. "We just said a great deal."

"Everything and not nearly enough," Daniel said, cryptically.

Jillian looked away from the intensity of his blue eyes and suddenly became aware of just how many people were actually _in_ the room with them. Heat rose in her face again and she saw Daniel's expression dance with amusement.

His hand traced down her arm and slipped around her hand. Jillian followed him from the room, radiant with love; her heart filled with brilliance.

(0)


	42. Chapter 42

**In the Last Chapter, Jack suggests that Daniel and Jillian 'get a room'. So they do. This is immediately following chapter 41.**

**(0)**

Uncertain that her legs were going to hold her up for much longer, Jillian went straight to the bed, crawled into the middle of it and sat down. Folding her legs under her, she curled up and covered her head with her hands. She could hear him moving around the room – his dusty tac vest hit the floor with a thud, the sound of his watch being put on the dresser and being joined quickly by the faint snap of his glasses closing, the jangle of his dog tags being pulled over his head and put in the drawer. There was something else that sounded suspiciously like his shirt being pulled off and discarded on the floor.

She felt the mattress give as Daniel joined her. He sat down tenderly in front of her and very cautiously stroked the back of her head.

"Jill?"

"I'm still dreaming, aren't I?" she murmured, "None of this is happening."

"No, it's very real," Daniel said, "Come on, look at me."

He tipped her chin up so that he was staring into those extraordinary green eyes. He felt his breath catch slightly.

"I should have told you sooner how I felt, Jill. Can you forgive me for being an idiot?"

She sat up and her hands fell onto his knees, gripping hard. He had stripped from the waist up and was clad only in black pants and socks now.

"You're alive," she said, fiercely. Her fingers dug in. "I can pretty much forgive you for anything."

Daniel threaded his fingers through the hair that had fallen onto her temple and brushed it back.

"I wanted it to be perfect," he said, almost absently, watching the light catch in the crimson and chestnut strands of her hair as it slid through his fingers, "I wanted this grand romantic moment to tell you I loved you; and nothing ever seemed right."

"This was," she assured him.

He tilted his head as if he was looking at her over the top of his glasses.

"I'm not so sure about that," he said, drily, "But I couldn't wait another minute, another second."

"I never said anything either," she reminded him. His eyebrows lifted when she paused. She went on, though hesitantly, "I always thought…maybe you didn't feel the same way…..or maybe you couldn't imagine saying that to anyone but…. To anyone but Sha're and I…."

"Oh _god_, Jill." He cut her off, sounding as if she had knifed him, "No. It's not that at all." He wrapped his hand around one of hers. "No. I never thought I'd fall in love again. I was resigned to being lonely the rest of my life; but this is so different. It's not that one period of my life is better than the other. They're just different, each incredible in its way. Jillian…"

He cradled her face between his palms again, his lips gentle against her forehead and she was breathing with him and lost in him for long suspended moments in which neither of them spoke.

Then he was looking in her eyes, so close she was drowning in tropical blue.

"I can't make you my first love," he said, softly, "But I swear, Jillian, you're my last."

Tears, sacred and eloquent, rose in her eyes and spilled unchecked past her lashes. Daniel gathered her into his arms and held against his aching heart.

"B_ǎobèi_, please don't cry. I can't remember anything from when I was Ascended but I think I probably made you cry enough."

Jillian rested her head in the hollow of his shoulder and sighed.

"Laughter, anger, tears, anxiety, terror, passion," she murmured, "I've found someone who is worth all of that and that's how I know I love him."

His arms tightened and he found that he was fighting his own tears.

"Who said that?" he asked, sounding puzzled.

She tilted her face to look at him, knowing that the part of her that had died with him was now reborn.

"I did," she said.

He kissed her then. It tasted of their mingled tears and was, perhaps, the sweetest kiss they had ever shared.

Reluctant to stop, even when his lips left hers, Daniel rained kisses on her face until they were both overwhelmed. They sat in the middle of the bed, clinging to each other like refugees in a life raft.

"You're not mad I remembered Sha're first?" he asked, shy and uncertain suddenly.

"No," she answered quickly, "You saw her first; then you fell asleep and your unconscious memory got a chance to work. It's like…it's like all the memories that caused you pain, the ones you had buried the deepest, all came back first."

He seemed to consider that, staring off into the space just past her shoulder.

"Yeah," he acknowledged softly, "It is like that."

"You don't remember being Ascended?" she asked, quietly, resting her head on his chest.

"Nothing," he answered, "Not consciously. I knew how to read that tablet, and have no idea why. It's like understanding when you spoke Mandarin. It's just obvious to me, like it always has been. But I know I didn't learn the language on that tablet before ….. Ascending."

"No. We found the tablet on Abydos, after…after the accident," Jillian paused, wondering in her heart how long they could dance around the word 'died.' She changed the subject quickly, "What other languages do you remember?"

"Well I'm not sure. I guess I'd have to hear them."

"Vy govorite po-russki?" Jillian asked.

"Da," Daniel answered,instantly.

"Vous parlez français?"

He smiled. "Oui, très bien."

"Habla español?"

"De niñez," he answered.

"Really?" she seemed surprised.

"On a dig in Spain," he shrugged, "I picked it up from the workers. That's when my parents first guessed I had a gift for languages. I was five."

"I'm glad you remember," she said.

Jillian shifted in his arms. Her hand was resting on top of his. Her thumb brushed absently against the fine bronze hair that edged the strong bones of his wrist.

"Ik hou van je," she said, tilting her head to watch his reaction. Another smiled pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"Ik houd ook van u," he answered, just before kissing her again very, very lightly.

"We could keep this up all day, you know," she said, when the kiss ended on a soft sigh, "We have about twenty seven more languages to go, though we only have about fifteen in common."

"Is that all?" he asked. "I love you even in thirty languages doesn't seem like enough to make up for three years of silence. That's only ten times a year. I feel like it should be ten times an hour."

"There's nothing to make up for, Daniel," she said, touching his jaw with her fingertips.

"Ti amo, adore voi, lo voglio, " he answered in a seductive purr that made her shiver a little, "You like Italian. That I remember."

"You would." Her tone was a bit tart but there was a smile in it too.

He nuzzled his face into her hair.

"Ja teb'a l'ubl'u," he whispered.

"We did Russian," she pointed out.

"Not to say I love you," he corrected, "We have to start over."

Jillian shifted, ran her hand up his arm to his shoulder and urged him forward again. She touched his face, a small fleeting touch of her fingertips over his cheekbone. Her palm briefly cupped the slight roughness of his jaw and then down the muscled line of his neck.

"We can," she said, "If you really want to spend the next hour or so just talking."

"Did you have something else in mind?"

"It's been so long, Daniel."

A puzzled shadow crossed his face and then a realization dawned.

"You remember," he breathed, "All the time we were apart, _you_ remember it."

"You don't?"

He shook his head. Then, he uncurled the length of his body and stretched out on his side next to her.

"I remember being on Kelowna, with Jonas and walking down a hall. We were talking… about how insignificant planetary issues can seem once you know what's 'out there'. Then I woke up on Vis Uban, and I remember all the weeks spent there, but I couldn't remember you – which I still find unbelievable. But the whole year…"

"Fifteen months," she corrected.

Daniel looked horrified. "_Gāisǐ_, Jill," he muttered.

"It should have been forever, Daniel." She stretched out next to him and moved into his arms, seeking comfort, "Please let's not think about that now. Please."

Still shaken by the length of time she had endured without him, and the ice cold chill in her voice as she begged him not to think about it, Daniel reached for the pillows to give himself some time to adjust. He settled a pillow under his head and gathered Jillian so that she was resting in his arms.

He decided not to tell her how many times in the last few hours his life had been endangered again; or that Jonas had taken a staff blast from a weapon that had been pointed at _him._

"I love you," he murmured.

"No doubts?"

"None."

"I love you, too."

Jillian snuggled closer to him. She trailed her fingers over his chest and then traced over his upper arm. He was smooth and hard as polished wood, vibrant, warm with life. If she looked closely she could still see traces of the scar left by the staff burn from his trip through the quantum mirror.

_Daniel…_

He reached for her hand and kissed the center of her palm. The touch of his mouth seemed to burn; soft moist lips and the slight flick of his tongue. It was an erotic charge that made her quiver. It was an intimate caress that promised exquisite pleasure. Jillian _felt _more than saw the change in his intent. He touched one thumb delicately to the corner of her sensuous mouth. His fingertips brushed her jaw and neck as he lowered his head to hers. In spite of the sudden surge in her blood, she answered him with delicacy.

It had been a very, _very_ long time but Jillian wanted it to last. Her lips met his with a soft sigh. He pressed for more with the soft tip of his tongue. He slipped one hand behind her head to hold her close while he ravished her willing mouth with his own.

He broke the kiss with small nips and caresses to her cheek and jaw and neck, teasing just below her earlobe.

_I love you_, Jillian thought as he explored all the intimate places of her body that had been hidden and ignored for over a year. _I love everything you are, every part of you, all the whole of you. I want all the seasons of you. I want you in a hundred different ways all at once. You're the answer to every question my soul ever asked._

She surrendered not just to Daniel but to her own overwhelming feelings for him. She would let him take her, all of her, and he would heal all the little pieces of her heart; and she hoped his own in the process.

Her hand stroked his hair, longer, fluffier than she remembered and then slid down over the muscled column of his neck to the sweet place where it flowed into his broad shoulders. Solid, unshakable. Jillian whimpered, leaned forward and let him pull her shirt over her head.

Daniel leaned back and studied the red wine-colored lingerie she was wearing under the drab military garb.

"That's new," he said, with more than a little appreciation in his voice.

She blushed. "I just treated myself to a shopping trip through the Victoria's Secret catalogue." She shrugged, "I lost some weight, so I had to."

Daniel's eyes roamed over her curves. "You didn't lose it in any of the right places," he murmured and she felt her skin grow even warmer.

Jillian's breathing was starting to come faster. Her dog tags rose and fell over the enchanting swell of her breasts, riveting his gaze. It took him a moment to realize that she was wearing three tags. He was pretty sure he remembered only having to wear two. He gently put one finger under the chain where it rested on her collar bone and followed it to the tags, lifting them so he could read them.

Two of them were hers – one on the chain and one linked to it. The other was his.

Pain flooded his chest. A whole new reserve of love erupted from some deeply hidden reserve in his heart.

"_Jillian_," he whispered.

Uncertain what else he should do, Daniel enfolded her in his arms and held her. He was silent, but his embrace spoke to her of his strong presence and deep regret for the pain he had caused her. The kisses he feathered over her hair and shoulders spoke of tenderness and longing and begged for her foregiveness. When he finally tipped her head back to look into her eyes she was smiling at him a little.

"It's all right," she said. "I found it very comforting."

She stopped him from saying anything else by bringing her mouth lightly against his. Immediately his lips parted, as if love had robbed him of any ability to resist her. Her tongue touched his with fleeting little touches. He kissed her back while desire started to flow like warm honey in his veins and his body stirred in response.

She stopped and ran her palms over his, shoulders, down his chest and made tantalizing little circles on his abs. Daniel's pulse hammered.

"They seem to have given you back to me with everything in the right place."

He grinned a little, though desire made his voice husky.

"You haven't looked everywhere," he observed.

"Do you still have your surgery scar?"

"Surger…. Oh, the appendix. Shall we find out?"

He let her deal with his belt and zipper and her hands were just as agile and adept as he remembered. His shoulders rose and fell as his breathing became long and slow. There were only three insignificant pieces of clothing between a careful inspection of his body and her heated gaze. She made extremely short work of removing them.

Her fingers teased, kitten-soft, across the fine scar beside his hip. She stopped centimeters from his obvious arousal. His breathing hitched in his chest. Heat emanated from his skin like a fine vibration.

"Janet did a good job," she observed, "It's hardly visible."

"Jill, have mercy," he begged.

She sat up to unlace her boots and toss them over the side of the bed. She didn't make eye contact with him at all as she shed the rest of her clothes. When she was down to nothing but red bra and panties, she turned so that she was kneeling in front of him and just waited. Daniel's eyes roamed over her like flame. Jillian fully clothed was a feast for the eyes. Almost naked, wearing only the warm colors of the mountains in autumn, she was a banquet. He wanted to make love to her with care and joy, slowly and deliberately and without reservation.

He knelt up, facing her. He touched her with one hand, drawing a line from her forehead to her cheek and across her jaw until he brushed his thumb against her mouth. Jillian pressed her lips along the side of one callused finger, watching his face, and then rolled her tongue over it. A muscle twitched in his cheek and his eyes hooded with desire. Jillian stopped, grinning a bit wickedly. Daniel inhaled slowly, a deep breath that he held for a moment and then exhaled just as slowly.

Jillian gasped as he leaned in and kissed her, more aggressively, with hunger in it. His hands were moving in almost lazy patterns over her upper body, down her arms, drawing straps with them and then trailing his fingers up her spine to pause and free her from her bra. He lingered over her breasts, making small whirling motions over the tips, running his palms flat over her ribs and down. He spanned her waist, thumbs touching in the front, spread fingers against her spine. All the while he kissed her until she was shivering.

Flesh on flesh. His mounting desire sought its twin in her. Jillian's hands began to mirror his, feeling her way along his body as if to memorize him. She mapped the changing contours from his broad shoulders to his deeply sculpted arms and chest. The muscles in his arms were tense and straining even though he seemed to only be holding her loosely and she knew he wanted to pull her closer. Bare inches separated them but it felt like more. Jillian moved back to his chest and ran her thumbs over the feathery pattern of fine scars that she remembered, that she could feel even if they weren't really visible. Her fingers moved down again over his abs until she found the line of downy bronze hair that began below his navel. She followed that new trail as it enticed her lower.

At the last second her hands split apart and glided over his narrow hips and rubbed against his thighs, deftly teasing and avoiding what he wanted her to touch. Daniel broke the kiss, gasping and muffling a low groan against her hair. He stroked her body again but now his touch was firmer, all laziness gone. His hands came up to her ribs again, fingers against her shoulder blades, as he pulled her forward until her soft, pliant breasts met the taut muscles of his chest. He slipped one hand between them to knead and worship her tender flesh. They were kissing again as Jillian stoked her hands, one after the other, down his spine.

Daniel shivered at the sensation trailing down his spine, the long column of nerves and bone delivering messages of pleasure to his brain. A rush of energy descended, arrowing straight to his groin, making him pulse with anticipation.

At some point they collapsed sideways, arms and legs entwined. Jillian was breathing in short gasps as Daniel leaned forward, placed a kiss against her pounding heart and then kissed his way to her breast. He stripped her of the single remaining scrap of satin that covered her.

Jillian moaned and slid her fingers into his hair. His warm, wet mouth sucked gently, drawing blood and desire to the surface. His white hot tongue licked flames over the tips. His silk-soft hair tickled her skin like feathers. Jillian was melting at the core into liquid heat.

His fingers found her other breast, swirling in deliberate patterns, calluses rubbing like fine sand paper until she was breathless.

"_Daniel…."_ She gasped.

When he looked at her, love set on fire snapped and crackled between them.

Jillian leaned forward to kiss the pulse beating at the base of his throat. Lightly she traced a line down the outside of his arm to his wrist and then back up the inside, tickling the sensitive skin of his bicep muscle. She repeated the gesture a few times, eventually making the hair on his arm stand up. Then she drifted across his shoulders, along the hard line of his collarbone and down the center line of his chest and abs. Back and forth, over and over. This pattern continued until he took a long shuddering breath and she could feel his throbbing arousal brushing against her leg. She was hot and fluid in response.

The most accessible places on his body became sensitive and forbidden and erotic – the soft skin behind his ear, the juncture of his neck and shoulder, the tight skin of his pectoral muscles. She touched him and kissed and licked until he was aching and trying not to writhe. His hands were everywhere as well, long strokes over the lines and curves of her, lingering in favorite places.

The energy between them now had a life of its own. Daniel didn't know where he stopped and she began. In the midst of the aching desire, even with fire roaring through them both, there was a calm serenity, a certainty as she rolled over and surrendered to him.

Daniel settled above her for a moment and held her eyes with his own. He kissed away the tears that were already clinging to her lashes and then he brought them to together to create a bridge of flesh and love and spirit. Their joined bodies formed a center of heat and light and beauty in the Universe. They moved in perfect sync, seeking each other's pleasure as the ocean seeks the shore.

Jillian arched under him and he moved with short, slow, deliberate thrusts until she was whimpering and crying out. He broke the rhythm, driving into her and then waiting, holding them both in a suspension of time and movement.

"Oh, god, Daniel," she whispered. "Oh, _god, _I love you. _Please_…"

He nodded, unable to speak. Capturing her mouth with his own he began moving again, rebuilding the urgency. She caught the rhythm instantly, stroking against him until it felt like they were both suspended from a great height. The kiss broke as they began to fall. Jillian felt her climax beginning to rise up along her thighs and descend from her breasts and felt Daniel's rising in unison. She arched up again, hands clenched on his forearms, head thrown back as her body clenched in completion. Daniel was lost in the feeling of her body's pleasure, her fulfillment a necessary and vital part of his own. Gasping, he buried his face against her neck, shuddering violently as he climaxed.

It seemed endless. They rocked and shook and clung together, quaking from the power of it, overcome by the emotion. Lights and stars seemed to explode around them. Jillian briefly blacked out and Daniel nearly so.

When Jillian struggled back to consciousness, they were lying side by side, though neither had any memory of how they got there. His arms were tight around her, his leg slung over hers, holding her captive against him. She moved even closer, nestled her head in the hollow of his shoulder. She felt his chest rise and fall with a deep sigh and her name was whispered as he exhaled.

"_Jillian…"_

She drew on her disappearing strength as blissful exhaustion tried to claim her again. She breathed his name just before sleep overtook her.

"_Daniel….."_

(0)


	43. Chapter 43

**This continues to fill in moments before the team says farewell to Jonas at the end of Homecoming. I thought the storyline needed a wrap up with Jonas before diving into the events of season 7.**

**(0)**

When Daniel answered the knock on the door he found Jonas waiting on the other side.

"Come on in," Daniel said. He had clearly just come from the shower. His hair was wet and spikey and, while he was wearing shirt, pants and socks, he was still lacking a belt, watch and shoes. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm supposed to tell you the debriefing is in a half an hour and I was hoping to talk to you," Jonas explained.

"Sure," Daniel said, "Just a sec."

Jonas watched as Daniel cracked the door to their private bathroom open a little bit. Wisps of steam curled out the opening. Jonas could hear the water running in the shower and a fan humming as well.

"Jill?"

"Yeah?"

"Jonas is here."

"Is he all right?"

"Yeah, he says he just wants to talk," Daniel answered.

"Okay. I'll be a little while."

Daniel shut the door again and offered Jonas a smile.

"She takes forever," he shrugged and the casual intimacy of the statement struck Jonas. There was a sense of domestic familiarity about the entire thing.

"You remember that?" Jonas asked.

Daniel paused to consider and then said, "Yes, I guess I do." He sounded a little awed. "Some things seem to be automatic, like I never forgot them. It's weird. We can go get something to eat if you want to wait for her."

"It's okay," Jonas said, "It was you I wanted to talk to."

"About?" Daniel asked. He picked up his boots and walked over towards the bed, clearly intending to sit.

"Jillian," Jonas answered.

Daniel paused in the act of sitting, cocked a glance at Jonas.

"Oh, now I said you could have the office…" he began.

Jonas gave a short laugh.

"No," he said, "Even if you could, or would, give her away, she's out of my league."

Daniel got a faraway bemused look on his face and then said, "Mine too."

"So what did you want to tell me about her?"

"Not about her so much as what you might hear about us," Jonas paused startled by the way Daniel suddenly froze and narrowed his eyes. "Whoa, not what you're thinking. Like I said out of my league, there wasn't ever really an 'us' in that sense of the word, 'cause you look like you're gonna hit me."

Daniel relaxed a little. "Your life was hanging by a thread," he said, mildly.

Jonas managed to grin a little, sure that Daniel was joking. Pretty sure at least….Seventy-five percent anyway…..

"Well we did spend a lot of time together," Jonas admitted, "We were both trying to continue your work, after she got back from the Caribbean that is."

Daniel's brow furrowed in concentration.

"The Caribbean….."

Jonas stayed quiet. He had a feeling Daniel wasn't asking him anything, he was trying to remember something.

"The beach house," Daniel finally murmured, "She ran to the ocean…." He shook off the slide into the part of his memory that was still hazy and gave Jonas his attention again. "Jillian spends a lot of time in the company of the three men who make up the rest of her team. It's not a big deal to me."

"That's good, but I know how the rumor mill around here works and I didn't want you to hear anything that made you wonder," Jonas paused for a moment, "I just wanted you to know there wasn't anything between Jillian and me."

Daniel studied him carefully for a moment.

"You wanted there to be, though," he said, quietly.

Jonas stared back at him and decided it was useless to argue with that.

"You've _seen_ Jillian, right?" He asked, rhetorically.

Daniel was forced to smile a little.

"Nations used to go to war over women like Jillian," Daniel observed.

"Men get up out of comas for women like Jillian," Jonas said and then added, "You came back from the _dead_ for her."

Daniel tilted his head. "I'm still not sure why I'm back, or even how it happened," he said, in that absent way that meant he was talking but his mind was working on the problem at the same time. "But, yeah, Jillian all by herself would have been a good enough reason."

"I worked with her pretty closely, Daniel," Jonas said, "For almost a year and I never saw her smile, not really, not in a way that ever reached her eyes. Not once. I never saw her, at all, the way she is now, just in the last few days."

He wasn't sure how to explain it to Daniel. The few times he had seen them together it seemed that the conversation had been nothing but the most hardline of facts, planning for the last mission, concentrating on its success. Yet, Jillian had glowed with a kind of sensuality he had never seen in her before – and the only difference was Daniel's presence. She had seemed lit from a fire deep in her heart that had once been banked. Jonas had recognized a relationship that was unique and fragile and sacred in some way; and in recognizing it, he had felt an intense need to protect it.

He'd been the victim of good-natured locker room ribbing about 'being alone with Jillian' enough times to suddenly be worried about what Daniel might hear.

"It didn't matter what I wanted, Daniel. She never wanted anything from me but friendship," Jonas assured him. "She kind of treated me like a little brother she had become fond of."

Daniel studied the young man standing so earnestly a few feet away from him, hovering on the edge of coming further into the room and backing out the door behind him. Jonas shifted a little and adjusted the sling around his arm. Whatever Dr. Fraiser had given him for the pain, it seemed to be wearing off.

"Well, I appreciate you telling me," Daniel said, then he shrugged, "I trust Jill. In this case, I wasn't even here anymore. If she had moved on there wouldn't have been a whole lot I could do about it."

"But you're glad she didn't," Jonas guessed.

Daniel gave him a wry smile. "Yeah."

Sensing there wasn't much else he could offer Daniel on that subject he said,

"I was also hoping we could talk about SG1. You said we could when we got off the ship."

"I think it's too soon to make any firm decisions," Daniel said, "Look, Jonas, as I've gotten my memories back I realize that I've put Jillian through hell the last few years. This isn't even the first time I've been dead, just the longest. I'm not sure she's ready for me to rejoin a front line field team."

"_She's_ on a front line field team," Jonas pointed out.

"I know," Daniel acknowledged, in a way that made Jonas think he was resigned to it. "She and I haven't had a chance to talk about it; and ultimately it's up to Jack. General Hammond too but he'll take Jack's recommendation. I know you want an answer, but there's a lot to consider first."

Daniel seemed to think that was the end of the conversation. He put his boots on and laced them smartly, then stood and got his belt out of a drawer and his watch from the top of the dresser. Jonas heard the water in the shower shut off.

Daniel went to the bathroom door again and opened it the same tiny bit that he had earlier.

"Jill?"

"Yes."

"I'm going with Jonas to debrief now."

"Okay. Meet me in the cafeteria? I'm starving."

"Okay," he hesitated a moment, then added, "I love you."

"I love you too."

As they left the room Jonas said, "The rumor mill has it that you and Jillian shared quite a moment in the Gate Room."

"Rumor mill?"

"You made quite an impression on a few of the nurses in the infirmary," Jonas informed him.

"Ah."

"According to them you just about ravished Jillian right in front of the whole Gate crew," Jonas was joking but then he saw the somewhat embarrassed look on Daniel's face.

"Actually," he said, "I almost did….."

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	44. Chapter 44

"Heads up," Jillian said.

Daniel looked up from the report he was reading just in time to snatch something out of the air. His fist closed around it for a second and then opened it to find a set of keys. Several sets of keys actually, linked together. There was a metal tag with a black enamel coating etched with the words 'Archaeologists do it in the dirt.'

"What's this?" he asked.

Jillian leaned in the office doorway, folded her arms across her waist and gave him an enigmatic smile. Daniel sighed. He had gotten used to the idea that everyone he knew seemed to be following Jack's lead. While everyone was willing to give him something that would trigger a memory, no one actually filled in the blanks for him.

He looked at the keys again and noticed that one said 'Ford.'

"These are the keys to your truck," he said, holding up the circle that held those two keys – one for the door and ignition and one for the camper shell.

She smiled with brilliant satisfaction but kept silent. He moved to another ring and stared at them for a while.

"These are the keys to the house," he said, finally.

His voice seemed to falter and he looked up at her uncertainly.

"Yes," she said, standing up straight and gave him a come hither look. "Come on. We're going home."

Daniel stood up so fast he almost knocked over his coffee. He grabbed the cardboard cup and saved it with SGC-honed reflexes.

"Are you sure?"

"I need daylight," Jillian said, "We haven't been outside in two days; and it's time for you to see the house."

Daniel had been able to describe it to her in extreme detail, just the night before while they had been a tangle of arms and legs and candlelight. He remembered the eye-bleeding wall colors and the downstairs and the garage plans he had been drawing. His voice had spoken softly into the silky light as their hearts had calmed. Jillian had listened to him, lulled into a near trance by contentment, pressed tightly against him, as if she could never be close enough. Their love making had been unhurried, delicate, and somehow more deeply personal than ever before. They had lingered, murmured, and explored each other with a kind of fascinated curiosity that belied how many times they had already experienced the same intimacy.

Now, Daniel swept her with a look. She was wearing low slung jeans, a light pink ribbed tank top that was hugging her the way he wanted to and totally nonregulation sandals.

"Will I be able to change into something more civilian at the house?" He asked.

Jillian took a breath as if to speak and then paused for a moment.

"We'll need to go shopping," she admitted and then, when she saw him frown, quickly added, "We gave away a lot of your clothes. There didn't seem to be any point in letting them stay in boxes when someone could use them. I think there's a box of jeans still and I kept some of your favorite sweaters…. Well. _My_ favorite sweaters that were yours."

"It's a little warm out for a sweater isn't it?" he asked.

"For _you_?" She asked, with feigned shock, "I don't think the temperatures have hit triple digits yet."

Daniel had walked across the room and joined her at that point. He caught her around the waist, pulled her tight and kissed her in the doorway of his office, heedless of who might be walking by. Having declared, rather publically, that he loved her, Daniel no longer seemed adverse at all to PDAs. The kiss was sweet, lips and softness and so wonderfully, sensually mortal

"Am I always that cold?" He asked when the kiss broke. He looked puzzled.

"As Hoth," she responded.

"Hoth," he repeated.

Jillian watched as Daniel's gaze went inward and his eyes tracked back and forth. She had gotten used to this; the way he would repeat an unfamiliar phrase and then concentrate. Sam had said it was like Daniel sent a key word search into the hard drive of his memory. Some of it, Jillian thought, Daniel had recovered through sheer force of will. She was slightly surprised that he had not allowed the memory lapses to upset him. She'd seen no trace of frustration or anger; only the occasional ironic lift of his eyebrows and a wry twist to one side of his generous mouth.

He grinned at her a little now and she couldn't help but smile back. His smile made her feel like she was walking in the sun. "I'll take 'planets in Star Wars" for a hundred, Alex," he quipped.

Jillian laughed, put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him lightly as a reward. He tried to give her back the keys and she refused them.

"No, you can drive," she said.

"I can?"

Jillian took his arm and steered him out into the hall, heading for the elevators.

"You have a license that says so," she said.

"Well, yeah," he said, "But that's not exactly the point. Don't you think I should read through a driver's manual or something first? Just in case some minor detail hasn't been redeposited in the memory bank?"

"You'll be fine," she said, confidently.

"Jill," Daniel said, alternately horrified, hesitant and pleased, "Even if I remember how to drive, it's your _truck."_

"And?" She prompted, as they reached the elevator and she keyed it to stop for them.

"You _love _that truck," he said, "You custom ordered that truck."

"And?"

The doors slid open and they entered the empty compartment. Daniel turned his back to her for a moment, his hands jammed in his pockets. Jillian gave him the silence he needed as the lights on the elevator display climbed to Level Eleven. She had worried that the events of his life, his inability to remember anything about being Ascended, would somehow make him brood more than he had before. But something about admitting their love and the incredible closeness they had shared since his return had given him more humor and joy than she had seen in the past.

It didn't mean he still didn't need moments of silence, in his own head, while he wrestled with his thoughts. The truck didn't mean as much to her as _he_ did. She would force this if she had to; and she'd win. She'd learned a bit about bullying for someone's own good from her time with Teal'c as her protective shadow.

_That_ was something she needed to discuss with Daniel still.

The elevator was inching closer to eleven when she finally went and slipped her arms around his waist and pressed her forehead between his shoulder blades.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven," she whispered.

Daniel made a dry sound in his throat and turned to take her in his arms.

"My girlfriend can quote Winnie the Pooh _and _Milton," he observed.

Jillian smiled. "I wouldn't give you the keys if I didn't think you could do it," she told him, "It's more muscle memory, like riding a bike; and you remembered that just fine."

"I just don't want to make you mad," he said.

"I'll be right beside you," she assured him.

"Promise?"

They stepped apart as the doors opened, but not before she had time to stand up on tiptoe to whisper in his ear,

"Where else would I be?" Her voice drifted, low and tender.

A response too intense to be mere gratitude leapt in his chest.

"Trust what I see in you, Daniel," she said.

His hand slipped around hers, a soft brush of fingertips that became a firm grasp. They stepped through the doors into the corridor where they would sign out and take the primary elevator to the surface. Jillian looked up at him and for a moment her green eyes were filled with such an intimate gaze that he couldn't return it for long – not here, in spite of his new found confidence.

If she was all he had to guide him, he would follow her as water followed the moon.

(0)

He pulled up to the curb with no small feeling of satisfaction, guiding Jillian's iris-colored truck to a smooth stop. The truck was completely unscathed, as were its passengers. He turned off the ignition, removed the key and sank back with a sigh of relief. When he looked at Jillian she was looking back with amusement and a half-smile.

"Not so bad?" she asked.

"It's an automatic," he said.

"So, later we can go get the jeep out of storage and we'll take it four-wheeling," she challenged.

Daniel let out a small groan and dropped his head briefly on the steering wheel.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked.

He turned to give her back the amused smile but his gaze was seized by the house that he could see through the passenger window.

"You painted it," he said.

"I did. Do you like it?"

Daniel studied the welcoming green-gray and soft creamy white trim.

"I do," he admitted.

He tried to hand her back the keys but she shook her head.

"You open the door," she encouraged.

Daniel studied her for a moment and then nodded. He got out of the truck and came around to help her out, shutting the door for her – not because she needed that kind of old-fashioned gesture but because he wanted her beside him; and he was stalling a little bit.

The key turned smoothly in the lock. For a moment Daniel was seized by the impulse to step back. It flashed through him like a streak of lightning in an over-burdened thunder cloud. He was certain at times that the storm cloud was just waiting to break; and never certain at all what might be the final drop of water that started the deluge.

The entrance was pretty much as he remembered. The walls were now a neutral beige. The wall of windows looking out onto the deck was covered in filmy sheer curtains that let in light but gave some privacy. The furniture was placed but there were still boxes all over. The last time he had been in this room it had been boxes and scaffolding, canvas tarps and the smell of the environmentally correct paint that Jillian had insisted on. The painters had just finished the second coat of primer.

Daniel wandered into the dining room and put his hand flat on the dark maple table. A slanted ray of sunshine was coming in the front window, settling on the pattern of wood grain and memories. The past whispered – his father's voice speaking in Arabic, whispering wisdom, his mother's arms hugging him goodnight – the childhood he remembered and cherished, the time before he had been discarded into foster care.

"This belonged to my parents," he murmured.

"Yes," she said.

"I can still see it in the dining room in the apartment in New York City," he gave the table a long caress, the kind he usually reserved for Jillian. "This has spent most of its life in storage."

"You don't mind that I got it out?"

He turned. "No," he said, quickly, "No it's fine. I'm glad you did."

Daniel meant it. He no longer had the same sense of death that he had once had; though he was uncertain why since he couldn't remember a thing about being Ascended. But he had no feeling of something being disturbed. His parents had been a part of him; and by extension they were a part of Jillian. It was the continuum he now lived in.

He moved to the aquarium and bent to peer into the calm serenity of the miniature ocean. He was unusually moved that Jillian seemed to have set it up exactly as it had been in his condo. He hoped it had helped her to have a small part of him and a small part of the ocean she loved.

"Daniel…." Jillian hadn't intended to say more, and her voice wavered, trembling like a still pond disturbed by the drop of a pebble.

Daniel turned around at once and felt his name draw out between them like a caress. The vivid memories on Daniel's face touched Jillian's senses as clearly as the first deep breath of air on an alien world. She could see the past burning in his eyes. Daniel held out his hand and she went to him, winding her arms around his waist and holding him as if she had not let him go even for a second since he had been miraculously returned to them.

Daniel bent his head to Jillian's shoulder, content to let the moment eddy around them, drawing them closer until they were wound into one. In their embrace he felt a gathering of strength, as if she was giving him everything she had learned about living without through her touch. Warmth rose up his chest and stayed there, spreading a fine layer between skin and cotton t-shirt, even as he prepared to let go of her and see the rest of the house.

He wanted to ask her, suddenly, what it had been like – setting up the house, opening boxes of things that had once belonged to him, things they had picked out together. But he didn't want to pick at wounds that the fire of her tears had cauterized. In his mind's eye he could see her doing all those things and he felt a flood of memories not his own, memories borrowed from her.

Daniel straightened, tightened his arms around her briefly before letting go and then went once again to the living room. The furniture here seemed to be all his. The couch that had witnessed their first union was positioned in front of the towering fireplace. He looked from it to her and found only that misty half-smile as an answer.

Avoiding the bedroom, he went downstairs. The mahogany shelves they had picked out already lined two walls, double deep on movable tracks. Her love seat, chair and ottoman were there, amid unpacked boxes all labeled 'Books.' His plants were all lined up against the sliding glass door.

"There's still a lot to do," he noted.

"Teal'c can only unpack so many books before he feels the need to go fire his staff weapon at something," Jillian answered, lightly and Daniel grinned.

"Well, I'll do this now."

"I'm sure Teal'c will be thrilled."

The sight of his desk drew him into the room that was to have been his office. The desk and chair were there, and book shelves haphazardly stacked with artifacts and reproductions, more of his plants and most of his journals.

Daniel didn't see any of that. A single long, narrow table against the wall seized his attention. It was covered in some of the robes he had worn on Abydos. Pictures in wooden frames sat on it – Sha're, Kasuf, Skaara, group shots of people he had lived with and loved for over a year, the pyramid, the houses, the tents. A small basket held stones from the Caves of Kaleema, trinkets and leather bracelets. In the center was a larger photograph of him. Some of his journals, he suspected all the ones he had written on Abydos, were stacked beside the photo.

Daniel stood staring for a moment at the remnants of a life lost.

"Jill," he started and then had to stop. He pulled his glasses off, scrubbed viciously at his eyes with thumb and forefinger for a moment and then simply stared at the gray carpet under his feet.

"Sam and I thought you needed a memorial," Jillian said, quietly.

She came up beside him but didn't touch him, wondering now if she should have taken it down. After what had happened to Abydos she had felt an overwhelming need to have it remain.

"Where…." A long shattered breath left him, then a long inhale before he could speak again, "Where did you get the photographs of Kasuf and Skaara and …and all the others?"

"Sam and I thought they needed to know what happened to you. We got the General to give us permission to travel to Abydos. There was a second memorial there," she kept her voice low and gentle.

"A second…?" His voice trailed off.

Jillian nodded. "We took the rest of your robes, a picture of you, your sandals and some other things, wrapped them up and buried them with Sha're," she hesitated, knowing the pain this was causing him, "That's where your other dog tag is, too."

Daniel sank down until he was sitting on the floor, as if his legs simply wouldn't hold him anymore.

"Dear _god,"_ he murmured.

Jillian knelt in front of him.

"Daniel, I'm sorry," she said, "I should have taken it down."

"No!" He looked up at her quickly, "No. I think it just hit me that they really are all gone too. Leave it, Jill. I'm glad it's here really. It's just a lot to take in."

Jillian saw the grief in his eyes, naked and unsoothed, turning them to rain-washed silver and mirroring what had been in her own for so long.

Daniel looked into Jillian's eyes, forest green and gold. It struck him that he need never look anywhere else again, and everything was suddenly within this moment.

"Jillian," he whispered, reaching for her face with both hands, cradling her with great care as he kissed her.

Jillian put her hands on his shoulders to steady herself, but then her fingers climbed to his hair, ruffling it, stroking it.

"I know," she murmured, against his mouth.

"I love you."

"I love you too…"

"I'm so sorry…"

"It's all right. You're here now."

The words caught on each other, mingled and overlapped. Daniel sighed and leaned against her, letting her gather him close and continue to stroke his hair. Grief began to move within him, gathering and tightening. Daniel let it rise and spread. It was contrary to what he usually did, but now he brought it all forward, from every unfinished thought to every painful experience that had ever tortured his nights and his dreams. Every stroke of Jillian's fingers brought him closer, retrieving and releasing memories that were part of what had made him who he was; memories that had made them who they were.

Thunder rolled and lightning flashed. The storm cloud burst. Like the spring floods that rushed down out of the mountains when winter thawed, the tears finally came.

(0)


	45. Chapter 45

**This opens the night before SG1 leaves for the planet they return from under fire in the beginning of Orpheus. These missing scenes will take a two or more chapters to finish.**

**(0)**

Daniel's fingers traveled lightly along her arm. "Do you think you can climax again?"

His voice was an erotic breath in her ear. Following the words that caused a shiver to shimmy down her spine, he kissed the place on her neck that always made her whimper.

As it did now. He felt the tremor that ran through her body and then he kissed her damp forehead, turning her and pulling her closer. Her skin under his fingertips was moist and flushed

"I don't… I don't know," Jillian panted.

She wasn't certain she had completely stopped climaxing from the last tender assault he had launched on her; and _where_ he had gotten this kind of stamina, she didn't know.

Nor did she care, at the moment.

"You'd have to be gentle," she finally conceded.

She felt his body tense, as if his soul had paused. She was incapable of opening her eyes, still drugged with sensation and ecstasy. But she knew a shadow passed over the intense blue of his eyes.

"Haven't I been?" He went back to nuzzling her neck and collarbone, but there was genuine concern in his voice.

"Yes," she said, quickly. His wandering mouth dropped lower. "I'm just…. Oh_ god, Daniel….mmmmm….. mmmm….._ really _gasp_ sensitive now."

"Ah," he seemed extraordinarily pleased with himself.

And probably with good reason. They'd been wrapped up in each other for hours, holding each other safe in mutual passion and release, never hesitating or faltering. He'd climaxed twice himself, flooding her with brightness and strength. She'd lost count; or there had been no way to count since some just segued into the next.

His fingers lingered and caressed, drifted with clear intent but no urgency. They were both too sated for urgency. Heat pooled between her legs and a surge of dizziness spread shadows across her vision. Her fingers carded into his disheveled hair as she closed her eyes.

Daniel played his tongue across her flushed skin. Her lashes fluttered and her breathing sounded pained as translucent fire followed his touch.

"I love you," Jillian whispered, surrendered to the thrill of feather-light touches that promised completion once again.

His mouth teased back up to her throat and then found hers, capturing it, demanding entry. She opened to him and he savored the moan that rose in her throat and was muffled by their kiss as his fingers found their desired target.

His touch became hypnotic, slow and rhythmic as ripples stroking a lakeshore. His fingers played and her hips pressed up to meet his caress, giving a small wriggle of pleasure. The response triggered an echo of breathless delight in Daniel's body, to his great surprise. He stopped kissing her long enough to catch his breath. Jillian whimpered and moved against his teasing touch.

The pressure in his groin became more intense. Daniel shifted so that his mounting erection was trapped against her thigh.

"Oh _god_, baby," Jillian groaned. "You're _incredible."_

He tried to speak but couldn't. He had believed that he was entirely spent for the rest of the night. He knew he was too exhausted to move, in spite of the sudden demands of his body for another release.

Jillian solved his problem by gently caressing him with her palm and then wrapping her hand around him with _exactly _the right amount of pressure he needed. Her touch was equally as light, just as teasing, except for her thumb – which was right _there_ and tormenting him like a vibrator. Scalding heat rolled across his senses as she conquered the long inches of him stroke by stroke.

Trying not to be lost in his own sensations, Daniel ground his teeth together and concentrated on the gentleness she had asked of him. Her breathing came faster and faster. Her hips arched up off the bed. His fingers moved in a slow, seductive rhythm, keeping her poised on the edge all too easily until she was finally ready to fall.

"_Daniel," a breathless warning followed by her lovely voice crying out over and over…. "Daniel….Daniel!"_

He thrust into her hand as she climaxed, certain it was the last bit of movement he would be capable of managing for the rest of his life. He thrust his hips forward - the pleasure in his blood, pulsing, surging with the rhythm, sweet broken gasps leaving his chest, pressure and friction scintillating on his shaft. Jillian stroked him through one surge after another while every nerve in her body sang in harmony.

Across a vague, dazzled consciousness, Daniel gathered her close.

"Come here," he murmured, dazed.

He stayed on his side and cradled her against his chest. The cadence of their shattered breathing evened out, though it took long moments of tender silence. As if they'd been born within seconds of each other, they breathed to the same rhythm, lived to the same heartbeat. Daniel could almost feel their unified pulse like a thread weaving them together. He let his eyes slip closed.

Desire ebbed out of them at last. Love closed around them in the shelter of each other's arms. Jillian's breathing had settled into the calm rhythm of sleep, lulled by the afterglow of sensual enchantment.

"I love you," Daniel whispered.

At some point between that thought and the dream that would wake him in the dark hours before daybreak, they fell asleep.

(0)


	46. Chapter 46

Daniel woke in the middle of the night. Newfound battle reflexes kept him absolutely still as he sought for the reason his sleep had been so abruptly disturbed. Alarm rode him hard enough to have his heart pounding but there was nothing immediately obvious. He was still in the moon-drenched bedroom he shared with Jillian. Arms and legs still entangled, one of his hands was resting on her rib cage, rising and falling with the peaceful rhythm of sleep. It no longer felt strange to him to come awake and find her there, wrapped up in him exactly as they had fallen asleep. It was comforting and intimately familiar, though he acknowledged that it was probably more so for Jillian since she had lived without it for so long.

He became aware that they were uncomfortably stuck together in places, as well as to the sheets – the unfortunate aftermath of having fallen into a glazed unconsciousness immediately after climaxing for the third time in as many hours. He moved slowly, lifting his head from the pillow to look down onto her face. Moonlight painted gentle shadows on the angles and planes of cheek and jaw and forehead that he had come to love. Even in the black and white tableau created by the moonlight, Daniel could read the happiness on her lovely face – the same happiness he had erased for over a year.

_It should have been forever, Daniel…._

She was right but somehow that didn't help. He had a sudden need to look into her eyes and watch the warm green light up with joy and laughter and far more understanding than he deserved. Every time she saw him, it was like watching the sun come out in a forest after a long rain.

A long rain of tears.

Robbed of daylight, her hair shone like black silk tossed on the pillow. He knew the feel of it gliding through his fingers, pressed against his lips, trailing across his chest and abs, against his hips and thighs….

How he loved her. Love – it was a small word in every language he knew, so small for something that was such an immense, endless feeling. She deserved better than someone who would throw his life away to save people he didn't even know.

Her eyelashes fluttered occasionally. Daniel knew she dreamed, though it never seemed to bring her wide awake with her heart pounding, wondering what danger had come into their lives.

Still alert and with a sense of nameless unrest nagging at him, Daniel extricated himself from Jillian's arms and tried to get out of bed without waking her.

He failed, but through no fault of his own. She was too connected to him- literally and figuratively. He winced as his leg came free of the sheets.

"Daniel?" Her voice was muzzy, confused. She reached out to touch him and found that he was sitting up when her hand touched his ribs. "What's wrong?"

Equally battle honed, she froze for a moment.

"Nothing, I….," he paused when he realized what had woken him, "I was dreaming."

She sat up, put her arms around his waist and laid her forehead on his arm.

"Do you remember it?"

For all that Daniel's time as an Ascended Being eluded him during the day flashes of it had started interrupting his dreams. He struggled now to regain the dream, to untangle the riot of images and thoughts. He found only fragments and shreds but it didn't feel like something from his past.

"I'm not sure it was a memory," he murmured into the moonlight.

"Maybe you should just let it go," she said, kissing the damp skin pulled taut over his bicep. Her breath was warm. "They aren't going to give you back the knowledge of the Ancients, Daniel, not even in your dreams."

He turned so that he was looking down into her eyes, shadowed, fathomless in the moonlight. In one of those odd moments of perfect clarity Daniel saw everything she was thinking.

Daniel reached for her hand, pressed his lips against her palm and then trapped it over his heart, holding it tight.

"I can't control my dreams, Jill," he said, "Or keep them from waking me up at night."

The barely captured images tantalized him, tormented him. Over a year of his life (life?) – gone. Memories, experiences that should be his, were no more than shooting stars across his mind. His and then gone in the moment between one breath and the next.

It was enough to drive a man with a photographic memory mad with frustration. He had never forgotten anything in his life. Now he had a blank space he could not fill. Where had he gone? What had he known and might still know?

Why had he come back? Punishment or choice?

Or both? He had broken rules, that much had become clear. Had they given him some say in the consequences?

Perhaps someone else would have been able to let it go or would find peace in setting it free. But not Daniel; not the quicksilver, restless spirit that was Daniel. The same need to know that had driven him to seek Ascension in the first place now drove him towards those memories – dark or light, it made no difference to him. When it came to knowledge, Daniel was unquenchable.

"Oma," Daniel whispered, suddenly, as his attention abruptly wandered back to the dream.

Jillian looked up at the side of his face illuminated by the milky moonlight. There was a tension around his eyes, emphasizing the lines that worry and pain had put there too early.

"Dan?" she said, squeezing his arm and trying to hold him in the moment.

"No, she was in the dream." He glanced at her, a quick shift of his eyes giving reassurance.

He saw the way her mouth set just before she rested her forehead on his arm again. Jillian had a conflicted love/hate relationship with Oma that Daniel suspected was all one sided. On the one hand, without Oma Daniel would have died; on the other, Jillian still had not forgiven what she considered the worst college prank ever. He had learned that when it came to his emotional well-being, Jillian was a little over-protective. He wasn't sure why that knowledge had eluded him in the past – unless he had just been dense, which was entirely possible.

"Daniel…"

He hated the fear in her voice.

"It's all right," he said, quickly, "I don't think it was a memory. I think…" He paused. Jillian would not like the idea of Oma being in their bedroom, even if it had only been in the shadowed place of his dreams. Their home had become her sanctuary. "Come here."

He lay down on his side, drawing her along with him, and enfolded her in a careful weave of sheltering arms and legs.

"You think it was a vision," she guessed, nestling into all the curves of his body where she fit like a puzzle piece. "She was here."

Daniel resisted grinding his teeth together. Her insight and intelligence was at once a delight and a curse.

"Not in that sense, not in the sense that Oma is ever just in one place at one time," he said, slowly.

"Don't be cryptic, Daniel, "she said, "I got enough of that when you were Ascended."

He tried not to wince, but it was a simple fact that she remembered more about his time Ascended than he did. He tightened his arms around her and fought through the fog of forgetfulness in search of the rest of his dream.

"I was in a place that was nothing but shadow and mist," he began.

Jillian tensed like one of the prairie dogs she adored when it sensed danger. Her head snapped back abruptly. Her face was cast in shadow while his was lit with moonlight. It didn't matter. He knew she had him pinned.

"What?" he asked, alarmed.

"Go on," she said in a voice that had lost all expression.

"Oma was there." He paused between words, as if each one was a step through a minefield. Jillian didn't react any more but she hadn't relaxed either. "She gave me something …. I can't see it now, but she said it was mine to finish or break….. I feel…like it was something important but I can't see it and I don't know what it was."

Some of the tension ran out of Jillian but he could sense that she still wasn't relaxed.

"Think of colors, all the colors you can possibly imagine," she whispered into the dark, "And glass and combine them into the most beautiful abstract shape ever created."

"Jill?"

"Close your eyes, Daniel, and just do it," she sounded resigned.

"_Bǎobèi_…" Pleading.

"Daniel." An order. "Stop fighting it."

"It scares you," he protested.

"Not this."

"You know where I was."

"No I don't, but you took me there, or I found you there, when you were Ascended. It's all right, Daniel. Try to remember."

"This is one of those things you remember but I don't." He stated it as a fact.

"Yes, so I'm not going to help you with it. If you're meant to have it, then you will."

"You're not going to say something mysterious like 'if you reach your pinnacle you will have returned to your origin', are you?"

"No that's Oma's job."

Daniel didn't close his eyes exactly. He just stopped focusing on the small space in front of him that was the only thing he could usually see before his poor vision turned everything fuzzy.

He saw it then, in his mind's eye – a glass sculpture of exquisite beauty. Sand and water and the breath of human life, the most basic elements combined to create something magical. Not as fragile as some might think, glass would survive extremes of heat and cold quite easily. But sudden change could shatter it beyond repair. The sculpture was all colors at once, working in harmony. The twin spires reaching into the heavens were lovely individually. Entwined with grace and fluidity, touching and moving apart only to come back together at some further point along their mutual trajectory, they formed something surreal and breathtaking.

Daniel spoke into the moonlight, describing it as best he could. Even though he could speak three dozen languages, and occasionally lapsed now into one or the other as he sought the right words to explain the vision before him, none of the words seemed right. He was starting to get frustrated by his inability to explain it to her, when she stopped him.

"Daniel!"

Startled, he paused.

"I've seen it," she said, softly.

Daniel blinked. He realized the room was starting to lighten and dawn must be approaching.

"What?"

Now her voice filled the silence and it was as if her words were bringing the new day with them. Daniel listened in amazement as she told him everything she remembered from her vision.

"You're saying _I_ made this place?" he asked when she was done.

"The misty place? Yes, that's what you told me."

"Why?"

"You said you were hiding and you were trying to fix the sculpture – the one you said was _me, _was _us."_

"Why did I have to hide?" It was more a rhetorical question but Jillian sat up and raked all ten fingers through her hair, finally resting her head on her drawn knees.

He could see her as a silhouette now, against the early light. She looked small and vulnerable, curled up tight as she was, hugging her knees.

"I don't know, Daniel. I have a working hypothesis but I can't test it. I only have hypothetical data and personal experiences that may not even have been real, not actual empirical evidence."

Scientist, seeking the logic and fact checking demanded by their profession in an attempt to make sense of the nonsensical. She made his heart throb. _God_ how he loved her, he thought again.

"Share it with me," he said.

Jillian sighed.

"Jill, please. I might look like I'm lying down here, but I'm on my knees begging you. Help me understand what I might have gone through. Please, _bǎobèi."_

She turned and looked at him.

"I don't think you could ever let all of us go, Daniel," she said, so softly he had to strain to hear her. "I think you were supposed to Ascend and never look back. But it seems as if you spent a _lot_ of that time with one of us or the other, trying to warn us, trying to fix us. I'm not sure what you were supposed to be doing, but all of us felt watched over. We _all_ saw you at some point and you were still very much concerned about this world, _this_ plane of existence. You couldn't give us up."

"I am pretty sure I couldn't do that," he said, "I can't imagine doing it."

Jillian turned and put her hand on his cheek.

"I don't think your soul is just your own any more. I think it's made up of all the people you love now – Jack, Sam, Teal'c," she hesitated, and added quietly, "me….. even all the people at the SGC, your new career. We're who you _are_ now and you couldn't leave us; or stand idle while we were put in danger."

He frowned.

"For all the good that did," he muttered.

"Daniel, don't," and now her voice had tears in it.

He could see into her now and he looked straight into the shadows at the bottom of her gaze to find the controlled fears and passions that burned there.

"You want me to be free of it," he said, in a hushed whisper, crystal clear clarity dawning like the day outside their window.

"I want _us_ to be free of it," she answered, fiercely.

"Jill," Daniel began – and then the linguist confronted the complexity of trying to express deep emotions with mere words. "Be patient with me," he finally said, even though he thought he had already stretched her well beyond the limits of normal human patience.

She responded in two words that somehow meant more to him than the three words they couldn't stop saying to each other.

"I will."

(0)


	47. Chapter 47

**Still filling in scenes during Orpheus. This is not long after Daniel tells Sam he wonders if he chose this, or if he could be doing more good somewhere else (which made me want to smack him actually...)**

**(0)**

Jillian heard and felt the snap of the Gate shutting down. The Gate was a thing of wonder, a marvel of nature. She had once thought that nothing would seem more miraculous to her.

She had been wrong. The most amazing miracle she had ever seen, and would ever see again for the rest of her life, was the man standing in the door of the Gate Room with his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels and looking sheepish, distracted and worried all at the same time.

Joy spiraled in her like a dancing wind. The distance down the ramp and across the concrete made it seem as if the distance between worlds still separated them_. _

_And if the Lady could hear me and give me one wish, I would wish to come back and find you again._

_Ah, Daniel…_

Then she was enfolded in warm arms, corded muscles tight even though he held her loosely. They kissed without really thinking about it. Jillian reached up to cup the back of his head and met him halfway, slow and hot, as smoothly as if they'd planned the whole thing out in advance, and practiced it a dozen times.

"How is 901?" He asked, eventually.

The planet of Anubis and his drowned and destroyed empire. Suddenly it had more attention than Jillian knew how to handle – and she was in charge.

"It's chaos, borderline insanity. I never thought I would miss the days when it was underfunded," she said; then she pinned him with a look from beneath her lashes," But I didn't have to come running back under fire."

Daniel flicnhed, looked at the ground and then back at her. The look in his eyes managed to reach new heights of guilt and humility and bravery all at the same time. They didn't have the safest occupations in the galaxy and she knew it, but after their long separation he was willing to concede that she had more reason to worry now than before.

He wondered if everyone else saw her the way he did – the keen clarity in her goddess-green gaze and the gentle strength of will beneath it.

"You heard about that, huh?" Daniel asked, torn between wanting to reassure her and not wanting to make light of something that had nearly killed Teal'c.

It had been bad – very bad. Only something very bad could take out a Jaffa warrior of Teal'c's experience and skill.

"From the guys who did our supply run," she shrugged, not willing to get into this in the Gate Room. "Mallory almost had to tie me down to keep me from coming back."

Daniel enfolded her in his arms again, burying his face in her hair.

"Don't go away for so long again," he whispered.

The words were out before he could consider them, before he could weigh the two weeks he had been waiting for her against the fifteen months she had endured without him. The weight of those months, that she still carried and he knew only in the most abstract sense, seemed to crush the air between them for a moment.

"Only if you make me the same deal," she answered, finally.

"Okay," he swore, even if he couldn't back up that promise at all.

"How is Teal'c?" She abruptly changed the subject and he was grateful.

"Recovering."

"I want to see him."

"He's, uh, not very receptive to company right now."

"Being snarly?"

"You could say that."

Jillian sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Okay, listen, I really want a shower and I'm exhausted. Hot fresh water that flows out of a faucet at the turn of a knob and a bed with a mattress we didn't inflate are high on my list of sensual pleasures right now."

"I'm working on something in the Control Room," Daniel hedged, not wanting to share his nagging suspicions just yet, "I'll join you soon?"

He realized his second mistake the moment he saw the flicker in her eyes change from tired to piercing.

"What are you working on in the Control Room? You've never done that before."

Daniel hesitated.

"Umm, I just needed to look at the records of the incoming activations."

"Don't keep things from me, Daniel." The words were an interrogation.

For a heartbeat the shadow of Daniel's Ascension loomed dark over the sweetness of their relationship.

"I'm not!" he protested.

"I know you don't want to," she said, too lightly now. Her voice had changed, not accusing, patient, but holding a plea that he wouldn't refuse; one that he couldn't refuse.

"Jill, listen, you're tired but I will tell you everything right now," he spoke rapidly, words tripping one after the other." I'm having an odd vision, someone screaming; and I can't stop thinking about Rya'c."

Daniel felt no small sense of relief when he saw the surrender in her eyes. If it involved Teal'c's son she wouldn't argue with him. A search for his memories of being Ascended for his own sake – that she would argue. For some reason any time he suggested hunting for those memories, it scared the hell out of her.

But she wouldn't block him from something that might help a member of his team.

He drew her back into his embrace and inhaled deeply, catching the scents of salt air and sun block. The way she leaned into him, he could feel her fatigue. He wished suddenly that they were in a guarded place, lying alone in each other's arms.

"That's all at the moment I swear. Well, that and..and..and.. I think the answer is in the incoming Gate records. I promise I won't let it make me, or you, crazy," he said.

Irish-green eyes studied him for an uncertain moment. Daniel watched her anxiously, waiting for the flash of temper that would burn him right down to the ground.

"What do you want me to do to help?" she asked, finally.

Love, hope and joy flooded him at the same time. If he kissed her now there would be another scene in the Gate Room to feed the gossip chain.

"You can go indulge in those sensual pleasures you were craving; and then I can work knowing that you're safe and sound and asleep in our bed," he answered.

"Don't want to join me?" she asked.

"I can see how exhausted you are, _mo mhúirnín bán_. Get some sleep. I'll come find you in a little while. I'll check on Teal'c first and see if he's any more amenable to company."

Jillian nodded and tried to dispel the sudden unquiet in her soul. Daniel was watching her anxiously, so for his sake, she smiled.

(0)

Her chosen career often demanded days, if not weeks, without basic luxuries. Two weeks of solar heated reclaimed salt water had given her an entirely new understanding of what was wonderous. The simple miracle of unlimited fresh hot water that would cascade down at the touch of her fingers did more to revive Jillian than hours of sleep. She found Sam at the lockers, toweling off her fluffy mass of hair. Her fair skin was still slightly pink from her own shower.

"Hey, when did you get back?" she asked Jillian.

"A while ago, long enough too run out all the hot water on the base I think," Jillian smiled, "I came back with the supply run – packed out with the garbage."

"Just to take a break or did you find something?" Sam asked.

"A break," Jillian admitted, sitting down on the bench, "I don't really know what they expect me to find, Sam. That city was destroyed thousands of years ago. Even some of the oldest Tok'ra don't know specifically why, which I guess I really don't have to tell you."

"In the meantime you get to explore it," Sam said, cheerfully, joining her on the bench.

"In the meantime I get to stand on the shore planning and taking reports while Mal shouts orders," Jillian said, ruefully, "We've got retired Navy Seal divers who volunteered and while I appreciate their help they just _love_ taking orders from an Air Force Colonel and a civilian archaeologist."

"You'd think we'd be used to being surrounded by too much testosterone," Sam commented.

Jillian grinned, "Maybe there's the guys we've gotten used to and the other ones." She paused as she pulled her T-shirt on, "Speaking of whom, Daniel said Teal'c is going to be fine but he's been cranky?"

"That's one way to put it. He's driving himself pretty hard and he won't talk to anyone about it."

Jillian studied her friend for a moment and then said, drily, "Teal'c won't _talk?_ How odd."

Sam wrinkled her nose in a frown. "It's worse than usual. Even when he isn't talking he's _with_ us, you know. He's _here._ Now it's like he's shut down. I don't know what to do or say; and he's not the only one I've been worried about."

Jillian froze for a moment and then turned on the bench to lance Sam with a very narrow look.

"Who else are you worried about?" she asked, quietly.

Sam looked guilty. Jillian shook her head – with Sam and Daniel who couldn't keep anything from showing in their expression, and Teal'c who revealed _nothing _unless he wanted to, it was no wonder SG1 had never taken to playing poker like other teams did.

"Sam," Jillian let just enough demand slip into her tone for Sam to know she wasn't going to let it go.

"It's Daniel," she admitted.

"What's he been doing?" Jillian was deceptively calm, though the straight set of her lips and the furrow between her brows gave away the anxiety within.

"He's distracted, moody," Sam said, uncertainly, "It's like…it's like he's not sure he really wants to be _here_, with us. Something he said to me in the Control Room earlier… just really made me wonder where his head is."

"What did he say?" Jillian didn't sound like she really wanted to know, but needed to anyway.

"He said he didn't know if he had chosen this or if he could be doing more good if he was still….."

Sam trailed off and looked at Jillian helplessly.

"Still Ascended," Jillian finished with a deep sigh.

"Yeah," Sam acknowledged.

Jillian leaned forward, rested her elbows on her knees and raked all ten fingers through her damp hair.

"So now we're all worried that he'll do something stupid and get himself killed again, just to Ascend," she summarized.

"Something like that," Sam said, cautiously, "Jack's been driving him hard, especially on the firing range. Daniel got grumpy with him two days ago and stalked off."

_Jack._ Jillian had noticed long ago that between them, in private, Sam never called her CO anything but Jack. In public, he was 'sir' or 'colonel.' He called her 'Carter', even in his living room having pizza and beer. Jillian knew Sam was seeing someone now, someone her brother Mark had set her up with and it appeared to be going well. Still…. Jillian had to wonder.

"Did they stop speaking?" Jill asked.

"Just for a couple of hours, but I think it's a good thing they weren't firing live rounds."

"Daniel didn't do anything wrong on the last mission? The one you came back from under fire?" Jillian's memory flashed back suddenly on the guilt in Daniel's eyes when she had confronted him about their narrow escape.

"No, he was fine. The team functioned just like always. When he has to be in the moment, everything is great. Well as great as it can be when you're running for your lives. But the last two weeks, he and Teal'c have just gotten more and more withdrawn. For a while, Jack and Daniel were kind of working together on whatever is bothering Teal'c but then they got into it with each other. Now Daniel's on this tangent, chasing a memory."

"Stressed and taking it out on each other?" Jillian wondered out loud.

Sam shrugged. "Maybe," she said. It wouldn't have been the first time Jack and Daniel got each other going just to relieve tension; "or maybe Jack senses that Daniel is drifting off too. Whatever it is going on, I've been feeling pulled in three different directions at once and, frankly, it kind of hurts if Daniel isn't sure he wants to be with us. Doesn't he have any idea how we feel about him; how much we missed him?"

"If he's focusing on something else, he's probably just too dense to realize how it sounds," Jillian said, in a tone heavy with exasperation and affection. "Not that it's any excuse and he'll be horrified to find out he said something that hurt you. But you know how he gets."

It had better be a case of Daniel being too dense about what was right in front of him, or she just might have to throttle him. At times, he could be counted on to see every detail of a situation. At other times, Daniel would miss a bear doing the moonwalk down the corridors of the SGC because his thoughts were too intently narrowed in on something else.

"Don't tell him!" Sam protested.

"Of course I'm going to tell him," Jillian answered, "I'm not going to let him get away with being an ass."

"I'm sorry, Jill, I didn't mean to make you worry too," Sam said.

"I would have picked up on it sooner or later," she answered. "Maybe it's time I told him about the last conversation the two of us had when he was Ascended."

Jillian saw the brief flash of pain that crossed Sam's eyes like lightning inside a cloud. Sam still didn't understand why she seemed to be the only one Daniel had not made some kind of contact with during his Ascension. Jillian knew that hurt Sam too.

"What did you say to him, if you don't mind telling me?" Sam asked.

"I didn't say anything really. I kind of shouted it at him at the top of my voice," Jillian admitted.

"You _shouted_ at him?" Sam asked.

Sam had always thought that yelling at Daniel was the equivalent of kicking a puppy.

"I told him to choose, being Ascended or being with us, because I couldn't take living in the twilight anymore and I didn't like what he was becoming. I was furious with him at the time."

"Yeah," Sam said, very slowly, "You might want to tell him that then. Maybe he _did_ choose to come back."

"Have any of you ever told him what happened on Abydos? Jack practically ordered him to cross a line and Daniel did. We all know that's when we lost touch with him entirely. Crossing the line was certainly his choice, even if he didn't know what the consequences would be."

"I've never told him," Sam said, "I don't know if Jack did or not."

Jillian sighed again, heavily. "I think maybe we've all been keeping too much from him. If Daniel wants to know about his Ascension, I think we _should_ tell him. I just …. Daniel and I don't fight. We argue enough about certain artifacts and theories in archaeology. I think it drains the energy out of us for anything else. The other things we disagree about just don't seem worth it. It won't be easy to tell him I was spitting mad and screaming at him."

"Maybe you can leave that part out," Sam suggested.

Jillian was quiet for a long time, remembering that moment, months ago.

Remembering the ice that had coated the room in the face of Daniel's reaction to her anger, the sound of his voice and the power in it - enough power to reduce Cheyenne Mountain to frozen dust if he had wanted.

Was that what she really wanted him to remember; and was that why she hadn't wanted to talk to him about any of it?

Jillian knew Daniel loved her and she loved Daniel with a power so intense and so bright a thousand suns would pale in comparison.

But that brightness was nothing but a single candle in the black of space compared to the power Daniel had once held, when he was Ascended.

If he had _not_ chosen to be return to them, and he remembered – all of it, the power, the mistakes, how to _stay Ascended _this time, what choice would he make then?

If he chose to Ascend again, she would have to let him go.

And it would be brutal and a thousand times more unbearable than disease or accident or even murder, because he would have _chosen_ to leave her.

"Jill?" Sam said, anxiously.

Sam put her hand on Jillian's arm – an instinctive gesture of comfort and support, drawing her out of her thoughts. Jillian realized with a shock that she'd clenched her hands so tightly that they had turned white. She relaxed them and watched as the blood flooded back into her fingers.

Having seen her friend's reaction, Sam said, "Maybe you can just _not_ tell him right now and see how this turns out."

Jillian nodded, stood up and closed her locker.

"I think I need to sleep on it first," she said. "I'll catch up with you later?"

"Okay," Sam said.

Just before Jillian opened the door out into the corridor, Sam said,

"Hey Jill?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're back, even if it's just for a day or two. It makes me feel like I'm not alone with all this drama and testosterone."

"Yeah," Jillian said, with a genuine smile. She knew that if she needed to talk about this more, if she needed someone to really help her decide how to help Daniel, Sam would be there. "Back at ya."

(0)

mo mhúirnín bán – my fair darling, irish/gaelic

_And if the Lady should hear me_... - Samwise Gamgee, Tolkien, The Two Towers.


	48. Chapter 48

**Some like it **_**hot…**_

**(0)**

One thing Jillian had never gotten really used to was how really, totally, utterly pitch _dark_ their room at the SGC was when the lights were out. The sound of the door opening woke her. The light from the hall came in and stabbed her in the eyes, making her squint at the silhouette that moved across the beam of light just before the door clicked shut and sealed her in darkness again.

"Daniel?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She considered reaching for the touch lamp. Hitting it once would cast the room in the soft glow of a night light. But Daniel appeared to be moving around the room by memory alone, so she settled back into her pillow and waited.

She recognized enough of the sounds to know that he had left his clothes all over the floor again. Okay, she could forgive him this time. It wasn't like finding the hamper in the bathroom was that easy to do in the pitch dark. She made the mistake of letting herself imagine him, stripping out of his shirt, broad shoulders moving easily, boots, pants gone in smooth strokes….

_God, baby….. _It had been so _long…._suddenly it seemed like ages since she had held him.

She sat up in the dark and pulled off her t-shirt and panties. It would certainly save time – and possibly her clothing.

The sheet and quilt moved, the mattress shifted and then he was there with her.

Skin on skin… Jillian reveled in it; and in the sudden hard intake of his breath when he realized she was already naked. His mouth claimed hers. Her hips pushed against his, involuntarily. An almost electric spark passed between them when his nearly rigid cock brushed her thighs.

He had both hands against her back, one between her shoulder blades, the other between her hips, holding her tight. The muscles in his arms corded as she curled her hands up and around them. He tipped her head up with his own as he found the join of her neck and shoulder and suckled it without mercy.

"_Daniel_," she moaned, panting, wanting to say something more.

But she couldn't get out anything else, just muffled sobs of pleasure. They'd been apart for so long and the need was just too great. His hands were so warm and strong. She managed to get her right hand between them and found that he was now fully erect and throbbing like a drum beat. She threw one leg over his hip and wrapped her fingers around his cock, shifting so that it was touching her right _there…. Not inside…not….yet…..not yet…..oh god…oh god….oh god…_

Jillian tilted her head back further while Daniel mapped her throat and shoulders with hungry lips and tongue and he held his hips utterly still while she moved against his cock, using him like a toy and, god, he didn't care because her hand was tight, the full beautiful weight of her breasts were pressed and moving against his chest and it was good_, god_ it was so good…..

"_Daniel,"_ she begged,_ "Wait, baby, please, wait…. Oh god…..oh god, babe…."_

Her arm went up around his neck as if she was drowning. She let go of him and sank her nails into his hip, then buried her face in his shoulder as her legs slammed together, trapping his erection between her thighs as she came and came and came in helpless ecstasy.

She was still helpless when he urged her onto her back, parting for him, welcoming him blindly. Then it was Daniel's hands moving over her, Daniel's heat and strength and urgency moving in her, the slide of his body against hers, the stretch and deep pleasure rebuilding the need in her. She held him tight, gripped between her thighs, one hand on the valley between his shoulder blades, slick with moisture; the other at the back of his neck and the damp edges of his hair.

Straining, thrusting, reaching for each other, heat, release, ecstasy…._love….._

Daniel thrust so hard and came so violently he lifted them both off the bed three times. Jillian didn't actually notice since she had lost control again, pulsing in a frenzy of pleasure as he poured into her.

Sated and overwhelmed, Daniel fell onto his side and gathered her close. Strong arms wrapped around her, and she dimly realized that they were both trembling as if they had been struck by lightning. Daniel managed to turn his head just a little to press a kiss against her forehead. Jillian made an incoherent, muzzy little noise as she moved to rest her head on the place where his shoulder melted in his upper arm.

Daniel tried to organize the tangled sheets and comforter with one hand and then gave up. He was exhausted suddenly. He had wanted to make love to her and then talk, into the dark, into the night but he could tell she had already fallen back to sleep. The weight of her was peaceful and real in his arms.

Wrapped up in her, Daniel passed into a dreamless sleep. Talking would have to wait.

(0)


	49. Chapter 49

**The time frame for this is immediately following Jack and Daniel's attempts to give Teal'c a pep talk. Jillian has just returned for off world again. Immediately after is the scene in which Daniel and Teal'c meditate.**

**The time frame was really tricky for this one. If anyone has suggestions I would welcome them.**

**(0)**

Daniel followed her rather reluctantly into the elevator and watched as she slammed her security card into the slot so hard he thought it would get stuck there. Then she hit the button for the twenty first floor and glared at the light above the door until it started moving.

"Where are we going?" Daniel asked, even though he thought he knew.

"The infirmary," she answered.

"Why?"

"Because, this is ridiculous," Jillian said, impatiently. "The last time I was here Teal'c was lying in a bed in the infirmary still recovering. He could barely walk. Now I'm back again and everyone says he's _fine_ and healed _way_ ahead of anyone's expectations and _he's still lying in a bed in the infirmary!" _She paused to take a breath and get her temper under control. "What I don't understand…. What I _really_ don't understand is why all of you have just let him do it."

"Because all of us would rather keep our heads attached to our shoulders!" Daniel answered.

"Then you might want to stay in the hall when I talk to him!"

"Why?"

"Because I'm about to royally piss him off but I'm pretty sure he won't hit me!"

Daniel stared at her as if she had just announced that elves were coming for dinner. Gently, he stepped past her and hit the switch that would stop the elevator dead until he told it to start again.

Jillian glared at him.

"Jill," he began.

He stopped with an odd expression on his face. There was something vaguely familiar about this scenario, but he couldn't quite figure out what it was. He stood staring into nothing for a moment, until she lost patience again and said,

"Dan!"

He shook his head to clear it.

"Look, Jillian, I still don't remember the accident, or dying or anything from being Acended. But I'm pretty sure I've gotten back everything from before the accident; and one thing that I still don't remember is this relationship between you and Teal'c."

"You don't remember asking him to watch over me?"

"No."

"Well he took it pretty damned seriously. It was like I suddenly had two shadows."

"Do I need to apologize for that?"

She hesitated and then said, "No. He was good for me. But our relationship _is_ different now and you won't remember it, so you'll just have to keep up."

"What are you going to do?"

"You want to talk to him, right?" She knew Daniel too well to think that he saw any way to get through to Teal'c except talking.

"We did! In fact Jack and I just came from giving him a pep talk!"

"Is he still in the bed?"

"Yes."

"Did he tell you both to shut up?"

"Not in so many words."

"You're not going to negotiate him out of the infirmary, Daniel," Jillian said.

"What are you going to do then?"

Jillian folded her arms across her waist and then walked to the other side of the elevator.

"Last year for…..in July…. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't imagine it. I just wanted to stay in bed – not our bed, not without you. So I inflated the air mattress and threw it on the floor in the guest room and pulled the drapes shut and stayed there."

July….. His birthday. Daniel swallowed hard. He knew what it was like not to want to sleep in their bed alone. He had slept on the air mattress a number of times himself over the last month.

"I think I was there for about three days…"

"What? Where was Teal'c?"

"Contacting a Tok'ra operative! He was still a functioning member of a field unit after all."

"Where was your team?"

"Off world. I had taken a few days off."

"Three days, Jill?" He sounded horrified. "Okay, what happened?"

"Teal'c showed up and found me there."

"He didn't sit around talking to you I guess?" Daniel said.

"He hauled me out from under the blanket and threw me in a cold shower fully clothed….well, T-shirt and underwear…"

"Oh my god….," Daniel got that much out before lapsing briefly into stunned silence. He swallowed a few times to moisten his throat before managing to say, "What happened?"

"I screamed and called him something unrepeatable in Mandarin and tried to scratch his eyes out. He said if I ever stayed in bed like that again next time he'd throw me in a tub of ice and I stood there dripping cold water all over the bathroom floor and told him that if he tried I would put a dent in his head with his own staff weapon. That made him grin, which pissed me off but he said we were making progress."

Daniel stared at her for a long moment. He was _never_ going to make her angry again….never, never, never, _never…._

"You don't want me to help you throw him in a shower do you?" He asked, hesitantly, "Because I'm pretty sure that both of us together and the whole medical team couldn't…"

"No, that's not what he needs. I only told you this to help you understand what happened between Teal'c and me while you were gone."

Daniel stared at her. _Ai ya…_

"Was there bloodshed at some point?" he asked.

"No, it never came to that," she said, with a dry smile. "We're holding up the elevator, Daniel."

Still a bit unnerved Daniel keyed the elevator to start moving again.

"What _are_ you going to do?" he asked, pretty sure he wouldn't be able to stop her no matter what it was.

"I'm going to talk to him," she answered and Daniel wondered why that sounded so ominous.

(0)

_Wow,_ Daniel thought, _when did Jillian master the thousand yard stare?_

They had marched into the infirmary – well Jillian had marched….stalked actually. Daniel had kind of slunk in behind her, knowing he was about to watch two of the people he cared about most in this world tangle with each other.

She hadn't said a word, merely stood in front of Teal'c with her arms folded and her eyes locked with his in what seemed to be the Stare-Down World Championship Grudge Match of Century. Daniel had been utterly certain that Jillian would break first; and then, long _long_ moments later, Teal'c finally looked down briefly, looked back up and said,

"Is there something you require, Jillian North?"

"I'd like to know what the hell you're still doing in here," she said, bluntly.

"I am recovering," he rumbled. Given the way he was glaring at her, Daniel half expected Jillian to turn to stone before his eyes.

"Janet says you _are _recovered, fully, cleared for duty," she said.

"I believe Dr. Fraiser to be incorrect."

Jillian's return stare went from bake to broil.

"This is about the tretonin, isn't it?" she demanded.

Teal'c's narrowed eyes slid from Jillian and speared Daniel, who held up his hands in the universal sign of being unarmed.

"I didn't say a word!" he protested.

"As long as the mind is enslaved, the body can never be free," Jillian said, drawing Teal'c's attention again.

"Martin Luther King," Daniel said. In the next instant he was immobilized by two sets of displeased eyes. "I'll shut up now."

Jillian turned back to Teal'c and said in a low accusing tone,

"_Shan'krev'lar. Hasshak."_

Daniel inhaled sharply so sharply it took him another full minute to start breathing again. Teal'c's eyes narrowed until he looked almost sleepy. Daniel knew how dangerous he was when he looked like that.

_Ai ya, Jillian, are you insane?_

"What's happened to you?" Jillian went on, in the same low voice, almost a deadly croon, "After all these years – _decades! – _of wanting to be free of the Goa'uld _now_ you think that being without a symbiote makes you weak? Well what if it does? What if now you take a little longer to heal and you have to actually work at it like the rest of us? So _what_ if your team has to watch your back a little more closely? They're willing to do it! This is the price you have to pay! Did you think freedom was free? Or did you think you'd be able to pay it in the lives left on the battlefield, as long as one of them wasn't yours?"

"_Shel kree,"_ Teal'c snarled.

"No, it's not enough," Jillian answered, "Do you think we're weak because we have to submit to a series of vaccinations before we travel off world? Was Daniel weak when he had to take mega doses of antihistamine so he wouldn't spend all his time sneezing?"

Teal'c shot a look at Daniel that seemed to imply that, yes the Jaffa actually _had_ thought that.

"Hey!" Daniel said, and the insult on his face wasn't entirely feigned.

"Teal'c," Jillian said and somehow she still sounded like she was dressing down a cadet. "You don't really want to become that which you hate do you? Enslave the Goa'uld symbiotes? Is that the future of the Jaffa, because it sounds like nothing more than a different and more horrible way to be enslaved."

"Slaves would be tyrants were the chance theirs," Daniel quoted.

This earned him another set of heated looks. He didn't back down as easily this time.

"Teal'c, I know you once said as much to Apophis, that you'd survive on symbiotes and then discard them, but that's not really how you feel now is it?" Jillian asked.

Daniel was the recipient of another one of Teal'c's laser beam stares. He shrugged and looked only slightly guilty. Yes, he'd told Jillian that. He'd told her a lot about Apophis, probably more than he had told anyone else, ever.

Showing signs of exasperation, Jillian raked her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath. "You're asking us to believe that you've never been brave, that you've never had any doubts. You're asking us to believe that none of what you were able to do was the result of heart and training; that everything you've been up until now was because of a Goa'uld symbiote. Is that true?" Jillian asked.

"No," Teal'c said, bluntly.

"Then are you going to get out of this bed and back to work or do I have to go get a tub of ice water?" Jillian demanded.

Daniel tensed and prepared to get between them if necessary. Jillian and Teal'c continued to hold each other's gaze as if they had been riveted together. She had her feet braced and her hands curled into fists on her hips.

"Fine," she said, finally. She spun on her heel and started for the door and Daniel had the feeling she fully intended to come back with a bucket of ice. He started after her with no small sense of alarm.

"Jillian North."

Teal'c's deep, level voiced stopped them both at the exit. They turned and found him standing on his feet.

"_Dal shakka mel_," he said.

Daniel just stared but a deeply satisfied smile appeared slowly on Jillian's face.

"_Chel nok_," she said, softly.

(0)

_Ai ya_ – equivalent of 'damn' in Mandarin.

_Chel nok_ - very cool

_Dal shakka mel_ – I die free

_Shel kree_ – enough, stop

_Shan'krev'lar_- No direct translation. An exclamation of shock and disgust at cowardice/retreat.

_Hasshak_ - fool


	50. Chapter 50

**Missing scene – between Daniel remembering while meditating with Teal'c and the scene with Hammond in the Briefing Room.**

**(0)**

He had come into the office like a thunder storm and the words started pouring out of him in a cloudburst, drenching her in the memory. It was not so much the words that Jillian heard as he told her of watching Bra'tac and Rya'c as they were captured and the brutal conditions they were enduring. What Jillian heard most was his frustration, his confusion over his failure to act then and his determination to act now – the emotions that gave color and meaning to the memory. She sat at his desk and stared, gripping the arms of the chair until the bones in her hand showed white through her skin.

The words finally stumbled to a halt, as shut off by a valve. When he looked at her Daniel realized tears were silently streaming down her face, each one a pinprick to his heart.

"Oh my god," he whispered as he dropped to his knees in front of the desk chair and covered her hands with his own, "How many more times do I get to make you cry before you leave me?"

"_Oh god, Daniel_," she breathed, leaning forward and draping her arms around his neck, "I'm not sad, I'm not sad… I'm not."

"I've got you, I've got you," Daniel murmured so that his words overlapped hers and blended into a soothing medley of comfort.

Daniel managed with great effort to set aside his anxiety over Bra'tac and Rya'c and focus on Jillian. He set her back a little to look into her eyes. A broad thumb swiped across her cheek and caught the teardrop lingering there.

"I watched you insult a Jaffa warrior to his face and then threaten to dump a bucket of ice on him," he said, "You are one of the strongest women I've ever met. I'm not sure even Sam would do that. Five minutes in the same room with me and you're in tears."

She managed a strangled sounding laugh.

"I'm actually really …_happy_," she assured him.

"Like after we make love?" he asked, quietly.

"Yeah," she breathed, with a soft affectionate smile, "Kind of like that."

"I guess I can be okay with that, but I don't understand," he said, "You've never acted like you want me to remember anything from that time."

"This is important. We need this," she said, "This memory …. But it's not that you remembered. It's that you're going to act on it. You're going to _do_ something."

"They're in danger, how could I _not_ do something?" he asked.

"You still don't remember the last conversation we had when you were Ascended, do you?"

Daniel shook his head, mute appeal in his eyes. It was time for the words to tumble from her in a rush this time.

"I was so frustrated with you, Daniel. It seemed like all you could do was tell us all these bad and horrible things, things you could have stopped with a blink of an eye, but didn't, or couldn't, or wouldn't and none of us could understand why. You couldn't even tell us why, not in any way that made sense. What they wanted from you, what they wanted you to do, to become – it all seemed contradictory to everything you are. I couldn't understand how any of it could be appealing to you, why this was some higher existence, not if you were losing your moral center…."

"Jill! Slow down. You're starting to sound like me!" He laughed a little breathlessly, cradling the side of her face in his hand. "At least I can claim I just had twelve cups of coffee in a row to excuse it."

She took a breath, staring at him.

"Did you?"

"Maybe eight," he said. His voice was deeply self-derisive, softened by the bone-melting smile he gave her. Then he added, as realization dawned, "You were angry with me."

"I was," she admitted, "and I was….."

_Afraid of you…_

The words hung unsaid. The memory, heavy and cold, filled the air and Jillian suppressed an involuntary shiver. She didn't like to remember that time, the long days and longer nights when she saw Daniel only as a shadow in her dreams.

Then his hand was stroking her hair and she was caught in the crystal clear aquamarine of his eyes and the warm bright spirit within.

"I was worried about you," she finished, which was half of the truth at least, "I told you to choose – to be Ascended or to be with us because you couldn't keep straddling two worlds. The next time I saw you, you were alive."

Daniel took a long moment to absorb that. The hard floor on which he was kneeling finally started to annoy him enough that he stood up. He paced a little, took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"You told me to choose?"

"Yes?"

"So maybe I did," he murmured absently. "I chose to come back here, even if it was by being disobedient and getting kicked out. Right now I can't imagine being anywhere else."

"I want to believe you did," Jillian answered, choosing in that moment not to tell him he had once said the same thing to Jack about being Ascended. Daniel didn't remember anything about Jack's time in the hands of Baal and no one thought it was a good idea to tell him yet. She laid her palm against his cheek, "Orpheus," she murmured. She brushed at his hair with her fingertips, ""_I will do that which no mortal has ever done before; I will do that which even the immortals might shrink from doing: I will go down into the world of the dead, and I will come back to the living and to the light."_

"Iliad?" Daniel guessed, "or Odyssey?"

"The Argonauts Quest for the Golden Fleece," she corrected. "Part three, I think."

"Ah," he nodded

"My hero," she said, with more warmth and humor in her eyes than he felt he deserved, "who defied the gods, entered the Underworld and returned alive. Orlin chose to take human form again, because of how he felt about Sam. Is it so impossible to think you came back because of how you feel about all of us?"

"No, it's not impossible," he said, "But Jill, I _have_ to fix this. I have to be involved with the rescue of Bra'tac and Rya'c. You understand that right?"

She nodded.

"But after that I want to take you to dinner, maybe a movie, dancing? How does that sound? Just the two of us; or I can join you on 901 and maybe take some of the pressure off?"

"How about we just stay _home_?" she asked, "I can't remember when I've spent more than a few hours there."

"We can do that," he agreed, "I can borrow some candles from Teal'c. He says he really doesn't kelnoreem anymore."

"Watch the smoke detectors. They go off if you light more than three," Jillian said, drily.

She stood up and went to him, slipping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his shoulder.

"We have a very strange 'normal', don't we?" she asked, rhetorically.

When their conversation ranged from rescuing their alien friends on another planet, to his return from the dead, to the sensitivity of the smoke detectors in their quaint suburban home, Daniel could hardly argue with her. Sometimes it felt as if they were watching their lives from a distance, as something surreal.

"When Rya'c and Bra'tac are safe, I promise you an entire evening of sane, boring, normalcy. Okay?"

Jillian tilted her face up. Daniel looked down into her vivid green eyes and took in the smile tugging at her generous mouth. When they had first met, Daniel had been single mindedly focused on one goal – Sha're. His obsession had been like a haze that swathed reality, rendering everything else oddly remote.

When he had finally come out of the daze, whatever it was that Jillian's presence did to him, Daniel didn't bother to examine it too closely. It just happened and it was a miracle. It had started the first time he caught his breath at her unexpectedly dazzling smile – in the middle of arguing about whether the remains of a basilica found on PX4-1108 were early Christian or Hellenistic, an argument they still hadn't settled - and the end of it wasn't anywhere near in sight.

"I can definitely promise sane and normal, but I can also promise it won't be boring," Jillian said.

She went up on tiptoe to brush her lips against his. Daniel hesitated for a moment and then his mouth came alive over hers. It wasn't falling in love the way he remembered it from before. That had been a headlong plunge off a cliff, inevitable and in the end, just as painful. This was a slow and hesitant stroll into bliss; and for Jillian it had been just as painful for a while.

"I love you," he murmured, when he finally stopped kissing her.

Jillian pressed her forehead against his chest and felt his heart beating. She breathed with him for a moment until the rhythm of his pulse merged with her own.

"Then be careful," she whispered, turning her head to look up at him again, "Even Orpheus only got out of Tartarus once."

"If I remember the story correctly – and admittedly my memory has been a little sketchy – Orpheus stayed the second time because the woman he loved was there."

"Yes," she agreed.

"Well," Daniel said, as if it was final and there could be no question, "I must have come back, because the woman I love is _here."_

Jillian bit down on her lower lip and blinked.

"You're not going to cry again, are you?" he asked, alarmed.

"No," she said, softly, "I'm going to do this."

And she pulled his head down until their lips met again and kissed him.

(0)


	51. Chapter 51

**Sunshine and Shadow was designed to be the story of Daniel's mostly off screen romance with Jillian. But sometimes a chapter just needs to be written from another POV. This one seemed to work better between Daniel and Sam, and I really felt that he hurt her feelings in the Control Room and needed to apologize for that. I've also felt that Daniel seemed to come back from being Ascended much too easily. Again, I have nothing but admiration for the writers of Stargate SG1. But they do seem to skip over some really important emotional content; and they can't write women. Sam shouldn't always be just 'one of the guys', (and Vala was a writing disaster, but we'll get to that later.)**

**(0)**

Daniel paused in the doorway to Sam's lab. He started to knock on the doorjamb to get her attention but she was already turning with the seasoned reflexes of a combat veteran.

"Daniel," she said, relieved and pleased. Affection sparkled in her eyes and in her smile.

He hovered there for a moment in uncharacteristic stillness and then said, "I'm sorry."

"For?"

He took a few hesitant steps into the room and then stopped again.

"Jillian told me that something I said made you sad and I didn't mean it that way. I didn't mean I don't want to be here with all of you. I do. I'm just now realizing how much I really do want this, how important you all are to me. I'm really sorry…."

"Daniel," Sam cut him off. He watched the flash of emotion in her eyes and the sudden frailness on her face. He let the silence play out for a moment, binding them again.

"I know," Sam went on finally, "When I thought about it later, it occurred to me that you were just being you; that you would want to be where you could do the most good even if it wasn't where you wanted to be. You're one of the most selfless people I know."

Daniel looked down, uneasy with the compliment.

"I don't know, Sam," he said, "But I do know I was an idiot and I should have thought about what I was saying. I'd never hurt your feelings on purpose, you know that right?"

"Of course."

"Friends?" He asked, uncertainly.

"Team mates," Sam assured him.

"Good," Daniel said, with a lop-sided grin, "Because I remember enough to know that it isn't good to go into a combat situation if one of your team mates is pissed off at you."

"I was never mad at you, Daniel," she assured him.

Daniel finally walked into the room and perched uneasily on one of the stools at the table.

"Jack was," Daniel said and she heard the tightness in his voice, the disquiet. "I'm not sure he is any more, but he was."

"Daniel, if the Colonel was mad at you, you'd still be in a tent on Vis Urban."

"Well something was going on," Daniel said, even as he acknowledged the truth of what Sam had said, "but I couldn't get him to talk about it."

"I'm shocked," Sam said, drily. "What makes you think something was going on?"

"Why did he keep hauling me out to the firing range?' Daniel demanded with sudden vehemence, "He knows I hate it. But it was like he didn't trust me to be able to cover all of you anymore," Daniel said, "and while all of you were doing something else _I_ got put through boot camp again – complete with yelling. Why didn't he think I was ready?"

Sam was gazing at him with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

"You don't get it do you?" she asked.

Daniel broke off immediately and came alert. His eyes lost focus for a moment as he tried to figure out what Sam was saying. He looked at her again, blank and resigned. With an expression that clearly said 'okay what did I miss this time' he said out loud,

"What?"

"You weren't the one who wasn't ready, Daniel. None of us thought that," Sam said, "It was _us_. None of us wanted to take you back out into the field. None of us wanted to lose you again."

"I'm not that helpless!" Daniel protested.

"It's not about being helpless!" Sam answered, "Daniel, the first time out again we almost lost you; not to Anubis, not even when Anubis took off into hyperspace with you. That kind of falls under the category of the risks we all take. But on Kelowna, when you threw yourself in front of a staff weapon to get to that crystal, with no consideration at all for your own safety …. That was too close to what happened before. You stopped three hearts for a second there, you know that?"

Daniel stared at her.

"If that's the problem, then that's _going_ to be a problem, Sam," Daniel answered, "I can't change my basic instincts."

"I think you're going to have to try," Sam said, "If not for us, if not for the members of SG1, then for Jillian."

Daniel flinched as if she's struck him but Sam went on anyway,

"Teal'c stalked her like a hen with one chick trying to help. He tried so hard to watch over her the way you asked him to. I thought helping her make the memorial for you, at the house, even going to Abydos, might help. But it didn't. Do you know what she said when we were picking the things to take to Abydos?"

Daniel shook his head, wondering how he would know something like that. But he needed to know now. He needed to share Jillian's pain somehow.

"She asked me how she was supposed to choose the things that would represent the loss of her own heart."

Daniel swore softly under his breath.

"I just told you that you're one of the most selfless people I know, but I'm not sure you can be anymore, "Sam said pleadingly, "It's not just you now. You're part of something much bigger than one person, much bigger than any of us. Without you we aren't whole. That's a lesson we learned the hard way. I know we're all at risk just because of what we do. But you need to think first now….. Look, we're going to go to Erebus and put ourselves in harm's way because that's where our friends are and it's what we do. Jillian's going to go back to 901 because that's where she's needed. But don't think she isn't terrified, no matter how much she smiles at you and says she'll be here when you get back. It's going to take all of us a long time to get over, Daniel, even if we don't show it."

"So does this mean I have to watch out for stunts like Jonas pulled on Kelowna? Are all of you going to be risking _your_ lives to push me out of the way?"

Sam shrugged, "We always did that. We just need you to _think_ before you act."

"I'm not trying to get myself killed again, Sam," Daniel said, a little defensively.

"I know. I don't mean to lecture you," Sam said, "We're just all scared you're going to take off again, on some other quest."

"I'm not," his voice was unintentionally thorny.

Sam looked at him and saw the rigid set to his back and the lines at the corners of his eyes growing sharper. Any second now, he'd brace his feet and cross his arms against his chest and retreat behind the massive doors of 'Fort Jackson.' Was the idea of being loved really too much for him? Instinctively she took a few steps towards him.

"I'm not blaming you for any of this, Daniel," she said, quietly, "We can't help how this scarred us all emotionally."

Daniel forced himself to relax. It wasn't Sam's fault that she wanted the same thing Jillian did – to be free of the specter of his death and Ascension.

And Daniel couldn't blame them for the way they felt; not when he felt the same way about all of them.

He tried to imagine letting any of them go, the way they had been forced to with him and he suddenly knew that if he lost them he would die. Maybe not right away, not in a merciful, blinding flash of pain, but slowly and horribly as every day without them took another piece of his heart. He understood then – Jack's abrasive need to retrain him, Sam's hurt over thinking he wanted to leave them again, the haunted shadow that still crossed Jillian's eyes at times, even Teal'c's odd restraint and distance.

But there was little joy in the realization. Love had been so simple once, so innocent and easy.

Daniel crossed the remaining distance and swept Sam into a bear hug that lifted her off the ground.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"I know," she said, hugging him tight around his neck. "You already said that."

Daniel let go, set her carefully back on her feet. He glanced at his watched and sighed, heavily.

"I've got less than fifteen minutes before the first chevron locks and Jillian has to leave," he said.

"Go," Sam smiled gently.

"Thanks," he said gratefully.

He had made it almost to the door when Sam said,

"Daniel"

"What?" he asked, turning.

"When you tell her good-bye, hold her like you'll never let her go. Okay?"

Daniel nodded.

"I will," he promised.

(0)


	52. Chapter 52

**Finally done with Orpheus and ready to move on. The time line in each season of Stargate is always hard to determine – especially since every time they are outside the weather is perfect. So in ****Fragile Balance****, they track down Jack 2.0 and they're all wearing jackets. I'm guessing that would make it late fall in Colorado Springs (or any given day of the year in Vancouver, but I digress…) Since the very next thing that happens to Daniel that Jillian will have to deal with is ****Lifeboat****, I decided to give them a break of a few months and write a couple of light romantic moments through the winter of 2003. This is one of them, right around Christmas. Inspired by Michael's performance in the movie ****Under the Mistletoe**** and with another nod of gratitude to him for creating Daniel Jackson.**

**There actually is a Quail Lake in Colorado Springs, whether it ever freezes enough for skating I don't know. Apparently it does in the Daniel/Jillian 'Verse.**

**(0)**

Snow crunched and Jillian looked up to find Daniel walking towards her, carrying a box with a large green bow tied on top. Light from the bonfire flared across the planes of his face, shadowing the sharp angles of his cheekbones and jaw, hooding his eyes and turning ash blond hair to gilt. Jillian's heart somersaulted in slow motion.

She had been waiting for him on a bench, watching the couples and families and kids skating on the ice-solid Quail Lake – with no small sense of trepidation.

She stood up when he reached her and they touched lips with hesitant affection. It was cold!

"You want to tell me why you wanted to meet here?" she asked. Her eyes traveled the length of his heavily covered body until she saw the skates on his feet, which he was walking in as casually as most people walked in sandals, and explained why he had suddenly seemed so much taller than her.

"How often do we get the chance to skate on an actual pond? They freeze and get covered by snow all in the same hour," Daniel answered.

He handed her the box.

"What's this?"

"Early Christmas. Just open it."

Which she did, to find a pair of light blue ice skates in her size.

"Daniel," she said, slowly, "I told I don't know how to skate."

"Not at _all?"_ He sounded skeptical.

Jillian shrugged. Once, as a teenager, she had been at a frozen pond with a group of friends from school and a boy from the class ahead of hers had assisted her in a sedate round of skating. But later he had wanted something more from her that she hadn't been willing to give and she had never skated again.

He waved her back towards the bench and made her sit with the sheer force of his presence, towering over her with the help of an extra three inches of blade. He dropped not-quite to one knee, unwilling to sink all the way down on the cold ground, and grasped her left boot in his hand. Not even tempted to pull away, Jillian stared at his bent head and watched the firelight in his hair. He held her foot on his thigh, his fingers wrapped around her ankle.

Jillian swallowed a rush of sensual awareness.

"I think I can put them on myself," she said.

"No, it's an art," Daniel assured her, "they've got to be laced just right."

"Oh really?" Jillian laughed a little and tried to ignore the way he was rubbing her calf muscle, "Come on, Jackson, my foot is getting cold."

The boot went on as if it had been custom made for her. Daniel changed to a crouch and took the blade between his legs to steady it. Jillian lifted an eyebrow and he grinned at her.

"Okay," he said, "First, you don't want them too tight over your arch. That can cause pressure and cut off your circulation." Deft fingers slipped laces through eyelets and around hooks as if he did this every day, with gloves on no less. "So this should feel like your sneakers." He kept going, from her toe to her ankle. "How's that?"

He looked up and Jillian was too breathlessly caught in his eyes to answer.

"Jill?"

"It's fine," she managed.

"These last four are the ones you want really tight, but tell me when it's too much."

When he was done, he supported the back of her leg in the palm of his hand for a moment. Jillian thought she could feel the heat of it through his glove, her ski pants and the pair of Air Force issue thermals she had on under them.

He met her gaze again, smiling.

"How's that feel?"

"Like an instrument of torture," she answered, "You really expect me to be able to stand up on these? Much less propel myself across the ice?"

Daniel sat back on his haunches. "Well, if you think you can't…."

He reached out as if he would untie the skate and she pulled her foot away.

"I didn't say that," she said.

Daniel's smile turned triumphant.

"Damn it, Jackson," she muttered. He knew she wouldn't back down from a challenge.

He held out his hand and she gave him her right foot. He expertly laced her into it and then stowed her boots in the box and tucked them into a shadow under the bench. Smoothly, he stood up.

"Come on," he urged.

"Oh my god," she groaned.

Grasping both of his arms she awkwardly hauled herself up, leaned on his strength and managed to walk out onto the ice.

"See? If you can walk you can skate," he said. "One foot, then the other."

Her feet suddenly went in two different directions and she grabbed frantically for his jacket. His arm went around her waist, catching her. Jillian clung to him with her feet disobeying her every command and punched him hard in the chest when he started to laugh.

"Ow!" he said, but it didn't stop him from chuckling.

"Oh my god," she repeated, "You know we could be home in front of a fire with a nice chilled bottle of white wine; or hot chocolate maybe, with the little marshmallows that you like?"

"Think how good that will be after being out in the cold for a while," he said.

"You're the one who hates being cold! EEK!" The hopelessly girlie scream left her as her left leg skidded sideways and she was forced to clutch another handful of his jacket sleeve.

A family skated past them and someone laughed. Jillian glared at Daniel, who was holding onto his mirth with an iron will lest she punch him again.

"So if we move around we won't be cold," he said, with all the logic of a scientist.

"I swear, Jackson, if I break an ankle, my team will never let me hear the end of it and I will make your life a living hell," she grumbled.

"You're not going to break anything," he said, moving into position so that they were side by side, hip to hip, thigh to thigh. The contact made her pulse race.

"What if I said I'd wear the new camisole set I picked up at Victoria's Secret when I was shopping with Sam last week? Then could we go home?"

Daniel paused and seemed to consider it.

"What color is it?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her in the firelight.

In a tempting whisper Jillian said, "What color do you want it to be?"

Daniel looked at her and his eyes danced for a moment before he threw his head back and laughed. He moved easily on his skates to slide around to her side, gathering her close against him. The muscles of his left arm flexed at her waist and he took her right hand in his.

"Come on," he said, nuzzling against her ear, his breath warm, "Just for a little bit, just to work out some of the stiffness in the new skates. Tell me if they start to hurt."

Jillian tried to match him, stride for stride, knowing he was deliberately going slowly. Her leg was close to his and she could feel the strength in his thigh muscles. He skated steadily, keeping her close while she found a rhythm and a connection to the ice.

Quail Lake was huge, with no end in sight but Jillian knew they couldn't keep going straight forever.

"Daniel," she said, cautiously, as the light from the bonfire was left behind them.

"Let's turn around, to the right, stay with me."

She scrambled to keep up. The skates slid, her legs flailed but he kept hold of her and didn't let her fall and she tried to ignore his amused laugh.

They skated over the velvet grey ice. It made scratchy little noises under their blades and left little trails. Jillian realized it was starting to snow, dusting the air with tiny diamonds. Daniel was right, by morning the lake would be too covered with snow to skate on.

A group of young people had started a sing-a-long by the bonfire. Voices, laughter and guitar music drifted on the cold breeze. Daniel and Jillian were surrounded by others and yet they were encased in their own tiny universe, a wintery fairyland where everything was happening around them but not to them.

It was a kind of enchantment, Jillian thought, gliding through the frost-bound evening like a sailboat on the sea, her body synced to Daniel's and experiencing a different kind of rhythm and pleasure than the one they usually shared. Her back fit into the curve of his arm. Her palm rested in his, her fingers tight. She was getting warmer now, blood flowing from the exertion and tingling with awareness of the man by her side.

"You're a natural," he whispered into her ear.

"I'm under a spell," she answered, "You've got me bewitched or I would have fallen long ago."

"I'd never let you fall," he promised.

His arm slipped from her waist and, without breaking stride, his hand slid down her arm to grasp hers, palm to palm through their gloves. Jillian's eyes flew open for a moment and she wobbled a bit and then stayed with him.

"It's just like dancing," Daniel said, "Just balance and harmony."

"And you," she added.

She skimmed along next to him for a while, holding hands while the space between them grew by centimeters and then inches; and suddenly she was laughing too, caught in a kind of magic euphoria. Abruptly, Daniel accelerated and spun around in front of her. Unable to stop, Jillian crashed into him, inhaling sharp cold air. She half expected to fall but ran only into his solid frame, tall and strong. His arms wrapped around her and passion for him flooded her senses. Daniel leaned forward and whispered her name. His mouth founds hers, lips chilled but she found warmth inside when she surrendered willingly. Pure, carefree happiness burst inside her as she kissed him madly and knew the scent and power and brilliance of his body. He held her, bent slightly back over his arm and kissed her in an explosion of desire both warm and tender.

When they finally parted, breath misting between them, Jillian whispered,

"It's red."

"What?" he asked, forehead furrowing.

"The new camisole set," she explained, rubbing noses with him, "It's Christmas red; _my _early present."

The moon broke through the snow-laden clouds for a moment and cast just enough light for her to see the flare of longing that crossed his face.

"Let's go home," he said, bedroom eyes locked with hers.

Jillian put a hand on his chest to steady her pulse and breathing and her feet on the crisp ice beneath them. When she had her balance, she turned with newfound grace and skill. Pushing off as if she had been doing it all her life she said,

"Race you."

Daniel's laughter chased after her until he caught up, with very little effort on his part. He caught her around the waist again and she mimicked the gesture, sliding her arm behind his back and tucking her hand into the pocket of his jacket.

"Does it have lace?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

"You'll see," she answered.

(0)


	53. Chapter 53

**Picks up just after the end of the last chapter. Still filling up time between Revisions and Lifeboat, relationship building, no-plot romance**

They made two separate stops on their way home, since they were driving different vehicles. Jillian stopped and got an extra-large pizza with all Daniel's favorite toppings on most of it and a little bit of Canadian bacon on the rest for her. Daniel stopped and picked up a bottle of Chianti to go with it.

By the time he got home with the wine, Jillian had the breakfast bar set with plates, napkins, pizza and candles. She had changed into sweatpants and a sweatshirt that said 'Archaeology Dept' over an oval with the letters XXL in it. She smiled at him uncertainly.

"Is this all right?"

The shy-scared look in her eyes confused him. He went to her, laid his palm against the side of her face.

"It's perfect."

He kissed her forehead, gave her the bottle of wine to open and, with a final reassuring smile, went to change. He returned in similar sweats except that his were all Air Force issued. He was carrying his laptop.

"I _have_ to show you what we found on 657," he said, perching on a bar stool and reaching for a slice of pizza full of toppings.

Jillian filled two glasses with Chianti and leaned over to look at the screen after he had called up the file he wanted.

"What is that?" she asked.

"Well, at its most basic, it's a gigantic slab of rock," Daniel answered, with a wry smile, "about twenty feet high, three feet thick, at least what's sticking out of the ground and about ten feet across."

"The edges are completely clean," Jillian said.

"Yes, it was cut, precision cut," Daniel agreed, "But that's not the most interesting thing about it." He jumped through some more photos until he got to the close ups. "It appears to be a map of the entire planet. Look – continents, oceans, polar ice caps. You know more about oceans than I do. Couldn't these lines be currents?"

"Or wind directions across land," Jillian said, "It's impossible to know from this. Which of these shapes are the land and which are the seas? The lines go off the edge of the slab. Did you find more than one of these?"

"No," he answered, "But I noticed that too."

"These markings have to be writing. Can you read this?"

He shook his head, eating absent-mindedly, eyes fixed on the screen. "Not without some kind of Rosetta Stone to tell me where to begin. It's hieroglyphic and I think logo-syllabic. Some of the symbols repeat in a single inscription and then there are breaks. Does it look familiar to you?"

Jillian watched him closely. He was glowing from the inside, oblivious to everything around him. She missed him when they were apart. She missed his smile and the way it would tease at the corners of his mouth for a little while. She missed his laughter and his brightness. She missed his arms around her and the way he was patient with her when she wanted to cuddle for just five more minutes after the alarm went off in the morning. She wanted to see him again seconds after they were separated.

But mostly she missed _this -_his intellect, his astonishing curiosity, his burning intensity, especially when it was caught by an enigma. The symbols and shapes on the stone were hovering just beyond his ability to distill them into meaning – _not _a challenge he would take lightly.

"It does," she answered, "But it won't make you happy."

Daniel speared her with a look that said he was way ahead of her, which she didn't find surprising. He looked at her, chewed and swallowed and then said shortly, "It already doesn't. Are you going to say what I think you are?"

"Follow it from right to left and tell me that doesn't look like the Indus script."

Jillian sat back and sipped from her wine glass while Daniel sighed heavily and looked back at the computer as if it was a beloved pet that had turned on him.

"Damn," he murmured. He traced some of the lines on the screen. "That's exactly what I thought. Look at this section….and here again….yeah… There are very slight variations but the resemblance is there; though this looks to have about three hundred characters in total."

"The Indus script has twice as many," Jillian observed.

Daniel pushed the laptop back across the counter, stopped his glasses from sliding further down his nose and sighed.

"Twice as many still won't help without a frame of reference that _isn't_ another indecipherable language. We can't even tell direction from this."

"In most cultures, the top is north," Jillian pointed out. She swirled the Chianti in her glass thoughtfully and took a few more bites of her pizza.

"We found it lying on the ground. Usually I could figure it out from the direction of the glyphs, but now we aren't even sure about that," Daniel finished his pizza and started on another piece.

"What are we using to date this?" Jillian asked, "Is there anything else in the immediate vicinity? Pottery? Ruins?"

"Not really. Even geological strata is only going to help if I can talk someone into letting us excavate around it _and_ we find something that can be dated accurately."

"Finding the tool that carved it would be completely awesome," Jillian said. "What about using thermoluminescence dating on the soil below?"

"That will only tell us how long it's been lying there; and I'm not sure anyone is going to really care enough about this to fund any more research on it," Daniel sighed again and started flipping through more pictures.

Jillian put a sympathetic hand on his arm and studied him. Light and shadow caressed his cheek, creating a stunning purity of profile. Acute concentration furrowed his forehead and pulled his heavy brows together, whispering to her that he was in the process of not just thinking outside the box, but ripping the box to shreds and tossing it out the window. Four years into their relationship and he stilled made her heart stutter and left her breathless.

She pulled her attention back to her pizza. Daniel hardly ever noticed what she ate, but when he did, it was to complain that she didn't eat enough to keep a bird alive.

"The Indus script _is _a place to start," she said, "If we manage to decipher them both, we can publish an actual paper."

Daniel turned and brushed his fingers against her hand, linked their fingers and squeezed in a quick heart-melting gesture.

"And say what? We got the clues from a planet 490 million light years from earth? One that I walked to?"

"We can cross that bridge when we get to it," she said, brushing a crumb away from the corner of his mouth and then leaning in to kiss the same spot. "Does this mean you aren't coming back to 901 with me? You're going to want to go back to study this?"

"No, I promised you," he said, "Besides, I missed you like hell."

"And we're still going to pick out new tile for the guest bathroom?" she asked, hopefully.

"If you want," he squeezed her hand, let go and reached for more pizza. Jillian wondered if he realized how much he had already eaten. "It seems so normal, how can I say no? While we're out maybe we should get some furniture for the guest room? Your Ambassador father isn't going to appreciate sleeping on that air mattress if he comes to visit."

"I wanted to go to Ikea for furniture," Jillian reminded him.

"It's in Denver!"

"It's not like that's the other side of the world," she said, "We could go for a few days, see the national park, take the bikes and explore _our_ planet for a change."

"You still want normal, don't you?" he asked.

"I just want time with you," she said, "The last few months have been so hectic. I feel like I hardly see you and it's not like we can even text each other across light years."

"So we'll pick out tile, go to Denver for a few days and pick out furniture and then travel light years away to a distant planet to study the sunken ruin of a Goa'uld city," Daniel said, "and that _is_ our normal."

"As long as we're together," she said, leaning in for another kiss, "Why don't we move this into the bedroom? I'll change and you can start a fire?"

"Sounds like a plan," he said, "Do you want me to change too? Into my gray suit maybe?"

Jillian laughed. She was remembering more and more what it felt like to look into eyes like the summer sky and laugh. "No. You can wear that when you take me out to dinner tomorrow night."

"Oh, we're going out to dinner too?" Daniel was starting to laugh now too. There was happiness sparking in her eyes and he was privileged to witness it. He could sense the evening filling up with joy.

"I've had reservations for two weeks."

She jumped off the bar stool and starting cleaning up. Daniel helped, then gathered the wine glasses and the bottle and followed her willingly into the bedroom. They started a fire and tossed some pillows on the floor in front of it.

Then Jillian gave him one of her stunning smiles, the kind that flooded him with warmth and made him wonder what he had ever done to deserve her. She was easy and elegant. Communication was effortless. He never found her staring at him blankly while he frantically tried to retrace his steps in the conversation to find where he had left the other person.

She stood and he knew she was going to go change into that 'Christmas present.'

"Jill," Daniel caught her hand between his fingertips and thumb just before she moved out of reach. He was warm and holding her tight enough that she could feel his pulse.

She tilted her head, eyebrows knitting, looking back at him from the depths of her incredible green eyes and he was lost in the heart of a sun-dappled forest with warm breezes teasing his skin.

"I know you're going to come back out here wearing something… breathtaking," he said, then his voice dropped to a low timbre, resonating with wistful tenderness, "But I'm not in any rush tonight. I just want to be with you."

Jillian visibly melted and smiled at him like a woman in love, the smile that she gave no one else. It was his and his alone. Daniel's heart beat heavily and his body prepared to rebel against his desire for a quiet evening and slow, gentle intimacy. He found he was breathing hard from the sudden impact.

_Three weeks, _his body reminded him, _you haven't seen her in THREE solid weeks._

_Shut up,_ he replied, _I haven't TALKED to her in all that time either. _"Then be comfy when I get back," she said. "Light some candles."

"And watch the smoke alarms," he said.

Her eyes danced, full of unmistakable delight just before she turned away from him. Daniel watched her go and anticipated the night - to revel in argument and agreement and laughter and conjecture about the wonders they had seen and found, to hold her by the fire and never let go.

To kiss her until she was breathless and then make love until she slept, at last, safely in his arms.

(0)


	54. Chapter 54

**Lifeboat – a single episode that won't take as long to survive as the entirety of Season 6, at least. Missing scenes, mostly how Jill deals with this, some Jill-Janet & Jack-Jill bonding. (Yes, I realized later that I made them Jack and Jill, but some characters name themselves. They are simply 'born' with their names and Jillian was one of those for me.) Lifeboat always struck me as a team-bonding episode. Watch the scenes of Teal'c refusing to leave the observation room, Jack's rebellion against the 'medical personnel only rule' and his confrontation with Martice, Sam working on a solution and refusing to give up Daniel, the lovely 'nail in the forehead' moment between Jack and Daniel at the end. So, with that in mind, I really didn't want Jillian interfering with them and yet it's too much of a cop out to simply leave her off world until it's over. It begins just before Janet returns to talk to Martice (after Martice refers to her as the 'small woman', which always makes me laugh.)**

**(0)**

"What do you recommend, Doctor?" Hammond asked.

"I think someone needs to go get Jillian, sir," Janet said.

Teal'c turned his head slowly, as if trying to keep an eye on Daniel Jackson and look at Dr. Fraiser at the same time. It was not the response that either Teal'c or Hammond had expected.

"Your reasons?" Hammond asked.

"Sir, we need to know if Daniel still exists. I'm not sure he'll try to talk to any of us, but I know he'd try to reach out to her."

"I would be reluctant to subject Jillian to this until we have more information," Teal'c spoke up sharply.

He had no real say in the matter and he knew it.

"She's stronger than you think, Teal'c," Janet answered, but not unkindly. She was well aware that this was not the first time Teal'c would find himself caught between his two friends – between Jillian's need to know and Daniel's desire to keep her from being hurt again, "But you and I both know she never really forgave Daniel for not letting her say good-bye to him after the incident on Kelowna. Jillian will want to know and if we try to keep this from her, we're both going to get raked over the coals when she finds out."

Teal'c remained silent but his regard was just short of hostile. He exhaled in a way that sounded a bit growly and said clearly '_And Daniel Jackson will be angry that we told her_.' The stare between them held for a long time before Janet looked back at Hammond. It was really his decision.

"Ultimately, General," she said, "Daniel is my patient and it is my strong opinion that if we're going to find out if he's still in there, our best chance is Jillian."

"You think he'll find a way to come out in order to reassure her," Hammond surmised.

"Yes,sir."

Hammond considered it. It made sense. Daniel had become 'military' enough to continue hiding from his own team, but not from Jillian. Their relationship was different.

Finally Hammond said, "I'll send someone for her, unless you want to go, Teal'c?"

The Jaffa's expression bore a world of conflict for a moment; but he finally answered, "I will stay with Daniel Jackson."

Hammond nodded. Somehow he wasn't surprised by the decision.

(0)

**(At some point before Keenin emerges)**

Janet watched Jillian carefully. She was staring at the TV screen, at the frozen image of Daniel and Janet could tell she was balancing perilously on the edge of shock. Her knees gave out and she sat down, hard, in the nearest chair.

"So he's been walking around, talking, ranting, throwing things but it hasn't been Daniel?"

"No," Janet said, "What you just saw is the only glimpse we've had of Daniel."

Jillian put her elbows on her knees and hid her face in her hands.

"My god, Janet," she said.

Janet put her fingers on Jillian's shoulder in a gesture she hoped would comfort.

"I know," she said.

Jillian sat up abruptly, determination in her eyes even she still also looked like someone was picking at her heart bare-handed.

"I want to see him."

"Jillian…."

"Janet! I want to see him!"

Janet rolled a chair over and sat down in front of her.

"Look, sweetheart, I know you do; and I have to be honest and admit that's exactly why I wanted you to come back here in the first place. That's why we sent for you. We were hoping that Daniel would make his presence known if he saw you."

"Okay," Jillian said, "So why isn't that still a plan? He'll talk to me, Janet, I know he will."

She was pleading, almost desperate.

"Because now we've made contact with Daniel. We know he's there and I think he's hiding, trying to protect himself. Jillian, I know this won't be easy for you to hear but the _worst_ thing that can happen right now is for Daniel to risk coming forward again. Some of the personalities we've talked to are already on the edge of sanity."

Jillian was staring at Janet in undisguised horror.

"_For god's sake, Janet_," her voice was winter chilled. "Why do things like this keep happening to him?"

"Oh he's pretty high maintenance. I'll give you that," Janet answered. Her small smile and the compassion in her eyes were meant to comfort.

"You have no idea, "Jillian sighed.

She squeezed Jillian's shoulder, "You can watch him from the Observation Room., but I am warning you that it might not be easy."

"Who is with him now?" Jillian asked.

"Col. O'Neill, as far as I know."

"Okay," Jillian stood up and Janet was drawn to her feet in the same movement.

"Jillian, we're going to get him back," Janet said.

She was using the no-nonsense, unleash the hounds, and take no prisoners voice that everyone at the SGC had come to appreciate.

"Janet," Jillian began, and couldn't quite keep the tremor from her voice or the fear out of her eyes; nor could she continue.

Janet just nodded. Jillian drew a long shaky sigh. In the midst of crisis, the great relief and comfort of friendship was that nothing needed to be explained.

(0)

_Where's my father?_

"Oh my god," Jillian whispered, "That's a child."

Jack shot her a single glance and then riveted his eyes once more on Daniel.

"You going to be okay?" he asked gruffly.

"No," she said, "Jack, there's a _child_ trapped in there too."

"Yeah," the pain in his voice tore at her.

But he didn't stop watching Daniel, as if he could give him support through the weight of his stare alone.

_What's the last thing you remember?_

_My father._

Jillian whimpered before she could stop it. She had arms folded over her waist, tight. Jack wondered if she knew that she did the same kind of 'self-hug' that Daniel did and, though hers was less hostile, it was no less defensive. The color had left her face long ago. Tears of pain and frustration clung to her lashes but she hadn't let them fall. The eyes that had bored into his earlier were haunted and in pain and full of grieving that tore at him because he knew the cause.

He wanted to help her, but she was going to have to wait.

Jillian sat in quiet agony and listened to a child explains the death of his world, his mother and the life he had known. She looked occasionally at Jack and, even in her distress she could see the shrewdness in his eyes. She knew that Jack would realign the planets if that was what it took to save Daniel; and with a sudden jolt she realized that he had wrestled all emotion into a vault somewhere in his soul so that he could concentrate on taking in every bit of information.

Jack wasn't just sitting vigil with a member of his team. Jack was on a scouting mission for Intel. It explained why he had barely acknowledged her presence since she had come in the room. Even if he had to quell his natural inclination to protect children – in any form – he would pull in any and every scrap of knowledge he could gain and use it in whatever way was necessary to get Daniel back.

It was the reason she trusted Jack with Daniel's life. The military was his entire life now and his team the total of his family. He would do _anything_ to protect them, even it meant a descent into the darkest recess of his soul. She had just never seen it so clearly before. Jillian wanted to thank him but suddenly realized how important it was for her to remain silent and let Jack O'Neill's Black Ops training work.

Her attention was seized again when Daniel's multiple personality disorder abruptly shifted and he began snarling at Janet.

_Now, what have you done to resolve this?_

Jillian was horrified all over again. How could anyone that arrogant and egomanical be sharing the same space with _Daniel?_

_Listen, you don't understand the seriousness of your condition._

'Daniel' surged toward Janet, raising his hand. Beside her, Jillian could feel Jack come to instant attention. Personnel restrictions or not, Daniel's body or not, Jack would go through the two-way mirror to protect Janet if he had to.

_AND YOU STILL DO NOT REALIZE WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO!_

Janet came back at him, teeth and claws unleashed.

_I don't give a damn! You don't belong in that man's body and I intend to take it back!_

A sob tore itself loose from Jillian. She leapt to her feet so suddenly her chair crashed to the floor. She couldn't watch any more. _God,_ as much as she loved Daniel it was just too much. Intending to run from the room she ran instead into a solid wall, warm and steady, unshakable as if he was rooted to the earth. Jillian pushed against his chest with all her strength but Jack O'Neill's arms wrapped around her tight and held her until she stopped trying to run.

"_Jack_." It was a single syllable gasp of agony, a plea for help.

"I know," Jack said, quietly, "He's a pain in the ass, but we'll get him back."

Jillian's breath caught between a relieved sigh and a sob. Jack rocked her a little.

"We won't lose him again, Jillian" Jack swore, "Not like this."

(0)

This time she didn't wait for the Gate to shut down, or even for them to get to the bottom. This time she ran up the ramp and flung her arms around Daniel's neck, heedless of the fact that he was being supported by Jack on one side and Teal'c on the other. He looked like he could fall asleep standing.

"_Daniel."_

She was vaguely aware that Daniel let go of Teal'c and slipped his arm around her waist. His strength was gone. She could feel it in the way he leaned against her, hid his face against her shoulder. His arm was limp over her hips now. Jillian felt a blur of emotions, relief and exhilaration collided, and she could do little but cling to him and murmur his name over and over. She held him tight and felt his breath warm against her neck, felt him shaking with fatigue and memory.

A surge of dizziness almost took Daniel to his knees. He crumbled against her. She tried to counterbalance him but he was too heavy for her to hold. Teal'c grabbed him again and helped disentangle them.

"He's gotta rest, Jillian," Jack said.

"Not in the infirmary," Daniel muttered.

"Yes in the infirmary," Janet said and no one would have argued with her in any circumstances.

Daniel groaned as Jack and Teal'c dragged him down the ramp, barely able to keep his feet under him.

Jillian moved aside to let them pass. Sam paused next to her.

"He's going to be fine," Sam said.

"I know," Jillian said, hugging her, "Thank you."

"Hey," Sam grinned, "No charge."

(0)


	55. Chapter 55

**A long time in a galaxy… well, actually right in this galaxy Daniel Jackson promised Jillian North that he would take her to P3X-888 and introduce her to the Unas. (Unas was the name of the last king of the fifth dynasty of Egypt, btw. His pyramid texts make the first reference to Osiris and Anubis. I just find that interesting.)**

**To bring some closure to that storyline I've written her into Enemy Mine. This begins immediately following Daniel interrupting the meeting between Hammond, Edwards and Vidrine.**

**(0)**

Between all her responsibilities on 901 and now the enigma of the stone map from 657, Jillian already had more than enough to keep her busy. Daniel was reluctant to pull her away from either project, but he needed her.

He paused in the doorway to the lab and just watched her for a second. She was sitting on a tall stool at the table, making notes on a yellow notepad. Her reading glasses were sliding down her lovely nose and her eyebrows were knitted in concentration.

_She looks happy, _Daniel thought and, briefly, he forgot about everything else.

She finally looked up at him, pushed her glasses up on top of her head and let her nose wrinkle in a frown.

"You just going to stand there, or are you going to come in here and kiss me?" she asked.

It wasn't a request he could refuse. He walked across the room, leaned over and accepted her clean, bright, loving kiss. Her fingertips brushed his jaw for a moment as he did.

"Did you know that a kiss from you can drive the thoughts right out of my head?" he asked.

Jillian laughed and kissed him again and all he could feel was the smile still lingering on her lips.

Then he brought an apple from behind his back and offered it to her. Jillian eyed it for a moment.

"You want something?"

"Yes."

"And an apple was the best bribe you could come up with?"

"Best I could do on short notice. Strawberries aren't in season."

Jillian took the apple but put it on the table next to her.

"Next time try chocolate cake," she advised.

"I need your help," he said.

"You crashed the meeting didn't you?"

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

"Not for a moment, not if you think you can avoid bloodshed, not even if it means you're about to do something terrifying."

Blue eyes looked away and stared resolutely at the opposite wall.

"You _are _going to do something terrifying, aren't you?" she asked.

"Well…maybe…. A little…dangerous," he admitted, looking back at her from over the top of his glasses. "Not necessarily terrifying."

Jillian have him back a level gaze.

"So what are we going to do?"

"I'm going to get Chaka."

Jillian's eyebrows went up but she remained silent as he rushed on.

"I want you to brief the people under Edward's command about the Unas. They need as much information as possible and you're the only one who knows as much as I do," Daniel stopped for a moment and then gave a self-deprecating little shrug, "Besides, you're prettier than I am and they might listen to you."

"Flattery _and_ bribery."

"Whatever works."

"Who am I going to be talking to?"

"Mostly Army Corp of Engineers and geologists from the SGC, some miners, under the command of Edwards and his SG team."

Jillian stared for a moment and then said, "_Edwards_? Ai _ya, _Jackson, are you mad at me?"

"No, I just really need you – for everything you know about the Unas, your relationship with Chaka and…"

Daniel trailed off reluctantly, but Jillian wouldn't let it go.

"And?"

"And a kind of sexist reason."

"You're the least sexist person I have ever known in my life."

"Well, it's more anthropological than sexist, I guess. I'm hoping that all these macho military types will back down a little bit when they see that you aren't afraid of the Unas."

"Who said I wasn't afraid?"

"You're not afraid of Chaka or his clan."

"I _know_ Chaka and his clan. We're accepted as friends, practically clan members. I don't know the Unas on 403 and they've already killed someone."

"You don't have to go to the planet if you don't want, though I think it would help."

"Of course I'll go, "she said, "I can't convince them the Unas are reachable if I safely brief them here on the base and then wave goodbye from the shore." She paused and smiled, "Besides I trust you, and I trust Chaka. You're not going to let this go wrong."

"It's true that Chaka is pretty fond of you," he paused, and his expression became misty and decidedly love struck, "and I am too."

"When do you want me to do this briefing?"

Daniel glanced at his watch. "In fifteen minutes?" he said

Jillian stared at him.

"_Daniel!"_ she cried, jumping to her feet.

"And I have to go in less than five, to get Chaka."

Quickly stacking papers and discs so that she could find what she wanted later, Jillian muttered under her breath,

"Hún zhang wángbā dàn."

Daniel grinned a little. Mandarin profanity was just so much more colorful than English.

"Wǒ děi zǒu le," he said, softly.

Jillian looked up and held his eyes for a moment. Then she ran lightly across the room and flung her arms around his neck.

"Yílù píngān," she murmured.

"Wǒ ài nǐ."

"Wǒ yě ài nǐ."

(0)

Ai ya - damn

Hún zhang wángbā dàn – literally 'firmly held turtle eggs' and that's the only translation I can give it in polite society

Wǒ děi zǒu le – I have to leave

Yílù píngān – have a safe trip

Wǒ ài nǐ – I love you

Wǒ yě ài nǐ – I love you too.


	56. Chapter 56

**This is the continuing scene immediately after Daniel asks Chaka if it is his choice to be here. As nearly as I can translate "tar ma kan ko" in context, given Chaka's answer:**

**Tar – group, ma – agree, kan-here, ko-give, ma kan - also means here by choice. I am guessing this means something like ' your choice here to give *help* to my group?' I love languages but sometimes I wish I had Daniel to help me with some of these! **

**Chaka then answers in broken English "(H)uman (h)elp Chaka, Chaka (h)elp human." **

**All these languages are also causing my spell check to have a nervous breakdown.**

**(0)**

"Chaka," Jillian's voice drew everyone's attention.

She was coming through the entrance into the Gate Room with Jack only a step or so behind her. She went to the Unas with no hesitation, on swift, light feet, clearly delighted and hugged Chaka tightly around his broad, scaly neck – to the surprised of everyone but Jack and Daniel.

O'Neill paused beside Edwards, hoping to set an example of indifferent nonchalance when faced with an Unas at the SGC.

"Jillian taught him to hug," Jack said, in a low, conversational tone intended to continue the relaxed feeling of camaraderie.

Edwards gave Jillian a long, slow look that started at her ankles and traveled up to her shoulders – a look Jack was glad neither Daniel nor Chaka saw. Friend or not, it was still best not to risk upsetting Chaka – and it wouldn't help anyone if Daniel's temper was provoked even more than it already was. Jack recognized the signs if no one else did. Daniel was on a knife edge of losing it.

"Yeah," Edwards said, "Hugging Dr. North. I get that."

"Well," Jack drawled in a voice that was suddenly dangerously sleepy, "Dr. Jackson gets 'that'. So don't go getting your hopes – or anything else – up."

Edwards grunted but appeared to back down. Jack gave him one more deceptively passive look and turned his attention to the greeting that was continuing between Chaka and Jillian. The hug had ended and Jillian was chatting in casual and familiar way.

"A'chaka, ka nay, a benar."

"Jannnnn," Chaka purred.

They had discovered that Jillian's name was hard for him to say. Eventually they had settled on what everyone in the archaeology department called her. Dr. Jan – the result of the signature she put on nearly everything. Dr. J A N and then a long squiggle with no discernible letters.

Chaka gestured around the huge room with one clawed hand.

"Shesh," he said.

Jillian smiled and laid a comforting hand on his arm.

"No na te," she said, with a shrug.

Daniel interrupted, "Are you ready to go?"

"I am," Jillian answered, readjusting the back pack that had shifted when she hugged Chaka.

"Kek?" Daniel asked Chaka and got a brief nod and a grunt that sounded affirmative.

Hammond turned and directed an order to the Control Room.

"Dial the Gate."

As the Chevrons spun Jack wandered over to Daniel in a way that appeared entirely laconic. He gave Chaka a nod and a tight smile and got a brief respectful nod that was much to reminiscent of Teal'c.

"You sure about this?" Jack asked Daniel.

"Yes," Daniel said and Jack heard the hostility clearly. Daniel would fight him and everyone else about this until he got his way. Trying to keep Daniel from doing this now would be like trying to keep frogs in a dishpan. Jack glanced surreptitiously at Jillian and saw the same resigned understanding in the gaze she returned from under her lashes. He shifted ever so slightly to catch Teal'c's eye and got the same answer in dark, level eyes.

Jack contained a sigh. He couldn't go, and even if he could he wasn't sure how much help he would be. He moved back out of the way as the sixth chevron clanged into place and took the opportunity to spear Edwards with a look that said,

_Let anything happen to them and I'll have your stripes…_

Then the room was filled with the thunderous roar of the wormhole engaging, followed by the softer, wave-lapping sound it made once it had calmed.

Jack stood back. His injury was starting to throb again and he realized he'd missed his pain meds and Janet was going to yell at him.

_That_ was worse than not getting to follow half his team through the Gate.

(0)

"Colonel, he knows you don't like him. If you keep staring at him like that, he's going to take it as a challenge," Daniel was struggling to keep his own temper.

He turned to Chaka, who was snarling, tipped forward on the balls of his feet with his teeth bared. The only leash holding Chaka at the moment was his friendship with Daniel.

"Chaka, ka keka," he said, urgently.

Chaka glanced at Daniel and there was a very slight relaxation in the tight set of the Unas' shoulders. Daniel nodded and Chaka turned away. He was still growling but it now sounded more like grumbling.

Daniel looked around until he found Jillian. She was standing by the supply tent surrounded by a group of Airmen, but she had been surrounded by eager young men wanting to help since they had arrived. She looked over at Daniel as if a voice on the breeze had told her he was looking for her. Meaningfully he looked from her to the retreating Unas and then back again.

Jillian nodded, smiled at the men in a way Daniel figured had just caused all their cognitive abilities to derail and hurried after Chaka. Relieved Daniel gave his attention to Teal'c.

"Chaka!"

He paused and turned to her.

"Aka na," she said.

A puzzled look crossed the reptilian features.

"Ka te," he said.

"Te ka naya," she explained, "Te tar. Edwards…..zo. He's just trying to protect. Understand?"

Chaka looked over her head at the figure of Edwards and snorted. Then he looked at her again.

"Dan'yal, Jan," he brought his fists together, "Ka Naya. Edwarrrrr….. ka benar."

Jillian understood. He was here to help them, not make trouble. But he didn't like Edwards. At all.

"Edwards isn't in command of Daniel," Jillian said.

"Kel?"

Jillian thought about it carefully. Kel was a general word that meant everything from who to what to why or how.

"Who is in command? Who tells Daniel what to do?" she asked, but it was more to clarify.

Chaka nodded. Jillian rolled her eyes and grinned at him.

"Daniel?" she paused and held out her hands, palms up in a gesture of 'who knows.' "Daniel, ka zo. Does what he wants."

"Dan'yal tonak," Chaka stated.

Jillian looked startled. "Make war? Daniel? NO! Ka! Daniel, ko ma."

Chaka made a gestured with his hand against his throat, closed fingers opened as he brought his hand forward.

"Wordssss," he said, "Tonak worrrdsss."

Jillian laughed. "Yes, he'll fight with words. His chosen weapon."

"Nan?" she asked and got the affirmative head nod and grunt. "Ka cha. I'll introduce you to military chow. Don't expect much."

She was never too sure that Chaka understood everything she said but this time his hearty chuckle seemed to confirm that he did.

(0)

Much later….

The Unas were roaring in the distance and Daniel was running back into the camp with Chaka and the rest of the SGC personnel. Jillian had to sprint to catch up with him and then run beside him.

"Daniel, what's wrong?"

"Edwards' men killed one of the Unas. This is about to go very bad." Daniel answered.

"Edwards won't just order them all slaughtered will he?"

"Even if he did, we couldn't kill them all," Daniel answered.

"Daniel!"

He stopped so suddenly she ran into him.

"I asked how many tribes there are."

"And they said?"

"Soseka," Daniel answered.

Jillian inhaled sharply. "_Tribes?"_

"Yes."

"Oh my god," it was a horrified whisper. Adrenaline rushed, matching the near-panic on Daniel's face. Lightning flashed and glass shattered in his expression.

Daniel grasped her upper arms, fingers clamped like shackles.

"Go in the supply tent and stay there," he said. "Take zats with you, as many as we can spare."

"Daniel, I am trained.…" The protest died, murdered by the look in his eyes.

"Jillian." The snapped syllables of her name said it all. He would knock her out and hide her himself if she didn't do what he said. Her reaction was instantaneous and stubborn. Her eyes narrowed.

_Jesus,_ Daniel thought, _she's pissed…_

"The Unas don't take their women into battle. My presence should….."

"It's too late for that now," Daniel shook his head impatiently.

"Daniel," frustration painted her voice.

"_Jillian!"_

It was the look in his eyes that stopped her again. It was still as fierce, still as passionate but now it was colored with a kind of desperation and fear mingled with tenderness. Jillian's heart stumbled. It was more unsettling than being blindly ordered around by him. She bit down on a hot, blistering reply and looked away.

"What are _you_ going to do?" she asked.

"Keep it from going bad, any way I can," he answered, "Now, go."

"Jann_, kek_," Chaka snarled and she looked at him.

He looked huge suddenly and there was unspoken threat in his reptilian eyes.

Jilian realized that Chaka would help Daniel wrestle her into a tent and tie her there if he thought it necessary.

Through clenched teeth she told Daniel, "We're going to fight about this later."

"I hope so," Daniel said, sincerely.

The roaring got louder. Daniel and Chaka turned to join the rest of the group gathering outside the tents

"Daniel!" Jillian said.

He looked back.

"I love you."

"I love you too

(0)

Ka nay – friend, clan member

Benar – honor

Shesh – I don't understand

Kek – go

Aka na – I'm sorry

Ka te – not you

Te ka naya – my clan

Te tar – my group

Zo – leader

Ka cha – come with me

Ka keka – don't harm/kill

Soseka – more than one hundred


	57. Chapter 57

**This finishes up the events of Enemy Mine, and is dedicated all of you that asked me for an 'alpha-Daniel' scene. Y'all enjoy while I go take a cold shower. ;-)**

**(0)**

Daniel strode through the halls of the SG1, nonregulation sneakers soft on the concrete, all his senses honed on the people passing him. He didn't want anyone to stop him, try to talk to him, welcome him back.

He and Jillian had taken up opposite sides of the table during the debriefing. They almost always sat next to each other. This time he knew that if they were that close they'd strike sparks that would set the briefing room on fire.

In retrospect it might have been better if they had been side by side. It would have prevented him from accidentally glancing at Jillian, from time to time, and seeing the passion in her eyes and knowing it was for him.

She had promised him they were going to fight about his demand that she stay out of the way on 403. Somehow, given the flavor of the tension between them at the moment he didn't think they were going to fight.

Somewhere between exiting the Gate and taking their seats at the broad table what had begun as desire had morphed into simmering lust .

She was breathing softly, slowly and Daniel swore he could feel it as if they were standing face to face. The memory of the way she kissed was so vivid Daniel wasn't certain they weren't doing it right in the middle of the briefing.

His voice was scratchy and too deep, even to his own ears while he tried to keep a dozen brain cells connected long enough to give Hammond a report. Every other brain cell he had was concentrated on Jillian. She was alive. He could have lost her to an Unas massacre. They had been _that_ close.

Now all he could think of was the kiss she had given him on 403. She had flowed towards him like water trickling hill when the negotiations ended. Her eyes had been full of pride and exasperation, a hint of her former temper and so much love it had stopped his heart. She'd stood still in front of him, just gazing at him with those incredible eyes, until Daniel had taken her face in his hands and breathed on her lips, licked them softly until she'd opened her mouth and leaned against him just enough to make them both start to fall and keep falling, and then he'd had to stop because if they didn't it was going to cause a scene right in front of the Army Corp of Engineers

But Jillian's mouth had been warm and wet on his, tracing patterns on his tongue with hers. There had been the startling urgency of his hands as they caught in her hair and held her immobile while his mouth plundered hers, the insistent press of his hips against hers.

Even seated across the table, he could see the pulse quick and frantic on her lovely throat just above her khaki collar and it seemed he could feel it under his mouth, the echo of it in her fingertips when they wrapped slowly around Daniel's flesh, stroking him senseless.

He glanced at her just in time to see her taking a drink from the Diet Coke he'd gotten for her, watched her lips shape briefly to the bottle. Then the smooth tip of her tongue licked the cola from her lips and both of them stopped breathing for a moment.

Dragging his gaze away from her, Daniel very accidentally made eye contact with Teal'c. Contained amusement danced in the Jaffa's expression. A smirk begged to be released at the corner of his mouth. If he dared to lift the eyebrow, Daniel would throttle him.

"Dr. Jackson?" Hammond prompted and Daniel realized he'd stopped talking.

Daniel cleared his throat, shifting in his chair as he was forced to part his legs slightly and focused with iron determination on ending this briefing.

"Um yes. When we left Col Edwards was looking over the list of words in the Unas language that Jillian made for them and uploading them into their computers. Iron Shirt was on his way back to a meeting of the clans to explain the agreement. Chaka is going to remain as interpreter for as long as he can."

"And you think this agreement is going to work?"

"I see no reason why not," Daniel said.

He hoped his expression wasn't screaming '_can we go now?_'

Mercifully they had been dismissed shortly after that. He and Jillian kept a good two feet between them as they walked the hall to the elevator; and then they had moved into opposite corners of the elevator and tried not to think about elevator sex, because in spite of the sense of urgency Daniel didn't think either of them wanted to take care of it quite like this.

Even if he wanted to throw her up against the wall, wrestle her out of her clothes and take her right there on the floor.

"I want a shower," Jillian said, confirming his suspicions. The dust and sweat of an alien world still clung to both of them and they had been in the same clothes for almost two days.

"Yeah," he said, "I'll go to the locker room."

They wouldn't both fit in the miniature broom closet that had been used as the template for the shower in their quarters. He was watching her with his teeth clenched and his shoulders rising and falling slowly when the elevator door had finally opened to let them go their separate ways.

His shower had been much colder than he had wanted it to be, since the locker room hadn't been as deserted as he had hoped it would be. Too many SGC teams had returned for the weekend.

Now he was making his way to their quarters, still unable to stop thinking about how much he wanted her, warm and aching and wrapped around him. All he desired at the moment was the weight of Jillian's body over him and beside him and under him, his thigh pressing between her legs, the way she would arch and moan as his hand slid over her breasts, down her side.

Alive. _Alive….._

He didn't want to think about how much of his current state had been caused by the danger they had been subjected to and how much was caused by watching all those other men gather around her like bees around a particularly lovely flower.

In this case _his_ particularly lovely flower, something she had made quite clear to everyone who had watched them kiss.

He slid his access card through the slot and the door opened.

He caught her in the middle of brushing her hair, a cascade of auburn silk freshly dried and falling over her shoulders and down her back. Gray sweats slung low on the curve of her hips, nothing above her waist but a pale blue bra covered in a sheath of black lace, her still- damp skin gleaming, Her green eyes were wild, startled, even though she knew only one person would use his access card and come through the door without knocking.

Daniel's eyes fused with hers over the distance that separated them. He yanked off his glasses and hauled his shirt over his head, muscles in his back, shoulders and arms rippling. Tossing both on the floor he watched her lips part and her eyes grow smoky with desire.

It was all the acknowledgement, all the encouragement he needed. He eradicated the space between them in a few long strides and then suddenly he had her pinned up against the opposite wall while they tried to climb inside each other.

"I'm sorry," he gasped in between a passionate kiss that had them falling again while they tried to remove all their clothing at once.

"What?" She asked, distracted, fingers working on his belt.

"Whatever we were going to fight about. I'm sorry."

He stepped back from her long enough to get her sweatpants out of the way and let her kick them off.

"Okay," Jillian panted, distracted by the muscles of his back, rippling under her hands.

She knew he'd do it again, make her angry, risk the knife edge of her temper, if it meant keeping her safe.

Part of her rebelled and part of her reacted with some primal instinct that made her crave the man who would stand between her and danger.

Clothes discarded, Daniel pulled her away from the wall. He was fully, insanely erect, hard everywhere; and she was soft and yielding. Her back bent over his arm as they kissed again, one hand caressing her throat before siding lower. He turned them around and herded her towards the bed, holding her tight and mapping her throat with his mouth while he groped for the quilt and sheet with one hand. He yanked them back savagely and then turned until she fell backwards onto the mattress. He had her pinned now, his greater weight removing any tactical advantage she might have had. But she wasn't fighting him. She was, in fact, stroking her hand down his side, past his hip, grazing lovingly over the most sensitive parts of his body, intent on his erection. He intercepted her hand with desperate quickness. His fingers tightened around her wrist.

If she touched him he might just explode.

She gave a single frustrated moan and arched up, pressing her hips to his, legs parting. The rest of her seemed to contract, folded up under him. Her elbows were tight to sides, her palms flat against his chest. She tucked her head in so that her forehead rested against his collarbone – as if she understood his need to protect her and had surrendered to it.

Even though he was ablaze with need, a rush of tenderness hit him and mixed with desire and he paused even though he would have sworn he wouldn't be able to. Hovering at the entrance she offered him, Daniel kissed her forehead and then used his cheek to lift her face up to meet his.

His eyes locked with hers, his hand in the center of her lower back lifted up her slippery silk, entering her at the same moment his lips finally touched down on her waiting mouth.

And then the hot wet slide of his strength that joined them and the building rhythmic dance and wordless unity. Jillian held utterly still and he thrust down into soft wet tightness, into something deep and carnal and profound.

Something still unbruised by the relentless Universe.

"_Daniel." _It was whisper. It was all the stunned warning he got before she curled up even tighter against his chest and her legs gripped his hips and her entire body dissolved into throbbing ecstasy, waves that crested one after the other. Heat and pressure built in him as his body answered the insistent strokes and the sound of Daniel's deep groan washed over them.

Daniel joined the peak of pleasure and flew helplessly over the edge with her, white flashes of light behind his eyes and blood roaring in his ears. He held her in a crushing embrace, shuddering.

"_Ohhh….Jill-"_

The tension finally snapped a long moment later, and he almost collapsed entirely before he caught his weight on his elbows and knees. Trying to catch his breath, he looked down through a euphoric haze at her re-focusing eyes, her flushed cheeks and the tendrils of hair clinging to her damp forehead and thought it was one of the most heart-stoppingly beautiful things he'd ever seen.

Jillian reached to stroke his sweat-damp temple with light fingertips and smiled up at him, open and warm. He slid an arm under her head, the other hand on her hip and half-turned them, settling a little more. The movement made him dizzy and he closed his eyes, thinking that it wasn't exactly an 'alpha-male' trait to pass out after making love.

Jillian nestled against him, entwined her small fingers in his large ones and let her eyes drift closed.

It was then that Daniel realized he had been on the move for thirty-six hours straight.

No wonder he was dizzy. He had just enough energy to find a pillow for his head and shift them both into a more comfortable position. Jillian murmured something and he said,

"Shhh."

Silence, infinite and gentle covered them like a blanket. Contentment enfolded them and Daniel would have smiled if he'd had the energy. As it was he held her until he knew she was lost in dreams, safe in his arms before letting sleep claim him.

(0)


	58. Chapter 58

**This is after the events of Avenger 2.0, when Daniel was stuck in the pouring rain off world.**

**(0)**

Jillian opened her eyes and found that she was staring at the familiar tray ceiling in the bedroom of the home she shared with Daniel. She loved waking up like this, on mornings when no one had to go anywhere. According to her calculations they still had three days of leave.

And today was Valentine's Day. They had promised each other simple and normal – a quiet day, getting out of bed whenever, relaxing by the fire in the library, an evening of dinner and dancing at the Resort (reservations made _months_ ago.) Daniel had mentioned a cardboard box full of scrolls in his office he wanted to go over, but okay. She loved him anyway.

At the moment, he was big and warm and immediate, lying on his stomach next to her, curving bicep disappearing under the pillow his head rested on, his hair spiky from falling asleep with it still wet. He smelled like sleep and sandalwood… and sex.

Jillian grinned a little and stretched. The movement disturbed him enough that he rolled onto his side and gathered her into his arms. She nuzzled her face against into his chest, enjoying the morning warmth of his skin and the sheets, cradled in the security of his embrace. His chin was resting on the top of her head; both arms around her now and one leg thrown over her hip. She knew by the rhythmic rise and fall of his body that he was still asleep.

It was perfect and Jillian was in no hurry to wake him. Daniel's emotional and physical state after being trapped in a flooding, collapsing civilization with hundreds of panicked natives had not escaped Jack's notice; (and Jillian suspected that Sam's stress level had been a factor as well. After all, she had been the one trying to fix the disaster caused by Felger's virus and bring the rest of her team home safely, not mention restoring the entire Gate system.) Jack had requested that SG1 be put on stand down and sent them all home the moment permission was given.

There was a rumor he'd had to promise not to strangle Felger as part of the bargain but Jillian suspected that Jack would just send Teal'c to do it for him.

The timing was serendipitous. Rusty Davidson's wife was having minor surgery. Scotty had already asked to spend his first Valentine's Day with his girlfriend, Annie, and Jillian had asked for the day months ago when she'd made the dinner reservations, not even daring to hope SG1 would actually get the same time off. But SG8 was already on stand down for the week before the Avenger 2.0 mess had even happened; and now Daniel was here too.

Daniel had spent the drive home with the passenger seat of her truck in a reclining position, arms folded over his chest and his eyes closed. He had managed to sit up long enough to bolt down the super-sized Big Mac and coffee that Jillian got him at the drive-thru, after he complained about being starved; then he had passed out in the seat again.

He'd had just enough energy to strip, take a scalding hot shower and collapse into bed, where Jillian had covered him with clean sheets and their heavy down quilt, started a fire to warm the room, kissed him on the forehead and left him to sleep. He'd spent days in the cold and wet and chaos; then returned to a snow covered Colorado Springs. He would want warmth and quiet.

It had surprised her when she finally joined him in bed later that he reached for her – half asleep but hard and wanting. Their movement together had been sweet and sleepy. Their connection felt unhurried and powerful. Release had come in gentle waves, cresting high and then falling into a contented state of being nothing but the other, leaving them sated, hands and limbs entwined, the room filled with the cadence of breathing as it calmed. In the envelope of serenity they had both fallen back to sleep, though Jillian still wasn't certain Daniel had ever fully woken up.

Not that it mattered. He had murmured her name at one point, as he had nudged her legs open and just before his mouth covered hers; and then again when his climax had finally eased and hers was finally starting to ebb. Then he had dropped onto his side, drawing her close.

It was a testament to how much he loved her, if he knew she was there even in a haze of weariness.

That she was the one he reached for now even in his dreams.

She turned her head enough to press a kiss against his chest and tilted up to kiss the pulse point at the base of his throat. He sighed but showed no sign of moving or waking. She trailed a hand over his ribs and the dip of his waist and let it come to rest on his hip.

Daniel still didn't so much as twitch.

He still needed to sleep and he'd be starved again when he finally woke up. Several days of hurriedly eaten, soggy MRE's and an extra value meal would be long gone.

Jillian cautiously slipped out of bed. The movement made him stir, reaching for her with one hand as a frown creased his forehead. She leaned over and kissed the top of his temple.

"Go back to sleep," she whispered.

He grumbled something that might not have been in English, turned back onto his stomach and faded away again.

He slept without moving while she showered, dressed, dried her hair, stirred the fire in the bedroom fireplace back to life, fed it and damped it down enough to warm the room up for him and then went to start breakfast.

Two hours after she had left the bed, with sausage in the microwave and the waffle batter ready for the griddle, she finally heard Daniel moving around the bedroom. He staggered out a little bit later, dressed in sweats, yawning, scratching at his spiky hair and carrying a legal-sized envelope.

_Gods, _Jillian thought, _does he have any idea how fucking gorgeous he is? _She realized that she had been waiting for him, breathlessly, to appear.

He sat down on a bar stool, folded his arms across the breakfast bar and leaned forward.

"Good morning," she said, and leaned over the counter to press a brief and very chaste kiss against his lips.

"Morning," he agreed, "Are you making breakfast?"

Jillian glanced at the clock. 11:00 am.

"At this point I think it's brunch," she said, "Do you want eggs?"

"I don't know, maybe," he answered, "I can do it."

"Without setting the smoke alarm off this time?" she teased.

"Ha ha," he answered. "Are you making waffles?"

"Yes, is that all right?"

"It's perfect. I'm starving. I didn't know we had a waffle maker."

Jillian shrugged. "It was packed away in my storage unit. I never used it."

"I'm honored," he said.

Jillian considered telling him that she had initially gotten it out for Teal'c, who ate enough to keep a mountain standing. But she was reluctant to bring up the long, lonely months of her life when Teal'c had prowled the late hours in their house and Jillian had slept on an air mattress in the guest room rather than face a bed that no longer held Daniel.

To change the subject, she looked at the envelope he had placed on the breakfast bar and said,

"What's that?"

"It's part of you Valentine's Day present."

"We said no real gifts this year, dinner and dancing and no one else, just each other."

"Well I actually set out to get this for Christmas for you. But it just came through a couple of days ago; and it didn't cost anything."

Jillian eyed the envelope suspiciously.

"Open it." Daniel was grinning now, if a little uncertainly.

Jillian slit the top with a fingernail and pulled out a sheaf of tri-folded papers. She read through the first few lines and then looked up at him in shock.

"Daniel," she breathed, "Security clearance for my father? You did this?"

"How many times over the last few years have we said we needed him? His expertise in diplomacy, his knowledge of language, his experience in foreign cultures? It took some arguing, but …." He stopped them and shrugged. Jillian knew too well what happened when Daniel got an idea in his head.

"I can tell him?" she still sounded a bit stunned.

"Not everything. You'll have to read through the whole thing. There are certain technologies that still require a level of clearance over that one, but he can know about the program and travel the Gate is he chooses to be part of it."

Jillian looked up at him. Daniel watched the play of emotions across her beautiful, mobile face – happiness and surprise and delight.

"I don't know what to say," she murmured.

"The last time I checked you knew how to say 'thank you' in fifteen languages." _Sixteen, _he thought, _if you count the language of love. _But he didn't say it out loud.

Jillian looked like she wanted to vault the breakfast bar, but she took the time to run around the counter to the other side and then flung herself into his arms.

"Thank you," she whispered, kissing the side of his face. "I've tried a few times and then just gave up!"

"I know," he said, arms tight, inhaling the soft floral scent of her hair before setting her back to look in her eyes. "So, while you're really happy with me, can I ask you something?"

"Something you think is going to get you into trouble?" Jillian's eyes danced.

"Yeah," he said, looking pained.

"What?"

"Did we make love last night? I wasn't dreaming?"

Jillian's laugh was like wind chimes. "Yes. But why would that get you in trouble?"

"Oh I don't know," he said in a way that implied he really did, "It's just a guess but I think women generally like it when men remember something like that."

She trailed the back of her fingers along his cheek.

"You were exhausted."

"Well apparently not completely!" he answered.

Her lips touched his again, in that same chaste and reverent way she had used to kiss him good morning, "It was wonderful."

Daniel rubbed his cheek against hers and then lowered his head to kiss first her jaw and then lower to reach her neck. Jillian tilted her head to give him better access.

"I like that," she whispered.

"I know," he said, as his tongue got involved in the exploration of her neck. "Can we do it again, now that I'm awake?"

Jillian wasn't sure if he was teasing or not but laughter flowed from her, open and delighted. Her eyes closed in anticipation as she leaned into his nuzzling and let her hands wander the contours of his back, stroking down the tender column of nerves and bone at its center. It would be one of those days, a continuation of the night, the kind that caressed the gentlest part of their souls. Perversely, she wanted to postpone it and draw out the day.

"You wanted to work on those scrolls?

"It would be nice to finish translating the Tobin manuals," he answered, "and you're the only one who can help me with the Phoenician." He didn't let her go right away, His hands were resting casually on the curve of her hips, holding her in place and suddenly his mind slipped away to something else entirely, something they had yet to talk about, "It was so cold, Jill, and so wet. All I could think of was you and how warm you are, the way you feel, the way you smell, the way you taste…"

There was real passion in his kiss now.

"How about after we eat?" she asked, still concerned that he hadn't fully recovered from his cold wet ordeal off world, "You said you were starving?"

"I am actually."

"You still want to make eggs?"

"As long as you want scrambled," he answered.

"With the cut up mushrooms and tomatoes?" she asked.

"And no onions," he remembered.

They returned to the kitchen area, where Daniel took a moment to slip an arm around her waist and kiss her again before heading for the fridge to look for eggs. Jillian watched him, the long curve of his back and the line of his hip and thighs, the deliciously broad shoulders.

She smiled as she checked to see how hot the griddle was. Oh, yes, it was definitely going to be one of those days.

(0)

Jillian eyed the box of scrolls and resisted a sigh. For some reason this was really important to Daniel and while she was thinking the day could be better spent in a nice bike ride, or even in bed, she was willing to spend at least part of it doing what he wanted.

She just wished it didn't feel so much like work.

He was perched in his desk chair with a scroll opened and held down on the corners by various objects, including a small globe and his stapler. There was a book opened beside the scroll and the scanned copy of the Tobin manuals was showing on the computer screen.

"Any particular one you want me to start with?" she asked.

"Whichever catches your attention," he said, barely looking up.

"Really?" she asked.

"I trust your instincts," he answered, looking at her briefly from over the top of his glasses.

Jillian wrinkled her nose and bent over to paw through the box. The scrolls were fairly ancient and she doubted the Smithsonian would be happy to know Daniel had brought them home with him. The Smithsonian hadn't been happy about even sending them to the SGC. It had taken years of paperwork.

As much as she didn't feel like working, there was still a certain thrill knowing she was touching something thousands of years old and wondering who had written them, what person had touched them last. She let her fingers skim them gently, looking for one that would 'catch her attention.'

Then, suddenly, one did. It was small, only 10 inches across and didn't appear to be very long, unlike all the others. It felt 'different' but she couldn't say how, fresher maybe, without the brittleness of the other scrolls.

She pulled it out and sat down in the leather chair by the desk and unrolled it. Familiar Phoenician letters appeared, large and in black inch, meticulously rendered…..

Jillian read it and then read it again.

'Will you marry me?'

Her heart stopped and then she was hit with an emotion so powerful it was breath-stealing and she felt like she was melting inside and she started to tremble.

"_Daniel."_

She looked up, seeking his eyes to anchor her to the world and found him sliding an open ring box across the table towards her.

Robbed of breath again she stared at him.

"It was my grandmother's," he said, softly, "then it was my mother's."

"It's beautiful," she said, finally.

"There aren't wedding bands that match but I thought we could have them made," he went on, "except…."

Jillian had been fixated on the ring shining in the black velvet box. The band was covered with small pave diamonds rising up cathedral-style to support the sparkling center diamond. But now her eyes flew to his again.

"Except?"

"You haven't actually given me an answer," he whispered, sounding terrified and vulnerable in a way she had not heard in years.

The scroll dropped from her hands as she bolted from the chair and leaped on top of him, arms around his neck, sliding into his lap.

"_Oh god_, Daniel," she cried, "Yes. Of course, yes, yes."

His hand clasped hers tight as he separated her ring finger from the rest and slipped the band on. It fit perfectly, and, after gazing at it in stunned silence for a moment she looked at him and lifted an eyebrow.

Reading her thoughts he said, "I 'borrowed' the sapphire ring you wear when we go dancing to have it sized properly."

"You were that sure I'd say yes?" She was teasing.

"Yes, no…. yes…, maybe. I don't know. I just knew that if you did say yes, I wanted it to be perfect."

"We said no Valentine gifts," but she didn't sound like she really cared.

"I was going to wait for your birthday next month," he admitted, "But after this last mission, I just…. I just couldn't."

Words failed him then but when he looked into her eyes he saw nothing but calm certainty and that particular spark of love that belonged, miraculously, to him. The sight of it burned a trail straight to his heart and left him aching with love.

"You're sure," he said and it wasn't a question.

"Completely."

Daniel's arms locked around her and pulled her deep into a kiss.

_Love. _The whisper of it, the power of it, ran through them both and Daniel stopped kissing her just long enough to look into her eyes and make sure that he could still see it there.

"Do you still want to go to dinner?" he asked.

"Yes. Do you still want to work on these scrolls?"

"I never wanted to work on the scrolls," he said, grinning, silly in love at this point and not caring how it looked.

"Yeah, I figured that out," she laughed again.

Jillian leaned close to him and let her mouth hover over his for a moment.

"I love you."

They spoke in the same breath and then laughed just before her lips settled over his.

They spoke again without words in the touch of lips and the stroke of fingers. Later, they lay connected and entwined, their heartbeats and breathing merged, their souls joined.

The magic lingered for the rest of the long afternoon.

(0)


	59. Chapter 59

**Missing scene from Birthright, just after Neith wakes Daniel up by holding an activated staff weapon in his face. I'm writing Jillian into this episode, again off screen, and dedicating this to Christopher Judge – with my thanks for letting me tag onto his writing.**

**Jillian loses her temper and they are forced to face some unresolved issues from the past.**

**(0)**

Daniel sank down on the bunk and tried to get his pounding heart under control. Waking up with a staff weapon in his face had certainly been a new, different and exciting experience. Then there had been Jillian, who had come in and demanded to know why Neith had just stalked out their tent carrying a staff weapon. She had given him a tight smile, a brief nod and then vanished again. He supposed he was going to have to go after her. She had not looked pleased.

Then there was a wild commotion outside and Teal'c shouting,

"Daniel Jackson!"

And he was up and on his feet and running, fumbling to get his glasses in place as he did.

A crowd of onlookers was standing in a stunned circle watching Jillian – staff weapon in hand – faced off in a battle stance with Neith.

"_Jillian!"_ He could not have sounded more horrified. He started forward only to have Teal'c clamp an iron fist around his arm and stop him. He struggled wildly.

"Teal'c, let me go before she gets herself killed!"

"Neith has threatened you. It is Jillian's right as your betrothed to extract payment for that," Teal'c's voice was rigid.

Daniel wanted to answer but at that moment Jillian surged forward with a feral scream. She closed with Neith and arched a blow with the staff weapon towards Neith's left shoulder. Neith blocked it high and to the left as Jillian spun and aimed a sweeping blow at Neith's legs. Neith blocked it and the staff weapons crossed each other with a lethal crack.

Jillian broke off first, spinning and using the momentum to back up enough to give her enough space to slam the butt-end of the staff weapon into Neith's ribs. Neith doubled over and fell back a step. Jillian surged forward to press her advantage but was forced at the last moment to hit the ground and roll to avoid an incoming swing that would have caught her on the left hip.

As Jiilian came to her feet, Neith aimed a slash at her that should have bisected her from her shoulder to her hip. Daniel saw the momentary flash of surprise on Neith's face as Jillian sidestepped, knocked the staff weapon wide, moved forward and slammed the back of right fist up and into Neith's chin.

Daniel wasn't sure who was more shocked – him or Neith.

Neith staggered back from the blow, her teeth clicking together sharply as she struggled to regain her balance. Jillian jabbed a weak blow with her staff weapon at Neith's ribs and then broke off the motion to duck a slash that should have crushed her skull at the earlobe.

"Who taught her this?" Daniel whispered, wrenching his eyes from the embattled women long enough to give Teal'c an angry glare.

The Jaffa's customary calm was nerve wracking.

"She was already trained in the highest level of your martial arts. She learned quickly," Teal'c answered.

Could the man look any more _pleased_ with the situation?

Daniel stared and then muttered, viciously, "_Cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài."_

Neith raked her staff weapon low along the ground and Jillian, still crouched after ducking the last blow, jumped over it. But as Jillian landed Neith swept her leg through Jillian's ankles and toppled her.

"_Jillian!" _Daniel shrieked again. Teal'c still had him restrained.

But Jillian never really hit the ground. She turned the fall into an almost languid backward twist and came to her feet just in time to block Neith's staff weapon with her own. For a moment they were at a standstill, weapons crossed between them and only inches separating them, facing to face and panting in time with one another. Neith pivoted, slamming her elbow into Jillian's jaw as she did. Jillian staggered backward, dazed for a split second. Neith gave a warrior's cry and bolted forward to finish her opponent.

But Jillian recovered faster than she let on, waited until the last possible second and stepped out of the way. Using the back end of the staff weapon she hammered Neith between the shoulder blades. Already off balance when her forward momentum was denied its prey, Neith went down. The warrior's cry turned into a frustrated scream as she did. She rolled over onto her back only to find Jillian standing over, straddling her with the business end of the staff weapon pointed at her throat.

Silence descended, broken when Jillian activated the staff weapon and said in a deadly flat voice,

"Kree shak."

Neith dropped her staff weapon and opened her palms in surrender.

Ishta's voice rang out as she came from the woods, drawn by the noise.

"Kornak kree! Stop this now."

Teal'c let go of Daniel, but by now he was too shocked to move. As nearly as he could tell it had taken Jillian less than five minutes to overpower a Jaffa-trained warrior.

Jillian didn't move either. She just stood over Neith for a moment longer and then snarled,

"He's _mine_. Don't go anywhere near him and never, _never,_ threaten him again."

Jillian spun and faced Ishta, shoulders squared, spine stiff and eyes on fire. She handed the Hak'tyl leader the staff weapon.

"You need to keep her on a tighter leash," she spat.

Then she turned, threw one wild, possessive look at Daniel and stalked back in to the tent they had been given. It took Daniel another second to get his feet moving to go after her.

She was pacing the very short width of the tent like a lioness in too small a cage.

"_Shén me niǎo_, Jillian," he demanded, blue eyes wild.

"_Niǎoshì,"_ she answered.

"_Nothing?" _He repeated, and then he realized she was starting to shake.

He crossed the distance between them and planted himself in front of her, pinning her with her back to the tent wall, forcing her to stop pacing.

She didn't fight him when he put his arms around her, crushing her against his chest and tucking her under his chin. Jillian put her hands against him but didn't push him away. Finally she rested her forehead in the hollow of his shoulder.

"Wǒ de jīn guó yīng xióng_,"_ Daniel murmured and she managed a choked, breathless laugh.

They stood like that for a few moments, until he knew she was calmer.

"You want to explain that?" he asked, finally.

She shrugged.

"It's a warrior culture. We're anthropologists. We adapt."

"We don't usually beat people up in the process," Daniel pointed out.

"She threatened you. In this culture something like that couldn't go unchallenged."

Daniel put his fingers under her chin and tried to tip her head up so that she would look at him. She hissed a sharp pain filled breath through her teeth.

Then he remembered the elbow to her jaw. Taking her by the forearms he backed her towards the bunk and made her sit. He went to his pack and retrieved the first aid. Withdrawing a cold pack, he squeezed it, shook it hard and brought it to her.

Cupping the right side of her head with one hand, he put the pack against her jaw below her ear and stared into her still burning eyes.

"That's going to bruise," he said.

"I've been bruised before," she said, then winced, grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand and the cold pack away from her skin a little, grumbling, "That hurts."

"I bet!" he snapped, "Jillian, for gods' sake what were you thinking?"

Her eyes blazed again.

"I was thinking that _chòu biǎozi _tried to murder _my _fiancé in _their _guest tent and I was going to make sure she didn't do it again in a way they bloody well understood!"

Teal'c broad frame blocked out the light from the door for a moment was he entered.

"She is right, Daniel Jackson,' he said, calmly.

"You stay out of this," Daniel growled, at him, "You're in enough trouble with me."

Jillian's temper had apparently only been banked and it flared again.

"Why? Why blame Teal'c for any of this? Because he helped me learn to defend myself better? Because he was there for me when you weren't?" Jillian demanded, and her voice was on fire again as she ended by shouting, "Because he gave me something to do when I was so mad at youfor_ dying _that I didn't know what to do with myself?"

If she had knifed him it would have hurt less. Breath left his chest as if someone had sucker punched him. His lips parted in soundless horror and his eyes filled with pain even as hers filled with regret.

Jillian looked away. Stunned, Daniel didn't move. He just remained frozen in place.

She looked back first. Her eyes chased after his until she caught eyes were sheened with tears.

"Daniel, I'm sorry."

For an ice-filled moment neither of them could move. Then the moment was broken when Ishta entered without warning. If Ishta noticed that the temperature of the air inside the tent was multiple degrees colder than the air outside, she was too polite to remark on it. She looked only at Jillian.

"I came to see if you are well," she said, bluntly.

Jillian nodded. "I am."

Ishta swept her with a considering look. "I had no idea the women of the Tauri were such formidable warriors even robbed of their customary weapons."

Jillian inclined her head towards Teal'c. "I had a good teacher," she said.

Ishta looked back and forth between them for a moment and then said, "I see. Is your business with Neith concluded then?"

"That's up to Neith," Jillian answered.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"Neith will trouble you no further," Ishta promised. "Please let us know if there is anything else you require."

"We will," Teal'c responded.

With another courteous nod of her head, Ishta backed out of the tent.

Daniel, who still had not moved or made a sound in that entire time, leaned forward, put his head on his knees and locked his hands behind his neck. The ice pack hit the floor and no one paid any attention to it.

Gingerly, Jillian placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again.

"You didn't do anything," his voice was low and muffled.

"Daniel," she pleaded.

"She forgave you long ago, Daniel Jackson," Teal said which made Daniel finally lift his head and blink at him. "But she _was_ angry for a time. As I understand it, this is one of the acceptable stages of Tauri grief."

"And you helped her through it by training her as Jaffa warrior?" Daniel asked, stunned.

He glanced at Jillian. The tears that rose in her gold-green eyes struck deeply at him, but he hung on to the rawness of the revisited pain and braced himself for more.

"You told me to take care of her," Teal reminded him.

With another mercurial shift of mood Daniel was suddenly angry. Jillian saw it in his eyes first and then in the stiffening of his spine.

"I was thinking more along the lines of holding her hand! Making sure she ate! Got out in the sunshine!"

"He did that too," Jillian interrupted, "Daniel, you asked Teal'c to watch over me. But he's not you. He doesn't do anything exactly like you do. So he didn't watch over me the way you would… Please _leannan_. Don't be angry with Teal'c and I didn't mean it. I'm not angry at you anymore. Not now."

"You were."

"Of course I was!" Jillian made a visible attempt to rein in her emotions. She looked down for a moment, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. "Daniel, you were gone for fifteen months and I had to find a way to survive without you. I'm not the same person I was when you left. You have to understand that."

Bright tears lost their hold grip on her lashes and fell. Her eyes, more shadow than light, locked on his, Trembling and uncertain, she placed both hands on his shoulders.

"I do, Jill," he said, mood softening, "It just takes me off my feet sometimes when I'm reminded what I put you through, what I put all of you through."

Daniel sat up again and reached to cradle the right side of her face with his palm, then hesitated with his fingers inches from her.

"You're amazing. You're incredible," he said and then inhaled again when she turned her head and kissed his palm before bringing it to her cheek. "I love you."

Jillian began to tremble because she saw something she had not known she needed shimmering in his eyes. Up until that moment she had not realized how much she needed his understanding for everything she had gone through; how much she needed him to comprehend just how long he had been gone and what she had done to survive. To see it now felt like redemption.

But in his eyes she also saw how little he had believed that she had truly forgiven him.

"I love you too, and Teal'c's right – I forgave you a long time ago," she whispered.

"When the meal was cooked?" he asked.

A ghost of a smile trembled across her face. "When the candlelight was still flame."

He gave her a small smile in return. Then he shifted his eyes, head still bowed, and made contact with Teal'c.

"Teal'c," he began.

"All is well, Daniel Jackson," the Jaffa cut him off and something unspoken passed briefly between them before Daniel looked back at Jillian.

He brushed the tips of his fingers along the bruise gradually appearing on her jaw.

"Try not to scare me like that again? _Nǐ tīngdǒng ma_?_"_ he said and she laughed.

"Do you still want to marry me?" she asked, tentatively

"I better," he answered, "If I don't I get the feeling you'll kick my ass."

"_Daniel!"_

"Yes, on the giant screen TV in Times Square," he laughed, "On New Year's Eve, so the whole world knows you're mine."

Jillian choked another sound that was neither laugh nor cry but an odd mix of both. She leaned forward to drape her arms around his neck, burying her face against his shoulder. Daniel stroked his hands down her back.

"I'm sorry." "I know. It's done." "Didn't mean to hurt you." "I love you."

They were both talking at once, voices overlapping, caught in a whirlpool of tangled laughter and tears.

He tilted her chin up, mindful of her bruised jaw and Jillian reached up to meet him halfway. The kiss was deep, urgent and bright with a connection that shown light into the last dark corners of their time apart. Emotion flowed tenderly back and forth, each one asking for more while the other opened and submitted, and then switched. Their connection was hesitant at first, and then grew more certain. It was redemption, full of the need for understanding, for the salve of absolution.

"I will leave you two alone," Teal'c intoned.

Lost in the other, neither Jillian nor Daniel noticed when he left.

(0)

Shén me niǎo – WFT

Niǎoshì – nothing of consequence, can also be 'nothing to give a damn about'

Wǒ de jīn guó yīng xióng – My (female) warrior, my heroine

chòu biǎozi – ummm, let's just say it wasn't a compliment…

Cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài – F*** you and your ancestors to the 18th dynasty

nǐ tīngdǒng ma – Do you understand?

kree shak – surrender or die

Kornak kree – a command to cease fighting (Geez the Goa'uld get a lot of mileage out of 'kree'!)


	60. Chapter 60

**Missing scenes from Evolution 1 and 2.**

**(0)**

Expecting to find Daniel waiting for her after the long debriefing, Jillian was surprised to find the office still empty. It had been a particularly grueling mission for SG8, negotiations complicated by the sudden disappearance of a group of families. They had been on a simple trip to the ocean – mothers with children of varying ages in a large vehicle that Jillian had mentally compared to a bus. The group had included the daughter of the Council Executor and the wife of the People's Speaker. Negotiations had come to an abrupt halt in the evening hours when the bus had never returned.

SG-8 had switched gears instantly from Earth's ambassadors to a search-and-rescue unit. Scotty and Rusty had been part of the team that had finally found them far from the ocean and scared to death. They had taken a wrong turn and gotten hopelessly lost.

All had ended well and the image of Scotty – tall and sun-bleached and grinning - emerging from the bus carrying the smallest child in his arms had certainly gone a long way to helping the negotiations along. The ego-boost Scotty got when dozens of grateful women wanted to hug him had been balanced later by the smack upside the head given to him by Mallory.

Watching the reunions of devoted and relieved families had made Jillian long for Daniel's arms.

So of course Daniel was gone when she finally returned. When she had asked General Hammond he had assured her that he was on Earth and that SG-1 would fill her in on the details.

Jillian pawed through the cluttered disarray on his desk for some clue and found nothing. The desk was stacked so high with miscellaneous that she didn't do more than skim the top of it for anything that hadn't been there before. She was just about to go find Teal'c when Sam showed up in the doorway.

"Where is he this time?" she asked and managed to look pained and hopeful and scared all at the same time. "Tricky translation on PX9-202? A mysterious something that could be an artifact from the Alliances of the Four Races? "

"No," Sam grinned a little.

"_Not_ somewhere shooting at someone or getting shot at; or something that requires C4?"

Sam faked a quizzical look. "Are there jobs like that?"

Jillian glared at her but she was trying not to smile and then suddenly said,

"Oh god, don't tell me he went home because something is wrong with that damn stingray he bought for the tank last week?"

"No, the fish are fine as far as I know!"

Jillian sighed and then begged,

"Then tell me he's not in the isolation ward again with some odd condition that's making Janet chew on a pencil."

"No, he's fine; at least he was the last time we talked to him a few hours ago," Sam said, cheerfully. "There's even a betting pool. I say he'll be back by dinner tomorrow. You want in on the action?"

"Where _is_ he?" Jillian was getting ready to throttle Sam.

"He's on Earth."

"Hammond said the same thing! Sam, have mercy, _where_ on Earth?" Even as she said it, Jillian realized that it wasn't just an expression for them.

Sam entered the room and tipped her chin to indicate the phone.

"He left you a voice mail."

"A voice mail?"

Sam shrugged. "He wanted to tell you himself and he didn't have time to write it down."

Jillian tried not to sigh as she reached for the phone, dialed her own number and then the pass code for her messages. Sam pushed some things off the corner of the table and leaned against it while Jillian listened. Sam could hear Daniel's hundred-mile-an-hour voice on the other end, but not clearly enough to make out everything he was saying.

Fortunately Sam already knew the situation; and it was either because she was tired or she was just too well trained to react that Jillian's face didn't seem to change expression through the entirety of Daniel's explanation.

She put the receiver back in the cradle, folded her hands and looked up at Sam.

"Honduras?"

"Yep," Sam agreed.

Jillian was quiet, staring at some obscure point in space only she could see for a few long moments.

"Jill?" Sam prompted.

"I'm trying to think if I'm the only one who came home from work today and got a message from her fiancé that he had gone to Honduras to look for the Fountain of Youth."

Sam made a show of considering that but there was too much laughter on her face to pull it off.

"I'm thinking you're the only one," she said finally.

Jillian looked up at her.

"He also said that you would tell me exactly why he had to go do this. Something about a new kind of Goa'uld soldier?"

Sam nodded and stood up straight.

"Come with me. You're not going to believe this."

As they left the office, Jillian said with a slow shake of her head, "I already don't believe it….."

(0)

(Not long after Hammond gives Jack the okay to go after Daniel.)

With the sixth sense honed in Black Ops, Jack turned towards the doorway a split second before Jillian appeared in his doorway. He took one look at the stony expression on her face – one he had seen far too many times on Daniel's not to recognize it for the trouble it was – and said,

"Oh, here we go."

"I'm going with you," Jillian said, bluntly.

"Jillian…."

"I don't have to go into the jungle. I know I'm not cleared for a CIA operation. But I am going to Honduras."

"He'll kill me. If I take you, he'll kill me."

"Jack, I'm going. Now, you can let me go with you and have some control over where I am and what I get to do; or – and I can't believe I'm going to say this, because I swore I never would – I'm going to call my father. I'm not without my own resources."

Jack didn't say anything for a long time. His relationship with Jillian seemed solid and she never seemed to have a problem with him. But there was something that Jack knew and he, swear to god, he would murder the person who told her.

No one had ever told Jillian that he had been the one who had told Jacob to stop trying to heal Daniel. He had given the order that had ended Daniel's life.

Daniel….. Jack had always thought that Jillian would understand. His friend, her lover, a man with more heart and soul and intelligence than anyone should have, begging him to let him go on the adventure of a lifetime instead of dragging him back into a permanently crippled body…..

No one else in that room would have given the same order. Certainly not Janet.

But Jack had always believed Jillian would have let him go too, if she had been there. They both loved Daniel enough to let him go.

Jack was sure.

He still didn't want anyone to tell her that it had been him. Jillian trusted him. She trusted him with Daniel.

Jack didn't know a whole lot of Jillian's back story, but he suspected that she was very much like Daniel and had about ten people in the whole world she trusted without question. Jack knew he was one of those people. Sometimes Jack wondered what to do about telling her what he had done and ran straight into the same question,

What would Daniel do?

Daniel would tell her the truth. Jack had no doubt of it at all.

Fuck that.

Seeking refuge from complicated drama in the way he always did, Jack pointed to his head and asked sarcastically.

"You see all this gray hair?"

Jillian frowned but nodded.

"Well, he caused it all! And now you're helping," Jack's voice gradually rose until he was just short of shouting.

"We'll pitch in and get you some Grecian Formula for Men, but I'm going."

Jack grimaced and scratched his fingers against his scalp in frustration. His eyes were filled with 'military no tolerance for nonsense' when he met her gaze again.

"You'll make absolutely certain he knows this was all your idea?"

Sensing victory, Jillian nodded.

"Absolutely certain?" Jack insisted.

"Yes!"

Jack gave her a skeptical shake of his head. "You'll stay at the Embassy until I find him?"

"Yes."

"Inside the Embassy?"

"Yes!"

Jack grumbled under his breath for a moment and then said, "You've got thirty minutes to get ready."

Jillian smiled with much too much satisfaction.

"I'm ready now."

(0)

(Immediately following Burk's statement that "It's crazy." The 'hawk' Jack refers to is a HH-60G Pave Hawk rescue helicopter.)

Burke was still grinning like a fool when the distant sound of an approaching helicopter drew their attention.

Daniel and Bill both reacted …. Well, badly. Bill started scurrying backwards towards the hut and, while Daniel held his ground, his eyes were terrified when they sought Jack's. Daniel always looked more vulnerable without his glasses, maybe because Jack knew that he was half-blind without them.

"It's just the Hawk I radioed for," Jack said, keeping his posture relaxed.

Daniel relaxed again but still looked haunted.

_Jesus,_ Jack thought, _what'd they do them, and how many beers is going to take to get him to talk about it?_

Bill was another matter. He'd probably talk for hours to whatever shrink they parked him in front of. Daniel would just retreat. Even now Jack could see the layers of painful memory curling in on each other and withdrawing from the surface.

Jack understood. He did much the same thing himself. But his insides were made of sterner stuff than Daniel's and could take it, contain whatever he shoved in there. Daniel's insides had the consistency of marshmallow fluff and eventually all this stuff would eat its way out.

Jack was suddenly glad he had brought Jillian.

The copter landed in a whirlwind of dust, noise and flying debris. Two medics exited immediately, followed by another figure.

"Oh, Daniel," Jack said, as if just remembering, "I brought you a present."

Daniel frowned at him and squinted at the approaching personnel. She was farther away than Jack had thought she'd be when Daniel recognized her. Either his vision was better than Jack thought, or he'd know Jillian in the dark and fog.

"Jill," he breathed.

The color briefly drained from his face and then flooded it again, as if his heart had leapt straight out of his chest and into his brain.

Daniel attempted to take a step forward and almost went down on his nose in the dirt. Apparently the morphine drip Jack had subjected him to earlier had taken enough of the edge off the pain for Daniel to forget he only had one good leg at the moment. (Jack's demand that Daniel lay down on the cot in the hut and submit to the drip hadn't resulted in the shouting match Jack had anticipated, which still had the Col worried.)

Jillian, on the other hand, was fully functional and running for him.

Jack had a split second to shout, "Careful!" just before she barreled into Daniel and flung both arms around his neck.

Somehow, even high on painkillers, Daniel managed to stay on his feet, wrap his free arm around her waist and hold her for a moment.

"_Daniel,"_ it might have been a sob but when Jillian tilted her head back to look up at him, her eyes were dry.

"God, Jill, come on, sweetheart, I'm glad to see you too but I'm gross," he was trying to ease back from her.

She wouldn't let him go. "Yeah, you are. You're also the best thing I've seen in days."

Daniel's expression was misty. He was looking at Jillian but he directed his next words to Jack.

"God damn it, Jack, what is she doing here?"

"Wasn't my idea," Jack aid, quickly. "I was compelled by forces beyond my control."

Daniel threw him a narrow look then and Jack went on, "Seriously, I have no control over her! Do you?"

Daniel was gazing at Jillian as if the heavens had opened and rained down his heart's deepest desire just for him. It was a look full of more desperate longing than the one he had given the canteen of warm water Jack had handed him.

"No," he admitted, sighing softly and shaking his head, "I don't."

Daniel leaned in and gently rubbed his bristly cheek against hers and very softly kissed her.

Jack moved away from them, looked back at Burke – who was grinning at Jillian in a particularly lecherous way – grabbed Burke's collar and hauled him away too. Bill Lee fell in beside them.

"Did you bring me a present?" Bill asked, sounding whiny.

"There's a nice fruit basket back at the Embassy," Jack quipped.

Bill frowned. Petulantly he grumbled,

"I like Dr. Jackson's present better."

(0)


	61. Chapter 61

**This will wrap up the missing scenes from Evolution 1 and 2.**

**Ascension appears to be the gift that keeps on giving. I'm just starting to realize how very high maintenance Daniel really is. (I resist the idea of Jillian ever getting seriously hurt and Daniel needing to be there for her because it seems like such a 'Mary Sue' plot line, but geez, I'm thinking it's just his damn turn to be there for her for once! Let _him_ be the one wondering if she was alive... It's a thought, I'll see what the Muse does with it.)**

**There were a lot of things about Daniel's 'descension' that I thought were never addressed, and in the context of a 45 minute weekly action-adventure they probably couldn't be. So I put them here.**

**(0)**

Jillian felt him stop trying almost before he had; and he knew she felt it. Seemingly on the brink, just about to tumble over the edge into a brutal climax, he had simply gone still beneath her, all the heart gone out of him suddenly. She leaned over and nuzzled her way along his cheek to his mouth and lightly kissed his lips.

It was a question.

Daniel slid both hands down her sides to her hips, pressed back and down and shifted a little to prove he was still hard.

_You go on. _It was his answer.

They had reached a point in their relationship where Jillian didn't really care about the whole 'not without you' mentality. It happened only rarely, and it was usually Jillian who was hesitant and unsure. But she was also talented enough to bring him to climax with very little effort, even in those times. He inevitably, wouldn't let it go, offering his mouth afterwards, or his hands (and he was ridiculously good with both); or they'd wake up later, after he had recovered, and he'd make her come so hard she'd have to muffle her cries into his neck so that the entire SGC, or the neighbors down the street, didn't hear.

But this time there was something different in the way he had stopped.

Jillian went slack on top of him, pressed a hand to the side of his face and kissed the corner of his mouth.

"'S all right," she murmured and rolled off of him, onto her side.

Gathering blankets and covering them first, she curled up beside him. She put one leg carefully over his, mindful of his wounded thigh.

"'M sorry," he murmured.

"You didn't do anything."

"Neither of us did," he said in a voice deep with self-recrimination and guilt.

"It's still early," she said, snuggling closer and stroking her fingers down his chest and over his abs.

"I'm not sure, Jill," he said, staring up at the ceiling in the dim light from the touch lamp they used in their quarters. Without it, they would be plunged into a kind of cave-darkness that was thick and oppressive and eh had needed to see her.

He sat up abruptly, untangling from her, and Jillian though maybe he was going to get out of bed but then realized he still couldn't without his crutches. His sigh was heavy and he ran a hand over his hair and then rubbed the back ofhis neck.

"Is your leg bothering you?"

He rubbed distractedly at the bandage and shook his head.

"No."

Jillian sat up, tucked one leg under her body, pressed the other against his back and wrapped her arms around his waist. She kissed the sensitive space between his shoulder blades and then rested her cheek there.

"You just got out of the infirmary," she said, "There's no hurry."

He heard the edge of concern in her voice. The whole thing had been his idea in the first place. His need to hold and touch her had been overwhelming. Brilliant, strong and capable, with quick-witted humor and laughter that danced like dust specks in sunlight, sparkling eyes, kind, compassionate, honest to a fault, Daniel was never ever any happier than when he was holding Jillian in his arms, dancing or in bed. He had teased and tormented her until she was writhing and then he'd been forced to let her take the lead, since he still couldn't take any weight on his leg.

She rubbed her cheek and her silky hair against his back.

"Do you want to try a different position?" she asked. "We could both sit up."

He knew what she was thinking. Hathor had taken him against his will, in this very room (though not on this mattress; he'd had that changed out immediately). Even with Jillian it had been difficult to take that position in the beginning – flat on his back with her riding him. But she always made certain he could move, switch them whenever he liked. Jillian never took control completely away from him.

But it still didn't help. Sometimes the rage overtook him again, the memory having come back without the healing that had taken years, the mute fury that he had somehow managed to father a tubful of parasitic aliens that he hated passionately but had never created a child with Sha're in an entire year of trying.

It had taken Apophis to do that... Daniel pushed the thought away with some force. He was confused enough right now without dredging all that up.

And he had believed with all his being that he would never be able to have a woman on top of him ever again.

His wound had altered that tonight. There had literally been no way for him to move, not without pain. Jillian had been doing everything right – moving the way he liked with that incredible, sensual hip roll she had learned in Middle Eastern dance, the slow horizontal figure eight, sometimes the rapid forward roll. _God_, she was amazing. It had felt wonderful and pressure had built and built but it was like there was some safety valve in his head that he couldn't switch off. The litany of _oh god so good, now, now now _had been over ridden by something inside him screaming in panic _don't...don't….don't!_

But he knew it didn't have anything to do with a rape that had happened almost five years ago. Jillian had purged him of that particular demon.

"No," he breathed, then, "Maybe...I... I don't know. It's not you."

"I don't think you were as ready to start as I was."

Daniel lifted one shoulder in a listless shrug. Normally he was ready the moment he looked into her eyes and saw them dilate with desire. Just thinking about touching her peach soft skin made him hard.

She didn't move but continued to hold him and rest against him and loan him her warmth.

"Maybe we should get out from under the mountain," she suggested, "Do you want to go home?"

"Not at this hour," he shook his head.

But something in the back of his mind was craving more space, something more open. Something was urging him to stand on their deck, under the stars and feel the breeze on his face. He shivered because that 'something' scared the hell out of him.

Jillian misunderstood.

"_God_, _bǎobèi_, what did they do to you?" she murmured.

Daniel shifted around on the bed and winced a little as his leg moved across the sheets. He cradled the side of her face in his hand and answered,

"I think it's what I did to myself."

Her brows furrowed and her lips parted in question.

"I don't know what you mean,' she said.

Daniel closed his eyes and tipped his head back the way he did when he was trying to maintain his composure through anger or pain. He sighed again.

"I don't want to scare you," he replied.

"Don't keep things from me," she begged, "Daniel, please don't start doing that."

Daniel carded his fingers through her disheveled hair and then watched it fall like watered silk, catching gold and russet in the dim light.

"Sometimes I remember being Ascended," he admitted, softly.

She inhaled in surprise and he went on quickly,

"Not the knowledge …not anything that would be actually useful," he rolled his eyes and shook his head. Jillian squeezed his hand. Considering that same knowledge had almost killed Jack, Jillian was just as glad Daniel could never remember it.

"What do you remember?"

"The….the freedom_,_ the utter, limitless, unrestrained _freedom_,_" _he said and the longing in his voice made her shiver.

He felt the chill go through her and fixed her with a penetrating deep blue stare.

"See? I'm scaring you!"

"No, Daniel," she said, "Go on. I need to understand."

"Do you see the light in this room?"

"Yes."

"I used to be that energy, limitless. I think…I think sometimes I remember being able to stretch from one end of the galaxy to the other and even beyond. I could fill every corner of the galaxy the way that light fills the room," he shook his head, "and….and, _god, Jill….."_

"Tell me," she urged.

"It's what I used to survive it," when she looked puzzled he clarified, "what happened to me in Nicaragua. I…I … separated from my physical form, let myself go somewhere else. I thought at first I was just passing out, but then I realized I was doing it on purpose, leaving, preparing to Ascend again to escape and….." He pulled her closer, until their foreheads touched, "I was prepared to stay there except for one thing."

"What?"

"_You,"_ he said with a tremor of longing so deep and so sincere she couldn't doubt it, "…Knowing what it would do to you and simply being _unable _to leave you again."

Jillian put her arms around his neck. "Daniel," she whispered.

"I love you," he said, "I can't do that to you again, not willingly. I survived. I didn't tell them anything and I hardly remember any of it. I remember coming back into my body finally and thinking I'd never hurt like that, ever; but the pain told me I was still here… here for you and then part of me drifted away from it again."

"Okay," she said slowly, "and what does this have to do with right now, with tonight?"

"Two days of morphine in the infirmary and then Jack dragged me to his place and got me just drunk enough to tell him what I remembered and I've had the most incredible drug-induced dreams and….and now…. I'm not sure I feel connected completely. I still feel like there's a part of me that didn't come back completely."

He broke off and leaned back to look at her again.

"I remember Ascending, what it felt like. All of this, what I went through, it made me _remember_."

Daniel was gazing off into some distance only he could see.

"And?" she prompted.

"It's exultant," he whispered, "it's joyous and triumphant … it's soul shatteringly breathtakingly amazing and the only thing close to it on this earth, Jillian, at least for me, is climaxing while making love to you."

Jillian inhaled and blinked back tears.

"That's the sweetest and most incredible thing you've ever said to me," she whispered back, "but it doesn't explain why you would be resisting it now."

His voice became fierce and scared and passionate as he repeated.

"Because it's been two days of morphine and alcohol and days before that of trying to stay disconnected from this form, from this reality, from this _existence_ and now …now I just …I'm not sure…_god!_ Jillian, what if I let go entirely? Feeling like _that…._again. I still _hurt _and part of me remembers. What if I run from it, or _want_ to run from it. I…I…._damn, _Jillian, I want you, I do. I just….."

Daniel shivered hard suddenly, suppressed energy surging forward as if there really was a part of him that wanted to abandon his body, spread out into the light, connect with Ascension, and lift joyously off into the greater universe. He looked into her eyes, his gaze speaking more eloquently of the conflict than his words.

_Help me….._

"Hey," she said and stopped him by kissing him, desperately.

Jillian moved in front of him, nudged his legs apart so that she could sit between them. She started massaging the tense muscles in his neck and kept at it in the silence until he groaned and relaxed a little.

"You've always been a free spirit, baby," she murmured and her fingers working the loosing muscles of his shoulders rode the cadence of her rich contralto voice. "This isn't anything new. You've always been …uncontained, out of the box. You've always wanted to know what was over the next ridge, around the next bend. You want _experience_ and you want it _now_. But you need security too, you need a _home._ You didn't leave me when you were being tortured. You didn't even leave me before because you had any choice. I don't think you're going to do it while we're making love."

Her hands slid down to his forearms and his head dropped on her shoulder. He was breathing slowly, eyes closed, clinging to the sound of her voice. Jillian had never lied to him. Her voice sang to him and cried out his name and argued with him and laughed and told him how much she loved him.

_To hear your voice is pomegranate wine to me, I draw life from hearing it, _Daniel thought.

"You're the same restless energy you've always been and for thirty eight years you've kept it all in _this_ form. Be with me now, be _present_. Feel _this. _Feel _us_."

Jillian took his hand and placed it over her beating heart.

"Do you feel that?" The husky whisper made him shiver, "That's for you. My heart beats for you and you alone. Who does yours beat for Daniel?"

She kissed his neck, starting at his jaw and ending where his throat flowed into his shoulder. She nuzzled him, licked at the pulse point above his collar bone. She felt more than heard the soft groan he made and then Daniel sighed, a soft breath of air against her shoulder.

"You," he answered.

She kissed him sweetly.

"I don't remember being able to do this Ascended," he said, softly.

"Pure energy is hard to kiss," she smiled. "You're physical form is much more appealing."

"Yeah?" he seemed surprised.

"Oh yeah, babe." She got a mischievous, seductive smile on her face that caused him a small thrill of alarm. "Nothing quite says 'made for her pleasure' the way your body does."

He laughed and some of the icey tension drained out of him.

_A gift, love. No words. Come closer and look, i__t's all me._

"You said we saw each other when I was Ascended," he prompted and then hissed a soft breath through his teeth when Jillian ran her nails over his chest and followed them with her kisses.

"We did."

"But we couldn't touch."

"Never."

Her soft, wet mouth had made it past his ribs and over his abs and down to his groin. The edges of her satin hair trailed over his thighs.

"Jill,' his voice hitched and stuttered.

"We _are_ physical, Daniel. It's part of our experience. Let me show you." When she spoke it caused a wash of hot breath over his cock.

"_Oh my god."_

Lick. Touch. Deft fingers teasing his balls…..

"Don't leave me," she said before filling her mouth with him.

Stars collided and expanded behind his eyes and then narrowed to her and only her. She was tender and wet and hot and he was deep, so deep, and hard again and something was still urgently whispering _stop stop stop._ He whimpered and tried to back away but she wouldn't let him.

She wrapped her fingers around him and held him still, pressure exactly where he needed it, exactly how he needed and then she was using her lips and tongue to create friction again.

"Stay with me, baby," she said, with another warm rush of air. Her hand caressed his uninjured thigh, lovingly stroked over the hard quad muscles and then up so that her fingers could tease the dividing line between his balls.

"_Oh,"_ he groaned and then another more helpless, "_Ohh."_

His hands fluttered over her, over her hair and her neck and her back and down her arm, as if he couldn't settle on a place to touch her first.

"Still good?" she asked.

"Yes," he choked, "_Yes…yes….oh god…good… Jill…so good_."

It _was_ good and he wanted it and a part of him was screaming _not yet not yet not like this_ while the part of him that was screaming _never never never _gradually faded away.

When her mouth left him he gasped. Her hand stayed though, stroking relentlessly, keeping him on the edge.

"Lay back," she said.

He didn't usually take orders without questioning, but he took this one. She slid one knee across his lower belly and then paused for just a moment before straddling him.

"Yes?" she asked and her eyes were anxious.

He nodded.

She slid down and he watched her expression dissolve into pure bliss. She took him all the way, which always startled him, and rocked gently for a moment, relishing the feel of him so deep, the fullness. She held still and contracted around him, watching his face, until he tossed his head back on the pillow and clenched his teeth.

She leaned forward and touched his face with her fingertips.

"Still with me?" she whispered.

"Yes."

His hot, bright blue eyes ran over her body, his hands shifting to cherish the feel of her breasts. She lifted up onto her knees, freeing his hips.

"You do it," she said and her voice was low and husky and a little breathless, the way it always was when she gave orders in bed.

"I can't!" he protested.

"Yes, you can." She moved almost onto her knees to give him room. "Stay with me, _in_ me, Daniel."

_God, she's beautiful, _he thought. He was hypnotized by her now, by the sight of her impaled on him that he had not been able to see at all before, when he had been disconnected and lost. Her hair was ruffled and her creamy skin was flushed and her eyes were smoky and she was the most damned erotic thing he had ever seen.

He pushed up into her, slow and easy at first, waiting for the flash of pain from his thigh that would make him stop; or worse, the siren call of Ascension whispering its seductive urge to continue.

When both remained silent and all he could feel was Jillian, he used the other leg and the leverage of his shoulders to drive up and forward. His hand slid down her sides, over her hips, outlining her lovely feminine form on the way down to rest on her thighs.

It was joyful, glorious, visceral and powerful and fierce - nerves firing in complex arrays, a cascade of emotion, a rush of physical energy. He caught a rhythm at last and Jillian didn't move, letting him do all the work.

And suddenly Daniel laughed, breathless and happy, because this was how it should feel, this was how everything should be, clinging to the precipice of climax because it felt so good to be there and to know she was with him and what possible good was it to be able to stretch endlessly across a galaxy if there was no one beside him, no one with him and no one to pour his bright and endless energy into?

As a very wise man had said to him, _no prize is worth attaining if you can never share it….._

And Jillian laughed with him, because his joy was infectious, and said, "_Oh god, baby, I can't wait any more... need to come."_

"_Me, too,"_ he laughed again, low and husky.

"_Now_," she whispered, "_now, now, oh_ god, _baby_, _Daniel, please_" and he spiraled the pad of his thumb in between her thighs and pushed and she was coming, clenching on his rigid cock, driving down onto it as hard as she could, groping blindly for his right hand to hold her steady against the throbbing sensation his left hand was delivering.

She cried out in transcendental pleasure, lost in hard spasms, trembling around and above him, crushing their interlinked fingers. He could feel the band of her engagement ring digging into his skin. He was never more aware of how strong she was than when she was climaxing, her beautiful mouth open, her long lashes closed over flushed cheeks.

The drenched heat of her, rippling contractions squeezing him, her skin warm under his hands all collided. He reached up and dragged her down, wrapping his arms around her with desperate strength.

"_Hold me,"_ he begged and when she did, feeling safe in her embrace, he climaxed so hard it was almost painful but it felt like his body announcing with uncontained joy that it was _alive_ and he held Jillian tight and she held him back and he didn't fly into a million pieces of bright energy after all.

"_Yes, yes,"_ he panted,"_Jill, Jill, baby, oh god."_

Jillian stroked him and soothed him as they both eased down and then she moved off him and they both groaned a little at the separation as she collapsed on her side and cuddled up against him. He turned enough to look down into her face and found her gazing back with adoring sweetness. She looked up into his glazed eyes with naked, unguarded love.

He was holding her too tight but she didn't protest. She hugged back, allowing him to stay on his back because of his leg, but snuggled up as close as she could get. Daniel reached for her left hand, trapped somewhere between them. Lifting it, he ran his fingers lightly down her ring finger and stroked over the diamond ring that had been in his family for two generations.

"You're still here," she observed, and a small but utterly delicious smile curved the corners of her mouth.

"I am," he agreed.

"Completely?"

"Yes."

"Forever."

Daniel kissed the top of head.

"Yes, _bǎobèi,_ forever."

(0)

The poetry Daniel is thinking of in this is from an Egyptian love poem called the Flower Poem, author unknown.


	62. Chapter 62

**After the events of Grace, pretty sure it slots in there well. Daniel and Jillian return to 657 to further investigate the giant stone map.**

**I never thought that paying attention in AP history class would actually pay off someday….**

**(0)**

"But the Indus valley civilization starts at almost the exact same time the Pharaoh Khufu died, when the Great Pyramid was finished."

"You think that's significant?" Jillian asked.

"I think it should be," Daniel said, "Clearly the Goa'uld were already on Earth at that point. Why is the Indus script so dramatically different from Egyptian hieroglyphs?"

"It doesn't mean the Goa'uld had moved into what is now Pakistan," Jillian said, "It doesn't prove that the Indus script is anything but proto-writing by the early indigenous people of the Harappa period."

"But the writing we've found here disproves that," Daniel argued, "It's nearly identical to the Indus script, Jill and everything on that map indicates this is true writing. The symbols are nearly identical but the map has the logographic-syllabic style of the other Bronze Age writing systems."

Jillian picked up a photograph of the text on the map and sat back in the camp chair to study it.

"What if it's written boustrophedonically?" she asked, pushing her glasses up her nose.

When Daniel didn't answer she looked up and found him grinning at her with that bemused, love struck expression she had come to know.

"What?"

"Say that again," he urged in a completely unprofessional, velvet voice.

Jillian grinned back and let her lovely voice drop seductively. "Boustrophedonically."

Daniel strolled around the table towards her, looking tall and athletic and impossibly virile.

"Say it again," he repeated.

Jillian reached up and grasped a handful of his desert tan t-shirt. She pulled him down so that his face was inches from hers.

"Boustrophedonically," she whispered, sensual and teasing all at the same drawing out the syllables ads if she was saying something erotic. She kissed his ear and then bit his earlobe, "You're only one I know whose sexual turn on is long words, Jackson."

"Just when you say them," he answered.

He was tilting her chin up and moving in for what promised to be a kiss of pure delight when sunlight flooded in through the tent flap as it opened.

"_Jesus,_ do you two ever get any _work_ done?" Gerald Mallory demanded. "Between the two of you staring moon-eyed at each other all the time and Lawrence following Annie around like a duck on a June bug it's no wonder we haven't made any progress on this damned rock."

Daniel and Jillian made eye contact and Daniel mouthed, 'duck on a June bug' with his eyebrows raised quizzically.

"He's from the South," Jillian explained in a conspiratorial whisper that she knew Mal could hear.

Daniel skipped the deep kiss he had begun, made do with a swift touch of his lips to hers and straightened up, not exactly grinning but still looking bemused.

"Hey, Mal," Jillian said, utterly unconcerned, "Rain stop yet?"

"Finally," Mal said, with a deep grunt of dissatisfaction. "Didn't think it was ever going to let up for a while there."

"Coming down like cow pee on a flat rock?" Daniel asked.

Mallory stared at him for a minute. Jillian gaped and Daniel shot her a wink and a grin.

"What?" Daniel asked, "Southern is just a dialect of English. I just needed a frame of reference, which is not unlike our dilemma with this language."

Jillian laughed and shook her head.

Mallory took his military cap off, scratched at his head for a moment and he didn't exactly grin at Daniel but he was having to make an effort not to.

"They're uncovering the grave site," Mal said, "I was hoping you'd come take a look at it, Dr. Jackson."

"Mal, for gods' sake, it's _Daniel,"_ he said, with more than a touch of exasperation.

"Sure thing, Dr. Jackson," Mal answered. "You coming?"

Jillian stood up.

"I'll come too."

Daniel shot her a look with more than a little concern. "You sure?"

"Yeah," she answered but it didn't make Daniel feel any better. She sounded like she was going to force herself to go.

Daniel stepped through the tent flap and paused to inhale, his eyes closed in bliss. The desert after the rain – nothing like it, except maybe Jillian…..

Jillian paused with him, though Mallory continued marching across the camp towards the pit.

"What is it with you and deserts?" she asked, affectionately.

Daniel opened his eyes and gestured.

"_Look_, Jill," he said.

Around them patches of green had exploded like fireworks, wild flowers bursting forth with color.

"Those plants might have been waiting _decades _for the rain. It's incredible. I always thought the deserts could teach me a lot about patience."

Jillian shook her head. "The deserts didn't teach you a damn thing about patience," she said, but still loving, still gentle, "The deserts taught you tenacity."

Daniel looked down at the sand for a moment, and then back at her without lifting his head at all, just peered at her over the top of his glasses.

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked.

"No, and neither is rain the desert apparently," she said, as they started walking again, "at least it makes it look not quite so forbidding."

"Come on," Daniel pleaded, "Tell me last night wasn't wonderful?"

"Last night would have been wonderful no matter what tent we were occupying," she answered, "Not being able to make a sound brings a whole new dimension to having sex."

"Not that!" He said and when she gave him a questioning and borderline-hostile look he amended quickly, "Well, yeah that! But that's always wonderful, spectacular, mind-altering…."

His voice trailed off as his brain cells made an abrupt left turn to remember it, the way her teeth had sunk into his shoulder, the mark it had left, so good, so incredible he had been reduced to groaning, _oh, fuck, Jillian _into a pillow. He suspected his fingermarks were still embedded in it.

"No," he said, gathering his scattered thoughts with effort, "I meant before, the campfire, the sing along…."

Jillian smiled at him. The exploration of 657 had turned into a major excavation with the discovery of a long, flat roofed building that had been buried when the local volcano exploded countless ages before. At best guess it had been some kind of research lab, filled with dust-covered and decaying metal objects whose purpose was, at the moment, unfathomable; and mostly unfathomable because the language continued to elude the two best linguists currently on the SGC payroll. The Prometheus had arrived with heavy machinery to unbury the rest of the site and the air rang during the day with the sound of equipment and construction and buzzed with the movement of Army Corp of Engineer and SGC personnel.

Daniel and Jillian were kept away from it for the most part, charged with breaking what appeared to be an unbreakable code.

But at night the camp grew quiet in the desert air, with the single moon scything the dark, star-strewn sky and groups broke up into scattered campfires filled with laughter and music and song, card games and board games and even the occasional video game until battery power ran low.

The SGC teams tended to gather at their own fire. SG8 had picked up Scotty's girlfriend – Anani Kinimaka, whose name, dark eyes, tan skin and ramrod-straight fall of black hair all spoke of her Pacific Island heritage. Annie was a forensic anthropologist and had been called in when the mass grave had been uncovered. Heading the archaeology and anthropology teams on this mission, Daniel had been just as glad to hand the whole grave over to her. Scotty had pretty much glued himself to her side; his sun-bleached blonde Norwegian heritage a sharp contrast to her, but they seemed pretty besotted with each other.

A condition that had Mallory about ready to chew glass but he was being indulgent. He'd only grabbed Scotty by the collar about a dozen times and hauled him off to do something besides carry Annie's notepad around, growling, "Let's go, California, you got more important chores to do."

And SG-1 was currently minus Major Carter, who had left with the Prometheus to continue playing with the new hyperdrive system, and Colonel O'Neill who was utterly bored and underfoot and had left earlier in the week complaining he didn't feel well. Jillian had been concerned at first until Daniel had reassured her.

_It's ok, he's just got a fever._

_Well, that doesn't sound good._

_Oh, no, we've seen it before. It's a solid case of 'largemouth bass fever', no immunity and there's only one cure….._

_Poor Teal'c… no wonder he begged to stay here, even with nothing to shoot at._

Jillian suspected that Mallory would have stood close enough to Jack to catch the same fever if the whole mission wasn't under his command. She appreciated the campfire nights. She knew he needed to relax.

Scotty had brought his guitar and the nights almost always dissolved into song at some point. He had a great voice and confessed that at one point – like every kid growing up in California – he'd wanted to be the next lead singer in a boy band. He and Jillian sang together often enough that Daniel figured out SG8 must do this a lot when stuck overnight off world; though of course Scotty wouldn't have his guitar. Rusty Davidson had asked for something 'classic' and not 'all this pop stuff' which sent Scotty and Jillian into a laughing rendition of "Take Me Home, Country Roads" and Mallory complaining that Jillian had only been two years old when that song was popular and Scotty hadn't even been _born._ Then the whole evening had become a karaoke John Denver marathon.

"Yeah," she said, finally, slipped her hand in his and squeezed, "All of last night was pretty wonderful. But it would have been just as wonderful on a beach with the ocean whispering in the background."

"Like on 901?" He asked.

"Yeah, just like those night on 901," Jillian grinned happily and pressed her cheek against his forearm.

The mass grave was a different sight after the rain. The Army Corp of Engineers had excavated a trench roughly 7 feet deep by 7 feet across by 20 feet long. Before the rain hit, they had covered the bottom with tarps to protect the bodies, skeletons really.

It had been a hard find. The remains appeared to cross the spectrum of age. The bones were varied, sometimes tiny, or heavily twisted with arthritis, and at the joints. Some skulls were missing teeth from old age or were small with teeth in various stages of growing through. Many bore marks of violence: fractures, cuts, small round holes….

But they had all died in the pit and been covered over. None of them had been brought here and gently buried.

Jillian's mood changed the closer to the pit that they got. Daniel was surprised they were even considering continuing to work in it before the sun had a chance to dry it out. Water had covered the tarp during the downpour and was only starting to evaporate away. The bottom had become tacky, muddy and slick, pooling into puddles. The sides were weeping like some enormous wound. Today it felt more like a grave than the hole in the ground he knew Jillian had deluded herself into thinking it was.

Annie was already in the bottom, crouched beside a skeleton, making notes on her yellow pad. Scotty was off to one side with Mallory, several hundred yards away from the noise of the excavators, under a canopy, looking at a computer screen with images of the entire grave.

Jillian paused on the edge of the pit, folded her arms across her waist and stared. Her previous happiness seemed to have slipped away like grains of sand through spread fingers. She found the pit unbearable. The first night after the discovery of the first few bodies she had woken up thrashing, gasping _no no_ and he'd had to hold her for some time before she calmed down.

He put his arm around her shoulders now.

"There's a reason we didn't pick forensic anthropology, _mijn liefje_," he said, softly, "Neither of us has the heart for it."

"There are children down there," she choked out, "Babies."

"I know," he said, hugging her, nuzzling her ear.

Jillian, Daniel had discovered, loved children.

"It doesn't mean they were murdered, Jill," he went on. "There could have been a plague."

"They fell where they died, Daniel," she pointed out to him, unwilling to let him sugar coat the truth, even if she loved him for it, "There are adults on top of children, trying to protect them…."

Daniel turned her around and wrapped both arms around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. Her hands came to rest on his hips, lightly, holding onto his strength.

Daniel looked over the top of her head at the pit and frowned at the increasingly heavy streams of water weeping down the sides of the saturated pit. He hugged her once, kissed her again and stood her back from him.

"Jill, I'm going to go tell Mal to shut this down. No one should be in that pit right now. It's soaked."

She saw the determination and anxiety in his eyes so she nodded.

"Get Annie out of there, okay? Get everyone out if you can."

"Sure."

Daniel strode away from her in the direction of the canopy under which Mallory stood. He passed Scotty, who was walking towards her, spoke to him briefly and then they went their separate ways. Jillian sidled up to the edge of the pit and called,

"Annie!"

After that everything happened in slow motion, or seemed to. Jillian looked up when a gushing noise caught her attention and saw water pouring out of the wall opposite her as someone had turned on a hose. One of the excavators toppled over as the ground gave way beneath it and Jillian was horrified to see Teal'c leaping from the cab, hitting the ground and rolling away from the pit. Annie joined the panicked forensic team running towards the ladders, terror etched on their faces. Jillian saw her hit the ladder and start climbing just as the perpendicular wall of the trench started to buckle sliding inward at the bottom while the top curled over like a wave.

On the top of the pit the mounds of dirt that had been piled up during the digging started to slide forward as the ground began to collapse. The members of the forensic team that had been working the farthest from the ladders were buried instantly.

Scotty ran past her in a blur of motion, screaming Annie's name. Jillian was dimly aware of Daniel's distant voice screaming her name as she started backing away from the disintegrating pit. Horrified she watched Scotty throw himself into the pit above the ladders, mud swallowing him.

The ground under her boots turned to water. Jillian turned and tried to run but there was nothing where the packed desert sand used to be and she went down in a torrent of mud and liquid. Muck and water and debris surged around her and pulled her into the pit as the walls all along the grave collapsed.

She wanted to scream for Daniel, knew better than to open her mouth, but inside she was shrieking.

In the next moment, she was slammed hard into something that felt like the cornerstone of the earth. Pain exploded in her head and then there was nothing.

(0)

TBC

mijn liefje – my sweetheart in Dutch.


	63. Chapter 63

Footsteps in the corridor were nothing unusual. Footsteps and voices, even laughter, had been on the periphery of his awareness for the entire day that he had spent in the infirmary. Then a particular tread caught his attention and he turned away from Jillian for the first time in hours. The change caused a twinge in the muscles of his neck, but he fixed his eyes on the door and _knew_ who was coming down the hall towards him.

So he felt nothing at all but relief when it was Jack who appeared in the doorway, two coffee cups in his hand and wearing that expression on his face that sent two messages at the same time – _What the hell_ and _It's going to be okay now._

"Catch anything?" Daniel asked, lightly.

"Barely got unpacked," Jack answered.

He came in the room and handed Daniel one of the cups, making note of the trash can full of discarded cups next to him even as he did. Daniel had apparently been self-medicating with his drug of choice for quite some time. Jack swept Daniel with an appraising look. He looked like hell but Jack doubted he'd be able to get him to leave so he let it go.

There were two beds in the room. One was empty; the other held Jillian.

Jack dragged a chair from beside the empty bed and sat down next to Daniel.

"What the hell happened, Daniel?"

Blue eyes looked up at him in surprise.

"You don't know?"

"Oh there's a mound of reports," Jack drawled, with a dismissive wave of his hand, "Thought you'd save me the effort."

Daniel didn't bother making eye contact. They both knew Jack was just trying to get him to talk; and if Daniel was honest he needed the distraction. Two days of watching Jillian lie motionless in a hospital bed – pierced by IV lines, one long elegant arm immobilized in a cast, a bandage on the left side of her head, boneless and unmoving in her drugged sleep except for the rise and fall of her breathing – with only the constant rhythm of her heart monitor as company had been more harrowing than Daniel could ever have imagined.

He squirmed in the uncomfortable chair, sipped cautiously at the steaming coffee – which was exactly the way he liked it and it still seemed tasteless.

"It was the hard rain," Daniel began, "Deserts are mostly sand."

He stopped when Jillian appeared to flinch slightly, possibly at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah, I know that," Jack said, "I've been in a few. So what _happened?"_

"The…the ground," Daniel stopped again, "It's basic geology, Jack. It got over saturated and the pit interrupted the underground run off. Water poured in and it was like trying to dig a hole at the beach. Once it started filling up, there was no stopping it."

Jack nodded but he was wearing that fierce expression that betrayed the intelligence he usually tried to hide.

"We lost 2 members of the forensics team, including the team leader . Annie and Scotty are still in ICU, in a coma," Daniel's eyes went glazed and unfocused," They pulled Scotty out and he was holding onto her and wouldn't let go, so they had to drag them out together. Scotty…, He wasn't breathing when they pulled them out, neither of them were. Rusty says Scotty can hold his breath like a dolphin when he needs to, so we don't know how long they were without oxygen."

Daniel stopped talking and focused on Jillian again, seeing the moments after the collapse in horrible detail. It had taken both he and Teal'c to pull her out. Daniel wasn't sure how Teal'c had appeared so quickly, but he was suddenly there at the top of the disintegrating slope. Daniel had Jillian by her arm, the only thing he could still see, but they were both being pulled under by the relentless landslide. Teal'c had grabbed both Daniel and Jillian around the waist, hauled both back up to the surface. When Daniel finally got his feet under again, they had both struggled against the squelching mud to get Jillian to safety. She'd been unrecognizable, covered in filth, drowning in mud. Her left arm was broken. Her left shoulder and hip had dislocated and Daniel had come to believe that he and Teal'c had caused that damage trying to free her from the clinging muck.

Two of her ribs were broken and Daniel knew he had broken at least one of them doing CPR. He had gotten her to start breathing, pouring the life that belonged to her back into her with sheer strength of will. Then he had forced the water and mud out of her lungs and watched her cough and vomit violently, crying out in pain. She had fainted in his arms after that and he had nearly wept with fear and relief.

He'd held her until the medics got to them, keeping pressure on the bleeding wound on the side of her head while his heart shattered into tiny little pieces. He hadn't left her until they handed her off to Fraiser and the medical team. He hadn't wanted to leave even then but Teal'c had forced him. Daniel knew that Teal'c was perfectly capable of physically over powering him if the Jaffa chose to do so. But after years on the same team, Teal'c had come to realize that Daniel was more easily persuaded with words.

_When she wakes, it will not help her to see you covered in mud and blood, Daniel Jackson._

The logic of that was too compelling to deny. So he had gotten cleaned up and paced the infirmary until Janet had come to tell him that Jillian would be fine.

Eventually.

Feeling Jack's steady stare boring into his skull, Daniel reported all of that to him in a distracted voice that indicated he was emotionally separated from it. The only way to get through it was to pretend it was all happening to someone else.

When he stopped talking again, Jack slid one booted foot across the floor and kicked Daniel lightly in the ankle.

"So she's going to be all right?"

"Yeah," Daniel answered, but his voice trembled with a whisper of doubt, "There's an infection in her lungs from whatever she swallowed and the arm will have to heal. "

"And?" Jack prompted.

Daniel looked at him. "And what?"

"Something more than that is bothering you."

A little more color drained out of Daniel's face, which Jack would have bet wasn't possible.

"Janet said," and here he paused to take a long shaky breath, "Janet said she might have some memory loss; that she might not remember the accident, or…."

_Ah,_ Jack thought, _or who she is, or worse, who _he_ is….._

Out loud he said, "The Universe isn't that cruel, Daniel."

"Karma's a bitch, Jack," Daniel murmured.

Jack let it go. Daniel would be inconsolable until she woke up and knew who he was. He sought a distraction instead.

"What were they doing in the pit, Daniel? Who cleared it?"

Daniel shook his head, "No one, or at least no one I know of. Dr. Radford was down there. He was the head of the forensic team?" he paused to wait for Jack's nod of recognition. "He's one of the people we lost. We'll have to wait for someone else from the team to wake up and tell us why they were down there without some kind of authorization."

Jack frowned. "Radford was a bit of an arrogant hot head as I remember?"

O'Neill remembered the guy a little bit too well – a tall older man with thinning gray hair and a British accent who had refused to call Daniel anything but 'Jackson' in the most scathing tone. Okay, Daniel could be a pain the ass without trying but he had earned the title 'doctor' three times over, and he hadn't done anything in the Stargate program to warrant the same contemptuous dismissal he often got out in the 'real world.' Radford had set Jack's teeth on edge but it wasn't any reason to wish the man dead.

"Mallory didn't know anyone was down there already," Daniel went on, "He asked Teal'c to go move the excavator away from the edge because it looked unstable. He was checking out the computer images of the dig and the forensic team took it upon themselves to go uncover the bodies so everything could start drying out. Mal had just decided to shut it down and sent Scotty to tell them when all hell broke loose."

Jack studied Daniel closely, wondering if he realized that it could just as easily be he and Jillian lying unresponsive in the ICU. Jack held absolutely still to resist the shiver that wanted to tickle at his spine. He'd just gotten done sitting next to Carter while she recovered. The last thing he wanted to do was sit with Daniel now too.

At that moment Janet Fraiser entered the room, clipboard in hand and 'no nonsense' on her face.

"How's she doing?" she asked.

"Aren't you supposed to tell us that?" Jack asked.

Janet gave him that look that said she could ground him if she wanted to and got Jack's very best innocent look in return.

"She's moved more in the last hour than she has before this," Daniel answered, "Twitching, her eyes are moving like she's dreaming. I think she squeezed my hand a little bit ago."

"She's been reacting to the sound of his voice," Jack added and Daniel shot him a swift, startled look.

All these years with Jack O'Neill and Daniel wondered when he would stop being surprised by him. He knew at this point that Jack's laconic, almost sleepy attitude hid an ability to pull in the smallest details of his surroundings. But Jack hadn't seemed to so much glance at Jillian the entire time he had been in the room.

Had he really observed the tiny movements of Jillian's fingers, nearly hidden in Daniel's hand, that he had felt only when he was talking?

Daniel looked at the floor for a moment and then said,

"Yeah, I think she has, too."

He'd hardly dared believe it. He had even convinced himself earlier that it was just reflex, when he had been talking to her and begging her not to leave him, in Dutch so he was free to say whatever he wanted and not care who heard him.

"Say something to her," Janet urged.

Daniel leaned over and whispered, "Jillian_, Ik hou van je. Alstublieft, Ik heb je."_

This time her reaction was pretty unmistakable. Her fingers clenched on his hand and her eye lashes fluttered against her pale cheeks. Daniel looked up at Janet and hoped he didn't look as pathetically desperate as he felt.

"That's good, right?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, but still in her professional tone with a trace of caution in it, "At best it means she's recognizing your voice specifically; even at worst she's breathing on her own and responding to outside stimuli." Janet paused and took pity on him, softening her voice with the addition of some sympathy and reassurance, "She's trying to wake up, Daniel."

"Trying?" he repeated.

"It's not like in the movies. She's not going to just wake up all of a sudden and get out of bed. Coming back to consciousness after this kind of trauma is a gradual process. Every movement, no matter how small, is her way of reconnecting."

"What can I do?" Daniel asked.

Janet gave him a wry look. "You can eat. You can get some sleep and you can drink something besides caffeine. She's going to need you."

"I'm not leaving here," he said, shaking his head as if what she had just asked of him was impossible.

Jack had lounged back in his chair, one leg sprawled in front of him, looking once again deceptively relaxed.

"It'll take undomesticated equines to get him out of here," he commented.

"Or Teal'c," Janet threatened.

"Teal'c's on 657," Jack droned, "They kind of gotta situation there." He stood up, unfolding his lanky frame slowly. "I'll go get him something."

"And make sure he eats it?" The threat was back in Fraiser's tone.

"Spoon feed it to him if I have to," Jack promised.

Daniel sighed but knew when he was out gunned.

They left him and he folded his arms on the side of the bed so he could rest his head. He'd been given every reassurance that Jillian was fine, or going to be. In his head he knew this.

His heart….. His heart with heavy with the memory of what he had done to Jillian, everything he had put her through and the one lesson the Universe had taught him with unforgiving certainty.

Everything had a price.

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_Ik hou van je - _I love you

_Alstublieft - _Please

_ Ik heb je - _I need you


	64. Chapter 64

When she finally woke it was with a deep, rattling cough that caused an immediate groan of pain. It was dark and she ached and her throat felt so raw she was certain another cough would start it bleeding.

There was something inside her screaming that something was wrong. All the training the US government and all the experience she had ever had off world demanded that she get up and move. She tried to get up, to roll over and was immediately hit with a wave of such overwhelming dizziness she resolved never to move again. Ever. She cried out and instantly there were hands on her forearms and a beloved voice saying,

"Shhhh, shhhh, Jill. It's okay, it's okay. Baby, you're safe. It's me. I'm here."

"Dan?"

There was an audible sigh of relief and the hands holding her tightened gently and then let go.

Her eyes felt dry and gritty but she forced them open. Then she was looking up into clear blue eyes.

"Where are your glasses?" she asked.

A small smile tugged at his mouth.

"I took them off. That's not supposed to be your first question."

"Where…." The rest was lost as she dissolved into a fit of coughing again.

Daniel's hand behind her head, his palm steady, lifting her.

"Ice," he said, bringing a cup to her lips, "Easy. Easy. Don't gulp."

It helped enormously. Jillian let the ice melt, soothe her dry mouth and cracked lips and cascade down her throat. She finished nearly all of it and swallowed the trickle of water in the cup. Daniel tried to lay her back down on the pillow but she struggled just enough that he let her fall forward, resting her head on his shoulder gratefully.

"So dizzy," she murmured.

"You hit your head," he told her, "Just don't move."

_Don't move, don't ever move again, just let me hold you…._

"What happened?" she asked.

Daniel was stroking her hair tenderly.

"You don't remember?"

"No. Who else is hurt?" There was sudden anxiety in her voice. She tried to turn her head to look up at him, winced in pain and gave up the effort.

"Scotty's in the ICU," he hedged.

"Where were we? What happened?"

"You really don't remember?"

There was a long pause in which he kept stroking her hair and experiencing the rise and fall of her breathing.

"No. Will Scotty be all right?"

Dread filled him and he didn't have the courage to answer her with complete honesty.

"He's still in critical condition; or he was the last time Janet was in here. I don't know. I haven't left you."

"Daniel, are you crying?"

"No…yes." He sighed again and pressed his face against her hair for a moment, "You scared the hell out of me."

When she had finally moved, coughed, even cried out, the floor had gone out from under him and he had briefly forgotten how to breathe.

"I'm sorry."

He flexed his arm just enough to hug her a little tighter. "You didn't do it on purpose."

"I still don't know what happened."

"You were hurt, sweetheart. There was an accident off world. Rusty and Mal are fine and Janet's got you and Scotty. It will be all right."

Her breathing was slowing down, as if she was falling asleep with her head on his shoulder. Daniel's mass, his _presence_, had an aura of power and calm around it. It was seductively comforting.

Then suddenly she tensed, tried to move her left arm and found it immobilized in a cast that went from just above her elbow to the middle of her fingers and sat up in spite of the cry of pain it caused her.

"Where's my ring?" she demanded, scared. Her fingers sank into his forearm, "Daniel?"

"I have it," Daniel said, quickly, "I have it. Look."

He pulled his dog tag chain out from under his shirt and sat back just enough to let her see the diamond ring snugged up against his tags.

"I thought I lost it," she whispered, fiercely, then, "I want it back."

"Sweetheart, your left hand is a little compromised at the moment," he said, gently.

"Then put it on my right," she said.

"_Airén_," he whispered, sounding like he was going to argue.

"Daniel," Jillian answered, giving him the first deep penetrating look she had managed since waking up.

"I have to get it off the chain and you and I both know that's not easy. These things weren't designed to open up without a struggle."

It had taken him fifteen minutes and judicious use of a pocket knife to get the ring on the chain to begin with, but he had been afraid to just put it in a pocket and the box was at home. But now there was such unhappiness on her pale, bruised face that he almost regretted doing it.

Sighing, Daniel pulled the chain over his head and put it over hers.

"Your tags…."

"Won't need them. I'm not going anywhere."

He leaned forward and very very gently kissed her lips, experiencing the simple wonder of having her gently kiss back. She was warm and soft and yielding.

Janet's voice from the doorway interrupted them.

"Well, I came in to find out why my patient's heart rate was elevated. But I guess this explains it."

Daniel broke off, feeling a little guilty and lowered Jillian back onto her pillow as Janet joined them.

Janet gave Daniel a quick, cursory look and decided he looked like shit – dark shadows under his eyes and new creases at the corners, cheeks and jaw bristly and in need of a razor, face pale and hair even more disheveled than usual.

She turned and looked at Jillian.

"How ya feeling?" she asked, lightly.

"I'm trying not to," Jillian answered, but then Janet gave her a _very _narrow look and she was forced to say, "Dizzy, weak, tired even though I know I've been out of it."

"Hungry?" Janet asked.

Jillian got a little pale, started to shake her head, winced and just said, "No."

"Sounds about right then," Janet kept her tone light but she was checking charts and monitors and Daniel could see the creases at the corner of her eyes that meant she was making decisions. "I'll up your pain meds and see if you can get a more normal kind of rest."

"How is Scotty?" Jillian demanded.

"Breathing on his own as of an hour ago," Janet answered. She glanced at Daniel, who shook his head minutely to indicate he hadn't told her anything else and she didn't remember anything else.

"I want to see him," Jillian insisted.

Daniel opened his mouth to protest but Janet cut him off.

"At the moment all you could do is watch him sleep and you need to rest," she told Jillian firmly, "So no one is going anywhere. Doctor's orders. I'll come back and check on you in a little while."

She started out the door and paused. "Jillian?"

"Yes?"

"See if you can get Daniel to get something to eat and some sleep in a real bed."

Jillian looked at Daniel and then at Janet.

"There's a 'real bed' empty, right next to me."

Janet frowned and then shook her head in defeat.

"Okay, but he has to put clean sheets on it."

"Deal," Daniel smiled a little for the first time in hours.

Janet left them and Daniel wrapped both of his hands around Jillian's, careful of the IV.

"I love you," he said.

"Then you'll go get something to eat if I ask you to?"

"Why does everyone want to feed me?" he asked. "I'm fine."

Jillian glanced at the waste can on the floor – the one full of coffee cups and granola bar wrappers. She extracted her hand, brushed her thumb over several days growth of beard on his cheek and looked at him. Even she could see that he was exhausted with stress and near heartbreak.

"You need to sleep," he said, "Though I can't believe I want to see you close your eyes again after waiting so long for you to open them. If I eat will you try to sleep?"

"If I sleep will you tell me what happened when I wake up?"

"Yes," he promised.

He bent down and kissed her again, as gently as he could manage, lips just brushing over hers, staring down at last into the incredible green eyes he had been longing to see open. God, he loved her, every fine auburn hair, every smile, every quick-witted word, every glimpse of keen intellect.

With sudden crystal clarity Daniel realized what it would have been like to lose her; that it would not have been all at once, but in pieces over time – her presence gone from their bed, her scent fading from the pillow, her handwriting gone from the margins of his off world notes, her mail gone from the box, the foods she liked disappearing from the kitchen and her clothes from the closet, her toothbrush gone, her shampoo and body wash and the little pink scrunchie thing she showered with that hung on the hook beside his razor. Every day for months there would be another missing piece, something else to learn to live without.

Some of the happiest moments of his life had been spent with her and he would lose _that-_ the person he shared all those memories with.

And with the same crystal clarity he realized what Jillian had endured in the fifteen months he had been gone – the loss of weeks and months of what they were together, the little pieces of _him_ disappearing from her life.

Tears in his eyes, Daniel cradled her beloved heart-shaped face between his palms and rested his forehead on hers. He was overwhelmed by love for her and he let the force of it wash uncontested through his heart.

_You won't lose me, _he promised silently, _I swear to you, Jillian, I will do everything in my power to make sure we never lose each other again._

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	65. Chapter 65

**Continuing the 657 story arc for a little bit. Daniel brings Jillian home from the SGC to finish recovering. A little lighter than the previous bits. A warning – this story arc will be put briefly on hold for Fallout and the return of Jonas and then pick back up again and be finished after Chimera.**

**BTW, for anyone who is curious about the inspiration for Jillian? I've never been able to find the model's name but if you go to Google-images and type "top of blogs, auburn hair color" into the search, Jillian is the 6****th**** image in the 6****th**** row. That's the photograph I picture on Daniel's desk. The model in this case was even courteous enough to be wearing an engagement ring. ;-) **

**(0)**

Daniel opened the fridge, bent over and almost immediately stood back up.

"Oh my _god,"_ he said.

The smell coming from inside the fridge instantly eradicated the welcoming smell they had experienced coming back into their house - warm and familiar, a combination of the coffee that brewed here almost constantly when they were home, the ocean scented air fresheners Jillian had all over the place, wood fire still lingering as winter gave way to spring and the pine-scent left behind by their cleaning service.

Jillian slid onto one of the bar stools, pushing a messy pile of books, papers and a leather journal out of the way as she did. She adjusted the sling holding her left arm and lifted an inquiring eyebrow. Daniel bent over again and cautiously started opening drawers.

"Why do we buy produce?" he asked, with a puzzled frown wrinkling his forehead.

"What's in there?" she asked.

"I think it used to be lettuce," he answered. "There's a bag that has little shrunken heads in it… apples; or are you into some new voodoo practices I should know about?"

Jillian smiled and said, "No. Did we remember to throw away the milk at least?"

Daniel moved some things out of the front and looked into the back.

"Uhhhh, we either remembered or didn't have any before we left." He closed the door and pushed it shut quite deliberately, leaning both hands against it for a moment as if he was afraid something might try to crawl back out.

"I'll deal with it later," he said.

"I'd help but…," she lifted her left arm a little but looked anything but apologetic. "What's in the pantry?"

Opening cabinet doors, Daniel said, "Umm, two jars of marinara sauce," pause to check, "a quarter of a box of pasta….instant mashed potatoes….two cans of green beans and all your vitamins…."

"_All_ my vitamins?" she interrupted, "There's a multi and my calcium!"

"Which you're going to need," he said, taking the bottle of calcium off the shelf and getting her a glass of water.

He put both on the counter in front of her. He watched her take two with all the seriousness of Fraiser watching a recalcitrant patient. The afternoon sun was starting to slant into their large living room windows, bathing her in light. Beautiful enough for Hollywood, even with her hair pulled into a messy ponytail and a bruise on her forehead fading into the 'green and yellow' stage. Jillian was, literally, breathtaking; so beautiful he had had seen people turn towards her in a kind of dazed amazement, as if it was impossible to believe someone like her existed.

And he had almost lost her.

After the incident with Neith on Hak'tyl, Teal'c had commented to Daniel,

_She has become your rose, Daniel Jackson – calm and beautiful and soft, but willing to draw blood in your defense…_

Daniel had sent Jillian two dozen blood red roses the very next day with a card that said _I love you, those words are now my life._

And three days ago he had almost lost her. For a long moment his heart clogged his throat with emotion so intense no words could get out.

"I'll go grocery shopping," he said, finally.

"We're out of coffee aren't we?" She asked, thinking that was the only thing that would prompt Daniel to suggest going for groceries.

"No! Well, maybe, I didn't check." He shrugged and tried the boyish innocent look that she found so charming.

"You didn't check for coffee? Where's your head, Jackson?"

"For a change, it's with you, entirely with you, where it should be."

"I'll go with you."

"No you won't. You just got out of the infirmary and you're on vicodin. You should rest, maybe take a nap."

"I've been in bed for days," Jillian protested, "I swear I've forgotten how to be vertical." She nodded towards the backpack on the floor – the one that was stuffed with both their laptops and all their notes from 657. "I'd rather work; and I don't want you to leave. Can't we just call for a pizza?"

She reached for his hand and gripped it tightly. Daniel studied her with a flash of sharp possessiveness. She had become a bit obsessed with the text from 657. Yes, he understood the utter boredom of being stuck in the infirmary. Even on pain meds there was only so much sleeping one could do. But he also understood that she was determined to find something now, something worthwhile that would balance the accident that had nearly cost her a team mate and taken two lives.

"What about breakfast?" he asked.

"Cold pizza?" she said, hopefully. "It's not like we haven't done it before."

Daniel grinned at her a little.

"I'll be right back," he promised," Safeway is right down the street."

"You don't like going to Safeway," she pointed out, "All the checkers at Safeway hit on you."

Daniel frowned again. It wasn't something he had noticed until Jillian pointed it out to him.

"Not _all_ of them," he said. "Some of them are guys."

"Ted does," Jillian teased.

Daniel looked startled and she laughed a little. Daniel hadn't looked at another woman since the day he had kissed her in his lab and they had gone for Chinese food. With the single exception of Ke'ra, he had not really looked at women before that. He was charming around women, flawlessly well mannered, gentle and approachable. But it wasn't as if he treated women any differently than he treated men – people were people to Daniel. It was that women, and admittedly some men, _reacted _differently to Daniel. He just didn't see it. Their flirtations always ran straight into Daniel's absentminded obliviousness, especially since he had returned from being Ascended. There was a new Other-ness to him now, as if some part of him had stayed on a higher plane of understanding and morality. He simply didn't see himself as sexually attractive, and Jillian had to come to realize that Daniel didn't think he was even available any more. So it confused him that anyone else in the galaxy did.

Now, confronted with something that had actually eluded him until now, he just shook his head.

"I'll have to take my chances," he said, "We have to eat and I don't want to leave you for that long. You want a pizza or Chinese for dinner or something else?"

"Not going to cook for me?"

"I'll make you breakfast."

"You're going to get those Jimmy Dean frozen breakfast sandwiches, aren't you?"

Daniel pretended to look offended. "Just for that I'm making your favorite omelet."

"How very domesticated of you,' she commented. "Grocery shopping, cooking…"

"Not Y-chromosomey enough?" Sly wickedness glinted in his eyes.

"Actually, it's extremely Y-chromosomey," Jillian observed. "In most cultures the male is driven to provide food for his chosen mate, even in most animal species."

"Ah," Daniel said, "Here I am thinking it's very 21st century of me, but you're putting forth the hypothesis that this behavior is primal, already hardwired into my DNA?"

"It's okay," she said, in low, affectionate voice, "I like it when you're primal."

Daniel's breath hitched and he got lost in her all-too-beautiful eyes for a moment. There was such gentle, mesmerizing adoration there he could scarcely believe it was for him.

"This is what I get for getting romantically involved with an anthropologist," he commented. "You haven't told me what you want for dinner."

"What about just sandwiches, something simple? You've done nothing but talk about food since before we got out of the jeep. I'm pretty sure you're hungrier than I am. Maybe it's the vicodin, but I don't have much appetite really."

Daniel thought it was more likely stress about Scotty and Annie. Jillian didn't eat at all when she was stressed.

"Okay," he agreed, "What do you want to do right now?"

Daniel suspected he knew what she wanted. She wanted to immerse herself in 657 and not come back out until she had an answer. Daniel wanted to set 657 aside for a few days and hold her until she was healed.

He wanted to crawl into bed beside her and hold her, preferably naked, under the homespun quilt she'd bought at the Farmer's Market. He wanted to talk into the night while their bedroom changed from black to indigo to pearl to golden as the sun came up. He wanted to tell her about the lifetime of dreams that were going to come true, one right after the other until they were all fulfilled. He wanted her to share all her dreams so he could figure out ways to make them come true again and again, and keep being true for both of them, forever.

"Right now," Jillian said, "I would like a soda, if we have any, and I want to set up downstairs in the library and work until my Great-and-Powerful hunter returns with food."

Jillian let him help her down the stairs, even though she was perfectly capable of getting there on her own. The things that needed to be carried she surrendered to him willingly. Lifting was out of the question at the moment and would be for some time. She only had one arm and the tape around her rib cage was a constant reminder of how careful she needed to be now.

It was also a constant reminder of how close she had been to death. Daniel had cracked two ribs above her heart, separated them completely from her sternum, performing CPR. She had sworn to slap him if he apologized for it.

Daniel got her settled in the corner of the couch, with the coffee table snugged up against it so she could spread out and work. He carefully arranged some pillows behind her back, knowing he was probably fussing way too much and glad she kept silent. He really needed to fuss over her right now.

With one hand braced on the arm of the couch, he bent over her and brushed his fingertips over her forehead, just above the delicate slash of her eyebrow and down to her cheekbone. Holding her steady with one hand at the back of her head he leaned in and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be right back. Call if you think of anything you want."

"I will."

He looked into her eyes and saw the spirit that he loved so deeply it bypassed words; and suddenly he knew with crystal clarity at least one of the reasons he had returned from being Ascended.

He had come back because a decade, a year, a month or even so little as a _day _with Jillian was better than an eternity of light…..

(0)


	66. Chapter 66

**Continuing chapter 65…..**

**(0)**

Jillian's Great White Hunter returned a little more than an hour later. She heard the sound of his keys hit the counter, his footsteps, heavy and certain, making a few trips from the front door to the kitchen and then to the top of the stairs.

"Jill?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you need something else to drink? I got sandwiches."

"Another soda."

"Okay."

She heard him rummaging around upstairs for a little bit and then he was coming down the stairs.

He had a tray with glasses and plates, a paper cup and some paper towels that he put on the coffee table.

"Did Jack call you?" she asked.

"Yeah he did," Daniel shoved the coffee table away from the couch so he had enough room to sit down beside her. "Are you all right?"

Jillian lifted her right shoulder in a listless shrug.

"I know it's better," she said. "Mal called me right after Jack. The Air Force is going to fly Scotty's mother and sister in from Alameda."

The decision had been made to move Scotty to the hospital at Fort Carson. He was off life support, seemed to be responding to outside stimuli, but he still hadn't woken up.

Her right fist was curled tightly in her lap and Daniel closed his hand over it.

"He'll wake up, Jill. Hearing his mother and sister might be all that it takes."

"Annie's mother is here and she hasn't woken up."

Annie had been moved to Fort Carson almost immediately and her mother had arrived from Maui within hours of her transfer.

"She will," Daniel said comfortingly and Jillian loved him for refusing to say anything that would upset her.

She nodded towards the tray on the coffee table.

"What did you get us?"

"I got you a veggie Panini, exactly the way you like it," he said, entirely too pleased with himself.

She lifted an eyebrow. "You can't get that over the counter, not _exactly_ the way I like it. You flirted with the girl in the Deli didn't you?"

"No, I just asked!" he answered.

Jillian smiled at him and shook her head. He had no doubt asked with a flash of that mega-watt smile, the clear blue eyes just pleading enough behind the glasses that made him look far more vulnerable than he was, his boyishly handsome good-looks just devastating enough to get him whatever he wanted. It was a good thing Daniel had no idea the power he had to cause skipped heartbeats and dry throats; or if he did, he rarely used it.

She watched him cut the sandwich into smaller slices so she could eat it with one hand. He had been unusually attentive, in the way only a man who had once lost everything possibly could be. The last time he had fussed over her she had lost patience with him – but only because he kept doing it long after she was healed.

It remained to be seen if he had learned his lesson. She was far from healed and she knew it; so she let him fuss.

He dragged over the ottoman and set his own sandwich and coffee on it. After he settled into the other corner of the couch Jillian handed him her notes. They ate in silence for a little bit. Jillian watched him simultaneously chew, read, take notes and drink coffee, thinking she was getting a glimpse of the grad student he had once been.

While she didn't want to denigrate Daniel's efforts – the countless hours of study and research - Jillian wondered sometimes if Daniel could just absorb knowledge through his eyes straight into his brain. She was counting on him now. She was counting on his abilities to take the pieces of a mystery that she would give him and fit it all together somehow with the casual grace of the intensely gifted.

And he was. Jillian knew that she was smart, genius IQ with the same thirst for knowledge he had. But Daniel took her breath away – not just with movie star handsomeness but with his ability to instantly connect random information, to see clearly the kinship between seeningly unrelated facts. He crossed disciplines and gaps in history as if they didn't exist; and he saw with convicted certainty the utterly implausible until it was proven to be true.

But even someone with Daniel's gift needed a place to start, a Rosetta stone, and in this case they didn't have one. No one had ever had one.

"Tell me about the Harappan civilization," he asked her suddenly.

She gave him a teasing look.

"You mean you don't already _know?"_ she asked.

She got a narrow look over the top of his glasses.

"No," he said, "It's not my area of expertise. Egypt, China, Central and South America, some Native American Culture. But I recommended you for the Star Gate program because you filled in the rest of the world, like _this _part."

"It was a Bronze Age civilization, contemporary to Ancient Egypt and Mesopotamia," Jillian paused, licked her fingers and then wiped them on a napkin. She passed him one of her books, opened to a page that was nearly all text. "Over five million people, living in what passed for extremely modern conditions in those days – irrigation, multi-story homes, a drainage system for waste run-off. They made great advances in metallurgy. There didn't seem to be any 'class' distinctions either. All the houses and neighborhoods are pretty much the same. It took up most of what is now Pakistan."

She paused again while he scribbled something in the margin of her notes.

"The major settlements included Harappa, which they found first, Mohenjo-Daro, Ganweriwala, Dholavira, and Rakhigarhi."

Daniel turned his head just enough to look at her with amusement teasing his features.

"I dare you to say that again in front of Jack," he said.

"Why?"

"Just so I can watch his expression," he grinned a little and turned back to her notes. "The script _is _written boustrophedonically. These phrases you've picked out repeat in different lines in different directions."

"Yes."

He gave her his attention again and nodded towards the tray on the coffee table.

"I brought your vicodin. It's time to take it."

Jillian grimaced. "It makes me sleepy."

Daniel looked at her over the top of his glasses and the rim of his coffee mug.

"That's what caffeine is for," he said. "How do you think I got so addicted? In the days when I had to finish a dissertation and allergy meds would knock me off my feet? Caffeine is the antidote for evil, fog-inducing medications."

"I don't drink coffee," she reminded him, "I wouldn't stand a chance of getting any around here, anyway."

Daniel didn't answer with words. He just handed her the paper cup, which had the little white oval pill in it.

"You want water?"

She shook her head and swallowed it with her diet Coke. Daniel looked pleased and then went back to the book she had given him.

"Jill," he said, without looking up, "Tell me about the religious beliefs of these people."

She knew that tone. Daniel was putting the puzzle together and he was looking for missing pieces. Jack had molded Daniel into a functioning member of a military unit, capable of running backwards firing a P90 to cover their retreat.

But _Daniel –_the real Daniel – was a scholar.

"As nearly as we can tell there never was any kind of organized religion. No temples have been found, no statues that have any kind of religious connotation. There was some excitement when a few large buildings were discovered, but they appear to be graneries and other storage buildings. There are some carvings of people that some archaeologist are saying could be 'priest-kings'; or they could just be people who were prominent leaders in their time. There is _nothing_ that is obviously dedicated to any kind of deity. There was a single repetitive carving discovered that may have been of a goddess figure but nothing more than that. Why?"

"You told me earlier this civilization is contemporary to Egypt and Mesopotamia."

"Yes."

"I don't have to tell you about the 'gods' of Egypt," Daniel went on, but he was talking more to himself than to her now, "And in Mesopotamia they had literally hundreds of gods, goddesses, monsters, demons. They believed man had been made to serve the gods. Sound familiar?"

Jillian wrinkled her nose and nodded.

"Did the people of the Indus Valley trade with Mesopotamia and Egypt?" Forehead wrinkled, eyes bright, searching…..

"Yes," she answered, "Quite extensively."

She watched him closely. Gods, but she loved him in this mood. Daniel's hands started moving, shifting papers, making random gestures as he spoke, fingers flexing and opening at times as if he was trying to draw information to him through the air.

"So we have three major centers of civilization, interacting with one another; and we know without question that two of those civilizations were under the control of the Goa'uld. We defeated Marduk on P2X-338. He was considered the head of the Mesopotamian pantheon by the end of the Bronze Age. We know from teal'c that Marduk eventually became one of Ra's most trusted generals. That links those two civilizations under the control of the Goa'uld."

He paused and looked at her expectantly. She lifted an eyebrow. Normally she loved when he challenged her, giving her the joy of figuring it out for herself, seeing where the pieces fit, giving her the one thing scientists all craved – _discovery._ He could just give her the answers he already had but he never did.

_Normally…._ sigh

"Don't feed me vicodin for three days and expect me to be able to keep up with you," she said.

"What kept them from taking over the Indus Valley? How does this productive civilization of five million people, living in a fertile valley, escape any influence at all from the 'gods'?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

Daniel's eyes lost their focus for a moment. "I don't either," he admitted, but his tone had a quality of _not yet_ to it. "But I know there was _something _keeping the Goa'uld at bay."

"You think they had some kind of weapon?" she asked.

"Where did they get a weapon powerful enough to maintain a peaceful relationship with the Goa'uld in 3500 BCE?"

It was rhetorical and she knew it. She waited for the next question.

"Jillian, tell me about this goddess carving they found in the Valley."

"Tigers with a goddess seated on them have been found on seals around doorways, tombs. The best hypothesis about her identity links her to the Hindu goddess Parvati. She was most often associated with tigers and occasionally lions,"

Jillian looked up and found him staring at her intently, waiting to absorb, to calibrate, to sift and study and worry over the data until he found the correlation. She rushed on, pulling random facts, knowing that Daniel would find a way to link them into the answer he was seeking, "She was considered the complete goddess. All the other goddesses were just aspects of Parvati. She was the mother of all the gods, second consort to Shiva. She had wrathful incarnations as well as benevolent ones. Her name is thought to come from the Hindu word _Parvata_ - mountains - and to mean 'she of the mountain..."

"Why not from 'pavitra'?" Daniel interupted.

Jillian broke off and stared at him. She had forgotten that Hindu was one of his languages.

"Sinless, holy, sacred," Jillian murmured, "That actually makes more sense, since her benevolence is well known."

She paused to give him a long, loving look, studying his profile as he read through some of the text in her book while simultaneously taking in what she was saying. His eyes went rapidly back and forth across the page, taking in a world as yet unfamiliar to him, the academic in him fully alive and focused.

"In her complete form she has many names," Jillian went on, "all of them some form of mother or virgin. In the Sanskrit the Devi Mahatmyam identifies her as Ambika, Gauri, Kumari…."

Jillian stopped and inhaled sharply.

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Oma," Jillian whispered, "The Devi Mahatmyam _and _Ramayana identify her as _Oma_."

The puzzle clicked for them both in the same moment. Blue eyes locked with green.

"She wouldn't have allowed them to worship her as a goddess," Daniel said, "Not really, not in that way, not as an Ancient and most certainly not after she Ascended. But this means the Indus Valley was most likely being protected by the Ancients."

"Would she have moved them to 657?" Jillian almost sat up and winced as the tape around her ribs pulled on her skin.

"You okay?" he asked, instantly distracted.

"Yeah," she brushed it off and dragged his attention back to the issue at hand, "Daniel, could that piece of technology on 657 be something Ancient?"

"I don't know, Jill. There's been no other indication of Ancient involvement, though Oma does function outside the box now and probably did even then. Command is going to say this is a pretty tenuous thread."

"Hammond has let you follow more slender threads than this, especially if you're throwing the word Ancient around."

Daniel stood up.

"I have to call Jack. Do you mind if I ask him to come here?"

"Why would I mind? But why couldn't we just go back to the SGC?"

"Because I just got you home," he said, "And I'm not dragging you back out and I'm not leaving you here alone."

"Daniel, this is important, way more important than where I get to take a nap."

He stood up, leaned over and kissed the top of her head. Jillian tilted her face to look up at him. Glasses in place on his long, straight nose, light playing on his cheekbones and jaw, his expression was so intent, so crystal clear that it made her heart clench to have it all focused on her.

"Not to me," he said, "I'll call Jack."

Jillian took a moment to feel a little sorry for Jack. When Daniel was right and _knew_ he was right, or even if he suspected he was right and just needed more information, he would make sure everyone heard it and stay on it until he got what he wanted.

Daniel gathered the remains of their meal and started back up the stairs.

"Dan?" she said.

He paused and looked back at her.

"Don't be too hard on him," she said, lightly.

Daniel looked puzzled for a moment and then a smile tugged at his mouth and she could see the humor settle in his eyes.

"I won't," he answered.

(0)


	67. Chapter 67

Daniel couldn't sleep. He had woken long before dawn, when their bedroom was still dark and quiet. A glance at the clock told him it was 4:30am. He tried not to move for a long time as he as unwilling to disturb Jillian and determined he was going to make himself go back to sleep. He laid there for a long time, feeling the comfort of her weight in the bed with him. Her warmth mingled with his. He could get up and let her sleep but he didn't want to.

They had been talking just before falling asleep. He had been trying to get her to think of something else, plan their wedding. So far they had agreed it should be outdoors. _Where _outdoors had become another matter.

"What about having it at the house?" Daniel had asked her. "The yard is big enough."

Jillian had already been lying down, with her head on the pillow. Her hair was a dark splash of molten lava across turquiose sheets. Her face was porcelain and relaxed.

"I don't know," she said and her voice already sounded muzzy and disjointed, "Not sure…"

"What about the park?" Daniel asked.

"I checked. The paperwork is hellacious."

"Worth it, if that's where you want the wedding."

"No," she sighed, shifting her head, winced a little at she adjusted her arm on the pillow he had given her to support the cast.

"Why?"

"It's… too… personal…."

She was nearly asleep and he knew it. He leaned over her to grasp the corner of the quilt on her side of the bed and drew it up over her shoulders. The movement brought his face close to hers, his mouth close.

Daniel brought his mouth down on hers, a gentle tasting with no other intent than to kiss. They had kissed for a long time, or it seemed to him that they did; a long, slow, undemanding exploration, filled with sweetness. Because he had still been sitting up when he leaned over to get the covers, it was a back-bending, neck-twisting angle for him but he didn't care.

Then her mouth had curved into a smile under his and she had sighed and fallen asleep.

"I thought kissing was supposed to _wake_ the princess," Daniel had murmured to himself.

Then he had curled around her as carefully as he could and remembered nothing else until waking at 4:30am.

When it became obvious that Jillian's vicodin induced sleep was beyond disturbing and when he could no longer stand the disjointed rattle of his own thoughts, he reached for the book of foreign language crossword puzzles and the book light in his nightstand drawer.

On those rare mornings when they didn't have to be anywhere immediately, he and Jillian had coffee and tea in bed and worked on crossword puzzles together. Maybe the concentration would help his overheated brain shut off.

He folded the magazine and clipped on the book light, turning it on and giving Jillian a swift glance. She didn't even flutter an eyelash. The first puzzle he found was one she had started and never finished. Some of it was filled in with her light, clear, precise lettering and he smiled to see that it was done in order, starting with 1 across. She did crosswords numerically. He did them with whatever clue caught his eye first and then filling in the words as they became obvious to him.

This puzzle was in Italian.

He gave her another look, this one long and appreciative while he drank in the melody of her breathing. The sound has become somewhat sacred to him.

She was sleeping in one of his black tank tops, because the sleeves were easier to get on over her cast.

But she slept in one of his shirts five nights out of seven anyway - especially if he was away, and then usually with the plush lion he had given her, under the blue blanket she had carried around the world and on the air mattress in the guest room.

He tended towards the guest room when she was gone, too. Neither of them could sleep in their regular beds – the one here or the one at the SGC – without the other anymore. Being alone in either of those beds – without the-person-I-want-to-be-with-for-the-rest-of-my-life – was impossible.

He finished one puzzle, and then another, and had moved on to the next and was still working on it when the blackness in the room started to give way to pink-tinted ivory and he realized things in the room were becoming visible.

At that point Jillian woke up. She looked up at him in the half-light. He was wearing a sleeveless ribbed undershirt and a pair of cotton pajama bottoms, with the puzzle book propped on his drawn up legs and the pencil making soft scratching sounds.

"Can I help with that?" she asked, softly.

Daniel looked down at her. It was time for her medication but he didn't want to get out of bed to get it for her.

"_Ve n'era uno anche d'amore,"_ he said.

Jillian sighed, shifted a little and tried to get her brain to focus on something besides the sound of Daniel's perfect, lilting Italian.

"_Sostantivo_?" she asked.

"_Sei lettere, seconda lettera è l."_

"_Elisir_," she said.

"_Elisir d'amore_?"

"Um-hum," she murmured.

The pencil scratched and the room grew lighter. Daniel switched off the book light, set the puzzle book on the nightstand, and snuggled down until he was facing her with his head propped on his fist.

"_Buongiorno_," he said.

Jillian smiled. "How long have you been awake?"

"A while," he shrugged, "Couldn't sleep. You want breakfast?"

"Not yet," she said, "Let's finish the puzzle first."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

It took a moment to get them settled with pillows behind his back and her head nestled below his shoulder. He took the weight of her cast across his abs and set the puzzle book on his raised legs again.

"You skipped 12 across," she said.

"I didn't skip it. I haven't looked at it yet."

"It's obvious," she said.

"_Che cosa è allora_?"

"_Ecco."_

Daniel kissed the top of her head. Jillian snuggled closer.

"You're going to want coffee soon," she observed.

Unwilling to disturb the moment, Daniel said, "I can wait. Let's finish this."

(0)

Jillian surprised him by making coffee, scrambled eggs and toast while he was in the shower. They ate in the living room, on the couch that had once been in his front room in the condo, with papers and books and two laptops spread out on the coffee table.

They worked for the short time it took to eat and then, as Jillian carried dishes to the kitchen, Daniel started closing books and shutting down laptops, shifting notebooks and papers into file folders.

"What are you doing? Are we done?" Jillian asked, confused.

"For now," he answered.

He went to her in the kitchen, where she was standing at the sink, rinsing dishes with one hand. She wearing another one of his shirts, plaid, with the sleeves rolled up and the bottom knotted over a tight pair of jeans. She was barefoot with her hair in the best ponytail he had been able to manage for her. He had admittedly taken his sweet time about it, loving the slide and sheen of auburn tresses through his fingers and the brush.

He walked slowly up behind her and slid his arms carefully around her waist and molded his body to hers in a gentle, insistent, protective hug. His heart pounded for a moment, moving into his throat as he used his cheek to push her ponytail to the side and his lips found the back of her neck, just above the sling, and then the skin behind her ear in soft almost-kisses.

_Oh, god,_ he thought, _she feels so wonderful and I could stand here like this and hold her forever…._

Slender the way all the women of the SGC were slender, all soft skin over feminine curves, casual, no-nonsense strength and resiliency earned in the gym and off world. The world knew an entirely different Jillian than he did. The world knew the competent, brilliant scientist, whose loveliness was breathtaking and completely unattainable.

It had taken him a long time to recognize that he was in love again, a longer time to realize that it didn't scare him to death but made him happy. It had not taken him long to realize that this Jillian - the one in his arms, the one who shared this house and his bed, the one who sometimes looked at him with uncertainty in her eyes, and just as often with unconditional love - existed only for him.

"Jillian," he whispered into the silk of her hair.

She set the dish she had been rinsing down, turned off the water and let him help her dry her hand. Then he crossed his arms again, taking the weight of her cast on one, the side of his head pressed against hers. She sighed and leaned back against him, finished molding them together, unafraid to be vulnerable.

This was right, this was what they were, together in their shared existence – the domestic normalcy that ran parallel to a day job spent in a shadowed galaxy of unpredictability. The intimate press of his body was familiar, sheltering and safeguarding. It was her reality. It was her truth.

He leaned closer and murmured again, in the rich low cadence that could nearly hypnotize her.

"I want you set 657 aside for a little bit," he said.

Jillian wanted to turn around but the annoyance of her cast stopped her. It would put distance between them and she was feeling much too safe with the long, hard length of him pressed up against her back, hip to hip, thigh to thigh, his feet braced on either side of hers.

"I was taking most of it to the hospital with me. Did you forget that Mal is coming to take me to see Scotty today?"

"No. I didn't forget. I just want you to take a break."

"So I'm supposed to just sit with Scotty?"

She turned her head to look at him. His head was down but his eyes moved to find hers, a liquid shift of light blue over the top of his glasses. Heavy brows, gilded bronze by the sun, rose slightly.

"Do you think I don't know you better than that?"

He let go of her, but took her right hand and led her back to the couch in the living room. He backed her up until she had to sit, dug around in his backpack for a second, pulled out a canvas shopping bag and came to sit beside her.

"You should take these with you," he said, pulling a heavy stack of magazines out of the bag.

Jillian studied them for a moment and then arched both elegant brows and said, drily.

"Bridal magazines? Did you buy these?"

"No, actually, Sam did. But I agree with her. We're supposed to be planning a wedding."

Her eyes slid away from his, found something on the hardwood floor that was fascinating and stayed there.

"Jill?" Tension filled his voice, "You haven't changed your mind?"

She looked back sharply, "NO! I'm just…. I guess I just wish things could stop being crazy for five minutes."

"If we wait for that we may never get married," Daniel said.

She laughed a little.

"We don't even know _where_ we're getting married. It's hard to pick out a dress when you don't know the venue."

"We said outdoors, in the fall. So start there."

"I don't need magazines for that. I can go to Google and type, wedding dress, outdoors, autumn and look to my heart's content."

"Yes, but for that you need a laptop and your laptop has work stuff on it," he pushed the magazines towards her, "these don't." He started rubbing the tension out of the back of her neck. "Come on, doesn't every little girl dream about her wedding dress?"

"This little girl was dreaming about finding the Titanic, remember?" Daniel kept staring at her, pulling the truth from her until she smiled. "Okay, and sometimes I would dream about my wedding."

"I'm guessing that when you say you want it outdoors, you're thinking on a beach somewhere?"

"No, actually," she admitted, "Sand gets everywhere. You know that from deserts, and there isn't any way to control the wind if it decides to kick up, especially in autumn. But something near water would be nice."

The hand on the back of her neck became more insistent, cupped around her and pulled her forward until he could put his arm around her shoulders.

"Whatever you want," he whispered.

There was still something of profound relief in the way Daniel had embraced her over the last few days; as if he had been confronted for one terrible moment with having to relive a past that was both unforgiving and unchangeable.

So now he held her with the tender reverence and the sweet ache of a love that he had _not_ lost.

Which Jillian decided was the basis of his sudden interest in planning their wedding.

She felt it now in the way he leaned in to kiss her. It was brief and scorching, not coaxing but pushing her mouth open for the hot slide of his tongue. It wasn't support or reassurance; it was another demonstration of possession. Only Daniel would do something like this when he had no intention to asking for anything more.

It was up to her to offer the reassurance, to surrender in willingness and gratitude.

She was alive because he had given her the breath from his own body. She was alive because his hands had refused to let her go.

They broke apart and Jillian swallowed a dozen endearments in as many languages because none of them seemed remotely adequate. She loved Daniel, in too many ways, in ways she still didn't understand.

Their foreheads rested together for a few moments before she leaned back and looked into his eyes again.

"I promise that I will look through the magazines and try to tell you exactly what I want for the wedding, okay?" she said.

"Good," he answered.

"And what are you going to do today?"

This time it was his eyes that slid away to stare at the floor.

"Dan-_iel_," she knew. Something was up and she knew it so he looked back at her with an attempt at an innocent look that he could tell wasn't working.

"I have to go back to 657," he said.

"What?"

"The heavy rains uncovered more of the settlement, a _lot_ more and I have to go check it out."

His expression begged for her understanding.

"Jill," he said, "They found another stone map."

It made her sigh heavily. All right, there really was no choice then. She nodded and leaned towards him again.

"Okay," she said.

Startled, as if he had expected more of an argument, he blinked.

"You'll be back tonight?" she asked.

"Yes," he swore.

"You'll be carefully?" Hesitant, less certain of forcing a promise from him he wouldn't make.

"Absolutely."

He slid forward even more, trying to get as much of his body close to hers as he could. He breathed against her mouth as he spoke,

"I swear, I promise, hand on my heart, word of honor."

Then he was kissing her again, kissing and holding and asking; pressing her until she kissed back and her arms went around his neck and she was telling him it was okay without really needing any words at all.

(0)

Ve n'era uno anche d'amore – there was also one of love

Sostantivo - hint, clue

Sei lettere, seconda lettera è l. – six letters, second letter is L

Elisir - elixir

Buongiorno – good morning

Che cosa è allora – What is it then?

Ecco - can mean 'here' or 'behold', the clue I was looking at said 'voila' so in this context I'm going with behold.


	68. Chapter 68

**Anyone else remember Nyan, the guy they brought back from off world who was supposed to be Daniel's research assistant? Whatever happened to him, huh? ;-)**

**(0)**

The latest stone map to be uncovered was not in the same pristine condition as the first. When Daniel finally saw it, there was still much of it that was buried and it appeared to be cracked. His argument with the engineers who were digging it out had proved fruitless, so he had tracked down Mal – not above using his connections so that he could get on with his part of the job and keep his promise to Jillian that he would be home later that same day.

Mallory had reassigned the crew to another dig site and Daniel had finally been able to look at the new map. Ultimately, it didn't tell him any more than the first one. What he needed was one word, one small phrase that he could bring from this script to Ancient. _Anything_ just to get started. The whole situation had his puzzle-solving, enigma loving, language processing brain in hyper drive.

After little more than half an hour Daniel was interrupted by the approach of Nyan.

"Dr. Jackson!" he called when he was within hearing distance.

Daniel stood, settled his glasses more comfortably and brushed sand off his khakis. It was windier today than it had been previously. The sand, fine and white and insidious, was getting into everything. It sneaked into equipment, slipped into clothing and scoured across any exposed skin. He shook his leg to dislodge the sand stuck up around his crotch and frowned. Jillian was right. Sand really did get everywhere.

"It's Daniel," he said, as soon as Nyan reached him.

"Yes, sir," Nyan agreed. "Dr. Carter sent me to get you."

Daniel's brain took off on a short, frantic search to figure out who Dr. Carter was.

"Oh, Sam," he said, when realization dawned.

"Yes, sir. Dr. Carter," Nyan agreed.

Daniel tried not to smile. Nyan had never gotten used to any of their military designations. Considering Nyan's last experience with the military, Daniel didn't blame him.

He fell into step beside Nyan as the researcher took him in the direction of the one building that was completely uncovered. Nyan left him after they entered and returned to a smaller side room they had set up as an office.

Sam was in the main room, off to the left of the entrance. Mindful of miles of snaking electrical cords coming from generators and powering the lights inside, Daniel made his way to join her. Sam was standing in front of something that looked like a video arcade game had mated with the quantum mirror and produced offspring. The room was filled with about a dozen of them. This one was unique in that Sam had apparently powered it up.

Daniel had never had a doubt in his mind that she would. He had come to see her almost the moment he had arrived on 657, hours ago. Her laptop had been open with overlapping screens that were filled with schematics, formulas, equations that made his head hurt looking at them and her own notes outlining her current hypothesis on how the whole thing worked.

"Nyan said you wanted to see me," he said.

"Yeah," Sam had that delighted look on her face that came from continuing her reign as the undefeated champion of technology. "Watch."

She ran her fingers lightly across a console and teased a tiny ball switch. The machine hummed into life, spilling rows and rows of text against the wall behind it. Mesmerized, Daniel murmured,

"Wow."

"I thought you'd like it," Sam grinned.

"You're off the hook for my Christmas present," he said, absently.

"Good because I never know what to get you."

He wanted to get closer to the letters, the way he always did, but in this case he would block the transmission.

"Have you figured out how to download this into our equipment?"

"You'll have to give me some more time," Sam admitted, "and it may not be possible to interface them at all. I'm not seeing anything obvious. In the meantime, there's the old fashioned method."

"Digital recording?" Daniel guessed.

"Yep," she said, cheerfully.

"When did that become old fashioned?" He wondered out loud, but he was less than enchanted with the idea. A digital image of what were essentially holographic letters would be hellacious to read. He resisted a sigh. It wouldn't be the first time he had continued to ruin his eyesight in service to the SGC. He was glad once again that they had recalled Nyan from Area 51. If all of these machines contained text and Sam couldn't interface them somehow with their laptops, it was going to be a long recording session.

He had dropped his backpack on the floor against the wall when he had arrived and he went to it now to retrieve his camera.

"How's Jillian?" Sam asked suddenly.

Daniel stopped looking at the letters floating across the wall in front of him. He started to give the automatic, 'Fine' and then remembered this was Sam.

"I'm not sure," he admitted.

Sam came alert, having apparently expected the 'fine' and gotten something much different.

"Has she been sick? Dizzy? Still hurting?"

"I know she's still hurting, physically, but it's something else. I just don't understand why she seems so reluctant to plan the wedding. I mean she doesn't even seem to want to look for a dress. I thought women loved that stuff."

Sam blinked at him. Then she fastened her eyes back on the machine and pretended to fiddle with something.

"Has it occurred to you that she doesn't want to go shopping for a wedding dress without her mom?"

Daniel inhaled sharply. The answer was no. He hadn't given it a single thought. He studied Sam for a moment and wondered if she shared a similar reluctance and that was why it was so obvious to her.

"I'm an idiot," he murmured. He turned pleading eyes to Sam. "Will you go with her? You and Janet…. And Cassie, I know she asked all of you to be in the wedding. Having Cassie along might help."

"It's not just that. She's scared, Daniel," Sam said.

"Of what? Of _me_?"

"Of losing you. Come on, Daniel. You aren't this dense. Losing you was traumatic. We all barely got through it; and it was hardest of all on Jillian. Ask Teal'c if you don't believe me. It's going to take her longer than a few months to get over it. Not everyone is as resilient as you."

"Resilient," he repeated, as if it was a word he had never associated with himself.

Stubborn. Tenacious. Adaptable. From the time he had lost his parents at the age of eight, he'd had to endure, usually on his own. The worst part of it was that he had never learned how to lose the agony. He had only learned never to speak of it, but how to keep it coiled tightly inside forever. That was how he made the universe a thing he could compass and accept. Since joining the Star Gate program he'd been subjected to a long series of bizarre events that should have tipped him over the edge of sanity a long time ago.

He'd been trapped in virtual realities, revived from cryonic suspension and told that eighty years have passed and his friends were dead. He had been regressed to a Neanderthal, switched bodies with his team mates and a dying old man. Shifu had forced him to experience a future that never happened and a dark place in his soul that he hoped never to see again. He had lost Sha're and then lost her again forever, after she made him live weeks and months that had only existed between one breath and the next. She had known him well. She had known he would never allow the normal stages of grief, never find forgiveness or closure. It was his way. It was the only way he knew.

He'd become suicidal after exposure to an addictive light and endured being locked up in a padded room when alien nanites had turned him into a schizophrenic psychotic.

He been Ascended and then abandoned with his memories stripped. Most recently he'd gone into a dreamlike shut down induced by torture in an attempt to Ascend again.

He'd been declared dead a dozen times.

His thoughts skittered to a halt abruptly. _God, Jillian…._

One of his first questions to Jack after returning from being Ascended had been "We get paid for this, right?"

It turned out they did – and they paid _for_ it, every day.

He looked at Sam again, who had been quietly watching him, knowing him well enough to recognize when he was sorting through his thoughts.

"Denial," he murmured.

"What?" she asked.

He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture.

"It's an anagram of my name," he explained, sounding distracted, "It seems appropriate at the moment. Everything she's been dealing with, I've been ignoring, even after what just happened and how close I came to losing her. I think it's how I've handled my entire life, everything that ever happened to me."

He pulled himself back to the moment.

"Can I get Nyan in here to record all this with you?" he asked.

"Sure," Sam said, "I'll get my camera. But where are you going?"

"I need to go home, take my fiancé out to dinner and have a long heart to heart talk."

Sam smiled.

"She'll like that."

"I hope so," he said, starting for the door with his pack in hand.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't bring up her mom at dinner. Wait till you get home."

He nodded. "I will."

She stopped him one more time.

"Daniel?"

"Yeah?"

"Are there any anagrams of my name?"

He frowned for a moment, eyes briefly unfocused as he scrambled letters in his brain, and then said, "Well, not of just Samantha," he paused and gave her a bemused look filled with a heavy dose of affection, "But Samantha Carter is an Arcane Math Star."

Sam grinned and then giggled a little bit and then laughed. She was still chuckling when Nyan joined her later to start recording data.

(0)


	69. Chapter 69

**Something short and light to wrap up this section of their mission on 657. **

**(0)**

Daniel had six messages on his desk phone when he got back to the SGC. All of them were from Jillian. He hit the first one.

"_Daniel, it's me_ -"

He rolled his eyes affectionately. As if he really didn't recognize her voice by now.

"_- I found some invitations that I think we'd both like. Check your email. I sent you a link to the webpage. Check it out and we can talk about it tonight. Love you."_

Daniel frowned as he booted up the computer and hit Explorer.

"Emailed me a link," he muttered, "You little wench, where did you get your hands on a laptop?"

He found the email and clicked on the link. The company sold invitation of every conceivable theme and they were shaped and designed to look like small scrolls.

"Okay," he said, slowly, "That's kind of cool, though I don't think I want them to say 'hear ye, hear ye' at the top."

He hit the next message.

"_Hi, it's me again. I was thinking about the music and I don't think I want to walk down the aisle to the traditional stuff. What do you think? Is there a song you prefer? I was thinking something more modern, but other classical stuff can be okay too. I've always loved Tchaikosky's Romeo and Juliet –"_

"Romeo and Juliet," Daniel repeated, shuffling through the pile of papers on his desk in search of the latest disc from 657, "come on, sweetheart, as I recall that did _not_ end well."

"_- or the Rhapsody from Paganini, you remember the one from the movie __Somewhere in Time?"_

He remembered falling sound asleep before getting halfway through Somewhere in Time and waking up to Jillian staring at the screen silently weeping with a tissue box in her lap. He remembered that she had been unusually affectionate when they got to the bedroom later.

He went to Google and typed in _Rhapsody, Paganini _and waited for it to load. One million, seven hundred thousand plus hits. Okay, that could wait.

"– _or maybe something we grew up with-"_

"In the 70s?" Daniel said, incredulous. Off the top of his head all he could remember was _Brick House_ and the Commodores _September, _or was that by Earth, Wind and Fire? …. Oh, and _Only the Good Die Young, _but he was _not _going to mention that one.

"_-just think about it, okay, and we'll talk tonight. I love you, Daniel."_

He smiled a little and wished she was with him. "I love you too, babe."

He hit the next message.

"_Me again. Do we want a buffet or a sit down dinner? And should the reception be inside somewhere? And if so then where? I guess that would depend on where we decide to have the wedding. Do you know if Fort Carson or Peterson has a banquet room? Oh, wait, never mind, I can look that up-"_

"On the laptop you're not supposed to have," Daniel muttered, inserting the 657 disc into his desktop and waiting for the information to come up. At least it seemed she wasn't working on anything but the wedding, which was what he wanted.

"-_I miss you so much right now, Daniel. Can't wait for tonight. If you're home early enough can we go out for Chinese at Mama Chui's?"_

"With your arm in a cast?" Daniel asked, "Sure. Let Mama fuss over you for a change."

"-_I'm kind of craving cashew chicken. Rusty got me a cheeseburger from the cafeteria but it's just not working for me. Okay, see you soon. Love you."_

He paused and moved some stuff off the corner of the desk, shifted his coffee mug to the other side and started scrolling through the text on his computer screen. It was the new stuff from the recently discovered map, and was still just as indecipherable.

He started to take a long swallow of coffee and hit the next message.

"_Daniel!"_

The excitement in her voice startled him into choking on his coffee, sending it straight down the wrong side of his throat. His heart slammed into high gear, certain something was wrong.

"_Scotty woke up! He's awake! His mom was with him. I got to go in and talk to him for a little bit. He knows all of us. He even tried to get up when he saw Rusty-"_

Rusty? Oh yeah, Mal had been on 657, so Rusty must have taken her to see Scotty.

_He doesn't remember the accident and we haven't told him everything about Annie, just that she is still unconscious. He wants to see her, of course, but they aren't letting him out of bed now. Rusty went to get Scotty's sister at the hotel and then he's going to bring me home. It's about 3:30 now. I should be home in an hour. Oh, god, Dan, I'm so relieved I can't even find words for it. Please be coming home soon. I love you. I love you so much."_

Daniel hit the message off and then hit 1 on the speed dial. It rang twice before she answered.

"Dan?"

"Yeah. I just got your messages, well four of them. Scotty is awake?"

"Yes! Are you on your way home?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm home."

"Where did you get a laptop? I know you left yours at home."

"Rusty brought his."

Daniel sighed and rolled his eyes again. He should have known.

"Do you still want to go out for Chinese?

"Yes!"

The happiness in her voice was infectious and he found he was smiling like an idiot.

"What did you find on 657?" she asked.

"I'll tell you over dinner."

"Daniel!"

"It's too much to explain on the phone, but Sam accessed more text – a _lot_ more."

"I'm not sure if that's good or bad," she observed.

"And with our luck it's all poetry."

Jillian groaned. Poetry was almost impossible to make sense of in a translation.

"Are you coming home?" she asked again, sounding anxious.

Daniel stifled a sigh and opened his desktop tower to pull out the disc.

"Yes," he said, "I'll leave as soon as we hang up."

"Then let's hang up," she suggested.

"_Tá grá agam duit , mo mhíle stór_," Daniel said.

"_Tá grá agam duit, leannan."_

(0)

Hours later, with night pressing black up against the sliding glass door in his downstairs office and Jillian asleep on the upstairs sofa, Daniel had Wagner playing on the audio system and a split screen display of Ancient text running parallel to the ones from 657. Spread across the desk and scattered onto the keyboard were photographs of the newly uncovered stone map. The music had spilled into a lovely instrumental version of the first act of _Tristan and Isolde_, with a stunningly profound use of strings to simulate the ocean, when Daniel thought he saw his first glimpse of a clue in one of the photographs. The music teased his hearing and wrapped itself around his brain stem as he reached for a magnifying glass to study the tiny blurry shape etched into the stone. It was not so much that blurry shape as the sigils carved around it.

"Oh, _yeah_," he exhaled softly. He exited the split screen and made the Ancient text larger, scrolling through it until he found the words he wanted.

It took him longer to find the close up photos of the same glyph; the compass of the map and the directional designators that rarely changed, the place to start, the common nouns. He copied them neatly onto a yellow notepad and put what he thought were the corresponding words in Ancient beside them. There wasn't going to be a one to one ratio of letters, obviously. He had surmounted more than that even between Earth languages, but this was likely to have differences psychologically and culturally as well as drift caused by distance and technological advances.

The challenge gave him a surge of adrenaline that was better than any caffeine rush. He drank the last of the coffee in the mug on the desk and glanced at the coffeemaker in the corner. Probably one more cup in there but he didn't want to get up to get it.

Wagner's opera soared into the bittersweet moment the lovers arrived in Cornwall, fluid and lyrical, bordering on erotic. It flowed through the room and gave a voice to the silence of the 657 text. Daniel moused over the Ancient glyphs until he found the ones he wanted. His pencil flew across the notepad, trying to keep up with his overheated thoughts. The first two things he tried made no sense so he scratched them out, scrolled through the Ancient again and made a different connection.

It came to him in a moment of brilliant clarity.

"Yes," he said, out loud. "Finally."

He had no context, no sentences, no meaning yet. But there were words and pieces of words; and it was a place to start. The music flowed and so did the lines of his writing on the notepad. With maddening unwillingness, the text from 657 started to give up its secrets.

A movement in the doorway made him look up to find Jillian.

"Wagner?" she said.

"You're the one who told me to listen to classical music and find something I liked," he reminded her. "Did it wake you?"

She shook her head. "No. I came down to find out if you want help…."

She stopped talking abruptly, looking at him closely, caught by the gleam in his eyes.

"You did it, didn't you?" she breathed.

A wide, satisfied smile spread slowly over his features.

"I am so in love with you right now," she said, and there was really no denying that, no denying the look in her eyes or the way her voice was misty and languid and more erotic than Wagner's opera.

"It's late. Do you still want to help?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I do. I just slept on the couch for two hours. I'll make you some more coffee and grab a soda."

He started to get up. "I'll get it."

"I don't need two hands to make coffee and pour soda, Daniel. Stay there and keep the rhythm going. I know how translations work."

She went to the coffee bar in the corner and got the pot so she could rinse out the old stuff first. Before walking out the door she paused and turned.

"What was the first word?" she asked.

"That I translated?"

"Yes."

"I found the compass on the new map," he explained, "So I had the points to work with." He paused and looked at her in a way she found sexy and breathtaking all at the same time. "It was north. The first word I found was north."

(0)

Tá grá agam duit – I love you, irish gaelic, (tah grah ugum ditch)

Leannan – sweetheart, masculine

mo mhíle stór – my thousand treasures, (moh veelah shtore)


	70. Chapter 70

**The next few chapters will take place during Fallout.**

**(0)**

"You know," Daniel mused, "That security camera can't possibly see into every corner of this room…."

Jillian looked across the lab table at him sharply. In a moment filled with a kind of vertigo the rest of the room vanished and she centered entirely on him – the chiseled face that still looked younger than he was, and somehow older now too. Maybe it was the fine lines at the corners of his eyes that he had acquired squinting into the sun in equatorial deserts. A complexity of conflicting messages in that handsome face and in the intense blue eyes that were fixed on her.

"No, Daniel," she said.

"The space right below it for example," he went on in his low, rich voice.

"No, Daniel," she repeated, but she ducked her head this time because keeping the amusement off of her face was impossible.

"I don't need Sam to explain basic geometry. The room is square. The round lens is pointed at the door."

Jillian slowly shook her head.

"Didn't you get enough this morning?" she asked.

"Of you? Impossible."

She could feel the heat rising in her face and wondered how it was that after all this time Daniel could still make her blush; and they _were_ coming out of a six week drought. Her arm cast and taped ribs had done nothing to make her feel sexy in any way, shape or form – and Daniel hadn't pushed or seemed to mind.

Since getting a clean bill of health from Fraiser yesterday, they had done a lot to make up for lost time.

Then realization dawned in her eyes and she tried to look scandalized.

"You've checked the security feeds from this room haven't you?"

For an answer she got the most incredibly innocent, eyebrow raised, boyishly devastating grin he had ever managed.

She leaned across the table towards him.

"Why don't we just go back to our quarters?" she asked.

"Because we can just stay here?" he asked in return, "and how many sets of sheets do you want to send to the laundry today?"

Jillian tried to look stern. She was pretty sure that's how she looked, anyway. Stern.

"The floor will be cold," she observed, "For whoever is on the bottom."

Daniel's grin got wider and Jillian realized she had stopped saying no. She had, effectively, changed the conversation to a negotiation of position.

_Shit._

He leaned closer to her and whispered in the soft, sensual voice she loved, "Who says either of us has to be on the bottom? Why don't I just hold you up against the wall?"

_That_ – combined with the gleam in his clear blue eyes and the familiar scent of sandalwood that was so sexy it should be illegal - set off a stirring in her body that was _not_ good because she was _not _losing this argument.

"I thought your fantasy about this room involved the table?" she asked.

His grin got wider still.

_Shit._

"You're so turned on right now aren't you?" he asked, eyes dancing.

"Daniel! Stop it." Stern quickly dissolved to what she knew was rapt desire and she almost lost it. Her jaw started to hurt from holding back laughter.

His eyebrows lifted angelically. His mouth curled in a slow, seductive smile.

"I mean it! Stop it!"

But she didn't mean it and he knew it. She couldn't help it. She started laughing.

He came around the table, all six feet plus of him, tall and buff and breathtaking and he wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her towards him. She yielded at once. He took one hand in his and held it against his shoulder as if they were dancing. His body swayed slightly and hers responded instinctively. Casually he spun her towards the camera, and then under it and then pinned her against the wall and she knew the kiss was coming even before he lowered his head to coax her mouth open with his own. He thrust a little against her and she could feel him hardening through the green cotton fabric of his BDU. He pushed her back against the wall, cradled her jaw in his hand and tipped her face up to probe deeply, hungrily. His hips pinned hers to the wall.

Oh yes, that was good… that was _really _good…. NO! No, wait a minute that was actually _not _good…. In fact, it was very bad. Very bad…. Oh… ohhhhh…

The phone started ringing and they ignored it. His hand slid down her body, hooked around her thigh and brought it up against his, holding it there.

The phone eventually stopped.

"Daniel," she gasped, when they came up for air, "the door isn't even locked."

He leaned back and looked into her eyes.

"I'm in love with you," he said, as if it was something that still amazed and enchanted him, "I'm soooo in love with you."

"And that's a good reason to risk being caught making love in the lab up against the wall?" she asked, bemused and flushed, her hair already bedroom tousled.

"That's a good reason to do anything," he said, moving his hips against hers again.

"Then let's go back to our quarters," she whispered, nuzzling his neck and then taking little nips at the skin above his collar.

The loud speaker on the Base was suddenly calling his name.

"Dr. Jackson, please report to the Briefing Room. Dr. Jackson to the Briefing Room right away please."

Daniel let go of her leg, dropped his head to her shoulder and groaned.

"This had better be important," he grumbled, easing off her reluctantly.

Jillian didn't let him go right away. Her hands had fisted into the fabric of his shirt, just above his belt, as if she had been starting to take it off. She held him tight and gazed up into his eyes. The shared look was full of sizzling passion warmed with love and genuine affection and the quiet certainty of long time lovers.

"Rain check?" he asked.

"For the love making," she negotiated, "not necessarily for the location."

"Position?" he asked, nipping along her jaw.

"Maybe," she answered.

The loud speaker was barking his name again.

"Wait for me here," he said.

"Like I'd go anywhere," she answered.

(0)


	71. Chapter 71

**The section of Daniel and Jillian's relationship throughout the events of Fallout is actually in two completely unique and separate parts. In this chapter they renew their friendship with Jonas, with emphasis on the idea that Jillian never did blame him and has moved on. It's short, light and I actually had a hard time with it – never sure if it was necessary or not. **

**But I do think the second issue raised in Fallout is important and didn't want to ignore Jonas completely. Now that I have you completely confused, here's chapter 71. ;-)**

**(0)**

"You're sure we won't be disturbing her?" Jonas asked, anxiously.

Daniel shook his head and frowned, though Jonas knew the man well enough to know that the frown didn't mean he was unhappy.

"What I _am_ sure of is that, if I let you go back to Kelowna without seeing her, she'll be upset with _me_," he answered. "So give me a break, okay?"

Jonas answered with a tentative smile.

"Okay," he said, "I'm glad things are still good with the two of you."

"Oh, they're better than good," Daniel answered.

"Yeah?"

"We're getting married," Daniel said.

"Oh! That's great then. Congratulations! When?"

"Well, she wants to get married in the fall, which is in three months, so probably not until next year. You're invited, of course, if we can figure out how to mail the invitation to Kelowna."

A shadow passed over Jonas' features.

"If there's a Kelowna to send it to," he observed.

Daniel frowned again and didn't even try to offer him a platitude.

It was odd to Jonas that of all the members of SG1, it was Daniel he knew the least. Still, he had always felt at ease with Daniel – and a little off base with Jillian. She had never given him any indication that she blamed Jonas for Daniel's death. In fact she had told him emphatically that the only one responsible for that was _Daniel._

_I always knew that if I lost Daniel it would be because he died saving someone else and that was his choice…_

Jillian's casual acceptance of Jonas had gone a long way to making his time at the SGC bearable. But she had grieved so deeply and so entirely that it had been hard for Jonas to be around her at times.

Hard not to wish he had been the one to make the sacrifice, instead of standing there, with her, looking into fathomless green eyes full of misery even when she smiled….

There was an Earth-saying – water under the bridge. It was one he understood now.

He just didn't want his presence to remind Jillian of a time in her life that she would rather forget.

They approached the door to the lab and Jonas could hear her voice, understanding from the broken conversation that she was on the phone. Daniel held up a hand to prevent Jonas from coming any further as he stepped into the open doorway himself.

"No, Scotty, that's not just good news, it's _great_ news….. At Mal's tonight? I'm not sure, Daniel just got called to the Briefing Room a while ago and depending on what that's about I might have to work late….. We'll see, okay? ….. Yeah…. Give Annie a hug for me ….See you soon."

Jonas heard the sound of the phone receiver being dropped back on its cradle.

"Annie doing better?" Daniel asked, from his spot blocking the doorway.

"First round of physical therapy this morning and it went much better than they thought it would. She's tired but in really good spirits. What's wrong? What did they need you for?"

"Oh, it's complicated," Daniel hedged, "but something came through the Gate that I thought I better show you before it goes back."

Jonas could imagine pretty well the puzzled look on Jillian's face after that cryptic statement. But Daniel was motioning him forward and stepping aside so that he could reveal himself, shyly, in the doorway.

"Jonas!"

There was no denying the way the expression on Jillian's face changed from puzzled to delighted when she saw him; and that felt kind of nice. When he hovered uncertainly, Daniel put a hand in the middle of Jonas' back and shoved him into the room, though not unkindly. He caught his balance in the last second before Jillian threw her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek against his.

For a moment Jonas thought how nice that was and how sincerely welcomed he had been and how they were all immediately jumping to help him and his planet and – for just that heartbeat – it felt like coming home.

Jonas hugged her back and gave Daniel an apologetic look at the same time. Daniel shrugged lightly, hands in his pockets and an indulgent expression on his face.

"What are you doing here?" Jillian asked, stepping back to search his face anxiously.

"We've got a situation on Kelowna," he answered, "We need help."

Jillian glanced at Daniel, who asked,

"Can you take over 657 for a while? I don't know how long."

"Of course," she answered, "You already did all the heavy lifting on that."

Daniel leaned over a placed a kiss on her temple. It looked oddly proprietary to Jonas but he wondered if he was imagining it.

"I'll tell Nyan and the team to report to you," he said, "and you're going to lose Sam with the technical stuff. She's going back to Kelowna with Jonas."

"It must be serious," Jillian said. Her tone had become low and flat. There was no discernible emotion in it. But her eyes had gone wide and full of distress.

Jonas tried not to flinch but it was hard. He didn't need to be psychic to understand what she was thinking. The last time she had given Daniel up to Kelowna, she had almost lost him forever. She should have lost him forever except that Daniel was an incredibly extraordinary person. Jonas knew his presence and any mention of his planet would always remind Jillian of one of the worst moments in her life.

Jonas knew she had been genuinely glad to see him, but it still hurt and always would. No amount of forgiveness, no amount of assurance that no one blamed him, no insistence on Daniel's part that Jack thought Jonas as a 'good man' would ever change that.

"Daniel's staying here," he said, quickly.

Jillian spared him a glance and then looked back at Daniel for confirmation. He nodded.

"I'm not leaving the Base," he assured her. "I'll be in the Briefing room with the representative of the three nations. You can even check on me. Bring me coffee."

Jillian's eyes narrowed but some of the fear drained out of them. She reached up and took a handful of his black shirt in her fist to pull him closer. With her face inches from his she said,

"I'll check on you, but I'm your fiancé not your secretary. You can get your own coffee."

Daniel was smiling when his lips touched down gently on hers.

"Deal," he said, when they parted.

Jillian looked at Jonas then, letting go of Daniel's shirt and smoothing it back into place absently.

"So how are you?" she asked, "Did you manage to settle in back home?"

Jonas thought about platitudes, polite conversation, _yeah, it's fine, you know, good to be back…._

Something about Jillian and Daniel made that impossible. He had made friends on this world, friends who had changed his self-imposed exile into something different. They had made it so that when he was alone, it was solitude and not loneliness. They had given him an outlet for his survivor's guilt and shown him the galaxy.

And not the least of them had been the woman who had every reason to hate him.

"It's been odd," he admitted. "In some ways a new and different challenge. I like the work…. But it's so confining and it doesn't feel like home…not really, not anymore."

Daniel and Jillian exchanged a short but eloquent look.

"You're bigger than any one planet now," Daniel suggested, "You know what's out there."

"Yeah," Jonas said, "and no one to really talk to about that. No one who gets it…. Well, maybe one person. My research assistant. For some reason she asks about my experiences out there all the time and she seems to understand."

Daniel and Jillian exchanged a longer, eloquent look.

"She?" Jillian asked.

Jonas could feel the heat rise in his face.

"Um, yeah," he said with a shrug.

Jillian grinned.

"Look," Daniel said, "Why don't you go get something to eat while I check on Sam and start getting a file together for these negotiations."

"I was just about to go get lunch," Jillian said, "We can catch up some more. You can tell me all about this 'research assistant'."

Jonas felt his face get warmer.

"Commissary?" she asked.

The idea of being surrounded by so many of the people he used to work with was unnerving. But Jillian actually looked very hopeful. He took a breath, and then hesitated.

"It's All American Day," she tempted.

"Cheeseburgers?"

"I bet they'll make one just the way you like it," she said, "We're lucky here you know. Our commissary is actually pretty good."

"Steak fires?" Jonas went on. There had been food from Kelowna that he missed when he had first gotten to Earth; then food from Earth he missed when he returned to Kelowna.

Straddling two very different worlds was not something any of his life experiences had prepared him for.

"We can even bring it back to the office and you can catch up on the Weather Channel," she smiled.

"Don't even joke. That was a really difficult addiction to break," he smiled back, "That one and the internet. Do you know how many times I sit down at my desk on Kelowna and think I can just look up something on the internet?"

It felt normal suddenly. The initial awkwardness was gone now.

They turned to head out the door, almost as smoothly as a well-trained SG unit. As they walked out into the hall, Jillian asked, conversationally,

"So, you still have the yo-yo Col. O'Neill gave you?"

(0)


	72. Chapter 72

Jack tilted his head, eyebrows high, looked at the flickering image of Carter on the monitor and said,

"Say again?"

"She's a Goa'uld, sir" Sam repeated, "She won't give us her name but she's taken Kianna as a host and admits to being in the service of … Baal."

Daniel had only been returned to the team for a little over six months, but he remembered more and more every day; and some things he had never forgotten. The way his team communicated with little more than hard looks, level stares and the occasional very short glance was one of those things he had never lost.

Hammond may not catch it, even with all his decades of experience. But Daniel saw it.

The '_are you okay, sir' _in Sam's eyes and the fierce, brows narrowed _yes fine drop it _in Jack's. Daniel's warning bells chimed, deflecting him from the immediate horrified reaction to the idea that Jonas had been working with a Goa'uld for months. The look he gave Jack asked for an explanation. The return stare shot him down just as effectively as it had Carter.

Daniel listened with half of his attention as Carter continued to update them on the new development. The rest of his attention was firmly on Jack.

He wasn't sure why Sam would hesitate before telling Jack they were dealing with Baal again; and he wasn't sure why Jack would shut down so completely at the news. He wasn't sure why the shadow in Jack's expression would cause an electric chill in his own gut. He_ really_ didn't know why they would be keeping something so serious from him.

But he was determined to find out.

(0)

Jillian sat back in the desk chair and stared at him.

"So all this time, his research assistant has been a Goa'uld?"

She stared at Daniel, trying not to feel sick. He had come into the office a short while ago and thrown himself into the extra chair with so much force Jillian had been afraid it would break. She knew that the Kelowna…Langaran…whatever… delegates had introduced Daniel to new heights of arrogance and ignorance. She knew Jack and Teal'c had walked out of the negotiations and left Daniel on his own. She had expected him to be tired and exasperated, to have missed meals and sleep and to have drunk far too much coffee.

She had not expected him to announce the Goa'uld were suddenly a factor in this whole mess.

He nodded, looking glum.

"Do we know who she is?"

"No, just that she's in service to Baal and she's supposed to find out why Anubis was interested in Kelowna…. Langara…whatever…."

Then Jillian did it too – the sideways flicker of her eyes, the shadow of something hidden. When she looked back he pinned her with the most intense glare of their relationship. It was all she could not to flinch. She went completely still, the way she did off world when her life was in danger, waiting for the next thing he would say.

When he just continued to hold her with a gaze like the winter sky she asked,

"What?"

"You tell me," he said.

"I don't understand." She truly didn't.

"Something happened, while I was … gone; something with Baal, and I want to know what it is."

Jillian held his gaze with her own and looked so miserable, so pleading, that he almost let it go.

"Is this one of those things you're all hoping I remember on my own?"

Then she looked away and seemed so soft and weary and exasperated that he got it in an instant. "It's something none of you want me to remember at all," he exhaled slowly.

"It's not my story, Daniel," she said, helplessly. "SG1 isn't my team."

"But you know something about it."

The pleading eyes, the boyish charm that had women and aliens all over the galaxy eating out of his hand.

_And _the slightly tilted corners of his mouth, the hopeful smile. She was melting into the hopeless puddle of love that made her want to give him anything. Jillian inhaled and resolved to be strong.

But, _god, _she loved this man and she wanted him to be happy. She so desperately wanted him to be happy.

"Daniel, I love you. I've been yours since the day we were introduced seven years ago. But, you don't tell me everything about Sam, or Teal'c or Jack; and I know things about my team that I would never share with anyone, not even you. It's about trust."

"But this is Jack!" he exclaimed. He had heard the hesitation in her voice when she had said O'Neill's name and put it together with the concerned look from Sam and the frosted look from Jack. "What happened to him?"

"You've been reading all the mission reports from when you were gone! Isn't it in there?"

"Apparently it's not!" he answered.

"Then that should tell you something!"

It came out too sharp, too irritated. Realizing that both their voices were going up, Daniel and Jillian broke off at the same time and each took a long deep breath.

Daniel rarely lost his temper with her. That he seemed on the verge of doing so now spoke eloquently of his stress level, and his concern for Jack.

Like oil and water, Jack and Daniel were capable of being in the same container, even of complimenting each other in a way that could be beautiful. At the same time they were completely capable of driving each other up a wall.

Sam had told her their relationship was completely scientific – positive and negative charges, materials with unlike charges attracting each other.

Jillian sometimes thought Sam was crazy.

"You're not asking me to just let it go, are you?" he demanded.

Jillian made a sharp, dismissive motion with her hand.

"Yes," she said, sarcastically, "Right after I tell the moon to alter its orbit. I think I have a day scheduled next week to do things that are completely pointless. I'll pencil you in."

The genuine affection in her eyes softened her tone.

"That's good," he said, "Because I know we keep running into things that I still don't remember, but I'm pretty sure that I wasn't ever good at just letting anything go."

Daniel leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands loosely in front of him.

"What if I knew something had happened to Rusty that was still an issue within your team and I wouldn't tell you?" he hypothesized, with the slow, deliberate care he used in tricky negotiations.

Jillian knew him too well for that. He wasn't going to ask her leading questions until she was agreeing with him and being delighted to do so.

"I wouldn't ask you to," she answered, "Daniel, our teams and even the interaction between our teams, is based on trust. I've lived with SG8 in almost as much intimacy as I do with you. This is a very finely knitted tapestry. If you knew something about Rusty that Rusty didn't want to tell me, and you told me, it would start it all unraveling. I'm not going to be the first thread that gets pulled."

Daniel leaned back in the chair and looked miserable. Jillian's heart was approaching the truly melted stage. She knew how much this was bothering him – this unsolved puzzle, this unresolved issue, the missing letter in the crossword, the translation he couldn't make sense of.

"I love you, for your compassion and your empathy and how amazingly devoted you are to your team, among other things," she said, softly, "But you need to ask Jack, and if you don't want to do that, you need to ask Teal'c or Sam. Not me. I can't, Bǎobèi. Nǐ tīngdǒng ma?"

Daniel studied her closely and then said,

"Shì de, tīngdǒng. Nǐ tīngdǒng ma wǒxiǎngyào zhīdào?"

Jillian lifted her shoulder in a mild shrug. "Shì de, yīdiǎndiǎn." She paused and thought maybe it would be better to change the subject, "Nǐ chīfàn le ma?"

"Wǒ xiǎng hē kāfēi," he answered.

Jillian stood up, smoothing her hands down the front of her BDU pants as she did. She wanted to take him to the commissary and watch him eat; to just sit, to just be in his presence, close to his warmth and his…his… _Daniel-ness._

That was what she wanted, to just bask in Danielness.

"I think you've had enough coffee," she observed. Seeing that he still looked miserable, she added, "You and Jack will work it out, qīnàide. You always do. You're just caught in each other's orbit and giving off solar flares at the moment. Let things calm down. You need to remember that Jack is a card-carrying member of the MWDNT club."

Jillian walked over to him and hesitantly touched his forehead, then fluffed his already disheveled hair. (She knew that he showered, toweled it and then forgot he had hair until the next time he showered. But to her it always looked like he had just gotten out of bed – and it was damned sexy.) She leaned over and nuzzled against his mouth, questioning and his mouth opened , hungrily and she made a soft muffled sound that might have been _oh god._

Daniel stood up, without breaking the kiss and wrapped her in his arms in a sudden surge of weight and muscle and strength that made her knees weak.

"Commissary or bed?" she asked, breathless.

"Alphabetically works for me," he answered.

He let her guide him towards the door. His arm slipped around her waist, easily, thoughtlessly, as if it belonged there.

"Wait," he said, on the way out into the hall "The MW….? What?"

Jillian rolled her eyes. "Jack, Teal'c, Mallory, Rusty – the Men Who Do Not Talk."

In spite of himself, Daniel started to laugh.

(0)

Nǐ tīngdǒng ma – Do you understand?

Shì de, tīngdǒng. Nǐ tīngdǒng ma wǒxiǎngyào zhīdào – Yes, I understand. Do you understand why I want to know?

Shì de, yīdiǎndiǎn – Yes, a little.

nǐ chīfàn le ma – have you eaten

wǒ xiǎng hē kāfēi – I would like to get some coffee

qīnàide – my love


	73. Chapter 73

Men can't multitask. At least that was what he had always been told; and he wasn't even certain that what he did could truly be defined as multitasking. His brain and his thoughts constantly wandered, took off on tangents, skipped pages to the next conclusion that no one else ever seemed to see, even as one part could stay fixated on the task at hand.

It was a skill he had learned in school, from the earliest he could remember. He grasped a concept instantly and then found out the best thing he could possibly do was to remain silent and polite and hope the world caught up with him soon.

He'd had to find a way to stay entertained while the rest of his classmates listened over and over until _they_ got it, so his brain had flittered off through endless possibilities and made connections in the bright, wonderful galaxy that no one else ever seemed to see.

Living with too much going on in your head was a curse, he had decided, a long time ago. But it was _his_ curse and in time he learned to see it as a blessing as well.

What he had grasped, instantly, working with the Langarans was that they were impossible – petty, selfish and ridiculous; and that they would argue without pause unless he stopped them.

So now, while a part of his mind listened to Dreylock extoll the virtues of a lottery, and he waited for them to catch up to the inevitable conclusions that he had already reached, the rest of his overactive mind went wandering. He fought a yawn and wished – not for the first time – that Kelowna was on a more compatible time schedule with Earth. It was pushing midnight and his brain was hinting that perhaps sleep might be a good idea.

He didn't exactly close his eyes but he did reach mentally for the exercise he had taught himself, the one that helped him relax, centered him, even made it possible to calm his fevered thoughts and meditate with Teal'c on occasion.

He searched his memory, reached for the warmth that could be next to him if he had only been able to seek out his bed, curled close and soft and familiar and floral scented. She was wearing something new these days, something that reminded him of the desert – jasmine and aloe, a hint of cactus flower and date palm. It was called Light Blue and she told him it reminded her of his eyes because,

_God_, Daniel, _your eyes_….

He wasn't sure what she meant by that. She had finished the sentence with a kiss that derailed his conscious thoughts.

The jarring, argumentative voices were too discordant for him to catch and hold the memory. It was just as well. He needed at least some part of him focused here.

Unintentionally he thought about the shadow laying over SG1. Teal'c and Sam were off world and unavailable for the confrontation Daniel was spoiling to have. He suspected Jack was asleep, damn him and his ability to ignore the Langarans. Once he had washed his hands of the situation, he had vanished.

Daniel had tried to broach the subject of Baal to Jack earlier. Jack had gone completely and utterly still – which was in itself should have been frightening. Jack yelled. Jack threatened. Jack bluffed and blustered and cut you off at the knees with biting sarcasm.

Jack O'Neill, quiet and still, was truly dangerous.

O'Neill had finally given him one of those hard, dark looks that reminded Daniel that a guy with black-ops training was really someone Daniel should fear a little more.

Daniel figured his life was hanging by the slender thread of their friendship for a few seconds.

He had said, "Not now, Daniel," turned on his heel and stomped off down the hall.

All right, maybe not stomped. That made Jack sound like a spoiled child and he wasn't. He was closed-off, impossible and annoying. But not childish.

Not now… Not go away, or shut up or leave it alone Daniel. Just, not now.

Of course that might just be because Jack knew Daniel wasn't going to leave it alone. They'd worked that out a long time ago when Daniel had bluntly told Jack that if all he wanted on his team was good little soldiers who would salute and obey orders and look at him with the same wide blue-eyed reverence he was getting from Carter – then he'd better reassign Daniel to another team because Daniel was never going to be that guy.

_You'll disobey direct orders?_ Jack had seemed truly incredulous at the idea.

_Only if they're stupid, or they'll get someone killed, or I can think of a better way._

_When have I given a stupid order?_ Jack had demanded.

Daniel had decided not to say "Abydos" and "nuclear weapon" at that point. He might need it for another time.

But they had worked it out, eventually, whether from mutual respect or mutual disrespect Daniel couldn't say, not even after all this time. At some point Daniel had acquiesced to being part of a military unit and Jack had accepted that sometimes he was a military commander and sometimes he was just another member of the debate club.

Now they were like binary suns, caught in each other's orbit, each burning with its own fire and occasionally giving off flares.

It kept life interesting, at the very least.

He took his glasses off and rubbed at his tired eyes and wondered about calling a recess. He got up, poured himself more of the endless coffee and watched the black liquid that was his drug of choice slip from the pot to the cup.

And as he did his sleep-fogged and still busy brain suddenly conjured an image of Jack… falling and falling and falling in a room that wasn't right, with angles that were wrong and things that went up when they should go down; like he was stuck in an Ames room….

He barely stopped pouring coffee before it went all over his hand.

Shaking he put the pot down, took his cup back to the table and returned his glasses to where they belonged – helping him see clearly.

But it was too late. His inner vision had seized on the image and wouldn't let it go.

"Maybe this would be a good time to take a break," he interrupted.

The voices mercifully broke off. Their faces looked relieved as they stood and gathered papers and binders and Daniel handed them off to a military escort with instructions to take them to the VIP quarters and get them something to eat and drink.

He had no hopes that the bickering would stop once they were all in a small, gray room together but at least he wouldn't have to listen to it and maybe he could get a few blessed hours of sleep.

Though he knew he wouldn't. He was too worried about Sam and Teal'c.

And now there was this image….

He sat down in the silence, sipped cautiously at coffee and focused on his inner visions.

Jack was falling again and down was up and then he was caught in a web and hauled away to land on a latticework that seemed to have been made by some gigantic metal spider and he was defiant and then angry and then … then, oh god, then terrified and desperate and lost.

A knife hissed through the air, so close Daniel thought he heard the sound of it passing just by his ear.

_I won't let him destroy you…_

_You just said you couldn't help…._

Daniel felt the heat and warmth and joy leave his body in a slow, painful wash. It was like bleeding to death a trickle at a time. He actually saw the color leave both his hands and had to fight a wave of dizziness unlike anything he had known. It hit him with the force of an air to ground missile, stung like a staff blast

He'd been there and watched as Baal had slowly tortured away the defiant, kind, impassioned soul that was Jack O'Neill.

And he had done nothing at all to stop it.

Daniel's stomach churned and tears burned his eyes as he wondered how anyone dealt with this level of horror and ache and guilt.

He needed to find Jack – now – and kneel and put his forehead on the ground in the symbol of unconditional surrender the men of Abydos gave their Headman, expose the back of his neck for blessing or the lethal cut of a blade….

Which he expected would get him hauled to his feet by his collar with a disgusted,

_For cryin' out loud, Daniel…._

How was it possible that Jack didn't hate him? Why hadn't Jack left him, alone and without memory, in a tent on Vis Uban?

Unable to move, Daniel sat and became a prism for all his jumbled emotions, feeling them separate and blaze each in its own horrible way, an infinite spectrum of misery and regret and sorrow and need for forgiveness.

Tear-blinded, Daniel stared straight ahead and saw nothing while everything around him seemed to collapse.

(0)


	74. Chapter 74

Contrary to what Daniel believed, Jack was no more asleep than Daniel himself. Not with Sam and Teal'c reenacting a scene from Jules Verne with the twin threats of being crushed to death and Baal breathing down their necks.

His conscious thought skittered sideways to avoid admitting that he would rather they were buried under the ground of a foreign world than fall into the hands of Baal.

The only member of his team who was still available to him then was Daniel, so Jack went in search of him. It was late, if not by Kelownan standards. If Daniel hadn't called some kind of break so he could get some sleep, Jack would see to it that he did.

Jack didn't have to go far to find him. He was only about fifteen feet from the elevator doors when they opened and Daniel stumbled out into the corridor.

Jack stopped walking abruptly. Daniel looked like a semi had run him over, and then backed up and hit him again. Irritation with the Langarans had stirred in Jack's gut and sent a surge of anger into his throat, curses already forming….

When he realized that it wasn't the Langarans who had put that haunted look in Daniel's eyes. Everything Daniel ever felt showed up in his eyes sooner or later – something that had gotten him in trouble on more than one world, and quite often with his team.

Jack gave him the respect of looking back without flinching, though the curses died and came out a single, heartfelt,

"Crap."

Daniel halted a few feet away, breathing slowly. Jack hadn't realized someone could be that pale and still be alive.

"You're going to tell me you remember, aren't you?" Jack demanded.

Daniel blinked, off balance.

"Jack," Daniel's voice was wool-packed and soft.

_Fine_, Jack thought.

Daniel was subtle. He'd just start talking and slip the truth in somewhere along the way. Jack was blunt. He liked opening gambits that blew everyone else out of the water. In the case of working with Daniel, it was better to shoot straight. The guy was too smart and too smart meant that he knew where the conversation was going anyway. Smart also meant he went over something relentlessly, like a hamster in a wheel, often getting nowhere.

"Daniel," Jack said, cutting him off. "Come with me."

There was too much raw emotion pouring out of Daniel, leaking from those wide, too-bright eyes. He wanted to talk. (_Christ, _when did Daniel _not_ want to talk?) But, he reminded himself sharply, this was part of the job. He was responsible for the people under his command and, _god help him_, that meant he was responsible for Daniel. Daniel had remembered and now his brain was going Mach 5 and if Jack didn't get him to pull up he was going to flame out.

But he wasn't doing this in the corridors of the SGC, not even at midnight.

Jack had an office, albeit one he rarely visited. This seemed like a good time. No one would think to look for them there.

They fell into natural lockstep even if Jack was wondering how Daniel was still on his feet.

Jack shut the door, put a hand on Daniel's shoulder and shoved him into a chair and then moved to the other side of his desk and sat down.

The chair was actually pretty comfortable. He was surprised.

"You want coffee?" Jack asked, thinking he could put a shot of whiskey in it if Daniel said yes. He had a bottle in the bottom drawer, if he recalled correctly, though he'd have to make the coffee. He glanced into the corner and saw the coffee maker had a layer of grey dust on it.

Daniel gave a long slow shake of his head.

"You don't want coffee?" Jack was more than a little startled.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I think I'm going to throw up!" Daniel snapped. He was scrunched up in the chair, arms crossed over his chest as if he was physically holding everything inside.

Jack backed off a little.

"Daniel, you didn't do anything wrong," he said.

"I didn't do _anything_!"

"Yeah, well, I think we've all figured out by now what would have happened if you'd done more than you did," Jack said.

"But what did I _do?"_ There was desperation and despair in his voice.

Jack studied him. It had been like this since Abydos. Daniel wanted the best choice, the right choice, the _good_ choice and he'd push for it until he got it. Daniel would do anything to find that solution, even if it meant reinterpreting an order, or even directly disobeying one. He'd go through any barrier, step in where he hadn't been invited and argue with anyone in his path. In Daniel's mind, when Jack had been imprisoned by Baal, he had failed to do that. He had failed to convince Jack to Ascend, which in his mind had been the only possible right choice.

Jack went back to the very first lesson he had drilled into the shaggy-haired, raw, independent, tormented genius behind the tortoise shell geek-glasses.

_We take care of each other on a team, Daniel. Never forget that._

Apparently, Daniel hadn't – and now it was eating him alive.

Daniel took a deep breath and Jack knew it was the precursor to a long, high-speed run-on series of sentences. He held up a hand to stop it and Daniel broke off without beginning.

"Look," Jack began, "I don't know how much you've remembered, but if you hadn't been there, I'd have cracked way sooner. You kept me sane, Daniel. You kept me _alive_ even when it wasn't what I wanted. You… you…were _you._ We fought and yelled and you drove me _nuts_ because that's what you _do, _and it was normal – normal for us anyway_._ It kept me alive and if you were driving me nuts it meant Baal couldn't. The more I argued with you about being rescued, the more I convinced myself it was possible. The more I argued with you the more I knew I was still alive. You were _there_ and I can't believe you don't know how important that was."

"And that was the best I could do?" he asked, confirming Jack's suspicions.

"It was," Jack answered, "for me. It might not have been _your_ choice, Daniel. But it was mine and you stuck it out with me." He leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands in front of him. "Daniel, until right now I wasn't sure that I didn't hallucinate the whole thing. That I didn't just dream you up and put you in that cell with me to create something familiar. Now I know. Now we both know. You _were_ there. It was enough."

Jack stopped talking abruptly. In seven years (minus one and a handful of months) that might have been the longest stretch of sentences he had ever shared with Daniel; with anyone really.

He was relieved that some of the color was returning to Daniel's face. Jack waited, knowing Daniel was smart enough to start putting the pieces together. He sat still and watched it happen.

Daniel looked at the floor for a long time, took his glasses off, and rubbed his eyes. Then his head lifted again. He looked up and to the right, frowning, brows drawn tight. His hands started moving, searching aimlessly in the air for the pieces he needed to fit this new knowledge into his world.

Then his eyebrows lifted and his bright eyes came back to focus on Jack. He put his glasses back on; though Jack wasn't sure if there was significance to the gesture. Was Daniel starting to be able to look at what had happened without seeing only misery and failure?

Daniel's body relaxed out of its scrunch a little. His shoulders squared slightly. Jack felt a surge of… something. Affection? Exasperation? In the field, Daniel was careful of his body language. When it was just his team, he often gave away everything he was thinking just by changing position.

"Is that why I'm not still in a tent on Vis Uban?" he asked.

"Something like that," Jack answered.

They sat staring for a few moments. Daniel no longer looked raw from the inside out at least. Jack hoped maybe he had shut down the overcrowded squirrel cage in Daniel's head enough that he might be able to find sleep now.

"You made the best choice you could, Daniel, and it's done now," Jack said. "Come on. It's not the first argument you ever lost with me."

A smile quirked the corners of his mouth. Light glinted off his glasses as he tilted his head.

"Yes it is," he said.

Jack sat up a little.

"No it's not!" he shot back.

Daniel's smile got a little wider. It still didn't reach all the way into his eyes but at least it was a smile.

"Okay, listen, you've got two choices now – you can go curl up around your fiancé and try to get some sleep, which I _strongly recommend_; or you can come with me to the Control Room and pace around waiting to hear from Carter and Teal'c."

Daniel scratched his fingers through his hair.

"I think I might try that fiancé thing, at least for a little while," he said.

They both stood, with a smoothness and unity that gave away the lie of their constant arguing.

"We're not going to talk about this ever again, are we?" Daniel asked. He sounded a little wistful.

When Jack answered, he sounded rock solid certain,

"Nope."

(0)


	75. Chapter 75

**Something short and sweet to wrap up Fallout.**

**(0)**

Jillian hadn't exactly left the light on for him in their quarters but there was a cactus flower scented jar candle burning on the dresser. He found firelight comforting and had ever since his year on Abydos, in the first place he had ever really called home.

He stripped to t-shirt and underwear and slipped into the minor miracle of a bed already warmed by someone who loved him. Somehow in his messed up world he had managed to Descend and find himself in heaven.

He reached for her and she rolled over, snuggled against him like a living fire and sighed. Her arms found him. Their ankles twined together even though she hissed sharply at the touch of his ice cold feet. Her body was soft, relaxed and welcoming.

"Did you talk to Jack?" she asked, barely a whisper, muzzy with sleep.

"Yes," he answered. "How did you know?"

"You're freezing," she answered, pushing closer, offering him warm. "You only get this cold when you're stressed."

She closed her right hand over his left, felt that he was chilled straight to the bone. She brought his hand to rest between her breasts, against cotton fabric he suspected was one of his shirts. Even he hadn't realized how cold he was until her hand had touched his. He was shaking with cold.

"The Langarans aren't stressful?" he asked.

"Not enough to make it feel like you've lost all the blood in your veins, so you must have talked to Jack."

She tilted her head back to look at him. Her eyes were lost in the shadows but he could imagine them well enough. He was momentarily mesmerized by the familiar planes of her face etched in firelight.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"I think …. Maybe… it's still a lot to deal with. I want…I need to…."

Then he couldn't get the words out and even though he would have thought it impossible, Jillian pushed in even closer. She abandoned her own pillow to settle into the cool cotton of his, her breath against the pulse at the base of his throat. Her lips were close, not quite kissing. She hooked her leg over his so that her calf came to rest behind his knee. Then she did that wonderful thing she could do, where she understood what he was trying to say even when thirty languages failed him.

"You'll be fine, bǎobèi," she murmured, "I love you. We all…love…you…"

She fell back to sleep almost before she finished speaking. He rested his chin on her hair and stared into the candlelight. In the silence it was almost if the Earth had stopped moving, as if they were the only movement and sound left in the world was the two of them. Daniel lay there for a long time, feeling her weight and her presence in the bed with him, the reassurance of someone being there with him, vulnerable trusting. His hand and lower arm were still trapped between their bodies, fingers entwined, and warmth was slowly returning along with the comfort of someone else's heart beating, someone else's breathing.

And not just _someone_ but someone he loved.

He shivered violently for a moment, as if he had a fever that was breaking, as if a poison was being cut out of his body. Jillian shifted a little as it disturbed her sleep.

"Nǐ shēntǐ hǎo ma?"

"Háihǎo. Bié dān xīn," he answered, kissing her forehead and smiling a little at the idea that her default 'sleep talking' language was Mandarin. "I love you, Jill."

She murmured something he didn't catch. The heat under the blankets expanded until it included him, melded into his skin and bones and warmed his blood again. Sleep pulled on him like too much gravity as a profound sense of peace and rightness reestablished its presence in his soul.

He hovered in the realm between sleep and waking for only a very short time after that.

(0)

Nǐ shēntǐ hǎo ma – are you all right

Háihǎo – it's okay

Bié dān xīn – don't worry


	76. Chapter 76

**This is to start the beginning of the events around Chimera (and to explain why the set designers put Daniel in a bed that was 4 inches too short for him, in the middle of the room, with no head or footboard... but I digress). This is probably a few days before the opening scenes of Chimera and ties into my longer stand-alone story Crown of Stone. It's not necessary to have read that to understand this section. I'm just sending Jillian back to that planet with her father while the events of Chimera unfold.**

**(0)**

His key in the door, his footsteps in the entry way, stopping to toe off his loafers because she didn't like them to wear shoes in the house….. Jillian smiled, closed her eyes and sighed. She was on the living room couch, which was faced towards the windows looking out at the deck, though there was nothing but night pressed up against the glass now.

She looked over her shoulder to find him hanging his jacket in the front closet. He had two grocery bags on the floor by his feet.

"I'm sorry I'm so late," he said.

"You're not actually as late as I thought you would be."

She watched him walked behind the couch in the direction of the kitchen and craned her neck to enjoy the view. He was so stunningly gorgeous – broad shoulders, the sensuous curve of his spine, slim hips. He was wearing a pair of grey-green linen pants that moved and whispered over his tight glutes as he walked.

Jillian licked her suddenly dry lips and sought a more comfortable position on the couch.

"Did you talk to your Dad?" he asked.

"Yes, a few hours ago, on the phone. He was going to try to get some sleep. He's still on East Coast time."

"Is he excited?"

Alexander North was about to embark on his first off world assignment, one Jillian and Daniel had been trying to get accomplished for nearly three years – the beginning of negotiations between feuding tribes on P3X-2013, a planet that just happened to have an abandoned Temple that had been left by the Furling.

"About leaving planet Earth for the first time?" Jillian asked, incredulous.

Daniel put the grocery bags on the counter and paused to consider that.

"Oh yeah, I guess, huh?"

"Have we really gotten that complacent about the Stargate?" Jillian asked.

His eyebrows and his shoulders lifted. "It _is_ our day job," he said.

Jillian stared for a second and then annunciated carefully, "Daniel. The. Star. Gate."

Yes, it required them to accept the responsibility of being in first-line-of-defense military units. Yes, it often put them at extreme risk physically, mentally and emotionally.

But it also gave them a chance to play in the big, wide Galaxy and explore beyond their wildest dreams.

Her answer was the sheepish, boyish grin that she loved; gentle, sweet Daniel, who tried so hard to make their life outside the SGC as normal as possible, perceptive, brilliant Daniel with all the knowledge and insight of the galaxy in his soul.

"I hope you didn't get too much food," she went on, when she knew he got the significance of never taking the Star Gate for granted, "You know I won't be here for a few days."

"Oh, I am _more_ than aware that you won't be here, which means I will be," he answered, "You know I can't sleep on the Base when you're away."

She smiled sympathetically. She never could either; nor could either of them sleep in their master bedroom.

"So I should put sheets on the air mattress in the guest room?"

"I can do it," he said, "or I'll just crash on the couch."

There was a very long silence, filled with lingering eye contact. The gaze went through sadness, longing, understanding, an acceptance of excruciating loneliness that would have to be endured, cycled back to sadness again. Before the cycle could begin again, Daniel changed the subject,

"So what have you been doing all night?"

"Thinking of you," she answered.

He turned from the finished task and looked across the room at her, smiling a little.

"Weren't you supposed to be doing the translation from 657?"

"I have," she answered, "And it makes me think of you."

"What does it say?"

"It's all love poetry in this section."

His eyebrows arched.

"Poetry?"

"Yes, listen," and she began to recite in her lovely, contralto.

"Your skin glows like berries, blossoms sweet as roses in the purest hope of spring.

My yearning heart rises to your lilting voice and leaps like a hare at the whisper of your name

The evening ascends in a rush like wings. In the hush, I listen for the last soft breath of the day so that we might be together.

I am calmed by your love that I carry into the twilight of heart beams and hold with both hands next to my heart.

I am filled with hope that my love might dry the rain of your tears.

As the stars rise in the night sky, it reminds me of your love, ever present even when unseen. My heated lips leap to yours. I wait in the crystal moonlight for you so that we may take as one, soul to soul, in search of the glorious blue and spiritual body of love."

"Wow," he said, "That's lovely." He frowned a little, "Roses?"

"Some of it is my poetic license," she shrugged, "it didn't seem romantic to say prickly-stemmed flower; and this might be a love letter. There's a phrase I left out that is so incongruent I'm not sure how it fits in."

Daniel frowned as he closed the cabinet door.

"How does the phrase translate?"

"Pinnacle of strength; or possibly fire, the words are the same and I don't have a context here."

"Where does the phrase appear?"

Jillian slipped her glasses from the top of her head down over her eyes and checked her notes.

"Just before 'In the hush, I listen for the last soft breath of the day so that we might be together.' It doesn't make sense for an illusion of a pinnacle of fire or courage right there. It's out of place."

Daniel nodded. Jillian looked across the room and couldn't speak for a moment. He was staring, unseeing, at the window above the sink and she was mesmerized by his sculpted profile, the line of his jaw, his forehead, sharp cheek bones, the slightly upturned nose, his mouth satiny wet and full. She could see the smooth, pale skin of his throat and a hint of his chest in the open V of his plaid shirt.

He was made of flesh again – flesh and blood and bone and hot pulse and warm breath - and she ached for him. Her fingertips tingled with the need to touch him. She wanted his lips on her, his large, smooth hands….

"Is it a name?" he asked.

His question pulled her in, made her blink, pulled her from what had quickly been dissolving into a pleasure trance.

"Mmm?"

"Well, think about it," he said, caught up in the mystery and oblivious to the fact that she had been undressing him with her eyes. "If we were translating something from Hebrew to English and we came across my name, we'd write it out as 'god is my judge' and it would make no sense in context. Latin to English and your name translates as 'Jove's child', or 'child of the gods or'…" Daniel stopped abruptly, as if he'd honestly never thought about the meaning of either of their names. "Wow," he finished finally.

But Jillian was staring at him in something like awe. It was so typical of Daniel. While she had been going over and over the translation, chasing it around the room like a runaway mouse, Daniel had walked in and seen the dancing bear that was right in front of her. She picked up her notes again, scratched out 'pinnacle of strength/fire' and replaced it with the letter to letter 657 to Ancient to English equivalent.

"What does it say now?" Daniel asked, knowing what she had done.

"I can only guess at the pronunciation, but 'Virocan, in the hush, I listen for the last soft breath of the day so that we might be together."

"So, it's either a poem or a letter written to a man named Virocan," Daniel said.

"Or to a woman," she pointed out.

"Pinnacle of strength?" Daniel asked.

"That could be a woman!" Jillian said.

Daniel grinned. "It could certainly be several women I know," he admitted. "Do you want something?"

She knew he meant 'something from the kitchen' – something to eat or drink.

"I want you to get over here and kiss me," she said. Her voice was low and husky and filled with desire even to her own ears.

Daniel's eyes focused, and brightened in something like surprise, as if he'd just caught sight of her, across a room, after a long separation. He smiled, sexy and suddenly interested and Jillian could have lived a lifetime of memories in that one smile.

"Love poetry all night, huh?" he said, in that silky, seductive, sooooo masculine voice that made her weak even over the phone.

"Get over here, Jackson," she said, with a sultry, come-hither tilt of her head and a saucy smile.

By the time he reached the couch and came around to stand in front of her, she had cleared away her laptop and papers. Daniel took his glasses off and tossed them on the coffee table next to the laptop. He braced one hand on the back of the couch and the other on the arm as he leaned over to kiss her. Jillian arched up eagerly. Her right hand went around the back of his neck, holding him in place as their mouths met in a kiss that was intensely hot and intensely sweet.

But she stroked her left palm down his chest, over the smooth cotton of his shirt, past his belt and arrowed straight to his groin. Through the linen of his pants she cupped his balls in her palm, teased behind them with her fingertips and felt his cock twitch in surprise where it lay along her wrist. He was heavy with undemanding promise, thick and full in her hand.

He made a soft muffled sound against her mouth that dissolved into a moan. He managed to continue ravaging her mouth a bit longer, bracing his legs apart to give her hand better access. Jillian was breathing hard as they kissed, pleasuring him and drawing her own pleasure from his reaction.

Daniel stopped the kiss, rested his forehead against hers, eyes closed while tremors ran through his thighs and his fingers clenched the back of the couch and his body hardened and rose in response to her touch. He groaned, and it was low, coming straight from his chest.

When he couldn't stand the distance between them anymore he collapsed on to the couch beside her, half covering her in a fall of weight and tense muscle and rising male need. Jillian was radiating arousal in waves of heat. She started to put both arms around his neck but he caught her wrist and pressed her hand back against his groin.

"God, _don't stop_," he moaned.

His hand closed over her breast and he realized she wasn't wearing anything under the dark blue cotton t-shirt. Jillian arched her back, lifting into his touch. She made a soft sound of protest when he stopped but it was only long enough to pull her shirt out of the waistband of her shorts and slide his hand under it. Her eyes slid closed and her skin flushed from the collar of her shirt to her hair. He cupped and caressed and teased until she pushed up again and her breast stiffened to a sensitive peak under his palm.

Jillian had continued petting him through his slacks, but she stopped long enough to open the front of his shirt so that she could let her hand flow over the contours of his chest, brushing her thumbs against his nipples while she sucked the skin at the base of his throat and made soft, helpless little noises.

"Wait," Daniel gasped suddenly, "Wait, babe."

Her whimper got louder and more insistent but Daniel was only moving away so that he could wrestle with his belt and his fly, and two sets of waistbands. With swift, deft movements he stripped out of everything that still covered him from the waist down. Jillian sat up and inhaled sharply at the sight of him, half naked, shirt open, aroused, long, rigid, skin flushed. Her body was throbbing now, with tender, possessive desire. She watched as he shrugged the rest of the way out of his shirt, shoulders rolling, abs rippling, muscled forearms flexing.

She was hardly aware of him reaching for the hem of her shirt, lifting it over her head. The sudden rush of cooler air raised chills on her newly exposed skin, tightening her nipples even before his lips and tongue found one and his fingers found the other. Her fingers caught in his hair, holding him close. His hips shifted. He pressed her backwards until she was caught between his body and the couch, pinned but not unwillingly. In fact, it was completely and utterly erotic, to feel his strength holding her down, the solid masculine, insistent weight of him, his aroused cock pressed against her thigh; the delicious feel of skin on skin, his mouth full and satiny sweet teasing her breast.

She was making helpless little inarticulate sounds as her hands stroked down the valley of his spine, gripped his glutes and pulled him tighter. He nuzzled into Jillian's neck and pressed, kissed, nipped gently, still holding her still with his weight stretched out along hers. His mouth traveled to hers and she made a soft sound and opened to him, hungrily. Her mouth was warm, wet and silky, intensely responsive. Daniel kissed her deeply, searching and sliding with his tongue, stroking. Then he dragged his mouth around to her ear,

"We should take this into the bedroom."

"I don't think I can move," she whispered back. "Oh _god, Daniel, _please just _take_ me."

She was aware of a shift in the feel of him. There was a surge of power and she was suddenly aware of every muscle of his body as it pressed against hers, the sheer strength of him.

"I will but not here," he answered.

A smile tugged at her mouth even as it still played with and responded to his.

"Still don't think the couch is romantic enough?"

"It's not," he said, with certainty, "But that's not why. I want room to move."

He stood up, taking her by the wrist and drawing her to her feet with him in one single swift move. His arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close while his other hand slipped into her waist band and divested her of her shorts.

"Should I carry you?" he asked.

"I think I can make it."

Her bloodstream rippling with pleasure Jillian let him lead her into their bedroom. He lit the fire in the fireplace and dimmed the lights while she turned down the covers and stretched out on the bed, waiting for him anxiously. He slipped in beside her, hovered for a moment before drawing her close, threading his fingers into her hair and then running his palm down the side of her face.

"I love you, Jill," he said.

"I love you, too."

There was sweet, hard muscle under her hands as she ran them down his sides, cupped his hips and pulled him towards her, suddenly so aroused she couldn't think straight anymore.

His lips touched hers – asking, not taking, offering but not begging. Her mouth melted under his, into his. He leaned over to push her down into the mattress again, cradling her in one arm. His free hand made teasing, aimless patterns on her skin, moving randomly; hers moved between them, found his pulsing cock and stroked it just to touch, just to worship it. They stayed that way for a long time, just touching and kissing.

"Tell me what you want," he murmured against her mouth.

"Should be obvious," she answered, voice slurred with desire. "I want you."

She felt him smile.

"I think you're a little ahead of me," he said, "All that love poetry. Do you want to try to make it last or take the edge off first?"

Jillian gathered enough brain cells to form a coherent answer. She leaned back to look into his eyes.

"I want you to do whatever you want," she answered.

Daniel inhaled softly and his eyes dilated to black. It was an almost unbelievable feeling, to know she could give him this level of trust. She knew he would be gentle, not cross the lines they had already established, that she trusted him to _remember_ what those lines were.

Sometimes it meant more to him that she trusted him than that she loved him.

The width and breadth of his hand ran down over her abs and her hip and paused on her thigh.

"Hand?" he asked.

She whimpered and her leg muscles melted. He could feel the willingness. He reached behind her knee and brought her leg up over his. Finger swirled up the silky inside of her thigh.

"You used to have a problem with certain…intimacies," he said, to reassure her that he _did_ remember.

It was her turn to smile, her lips curving on the skin of his throat.

"You cured me."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh yes. You…." Her breath hitched and her voice caught, "it's so different with you, Daniel. Yes, please."

He pressed closer to her, bringing as much of their bodies into contact as possible. Jillian liked to be held. She liked to be held close and tight. She never wanted him very far away, even when she was on top. His mouth coaxed hers open so they could kiss while he touched her.

His fingers teased, slick with her own desire, opened her gently. He stroked her for a long time, paying tender attention to the outside before sliding further. He waited to see her reaction.

"Oh _god, Daniel," _she tucked herhead under his chin, pulled her arms in tight and laid her hands flat on his chest.

Usually that meant she was becoming intensely turned on and need to anchor on him.

"More?" he asked, his voice falling in an erotic whisper.

"Yeah," she could hardly breathe any more.

His fingers began to move inside. Not pushing in, not penetrating, not pretending it was his cock, but running lightly around, teasing, stimulating. Two fingers, turned up, stroking and sliding gently, a soft caress, a touch that worshipped.

Her hips lifted and pressed towards him, begging him to continue. He stroked with a little more pressure but no more speed, making little circles.

"_Baby_…" she gasped.

He kissed her deeply, lips and tongue and jaw working and his thumb did something truly incredible and her body arched, thrashing. Her hands fluttered away from his chest, found his forearms. Her nails sank into his skin.

"_Dan….Dan…ohgodohgodohgod…."_

She twisted so that her face was buried in the hollow of his shoulder and he knew she was utterly overwhelmed, transported, transformed. He stopped teasing her, moved his hand to the center of her back to hold them hip to hip, switched the position of their legs so that hers were trapped and held tight between his.

She gasped through the peaks of it and sometimes the sounds still took on the shape of his name and he held her through the aftershocks when she couldn't make any sounds at all anymore.

Daniel lost his ability to breathe vicariously experiencing her orgasm. It was fierce and somehow innocent, trusting, holding nothing back. Her hands gradually released their grip on his arms as her body went limp inside and out. She tipped her head back, hair mussed, a gentle look of misty shock in her eyes and her face filled with awe.

"How can something like that be possible?" she murmured.

He was smiling when he kissed her forehead.

"It was good?" he asked.

He would have thought she was exhausted but she laughed, tossed her head back and kissed him.

"Baby, if the women on the Base knew what you were capable of doing there would be a stampede, a riot. I could auction you and retire to the Caribbean for the rest of my life. You'd have to post a sign-up sheet on the door of your office…"

Daniel laughed. "Stop!"

Jillian levered up and used the momentum to push him over on his back. She nuzzled his cheek with hers.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"To watch you do that again," he answered.

"Then tell me what _you _want," she continued to urge.

"Touching," he said, "Touching is good; and stroking. I'm not in a rush."

Jillian smiled, snuggled down beside him and rested her head on forearm.

She ran her fingers along his collarbone, stroked down to pause over his heart and felt his pulse echoed back against her palm. Daniel let her stroke him for a long time, gentle swirling brushes of all five fingers, soft possessive caresses with the flat of her hand; throat, chest, nipples down his side, over his hip, around his abs, over the dip beside his hip bones and across the sensitive skin below his navel. She teased two fingers around his navel and drifted down to brush against his cock, and then his balls; long light strokes on the soft satin rigid iron of his erection. She held him tight enough to get what was left of his foreskin up over the edge, enough times to make him groan and shift and whimper. Even after all this time she still did that in a curious, exploratory way, as if it was still the most erotic thing to her. Her touch was perfect, never verging on ticklish, always just enough pressure and contact in each sweet place.

He was losing focus, losing coherent thought and the ability to be rational.

"Jill," he said, suddenly, "I can't ….we can't…just do this much longer."

Her body curled a little, as if she would move down.

"Do you want me to …"

"No," it was quick and fierce, assertive, "No. I love that and you know it, but I want to hold you. Please tell me you're ready."

Her body relaxed, surrendered. He urged her onto her side, kissing her shoulders and the back of her neck and the over sensitive spot between her shoulder blades. He spooned around her, wrapped her up tight.

Jillian sighed in delight. She had seen Daniel with his arms crossed over his chest, holding in sorrow or holding out questions. Now she knew how strong that hug could be when it was used to hold her close, trying to get all her slim, muscled curves as close as possible. He put a hand under her knee, positioned himself carefully, felt the warm, slick inviting silk and then thrust upward in a long, quick glide.

A smooth roll of his hips and he settled into place. A tremor ran through her. She curled her hands around his arms, clinging to him, needing an anchor again.

_Daniel… _Nothing but the sweet glory of Daniel completely sheathed in her, moving so slowly she could have wept from the pleasure. She contracted on him and the deliberate caress made them both moan. Movement after movement causing ecstasy, pleasure coursing through them, feeding back and forth between them, the hot feeling of his breath on her neck, his voice in her ear, the heat of him soaking into her back and her hips and her thighs, the scent of him…..

"_Oh my god, baby_," she whispered.

Daniel rocked into her, finding a slow, easy rhythm, working deeply. His heart was pounding against her back. His arms were locked around her hard enough to crush ribs.

"_Jill_," he gasped, "_god, I…I…."_

Words fled.

"_Daniel!" _She sounded stunned, as if the moment of exquisite pleasure had caught her utterly off guard.

Daniel's body engulfed hers in a surge of masculine weight and warmth and power pressing her into the bed and hard against him. He rolled his hips, pushing and spreading and rocking through the deep contractions. His own release ambushed him just as completely. Chills ran the length of his body, a ripple like circulation cutting off, like pins and needles as nerve endings over sensitized, raced through him finding a source of release. He cried out once and then was silent, robbed of oxygen, teeth clenched. He moved reflexively, thrusting hard, spasming, flayed alive by pleasure.

Daniel's world grayed-out around the edges and must have stayed that way for a while because when he came to, Jillian had turned over to face him again, cuddled up close and breathing slowly.

He kissed her temple where the damp tendrils of her hair were starting to dry. Softly he quoted,

"_As the stars rise in the night sky, it reminds me of your love, ever present even when unseen_."

She tilted her head back, smiled a little.

"You remember that from hearing it once?"

"I was struck by that line," he mused, He brushed his knuckles across her cheek, "Tomorrow night, at ten o'clock our time, look up at the stars and I will too and even from light years apart it can be one thing we still share. Think about how much I love you. Okay?"

She nodded so that he could feel the movement against his chest, glad that it was too dark in the room for him to see the tender tears that rose in her eyes.

(0)


	77. Chapter 77

**This begins at the very end of Chimera, and will take a few chapters to give the story of Sarah Gardner some kind of satisfactory ending. I always thought this was one of those loose ends SG1 could have tied up better.**

**(0)**

Blood-singing, heart pounding, watching the chevrons lock and _knowing_ it was Jillian, knowing because Walter had already ID'd SG8's code and Jillian was the only member of SG8 currently off world, wanting only to look into her eyes so he could find himself again and tell her – for once! – all was right in their world.

More than right. Just a hair shy of perfect in fact.

The wormhole surged, boiled in the air and settled down again. There was a soft squelching sound and then a group of airmen and marines came through pushing containers that Daniel knew had once held new supplies and now held garbage being packed out. He went to the bottom of the ramp and let the returning personnel go around him like water around a boulder.

She was one of the last ones to come through, walking towards him until he could pull her into his arms; and he brought her close, threading a hand into her hair. Her curves molded against his body as their lips met in a brief and correct public display of affection.

Then he turned his head towards her ear, murmured, "I missed you" and buried his face against her neck. He inhaled and caught the rich warm scent of a desert oasis, clean, subtle, energizing, mixing with the jasmine and aloe of her perfume.

A shiver went through Jillian. As the rest of the personnel filed out of the room and left them alone her body went fluid, supple in Daniel's arm, a sinuous curved of her back, her lovely weight coming to rest against him as tension drained from her muscles. Daniel pressed his hand against the base of her spine and Jillian yielded, as much as she could, in a Gate Room were personnel were still milling around in the room above them.

Jillian breathed his name into the fabric of his shirt. Daniel scrunched his fingers into the cluster of nerves in her lower back. She sighed a bit and he realized she had been dreading the moment they began talking. She looked up at him with eyes full of anticipation and dread and resistance; and he let himself wonder for a moment about the life they led.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he answered, as if he couldn't believe it himself, "There is so much that is _right_ I don't even know how to start."

Startled she looked up and met his eyes finally.

"Annie?"

"Going to be released at the end of the week."

"That's wonderful!"

"Yes. Scott's freaking out a little. He's moving in with her and there's a whole storage unit of stuff he's been packing over there."

"Did you let him borrow the truck?"

"Yes, but I think he'd be glad if you stay here for a while and help him get the place nice for her. He said something about giving it a 'woman's touch'. I think he means those little air freshener things you've got plugged in all over the place."

Jillian shook her head indulgently. "Yeah, something like that. What do the doctors say?"

"She should be fine in another few weeks, as long as she keeps going to physical therapy."

Daniel hugged her a little tighter. The body in his arms was still warm and soft, willing, relaxing. Home again. Still she frowned.

"There's more," she guessed.

He had no plan for how to tell her so he just blurted it out.

"We rescued Sarah. Osiris is dead."

Jillian would have taken a step back from him had she been able to. Her lips parted and she took a sharp breath. Her eyes widened and her pupils dilated in the harsh fluorescent light, black in a thin ring of green.

"That is the last thing I thought you were going to say."

"Yeah I know," he admitted and then he smiled, broadly and Jillian's heart did a minor somersault.

She wondered if he knew how much she loved it when Daniel had one of his brief flares of true happiness.

"Is she all right?"

"Yes, and… she's still here, on the Base."

"Where else would she be? After this kind of trauma, there isn't anywhere else in the galaxy she should be."

"You're okay with it?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

A Gate crew came in carrying packs and equipment for the next team scheduled to go off world. Daniel loosened his grip on her, making it easy for her to pull away if she chose.

"No reason, but I wanted to make sure," he said, hesitantly.

Jillian's eyes narrowed. "You told me once that I had nothing to be worried about when it came to Sarah and I took you at your word. Has that changed?"

"No, you're the most important thing in the world to me. But I want to be there for Sarah as much as possible right now."

"I know you do. I'd be disappointed in you if you didn't. I'll help too if she'll let me."

Daniel let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"You're the most rational woman I know, besides Sam… and Janet. You've never been a jealous girlfriend. I don't know why I thought you'd be a jealous fiancé."

"Has Sam talked to her?"

"I don't think so, why?"

Jillian shrugged. "She might be the one most able to relate to what Sarah went through because of… you know… Jolinar."

Daniel blinked. "You know, that's really a very good idea."

"It's about time I had a brilliant idea before you did," she said drily. "I'm sure Sam will help."

"She's kind of dealing with Pete right now."

"What's wrong with Pete?"

"Nothing, but he knows all about the Star Gate program now."

"What?"

Daniel glanced over his shoulder at the Gate crew.

"Let's go to our room," he said. "This is going to take a while."

They fell into side by side step. Daniel put one arm across her lower back and let his hand fall on her hip to pull it up against his as they walked.

"Since I just said you were the most important thing in the world to me, can we snuggle a little?" he asked.

He glanced down just in time to see the sultry look in her eyes. His body went from warm to broil in less than a heartbeat.

"I've been gone for four days, Daniel. I was hoping you'd want to do more than that," she said.

(0)

"You should probably sit down," Daniel said.

Jillian gave him a speculative look but took his suggestion. She took off her desert tan boots and stripped out of her socks with a sigh of relief. She sat down in the middle of the bed, folding her long legs under her as if to meditate.

Daniel leaned back against the dresser, folded his arms across his chest and crossed his ankles. He gave her a look of inquiry, eyebrows raised, waiting. She knew the look. It said, _I'm about to go into 'really long explanation' mode and probably start talking really fast after a bit so you've got ten seconds to either stop me or get comfortable._

There was a hint of a smile on his lips, a look in his eyes that was both challenge and hesitation. She gave him slightly raised eyebrows and an open gesture with both hands that said, _Go ahe_ad.

"Okay, there's going to be some of this that you won't like, but it all seems to have started the first night you were off world, when I went home and tried to sleep. I started having odd dreams. Now it's not weird for me to have trouble sleeping or to have odd dreams, especially when you're gone. But I did think something was a little wrong about dreaming of a former girlfriend. I've never had a dream about Sarah, at least not _that _Sarah, or those two months that we dated, much less to suddenly start having them several nights in a row. Only it wasn't exactly Sarah. It looked like her but she wasn't acting like herself. She was… different, more charming, more flattering, way less demanding. It was confusing.

"At first I thought it was just how I wanted her to be, but that isn't really true either. I wanted Sarah to be rescued, to be safe, but I couldn't understand why I would suddenly be dreaming about the early days of our relationship and trying to somehow rewrite them at the same time. Then I decided I was over thinking the whole thing. But it seemed to be interfering with my normal sleep pattern…okay, I know I don't really _have_ a normal sleep pattern but I wasn't getting any rest at all. Morning would come and I was just exhausted still.

"As the dreams progressed, Sarah gave me a fragment of a tablet and I was trying to translate it and she was very anxious for me to find out what it said. During the day I talked to Sam and Teal'c about it and at first we thought it was my subconscious memories of being Ascended, that I was trying to access them to find the location of the Lost City. The tablet Sarah gave me in the dream looked a lot like the one we found in Ra's treasure room so that made sense to me. I still can't figure out how Sarah – Osiris actually – even knew about it to begin with, at least enough to recreate the image of one that was similar to use in the dream, but that's getting a little ahead of the story so just hold that thought for a second.

"The dreams got more intense and I couldn't translate the text at all and Sarah went from being very supportive to being a little more insistent about it. I talked to Sam and Teal'c again and Teal'c suggested the Goa'uld memory device. You remember? That thing Hathor tried to use to get information from us? That was when we figured out – and this is one of the parts you aren't going to like, _cariño_ but just stay with me for a little until I finish - that Osiris was using an Asgard beam and getting into the house at night and using this memory thing to guide my dreams, to get me to reveal where the Lost City is. We talked to Jack and General Hammond and we decided to lure Osiris back to the house and interrupt the Asgard beam and capture her. But not just capture her right away – and you're _really _not going to like any of this – but let her put me back in the dream to see if I could find the location of the Lost City before we captured her.

"I know! I know, but I was safe. I promise. The device is supposed to create total recall. We had to take the chance, if there was any chance at all that I could remember. Jack and Teal'c were there, in the house, with me, the whole time. Sam was outside in a surveillance van monitoring us. Towards morning I began to realize, even while dreaming, that I don't know where the Lost City is. I don't think I ever did, and the information wasn't on the tablet because it wasn't real and it didn't say anything. I confronted her and woke up and then all hell broke loose for a couple of minutes – including finding out that Pete had tailed Sam to the stake out and _he_ got involved and that's why he knows all about the program now. Teal'c and Jack brought down Osiris with a tranquilizer. We brought her back here and Hammond had the Tok'ra standing by and Sarah is free and she's going to be staying here for a while."

His recitation came to a halt just before going hypersonic. Jillian stared at him, eyes so wide they were true green even in the harsh fluorescent light. Daniel's eyes roved over her face, more familiar to him than his own and certainly more beloved, searching for her reaction. Her head was tilted ever so slightly, lifted up. Her lips were parted and she was breathing in a slow deliberate way.

"_Wǒ cào,_ _bǎobèi_," she murmured. Then louder, but thankfully, the fire in her eyes was amusement and adoration, maybe a little annoyance but not much, "I left for a week and you let a Goa'uld into the house -"

"Well I didn't exactly have a whole lot to say about it –"

"- and then pretty much _offered_ yourself up to her in some …some… _god_ I want to say _stupid_ attempt to get information but it's not stupid, it's just _you_ –"

"Hey!"

"- to say nothing of the fact that you were in our bedroom with another woman every night while I was gone –"

"Guest room! I was in the guest room!"

"Oh so you admit it?"

They both stopped talking and stared at each other for a moment and Jillian's eyes were dancing. A mischievous smile threatened her lips. Finally Daniel said,

"You know, I remember a time when you were afraid to cuss in front of me."

Jillian grinned a little, still fighting it. "Do you remember the first time I let you have it like a Chinese sailor?"

Daniel frowned and then shook his head.

"Good," Jillian said.

"Was I Ascended at the time?" Daniel guessed.

"Yes," she admitted.

Daniel shook his head and smiled indulgently. "_Yānhuŏ_," he said.

"_Shén jīng bìng_," she shot back.

Laughter gurgled out of her before she could stop it. His happiness was infectious and she got caught in it like an incoming tide.

Daniel grinned and then surged forward so suddenly it shocked her. One moment he was in front of the dresser and then he was on the bed, colliding with her in a shower of sparks and arms and legs and love; tumbling them both over to sprawl on the bed.

"I'm so in love with you right now," he said.

"And a little turned on?" she asked.

"More than a little," he answered, "You?"

"I found it totally hot that you knew what parts of this adventure would upset me."

"Yeah?" Surprise, eye brows lifted. His palm started making slow circles on her shoulder. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, but, I'm still a little freaked out that there was a Goa'uld in our house."

"We'll have it fumigated," he said. His mouth was close to hers, brushing in a semi-kiss.

"And finally look into that security system?"

"Whatever you want," he agreed, voice husky, nipping at her lower lip, then her upper lip, flicking his tongue against hers. Jillian nuzzled back and got a gentle press of his forehead in response, "Just don't be mad. I missed you so much, _liefling, _and I had so much to tell you."

Jillian's dark green eyes slid shut, her lashes cinnamon-tinted cocoa smudges on her cheeks. Her mouth opened under his. Daniel claimed it, pressed into it, pressed her back into the mattress. Jillian sighed and wrapped her arms as far as they would go around his shoulders, stroking the skin and soft fuzz of hair on the back of his neck, breathing in the familiar Daniel-scent.

"Do you want to know what I usually dream?" he asked, and she knew what was going to happen and she let it, in fact craved it. She was about to be seduced with tender touches and even more tender words.

"Mmm?" she said, by way of answer, looking now the clear blue sea of his eyes, inches from hers.

"I dream that you're there, with me, in bed. Just sleeping there beside me and I think about the way you breathe, and the way your hair fans out on the pillow. I dream that I can feel your weight beside me and that you're wrapped around me."

He paused and sucked gently at the pulse beating in her throat, not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to make her sigh again and tilt her head to give him better access.

"Are you actually asleep when you're having this dream?" There was laughter in her voice, the simple throaty laughter that told him she was willing to play.

"Sometimes," he said, "other times I think I'm in that place in between."

"Mmm," she said again, nose rubbing back and forth against his, lips touching and parting with no real purpose. "Have we made love in this dream?"

"Not always," he said.

"Oh?" she paused between kisses, surprised.

He reached out to trace her cheek with his thumb and she reached up to mirror him.

"No," he started running his fingers down her arm, his expression was misty, slightly awestruck, "Sometimes we have, but whether we're exhausted from that or just so drained from our daily lives that we can hardly stay awake, you roll over into my arms and sigh and," Daniel paused again, as if suddenly hesitant to give voice to his next thought, as if it might be too fragile, like a soap bubble that could only exist in the air for so long. He took a long breath and then he took the rest, "and then I say how much I love you, and I know I've never been happier in my life, Jillian," he breathed the last word as if it were magic,

"… _never_."

(0)

Cariño – Spanish, love, honey, darling, dear

Wǒ cào, Bǎobèi – Chinese, holy f**k, baby

Yānhuŏ – Chinese, firecracker, firework

Shén jīng bìng – Chinese, one who is insane (in a good way)

Liefling – Dutch, little sweetheart


	78. Chapter 78

It was Daniel's climax that spun Jillian's pleasure off the edge, though it was usually the other way around. It might have had something to do with how his fingers had slipped along the skin of her inner thigh and found the sweet, sweet place he knew far too well just as his words had lost all cohesion. He stopped moving, knowing that he was too close and too intensely turned on, drenched in hot, wet silk and her warm breath and her fingers brushed the separation between his balls and he arched and clawed the sheets and went off like a series of missile strikes. Something hot and sticky hit the underside of his jaw, his collar bone….

After that his focused narrowed to just the two of them.

He was vaguely aware of her joining him: stroking him rapidly, sobbing his name. He groped for her blindly, caught her shoulder, her waist and hip, finally came into contact with her hand and laced their fingers together as they raced across ecstasy together.

She kept stroking him, squeezing gently, until he was spent and his body was melting into the bed. His breathing was deep. His jaw went lax, lips parted.

She came up into the circle of his arms, looking entirely too smug and just perfectly satisfied, eyes glazed a little, hair tousled. The whole damp naked length of her measured out along his. Daniel gathered her close, pressed his forehead to hers and started to chuckle softly, stunned into amazement and adoration.

"Jillian," it was part gasp, part laugh. "_Oh, god, Jillian, oh god…"_

She leaned up a little, smiling as she kissed him. He felt chills rise over her body, for no apparent reason, and a hard shuddering series of aftershocks that made her purr and snuggle against him and breathe with her own contended laughter.

She thought about teasing him a little about toppling false gods as part of his day job and then having religious orgasms in the privacy of their bedroom but decided not to. Daniel had been unusually happy lately, with a kind of infectious joy that was irresistible, open, charming, eyes sparkling more than normal.

The whole morning had been like this – playful and enchanted, full of laughter and moans of delight and helplessness, trying to outdo each other, pausing only long enough to cobble together breakfast and coffee and pineapple juice before tumbling back into bed for another round of intimacy.

Jillian shifted and then winced, groaning a little. He lifted an eyebrow.

"Wet spot?" he asked, sympathetically.

"More of a wet…area, maybe a zone," she said, drily, teasing, "with its own zip code."

He laughed, even though he flushed deeply.

"Next time we'll put down an extra sheet," he said.

"Next time we should put down a tarp," she answered. "But seriously, next time? It's already been… how many times?"

"Lost track," he admitted, "You know I'm not good with things that have numbers in them." He lifted his head and looked down, ruefully, aware of a slow trickle running from his abs to his hip, "But we're going to need a shower anyway…"

"A shower? Singular? At the same time?"

"Do you have any idea how late for work we are?" he asked.

She snuggled down into the hollow of his shoulder again, slid her thigh up and down his.

"No," she answered, "It's one of those things with numbers in it. Couldn't we just call in?"

"Call in sick?" he asked.

She tilted her head, nipped at his jaw. "Love sick," she said, "Hopelessly. It's a condition I've had for years, since I used to crush on you back when I first joined the program."

"Crush on me?" Humor lit like fireflies in his voice.

"Oh, it was awful," Jillian said, with mock seriousness, "It was 'Dear Diary, today his hand brushed against mine in the lab. I can hardly bear to wash it."

Daniel tossed his head back and laughed.

"Stop it, "he said.

Jillian went on with blithe hopelessness, "So now there's no cure for my love sickness, and I'm having a horribly feverish morning and the only cure is incessant hot sex with you."

He laughed again, sparkled again. Jillian decided that kicking Goa'uld ass was good for Daniel. She also decided not to mention it.

"Actually I was taking the afternoon off anyway. I suspect Sam's going to call soon."

"Afternoon off?" he repeated, "Did you clear that with your boss?"

"He'll understand," she pressed a kiss against his shoulder, "He's a pretty understanding guy."

"Well that depends," her boss drawled, "What are you and Sam planning to do?"

"We're taking Sarah out, shopping, maybe lunch, if it isn't already too late for that."

She looked over his prone form at the clock on the nightstand. 10:38. Still time if Sam and Sarah were still interested. She looked up to find Daniel staring thoughtfully at the ceiling. It was the most serious expression she'd seen on his face in days.

"Dan? Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's great," he said, "Take her to the Greek. She likes Greek food and you can sit outside on the patio. Maybe if she's ready for it, we can have a get together here at the house this weekend. Barbecue steaks?"

"Surround her with a whole bunch of people who know all about the Goa'uld and still lead normal lives?" Jillian filled in the blanks for him.

"Something like that," he said.

"I think it's a great idea, but why don't we wait until next Fri? It's 4th of July and, that I know of, no one has stepped up to say they'll hold the barbecue yet. I think everyone's waiting on Jack."

"You're right and I don't think Jack feels like it this year," he said.

Jillian accepted that as gospel. Daniel was as fluent in 'Jack O'Neill' as he was in any language.

"I love you," she said, with a random spontaneity that made him grin again and she smiled back because when she was lying enfolded in his arms sticky and crystallizing and sated and she was staring at his sweet, familiar profile in the morning light of their bedroom…. Then all she ever wanted was to smile.

His arm tightened around her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too, babe," he said.

(0)

"Did Daniel put you up to this?" Sarah asked, stabbing pieces of Greek salad with her fork.

"To the Greek food?" Jillian asked, "Yes. But not to taking you out for the day. We thought you might like to go and have a look around."

"It's nice that he remembered," she said.

Their waiter came and asked if there was anything they needed. Sam and Jillian both smiled and said they were fine. Sarah managed a brief, sidelong glance and a nod. Their waiter was a handsome young man named Philip. He had classic Mediterranean good looks, olive skin, dark eyes, wavy ink-black hair, a flirty smile and wasn't shy about flattering the three lovely women at his table.

He also looked a lot like the first commander of the legion of Jaffa Anubis had given Osiris. Sarah had watched in helpless horror as Osiris had tortured him to death with a ribbon device for his part in their failure to seize Tollana.

She fixed her gaze on her chicken souvlaki and French fries. She missed the look Jillian and Sam shared just before Sam asked,

"Sarah? Everything okay? We can go back whenever you need to."

Sarah looked up and hoped she wasn't pale and wide eyed. She was _not_ responsible for the actions of Osiris. She wasn't.

She forced a smile. It had been hard to remember how to smile.

"No this is nice," she said.

It was, because the invitation had come from two women totally unconnected to her psychiatric visits and medical checkups and it wasn't done to see if she could 're-engage the outside world.' It had been a simple gesture of friendship, an invitation to come along on a 'girl's afternoon' – from a woman who had once been blended with a parasitic species and sometimes understood what Sarah was trying to say even when she herself didn't; and from the woman who made Daniel's entire being light up every time she walked into a room.

Sarah might have been jealous of Jillian, under different circumstances. As it was she was only glad he had found someone who could help him live this bizarre existence. This Daniel was different from the one she had known. His hair had undergone a considerable shearing at some point for one thing. He was unusually comfortable in a uniform, in a way she would never in a million years have guessed he ever could be. The only other thing she had seen him in so far had been a sharp pair of nearly white chinos and a dark blue polo shirt that brought out his eyes. Daniel wearing clothes that fit, or looked like he even cared if they matched, would have been unheard of when they had been together.

She thought maybe Jillian had something to do with that.

She picked at the new floral print dress she was wearing.

"I'm glad I finally have something to wear besides borrowed military garb," she added.

She had hesitated when they first invited her, wondering how she was supposed to pay for anything and then found out that the US government had reopened all her frozen accounts. She had shiny new credit cards and a fresh checkbook.

She just had no idea if she still had a job anywhere. It was hard to imagine going back to Egyptology. She would never look at it the same way, never handle an artifact without terror, never open a doorway or sarcophagus without being certain there was something lurking, waiting to take her over again.

"After lunch, if you're still for it, we thought we'd take you to the Boutique at the Broadmoor," Jillian said.

"What is the Broadmoor?" Sarah asked, grateful for the distraction.

"It's the local tourist stop," Sam said, with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.

"It's a resort," Jillian shot Sam a chastising look. "Shopping, dining, hotel, private cabins, dancing. It's just opposite the Rockies and lovely, really. We thought you might like to go and have a look, but if you aren't feeling up to it we can…"

"No that's fine," Sarah said, hurriedly. She risked looking straight at both of them and realized they were looking back with no small amount of concern. "I just… I've never been any further west in the States than Chicago. I wanted fresh air and blue skies after being underground this week, but there's just…. So _much _of it out here."

Jillian laughed.

"I know what you mean. I went to boarding school in Gloucestershire. I know that's considered being in 'country' but it isn't like the American west."

"You grew up in England?" Sarah asked.

Jillian paused to finish the bite of gyro she had just taken.

"Yes, from the age of 11 until I started UCL Archaeology when I was 17," Jillian answered. "My father was working in Beijing for most of that time and he didn't like some of the things I was picking up from the help. So he sent me to school in Cheltenham, in England."

"Cheltenham Ladies College," Sarah said. "I'm familiar with it. I have family in Tewkesbury; and I suppose that explains it."

"Pardon?" Jillian said.

"You've been using more and more of a British style of speaking. I must have you channeling your inner Brit."

Jillian looked startled. "No I haven't."

She looked at Sam for confirmation, but Sam held her thumb and forefinger a few centimeters apart and mouthed quietly, "A little bit."

Sam shared a grin with Sarah.

"No I haven't," Jillian insisted.

"Jillian," Sam said, "Do you have any idea how many times you've said 'shall' today?"

"Have I?"

"You've got a trace of an accent too," Sarah noted.

Now Jillian sighed in defeat.

"Daniel says I do, too, but I certainly have never heard it."

"Well if anyone would hear it, Daniel would," Sarah said, "He has an amazing ear. Have you heard him play the piano?"

Sarah stopped abruptly, uncertain about the propriety of mentioning any kind of intimate knowledge of another woman's fiancé.

"Christmas carols at the party last year, "Sam said, off handedly. "By ear, or from memory."

"No, Sam," Jillian said, "It probably was from memory, thankfully, but he can read sheet music; and when he lets go," she paused, smiled in a misty way and finished softly, "it's positively brilliant."

There was a brief silence that Sam ended by saying, "Positively brilliant? And you still claim not to be going British?"

It made Jillian groan and Sam and Sarah laugh.

Sarah looked across the table at Sam and thought how utterly grateful she was for all the friendship Sam had shown her. There wasn't a psychiatrist on planet Earth, or anywhere in the galaxy, who knew how to treat a patient who had been through what Sarah had been through. There was only Sam, really.

She reached for her glass of iced tea – a taste she had acquired in Chicago - and appreciated the minor miracle of having control over her own body.

"Samantha," she leaned forward, glanced around and judged all the other patrons of the outdoor patio to be far enough away and said, "Tell me about the Tok'ra."

This time she saw the significant look that Sam shared with Jillian.

"Please," she said, "I really need to know, to understand the difference. You said the man who came and removed the Osiris Goa'uld was your father. He became a willing host to one of those…those…."

Her hands fluttered somewhat helplessly.

"He isn't a host to a Goa'uld," Sam said, quickly, "He lives in a mutual symbiotic relationship with a Tok'ra."

"Isn't that just semantics?" Sarah pressed.

"No, the Tok'ra are violently opposed to the Goa'uld in every way. My father could walk away whenever he chose, but this is his way of defending Earth. He works with Selmac to infiltrate the Goa'uld and keep them squabbling amongst themselves until we can wipe them out altogether."

"And you were a willing host as well?" Sarah asked.

Jillian looked at Sam anxiously. This was tricky territory.

"Not at first," she admitted, "But now I understand. Jolinar was desperate. Her host was dying. She had to survive. In the end, I failed her and she saved my life. The Tok'ra have devoted centuries to doing away with the Goa'uld."

Sarah said nothing more for a while. They finished their lunch. Sam and Jillian treated Sarah to hers, insisting that they wanted to. They declined dessert but as they gathered purses and headed for the exit, Sam said,

"We skipped dessert. Does that mean we can all go back to Jillian's later for tea and 'biscuits'?"

Jillian gave her light playful shove in the direction of the car.

"Shut up," she said, with a laugh.

"You mean 'belt up'," Sarah corrected, "or shut your mush?"

Jillian groaned and shook her head.

"Stop!" she said,

"Good thing I'm driving," Sam said, "You'd probably take off down the left side of the road."

As she slipped into the backseat, Jillian muttered, affectionately,

"Bugger off, Sam."

(0)


	79. Chapter 79

**Another section that works towards wrapping up Sarah's storyline.**

**(0)**

"You're sure it's okay?" Sam asked

She and Janet were in the kitchen with Jillian helping to slice tomatoes for the barbecue. Sam couldn't help but notice how neat and precise Janet's slices were compared to hers.

Jillian finished stirring a pot of baked beans heating on the stove, put the lid back on and turned to Sam with a smile.

"Of course it is," she said, "What's an SGC barbecue without at least a handful of off world aliens? We've got Cassie and Nyan and a few Tok'ra. We knew your dad was coming."

"Yes but we didn't know it would be 'plus 2'," Sam said, glancing out the window above the sink at Jacob chatting amicably with Jillian's father. Freya and the other member of the Tok'ra who had tagged along, Errik, were standing beside them, politely sipping at plastic cups full of bright red punch.

Errik was Freya's brother and had just barely survived a mission gone bad. The physical evidence of his injuries was healing. The emotional scars were not. His mate had also been seriously injured. The host, Illias, had died. The Tok'ra, Anouk, was barely alive. Jacob had dragged them off world to get Errik some 'fresh air'. Freya had tagged along to keep an eye on him, though privately Sam wondered if she hadn't just wanted to see Jack again.

Jillian brushed it off. "It's fine, Sam. It's been kind of good for Sarah, really; though I'm not sure she really believes any of them are blended."

Janet spoke up as she arranged tomatoes in an artist circle on a serving platter.

"Maybe we can find a private place to demonstrate?" she suggested, "If it's all right with them. I think it would be _very_ good for Sarah."

"Medical opinion?" Sam asked. "Her experience was very different from being blended with a Tok'ra, even from my experience though mine started the same way hers did."

"I'm not talking about helping her with the exact experience," Janet said, "It's more that she needs to know there are people out there, more technologically advanced than we are, who are working to destroy the Goa'uld."

Sam and Jillian both pondered that for a moment.

"That might be exactly what she needs to hear," Sam said, finally. "It might be why she's been asking so many questions about the Tok'ra. She's certainly been exposed to enough to know that we can't defeat the Goa'uld on our own."

"Exactly," Janet said, "She's not stupid."

Daniel came through the sliding glass door just then.

"Who's not stupid?" he asked, brow furrowing.

"Sarah," Jillian said and gave him a look that said, _it's okay, let it go._ He was still on an adrenaline high from smiting their latest false god. He was also a little over protective of Sarah. Jillian's steadfast devotion to Daniel and faith in him made that endearing instead of something that caused jealousy.

From behind the reflection of light off his glasses, Daniel gave her a visual nod in return. _If you say so…_

"Is the grill together yet?" Jillian asked, hopefully. "The burgers are ready."

"Well, the last time I looked," Daniel began, "Jack, Teal'c, Rusty and Mal were all working on it at the same time." He looked slightly bemused.

"Well then it should be finished in no time with military precision," Janet said, cheerfully.

Daniel shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and rocked on his heels a little.

"When I left," he said, cautiously, "it looked more like all four of the three stooges were at work. In fact that's why I Ieft, before I took a finger in the eye or a wrench somewhere much worse."

Jillian laughed. Sam tried not to grin and Janet gave him a mock withering look.

"I'm surprised you managed to get Jack away from the keg," Jillian observed.

Daniel grinned. "I think I may be his new favorite team member."

"You know," Sam said, "Most people who invite a whole bunch of friends and family for a barbecue have the grill put together _before_ everyone arrives."

"Well that _was_ the plan," Jillian said, "When we decided to do this, Daniel went out to Lowe's with Jack and they came back with a suburban assault grill –"

"Hey!"

"Daniel, the box barely fit in Jack's truck! - And we were going to put it together but then we all got sent off world and didn't get back until yesterday-"

"-and if the Air Force Corp of Engineers out there can't get it together in time for the burgers, we'll go get traditional all-American pizzas," Daniel finished.

Jillian was looking at him with unconcealed warmth.

"We got the concrete poured for the driveway and the garage pad," he said, "So at least everyone isn't parked on the street."

"That was already scheduled," Jillian said, "as soon as the building permit came through."

Daniel let out a long sudden breath that oozed irritation. "It might be a long time before we have the actual garage. I'd rather negotiate a cease fire in a Hundred Years War than tackle the city building codes again."

"I take it you weren't looking for the burgers so we can start cooking then?" Jillian asked.

"No, I came to find Sam actually," he said. He looked hopefully at his team mate. "I was hoping you'd come out and help me get Sarah talking to your dad, before too many people show up who don't have clearance."

"And you're hoping I'll go get Rusty's boys and show them the video game collection and the big scream TV downstairs?" Jillian guessed.

"And bring Diane and Liz inside for a little while?" Daniel said, pleadingly, referring to Rusty's and Mal's wives, respectively.

"Done," Jillian said. "We can take the chips and dips and snacks out."

"And then lure them back inside with a promise of helping you look for a wedding dress," Janet put in quickly.

Daniel grinned again. Jillian sighed with good natured defeat.

"Just don't let me see," Daniel said, shaking his head back and forth in slow warning.

"Don't be so superstitious," Jillian said, teasing.

"Nothing is going to screw up this wedding, Jill," he said, "_Nothing_. Okay?"

Her smile was indulgent again.

"Okay," she said.

(0)

"You were injured in an explosion?" Sarah directed the question to Errik.

They were standing at nearly the edge of Daniel's property, near a fire ring and set of picnic tables, well aware of how far they were from everyone else.

Errik was a handsome young man, who shared flaxen hair and high cheek bones with his sister. He looked her in the eye. His own were a kind of midnight blue, like the ocean at night. When he spoke it started in the tone of someone giving a report, by rote, with suppressed emotion that eventually got the best of him.

"We had planted explosives on Morrigan's ha'tak and made our escape in a death glider. We were well clear of the actual shockwaves when the explosion happened but there was another death glider pursuing up. The wave sent it hurtling into us. I had just enough time to get Illias and Anouk into an escape pod before the ship came apart. Illias," he paused and swallowed hard, looked away for a moment, "he…he had gotten a message out but we were a long time in the pod before Jacob and Selmac found us. Anouk couldn't …. couldn't save both of them and Illias …. I think he just gave up so that Anouk ….so that he…._she_…. would survive."

Errik stopped speaking. Freya put her hand on her brother's arm.

"Illias did the right thing, under the circumstances," she said.

Errik's smile was tight and bitter.

"We know," he said. "We just… miss him."

Sam spoke, softly, "Sometimes even a hundred years isn't enough time."

Errik looked at her. "You were host to Jolinar," he remembered.

"Yes," Sam answered, "Even after she was gone… Martouf's death, and then Lantash…."

Her voice trailed off sadly and she continued to share a long look with Errik.

"It's one of the reasons we're determined not to lose Anouk," he said, finally.

"Anouk is a …she?"

Jacob gave Sam a 'proud parent' look.

"You caught that huh?" he said, "Yes, as far as we know Anouk is changing into a queen, one of the first the Tok'ra have had in centuries. It could mean there's hope for our survival as a species."

"Nature finds a way huh?" Daniel commented.

Sam looked at him and rolled her eyes. "What?" he asked, " Anyone who ever saw Jurassic Park knows that."

"What's Jurassic Park?" Freya asked.

"It's a ..a book actually," Daniel said, thinking that explaining a book was easier than explaining a movie, "It involved an attempt to control a population by making all its members a single gender. In the story some of the individuals became male in response to an all-female society."

"This is based on science?" Freya asked; then she rolled her eyes slightly, "Anise wants to know."

"There are certain amphibious species on earth that do this," Sam said, "So yes it was based on actual science."

Sarah was looking back and forth from one to the other.

"Jacob," she said, slowly, "I'm not sure if this is something I can even ask…"

Jacob shrugged. "Ask."

Sarah glanced at Daniel for support and got it in the form of his steady gaze and calm expression.

"You just said 'our' survival. Do you consider yourself Tok'ra now?"

"I am Tok'ra," Jacob said, "Yes."

Sarah looked hesitant and uncertain.

"I guess I'm just not convinced that you all really have… have…" Her voice trailed off and she looked helplessly at Daniel.

"Dad," Sam said, "Maybe it would help if Sarah could talk to Selmac or Anise, or …. Or… I'm sorry, I don't know Errik's symbiote's name."

"Gorshen," Errik supplied. He sighed. "I wouldn't mind letting him take over for a while, if it's all right. But I know there are people here that don't know about the Star Gate."

"They're all being distracted so that we could have this little talk," Daniel said.

Jacob looked at Sam for a moment, a question on his face. He nearly always closed his eyes, in the manner of the Tok'ra, before letting Selmac take over, to hide the sudden flash of gold eyes that could be disconcerting to humans. Sam smiled a little bit and nodded.

He did lower his head but the sudden flare was still obvious. It was echoed in an instant by Freya and Errik.

Sarah turned visibly paler and took a step back. Daniel's arm came up behind her, his hand under her elbow. Sam took a step closer to her.

"Hello, Sarah," Selmac said in the deeper resonant tone that clearly wasn't Jacob. He gestured towards his companions. "This is Gorshen, one our best undercover operatives" 'Errik' bowed slightly from the shoulders up, "and Anise, one of our best scientists."

Anise, ever blunt and to the point, said, "I'd be interested to know more about these species on Earth that can change genders. There may be a chemical reaction occurring that could help the Tok'ra create another queen."

"We'll still need hosts," Gorshen said. "Those have been harder to find than new symbiotes, Anise." He stopped long enough to nod his head at the humans, "It is a pleasure to meet all of you. We've all heard the exploits of SG1 and their success against the Goa'uld, and of course, you brought us Jacob and saved Selmac's life, for which we are all grateful."

Sarah turned to Daniel, "Success against the Goa'uld?"

"We've taken out our fair share," Daniel said, mildly.

"Don't be modest," Gorshen said, "Ra, Apophis, Klorel, Seth, Hathor, Heru'ur, Sokar…"

"Oh now you helped with that last one," Daniel interrupted.

"Osiris," Sarah said quietly.

Daniel's dropped his hand to her hip and gave her a hug.

"That one too," he acknowledged.

Their conversation was interrupted by Jack yelling from the patio under the stairs,

"Daniel! Your grill is ready! You want to start cooking before you starve us all to death? Oh, and Jillian said to tell you Scotty and Annie are here."

Daniel paused to give them an apologetic look. His arm fell away from Sarah.

"If you'll all excuse me," he said, "I need to get up there before Jack takes over and burns everything, unless you all want your burgers extra crispy."

"And that won't happen with you at the grill?" Sam asked, staring at him incredulous, "Daniel, you used to burn MREs! As I recall you even burned yourself heating MREs."

"Well someone should have told me to add the water LAST," he retorted, but not without humor. "Some friend you turned out to be."

Daniel turned to Sarah. His chin dropped but he kept his stare on her, over the top of his glasses. His head tipped in question and the corners of his mouth lifted in that faint smile.

He was so different now, so unlike the distracted young man she had known, who had somehow always seemed perplexed by the world outside his own head. She should have been willing to take him as he was all those years ago - obsessive at times, neglectful, intense, difficult, absent-minded, passionate, opinionated, stubborn, caring in his own way, fragile and strong all at once, a brilliant genius with no place in the world of ordinary human beings. Driven by her own ego, she'd found it impossible to stand in the shadow of all that.

This Daniel, the one fixing her with a stare the color of glacier ice, seemed to be all that still, only amped up, multiplied exponentially off the charts. He was giving her his undivided attention. The total concentration made her a little nervous and a little comforted both at the same time. She knew that he'd see right through her if she tried to lie to him.

She said, "I'd like to stay and continue talking, if that's all right. I'm fine."

Daniel eyes slid sideways at Sam, who nodded, "I'll stay. I don't get to visit with Dad and Selmac enough as it is."

Daniel's smile came out in full force then, crinkling his eyes, making him brilliant for the brief moment in which the smile existed.


	80. Chapter 80

**I decided Daniel and Jillian need an interlude before wrapping up Sarah's story.**

Jillian looked at Daniel's reflection in the mirror as she brushed her hair. He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of dark blue plaid boxers and his glasses. The bed was a queen that always looked half its size when he sprawled on it, even when he was sitting up. His legs were folded and he has his laptop propped open, balanced on his knees. He was reading the way he always did, with his eyes scanning quickly down the center of the screen, not really traveling all the way from side to side like most people.

But there really wasn't anything about Daniel that was like most people.

"Are you working?" she asked, suddenly suspicious.

Daniel looked up with guilt written all over his face.

"No," he said, without any conviction, "I'm just reading."

"My file from 657?" she guessed.

"Umm, yes."

"How is that not working?"

"I'm not translating, just reading what you already did."

"And not making any conclusions?" she challenged.

"I can't help that!" he protested.

She smiled at him and changed the subject.

"Did you have fun today?"

"Yes."

"Even the birthday cake?"

"I should have known you were going to do that."

"How often do I get all your friends and coworkers together four days before your birthday?"

"Do I still have to wait for my present?" he asked; then looked up to let his eyes roam over her. She was wearing a pale gray-green satin nightgown with spaghetti straps that began just over the shadow between her breasts and ended at the top of her long, lovely legs. She didn't miss the way his eyes traveled over it before reaching her face. "Or are you wearing it?"

He was delighted by the blush of color that rose up over her creamy skin. But she gave him a saucy grin and a toss of her head that were full of promise.

"No, you'll have to wait," she said,

Daniel closed the laptop and set it aside. She had been right about the effect of reading this section of text from 657. He had determined that it was a series of love letters – from two people who had been separated for a long time and loved each other dearly.

"You're sure you don't mind, about Sarah, really?" Daniel asked, suddenly.

Jillian looked at him in the mirror again. His eyebrows were high on his forehead, his eyes bright. He looked much too young just for that moment.

"How many times are you going to ask me that?" she asked.

"My former girlfriend is spending the night in our guest room. I want to make sure you don't mind."

"Daniel, I was standing right next to you when you asked her. I offered her something to sleep in and a change of clothes for the morning. You heard me."

"Well maybe you were just being polite," he said.

"And you wouldn't have heard something in my voice that gave that away? You can play Beethoven's Opus one-o-six by ear but you couldn't tell if I was just being polite when I was standing right beside you?"

"Okay," he acquiesced, "I guess so. It's still awfully sweet of you."

Jillian studied him in the mirror as she finished brushing out her hair.

"She needs to reclaim the guest room the way we needed to reclaim the house, just be in it for a while, as herself," she said. "And she needed to get out from under ground for a while. You may have filled that room with a bunch of scary masks but it's still nicer than a concrete box with air force jet posters."

His eyes flew open, startled by her perception. She had been amazing, from the moment she had returned from the negotiations on Liaro and discovered Sarah was safe.

And she gave all her passion and vulnerability and generosity to him, without hesitation or question. She trusted him to spend hours with a former lover if that was what needed to be done.

Of course, he and Sarah had never actually been lovers; mostly because he had been really that clueless in those days, and because he had been a gentleman in those days and he still was. It had taken him three months before making love to Jillian for the first time and he had been pretty certain of her, even then.

If he told her that he and Sarah had never been lovers it might sound like he was worried about what Jillian thought – and he actually wasn't, because she really didn't seem to care.

He felt a rush of love and desire and his mind flooded with a rush of Jillian-centric memories, the ones he kept close to his heart and let out in his dreams during the long night spent away from her. He got lost for a moment in all the emotions that had made up the nameless, aching, yearning he had felt on Vis Uban.

She turned and leaned back against her dresser, folded her arms. He looked into the dark green wildwood of her eyes, framed by the thick fringe of lashes. Light gleamed on the ivory curves of her arms, the roundness of her shoulders. The silky fabric she was wearing hinted at the hourglass curves beneath it.

"You're right about that," he murmured, "I'm sorry if I've been bugging you. I may not have been paying attention when I asked Sarah to stay the night. I had just been eating strawberries and all I could think of was kissing you – _really_ kissing you."

A slow sultry smile appeared on her face.

"In front of all our guests, right at the table?" she asked.

"Could have been shocking," he said, in that rich low tenor, "I look at you, straight at your delicious mouth, and then lean in a little and stop just shy of touching, make everyone wonder if we're really going to kiss or not, then a brush of lips, a hint of tongue and then our eyes would close and our lips would part and we could breathe on each other a bit, tease each other's lips, maybe nip a little and then meet open mouthed, soft and full and warm and wet, but no tongue right away, not for several very long, very sweet seconds anyway, making them wait for it, see if we go any further . Then we get serious – no one else in the room but you and me serious, making the earth move serious. Mouths open, tongues sliding and chasing, jaws working, my hands in your hair, your arms around my neck, hungry like we've been starving for each other, ravenous, insatiable, as if we'll never get enough, deep, penetrating, bring new meaning to the words 'oral sex', sinking into each other," he paused and rolled his hypnotic voice into lilting Italian, "_Ti amo follemente, ti amo con tutto il cuore, ti amerò per sempre, tu sei il mio sole di giorno e le mie stelle di notte, voglio essere tra le tue braccia, voglio che le mie labbra sulle tue, voglio tenere si chiude e sentire il tuo cuore battere con il mio."_

Daniel stopped, a little out of breath, so used to being cut off when he really got going that the freedom and open air had shocked him a little. He realized that Jillian's eyes had dilated to pools of black, out of focus, and she was breathing in a slow, deliberate manner. She licked her bottom lip for a moment and then lifted her eyes to meet his. A deep flush had risen up over her creamy skin from the swell of her breasts above the low neck of her nightgown, into her throat and past her cheeks.

"_Il mio dio_, Daniel," she murmured.

He got out of bed and crossed the distance between them in two long strides. He caught her in his arms and brought his mouth down on hers; bringing to life the scene he had just painted with his voice. Jillian's arms went around him. Her hands clutched his shoulder blades. She ran her palms over the bone and muscle and soft, smooth skin of his back, traced her fingernails down the sensuous column of his spine and made helpless noises against his mouth.

He ground a suddenly insistent erection against her hip.

"Yes," he begged, "Please say yes."

"Yes, yes, yes," she said, her breath coming in short deep gasps.

"We'll have to be quiet," he whispered, nipping at her lower lip.

She nodded, helplessly, catching the elastic waistband of his boxers and pulled them forward and then pulled them down, until he could step out of them and kick them out of the way. Daniel moaned at the exposure and pressed harder against her satin covered body, rubbing a little.

He traced a single finger over her hip, down the join of her hip and leg until he found drenched satin. He leaned back to look into her eyes.

"Just from my voice?" he asked, a little startled.

She smiled a little, brushed her lips on his. "Why do you think I avoid all the lectures they make you give the newbies?"

"Because they're boring?" he guessed.

"Because I couldn't listen to you recite the alphabet and not want you desperately." She leaned up to kiss the pulse at the base of his throat, licking a little.

"You have a thing for my voice and I'm just finding out about this now?" he asked.

"Try to keep up, Jackson," she purred, softly.

"What else have you been keeping from me?" he asked.

When his only answer was a low, throaty laugh he took a step back and looked into her eyes. His eyebrows went up almost off his forehead.

"I can't show you now," she said.

"But you will later?"

"Uh-huh."

"Do you want me to keep talking?"

"Not now."

Her hand on the back of his head was insistent, pulling him down until she was lost in his kiss again and he kissed as if that was all he wanted to do for the rest of their lives. It was all the hot sweetness he had promised, a gentle probing, a slowly shifting caress of his tongue on hers.

A throbbing tingle worked its heated way through her body. She moaned into his mouth just as he pulled away and then she gasped in protest.

Daniel didn't answer in words. He bent her over the dresser and moved his mouth down her throat and along her shoulder. His fingers moved up to slide silky fabric in a whisper against her breast. His other hand coaxed her to step out of the thin strip of her panties.

Jillian bunched up handfuls of her nightgown to pull it off over her head. But he caught her wrist, pressed hard against her.

"Leave it on," he said.

"You have a thing for silk now?"

"I do tonight. It feels amazing."

Jillian pushed back against him but not to signal desire. He knew the body language. She wanted to get out from between him and dresser. He stepped back to let her go, giving her space, staying close enough to still feel the heat of her body and the rise and fall of her breathing.

She took him by the wrist and led him to the bed. She crawled in ahead of him and lay back with her head on a pillow, wanton and willing but not submissive. The nightgown slid up nearly to her hip, bunched at her waist. Her body – the intimate parts, the places she only gave to him - was still mostly still hidden, but he could draw her from memory. He crawled in after her, hovered over her for a moment, holding his body away from hers in a suspended push- up that corded the muscles in his back and arms. She trailed her fingers over them appreciatively, purring in her throat as he kissed her again.

His glasses were sliding down his nose and he reached up to pull them off and toss them in the general direction of the nightstand. He started to lie down next to her but she stopped him, pulling him down on top of her instead. He let almost all his weight settle on her, nudging her legs apart to rest one knee between them. The mattress shifted under their combined weight.

Jillian sighed in way that was contentment with a shivery thread of desire and wriggled under him even further. It implied domination on his part, covering her with his hard male body; and submission on hers. She pressed up into his arms and reveled in the wonderful shock of flesh on flesh, the delicious promise of his erection caught between them, parted only by thin silk. She could feel all his hard muscle under her hands, the intense masculinity; his gentle, compassionate soul encased in this incredible body.

He kissed her again, his lips formed her name. His hand moved between them to her breast again and she was suddenly blinded by desire so intense she couldn't think.

"Do you need more?" he asked.

Jillian shook her head. "Not tonight," she answered, sliding further under him, "I just want you."

Daniel's sigh was almost relief. His long fingers brushed down the side of her face in a gesture of aching tenderness before he kissed her again.

"Good," he murmured, "because I want you so much I hardly _see."_

She thought about teasing him that without his glasses he could hardly ever see but then he was urging her legs further apart and settling between them. He sank into her and took them both into an intimate space that was all love and all pleasure. He rocked into her, deep, fast, like being on the ocean, moved in swells of arousal.

"Daniel, Daniel…. I ….oh god baby, I'm….."

"No you're not," Daniel said, in his soft low voice, sexy and soothing and implacable, "Not yet."

He slowed down, still deep, still constant but not as quick. He knew the inside of her now, knew the places and the positions. Jillian's hips rose up to meet him. She had no control over it.

"Tell me what you want," his voice, rich and low and she wanted to growl at him about his misuse of the new power he now had over her.

"You," she answered.

His muscled thighs pushed her further open.

"Me?" he whispered it along with a husky hint of surprised laughter, lowering more weight onto her, blanketing her, surrounding her. He moved beautifully, masterfully, "Okay. This is me," shift, thrust, moving on her, an impossible feeling of length and hardness, "This is what you want."

His thrusts got deeper and he shortened the interval between them, never pulling out now, just pushing down firmly from where he was.

"Daniel!" She cried out as it began, "_oh god baby_…" Then her climax as expanding and contracting from the core of her and her body was clenching on the mattress and all around him. Daniel pushed into her with all the weight and strength of his powerful body and Jillian felt the world imploding.

She groaned when she felt his movements change, jerking suddenly hard and fast.

"Jill?" he gasped.

"Go on," she moved to give him even better access. "Oh yeah, baby, go on."

He buried his face between her neck and shoulders, his back arched. She could feel the spasms that wracked his body, heard him gasping and groaning – robbed at last of words. She felt it as an explosion, something with ballistic force quaking inside her.

She ran her hand down his sweat-sheened back. He stayed where he was, panting, for a long time, the whole weight of his head on her shoulder, the weight of his body getting heavier, growing softer inside her.

"Oh my god," he sighed, finally moving to melt into the mattress beside her.

Jillian was nearly unconscious, too limp to move closer to him.

Daniel was close enough to murmur into her ear, one last statement in his low, easy voice before sleep overcame them both,

"I love you."

"Mmmm," she murmured back.

(0)

Daniel's speech: I love you madly, I love you with all my heart, I will love you forever, you are my sun by day and my stars at night, I want to be in your arms, I want my lips on yours, I want to hold you close and feel your heart beating with mine.


	81. Chapter 81

Jillian watched Daniel carefully as he stared at Sarah He looked certain that the stress had caused her to lose her mind. His expression was deliberately neutral as he slipped into 'peaceful negotiator' mode.

"You can't be serious," he said.

His voice was so flat, so carefully controlled it made the hair stand up on the back of Jillian's neck.

They were in the VIP quarters that Sarah had been assigned – the concrete box with the air force jet posters that Jillian had described so dismissively only a few nights before. There were only four people in the room – Daniel and Jillian, Sarah and Jacob, who was currently Selmac.

And Sarah had just told him she intended to leave with the Tok'ra and accept Anouk as a symbiote.

"It makes perfect sense, Daniel," Sarah said. Her tone was reasonable. Her eyes were pleading. "The Goa'uld already accept me as Osiris. It's a perfect chance to infiltrate Anubis' stronghold and pass information."

"When did you start using the word 'infiltrate'?" Daniel demanded. "Are you listening to yourself?"

"What am I supposed to do, Daniel?" Sarah's normally gentle tone was laced with exasperation, "Go back to Egyptology? Teach something I know isn't true? Sit on my hands behind a desk knowing there's a deadly threat to Earth out there and I could be doing something to stop it? Could you do that?"

"Don't you remember what it was like living as Osiris?" he demanded. "What you had to see? What you had to do?"

"Yes! That's exactly why I have to go back. Anubis has to be stopped, Daniel."

"So you want to atone for everything Osiris did by putting yourself in harm's way again," Daniel guessed. "I thought you had accepted that nothing Osiris did was your fault?"

"I have!" She said, "and that isn't what this is about."

Daniel held her eyes for a long time and then looked helplessly at Jillian.

"Jillian, help me out here," he begged.

"I can't, _Bǎobèi_," she said, sadly.

"What?" Daniel's expression turned shocked.

"I agree with her," Jillian informed him, "You risked everything not so long ago to achieve the same goal – the destruction of Anubis. We can't afford to turn down any possible chance to do that and we're all in this together."

"What?" He repeated.

"Do you remember what Jonas said? About his world being too small for him now?"

"I do, but even he hasn't run off to join the Tok'ra in response to that!"

"He was never presented with the opportunity," Jillian pointed out.

"You make it sound like I'm going to join the circus, Daniel," Sarah said.

"That would make more sense to me."

"This makes perfect sense to you," Jillian challenged him, "You just don't want to admit that it does."

Daniel looked at Jillian over the top of his glasses. She watched the obstinacy rise in him. She saw it in the slight lift of his chin, the tension through his shoulders, the sudden hard set of his mouth and furrowing of his eyebrows.

"How does this make sense?" he demanded, "Sarah has no military training, no experience."

"Neither did I, when I started as part of SG8," Jillian said, then pointedly, "and neither did _you_. But I think you know well enough what would happen if you ever tried to keep me from going through the Gate."

"You're not talking about some risky undercover operation with one of the most dangerous Goa'uld we've ever encountered," Daniel protested.

"Two words, Daniel," Jillian countered "Summit, Jarren….."

"Sarah has exactly the experience we need," Selmac spoke up, "and the rest she'll get from Anouk. As a combination they will be unlike any other operatives we have in the field."

Jillian made the mistake of looking at some point between herself and the floor. When she looked back up, Daniel was staring at her, hard. She had figured it out hours ago when Sarah and Selmac had first told her. She watched now as Daniel – _god help them_ - put it all together. His gaze focused somewhere inside his glasses, his mouth tightened further even as his eyes sparked bright with sudden awareness.

She watched his expression change from confused disapproval to his own brand of frigid anger.

The look he gave Selmac should have frozen him on the spot.

"This is what you wanted all along," he said. His voice was taut with frustration and the ice cold chill of something he was barely keeping in check, "This is why you brought Errik. You wanted him to meet Sarah and tell his story in the hopes that this is exactly the choice she would make."

Selmac's eyes closed and he let Jacob take over. Jillian watched Daniel's eyes frost-over a little more and was pretty sure that particular gambit wasn't going to work.

"I won't lie to you, Daniel," Jacob said, "That's just what we were hoping. Sarah has a great deal of information that we need. Even if she never agreed to a blending we hoped she would come and work with us. The situation with Anouk just presented us with a rare and valuable opportunity."

A muscle was twitching in Daniel's cheek. His frank, accusatory frown deepened the lines between his brows. Jacob opened his mouth to speak but Jillian raised her hand in his direction and urgently shook her head. Talking to Daniel right now, when he was standing on that kind of aggressive edge was just not a good idea.

"You know, Jacob," Daniel said, and every word was ice coated, "it's going to be very difficult for me to defend the Tok'ra the next time Jack makes one of his snarky remarks about your motives."

Sarah broke the moment if not the tension.

"They didn't coerce me or offer me anything. I came to this choice on my own Daniel, after I spent some time with Errik and heard all the Tok'ra have been doing."

"They set you up," Daniel said.

"They offered me a chance to do something, to make something good come of the hell I've been living," she countered, "and I accepted it."

"So you're going back to the life you had as Osiris, alone…"

"Not alone," Jacob interrupted, "Errik is going back with her, as Osiris' lotar."

"He's blended," Daniel protested, "They'll know."

Jacob shook his head. "We're going to use the drug the Goa'uld was using on Kiana. It will mask the presence of the symbiote and no one will question it if she keeps him close."

"So you've got this all figured out," Daniel's tone was glacial.

Jillian shivered a little. He scared the hell out of her when he was like this.

Sarah was still holding Daniel's icy gaze with a hot, determined one of her own. In a tone that said she was reciting from memory she replied,

"_Lady of tremblings, high-walled, the sovereign lady, the lady of destruction, who uttereth the words which drive back the destroyers, Lady of heaven, Mistress of the Two Lands, devourer by fire, Lady of mortals, who art infinitely greater than any human being_."

"Damn it, Sarah," Daniel growled.

"It's my life, Daniel, my choice and I don't need your approval because you've got bugger all to say about it." Her voice rose at the end. Her polished British accent became a little more guttural.

Daniel glared at her for a moment longer – a look that was calculating and uncertain and chilled beyond reason. He looked briefly at the floor, made a low, disgusted noise in his throat and walked out of the room. He didn't slam the door but it clicked shut decisively with his help.

There was a brief, comfortable silence before Sarah said to Jacob,

"Are we still leaving in a few hours?"

"Unless you need more time, changed your mind about contacting family?"

"No it's better this way. There isn't any cover story that's been presented to me that they'll even remotely believe. I should just stay missing."

"All right," Jacob said, "I'll go collect Freya and Errik. Jillian, it was good to see you again. I hope Daniel doesn't…. Well, I just hope he's okay."

"Me too," Jillian said.

Jacob left with a gentler click of the door.

"Is he ever going to forgive me?" Sarah asked.

"Daniel?" Jillian asked, "He's not angry with you. Daniel has a unique ability to see everyone's truth, all at the same time, even if he concludes that his own is the 'best' truth when all is said and done."

"Is he going to forgive you for taking my side?" Sarah asked, "It was never my intent to cause trouble for the two of you."

"Don't worry about us. We'll be fine."

"You're sure?"

Jillian could see that this was clearly bothering Sarah.

"Daniel doesn't expect me to always agree with him; and he's not above having his own ideas challenged. He'd be disappointed in me if I started keeping my opinion to myself just because it's contrary to his. Truthfully I'd be disappointed in myself and that's not the relationship I want with him. Don't worry about it, Sarah. You have enough to do right now. Daniel and I are fine."

Sarah appeared to consider that carefully.

"Does he still call that 'intellectual exchanges'?" She asked.

Jillian smiled softly.

"Yes, though Jack calls it 'arguing just to be a pain the ass'." She paused and sighed a little, "I am more worried this might be the thing that pushes the Tok'ra over Daniel's line in the sand."

"His what?"

Jillian walked across the room and sat down in one of the utilitarian brown leather chairs. She realized she was shaking.

"Maybe you never saw it, Sarah. In the context of what he was doing when the two of you were together, it probably never had a chance or even a reason to manifest. I hesitate to call it a dark side. It's more of an intolerant side, a…. a hardness of his spirit that's been forged by his experiences the last few years, " she hesitated, ordering her thoughts and wondering how much she should even share with Sarah about this. The only other person she'd ever talked to about it had been Sam and, terrifyingly, Sam had agreed with her. She went on,

"Daniel has a very small circle of people he allows himself to care for, and care deeply; deeply enough to risk his heart being broken if something happens to them. I think the rest of the galaxy exists as nothing more than something abstract to him, something too far out of his realm to let in. Its existence is important to him on a moral level, for the sake of what is _right_ he'll do just about anything. But what he really fights for are the people he loves. Endanger one of those people and he is done with you. Daniel can't bear for anything to happen to any of us in that small circle and it's getting worse. He's perfectly capable of killing in cold blood under those circumstances and not giving it another moment's thought afterwards. I remember when the program started and I would see him on the firing range. He'd always close his eyes in that last moment when he pulled the trigger. It never affected his aim, but somehow in the last few years he's stopped doing it."

Jillian paused. She had unconsciously adapted the same level, unemotional 'report voice' she'd heard all the military personnel on the Base use at one time or another. But it was harder to admit to this part of Daniel's being than she would have thought. She finished quietly,

"The Tok'ra didn't start out on the right foot with Daniel by taking Sam as an unwilling host and endangering her life. I think he was willing to give them a chance mostly because we need allies against the Goa'uld and Sam forgave them. But they recently did something to Jack that pushed them a little closer to Daniel's line. This won't help, and once that line is crossed, Daniel just doesn't give a damn anymore."

"Do you think it would help if I talked to him again?" Sarah asked.

"No," Jillian said, "He's gone off somewhere to be alone and deal with it. He knows you're right. He knows it's a perfect opportunity to get valuable Intel on Anubis. He just doesn't like that it's _you_ going to do it. He's been pretty …happy since your rescue. He doesn't like you going back into danger."

Sarah smiled a little sadly. "I'm not in that circle you were talking about, Jillian."

"Yes, you are," Jillian said," even if you don't believe that, Daniel has nothing but sympathy and concern for innocents who get caught up in evil through no choice of their own. Up until now, you've fallen squarely into that category."

"But now it is my choice," Sarah surmised, "so he'll have a harder time sympathizing if something goes wrong."

"Sarah, if something goes wrong and he knows about it, he'll be the first person wanting to charge in and set it right. Your intentions are good. He'll give you points for that."

Sarah paced back and forth a bit, eyes on the floor.

"I'm not even sure why it matters so much to me, his opinion. He vanished without a word to me. I hadn't seen him in years."

Jillian lifted a shoulder and shrugged lightly. "He's Daniel. He has a way of getting under people's skin and staying there."

Sarah pondered that for a moment. "I suppose he was like that, even all those years ago. I never stopped looking for him, not to renew anything but just because I was worried about him. Are you sure I shouldn't go talk to him?"

"No, I am positive that won't be a good idea. He needs time in his own head with this," Jillian stood up, "Besides you said you wanted to talk to Sam again before you left. Why don't you go find her? She's probably in the lab. I'll go track down my fiancé and see if he's ready to talk, though I doubt it."

The two women hugged, briefly but sincerely.

"I think what you're doing is amazing, Sarah," Jillian said, "I'm not sure I could do it."

"I won't tell you that I'm looking forward to it, but I've never wanted to do anything so much in my life," she answered.

"Just be safe out there, Sarah," Jillian said.

"I will," Sarah promised.

(0)

Jillian's search for Daniel had been long, slightly frantic and fruitless. She had done everything but individually search storage closets before seeking Sam's help.

Sam, genius that she was, didn't bother running around the Base. She hacked the security feeds. After a few moments of zeroing in on the least likely places he could be Sam said, triumphantly,

"Got him. He's in the Colonel's office, with Jack."

"Jack has an office?"

"How long have you worked here?"

"How long has he had an office?"

"As long as you've worked here."

"Are you kidding?"

"Nope, he just hardly ever goes there."

Jillian shook her head in a mystified way and then turned her attention to the grainy black-and-white image on the screen. Daniel was talking – in an attempt to break the land speed record from the look of it - and wearing the stubborn-as-a-mule, mad-as-hell expression she recognized all too well.

"He looks …. frustrated," she said.

"He's talking, Jack's listening. I'd say he's fine." Sam answered.

"Unless they're plotting the overthrow of the Earth-Tok'ra Alliance of 1998," Jillian said, drily.

Sam's eyes widened, "You think they could do that?"

"I think if Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson want to do something the rest of us should just get out of the way," she answered.

Sam snorted and acquiesced by way of silence.

Jillian sat back in the chair Sam had wrangled for her and looked at her friend.

"Should I leave him there?"

"I would," Sam answered, "Come on. We can go help Sarah get ready."

Jillian cast one more look at the image of Daniel, still emoting, on the screen, sighed, got up and followed Sam out the door.

(0)

**A/N **Sarah quotes the Egyptian Book of the Dead, writings from the Temple of Osiris. This will wrap up Sarah's story arc, though if I think of anything else, I'll tag it at the end of this chapter.


	82. Chapter 82

Jillian stepped through the Gate, heard the snap of it closing behind her and stopped moving completely. The sound had never made her feel trapped before and it shouldn't now. There was a perfectly good, functional DHD right at the base of the stone steps. Daniel had jogged down the steps of the platform without realizing she wasn't beside him anymore. He paused, as if he knew something was wrong but wasn't sure what it was.

He stood, feet braced and turned from the waist up to lift his eyebrows and gaze at her from behind the shadow of his sunglasses.

"Jill? Everything all right?"

He didn't ask lightly. It was the first time Jillian had returned to 657 since the accident. He was a little alarmed that she hadn't managed to even walk off the Gate platform. He hadn't realized how much he counted on being able to read her emotions in her eyes, but he couldn't see them behind her sunglasses.

"I'm not sure," she answered.

"Janet said this might happen, that the scents and sounds, change in the air, the altitude, anything might trigger the memory," he waited but when she didn't answer he said, "I'll dial Earth and take you home, if that's what you need, right now, just say the word."

He meant it. She could tell by the thread of certainty stringing together his words. She shook her head.

"Yeah," she said, drily, "Hammond will love that electric bill. Let's walk through the Gate and turn around and go right back because I'm having a panic attack."

Daniel lowered his chin so he could look at her over the top of his glasses.

"Is that what's happening? Are you having a panic attack?"

Jillian took a deep breath and sought an honest answer.

"I don't know. I don't think it's going to get that bad."

"Is it something in particular?"

He watched as her head turned towards the pit, visible in the distance as a dark slash in the sand still surrounded by bright orange emergency tape.

"I still don't remember any of it," she said, "I just know this is where it happened."

"You can keep working on the translations at home. I'll take you back. I'll even pay the electric bill. Do you think Hammond will take VISA?"

A smile tugged at her mouth for a moment but she didn't appear to be looking at him. Her head was still moving back and forth as she scanned the work site.

"Jill?" He waited until she was looking at him again and held out his hand, "I'm right here."

"I know you are," she answered, "I'm counting on it, in fact."

Jillian hesitated only a moment longer. As hard as it was to be back here, she knew the pressure that was being put on this particular endeavor. She walked towards Daniel finally and gave him her hand, hoping he couldn't tell that she was shaking. She stepped closer and slipped her arms around his waist, holding tight. His returned embrace was strong and steady.

If she was going to fall apart, at least it would be in his arms.

(0)

Daniel walked into the tent with his eyes and all of his attention focused squarely on the notes attached to his clipboard. He ducked under the tent flap from memory, came back to his full height and avoided the overhead support beam in one smooth motion.

"Jill, I think we've figured out what those cryptic words and number combinations at the bottom of all the love letters are, well Scotty figured out what they probably are…..

He stopped talking abruptly when he looked up to find her sitting in the middle of their air mattress with her eyes full of tears. She had papers and floppy discs and her laptop strewn across the pale blue blanket she dragged to every dig site and she was crying, and had been for a while it seemed. He froze, afraid to move until he knew what was happening.

"Jillian, what's wrong?" He handled the phrase as if he was afraid the words would make her break.

She looked up, pulled off her reading glasses and wiped the back of her across her eyes. Then she paused to inhale a trembling breath and said,

"I'm fine, really . It's just these letters are so sad and I figured out why they've been apart for so long but listen: _Comfort me. Save me from this living nightmare. Save me from these endless tears. Wrap me in your arms and make the pain go away. Hold me tight. Bring me back to myself. I want to feel joy again. Laugh with me if only in my memories. But most of all return to me."_

While she was speaking he had moved cautiously to sit down beside her, pushing some papers out of the way in the process. When she was done he lifted one hand and brushed his thumb across her cheekbone, his fingers lightly pressing behind her ear.

"You're sure that's all? Just the letters?"

The looked she returned him was filled with sadness and bewilderment. How could she possibly ever convey to him what her life had been like during the time he had been Ascended; or how clearly these letters were putting all of into words again, as if she were reliving it over again in slow motion as she wrote out each sorrow-filled word.

Typically of Daniel, and evidence of the depth of their relationship, he put it together in less time than it took her to inhale and then exhale, once.

"_Tears from the depth of some divine despair, rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes_,," he quoted and then said, "They remind you of when I was gone."

"Yes," she admitted.

"Then you don't have to do this. Let me take you home."

"No! This is what I do, Daniel: Language, literature and culture. Besides, it also reminds me that I am so blessed to have you back and I shouldn't ever take that for granted."

Jillian took a deep breath and changed the subject. "When you came in you said you figured out the text across the bottom?"

Sensing that she wanted to work, and still excited about the discovery, Daniel nodded.

"Well Scotty did, really He's been working on the text I translated that seemed to be their understanding of astronomy and he deciphered their calendar and method of time keeping," Daniel hesitated and then gave credit where it was due, "He really is the astronomy genius you told me he is."

"Yeah, he's amazing," Jillian agreed, "What did he find out?"

"He tried to explain it to me. He was using the words retrograde and perigee a lot, especially retrograde, and Sam was nodding a lot. He said 'arithmetical progression' at one point and that made Sam very excited. That's always a good sign for me, when Sam nods. From what I gathered, their calendar is a fairly complex system based on the movement of the sun and the moon and two particular stars. Scotty said that the distance of these stars was determined by using this culture's version of absolute magnitude and then he and Sam talked about parsecs for a while and apparently they used the equivalent of fifteen parsecs compared to Earth's ten and Scotty said as far as he could determine the length of the years had to do with the apastron point between the two stars. Anyway, each year is named and goes in a cycle of fifty, starting with,"

Daniel paused and checked the second page of his notes, " and of course we still don't know how any of this is pronounced but the first year in the cycle looks like Benead and the last is Everad; _and_ each year is a different combination of months depending on the position of this star. Some years have as many as twenty six months, some as few as five though those months tend to have more intercalary days and fewer, well weeks, for lack of a better analogy but they aren't really weeks like we know them. This is determined, according to Scotty, by the use of solar branches and lunar stems with stellar roots. The thing here is that we know there are, umm, _were,_ five separate countries in this part of the planet and as far as Scotty can tell from the text, only four of them really adhered to this calendar.

"Scotty gave me a list of the names of the years and months and days and Sam figured out the numerical system, which she says is base twelve, though I'm not sure how that helps us or if it even makes any difference to us. What I wanted to do was go over your notes and see if any of the names Scott listed are there at the bottom of these letters. If they are, then that part of the text is the date each letter was written. It would give us a historical context for them. Scotty's working on what the current date would be and then he'll be able to tell us how long ago these were written."

Daniel ground to a halt, blinked and shook his head a little, as if he was used to throwing himself at a logical conclusion when he started talking, revving his vocal cords and starting for it full throttle only to be stopped dead in his tracks at some point by whoever was listening.

Being able to actually finish his thoughts left him a little dazed with just a hint of boyish vulnerability, almost as if he thought she might be mad at him or at very least exasperated.

He had almost forgotten that Jillian could take in information as quickly as he could give it. She was in fact looking at him with a close-mouthed smile twitching at her lips and adoration shining in the depths of her tear-washed eyes.

"Do you have the list?" she asked.

"What? Oh! Yeah." He flipped through the pages on the clipboard and then pulled one off for her and then hunted for another, "This is the list of years, months and days and…..this is the one Sam says is their numerical system though Scotty doesn't think they numbered anything on their calendar."

Jillian was flipping through her own notes until she found the latest one from Faechel - whom she had determined was the woman in the relationship. She scanned the list from Scotty quickly until she found a correlating word.

"Here, this is the year," she said.

It only took them a few more minutes to have the entire date written out. Daniel held it up and read it out loud,

"Written to you in the year of Kearva, under the moon of Otniel as the sun sets on the last day of Fieramor, with all my love and devotion, Faechel," he put it down and looked at her. "Can Scotty work with that?"

Jillian smiled. "Scotty could work with half of that."

Daniel didn't answer. He reached for her again, cupping his broad palm around the back of her head and scrunching his fingers into her hair. He pulled her forward until their foreheads touched.

"Want to come with me and listen to Sam and Scotty say stuff like 'ephemeris table' and 'geosynchronous orbit'?" he asked.

Jillian laughed softly. "Hey, wait, I actually understand that last one."

He leaned back enough to look into her eyes. "Yeah? What about 'heliopause' and 'interstellar medium'?"

"Not a clue," she admitted.

She moved away from him with a rustle of paper and stood up. She held out her hand.

"Come on. I could use a break and some air," she said.

(0)

Daniel quotes the Tennyson poem, Tears, Idle Tears.


	83. Chapter 83

It wasn't exactly a red-and-white checked table cloth, with a woven wicker basket full of grapes and fried chicken. It was in fact a scratchy desert camo blanket and a backpack of MREs. There was at least a container of slowly melting ice around a bottle of Arizona Ice Tea.

They had hiked to a low bluff to watch the sunset over the desert with a picnic dinner, at Daniel's insistence. Since she knew how much he loved deserts and sunsets, it had been hard to resist.

It was probably the most romantic setting Jillian had ever been asked to give a report in.

She twirled a group of alfredo noodles around a plastic fork and considered him carefully.

"You brought me up here to talk about Virocan and Faechel?" she asked, suspiciously.

"Kind of," he admitted, "I brought you up here because it's romantic and we can be alone and, come on, that sunset is amazing."

Daniel studied her carefully as she turned to gaze across at the horizon and the sky blazing with crimson and pink and orange. He loved the chiseled delicacy of her features and the striking combination of her body – tall, willowy feminine grace and casual strength. She had changed into a pair of tan camp shorts, a black tank top and a pair of sandals. Her toenails were painted a shimmery shade of pink.

A pang went through him that was too low and deep to immediately fathom. She looked back at him. Her eyes were the only green thing for miles.

"All we need is another sun and it would look just like Tatooine," she said.

He was looking back at her with such wistful hopefulness that she relented.

"All right," she said, "Deserts can have their charm." _Even if this one did try to kill me… and a whole bunch of other people._

Not being privy to her thoughts, his eyes lit with quiet pleasure.

Jillian leaned over and kissed the corner of his mouth, caught the faint taste of macaroni and cheese. "And so do you," she finished. "But you need to know what these letters have revealed about this culture and the state of affairs among the five nations."

"That's no surprise to you," Daniel said, "Especially now that Scotty's tracked the dates of those letters to the last recorded history we have for this place. _Something_ happened here, more than just that volcano. In fact, whatever happened here happened before the volcano, and there could still be people living elsewhere on the planet that were unaffected. We haven't found anything on the stone maps to indicate where _this_ is, or where the Star Gate is in relationship to the nations, which one was in possession of it and if they knew what it was; and most importantly we need to know what that array of machinery is."

He broke off abruptly and Jillian sensed he had been about to go on one of his verbal marathons.

"Because it might be a weapon," she surmised.

"It also might be a whole new way to deliver clean energy," Daniel pointed out.

"But it gets funded because it might be a weapon."

"Such is our existence," Daniel acknowledged.

Jillian didn't say anything else until after she finished her chicken alfredo and the two Hostess chocolate filled cupcakes he had sneaked into his pack for her.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, somewhere between apologetic and nervous, "We don't have to talk about it now if you don't want."

"But you need to know," she said with a note of question.

A smile twitched on his face. "Well I don't know. Do you think it's important?"

"Yes, and from an anthropological perspective, it's fascinating," she answered. Then she tilted her head and regarded him thoughtfully, "Can I share something else first?"

"Sure?"

"With the single exception of your little incident in Honduras, I've noticed that you've been very good at staying close to home and staying out of trouble. I wanted you to know that I noticed, and even if you aren't doing it on purpose, I appreciate it."

Daniel looked startled for a moment. Then his gaze turned once more towards the sunset.

"Well, I'm glad if it's making you happy. I think it has more to do with Jack's reluctance to put me back in the field. I'm pretty sure he doesn't trust me the way he did before. I don't think he thinks I'm ready."

Anyone else might not have caught the edge in his voice or the flicker of emotion in his eyes – the vulnerability again, the sad acceptance that he was being rejected again, an old reaction driven by an older ache, the knee-jerk reaction of crossing his arms figuratively and literally over his heart.

Jillian stared at him, blinked. Her eyes seemed huge, soft, easy enough to get lost in.

"You don't get it, do you?" she asked in loving wonder.

That made him snap his head around to look at her again. "What?" Truly, sincerely baffled, shocked that there could be something that escaped his notice, he stared.

"You're not the one who isn't ready, Bǎobèi," Jillian said softly. "It's _us_. Nǐ tīngdǒng ma?"

"Wǒ bù zhīdào," he answered, staring at in confusion.

Jillian sighed and her eyebrows knitted together as she tried to find a way to explain it to him.

"It's all the people who love you and are frightened out of our minds to let anything happen to you again. It's Jack and me and Sam and Teal'c, even Janet and General Hammond. Jack blamed himself for your death," she paused to shake her head in further amazement as his expression got even more shocked, "What? You didn't know? Daniel. Seriously. He wasn't with you. He felt he should have been, that it was up to him to keep you alive, even though you don't always make that easy for him," she held up a hand when he inhaled as if to interrupt, "I know that doesn't make sense. But – his team, his responsibility. I've heard Mal say it enough times when I wanted to go explore something and he couldn't spare anyone to go with me. Jack is dipped in the same mold. We need time to get used to the idea that … that you can be out there and take the risks again."

"I let you all down, didn't I?" He had pulled his knees up to his chest and put his arms around them in a seated version of his customary 'self-hug.'

"Don't think of it that way," she answered, "because it isn't true. Jack understands you, as much as he pretends not to. I swear, Daniel, the two of you have the most unlikely friendship. He wants to put you on a desk but he knows ….. _God_ Daniel, _god _, he knows that would kill you just as dead," she saw the way that made him wince and flinch, felt pity but forged ahead. "So Jack's not just easing you back into this. He easing _everyone_ back into it. Your little adventure on Anubis' ship and then in Honduras set us all back a bit in getting used to the idea that you aren't made of spun sugar and really don't break easily."

Daniel stared unseeing at the camo blanket for a while. _Jack_. He'd have had every reason to be angry with Daniel, even cold and distant. Considering what had happened during the time Daniel had been Ascended, Jack could have put him on a desk and no one would have questioned it. Daniel had been prepared for that in fact.

But Jack hadn't done the expected. He had brought Daniel home, put him back on the team even though he'd only been returned to them for five minutes and his memory was still like a piece of Swiss cheese, worked with him, talked to him, been open and receptive – and become _damned_ overprotective in the process.

What a monumental pain in the ass the man could be…..

Daniel sighed to himself. He could love and he did love deeply, passionately, possessively. He had never been able to make himself stop, no matter that he had tried.

He wasn't at all good at noticing that he was being loved in return.

"I don't….," he stopped and tried to start again a few times before giving up and making a helpless gesture with both hands, "I don't know what to do with this. I'm not sure what to do now."

Jillian smiled and he went blank for a moment – his mind, his words, his senses. She was breathtaking all on her own. Smiling at him like that – with love, fierce and devoted – left him shaking and he was already off his emotional balance.

"Just let us love you" she said, "That's all you have to do."

"I'll try," he said, with a dry smile.

"In the meantime, why don't you come over here and put your arms around me and let me lean back against you and I'll tell you a love story."

"What makes me think this is not a story that has a happy ending?"

"It doesn't," she said. She stopped to look down sadly at the excavations and dig sites, the campfires starting to light up the evening as the personnel gathered to celebrate the end of the work day. "This is not, generally, a very happy place, Daniel."

He cleaned up the remains of their dinner , stuck it in sealable plastic and put it in the backpack. He poured them each another plastic cup of iced tea, settled behind her, pulling her into the space between his legs so that she rested against his chest, her hips against his.

Jillian snuggled closer and watched the last of the sun dip below the horizon. The light would last for a little while longer. She took his wrists and arranged his arms so they were draped around her.

"All right," she began, "We've already determined there were five nations here. Four of them appear to have a fairly aggressive, hostile relationship with each other, with little room for even being friends with a mutual enemy."

"Yes, and the fifth is the super power of the group and was probably here with possession of the Star Gate."

"Right," she agreed, "What the letters revealed is how that peace was maintained. Each nation surrendered a hostage – someone important to the ruler of the other four nations. They were even called the Hostages of Peace. If one nation moved against another the hostage or hostages were killed."

Daniel was momentarily speechless, then, "Which one of them was the hostage?"

"Faechel," Jillian answered, sadly. "They were separated for years. I'm not sure at this point that they ever saw each other again."

"Oh my god," Daniel murmured,

"It makes sense in the context of their culture," she said, scientifically, "like Earth, where scientific advancement has far outstripped moral maturity. This was the answer they came up with and it seems like it did work for hundreds of years. By the time of Virocan and Faechel they had stopped implanting each hostage with an explosive so they wouldn't try to escape."

She drew in a long breath and hesitated.

"What?" he asked, hesitantly.

"Virocan writes of his nation continuing to develop weapons. We can only assume the other nations did too. The fifth nation probably had enough superior fire power at that point to discourage them from trying to run away."

"Then that array we found really could be the weapon the SGC is hoping it is," Daniel said.

Jillian nodded, shivered a little though Daniel thought it was probably from the evening air as it became cooler.

"So we'll be here for a while?" she guessed.

"Looks like it," he said, mildly. He tightened his arms around her. "Would that be so bad? No one is shooting at us at least."

"There is that," she said, drily, and wondered where their standards for job safety had gone.

Daniel used one hand to push her hair out of the way so that he could lean in and kissed the space behind her ear and then moved forward to the soft skin under her jaw. Jillian sighed, closed her eyes and tilted her head to give him better access. His other hand stoked down her thigh and felt the skin and muscle ripple in response.

"Let's skip the campfire sing-a-long tonight," he said, in a throaty whisper.

She turned enough to look up at him, brush her fingers along the line of his jaw.

"Just go back to the tent? Sneak in from the back so no one sees us and stops us?"

"Yeah," he said. The vulnerability in his tone made her heart ache, "I want you to remind me that you love me."

"You've forgotten?" she asked.

"No, but I can just be a little dense." He pressed his lips against the back of her head. She could feel him smiling and knew it was a little sadly. "It's not just sex I'm asking for. Nǐ tīngdǒng ma?"

"Shì de," she pressed a kiss against the base of his throat. "Meaning of life stuff?"

"Meaning of love stuff," he said, with a soft laugh. He pressed his face into her soft hair. "We could go make some?"

Night had fallen now, velvet dark with stars beginning to sparkle overhead. Insects began to compete with the sounds of singing rising up from the camp below. Desert nights were one his favorite things in the world and he tuned it all out instantly when Jillian turned in his arms, put hers around his waist, offered him her upturned face and whispered,

"Yes."

(0)

nǐ tīngdǒng ma – do you understand?

wǒ bù zhīdào – I don't know

shi de - yes


	84. Chapter 84

The body she was snuggled up with was warm and dense, sleep-softened, heavy of both solid bone and smooth muscle and deliciously naked. Rich male scent and the sound of his even breathing helped fill up all her senses. He was completely asleep.

_Daniel._

Her own body was filled with a kind of sweet, boneless tendency to inaction, sated, encased in the memory of ecstasy and the arms, solid but lax, over and around her. She remembered floating in ecstasy with him, as if it had become a substance, a liquid, fluid and buoyant as the ocean.

In spite of her resistance to the idea of moving it was a temptation to touch him – to run her fingertips down his arm and feel the soft bronze hair raise up, trace the contours of his broad, long fingered hands, to slide her hand up through the crinkly hair on his thighs to cup the sweet heavy softness of the all-male package lying against her leg. The promising weight of his balls, the length of his cock a thoughtless drape to one side - was the most difficult of all to resist. It had taken her a long time to convince him that she found him just as erotic in this state, soft was just as sexy as hard, that she liked touching him just as much soft as hard, that for her soft was more intimate somehow.

He'd eventually learned not to feel pressured when she wanted to indulge in this particular pleasure and even to enjoy it.

But if she touched him now he'd be hard in less than a minute, and it would wake him, which she didn't want to do. At the moment all she wanted was for him to be here, limp and sleepy and sated and cradling her in his arms.

She made due with shifting a little closer and tucking her head under his shadowed jaw. He sighed a little, a deeper exhale than normal, but didn't stir at all.

There was a sheet haphazardly wound around them in a sea-green twist. It was covering most of the important parts, she thought, so if anyone decided to walk into the tent without notice they were safe from most embarrassment.

It wasn't going to last much longer, she thought. Already the tent was beginning to warm. The white canvas was no longer the rose and gold shades of sunrise but brightening to the true pale yellow of morning. She could hear the sounds of the camp waking up, voices and machinery moving, engines purring and back-up alarms beeping politely but insistently. Even their air mattress was becoming too warm to remain cuddled up like this much longer.

All this was bound to wake him up and she was still feeling like she couldn't get up if the tent was on fire.

On the heels of that thought, Daniel's head moved on the pillow, he swallowed and opened his eyes.

"Hey," he said, low and sexy, muscles tightening as he pulled her closer.

Jillian smiled. He woke up as beautifully as he slept.

"Hey," she answered.

They laid there just looking into each other's eyes for a short time, reading the message of _I love you, last night was incredible, wish we didn't have to get out of bed, ever, I've never felt so close to you…._

What he said out loud was, "Holy gods you're beautiful."

Jillian started to answer and was interrupted by the voice of Jack O'Neill, much too loud and much too close.

"Daniel! Hope you're both decent!"

Daniel sat straight up, yanking most of the sheet over Jillian and pulling a bit of it over his lap as he swung his legs over the side of the air mattress. Jack came through the tent flap, ducking with practiced ease and carrying a mug with steam coming off the top. From the smell, it was coffee.

"Jack, what the hell?" he said, eyes on the floor and fingers scratching through his scalp to wake himself up.

"How long were you planning to sleep today?"

"As long as possible," Daniel squinted and then inclined his head towards the mug, "Is that for me or are you just being unusually cruel?"

Jack glanced at the coffee mug as if he had forgotten it was in his hand and then came forward and gave it to him.

"Careful, it's hot," he said, "Morning, Jillian. I didn't bring you anything. Wasn't sure what you'd want."

Before Jillian could answer Daniel snapped, "She'd probably like you to stay the hell out of her tent until she can get dressed."

Jack's level, military professional gaze swept over Jillian, who was barely visible behind Daniel and covered from her shoulders down by the sheet.

"I've actually seen her in less," He observed.

"I'm fine, Jack. Thanks for asking," she said, with a slow shake of her head.

Daniel had hunched over and swallowed a few doses of coffee.

"Did Teal'c make this?" Daniel asked.

"In fact he did. Why?" Jack asked.

Daniel swallowed more, wrinkled his nose a little and said, "It's a little strong."

"Like Teal'c" Jillian observed.

She had leaned forward against Daniel's back and pressed a kiss on his shoulder.

"Did you want something, Jack? Something that couldn't wait until after showers and breakfast?" Daniel asked, folding both hands around the coffee mug.

""I figured you wouldn't mind if I woke you," Jack said.

"And you figured this because?" Daniel let it trail off, lifting his eyebrows and then letting them fall again.

"Because," Jack shrugged.

"Because?" Daniel lobbed the word back at him with a deft verbal backhand.

"– They just uncovered another piece of that map."

Daniel paused with the mug just about to his mouth.

"They did?"

"Big honking piece of it too," Jack went on.

"Bigger than the other two?"

"Bigger than the other two combined, they think. They're still digging it out."

"Who is 'they'?" Daniel asked, with a sudden alarm tightening his frame and expression, "Not a bunch of jarheads?"

"I left Teal'c and Nyan there," Jack said.

Daniel relaxed, but only slight.

"Okay, well, give us a few minutes to get dressed and we'll be right there."

Jack didn't make any immediate attempt to leave but Daniel glared at him long and hard.

"See ya in a few," O'Neill said and left the tent.

(0)

Nyan walked out to meet Daniel and Jillian as they walked towards the site of the new discovery.

"It may be a false alarm, Dr. Jackson," Nyan said, "The stone is clearly the same as the one used on the other maps but there isn't anything carved on this one."

Daniel stopped just within reach of another huge chunk of stone, shaped into a rectangle that was being carefully dug out of the earth. It was tilted shaped by smooth clean edges on two sides and a jagged broken edge on the other. Very little of it was completely exposed, on an acute angle with the ground below. A line had been dug down the sides with shovels and it was, indeed, at least twice the size of the other pieces. He looked at the ground while tying a bandana around his head. The day was already hot and was only going to get hotter.

"Umm," he said, slowly, "Has anyone tried looking at the other side?"

Nyan blinked at him for a moment, understanding dawned and he shook his head mutely.

Daniel nodded as if he wasn't surprised. His expression took on the look of a professor teaching a class full of remedial students.

and then walked up close to the backhoe Teal'c was operating to dig out the stone. The Jaffa had discovered a natural ability with heavy machinery that surprised no one.

"Teal'c!" Daniel yelled.

His team mate cut the engine just enough to hear what Daniel was saying, though he still had to shout.

"Can you flip it over?" he asked, making a gesture with his hands to indicate what he wanted.

Teal'c tipped his head affirmatively.

"And not break it?"

Teal'c nodded again and Daniel hurried out of the way. Teal'c used the bucket at first to remove more dirt from on top, then painstakingly positioned the bucket under the exposed edge and began to lift. The stone moved by inches at first, dragged laboriously out from its grave until it fell over with a thud that shook the ground around it and raised a huge cloud of sand and dust.

It was the biggest piece yet.

Daniel kept everyone back until he knew that it had settled. He didn't have to use much of the brush he pulled out of his back pocket to reveal the etchings on the stone. He directed Nyan to the opposite end and sent the jarheads away. Jillian noticed the disgruntled looks the Marines exchanged at being ordered around by a civilian – even this particular civilian. If Daniel noticed it he dismissed it. Over the years a general attitude had arisen at the SGC – there was the military and there was SG1, and SG1 outranked everyone but Hammond.

Jillian knelt beside him, brushing grit away from another section. She touched his arm suddenly,

"Daniel, look."

It was small, which gave them perhaps a glimpse of the scale of the map, but the carved image she pointed to seemed to be the blocky series of buildings they had discovered,

"So now we know where we are," he said. "This is probably the volcano." He worked along the bottom edge to see where the boundary lines were drawn.

"But that would make this a mountain chain," Jillian said, indicating a jagged line of inverted V's around the building symbol. "We're in a desert, Daniel, with the very top of a destroyed volcanic cone sticking out of the ground, a couple of bluffs, some deeply buried buildings; and a shallow grave full of bodies."

His eyebrows came together in a concentrated frown. "Then something way more catastrophic than a volcanic eruption happened here. The buildings are all buried fairly deep under the sand," he observed, "Without metal detectors we'd have never found them.""

"The buildings must have been up fairly high in the mountains," Jillian said, "There could be an entire civilization buried miles below us."

She shivered a little. The shallow grave was bad enough. She shut down the train of thought before it had her running in miserable little circles.

"If that array _is_ a weapon it is possible they placed it at a high elevation to achieve some kind of maximum range. If the rest of the civilization is still buried it explains why this is the only building we've found," he stood up and swatted at the sand clinging to his khakis, "or this is the only building we've found because all that is left is stone and metal."

"Scotty dated all of this to three to four thousand years ago, Earth reckoning," Jillian pointed out. "This could have literally been the last place on this planet to have survived, a last refuge; at least for this nation."

"Enough time for a lot of things to be lost," Daniel answered, "and for the Ancients to place a Star Gate here and then abandon it for some reason."

"Maybe they wanted to re-establish a civilization here and changed their minds when they couldn't find an abundance of either hosts or natural materials. We've found nothing but sand as far as the UAVs have been able to fly."

Their eyes locked for a moment – a last refuge for a dying civilization, and perhaps one driven to a form of genocide in an attempt to survive. It would explain the mass grave. The Ancients abandoning the entire planet said loudly that there was nothing of value left on the planet. Jillian shivered in the heat as horror crawled under her skin.

Daniel leaned closer and put an arm around her shoulders. The warm and slender weight of her body leaned into the curve of her arm and became very still. He squeezed his fingers into her forearm comfortingly.

"You got it right last night, _malyshka_," he said, "This is not generally a happy place."

He leaned in and used his own cheek to turn her face towards him. He pressed gentle kisses against her eyelids. He feathered kisses along her cheekbone and hairline and the corner of her mouth – tender, light-hearted kisses meant to bring her back from the edges of sadness, kisses that calmed and coaxed a small smile from her.

"It would be nice to get away somewhere when this is over? Just the two of us?" she asked.

"We'll see what we can arrange as far as time off," he agreed, "and then argue over ocean or desert?"

"I guess it's a good thing we live in the mountains huh? Our jobs already made the compromise for us."

Daniel laughed in a short, sharp bark.

"Let's get some pictures and see where it fits together with the other two pieces. All right?" he asked.

Jillian sighed heavily but agreed. He helped her to her feet and called for Nyan to bring the cameras.

(0)

Malyshka – baby, female, in Russian


	85. Chapter 85

**This should finish up the 657 storyline.**

**(0)**

A light wind, known in the desert community as a zephyr, had started blowing. The day was hot. The wind was hotter. It kicked up sand, fine and glistening white, and swirled it into the occasional dust devil. Most of the personnel had sought shelter.

Daniel had left the joint SG1/SG8 meeting and walked out into the mini-sand storm without hesitation, striding across it in the direction of the stone block they had found two days ago. He moved over the shifted sand with the casual grace of the desert dweller, dismissing the wind and the sand, strides almost too long for her to keep up with.

Daniel was beyond upset, but he wasn't showing any of his customary need to crawl into a dark place. Besides, she was upset too and while her reaction was usually similar to his – a strong need to process the 'wrongness' alone in a quiet place – right now she wanted him.

He dropped to the ground beside the stone as if his legs had simply given out on him, with his back wisely against the wind. Jillian stopped beside him and folded into a lotus position, not close enough to touch, just close enough to feel his presence and let him feel hers. He took his glasses off and snapped the sunshades in place automatically, as an extra precaution against the blowing grit.

Jillian had a feeling that, at least for the moment, this particular desert had lost all its appeal for him.

It had once been a mountain chain, with green trees and meadows, glacier fed lakes and wildlife, a thriving civilization; now it was gone.

"They did this to themselves," Daniel said, quietly. He was tracing runes in the sand with his forefinger.

"Yes," she agreed, equally as miserably.

"This was never a map. It was a memorial, to the world they were losing, to the world they destroyed."

"If it gets into the wrong hands on Earth…" Jillian began.

His disgusted snort, derisive and frustrated, interrupted her.

"Are there _right_ hands?" he asked. "I can think of some obvious wrong ones – Kinsey, NID, Simmons – but I," he paused, inhaled as if his lungs were aching and said, "I know the danger of absolute power."

Jillian didn't say anything. .

She knew what he was thinking – the Sahara had once flourished, wet and green and fertile. Even she couldn't help but think of the ar-Rub al-Khali – the Empty Quarter, the Sand Sea, a place so desolate no one dared cross it. Seventeen thousand years ago it had been a lake filled paradise, home to hippo and water buffalo.

Nature was often cruel enough on its own, without the help of a humanity bent on destroying itself and the consequences be damned.

She also knew that in his head Daniel was watching Moscow burn. Sometimes she wished that Shifu's vision was still one of those holes in Daniel's memory

"It's not what they set out to do, Daniel," she said.

"What do they say about the road to hell?" he asked, turning his head toward her for the first time.

Sam had figured out the purpose of the array at almost the same time the third piece of stone had been found. At its most basic it was a means to control their weather – much larger than the device they had on Madrona, but fulfilling the same purpose. The science had left both Daniel and Jillian in the dust at that point, though it was clear Sam understood it. She'd been in a kind of awe yesterday when she described it to them. The array had been designed to divert the course of major weather systems away from populated areas by breaking up destructive wind patterns. It had been a device intended to save lives.

Until a leader, mad with grief over the death of his daughter, had convinced a nation to turn it into a weapon of mass destruction.

Jillian started to reach for him, her mind scrambling to find words. But no words seemed to exist to explain why a peaceful technology had been used to destroy a world.

(0)

_Many hours earlier….._

She'd been crying again. She was calm now, shuffling through notes as he came in the tent flap. But he could tell. He had assigned her the translation of the technical manuals Sam had finally found after figuring out how to search the database in the compound of buiildings. But it didn't help. The series of letters between Virocan and Faechel had simply stopped, with no indication that she had ever returned to him.

He crossed to the bed, sat down across from her and stated, bluntly,

"There's a meeting. SG1 and SG8. Right after, I'm taking you home."

Her eyes, ringed by a fringe of spiked lashes, flew open.

"Why? Did I do something?"

"No, it's what this is doing to you, what this keeps doing to you…," he paused and then went on determinedly, "what this will do to you in a few minutes. It's more than I can take any more. I can't stand seeing you like this and…. And I'm going to need to get out of here too."

"Why?" she asked, not hiding the edge of alarm in her voice or her expression.

Daniel looked at her somewhat helplessly. He didn't know how to tell her they were about to be torn between what was morally right, possibly what was morally necessary and their duty to the SGC, not to mention their chosen profession.

Jillian watched him closely. He had spent the last few days pouring over the historical record they had finally uncovered and, thanks to Scotty's dating system, he had found the last recorded events.

Daniel was amazing – continually and utterly amazing. While she was becoming familiar enough with the new language to recognize most of the letters and words, translating was still a process for her.

Daniel could read the new language as if he had grown up with it.

There were times he took her breath away.

"Faechel died, didn't she?" Jillian asked.

Daniel smiled a little sadly. "Those letters were written some three thousand years ago; so, yes, she died."

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

"Yes, she died, far from home, when she was still one of the Hostages of Peace. I found the official report and the correspondence. She drowned and for all intents and purposes it looks like it was an accident."

"Her family didn't believe it?" Jillian surmised. She had been reading this woman's letters for months. She felt like she knew her, and all the people she had written about.

Faechel's family had been the long time rulers of one of the four nations and as nearly as they could determine, the Star Gate was located in the mountain chain that had edged that nation.

"No, to put it mildly their reaction was strong," Daniel admitted.

"They went to war?" Jillian guessed.

"They tried," Daniel answered, "They were badly out-matched and tried to rally the other three nations. But those nations didn't want to risk it."

"So what happened?" Jillian asked.

Daniel didn't answer. He stood, held out his hand and said, "First, we have a meeting to go to. Sam's going to tell Mallory and Jack about the array."

Jillian stood. "They already know about this part?"

"The break down in relations among the five nations? Yes," Daniel said, grimly, "That part they know."

(0)

The meeting was in the room they had commandeered as an office. There was a white plastic table with black metal legs that folded up, surrounded by a few grey metal folding chairs. Jack had taken one at the head of the table already. Mallory was standing behind him, leaning back against a wall of cabinets with his arms folded. Teal'c was standing near him in a classic military 'at ease. Scotty and Rusty were in the two chairs on the left side of the table. Sam was in a chair on the right. One chair remained, next to Sam. Daniel held it out for Jillian, waited until she had settled into it and then assumed his favorite stance – feet braced, back straight and arms folded tightly, standing behind her.

"Think there's enough testosterone in here?" Sam muttered to Jillian under her breath.

"There isn't room for much more," Jillian agreed.

"Does someone need to take notes for this meeting, sir?" Scotty asked. He already had a pen and yellow note pad in front of him.

"That won't be necessary, Captain," Mallory answered.

Daniel saw Jillian's head lift and turn to look at her CO. Rusty had his eyes fixed firmly on the table but he glanced at her significantly. SG1 wasn't the only team that communicated in subtext and body language, he thought; and even he had never heard anyone call Scotty by his rank.

Daniel sought Jack and found him wearing his locked-tight mission expression. His eyes automatically looked for Teal'c and found the same.

Damn.

"Major Carter," Col. Mallory said, "Could you please tell us what you found out about this array?"

"Yes, sir," San had caught the mood in the room, the tone being set by the ranking Colonels. Her answer was succinct and efficient. "It is basically weather control technology. The machinery down here is the control center for what was once a system of powerful antennas capable of creating controlled local modifications of the ionosphere. "

"Do you know what it does specifically, Major?" Mallory asked.

"According to the records Daniel translated," Sam answered, "it's capable of creating rain patterns by using giant ionizers to generate waves of negative ions which rise into the lower atmosphere and attract dust particles. The dust particles, in turn, attract condensation from the ambient air, and when enough condensation is achieved a downpour of rain is unleashed. It can also trigger atmospheric disturbances by using ELF, Extremely Low Frequency radar waves. Its range is incredible. It's capable of small-scale tailoring of natural weather patterns to complete dominance of global systems."

Daniel took up the narrative, unasked. While Sam had sounded just a little bit awed by the science in front of her, Daniel was clearly less than enthused,

"It's also capable of creating massive droughts, overwhelming heat and affecting tectonic movement…."

"Daniel!" Jack cut him off sharply.

Daniel scowled at him. Then he was distracted from the stare-down when Jillian turned her head and looked at him. Her eyes had gone wide and horror-stricken and he knew she understood with no further explanation.

She understood what had happened to the green and verdant mountain chain and what Faechel's family – lacking a serious weapon of mass destruction - had done to avenge her death.

The rest of SG8 got it about a half second after Jillian. Rusty fixed his eyes on the table again. Scotty looked at Mallory, seeking either guidance or clarification or denial. Daniel didn't bother looking at Sam or Teal'c. He knew they'd both already figured it out. Daniel looked at Jack again and got only a stubborn refusal to look back.

"Major," Col. Mallory said, in slow careful words, "Is it a weapon?"

It was a direct, hard military question but Daniel didn't miss the specific way it was phrased – is it _a_ weapon. Mallory had not asked if it could be used as a weapon, or it if was _the _weapon that had destroyed a mountain chain and most likely a planet.

"No, sir, but…"

Jack held up his hand and made that short, sharp _aht_ sound that mean 'stop talking.'

"Yes or no, Major," he said, "Is it a weapon?"

"No, sir," Sam answered.

"Does it function?" Mallory asked.

"No, sir," Sam said, choosing her words carefully. When it didn't seem that she was going to be interrupted again she offered an explanation, "It used to be powered by the geothermal energy of the volcano, but when that went extinct after its last eruption, the array stopped functioning."

Jack turned his attention to Daniel, almost reluctantly, as if he was afraid to let him start talking again.

"Daniel," he said.

"Yes, Jack," Daniel said with forced politeness.

"Is there anything in here that explains how to make a weapon?"

"Well, no, but –"

"Blueprints?" Jack cut him off.

"Nothing like that, but –"

"Technical manuals describing weapons technology?"

"No," Daniel said, through his teeth. "But you know that –"

"Daniel!" The word hit like a blade.

For a single breathless moment Jack and Daniel stared at each other, matching belligerence with belligerence. Then Daniel turned and walked out of the room.

Mallory spoke quietly, "Thank you, Major. SG8, you're dismissed."

The three junior members of SG8 exchanged startled looks, but stood as one unit and left the room. They didn't say anything to each other as they left the building, climbed up through the long tunnel back to the surface. But once they were out in the open air, Scotty burst out,

"They did this didn't they? They used the array to negatively affect the climate over enemy territory and they lost control of it; or they caused the earthquake that caused the volcanic explosion and the array was shut off. Can you imagine? Earthquakes, wildfires, floods, all started with no hope of stopping it….."

"Scotty," Rusty cut him off. He took a moment to lift his Air Force cap, rub a hand over his wiry red hair and settle his cap back in place. "We'll wait to see how Mal wants to play this, okay?"

Jillian had been listening to them but her eyes had chased over the landscape until she found the retreating form of Daniel marching across the sand towards the map.

"I'm going after Daniel," she said.

Neither man stopped her. Neither of them had the heart for it.

(0)

Jillian continued to sit in the sand and stare at Daniel. There was no need to speak. The end of this planet must truly have been horrible as their world had died, as lakes and rivers had dried over the course of months, vegetation disappeared, wildlife perished of hunger and thirst, or was hunted to extinction. Jillian couldn't help but think of the mass grave, of the people who had been' culled' to stretch the remaining resources.

As if he knew her thoughts, Daniel said,

"They had a lottery."

"What?"

He gestured with a listless hand in the direction of the grave far in the distance.

"To see who would live and who would die to give the others better odds. In the end it didn't matter. In the end there was nothing left. This world became so desolate the Ancients even abandoned it." A slow sorrow filled his voice and his words came hard. "We can't leave this here, Jill. What if the Goa'uld find it?"

"We have to trust Mal and Jack to figure out how to report this to Hammond and do the right thing," Jillian said.

A muscle twitched along Daniel's jaw as he clenched his teeth. Jillian put her hand on his arm, inhaled to offer him more words of reassurance…

And then a muffled _boom_ sounded in the air, a column of sand and debris and smoke rose from the ground and they were on their feet and running.

(0)

There was nothing where the entrance to the buildings had been but a collapsed hole of blackened sand with wisps of smoke rising from it. A crowd had gathered, held back only by the force of personality of two Air Force Colonels.

Daniel automatically sought his team and Jillian sought hers. He saw Jack exchange a single look with Mallory, then SG8 turned and moved off with their CO. Mallory waved the crowd away, told them to get back to work for now until they could sort out what happened.

Expression tight under her desert cap Sam asked, "Sir?" She was tense, leaning forward in that startled pose that craved action but waited on the command of her CO.

Jack didn't look at her. He understood what the loss of that much technology might mean to her.

He understood what the preservation of it might have meant to Earth.

"Carter?" he asked in return.

Sam continued to wait. The questions hung in the air unasked.

"Must have been something unstable in the machinery," Jack said, lightly. "You removed all your computer stuff?"

Sam blinked her wide, startled eyes and said, "Yes, sir, just like you ordered."

Jack nodded, "Good. You need to pack up. You're going to the Alpha site to help your Dad with a project."

Sam blinked again. "I am?"

"Yep. Teal'c give her a hand would you?"

With a brief affirmative inclination of his head Teal'c moved off and Sam scrambled after him.

That left Daniel standing, slack-jawed and off-balance, with Jack. Understanding slowly dawned: the brief, terse requests for only specific information at the meeting. They didn't have to report what they had never been told.

O'Neill turned to him, just a slight movement of his head and chest and shoulders.

"What did you do?" Daniel's voice came out dust-strangled, shocked.

Jack shrugged. "If I tell you that, I'll have to shoot you," he said, "and I want to do that a lot, so don't tempt me."

Daniel looked back and forth from the blackened hole to Jack, who shrugged again.

"Our objective is weapons. According to Carter we didn't find any here and you didn't find any way to build weapons. Right?"

"Right," Daniel said, slowly.

"Write your report and give it to me first, okay?" Jack didn't make that sound like a question.

Still stunned by the magnitude of what Jack had surely done, Daniel could only nod. He started to walk away.

"Daniel?"

He looked back.

"It's not always up to you," Jack said, looking off into the horizon, "The hard choices… those are still mine. Okay?"

He remembered how they had all gathered around Jack; the way as they always did, seeking him when something went FUBAR. They needed him, trusted him; and Daniel also remembered how he had resisted the urge because he had a feeling that one day he would look and Jack wouldn't be there.

And he wondered in a way that made his breath hitch in his chest and a tight ache band around his chest….

What would that be like?

(0)


	86. Chapter 86

**I thought we could use some 'down time' before Heroes, and they need a chance to move their relationship forward.**

**(0)**

"Jill?" Daniel called when he came up from his downstairs office and couldn't find her.

"Out here, on the deck."

"Do you need anything?"

"Umm, a lemonade refill would be nice," she answered.

She had made strawberry lemonade, with real strawberries from the Farmer's Market. Daniel poured two glasses over some ice, elbowed the sliding screen door open and joined her.

She was stretched on a lounge chair – part of the patio set they had picked out at Lowe's – reading The Da Vinci Code. She was wearing a pair of hot pink gym shorts, a white ribbed tank top and her engagement rings (and very little else from what he could tell.) Her long, bare legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankles. Her toenails were pale turquoise blue. Her hair was caught up in a careless bun on the top of her and wrapped with a hot pink scrunchie. Daniel held back a smile. Forced into drab colors for most of her daily life, Jillian had taken to wearing vibrant colors at home. It matched the sunlit harmonies of red and brown and gold in her hair. He loved the contrast, the part of her that only he knew, the part of her that only he got to enjoy.

When he didn't join her right away she turned her head to look at him – a movement filled with unconscious feminine grace.

"Did you forget something?" she asked.

"No," he let the smile appear now, "Just enjoying the view."

She was wearing little enough that he could see her blush from her toes to her temple. Daniel watched the color flow over her, from the swell of her breasts above the scooped neckline of her tank top to the column of her throat and over the curve of her shoulders. Desire for her surged, as if he was a teenager again at the mercy of forces beyond his control.

He joined her and she moved her legs over to make room for him to perch on the lounge chair. She took a long sip from the lemonade glass and he couldn't help but watch the way her lips shaped to the glass, the sweet swipe of the tip of her tongue to catch the extra moisture before she set the glass on the table beside her. If he kissed her now it would be a striking combination of cool and warm, sweet and tart.

He nodded his head towards the book as she put it on the table beside the glass.

"Did you figure out how that ends yet?"

"No," she admitted, "But I don't think I'm really trying. I'd rather enjoy the journey."

"Well, tell me how it ends," he said.

"You're not going to read it?"

He shrugged. "I gave up mysteries around age ten."

"Because you always figured them out, so there was no surprise at the end," she guessed.

He shrugged again and his face took on the expression that was a mix of apology and embarrassment.

"Don't be like that," she chided, gently, "I'm very proud of you." His eyes sought hers, wanting it to be true. She smiled. He couldn't breathe. "I had nothing to do with making you who you are but I'm still very proud of you."

They laughed together, quietly. He drank some of the lemonade and stared out sightlessly at their sloping lawn. The rose garden Teal'c had made her start was in bloom. A bright orange rose with huge petals and heavy blooms climbed the trellis edging the back of it. The rose was a variety called Danny Boy, something that had shocked him at first, though he wasn't sure why. She had admitted the garden had been her own personal tribute to him. They also had two more known as Danny Boy – one was dark red and the other was yellow. There was another deeper red variety called simply Daniel; and their dining room table held a vase of light pink tea roses that she had brought in that morning, rather embarrassingly called Danny's Smile. Others that made his heart clench a little included Loving Memory, Heart's Desire, Spirit, Starlight Fantasy, and Blue Heaven (which she said was for his eyes but it was actually a kind of mauve color, so that one was confusing.)

At his insistence there was now a Jillian (McCredy, but it was as close as they could get), Forever Young (which was one of the meanings of her name) Green Fire (for _her_ eyes, even though it was a stunning shade of deep yellow) and Forever Yours, for obvious reasons.

They'd had to hire a master gardener in addition to the regular lawn service but Daniel didn't care. Jillian had gone from caring about the rose garden to adoring it. He had plans to add one called Wedded Bliss as part of his wedding gift to her, even though he wondered when roses had been something he knew about.

A sudden surge of tenderness and love caught at his heart, caught him off guard. For all that he knew how much he loved her the depth of it still had the power to surprise him.

If he could just get her to pick a venue for their wedding, his life would be pretty damned perfect.

He found her staring at him patiently when he finally gave her back his attention. He leaned across her to put his drink on the table, pushing against her - on purpose – with a slow, delicious press of weight.

He let his hand glide down her leg as he straightened back up – on purpose. A shiver went down her leg in the wake of his fingers.

"I have something for you," he said.

Her eyebrow lifted. He dug into the pocket of his chinos and held out his closed fist as if it held something precious and mysterious. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he turned his hand over and revealed a small set of keys on a simple chain.

"You got me a car?" she asked.

"They're house keys."

"You already got me a house."

"We got each other a house," Daniel corrected, "but we don't get to keep the one that goes with these keys. We just get to borrow it."

"Daniel –"

"They're the keys to Jack's cabin. We gave them to me for my birthday and said I should take you there for a while, just to get away."

"To Minnesota?"

"It's a lake, solves the ocean versus desert argument for us."

"You want to go?" She looked hesitant but he hadn't missed the way her face had lit like a candle when he told her the keys were for the cabin.

"Yes." He was holding her eyes with his own, looking at her as if he could move her to do what he wanted with only the strength of his love and patience and desire….

Which of course he could because those things had texture and substance for her.

"Just us? No phones, no emergencies?"

"Yes. Sam's at the Alpha site, Teal'c's off to get an update from Bra'tac –"

"And my team?"

"On stand down, per Hammond. I was supposed to tell you that first, I think."

Jillian smiled at him and suddenly he wished he had thought to bring her the keys on a silver tray with one of her favorite roses, maybe one of the red Danny Boy's she loved so much.

They had not been together so long that he could afford to forget to be romantic and spontaneous. He wasn't sure they would ever reach that point because he was painfully aware that if he didn't pay attention to Jillian there was a line of guys a mile long behind him who would.

"Okay. When do we leave?"

"How fast can you pack?"

"How long can we stay there?"

"A week? Sound good?"

Jillian smiled and leaned up to kiss him. It sounded perfect. It sounded like heaven.

It sounded like time for everything they didn't usually have time for – like peace, and aloneness….

And maybe even uninterrupted happiness.

(0)


	87. Chapter 87

**Making love in the shower, had to get to that eventually. ;-)**

**(0)**

They drove over the little bridge and Daniel pulled their rented SUV up to the fallen log, by the stone circle around a tree that he assumed served to mark a parking space beside the cabin. They sat for a moment looking at the little dark brown cabin.

"What do you think?" Daniel asked.

"It reminds me of Jack," she said, "Basic, isolated, made of a lot of tough natural materials."

Daniel swept her with a speculative look. "How much attention have you been paying to Jack?" he asked.

She grinned. "Jealous?"

"I try not to be," he said, "So let's call it possessive."

"Possessive?" Her grin turned teasing.

His response startled her. He moved across the front seat, caught the back of her neck in his hand and pulled her towards him. He moved so that he had her caught between his body and the back of the seat. It wasn't an embrace. It was an assertion.

"Daniel," she exhaled.

He leaned in close and she felt the warm tickle of his breath against her neck, near her ear. The solidity of his body pinned her to the seat. His mouth came to hover over hers, then to settle on it, teasing until she woke up under the questioning insistence and he took full advantage of her hot, soft willingness.

When they finally stopped he stayed too close for her to really focus on his face, still touching his lips to hers in quick, gentle movements. He could feel her smiling.

"The ice cream is going to melt," she said, "And you won't be happy if your coffee creamer gets sour."

"Okay," he paused to punctuate it with another quick kiss. "First things first: groceries, Jack said there were sheets and towels in the dresser in the guest room, and we'd probably want to open all the windows and air the place out a little."

He waited for her to find the key that opened the front door, hands full of plastic grocery bags. Inside they found a small room crammed with heavy rustic furniture and dominated by a huge leather couch and a stone fireplace. Daniel walked straight into the small kitchen.

"Dan?"

"Yes?"

"Is that a flat screen TV set into the fireplace?"

"Looked like one to me."

"We're in the middle of nowhere," she pointed out as she joined him in the kitchen.

"Well, Jack said there's a satellite dish and the bottom drawer in the dresser in the bedroom has a bunch of movies," he straightened up from putting bags of fruit in the fridge, turned to her and shrugged, "It's probably things like Top Gun or the entire Die Hard trilogy though."

Jillian grinned.

"What?" He asked.

"I was going to say it's all very masculine," she said. She went to the street and tried the water, surprised to find it running clear and hot. The fridge was also humming and cycling happily. "Does Jack leave all this stuff on when he's not here?"

"No," Daniel answered, giving the fridge door a little nudge with his heel to close it, "He said he has a cousin who lives near here who watches it for him. He came up yesterday to turn everything back on."

Jillian was looking around at the rough paneling and beamed ceiling. Daniel tilted his head.

"Are you going to tell me the whole place is like Jack again?"

"That depends," she answered, in a silky purr, "Will it make you pin me up against a wall and kiss me again?"

His eyes swept her from head to toe and back up.

"If you want," he answered.

Instead of answering with words Jillian walked up to him, straight up to him, invaded his body space and backed him into the door of the fridge. Her body pressed up and down the length of his as she kissed him, her hands on either side of his face, palms against his bristly jaw.

Daniel dropped his hands to cradle her hips and kissed back.

When they parted she rubbed his jaw and said, "Let this keep growing."

His eyebrows went up. He knew he was a little scruffy at this point. They had been in motion for almost twenty four hours. It had been two long flights – first to Minneapolis/St. Paul, then to Duluth, followed by a long drive on state highway 53 and then an even longer drive searching for side roads that got increasingly smaller and eventually turned to dirt, with Jillian reading Jack's scrawled directions. (_Turn right onto second dirt road, this is Iris… Iris? Seriously? This will join 190__th__, make another right. Then make the third left after the long row of mailboxes onto Homer… Daniel, really? Jack's cabin is on Homer Lane?)_

"For a week?"

"You know how much I like it."

Daniel shook his head, laughed slightly. "Okay. Why not? If you're going to be stuck surrounded by all this masculinity I might as well see if Jack left a red plaid shirt behind and grow a beard for you."

"I was hoping for just jeans and a pair of suspenders while you chop wood," she teased.

Daniel laughed, eyes dancing. He braced his feet apart, linked his fingers behind her back and leaned in for another kiss.

Jillian pressed back against him, hard. He was relaxed, happy, laughing – so different from the man she often lived with under the mountain. He'd been seducing her since they left the ground in Denver. Whether or not he had been doing it on purpose or not she wasn't sure.

"Why don't you finish this and I'll go find the sheets and towels. I'd love a shower to be honest."

"Would you love company?" he asked, pulling her hips closer to his.

Jillian fell forward against him. He wasn't hard, not even remotely. She could feel the soft heaviness of him through his khakis, trapped between them. But it wasn't unusual for Daniel to separate desire and seduction from arousal. He often wanted her, and badly, without reacting to it until he knew she wanted him in return.

"Yes," she whispered. "I would."

(0)

By the time he joined her she had stripped from her travel clothes and had the water running hot and steamy, the way he liked it. The bathroom was a decent size, longer than it was wide. It had been added to the back of the house at some point after the initial construction. It had the same rustic paneling surrounding porcelain fixtures. The tub shower combination wasn't anything like what they had in their master at home but it would hold them both and they knew each other well enough now that maneuvering would be a slippery seductive slide and not an awkward repositioning.

By the time he had stripped and pushed the shower door open, she had her head tilted back with water running through her hair, turning it to a dark auburn fall clinging to her arms and shoulders. Her eyes were closed, her smooth white throat arched as she tilted her head back. Water ran down over her in a sensuous cascade, over curves and swells and shadowed arcs defining feminine muscle. He loved her legs, their length and definition, the cut on the outside edge of her thigh that seemed made for his fingertips, the firmness of her calves, trim ankles, slender feet. He loved the way those gorgeous legs felt wrapped around him.

"You coming in?" she asked, breaking the visual trance he was falling into.

"Yeah." It was throaty, husky even to his own ears.

He let the door slip shut behind him, encasing them in hot wet privacy. No one was going to disturb them. He'd turned off both their phones and unplugged the land line.

Jillian came towards him, moved past him in a slow carnal glide to let him stand under the water. There was an initial shock as the hot water hit his skin. He let it soak his hair and then beat on his neck, sluicing down his back. When he opened his eyes, Jillian was holding out her shampoo bottle with a questioning look on her face.

He took it from her with a soft smile.

"Turn around," he said.

She did and he took a moment to appreciate that she was just as lovely from the back as she was from the front. The shower was designed to lift off and become a handheld and he used it to quickly run water over her hair again before squeezing out a bit of her shampoo into his hand and working it into her hair.

Jillian sighed, inclined back as close as she could and still allow him room to work. Lather and heavy strands ran through his fingers. Broad fingers worked into her scalp. The sensation was delicious, intimate and oddly innocent while being somewhat erotic at the same time.

"Lean back," he said, reaching again for the handheld shower.

"Mmmm," she purred.

Water washed away the long hours of travel and the lather. His free hand lifted and parted her hair to get it all. He looked around until he found the little poof she liked to shower with. This one looked new. It was hanging around her bottle of body wash.

Well that was just too tempting. He turned her around and then poured the shimmery white liquid into the poof, worked it into a thick suds and set about soaping Jillian's lovely female body. After a moment which had started with his strong hand and soft lather on her neck, her shoulders, her back and ended with him cupping and teasing her breasts, Jillian moaned and tipped backwards again, away from him, losing her balance in a trance of pure pleasure. His left hand caught her around the back of her neck, holding her easily.

Her eyes opened in the barest of seductive slits, dilated to black. A smile ghosted across her lips. A delicious, helpless little whimper shivered up from her ribs. She put one hand against his chest but made no other move to touch him. Then she went utterly still and let him work, trusting his touch, knowing it, reveling in it.

He moved over her, front and back, slid his hand under her thigh and urged her to lift one leg and then the other, wrapping it over his hip while he soaped and washed and worshipped her from hip to toe.

Daniel turned them again so that she was under the water facing him, rinsing away soapsuds and leaving her skin tingling. He dropped the poof to the tub floor and slipped soapy fingers between her thighs. His other hand trailed down her spine, chasing the water, until he was holding her sweet, tight buttocks with his spread fingers.

Jillian's legs were so weak at this point she was being supported entirely by his arm down her back and the solidity of his tall, male body in front of her. His fingers slid, teased, worked in slick little circles to hit every sweet hidden spot and she sagged a little more. He held her with a simple assertion of male muscle and leverage.

"_Dan," _the word started as a sigh, folded into a whimper. She clutched his arms suddenly. Her hands slid on wet skin, gripped hard muscle to keep from falling.

"Like this?" he murmured against her forehead.

"_Mmmm,"_ which, accompanied by another whimper and a roll of her hips, meant _oh yes, oh god yes, oh don't stop, don't stop, don't stop….._

He leaned over to lick water from her neck and shoulder before closing his mouth over her skin and sucking hard.

In the closed, hard tub surround and limited space, Jillian couldn't writhe, couldn't burrow the way she might have in bed. There was no way to guide his fingers. She had no choice but to cling to him.

Daniel could no longer control his reaction. He was achingly hard now. His own breath coming short now, his own pulse pounding just from the incredibly erotic turn-on of making love to her like this.

Jillian knew it, too. She managed to swallow a few times and gasp,

"_Don't stop, but….nhnn, oh god, but stay hard, okay? Please, Dan?"_

"_Okay."_ He nodded, meaning it. It was taking almost all his effort not to rub against her.

Jillian let out a breath, a sharp, broken sound with a small shiver at the end of it. Then she surged against his fingers, flung her arms around his neck as if she were drowning and climaxed. He watched her somewhat greedily. Her head flung back, her entire body convulsing. He tried to get his fingers out of the way but she had clamped her legs together too tightly so he just held still and absorbed the convulsions into his own pulse. The only thing keeping her from collapsing was the strength of his arms.

She returned to earth as beautifully as she had taken off into heaven, smiling at him as if they had just shared a wonderful secret, settling carefully back onto her feet. She offered him a kiss as the water sluiced over them.

"I want to touch you," she said.

"Okay," he agreed, somewhat breathless but aching for her to do exactly that.

For a fleeting moment she stared into his dark, blue-ringed eyes, framed by long gold lashes caught with droplets of water. Daniel was so handsome he crossed over solidly into beautiful, like something sculpted by a master artist.

She got the bar of soap out of the dish set in the wall and began running it over him. Water and suds ran over shimmery skin and hard muscle. Light danced over his forearms and abs, the prominent curve of bone at the base of his throat and the arching bones that protected his heart. She soaped down over his hips, slid the bar over the indent beside the bone.

One hand against his chest pushed him back a step or two so that she could kneel to do his legs. His breath caught in his throat and a wave of dizziness made the room swim for a moment. He put a hand against the wall to steady himself.

She stood up again and moved out of the way so that the water could rinse him.

"Turn around," she urged.

He did. Her lips, cooler than the hot water, pressed against his spine, between his shoulder blades. Then water and soap were coursing down his back and she was running soap over his buttocks and between his legs. His hand hit the wall again and he opened his legs to give her better access.

She kissed that spot on his back again as she pressed in and up with the soap, let it hit the back of his tense balls. His cock throbbed.

"Jill," he begged, turning around, "We're going to run out of hot water."

Then she had the shower handle and was rinsing him again, getting him to bend over so that she could get shampoo into his hair. He let her do that part but grasped her wrist and put her hand against his raging erection and silently begged her to stroke him while he finished lathering his hair and rinsing it off. He was shaking so hard he could barely get the shower handle back in the bracket.

She was stroking him slowly, in worship and appreciation. It felt…. _Oh, there…there…_ amazing. He was taut and ripe and achingly sensitive and he wanted it harder and more. He reached down, wrapped his hand around hers, tried to get what he was burning for.

To his shock she let go of him entirely, pushed his hand away. His eyes flew open only to find her turning around, bracing against the wall, water running down her back, mingling with the fall of gleaming hair. She looked over her shoulder at him, inviting, almost wanton, feet spread.

"You're sure?" he asked. His throat was dry. His pulse was pounding. He was so hard it was starting to hurt. Seeing her in a position of that much sexual submission was almost more than he could take.

"Of course?" she said, with a questioning lilt that asked why he would even need the reassurance since it was clearly her idea.

He pressed against her, so close the water had to divert and run to the side. He put an arm tight around her hips, lifted her for a moment to ease into position and then shifted his hips forward and he let her settle back onto her feet.

Encased in warmth, tight and hot moisture that was different from the water, slippery and throbbing. He wanted to burn the feeling of her into his senses, into his psyche. He had the memories of other women, other experiences, other touches. But this body was newly returned to earth as a copy of the one he had lost to radiation poisoning. _This_ body had only ever known Jillian, only experienced her touch, her surrender. He found that sacred.

One hand moved up over her ribs to cup her breast. The other rested on her hip, holding her tight. He buried his face in her neck, knowing he was scratching her tender skin with the bristle she didn't want him to remove. It would be another day or two before it was soft enough to tease her. She moaned but it was desire.

She was also moving and he realized she was aroused again. He set his feet to get some leverage and began to thrust, short, hard and fast. He moaned into her neck. His hand gripped her hip and he pushed deeper, velvet over iron. She pushed back, hungry and making inarticulate little noises and suddenly she went rigid and said,

"_Dan, oh god, I'm cuh…."_

Daniel curled over. Everything but his hips went still and his entire body climaxed with her. He came like a burst dam, a blinding explosion into her silken depths. He pulsed and throbbed dry, trying to stay on his feet, trying to keep them both on their feet. The edges of his vision blurred into fluffy cotton for a moment and the sound of the shower faded into the distance.

He fought for control, eased out, turned her around so he could let her lean up against the wall, brace his hands on either side her head and kissed her in between deep, harsh panting breaths.

"I…love…you," he gasped.

"I love you too," she murmured back.

She found the bar of soap she had abandoned and worked up a lather in her hands. Then she spent a long time working over his genitals and he stayed soft, still braced against the wall with his eyes closed while she cleaned him off and savored being able to do it. She massaged lather into the tender folds and crevices, stretched him out and up to rinse him, and cupped his heavy balls into a flow of water, sluicing up underneath and behind. Daniel stayed still, one hand on the wall, eyes closed in bliss.

Daniel let Jillian do the space between her thighs even though he would have loved to. After climaxing twice she'd be much too sensitive to touch again. He kissed her while she cleaned up, rubbing his spent package on her hip in gratitude, caught up in love and adoration. Transported. Mesmerized. Enchanted. Head over heels, crazy in love….

The water was starting to cool when they finally hurriedly washed their faces and turned it off.

"Sleep or food?" he asked.

"Were we planning on dinner here?" she asked, toweling off and then wrapping it around her, fluffing her hair with her fingers.

"I was," he admitted, "Something simple, maybe the steaks we bought. Jack said there was a grill on the deck. Campfire baked potatoes, an easy salad. Music, candles and we could open that bottle of wine?"

"Sounds lovely," she said, and then fought back a yawn.

He grinned. "Right after a nap?"

Jillian smiled at him, looking drowsy but her eyes were also warm and happy and she was drinking in the sight of him. Her joy rolled towards him like a wave and he became buoyant with it. A giddy laugh built up, pushed past a quivering grin and finally burst out of him.

He crossed the tiny space between then and caught her towel-wrapped body in his arms, drawing her close. He loved her. They were alone for the next few days. He surrendered the SGC and the pressures of their daily existence and vowed to stop trying to think five moves ahead for a while.

For the next few days all he needed to do was just be with her.

(0)


	88. Chapter 88

**Daniel and Jillian finally make some plans….**

**(0)**

By day three they had settled into a comfortable routine of sleeping, eating, talking, taking long walks, cooking and cleaning up and learning to relax.

They'd had two spirited debates so far. One in which they passionately agreed with each other on the exploitation of the Yanomamo in the Amazon; and one in which they had engaged in a rather circular argument about the transition from foraging societies to farming community by early man. Jillian had come down firmly on the side of anthropology, with Daniel arguing that "hunter-gatherer behavior is insufficiently uniform for any concrete conclusions to be made from the archaeological evidence" and Jillian countering that "archaeology frequently failed to even address the evidence and hadn't made any new contribution to hunter-gatherer studies, but instead constantly misused modern anthropology to inflict patterns of observable behavior from present day aboriginals onto the past."

This, of course, had set Daniel into a passionate defense of his first career, pointing out multiple instances in which archaeological approaches had focused on group based structural principles to create all new theories on Neolithic transformations and that archaeologists claimed complexity for hunter-gatherer societies far more readily than anthropologists. Jillian countered by saying that archaeology was guilty of ignoring the importance of the 'small scale' and the individual, particularly the role of the outsider, despite the fact that most of the current archaeological data related to this level.

It was different from the moral arguments he had with Jack. (_I'm not going to give you information about these people just to help you aim better, Jack.) _It was a kind of intellectual foreplay for Daniel, a mental challenge that worked his brain with the same skill and attention she gave his body. It was something he didn't get from anyone else.

From the look on her face and response in bed that night, Jillian felt the same way about these debates.

Evenings were spent on the heavy leather couch with Jillian reading the latest Dragon Lance book and Daniel trying to catch up on a backlog of American Anthropology (an article of which had started the hunter-gatherer argument to begin with.) There were containers of wild flowers all over the cabin now too. Unable to find a vase anywhere, Jillian had improvised with buckets and glasses and wine bottles. Somewhere she had discovered throw pillows for the couch.

It had made him unreasonably happy – her books on the side table in the bedroom, the flowers and pillows. It made him think of the gardens she had put around their house - decidedly English, especially the rose garden - and the whole sections of their library devoted to gardening and science fiction, her collection of books about King Arthur and Merlin and the Middle Ages, the ocean prints and seascapes hanging on their walls, the jarful of seashells in their bathroom…..

All the ordinary things his extraordinary Jillian loved.

But it was obvious she really liked it here and was having a good time, relaxing, laughing more. They had taken a walk around the pond just because they wanted to, not because they had just gone through the Gate and there wasn't any choice but to walk. (Daniel had lost track of how many times Jack had tried to requisition Jeeps and been shot down.)

They spent their third evening on the couch with a light rain falling outside and a small fire crackling on the hearth. It was a remarkably comfortable couch with just the right combination of 'give' and support. Daniel was mostly on his back, his shoulders and head on the arm, his lower legs on a trunk he'd dragged over from under the window. There was a cup of abandoned coffee growing cold on the trunk, near his ankle. Daniel was flipping through a surprisingly vast array of TV channels with the sound turned off, swiftly reading the caption at the top of the screen as it appeared and rejecting it for the next one.

Jillian was wedged in between his thighs and the back of the couch, her head on his hip and lower belly, one arm bent awkwardly under her. She had a book in her other hand but she wasn't really paying much attention to it. Daniel's arm was draped over her, stretched along her, his hand on her hip, heavy with his customary, idle possessiveness.

The couch was great for cuddling after a nice meal, sturdy and forgiving enough for passionate love making, with enough room for the drowsy afterglow, or just curling up to watch something on TV. If Daniel would ever pick a channel, tonight it would be for all of the above.

"What's on Discovery?" Jillian asked.

"Daniel hit the Guide, scrolled and said, "Sasquatch: Legend meets Science."

"Bigfoot?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think there are any around here?"

"In Minnesota?"

"Yeah?"

"I think a better question would be 'do you think there are any'. Period."

Jillian smiled. She wasn't up to another debate with him, much less about Bigfoot. She was more in the mood for meaningful dialogue, something they would agree on. She put her book down on the floor and turned so that her right arm wasn't being so squished, but snuggled closer to him. It was Daniel – Daniel's body, warm and solid and delicious, precious and familiar. It was _home_.

"Why don't you just turn it off and we can talk?" she suggested.

Daniel kept running through the channels for a moment longer.

"About?"

"The wedding?"

The TV shut off abruptly.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Daniel went very still for a moment. Then he let the remote hit the floor and kissed the top of her head.

"Okay. What part do you want to talk about?"

Jillian hesitated. She had been reluctant to make solid plans, as much as she wanted to be Daniel's wife. It seemed too wonderful, to amazing. She had gone from mourning Daniel's loss and believing she would never see him again, to wearing his grandmother's engagement ring and being asked to plan the day that would start their life together - forever.

It seemed like something that would be taken away from her at any moment.

"Guests?" she said, cautiously.

"We said small?"

"Yes, small," she agreed. She stretched out her tingly right arm, crossed it over her waist and linked her fingers with him. It anchored her, calmed her. "My team and their wives, Scott will want to bring Annie; your team, Sam will want to bring Pete, General Hammond, Janet, Cassie and then my immediate family - Dad, my aunt and uncle, my cousin and her husband."

"Some of those are wedding party, not guests – Jack, Teal'c, Sam, Janet," he pointed out.

"Even smaller then," she said with a smile.

"That sounds fine to me, Jill, really. Have you reconsidered having it in the park or on the Base?"

"No, ummm," there was a long hesitation and Daniel held his breath. Then she said, "I think I'd like to have it here."

It took him a moment to process what she meant by 'here'.

"In Minnesota?"

"Here at the cabin," she said.

"Which is in Minnesota," Daniel pointed out.

She sat up and turned so that she was facing him.

"But it's so lovely and private and we could put a trellis with flowers over the dock and have the ceremony in front of the lake…."

Her voice trailed off and she looked at him hopefully.

"It's seven hundred miles from Colorado Springs," he said.

"We can hire a wedding planner," she said, "Keep in touch by cell phone and internet. It's not like we want that much. A small ceremony, something catered afterwards, music, help getting everyone set up in a hotel overnight. My family would have to travel from New York anyway, so this isn't even as far to go. When we get back from the honeymoon we can rent a hall and have a big reception for everyone at work, or just have an open house at our place."

"You've thought about this," he said, certainly.

"I wasn't sure you would like the idea, and I have no idea how Jack will react."

Daniel shrugged. "He'll say yes."

"I know he will," she answered, "I just want to make sure he says yes because he really doesn't mind, not because it's you who's asking."

"He'll say yes. He's been trying to get the team up here for years," Daniel said.

"We're not fishing during the wedding," Jillian said, cautiously.

Daniel laughed a little. "No, we won't fish. Besides, he's supposed to be the Best Man so he'll be in his dress blues for the day."

"Blue?" she said.

"Yes."

"Then Sam's dress should match somehow."

Daniel held up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Dresses are all yours to figure out."

"I hadn't considered blue but Sam looks fabulous in it. So you'll ask Jack?"

"I'll call him tomorrow if you want."

"Would you?"

"Yes."

"I'd like to know as soon as possible so I could find a wedding planner while we're here."

"We can stay a few extra days if we need too."

Daniel sat up and leaned his elbows on his legs, clasping his hands in front of him.

"Okay, if you get to pick the place – and I'm not saying it's not a great place, I love the idea – but there's something I want."

"It's your wedding too," she said, "And I know I haven't been easy to talk to about it. What do you want?"

"I can't wait a year," he said, shaking his head slowly, "I know you want it to be in the fall because that's when we first got together, but if you make me wait another year my head will explode. I love you. I honestly _ache_ from loving you. I want to move the wedding up to next spring. It should be beautiful here at the lake then. Nine months should be enough time to plan something this simple, don't you think?"

"Nine months?" Jillian did a quick mental calculation, "April?"

"Yes."

"Any particular reason April and not May? May might be warmer."

"Don't laugh at me?"

She held up two fingers and said, "Swear."

"April 4th, 2004 is a date I stand a chance of remembering."

Jillian burst out laughing.

"You promised!" Daniel hollered in mock outrage. He grabbed a throw pillow and literally threw it at her.

Jillian ducked and collapsed onto her back, still chuckling. Daniel lay down on top of her, pinned her to the couch.

"Stop it," he said through his own quivering grin.

She raised up on her elbows to look him in the eye. He looked adorable. "O-four-o-four-o-four?"

"Yeah, see, I might remember that!"

"You _might_ remember our wedding date?"

"If we make it that simple," he said, nodding and feigning eager innocence. She kept looking at him, eyes dancing and reflecting firelight. "Please?" he said, finally.

"Of course," she answered, "For a minute I thought you were going to suggest New Year's Eve again."

"It would be too cold here then," he answered, "It's _July_ and we have a fire going!"

Jillian didn't answer. She was getting used to spending winters making sure he was warm enough and summers without air conditioning.

She reached out and took a handful of his shirt, using it to urge him to slide up closer.

"So it's a date then?" she asked, as he inched up her body and stopped just shy of being able to kiss, "You and me and some friends and family on April 4th?"

"Yeah," he breathed, "It's a date."

"Wear your black suit?" she asked.

"You'll be wearing something white?"

She smiled, gazing at him in a way that was full of adoration and happiness. "Something like that, yeah."

Daniel moved the last inch that would let him kiss her and it was slow and wet and tender and deep. When they parted he said,

"Okay, one more thing?"

Her eyebrow went up.

"Where do you want to go on the honeymoon?"

"I get to pick?"

"Depends," he answered, grinning again. "Where do you want to go?"

"It's obvious isn't it?"

He frowned then, shook his head.

"My family owns a beach house in the Caribbean, one I've wanted to take you to for ages. It's not exactly on a desert island, but it has palm trees and sand."

Daniel paused and Jillian watched him. When he was trying to figure something out he looked to the side. When he already knew the answer to something he looked up at the sky or ceiling as he tried to put it into words. When he was angry he looked at the ground.

Right now he was holding her gaze with the steely resolve of a drill sergeant, unwavering, fire-flecked.

"You went there when I was….gone."

"Yes," she admitted.

"You ran to the ocean."

"Yes," she touched his face, stroked the beard that was now soft and sexy and so masculine, "I want you to help me get it back. I loved the beach house, Daniel. I need to feel that way again. I need to slip into that bed behind the mosquito netting with you. I need to wake up in the morning and start coffee for you and cook eggs the way you like them. I want to stand on the deck, watching the sun set with you behind me, your arms around me, your kisses on the back of my neck – all the things we do at home. I need to do all those things there_, with_ you."

His expression had gone soft and tender. It wasn't a request he could deny her – much less delivered in her sexy-sweet-contralto-of-persuasiveness voice. (She wasn't the only one with a 'voice weakness', though so far he had managed to keep it from her.) Since she had combined this request with those wide-irresistible- _oh god help me I'm falling into them_-green-green-eyes he was doomed.

Still…..

"So if I agree to go to the ocean with you, what do I get in return?"

Suddenly the green-green eyes of irresistibility were full of liquid desire.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"What are you offering?"

She put a hand in the center of his chest and pushed him away from her, sliding out from under him and standing. Offering him her hand she said,

"Come on into the bedroom," she said, hitting him again with the sexy, sweet contralto. "I'll show you."

(0)


	89. Chapter 89

**Missing scenes from Death Knell. It begins just after Jack asks Jacob "Where is she?" and Jacob responds "I don't know. I don't even know if she's still alive."**

**(0)**

Daniel kept his hands from shaking with a supreme effort, concentrating on getting the pressure bandage on Jacob's leg. He didn't dare look at Jack, not right away. He didn't want to risk seeing that sudden haunted look that Jack got in his eyes when Sam was missing or hurt. He knew Jack. He knew exactly how long it would take him to get that look under control so that they could make eye contact again when it was gone.

He felt more than saw Jack stand up.

"Daniel?" Jack said finally.

He stood up and returned only an innocent questioning look.

"Take charge of getting the wounded out of here. Teal'c and I are going after Carter."

A protest rose immediately in his throat, fought to get to his vocal cords. Daniel reined it in with an extreme effort.

"Okay," he said.

From the look on Jack's face he was gearing up for the argument.

"Daniel, look, I …." He began, confirming Daniel's suspicion. Then he stopped abruptly. "What?"

"I said, okay," Daniel answered.

When Jack looked alternately confused and then suspicious, Daniel said,

"Look, I get it. Teal'c's the best tracker in the SGC and you won't stop moving until you find her. I'll just slow you down, be one more thing making noise out there. I'll go do this and you won't have to worry about it."

Deadpan Jack said, "Who are you and what have you done with Daniel?"

Teal'c tensed up, brought his staff weapon upright. "Do you have some reason to believe that this is not, in fact, Daniel Jackson?"

"Besides the fact that he's being unusually reasonable?" Jack asked.

Teal'c was scowling fiercely at Daniel now. Daniel gave him a look that said _what the hell._

"No, Teal'c, it's me," he said, impatiently.

Something in Jack's eyes snapped as confusion took second place to frustration at being denied a perfectly good tension-relieving argument.

_Damn it, Daniel._

"You're a complete pain in the ass, you know that?" Jack asked him.

Daniel's smile lifted just the corner of his mouth. His eyes held something Jack couldn't quite get a read on.

"Go find Sam," Daniel said.

Still watching Daniel like he was some new and foreign insect, Jack radioed Reynolds with instructions to get the Gate back on its feet and prepare a medi-vac of the wounded _and_ to follow Daniel's instructions. If Reynolds chafed at being put under the command of a civilian he didn't let anything show in his tone. After seven years, it really did seem as if there was the military and then there was SG1 – and SG1 trumped all.

Jack watched Daniel walk away with a noticeable lack of resentment in the set of his shoulders and length of his stride. It still made him suspicious – the way Daniel had acquiesced so quickly to being told he wasn't going on the search and rescue. Daniel and authority had never been an easy mix. He was good at faking it – doing that lowered head thing and the wide innocent blue eyes that implied he was too scared or clueless to do anything but obey. The glasses had always added to the helpless look.

Ra had thought that – believing the man to be some helpless light-weight he'd handed Daniel a staff weapon and assumed he was just going to shoot all his companions because Ra had ordered him to.

That was just before Daniel had turned around and shot the son of a bitch.

Jack didn't think much had really changed in Daniel's basic attitude towards authority. He needed to focus on finding Carter now, but sooner or later he was going to find out what had caused Daniel's sudden willingness to obey orders.

(0)

Daniel walked away from Jack with more calm than he was really feeling. He wanted to go find Sam. He wanted to go find Sam so badly it was like a physical ache.

The only thing stopping him was Jillian's words on 657:

_You're not the one who isn't ready, Bǎobèi. It's us._ _It's all the people who love you and are frightened out of our minds to let anything happen to you again._

Jack was worried enough about Carter without looking over his shoulder at _him_. It galled him, not to go; and maybe he should have given Jack at least a token argument. That was part of what he did, on the team. He was Jack's lightning rod. He drew Jack's ire and gave him an outlet for his temper. He took the edge off so Jack could think. Teal'c wasn't suited for the job and Carter would be forced to stand there with military calm and take whatever Jack dished out.

But he really hadn't been in the mood to start an argument he had every intention of losing when there were wounded people waiting for him. It was the right thing to do and he had made the choice a long time ago to do the right thing. He couldn't help Jack and Teal'c, but he could help get a whole lot of traumatized, wounded people to safety.

Jack was just going to have to take his anger out on the super soldier.

The fact the Jillian would be moved to tears that he had not chased off into the unknown with a super soldier on the loose– even with Sam at risk - was more than a little side benefit.

In the meantime there were medical supplies that needed to come through the Gate and then they had to get the Gate upright.

Enough to keep his mind occupied until Jack came back with Sam.

(0)

For all that Jack had taught Daniel about stealth he had never been able to sneak up on Jillian when she was in his office. If the door was open she knew he was coming. The greeting he got from her depended on the circumstances. Sometimes she looked up from whatever she was doing and smiled at him. Sometimes she met him at the door with a bone-crushing hug and her face turned up for a kiss.

The sight of her always filled him with a kind of happiness and joy that had him fighting down the need to light up like a lovesick idiot – every time, whether they had had been separated for days or just come from a very brief debriefing.

This time, as he walked into the office, she was already crossing the room to walk straight into his arms, slip hers around his waist and hold on tight.

"Sam?" she asked.

"Still nothing," he admitted.

He stopped talking. She waited for a moment. She could _feel_ the words moving around in his head, wanting to be said as much as he didn't want to say them. She was never quite certain what to do in these times, how to help him.

"They'll find her," she said, very very quietly.

Daniel swallowed. "She's being hunted."

"What?"

The words spilled out of him like sugar from a punctured sack, interspersed with the occasional stutter as his voice resisted the words his brain was giving him.

"I just talked to Jacob. There's evidence that they were targeted specifically for the work they were doing, that-that-that this _thing_ knows Sam has the weapon they were developing and it's hunting her for it. She could be hurt and trying to hide from a-a-a- killing machine."

He was shaking when he finished. So was she.

"You've forgiven Jacob?" she asked, because there was nothing she could say about the situation with Sam, nothing they could do, "About Sarah?'

Daniel let go of her a little, pulled his glasses off and used his wrist to rub his eyes. Jillian tilted her head back but she couldn't tell if he was wiping away tears or exhaustion. She knew he didn't want this right now; wasn't up for it right now. She'd woken up in the middle of the night and found his side of the bed empty. She assumed he was trying to catch up a backlog of cataloguing, with artifacts from all over the galaxy still in boxes. The archaeology department of the SCG would never be overstaffed. She had wrapped up in her bathrobe, hoped the halls of the SGC would be mostly deserted at 3am and went looking for him.

When she had found him he had been hunched over a gigantic book with close up images of the chapel of Anubis in the temple of Hatshepsut in Egypt. She leaned in the doorway and looked at him for a moment. Sometimes Daniel's fingers needed to be physically pried off whatever artifact had caught his attention before he would remember that he needed to eat and sleep. 'Downtime' between missions tended to exhaust him more than the actual missions did. She knew he was a bit obsessed about defeating Anubis now, even more than he had been previously; and she knew that was about Sarah and maybe that should make her jealous.

But somehow it was impossible to be jealous. The way Daniel cared about certain people in his life being jealous would be kind of pointless.

The memory of his sweet attentiveness at the cabin and his extreme need to plan their wedding certainly helped.

She bullied him to bed (_You will come with me this second, Daniel Jackson and get some sleep or I swear I will go find Teal'c and have him drag you there)_, where he had fallen instantly asleep with his arms over his head, flat on his back in his underwear and t-shirt.

But he had been gone again when she woke at 8am.

"I'm not sure," he admitted, putting his glasses back on and leaning on her heavily. "But something is going on between the Jaffa and the Tok'ra – and one or both of them is guilty of somehow revealing the location of the new Alpha site. As much as I want to be with Jack and Teal'c, I might be able to do more good here."

Jillian was alarmed. "No one in either of those groups would betray us to Anubis," she said, firmly.

'Not intentionally, but Hammond is determined to find out what the hell caused this and I want to help him."

Jillian tightened her arms around his waist.

"Daniel?"

"Mmm?"

She rubbed her head against his jaw, nuzzled into his neck.

"I'm very very _very_ glad that you came back here, and that you're safe."

He nuzzled back, rubbing his cheek on her hair.

"Jack and Teal'c know what they're doing. I just have to trust them."

"Don't you?" she asked.

"What?"

"Trust them?"

Daniel thought about that for a moment. The first time he had gone through the Gate with Jack, O'Neill had every intention of nuking thousands of people and himself – mission objective first, everyone and everything else second. He was still like that. It would be easy to wonder if Jack was after Sam or the advanced weapons technology she was carrying.

Then he remembered the haunted look Jack would get in his eyes when she was missing.

Teal'c… Daniel held back a sigh. Teal'c had taken Sha're away from him three times, the last time permanently. It was one of the memories he wished Oma had found a way to keep from him forever.

Did he trust them? He was still struggling with so much of this life, with memories that were still just clicking into place. But yes, he trusted them and that was more instinct than memory.

"They'll find Sam," Daniel said, finally.

Jillian noticed that he hadn't exactly answered her question. It was something he did with surprising regularity and she often wondered how many people noticed. She shifted topics again.

"Your head is pounding." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah," he admitted, "I'm a little stressed, you know? Sam and all…."

"You get a headache when you need to eat," she said, "and when you've strained your eyes again, but I suspect this one is food related. Have you eaten?" she asked.

A ripple of tension ran through his tall frame.

"Define 'eaten'," he hedged.

"Something without empty calories or caffeine?"

He winced a little. "Candy bar and coffee about an hour ago?"

Jillian shook her head as his words confirmed that he hadn't been rubbing at tears or exhaustion. He had a headache from not eating, as she had suspected.

"Okay," she said, pushing back from him and putting a hand on his shoulder to turn him around towards the door. "Let's go get something solid to go with the sugar and caffeine fix."

"I'm not hungry."

"Daniel. –"

"I'm _not _," he reiterated, "If you don't eat for long enough you just stop being hungry. Right now food sounds as great as sitting in a round of talks between the Tok'ra and the Jaffa."

Jillian didn't want to know how he knew that.

"Please eat something?" she asked, "How appealing does it sound to sit in those talks with a headache and low blood sugar?"

Daniel sighed and let her propel him out the door and down the long gray corridor.

"You know I can't tell you no when you look at me like that."

There was the slightest hesitation and then Jillian purred,

"I do now."

Daniel glanced down at her as they stopped in front of the elevator doors. The delighted look of discovery that crossed her face gave him a small thrill of alarm.

"_Tā māde niǎo_," he muttered.

(0)

tā māde niǎo = god damn it


	90. Chapter 90

**A little Sam – Jillian - Janet friendship, during Sam's recovery at the end of Death Knell.**

**(0)**

"Want some company?" Jillian asked, peeking around the curtain at Sam, still lying on the hospital bed and looking like she'd been hit by a train.

"I'd adore some!" Sam said, scrambling to sit up, "I'm bored out of my mind."

Jillian came in, juggling a Rubbermaid container, a plastic bag and her laptop, all of which she dumped on the bed with Sam.

"I brought you something," she said, cracking the lid on the container.

"Oh my god, you made those caramel brownies?" Sam said, blue eyes huge.

Jillian had discovered that she could cook rather than starve, and there were certain things she liked making for Daniel (and certain things he liked making for her, which helped balance the 21st century with a certainty tendency on his part to a Cro-Magnon possessiveness.) But, she had also discovered she really adored baking and caramel fudge brownies had become a specialty.

"Yep," she said, perching on the side of the bed and pulling two cartons of milk out of the plastic bag. "Even you can only eat so much blue jello."

"Don't tell Janet," Sam said, reaching for a brownie.

Jillian frowned. "Why? You don't have any diet restrictions do you?"

"No," Sam took a bite and sighed, "Oh my _god_ these are so good…. No, she'll want some!"

Jillian laughed.

"Not in a sharing mood?" she asked.

"Not really," Sam opened a milk carton, "You know, when we're 'out there' she's one of my best friends. When I'm in here," she paused and dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "she's a bit of a tyrant."

Jillian laughed again and for a while they ate brownies and talked about nothing. Then Sam asked,

"What's the laptop for?"

Jillian could tell by the gleam in Sam's eyes she was hoping it was work, or something cool from off world. She hesitated for a moment and then said,

"I had a couple of bridesmaid dresses I wanted to show you."

To Jillian's surprise, Sam's face lit up even more.

"Oh yeah, let's do that," she said, moving the container so she could open the laptop.

Jillian moved around so they could both face the screen and tapped her pass code into the keyboard.

"Daniel said Jack is going to wear his dress blues, so I found some blue dresses I thought you might like," she said.

"You're never going to match 'Air Force' blue," Sam said. She got a little shivery at the thought of Jack in his dress blues and hoped Jill didn't notice.

"I wasn't trying to," she answered, "Now that the wedding is in the spring it makes finding a shade of blue a little easier. What do you think of this one?"

Jill was running through a series of images she had saved to her favorites. Sam considered the image on the screen.

"It's too 'chiffon -y', compared to yours and I'm not sure I could make something that fluffy work. I like the color though."

"This one?"

"Don't you think that's a little too shimmery pastel to go with the dress blues?"

"I thought you might say that, but I like the way it's cut like mine."

Jillian had picked her dress on a shopping trip to Denver right after she and Daniel had gotten back from the cabin. It had given her a chance to get away with Sam and Janet for some 'girl time' and for Sam to spend some time with Pete.

"Yeah, that's true," Sam said.

They did a Google search for 'blue bridesmaids dresses, spring' and spent the next fifteen minutes dismissing dozens for one reason or another – too sparkly, too short, has a train, good lord who thought that gigantic bow was a good idea, too low cut, too slutty, too light, too dark, too gray for spring, too plain, too sheer, too ballroom, taffeta(!), too sweet, too slinky, too many ruffles….

"Oh wait, Jill, look at this one," Sam said, suddenly, "It's a great color. It's got the same basic look as yours."

"Would you be comfortable in it?"

"Yeah, I've worn things like this before."

"You wouldn't be able to wear it again," Jillian pointed out.

"Jill, I've been in two weddings and both times I was assured it was a dress I could wear again. Both of them are hanging in plastic bags in the back of the closet," Sam said, "I'm not really worried about that. I really like this dress. If you do too, the maybe we can find a way to try it or something similar on."

"I can call the bridal shop in Denver and see if they can get it. You'll be on stand down for a while. We could all go up this weekend."

"When is that documentary supposed to start shooting?" Sam asked, wrinkling her nose as if she smelled something bad.

"Not for a few weeks," Jillian said, "I don't remember off hand. Daniel would know. He was throwing darts at the date on the calendar the other day."

Sam nodded. "I can sympathize. Think we could wait and go then?"

No one on the Base was looking forward to being the subject of a documentary. They were much too used to keeping everything they did secret to suddenly start talking about it.

"I'm pretty sure Hammond won't give us leave. You and Janet would have to go AWOL," Jillian pointed out.

"It'd be worth it," Sam said.

Jillian gave her friend a sharp look, wondering how much she was kidding. As much as she had seen both Janet and Sam cut loose on the 'girl's weekends'- they approached a three-day pass with the same energy, efficiency and commitment to excellence they gave to their jobs - she knew how much the military meant to both of them.

At that moment, the curtain moved back a few feet and Janet appeared.

"What would be worth it?"

Sam and Jillian both jumped.

"Holy Hannah, Janet," Sam gasped.

"What?" Janet asked, then, "Are those brownies?"

Sam and Jillian shared a look. "Busted."

Jillian passed the container to Janet.

"We're out of milk," Jillian admitted.

"I'll suffer," Janet, pulled out a brownie that was mostly fudge and caramel, "Oh my god, Jillian, you should quit your job and just make these full time."

"Maybe I'll just start a side business selling them to the SGC," Jillian said.

She grinned at Janet. There had been a brief, rocky time in their friendship when Janet was certain that Jillian would never forgive her for letting Daniel die. It had taken more reassurance than Jillian had been able to give her at the time, too much energy that was being consumed by grief.

There were some things that were beyond Janet's capabilities, beyond anyone's really and Daniel had managed to get himself right in the middle of one of those things. There was no one to blame but Daniel.

Janet still hadn't wanted to let him go. Death was death to her – whether it was the collapse into a corpse or the quick, bright transformation into energy that Daniel had experienced. Gone was gone, as far as Janet was concerned and she saw it as failure – a personal failure. She hated it.

But it had been a long time before Jillian had been able to offer Janet any relief from the crushing self-recrimination. The long evening full of hugs and tears and memories of Daniel had been inevitable. Sam had joined them eventually with a bottle of white wine and a pizza and then everything had been all right again.

Jillian tilted her head towards Sam.

"So how is she, really?"

"Well," Janet paused and licked chocolate off her fingers. "She's apparently good enough to eat brownies someone sneaked into my infirmary."

"I asked you if she had a diet restriction," Jillian pointed.

"I didn't know it was so your brownies could be involved," Janet said.

Jillian smiled and looked fondly from one friend to the other. They were both brilliant, tough-as-nails, confident. Sam was too shy to be as charming as Janet, but both were dazzling when they wanted to be. She was blessed in her job, in her friendships and in her upcoming marriage.

Sometimes, she thought, life was just about perfect.

"So what would be worth it?" Janet asked again.

Jillian and Sam exchanged a look. The woman had a memory like a steel trap.

"We're thinking about going AWOL up to Denver to look at a bridesmaid's dress when that documentary crew is here," Sam admitted.

Janet looked back and forth between them and then shrugged.

"Well then count me in," she said.

"Not looking forward to your fifteen minutes of fame?" Jill asked.

"I'd rather gnaw my own arm off," Janet said, with a heavy trace of southern accent bleeding through.

They finished off the brownies, licking crumbs and caramel and fudge off their fingers and fighting over the pan to swipe it clean

"Hey, Janet," Sam said.

"Yeah?"

"Think we could let Jillian sneak some Thai take out in here?"

"Now you're pushing it," Janet said.

(0)

This is Sam's dress: .

This is Jillian's: .


	91. Chapter 91

**The beginning of Heroes. Bregman finds out that Daniel's Rose has thorns.**

**(0)**

Emmett Bregman stopped in the doorway of what he had been told was Dr. Jackson's office and paused with his hand fisted to knock on the doorjamb. The duo that had been assigned to him as a film crew stopped just short of The woman working at the desk had already heard his approach and was looking up at him with the widest eyes he had ever seen. The hell of it was that she didn't even look like that because she was startled. Her eyes really were that big, and that green.

He took a moment to collect himself and wondered at the same time if being extraordinarily beautiful was a prerequisite for working at the SGC – first there had been the ethereal female member of SG1 (an Air Force Major!), then the exquisite little dark-eyed dynamo who was their CMO and every woman he had met in between…. Now this.

If there was an embodiment of autumn, some kind of deity of the fall harvest, she was sitting at the desk in this small, cluttered, drab gray room.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

Emmett got his thoughts in order and his tongue working.

"I was looking for Dr. Jackson," he said.

"He's not here," she said. Her smile seemed wary if polite.

"Yes, yes, I can see that," he said, "Do you know where he is?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm sorry I don't."

He didn't miss the fact that she didn't offer him any hints as to where Dr. Jackson might be and that she really didn't seem all that sympathetic in spite of her words.

Then he realized who she was.

"You're Dr. Jackson's fiancé, aren't you?" he asked.

It was the wrong thing to say. He knew it was the moment it was out of his mouth and into the air. The smile left her face and her eyes narrowed. Her shoulders moved back as her spine straightened.

"I'm Dr. Jillian North," she said.

Emmett Bregman was suddenly slammed up against the wall of realization that this woman – all these women, all these beautiful, intelligent women who looked like they should be on magazine covers – had left this planet and been part of a war against an unimaginable enemy. The woman facing him across the room had three doctorates, if he recalled from reading her file and she, like the rest of the SGC personnel, had probably fought and killed and risked her life in defense of Earth.

"Of course, of course," he said, in an attempt to placate. "I didn't mean any insult. It's just that Dr. Jackson…"

He trailed off, knowing whatever he said next wasn't going to fix things.

"Is an SGC legend," Jillian said.

He surrendered. "Well, yes. He is."

She smiled again but it didn't reach her eyes.

"I'm well aware of my fiancé's reputation, Mr. Bregman," she said. "I still don't know where he is at the moment. His super powers don't include telepathy."

He backtracked as quickly.

"Dr. North, we seem to have gotten off on the wrong foot," he walked into the room with his hand extended, "I'm Emmett Bregman and I'm here to tell the story of what goes on here."

Jillian didn't get up though she accepted the handshake, briefly.

"I know who you are," she said, "and I know the basic premise of what you're trying to do."

"Basic premise?" he asked.

Jillian looked away and took a long breath. He suspected she was ordering her thoughts.

"I'm not sure that what we do can really be understood or told in any meaningful way by an outsider," she said, finally.

"Is that what you consider me? An outsider?" he challenged.

"Aren't you?" she asked.

"Well yes," he admitted, "but I hope I can be an objective outsider and do justice to the story of the SGC."

She leaned forward, folded her hands on the desk and speared him with a look.

"Mr. Bregman, I'm an historical anthropologist. In the past I've found myself in exactly the same role, albeit from a distance, so the harm I could possibly do is minimized. The role of "objective outsider" comes with an automatic professional exploitation of the subject matter. The role does not come without inherent biases, no matter how well intentioned the outsider may believe he is. The 'inside' perspective of the outsider will always be dictated by the mindset the outsider brings with him. I suspect the SGC you think yourself so well prepared for – from all your reading and studying and access to 'eyes only' files – is going to collide abruptly with the reality of the SGC. This makes us all a little …nervous about the eventual outcome of your time with us – how what you say will portray the SGC that we know."

Jillian sat back, rested her elbows on the arms of her chair and continued to regard him. He didn't think he had ever encountered that kind of hard, shrewd scrutiny.

No easily intimidated reporter had ever gotten anywhere. That much he knew. He countered with a quote, "_The writer must be universal in sympathy, and an outcast by nature; only then can he see clearly_."

"Julian Barnes," Jillian said, instantly.

Emmett blinked. Wow. She smiled tightly at his surprised expression.

"Staring at the Sun was one of my favorite works of fiction when I was in high school. He's an amazing author," she said. "You're talking about the use of a fictional outsider to tell a fictional story. Unless my mind is playing tricks on me, you're quite real and you intend to tell a story that isn't fiction."

"Well that's the point, isn't it?" he asked, "To tell the _real_ story from a fresh perspective? To do that I need facts from the real people who are living it."

"Even in fiction the outsider is driven by a need to succeed, often at any cost," Jillian hesitated and looked at the floor, "No matter how much you may want to tell our story, you'll be driven by your own need for success and may twist everything we say and everything you see to suit your own purpose. Whether you can place the actual reality ahead of your own ego remains to be seen. For me personally, I'm a bit concerned about your effect on my fiancé. You see, Daniel doesn't think of himself as a legend and he's going to resist every attempt to shine that kind of light on him. He simply _has _no ego that you'll be able to stroke to entice him to help you. He's not going to talk to you about himself. He rarely talks to _me_ about himself or his feelings or his experiences and wouldn't at all if I pushed him. So I'm a little bit worried about how you'll fill in the blanks. You can't tell the story of the SGC and not talk about Daniel at some point and, to be honest, that worries me. Daniel Jackson is extremely important to me, Mr. Bregman. I won't let anyone hurt him."

Bregman licked his lips and stalled for time as he tried to figure out how to proceed. He'd never encountered people like this, ever. In Jackson's file that he had been listed as a 'widower' and Emmett had gone digging for that story. He had been hoping to make the tragedy surrounding her more real, bring some romantic angle to it. But he also needed something that had a happy ending – which of course was Jackson falling in love again with a brilliant scientist who worked at his side defending the planet. If Jackson wouldn't talk, perhaps he could just get Jillian to tell him a little about that.

"Maybe you could tell me about him then?" he attempted. "I understand that he was married before?"

"I'd never violate Daniel's personal space that way," she answered, with a slow definitive shake of her head. "I still very much want to marry the guy." She leaned forward again, "And you just confirmed my suspicions that you want to exploit what has happened to us to make your little documentary more interesting." She startled him by echoing Samantha Carter, "We're just doing our jobs and living our lives."

He tried the same tact he'd used with Major Carter. "But these are extraordinary jobs and well worth documenting."

"That's where we'll have to disagree," Jillian said, "When we're gone, there will be all our diaries and all our recorded briefings to tell our story. We don't need a romantic docu-drama. I'll settle for historians looking back and forming their opinions. They won't be able to do us any harm from that distance."

"I'm hoping I can change your mind, Dr. North," he said.

Jillian swept him with a long look. "I think we're done, Mr. Bregman," she said, decisively, "When I see Daniel, I'll tell him you were looking for him."

Emmett turned to leave the room. He sincerely doubted that Jillian would do anything of the kind. This whole thing was going to be much harder than he had thought.

(0)

When Daniel returned to the office, Jillian was standing at one of the book shelves running a finger over the titles and frowning. He walked up behind her, slipped his arms around her waist, fit his body to hers in a slow tender press and sighed happily.

"What are you looking for?" he said.

"The E.A. Wallis book Osiris and the Resurrection," she answered.

Eyes closed, lips wandering the back of her neck below her upswept hair. Daniel reached out to the shelf in front of him, trailed his fingers along a few spines and then started to pull a book out.

"Volume two," she said.

He pushed the book back into its place, bent at his knees and took advantage of the semi-squat to rain kisses on her shoulder and arm. His fingers traveled the sides of the books on the lower shelf until he found the one he wanted, pulled it out, gave it to her and stood up again.

Jillian laughed, then sighed as he returned his attention to the spot below her ear that drove her crazy.

"Is there some reason Volume Two isn't next to Volume One?" she asked.

"It's… a …complicated…system," Daniel answered, in between kisses.

Jillian chuckled a little. "Based on whether or not you felt like getting up out of the chair when you put it back."

"Mmm." It was probably acknowledgment lost in the midst of serious cuddling.

"Do you have any idea what these two books are worth? Separately, much less as a complete set?"

"Should I?" Daniel asked. He gave up kissing her, straightened and pulled her tighter, resting his chin on her head. "They were in storage for decades after my parents died."

"You've got easily $700 worth of paper and binding here, Jackson," she said, relaxing back into his embrace. He didn't miss the way she leaned the inviting curve of her delicious bottom against his groin. His hands slipped up her ribs and shaped to her breasts.

"What I have here," he answered slowly, "is worth way more to me than anything made of paper and binding."

"Whoa," she said, startled, "What brought that on? I didn't know you cared about anything more than books."

"Stop," his voice caught a little in his throat and he lowered his forehead to her shoulder. "You know that's not true. It's _especially_ not true when compared to you."

He nuzzled a moment longer and then said, "I heard what you said, this afternoon, to Bregman."

"What? How?"

"I was in the hallway. I was going to come in to rescue you from him. But, frankly I was so …_taken_… by everything you were saying that I couldn't. I love you, Jill." He whispered the last part into her hair, kissed her again.

"I love you too," she said.

"Yeah, that was pretty obvious in what you said to Bregman. I hope for his sake he never turns a staff weapon me in my sleep."

Jillian laughed, turned in his arm and put hers around his neck.

"Can we go home?" she asked.

Privately Daniel was wondering if they would make it that far, from the look in her eyes. The elevator might even be iffy at this point.

"All the way home? Like to the house?" he asked.

Uncertainty settled in her eyes. She looked suddenly as if she was walking through a haunted house, like something was going to jump out of the shadows.

"The SGC feels different suddenly. I want to be where it's just to two of us."

"Normal," Daniel guessed. "No one poking into our private lives."

"Yeah," she nodded, and looked so relieved that he understood. "Please, Dan?"

The part of his brain that was devoted only to anthropology understood instantly. The SGC was their community, the society in which they belonged, the safety net that provided comfort to vulnerable human beings. Having both grown up without such a thing, Jillian and Daniel valued the SGC more than most. She had seized immediately on the intrusions of the 'outsider' suddenly in their midst, rocking the boat, messing with their community. The need to protect her and make her world 'right' settled on him heavily.

He put his arm around her shoulders and turned her towards the door.

"Let's go home," he said.

(0)


	92. Chapter 92

**Still dealing with the events of Heroes. This begins when Daniel comes back from the rescue mission.**

**(0)**

Daniel managed to walk to the bed and sit on the edge. Looking like he had been dragged across broken glass, he took his glasses off with shaking hands and handed them to her without folding them – just held them out caught listlessly between two fingers, dangling in front of him as if he had forgotten what they were. There was so much trust and vulnerability in the gesture that it hurt. Jillian took them gently, folded them with a soft click and put them on the nightstand. She stepped forward and pushed his knees apart with one of hers so she could stand between his legs and untie the knot holding his bandana around his head. It dropped to the floor when she was done. She fluffed his hair, massaged her fingers into his scalp and down the rigid muscles of his neck.

Daniel was still staring straight in front of him, looking too long into the teeth of a storm and unable to look away. He was pale, his lips white at the corners with heart wrenching pain. He was in shock.

Jillian took the front of his tac-vest and pushed it back off his shoulders and down his arms. He should have left it in the Gate Room but no one seemed to have noticed that he had walked out still wearing it; not in all the chaos. She left him long enough to hang it carefully on the chair and then walk back to him. He was still wearinghis leg holster. It was empty and she had no idea where his Baretta had gone. She hoped he had left at least that in the Gate Room. Standing close she wrapped her arms as tightly as she could around his dense broad body, braced against the heavy weight of him. She brought his head to rest against her breast and began stroking his hair.

He resisted for a moment. His entire frame was taut with tension. Then he folded up like a house of cards tumbling over, wrapped his arms around her waist and began shaking.

Jillian fixed her eyes on an empty place on the grey concrete wall as hot tears choked her vision.

_Janet?_

That couldn't possibly be true, even if it was Daniel who had told her that and Daniel would never lie to her.

"Can't lose Jack," Daniel murmured suddenly. He sounded distant and far away but there was terror too – panicked and unreasonable – and something like a dark twist of anger.

"You won't, bǎobèi," she whispered back, stroking his hair in a long smooth continuous motion.

"Can't…can't lose," he paused, drew a tremulous breath, "Janet won't be there, won't be fixing….."

He was barely coherent but she understood. He'd have trusted Janet with Jack. He'd have been certain and at least calmer, waiting for news he knew would be good.

Now he didn't know. Jillian wasn't even sure who was working on Jack. She's seen Jack on the stretcher, unconscious and pale and far too still to really be Jack O'Neill.

"Bié dān xīn," she said, tears she could wipe away were starting to spill over her lashes. Her throat ached. Her eyes stung with grief and guilt.

Because it was horrible enough if they had really lost_ Janet, _and Jack was still in the infirmary with god-alone-knew-what-kind of injury, but _Daniel….._

She tried to stop thinking as a sob tore loose from her aching throat. _Daniel_ had been there, under fire, and could easily have been one of the bodies carried back on stretchers, waiting in the morgue. The reality of that cut her heart like razor wire.

_Daniel, Daniel…_

Lost in grief, he was still aware enough that she was losing it now too. His hands slipped up her back, over her shoulders and pulled her down into his lap. They folded up into each other, arms tight, faces buried. Jillian gave up and simply burst into tears, soaking his neck and his shirt.

The last time she had grieved this way it had been for him.

He tightened his arms around her and rocked them both. He pressed into her warmth, soft and strong, familiar and scented in jasmine and aloe while tears stung salty and hot and his chest burned. His thoughts caught on one single thought, in a constant replay loop.

She had died, instantly, in front of him.

He had done everything he could, CPR - no doubt broken her ribs the way he had broken Jillian's after the landslide, tried to breathe for her – all the while trying to keep Wells from bleeding to death until the medics finally arrived. There had been nothing anyone could have done.

She had died, instantly, in front of him.

Daniel had a suddenly longing for a tent with a fire and hand-woven rugs, loose robes and dry desert air. He wanted to run. He recognized the urge – the same need that had driven Jillian to the beach house when she had lost him.

And the same thing would happen. He'd just take his grief and anger with him, the way she had been unable to run from hers.

Instead he folded into Jillian and clung to her like a life preserver on a storm-tossed sea. He realized suddenly that it was the first time in his life he had ever grieved _with _someone. He had gotten used to being alone, to mourning alone while his soul hemorrhaged from the pain.

"Don't leave me," she said, suddenly, leaning back and looking into his eyes.

He blinked, trying to clear his blurred vision, finally had to wipe his wrist across his eyes. Had she sensed his thoughts or did it mean something else?

"I won't," he swore, meaning every bit of it.

He drew her head down to his shoulder, held it tight with his fingers scrunched in her hair. The words stuck in his throat and made the pain in his chest tighter but he needed to say them, needed to get them out.

He needed her to know how defenseless he felt right now.

"Don't leave me either?" he finally choked.

Jillian sobbed again and held him close. "Never," she said.

Impossible promises, impossible to keep. Daniel knew those promises were like water being held in cupped hands – impossible to hold onto. But they needed them now. It was a way of taking control of the future, trying to order their world.

If nothing else it was another way to say 'I love you.'

(0)


	93. Chapter 93

**Sometime just before Woolsey arrives. I know the show makes it look as if he arrives almost immediately but unless he was sitting in the parking lot waiting for a mission to investigate there had to be several hours of travel time between DC and Colorado Springs. Sam also looks as if she got some rest and had some time to pull herself together when she talks to Hammond.**

**I also would like to say that Heroes 1 and 2 is one of my favorite episodes. The performances are outstanding. I think Don Davis and Michael Shanks were especially brilliant. But there are just so many missing scenes! The emotional focus seems to be on Teal'c and Sam, leaving Daniel once again emotionally hung out to dry by his team.**

**My thanks again to my friend who is willing to let me drive her nuts putting all these phrases in pinyin for me. It was important to me to create someone for Daniel who could keep up with him at least a little linguistically and the opportunity to use Mandarin is a blessing.**

**(0)**

Jillian paused in the entrance of the isolation room. She hated this room. She had lost Daniel in this room. She had watched him losing his sanity in this room when his mind had been invaded by a dozen strangers. Nothing good ever happened in this room.

But when Jack O'Neill was recovering, he got a private room and this was the closest thing they had. Jack was still unconscious on the bed. His team was sitting vigil.

They looked they had been collectively dragged behind a deisel for miles.

Sam had her head down on her folded arm. The fingers of one hand were touching Jack's hand. Jillian couldn't see her face. Teal'c was gray-faced and tired, his brow drawn and his eyes shadowed. He had one hand on the back of Sam's neck. His thumb was brushing lightly back and forth at the soft slope where her neck melded into her shoulder. It was notable to Jillian only because she had never seen him do anything like that before…

At least not with anyone but her.

When she didn't come any further into the room Daniel got up and came to her.

"Is Sam asleep?" she whispered, concerned.

"Yeah," Daniel answered. He jammed his hands into his pockets as that could keep him on his feet. "She crashed two minutes after she sat down. She moves every time Teal'c lets go of her though, so," he paused and shrugged.

"Teal'c hasn't let go," Jillian finished.

Daniel nodded. He looked like hell. Jillian hadn't looked in a mirror lately but she'd been crying off and on for hours. She doubted she looked much better. She reached for his arm, slipped down to his wrist and pulled one hand out of the shelter of its pocket to hold on tight. He needed sleep and a decent meal but she doubted he would get either one.

"How is Jack?" she asked.

"He had internal bleeding, some cracked ribs that are going to take a while to heal and a concussion from hitting his head when he went down. We're not worried about that too much. That's just his head."

Jillian offered the smile she knew he wanted. His tone had been light but she knew how worried he was.

"He'll be fine_, àirén_," she said, "He's Jack O'Neill. Men follow him, women love him and fish fear him."

She was rewarded with a wan smile and a slight lifting of the shadows in his eyes.

"Xīwàng rú cǐ," he said.

"Dan," she began, "I need to go home for a while. I need to be alone. Do you understand? Nǐ tīngdǒng ma?"

"Of course," he said.

"Are you sure? I said I wouldn't leave you."

He squeezed her hand and another sad smile ghost across his pale lips.

"I think we both know that's not what we meant. Do you want me to take you?"

"No," she said, quickly, "You should be here."

"I did say I'd try to put you first, remember?"

"Not now you shouldn't and I don't want you to."

"Okay," he sighed heavily, "The keys to the jeep are in the dresser."

"No, I don't need the jeep. You know it makes me nervous to drive it anyway. Mal is going home to his wife for a while and he said he would drop me off. He said to give him about a half an hour," she looked up at him anxiously, "Nǐ shēntǐ hǎo ma? Nǐ è le ma? Nǐ kě le ma?"

"Wǒ hěnhǎo," but it sounded automatic to her, as if he wasn't really thinking about his own needs. "You should try to get some sleep if you can. You're sure you don't want me to go with you?"

"No, I want some time with no noise, no interruptions," she said, "I really just need to be alone."

Daniel gave her a wry smile. His own tendency was to find a dark place and crawl into it whenever pain threatened. "I'm the last one who could argue with you about that."

Jillian studied him anxiously. He was still in shock, just walking around in a kind of numb trance. He was focusing on Jack and he had his team with him, but when all this hit him it was going to strike with the force of a glacier breaking up and crashing into the sea.

She cast a glance at Teal'c and Sam again. They hadn't moved in the time she and Daniel had been talking, just the slow constant brush of Teal'c thumb on the back of Sam's neck.

"Take care of Sam, okay?" she asked anxiously, both for Sam's sake and to give him something to do, "It's ..difficult. You know how hard she tries not to be 'the girl' on your team"

He nodded. "We've got her," Daniel said, casting a look at Teal'c. "Do you want me to come home later after Jack wakes up?"

"No. I'll come back here when I'm ready. Is that all right?"

"Shì de," he answered, "Yílù píngān"

Jillian didn't answer. She didn't say good bye. They never said, good bye. Daniel cupped his hands around her face, cradled it in his palms and kissed her. It was full of simple, tender comfort and gratitude.

She gave him a single gentle hug and turned to go. She looked back once and he was still standing there, in the doorway, with his hands in his pockets. He didn't move or even smile when she turned back, though their eyes locked for a moment. Somehow she knew he would stand there and watch until he couldn't see her any more.

(0)

Jack opened his eyes and took in his surroundings with the swift reflexes of too much time in the field and too much military training. The isolation room and he hurt like the tail end of a black-out drunk… Oh this could _not_ be good.

He didn't even try to move. Then he realized he wouldn't have been able to even if he wanted to. He was trapped by three very warm bodies.

His team….

Sam had her head on his forearm, just below his shoulder. Her torso had the rest of his arm pinned. Her arm was across his chest, just above Daniel's. He shifted his eyes but all he could see was the ordered chaos of blond hair. Her face was pressed into his ribcage. He could feel the slow rise and fall of her breathing in the rhythm of sleep.

Jack's gaze slid to the other side to look at Daniel. His head and chest were mostly on the bed, up against Jack's hip. Daniel's head was pillowed on his other arm. His glasses were half knocked off his face. The mattress was sagging under the sleep-heavy weight of his upper body.

The slightest lift of Jack's head and he could see Teal'c. He wasn't entirely certain that Teal'c was sleeping, even though he knew the Jaffa often did now that his symbiote was gone. It might have just been a very deep state of mediation, though Jack had never seen Teal'c meditate with his head down. He'd really never seen Teal'c with his head down and his arms folded, just about crushing O'Neill's shin bone. The Jaffa's weight had the whole bottom of the bed tilted downhill.

He put his head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. He'd also never seen his entire team so wiped out they slept through someone or something moving right next to them. He was stealthy. But he wasn't that stealthy.

_Crap_, he thought, _I hope whatever it was, it was worth it._

He tried to move again and got a growl in response. Probably Teal'c. Jack grunted back. Carter lifted her head, blinked.

Jack got lost for a moment, watching the awareness come into those huge blue eyes, the joy the relief the eagerness the fear the regret the sadness…. More emotions than should ever be on one face at one time.

"Sir," she said and he wondered again how she always managed to pack so much into that single syllable.

_Danger, Jack O'Neill…. _He looked away quickly.

"Daniel," he hissed and got only a grunt and shift of weight in response.

Jack finally elbowed Daniel in shoulder.

"Get off," he said, which had no effect on Daniel at all.

He shoved at Daniel again, even though it caused a rather blinding flash of pain up his side. _Holy crap, where was that morphine drip thingy they usually gave him?_

Daniel forced his eyes open, took his glasses off to rub at his closed lids for a moment and then put his glasses back on. He didn't get up or move the arm draped over Jack's ribs.

Jack took the risk of trying to move his leg. It might as well have been trapped under a boulder.

"Teal'c," he hissed, "Yo! Get off."

Sam hadn't moved so much as a muscle but Jack couldn't bring himself to push her away. Not quite. Not yet.

Teal'c sat up like a jet being fired off the deck of a carrier, instantly alert.

"O'Neill," he said, in that voice that sounded like a lion purring.

"As flattered as I am that I make such a great pillow, could you all _please move!"_

They were off of him in the next instant, sitting up and staring at him as they came out of an exhaustion-dazed sleep.

"Actually," Daniel said, rubbing the back of his neck, "You're a little lumpy."

Jack studied Daniel while trying to keep his face carefully neutral. _Christ,_ the guy looked like day four of a three-day pass; or like he'd just had two beers, take your pick.

For some reason, looking into Daniel's heavy, blood shot haunted eyes, it all came back to him in a rush.

SG13's recon had gone as FUBAR as if got and they'd gone in under heavy fire, vests stuffed with that ceramic crap the scientists had engineered. He'd felt like a damned science experiment. It was heavy and interfered with the way he usually moved and was probably the reason he'd taken the blast he'd been trying to avoid full front instead.

It was also probably why he had survived it.

He looked at Sam again and knew she had watched him remember; knew she had thought she was watching him go down for the final time, down for good, down forever. He lifted one hand and stroked it once down the side of her head.

"It's okay," he said.

Tears washed into her eyes.

"No," she said, "It's not."

Jack's warning bells rang like a carillon.

"What?" he said, trying to sit up, trying to lift his head.

Sam was fighting tears and he knew her throat was too constricted to speak. Jack looked at Daniel and found him suddenly stone-faced, emotion bricked up behind the wall he used to deal with tragedy he couldn't bear. Even as he watched Daniel sat back, folded his arms across his chest and pulled up the drawbridge.

Teal'c finally answered. "Janet Fraiser was mortally wounded in the line of duty. She did not survive."

The shock wore off quickly, replaced by a deep burning rage. The medics should be off limits. The docs were sacred; at least on paper. "_Members of the armed forces specially trained for employment, should the need arise, as hospital orderlies, nurses or auxiliary stretcher-bearers, in the search for or the collection, transport or treatment of the wounded and sick shall likewise be respected and protected if they are carrying out these duties at the time when they come into contact with the enemy or fall into his hands."_

Firing on a medic was a war crime.

Reality was a different matter and the damned Goa'uld hadn't been at the Geneva Convention.

Then a second realization hit Jack like an air strike. Daniel had gone with Janet to assist.

Jack dropped his head back onto the pillow and let a long slow string of curses run through his mind.

_Jesus, Daniel…. _ He wasn't just behind a wall. He was behind the Great Wall, probably being protected by dragons. Jack knew he would have to deal with it sooner or later but he couldn't right now. He was still burning with his own rage, concentrating on keeping his expression calm for the sake of his team.

Carter was sitting utterly still with tears streaking slowly down her face, not making a sound.

Teal'c had also not moved, more stone-faced than Daniel. Jack struggled against the pain to sit up.

"One of you find a doc to sign me out of here," he growled.

"Jack." "Sir." "O'Neill." Simultaneously.

"Do it or I'll go AMA," he snapped.

Daniel got up. Without a word he turned on his heel and walked out of the room. Jack was startled. He had expected Carter to obey first. He sank down again and stared at the ceiling, fighting a wave of pain induced nausea. Someone better sign him out of the infirmary and hand him a bottle of vicodin in the next ten minutes or so help him there was going to be hell to pay…

_Damn it….. _he thought, grinding his teeth together and reaching once more to touch the side of Carter's tear-streaked face, _You don't shoot the goddamned medics…._

(0)

Àirén - sweetheart

xīwàng rú cǐ – I hope you are right.

nǐ shēntǐ hǎo ma – Are you okay? (This is literally 'your body good' with a questioning inflection. I think I can speak for all of us when I say his body is _very_ good….)

nǐ è le ma – are you hungry?

nǐ kě le ma – are you thirsty?

wǒ hěnhǎo – I am fine

"Shì de – yes

yílù píngān – travel safely, literally 'peace (the) whole way'


	94. Chapter 94

The caller ID on her cell phone said Teal'c. She answered it hesitantly.

"Teal'c?"

"You need to return to the SGC, Jillian North," he said without any preamble.

Jillian's stomach did a slow flip.

"Why? Is Daniel all right?"

"Physically he is well," Teal'c answered.

"Jack?"

"Awake and also well. Do you need me to come and get you?"

"No, I can drive myself. Teal'c, what's going on?"

"Daniel Jackson needs you."

Jillian took the phone away from her ear, held it against her shoulder for a moment and counted to ten in Greek. When she got to deca she put the phone back to her ear.

"Teal'c," she said, slowly, "Has anyone ever told you that the phone is just not your medium?"

"Indeed. Will you be long?"

"Teal'c, tell me what's going on? Do I have time to make him a sandwich and bring it with me or is the Base on self-destruct?"

There was a pause.

"The rescue of SG13 has come under the investigation of the NID. We are being interviewed."

Teal'c said the last word as if he had just tasted something entirely too unpleasant. This time Jillian's heart and stomach did a slow somersault.

"There is an NID investigator _and_ a documentary crew there?"

"Yes."

"Kinsey?"

"I have not seen him recently, but I do not believe he has left entirely."

Jillian closed her eyes. Wow. That was a virtual hat trick of misery for Daniel.

"I'll be right there," Jillian said.

She hung up, knowing Teal'c wouldn't care that she hadn't said good bye. She made one detour into the bedroom, into the walk-in closet to get two garment bags out of the corner in the back. Then she ran for her shoes and her keys whispering out loud,

"Please, Daniel, don't strangle someone or get yourself thrown off the Base before I get there."

(0)

The moment she saw Jack coming towards her two things went through her mind – one was the relief that he was up and walking around. The other was that he was hunting Daniel too.

"You looking for him?" he asked.

Jillian nodded but took a moment to reach up and hug him.

"You scared the hell out of us," she said, holding the hug for a moment longer than necessary. She was _that_ relieved to see him. "Try not to do that again okay? We all prefer to live in the blissful belief that you're indestructible."

"Yes, ma'am," Jack answered sardonically.

Jillian let go and looked at him hopefully.

"You know where he is?" she asked.

"He's in the isolation room," Jack told her, "I was on my way to see if I could drag him out. You want the job instead?"

Jillian nodded again.

"I think I can be more persuasive. I suspect your method involved grabbing a handful of his shirt and literally dragging?"

"Scruff of his neck if I had to," Jack admitted. "But Carter wants me to go with her to go with her to pick up Cassie. So if you'll take this, it will be one less thing for me to worry about."

"It's all right," Jillian said, with a sad smile and slight lift of her shoulder, "I need him too."

"That'll be good for him," Jack said. He touched his forehead with two raised fingers in a near salute, turned and walked off in the direction of the elevators. Jillian made her way to the isolation room.

He was standing in the dark, leaning back against the bed, ankles crossed and arms folded, eyes looking at the concrete floor without seeing.

"Daniel?"

He looked up and she realized he really hadn't heard her approach.

"I was going to head home in a little bit," he said, straightening a little.

She walked into the room, stepped cautiously closer to him.

"Teal'c called me," she said and it was the only explanation she offered him.

"Ah," Daniel said.

She didn't ask him if he was all right. It was quite obvious that he wasn't.

"I hate this room," she said, voicing her earlier thoughts, sharing them with him, "Nothing good ever happens in here."

"Jack woke up in here a little while ago," he pointed out.

She smiled a little in surrender but refused to entirely concede the point, "Let's just say nothing good ever happens to you in here."

Daniel looked at her finally – really looked at her. Her eyes didn't seem as haunted as they had before but he had a painful suspicion that he was the reason for some of the current fear and sadness.

"You're in here with me," he countered.

His reward was the tiny smile that fought through the sadness.

"Could I hold you then?" she asked.

The request startled him. Jillian had never asked before offering him any kind of embrace.

He straightened up a little more and held out his arms, closed them around her when she got close enough. Tears stung his eyes a little when her arms slipped under his jacket and carefully circled his waist. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

Was he that brittle?

Then he realized that, yes, he really was. He leaned back against the bed again, spread his feet and pulled her closer. His chin came down her shoulder, his face pressed into her neck, behind her ear, into her hair. The chill in his soul thawed to bleakness.

"I can't live without you," he said, "and I've tried so hard never to say that to you because I know you had to live without me and you did it and you survived it and all I can think is that you must be stronger than I am because I couldn't do it. I couldn't live without you and any day could be that day, any moment could be the one that takes you away from me. I think about losing you and I. Can't. _Breathe._"

Jillian leaned back, turned her head, caught his jaw in her hand and made him look at her.

"Stop," she begged, "I couldn't live without you. I didn't _live_ without you. I kept going because I believed that was what you would want me to do. But what I was doing wasn't really living. It was existing. It was moving, every day, around this great gaping _hole_ where you used to be. I avoided by it by day and fell straight into it at night. Before… Before you died I never thought about how each time we made love could be the last time, or the last time I looked into your eyes and was so very much in love with you that it was my whole world. Afterwards, those moments were all I could think about."

Jillian had to stop for a moment, resting her head on his shoulder again. His jacket grew tear-damp. He tipped her chin up to kiss her lightly. Forehead to forehead she let all the words she had kept in her heart come pouring out. Everything she hadn't wanted to say because she didn't want to hurt him burst forth.

"Don't think I'm stronger than you, Daniel. Losing you didn't make me strong. In spite of that stupid saying about whatever doesn't kill you making you stronger, losing you crippled me. Losing you brought me to my knees staring every day into a future I couldn't have. Oh, _god, _Daniel, don't….don't…._._"

Jillian flung her arms around his neck and burst into tears. She was aware of it when he stood up straight, curving his body over hers, tightening his arms and she could hear his voice in her ear murmuring in a soothing monotone but she was crying too hard now to make out what he was saying.

Daniel rocked her and held her so hard he was worried it would bruise. There was nothing he could do at the moment. Fresh grief had opened up an old scar and made it bleed again. The best he could hope was to comfort her and get her through the next few days of memorials and funerals and grief for the loss of a friend they had loved and valued.

After that, in the light of death and privacy invaded and government idiots with their own hidden agendas, he and Jillian were going to have a serious talk about whether or not to continue in their present profession.

(0)

Jillian had two little black dresses. She had the flirty V-neck satin one with the chiffon overlay that she wore when Daniel took her out dancing. But she also had another one that only came out of the closet for funerals. It was simple, as basic as a dress could possibly be, conservatively scoop necked, and she usually paired it with a gray blazer.

It was an outfit she kept in an opaque plastic bag, hanging in the back of the closet. It was one she hated getting out. It existed for one purpose and one purpose only – to mourn.

She'd made Daniel buy two black suits for the same reason. His funeral suit had been in the second garment bag she had brought from home. He was dressed in it now, rummaging around in his third dresser drawer and getting agitated.

"I can't find my tie," he said, slamming the door and turning around.

In spite of the circumstances, he was so blindingly handsome she couldn't breathe for a moment. It took her a moment but she got her voice working.

"I'm sure it's fine. You look wonderful," she said.

Daniel's gaze swept her. The dress hugged her. The blazer made it too business-like for his taste but it was required for the occasion. She had her hair in a sleek ponytail, a simple gold chain around her neck, black shoes and stockings.

She was so lovely it broke his heart. She was pale, but calm. The judicious application of some makeup had helped hide the traces of the tears that had been shed the last two days.

"Are you ready then?" he asked.

"I guess we have to be," she said.

They met Cassie and Sam at the intersection just before the elevators. One look at Cassie and Jillian exchanged an alarmed glance with Sam.

Cassie looked lost, shipwrecked and adrift. Sam had talked to her on the phone and kept her close ever since she and Jack had brought her back to the Base. It seemed that Cassie had been going through the motions. The reality that her mother was really gone was sinking in, right now, during the walk to the Gate Room.

Daniel stepped in close to Cassie as they waited for the elevator, flanking her with Sam on her other side. The doors opened and before anyone could go inside Cassie broke down.

A desperate whimper turned into a choked sob as she turned and melted into Sam.

"I can't," she wept, "Sam I can't."

Cassie was clinging to Sam and shaking as if buffeted by hurricane winds. Daniel closed ranks behind her, his hands on her shoulders, his expression grim.

"Please, please, Sam, I can't."

"It's okay, Cassie," Daniel said, "You don't have to."

Sam gave Daniel a panicked look, eyes wide.

"She doesn't," Daniel said firmly. "This is for the military. This is for the SCG, not family unless they want to be there and she doesn't."

Cassie managed to look up at Sam, pale and trembling, her expression a heart break of uncertainty.

Jillian put her hand on Cassie's arm.

"I'll take her back to our quarters," she said, "Come on, Cass."

"Are you sure?" Sam seemed torn between guilt and gratitude, "I have to be there, I don't have a choice."

"I can take her," Daniel said.

"No, Daniel, you should be there," Jillian said. She gave him a very pointed, understanding look, "You want to be there. I'll take her."

Daniel stepped back and let Jillian ease Cassie out of Sam's arms. The elevator doors slipped shut again.

"It's all right, honey," Sam said, "Go with Jillian."

As she became aware that no one was forcing her to attend the memorial, Cassie gulped back tears and turned to lean heavily on Jillian.

"I'm sorry," she said, starting to sob again.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," Sam said.

Sam and Daniel watched Jillian walk back down the hall with an arm around Cassie. Cassie was clinging to Jillian as if she was going to fall.

"Are you all right?" Daniel asked, quietly.

"No," she answered, bluntly, "I'm not and nothing has been right. But we have to go do this."

Daniel nodded. They had to do it and he actually wanted to. This was for Janet – the final honor given by the military tradition she had loved. It would hurt but he would do it.

There were no holidays under the mountain. There were no weekends, or off-times. Anything could happen at any moment. The Goa'uld wouldn't grant them a cease-fire so that they could mourn.

But they would do this now, seize the time they had and give a proper goodbye to a beloved human soul.

(0)


	95. Chapter 95

A commercial jet traveling through the night with nothing outside the small rectangular windows was a singularly isolated world. The lights were dimmed in first class. They were flying back home at the end of a long and difficult day. Carter was curled up in the window seat with her back to him and her head on a small pillow propped against the wall. She had fallen asleep almost as soon as their meal had been cleared. The arm of the seat served as a sharp dividing line between them. Jack had asked for a blanket. She'd moved and made a small noise when he covered her with it, but then had fallen back to sleep immediately.

Across the aisle, Daniel had also claimed the window seat. He was wearing a pair of headphones that practically shouted 'Do Not Disturb' and staring out the window. Jillian was also curled up asleep, just like Sam. But they had pushed the seat arm out of the way so she could lie across Daniel's lap, cushioned on his arm and a similar tiny pillow. Jack had heard her murmur something about being cold. Instead of asking a flight attendant for a blanket Daniel had shrugged out of his black suit jack and put it over her, covering her leg as she folded them onto the seat and tipped over to rest on him.

Jack had watched from the corner of his eye as Daniel tucked his coat in around her in a surrogate embrace, knowing it was still warm and hearing Jillian's quiet sigh.

It was a private moment shared in a sheltered space. It was the outward display of inward intimacy. Even staring out the window and avoiding everyone else Daniel had his hand on Jillian, cupped over the shape of her arm through the fabric of his suit coat. He had allowed her in his body space, something Daniel never did when he was closed up behind the walls of 'Fort Jackson'.

Jack felt a moment of jealousy that shocked him. He had forgotten that kind of intimacy; or trained himself to live without it. He tried to find a more comfortable position in the chair and deliberately didn't look at Carter, deliberately didn't wonder what it would be like to replace the blanket with his uniform jacket and rest his hand on her arm.

There was no point in wondering. For one thing he had surrendered his jacket to the flight attendant and it was hanging in a closet now, waiting to be reclaimed when they landed. It was hanging beside Carter's. Maybe that would have to be enough.

His body still ached from the hit he'd taken on P3X-666. He'd skipped the vicodin for this trip, wanting a clear head. He could usually deal with pain. He'd been dealing with it on one level or another for decades. He knew all its sizes and shapes.

He fixed his eyes on the wall in front of him and struggled with the need to check on Carter. She was sitting right next to him. If she had so much as exhaled too deeply he would know.

Knowing it would hurt, he scooted up and turned just enough to look behind him at Cassie and Teal'c. Their seats were reclined as far as they would go. Teal'c had his hat down over his eyes. Cassie was asleep with a frown on her face and her arms folded tight over her waist. He felt a pang of sympathy as he turned back around and sought a new comfortable position. The day had been long enough for battle trained and tested military personnel.

For an eighteen year old who had lost her mom, it had been grueling. It had started at 4am when they had woken up, dressed, eaten (as much as they didn't want to) and then met the government limo in the parking lot that would take them to the Funeral Home. From there they had followed the hearse for the two hour drive to the Denver Airport so that Janet's body could be flown to Washington DC and interred at Arlington National Cemetery. SG1 was accompanying her. Knowing the kind of military structure and discipline he and Carter would be called upon to exhibit and Teal'c natural somber reticence and Daniel's continued self-imposed emotional exile, Jack had asked Jillian to join them, to be there for Cassie. Jack knew Hammond had wanted to go but the NID was still breathing down his neck and the documentary team hadn't left.

The two hour drive had been followed by a four hour flight. By then O'Neill had been more than ready to sink into the wide seats of first class, with a silent thank you to Hammond for the extra expense.

The flight was on time, landing at 2pm DC time. Two hours after that they had arrived at Arlington to find Janet's family waiting for them and Jack had watched as her civilian life and her military came together in a clash of grief and support.

Cassie had left Jillian and gone straight to the arms of her grandmother – a petite Southern belle with the look of the steel magnolia in her dry eyes and iron jaw. It had been easy to see where Janet got her looks and her charm. It had been easy to look into the face of the older woman and see the senior citizen Janet would never get to be. He had gone to offer his condolences and their eyes had locked. Deep brown and too much like Janet's, she had looked back at him with the same haunted, contained sorrow he had seen in the eyes of too many military widows and widowers, too many mothers who had lost their children in the service of their country. She was coming out to Colorado Springs at the end of the week to help Cassie close up the house.

It had taken every bit of his military discipline to get through the brief and sincere conversation with her. No one should have to bury a child.

No one.

After that the family had seemed to close ranks. A host of aunts and uncles and cousins had arrived. The service had gone off with military precision and ceremony. Sam had repeated her speech. Jillian had sung Amazing Grace to a bagpipe accompaniment.

Daniel had thawed long enough to be his normal charming, sympathetic self to Janet's family. He had read a poem by the famous World War II pilot John Gillespie McGee.

It had started all the tears flowing fresh and full of pain. He didn't dare look at Carter, who had been standing with ramrod attention at his side. He knew she was barely maintaining her control.

When Jack thought about it he realized Daniel had never even glanced at the paper in front of him. He knew Daniel had read the poem on the plane. He must have memorized it, that fast.

After seven years, he really should be over getting caught off guard by Daniel's genius.

Jack closed his eyes and heard the echo of Daniel's rich cadence in the hot, sticky August afternoon.

_Oh! I have slipped the surly bonds of earth_

_And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings;_

_Sunward I've climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth_

_Of sun-split clouds - and done a hundred things_

_You have not dreamed of - wheeled and soared and swung_

_High in the sunlit silence. Hovering there,_

_I've chased the shouting wind along, and flung_

_My eager craft through the footless halls of air._

_Up, up the long, delirious burning blue_

_I've topped the windswept heights with easy grace_

_Where never lark, or even eagle flew._

_And, while with silent, lifting mind I've trod_

_The high untrespassed sanctity of space,_

_Put out my hand, and touched the face of God._

(0)


	96. Chapter 96

**This is the beginning of a separate adventure for Daniel, Jillian, her father and SG8, before the events of Resurrection and Lost City. It starts several weeks after Janet's funeral in the previous chapter. (I love Resurrection but I've never written Jillian into it. If anyone has suggestions of what she might do, I would love to hear them)**

**(0)**

As Jillian stepped through the Gate alone she could hear the last of the unscheduled of world activation signal fading to silence. When she got to the bottom of the ramp General Hammond was there to meet her.

"Dr. North," he said, with a brief head nod as additional greeting.

"General," she answered, "The situation on 822 is becoming more critical. I'm afraid the talks have broken down entirely. Colonel Mallory sent me back to see if I can bring my father."

"Ambassador North is still on 2016 finishing up those negotiations," Hammond reminded her.

"Yes, sir," Jillian answered, "But with all respect the chance to thoroughly examine the Temple there has waited this long, it can wait a little longer. P9X-822 is about to melt down. There's going to be hostilities and our mining operation is going to be in the middle of it. I feel strongly that my father is our best chance to prevent that from happening."

"All right," Hammond said, "I'll have him recalled immediately. You can brief us in full when he arrives."

"Thank you," Jillian said, "I'd also like to take Daniel. There are centuries of religious text that need to be gone through. It's possible some kind of loop hole can be found. With SG1 still on stand down, I was hoping you could assign him temporarily to SG8."

As if she had conjured him, Daniel appeared in the wide doorway of the Gate Room. He was dressed in a white ribbed tank top, light gray sweatpants and his running shoes. He had either been in the gym or on his way there. He crossed to her quickly but didn't touch or offer her any form of physical greeting. There was a certain decorum demanded by Hammond's presence, even if they had been apart for a week.

"Hey," he said, jamming his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her. "Everything all right? You weren't due back for another couple of days."

"Not really," she said, keeping her tone mild.

"We'll all find out at the briefing. Dr. Jackson can join us there," Hammond said, "I'll go have Walter recall your father."

Hammond turned and left them. Daniel hovered, rocking on his heels. His eyes were intense.

"How did you know I was back?" she asked, as they started out the door into the hall.

Daniel shrugged. "I always check the unscheduled activations when you're off world. This time it _was_ you."

"You check? You come down here?"

"No, Sam showed me how to get into the security feed."

Daniel caught her smiling a little when he gave her a sidelong glance. But it was a tight smile and her eyes were creased at the corners.

They stopped in front of the elevator doors. Daniel felt the energy between them change. Jillian's hand slipped around his suddenly and squeezed so tightly her nails dug into his palm.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

She looked at him sideways and spoke in a very low voice, in the almost impossible and specific cadence of Mandarin, "Wǒ xiǎng zuò ài. Lìjí. Xiànzài. Qǐng. Wǒ xūyào nǐ. "

Her eyes were fierce when she looked up at him, smoky, hot and haunted. Any professionalism she had been holding onto while speaking with Hammond was now gone.

Daniel swallowed against a slow rush of adrenaline as the doors opened. He wanted her too. He was ravenous for her. But this hot rush wasn't what he had been anticipating. He had wanted slow. The kind of slow that was a long, sweet, tender, erotic build up; that began with soft, wet kisses and voices murmuring phrases of love and ended with them fused together, melting into each other and crying out each other's names hours later.

From the look in her eyes, that kind of slow would torture Jillian right now.

She'd been more emotionally vulnerable since Janet's death. Daniel knew she had been helping Sam with Cassie, who was getting ready to move to California to attend UCLA. He knew all this had brought up too many memories that Jillian usually kept hidden – of losing her mother and being sent off to a school far away from everything she knew.

Now it seemed something had happened on top of that.

They got into the elevator and the doors slid closed behind them and Daniel damned the surveillance camera staring at them from the corner. Jillian didn't seem to care. The next thing he knew she had him up against the wall, her hands fisting his t-shirt, her head tilted up for the kiss he wanted to give her.

He wanted to push her away, protect her from whatever eyes would see this. At the same time he wanted to pull her closer. She had long ago fulfilled his uniquely male fantasy of pushing him against a wall and going down on him; several times over the course of their relationship in fact. The first time had been in the safety of her hallway in the days when they had been living back and forth between condos. It didn't mean he still wouldn't love that, crave that. She was certainly acting like she'd do it again right now if he so much as hinted he wanted it.

There was no way that was happening in the elevator.

He turned them around, reversed their positions so that she was against the wall and his back was to the cameras, blocking her from it. He pressed against her, kissing and kissing, helpless to stop. He dragged her close, pushing into her arms – the softness of her lips under his, the scent of her familiar and mixed with the fragrance of an alien world.

_I want to do this to your body,_ the kiss said, tongues stroking, licking, teasing, and Jillian's groan said yes. When they stopped and he looked into her eyes again they were desperate with arousal. He caught her face between his hands, stroked her cheekbones with both thumbs. His hands were shaking and he was pressing his throbbing groin against her hip.

"We have to wait," he said.

Kissing in the elevator was one thing. The whole Base knew they were in love and hadn't seen each other in a week.

Anything else would get this section of security tape added to someone's porn collection and _that_ wasn't going to work for him at all.

"Wǒ xūyào nǐ, bǎobèi," she whispered." Duō xiǎng nǐ yā."

Daniel swallowed again. There was no sound being captured by the cameras, no reason to use an obscure language that hardly anyone on the Base spoke. But she was still using it deliberately to communicate with him in more than words. Mandarin was a language of subtle tonalities, full of nuances. The phrases she had just used were intimate, the ones that were only said when they were meant sincerely. He stroked her hair and watched the elevator indicator light up their floor. The door slid opened.

"Wǒ zhīdào," he said, soothing. "Děng yīxià"

He understood. He had missed her too, so much. So much he had hurt inside and his chest felt like a steel band had been twisted around it for days.

She clung to his hand as they walked to their room. In the time it took him to close and lock the door she had her boots unlaced and was pushing them off.

He hauled her into his arms again as she was pulling her navy blue shirt over her head and got them lost in another soul-searing kiss for a moment. She moaned and writhed and, _oh god,_ that was so sweet but at the same time….

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked again.

"Not now," she said. Her expression was dark and aroused and full of love. She looked helpless for a brief moment and then her eyes narrowed and she said, fiercely, "Cāo wǒ, Bǎobèi."

Daniel's entire body got hard. Whatever was wrong, she wanted this first and it was impossible to deny her when she was looking at him like that – helplessly in love and craving him.

The next few moments were a blur of hands and clothing. She had tilted her head back so far at one point that she was facing the ceiling while he stripped her. The pulse in her throat came under his mouth and he kissed, nibbled, licked and finally sucked hard. It would leave a visible mark but he didn't care; especially not when her response was so vibrant, a soft moan of delight, her fingers in her hair holding him in place.

He sensed that she wanted to be under him but he had a different idea. He wasn't sure who started for the bed first but they arrived together. She caught him with one hand around his neck and dragged him down but he twisted out of it and took control.

His brain was shutting down as his body focused on the shock of skin against skin. But he remained cognizant enough to haul their dry-clean-only quilt out of the way so that they hit clean sheets and pillows.

Daniel moved her onto her side, moved her slender, supple body into a curl and spooned up behind her. This way he could hold her afterwards without having to move, without even having to pull out if she didn't want him to. His arm locked under her knee and pressed it up high, holding her open as he brought them together in one quick, assured moment of ultimate intimacy.

Jillian groaned, clutched at his arms with tight hands and pushed down onto him, settling her hips against his.

"Oh, _god,_ Daniel," she gasped, "Yeah, yeah. There, baby. Right _there_."

Daniel moved in a fluid flex of his spine and hips, pushing his lower body upward. His arm wrapped around her leg and his elbow against her hip held her steady, kept her where he wanted her so he would hit the same places with each passionate thrust in a rhythm that was steady and intensely focused.

He had wanted long, lazy, quiet-rainy-evening sex. The kind that could go on for hours with him spooned up behind her, murmuring in her ear and using his fingers to keep her on the brink as long as he wanted.

But this was what she wanted – strong, muscled, targeted to make her feel deeply filled and deeply wanted - and his body responded to it.

Earthy, primal and urgent, a steady surge of increasing penetration.

"Daniel, _Daniel,"_ she said. "Yes, please, god, harder. _Harder."_

He had wanted to wait, to bring her to the edge of ecstasy, watch her tumble over and then start again later. But his body was coming alive inside hers, flooding with heat as the slick friction radiated from his groin, up his backbone and out into his limbs.

She reached for his hip. Her arm was straight and locked as her fingers dug into his skin, pressing.

"More," she panted, "Harder…harder, Dan….oh god, _yeah."_

He made the strokes shorter, hitting _that_ spot that made her cry out and clutch at him every time. He moved harder and faster until his arms were the only thing keeping her from being jolted off the bed and each thrust lanced them with blinding pleasure.

Then she cried out, _"Dan…Dan…"_ and he knew she was close. He doubled his speed and drove her over the edge. Jillian twisted her head, buried her face against his forearm, sobbed incoherently and wrenched into climax.

Her body rippled into contractions, an intense, tight, hot, wet internal stroking of his cock. Daniel sank tight against her, rammed home, and stayed there, riding it, letting it pull him into ecstasy until he was coming into her, flooding her. It happened without warning. He seemed to come forever into her body in an ancient dance of convulsion and ejaculation. Then he collapsed against her, panting, with Jillian trembling and shuddering all up against him. Chills rose on her heated skin as if he was filling every bit of her.

He felt her starting to go limp in his arms, crying raggedly as she helplessly absorbed the last strong pulses of his climax.

Daniel collapsed, eased her leg down to rest against his. Then he gathered her into his arms, tucked her head under his chin and stayed that way. They lay there for a long time in a state of sated exhaustion, uninterested in the rest of the world. He kissed and nuzzled and cradled her in the afterglow, lavishing exhausted love and affection. There was a tender poignancy to it. Jillian had melted under him and was lying silent and trembling. He tried to soak in the feel of Jillian, half-under him, surrounded by him, joined to him. He wanted the memory burned into his skin forever.

Daniel stayed half-hard so he didn't try to pull out. He left them connected, as if they had just heated and merged so closely together they had created a new element.

He knew Jillian was drifting in and out of sleep. He could feel it when the steady rise and fall of her breathing would suddenly hitch and she would jump and tense again. She'd cling to him for a heartbeat and then relax again.

"You're frightened," he whispered against the back of her head after one such sudden movement. "You only get like this when something has you frightened or upset. Needing it hard that way, crying like that when we've finished."

She inhaled as if to speak but stopped. He cradled her tighter. His arms over hers, legs tangled up with hers, body pressing her slightly forward into the mattress, reassuring male muscle and weight holding her down, sheltering her.

"You might as well tell me," he kept his voice a low, soft monotone, unthreatening but steady, "You know I won't let up until you do."

Jillian held very still against him. He could feel her heartbeat pounding against his chest.

"Eight twenty two is a powder keg, Daniel," she said finally, "This issue is religious and both sides are fanatical enough for this to go very bad, very violent."

She stopped again. He nuzzled her hair comfortingly.

"Well, we're going to go fix that," he said.

"That's what scares me," she whispered.

_All right_, Daniel thought, _now we're getting somewhere_. He entwined his fingers in hers.

"Why?"

"Almost everyone I love is going to be in the middle of this – you, Dad, Mal, Scotty, Rusty. I mean, let's just gather up Sam and Teal'c and Jack and make it everyone."

Daniel frowned even as he gathered her even closer and squeezed her hand. He had heard her specifically request the presence of her father and him.

"You asked for us to be there," he said, slowly, not wanting it to sound like a confrontation. It was his '_just asking for clarification'_ voice.

"Professionally, I had to," she sighed, "There really aren't two better people that I can think of, who can handle this. It doesn't mean I like it."

Jillian moved a little, shifting from under his weight and changing the subject.

"Baby, I love this and I love you and I love when we fall asleep like this. But right now I need you to pull out, okay?"

He acquiesced, moving slowly, wincing a little when his still sensitive cock brushed against her and hit the cool air. He was concerned by her request and half expected her to get out of bed. But she rolled over to face him, pressed against this chest and asked wordlessly to be held.

If that was all she had wanted he was fine with it. He reached for the sheet and covered them. Then he pulled all the long, slender curves of her close to him and stroked her hair for a while.

"Are you having second thoughts about our decision to stay with the SGC?" he asked.

"No." That was certain, definitive. He let it go. They'd had this talk over an intimate dinner at their house with candlelight and wine and soft music on the stereo.

She had seemed shocked when he brought it up.

"Is that what we want Janet's death to mean? That we surrendered? Quit? Let them win?"

"Don't you remember how it felt to lose me?" he'd countered, "What we said to each other in the isolation room?"

"I'd lose you just as certainly out there," she'd said, making a gesture towards to the front of the house and the world beyond, "I'd lose who you _are_."

She'd leaned forward and gazed at him intently. "What do you want to do then? Teach? Limit yourself to a classroom and linguistics or anthropology?"

He'd winced internally at that but she was right. The world of earth-bound archaeology would never work for him again. Besides, even archaeology would take them into some of the least stable and most dangerous parts of the earth. It was possible they would be little safer from losing each other if they stayed on Earth than they were out there in a struggle against the Goa'uld. Academia had never been all ivory-towers and libraries, for either of them. They had both interned in places where basic things like sanitation and a respect for life disappeared; places that made Goa'uld strongholds look like vacation destinations.

A group of bandits had nearly killed him and the entire archaeological team in Turkey. His fluency in Kurdish and quick, desperate thinking had stopped that when he'd negotiated a trade – their lives for food and medical supplies. A passageway had collapsed on him in the Valley of the Kings.

Jillian had nearly drowned when her equipment failed as she was diving Cleopatra's Palace in Alexandria. Two attempted rapes had been the impetus for achieving her black belt.

He'd leaned towards her with an intensity that bordered on anger.

"Do you understand that I would give up _everything_ for you? Everything?"

"Yes! But you have to understand that I would never ask you to do that!"

In her eyes he had seen a different kind of fear – the fear of what he would be willing to sacrifice for her.

In the end they had agreed to stay with the SGC, and to be more careful.

Using his chin he nudged her face up to his.

"I love you," he said, kissing her lightly. He didn't promise to keep them all safe. That's probably what she was afraid of – that he would carelessly throw himself in front of whatever danger threatened and get himself killed again.

"I know," she said.

He couldn't offer her any more comfort until he knew more about what was going on.

"It's okay," he said, "I'm here. I'll be with you. Try to get some sleep. Your Dad won't be able to just walk away from 2016. We've got some time. You can tell me everything in the briefing. "

He thought he might not be making any sense but she'd understand.

"I know," she said again. "We'll be together. We'll make it all right."

She offered him her mouth again and he kissed her long and slow and sweet until she fell asleep in his arms.

Daniel lay there dozing lightly and breathing with her. He was content to wait for the phone call that would summon them to the Briefing Room, where he would finally find out what was waiting for them on P9X-822.

(0)

Wǒ xiǎng zuò ài. Lìjí. Xiànzài. Qǐng. Wǒ xūyào nǐ. – I want to make love to you. Immediately. Now. Please. I need you.

Wǒ xūyào nǐ, bǎobèi – I need you baby

duō xiǎng nǐ yā – I missed you so much

Wǒ zhīdào. Děng yīxià – I know. Wait a moment.

Cāo wǒ, Bǎobèi – not translating this one. You can probably figure it out.


	97. Chapter 97

As she waited for them to get settled so that she could begin the briefing, Daniel couldn't help but be proud of her. There was no trace of the vulnerable woman who had been sleeping in his arms several hours ago. She was calm, controlled and meticulously prepared. There was a brand new mark on her throat, peeking out of her collar and disappearing under it. She'd made no attempt to cover it or get it to fade at all.

Daniel wasn't sure how to feel about that. He decided to go for pleased and possessive and not worry about it anymore than that.

Even if her father was in the room and had clearly seen the mark and seemed displeased.

_You gave her away,_ Daniel thought, then stopped himself. That wasn't fair. He hadn't been there. He knew what it was to grieve for a beloved wife. He had no right to judge the man.

Still, it was hard to be in the same room at times with the only other man in the galaxy who had some real claim to Jillian. He was anthropologist enough to recognize that it was something bred into the male blood and bone, this need to protect her.

"Dr. North," Hammond said, "I think we're ready to begin."

"Thank you, General," Jillian said. "For the benefit of my father, I'd like to give some background on P9X-822. We first made contact with them four years ago. At the time they were struggling against an unknown disease, which turned out to be a form of smallpox. A medical team was dispatched. The cure of the disease was a major factor in the treaty that we signed with both of the major cultures on this planet. It opened the way for us to begin mining trinium. The Badani have also showed us ways to refine it more accurately and to create an alloy."

Jillian stopped talking and swallowed. She looked at her feet for a moment and then up again, seeking Daniel. He anchored her with an unfaltering, clear blue gaze. Janet Fraiser had led that medical team. She'd been a major factor in securing the health of the population, as well as winning them over with Southern charm. If anything, they owed the treaty to her.

Jillian took a deep breath and went on. Behind her a slide show began. The first image was of a fairly advanced city with wide streets and artistic buildings.

"This is the main city of Badanaht. It's exclusively the home of the Badani – the worshippers of the goddess Dhat-Badan. She was the Arabian goddess of the oasis, water, trees. This," Jillian clicked the remote in her hand and a picture appeared of a stunning garden, "is the Sacred Grove of the Badani."

"Wow," Daniel said, unable to stop himself.

He had seen his share of oases in his life – quiet, peaceful, wonderful places. This one was a masterpiece of sculpted perfection, the equivalent of any carefully tended Japanese Garden, fit for an Emperor – or a goddess who didn't exist, Daniel thought.

"Yes," Jillian agreed, "It's stunning. The monks and priests have been tending and growing it for centuries. It is, as its name implies, utterly sacred to the Badani faith." She paused and then added a completely biased opinion to the briefing, "I'd put this garden as one of the eight wonders we've found in the galaxy."

She clicked again and the image changed to one of a tent city. There was nothing random about it. It was clearly the current setting for a nomadic people.

"These are the Kaabani," Jillian said, "The worshippers of Hubal. Compared to the city dwelling Badani they live a fairly primitive existence." She looked at her father, "It's a similar culture to the ones on 2016, Dad."

Alexander nodded.

"The tents are red and purple," Daniel said, "That can't be easy to accomplish without some kind of trade with the Badani."

Jillian nodded. "Until ten years ago, their relationship with the Badani people was guarded but mutually beneficial."

"What happened ten years ago?" Alexander asked.

"It's actually what happened thirty years ago," Jillian said. She turned off the slide show. "Thirty years ago the leader of the Kaabani died and his son became the new leader, as is their custom. This new leader was a religious fanatic and he pulled the entire culture into a place of religious extremism. The Kaabani have a sacred herd. Aarhim led a movement that proclaimed the mastaya must never be interfered with any way. They set the herd free and now they follow it, instead of the other way around. Twenty years ago they went on a killing rampage and destroyed the mastaya's only natural predator – a large cat that can now only be seen in art. Ten years ago the Badani began to raise protests about the herd. With the constant care and protection of the Kaabani and no natural predators the herd has grown to unreasonable proportions. There have been minor skirmishes over the issue, lives lost on both sides. Now the situation is escalating."

"Why?" Daniel asked.

"The herd had completely over grazed all its former grounds. It's beginning to migrate south and it's headed for the Sacred Grove. There's a river to the east of them that will keep them from going that way and a mountain range to the west. It's only a matter of time before they get to the Grove."

She paused again to look at each man in the room individually, making sure they understood the seriousness of the situation. They all three looked grim.

"What kind of animals are we talking about, Jillian? Goats, cows, what?" Alexander asked.

Jillian cued the projector again. All three men sat up straighter.

"That's a-a-a-," Daniel stammered." A mastodon."

"A mastodon," Jillian echoed, "I know. It's the first time we've really seen the animal they call a mastaya. The Kaabani guard the herd pretty fiercely and up until now we didn't really care. The animals themselves are a remarkable find. It would be interesting to discover if they are a native species or a transplant. The pictures of the predator that was wiped out resemble a saber tooth. But the immediate problem is the herd heading for the Sacred Grove, which they will utterly destroy and their migratory path sends them straight through our current mining operation, which they'll hit first. The Badani have been petitioning Colonel Mallory for weapons – the one thing we didn't include in the treaty."

"Their weapons technology stands are pre-automatic weapons if I recall correctly, doctor?" Hammond asked.

"That's correct, sir. Now they are asking for more firepower to cull this herd and try to turn it back into Kaabani territory.P90s specifically. The Kaabani of course are outraged and demanding weapons to defend themselves. All talks among them were on the verge of breaking down when I came back this morning. "

"I haven't heard any further word on the subject from Colonel Mallory," General Hammond said. He turned his deceptively mild gaze to Alexander North. "After hearing this, I'd certainly appreciate your help, Ambassador."

"I'd be happy to do what I can," he answered.

"Good. Is there anything else, Dr. North?"

"No, sir. This about covers it, except that you might want to consider assigning us a biologist or paleontologist to study this herd."

"I think that can wait until the situation is more stable," Hammond answered, "If that's all, I took the liberty of having gear packed and ready to go for all of you. Can you all be ready to leave in thirty minutes?"

Daniel glanced at Jillian and then answered for both of them.

"We're ready to go now, General."

"I am as well," Alexander said.

"Then you have a go," Hammond told them.

(0)


	98. Chapter 98

Daniel couldn't quite contain another quietly murmured "Wow" as the Gate snapped shut behind him. Jillian smiled a little.

"Yeah," she said, "It's a beautiful city."

The buildings were marbled white, shades of tan and blue and green. The streets were wide, white-paved and clean. Lighted poles had baskets of flowers. In fact there were flowers and trees and fountains everywhere. A clean running river ran through the city. Daniel could see a dock with people lined up waiting to enter boats that were going up and down the blue water. The people were dressed in an assortment of colors and styles, which Daniel found comforting. So often in strict religious societies there was a tendency to uniformity of dress.

The scene was so peaceful it was hard to see it as the powder keg Jillian had described.

Colonel Gerald Mallory was waiting to meet them. He had met Jillian's father previously, of course, and Mallory greeted him with an expression that was downright affectionate – for Mallory. There was a good reason Gerald Mallory's pilot call sign had been 'Rushmore' and no one would play poker with him.

"Where are Scotty and Rusty?" Jillian asked, anxiously.

"They're fine, Jill," Mal said, quickly. "But things went from bad to worse after you left."

He turned and the SGC personnel naturally fell into step with him, even Daniel. Mal went on,

"The talks completely fell apart almost as soon as you left. The Kaabani delegates walked out of the Ministry Hall and left the city. After that rioting broke out in the northern district, where some Kaabani have been living and going to school. I left Rusty and Scotty there to help them keep the peace."

"Was anyone hurt?" Daniel asked.

"Nothing they couldn't handle. They used water to control the crowd," Mal was using his best, unemotional military report voice but there was tension around his eyes. "There was some serious vandalism, windows broken, some fires were started but kept from spreading. Considering how pristine the Badani like to keep everything, this was huge. The First Minister ordered the Kaabani to leave. The saddled up and rode out not long after that, taking as many of their people as they could."

"Saddled?" Daniel asked.

"They're nomadic," Jillian reminded him. "They have an equine species that they ride. I think you'll find those as fascinating as the mastaya."

"Why?" Daniel asked, quickly.

Though her expression remained concerned, Jillian cast him an enigmatic smile. "You'll see."

The Hall of Ministry was an austere building in the center of the main square. It was made of a black-veined stone in a tan colored that bordered on a shade of gold. Trapped crystals, possibly some kind of quartz, made it glitter in the sun. They were forced to walk there. Mallory explained that motorized vehicles of any kind were forbidden in the city. They were a form of electric car made possible by wind energy.

"After we settle this mess, Ambassador," Mallory said, "It would great to negotiate for some of our engineers to get into their wind towers and see exactly what they're doing."

"Let's keep them from killing each other and us first," Alexander agreed, "Then I'll see what I can do."

"Good," Mal said, "We'll be meeting with their First Minister, a woman named Drea. This is a matriarchal society and is administered by the woman they believe to be the current incarnation of their goddess."

Daniel and Jillian exchanged a glance. 'Reincarnation' would certainly explain the need of a Goa'uld to take new hosts, to look different but still be their goddess. Daniel wished Teal'c had been available to ask about how this particular minor Arabian goddess had played out as a Goa'uld.

They were met at the top of the steps by a tall, older man with kinky black hair that was graying on the sides. His skin was dark brown. His eyes were also deep brown; slightly almond shaped with a tilt at the corners, and were surrounded by deep wrinkles.

"Dwar," Mallory said, nodding in greeting, "These are the people I sent for this morning. Dr. Alexander North. Dr. Daniel Jackson."

The tall man nodded to them, put one hand over his heart and bowed slightly. "I am Dwar, First Husband of our First Minister, the wise and honored Drea, may all her incarnations be blessed. She is waiting for you in the meeting room."

"Thank you, Dwar," Mallory said.

As they all fell into line with Dwar, Daniel leaned over and whispered to Jillian,

"_First_ husband?"

"She has five," Jillian told him.

"Don't get any ideas," Daniel said, immediately.

"Are you kidding?" she asked, "I can barely keep up with the one I plan to have."

Daniel ducked his head and gave her his very best sideways innocent look.

Jillian considered suggesting that their polygamy was also probably a holdover from needing multiple men to mate with to produce larvae with diverse DNA. But that would bring up too many painful memories for Daniel, so she let it go.

He'd probably figured it out himself anyway.

Drea was considerably younger than her first husband but not a young woman. Her features had the same characteristics that Daniel decided were a mix of earth's Arabian and Mongolian. He glanced at Jillian, who read his mind again and nodded.

The meeting room was hexagonal, with no windows, only a high ceiling with plates of glass that alternated from green to blue to clear. A statue of a woman – presumably the original goddess Dhat-Badan – dominated the front of the room. A u-shaped table faced the statue. With the exception of a tall, regal looking woman there was no one else in the room.

Dwar presented them to the First Minister with a long and flowery speech.

"Welcome," she said, "May all your incarnations be blessed."

"Yours as well, First Minister," Alexander said. "How can we help you?"

"I am no longer sure that anyone can help us, Ambassador, unless you can convince your government to supply us with weapons to defend against these beasts and the destruction they will bring to the Sacred Grove."

Daniel spoke up. "I know I just got here, First Minister, but it seems to me that killing any of the mastaya is just going to cause an escalation in violence."

Her expression was cold as she replied, "Do you doubt that any of us are willing to die in defense of the Sacred Grove Dr. Jackson?"

Daniel shook his head and kept his expression blank. Jillian listened to his beautiful, expressive voice flat line the way it always did when he was speaking a truth he found distasteful. "No, I don't have any doubt that you would. That's what we're hoping to prevent; and please call me Daniel."

Drea studied Daniel as if he was a new and somewhat confusing form of life. Jillian hadn't exhaled since Daniel had started talking and she knew her father was barely containing his exasperation. She watched as the First Minister made a thorough examination of Daniel. When her intense focus finally ended, Jillian thought Drea had made some decision about him.

Jillian just wasn't sure what that decision was.

Drea said, "Very well, Daniel. How would you like to proceed?"

Alexander took over, "I think we would very much like a tour of the Sacred Grove if that's possible. It's important for us to see exactly what's at stake."

"Are there any Kaabani left in the city?" Daniel asked.

"Not that I am aware," Drea said. Then she turned to Dwar. "Arrange a cart to take us to the Grove."

"Your word is my life," Dwar answered as he put his closed fist over his heart and bowed low.

"If it's all the same, First Minister," Daniel said, "I'd like to read through some of your sacred texts first."

"Can you read our language, Daniel?" Drea seemed genuinely surprised.

"Not yet," Daniel admitted, with a warm smile. "But give me a little while."

Drea gave him that same puzzled, fascinated look she'd used earlier. She clapped her hand and young boy came scurrying out of the shadows.

"This is Dhar," she said, then turned to the boy, "Take Dr. Jackson to the Archive."

"I'd like to go as well, First Minister," Jillian said.

Jillian and Daniel followed Dhar across the room and out a door tucked obscurely into the wall. Daniel put his hand on the boy's shoulder and said,

"So, Dhar, do you know how to read?"

"Oh yes," the boy said, happily, "We are all required to learn to read so that we may experience the Sacred Texts."

"Good," Daniel said, just as they vanished out the door, "Very good."

Gerald Mallory watched them with a guarded expression that didn't escape Jillian's father's notice.

"Is something wrong, Col?" he asked.

Mallory glanced at him. "Besides the fact that we just sent two thirty-something geniuses off on their own?" he paused and considered his next words carefully, "You don't know Dr. Jackson very well, do you Ambassador?"

Alexander North felt a small thrill of alarm. He knew his daughter adored the man; and he knew from reputation that Jackson was extremely good at what he did.

Other than that, no he really didn't know Daniel very well.

"Should I be worried?" Alexander asked.

Enigmatically, Mallory said, "Let's hope not."

(0)


	99. Chapter 99

Jillian tossed her pack on the table beside Daniel's and watched him standing at a lectern beside Dhar.

Dhar appeared to be about 8 or 9 in Earth years, tall and reed slender. He was wearing a saffron colored shirt over brown pants and sandals. Jillian wondered if Daniel had also seen how much the boy resembled Shifu and really hoped that he hadn't. She didn't like him to be reminded of the child that had been his late wife's but never could be his.

They came back to the table with a cloth bound book tied together with leather straps. It was shockingly thin for a Sacred Text.

"Do you want coffee?" she asked.

Daniel looked at her and she could tell he was suppressing a desire to nod eagerly. There was a certain anxiety in his expression as well.

"Do you have the camp stove?" He asked.

"Yes, but it will have to be instant coffee," she answered.

He continued to look conflicted.

"What?" she asked, "It's a yes or no question, Daniel."

He made a helpless gesture with his hands. "You're a triple Ph.D. You shouldn't be reduced to making coffee."

Her eyebrows went up. "It doesn't seem to bother you when I wake up before you and start the coffee, even though I don't drink it."

"That feels more domestic than this does. This feels like being out in the field," he said in an attempt at an explanation.

"It's not like we bring interns or research assistants with us," she shrugged, "I don't mind making you coffee, Daniel. I wouldn't have offered if I did. Besides if I heat water I can have tea."

He considered that. "Okay, then I would love some," he paused again then added, "You really are such a Brit sometimes you know that?"

She smiled a little as she dug into the pack for the camp stove.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes, why?"

Daniel shrugged. "You were pretty freaked out about coming here, then we get back and there was a riot, violence, an escalation of hostilities."

She put the stove on the table and reached for the canteen of water. Then she looked him directly in the eye.

"I am still pretty freaked out," she admitted, "and it is worse and I am still scared for all the people I love who are here. But I'm also doing my job so that gives me something to focus on; and you're here and that kind of makes me feel better."

"While scaring you at the same time," Daniel mused.

"Yeah," she said, "Exactly."

Daniel shook his head and turned his attention back to Dhar and the book.

"What I need you to do," he said, pulling over two chairs and holding one out for the boy, "Is find the most important sections of this text, about the Sacred Grove and read them to me."

"Is that all?" Dhar asked.

"Well, I also need to be able to see what you're reading and I'd really like it if you could point to the words as you're saying them," Daniel added, "And if you do that, Jillian will make you some hot chocolate."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" she asked.

"There's powdered milk and a candy bar in my pack," Daniel answered. "Melt them in some hot water."

"Clever man," she said, with a shake of her head.

"What is hot chocolate?" Dhar asked eagerly.

"It's a drink we give to really helpful little boys," Daniel answered.

Dhar had been flipping the first few pages of the book until he came to a page beside an illustration of a garden.

"You will really learn to read this way, Dr. Jackson?" he asked.

"Daniel," he said, automatically, "and I have in the past. So let's try it and see, okay?"

Jillian had said that she was working and that was helping. But at the moment she really was content to make the coffee and stay out of Daniel's way. Sam had commented to her once that Daniel couldn't write a mathematical equation worth a damn but he seemed to understand the way things worked much more clearly without them. Daniel did what he did in spite of the world telling him he couldn't possibly do it that way.

Dhar began reading, running his finger from top to bottom on the page in long columns of written word. His voice was clear, as if he was very familiar with reading these texts out loud.

"Does the blackened ground situated in the stony ground speak to me? It does not speak to me, your goddess, your life. Does this blackened ground not belong to Hubal who is not your life.

Let my worship be within the ground that rejoices, from whence all life will come, all acts of green and growing, all acts of love and pleasure are mine. Therefore let the Sacred Grove stand for all that is beautiful in strength and power. As long as the waters flow and the shoots spring forth I will protect you. Bow before my might….."

Jillian tuned it out after that. She'd read through enough Goa'uld texts to know that what came next was long-winded rhetoric about the greatness and benevolence of the goddess. She made Daniel's coffee in one of the blue metal mugs from his pack and took it to him. Then she made tea. Then she made hot chocolate for Dhar. The wide grin he gave her revealed two missing front teeth and endeared him to her forever.

She cleaned up and then wandered the room pulling books off shelves and searching for illustrations that might give her clues to the text. Dhar's voice became background noise. But after looking through several books and copying several captions for Daniel to translate Jillian suddenly became aware that the voice reading about the Sacred Grove and how its continued existence ensured the pleasure of the goddess was no longer Dhar's. It was Daniel's.

Jillian felt her ache for a moment. She knew that Daniel's ability to adapt quickly was because of all the curves that had been thrown at him all his life. But, god, she loved this man for all that he could do, for all that made him utterly unique.

Dhar laughed suddenly and said, "You _can_ read it!" and Daniel smiled and thanked him, gave him a power bar and told him he could go now.

Dhar bowed to Jillian and thanked her for the chocolate and then took off out of the room at a run. Jillian walked around behind Daniel, leaned over a bit and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He tensed for a moment, turned his head to see her from the corner of his eye. His eyebrows lifted in puzzlement as he tried to figure out if this was for him or for her and if there was something he needed to be doing for her. She squeezed a little and he seemed to get that it was for both of them, relaxed and put his hand on her arm.

"We aren't going to fix anything unless we can talk to the Kaabani, too," he said.

"No loopholes in the Sacred Text?" she asked.

"Not that I see," he answered. He indicated the book, "At least not in this. There isn't time to read through everything in here, or to educate an entire population to give up beliefs they've held for thousands of years. Sometimes I'm not sure what's worse - the slavery the Goa'uld inflict on all the people they come into contact with or the superstitions they perpetrate and then leave behind."

"The First Minister threw the Kaabani out of the city," Jillian pointed out.

"Then we can find a neutral place. The Kaabani are nomadic. They must have a tent that can be moved," Daniel was revving into 'no turning back mode.' She recognized it.

"First we'd have to talk to them, and there aren't any here anymore."

Daniel turned in the chair and looked at her with calm certainty.

"You said there are horses?"

"An equine, yes."

He continued to stare at her, chin dropped, over the top of his glasses, waiting for her to catch up. His eyes were cool and hard but there was a hint of amusement, a secret private humor of knowing she'd get it.

"Daniel," she said, finally.

He stood up. "I'm going after them. Are you coming with me?"

He was angry. Underneath the cool exterior, Daniel was getting angry. The enigma that was Daniel was sometimes still more shadow than light to her.

"I suppose I have to," she said, reaching for her pack as he reached for hers.

"Why?" he asked.

"You don't know where the stables are," she answered, tossing a saucy grin over her shoulder at him, "And I know you don't want to ask anyone."

Daniel helped her clip on her pack and turned so she could help with his.

"Are you going to get into trouble with Mallory for going AWOL?"

"Maybe, but he won't approve of this and you know it. So I guess, I don't know … Don't ask, don't tell?"

Daniel followed her into the corridor and off in a different direction than the one they had come.

"Umm, no I don't think that applies in this case," he said, "I think it's more – it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission."

"Yeah," Jillian said, "That's the one."

(0)


	100. Chapter 100

"They did what?" Alexander North blurted, staring at Scotty as if he had lost his mind because there was no way his daughter would just…..

"They left the city a few hours ago, according to the people who rent out the horses," Scotty answered.

Mallory had wandered with a deliberate casualness across the room and was speaking into his radio.

"Dr. North, please respond….. Dr. Jackson….. Jillian! …." He turned back around after a few more long moments of silence and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Dr. North," he said, to Jillian's father. "They are either unwilling or unable to respond."

"Unable to respond?" Alexander repeated, looking horrified.

"She could just be out of range. It wouldn't take long for that to happen if they're on horseback," Mallory reacted with military professionalism – keep the civilians calm.

Alexander was seething. He raked his fingers through his graying hair and said,

"I haven't had to worry about her running away since she was thirteen."

"She used to run away?" Scotty's voice hinted that he found that really amusing.

Alexander nodded in a long suffering way. "In Beijing, all the time, with a group of other kids I'd have just as soon she hadn't even met. The Mandarin she was learning wasn't exactly the kind I wanted her to know. Then later, she was always disappearing from her boarding school even though it was in the middle of absolutely nowhere. It turned out she was going to the stables across the town. I arranged for her to have riding lessons and it stopped."

There was a moment of silence in the room and then Rusty snorted.

"Talk about ironic," he said. Mal gave him a narrow look. "What? Isn't that what she did? Run away to a stable?"

"She ran away into possible enemy territory without a word to her command," Mallory snapped.

"She's a civilian, sir," Rusty pointed out, "And….."

"She's with Dr. Jackson," Mal finished, tiredly. "I know."

"Is she always like this with Daniel?" Alexander asked.

Mallory took a long time to consider his answer.

"Dr. Jackson is _always_ like this. Jillian would never do anything she thought would endanger herself or this team. But she'd follow him. I've seen Jillian stand by Daniel when everyone else thinks he's wrong, though his whole team had gotten like that and usually he's right."

Alexander held out his hands as if he expected a logical explanation to drop out of the sky.

"But what were they thinking?"

"Like I said, Dr. North, they're two young, restless, thirty-something geniuses who don't think like the rest of us. We're never sure what will happen, but it usually isn't anything bad. Unconventional, yes. Bad, no," Mal answered.

"They're probably thinking that we'll get a lot further in settling this if we can talk to both sides," Scotty said. Mallory shot a look at him and Scotty self-consciously added, "Sir."

Alexander sighed in further exasperation.

"Well we have to go after them," he said.

"With all respect, Dr. North," Mallory said, "In our experience it's best to just let Dr. Jackson work."

"And if they can't respond because they're hurt?" Alexander demanded and Mallory realized he was no longer dealing with an Ambassador. He was dealing with a frantic father.

He turned to Scotty and Rusty.

"Go see if you can find them," he said, "and be careful!"

"Sir!" They said in unison and then walked out the door together.

Alexander sagged in obvious relief.

"Thank you," he said.

"I'm sure she's fine," Mallory said, "One thing we've all learned is that Dr. Jackson would _never_ let anyone or anything hurt her."

"And if something does?"

"Then there's hell to pay," Mallory said, grimly.

(0)

When they had first seen the animals used for riding and pulling and general passage across the more wild places of this planet, Daniel had been only slightly less stunned than he had been by the photo of the mastodon.

"This isn't quite a horse is it?" Daniel had asked. He'd been stroking the soft nose of the animal being saddled for him at the time, crooning to it and generally being way too mushy as far as Jillian was concerned. The beast was huge. Daniel couldn't see over its back. Its head was more elongated than the horses they were used to and it had a wide rump and long legs.

"If I had to guess I'd say it was a pliohippus," she had said, "which ironically scientists no longer believe actually lived in the Pliocene Era." She had given her own future mount a healthy scratch behind the ears and continued, "The Pliocene and Miocene are all compared to marine sediments in Europe. It was difficult, although not impossible, to compare the ages of horses with British invertebrate fossils. But these animals show the characteristic pre-orbital fossae - deep depressions in front of the eyes, just like the fossilized skulls found alongside mastodons in North and South America. If you look closely you can see the extra toes on either side of the hoof…."

She had broken off when she caught him looking at her in a way that was even mushier than the one he was given his horse.

"What?" she'd asked. "I did some research once I saw them here. I recognized the mastodon. Who wouldn't? But couldn't quite place which prehistoric horse this was."

"You know I love it when you get all sciency," he'd said.

They had ridden fast and hard out of the city. When they'd finally slowed after a few miles to let the animals rest, Jillian asked where he had learned to ride, Daniel had only said, briefly, "Egypt," which made sense to her. He would have only needed one person on any given dig site to be appalled he couldn't ride, or to tease him about it, to make him just determined enough to learn.

"What about you?" he asked.

"England, at boarding school, along with homemaking, sewing, cooking, knitting. The school had a 'doily competition' every year and the winners were showcased in the lobby."

"What the hell is a doily?" Daniel asked, startled by a word that had eluded him until now.

"It's a little decorative scrap of fabric that you put under plates and vases and knickknacks," she explained.

"That's not just a placemat?"

"They're smaller, less practical."

"Do we have any in the house?"

She'd smiled indulgently. "No."

"Did you win the competition?" he asked.

"I never entered," she shrugged, "Let's just say knitting turned out to not be a strong talent of mine."

"Which explains the lack of doilies in our house," he teased.

Jillian laughed a little.

"My school was extremely proud of proud of 'its tradition of teaching girls and preparing them as competent mothers and home-makers.'" She finished in a sing-songy voice that told him she was quoting something.

"So how did you work in riding lessons with all that Susie-homemaker stuff?"

"Private lessons in town," she replied, "My Dad paid for them."

Knowing her teenaged years made her sad, Daniel changed the subject.

"Do you know how much further to the encampment?"

"Impossible to even know exactly where they are," Jillian answered, "They follow the herd. We don't find the camp. We find the herd."

"How do we do that?"

"You'll see," Jillian answered, with a look on her face Daniel couldn't quite read.

He let it go and settled back into the saddle. Jillian had pointed them due north and they were following the river. The only side trip they had taken was to avoid the SGC mining camp.

At last Jillian nodded at a small rise coming up to the west.

"We'll go up there and see if we can spot the herd," she said.

She kicked her mount into another hard canter and Daniel urged his to follow her.

(0)

A/N Those of you who are following this story as it is posted know it has been sometime since I continued this. I had this little adventure all drafted out as 3 or 4 chapters, started posting and suddenly realized there was an entire layer to it that I had missed in the initial story boarding. So thanks for the patience and I hope it will be worth the wait.


	101. Chapter 101

Daniel knew his mouth was probably hanging open but he couldn't help it.

"My god, Jillian," he choked, "That's not a herd. It's a _legion!_"

Jillian sighed heavily. "There are a lot of them," she said.

"That's like saying there's a lot of stars," Daniel said, drily.

Daniel and Jillian had ridden to the top of the rise and through a sparse forest. They'd tied the horses to some tree branches with just enough slack for them to gaze and walked the short distance to the edge. The panorama spread out before them was one they had only seen in dioramas at museums: a wide blue-green valley stretched in all directions, a broad river rushed and tumbled through it, sparkling in the early afternoon sun.

In the valley, crowding it from river bank to the slight rise of the upper lowlands to the horizon were the mastaya.

In the valley, crowding it from river bank to the slight rise of the upper lowlands to the horizon were the mastaya – a gently undulating sea of huge mastodon bodies.

"My god," Daniel repeated. "They can't all be healthy. A population that size has to have some control group. Do you know if there are rogue herds somewhere? If they act even the least like elephants the younger males are being driven out and have to be going somewhere."

When Jillian didn't answer he looked at her in question and found her simply gazing back in amusement.

"I'm not a biologist, Daniel, or a zoologist. I didn't study a lot of elephants growing up. It sounds like you know more than I do, which isn't unusual."

He shrugged and looked embarrassed. "I did some interning in East Africa, for my anthropology degree. You know, where they found Lucy? I got to spend some time with the Maasai. The elephant is important to them."

Jillian smiled. It wasn't hard to imagine him simply absorbing the culture and knowledge out of the air. That was Daniel.

He was watching the herd with rapt fascination. The mastaya were resting as the day became warmer, grazing or standing lazily in what were probably family groups.

"How close can we get?" Daniel asked, suddenly.

Jillian became instantly alert. "You can't touch one, Daniel," she said, warningly and then started shaking her head for emphasis, "No, no. NO."

"Why not?" he asked, with an innocent sideways glance, "Come on, Jillian. Aren't you tempted? No one has seen an animal like this in ten thousand years!"

"No one has been trampled by one in all that time either!" she protested, "I'd rather you didn't go down in history as the first. Daniel, if something spooks that herd it becomes lethal."

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and she knew he was looking for an argument. Her pulse started pounding in her throat.

"Daniel. No. Please."

She sounded so panicked he turned his entire body to look at her. He was a little shocked to find her biting her lower lip with tears blurring her eyes.

"Hey," he said, softly, taking a step towards, "Okay. I won't. It was just a thought."

Jillian exhaled. "I'm sorry," she said, "It's just…. We just lost Janet."

He curved his hands over her hips and pulled her close to him. He wanted to hug her but wearing full packs made it difficult.

"Okay," he said, again, "I promised you I would be more careful. I'm an idiot. Please yell at me? Just get mad at me. I can't stand making you cry."

Perhaps it was because they were so focused on each other but they never heard the small group of men approaching through the woods; not until they had formed a semicircle around Daniel and Jillian and they were trapped with their backs against the cliff.

There were six men, dressed in beige and tan tunics over loose fitting pants. They had long pieces of fabric wound around their waists, soft-skinned boots and some serious weaponry pointed at Daniel and Jillian.

Daniel and Jillian put their hands up in the universal symbol of surrender.

"You're of the Kaabani," Jillian said, slowly.

"You are of the Tauri," one of the men replied, "that does not give you permission to approach the Sacred Herd while armed."

"You're armed." Daniel pointed out.

The smile the Kaabani man gave them was feral and without humor.

"We are the Guardians. We would never harm the herd. It is our sworn hereditary duty to protect it."

Daniel made a slight motion with his head, over his shoulder, to indicate the valley.

"Neither would we. Whether you believe us or not that is one of the most incredible things we've ever seen."

The men stirred and exchanged glances but didn't lower their weapons.

"We came in search of Matrid and Ozem," Daniel said. "The Kaabani representatives to the Badani. Can you take us to them?"

"They are in the city."

"Not anymore," Jillian said, "They left this morning. We need to talk to them about everything that is going on."

The group exchanged glances again and then their leader made a sweeping gesture towards their mounts. Warily Daniel and Jillian moved forward and started in that direction.

Then one of the Kaabani behind Jillian lifted the butt of his rifle and aimed it at her head. In the next moment, Jillian had whirled, seized his wrist, driven her body into his midsection and flipped him over her back. The man landed with a heavy expulsion of air, dazed and staring at the sky. Immediately two more of the men rushed her. Daniel had time for a single cut off shout of warning before he was engaged in his own struggle. There was a Kaabani coming towards him with the end of his rifle raised to strike at Daniel but Daniel grabbed the man's wrist with both hands, twisted it, pivoted, dropped to one knee and flung the man over his shoulder. He heard the man go down screaming in pain, likely from a broken wrist.

_Damn but he owed Jack a six pack for teaching him that…._

Jillian was struggling with two of the remaining Kaabani. Daniel was shouting her name and trying to get to her when something slammed into the back of his head. Stars exploded in his vision. His ears rang. The last thing he heard before the world went dark was Jillian screaming.

(0)


	102. Chapter 102

For a long time there was darkness, silent and peaceful. Eventually, a throbbing head and an insistent voice intruded and she tried to open her eyes.

"Jillian! Jill, wake up. Come on, baby, you're freaking me out a little."

Even before she threw off the last tatters of a dreamless sleep she recognized the voice. Daniel.

She opened her eyes and followed the voice to its source and found him staring at her with those incredible Caribbean eyes and a worried expression.

"Where are you glasses?" she asked.

"Gone, along with everything else we had with us. Can you sit up?"

That was when she realized her hands were bound at the wrist behind her back with coarse ropes and so were his from the awkward way he was kneeling beside her.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

There wasn't any way he would accept a casually cast-off _fine._

"My head hurts and I'm a little stiff. My little fingers are both numb," she said.

Glancing around, Jillian realized they were in a small tent.

"Can you get my boots untied?" she asked.

He frowned but said, "Yes. I think so."

He moved around, grinding the dirt floor into the knees of his pants as he did. It was awkward, with Daniel holding half a sit up as he leaned back and Jillian having to talk him through getting the double knot started.

"Do you always double knot your boots?" he asked.

"They loosen up all the time if I don't," she protested.

It took a while and some considerable muttering on Daniel's part but they got the first one off. The second one went a little smoother.

"Now what?" Daniel asked.

Jillian straightened her arms as far as she could, curled up in a tight ball and slipped her feet over the ropes binding her wrists. It took some carefully controlled movement and some muttering on _her_ part but she managed to get her wrists in front of her.

"I thought all that flexibility was only useful in bed," he said.

Jillian glanced at him as she wiggled into a more comfortable seated position. His tone was deliberately light but it was edged. He was angry.

"Turn around," she said, carefully, "I'll untie you and then you can do mine."

He complied and she started working on the knots in his ropes with her fingers. She was even surer now that he was sitting on some serious anger. The tension across his back and shoulders was visible.

"Hey," she said, attempting to distract him, "Did I tell you the invitations for the wedding and the reception came?"

He tried to look at her over his shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Sit still! They were delivered right after you left for 493 and I didn't get a chance to tell you before I left to come here."

"Are they okay?"

"Yes, they're fine. They're adorable even."

"Well good because if they weren't adorable they were going back immediately."

Jillian had one knot loosened and Daniel tried flexing his wrists.

"Don't move," she said, then rushed on, "There's two more knots. You'll tighten them." She could feel him visibly trying to relax. "Oh, and Scotty said yes. He will sing at the wedding. So just him and guitar accompaniment like we talked about?"

"Yeah, that's fine," he didn't sound distracted. It was more like he was thought she needed distracting. "It's what you wanted, right?"

"Yes. Dammit Daniel, sit still!"

He made a frustrated sound in his throat and froze.

"I'm sorry," she said, "These are just really tight and more of my fingers are going numb."

"No, it's fine. I know what you're trying to do. I should be still. So, uh, did you talk to him about what we wanted for songs?"

"Yes."

"Did you pick something for the entrance yet? When you walk in?"

"Umm, Scotty and I talked about _Perhaps Love. _Do you remember that?"

"No," he sounded puzzled.

"It was popular in the 80s? John Denver wrote it?"

"No, I still don't recognize it but if it's what you want, then it's fine."

"It's your wedding too! I want it to be things you want." She paused while she unwrapped a few of the loops around his wrists and then he shook himself free.

He whirled around, took her face between his palms and kissed her.

"Are you going to marry me after this walk down the aisle and Scotty sings this song?" he asked, breaking away and leaving her breathless.

"Yes," she nodded.

"Then I love it already. You can sing it for me when we get out of here."

He leaned in and kissed her again.

"Daniel, untie me!"

"Yeah, okay. Come here."

Jillian sat completely still while he untied her. He flung the rope away as if it had done him a personal offense, took her wrists in his hands and rubbed gently.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yes. How do we get out of here?"

"It's a tent. It shouldn't be too hard."

"The Kaabani are only slightly less numerous than the Sacred Herd," Jillian informed him. "And we're going to have a hard time blending in wearing our ultra-attractive sage green BDUs."

"Well then Plan B," he said.

"Did we have a Plan A?" she asked.

"Well I don't know about your team but mine just defaults to Plan B since we never have much luck with Plan A."

Without any further comment, Daniel helped her get her boots back on. He took the left and she took the right. She didn't miss the disapproving look he gave the red marks on her wrists.

"Daniel, I'm fine," she said.

They got back on their feet and Daniel started looking around to see if there was anything they could take with them: food, weapons….

A disturbance at the opening of the tent made them both whirl around and take a position of back to back defense.

A tall man came in, flanked by eight other. They were wearing the same beige tunic and loose-fitting pants they had already seen on the Kaabani guards. The tall man had a dark red sash wound around his waist, with the hilt of a large curved knife sticking out of it. He had graying hair on his head and in the neatly trimmed goatee on his chin, shrewd dark eyes and a grim expression on his lined face.

"Matrid," Jillian sounded more than a little relieved. She didn't turn from her defensive position but she said, "Daniel, this is one of the representatives we came to find."

She didn't feel even the slightest change in Daniel's posture; even though she wasn't sure what they could do against nine armed men. She supposed they might leave a few bruises and broken bones in their path but not before she and Daniel were bloodied and tied up again.

"Daniel!" she hissed, "We came here to talk."

She shifted enough to look up at him and saw that he had his eyes locked with Matrid's.

"Don't hurt her," Daniel said, in that flat-line, diamond-hard voice that gave her chills.

"The two of you injured two of my men," Matrid pointed out.

"One of your men attacked my bride-to-be," Daniel answered. "Without provocation. We had a right to defend ourselves."

Matrid studied the intense young man in front of him, the one Jillian was calling Daniel. He knew there was nothing Daniel could do right now to stop them.

He also knew from the look in those eyes that eventually Daniel would do something. Maybe not that day, maybe not even in the near future. But eventually…..

Jillian shifted her attention back to Matrid. He had not spent a great deal of time with the young woman. The talks, when he was still in the city, had consumed much of his time. He remembered however that her fascination with the Sacred Herd had been genuine.

And he had already chastised his men for mistreating them. He'd intended to have them untied. But apparently they didn't need his assistance in that area. He had no doubts that if he had gotten here much later they would already have slipped out of the tent.

Matrid turned and spoke to the man directly beside him.

"Bring them food and drink and someone to see to their bruises."

The man touched his forehead and vanished.

"Please… Daniel? It is Daniel?"

"Yes," it was accompanied by a stiff nod.

"Come, sit," Matrid gestured towards the large woven mat on the floor and the scattered pillows, "We are not as barbaric as my men have brought you to believe."

They settled into pillows, cross-legged.

"I was sorry to find that you had been asked to leave the city," Jillian said.

Matrid scowled. "There was nothing more that could be said. The Herd will go where it will. If the trees cannot get out of their way they will be sacrificed so that the Herd may live."

"You know that won't be acceptable to the Badani," Daniel said.

One of the men who had entered with Matrid spoke fiercely.

"If they try to stop the Herd, we will burn their precious trees to the ground!"

Daniel's voice went up. "And do you think they'll just take their revenge on the Kaabani? Whatever you do to the Grove they will do to the Herd."

"Be silent, Keziah," Matrid snapped.

Keziah returned a stony stare and said, "We have been silent long enough. Are they going to start treating us as their equals? Are they going to stop sneering at us because we choose to live free and not stagnate in a city worshipping trees? Will our silence make them respect the Sacred Herd and its holy right to move as it pleases?"

Another of the men spoke up. "They will never stop that; not until we _make _them."

"That's enough, both of you!" Matrid said, even more firmly.

"You have spent too much time among those who are city-soft, Matrid, in the shade of their trees," Keziah sneered.

With that he and the other man spun around and marched out of the tent, leaving the flap shivering behind them.

Matrid sighed. He turned back to Daniel, "I can keep them from doing anything destructive to the Grove. At least I think I can. But there is nothing I can do if any of the mastaya are harmed by the Badani. If they interfere with the movement of the Herd in anyway, their lives will be forfeit."

Food and drink arrived – dried fruit and wine in shallow wooden cups, with a coarse bread that might have been a type of rye. Daniel and Jillian both ate. Daniel had been unusually quiet. When he had finished some bread and fruit and sipped at the wine for a while he finally said,

"Matrid, do I understand correctly that there is to be no human interference with the Herd. It has to be allowed to choose its own path?"

"This is correct, Daniel," Matrid beamed at him as if he a star pupil.

"And you won't interfere in _any_ way with what it chooses to do?" Daniel insisted. "Wherever the Herd goes, you will only follow?"

"It would break our most sacred code," was the answer.

Jillian was watching Daniel closely. She knew that look on his face. She could hear the pieces clicking into place for him.

"What are you thinking?" she asked.

"I'd rather not say yet," Daniel stood up abruptly, "Matrid, I had really thought to stay and talk to longer about this. But it's important that I return to the city and speak to my superiors at StarGate Command immediately."

Matrid stood, smoothly for a man of his age.

"Can you give me a day?" Daniel asked. "Can you keep your people from violence until this time tomorrow?"

"That is up to the Herd and the Badani," Matrid answered. "But the Herd is settled in for a while until it is finished grazing in this area. It is unlikely to move again for a few days at least."

Daniel seemed relieved.

"Can we have our packs? And our mounts?"

"I'll have your possessions returned to you, but we'll supply you with fresh mounts. Are you certain you wish to make the return trip today? You won't arrive back in the city until after dark."

Jillian looked anxiously at Daniel.

"No we have to go back now," Daniel insisted.

"You think you have a solution that will satisfy both the Kaabani and the Badani, Daniel?"

"Yes," he answered, certainly, "Yes, I do."

(0)


	103. Chapter 103

On their return trip to the city Daniel made no attempt to bypass the SGC mining camp. In fact, he kept them close to the river, which would take them eventually straight into the heart of the place the engineers and miners had named Camp Hammond.

He stopped at one point to let the horses drink, but the stop seemed deliberate to Jillian. He stared at the river for a moment and then said,

"The river isn't as deep here," he noted," and you can see the other side."

"According to the UAV footage that I saw there's a fork in the river," Jillian said, "It's probably just above here and would make this fork much less deep and wide. Just below the mining camp another one comes down out of the mountains and joins this one to create the river that runs by the city."

"Is that UAV footage here or back at the Base?"

"At the Base I think," she continued to watch him gazing thoughtfully at the river. Like her, he was bent over just far enough to keep hold of the reins while his horse drank.

Jillian's horse finished drinking and she let it wander a bit to graze.

"Daniel," she said, finally, "You can't force the Herd across the river, even if it's obvious they could cross here. We can't interfere with them at all. The only thing that will do is divert the wrath of the Kaabani onto us. No one's going to be happy about losing this treaty or the mining rights."

Daniel looked at her sideways. "What's in the mine?"

"Goa'uld seeded minerals like trinium and naquadah, along with pretty large deposits of yttrium and lanthanum."

Daniel shook his head slowly, "No, we won't risk losing that." His tone was musing though. "I know the Kaabani and the Badani ceded the rights to a certain amount of acreage to us as well as river access. I'm assuming that the Kaabani retained the rights of their Herd to cross that land?"

"I haven't read the Treaty but yes," Jillian said," I think that's safe to assume."

"Do you know where the boundaries are?"

"No, but the maps and a copy of the Treaty are kept in the city. It won't be hard to find out."

Daniel's brow furrowed and his vision narrowed to some spot just inside his glasses.

"You know, if you'd just tell me what your hypothesis is, I could help you look for things to support or disprove it," Jillian said, "It's what scientists do."

He smiled in an enigmatic way. "I'm not sure it will even work, Jill. I don't want you to be complicit in my madness."

She smiled back. "Too late."

Daniel didn't answer. He pulled his mount's head up and turned it south again.

"Come on. I'd like to make the city before dark."

(0)

They met up with Scotty and Rusty just before they reached Camp Hammond. Rusty was sitting his mount without too much difficulty, not with the casual grace of a true rider but not all that out of place.

Scotty was as awkward as a duck on roller skates. Jillian gave him a look filled with barely contained amusement, fighting the urge to laugh. Scotty's eyes blazed back at her.

"Hey, Daniel," she said, "Can you get to your camera easily?"

Catching her mood, Daniel said, "Oh I think I might be able to."

Scotty's eyes got huge.

"Don't," he warned, "I swear to god, Jillian, if you make so much as a sound, even one small giggle…Paybacks are a bitch. Remember that."

Jillian's eyes danced. Scotty's horse took a slight misstep and he grabbed the saddle in a death grip and cussed under his breath.

"Holy mother of god," he finished, "Can't I just _walk_ back?"

"Suck it up, California," Rusty said, not without affection, "Pretend it's a wave."

"Yeah, "Scotty snapped, "like a tsunami."

Rusty gave a short bark of laughter.

Daniel urged his mount a little closer to Jillian's but looked at Rusty.

"So how much trouble did I get her in?" Daniel asked.

"I'm a big girl, Daniel. I make my own decisions," Jillian said.

"Oh," Rusty had given a nonchalant shrug as their horses turned and the group started back to the city, "Mal will get over it. Christ knows he's used to it. Your dad on the other hand…"

Jillian looked alarmed. "Dad's mad?"

"He's not happy," Rusty said.

Jillian bit her lower lip and fixed her eyes on the vista in front of her.

"It's not like he can ground you, _carissima_," Daniel said, comfortingly. She glanced at him. "Come on, you just said you were a big girl."

"No, it's not that," Jillian answered, "I've been making my own decisions for a very long time now and not checking with him first. I don't want him to worry though."

Daniel smiled at her indulgently.

"He knows what you do for a living, Jill. Worry kind of comes with the territory."

(0)


	104. Chapter 104

"Oh, thank god," Alexander North said as he wrapped both arms around Jillian and hugged her tight.

Jillian gasped a little in an attempt to breathe and patted her father awkwardly on the back.

"It's okay, Dad. I'm fine."

"You scared the hell out of me. You haven't done that since Beijing," Alexander said.

Jillian wriggled until he let her go. "I took a ride, Dad."

Alexander blinked for a moment and wondered then his daughter had learned how to use a calm, military tone when she was dismissing his concerns.

"Into a potentially enemy camp!"

Jillian stared at him for a moment. "You know that last month I was involved in a 45 minute firefight with a rebel faction on P3X-812? Right?"

"No, actually I didn't know that!" Alexander said, raking his fingers through his hair and stared at her.

His daughter, who had grown out of teenage awkwardness into a quietly stunning, competent young woman. She was staring back at him with her mother's eyes.

"Dad, I'm fine," Jillian reiterated. No need at all to tell him she probably had a minor concussion. Another one.

He gave her a skeptical look. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Is Daniel?"

"Yes."

"Where _is_ Daniel?"

"He's back in the archives reading through the Treaty and looking at the maps and easements. Want to join him?"

"Why is he doing that? I read the Treaty while you were gone. I didn't find anything that would help us."

"You didn't read it the way Daniel will. He's looking for something very specific."

It didn't escape Alexander's notice that Jillian's expression had gone positively dewy as she talked about Daniel. He knew that the intense, self-contained young man had not stolen his daughter's heart. But she had clearly given it away.

"Will he tell us what that is?" Alexander asked.

"When he's ready," Jillian said.

Alexander shook his head slowly. He had always out of his league with Jillian. Daniel was on some other plane entirely. Just in the short time he had known Daniel he had begun to wonder if the whole world saw in black and white, or some limited spectrum, while Daniel could see the entire rainbow.

"It's late," Alexander said, also noting that his daughter seemed very pale and there were shadows under her eyes. "Shouldn't we all be trying to get some sleep?"

"I'm going to go and be with Daniel," Jillian answered, "He won't stop until he finds what he's looking for, one way or the other. You can get some sleep if you want. I know the rest of the team is in the quarters they assigned us. I'll come get you if we learn anything."

"No, I'd like to come if you don't mind. I read the Treaty. It's possible I can clarify it for him. A lot of it is in 'legalese'."

Jillian smiled. "Not his favorite language. I'm sure he'd appreciate the help."

"Then let's go help," Alexander said, returning her smile.

(0)

Daniel was at the same table in the archive room in which Dhar had taught him to read. The camp stove was out, hissing softly as it kept water hot for him to indulge cups of his drug of choice. He was hunched over pages of computer printed pages that seemed out of place in this setting. His video camera rested on its side near his elbow.

He looked up when she came in, then at the table and then back at her.

"I thought I told you to go get some sleep," he said.

His voice was gently disapproving.

"I found out Dad was still awake. I thought I should go talk to him," Jillian answered. She walked over to him, put a hand on his shoulder and briefly rubbed at the knot of tension she found there. "Now I can't sleep and Dad thought he might be able to help you with the legal stuff."

Daniel glanced up at Alexander. "I'd appreciate the help, Dr. North," he said.

"Daniel, for gods' sake, if I can't get you to call me 'dad' will you at least please call me Alex?"

Daniel seemed to consider that for a moment. He'd never been able to call anyone 'dad' for very long. Something about that made him very resistant to the idea.

"All right. Alex," he answered, finally.

Jillian's hand squeezed his shoulder again before she sat down next to him.

"Did you make coffee?" Alex asked.

"Instant, but yes. The water's still hot if you want some," Daniel answered, "There's an extra cup in the pack."

When Alex had poured hot water over coffee crystals and stirred them into a reasonable facsimile of his preferred beverage he sat down across from Daniel.

"How can I help?"

Daniel slid the map over so that it faced his future father-in-law and pointed to the fork in the river.

"This fork is just above the cut off of the land ceded to the SGC by this treaty? This is the boundary of the land we are legally entitled to. Yes?" Daniel asked.

"Yes," Alexander answered.

"And we can do whatever we like to this fork of the river? The one that continues past the camp?" Daniel pressed.

"Yes?"

"Including putting in a temporary dam?"

"Yes?" The puzzled frown on Alexander's face got even more puzzled. "But how would you do that? And why?"

"Well, why is to make it passable on foot," Daniel answered. "According to the UAV footage I just watched. The land to the east of this river is completely unsettled. The Kaabani's herd can roam for miles and miles on it completely undisturbed and once the dam is removed, never be able to get anywhere near the Badani trees. As to how," he paused and looked at Jillian, "Remember the temporary inflatable dams they used on PJ8-871? When the snowfall was threatening to flood the ruins when the spring thaw came?"

Jillian nodded. "Pretty easily transported, anchor them, fill them with water from the river you're trying to dam. Yes, that will work. But Daniel you still can only offer to this to the herd. You can't _make _them cross it; and you seem to be the elephant expert here but I'm pretty sure something as intimidating as a gigantic bright blue floating dam is something most animals will steer clear of. It's not exactly something nature intended."

"No but we can encourage them to accept it as the better choice," Daniel said.

"How?" Alexander asked.

Daniel inhaled deeply and Jillian held up her hand to stop him.

"Fifty words or less, please?" she said, "It's late and we're all tired."

Daniel smiled as he exhaled and told them, in less than fifty words, exactly what he had in mind.

When he finished Alexander was gaping at him and Jillian was smiling with a rare kind of quiet pride.

"You know," Alexander said, "It just might work."

(0)


	105. Chapter 105

It was well past the midnight hour on 822 when Daniel had dialed Earth. Jillian had winced a little at the noise but nothing in the town square had moved. No light had come on. No one had come to ask what was going on.

Did the Badani often dial out in the middle of the night?

She fidgeted and looked around the dimly lit square, watching clouds chase across the single moon, while Daniel explained to Jack what he needed.

When Daniel was finished – and albeit Daniel was running on no sleep for almost twenty nine hours – Jack said,

"You want what now?"

"A portable dam system that will cross about a kilometer of water and…."

"Yeah, I got that,' Jack interrupted. "You want me to contact the Denver Zoo and ask for what?"

Daniel took his finger off his radio and sighed.

"Look, Jack, we'll just come back and talk about this in person, okay?"

He glanced at Jillian and she nodded.

But, crap, they were going to be in trouble with Mallory for taking off again. Not to mention her Dad.

A half step behind Daniel, Jillian walked through the Stargate and stood blinking for a moment in the brightly lit Gate Room.

Jack swept them both with a disapproving look. They looked exhausted.

"Have you two ever heard of sleep?"

He was standing at the bottom of the ramp, arms folded, glaring a little.

"What time is it here?" Daniel asked.

"It's 21 hundred and change," Jack answered. "What do you want first? Sleep or coffee so you can explain your current off-the wall plan?"

"Coffee," Daniel said."Gate lag has me about three hours ahead of you." But he turned to Jillian. "Why don't you go get some rest, cleaned up? I'll join you in a little bit."

"Okay." She leaned up and kissed the side of his bristly jaw. Then she staggered out of the Gate room in search of the elevator.

"Where's Hammond?"

"At home in bed. He said he would be back early tomorrow," Jack answered. "You know what time 21 hundred is in civilian, right?"

"Yes, Jack," Daniel said, with patient impatience. He followed Jack to the Briefing room outside of Hammond's office.

"MacKenzie!" Jack hollered at the aide on duty.

"Sir!"

"No calls. DND until I open this door."

"Yes, sir," MacKenzie replied, snappy and military and unquestioning.

O'Neill led Daniel to the General's office, stopping only long enough to let Daniel pour coffee from one of the constant green pots. Then he hit the door with his foot and gave it a push that ended with it closing almost soundlessly.

He leaned up against the desk and Daniel dropped gratefully into one of the leather chairs.

"Now, what is it you want from the zoo?"

Daniel was tired.

"A couple of lions and tigers and bears would be nice," he said, sardonically, "Barring that, then a whole lot of what lions and tigers and bears produce."

Jack looked at him for what seemed like an eternity but was probably a relatively short time. He wasn't an idiot, for all that he liked everyone to assume he was.

"You think that will turn the herd," he said.

"There's certainly no reason it shouldn't; and the terms of the treaty allow us to do whatever we want to the land. The only thing we're constrained from doing is 'any act of physical aggression that will endanger any member of the Sacred Herd.' A dam across the river and several strategically placed compost piles can hardly be considered physical aggression. The herd should turn with the no problem. The scent of all that nice fresh grass across the damned up river compared to the scent of large predators in the camp should be enough to convince them to go east. We may have to deal with their reaction to the dam but it should be far enough away to not really be a factor."

He drank coffee for a while as Jack continued to stare at him.

"How far away is the herd from the camp?"

"About six kilometers. It's about another ten to the city," Daniel answered.

"We'll have to act fast then," Jack said.

Daniel looked at him as if Jack had just announced that deserts had sand.

"That would be why I am here in the middle of the night," he said.

"I can get the dam on its way in the next two hours. The rest has to wait until morning," Jack said.

Daniel stood up. "That should be enough time. The Kaabani leader is keeping them calm at the moment. Dr. North said he would do what he could with the Badani."

"We going to tell anyone about this little plane?"

"Outside of the SGC? I don't see why. We're allowed to do what we want with the land and river. If it happens to solve the problem, then that's just a nice side benefit, right?"

Jack continued to regard Daniel, wondering if the man had ever even seen the box he was so far outside of.

"You should sleep while I set this up."

"God, that sounds fantastic," Daniel answered, stifling a yawn.

He was exhausted now, for no better reason than that he had handed all this off to Jack and he trusted Jack to do this exactly the way it needed to be done. Not even an IV drip of caffeine could keep him on his feet now.

He set the coffee cup down on the Briefing Room table as he left to find his quarters.

(0)

Jillian woke, chilled more than she should be just from sleeping in a bed lacking the warmth of shared body heat. She rubbed her gritty eyes and blinked in the darkness, rising up on her elbows to survey the dark room. The bathroom door was closed but there was a line of light creeping out at the bottom. The soft rush of the shower running could be heard and there was a scent of Daniel's woodsy shampoo.

The shower shut off abruptly as she reached for the quilt and settled back down on the pillow. A moment later she heard the sink running and knew he was brushing his teeth.

When the door opened she had to put her hand up to shield her eyes against the sudden flare of brightness.

"Sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"I'm not sure you did," she answered in a voice still drowsy with sleep. "I was cold."

He reached back to click off the light, padded across the carpet and slipped into bed with her. He was still slightly shower-damp, smelled delicious and brought sweet warmth between the sheets with him.

Jillian snuggled closer and sighed.

"Better?" he asked, wrapping her up in his arms.

"Mmmm," she said, "Jack handling everything?"

"Yeah," he said, barely audible.

"Mmm," she said again.

Then they didn't say anything else as they faded off into an exhausted sleep.

(0)


	106. Chapter 106

By the time Daniel and Jillian walked back through the Gate to 822 Jack had the damming operation well underway. The engineering crew assigned to the task had already come through, weighted down with F.R.E.D's full of equipment and supplies. Jack was supposed to still be on medical leave, but had decided (on his own) that he was well enough to oversee the project.

He had already left the city well before dawn with the cavalcade of men and supplies heading for the camp.

Daniel knew all this and was relieved by it as they returned to 822; and it was a good thing because the first sight to greet them as they stepped into the sunlight was heavy smoke billowing up from behind the government buildings, still lit with the dull orange glow of fire.

"Oh my god," Jillian breathed, "Dad!"

She was faster than she looked and she had taken off at a dead run before Daniel even realized it. He caught up to her on the steps of the main building and they hit the entry hall together.

Alexander North was striding to them across the stone floor. His suit coat and tie were gone. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbow and he was soot-stained and disheveled.

Jillian slid to an abrupt halt, reached out with one flailing hand to grab Daniel's arm. Her fingers dug in tightly.

"Dad," she exhaled in relief.

Alex finished crossing the distance between them, took her by the shoulders and kissed her forehead.

"I thought it might be you when I heard the Gate activate," he said.

"Are you all right?" Daniel asked when Jillian didn't appear to be able to say anything else.

"Yes," her father answered as he gave Jillian's shoulders another comforting squeeze before letting go.

"What happened?" Daniel asked.

"Apparently there is still a small but hot-headed group of Kaabani still in the city. A verbal sparring match at a local watering hole turned into a full blown bar fight and borderline riot. Apparently the Kaabani threatened to burn the Grove after they overheard another group saying they were going to shoot into the herd and cause a stampede."

Daniel closed his eyes and a muscle in his jaw rippled a little. "Do they know how big the herd is?"

Alexander blinked at him for a moment. "How big is it?"

Jillian got her voice working again. "Daniel called it a legion but it's probably less than two thousand."

Her father stared at her. "Two… thousand? _Thousand?"_

"Yes," Jillian said, "Stampeding something that size will cause devastation for miles."

"My _god_," Alexander murmured, "I guess we should feel blessed that all they managed to do was start a small fire; and that's under control now."

"Respectfully, sir," Daniel said, "It doesn't look under control."

Alex shook his head. "Some embers went over the wall and set fire to the dump outside of the city. The Badani fire patrol is out there monitoring it but they say they're just going to let it burn for a while."

A movement from the side of the hall caught Daniel's attention and he looked up to find Drea and a small group of Badani coming towards them.

Drea spoke when they got close enough.

"Your father was instrumental in ending the rioting," she told Jillian, "I have rarely heard a man speak so eloquently to people he barely knows; and a diverse and conflicted group of people at that."

Softly Jillian said, "That's my dad."

She released her death grip on Daniel's arm and seemed to relax.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up," Alex said, "I know you probably want to go straight to the camp but will you wait for me?"

"I can arrange more comfortable transportation for you than the horses, if you would like," Drea said, "and I'd like my ministry assistant to accompany you." She turned her shrewd dark eyes to Daniel, "Your plan is quite… unique, Dr. Jackson."

He smiled a little. "Daniel," he reminded her, "and we still don't know if it's going to work."

"Do you have any doubts about it?" Drea asked.

Daniel shrugged. "Well, it's our Plan A."

"Is this a problem?" Drea asked.

Daniel stuck his hands in his pockets, "Only in that Plan A usually doesn't work very well for us and this time, there is no Plan B."

(0)

The dam took several hours to get into place, anchored and filled but once that had been accomplished it worked as advertised. With the river diverted into the other fork, a wide muddy stream was all that was left – easily crossable if you didn't mind getting a little wet. In the hours it had taken to place the dam, a train of F.R. had arrived bearing gifts from the Denver Zoo in large plastic shipping crates.

Jack, Mallory, Colonel James (who was in charge of Camp Hammond), Alexander North and a small delegation of Badani stood with Daniel on the slight rise to the north west of the camp and watched a platoon of Airmen and personnel from the Army Corp of Engineers attack the contents of the plastic containers with shovels.

"If I was you," Jack remarked to Daniel in a conversational tone, "I'd avoid all of those guys for a few weeks."

Daniel was standing with his arms folded and his feet braced.

"How many different names have they called me?" Daniel asked, in the same nonchalant tone.

"All of 'em," Jack answered, "I think they may have even coined a few new ones just for you. You ought to be glad these aren't the guys assigning you a permanent pilot call sign."

Daniel shrugged. "I worked for two summers with a professor who called me Alf."

Jack puzzled over that for a few minutes and then said, "Alien Life Form?"

"Annoying Little Fucker," Daniel corrected.

Jack stared. "Damn. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Don't even think about it," Daniel warned. "Unless you want me to go on a fact finding tour of your old squad until I find out what your first call sign was?"

Jack looked utterly innocent and said, "No. No, that won't be necessary. I'll just stick to calling you Daniel."

Daniel was prevented from replying when his radio crackled with Jillian's voice. She and Rusty had ridden out to check on the status of the herd.

"_Dan_?"

"Go ahead."

"_Thought you ought to know, the herd is moving again_."

"How close are they?"

"_Maybe three kilometers now, but no signs of stopping to gaze. I think I've identified the Matriarch and she looks pretty intent on moving forward."_

The people gathered on the ridge all glanced at each other grimly.

"Understood," Daniel told her. "Why don't you come on back now and help with the evac?"

"_On our way."_

Jack looked at Colonel James.

"Time to get all your nonessential personnel out of here, Kurt," he said.

"Copy that," Kurt James answered. He paused to look at Daniel. "I hope your plan works, Dr. Jackson."

Daniel nodded. "Yeah. Me too."

(0)


	107. Chapter 107

As the day stretched closer to evening the group, plus Jillian and Rusty and Scotty (who had voluntarily helped with the compost piles) gathered once again on the rise overlooking the land to the north. There was a light breeze blowing up and rippling through the blue-green grass.

"The wind seems to favor your plan, Daniel," Drea observed.

Daniel was tense. Jack could see it in the braced stance and the lines around his eyes. It was understandable. If this didn't work the mastaya would trample the camp and then move on to the city and the Sacred Grove. If Daniel's plan didn't stop them, the Badani would; and then this would all escalate to a whole new level of violence.

Violence from which this world might never recover.

The ground was shaking with the weight of the oncoming herd. They were, indeed legion. Flanked by a long line of Kaabani Guardians on their giant pliohippian mounts, the mastaya herd stretched into the distance.

They weren't going very fast, looking for all the world as if they were out for an evening stroll. The front of the herd was less than a three hundred meters away from the camp. The huge, old matriarch with the yellowed tusks was unmistakable now. She was surrounded by her own guard of younger, stronger looking mastaya, probably also female; and she was moving purposefully forward with big, ambling strides.

The group on the ridge exchanged nervous looks. The Badani muttered among themselves. It was the first time they had seen this group of animals they had heard so much about and that had been such a threat to them. Its size was staggering. Jillian took a step closer to Daniel and slipped her hand into his. Daniel didn't take his eyes off the approaching herd. The SGC teams and Camp Hammond command team also shared an uneasy look.

They were losing confidence with every thundering step the herd took.

Two hundred meters and the group on the rise was barely breathing. Drea had begun a low chant under her breath, most likely a prayer to her goddess. Jack found himself almost hoping it would actually help.

One hundred meters…..

Eighty….

Seventy…..

Jack glanced at Daniel, whose jaw was now so tense Jack thought the bone might break.

_Stop, you bastards,_ Jack thought.

Suddenly, as if the chanting and Jack's mental admonishment had been seen or felt, the matriarch and all the mastaya in the first rank slowed down, stopped and began swaying back and forth. A low rumple rose from the herd, vibrating through the ground like bass drums. The second rank also stopped and began frantically milling around. Then the third and finally all of them as far as they could see, into the horizon.

The matriarch turned, lifted her trunk and trumpeted into the evening air. Within moments the entire herd was answering. When she was done she turned and began walking in an ever-winding circle until she came to the muddy trickle of water that had once been the river. She stood swaying on the bank for a moment, ears flapping, trunk sniffing the ground.

Behind her the herd moaned and swayed and milled in confusion.

The Kaabani had come to a complete halt, waiting to see what she would decide.

"Go ahead, sweetheart," Daniel whispered in his rich, low voice, "It's safe. We made sure it was."

Maybe she even heard him. Maybe his voice carried on the wind and teased her huge ears the way the scent of dozens of large predatory animals was alerting her super sensitive nose to danger. Whatever made her decide the matriarch took a determined step forward, and then another and soon she was marching with alacrity across the wide expanse into another valley. The leading edge of the herd turned east with her. The rest of it stopped milling around and stood still, waiting for their turn to move.

The mounted Kaabani seemed stunned at first, but their most sacred laws prevented them from disagreeing. They urged their mounts forward and crossed the stream side by side with their Sacred Herd.

There was a split second of breathless wonder and then everyone on the ridge broke into a loud cheer.

Everyone but Daniel, who simply turned and wrapped both arms around Jillian, leaned on her heavily and closed his eyes.

When the cheer died, Mallory said, "Someone kiss Dr. Jackson so I don't have to."

Scotty took a quick step away from Daniel. "Go for it, Jill," he said, "I won't get in your way."

Jillian tilted her head up, moved Daniel's face to hers with a nudge of her cheek and brushed her lips against his. He hesitated.

"Hey, you heard my CO," she said, "I'm under orders here."

She was relieved when he kissed back, gentle, appropriately public.

But he had seemed so relieved Jillian had wondered if he was going to fall down.

"Daniel Jackson," Drea said.

Jillian let go of him just enough for him to turn and look at the First Minister.

"Words cannot express our gratitude for saving our Sacred Grove and our city. You have the thanks of all the Badani."

Daniel shook his head. "The SGC sent a team," he said, "and none of this would have been possible without the efforts of the airmen and engineers who put all this in place, the command that approved the plan. If there is credit to be given, it needs to be shared equally."

Drea regarded him closely. "I understand and this I will do. All of our brothers and sisters from Earth shall be given credit. Songs will be written to sing of this day," she leaned closer to Daniel and finished, "But I will always be most grateful to you and hope to call you my most wise friend for life."

"I'd like that, First Minister," Daniel said, "I'd like that very much."

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	108. Chapter 108

At the end of the meeting with the Kaabani leaders, they all stood up and shook hands. They had been told the same thing Jack had told their superiors when the Requisition and Supply request went out.

They needed to temporarily dam the river if they were to continue exploring the possible mineral resources of this planet. Eventually a bridge would be built and, since their Sacred Herd seemed content to follow the heavy-flowing east fork of the river through an endless sea of grass, the Kaabani would be given free a lifetime pass over the bridge. The SGC in return promised not to interfere with the herd, or explore in any area the herd wished to occupy.

Alexander had asked them if they could speak further about a simple observation of the herd by SGC zoologists and biologists. The Kaabani were overwhelmingly pleased by the fascination with the herd and Alexander didn't see any complication ahead with that plan.

Only Matrid had continued to watch Daniel closely, as if wondering exactly what the young man had done to influence the herd. It was possible the mastaya had been put off by the unfamiliar buildings and scents coming from the camp. It was not something they had ever been asked to deal with. Given the option of a free pass to a new paradise of grass and water, Matrid was not the least surprised that they had turned east.

But he also suspected that Daniel had stacked the odds in favor of that movement somehow. He had no evidence of it. The camp had been emptied of personnel. No one had approached or made a sound. There had only been a small, unarmed group of SGC and Badani watching from the rise above the mine entrance and they had remained silent until the herd had turned away.

But in the end, Matrid decided he didn't care. His people didn't care. They had all been willing to lay down their lives for their beliefs. They were equally as relieved they wouldn't be asked to do so.

He had shaken Daniel's hand in the way of the Tauri and looked briefly into Daniel's innocent oddly sky-colored eyes. Then he had finally laughed and walked away to join the feast and celebration happening a floor below them in the Badani government building.

Daniel found himself alone in the room with Alexander, who was gathering papers and putting them back into a leather case.

His future father-in-law looked up at him.

"My daughter's faith in you seems well founded, Daniel," Alexander said.

Daniel deflected the compliment, as he always did. "You seem to have single-handedly prevented a religious riot, "he said; and this was something for which he admired Alexander greatly. Words were important to Daniel. Using them to incite peace was important to him as well, "Jillian is just as proud of you."

To Daniel's surprise, Alexander looked away and sighed.

"Is she?"

Daniel's senses came alive. He had been relaxed, relieved by the peaceful end of a potentially horrible situation. Now all his instincts told him he was about to be dragged into something deeply personal going on between the two people who would be his future family.

He put all the certainty and sincerity he could into his answer.

"Yes," Daniel said, "she is."

Alexander sighed and turned away to look out a window at the city below.

"I've never been able to understand how she feels about me, Daniel," he admitted, "She's always been reserved, distant. I've never been able to give her a hug that she doesn't just tolerate as long as she has to; or to get her to talk to me. I always thought it was just _her_; that she isn't demonstrably affectionate. But now I see her with… not just you but with her team and she's different. She sparkles, laughs. She clearly loves all of you very much. But I don't get that from her anymore. There was a time, yes. When she was little and I would come home and she would run to greet me…"

Alexander stopped, sighed again and raked his fingers through his hair, struggling against the memory of his little girl's joy and the feeling of her slim arms around his neck. "She blames me for her mother's death. I know that; but I don't know how to fix it."

"What?" Daniel said, startled.

Alexander turned and found Daniel staring at him in confusion.

"She blames me for her mother's death," Alexander repeated, miserably.

Daniel took a long deep breath. He was torn between violating Jillian's privacy and needing to clear up misunderstandings that were causing more grief than necessary.

"Sir," he began, "Alex, Jillian and I don't talk about any of this very often. But I _know_ for a fact, without any doubt that Jillian doesn't blame her mother's death on anything but that disease. She doesn't blame you at all."

Now it was Alexander who looked confused. "Then why does she hate me so much?"

Daniel shook his head and released a dismissive breath. "She doesn't hate you."

Alex stood up straighter. "Daniel…."

He stopped again when Daniel held up his hand in a gesture that asked for a moment to think. Alex knew he was wondering how much of what Jillian had shared with him in private was now something he could tell his future father-in-law. He exhaled slowly when the decision was made.

"Jillian is angry with you for sending her to school in England. She thinks you abandoned her because she looks too much like her mother and you didn't want her around anymore."

Shock descended on Alexander's features. He began to shake visibly and finally sought one of the chairs. He sank into it as if his bones were melting.

"Oh my god," he whispered, horrified. "Oh my god, Baby Girl…"

Daniel was a little shaken himself by Alex's reaction. He went to a side table, poured a glass of water and brought it to him.

"I don't have anything stronger," he apologized.

Alex took the glass with a trembling hand and drank a little. His voice was hoarse as he pushed words through his aching throat. "She really believes that?"

"You didn't know?" Daniel asked.

"My _god_, Daniel. NO!" he answered. "She _does_ look like her mother. But that's a blessing. It's a gift. I still get to look into those beautiful eyes, see that wonderful smile even if it isn't for me anymore….."

Alexander stopped, swallowed and closed his eyes.

Daniel sat down across from him. "Why _did_ you send her to boarding school?" he asked.

Alex leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. "You know her, Daniel. You know how brilliant she is. She was like that even as a child. At two she looked out the window of our apartment and announced in flawless French 'there's a red bird at the feeder.' When she was four she came back from a trip to the museum and drew a detailed reproduction of the statues in the Egyptian Hall. We could never keep with her. It was dinosaurs one week. Space the next. It wasn't an issue. She had her mother, who was equally brilliant. Her mother was her teacher, her mentor. I was in awe of how easily she kept up with Jillian. We were devoted to that little girl, Daniel. Don't let anyone ever tell you we weren't. But her mother spent far more time with her than I did.

"Then," Alexander paused and took a long shaky breath, "Then there was the disease and the toll it took on all of us was immense. My wife faded away before my eyes. My child became more and more withdrawn."

The painful memory choked off the words again.

"Jillian told me once that she watched her mother die by inches," Daniel said, softly.

Alex looked up at him with haunted eyes. "Did she? She's right. That's exactly what it was like and I couldn't stop it."

"It wasn't your fault either," Daniel said.

"I know," he answered helplessly, "After her mother died, I took Jillian to Beijing. I thought a fresh start, a new place to capture her attention, a new language… I wanted all that to help her. I focused on my work so much that by the time I noticed my daughter again she was running wild. She was withdrawn and defiant. She was running away. She had no interest in school or learning. She was hanging out with a group of kids I didn't approve of and learning Mandarin phrases that shocked me. I didn't know what to do with her Daniel. I barely knew what to do with myself.

"I found a school in England that actually offered math and science to girls; and it was blessedly in the middle of absolutely no where so that if she ran off at least she wouldn't be found in an alley somewhere. Leaving her there was the hardest thing I have ever done….. Second hardest. The first was burying my wife."

Alexander ground to a rough halt and silence fell in the room for a while. Daniel was fighting an ache in his throat that prevented him from speaking. There was far too much he shared in common with this man when it came to loss and pain.

And his heart was breaking for his fiancé and all the decades of misunderstanding.

When he cleared it he said, "You need to tell her this."

"I can't believe she doesn't know," Alexander said sadly.

"She doesn't," Daniel told him, with a sad shake of his head, "She was a child then, a child in a great deal of pain. Her understanding and her memories are very different from yours."

Alexander stood up. "Do you know where she is?"

"Probably at the reception," Daniel said, standing as well. "Do you want to go find her?"

"Yes," Alexander said, "Yes I do. Right now."

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	109. Chapter 109

Jillian was standing with a group, some of the Kaabani, some of the SGC. Scotty was near her and she was grinning at him as if they had just shared a joke.

As if connected to him by invisible lines, she turned to look at Daniel as he came through the door with her father.

One look at Alexander and the smile on her face froze. He looked stunned, as if he was getting up from a zat strike. She excused herself from the group and hurried towards them.

"What's wrong?" she asked, glancing anxiously at Alexander but then pointedly at Daniel.

"Nothing," Daniel said, "Nothing immediate anyway. No one's bleeding or dying or missing. Okay?"

"Okay?" she said, hesitantly.

Daniel took her elbow and steered her out of the room, down the hall and out onto a small balcony with Alexander trailing in their wake.

The day was drifting towards sunset. The sun was low on the horizon and ducking behind wispy clouds.

Daniel faced Jillian and put his hands on her forearms, rubbing gently.

"I love you," he said, "So there's something I think you need to know."

"Okay?" she said, again.

"Your father thinks you blame him for your mother's…death," Daniel said, bluntly.

"What?" Stunned Jillian shook Daniel off and turned to her father. "Dad? How could you think that?"

"How could you think that I _wanted_ to leave you in England?" he asked, in return. His voice was bleeding with pain.

"Didn't you?" she demanded, "I was causing trouble, embarrassing you at your new post and we both know how much I look like mom…"

"Jillian!" Alex said. "Stop. Please. For gods' sake, I've spent my whole life talking and straightening out misunderstandings and I can't talk to my own daughter. "

She took a breath so sharp it seemed that her heart might be splintering and then let it out. Their relationship had always been prickly, intense. Those emotions had formed the foundation of what they had left after Jillian's mother had died.

That foundation was being rocked to its core and both their hearts would have to finish breaking before a new one could be built.

"I _never_ blamed you for mom's death," she said, fiercely, "That was _not_ your fault and I knew it. But I needed you and you left me. I lost both my parents to that disease."

Tears filled Jillian's eyes and she had to stop talking.

"And I lost both my girls," Alexander said softly.

Jillian choked on a sob and looked away. She folded her arms across her waist, hands clenched around her arms.

"It had nothing to do with how much you look like your mother," Alexander went on, "and you weren't causing trouble or embarrassing me. I was scared for you. I didn't know what to do Jillian. I thought I made the best possible choice for you. I put you back with women who could serve as role models. I put you in an academic environment. But I tore what was left of my heart out to do it. You were all I had."

Tears were running silently down Jillian's face. Daniel stepped closer and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Jillian," Alexander stopped for a moment and wiped his sleeves across his eyes, "You do look like your mother and I am so _blessed_ by that. I still remember the day I took you to that school. I remember the car I rented and I remember you sitting in the front seat in one of your mother's sweaters and a pair of jeans, some battered tennis shoes. You had hair all the way to your hips then, do you remember? You had this leather band around your forehead, but I still couldn't see your face for all of it. I remember just wanting to look into your eyes one more time, into your mother's eyes but you got out of the car so fast, even before I could turn off the engine…"

Daniel felt a shiver run the length of Jillian's body. He hugged her a little tighter but there was really nothing he could do to help anymore. He had started this but they had to finish it.

"I remember," she said, softly, "It was raining. When we got to the school the BeeGees were singing _Tragedy_ on the radio. I remember you turned it off as we pulled into the parking lot."

Alexander smiled weakly. "I don't remember that."

They stared at each other across the short distance and the space became filled with all the hopes and pleas and regrets for dozens of years, lost, that neither of them could put into words. It caught them both unguarded.

Then Jillian choked, "Daddy", ran to him and flung her arms around his neck.

Daniel saw the moment's hesitation before Alex's eyes slid closed in relief. He put his arms around her and held her tight and pressed his teary eyes into her hair.

"My _god_, Baby Girl, I never meant for you to think I didn't want you. I'm so sorry, Jillian. I'm so sorry. I'm supposed to be a diplomat, a communicator. I'm supposed to be an adult! Above this level of miscommunication," he pushed her back and took her face between his hands, "Can you forgive me?"

"You didn't _do_ anything," she answered, sniffing and wiping her fingertips under her eyes, "I made up a bunch of things in my own head that weren't even real and blamed you all this time. You're a diplomat? I speak fifteen languages and still managed to just not ever _talk_ you about this," She hugged him again, hiding her face in his shoulder, "Daddy, I'm so sorry."

Alex stroked his hand down her hair. "It's okay. It's okay. We straightened it out now."

Daniel took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes until they were dry enough for him to see again. He folded his arms and leaned back against the balcony railing. He was content to watch her in her father's embrace and let them finish murmuring nonsense and apologies.

He was profoundly relieved a moment later to realize that for some reason, now, he no longer felt the need to protect Jillian from her own father.

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	110. Chapter 110

"You're really not upset? That I told your dad…." " Daniel's voice danced into her ear, curled around inside her head, a hopeful sentence delivered in 'adorableness' the way only Daniel could deliver it.

He'd flip out if he ever found out that was what she'd labeled that particular tone of voice. It was a sweetness that no two hundred pound, six foot plus adult man should be allowed but he got away with it all the time; especially with her.

She snuggled against him. Her back was resting on his chest. His legs were drawn up around her. His arms were around her and his hands were….well, one hand was…oh…_oh._

"Would your hand be where it is if I was?" she asked.

He exhaled a short laugh. She could feel the smile pulling at his lips as they trickled down her neck and back up until they were behind her ear again.

They were seated on the grass by one of the many waterfalls in the Sacred Grove. It was tumbling happily into a bright pool surrounded by lush plants and bright flowers. A short time ago attendants had come by and lit hundreds of floating lanterns in the pools and streams. A rich moon, nearly full was rising in the distance.

Jillian had insisted that Daniel needed to see the Grove he had helped to save before they returned home. They had left the reception and come here, deliberately leaving their radios behind. They'd walked, hand in hand, through stands of trees that had obviously been there for hundreds of years and under trees with softly draped branches that reminded them of willows. Gentle breezes had changed from warm until it was kissed with a chill that announced the coming evening. Gradually, peacefulness had settled over both of them. Daniel had let go of the tension that had consumed him even after the plan had been successful. Walking through the Grove he had been struck all over again with how horrible it would have been for two thousand mastodons to trample through here. What the herd had done just to the river bed had been unimaginable and the Air Force Corp of Engineers was already at work repairing it.

The Grove would have been destroyed beyond redemption.

Jillian was getting over the shock of suddenly having a whole new relationship with her father. Two and half decades of silence and misunderstanding had come crashing down in a matter of moments.

It was a lot to take in.

Finding a secluded grassy place they had sat down together with some unspoken understanding. Daniel realized now that whatever reason they had given for seeing the Grove, they had really come in here to relax with each other. He no longer sought solitude to recover from stress. Not all the time anyway. Sometimes he sought solitude with Jillian; and that was just short of amazing.

They had wrapped up together in a 'seated spoon'. He'd cuddled her for a moment before his hand slipped under her jacket and became instantly fascinated by the shape and contours of her breasts beneath her cotton T. She'd shivered a little and he'd hesitated. But she'd sighed in pleasure and pulled her jacket a little tighter, trapping his hand inside.

Oh_ god_ that felt good. The brush of his thumb back and forth, teasing the space between them, his fingers moving from where the cotton lay against her skin to the place where lace and satin intervened; his gentle, hungry mouth against the skin of her neck reminding her what it felt like when he did that elsewhere.

He had made no attempt to get her shirt out of the way at all and didn't seem as if he wanted to. He seemed utterly content to touch just like this. His long, sensual fingers traced the scalloped edge of her bra.

"What color is this one?" he asked.

"According to the order form it's 'Georgia peach'," she answered.

"I love you in that color," he murmured, his breath warm in her ear.

"Is there one you don't li…. _Oh,"_ her voice broke as his hand cupped her, his thumb brushing back and forth.

"Should I stop?"

His voice was like a drug, she decided and she was hopelessly addicted to it. She was mesmerized by Daniel's voice, by the play of his finger back and forth, by his reverent appreciation of her body.

"No," she said. "But remember where we are."

They weren't alone in the evening-lit garden. It was a popular place for strolling and they weren't the only lovers who had staked out lovely spots to sit and cuddle.

"We're in one of the most stunning places I have ever seen," he acknowledged.

"One you helped save," she pointed out.

She felt the exhalation against her neck, the self-mocking undertone of it.

"Nature did that," he said, "I just helped it along. We all did."

He'd never take any more credit for what had happened on 822. Jillian knew that so she let it go. She found his other hand, where it was resting on her hip, holding her close. She closed her fingers over it and used her thumb to give a gentle, sultry stroke across the back of it. She felt Daniel shudder a little and swallow hard and knew she'd been successful in getting him to imagine how that would feel across the tip of his cock, soft skin on soft skin, insistent and erotic. She did it a few more times, reminding him of the strength of her hands and the joy she found in touching him.

He pressed his forehead against her hair and she drank in the long sweet melody of Daniel's helpless moan.

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

"I want to go home," he said, "_Home_ home, to the house. I want to lock the door and turn out the lights and get into bed with you, preferably naked, with as much of you up against me as we can manage; and then I want to spend a long time touching and kissing and holding and just _being _with you."

Jillian shivered a little and wondered if it was possible to climax from the sound of his voice and what he was saying. To deflect it she turned a little so that she could see him in profile, cast him a mischievous smile and said,

"So my plan to push you up against the wall in our quarters and go down on you as soon as we got back is out of the question?"

The hand on her breast tightened. The hand on her hip tightened. Another hard shudder went through him. He had been controlling his own physical reaction pretty well. He really had been hoping for the long slow gentle session of love making that he hadn't gotten a few days ago back at the Base. Now in the last year of his thirties, he was a long way from the days of his first sexual encounters, overeager and nervous by turns, equally uncertain about what to do and being positive about what he wanted. The longer they had stayed here indulging in nothing but sweet intimate caresses the more content he had been to just stay, to soak in the serenity.

"God _damn_, Jillian, do you want me to be able to get up and walk out of here?" he choked and then nosed into her hair and murmured teasingly, "What is it with you and rough sex all of a sudden?"

"Who said anything about rough?" she asked, in a low sultry whisper, "I was planning on something slow, drawing it out until I had you whimpering and begging. I've been thinking about what it feels like to tease you, to taste you, since we sat down."

"Have _mercy,_ Jill," he said and realized he was already whimpering and begging.

She turned a little more, cupped the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss, but she let him lead it. Honestly Daniel wasn't quite ready to trade this comfortable interlude for the long walk back to the reception, the inevitable round of goodbyes and gratitude, then the trip back to the Star Gate, the bright ordered confusion of the Gate Room, the drive to their house…

He didn't quite want to move; not even with promise of Jillian in bed with him, sliding into it next to him, even though the slide of her tender skin against him was going to be unimaginable ecstasy and now he wanted her so much he could barely breathe.

Her fingers whispered along his thigh, slowly, higher until they had reached the creased where it connected to his hip.

"We should go home," she said, when he finished thoroughly kissing her.

"Yeah," he said, but he didn't sound certain about that at all. "This is nice though."

"It is," she agreed.

"We can just stay here for a while and kiss?"

She nodded, her lips still close to his and smiling softly. "Okay."

He put both arms around her as she turned towards him, found her mouth with his and felt her melt against him.

The spent the next hour comfortably aroused, content in each other's presence, in love, and in no hurry.

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	111. Chapter 111

O'Neill sat in the truck with the crossword on the steering wheel, tapping it with the pencil and wondering why he was sitting here doing this when he knew he was already late.

It had started as a lark – Carter challenging him to the NY Times crossword. He'd taken the bet, even knowing he was playing her. If he didn't know the answer, he would just find the answer. O'Neill was a firm believer that you didn't need to know something. You just needed to know how to find it. It was one of the reasons he had surrounded himself with the best and brightest minds in the SGC. Every member of his team was gifted in one field or another and O'Neill could call on each one of them at will.

Then he had seized on the insane idea of riling Carter up by filling in gag solutions that all made sense in a twisted way and still lined up perfectly.

That had now proved harder than he'd thought it would be; mostly because he kept wanting to fill in words that were all about her, all about how he felt, subtle clues. For example he'd really wanted to write Samantha for 12 down – one of the natural wonders of North America – but it didn't fit. No version of her name fit and besides that wasn't even subtle. He'd erased it and put Coors Brewery.

There were a lot of places on the crossword where something had been erased.

Eighteen across was 'a synonym for unrequited'. He'd been ignoring it since figuring out that Shanahan didn't fit.

He'd been staring at the crossword without seeing it long enough for the truck to start warming up inside. He'd been fine earlier, getting ready for work, right on time. He was a jerk at times but he was always where he said he would be and when he said he would be there. He wasn't like this. What the hell was wrong with him?

Then Daniel had called and casually said, "Repository….Ancients…"

And even Daniel should know better than to blindside a guy with something like that. It wasn't like Jack called him and just casually said, _So remember that time you were dying in excruciating agony from radiation poisoning?_

Trying to short circuit the phone in the sink and cut Daniel off hadn't worked. Trying to make Daniel complicit in cheating on the puzzle hadn't helped because then he'd thought about Carter. He'd forged ahead as if his stomach wasn't doing the twist.

He had no idea what time it was when he finally got out of the truck and entered the elevator that would plunge him underground. It must have been a lot later than he realized because he found the three of them standing at the door like disapproving parents waiting for a teenager – a gauntlet of frustrated eyes, hands on hips, watch tapping and snarky remarks.

"Hammond's waiting."

_Crap._

He pushed past them with more bravado than he was feeling, handing off the crossword to her with a cocky smile.

There was something humorous in that her outrage over his answers was more potent than her outrage over his lateness.

Hammond's pointed 'nice of you to join us' cut though. Jack knew he deserved more than that. He'd have cut an Airman to ribbons for being this late. Hammond really did give him too much leash sometimes. He was going to have to be extra good to make up for it.

Then Hammond remarked that he was surprised Jack was willing to risk something like this new mission and Jack stared for a second. Who had said anything about a mission? With his team? Who said _anything_ about willing? It was a mission. It was necessary. It was what they _did_. What was he supposed to say? _No, I still have nightmares and flashbacks from the last time. No I won't risk myself or Daniel or …or…or Carter. So send someone else this time!_

He tried to focus on the conversation. He baited Daniel, something he could do in his sleep. Then he abruptly registered that Daniel was in a pissy mood.

A _really_ pissy mood.

He tried to listen to Daniel describe all the reasons this was a good idea with words like knowledge and known universe. Then Sam's voice was hitting his ear and his nerve endings and even though the horror of what she was saying was much too personal for him, her voice was like an aria.

_I don't want to leave her,_ he thought. That's what all this was. He felt it all over now, with a quiet desperate certainty. No matter what else she was or would ever be to anyone she, she was _his_ 21C and that wouldn't change any time soon.

But this mission filled him with a cold, miserable sense of dread. He tamped it down with effort and tried for sarcasm, lobbing an 'easy fella' at Daniel in response to Daniel's suggestion they had primitive physiology.

It was a minor mistake. When Jack looked at Daniel he knew Daniel could tell something was wrong. He probably also knew what it was. His sympathy for Jack would only go so far in the face of saving the world.

Was that the source of the mood?

_Christ, O'Neill!_ He berated himself, _fucking focus here._

Was Daniel was planning on sacrificing himself and counting on his formerly Ascended mind to be able to handle it?

_Over my dead body,_ Jack thought.

Which was exactly how this might go, because he'd be damned if any other member of his team was going to sacrifice their gifted minds to science, even if the whole fucking galaxy would go down in flames .

For the rest of the briefing he was appropriately attentive – eyes off Carter, no more snarking at Daniel. Hammond gave them a go and he stood up and shook himself out of his funk.

There was a job to do and he'd faced worse. This time they knew what was coming. This time they were prepared. He desperately wanted to leave Carter – and Daniel – for that matter behind. But he would need Daniel to read the inscriptions and Carter to figure out how to get it out of the wall undamaged; and he and Teal'c would protect them with their own lives because that's how his team worked.

Daniel gave him a funny little look as the room emptied, head down, eyes over his glasses.

"What?" Jack snapped and Daniel blinked and said, "What?"

But their eyes met and clashed and sent the same message.

_I won't let you do it._

This time Jack blinked. He made a low growling sound in his throat and then said,

"Get geared up, Daniel," as he stalked out of the room.

Daniel's snotty answer floated down the stairs in his wake. "Yes, _sir_."

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**A/N This will open the missing scenes and additions to Lost City. This is a very complex episode with a lot going on. These chapters may become their own stand alone story so the focus won't entirely be on Daniel and Jillian.**


	112. Chapter 112

Jack might not have picked up on it immediately but he was right. Daniel was in a pissy mood. Finding the information that would lead them to another repository and calling Jack had gone well. Jack had been cautious, as Daniel had expected but hadn't made any objections. Daniel had Hammond on his side already, so he hadn't been too worried about Jack's attitude.

But then he had told Jillian and they'd had their first real serious no-obvious-way to work-this-out fight. There'd been no raised voices. Not really; though Daniel suspected Jillian had kept her voice under control with an effort and only because they were at work and the door was open.

She'd been sitting at the end of the table, working on her laptop, searching through endless files and webpages in an attempt to find script similar to what was on the tablet. He knew she was bored and tired of looking. It was the least glamorous and interesting part of their job and Jillian didn't really like to sit for very long. He'd been working on the images from P3X-439 and yes, okay, fine, he _should _have told her what he found in the writing first, before calling Jack and having her find out by listening to him tell O'Neill.

He'd hung up and fallen straight into her disapproving frown.

He had rushed into an explanation, asked her to look at his findings, which she had declined. He had watched her mood change from bored to wary and no amount of speed talking about the importance of the discovery and the need to go there immediately had distracted her.

"So you want to go there?" she asked, wanting clarification not because she hadn't understood perfectly well what he had been saying.

He'd looked down in what he hoped looked like submission.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Don't do that!"

"What?"

"_That!_ That passive/aggressive thing you do with Jack that makes him crazy. Don't do it to me."

He'd sat up, startled. He tried not to ever play games with Jillian. But she was right. That's exactly what he'd been trying to do. He looked her straight in the eye and said,

"Yes I think we should go there. I think we should do whatever it takes to get the repository out of the wall and bring it back here to extract as much information as possible."

"And what's Plan B?"

"Plan B?"

"Daniel!"

He'd held up his hands. "Not passive/aggressive!"

"Yes it is! You know Plan A never works! So if you can't get that thing out of the wall, what then?"

"Well I don't know…"

She'd cut him off abruptly. "_Tā māde niǎo. _Yes you do. We both know what you'll do."

"I'll do whatever I have to, to keep you safe."

"Don't make this about me."

"Everything is about you!"

"Not this time. I know what Anubis took from you. I'm not sure this is about me. I'm not even sure it's about Earth. You were willing to accept whatever punishment the Ancients inflicted on you for trying to stop Anubis. You'll accept whatever happens to you this time too, because of what Anubis did to Abydos."

"You think I'll stick my head in that thing," Daniel had said bluntly, letting them both drown in the words he'd been trying not to say.

"Deny it!" She flung the words at him as a challenge.

It had hung in the air like a suspended lightning strike, powerful and awful. He'd finally broken eye contact with her and looked at the ground.

"_Nǐ èr dàyé de_," she whispered.

"I don't have an uncle," Daniel said.

"Daniel," she said, impatiently. "You're not Ascended anymore."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

"Yes!"

The way she could glare at him was really horrible he decided. He suddenly wished desperately that she didn't love him. He was too high risk. He could stand almost any pain now. His life had been a series of body-blows, ten rounds in the ring and he was still on his feet. But he couldn't stand the pain of knowing what his death had done to her.

"But you think that because you once were you could handle the repository. You think there's some part of your brain that still knows all this and this will just trigger suppressed memories, but Daniel, you're _wrong."_

He was used to people telling he was wrong. It had happened for most of his adult life. Even Jillian occasionally had passionate professional disagreements with him. This was different somehow.

He took a deep breath, amazed by quickly intense pain could flare between them where understanding and passion had always been.

"We don't know that," he said.

"Yes we do!" Her voice had started going up a little at that point, "I _saw_ you when you were Ascended. You _do_ remember some of it Daniel. You told me you did. You said you remember being able to fill the galaxy the way the light from a single bulb fills a room. I _saw_ you like that. That's what you have to be to accept the information and once you have it you won't be able to do anything to help anyway!"

"I'm not going to commit suicide over this, Jillian!"

"Aren't you?"

"I won't do that to you."

The hesitation in her eyes, the denial and the doubt sliced him like a razor wire. He stood up and started towards her. She had leaped off the stool and walked away from him and hit his raw nerves all over again. He had been certain she was going to walk out the door but she turned around again and wrapped her arms across her waist and stood there shaking.

"Jill," he began.

"I would like to believe you," she said, "but I think that might be the first lie you ever told me. I don't think this is about me. I already told you that. This is personal for you. This is one of your demons, Daniel and you don't fight your demons. You surrender to them in the name of getting what you want and in this case you won't be satisfied until Anubis is annihilated."

"You think that's more important to me than you are?"

Jillian let out a deep, trembling sigh, continuing to hug herself in a gesture that was far too familiar.

"I wish I could be sure," she'd replied.

Daniel had been helpless to answer back. He had winced and looked away. In a lot of ways she was right. He _was_ going to do whatever it took; and if it meant downloading the Ancient knowledge into his descended brain then he would.

It would mean that Jillian would have to translate for him. She was the only one who spoke Ancient out loud as fluently as he did. It meant that Jillian would have to watch him die the way she had watched her mother die – by inches.

It would mean that the Earth would be saved on the sacrificial altar of their relationship.

When their eyes met again that conversation had passed between them unspoken.

Something had drained out of her, some spark of life and maybe even hope.

"When you get back," she said, "I'll do whatever you need me to do."

He'd felt his eyes go wide with surprise but before he could form an answer she had turned and this time she did walk out the door.

He hadn't seen her since and had no real idea where she was. He looked for her in the Control Room before going through the Gate but she wasn't there.

It was the first time they had not seen each other before one of them left. Provided the other wasn't already off world, they _always_ kissed and held each other for a moment and took the presence and love and support of the other along for the dizzying ride to another world.

This time Daniel took a heart broken into a dozen pieces, knowing he might very well break hers.

Hours later he was under heavy fire and being slammed up against a colonnade with Jack demanding to know who would translate when he went Ancient and the unspoken, horrible answer was _Jillian._ Daniel had hesitated for barely a second but it was all the time that Block-ops trained Jack needed to act.

They'd dragged Jack to the Gate amidst weapons fire and explosions and chaos and Jack had finally regained consciousness and they got him home and to the infirmary and the team had listened in helplessness as everyone agreed there was nothing they could do but wait, keep trying to contact allies, be ready for whatever happened.

When he had turned away he found Jillian standing in the doorway of the infirmary. She had made eye contact with him slowly, her steady gaze a mixture of wariness and sorrow, longing and stubborn defiance.

Riding a surge of pain and need he erased the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. Pulled her close, threaded a hand into her hair and dragging her head against his chest. He felt her slender body tense for just a moment. A tremor went through her and then she melted. Her body went liquid and molded to his in a sudden willing curve of backbone. Her arms slipped around his neck.

Daniel turned his face into her hair and inhaled to swallow the need to give into tears. If he started he might not be able to stop. He'd been wired for hours and now Jack….

_Jack. Goddammit Jack._

"I love you," he choked, breathing it into her ear, into her heart, seeking the part of her soul that was the twin of his.

To his great relief he felt her fingers gently stroke the edge of his hair where it lay on his neck.

"I love you too," she whispered softly, and then kept the promise she had made before he left, "Tell me what you need me to do."

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	113. Chapter 113

**The purpose of Sunshine and Shadow is to tell the story of Daniel and Jillian. But Lost City is much too all-encompassing for just the two of them. Most of this chapter is Jack and Sam and will be cross-posted to Moonlight and Steel.**

**(0)**

The door of their quarters opened and Jillian sat up straighter. She was cross legged on the bed, with her laptop open. She and Daniel had been working ever since he'd returned, searching through texts, looking for any reference at all to humans interacting with Ancient Repositories. He had left a little bit ago, she assumed in search of coffee.

Now he opened the door and stuck his head in and said,

"Teal'c and I are going to head over to Jack's."

Jillian absorbed that for a moment and then said, "Good."

"Do you want to come?"

"No. It's your team, Daniel. Not mine."

Daniel's eyes met hers across the room. He knew she loved Jack like a brother and this was just about killing her too. But she was also right about it being SG1.

"Okay," he said, "Let me drop you off at home at least. I don't want you to stay here and work."

Jillian's fingers tapped over her keyboard. She closed the lid and stood up.

"_Tha_t I will let you do," she said, wearily.

(0)

Daniel's phone rang – or at least it started chiming the unmistakable chorus of a Righteous Brothers hit song. He got it out as he stood.

"That's Jillian," he said, "Excuse me for a sec."

As he walked past General Hammond on his way to the dining room and some semblance of privacy Jack said,

"Unchained Melody?"

"Shut up, Jack," Daniel said, then into the phone, "Jill? Is everything all right? ….Yes, we heard…. He's here actually."

Anything else Daniel was going to say got muffled as he moved into the dining room.

"So what does hers play when he calls?" Jack asked.

Every eye in the room turned to Sam, who looked back wide eyed and swallowed.

"It used to be something by Lesley Gore called _Danny_ but it drove him nuts. So she changed it," she said.

When it was clear that Sam wasn't going to say anything else, Jack prompted, "And now it's…."

Teal'c answered in a deep rumble, "A bagpipe rendition of _Danny Boy.__"_

"And that _doesn't_ drive him nuts?" Jack asked.

"I did not say that," Teal'c replied.

Sam spoke up again, "I think he's afraid of what she might pick next."

"Ah," Jack said, "and did she pick Unchained Melody?"

"They're experimenting with songs to use for their first dance," Sam said, "She keeps sending him different ones."

Her voice was light and dismissive but it went through Jack's heart like a dull saw blade. He was supposed to stand next to Daniel at a wedding in four months. He took a long healthy swallow of Guinness and was glad Daniel was out of the room.

After Daniel came back into the room, the pizza arrived and Jack raided his kitchen for every bit of junk food he could find. They talked and swapped stories about the Air Force Academy and Daniel had done what he did best – pretend to be stoned on a couple of beers, guiding the conversation away from the two five hundred pound gorillas in the room – Jack's slowly disintegrating brain and what they were ever going to do without Hammond - keeping things light and making a horrible situation somehow tolerable.

On any other day Jack would have found that unbelievably annoying and called Daniel on it. Today it was somehow endearing.

_I wanted to be at your wedding, Daniel, I really did…_

They'd eaten and played cards – _not _poker, not against a math genius and someone with the ability to keep his expression in permanent neutral. They scrolled through cable channels for a while and Jack left it on Discovery for a while just to listen to Daniel have a fit at the 'scientists' and their current ancient aliens theories. Sam joined in on the complaining. It was automatic and Jack knew it. Neither member of his 'science department' expected much from TV anymore. But when they were at Jack's, relaxing and detoxing and letting things be ordinary in their extraordinary lives, then they let their thoughts run free.

Jack wondered where they would go now for these kinds of evenings. Daniel's probably…

Hammond left just after night had settled over the suburban rancher. The other three had lingered long enough for another couple of rounds of gin rummy and then Daniel said he had probably left Jillian alone long enough. Daniel had given Teal'c a questioning look and got a raised eyebrow and single inclination of his head in reply. He pulled out his phone and hit 'one' on the speed dial.

"Yeah, it's me," he said into it, "Teal'c's going to drive me home and stay with us. Okay? ….. No, I'm fine but I don't want to drive….. Yeah, I know it's already late. We're leaving in a little bit…..I love you, too."

Jack walked to the front door with them and Daniel turned abruptly, standing maybe a little too close and his expression maybe a little too intense.

"I'm sorry about this, Jack, "he said, "I know you really wanted to be alone but Teal'c …. Teal'c was going on and on about camaraderie and honor. Well, on and on for _him…."_

"Daniel," Jack interrupted, "It's okay. It was… fine."

He reached for Daniel's hand, clasped it and pulled him into a classic A-frame man-hug – shoulders touching, one arm around each other briefly – and broke apart quickly.

"We'll fix this," Daniel said, fiercely.

"Go home, Daniel," Jack said, "Get some sleep."

Jack got a firmly gasped forearm style good bye from Teal'c and then they were gone and he was alone with Carter.

It felt right. His life had begun again seven years earlier when she had walked into the Briefing Room and he had looked into those incredible eyes for the first time. Perhaps it had begun a few days earlier then he'd been on the roof watching Mars and thinking about Pathfinder and a dark sedan had pulled up in his driveway.

But really, for him, the important part – the part where Sam Carter was in his life and at his side – had started in that room that day. The moment had crackled with something like electricity, a charged clash of personalities, attraction and resistance in equal measure. It had been a lightning strike of recognition and forbidden desire that had jump started his heart after years of having it lie dormant and forgotten.

Kowalsky had teased him about it for days, said that if you looked closely you could see the scorch marks on the walls.

Jack figured they were still there.

It made sense, somehow, that it would end with the two of them together.

Shanahan notwithstanding…..

Sam was in the living room clearing empties off the coffee table. Jack rescued the last bottle of stout before she could sweep it up with the rest and followed her into the kitchen. He watched her rinsing bottles and putting them in a separate black garbage bag for recycling and realized that for him this is how it's always been. She was helping him clean up after company. The way a roommate might… or a spouse.

She was also unusually quiet. He stepped up next to her and helped rinse glasses and dishes that had been there for days and put them in the dishwasher.

He knew they couldn't talk about what she had come to talk about. The very fact that he had resisted had been his answer. She'd tried to ask him about Sara and he knew she wondered if someone had called to tell Sara what was happening and if Sam had really thought they were going to go _there_ then she had been sadly mistaken.

He'd sat there wishing desperately that the phone would ring, or a smoke alarm would go off or a nuclear holocaust would descend on them. Because his career maybe didn't matter anymore, probably was over for good short of a miracle. But hers _did._ Sam Carter was destined to be so much more than the woman who helped Jack O'Neill clean up after company. He be damned if he would be the one who stood in her way or said something stupid and screwed that up for her.

So they sat there with their military oaths and Shanahan and seven years of history filling up the silence.

Then he skirted sideways around the issue when she said she should have done it. He gave her the only compliments he could, called her a national treasure and said that saving the planet would make all this worth it. Maybe something in the way he said it that wasn't sarcasm or a flip attempt at bravado; maybe it was because he had spoken with something close to actual honesty….

But their eyes had met for a fraction of a second and they had seen each other with utter clarity.

Then there had been the knock on the door he'd been praying for earlier, the disingenuous 'hello?' and the rest of his team invading his privacy and the moment with Sam had been gone.

They finished cleaning up and Sam wiped her hands on a paper towel and tossed it into the garbage under the sink.

"I'll get out of your way now," she said, with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

Jack shrugged. "Stick around for a while," he said, "Come up and look at some stars with me."

_Christ,_ he thought, _nice job of keeping her from being able to leave with some dignity._

But her smile became brighter and she said she would like that.

He made a vague gesture at the outfit she was wearing.

"You might be cold," he hedged.

"I have a change of clothes in the trunk," she answered, "Stuff I forgot to leave in my quarters. I can change."

"Okay," he said, still feigning nonchalance.

The truth was he just wasn't ready for her to go.

She changed into sweats and they went up onto the roof deck. It was a clear night with a new moon, perfect for stargazing and Jack was monumentally glad he would get to have a night like this at least one more time.

And he would get to have it with her. They sat down and leaned on the rail, shoulder to shoulder and she reached a hand out for the bottle of stout with a questioning expression. He gave it to her. She put it against her lips and sipped from the rim, where his mouth had been a moment before, letting the dark liquid flow onto her tongue until there was enough for a mouthful. She closed her eyes as she lowered the bottle and swallowed.

Then she opened her eyes again, wiped the bottle on her sleeve, twisting it slightly and handed it back to him.

He took it from her without making eye contact, because he hadn't been able to take his eyes off her the whole time. He took a long drink from it and then let it dangle by the neck between his fingers.

He pointed to Alpha Centauri and identified it.

"Think we'll ever get there?" he asked.

"Not by Star Gate," she answered and that was all it took for the long discourse about how much the binary star system was like Earth's sun with respective masses of1.1 and 0.9 of the Sun's and how they never came closer to each other than a billion miles and there was plenty of room for environmentally habitable planets around them. By the time she got to gleefully telling him how they even shared the unlikely ratio of one atom of iron to 31,620 atoms of hydrogen, he had stopped really trying to follow what she was saying and simply gotten lost in her voice and her presence.

When she finally wound down he said, "Stay?"

"The night?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

He shrugged and knew she could feel it because they were sitting so close.

"Carpe noctem?" He'd meant it as a joke but it failed. Sam tensed and almost sat up. He got her around the shoulders and pulled her back. "Latin, not Ancient!" She relaxed but only slightly.

"Maybe someone should be here in the morning… in case," she said.

He nodded.

"But there's only one bed," she cautioned, "And neither of us fit on your couch."

Jack stood up and held out a hand to help her up.

"Come on," he said.

They went back to the house and he vanished into the second bedroom for a moment. She heard him rummaging around and when he came back he was carrying two rolled up sleeping bags.

"You got a toothbrush?" he asked.

"Travel one, in my purse," she answered.

She got what she needed and went into his guest bathroom. When she came back out he was on his lower deck rolling out the sleeping bags.

"This okay?" he asked.

She smiled. "Carpe noctem," she said and then shivered.

"Fastest way to get warm is to get in," Jack said, indicating one of the bags and scuttling into the other. "These are rated for the arctic."

Sam got in and lay on her back for a while staring up at the sky. It was almost alive with stars.

"Wow," she said, finally.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, "Nice night. Those are all yours you know. That's your playground. I'm leaving it all to you."

Sam let out a breath and felt the burn in her eyes and in the back of her throat. She turned her head to look at him and caught him with half his face in shadow and the rest bathed in starlight. He was looking at her with open, unguarded adoration.

"Goodnight, Carter," he said.

Sam had to swallow hard a few times because she could whisper, "Good night, sir."

(0)


	114. Chapter 114

Jillian met them at the door wearing the short dark blue kimono robe her father had sent her from Japan. Her legs and feet were bare and when Daniel put an arm around her shoulders and hung on heavily he caught the scent of shampoo and mint toothpaste.

Jillian hugged him back for a moment and then spun him in the direction of the bedroom, put a hand between his shoulder blades and shoved.

"Go get ready for bed," she said, "I'll be there in a minute."

Daniel mumbled something incoherent and staggered away.

Jillian looked at Teal'c. He looked equally as exhausted now that they were both safely home. Jillian gave him a brief grateful hug.

"Your things are still in the second drawer in the guest room dresser," she said.

Teal'c nodded once. They all had keys to each other's houses and clothes stashed there too. The tall dresser in the guest room was for SG1. The long one with the mirror was for SG8. In the crazy lives they led no one was ever completely sure where they might wind up. They had all automated and delegated their lives as much as possible – lawn services and cleaning services, direct deposit and automatic payments all designed to make sure routine maintenance didn't get neglected in the midst of interplanetary crisis.

As far as Sam knew the only ones who didn't keep clothes at each other's houses were Jack and Sam. It was another one of those unspoken things. Kinsey would look for anything to hang Jack out to dry, and if all of SG1 went down with him all the better.

Jillian was a little surprised it had been Sam who had stayed with Jack. She'd been betting all of them would and was a little amazed that Daniel was actually waiting for her in their bed.

She said good night to Teal'c and waited until she saw him disappear down the stairs that would take him to the guest room.

Daniel had left the light on. He was already asleep, face down on the mattress with his cheek pressed into a bunched up pillow. There was a trail of discarded clothes on the way to the bathroom. His glasses were on the nightstand still open. The sheet was pulled over his long legs as far as his hips. His back and shoulders were naked, a vast expanse of delicious skin and muscle sprawled in the middle of the bed.

Jillian gathered the discarded clothes on the floor and took them to the hamper. Then she took off her robe, hesitated a moment and then stripped out of her nightgown as well. She applied the same care to untangling the sheets that she gave to extricating rare antiquities from the earth and then slipped in beside him. Daniel – who woke up at the slightest shift in her breathing, whose eyes snapped open if a leaf fell onto the deck during the night – grumbled something but didn't wake.

She stretched out beside him, pulling the covers up the rest of the way and put her arm over his back. She put one leg over his and pressed until he yielded and twined his ankle over hers.

They hadn't made love in days, not since returning from 822 and certainly not since the argument before he left for 439. It didn't look like that was going to change tonight.

But it was a gift to be safe in bed with him. A deep tension drained away. The ache that had been inside of her since their argument days ago eased now. Daniel was sleep heavy and dense. His weight pressed down into the mattress and his warmth filled it. Daniel was with her reach. Daniel was asleep beside her. She could feel him breathe, the slow rise and fall of his back. She could feel his heart beating strong and steady. He was alive, and he was here. She fell asleep almost instantly.

She woke once for no reason that she could determine and found that Daniel had gotten up and gone into the bathroom. He came back a moment later, climbed into bed facing her and put his arm over her. She met him halfway and fit her body to his as if it had been shaped just for that purpose.

The room was pitch black.

"What time is it?" she murmured.

"Fuck o'clock," he grumbled, "Go to sleep."

The answer told her that he wasn't sleeping well at all. It made sense to her. He'd gone into a beer-induced coma the moment he hit the mattress and now he was having crazy stress-induced dreams. It took her a little while but she went back to sleep.

Some hours later Daniel turned abruptly in his sleep, cried out softly and thrashed. One hand pushed against her and then closed tightly around her arm and squeezed.

"Hey, it's me," she whispered.

He pulled her close again and said, "I know. I'm sorry. I don't know what that was."

"It's okay," she snuggled closer and realized Daniel was hard. She could feel his erection, long and thick, balls drawn up tight, against her thigh, the sensitive head nudging at her hip.

It wasn't unusual for that to happen to him several times during the night and the way he woke up in the morning could be considered legendary.

It wasn't morning. The room was still dark.

Jillian straightened her legs and pushed against him and was rewarded with a soft inhale.

"What do you need, _leannan_? Would this help you sleep?" she whispered. She'd put her hand on his chest at some point and now she brushed her thumb across a chill-hardened nipple and heard him inhale again.

"It's the middle of the night, "he protested, still sounding grumpy and sleepy. "It's okay, baby, go to sleep. I'm fine. Really." Jillian hooked her leg over his hip and pulled forward again, rubbed a little. Daniel groaned. "Oh…._oh. _No really. I don't know what's wrong with me. We don't have to…_uhn_…_"_ He broke off on a gasp as she trailed fingernails down his abs.

He was strung like a wire. All that power coiled inside his beautiful, muscled body, power he rarely used and was even now keeping in quiet check. His arms tightened a little around her lower back but he made no move to pull her closer.

Jillian grazed a thumb over the head of his cock and found soft skin and silky fluid.

"_Jill_," he gasped, "_oh god…."_ After that it sounded like he lost his ability to breathe.

To his shock she moved away, and came up on her elbow. He felt it more than saw it and he turned his face up towards the feel of her.

"Jill?"

"Turn over. Lay on your stomach," she said.

He did as he was told, shifting his hips to find a comfortable position. He folded his arms under the pillow and bunched it under his cheek.

"Light?" he asked with his voice muffled in the pillow.

"No," she was speaking in a low, sultry tone that was running straight from his ear to his groin. "This is better for now."

Her hands came down on his shoulders, ran across his skin for a moment and then settled into a deep, delicious massage. He'd woken up aching and so close to coming it would have pushed him right over the edge if Jillian had touched him even one more time. Even now it was a temptation to push down into the sheets and get some relief. But her hands worked down the knotted muscles of his back and took away some of the tension until the ache was sweet and bearable.

"You can fall asleep if you need," she whispered.

"You won't mind?"

"No," she said, leaning over to kiss the back of his neck.

Her hands slid over the small of his back, briefly shaped to the curve of his butt and over his hips on the way to his legs. She worked down one and then the other and, oh god but she had _great_ hands. Strong and capable and gentle all at once. In moments she had him floating in a suspension of pleasure and contentment.

He was almost asleep again when she moved, put her knee between his legs and pushed.

"Open up," she whispered.

He did and she knelt between his spread thighs, pushed them further apart with hers.

"Jill," he murmured in pure worship. _"Jill…."_

"Yeah," she answered in the same tone. "Same here. I love you."

Then she leaned over and kissed _that_ spot at the very base of his spine, right above the cleft between his cheeks. Robbed of anything visual he was struck by the feeling of her breasts against the place where his legs connected to his body and then her tongue was teasing that same spot and her fingers had found the place right behind his balls that drove him nearly wild and his hips arched up off the bed. His erection had been easing but now it came surging back with a vengeance.

Another few seconds of that and he was whimpering and fisting the pillow.

"Turn over again," she said, sitting up and moving out of the way.

He complied but when he tried to sit up and reach for her, groping to find her in the dark, she put her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back down.

"Relax, baby. Lie down."

His response was a short choked breath and then, "What about you?"

"This is all I need," she answered, quiet, low, gentle. "Just let me touch you."

He forced himself to relax as she had asked, made his hands lie flat at his sides in a gesture of raw abandon that she couldn't see.

Jillian leaned over and kissed the pulse at the base of his throat. Then she worked her way down his body with her mouth and hands like a sprinkle of feathers and raindrops and sweet torture. Daniel sank into the pleasure of it and let her take over. After all the stress of the last few weeks it was a relief to let someone else be in charge. He gave up trying to convince her that he should be kissing too, that he should be touching too.

She stroked and worshipped his chest and throat and shoulders, even his arms, running her fingers lightly over the sensitive skin inside his bicep and then her palms firmly over the muscled curves. His legs trembled and he grasped the sheets to keep from grabbing her. He'd never felt like this before, with anyone – so familiar, so well _known_, so well loved.

She was nearly to his hip and lower abs when she moved again, sat up and straddled him across his thighs.

"Is this all right?" she asked.

He nodded and then realized she couldn't see him. "Yes."

Jillian leaned over and brought her mouth close to his. "Be sure."

"I am. _Please_, baby."

"I just want to use my hand," she said, in spite of her present position, "Is that all right too?"

"Baby, whatever you want, just… please…. I'm dying here."

She settled on him finally, lowering her body in a slow erotic shift until she was pressed against the base of his cock and his balls. For the first time that night the low helpless groan in the room came from her.

_Gods, _she was drenched…

It was his last coherent thought. Her palm came down on his shaft, ran the length of it, up and then back down a few times before her fingers closed around it. Her hand was gentle but insistent, firm, constant, thumb caressing right _there._ He lost focus on a low, soft moan. His attempts to move his hips were stilled by the contraction of her legs against his. She pressed her weight down, tilted forward a little and gasped again. Her hand sped up. She wasn't teasing him anymore. This was serious. Long, slick, rapid strokes intent on making him lose his mind. She jerked him without mercy with one hand and palmed the head of his cock with the other, all the while rocking her own body against his balls.

It was stunningly raw and sexual and at the same time one of the most loving act she'd ever performed for him. The gentle mastery of his cock, the supple flex of her body moving over him, hips rolling and circling. Daniel couldn't help but lie prone and erotically subordinate, blissfully submissive, flushing and moaning in response to her steady strokes.

He was so close…so close. His body went still and he took a long breath as if he was about to cry out. Her hand tightened and she made it urgent.

"That's it," she whispered, "Yes, Daniel, come on, baby. That's it."

Daniel went volcanic, shot hard against her cupped hand until she was finishing him off riding her hand over a thick stream of his own come. The release was sharp and expansive, a sparkling eruption in the darkness, fireworks burst in the night black room and behind his eyes.

The aftershocks rattled him, just when he thought he was done she coaxed another spasm from him. Then suddenly her smooth rocking motion stuttered. She dropped forward as if there was suddenly no gravity in the room. She caught her momentum with her hands on his chest, slick and sticky and trembling, and he knew from the way her body was shuddering on top of his and her legs were gripping him like a vise that she had pushed over the edge into ecstasy.

Daniel loved watching Jillian climax – her head thrown back, her breasts moving up and down as she gasped and cried out, her eyes closed and the auburn waterfall of her hair tumbling down her naked back. He couldn't see her in the dark, but he could imagine it and he was even more aware of body's reaction than he had ever been. Her utter silence told him something about the intensity. She wasn't breathing, wasn't able to make a sound for a long time until she finally managed a strangled, "_Dan…"_

She collapsed on him and he had enough experience with her momentary blackouts to recognize it. He'd barely maintained consciousness himself.

He rolled off his back and managed to maneuver them both onto their sides, heads cradled on the same pillow. He was exhausted now, boneless and yet seized with a need to show her the same care she had just shown him. He eased away from her and started to get out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she murmured, sounding dazed.

"Clean up," he said, words slurring and unable to form the complete sentence.

"Don't care," she slurred back, "come back here."

"I care," he answered.

"Then I'll get it."

He leaned over, found her forehead by feel and memory and pressed a kiss against it. She was damp and salty. His brain started functioning again.

"No, the woman who just gave me mind altering pleasure gets to stay in bed. It's in our treaty."

He felt her smile and heard the soft exhalation of pleasure as he stood up.

"When did you draft that in?" she asked.

"Didn't you read the whole 'who-gets-the-towel-and-under-what-circumstances- subsection before signing the original?"

"Must have missed it," she murmured.

His legs were still shaking and he staggered across the room in the general direction of the bathroom. They really needed a night light. He snapped on the overhead and blinked frantically, squinted as he ran a washcloth under warm water and then ran it quickly over his body, hissing a little as the water cooled and the air hit him. He was always frantically sensitive after sex and parts of him really did not want to be touched at the moment.

He got another cloth and left the light on so he could find his way back to the bed without crashing into it.

She sat up, stunning in the half-light, shadows and contours of feminine curve. She reached out for the cloth and he held it back protectively.

"According to Subsection B, I get to do this, "he said.

She settled back and even in the shadowed light without his glasses, he could see the flash of white when she smiled. He ran the wash cloth over her hands, over her legs and belly so delicately it was almost sensual; then the dry towel followed it. Jillian sighed a little in a contented, appreciative way.

He wanted to toss the towels on the floor but he already felt guilty for leaving her the breadcrumb trail of his clothing earlier. He staggered back to the bathroom and tossed them in the general direction of the hamper instead and then crawled back into bed with her.

"Do you feel better?" she asked, with caution as they fell automatically into a comfortable tangle of limbs.

He considered it. Nothing about Jack and the SGC had changed really, but the argument between Jillian and him was obviously past. That storm at least had been weathered.

The rest they would deal with, head on, the way SG1 dealt with everything. Doing the impossible was SOP for them. He wasn't sure he felt 'better' but he was suddenly, abruptly, exhausted. Too tired for the run-on sentences that would start pouring out if he tried to explain how he felt now.

"I'm fine," he said, making it simple, kissing her forehead.

He could feel her tense up and knew why. He had stock answers to certain questions and he had 'I'm fine' on speed-dial and she was well aware of it. He snuggled closer, scooted down so that his head was lower than hers, pressed his face into her neck and shoulder.

"Jill," he began and then stopped and tightened his arms around her. _I hurt._ _It hurts and I'm scared._

She stroked his hair. _I know._

In the end that was all that needed to be said.

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	115. Chapter 115

Without any real prior planning SG1 and SG 8 gathered in one of the small VIP rooms to talk. SG1 was minus Jack who had opted to stay home for a while and take care of some things, over Sam's loud and insubordinate objections. It was Daniel who had dragged Sam out of Jack's house.

"He's had it Sam," Daniel tried to explain, "He might have slept but he's exhausted. He's… he's too tired from fighting the Ancients in his head, from fighting _not_ to fight them, to deal with anything else right now, not even us, certainly not someone else in Hammond's chair."

They'd made it to the driveway before Sam had stopped and flung her arms around Daniel's neck and just hung on for a moment. He'd hugged her back without offering the probable lie that everything would be all right.

Jack wasn't the only one who was exhausted in spite of having slept. His whole team was hurting.

SG8 was plus Annie who was sticking close to Scotty. It was very early Monday morning and very different from the Base they had left Friday evening. Some of the SG teams – including Annie's – had come back only yesterday to find that Hammond was gone. Even now a barrage of Airmen was moving in boxes. The elevators had been running nonstop – making everyone wonder how much stuff this new administrator needed and how well she had really been briefed.

They settled into chairs or leaning against tables or, in Teal'c's case just standing with his hands clasped behind him.

"So, are we going to try to fight this? We did before," Mallory asked, which surprised Jillian. Mallory was nothing if not consummately military. Jack had the reputation for rule bending and not settling for orders if he sensed something in the wind. Not Mallory.

"Hammond doesn't want us to," Daniel said. His voice was devoid of any kind of emotion but the tight lines around his eyes betrayed his displeasure. "He wants to work from D.C."

"What do we know about this Dr. Weir?" Rusty asked.

Daniel gave the same short biography he'd given in Jack's living room. "She's a pacifist by reputation. I did some checking and she started out early lobbying against military spending."

"Our budget _is_ military spending," Rusty pointed out.

Sam looked hopefully at Daniel. "I've been thinking about this. You should be able to make a connection with her. It seems like you must have a lot in common."

Daniel shook his head slowly. "I'm not as sure about that as you are, Sam. Maybe you guys can't see it but I became aware of it when Sarah was here. I'm not really very civilian anymore from a civilian perspective. I've been here since the beginning. She's going to know what I want before I walk in the door."

"When has that ever stopped you?" Jillian asked. She was sitting in one of the leather chairs, beside him but angled so that their feet were closer. She nudged him with the toe of her boot. "Just go be you."

"Be me?" He looked at her over the top of his glasses.

"You know – charming, open to what she has to say, make use of the devastating blue eyes."

Daniel frowned, lowered his head and looked at her sideways. "Are you encouraging me to go flirt with another woman?"

Jillian's gaze was just short of exasperation and long on affection. "You flirt the way most men breathe. Half the time you don't even know you're doing it. You won't be able to help it. But I trust you and if it gets Jack's situation on the front burner, then so be it. Smile at her and half your work will be done."

"She has a point, Daniel," Sam said.

Teal'c spoke up. "You have always been our voice, Daniel Jackson."

"I can seek common ground based on the body of her work. I'm pretty familiar with that. But I don't know how she'll react to any kind of pressure," Daniel hedged. "On the other hand at least she won't have the military 'casualties can be expected' mentality. No offense."

He added the last when four sets of military eyes speared him.

"None taken," Rusty said, sourly.

"We'd really like someone to go get a read on this new person, Dr. Jackson," Mallory said, "I think I'm speaking for all the SG teams when I say we're all hoping it will be you."

There was a momentary silence and then Sam said, "We've known since we heard the announcement that it was going to be you, Daniel. Why are we even pretending otherwise? We could try drawing straws if we weren't so sure you'd just cheat again."

Daniel looked stunned. "You knew about that?"

"Yeah, you made sure you got the short straw," Sam accused, "never been sure how but you did."

Distractedly Daniel said, "Street vender in Shanghai, when I was interning on a dig. I saw him almost every morning and we became friends," Daniel turned briefly to Jillian, "You would have loved it. I was working with Zhang Wei and he went on to be the director of the Underwater Archaeology Center of China in 1987. Fascinating guy, you would like him," He looked back at Sam, "Anyway, the street vendor sold seasoned pancakes in the alley behind the Catholic Church in _xiǎo hóng shī sù_ and I used to go there for breakfast. He taught me a bunch of sleight of hand stuff."

"Good to know," Sam muttered. "Can we get back on topic now?"

Daniel focused on her again for a moment. "Well you couldn't go talk to him. We all suspected it was something he couldn't tell us, that he was under orders and he wouldn't have been able to tell you. I was kind of afraid Teal'c would just try to beat it out of him."

Teal'c raised both eyebrows in response but didn't make as much as a grunt of protest.

Jillian nudged him with her toe again. "Daniel," she said softly, "You won't let him down."

Daniel's eyes flared open as if she'd hit a nerve and he went utterly still. Sam inhaled sharply as she 'got it.' Teal'c's eyebrow threatened to crawl off his forehead.

"We all know what Jack did and I'm pretty sure we all know why," she went on, "You can do this. For him. He doesn't have time for you to do another internet search."

Daniel looked down at the floor for a moment. Jillian had found him awake before dawn in the office with the door closed, tormenting the internet and his computer in general without mercy. He had hacked into databases Jillian hadn't been aware existed with skills she hadn't realized he had. She decided to blame Sam as a bad influence. He was convinced, she knew though he never said as much out loud, that somewhere out in the ether was an obscure piece of unrelated dated, a mystifying bit of artifact or someone with a bizarre new hypothesis that would prompt him or Sam or one of the other eggheads to an epiphany. If he could find just the right thing, it would inspire a brilliant revelation of how to reverse the effects of the Ancient repository.

For the first time in his life Daniel would have preferred pure research to verbal negotiation. He _did_ know Elizabeth Weir from her work. He had honest doubts about his ability to convince her of how dangerous Anubis was, or how untenable Jack's position was.

But Jillian was right. Jack didn't have time for Daniel to sit around being unsure.

He stood up and everyone stood with him.

"Are you all going to wait for me here?" he asked.

"Why don't we go to the commissary?" Mallory said, "No one ever said we had to get ready to defend the planet on an empty stomach."

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	116. Chapter 116

There was a stack of plastic shipping crates by the door of the archaeological lab. The top one was open and Daniel was putting things in and speaking in the quick staccato that betrayed his nerves and agitation. Jillian perched on a stool by the table with her hands around a mug of hot tea. The ceramic burned into her palms and she wasn't sure why it hadn't shattered into pieces from the way she was gripping it.

"This is everything we have on the Ancients and on the Lost City and everything I _think _might have something to do with that. If you're evacuated to the Alpha site make sure all of this goes with you and take Nyan if you can manage that. He's not as good with Ancient as you are but he can be if he applies himself."

"I don't want to leave for the Alpha site," she said, stiffly and hated that she sounded like a petulant child.

Daniel turned and looked at her. "I know. I know it feels like running. But you have to, Bǎobèi. After me, you're the only one with enough knowledge of the Ancients to make sense of any of this."

She broke eye contact with him and sipped at her tea. He could see the bones standing out in her hands where she had them clenched around the mug.

"Jillian," he waited until she looked at him again, "I'm sorry."

She misunderstood. "You have to go. Jack… Jack needs you and he has to go."

"Not about this. I know you understand about this and why I have to go…. About what happened the other day, our…. Disagreement. I shouldn't have treated you as if you don't know me better than I know myself. I _was _prepared to download the repository and I did think I might be able to handle it. In fact I tried and Jack stopped me, mostly because of you."

"I don't think it had anything to do with me," she answered, "Jack would never let that happen to you, any more than I would. All the knowledge you've ever dreamed of stored in your head and you not able to access any of it? No way to really experience it in any practical way. No way to even know _what_ you knew. After everything you already lost about being one of the Ancients; one of the Ascended? Your beautiful, brilliant mind wiped out neuron by neuron? None of us could stand to watch that, Daniel. Jack's been through this. He knew what it would mean. I owe him a debt I can't ever pay back."

Daniel had closed his eyes and clenched his fists. "I can't watch him go through this again, Jill," he choked in that low tenor that came from him when he was in pain, "I don't have the strength for it. I'd give anything to change it. I'm torn between wishing he had let me and not knowing how I would ever have faced you if he had."

"I know," she said, gently. "You're still the guy who shot his way through safety glass and jumped into a room full of lethal radiation to save the lives of strangers. None of that has changed."

Daniel stared at the floor now and Jillian felt a flood of sympathy and adoration for him. The way Daniel loved his team was different than the way he loved her. The way he protected them was different than the way he protected her; and sometimes he was caught squarely between the two.

He looked up at her with his expression full of anguish and longing, caught in a moment of extreme vulnerability he didn't seem able to control.

"Daniel," she said, softly, "I know you want to protect me, and maybe you even really want to save the Earth and all its people. But this is about protecting Jack too and it's more than a little bit about seeking revenge for Abydos. It's personal for you and we both know it."

"Is that wrong?" he demanded.

"No," she said, "The hurt…. The sadness we felt when Janet died….. the emptiness… that shouldn't be just one more loss in a series of unbearable losses; and now Jack… This has to stop. I just don't want to see you consumed by it."

"I'm not," he stated, firmly.

Jillian put the mug down on the table and he watched as her face went through a rapid series of changes – anger, love, and a kind of resigned frustrated aggravation.

"Daniel," she said, exasperated, "Don't apologize to me for treating me as if I don't understand you and then do _exactly the same thing_ in the next breath!"

He started to answer her and ran full stop into four years of history and passion and honesty. He tried to say _I'm sorry_ again and couldn't.

He crossed the room and hauled her to her feet and into his arms. She tensed, hands on his chest holding him back. There was a pause in which there was only Daniel insistently keeping her close, arms like iron bands, feet braced and Jillian resisting. He could bench press her body weight, was taller, broader and at the moment he seemed very big and very dense and very strong.

A single word from her and he would let go.

On a sob of heartbroken yearning she collapsed and a low sound came from her as she melted, wrapped her arms around his waist. Daniel pressed his palm against her lower back and she yielded entirely. He tucked her under his chin and spoke.

"Marry me," he said.

This time she choked on a startled laugh that had no humor in it. "I thought we were already planning that, for months now."

"I know," he sounded agonized. "I mean now, today. We'll find the Base chaplain. Everyone we love is here – Jack, Sam, Teal'c, your whole team, everyone."

"Daniel stop! Everyone _you_ love is here. My dad is on 295. My grandfathers are in New York and Scotland! They'll strangle me. Stop. Take a breath."

He did, inhaling slowly. She reached up and took his face between her hands.

"Look at me," she said.

Those blue eyes met hers and she had to physically keep from melting into a puddle at the intensity in them. Daniel was holding someone he loved. Daniel was looking at someone he loved.

She swallowed the dry ache in her throat and said,

"I forgive you for being you. There's actually nothing about that to apologize for. I know this mission is different for you. Usually when I send you out there, even into this kind of danger, it's Jack protecting you while you do six impossible things before breakfast. I trust Jack to do that. I know he has your back; and now it's going to be on you to guard him. But let's not freak out here okay? You're coming back and we're going to be married standing on the dock under an of arch of wildflowers at Jack's cabin. I'm not marrying you in my fatigues and combat boots like there's some chance I'm never going to see you again. I won't send you out there with that kind of attitude. I need you to stay safe and come home and see me in my wedding gown."

Her uncanny ability to see right through him should have been unnerving. Instead he was comforted by it. He _was_ freaked out about this mission. It _did _feel strange to hand over the intellectual part of their team to Jack, not that O'Neill hadn't brought his own brand of intelligence to tactics and saving their collective backsides hundreds of times. This was different.

"And we'll save Jack," she finished softly, "because neither of us, none of us, is ready to deal with that kind of pain." She stroked a thumb over his cheekbone, "You won't stop until you find a way. There's a fire in you that won't go out, no matter what life tries to douse it with. It's why I love you. "

She leaned against him in a close embrace again with her face against his neck and jaw, eyes closed. For a long time they just stood that way, clinging to each other, melding through their clothes. Jillian sighed and tried to get closer, relishing the time they had and this man and his warmth and his light and his intelligence.

_Why_, she wondered, as she rested her head against his chest and listened to his beating heart, _did the fate of the world always have to come down to SG1 and the man she loved?_

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	117. Chapter 117

Sam was in her lab, just as Jillian had known she would be, avoiding Jack now and all his packing and interlacement of foreign words into his vocabulary, avoiding having to look at Daniel for an interpretation of her usually blunt and articulate CO.

She looked up when Jillian came in the door and said,

"No."

Jillian hesitated for only a moment and then came in. She'd been friends with Sam for four years. She'd never had a sister but had come to think that maybe this was what it would be like. She understood that it didn't mean _no don't come in._ It meant _no we're not going to talk about IT._

'It' was too big and Sam had been like this – abrupt and distant and closed off- since Jack O'Neill had decided to stick his damned thick pigheaded skull into a supercomputer, like some incompatible external hard drive, a thumb drive for a completely different operating system.

Jillian understood that Sam had been thinking the same thing for days on an endless feedback loop over which she had no control. _No no no no, not again, no, I can't lose him, I can't listen to this, I can't watch this, I can't relieve him of command, I can't, I can't, I can't, no, no, no….._

She'd gone with Sam in another attempt to contact the Asgard and shared Sam's frustration that they can't locate the Tok'ra. Maybe 'shared' wasn't the right word, but she certainly understood. Even in the days when she and her father were mixing signals he would have come if she had called him, if Daniel's life had been at risk. It wasn't so much the Tok'ra or the Asgard that were making Sam feel abandoned. It was Jacob.

Jillian wanted to offer some kind of reassurance, the certainty she herself felt that the Universe just wasn't that cruel, that the price of saving the Earth wouldn't be losing Jack O'Neill.

But one look at her friend's stricken face drove Jillian to silence. Here in the relative privacy of her lab, Sam looked as if her heart was collapsing under its own weight.

Jillian was sometimes relieved that SG8 didn't seem to have any of the internal conflict of SG1. Maybe it was just different Type A personalities. Maybe it was because Mal was completely devoted to his wife and Rusty to his and Scotty was now stupid-in-love with Annie and she had never been romantically interested in any of them. Jillian had fallen in love with Daniel the first time they'd been introduced and she was still in love with him, even though he was a long steely way from the long-haired somewhat dazed 32 year-old man she had been introduced to.

SG1 had the scratchy passive-aggression versus blunt alpha male drama of daily existence with Jack and Daniel. It also had this thing between Jack and Sam that no one acknowledged because it couldn't be acknowledged.

The relationship between the conflicting personalities of SG1 was against all common sense and against all the odds stacked against them. It was their MO. It was how it had been since the start. SG1 should never really have existed, or they should all have been reassigned after the first year. Sam and Daniel and Teal'c were all too valuable to risk in the field. Daniel should have given it up after Sha're's death. But they were all too driven, Sam by ambition and Daniel by curiosity. Teal'c especially was a warrior and fighting was his existence. He would never have agreed to stay in the mountain as the resident alien.

And Hammond had known exactly what SG1 looked like. He had known since 1969. There had never been a decision to make about any of them. He'd never quite understood how they all wound up in the past but had shrewdly surmised that it had something to do with the Star Gate. He'd known Daniel Jackson was alive the moment he'd seen the young man's photograph in the 'Eyes Only' file on the first Abydos misson. He's seen him sitting in a transport van right next to Jack twenty eight years earlier and both of them had looked exactly the same then as they did now. It was why he had pushed Jack so hard, threatened Abydos with another nuke, bullied the man into admitting the truth because there wasn't any other way to get it out of him. Hammond knew Captain Sam Carter was also part of the mix and Teal'c was certainly unforgettable

So they had been SG-1 for seven years, against all common sense and against all odds. Even forging ahead when they had been temporarily deprived of Daniel, even with O'Neill in melt down they were still SG-1 and it was still up to them. The bond among them was insanely complicated but unbreakable. Breaking up SG1 would somehow rock the foundation of the program. It would happen someday, inevitably, but it couldn't happen _now._ They couldn't fall apart now.

_Sam_ couldn't fall apart now. She had a job to do. Daniel had once described Sam to Jillian as a strip of steel moonlight. Looking into her friend's pale face and too-wide eyes it seemed to Jillian that she had never been more so.

So, 'no' really meant we're not going to talk about IT. Jack was dying and even if it meant something to Jack and even if it felt to Sam like the world would end no matter what they did if Jack died, it didn't matter at all to the Air Force or to what they had to do.

But Jillian understood more than just that. Alpha women, both in love with alpha men. If either she or Sam ever came face to face with an Ancient, they'd have to be physically restrained from violence.

"Okay," Jillian said, finally, "I just wanted to make sure I saw you before you left. Daniel left me a stack of crates. Is there anything you want me to grab if I have to evacuate?"

Sam almost sagged in gratitude at Jillian's understanding, the conversation they had been avoiding for years still held at bay. They left unspoken the things Sam couldn't quite have, the things Sam couldn't quite feel.

"The extra laptop. I'm taking the main one with me," Sam answered. "Do you want me to put it with the crates?"

"I can take it now if you want. They're moving the crates to the Gate Room just in case," Jillian answered. She gestured over her shoulder. "You want to go get something to eat? There's chocolate cake in the commissary and I've got Dove bars stashed in Daniel's office."

"Chocolate?" Sam asked, looking interested suddenly.

"You can't go into hyperspace without first consuming vast quantities of chocolate. It's a rule," Jillian said.

Sam got up, grabbing her extra laptop off the shelf behind her as she did, and they walked out the door side by side.

"It's a rule, really?" Sam asked.

"Absolutely," Jillian assured her.

"It's a good rule," Sam observed.

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	118. Chapter 118

The ship was on its way and Daniel would be leaving, for who knew what or how long or what they would bring back.

He had been frantically following Jack around, trying to keep up with the packing, following in case he said something and it wasn't in English. Jillian went to find him, stopped him with a hand on his arm and a look in her eyes and soft words,

"_Wŏ xiăng yào nín_." _I want you._

She chose Mandarin because she was never really quite sure of Jack. He was smarter, better educated and picked up more things than any of them gave him credit for. She wasn't sure he didn't speak Arabic, one of the High School language (probably Spanish), possibly some Russian. He almost certainly spoke Tagalog from being stationed at Clark Air Force Base, a language she had picked up from a Philippine neighbor in France but ironically wasn't in Daniel's arsenal.

She was pretty sure Jack didn't understand Mandarin, especially with the hard inflections she had just given that sentence.

She wanted Daniel, now, for a little bit, for him to be just hers. It was that simple.

Then Daniel was looking at her with eyes full of intensity and sudden longing and something else and suddenly it wasn't simple at all.

She swallowed hard and had to lick very dry lips. Her knees went weak.

Seven years she had known Daniel. Four years living intimately in this man's presence and he still made her stomach drop and her heart beat faster and her knees go weak.

And Mandarin or not, one swift, guilty glance at Jack and she knew he knew.

"Go ahead," Jack said, just as softly as she had spoken earlier and Jillian had a moment to wonder if Jack didn't understand enough Mandarin to get by.

O'Neill didn't say anything else and Daniel didn't either. They were both too afraid that whatever came out next might not be English.

Daniel reached for her hand and held it tight as they left.

She and Daniel had made love the night before in a way that had been hard and urgent and a little bit rough and a little bit wild. Like being launched into space with no real idea where one stopped and the other started and all she had been able to do was feel _him_ because everything else in the world had faded away.

She wasn't even certain that was what she wanted right now. Everything always seemed determined to take him away from her. Everything and everyone. She wanted to have him even if it was just to hold him and look into his eyes for a while because this time –_god_ – this time there was so much more at stake and so much more that threatened and she wasn't even safe being left behind on Earth and there was no such thing as safety where he was going.

The lifetime she wanted with Daniel might have to be condensed into the next hour.

The elevator ride was an endless silence of green eyes locked with blue and everything passing between them unsaid but understood.

She hadn't been sure that she wanted to make love, wasn't even sure it was possible after the night before. But by the time they got to their room and shut the door Daniel had apparently decided it was what he wanted. There was no foreplay, no tender moments that set everything in motion.

There was only scattered clothing in a trajectory from the door to the bed and falling back into the soft quilt, dragging him down on top of her.

Then he was above her and around her and in her, overwhelming her in every conceivable, wonderful way. Her arms are around his shoulders, one hand in his hair and he was deep, deep, _so deep_ inside her. She wanted to say something. They were both too verbal for this to ever be completely silent. It had never been in the past. But a hard thrust, a twist of his hip and the words died and it was too intense for even a moan.

Their eyes locked and stayed that way and each heavy plunge of his hips brought them closer together even as time moved them further apart. Jillian moved her entire body, pressing up and arching her back. She wanted to give him everything, all the pieces of her to take with him and she didn't know how else to do it. His hand slid down her side, moved under them to hold her lower back. She felt him dig his toes into the bed, increasing his momentum and the force of his thrusts.

His eyes drifted closed and she saw him bite his lower lip in an attempt to maintain control. His arms were still braced because he knew – he had to know – how tender she still was from the night before. Jillian used the hand on the back of his head to pull him down until their mouths came together, clashed in a desperation of lips and tongue and gasping breath. When his mouth finally slipped from hers it was only to rain kisses on her cheeks and temple and on her eyelids, tasting salt tears and forcing them closed.

The night before Jillian had felt that he was as deep within her as he possibly could ever be. But now it felt like he was even deeper; not just physically, but as if he was giving her something of his ascended soul, something spiritual that was spreading through her body, rising up to her heart and entwining with her very essence.

Jillian felt the sudden shift in him. His neck bent as his head dipped and his movements hesitated. Her eyes opened again, searching for his. Then his arms were both firmly around her again and he was rolling, taking her with him, throwing her off balance for a moment and leaving her sprawled helpless and panting on the edge, on top of him.

His hip moved up hard and Jillian's vision blurred out on the edges. His hands were everywhere for a moment and then he was pushing her upright. She braced her hands on his chest, lost in the feel of him, equilibrium gone and choked with emotion again at his willingness to be under her.

His hands spanned her waist. His thumbs brushed against her lower belly. His eyes drifted briefly to the place where her body joined his and then locked with her eyes again.

She started to move, up and down trying to match the incredible twists he had performed earlier and his eyes went closed again and his head tilted back and she should see the pulse pounding in the beautiful column of his throat.

One of his hands dropped to her upper thigh and his thumb slipped between her folds to press upwards just _these_ and she knew he was pushing her because he was close…._so close. _She could see it in his clenched teeth and the dampness of his hair on his neck forehead, the corded muscles in his arms and chest.

_God_ he was so beautiful. After last night a man pushing forty shouldn't really _need_ this, possible shouldn't even want it and probably shouldn't even be capable. That he did and could and wanted and needed spoke volumes about what they were facing. Tears rose in her eyes and she blinked them away to concentrate on his pleasure and hers.

Daniel's jaw went slack and a startled sound left him, the same sound he made when he was in pain. Jillian leaned forward, moving faster, brushed her lips over his and Daniel climaxed in a trembling surge. He came as if last night had never happened, a complete loss of control, and intense rush of liquid heat and he was still moving, hitting her just _there,_ just _right_ and Jillian's eyes squeezed shut as the waves started crashing over her. Her mouth sought his again and she was crying and coming and sobbing and shattered.

He stayed hard for a while but the rest of his body seemed to dissolve. His bones and tendons and joints went limp. Jillian melted on top of him, lightning struck and helpless with tears still falling silently from her closed eyes.

Daniel turned his head, nudged against her cheek with his and she managed to open her eyes enough to look at him. What she saw took her breath away. She saw herself and him and _love _and she wanted to remember that, remember how it looked and how it felt and how it had made her stop breathing.

She loved Daniel and he knew; like she knew how much he loved her. She would wait for him and stay safe until he could find her; and if he pulled off another miracle she would stand with him and say the words that would seal their lives together forever.

For this moment, there was nothing more they could say.

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	119. Chapter 119

**Continuing missing scenes from Lost City. This is after the credits roll on part 2.**

**(0)**

They stood in complete stillness as if their lives had been frozen with him, as if they had no idea how to proceed from here without him. They'd been running full tilt with wildfires at their backs and had now skidded – dead stop – into a wall. With adrenaline still racing it had always been hard for SG1 as a whole to go from 'fighting-for-your-life' to – 'now-it's-over'.

And this didn't feel 'over'. This felt 'wrenched out of your control – too bad- get over it.'

SG1's world had just spun off its axis.

Daniel looked first at Teal'c, for some kind of guidance, some kind of assurance. He met a tear-filled gaze that was abruptly wrenched away. Teal'c walked up to the frozen coffin that held O'Neill, looked for a moment, turned around and sank slowly into a seated position, as if he would just stay there on guard for the rest of his life if that is what it took. He pulled up his knees, braced one elbow and rested his forehead against the heel of his hand. His eyes closed in pain. His other hand stayed clutched around his weapon.

Daniel breathed as if it hurt. Watching Teal'c sit down was like watching the pyramids crumble; like watching Gibraltar fall into the sea. It left Daniel feeling even more stranded and so he looked at Sam.

She was more frozen than Jack, pale as starlight on snow. He watched her eyes slowly close. He watched tears leak from the corners in slow motion.

Their radios crackled. Bra'tac's voice pierced the silence.

"_SG1, are you ready to return_?"

Daniel fumbled for the radio, found it by instinct.

"Give us a minute," he begged.

A brief silence, then a choked sounding, "_Very well_."

The voices, the noise, was shocking in the sepulcher stillness. It broke something open in Sam. She made a small, strangled sound that was saturated with pain. Her jaw clenched against it. Her body shook with the effort of holding it in.

"_Sam_," Daniel whispered and reached for her, caught her around the back of her neck and pulled her against him.

It was probably good that he had his arms around her when her knees gave out and her legs were trembling too hard to stay up anymore. Her weight fell against him and they sank to the floor together. Daniel gathered her into his lap, wrapped his arms and legs around her and began rocking while she cried. His fingers threaded up into her hair. His palm pressed against her cheek and kept her head against his chest.

He refused to offer her the lie that it was all right, that it would be all right. His throat was too closed to speak.

Daniel flashed back on a moment in the ship, just before they had stepped into the rings. Jack had already been almost lost to them, language gone, counting on Daniel to speak for him. But he had reached for Sam's face with his fingertips and his eyes had briefly focused, soft and warm.

"_Carter_," he'd said and they all knew what it had cost him to make her name the last thing he lost forever.

Jack loved Sam. The soft, inquiring way he had always looked at her was to mask unrestrained but impossible love. Daniel thought of all the times Sam and Jack had seemed to block out the rest of the world and only see each other.

He _loved_ her and she loved him.

Daniel glanced at Teal'c and saw the same knowledge in his eyes. They had never said it. They had never hinted at it. They had deliberately done what they had always done – covered for each other.

It was all Daniel had to offer her - the willingness to keep covering for her. So they were going to stay here until she stopped crying, until she stopped shaking and clinging to him and speaking in broken, halting syllables that were caught in between choked sobs.

"Can't….can't…." _live without him… leave him here...think….breathe…. _"Have..to…do…something…."

That assurance he could give her. He took his glasses off and scrubbed viciously at his eyes for a moment, swallowed frantically at the dryness in his throat.

"Sam," he said though it came out hoarse and strangled, "We _will_ do something. The Asgard can't ignore us forever and we'll go find them if we have to. This is who we are. But we have to leave him here now. It's the only place he's safe…."

He stopped when she broke into another spate of hard sobbing.

"Sam," he tried to get her to look up at him but she turned her face into his shirt and refused. "Sam, it's technology. You trust that right? Even when Teal'c and I don't, you always do. We need you to show us that you trust this."

Daniel turned to look sideways at Teal'c, who met his eyes and nodded. He understood what Daniel was doing. He'd back him up. Sam might fall apart but if they needed her she would be there.

She cried for a little bit longer. Teal'c looked miserably torn between wanting to guard O'Neill and wanting to comfort Sam. Reluctantly he dragged himself away from the vertical casket and moved around so that Sam was bookended between them. He put his hand on her back and rubbed softly.

"Major Carter," he said, "We cannot just stay here and do nothing and we cannot take him with us."

They let her cry herself out. When she stopped Daniel and Teal'c both knew it wasn't because she was somehow over it. They both knew that 'it' was someone she loved, someone they all loved in different ways. That wasn't something you ever got over.

When she finally stopped just short of hiccups and sat up, drying her eyes on her sleeves. She let them help her to her feet, teeth gritted against the image of Jack still and pale, corpselike and unreachable.

She clung to Daniel's arm with Teal'c hand between her shoulder blades and swayed.

"You okay?" Daniel asked, gently.

She gave him a shaky attempt at a smile.

"Yeah," she said, "I'm supposed to be in command."

Daniel's expression was filled with irony.

"So give us a command," he said.

Sam gave a short, sharp bark of strained laughter.

"Will you follow it?"

Daniel shrugged. "As well as I ever follow any order."

"So I'm screwed then, right?"

"Pretty much," Daniel answered, humor softening his red-rimmed eyes. "Teal'c will probably listen though. So there's that."

Sam looked back and forth between them for a moment and clung to their presence.

"Okay," she inhaled, "Daniel, will you help me look at this and translate the text so I can figure out what it does and Teal'c will you contact Bra'tac, maybe return to the ship and find out what happened and report to the SGC for us?"

Teal'c gave her a respectful nod of his head and moved off, reaching for his radio.

Together, Sam and Daniel figured out how to take readings on Jack's condition, where the gauges were, where the controls were. It all seemed to be automated. Jack was in a deep state of hibernation.

"My god," Sam whispered, sliding her hand on the red lines that were monitoring him, "His heart his barely beating."

When Daniel didn't answer for a long time she looked at him and found his eyes fixed on her with ice blue honesty.

"Then, I guess, "he said, slowly, "Yours will just have to beat for both of you for a little while."

Sam swallowed, looked away and then looked back at him and Daniel watched her surrender.

In the mountains he sometimes found rocks in which flowers had gained a foothold, and grown and become strong until the stone cracked. The moment was like that. The truth took hold between them and the silence cracked under it, shattered.

It was still a fragile truth and SG1 would continue to protect it…

But it could no longer be denied.

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	120. Chapter 120

Bra'tac landed the scout ship at Peterson and stayed just long enough for Sam, Daniel and Teal'c to thank him again and say goodbye. He resisted all attempts to get him to stay, preferring to return immediately to Chulak and report the destruction of Anubis.

One dark sedan drove Bra'tac immediately to Cheyenne Mountain, where a Presidential authorization to use the Star Gate was waiting for him. Another car took SG1 to the office of the base commander. Dr. Weir was waiting for them on a computer screen. While Sam reported what had happened, Daniel got on the phone and called Jillian. She had listened in silence while he rattled on. Uncertain who might be listening he switched rapidly back and forth among languages - Ancient, Mandarin, Japanese, Gaelic, a long string of Abydonian, all mixed with an occasional smattering of 'archaeologo-geese'. It would be incomprehensible to anyone trying to listen in. Even if they could find translators large bodies of it would be too context-specific to make sense of.

When he finally wound to a halt, there was a long stillness on the other end.

"Jill?

She answered in a strained voice, in Goa'uld, "Oroc ra, kree mak." _I understand everything._

He asked her in Mandarin, "Nǐ zài nǎ li?" _Where are you?_

She answered him in Dutch. "Thuis." _Home._

He began his response in Italian, "Raggiungermi," _meet me; _and finished in Japanese, "Yamanoshita?" _under the mountain?_

She finished in Gaelic, "Ta." _Yes._

"I love you," he said, not caring who heard that and understood it.

"I love you too," she answered.

Daniel put the phone back in the cradle on General Shelton's desk and looked at Sam. Dr. Weir was no longer on the secured connection from the SGC. Sam was talking to Pete.

Daniel was startled for a moment and then hoped he had stopped the reaction before it showed on his face. He schooled his face to stillness, which wasn't really all that difficult now that he had talked to Jillian. He was suddenly beyond exhausted.

"No, Pete, I'm fine," Sam was saying, with her eyes too bright and her smile too forced.

"I was sure you were dead,' Pete said, sounding anxious and unbelieving.

"No, really, we're all fine," she said, and then hesitated, added reluctantly, "Almost all. Look, I'll explain everything when we get there. We're going to get cleaned up and they have a car waiting to bring us back. Just wait for me, okay?"

"Okay, "he paused a moment and then said, "I love you, angel."

"Yeah," Sam said with another tight smile, "Same here."

She gripped the mouse with the bones in her hands showing through and clicked off the connection. The screen went immediately to a shot of the Air Force Thunderbirds flying in tight formation.

She stood up.

"Jill okay?"

Daniel shrugged. "Probably as much as any of us."

They thanked Col. Shelton and then an Airman escorted them to the locker rooms.

(0)

Showered, in borrowed sage green generic Air Force BDUs, and fed, the three remaining members of SG1 slept in the car. Teal'c, in the front seat beside a cautious looking Airman, pulled his borrowed Air Force cap down low over his eyes, eased the seat back a little and appeared to sleep.

Daniel slumped into one corner of the back seat with his legs as far out in front of him as he could get them, folded his arms tightly across his chest and turned off as if someone had hit a switch. Sam held out a little longer, but the highway outside the tinted glass was boring and the silence was overwhelming.

She woke up when the sedan slowed to exit the highway she woke up briefly to find that she had keeled over sideways and was resting on Daniel. He was heavy, boneless and deeply asleep. She wondered for a moment just how 'military' they had managed to make him, that he had learned the need to grab sleep when it was offered, when there was nothing else to do for that moment in time.

Still exhausted she settled down against him and closed her eyes. They had less than a mile before the security entrance, then the parking lot.

_One more minute,_ she thought.

But it was Teal'c who shook them both awake when the car stopped to let them out at the Base entrance.

Maybe it was seeing the familiar, taking the elevator, stopping at the checkpoints, signing in a half a dozen times, but it hit them all at once. They knew it and resisted looking at each other as the elevator slid slowly into the earth. Then Sam had started it. First she glanced at Daniel and then at Teal'c.

They'd left him behind. Something they never did. Something they had risked their lives and careers and everyone's good will to do. Never leave anyone behind.

And that was exactly what they had just done to the man who had drilled that into them relentlessly.

"It is not the same," Teal'c said, deeply and slowly.

"How?" Daniel demanded.

"O'Neill is not in prison," Teal'c said.

"Isn't he?" Sam and Daniel spoke the same words at the same time.

Teal'c's eyebrow went up. "He is unlikely to be tortured in his present condition and he is not dead; nor will we leave him there."

None of them said _for now. _None of them knew exactly how long 'for now' would even be.

"He will be returned to us," Teal'c finished with certainty. Apparently he was finding rest and food just as restorative as his teammates.

"You sound like you believe that," Sam said, looking at him hoping for assurance.

"I am," Teal'c replied.

"Why?" Daniel demanded.

Teal'c pinned Daniel with his dark, fathomless eyes, looked down without lowering his head.

"You were Ascended, Daniel Jackson," he said.

"Yes," Daniel answered, not seeing the connection at all.

"Now you are not," Teal'c explained.

Daniel blinked at him, looked at Sam, who shrugged and looked mystified. At this point Daniel pinned Teal'c right back and waited for more. Teal'c relented after a moment.

"I have learned that no human condition seems to ever be permanent," he said, "Therefore, O'Neill's condition is not permanent and we will work to rectify the situation."

Daniel opened his mouth and then closed it again. He was spared from trying to articulate a response to that as the elevator doors slid open.

Jillian and Pete were both waiting. Pete was a cop but Jillian was more familiar with the sounds of the SGC, even the elevators; and she had been fighting the Goa'uld for seven years. Her reflexes were sharper. She was in motion before the doors opened.

For a split second, Daniel was so paralyzed with gratitude at seeing her again that he couldn't move; which gave Jillian the chance she needed to hug Sam and then Teal'c before turning and flinging herself into Daniel's arms for a full embrace.

He was peripherally aware of Sam and Pete hugging and of their voices murmuring something; and of Teal'c leaving them alone to their separate reunions. Everything else in his being was concentrated on Jillian, holding her sweet strength, molding her against him, painfully, savagely aware of how they fit together, the places where her body yielded and the places where it didn't. Her breathing, her pulse, her warmth, the silky feel of her hair under his chin and against his neck. He was certain his heartbeat was audible.

Daniel was suddenly so amazingly stunned that it was over and they were all alive that he sagged against her and would have fallen if she hadn't been there.

"Oh, hey," she said, softly. She turned and got her arm around his waist and his arm over her shoulders. "Come on. Let me take you home."

"No," he said, trying to straighten up, "No. I want to stay here."

She got it of course – here, where he could talk to Weir and start the process and get this all moving to get Jack out of a freezer under the ice. She had a feeling that none of this was going to be easy. Politics and Bureaucracy were going to hit the fan and she knew Daniel was going to be all up in the middle of it fighting for Jack.

She was dimly aware of Sam making the same protests about going home and Pete making comforting noises but insisting he at least take her out to dinner.

She turned Daniel in the direction of their quarters and said, "What do you need? Food, sleep?"

"You," he answered simply.

Thirty minutes later she was on her knees in their bed, upright, bent forward with her hands in a death grip on the headboard, panting. Daniel was on his knees behind her, working his cock inside her, his mouth on her neck, one arm locked around her hips to hold her still, one hand on her breast. His body was curved to support her, his chest a warm expanse against her back. Jillian slid down on his long, thick, hard shaft in a mindless blur of _ohgodohgodohgodyesyesyesyes _until she came in a nearly silent implosion, locked in the shelter of Daniel's body.

The aftershocks never subsided. Daniel kept moving in harsh, hungry strokes and she just couldn't stop, pressing back against him urgently, her head thrown back to rest on his shoulder, eyes tight shut with intensity. Then his movements abruptly stilled and she heard him stop breathing. He gave three short, desperately deep thrusts, groaned her name on a soft, rising series of syllables that sounded like music and shot hard. Overwhelmed, Jillian reached for the wall, clawed the headboard, reached back to claw Daniel's hip. Daniel curled over her, plastered to her, quaking.

He sank back on his heels when he was done and drew her down until she was sitting on his thighs. She was boneless, unable to stay upright. Daniel's arms locked around her, his hands tight around his own arms to hold her steady. His mouth roved her ear and shoulder neck in something that was too rough and possessive to be called 'kissing.'

They stayed that way a long time and Daniel softened and slipped free with the friction was simply too much for him to take but he didn't let go. When he moved at last he let her down gently, let her fall forward into the pillow. A small part of her dazed mind tried to remind her that she didn't like being face down but he didn't try to fall on top of her and the feeling vanished instantly as he collapsed onto his side.

She forced her eyes open and found him watching her, with his head settled on a pillow. He smiled, a slow, sweet tender smile that fought with the haunted look in his eyes. His fingers reached over and combed through her hair, hooked it over her ear and brushed along her cheek as they drew back. Jillian watched him fall asleep. Just before he went under his hand found hers on the rumpled quilt and curled around it, warm and heavy and possessive.

(0)


	121. Chapter 121

**This was cross posted in Moonlight and Steel in a slightly different version. But I wanted to include it here as well. **

**(0)**

Sam was aware of the passionate embrace going on beside her. She'd never seen them hug like that. They sank into each other, trying to meld together through their clothing. Jillian had her feet braced, her arms around him tight, giving him permission to be weak. Jillian _adored_ Daniel. He was her entire world; and he adored her. That was what Sam saw in the intimacy of that embrace.

She put her arms around Pete and tried to hang on just as tight. She didn't want permission to be weak. She was aware that Pete was holding her tight and saying something and she could feel the scratch of his chin against her neck and realized this whole thing must have him really freaked out. He probably hadn't slept in the time she had been gone.

"God, Sam, I thought you died out there. I was out of my mind," he said.

"No," she said, "I told you. I'm fine. Just a little tired."

He had leaned back to look into her eyes but now he pulled her close again and held her against his shoulder as if he expected her to cry.

But she didn't cry. If she stayed true to form, in the next few days or weeks or months of trying to free Jack, she'd want to cry at the oddest times – in the shower, at the grocery store, in her car, in the locker room. But she didn't need to cry now. She'd done that for Daniel and Teal'c.

But she didn't want Pete to know that she didn't need to cry right now. It felt good to be comforted. She couldn't tell him everything that happened out there. She never could; and there were things that happened on his cases that he couldn't tell her. It was a fact of their relationship and they both accepted it.

But she wondered how long two silences could continue to pass as dialogue.

Daniel and Jillian had moved away from them with her supporting him as if he was wounded and maybe he was.

"I don't want to go out to dinner," she said, putting her hands on Pete's shoulders and pushing him back.

He laced his fingers against the small of her back, pulled her against his hips and said, "What do you want to do?"

She reached behind her, found his hand and said, "Come with me."

Ten minutes later she was stripped of her borrowed clothes and herding Pete towards the bed and he'd been kind of stunned at first but judging by the erection that had swelled between them he was completely into it now.

He fell backwards onto the bed wearing far more clothing than she was. He laid back and allowed her free reign; which she had taken for granted anyway. She pushed his shirt up over his head and then abandoned him tangled in the navy blue fabric while she focused her attention on his fly. He had managed to get the shirt off and send it sailing across the room when her hands started on both waistbands.

"Sam, slow down," he said, trying to sit up. She caught his face between her hands and kissed him silent.

Taking some initiative he leveraged up, rolling forward smoothly and pitching her over backwards until she was arched over the end of the bed, with him kneeling between her legs. Apparently pinned she looked up and watched his face as she reached into his open fly and stroked him through soft cotton for a moment and then pulled him free.

He pulled her hand out of the way, kissed her, pressed his body down on her, rubbing against her and Sam moaned into his mouth and made little choked pleading noises.

It was all warm, naked skin from the waist up and soft denim, cotton, hard cock and moist willingness below. They both groaned, and clutched at each other, and writhed up against each other, and thrust, hard, and muscled closer, tighter. Sam was shaking, and her head dropped over the edge of the bed, and Pete kissed her exposed throat, sucked hard the pulse pounding there, kissing and then licking, sucking again, gasping, almost biting, ravenous and half-wild to be with her again, There was a hot electric rush of lust, the familiarity they had now of skin and scent and taste and _life._

She felt his fingers slide between her belly and blue jeans and the calloused pad of his thumb stroking over her at the same moment he brought them together. Sam flung her head back and arched up against him and got lost in the hot wet slide, and then the building rhythmic dance. She thrust up against denim and the metal zipper scraping across her tender skin. Pete thrust down into that soft wet tightness. He felt her first spasms clutching him in waves, and he flew helplessly over the edge, white sparks behind his eyelids and roaring blood in his ears.

The tension snapped a long moment later, and he collapsed on his elbows. Trying to catch his breath, he looked down through a dizzying haze at her re-focusing eyes, her flushed cheeks and her efforts to catch her breath as quietly as possible, and thought it was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.

With supreme effort he put an arm under her shoulders and moved them to collapse across the bed with the feet towards the headboard. He stretched out beside her and held her close.

"Don't go away," he whispered.

Sam had been staring at the ceiling but now she turned her head in confusion.

"Sometimes…." He paused, swallowed, caught his breath some more, "Sometimes, afterwards, it's like you go away somewhere, in your own head. You don't go to sleep. You just lie there in your own head and I don't know where you are."

Sam clenched her teeth. She _did_ do that and she couldn't tell him where it was she went during those times. She made the effort of rolling over and said,

"I'm here now."

"I know," he said, but didn't sound sure.

Sam moved closer, put her head under Pete's chin so he couldn't see her face and said,

"Just hold me?"

"Okay," he tightened his arms. In the pressure of his arms there seemed to be relief as much as anything else.

Sam inhaled and let it out in a slow sigh.

"That's a good sigh, right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

Pete started kissing her forehead her eyelids.

"Pete," she said, even though she wasn't exactly sure what came next.

"Shh," he said, "I'm here. You're here."

She settled down and tried to make her head shut down.

It took a long time to get the frozen image of O'Neill to stop replaying on the endless feedback loop of her mind.

(0)


	122. Chapter 122

**Still dealing with the events of Lost City but moving into New Order now. Again, trying to tell multiple stories and write multiple missing scenes.**

The talks about Antarctica had stalled and Daniel suspected it wouldn't be the last time. He was frustrated beyond belief, sick of looking at stone gray walls and missed his fiancé. Jillian had gone home to deal with the minutia of their lives because there was only so much that cleaning services and automatic payment and landscapers could do to keep their normal lives functioning. There was also a wedding date that was fast approaching and he intended to marry her, whether Jack could be there or not.

He took advantage of the gym first and worked out for a while with Teal'c pushing him until he wanted to drop a barbell on the Jaffa's head. Then he showered, changed into denim and a sweater and went to find Sam so that she also knew he was leaving the Base.

He hated leaving them really. The SGC was not a place of happy campers at the moment. All the teams leaders had their backs up about canceled missions, the scientific teams were all angry about the damage to ongoing research and other projects and there was a collective feeling of WTF about civilian oversight.

Jack had met with everyone before they'd left and Daniel felt a sharp pang at the memory of how well he had handled it. Daniel had been slightly shocked by the vehemence in the team leader meeting. He was used to military that followed orders. The men and women who led their off-world teams had crowded into one of the larger VIP rooms and muttered among themselves for a while until Jack – half standing but perched on the edge of one of the round wood tables – had shouted,

"Okay, _out_ with it and consider that an order."

They had practically spoken on top of each other, with Reynolds shocking the hell out of Daniel by demanding why – if it had to be a civilian – wasn't it Dr. Jackson? Frustrated voices had chimed in immediately with support for the idea. Dr. Jackson was better qualified in every conceivable way than this Dr. Weir. If it had to be a civilian why not one they knew, who had been out there and knew what they were up against and would give orders they would follow? They'd have taken orders from Daniel willing, at least they all claimed they would and Daniel had been oddly touched by the overwhelming consensus.

Underneath was an undercurrent of resentment at Hammond being so abruptly transferred out and at a time when Jack himself was unable to assume command and that was also about trust and respect.

Jack had found answers to everything that could be answered. He'd reminded the SG team leaders that their ultimate commander in chief was the President and he'd put Weir in charge and they better not give her any crap. He'd surrendered his command to the next senior Colonel by service time – who just happened to be Gerald Mallory – and spent a few hours bringing Mal up to speed with everything that was going on. Daniel had seen the look that passed between Mallory and Jack after the announcement. It was a fast, sharp, military exchange full of meaning and understanding. This whole situation was fucked up and the next few weeks were going to be hell; not to even mention the chaos once they resumed regular Gate operation.

Jack hadn't told anyone his suspicions about Weir and who had really put her here and what he true purpose was. He'd said nothing out loud at least but his own team had exchanged a long look that held a single word – _Kinsey._

Even with the Ancients rewiring his brain, Jack O'Neill hadn't been anyone's fool. But it was a damned miserable time for him to be checking out, worse professionally than personally and that was saying a lot.

Now the SGC was moving forward as well as it could on stand down and it was largely due to Jack's efficiency in the face of crisis; and Daniel missed him more than he would ever had believed possible. The day he had resisted was here – the day he looked up and Jack was gone. Daniel felt like he was playing chess and suddenly a new player had sat down right in the middle of the end game.

He found Sam in the commissary eating lunch with Pete, who hadn't managed to return to Denver yet for some reason. He'd practically moved in with Sam and now he was back at work with her.

Sam greeted Daniel with a forced smile that faded almost immediately. He only nodded to both of them. They were both exhausted. They wanted to get to Antarctica and were feeling the strain of two race horses being held in the starting gate too long.

"What's going on?" he asked her.

"Pete just told me he applied for a position with the Colorado Springs PD and he got an offer."

Daniel let the moment hang. He hated polite conversation. He hated things that would only come out sounding scripted. He shifted into scientist – a way of existence that was utterly natural to him.

"Is it a good position?" he asked Pete in a voice that was running in neutral. "A good opportunity?"

"It's more of a lateral move," he leaned closer to Sam and put his arm across the back of her chair. "But I think it's completely worth it. I want to be closer to Sam and the commute is just ridiculous. I think she needs someone to take care of her now."

Daniel let his carefully schooled gaze slide over to Sam. At any other time he would have expected her to get her back up and spit like a wet cat at the very idea of needing someone to take care of her. He'd been in the field with her and knew how capable she was.

He got another tight smile from her and then she looked at Pete and smiled in a different way. Daniel studied her with all the intensity he gave a script that had to be translated. He'd seen Sam's sidelong looks at Jack; and Daniel was also madly in love with a woman who for some reason was madly in love with him. He knew how Jillian looked at him.

He knew how a woman looked at man she was head-over-heels-crazy-in-love-with.

This wasn't that look. Daniel sensed that Sam wanted it to be and she was trying to make it be.

When she glanced back at him he hoped his whole expression wasn't screaming _what the hell?_

"Did you need me for something?" she asked.

"Umm, no. I just wanted to let you know I'm going home for a while. I'll leave my phone on."

"Actually, we're leaving too," Sam said, "We're going grocery shopping."

"Grocery shopping," Daniel repeated and wondered how long he could keep all inflection out of his voice.

"Yes," Pete said, brightly, "She's been explaining why we have to buy soy milk instead of dairy."

"It lasts longer," Daniel said, automatically.

"Are you going to check on Jack's house?" Sam asked.

"No, Teal'c's going there and he said he'd stay overnight. His phone is on too."

The silence lingered between them for a moment and then Pete leaned over and gave Sam a quick kiss on the side of her head and stood up.

"I'm going to get dessert. You want something?" he asked.

"No," Sam said, "I'm good."

The truth she wasn't really eating and Daniel was worried about her. When Pete left Daniel speared her with a look.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yes, fine," she said.

Daniel tilted his head and took a deep breath.

"Sam, a guy just suggested you need to be taken care and you didn't immediately scratch his eyes out," he pointed out.

"Don't you take care of Jillian?" she asked.

"Not like _that,"_ he said.

"Like what?"

"Not in ways she can damn well take care of herself or she'd scratch my eyes out; and grocery shopping? When did we stop calling Safeway and getting it delivered?"

Sam started to answer but Pete returned and had brought her a cup of blue jello. She smiled gratefully and reached for the spoon. Before Daniel could say another thing, Sam said,

"Say hi to Jillian for me, okay?"

Daniel resisted clenching his teeth. It was an obvious dismissal from the woman who was now his team leader. His CO, though the waters got really muddy sometimes. In the field he was supposed to report to Sam and she reported to Weir. But he reported directly to Weir as a department head. The science department was his and Sam was supposed to bring everything to him first.

With Gate operations suspended, it got even muddier.

And technically it was none of his damned business. It was none of his business who his teammate was dating and it was none of his damn business who his CO was seeing.

But, _holy crap, Sam!_ What are you _doing?_

It was like she had given up, like she had finally chosen between her feelings for Jack and her oath to the Military Code of Justice and she'd had enough of Jack leading her on and disappearing on her and almost getting killed.

"Call me if anything changes," he didn't phrase it as a question, leveling the playing field.

"I will," she answered and if he got one more forced smile out of her he would scream.

He left them sharing a bite of apple pie and ice cream from Pete's fork and walked much too quickly towards the elevator. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than his own house and bright sunshine and clean air and the loving arms of his fiancé.

(0)


	123. Chapter 123

He walked in the back door of his house, through the door of the laundry room that would bring him to the kitchen and the top of the stairs that led down into the room he and Jillian deliberately didn't call a 'family room'.

At first he thought she was listening to the stereo and then he realized that, no, she was playing his grandmothers antique piano. The music was too rich, too immediate. He knew she could play and often did at parties, just as he did. He knew they could both read sheet music. Music was just another language when all was said and done and perfect pitch was among all the other things he had been blessed/cursed with. He recognized it of course. It was Jillian's favorite piece of classical music. – Beethoven's _Für Elise._

He had known she could play. He hadn't known she could play like that – as if her heart was breaking, as if she had been fighting something and lost.; as if the sun, moon and stars had all gone out and left her in the dark.

She got through the opening bars in a way that made him what to cry and as she reached the section where the music was supposed to rise briefly into something stronger and the song abruptly shut off in a discordant sound of keys all being struck at once, a mash of fists instead of the flow of delicate fingers.

His body gave a jerk as the noise startled him out of his suspended state and he pounded down the down stairs, stopping instantly at the bottom, holding the banister for support and staring at her.

He had expected to find her bleeding or sobbing, curled up in a ball on the couch.

Jillian was seated on the bench with her curled fists still on the keys, catty-corner to the stairs. She looked up, shocked to see him, color draining from her face.

"Daniel,' she gasped.

Her voice broke him loose. He crossed the distance between them in long strides, sat down beside her and swept her up in his arms. He didn't miss the fact that she tensed up instead of reaching for him.

"Baby, what's wrong?" His voice was anguished.

"I didn't know you were coming home. I'm sorry. I …." She trailed off.

He stroked her hair. "Tell me what's wrong," he said again.

"Nothing. I just wanted to play…."

Daniel sat back, got her jaw in his hand and made her look up at him.

"And that's the first time _you've_ ever lied to _me_," he said.

Her eyes slid away and she pulled her face away from his hand. Daniel frowned, stared at her and then suddenly a horrible thought spider-crawled down his spine. It seemed obvious to him that Sam had given up on all the pain and heart ache…..

"You want to break up," he said, strangled, heart shattering into a million pieces.

Jillian's head whipped back around and her eyes were shocked.

"_What? No! NO_. Daniel, for heaven's sake, what made you say that?"

He swallowed while tremors still rocked him and made him feel sick.

"The way you were playing…. What we just went through against Anubis…I could have been killed again and I know how much you hate it when I'm missing, and presumed dead and….and…and actually really dead….and the way you were playing. I've never heard you play like that. I know something is wrong and I don't know what it is so maybe you're just finally sick of putting up with me and the high risk and the…the_….everything_ you have to deal with to be with me…."

"Stop," she begged, "Daniel, stop."

He took a breath and clamped his mouth shut.

"I love you," she said, "Our love is like…like an incredible soul deep friendship that caught on fire. I can't put it out. I wouldn't try. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

Daniel's heart rate was starting to return to normal.

"That what's wrong and don't you dare tell me 'nothing'," he said, firmly.

Jillian picked at the keys for a moment, the opening notes of Für Elise. On the ninth note he picked up the left hand and they played together for a moment until she stopped again in the same place as before.

She fixed her eyes on the neatly arranged book shelf just beyond the piano and spoke in halting uncertain sentences. He could tell this wasn't a conversation she had ever gone over in her mind. This was something she had never intended to share with anyone, _ever._

"When you…..when you died, Ascended…. When you were gone one of the things I wanted more than anything else in the world, besides wanting you back…" She stopped, swallowed.

Daniel moved his hand across the keys and put it over hers. Jillian looked up at him and fell into haunting blue eyes. Hawk-winged brows were drawn tight together in a deep frown.

"What I wished we had ….what I wish had happened before….I wished that we had been able to have a child together. I wanted a reason, something, _someone_, that would help me want to go on. A little boy who looked like you; or a little girl who looked like both of us. There didn't seem to be anything of _us_ left, Daniel. There was just me and memories I didn't have anyone to share with. I wished so much that there was someone I could help grow up to be just like you and tell stories to, about his Dad. It wasn't just you that was gone. We were gone too. What we had… _have_….is so amazing and there wasn't anything left to show that it had ever existed."

Daniel took his glasses off and put them on the piano. Tears were flowing down Jillian's cheeks. There was no way they were getting through this without both of them being in tears. She turned and put her face against his chest, her hands on his forearms.

"And just now, this last mission and Anubis and everyone going on about the Alpha site and the human race continuing and all I could think was that, well, there was no reason for _me_ to go, especially if something happened to you and…"

"Stop," he said. He couldn't listen to her anymore. He understood and he just couldn't listen to his bright, articulate, wonderful bride-to-be trying to put this much pain into words.

She had been pouring it out into music and wasn't able to get through it. He wouldn't make her keep trying to put it in words.

_Gods_, he was such an idiot sometimes. Just because they had never talked about this since the night she had told him four years ago didn't mean it wasn't still grief she was carrying around in some kind of awful purgatory.

And now that she had said it so plainly – a little boy who looked like him, a little girl who looked like them – he realized it was something he wanted too. He tended to get into trouble more often than Jillian but he had come very close to losing her more than once. She was right. There would be nothing left of them if that happened, just memories and a handful of photographs.

He stroked her hair in sweet, tender movements. Gently, barely touching her.

"If that's what you want, we'll find a way," he said.

Jillian choked on a sob. "Don't," she pleaded, "Don't make me promises like that. I love you for wanting to say it, but it's impossible and we both know it."

"Isn't that what we do? Impossible things?"

"In our jobs, it sometimes seems that way," she said. She hadn't looked up, still had her head just below his collar bone. Her fingers were still clenched around his biceps. "But this is just us. It's just me and I can't ever …can't ever…."

She started crying again and he pulled her a little tighter.

"There are other ways. We can adopt."

"That's not fair to you. You're so brilliant, Daniel. You should pass that on and I….oh my god it sounds so selfish, but I want something that we made and I can't ever have that. Nothing else will would fill up the loss of what _we_ are. There's surrogacy but…."

She trailed off again and Daniel felt a fresh stab of pain. He brushed his eyes against her hair to dry them.

"I know. I understand. I wouldn't ask you to do that."

He felt her confusion before she even shook back her hair as she looked up at him.

"Really? Why?"

"Because of Shifu," he said, sadly, "If I had been able to keep him after I found him, I would have loved him, and cared for him and made sure he had everything he needed and protected him with my own life. But he would never have been mine. He would always have been Sha're's, with someone else, not me. I would never have seen myself in him or a continuation of what she and I had been."

"Oh, god, Daniel," she whispered and as hard as it was to hear it was somehow comforting that he did understand. "Is it wrong? For me to feel this way? I could lose you, so easily. I already have! Is it wrong for me to want this so badly?"

"No," he said, gently. He started murmuring endearments in Gaelic, kissing a place on her face in between each one, "No, mo mhúirnín bán," forehead, "mo mhíle stór," eyelids, "mo mhíle grá." The corner of her mouth….

"Why can't I just have what everyone else seems to just get?" she said, and some frustration bled into the pain.

Daniel cradled her face between his hands and she let his thumbs stroke away tears.

"I'm sorry, Daniel," she said, sounding miserable and lost, "I really didn't mean to burden you with any of this. I didn't know you were coming home."

"Jillian!" he said, exasperated. "You just called our relationship a friendship on fire. If I'm your friend as well as the man who loves you why wouldn't you tell me?"

"Because it makes me sounds so …so…whiney and ungrateful for everything I _do _have. My _god,_ I have _you!_ That should be enough; and there isn't anything you can do!" she said, "And I know you! When there's something daring you, challenging you, you make yourself crazy trying to fix it and now you have to work on fixing this thing with Jack and I can't let anything stop you from concentrating on that and, Daniel, I love you but there isn't _anything_ you can do about this."

Daniel stared into her misty eyes for a moment more and then drew her close into the shelter of his arms again, kissing the top of her head and staring at the rows of books without seeing them. He rocked her and soothed her and continued murmuring in Gaelic because it was the softest and most lyrical language he knew.

He didn't like the word 'impossible'. He'd been meeting it with the word 'why?' as long as he could remember. He hadn't accomplished anything in his life because of his genius or his education, though those had certainly helped. He had done everything because of sheer cussed persistence and determination.

He had no real idea how he was going to fix this for Jillian.

But he was.

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mo mhúirnín bán - moh vor-neen bahn – Gaelic, my fair darling

Mo mhíle stór - moh veelah shtore – my thousand treasures

Mo mhíle grá - moh veela grah - my thousand loves


	124. Chapter 124

Daniel walked into their quarters and inhaled softly. Jillian had jasmine and aloe candles burning to bring some life to the recycled air. There was also a hint of date palm. He had no idea where she got candles that reminded him of the desert, and he suspected they were burning now to help bring him some peace and a sense of calm.

Sometimes he just adored her. When he was with her they were _happy. _She made him laugh and he had been rather surprised to find that he could make her laugh.

He hadn't really heard her laugh in a few weeks, he realized.

And yet, here, in private, even with all that was going on, there was still a kind of happiness he had never expected to find. In public, Jillian was smart and capable, friendly but respectful enough with all the other men on the Base for them to find her approachable but off limits. In private she seemed to exist only to be with Daniel.

_No one else knows her the way I do,_ he thought; and on the heels of that was the thought, _No one else knows me the way she does. Is that what's going on with Sam? Does she know a Pete the rest of us don't see?_

The whole thing made him want to grit his teeth. One moment it had been crystal clear to him that Sam was in love with Jack, fighting for his life, sobbing in Daniel's lap when they'd put Jack in the chamber, crying into Teal'c's shoulder again when they left him under the ice.

Then they were back here and Sam had done a one-eighty that left Daniel's head spinning. Suddenly she had dialed everything up with Pete.

He resisted a sigh and dragged himself back into the moment. Jillian was looking at him expectantly from those wide forest green eyes he adored.

She was cross legged on the bed in a white tank top and grey sweat pants, barefoot, with her laptop open in front of her and a pencil in her hand. She looked up, smiled at him a little uncertainly.

"Something's happened," she said.

He held up his hand to signal that she should take a breath. He knew the speed at which her mind could work.

"I want to tell you first that I'm not going," he said.

It was all the information she needed to immediately rush through the scientific method and come to a conclusion.

"Sam got permission to take the scout ship to contact the Asgard," she said, "and you're not going because you won't leave Jack."

He smiled a little. "How did you know?"

"You didn't leave Jack the first time this happened. You won't leave him now," she said.

He nodded and then went to sit beside her on the bed.

"Well, yeah, and Sam kind of ordered me to stay," he said, sliding closer and looking at her computer screen. "Is that the lexicon for the language on 202?"

"Yes," she answered with forced cheerfulness.

"Is it done?" he had taken over the mouse to scroll through the various sections.

"All but the phraseology collocations," she answered, "It's so close to Gaelic it wasn't really a problem for me. It's just been getting to it, and it's not like we're going anywhere now. I thought I'd take advantage of the downtime and get caught up."

Daniel looked at her. "I'm sorry," he said, as something dawned on him, "I haven't been a very effective department head during all of this have I? I haven't really told anyone what they're supposed to be doing."

Jillian shrugged, "They're used to you being gone or needed elsewhere. They know what to do and if they've had questions they've come to me. That's how you set it up and it's been working."

Daniel looked at her for a moment. Jillian was more than his fiancé; more than his future wife. She was truly his partner in every aspect of his life.

He wanted that for Sam. How could she ever get that with someone like Pete?

Jillian looked at him sideways. "Did I hear you say Sam _ordered_ you to stay here?"

He kept his eyes focused on the laptop screen, but she saw the crease around his eyes and the way his mouth thinned. His jaw jumped a little when he clenched his teeth and she saw that now too.

Jillian almost sighed. Only Daniel would get angry about being ordered to do something he was going to do anyway.

"She's in command of the team now," he said, short, flat syllables strung together as if he had rehearsed them.

She couldn't stop the derisive little noise as it forced its way into being.

"Daniel, team or not, no one's ever been in command of you."

"Hammond was and now Weir is. The fact is that Sam only argued for her and Teal'c to go."

"And she's right," Jillian said, "She's been training for these types of decisions for most of her life, Daniel. There is _nothing_ you can do on the scout ship, or when you get there."

"I know," he said, shortly.

"So what's wrong?"

"I'm not sure, but it's almost like she doesn't want me around suddenly, like she's been avoiding me."

"Sam?" Jillian asked. There was no mistaking the surprise in her voice. "There isn't a team in this building that's got a stronger bond than yours, not even mine."

"Something's changed," Daniel answered.

Jillian reached over and closed the laptop, pulling it away from him.

"Talk to me," she demanded.

"You and Sam have become very close in the last few years. Don't you think she's acting a little strange?"

"I think she's under a tremendous strain and dealing with a lot that is out of her hands."

Daniel paused and looked around the room. He knew Jack was insane about sweeping their rooms for surveillance. It had been the first thing they'd done last Monday morning and Jack had drilled him to make sure he knew how to do it. They had still been suspicious of Weir then. Daniel wasn't sure they still weren't suspicious of Weir, even with Kinsey supposedly out of the picture.

He knew the room was clean. He and Jillian had swept it that morning.

"She's in love with Jack," he said, "and he's in love with her."

Jillian inhaled sharply. "_Jesus, _Daniel."

He went on, rapid fire, as if she hadn't spoken, pulling statements from the vast storehouse of his photographic memory,

"They have been almost from the beginning and for a long time I thought they were just using the frat regs as an excuse so I pulled out the military code of justice and found them. Actually I did that twice because when I was trying to get my memories back I had forgotten everything I read before and then I started being aware that was something was going on with them and I didn't remember it until I started reading them again. The Air Force defines fraternization as a relationship between officers and enlisted personnel, which I guess is how Jack gets around spending so much time with all of us. None of us are enlisted. Hell, Teal'c and I aren't even military. Then there's all this bizarre language about a relationship between officers and their immediate superiors, which of course Jack is her immediate supervisor but even then there didn't seem to be a problem unless the relationship becomes 'unprofessional'. There's a whole long cautionary statement about 'the possibility that relationships that are not initially unprofessional may become so due to changed circumstances' like Sam and Jack are suddenly going to start throwing china at each other in the middle of a fire fight with the Goa'uld or something. There's also a clause about how Air Force officers are expected to avoid those relationships that negatively affect morale, discipline, respect for authority and unit cohesion. So instead we've had this underlying tension for seven years and sometimes Sam is miserable and sometimes Jack is miserable and how has that not negatively affecting us as a unit? That time on 8596 when he went off with Kynthia. I knew what he was going to do and Sam knew it too and I _know _Teal'c did and we all just let him go have unprotected sex and then it was even worse because it was unprotected sex under an alien influence and if he had been in a secure positive relationship with Sam, or even thought he could have one, I don't think that would have ever happened. _She_ would have stopped him. She would have _known_ something was up. Instead we let a bunch of people holding _flowers_ stop us from stopping him.

"I mean, _jesus_, there's even a long section about not letting friendship negatively affect morale. How are we supposed to have not become friends out there? And…and… and they let us still be friends. We're always together. We're always with your team when we're not with mine.

"So as I'm reading through this code of military conduct and just getting madder and madder because I can't understand why Sam and Jack have been acting like lunatics for seven years and then I found it. 'The formation of such relationships between superiors and subordinates within the same chain of command or supervision is prohibited because such relationships invariably raise the perception of favoritism or misuse of position and erode morale, discipline and unit cohesion.' Prohibited, not discouraged, just flat prohibited. Forbidden and…and…and they swore an _oath_ to this and they're both just so fucking military. I mean look at Sam. She's a military brat. She grew up on Bases and she takes it very seriously. It's not just in her background, it's in her DNA. She'd die before she'd dishonor the military tradition or her family. How could she ever face her father again if she got court martialed for having a relationship with her commanding officer?

"And Jack… _god_ Jack lost everything and all he had left was the military and no one knows that better than I do. So I know they couldn't…they _can't_ do anything and I know they won't do anything and I know we're going to get Jack out of Antarctica and then we're going to just keep pretending that they don't love each other and Sam's going to settle for Pete and she knows I know that.

I mean, Pete's a nice guy Jill, really. He's fun at karaoke night though he's also kind of likely to wind up being the one with the lampshade on his head. But I just for the life of me can't figure out how he keeps someone like Sam engaged. You just sat here and talked to me about Gaelic phraseology collocations. Do you think _Pete_ talks to Sam about cosmic microwave backgrounds; or whatever it was she was going on about a few weeks ago?

"And, Jill, I just don't know what to do about it. I'm not sure it's even up to me, or if I should try to do something or if that will just make it worse. I…I love them both, and I…."

He stopped on a long, hard sigh, looking at his hands. When he finally focused on Jillian again she was staring at him with her lips slightly parted and her eyes were wide. After a brief, silent moment she scooted closer to him, put her arms around his shoulders and her forehead on his upper arm.

"It hurts you," she said, gently. "You're scared this won't end well for them, even with Kinsey out of the way. Wow, no wonder Jack has been so insane about surveillance. You don't think they ever… that she and Jack ever…"

"Jillian!" Daniel cried, sounding pained. "I'm _not_ going there."

"Okay. I'm sorry," she kissed his arm through the fabric of his t-shirt. "I love them too."

He turned his head so that it was resting on hers for a moment, covered her hand with his.

"I know. I just want them to have a chance. I want them to have what we have, you know?"

Jillian nodded. "I do." She kissed his arm again. "I do, baby, really. But I think you need to stay out of this and let them work it out."

"Have you seen Sam with Pete lately?" he asked, rhetorically. He knew she had.

"It's her life, Daniel. You can't live it for her. She seems happy," Jillian answered.

"Maybe she's just lived with tragedy and chaos for so long that she can't process what happiness really is anymore," Daniel observed.

""Or maybe the inherently ephemeral nature of happiness is tragedy in itself, and the happier we are, the sadder it really is, because everything ends," Jillian said.

Daniel blinked at her. "I think I just remembered why I don't discuss philosophy with you."

"I'm sorry," she said, with a small apologetic smile, "You know where my head has been lately. We can't 'go on', Daniel. When we end, everything we were together ends."

Daniel turned, wrapped his arms around her and cradled her head in the palm of her hand.

"I keep thinking of all those other realities we've collided with," she said, "and wondering if, maybe, in one of those…."

"Jill, stop," he said, pushing his glasses up for a moment to rub his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, "There isn't enough Kleenex on the Base for us to do all this right now."

She smiled sadly, wiped her eyes on his shirt.

"You want Sam and Jack to have what we have," she guessed, "Even if it can only be for _now,_ the way we have it."

"I want them to be happy," he said, a little helplessly.

"Getting court martialed for an illegal affair is unlikely to make either of them happy, Daniel," Jillian pointed out, "Neither is being forced to resign or retire."

He held her, rested his chin on the top of her head.

"This _sucks_," Daniel said finally and she couldn't help but smile a little. Her bright, articulate, multi-lingual wonderful fiancé was sometimes completely eloquent with only two words.

"I know," she said.

"It's not _fair."_

"I know."

"It's such a breakthrough for Jack. He was so shut down and now…."

"I know."

"Why can't they just say 'fuck the fate of the world' and give in?"

She twisted her head and looked at him. She wanted to ask if he would, for her, but she knew the answer was no and it would kill him to say it and kill him to lie.

So she said, "You know why," and dared him to make the conclusion on his own.

She saw the truth in his haunted eyes, the frown on his forehead. The denial he wanted to make died unsaid. He pulled her close again and stroked her hair.

"I do love you, Jill," he said, softly.

"I know you do," she answered.

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	125. Chapter 125

**A/N Tag to New Order part 1, explaining why Daniel was late getting to the Gate Room for the arrival of the Goa'uld.**

**(0)**

Daniel woke, groaning, sheened in sweat, thrashing in the sheets. He felt Jillian sit up beside him and heard the snap of the light coming on. He slammed his eyes shut and fought the dizzy spin in his head.

He had no idea what he had been dreaming but it couldn't be good.

He'd been buried in work since Sam and Teal'c left. He was fighting for Jack's life on every level. The military was making noises about writing Jack off as a casualty of war, even MIA even though they knew perfectly well where he was! Daniel seriously suspected Kinsey was still in that mix. The President couldn't actually fire him and he hadn't resigned yet. It would take criminal charges and 2/3 majority of the Senate to oust him if he didn't resign. It had been almost impossible for Daniel to keep Jack as a focused issue when all the interest was on the outpost and the weapon.

He had found back channels he didn't know existed. He had Sam's technical personnel working overtime looking at footage of the stasis chamber and trying to figure out how to revive Jack safely. They didn't even have access to the actual technology. He could hear Jack's _for cryin' out loud _echoing in his head.

He'd worked himself into alternate states of manic excitement and jaw-clenched determination. He'd gotten almost no sleep until Jillian had dragged him home and made him eat and he'd passed out on the couch. He'd woken to find his living room dark, with just the moonlight through the sheer curtains, the glow of all the LEDs from the kitchen and the soft ticking of the antique clock in the dining room. At some point Jillian must have thrown a blanket over him.

He dragged himself up, banged his knee on the end table as he tried to get around it and got into the hall and found the door of the bedroom. He used the bathroom, brushed his teeth and shut the light out without waking Jillian.

She'd been asleep, wearing one of his tank shirts and snuggled under the sheets and quilt. He stripped down to nothing and put his glasses on the nightstand and his cell phone under his pillow using only the moonlight steaming through the French doors for guidance. She'd automatically rolled onto her side with her back to him and let him slide into the cold side of the sheets and spoon up against her. Arms and legs enfolded, his cheek resting against her hair, he had been able to go back to sleep instantly.

Now he was awake, shaking. He was still a little angry with Sam for leaving him here, if he was being honest. He had been anxious to go to Hala, to _do _something, to find the Asgard and get them to _do _something; and they had hamstrung him with the most compelling argument anyone could have had made. If they failed he was Jack's only hope.

And now the Goa'uld wanted a meeting. Here.

No wonder he was awake. He was blessedly relieved he couldn't remember what he had been dreaming. But it couldn't have been good and how the hell had he still managed to wake up hard? He pulled his knees up, exhaled deeply and raked his fingers through damp hair. He squinted at the clock but it was too far away to make out what it said. It was a blur of squiggled lines.

"Dan?" Jillian said, softly.

She never touched him right away when he woke up like this – muzzy, hard and wired from a bad dream intruding on the privacy of their bed. She knew better than to do that. There was always just the short, soft, truncated version of his name reminding him where he was and who he was with.

He took a deep breath and felt her doing the same thing in a sympathetic reflex as she leaned a little closer.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Seven thirty six," she said.

"Crap," he said, shoving back the covers, grabbing his glasses and swinging out of bed. "I'm going to be late."

"For?"

"The Goa'uld meeting was moved up to 9 am," he said.

"What?" she sounded stunned and scrambled up to follow him out of bed, "You didn't tell me that! Now we'll both be late."

"No _we_ won't," he said, stopping just short of the bathroom door and still wearing nothing but his glasses and a fairly impressive morning erection.

"Yes, we will."

"No, _we_ won't, Jill, because you're staying here."

Gods, it was the wrong way to have phrased that and he knew it the moment it left his mouth. He watched her shut down. Her eyes narrow and the elegant line of her jaw straightened.

Daniel knew a moment of blind frustration. She knew him too well. She had to _know_ he wouldn't want her within a thousand miles of a Goa'uld much less three of them and a Jaffa with a larvae in god-knows-what stage of development.

"_Tā māde niǎo,"_ he growled, "Jillian, I'm _not_ doing this now. I've lost Jack. I have no contact at all with Sam and Teal'c and don't' even know if they're alive. I just woke up from dreaming god-alone-knows-what-kind of-horror and I will _not _let you be on the Base at the same time as the Goa'uld if I have to tie you up and gag you to leave you here!"

She went from angry to utter, unfeigned shock. "Tie me up?" she repeated.

Jillian had spent a lot of time surrounded by military men for the last seven years. She had never seen anyone's expression go so hard so fast, even as he answered her in the softest, most deadly tone she had ever heard.

"Yes. If I have to spend the rest of my life begging you to forgive me for it, then so be it. At least you'll _be_ here for me to beg."

He meant it and Jillian continued to stay shocked. Daniel's normal MO was to lead her with love, turn on the Innocent-Blue-Eyes-of-Doom that she could never say no to, stroke her hearing and senses with that velvet rich voice that was like honey being poured in the sun.

Right now Daniel was coiled like a wire and ready to snap. She'd never seen him this stressed.

It took a long for the penny to drop – the penny that was her understanding of his current thoughts. It fell in slow motion but struck her like a hammer.

She bit down hard on her Scottish temper and her fierce sense of independence – sealed it in a jar in her mind until it went out. No air, no flames. When she did nothing but continue to stare at him he ducked his head only slightly but his eyes didn't even seem to blink.

He answered the question she hadn't even voiced. "Yes, I mean it."

"_Daniel_," she whispered, making an apology out of his name. "Don't be angry with me. _Please_."

"Then don't ask me to risk losing you and not in that way. You're the only thing I have left. It's only because I love you so much."

The profound emotion of the moment rose up between them and settled into the walls and floor, permeated the air. Jillian's eyes were still riveted on his face, eyes locked with his beyond the reflection of light in his glasses.

Daniel always projected an illusion of being open and emotional and honest about himself. The truth was he gave up less of himself, less of his deeply personal interior, than anyone she knew. He was stunningly beautiful at the moment. He was still braced, shoulders back, feet apart, hands just short of clenching into fists. Virile, masculine, powerful, almost feral.

And sharing a deep emotional vulnerability that pulled at her the way the moon drew the ocean.

Jillian took two steps towards him and stopped when he held up his hand and looked away, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Don't," he said, pleading, "If you touch me I'll just be all that much later."

She hesitated for only another second and then walked up to him. She got close enough to feel him breathing. She put her hand on his chest and felt his strong, too-fast heart beating. She smoothed her palm over the expanse of his skin and felt it quiver.

Lifting up on tiptoe, she turned her face to his and offered him her mouth.

"Then you'll just have to be late," she said.

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	126. Chapter 126

**A/N still tagging New Order part 2. This is utterly Sam/Jack-centric, but without it there's this huge break from the beginning of part 2 to the credits rolling. **

**(0)**

_He'd always had, or so Daniel insisted, the potential for Ascension. Daniel had thought he'd had that potential even in human form, all the genetic ability in the world passed down to him through the Ancients._

_Daniel didn't know some of the things Jack had done. Daniel would never know if Jack could help it. He had refused the privilege, unable to release the burden of his sins. Now he had the knowledge and could, from the expanded viewpoint of that knowledge, find a way to Ascend if he wanted._

_But he doesn't want; and he never will. He's been clinging to life for too long against too many odds and there are too many things left undone. He'd like to be safe but safety is an illusion. He's learned not to trust it. So he clung to the memory of life and even of danger and he clung to the memory of her so he wouldn't drift loose and become lost to the winds of the void he now inhabited._

_One of those things is floating in front of him and behind him at the same time. There's his future in front of him__and his past behind him and both of those are made up entirely of Sam._

_The one in front of him is facing towards him. Her eyes are locked with his and her expression is sad but full of love. She's wearing a blue sun dress that leaves her arms and shoulders bare and sandals and her long lovely legs are bare also and she's so impossibly stunning and so altogether impossible. Her hands are clasped in front of her and hidden in the flowing folds of her skirt. It hasn't happened yet, but might be happening even as he floated in this strange place that isn't life and isn't death and isn't Ascension. He can't reach for her even though he wants to. That Sam doesn't exist and never has and probably never can. _

_He wants to reach for her. It's all he's wanted to do for years. But there are shackles on the hands he wants to raise to touch her face and pull her close; on the hands he wants to rest on her slim hips as he kisses her. The shackles are a dragging weight on his arms, and he knows he can't break them._

_When he looks down he finds his wrists gripped in the talons of a silver eagle, a wheat sheaf over his right wrist and a group of arrows over his left. The eagle claws are digging in hard enough to draw blood._

_He wanted to promise her he would be there for her forever and he couldn't. He had already given that promise to someone else, something else and he'd learned the hard way that promise couldn't be given to two different people._

_He looks at her and feels desperate and she lifts her hands from the hidden folds of her skirt she's wearing the same shackles._

_The Sam behind him is different – young and earnest, stubborn and beautiful, wearing off-world combat gear, holding her P90 with all that glorious hair hidden under an Air Force cap. She's got his back. She's always had his back. The past surrounds him on waves of memory, of pain and heartbreak and love and desire._

_Neither his past nor his future move. There is only him, suspended forever between them. His present is now eternal, with the past haunting him and the future forever out of his reach._

_The Sam he's always had guarding him against the Sam he can never have._

"_Sam," he says into the ether. "Sam."_

_His voice is weak, a distant shadow of what he wants the word to say, what he wants the word to mean._

_Then it all started to dissolve and he was losing both of them and for a moment he was terrified…._

And then the world solidified and his head was throbbing like thunder and the light was too bright and he lifted his hand to block it out.

"Oy," he said, "What a headache."

Daniel's voice, soothing, relieved. "Take it easy. You've been through a lot."

He lowered his hand, sought Daniel and realized he was on an Asgard ship.

Well that explained a lot. He sat up with Daniel's help.

Bad idea. _Really _bad idea and he hoped someone had shot the mule that had kicked him in the head.

"What now," he asked, irritably.

"Um," Daniel began as if he really had no idea where to start," what's the last thing you remember?"

"Getting my head sucked…." Wow _that_ came out sounding wrong. He clarified, word stumbling over word coming out of his dry throat, "by one of those damned Ancient head-suckers." He paused and fought the image of something else, two women, blond….. Sam? "And something about twins." Desperate to stop that line of questioning before inquisitive, doggedly determined Daniel jumped all over it, he deflected it quickly.

"Teal'c," he said, "What's with the hair?"

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	127. Chapter 127

The moment Jack had opened his eyes Daniel had felt his lung capacity increase exponentially. First it had expanded when he saw Teal'c. In spite of the casually offhand 'Hey guys" his relief at seeing Teal'c had been enough to make his knees watery and his head spin a little and he'd fought down both responses because it was just plain unmanly to faint in front of a Jaffa.

The news about Sam had hit him hard and the space in his heart that belonged to her was still resisting it. This wasn't over and he wasn't ready to believe it.

Then Jack was also up and moving and talking and being normal, snarky Jack and he felt as if he'd taken his first breath after weeks in a vacuum.

Then they found Sam and Daniel managed to focus his vision and control his pounding heart long enough to watch them carefully and he saw Sam and Jack looking at each other as if there was no one else in the whole world. Sam didn't look even remotely surprised, as if she'd always known he would be back because he was the only sure and certain thing in her world; and Jack was looking at her like she was the only star left in the sky.

At that point, maybe it was exhaustion and maybe it was rage and maybe it just a need to get at the truth because he'd devoted his life to it, but Daniel had had it. Standing there still riding an adrenaline high, with the blood singing in his ears and relieve making his heart throb.

He couldn't say anything right now. He'd just gotten them back and the odds were good that Jack would knock him on his ass if he started talking about It now.

With an effort Daniel swallowed the words and the feelings and decided to just be grateful for a moment. None of them were dead. Not dead always made it a very good day.

But he had things he wanted to speak to Thor about and now he had something very, very important to talk to Sam about; and nothing was going to stop him.

(0)

He cornered her later in the small room filled with banks of technology that served as the beating heart of _The Daniel Jackson_. It seemed fitting somehow and he was utterly certain an Asgard ship wasn't being bugged by Kinsey or the NID. She had a panel open and was looking over it with the intense concentration of the true scientist. She gave him a shy flash of smile and a soft,

"Hi, Daniel."

"Hey, Sam. Can we talk?"

"About what?" she asked with most of her concentration still on trying to make sense of Asgard magic.

"You and Jack," Daniel said bluntly.

Sam froze. She turned slowly, tensed for flight or fight. Daniel was between her and the door.

Her smile became beautiful and kind of terrible all at the same time. A wiser man would run from a woman whose mood had just changed that abruptly. But he had never been that man.

"So you want to Talk About It," she said, emphasizing the last four words.

"Yes," Daniel answered. "Don't you think we finally should?"

"Obviously you do," she fired back, "and I know you. Short of this ship exploding into a billion microscopic bits nothing is going to stop you. I'm just surprised it's you."

"Why?"

"No one hates people prying into his private life more than you do, Daniel."

That was true and he knew it. He had kept silent for all this time for that very reason. That silence lingered between them for a little bit longer and then she said,

"So. Talk."

She was still seated. He was standing and he was in that mode his team found the most irritating – determined to get the pain part of the discussion out in the open and over with as soon as possible. He sat down so he didn't seem so threatening.

"I can't change the way things are, Daniel," Sam began.

"You love him. Jack," Daniel stated.

"Does it matter?"

He didn't miss the fact that she hadn't answered him.

"Why wouldn't it?"

Sam ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, wondering if two scientists could have a talk like this without it just being a series of questions. When she didn't answer Daniel pressed his advantage, though his voice hadn't risen above its quietest tone.

"You've both been waiting," he guessed, "waiting for the world to not need you so much and now, right _now,_ things look better than they ever have. The Goa'uld are in chaos. Anubis is gone. Look what we just did to the Replicators! Isn't this what you've been waiting for? Once all of this is wrapped up…"

"Don't." It was so quiet and so lost and so lonely that it pulled Daniel up short.

"Don't?"

"Do this," Sam said and made a vague unhappy gesture with her hand into the air, "Don't try to make me think that I'm more important to him than the military. I know it isn't true. Not right now and maybe not ever. You're creating a fantasy, Daniel, in which the world is suddenly all safe and secure and we can stroll off into the sunset together because that's what you and Jillian are going to do and that's just not possible for me and Jack."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't look you in the face and tell you that he's more important to me than the military! Not right now! I know I could resign my commission and probably stay on with the program. I could make a life's work out of a half a dozen things we've discovered. I wouldn't mind not getting shot at so much but I just don't see it happening, Daniel."

"Why not?" Daniel repeated in that infuriating way.

"Because it's the most logical progression in the world!" She said, voice rising, "Jack gets the program. I doubt this civilian thing will last very long. General Hammond is working on the President and I know he can make him see that you don't take military command away in the middle of a war. This isn't the time to be running the SGC like a corporation. At best Jack _and you_ get the program and I'm _not_ going to be the one who gets in his way. The military is his life and if he retires then what? He goes fishing every day and the SGC loses the best possible person in the world? He sits around waiting for me to get home? We'd kill each other after three months. I won't let him do that, not for me; and if things go the way I think they will, I get SG1 and I'm not ready to give that up. _He _won't want me to do that. Do you think he wants to send you and Teal'c out there with just anyone? Do you think I want that?"

"No, "Daniel admitted. "But we don't want to be what keeps you and Jack apart either."

"You're not, Daniel. Don't take that burden when it doesn't exist. It's just us, Jack and me. Jack is what he _is_. He is what we _do_; and so am I. Outside of work, I want…. I think I just want…."

Sam trailed off, searching for a word and Daniel sighed in something like defeat,

"Normal," he said. How many times had Jillian asked him for that? Begged him for it even if it could only be for a few hours?

"Yes," Sam said, gratefully. She should have known Daniel would find the right word. "It's kind of nice to go home to someone who doesn't really know, who doesn't really ask, whose just fun."

He studied her carefully. Usually everything Sam thought and felt appeared on her face at some point. She was clearly keeping a tight lid on things at the moment.

"So you're okay with the way things are?" he asked in a slow, utterly neutral voice, trying not to be confrontational.

"Yes," she said and her eyes slid away from his.

"Sam," Daniel made the word a challenge.

She looked back. "We can't change anything right now, Daniel. But there is something I've been thinking about…"

"What?"

"Do you ever think about Jack's clone?"

The question briefly derailed his entire thought process. _What?_

"Not recently," Daniel admitted, "Things have been a little hectic lately. But yeah, I think about him a lot, alone out there."

"Me too," Sam said, "So I… I'm going to ask Thor to recreate Loki's cloning techniques, on me, so that I can go be with him."

Daniel's jaw literally dropped. "You…you'd be willing to do that?"

"I just said so," she answered. "In an ideal world it would be all of us. But Teal'c doesn't ever leave the mountain in his original form and there's the whole complication of either a symbiote or a supply of tretonin and he'd never agree to it just on those grounds; and you, well I don't know how Jillian would feel about that and you – or you 2.0 – would have to be willing to give her up and I already know the answer to that."

"She's my whole life, Sam," Daniel said, "Jack would never ask even a copy of me to do that. Besides there's something I want to ask Thor for, and Heimdahl too and I wasn't sure but," he paused and made a general gesture around him, "They seem to have named a ship after me so now I'm feeling a little more confident."

Sam looked incredibly puzzled. "What are you going to ask?"

Daniel told her and Sam looked stunned.

"Jillian will….. she'll be…." Sam stammered.

Daniel grinned a little. "Yeah, I know. But don't say anything to her okay? I don't even know if it's possible. I haven't asked, and now we want to ask Thor about this cloning thing."

"We?" Sam said.

"I'll back you. I hate that he's out there alone and I never got the feeling Thor was happy about it either," Daniel said, "and you're right. It seems Fate or Chance has given you and Jack a bizarre means to be together, without all the baggage of the last seven years. What about Jack? _Our _Jack."

"What about him?" Sam asked.

"Shouldn't he know?" Daniel asked.

"No, for his own protection," Sam said and cut him off as he drew a long breath to argue with her, "We're taking an enormous security risk, Daniel. If anyone finds out I'll be in a huge amount of trouble, way more than you. I took a chance even telling you and I'm starting to feel a little guilty about involving you in this now. But Jack will say no. This way we can just do it and ask forgiveness if it comes to that."

"Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?" Daniel said.

"Yep."

He studied her for a long time. "What about Sam 1.0? Pete's a great guy, Sam but… does he really challenge you the way you need to be?"

"Don't project, Daniel," Sam said, "I know you love how Jillian will argue with you about artifacts and hypothesis, how she's not even a little bit intimidated by how brilliant you are. It doesn't mean that's what I'm looking for. We don't laugh under the mountain. Pete makes me laugh. Pete isn't under any misguided impression that he isn't good enough for me."

It was too close to what he had been thinking just recently; and what she had just said was true. Jack _did _think he wasn't good enough for Sam. But still….

"You can't build a relationship just watching Comedy Central, Sam," he said.

"You can't build one constantly being at work, either; and I'm not interested in being put on a pedestal," she answered.

"When you see me with Jillian can you tell I'm happy?"

"Yes, you adore each other," Sam answered.

"I can't tell that with you and Pete."

"We've only been together a few months!" Sam protested and he could tell she was running out of patience with the conversation and ready to end it. "Look, Daniel. Jack has been pulling away from me for months. It started when you…."

"Died," he guessed but she said, "Ascended," in nearly the same breath. She smiled a little.

"I know you think we– Jack and I – have been waiting, but we're not. It's always been impossible and we've always known it. Daniel, I love you for being worried. But let me do this and see how it goes?"

_Normal. _He couldn't stop the word from rolling around in his head, couldn't stop the echo of Jillian's voice pleading for the same thing. If Pete was wrong for Sam, and Daniel believed that on every possible level he was, then Sam was smart enough to figure it out.

Sam stood up. "We're not far from Earth now. We should go talk to Thor if we're going to have time."

Daniel stood up too.

"Sam," he said, "Just promise me that you won't settle. Don't just take what you think you can get. Find someone who loves everything about you.'

Sam looked at him and realized Daniel knew what he was talking about. He'd had that once in Sha're and now he had been blesed to find it again. Jillian loved him exactly the way he was - at times obsessive, neglectful, intense, difficult, absent-minded, passionate, opinionated, stubborn, caring, fragile and strong, brilliant.

"Just trust me,okay?" Sam asked.

"Okay, Sam," he said and there was a wealth of meaning in that very simple phrase.

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	128. Chapter 128

The Asgard beam put them down without warning or announcement right in the middle of the Gate Room. There was a brief moment filled with the sound of weapons being aimed and the movement of marines into combat stance and Jack holding up his hands and saying,

"Whoa! Whoa! Easy there, fellas. Stand down."

Dr. Weir appeared at the window, took one look and vanished as she turned to come down to them. An instant later, amidst some very unprofessional cheering from the assembled Gate techs and marines, she appeared in the Gate Room.

"Welcome back," she said first to Jack and then with welcoming smiles to the rest of SG1.

She got a faint smile from Sam, a brief inclination of his head from Teal'c with no change in his basic expression or the degree of warmth in his eyes and that same shrewd measuring look from O'Neill that was no different than the first one he had given her.

_She'd tried to take a less dominant position, offer a little bit of humility… "I know I'm playing catch up…." And O'Neill had cut her off at the knees impatiently and with a smug backhanded reference to science, "Actually it's all relative, ma'am…."_

He was still the man who had stared down the Vice President of the United States as if he was a cockroach. He was still the man who had leaned forward across the length of a table, stared her in the eye and demanded to know who she was, really, even while the Ancients had been rewiring his memories.

The only one who seemed unaware of her greeting was Dr. Jackson. He was hurriedly stripping out of everything that wasn't supposed to leave the Gate Room.

"The Goa'uld?" he asked.

"Gone," she answered, "We let them go."

Daniel eyed her for a moment. There was a story in that but he'd wait for the debrief.

"Is Jillian here?"

"I believe she is, yes. If she left, no one told me."

Daniel was moving while Elizabeth was still talking. He found the phone on the wall and dialed Jillian's cell.

"Where are you?" he said into it after a moment, "Yeah, it's me!... Yes, I'm back and in one piece…Stay there? Okay, see you in a sec."

He hung up and turned around. "When are we debriefing?"

Daniel was acting like he was standing on hot coals.

"I think considering what you've all been through that it can wait until the morning," Elizabeth said.

It was all he needed to hear. Daniel bolted out the door.

Weir looked blankly after him for a moment and then glanced at O'Neill.

"He's got a hot date," Jack said, mildly.

(0)

She was waiting in the hall outside the office door but met him halfway the moment he came around the corner.

He was glowing, _laughing,_ as if a light had come on in his soul and driven away all the darkness. He wrapped her in both arm, crushing her ribs as he lifted her off her feet and swung her around and buried his face in her hair.

"Oh god, Jillian, _oh god,"_ he said.

He set her back down and she looked up to find his expression still suffused with joy. His smile was so wide she had to smile with him and then finally laughed even if she didn't know why.

"What happened?" she asked, breathless, wriggling a little because it was starting to be hard to inhale.

He relaxed a little but didn't let go.

"So much," he said, nuzzling into her hair. "So much I don't know where to start."

"Are you drunk?" she asked.

Another burst of breathless, deep, male laughter slipped up from his chest. His joy settled over her like a net of stardust.

"Daniel," she said, still caught up in his boisterous good mood. "Come in the office and tell me."

"No I want to go home, "he said. "I can tell you on the way."

"Jack?"

"He's fine."

She felt tears of relief prick at her eyes in spite of the joy.

"Asgard?"

"Also fine."

"Both vehicles are here," she cautioned.

"Pick one, I don't care," he said. He was all but bouncing on his heels with exuberance, "We can leave the Jeep here. It will be safe."

"Okay. Let me get my stuff," she was still looking at him as if she was worried he'd suffered a head injury or was drugged or something.

He grinned back at her and she couldn't stop from smiling back again. He was radiating happiness at the moment. He swept her into another hug and then said, "Okay, go but be quick."

(0)

It was a cold night, with autumn getting ready to slip into winter and Thanksgiving right around the corner. Over the last few months Jillian had designed and worked with contractors to create a sun room in the former patio below the deck. It hadn't been a space either of them used very much and she turned it into a room they now sought in the evenings when they were home.

It didn't hurt, Daniel decided, that she had designed it as a desert oasis. There was a fireplace in the middle of the long wall, the first thing anyone saw entering the room, made of something like adobe with a natural wood mantle. The long glass windows were separated by curtains that looked like tent fabric, which were currently pulled back to reveal the shadows on their lawn getting longer and the sky filling with sunset shades. The concrete floor had been stained a rich, sandy color and was covered in scattered reed mats. The colors were soft desert shades of tan and gold and orange and green, with splashes of yellow and the occasional blue. She had moved all his potted palms and other desert plants down here and to Daniel they seemed a little happier.

He started a fire, sank into a wooden lounge chair covered in comfortable red cushions and sighed a little. Jillian was pouring a sparkling white wine from England into two wine glasses. She put it back in the ice bucket on the table between the chairs and handed one glass to him before sitting down. Daniel swirled it for a moment and then swallowed a little.

Okay, that was actually pretty good. He knew she chafed about how much her education had emphasized domestic issues. But she knew how to pick a perfect wine and grow roses and decorate rooms. He would have randomly moved everything into the house, never changed a thing and probably lived comfortably.

Jillian had made the house into a home and made him happy to be there in ways he hadn't even realized were missing. Maybe it wasn't her education. Maybe it was just who she was, but he loved it. She'd made a room he could have slipped into desert robes and been right at home in. She'd gotten rid of the awful paint. She'd even started the process of getting the garage built. The paperwork for the permits was on his desk. He decided it could wait another day.

He sipped the wine and stretched his legs out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He gave her sidelong look of deep appreciation. She had changed into a pair of stretch jeans and a hot pink cable-knit turtle neck sweater. The sweater seemed to have no real shape of its own and simply clung to hers.

He'd changed into a cotton turtle neck, chinos and the oatmeal colored sweater he knew she loved. It was one of the things still in his dresser drawers. One of the few things she had unpacked. He suspected she had worn it a few times during his Ascension.

Her voice was very soft.

"We don't have to talk if you don't want to. You look pretty content."

"No, I won't sleep if I don't tell you everything, not even with a couple of glasses of this," he lifted the wine glass slightly. "This is excellent, Jill."

She smiled at him. He'd taken his glasses off and somehow managed to look more boyish and more rugged all at the same time.

"I am kind of curious what caused all the joy, besides Jack being restored to us of course."

"Well there is one kind of bleak series of incidents in this. Sam went through hell."

"You don't have to tell me about that," she said, "Sam will tell me if she wants."

"Sam is going to have to report this at the debriefing and then write it in an official report. She's not going to want to rehash it again, at least not for a long long time. She said I could tell you. I think it would be a relief to her that you know. Of course I only know what she told me."

Jillian stared across at the fire for a little bit, balancing her wine glass in her palm and moving her fingers up and down the stem. Whatever Daniel had been told it was weighing on him.

"Is she going to be okay?" she asked finally.

"Yeah," Daniel said, absently and then he told her in with gradually increasing speed but no excitement what Sam had told him Fifth had inflicted on her.

When he was finished he drank the rest of his wine, refilled the glass and then sat back and regarded her, watching for her reaction.

"Fifth got into Sam's head and created a farm with cows and pigs and thought she would want to stay there with him forever?" she summarized.

"Yes," Daniel verified, still looking grim.

"Wow," Jillian breathed, "She's amazing. I mean you're amazing but the two of you just take my breath away sometimes."

"Why?" Daniel asked, puzzled.

"Daniel, think for a moment," she said, "Sam on a farm? In the middle of nothing and nowhere? With cows and pigs? I'm thinking she's out of her mind with boredom by day three, packing up Toto, leaving Auntie Em an evil note and running away."

He laughed a little, swirled the wine around in his glass again and said, "Well, yeah, but how does that make her amazing?"

"Because Fifth was in her _head_ and this is what she made him believe she wanted more than anything, so she'd know if he was trying to trick her with illusions. That kind of mental control under those circumstances? That isn't something she could have learned with any kind of military training. That's just Sam digging down deep and keeping an enemy from knowing what is really in her head. Daniel, I'm not sure where this thing with Pete is going but I _know_ she doesn't want to live on a farm with him forever and ever. "

"No, I'm pretty sure that's not what she wants," Daniel mused.

He was staring into the fire and there was an undercurrent to his words that Jillian caught immediately.

"What does she want, do you think?" she asked quietly.

"Things she doesn't think she can have, "Daniel answered. He put his wine glass down and leaned forward, clasping his hands in front of him and turning towards her a little bit, "I talked to her about Jack, about her and Jack."

Jillian inhaled sharply. "_Shén me niǎo_," she said, "Hadn't she been through enough?"

"Yeah," Daniel drew the word out long and full of regret, "But I didn't think about what you just said – that it was probably just a smoke screen to put Fifth off the scent of what she really wants. I had just finished listening to her tell me about this fantasy of living an idyllic existence with Pete. I was beyond frustrated with her even though I was so – _so_ – relieved to have her back safely. So I confronted her about her feelings for Jack."

Jillian regarded him with some concern. "And she's still speaking to you?"

"Yes," a smile pulled the corners of his mouth.

"Did you make any progress?"

"We came to an understanding."

"And that is?"

"I mind my own business?"

"And this thing with Pete?"

Daniel shrugged. "We support it until it falls apart."

"And if it doesn't?"

"It will."

He sounded certain and looked a little grim. Then he sat back again and spoke slowly. "I need to tell you something she and I did. But I also need to swear you to secrecy."

"For you and Sam," she shrugged, "Of course."

He lowered his chin and looked up from under his lashes. It was his intense look, one he had on speed dial.

"It's serious, Jill."

"All right," she acknowledged.

He leaned forward again and began to tell her.

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	129. Chapter 129

"Daniel," Jillian whispered in a frozen voice, "You did _what_?"

"Thor created Loki's methods. There's a fifteen year old Sam in an Asgard ship still in orbit. Sam's going to talk to Agent Barrett about getting her ID through the Witness Protection Program."

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you could be in?"

"We have to get caught first," he said, in a tone that sounded smug and off hand but a little forced.

"Daniel!" she said, exasperated.

"It's Jack," Daniel cut her off abruptly. "None of us wanted him out there alone anymore, not even Thor; and Thor wasn't really in the mood to say no to anything we wanted. You know how they feel about Jack. Apparently they're already building another _O'Neill."_

That made her smile a little. He had already told her in the truck on the way home about _The Daniel Jackson_ and how Jack had been revived and the weapon he had created. It was little wonder to her that the Asgard had been willing to do something as simple for them as creating a clone, especially if Sam had been willing.

"It's felt like we left him behind, Jill," Daniel said," the clone, and leaving Jack behind in Antarctica brought it all back."

"Why just Sam?" she asked, "Why not the team?"

Daniel reached across and wrapped his hand over hers, though she didn't give it to him willingly.

"Because I can't live without you, not even as Daniel 2.0," he said, "and Jack would never ask me to. He lectures me all the time about remembering that I'm part of a team, even now, but that's not always part of my nature. That would leave Teal'c and having a Jaffa out there would be a little complicated. Besides, it this works out with Jack and Sam the way we think it will, then one of us just becomes an unnecessary third wheel. That leaves _me_ without you."

Jillian was still gazing at him in horror and frustration and blind, passionate love. Finally she sighed and shook her head slowly.

"I still think the two of you were crazy to take that kind of risk, but I understand why you did it. This way they can be together without any of the things that are keeping them apart."

"Yes," Daniel said, grateful for her support. "I couldn't have kept this from you, not forever; and I don't think Sam could either. "Then he took a very deep breath, "That wasn't all I asked the Asgard for, though."

"You did something _else? _Something _worse?"_ She sat up straighter.

"No! Not worse. Different, and cloning Sam wasn't actually _bad_ so it's hard to characterize this as worse somehow…."

"Daniel!" Jillian sank back again and let her hands fall into her lap.

Daniel slipped out of his chair and knelt in front of her, sheltering her hands under his and pressing hard.

"It's a Christmas gift," then he smiled in a way that was so blissful and so full of hope and fear that she was instantly transfixed by it. She'd only seen Daniel get that look on his face when he'd uncovered something extremely rare and delicate. "Actually, it's kind of big enough to be Christmas and Valentine's Day and your birthday and a wedding gift."

"Are you just trying to get out of shopping for me for the next six months, Jackson?" she asked, softly, studying his face to see if she could decipher what was going on behind his eyes.

"No," he smiled and took another deep breath, as if he was about to say something he'd been rehearsing. "I asked Thor if the Asgard could combine my DNA with yours to create an embryo that you could carry to term – if you wanted – and eliminate whatever pieces were responsible for the genetic cancer, so that we can have a child together. He said that he would prefer Heimdall to be involved with something like that and it will take a while for Heimdall to be available to us, probably a half a year or a little more, but that yes, as far as he knew it was something they could do and easily."

He saw the color drain slowly from her face and he could feel her hands shaking inside of his. Her eyes had gone wide and shocked and her lips parted in a soundless cry.

"Daniel," she managed to choke finally.

She pulled her hands out from under his and reached for her wine glass. She was shaking so badly she needed two hands to get it to her mouth and the liquid trembled in the dim light of sunset. The glass rattled against her teeth before she got it steady enough to take a swallow.

When she tried to put it down he took it from her because it looked on the verge of spilling everywhere.

"Can we do this?" He'd never heard her voice sound so faint, still struggling to understand. "Is it even fair?"

"Fair?" Daniel repeated.

He got up, rising to his feet so suddenly it shocked her. Jillian watched him with her eyes even wider, certain he was now angry.

"Fair?" he said, again, "How many times have I died for this program? For this planet? How many times have we both put our lives on the line, for days at a time? How many time have you cried over me? How many months did you spend mourning me? I've never really asked for anything for all of that, Jillian. It's been enough that I have my…my friends, a place to _belong._ But if the only thing I really ever ask in return for the last seven years is two healthy children with the woman I love, then that's what I want! We can give back certainly, give a sample of all our DNA to the scientists at Area 51 to see if that can help them determine where the cancer link is. But I _want_ this, Jillian, as long as it's what you want too."

"Oh course it's what I want!" she said, quickly, "But Daniel, oh my god this is just too much to take in." She paused, still pale and shaking. She folded over in half and put her head on her knees, "I think I'm going to pass out."

He was kneeling beside her in an instant. One hand stroked her hair and her neck and her shoulders. He could feel her heart pounding painfully fast.

"I didn't really know any other way to tell you," he said, "It's not something you can lead up to." He hesitated and then asked uncertainly, "You said it's something you want?"

She nodded without sitting up. In a muffled voice she said, "Yes."

"All of it?" he asked, "It's your body. That part I won't push. Thor said the Asgard could grow an embryo to any stage we wanted but I'd kind of rather not wind up with a five year old right at the start….."

"_Oh my god_," she whispered again. "Daniel, _stop_ for a moment, please."

He let her breathe slowly for a long time and gradually he was aware of her heart rate slowing to normal. She lifted her head to look at him finally, though she stayed bent over.

"I ….I…." she paused and inhaled again, "You're telling me that I can actually have this child? Myself? They can do that for us?"

"Yes," Daniel said, gently. "Umm, you can have both of them, actually, if that's what you want."

Shock settled again. "B-both?"

"I kind of asked for a boy and girl. I'm not sure they really understood that, being sort of gender neutral themselves though I always kind of wondered about Heimdall a little but they knew it was important to me…." He broke off abruptly as Jillian groaned and collapsed again. This time he thought maybe she really had fainted.

He caught the limp weight of her body in his arms and held her against his chest.

Evening was quickly losing the light. There were solar up lights all along the bottom of the windows that were gradually coming on to bathe the sunroom in soft light. The fire needed tending but Daniel ignored it.

Gradually her hands moved, coming up to grip his arms tightly. She drew a long shaky breath.

"Am I off the hook for Christmas?" he asked.

This time when she looked up her eyes were sheened with tears.

"You don't have to get me anything again – _ever_." Her arms went around his neck. He was a little worried by how hard she was still shaking. "No wonder you came back so happy."

He smiled. "So now you know what all the joy was," he said, gently. He brushed her hair back over her ear. "Are you okay?"

"Besides feeling like I'm dreaming?" she asked. Then, scared, "I'm not am I?"

"No, it's very real," he said.

"No, it's very unreal," she whispered. She leaned forward to hug him tightly for a moment. "How is this possible? How are _you_ possible?"

"Me?" he repeated, mystified.

"You've given me everything I ever wanted. I don't understand how someone as incredible as you can even exist."

"Don't lay all that on me, Jillian. I've also put you through Hell and I owe you more than I'll ever be able to give you…."

"Stop!" She put her hand on his cheek and brushed her thumb along his cheekbone. "Let's not make this about trying to find some kind of redemption or penance. Let's just see the joy in it? Please? Four years ago when I first talked to you about this, you said you had never really thought about becoming a father. Now we're talking about it again and you sound really anxious, even eager."

"Jill, if I didn't want this we'd be having a whole different conversation. I love you, but I wouldn't bring two more human beings into our lives if I wasn't sure it was something we both want."

She held him tight again. "God I love you so much," she murmured.

"I love you too," he answered.

To his surprise she moved forward and stood up. Extending her hand she said,

"Let's go upstairs."

Daniel got up, closed the screen over the dying fire and followed her to their bedroom. Once there he made slow, tender love to the woman who had invited him to make love to her. He spent a long time touching and lingering and letting her touch him in any way that she wanted. He joined them together just as slowly and lay over her, holding her, in spite of his body clamoring for more and urgency and _more, now._

He rocked gently and she tumbled over almost instantly, clinging to him in silence except for the stunned gasps of her breathing. He cradled her and murmured to her and kept rocking in the same motion until he had to stop speaking and allow himself to be lost. Jillian's climax was like the earth moving, opening, swallowing him. His own was like a molten surge released within it, filling in all the empty places.

He held her for a long time afterwards in the quiet dark.

They weren't ever going to be able to conceive their children in the usual manner. But Daniel and Jillian would always both agree, their children were both created that night – in love and commitment and in total, inexplicable joy.

(0)


	130. Chapter 130

**This chapter will end the Lost City/New Order story arc. It was inspired by the Sanctuary episode in which Amanda Tapping sings and all the Saturdays my (grown up) kids have dragged me to karaoke night.**

**(0)**

Daniel appeared in the doorway of the science lab and entered with all the subtlety of a dust devil. He walked straight to the table across from Sam, leaned over, resting on his elbows, clasped his hands in front of him and said,

"So how you doing with all this?"

"All what?" Sam asked, but she wasn't doing a good job at all of hiding the fact that she knew exactly what he was talking about.

Daniel gave her a penetrating look that said clearly he wasn't going to let her get away with it.

"Jack taking command, you getting SG1…."

"Why wouldn't I be doing just fine with it?" Sam asked, "It's what I said was going to happen. It's what I've been working for all my adult life." She leaned towards him. "I pretty much have everything I want right now, don't I?"

"Do you?" he shot back.

"Daniel." It was short, flat, filled with impatience.

"What about Jack?" he asked.

Sam flashed him a look that should have burned him to ash on the spot.

"Here? Really?"

"The cameras don't have sound. We're just chatting. What about being with Jack?"

"I _am_ with Jack, in a way."

"As sophomores at Mountain Springs High School in Denver!" Daniel protested.

"SHHHH!" Sam hissed. "You're going to give me a heart attack."

"Sam," Daniel said, "I know that you're more of a hard scientist than I am. I know you deal more in what's real and factual and can be proven and all this might seem logical to you, but is this really something you can quantify? It's not like you can run a simulation of how this might work out."

"Daniel…."

"I just want to make sure you're okay, Sam," he said quickly, "We've been in 'no way out' situations that we got out of hundreds of times. I just want to make sure that's not how you're treating this."

"This?" She said, "And I swear to god Daniel if you say Pete, I'll throttle you."

Daniel clamped his mouth shut abruptly and she glared at him. It took her a moment to assess the situation. Daniel was starting to sound a little too much like her brother, who had never supported anything she wanted to do and he had _never _been that kind of brother-figure to her before.

But temper never helped and Daniel wasn't coming from wanting control over her. Daniel did everything from a basis of love. They were part of a team and Daniel had always been the one who helped them get their feelings and thoughts and ideas into the open – picking at Jack until he defused with sarcasm, challenging Teal'c into smiles and soft looks that had been foreign to him seven years ago and giving her the courage to voice her opinions and ideas in spite of her military training.

And Daniel was right in a way. She was working from a checklist, the way she always did. She was assessing risks and probabilities, extrapolating about what would come next from what had come before. Simple calculations, projections of vectors, the beauty of math and science that had been her life since her mother's death had sent her in a frantic search for carefully ordered rules.

Her career had recently taught her how wrong the laws of physics could actually be and how much time she'd spent on them. Maybe she just wanted to free fall for a while.

"I thought we agreed you were going to let me make my own choices and do things the way I want?" she asked, finally.

"I don't remember signing anything," he said, with an innocent smile that only made her want to throttle him more.

"I'll get you a pen," she kept from snapping it by the skin of her teeth. An old reflex made her take a long, deep, cleansing breathe.

She leveled an expression at him that she hoped said _I really love you Daniel but knock it off. Now._

He got the message. The man was not an idiot afterall.

"So, you coming tonight?" he asked.

"To O'Malley's?"

"Yes."

Sam shrugged. "It's first Thursday, so yeah, why wouldn't I? The place is going to be packed though. It sounds like everyone is going to be there."

Daniel nodded. "Everyone wants to get out from under the mountain and celebrate the victory over Anubis."

"You going to be there?"

"For a little while, yes. Jill wants to go."

"You used to hate these things, Daniel," Sam pointed out, "Too much noise, too much military."

It was his turn to shrug and even to grin in a kind of silly way. "People change."

"Yes," Sam said, pointedly, "We do."

(0)

O'Malley's on Friday and Saturday night was always packed. Sunday through Wednesday it was mostly a family crowd. Thursdays had always notably been the quietest day of the week.

Until the SGC personnel had discovered the emptiness of Thursday night and begun the tradition of 'First Thursday'. Now on the first Thursday of every month O'Malley's was packed, so full of people they had to open the banquet rooms. Karoake started early and last until the place closed. The pool tables were never emptied and the kitchen often ran out of food.

In the beginning, in the waning days of that first year when this tradition had started, Daniel had been very uncomfortable. Teal'c had managed to avoid even going for years and Daniel had always had an excuse ready so that he could duck out after an hour and half a bottle of beer.

At first it had just been odd to see them all outside of the gray walls and military protocol, to see them in jeans and regular shoes and laughing and ripping each other in ways that were sometimes ribald and sometimes rode the edge of downright dirty.

Daniel had never been part of a group, not even on dig sites. He'd had no idea how to process the experience except from the outlook of the anthropologist, which had made him feel even more separate. It was more than seeing them out of uniform and trying to remember their names without the convenient labels. It was seeing them with their normal lives and regular personalities, without military constraint.

As if military hadn't been enough of a barrier in the beginning, as if 'civilian' wasn't often uttered as a something contemptible, Daniel had been forced to witness the body language of camaraderie and a bond of closeness, even of a kind of intimacy that he had never had. There had always been a sense of wrongness that left him feeling even more like a transplant from another world.

It had taken him years to get over it and finally begin to feel welcome and a part of the group as a whole. It had taken more than a year for someone to greet him by name and offer him a drink or challenge him to pool. Now he didn't mind arriving a little early, even if Jack wasn't there ahead of him, standing at the bar telling war stories surrounded by a group of guys well into their second pitcher of beer. He'd envied Jack his swagger, his easy sense of belonging.

The change in his attitude might have started with having Jillian arriving early with him. They'd grab the large horseshoe booth in the middle of the wall facing the bar, where they could see the game on the big screen to the right and the karaoke stage to the left and all the members of SG1 and Sg8 could share as long as they didn't all try to do it at the same time, or Annie didn't mind sitting on Scotty's lap in the chair pulled up to the open end of the table. Jack, when he sat with them, always took the end place facing the door and whoever might already be there had better move.

Now it felt kind of right to Daniel to be there with people whose faces he did recognize and with Jillian leaned up against him while she nursed whatever drink it was she wanted to try that month and now he knew he liked the taste of beer out of a pitcher more than out of a bottle.

There was a slightly different feeling on this particular First Thursday. The defeat of Anubis and the word of what had happened with the Replicators had created a party atmosphere unlike the simple stress-relieving raucousness usually associated with the get-togethers. But no one was quite sure that Jack would come. It wouldn't just be Colonel O'Neill. It would be _General _O'Neill and there might now be a line of demarcation that he could no longer cross.

The evening was already later than it usually got without Jack putting in an appearance and Daniel had already exchanged a few short conversational glances with Teal'c and resisted sending inquiring texts to Jack's cell that he would probably just ignore anyway.

Then Jack sauntered in as if he did it all the time, scanned the room automatically even though he knew all the exits. When his gaze finally landed on their regular table Daniel held up the empty pitcher of beer and gestured towards the bar. O'Neill nodded and worked his way through the crowd of grinning, welcoming SGC personnel until he was at the bar and standing next to Gerald Mallory. He leaned over as Mal said something to him, laughed and the Mal blew a long whistle over the noise of the crowd until everyone shut up for a moment.

Daniel expected some weird military protocol, something like "Officer on Deck" but that's not what Mal yelled next.

"What do you call the last man standing at the bar?" he hollered in a voice that would have been audible over a barrage of weapons fire.

With one voice the occupants of the bar shouted back, "O'NEILL!" followed by a host of raised glasses and hearty cheers.

It was clear from Jack's expression that he was laughing. Daniel laughed a little too and exchanged another look with Teal'c. There was something about Jack.

Holding a pitcher of beer in each hand, Jack made his way back through the crowd until he got to the table. Scotty stood up in true military fashion but Jack waved him back into his chair. One of their servers arrived at about the same time to clear away the empty baskets of fries and bring them all clean glasses. Daniel indicated the tall brown bottle the girls had been drinking all night and got a smile and a nod of understanding.

The noise had reached the loud party level again but they'd all gotten used to it after all these years of First Thursdays. A group made up largely of SG13 and 17 took the Karaoke stage and started singing New York New York.

"Where are the girls?" Jack yelled.

Daniel wondered if you could really call a decorated Air Force Colonel and two women with doctorates 'the girls' but since they never seemed to mind he let it go. They got to have the big booth and spend time with a blond, a brunette and a redhead. It wasn't a bad way to pass the time.

"They went en masse to the ladies room about 10 minutes ago," he answered.

"They have a tendency to travel as a unit for such purposes," Teal'c observed.

"You might want them to stay in there for a while," Daniel said.

Jack had poured three glasses of beer and slid one each across the table to Daniel and Scotty.

"Why's that?" he asked, diving in to his glass with enthusiasm.

"They each ordered a drink when they first got here and since then they've been doing straight shots of that," Daniel answered, with a nod at the big brown bottle, "and singing karaoke."

Jack snagged it in one big hand and read out loud, "Tequila Rose?"

"It tastes like a strawberry milk shake and that's the second bottle of it they've finished tonight," Daniel said.

Both Jack's eyebrows went up. "What were they drinking before that?"

"Jillian had a…." Daniel got that look on his face that meant he was searching his memory bank. Teal'c helped, "Strawberry Rose Margarita."

Daniel repeated it a half a syllable late and then said, "Annie had a …." He and Scotty spoke at the same time, "Checkered Flag and Sam ordered something that I won't repeat but I dared her to order in front of you."

"What have they been singing after all that?"

Daniel glanced at Teal'c again and they began listing songs all at the same time.

"Girls just wanna have fun –"

"Dancing Queen –"

"Danger Zone-" and even Jack groaned.

"Jillian and Annie did Take My Breath Away though Sam refused to participate – "

At that point the girls joined them in a kind of overwhelming onslaught of tight jeans and clingy sweaters, soft tousled hair and bright smiles. Jillian collapsed into the booth next to Daniel. Annie nudged her way onto Scotty's lap. Jack got up to let Sam slip in between him and Teal'c. Sam reached for the Tequila Rose and poured three shots.

"What wouldn't I participate in?" she asked.

"That song from Top Gun!" Daniel answered.

Sam groaned, tipped her head back and drained the shot. "Do we have to do that _every_ First Thursday? I keep hoping we'll get through one of these without someone yelling 'take me to bed or lose me forever'."

Jillian and Annie grinned, shoved their shot glasses back at Sam and Jillian said, "You know we only do it to bug you, right?"

"You succeed!" Sam said, raising her shot glass in a salute.

Jack had his head turned completely around so that he could see Sam.

"Where's Pete?" he asked.

"Stakeout," she answered.

"Oh. Too bad," Jack said, though he didn't sound anything but utterly neutral.

The group on the stage abandoned it after torturing Total Eclipse of the Heart. Annie jumped to her feet, pulling on Scotty's hands.

"Come on," she said, "Sam, Jillian, come on. We've got to get this place dancing."

Jack barely got out of Sam's way and Daniel let go of Jillian's gentle weight against him very reluctantly.

"Jillian!" he said, sharply. She turned and looked at him. "You promised."

She leaned over and kissed him sweetly. "I promised," she said and then took of through the crowd after Annie and Sam.

"What'd you make her promise?" Jack asked, refilling his beer.

Daniel glared at him and Teal'c answered. "She is forbidden from singing anything with his name in it."

"You're no fun," Jack said.

"So I've been told," Daniel agreed, putting his hand on the top of his glass so Jack wouldn't top it off.

Then Scotty was belting out Joy to the World with the girls backing him up and a crowd moved out onto the dance floor and started singing along.

Two more songs and they surrendered the stage to another group and came back to the table. The guys had ordered chili fries and Daniel had gotten Jillian and Sam diet cokes. Jack had started doing the rounds of the various groups and was currently watching a competitive game of pool.

"You should come sing with us, Dr. Jackson," Annie said.

"Daniel," he corrected, "and umm, no."

"Dr. Jackson has perfect pitch and a gorgeous voice but he doesn't sing in public," Jillian teased.

They talked and laughed and Sam got up after a while and went to play pool. Mallory and Rusty came to join them and started swapping stories that even Teal'c found funny.

The new group on the stage started singing My Girl.

"Dr. Jackson might not sing but he dances," Jillian said, dragging Daniel out of the booth and onto the floor with Scotty and Annie close behind them.

They danced through two more songs, getting lost in the music and letting the noise fade away for a little bit and then they became aware of Sam singing again.

It was Patsy Cline's Crazy and she was swaying while she sang and had her eyes closed.

_Crazy, I'm crazy for feeling so lonely _

_I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so blue _

_I knew you'd love me as long as you wanted _

_And then someday you'd leave me for somebody new_

"She really does have a dozen talents we don't ever get to enjoy doesn't she?" Daniel noted.

"She does," Jillian answered.

Daniel stopped doing more than rocking back and forth with Jillian so that he could watch Sam. He was still more than a little anxious about the way she was behaving and he didn't mean just this evening.

He listened to her lovely voice rise into a lilting, emotion filled crescendo.

_Worry, why do I let myself worry? _

_Wond'ring what in the world did I do? _

_Crazy for thinking that my love could hold you _

_I'm crazy for trying and crazy for crying _

_And I'm crazy for loving you_

Daniel hoped that he was the only one in the noisy, overcrowded bar who noticed that she was looking straight at Jack O'Neill when she finished.

They all went back to the table after that, ordered more food and more beer and the girls finally finished the Tequila Rose. At that point Jillian stood up and pulled on Daniel.

"Let's go home," she said.

"I thought we were going to wait and let Teal'c drive us?" Daniel asked.

"That's the same glass of beer you started with hours ago," she said, outing him, "You're fine. Come on." She paused and shot a mischievous look at Sam, "Come on, Jackson, you big stud. Take me home or lose me forever."

The entire table groaned and Sam flung a paper napkin at Jillian that missed and went in Scotty's beer, which everyone seemed to think was hilarious.

Daniel dragged himself out of the booth, where he had actually gotten quite comfortable.

"Show me the way home, honey," he said.

Sam tossed her head back and pleaded with the ceiling in mock anguish, "Oh _god_, someone make them stop."

(0)


	131. Chapter 131

**Tag for Lockdown. Begins after Daniel is shot in the Gate Room.**

She was remembering all over again why she hated the Isolation Room, especially when Daniel was the one in it. She avoided going there as long as possible since she knew someone would come get her when he woke up.

She spoke briefly to Jack and Dr. Brightman in the hall outside the room. No, she hadn't seen Daniel after he had Col. Vaselov. She had been heading for the Gate Room to see if everything was all right because he had failed to find her to say good-bye, which they _always_ did before either of them left to go anywhere. Even if he couldn't take the time to find her personally she'd get a text from him, or a phone call or something. This time he'd simply gotten ready to go and gone to the Gate Room without a word to her.

She'd been at the end of the hall, almost to the stairs going up to the Control Room when she heard the shots being fired.

The sound was still echoing with the dull beat of her heart.

Sam and Teal'c were still sitting vigil in the observation room. Sam gave her a sympathetic, welcoming smile.

"Did you talk to Brightman?" Sam asked.

"Yes," Jillian answered. It was the first crisis with Daniel that Jillian was facing without Janet. It made her feel even more adrift. She sat down heavily in the chair that Teal'c pulled out for her.

Not a moment later Scotty and Rusty appeared in the doorway and then gathered behind her, looking down anxiously at Daniel through the safety glass.

"We just heard," Rusty said, blue eyes bright with concern, "Are you all right?"

Jillian shook her head, though the smile she gave them was sincerely affectionate. "No."

No one who wasn't on an SG team could ever imagine what it was like. Those three men had become her father-uncle-and-brother in all but name out there. They'd laughed together, cried together, risked their lives for each other. She'd told them things she never usually shared.

"What about him?" Rusty asked.

"We won't know until he wakes up," Sam said.

Scotty put his hands on Jillian's shoulders and squeezed.

"General O'Neill has scrubbed all the off world missions but I guess you know that?" Scotty asked.

Jillian nodded. "And we're on lockdown, which means you're all stuck here."

"Not Mal," Rusty said, "I called him. He was just about to exit the highway but he turned around and went home. He said to call if you need _anything."_

"I will," she said.

There would be the usual things – she had to call the cleaning service and ask them to come in twice a week. The mail had to be stopped. God alone knew what they had left in the fridge but she could probably get Mal and his wife Liz to check on that….

Jillian sighed deeply and felt Scotty give her shoulders another squeeze.

"Annie's still out there too," he said, softly.

Jillian turned to look up at him. Scotty had no idea at the moment when he would see Annie again. Jillian might have no idea what was going on with Daniel but at least he was right there in front of her. All she had to do was wait for him to wake up.

She just hoped it was _Daniel_ when that finally happened.

(0)

Jillian was content for the moment to help Sam in the science lab. She'd done it before when Daniel hadn't been available for a translation that might help decipher an odd bit of technology. Since this chunk from PX9-2902 had been on the Base for almost a year, Jillian suspected this was an attempt by Sam to keep Jillian's mind off Daniel. He was awake, talking, obviously still Daniel, and being held for observation until Dr. Brightman was certain he all right.

They were also under strict orders to travel in pairs.

They were standing on either side of the lab table, heads bent neither together as Sam tried to figure out what the chunk did and Jillian tried to figure out what the chopped up and charred text said.

"Sam," she said, after a little while, "Umm, tell me to back off if you want but Daniel told me he talked to you about…."

"Yeah, he did," Sam cut her off. She cast a meaningful look at the security camera.

"Oh, please," Jillian said, "There's no way this place is bugged for sound, not as anal retentive as Jack is. Besides, you know we aren't worried about Kinsey anymore."

"Just because he finally resigned from the government doesn't mean he isn't still a threat."

Jillian speared Sam with a look that clearly said she wasn't in the mood for bull.

"Don't even try to make me believe that Jack hasn't spent the last six years gathering Intel to use against Kinsey. I'm pretty sure Kinsey has been looking down the barrel of Jack's gun ever since we got Jack back from the Ancients."

Sam clamped her mouth shut tightly on any reply at all. She'd had her own suspicions about that for some time now.

"If you know Daniel talked to me then you know I asked him to let me make my own decisions," she said, finally.

"I know," Jillian agreed, "I just wanted to tell you that if you want to talk to me while making those decisions then you can do that. I won't do anything but listen. I just hate to think you'd feel like I wasn't available for some reason."

Sam blinked, as if that wasn't what she had been expecting Jillian to say at all.

"Okay," she said, then hesitantly, "Thank you."

"I know you still miss Janet," Jillian said, gently, "It was kind of weird. It was like you talked to Janet and I talked to you, but Janet and I never really talked; not about the things that were important."

"I guess we both thought that you always talk to Daniel," Sam said.

"I do," Jillian acknowledged, "about everything. But I talk to you too and I guess I just want you to know that I'm willing to listen."

Sam tinkered with the chunk of metal for a while and then said,

"See, that's kind of it."

"What is?

"You just said you tell Daniel _everything_. I can't imagine telling Jack everything. Ever. Maybe it's just been too many years of not telling each other _anything_. I mean, how do you change that?"

"I guess it depends on whether that's something you feel is important to a relationship," Jillian answered, "I know I never really thought about it. I was hopelessly crushing on Daniel for years, Sam. I didn't give a relationship with him much more time than a few minutes a day of fantasy. What we have has evolved over a long period of time and …..and some serious testing that I would do a whole lot to keep you from ever having to experience."

Sam seemed to consider that while she multitasked with the artifact.

"What if it doesn't work out?"

Jillian's eyebrows lifted. "You mean you and Jack?"

"Yes. Look how much we'd both have to give up on a risk like that. What if I found out that I really couldn't live with his moods or with the sports channels playing all the time? What if the sarcasm and attitude are great stress relievers here and off world but I just can't stand it at home? What if he _wants_ me but he doesn't really want _me?_ What if I feel the same way about him? We have to give up nearly everything before we could even get started finding out, Jillian; and it could all just blow up in our faces and leaves us with nothing."

Jillian studied Sam for a few minutes and then went to the bottom filing cabinet drawer and came back with two Ghirardelli squares. She gave one to Sam and they exalted in chocolate for a moment.

"You've thought about this," Jillian stated.

"I have, and I've decided it's just not worth the risk," Sam said, "I don't know Jack the _man._ All I know is Jack the team leader, the Colonel, the General. All I know is what he lets us see while still keeping the professional distance. Look what happens when he walks into O'Malley's on First Thursdays. They go nuts. They all adore him. I'm just one more of his subordinates who adores him. It's what happens to anyone who comes into his circle of influence. A mostly suppressed, mostly unspoken longing isn't the same thing as a love we can build a life on. It's not like what you have with Daniel. It has rules and boundaries and limitations that make it impossible to explore in any way that's safe."

Daniel's voice from the doorway startled both of them; and really, two off world experienced SG personnel shouldn't let anything sneak up on them like that.

"What's not safe to explore?"

"Nothing," Sam said quickly as the same time Jillian sat up straight and said,

"Should you be up? When did you get released?"

The annoyance that crossed his face was unmistakable. His jaw set and his eyes narrowed.

"It's my arm!" he said.

It didn't have the effect Daniel thought it would. Jillian lost most of the color in her face, bit down on her lower lip and stared hard at the table. Sam looked anxiously at Jillian.

"What?" Daniel wasn't an idiot and he was pretty well tuned in on Jillian and her expressions. This one wasn't hard to miss. She was upset. He didn't move from his place by the door, as if he was afraid that stirring the air would disrupt the fragile balance of emotions in the room. "What did I say now?" he asked finally.

Jillian looked up at him and Sam watched their relationship play out in front of her.

"There was so much blood, Daniel," she said, in a voice of haunted misery, "All over the floor and all of it yours. I know Jack was deliberately aiming for a shot that wouldn't be fatal – and if someone had to shoot at you and it couldn't be Sam I would want it to be Jack – but from what I understand you were still moving and…and it severed your brachial artery. By the time I got to the Gate Room Teal'c had his shirt wrapped around it and was trying to stop the bleeding with his bare hands. I took my belt off and we got it around your upper arm like a tourniquet. Teal'c pulled it so tight I thought it was going to go right through your arm and then the emergency medics were there and Teal'c ran beside the stretcher all the way to the infirmary keeping hold of my belt. I followed after I checked on the two other men who were down and there was a team already trying to clean up the blood on the floor but….there was just so….so…much…."

Her voice crawled off slowly at the memory.

Daniel finally moved and fast. She met him halfway and was in his arms – well arm – before Sam knew either of them had moved.

"I'm sorry," Daniel said.

"It wasn't your fault," Jillian answered.

Daniel leaned back enough to be able to look at her. "It never seems to be, does it?" he asked, "It doesn't mean it wasn't hard on you. I'm sorry you had to go through that, _libeling_."

"As long as you're really all right," she said.

Sam couldn't help but watch. Daniel's face was radiating love the way the sun radiated light. Sam got the feeling that Daniel could find himself stranded on another world without coffee, without books, without ruins and as long as he had Jillian he would still look like that – content, fulfilled, incandescently happy.

Who did she have, that she would give up everything and everyone for and still have that kind of happiness? Her mind skittered sideways from the answer.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, with that small smile that meant _fine now though I might have just pulled a knife out of my heart. _"What are you working on?"

"Trying to narrow down a text to even begin a translation," Jillian answered.

They moved as one to the table again, leaned over the hunk of metal taking up most of the surface and Sam got a really good look at what happiness looked like: shoulder to shoulder, hands almost touching as they reached for the same portion of the etched script. Daniel's eyes were traveling back and forth quickly, reading the inner scripts stored in his mind as much as the script in front of him.

"What do you think it says?" Sam asked.

Daniel looked up at her from over his glasses. "Made in China?" he suggested.

Sam gave him the _ha ha_ look they had exchanged countless times and they knew didn't mean anything.

"It's not Mandarin, though it looks like it," Jillian said.

"No," Daniel said, "It's Ainu."

"It's what?" Jillian asked.

Daniel paused and then said, hurriedly, "It's a-a-a Japanese dialect, very obscure, found in Northern Japan and mostly on the Hakkaido island and in parts of Russia believe it or not. Until the twentieth century, Ainu languages were also spoken throughout the southern half of the island of Sakhalin and by small numbers of people in the Kuril Islands. All but the Hokkaidō language are extinct, with the last speaker of Sakhalin Ainu having died in the nineties; and Hokkaidō Ainu is moribund, though there are ongoing attempts to revive it. What's interesting here is that there isn't a generally accepted genealogical relationship to any other language family…."

He broke off abruptly, before drifting off into a lengthy and mostly incomprehensible dialogue about the nearly extinct language.

Sam was grinning at him a little. Daniel's mind was truly a fascinating place.

"Can you read it?" Sam asked.

"Not yet," Daniel answered with a little bit of a purr that told her he was relishing the challenge. Then he straightened up, "But it's going to have to wait."

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Remember that plan you and I came up with to divide the Base into three separate sections in the event of an extreme emergency?"

"Yeah," she said, "It's still on my hard drive. You think we need it?"

"Our Chief of Security is currently stuck off Base. I suggested it to Jack. He wants us to present it in an hour."

Sam shot to her feet.

"In an hour! Daniel!"

He grinned at her. "Let's go," he said.

(0)


	132. Chapter 132

"Did you get Sam to remap your keyboard again?" Jillian asked.

She was seated on the bed, cross legged, balancing her laptop on her lap with his open next to her.

"No. Why?"

"Where is your alt key?"

"Is it locked up again?"

"Yes."

"It's probably from so many people on the Base trying to use the Internet at the same time," he guessed, "Here, I'll do it."

Daniel got up from the desk, went to the bed and walked towards her on his knees. He leaned very deliberately across her, letting his heavy body rest against her for a moment. He put his mouth against the back of her neck and whispered kisses while he hit ctrl/alt/delete for her.

"Why do you do that?" she asked, closing the programs that were having issues.

"This?" he asked, kissing with just a hint of tongue added.

"No, change your keyboard." Her head lolled back and a low moan caught in her throat.

"Keeps people from using it without permission."

"Who dares?" Jillian asked, trying to feign shock at the idea. She reached up to thread her fingers through his hair, because his hair was perfect – just long enough to get her fingers in, sexy and soft and always tousled.

"We work with quite a number of geniuses," he murmured while paying very careful attention to her ear. "You'd be surprised what they can get into."

Jillian shivered a little again but he knew her well enough to feel the hesitation. She wanted to respond to his tender advances but she was resisting.

"He's not watching," Daniel said, quietly.

Jillian glanced back at him and then around the room, scanning the ceiling and expecting to see a black and gray amorphous shape hovering in the corner. "Are you sure?"

Daniel laughed softly, his breath tickling her skin. "He's trying to get off the Base, Jill; not trying to get off on everyone on the Base."

"Daniel!" She made an attempt to sound scandalized and failed as she started laughing.

"What?" he demanded, with a grin, "Do you have any idea how many people on this Base are probably engaged in, umm, intimate physical activity? We've been stuck down here for how many days? Five?"

"I prefer not to consider the, umm, intimate physical activities of my coworkers, if you don't mind," but she was grinning back at him.

Daniel shrugged. "I'm an anthropologist and so are you," he said.  
>"It's what people do."<p>

"I thought they were all on the Internet, locking it up,' she pointed out.

"Not all of them," he said in that sexy purr that curled her toes.

She turned around and the notebook slid off her lap. Daniel's eyes were sparkling. She tried to look at him sternly and then started laughing again.

"It's what we do huh?" she asked, tipping her head up and nipping at his lower lip.

"Among other things," he agreed.

"What things?" she asked,

"Nothing," he answered.

Jillian leaned back looked from his laughing blue eyes to the white bandage wrapped around his bicep, peeking out from below the edge of his black shirt sleeve.

"I take it your arm is feeling better?" she said.

"I'm not sure I want to put weight on it but yes," he answered.

"No need for mega-doses of aspirin today?" she asked.

"I wasn't taking that much!" he protested.

"A 'handful' is not a prescribed dose, Daniel," she said, softening her chiding tone with an affectionate stroke across his cheekbone and a gentle kiss.

Daniel leaned in and turned the kiss into something intoxicating and hungry. Sometimes he thought he was always hungry for her, for touching her. He'd thought that was because their lives were still full of long periods of time in which they didn't see each other – an 'absence making the heart fonder' kind of phenomenon.

Now he wasn't sure. He let go of her long enough to put both notebooks on the nightstand. Then he moved her around to where he wanted her, prone, with her head on one of the pillows, hair in sexy disarray. He lay down beside her and propped his elbow to support his head on one hand. His other hand idly traced patterns on her face, her arm and the back of her hand.

"You know, not that I want Anubis to be here or for the Base to be on indefinite lockdown, but there is an upside to this."

Her lovely eyebrows arched up in question. That did startle her. She knew how much Daniel hated Anubis.

"An upside," she prompted.

"Time," he said, softly. "I've spent more uninterrupted time with you over the last five days that I did five years."

He stopped watching the play of light in her hair as it ran through his fingers and looked into her eyes.

"Of course for some of that time I was dead," he admitted.

"We found time together even then," she said, very very softly.

The kiss he pressed against her forehead was filled with apology. The one she pressed chastely against his lips was full of forgiveness.

"So what should we do with all this time?" she asked, rubbing noses with him.

"There's the wording of the treaty with the Idrians," he said, "there's the catalogue of all the stuff from 3892 that's been sitting for two years. Those null syllables in the language from 451…."

"Daniel!" she laughed, for all the time he'd been talking his hand had been everywhere at once, all over her body in quick, light touches, and lingering caresses that were causing her to become supple and pliant and a little hypnotized.

"What?" he asked, with the Wide Blue Eyes of Innocence looking back at her.

"Is that really what you want to do?"

"Well, no," he answered, "what I really want to do," he paused, shifted his body closer, more insistently pressing forward, "is you."

They spent the next hour kissing and slowly undressing, opening each other's clothes but pulling off their own. At some point the bedspread got kicked down out of the way while he was across the room turning off the overhead lights and they wound up under the sheets Jillian had brought from home. The sheets were ultra-soft and Daniel finally understood that there really was a difference between the low thread count and the higher count. He leaned across her to dim the light and she feathered kisses over his chest while he did.

When they finally hugged up tight against each other, warm and naked with all their curves and valleys fitting together, they both let out a kind of gasping moan and their mouths sank into one another again in a long, slow kiss.

"Love you," Daniel murmured, licking and nipping at her mouth.

"Yeah," she exhaled in a long contented sigh.

Jillian touched Daniel in ways that bordered on reverent, sometimes teasing, often awed. Sometimes she leaned back and looked straight into the eyes of the man she had fantasized about for years, the man who had been kind of clueless and polite but always a little lost. But now he was looking back at her and touching her with the same kind of dumbfounded wonder he reserved for truly amazing discoveries. She touched him and couldn't believe that was what she had just done and would have to do it again – running her hands over his chest and shoulders and down the column of his throat, along the muscled length of his thighs and the curve of his rib cage and narrowed waist and hip.

Offering to make love to him while he asked if he could make love to her…..

For all his tender sweetness and determination to wring every bit of time out of this opportunity Jillian knew how aroused Daniel was getting. Each rise of his chest was almost painfully shallow. His pulse was pounding; and Jillian had so far, deliberately, touched him everywhere but _there_.

But then she gave in to her own mounting desires and moved her leg so that her thigh brushed against his erection, moved back and forth, bumped it quite intentionally until he groaned and caught her wrist and urged her hand in a downward motion. He stopped halfway.

Only halfway. No farther. The urging eased at the point just above his navel, no forcing, no pushing, message clear.

If she did this then the long, sweet time of touching was over and things would get serious, quickly.

Jillian's palm was an inch away from the head of his cock. She could feel the heat of it and the pull was like an object with its own magnetism. She already knew the shape and weight and pulse of it by heart.

Soft as an autumn leaf, she let her hand fall.

Long, straight, shockingly hard, glazed and dripping. For a while she just lay there palming him gently, running her thumb over the head. Her breath reflected warm off his neck and jaw. Daniel lay utterly still, barely breathing. He'd slipped an arm under her neck and down her spine. His hand was splayed open against her lower back, holding her in place. His other hand was worshipping her breasts, traveling back and forth between them in ecstasy.

Jillian's free hand was resting on Daniel's chest. Her fingers were making small involuntary movements on his skin.

Her other worked him gently, in all the ways she knew he liked and felt a moment of pure delicious desire when a soft moan escaped and he lifted his hips to match her rhythm.

At that point Jillian couldn't stand it anymore. She let go of him, thrilled to the way his breath hissed through his teeth at being abandoned and tried to wriggle under him.

His hand on her hip held her still.

"Can't," he gasped, "arm…"

There was something incredibly erotic about brilliant, articulate Daniel when he was reduced to single words.

"Mmm," was all she could manage in return.

He urged her onto her back, nuzzling against her neck, arranging a pillow under her head, urging her hips down into the mattress. She yielded, molded the left side of her body into the curve of his and threw her left leg over his hip.

Daniel sucked on the soft skin under her jaw and she lifted her chin to give him better access. They were both hot and hungry now.

Daniel held still for a little bit longer, dropped his head to rest on her collar bone while he struggled for a little bit of control. Her breasts were intensely sensitive when she was this turned on and when Daniel teased one with soft licks, he heard her start whimpering and felt her hand curve around his head, fingers threading his hair. He mouthed across for the other nipple, felt it come up against his tongue, felt Jillian's body searching for him. He teased the other with his fingertips, circling and petting, deeply aroused by her response. His body was aching for her.

Daniel draped an arm over her hips, across her lower belly and held her in place while he slipped long and strong into her welcoming flesh.

Jillian's head thrashed on the pillow and he heard the sound of sheets being grasped in a clenched hand. Her body responded to his with a series of fluttering spasms that made his head spin for a moment. Her spine curled up to meet him. Her leg wrapped tighter around his hip.

Overwhelmed, Daniel gathered her closer with the arm under her neck and wrapped around her body. He cradled her head against his shoulder with his palm and rained kisses along her forehead. He froze for a moment in an ecstasy of stillness, with his head against her and his body bowed, his cock going rigidly hard inside the slick sheath of love and desire she had created for him.

Jillian pressed in closer to him and he leaned over as far as he could, making a blanket of skin and muscle to protect her. Daniel's hand slid over hers, fingers twining with hers, closing, pressing. He rocked gently in her; the least movement radiated exquisite pleasure through both their bodies.

Jillian closed her eyes and saw nothing but exquisite flashes of light; waves of sweetness rolled through her. She lost the sense of time passing as she rose and fell on the slow, sweet swells of a buoyant, enfolding sea, a dream of pleasure, heat and flesh, pressed and filled. Daniel's face rested lightly against the side of hers.

Jillian moaned and shivered and then turned her head into his chest as if she was trying to crawl inside him. She only did that when it was going to be too intense and too soul-shattering and she needed him to hold her together.

He could never hold out when she climaxed like that. Daniel pushed hard into heaven, took the light and wonder of her into his arms, held it, cherished it. They went supernova together, a complete loss of control. The universe dissolved into ecstatic, transcendent whiteness, and when he came back into his body it was soldered to Jillian's and she was turned towards him gasping and trembling. Daniel shivered and held her possessively.

She felt impossibly limp, disjointed. He eased out slowly and arranged them in a loose tangle of legs. Jillian was a little clingy, clutching him tightly. That was okay. At the moment he could do with a whole lot of clingy.

He watched her face go soft and muzzy. Her eyelids drifted closed and her long lashes became a dark crescent on her cheeks.

"Sleepy," she murmured.

Daniel kissed her forehead and she felt his lips curl in a smile. "Go ahead," he said, "we've got time."

(0)


	133. Chapter 133

**Usually I cross post chapters from Sunshine and Shadow to Moonlight and Steel. This one actually started as a chapter of Moonlight and Steel and I'm cross-posting it here. It's very Jillian-Sam, Jack-Sam-centric. It goes in season 8 right before Zero Hour.**

**(0)**

"It wasn't anyone's fault," Sam insisted. She shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position on the stone wall. She winced again and ground her teeth against the fire-flash of pain. Her shoulder was more than bruised. It was most likely dislocated. She wished tac vests had more in the way of padding.

"I should have warned you," Jillian said. "This is a desert. This is clearly ruins of Egyptian design."

"Every time we explore a ruin, or anywhere, there's a chance we can be hurt," Sam said, "Crashing through the floor comes under 'random acts of nature' in this case. What _is_ this? It's not a basement and the floor is stone, so it's not a well."

"It's a cistern," Jillian answered, looking up at the open sky beyond the stone walls.

"Isn't that a well?" Sam asked.

"In that it's designed to hold water, yes. But a cistern is built to catch and hold rainwater. They're carved into porous stone so that it acts like a natural filter to clean the water."

Sam looked up and swallowed a wave of nausea that rose up her throat. The movement of her head caused dizziness and tunnel vision. She pulled her knees up tighter.

"Clear skies so far," she said with a tight smile.

Jillian looked at Sam anxiously. There was a bandage wrapped around the gash on Sam's head. It had been an utter bitch to stop the bleeding. They had fallen through the floor together and both been knocked out cold for quite a while and it seemed that she must have bled the entire time. Dried blood covered the side of her face, her neck and most of the shoulder of her uniform. They'd both still been carrying full packs – both a blessing and curse. They had food, water, first aid, flashlights and everything else to survive for a few days – barring rain and going easy on the water. But the extra weight of the packs had caused them both to fall faster. Sam had landed on her shoulder and side and it seemed she'd used her head to break her fall. They'd both agreed that landing on her shoulder had been preferable to landing on her P90.

Jillian had just about landed feet first and then fallen on Sam. She was pretty sure her ankle wasn't fractured but it wouldn't hold her weight and she'd nearly passed out from the pain when she'd tried. Her wrist was also aching and had swollen considerably over the last hour. She could rotate it, gingerly, but it wasn't a pleasant experience.

Broken pieces of plaster and wood had fallen down with them. They were both covered with it and Jillian suspected that, even if she hadn't hit her head in the fall, something had hit her on the way down.

They had both taken what amounted to an overdose of aspirin with a healthy swallow of water.

"How's your head?" Jillian asked.

"Aching doesn't even begin to describe it," Sam admitted.

"Shoulder hurts like hell?" Jillian asked, almost conversationally.

"Oh yeah," Sam agreed. "How's your ankle?"

"Being held together by my boot. I think the aspirin helped, though it's upsetting my stomach."

"You should eat something," Sam suggested.

"They'll be here soon," Jillian said, comfortingly. "Scott had to have heard us fall and when he couldn't find us he went for help."

On a rare Sg1/SG8 joint exploration they had been exploring the ruins with Scotty Lawrence, Jillian's SG3 teammate and astronomy wiz-kid. Scotty had wandered in one direction, towards something he thought looked like an Observatory. Sam and Jillian had gone from one building to another until the floor in this one had collapsed out from under them. They had shouted for him after getting Sam's head bandaged. Sam's radio had been smashed and while Jillian's appeared to be intact they couldn't raise anyone.

"Unless he fell through the floor over in the other building," Sam said, conversationally. "Then we're going to have to wait until we're overdue to check in and for someone to make the – what was it? Six miles we hiked to get to this part of the ruins? And then we have to hope they brought something with them that can be used to rescue us…"

"Are you choosing to look on the bright side?" Jillian interrupted.

"Just trying to review all our options," Sam replied. She leaned her head back against the stone wall and closed her eyes. "On the bright side though, we could have fallen into a cistern full of water and drowned."

"Very cheery," Jillian noted.

"You're the civilian," Sam commented, "I'm supposed to stay upbeat and take care of you."

"You did! Pretty sure you broke my fall. Don't fall asleep," Jillian cautioned. She was more worried about Sam's head injury than she wanted to let on. She reached over and put her fingertips on Sam's neck for a moment. Her pulse was steady and her skin was warm and dry. Maybe a little too warm but nothing that would indicate Sam should be raving with fever. She hoped Sam hadn't noticed that her hand was shaking.

It didn't escape either of their notice that it was starting to get dark. The blue sky overhead was starting to streak with shades of crimson and orange and pink.

"You know," Sam mused," even if this is a cistern and not a well you and I are in for a world of hazing after we get rescued."

"Timmy and Lassie?" Jillian guessed.

"Oh hell yeah, if not much worse," Sam said.

"You know, in the TV series, Timmy fell into a lot of things but never into an actual well," Jillian remarked.

"I don't think that will help us very much," Sam answered. Then she coughed and followed it with a sharp pain-filled inhalation. "I'd give just about anything for a pillow right about now."

"A pillow?" Jillian repeated, amazed by the military mindset. "If we're wishing then let's try for an infirmary bed and an IV drip of morphine."

"That could be better," Sam admitted.

"Do you want to try to lie down and use your pack as a pillow?" Jillian asked.

"No, I'm afraid to move."

"I'm sorry I can't reset your shoulder," Jillian said, sadly, "But with my wrist out of commission I'm afraid I'd do more harm than good."

"It's okay," Sam said, quickly, "I'm fine if I just don't move…. Or breathe….or cough….."

"More aspirin?" Jillian asked.

"No, we should be careful about that," Sam said.

They were quiet for a little while, though they both had the same concerns about letting the other fall asleep. Sam obviously had a serious head injury and they weren't really sure about Jillian. They'd both been out cold.

"Can I ask you something?" Sam said, "Something personal? Even if I might regret asking and you don't have to answer?"

"Now I'm intrigued," Jillian said, "but it's not like anyone can really hear us at the moment. So go for it but I'll hold you to that bit about not answering."

She saw Sam start to nod and catch herself before doing it. She opened her eyes, winced and focused on the wall across from them.

"When you and Daniel make love, do you keep your eyes open?" Sam blurted out.

Jillian blinked in surprise. She paused for a moment and wondered if they were suffering the effects of the fall or if there was some unusual gas gathering in the bottom of the cistern. She mentally shrugged. Sam was her best friend and she wouldn't have asked if it wasn't something important to her for some reason.

"Yes," she answered, "as long as I can." She smiled a little, "Then we reach a point where I don't think either of us can keep them open anymore. It's just a natural reaction. Daniel compared it to sneezing once but he was joking."

Jillian stopped just before the words _why did you ask _managed to get out into the air. Sam was still contemplating the wall. It gave Jill a chance to study her for a moment. Sam was more pale than she had been a few minutes ago, and now she seemed sheened in sweat.

"I've never had that," Sam said, softly and drew Jillian's attention back to their conversation.

"What?" Jillian asked.

"Someone I wanted to keep my eyes open for," Sam answered. "Someone I couldn't look away from. They always seem to be looking back with too much…. something….. dominance, desperation, wanting more from me than I wanted to give."

"All of them?" Jillian asked. She didn't want to add _even Pete _but she thought the question must have been in her eyes. She had no idea really how far Sam had taken her relationship with Pete but she assumed it was beyond just good night kisses at the door. She also had no idea how many other lovers had been in Sam's life. She'd been engaged to Jonas

"Yes," Sam admitted, "sometimes I think maybe it must be me. Maybe I just can't ever give everything to a relationship. I don't think I ever have." She moved just her eyes so that she was looking at Jillian sideways. "What about before Daniel?"

"There was really only one man before Daniel," Jillian admitted. "He was a professor at the Sorbonne in Paris when I was attending the Institute of Art and Archaeology."

"One of your professors?" Sam managed to get one eyebrow to arch without grimacing in pain.

"Not one of mine, but he did teach there," Jillian said, "He was fifteen years older than me at the time." Her tone became musing, "He taught me a lot about being female and it seemed very exciting and glamorous then. I don't remember keeping my eyes open all the time. I don't think I did. It was very very different than it is with Daniel, on an emotional level and, well, yeah on a physical level." She stopped again to grin a little, with a flash of mischief that belied how much pain she was in, "He was shorter for thing – two inches shorter than me – and nature had not blessed him nearly as much as She did Daniel."

Sam groaned but not from pain, "Oh my god I wish you wouldn't tell me these things."

"Like you haven't been traveling off world with Daniel for the last seven years," Jillian teased.

"We don't exactly sleep together," Sam reminded her. Jillian tried to grin a little but then Sam's face got serious again. "I think it must be me."

"Must be you what?" Jillian asked.

"That's something wrong with me," Sam tried to explain, "or became wrong with me. I've fought so hard against being 'the girl', almost all my life. My Dad wanted me to be a boy. That was obvious not just from what he named me but in every aspect of our relationship and then Mark came along and he didn't need me to be the 'boy' anymore but somehow it was too late and that was my identity. Then, let's face it, I didn't exactly choose the most feminine career even though I can't imagine choosing anything else. Then you're with this person you care about and you want to make love and suddenly you are just really and truly and no getting around it 'the _girl'_ and I'm not sure that's something I can do."

Jillian was beginning to wonder if Sam was getting delirious from the pain.

"Maybe it's not you, it's just the men you've been with. Maybe they want to treat you like 'the girl' or want you to act like that. Maybe you've just never been with someone who just wants 'Sam,' Jillian said.

"Maybe," Sam said, slowly, "I've just never been with anyone who can get me that far outside my own head."

Jillian had just started to work up the courage to say _even Pete_ when Sam held her hand up.

"Do you hear that?" Sam asked.

Maybe it was military training but Sam had caught the sound of voices in the distance before Jillian. When Jillian finally heard them too her eyes widened with cautionary joy and a little hesitation.

They hadn't seen anyone else on the planet. It appeared deserted but that didn't mean there wasn't a potentially hostile force approaching. They both remained still and silent, even as they unsafed their Berettas and held them at the ready.

Then they heard a very familiar voice shouting in annoyance.

"Carter!"

Stunned Jillian said, "Is that Jack?"

"Yeah," Sam answered, though she continued to listen until they heard it again.

Why was the General here? He didn't even go off world anymore. Where they in that much trouble?

"_CARTER!"_

This was followed almost immediately but Daniel's slightly frantic, "_Jillian! Sam!"_

The women started hollering but it echoed hollowly off the stone walls and they weren't sure they could be heard at all, much less at a distance.

"Jill, hold your ears," Same said.

Glancing at her, Jillian saw that Sam had pointed her gun at the sky and was preparing to fire it. She pulled her knees up, lowered her head and put her fingers in her ears.

The noise was still as deafening. The shockwave from it sent pebbles and debris from the walls raining down on their heads. They didn't hear anything for some time afterwards but when they did it was directly overhead.

Sam was now almost translucent. Jillian couldn't imagine what the pain of the kickback from the Beretta had been. Sam drew her knees up to her chest and dropped her head onto them.

"Carter!" Jack barked

"Jill? Are you all right?"

Jillian looked up to find a circle of anxious faces looking down – Daniel, Mallory, Rusty, Teal'c; And Jack O'Neill hiding fear and worry behind a face like a thunder cloud.

"Umm, no," she hollered back, "We're both hurt and kind of stuck down here."

"We'll be right down. Just hold on, okay?" Daniel said.

Jillian looked at Sam and rolled her eyes. Sam looked up and smiled a little; then rested her head against the wall again. She truly looked awful now. Pale and sheened to the point of luminescence, with no color in her lips and her hands visible shaking.

"You heard the man, Sam," she said, "Hold on. Just a little bit longer."

"Okay," Sam murmured.

(0)

The men set to work unpacking the rappelling gear they'd brought with the rest of the emergency equipment.

"God dammit," Mallory growled.

Jack had to agree but he was concentrating on making sure the rope that would hold him on his descent over the edge were being securely attached to a stone pillar and Teal'c. Mallory started to reach for the other set of gear but Daniel was halfway into the harness already.

Mal glanced at the General in protest but Jack shook his head. Nothing short of a blow to his head would stop Daniel from going down there after Jillian.

So far no one had dared to argue with Jack about his ability to be the other one climbing down. His knees alone disqualified him. But rank had its privileges. He'd come through the Gate with the rest of the rescue equipment for the sole purpose of finding her.

When he had heard the sound of the Beretta firing he'd been filled with both hope and terror. When he had seen her hunched miserably in the bottom of the shaft he'd been filled with a soul-deep sense of gratitude and a sense of urgency to get to her that bordered on violence.

Sam was one of his personnel. Sam was under his command. Sam was under his protection. Sam had saved his life a dozen times. Sam was….

He cut the rest of his thoughts off sharply. Every thought now had to be on the rescue. Every thought, action and response had to be military. He adjusted the headlamp and the shoulder straps on the harness and silently told his knees to shut the hell up.

Jack had climbed in so many various conditions that it didn't hit him until he was over the edge of the cistern and several feet down just how dark it was starting to get.

"You okay?" he asked Daniel.

"Yeah," the reply was short and to the point, "I swear I'm never going to put her through anything like this again."

The comment confused Jack at first as he concentrated on keeping his feet firm against the sheer walls, trying hard not to dislodge anything that would rain down on Sam and Jillian. Then he realized it was usually Daniel that needed rescuing, Daniel who had disappeared and left Jillian frantic and wondering.

_Karma's a bitch,_ Jack thought.

Then he was at the bottom of the dimly lit shaft, unclipping the ropes and making his way unerringly to Carter.

"What are you doing here? Sir," she added the honorific almost as an afterthought.

"I brought the pizza and beer," Jack answered. He flipped on the headlamp as he squatted down and used every bit of his training not to react to her appearance.

Deathly pale with one side of her face covered in dried blood, she looked more like a ghostly apparition than a living being. She was trembling violently even though she was red hot when he reached out to touch her neck and feel her pulse. Her arm was twisted into a grotesque parody of what it should be. Sam didn't move away from Jack's hand, in fact she seemed to settle into it a little for a moment, not opening her eyes. Jack dropped his hand to Sam's good shoulder and squeezed before letting go.

"O'Neill! What is their condition?" Teal'c shouted down into the hole.

"Neither one of them is climbing out of here on their own!" Jack shouted back. He had given Jillian a swift glance on his way to Sam and observed her badly swollen wrist already. Daniel was kneeling over her and he could hear their voices murmuring a language he didn't understand. He wondered what it would be like to share a completely private language with someone. He'd seen the way Daniel had reached for her, how their arms had gone around each other, heads touching, faces pressed.

If he had not been who he was and Sam was not who she was, he'd have had her in the same kind of embrace. His relief was that great. His feelings were that strong.

"We'll have to be hauled up in tandem," Jack finished, dragging his thoughts back into order.

"Understood," Teal'c and Mallory answered in unison.

Jack turned his attention back to Sam. He put a hand on her forehead that somehow turned into a caress with the flat of his palm down to her cheek. She felt feverish and he wanted to drag her into his arms and hold her tight. He tried not to pull his hand back as if he had been scalded.

"So, this is different," he remarked, trying to sound casual as he continued to run his hands over her lightly, looking for more injuries. She winced noticeably when he touched the outside of her right thigh. No doubt she had landed on the Beretta.

"What?" she asked.

"Me rescuing you. Lately it's been the other way around."

Their eyes locked and held without blinking.

"Won't happen again, sir," she promised.

"Damned right it won't, Colonel," he growled. "But I'll yell at you later."

"Thank you for that, sir," she answered.

Jack swung his head around and barked, "Daniel!"

He'd tilted the head lamp up but Daniel still squinted and threw up an arm to block it.

"_Jesus_, Jack, warn me before you try to blind me okay?" he asked.

"I need your help," Jack said shortly and something in Jack's voice drove the sarcasm out of Daniel.

"Doing what?" he asked, cautiously.

"Carter's going to have to hold onto me to get out of here, and she can't with her shoulder like this," Jack answered.

"You mean?" Daniel sounded a little sick.

"Done it before," Jack said, "You have to hold her."

"Sir," Sam sounded too weak to protest.

Grimly, face ashen even in the diminishing light, Daniel gave Jillian's hand a brief squeeze, said, "Ya skoro vernus" _I'll be right back;_ and then moved around in front of Sam.

He gathered her into his arm and held her tight against his chest. "Gonna get a little cozy here for a minute okay?" he said, soothingly, "Scream if you need to. I'll never tell."

Jack moved around to take hold of her arm. The damp stone spread aching pain up into his knees. It was nothing compared to what he was about to do to Sam.

He took her arm in both his hands and heard the sharp hiss of breath like a knife in his own heart.

"I'll be quick," he promised.

"Just do it," Sam snapped.

With speed clearly born of experienced Jack pulled her arm straight out, twisted and they all heard the loud _pop_ as it settled back into the socket. Sam threw her head back and screamed, right in Daniel's ear and then slumped against him bonelessly.

Jack's eyes met Daniel's.

"She passed out?" Jack asked.

Daniel nodded, still looking grim. Jack moved around beside him.  
>"Give her to me," he said, "Can you get Jillian out of here?"<p>

"Yes," Daniel answered.

He shifted Sam into Jack's arms as if she was a sleeping child, gently, trying not to wake her. He went straight to Jillian but saw Jack stroke one hand over Sam's hair from his peripheral vision.

Jack would take care of Sam now. He was free to concentrate on Jillian. She was crying softly when he got back to her, though she had tried for a brave face when he had first rappelled down.

Daniel had been afraid to so much as touch her.

"Where's Scotty?" she asked, anxiously.

"He managed to get bitten by something," Daniel said, "some kind of big insect. We really need to talk to him about how to explore ruins safely. When he couldn't find the two of you he came back to the camp."

Her expression was alarmed. "Is he all right?"

"Hadn't swelled up, no fever and he made it six miles on his own. We sent him back through the Gate. What hurts?" he had asked.

"Pretty much everything," she'd admitted, "But you know those reservations we've had to go dancing on New Year's Eve?"

"Yeah?" he had paused in his search for her injuries to look back up into her eyes.

"I think we're going to have to cancel them," she was panting in a little from pain.

"Leg?" he asked, anxiously.

"Ankle," she answered, "I can't put weight on it at all."

He switched to Russian for some reason, perhaps needing to create a bubble of privacy around them; and he preferred the way Russian could be made into something lilting and soothing.

"Eto vse v poryadke." _It's all right._ "Ya lyublyu tebya." _I love you._ "My budem po-prezhnemu vykhoditʹ na obed." _We_ _will still go out to dinner._

At that point Jack had summoned him to help with Sam but now he returned to Jillian.

While he used the first aid supplied to put a splint on her wrist he said,

"You know this violates our Treaty?"

"What section?" she asked.

"Subsection C, paragraph 2," he quipped, "clearly states that I am to be the only one allowed to wander off and get lost or hurt."

"I don't remember agreeing to that during the negotiations," she said.

"It's in there," Daniel said. "Come on. I need you to stand up and hang onto me."

"Stand?"

"I've got you," his voice was so full of certainty that she gave him her hand with no hesitation.

Still, it was more like Daniel picking her than getting back on her own feet. He lifted her so that her arms were around his neck and her legs were wrapped around his waist. Her head rested safely on his shoulder. Daniel gave the rope a tug as he walked back over to the wall.

"Uderzhatʹ menya krepche," he whispered. _Hold onto me tight._

"Navsegda," she whispered back. _Forever._

Jack watched them getting hauled to safety. As soon as he could, Daniel had his feet braced against the wall and was walking them back up. He kept watching them until he saw Rusty leaning over to help finish the last few feet, taking Jillian from Daniel even as she grunted in pain disappearing over the edge.

Jack let out a breath. One down. One to go. He stopped stroking Sam a split second before Mallory looked over the edge.

"Ready any time you are, sir," he said.

"Gotta wake her up first," Jack muttered.

"Sorry, sir?" Mal asked, cupping a hand over his ear.

"We'll be right up!" Jack shouted back.

His voice jolted Sam back into consciousness. Jack's arms tightened around her a little possessively.

"Whatcha doing?" she murmured a little groggily.

"Rescuing you," he answered.

"Good," she sighed.

Jack knew she was about out of strength.

"Okay, let's go," he said.

He got her on her feet and into a similar position to the one Daniel had used to hold Jillian except that Sam didn't put both arms around his neck. She didn't want to lift the one they had just put back in place so she wrapped that one around his ribs.

Jack paused for a moment and cradled the side of her face in his hand. Her skin was so much paler than his anyway but right now the difference was shocking.

Everything between them had been like lately, as if the sun had permanently gone out and left everything in stark moonlight.

Wires so crossed they were in danger of frying the entire circuit board.

"Sir" she breathed softly. With her shoulder solidly back in its socket where it belonged she didn't seem to be in as much pain, just exhausted.

He knew it was a risk, but he let his eyes hold hers, his face serious. Sam bit her lower lip uncertainly, and his gaze darted down to the tiny motion, then drifted up to meet hers again, his expression shifting subtly.

It was a little like being transported in time, standing once more in one of those moments that have happened less and less often over the years between them, as they had realized it would always be more than a little flirtation, when they had both realized it could get very very serious and very out of control.

When the Goa'uld had proven to be tougher to kill than they had thought and everything had taken longer than anyone had ever imagined.

He knew she had tried to uncomplicated things by seeking a world beyond the SGC. He just wasn't sure it was working. He'd tried not to be a selfish bastard. He'd accepted command of the SGC as a signal to her – married to my career here, ask Sara, go on, do what you need to do.

He was just too much of a coward to let her go completely.

Jack gave the rope a fairly savage tug, braced one foot against the wall and said,

"Hang on as tight as you can. If you feel like you're slipping, say something and we'll rest for a moment; and that's an order."

"Yes, sir," she murmured.

She rested her head on his shoulder and he made no move to stop her. Then he hollered,

"Teal'c! Let's go."

With Sam wrapped around him and clinging tight, Jack leaned back against the rope and carried her to safety.

(0)

YA skoro vernus - I'll be right back, Russian


	134. Chapter 134

**A tag to Zero Hour. Sometimes I wonder how Jillian survives Season 8. ;-)**

**(0)**

Now that Jack was sitting in the big office and in the General's chair, Gerald Mallory had inherited Jack's old office. Jillian thought that it was amusing he was making far more use of it than its supposed former owner. At the moment Mal had gathered his entire team as well as all of SG3 – at the moment Reynolds, Bosco and Peterson – for the sole purpose of brainstorming ways to recover SG1.

Reynolds was smart enough not to go storming the gates of General O'Neill, the same way he would never have confronted Hammond without first seeking input from Jack. Now he sought out Mallory.

Jillian knew that Mal, of course, had a personal reason (in fact several) to go after SG1.

Everyone on the Base knew that SG1 would be the first team to stand up and come after them if the situation was reversed. A lot of people on the Base _had_ actually been rescued by SG1, including Mallory and Rusty Davidson.

And then there was Jillian herself – a seven-year member of the team, as beloved to him as anyone he had ever served with, almost a daughter at this point, whose wedding was in six weeks and even if they didn't understand why she continued to put up with some of the crap that came along with Daniel Jackson, they knew how much she loved him, even if they didn't always understand. They'd all lived through the hell of grief with her once. Jillian was well aware that every member of SG8 was willing to do whatever it took to get Daniel back, if only for her.

And not just SG8. SG3 was fired up. SG3 was still stinging over the loss of SG1 and seemed dead set on getting them back even if it meant storming Baal's gates in some kind of kamikaze run.

Mal was somewhat surprised to hear Jillian arguing vehemently against the idea. He knew that her heart was on the verge of snapping in two but she seemed very resistant to the idea of a military style rescue and recovery.

"SG1 isn't expendable, Jillian," Reynolds said. He was standing up, squared his feet and his shoulders and looked about as immovable as the Earth's orbit. "We are."

"Not to your wives," Jillian shot back. She stared him down for a moment before shifting her gaze briefly to Bosco and Peterson, "or your mothers or your girlfriends."

The two other men glanced away, unwilling to admit what she was saying had some merit.

"They accept the risks," Reynolds said, stubbornly.

"Do they?" Jillian countered.

"Yes!" Reynolds answered, "Look, Jillian, I know you're civilian…"

Mallory saw her eyes narrow dangerously and thought that if she still hadn't been wearing the cast around her ankle she'd have shot to her feet. Reynolds had just lit the fuse of her auburn-haired temper. Hot color burned over her high cheekbones.

"Don't say that as if it means idiot!" she snapped. Her expression raged with a host of conflicting emotions. "I've been out there. I was here when they brought General O'Neill back from being Ba'al's prisoner and I know what he went through! I want Daniel back more than I want air to breathe, but I'm not willing to risk your lives needlessly; and Daniel wouldn't want that either."

Reynolds took a breath to fire something back at her and was intercepted by Mallory's voice in soft, deadly command mode.

"Throttle back, Tin Man. It's not up to you and," he swiveled his head to spear Jillian with a hawk-like stare, "it's not up to you either. No one on this Base is going to give up on SG1, Jillian. We want them all back in one piece and before they're addicted to a damned sarcophagus. But the call here will come from the General."

Jillian swallowed and looked pointedly at the floor. Daniel had shared the agony of his withdrawal from too much time in a sarcophagus with her, one night in the deep dark when the memory had jolted him awake.

_They had begged and bullied Janet into letting them take Daniel to Jack's house. Jack hadn't wanted Daniel detoxing in anything near as public as the Base because no matter how isolated they thought he was it wouldn't be isolated enough._

_Gossip on a military base had X-Ray vision and super speed._

_Daniel told her about sweating and shivering and sobbing while Jack held him or Teal'c held him and somehow kept his body and soul and psyche from shaking apart. They'd immobilized him completely when he needed it, with commando holds he hadn't known at the time, or known how to break; and wouldn't have tried to if he'd known how. It had been comforting to be restrained like that, held by someone he trusted while his sanity hung by the single thread the sarcophagus had left him._

_Sam had kept him supplied with sports drinks he found noxious but swallowed anyway – and mostly they stayed down - and later with broth and bananas and magnesium tablets when he could swallow them. When he had finally been able to sleep undisturbed he had often woken up to her hand stroking his hair, or changing out cool cloths on his forehead._

_He'd never want to repeat the experience but everything he knew about being on a team and about how much Jack, Sam and Teal'c loved him had been learned in those days. That love had saved him. Love had dosed his body and his brain with endorphins and other sweet things. It was a special kind of methadone treatment for the sarcophagus addict. Love had helped ease him down, step by step, until his body began to regain some equilibrium and he'd been reborn as part of something much bigger than just himself_.

The memory caused a fresh flash of pain that did a little bit to bank the fire of her temper. She regained some control though a tint of color still lurked over her cheekbones.

When Mallory could tell that Reynolds and Jillian were finished arguing he said to Reynolds,

"The General tells me that handing over Camulus is still in play."

"Yes," Reynolds answered.

"You gave the General a list of possible places to make an exchange like that?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'll suggest having at least 3 SG teams standing by as back up," he held up a hand to stave off Jillian protest, "and yes SG8 will be one of those teams but whether or not you'll be going depends on what Brightman says when you cast comes off tomorrow."

"But…."

"If you can't run you can't go," Mallory said, "and before you say another word, Daniel doesn't think you're expendable. Sometimes those wives and mothers and girlfriends are husbands and fiancés."

Jillian's jaw clenched in frustration but Mal was right and he was her commanding officer. She only went through the Gate if he said so and the only one who could override him was Jack.

She shut her mind down before it could start dwelling on whatever Daniel might be enduring. They would get him back. Of that she had no doubt.

When they did, she'd get him through whatever Baal had done to him.

(0)


	135. Chapter 135

**Still tagging Zero Hour.**

It was very late at night when the phone rang. Jillian stared at it for a moment, poised in fight or flight mode. Late night phone calls were either very good or very bad.

She approached it slowly with terror beating hard and robbing her of breath. She let it ring until the machine picked it up, much too frightened to lift the receiver herself no matter what the caller ID said.

Daniel's voice started talking the moment the automated message ended in the beep.

"Jill, baby, it's Daniel. I know you're there and you're too scared to pick up the phone but it's me and I'm fine and I really need to hear your voice. Well I mean I'm not hurt. I'm actually starving and I'm sick to death of MREs and want a decent cup of coffee and I need a shower and to be honest I'm just a little bit sex-starved…"

Jillian had picked up the receiver at that point. Her voice was shaking and tears were blurring her vision.

"Did it occur to you that I might not be alone?" she asked.

There was a long pause and then a deep breath.

"I thought that last part might be a good indication that _I'm_ alone and no one has a staff weapon pointed at my head," he answered.

His voice washed over her like a blanket but the image of the sarcophagus and torture and withdrawal was making her bleed internally.

"How did you escape? Are Teal'c and Sam with you?"

"Are you sitting down?"

"Why?" she asked as ice trickled down her spine.

"No, no it's fine. We're all fine. Sit down."

She complied, perching uneasily on the edge of the couch and said, "Okay."

"I need you to listen to me very carefully. We were never captured by Baal. We got trapped in Anubis' secret base and it took a while to figure out how to get out."

"You weren't captured?" she repeated.

"No. Never."

"You weren't…."

"No, Jillian. I was frustrated and I was working hard to get back here but I wasn't in the hands of Baal. Baby, I'm so sorry about all this. Trapped and missing off world is one thing but I almost had a coronary when I found out you've been thinking I was being held prisoner, probably tortured. I am _fine."_

Jillian was too overcome with relief to speak. She fell against the back of the couch, closed her eyes and exhaled softly. It felt like the first breath she had let out in days. She felt almost faint.

Daniel tolerated the silence for about fifteen seconds.

"Jillian? Are you all right?"

"Of course I am! You're back and safe and everything is fine again!"

"You're not mad?" He sounded suddenly so lost and uncertain that she sat up.

"No. Why would I be? You got trapped off world. It happens."

The silence was on his part now.

"Daniel?"

"You're not here," he said, "You've never left before when I was missing."

The desolation in his voice was like a chilly wind blowing over an empty grassland. He sounded as if his heart was breaking.

"Daniel," she exhaled again. Tears pricked at her eyes even as she breathlessly laughed at him. "I had to come home to meet with the contractors about finalizing the garage. You knew that was today."

"Oh my god," he whispered, "Was that _today?_ I'm so sorry. You know I wanted to be there."

"It's no big deal," she cut him off quickly, "I didn't change anything. I signed the contract and they're going to start Monday."

"Wait, if that was today then you got your cast off already?"

"Yes."

"How do you feel?"

"Lighter," she answered, "Balanced. It's fun to wear matching shoes again. Do you want me to come back to the Base?"

"No. Now that I know you aren't mad at me I'm not scared to come home."

"You were scared to come home?"

"I keep waiting for the thing that's going to make you come to your senses about all of this. You're still going to marry me? Right?"

"You're not going to lose me, Daniel," Jillian said.

She could hear him swallow and allowed him the silence for a moment. She had no way of knowing that his fear of losing her was so great it had replaced all his former nightmares.

"Come home, Bǎobèi. I missed you so much. Just drive carefully. It's late and you said you were exhausted."

"Jack's having a car brought for me. He's taking Sam home."

"Okay."

"God, Jillian, I want to say a whole lot of ridiculously sappy, maudlin loving things to you right now and I don't know where to start."

"Say them in person, after we make mad, passionate love for hours."

There was a hitch in his breathing.

"Wait for me in bed?"

"I'll have it all warmed up for you."

"Oh god I want you so much, Jill. I want you even when I'm _having_ you."

"I love you, Daniel."

"I love you, too."

"Come home."

"As fast as I can."

(0)


	136. Chapter 136

**Daniel and Jillian reunite after he goes missing in Icon. An 'after the credits' missing scene.**

**(0)**

Jillian had been oddly detached since his rescue from the Rand Protectorate. She had not met him in the Gate Room. She had waited quietly, arms folded, until Dr. Carmichael had finished checking him over and pronounced him well but still in need of rest. He had gone to the debriefing with only the promise from her that she would meet him at the truck. She'd already been behind the wheel, waiting in the driver's seat.

She hadn't spoken to him on the ride home, hadn't touched him or attempted to make any contact at all. Sometimes she glanced at him when the truck was in motion. At stop signs and red lights she stared resolutely ahead and remained silent. Daniel thought of dozens of things to say but he had lost the shape of words in the face of her unfathomable silence.

He decided she was angry with him. He _had_ insisted on going back to Rand, convinced he could change things and somehow single-handedly stop a war. He had been driven by guilt and conscience to risk his life to save people he didn't even know.

Again.

He'd paid dearly for that decision….. But so had she. Daniel had the cold, sinking feeling in his soul that Jillian had finally figured out just how much he was to handle.

The first thing inadvertent and inappropriate thing he blurted out as their house came into view was,

"The garage is finished?"

She glanced at him, barely a flicker of her eyes in his direction as she turned into the newly paved black expanse of driveway.

"Yes." It was clipped and without emotion.

A touch of her finger to a control on the dashboard – a new one that he hadn't even noticed – and the garage door went up. He had to blink a few times to adjust to the change from sunlight to overhead fluorescent. The garage door made a heavy utilitarian clanging sound, bumped up against the concrete floor and then silence descended.

He sat, staring at unfinished drywall, clenching his hands on his knees because he wanted to hold her _so_ badly.

"Listen, Jillian," he said, finally, "I know you're mad…."

He never got any further. Jillian moved across the space between them faster than he would have thought possible. One moment he was speaking and the next she was crawling into his lap as if she wanted to get inside him, straddling him, dragging his shirt out of his pants while her mouth devoured his and made speaking impossible. For a single suspended moment he was too startled to react but, _oh god_ how he had wanted her during all those too-long nights in the wrong place. It had seemed at times that all his senses had searched for her desperately, even while his rational, ever-present brain had tried to accept that she wasn't there. Everything had been _wrong_ – the wrong voices, the wrong shapes, the wrong scents.

He had lived in nearly the same kind of closeness with Lida that he shared with Jillian. He had lived for days and then weeks in the same house with a woman who cooked for him, cared for him, was starting to care about him in all the wrong ways; and all the time he had been surrounded by the wrongness of it, the not-in-love-ness. His senses and soul had been screaming for Jillian. He had woken too many times aching for her, unmoored, no one to serve as his anchor, sharply aware of his solitary status alone bed, the room…. Alone in a world that didn't belong to him.

The woman he had longed for with every beat of his aching heart was currently knocking his glasses askew while dragging his shirt over his head. She got it part of the way off and then abandoned him, leaving him tangled and blind in black fabric as her hands grazed down his chest. Her touch was firm, palms molded over the contours, thumbs flicking, fingers trailing over ab muscles that jumped and shivered in response.

He wanted her so much the touch of the air was almost too much stimulation.

He managed to wrestle the shirt the rest of the way off his arms and head, rescuing his glasses before they fell off and tossing them unceremoniously on the dashboard. Jillian turned her attention to the front of his pants just as he pulled her back in for another soul-drenching kiss. Fingers threaded into her hair, pulling her even closer and there was sweet desperation against his mouth where there had once been only dreams. The kiss started the way his body felt, hard and demanding, before easing into something moist and erotic.

It was always one of the most erotic things she did – unfastening his belt while her hands shook, fingers sliding the zipper down, the vibration of the teeth into his erection as she freed him….

He broke off the kiss as if he was drowning, startled, drawing air into aching lungs as she finally got the front of his pants open and slid her hand inside.

He had become instantly, insanely hard the moment her mouth had closed over his. The harsh knowledge of how long it had been closed over both of them and they kissed while she stroked him.

She was open and straddling him. He ran his hands up length of her thighs through the soft fabric of her jeans and pressed both thumbs between her them. He remembered unerringly exactly where to touch her. In response she tugged at the hard dripping head of his cock with one hand and tried to get more of his khakis out of the way with the other. Daniel whimpered and thrust up into her hand.

Then they were too busy trying to get unnecessary clothing out of the way without letting go. Pinned down he lifted his hips up against her body, a shudder ran through his densely muscled body, and Jillian got her hand out of the way and pushed down, putting more of her weight on him. His own hands ran up her hips and narrow waist and found her breasts, holding and caressing.

She made a sound of -

_Oh god_, he thought, his breath hitching in his chest as the sound knifed him in the heart, _oh god no, no Jillian please._

_- _a sound of shattered, heartbroken relief. Daniel groaned in response, helpless abject apology.

Shaking, Daniel took some control over the situation. He put both hands on her hips and pushed her off of him just long enough to get her jeans out of the way. He got them as far as her ankles, caught up against her tennis shoes, before she was straddling him again. Jillian was like a live wire wrenched out of the wall, her mouth once more connected to his, her tongue seeking his, a circuit completed. Kneeling over him, she wrenched her t-shirt over her head while he pushed his khakis and shorts down to his thighs.

There were no more preliminaries after that – just a long solid thrust into heaven, into the drenched silk and tight satin. The heat, the feel of warm skin and wet friction, breathing sharp and impassioned as it fogged the windows of the truck, all coalesced into a moment of incandescent joy. Arms wrapped around each other in a fierce, cherished embrace, faces pressed against shoulders, moving together, driving hard and fast. Jillian's weight had settled on his legs.

Daniel turned his head, used his jaw to tip her head up and fastened his mouth to her neck. She let go of him to run her hands over the hard muscles of his chest and then sobbed and collapsed again, putting her arms around his neck and shoulders and clinging to him.

Daniel's arms folded around her, as if he was trying to protect her from something, embracing all her light and wonder, holding her, cherishing her all the more for the long separation. He could feel something indescribable happening inside her body, as if she was tightening and softening all at the same time and her sobs were his name now. Her body was longing and insistence and demand and relief, and _god,_ this was the private language that they only spoke to each and they were both wonderfully, perfectly fluent in it.

And right now they spoke eloquently of a desperate need to set right the Universe and reassert life in the shadow of death.

Jillian slid down suddenly on his hard, beloved body and stopped moving.

"_Dan,"_ she gasped and then the silence and the stillness that was the suspended moment just before she climaxed.

She curled over, still sobbing while her body pulsed so hard he had to lock his arm across her lower back to hold her in place. He thrust faster, faster than he had thought possible, his feet braced on the floorboards, trying to make it last; but then the same stillness settled over him and he took a breath as if he was about to go underwater for a long time. Lightning sizzled down his spine and into his groin and then shot into her in spasms, over and over.

They climaxed together in waves, driven to the edge of what they could process. Daniel's head was thrown back, bucking and trembling. Jillian rode it with her thighs locked around his hips, holding them together. They came like the pounding sea, ebbing and flowing into and over each other. Every pulse, every action, the locked embrace, every breath said _I love you, I love you. ….._

Daniel's hands were suddenly everywhere, his mouth everywhere he could reach, trying to stroke her, assure himself that she was okay, devour her and Jillian matched him movement for movement; out of control and unable to hide the way they craved each other or their possessive protectiveness or their long-denied need.

It took some time to regain sense. Daniel was kissing her, his tongue sliding over and under hers. Daniel cradled the precious, boneless weight of her body. They stayed joined in what was really a fantastically awkward position but neither cared.

The words, when they could speak, poured out of both of them at the same time, in between kisses and short breaths, hands stroking and petting and remembering.

"You're shaking –"

"I thought you were dead-"

"No, _no_,I'm fine, I'm right here-"

"I can't live without you –"

"You don't have to-"

"It's not life-"

"Baby, I'm right here-"

"I'd rather die with you-"

"Bǎobèi, no one is dying!"

"The wedding is in three weeks."

"I know! I'm here."

His hand ghosted down from her ribs to the dip in her waist, came to rest on her hip and pulled her closer. His face found the base of her throat and kissed the throbbing pulse point.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

Shocked he leaned his head back and tried to look into her eyes.

"For what?"

She waved a hand around the fogged cab of the truck.

"For this, for not waiting until we got inside."

"You're kidding right?"

"No, I just… I needed to feel that you're alive."

"I _am_," he insisted, nuzzling her neck and breathing softly, "and this was the hottest thing that ever happened to me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he breathed it in amazement, "I was so sure you were mad at me…"

"No," she interrupted, "If I had so much as touched you I'd have ravished you wherever we were. Gate Room, infirmary…."

Daniel smiled a little and nuzzled her face.

"I felt the same way, until I decided you were mad at me," he admitted, "I missed you so much. If you want to do it again inside the house, we'll just have to wait about twenty minutes. Okay?"

She pressed a smile against the spikey fringe of hair at the top of his forehead.

"You feel like you could go again now," she said, shifting her hips a little.

He was still sheathed in her, still hard, still aroused in a way that was wonderful and somehow poignant. The movement of her hips combined with gravity and sent fluid trickling downward, over his balls and onto his thighs, like a trail of slow tears. He pressed upward.

"Whatever you want," he whispered. "I'll try."

Her lips met his again and it was tender and soft and _aware_ and it said she loved him. She ruffled the hair at the back of his neck with her fingertips.

"We should probably go inside," she said, sounding reluctant.

"Okay."

The separation was almost as sweet as it had been to unite in the first place, accompanied by the same low groan. They awkwardly shifted back into khakis and jeans, but made do with gathering their shirts and carrying them back into the house. Jillian's black t-shirt had a boot print in the middle of it from being caught under his foot on the floor.

Daniel kicked off his loafers at the door and tossed their shirts in the general direction of the washer. He took a deep, deep breath of home and then walked into the dining room to look at the aquarium for a moment, soothed by the hum and watery gurgle and the dart and flash of the fish.

When he turned around Jillian was staring at him as if he was a possession, fragile and beloved; one that she thought had been shattered into pieces and she was still a little amazed to find it in one piece.

"Daniel," she made his name sound like a prayer.

The distance between them was suddenly unbearable. He eradicated it in a few swift strides and pulled her against his naked chest. As his arms corded around her and he felt her settled and slip her arms around his waist all the right sounds and scents and feelings wrapped around him.

Then he knew where he was with complete certainty.

He was home.


	137. Chapter 137

"Oh my _god_, Baby Girl," her father's voice said from the doorway of the master bedroom of Jack's cabin.

She turned to her right, away from the mirror. Alexander North was dashingly handsome in his dark suit and tie. He was staring at her slack-jawed and definitely misty-eyed.

He'd expected the first sight of his daughter in her wedding gown to be emotional. He had underestimated how much.

She'd chosen to forgo a veil in favor of wearing some of her hair upswept away from her face and caught in place with a diamond clip. They rest of it fell in a cascade of waves and was strewn with tiny flowers. Her dress was simple satin, strapless, unadorned except by its own pleats and folds. Folds of fabric crossed over her breasts, creating a sweetheart neckline, and cinched her waist before flowing away in long folds. The skirt fell to her feet and then swept back into a delicate train.

It wasn't snow white. Snow white wasn't a color Jillian could ever wear. It was creamier, tending more towards ivory, a 'quieter' white.

She was wearing her mother's diamond pendant and matching dangling earrings. Alexander's heart rippled painfully, like a still pond struck by a stone. He'd have given almost anything to share this day with her mother, his dearly beloved wife from whom death had never managed to make him part.

He realized she was waiting for him to continue, eyebrows raised delicately, lips parted slightly, gazing at him with her mother's goddess green eyes.

"You look incredible," he managed to finally finish.

Jillian looked self-conscious, blushing as she tucked an invisible piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Thanks, Dad," she said, softly. Then changed the subject abruptly, "Is Daniel all right?"

"The last time I saw him he was charming your grandfather in Gaelic. I think he's wasting his time, personally. Your Athair mór was already impressed with him after the rehearsal dinner."

"Does he look nervous?" she asked, anxiously.

"Daniel? No. Not at all. Scotty looks more nervous than Daniel does."

At that moment, their wedding planner's assistant, Megan, entered in the room. She gave Jillian a bouquet of white roses and carnations with their edges tinted pale blue.

"We're ready when you are, Jillian. Everyone's in place."

Alexander offered his daughter his arm and she slipped her hand around it, clinging gratefully.

As they moved out into the living room and the outdoors beyond where everyone was waiting, Alexander said,

"I'm not giving you away, you know. No matter who you marry or how much you love him, you're my daughter. Always."

Jillian's hand tightened on his arm.

"I know, Dad," she said.

(0)

Daniel wasn't nervous until Scotty starting singing the opening lines of Perhaps Love. As Daniel moved under the floral arch in front of Jack's newly repaired and freshly stained deck, he was seized with an almost paralyzing sense that he was going to mess this up somehow and he just wanted it to be perfect for her. Something in him had balked at Jillian's suggestion that they be married _on_ the dock. He had bad flashbacks to his days with two left feet and had been certain they would both end up in the lake.

He had both Jack and Teal'c at his back and that made him feel better.

The guitar music filled the spring air along with Scotty's strong and lilting tenor. Cassie was first down the aisle between the white folding chairs and all their closest friends and family. Sam followed. They were wearing pale blue dresses in some floating fabric that made them both look ethereal and angelic.

Then Jillian came into view past the edge of the house and Daniel was stunned to utter stillness. He forgot to be nervous. He forgot to worry. He forgot every word of his vows and everything else that had mattered two seconds previously.

He forgot how to breathe.

He knew he was probably gaping like a fool and he didn't care. He felt suddenly spectacularly alive, as if everything had been leading to this moment, ever since the splendid accident of having Jillian come into his life. Chance-met strangers who had fallen in love, forged a life together in impossible circumstances and were now ready to become husband and wife.

She was lovely beyond words – tall, elegant, graceful, a vision in white with her arm gently linked through her fathers as she came towards him with sure steps. She was magnificent. She loved him and she was willing to marry him. The knowledge filled him with no small sense of awe and wonder.

As for Jillian, she hadn't taken her eyes off him since she'd first past the house and begun the walk towards the altar. It had seemed so simple last night during the rehearsal – just move sedately to the rhythm of Scotty's song, enjoy the moment, be the serene and beautiful bride walking with certainty towards the man she loved.

The reality was something quite different. Daniel had been handsome enough last night in his beige chinos and one of the endless assortment of sweaters he used to stay warm. This one had been light blue and made his eyes shine like the tropical joy deep in the trough of a Caribbean wave. They'd been relaxed, happy, joking with guests, laughing at Jack's irreverent humor, moving with ease through the motions that would join them together.

Now Daniel was simply stunning. In a crisp black silk suit and tie and a blue shirt doing the same incredible things to his eyes as the sweater, Jillian wanted to run to him, fly to him. Only her father's arm linked through hers and his steady steps kept her from doing so.

Daniel - brilliant, dangerous, formidable, gentle, persuasive, irascible, wonderful Daniel. She knew him as well as anyone ever had, perhaps better. She had spent the last five years of her life finding out what lay on the other side of the handsome, chiseled face and felt as if she had barely scratched the surface and all the hidden depths behind the seemingly guileless pale blue eyes. She was now aware of the shadows and passions inside the virile packaging. She knew his light and his darkness and she wanted him more now than she had back in the days when he hadn't even been aware of her existence.

Jillian's heart grew wings and flew to Daniel far ahead of her feet. The way his eyes were shining it seemed he felt the moment her heart touched his.

With her father's help she managed to remain dignified and upright then entire way down the aisle. He placed her hand in Daniel's, which was warm and dry if shaking a little.

Their eyes met and for the briefest moment there was nothing else but the two of them – no sounds, no people, nothing. Despite everything they had been through since this began – or maybe because of it - despite everything they had felt and longed for and suffered all these long years together, this experience was suddenly more intense than anything that had come before it. So transcendent and so powerful that for this brief moment they were transported to a place that existed only for the two of them. It was a phenomenon that had never manifested this strongly before.

They were both in danger of simply being swept away on a tide of love and need and arousal. They were in love. They had been in love for years. Until now, they had never really understood how strong that emotion was. Until now they had never felt the full force of it, undammed and overflowing.

Daniel closed his hand hard on Jillian's, relishing her long graceful fingers twined with his strong solid fingers.

The voice of the chaplain of NORAD and the SGC, Reverend Tollefson, brought them back to reality. He had raised his hands to get everyone's attention and begun speaking,

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Jillian and Daniel in marriage. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.

"Jillian and Daniel, remember to treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Take responsibility for making the other feel safe, and give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at some time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not just the part that seems wrong. In this way, you can survive the times when clouds drift across the face of the sun, remembering that, just because you may lose sight of it for a moment, does not mean the sun has gone away. And, if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight."

"May you always need one another, not to fill an emptiness, but to help each other know your fullness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another. May you succeed in all important ways with each other, and not fail in the little graces. May you have happiness, and may you find it in making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it in loving one another.

"No other human ties are more tender and no other vows more important than those you are about to take. Both of you come to this day with the deep realization that the contract of marriage is sacred as are all of its obligations and responsibilities." He paused to focus his attention on the couple facing him. "Jillian, what would you like to say to Daniel?"

Jillian turned to face him and put both her hands in his.

"Daniel," she made his name something sacred. Her voice shook with the power of love, "I've spent my entire life in search of rare and precious and amazing things. But of all the things I've seen and all the things I've found, the most rare and precious and amazing of all …. is you.

"Today I pledge to you what has already been yours for so long, since the first time I ever saw you – my heart and my eternal love.

" As we have always done, I promise to walk beside with you through life's journeys. No matter what lies in our path, it will be _our_ path, together. In whatever joys and sorrows lie ahead of us, I am yours – faithful and loving always.

"This is my solemn vow."

By the time she finished half their guests were reaching for tissues and Sam and Cassie were blinking hard.

"Daniel," Reverend Tollefson said, "What would you like to say to Jillian?"

Daniel squeezed her hands.

"Jillian," he began slowly and with great solemnity, "last week you asked me what I thought of you hyphenating your last name instead of just changing it. I told you it was up to you and it still is. But the truth is that I love your last name. It is what you have always been to me – my true North, my guiding light, the single star that has guided me home. You are my one constant. " Daniel had to pause and swallow a little, "Your love is the greatest gift in my life. I promise to love you, to be your best friend, to respect and support you, to work together with you to achieve our goals, to accept you unconditionally, and to share my life with you in every possible way." Daniel paused, reached for her hand and placed it over his heart.

"Vot moe serce. Ono polno lubvi," he said, "Ona polna lyubvi tolʹko dlya vas. This is my solemn vow."

Most of their guests were dealing with teary eyes and dry throats by now. Daniel and Jillian were smiling at each other with diamond-white brilliance.

Reverend Tollefson spoke again as they turned to face him once more.

"Do you, Daniel and Jillian, promise to give each other your deepest love and your truest thoughts, from this time onward, to join with each other and to share all that is to come, to be each other's faithful spouse, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond in a commitment made this day in love, kept in faith, and eternally made new?"

Together in a single strong joyous voice Daniel and Jillian said, "I do."

The reverend put his hands out over their heads and spoke the blessing,

"Now you will feel no rain for each of you will be shelter for the other.

Now you will feel no cold for each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there will be no loneliness for each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two persons but there is only one life before you.

May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years,

May happiness be your companion and your days together be long.

May you both love eternally because of the other."

The minister turned to Jack. "May I have the rings?"

Two simple gold bands appeared from the pocket of Jack's dress blues. He was grinning at Daniel a little when he handed them over.

The reverend gave the first one to Jillian. She turned to Daniel once more and slipped the ring over the fourth finger of his left hand.

"Daniel," she said, "I give you this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."

The second ring was given to Daniel who said, as he put it on the fourth finger of her left hand,

"Jillian, I give you this ring as an eternal symbol of my love and commitment to you."

Holding his hands out over Daniel and Jillian, Reverend Tollefson said,

"And now by the power vested in me by the state of Minnesota, I pronounce you husband and wife together."

He didn't have to tell them to kiss. They had been barely restraining themselves since the ceremony had begun. Daniel smiled at her and let all the love and hot desire he felt show in his eyes. Jillian took the single step forward that brought her into his arms. The kiss was slow and lingering, burning with passion and surrender, eyes, closed, savoring, an expression of pure love and devotion.

When they finally parted to gaze into each other's eyes and gently laugh, their guests were applauding and Scotty's guitar was accompanying them with the joyous chords of Beethoven's Ode to Joy, bridging the solemnness of the ceremony to the party that was waiting to start.

"So what am I supposed to call you now?" Daniel asked her. "Dr. Mrs. Jillian North-Jackson?"

Her smile was radiant. It blocked out the sun and outshone the stars. She leaned up to offer him another kiss and said, "I think you can just call me 'yours'."

(0)

Vot moe serce. Ono polno lubvi. Ona polna lyubvi tolʹko dlya vas. – This is my heart. It is full of love. It is full of love for you.


	138. Chapter 138

Jack hadn't realized that his cabin and the surrounding grounds and lake could look so elegant. The wedding Daniel and Jillian had planned turned his rustic and slightly neglected woodsy cabin into a place that looked more as if fairies had taken it over and made it into a forest wonderland. A large white tent had been erected for the reception, with a dance floor and round tables with shades of blue and white in the tablecloths and flowers and candles. There was a dance floor in the center, in front of the long rectangular head table. A DJ had played soft music for the guests as they had appetizers and drinks, waiting for the wedding party to finish having their pictures taken.

There had been something 'right-feeling' about entering the tent with Sam on his arm. He had wondered if she had any idea how lovely she looked and decided she didn't. She was too relaxed, smiling with too much happiness, to know the devastating effect she was having on him. They had nothing to change her casually tousled hairstyle, except to attach a spray of pale blue flowers to one side. It still looked as if someone had just run affectionate, longing fingers through it.

The effect of the pale blue dress on her eyes was not worth dwelling on if he wanted to be able to continue to form coherent thought.

The DJ had played Can't Help Falling in Love with you and Daniel and Jillian had danced together for the first time as husband and wife. On the third verse the wedding party joined them – Jack with Sam and Teal'c towering over Cassie. Jack tried to focus on how well Teal'c had absorbed the dance lessons Daniel had given him and _not_ on taking Sam into his arms as Elvis crooned about how some things were meant to be. When it seemed obvious that Teal'c was doing just fine, Jack turned looked over Sam's head at Jillian and Daniel but they were staring into each other's eyes with so much love that it seemed intrusive. He looked down at Sam and smiled and was both relieved and disappointed when the music ended.

His toast to the newlyweds had gone over well….

_Daniel's crazy about her and it's easy to see why. As for Jillian, try as I could I can only conclude that she's just plain crazy. I mean, honey, you just married __Daniel__ of your own free will….._

Jillian had danced with her father to I Hope You Dance. The long buffet table had been opened and it seemed obvious that only the pickiest of eaters would starve. The guest list had been small and there was an intimate camaraderie because of it. The only real strangers had been Jillian's family from out of town and that hadn't lasted long. By the end of Jack's toast they were all like long-lost friends, though possibly the most interesting pairing was General Hammond and Jillian's extremely Scottish grandfather. They had both served their countries in the military – Jillian's Athair mór was retired RAF - and were already swapping tall tales. Under ordinary circumstances the competing dialects of Texas drawl and Highland brogue would have fascinated Daniel. Today he couldn't seem to think of anything but Jillian.

By the time the bar had been opened for an hour the party had been officially underway.

They danced and ate and toasted and talked as the day faded gradually into the evening. Soft lights came up and cast everything in an other-worldly incandescence that added to the fairytale feeling. If Daniel and Jillian had been trying to create something magical for their wedding, they had succeeded beyond imagination.

If Jack chose to be deliberately somewhere else, talking to someone else, or getting something from the cabin every time Sam danced with Pete…. Well, he was pretty sure no one noticed.

When he saw Sam standing by herself on his back deck, with the fading evening casting her shades of gold and crimson, he didn't allow himself to think twice. He spared one glance around for Shanahan and found him sitting at a table with most of SG8, deep in some raucous conversation.

Then he went to the bar and got two bottles of Guinness and strolled casually over to join her.

"Taking a break?" he asked.

"You'd be surprised how much work is involved in being the Maid of Honor,' she answered.

"You didn't have to give a speech," Jack reminded her.

He offered her one of the bottles and she accepted it with a smile. They drank for a few minutes in companionable silence.

Sam gestured with the bottle back towards the party.

"Did you ever think you'd see him look that happy?" Sam asked.

Jack looked back at the bride and groom, dancing under their white canopy, surrounded by people who loved them. The song was My Girl and Jack had been there when it started, had seen Daniel stand up from the table where he was visiting with Jillian's aunt and uncle. His eyes had found her unerringly and he cocked a finger at her, beckoning, smiling, confident she'd come to him. Radiating love, Jillian had met him in the middle of the dance floor and molded her body to his in the way of people who had been dancing together for years. Jack saw them now as Jillian whispered something into Daniel's ear and he threw his head back to laugh. He swept her around in an arc of sheer exuberance that made her laugh too. It was a moment of shared ecstasy inside their enchanted world.

Jack felt a deep, soulful _ache_ of joy for both of them. Laughing and sparkling in love they were breathtakingly beautiful together.

"After he lost Sha're, I thought we'd lose him too," Jack admitted in a rare moment of openness.

Sam nodded thoughtfully and said, "I did too. I've never been quite sure why he got past so much so fast. Maybe Jillian helped him more than we did."

"I suspect she did," Jack said with his usual laconic brevity.

Sam glanced up at him. At least she meant it as a glance. But when she looked, she couldn't look away. His rugged face was mysterious in the setting sun, one half in light, the other in shadow. The dark of his eyes was impenetrable as always, with no way to tell what he was really thinking when he looked at her and damn having feelings for a man from Special Forces anyway.

_Feelings, _she chided herself in derision. What she felt for Jack O'Neill was as hot and bright as a muzzle flash.

She suspected if they ever got together it would be over just as fast. She didn't want something hot and bright and over in a flash. She wanted something permanent and lasting.

At least that was what she told herself; or maybe she was just using her high-priced education to manufacture a spectacular excuse for being with Pete.

She looked at Daniel and Jillian again, dancing now to the strains of Natalie Cole and her father singing Unforgettable and knew she had never felt emotion that powerful. She wasn't even sure she was capable of it. She wasn't sure she could live with or express the kind of passion and dedication that Daniel and Jillian had given to each other.

She was suddenly glad she had Pete. When this day was over it would have been impossible to return to her own workaholic, duty-bound life without some kind of light in it. It would have seemed unbelievably bleak by contrast.

She wanted to be happy someday. She wasn't sure if that would ever be possible with Jack.

As if she had conjured him out of the ether, Pete was suddenly walking up onto the deck.

"There you are!" he said, coming to her, putting his arm around her waist and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah," she said, a little breathlessly, "I needed some air."

"We're outside," Pete reminded her.

It didn't escape Sam's notice that Pete hadn't acknowledged Jack. Maybe she was too used to everyone else in their lives having to salute him.

"Quieter air," she said.

"Oh," he laughed a little, "I'm supposed to come get you; and you, General. They want some pictures of the wedding party with the sunset."

Sam drained her beer and tossed the empty bottle in the receptacle labeled recycling. Jack's joined hers a second later.

As they went down the stairs of the deck to join the rest of the wedding party gathering on the edge of the lake, Jack strode ahead of them, intent on retrieving his jacket from the back of the chair at the head table.

Pete said, hopefully, "Maybe we could get a picture of just the two us?"

He squeezed her hand and Sam smiled a little.

"Sure. I don't think that would be a problem," Sam said.

(0)


	139. Chapter 139

After dancing with her new husband Jillian moved into the arms of her father to the strains of I Hope You Dance. As much as she wanted to spend every moment of her life in Daniel's arms, she was much too grateful for the relationship she now shared with her father not to want this once-in-a-lifetime dance.

She also wanted him to know it.

"I'm so glad you're here, Daddy," she said, softly, head ducked, still shy about how to express herself to him after years of politically correct friction.

"I am too, Baby Girl," he answered, "I have to admit I kind of expected to get a note from you someday that said you eloped in a foreign country with someone I'd never even met."

It made her smile a little. She'd never thought she would ever marry at all, but she didn't tell her father that.

"I'm also glad that Daniel seems to be warming up to me finally," Alexander said.

Jillian blinked. "What?"

"It can't have escaped your notice Jillian that Daniel was always a little cool towards me. I never did understand why."

Jillian kept her expression carefully neutral. "For years Dad, Daniel thought you had hurt me. You might have noticed he's a little over-protective."

"I have noticed that," he said, smiling at her with a hint of misty sadness, "It's one of his finer qualities…. I'm sorry if I hurt you, Baby Girl. It was never part of my parenting plan."

"I hurt you too," she answered, "it's all over now, Dad. As Jack O'Neill is fond of saying 'let's not dwell.'" She squeezed his hand, "Daniel doesn't have much experience being part of a family. He wasn't just an only child, he was an only _foster_ child. He doesn't really know what permanence is, outside of the nontraditional family he's gotten with SG1 and now even that's changed. It's really important to me that we all forge that kind of permanence for him. He's always going to be an explorer first. But he wants something stable to come home to as well. I need you to help me make that for him. I want him to have a real family."

Alexander, consummate diplomat and used to listening for the subtext of conversation, the nuance between the words, tilted his head and leaned back to look at her shrewdly.

"And it's just Daniel who needs this?" he asked.

Jillian looked up at him, met his dark gaze frankly. "No," she admitted, "I want it too. I want you in our lives – in the life Daniel and I are going to create." She paused, bit her lower lip for second. "You're going to be the only grandparent our children ever know."

Alexander felt his heart stutter and then throbbed painfully. He had agreed wholeheartedly with Jillian's decision so early in her life to forever beat the disease that had claimed too many of her relatives. He had accepted that, while it meant he never had to lose his beloved daughter, it also meant never seeing a granddaughter with his wife's lovely eyes and brilliant smile. Whatever Daniel and Jillian decided to do about having children, he would embrace his grandchildren with every ounce of love he had to give.

Alexander pressed a kiss lightly against his daughter's forehead.

"I'll be here, Baby Girl," he said, "I promise."

Jillian sighed a little and rested her head on her father's shoulder.

"I wish Mom was here," she admitted, quietly.

"I do too," he answered.

(0)

After dinner but before they cut the cake, Daniel had surprised Jillian by offering her another short, heartfelt speech. He stood up and asked for everyone's attention, which he got immediately.

"There were some things I wanted to say to my wife that I didn't think were appropriate for wedding vows, so if everyone will just indulge me for a moment, I'd like to say them to her now," he had begun hesitantly.

There was a round of laughter and applause. Jillian had looked up at him in surprise and adoration. He touched her cheek briefly with his fingertips.

"Jill, I've always loved learning new things and I have a whole new host of things that I know now because of you. Because of you, I know that there are fourteen varieties of rose that are some version of my name, and by the way, the gardeners are planting part of your wedding present while we're on our honeymoon."

Jillian smiled at him in a way that made the sun seem to rise in everyone's heart. Their guests cheered again. Daniel went on,

"I know that thread count really does matter and air fresheners come in more variety than I ever imagined. I know about the Jiroft culture, in fact I know it existed which is more than I knew before Jillian. I know that the term Scots-Irish temper isn't just a euphemism. I know how to speak Gaelic."

From the first table Jillian's Scottish grandfather, a man with leonine features and snow-white hair, called out, "Tá an ceart sin a dhéanann sé!"

Daniel stopped looking out generally at the guests and flashed a smile at his new grandfather-in-law, "Buíochas a ghabháil leat, Seanathair."

Daniel looked at Jillian again.

"I know how to pick out a tie, finally," and stopped to indicate the one he was currently wearing and say, uncertainly, "Right? This one is good?"

"It's perfect," she assured him unnecessarily, smiling in a silly, affectionate way.

Daniel shared one his rare, unguarded, genuine smiles and went on. "I know that it's possible to fall in love over and over again with the same person, sometimes in the same hour, sometimes moment to moment. Even in those spaces between seconds, I don't know what they're called, though I bet Sam could tell me, I fall in love with Jillian again and again.

"Because of Jillian I know what it is to be loved unconditionally, something I never thought was possible. I go _home_ now and not just back to a house. I know that I want morning noon and night with her; that I want her laughter and her smiles and her tears in my life. Jillian, just because I am not forever at your side doesn't mean that isn't precisely where I want to be. Because of you I know now that I only ever had one thought, one need; and that _is_ you."

Daniel stopped talking finally and they gazed each other with such uncontained joy that it spilled across their guests and the quiet Minnesota afternoon like a blanket. There was a sound of approval and scattered applause.

Jillian stood up, put her hand on Daniel's shoulder and pressed until he sat down again.

"All right since you got to do that, I get to do this," she said. "You usually don't like it, but it's my day too. This is my song for you. It always has been."

Without background music or accompaniment of any kind, Jillian sang in her clear, beautiful contralto,

"Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From glen to glen, and down the mountain side

The summer's gone, and all the roses falling

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and I must bide.

But come ye back when summer's in the meadow

Or when the valley's hushed and white with snow

'Tis I'll be here in sunshine or in shadow

Oh Danny boy, oh Danny boy, I love you so."

She paused to take a breath and let her voice fall to a hushed and reverent whisper, as if she was offering him something utterly sacred,

"Oh, Danny boy….

Oh, Danny boy…. I love you so."

By the time she finished there wasn't a dry eye in the room, including Daniel's. From a side table, Scotty Lawrence hollered,

"Kiss her, Dr. Jackson!"

Daniel stood up so fast he nearly knocked over his chair, gathered his new bride in his arms and kissed her. Love poured from them. It was a slow golden flow of emotion, like honey being poured in the sun. Their love flooded everyone in a way that seemed to bend time and space around them.

When they parted, they were smiling, laughing and all their guests were cheering.

(0)

Tá an ceart sin a dhéanann sé! - He speaks Gaelic very well.

Buíochas a ghabháil leat, Seanathair – Thank you, Grandfather.


	140. Chapter 140

Jillian woke in misty half-light. There was a tropical breeze blowing through the side of the bedroom they had opened the night before, billowing curtains and teasing the mosquito netting around the bed.

She didn't immediately process what was wrong and then realized she was alone in the coming dawn.

_Daniel._ For one wild moment that lasted an eternity, Jillian was certain that she had dreamed the entire last year of her life and woken up into a world where Daniel was still Ascended and Teal'c had never come to take her home.

She sat up and looked around frantically seeking his familiar form. She finally saw him standing out on the deck with his back to her. There was no relief from the panic in that. She had seen Daniel when he was Ascended. Just because he was out there didn't mean anything had changed.

She pushed back the sheets and grabbed her short silk robe from the floor. There was a certain amount of comfort in the fabric as it settled around her and she belted it tight. She'd bought the robe on a shopping trip with Sam, for her honeymoon here in the Caribbean with Daniel. Unless she had dreamed that too, maybe the last year of her life really _had_ happened and she had Daniel back in her life.

Barefoot and wearing nothing but the robe she went first to the on suite bathroom to splash cold water on her face and use some of the minty mouthwash in the medicine cabinet.

Then she walked across the teakwood floors and joined Daniel on the deck.

He was wearing only a loose-fitting pair of soft cotton pajama bottoms, naked from the hips up and without his glasses. In the predawn light there was little to see except for the black, star strewn sky and the even blacker expanse of ocean below it.

Jillian slipped her arm around his waist and exhaled in relief. She pressed against his side and basked in his body heat and the regular rhythm of his breathing, the comfortable and familiar muscle and curve that leaned towards her and the drape of the arm that went naturally around her shoulders after he had transferred his coffee cup to his other hand.

He pressed a kiss against her hair, paused and then said,

"You're shaking. Are you cold?"

The negative feedback loop in her head that was insisting this was all a dream wouldn't stop playing.

"No," her hair whispered against his skin when she shook her head. "I just…..I got scared."

Daniel set the coffee cup on the deck railing and turned to gather her into his arms. Jillian sank into them gratefully.

"_I'm_ the one who gets bad dreams," he said, "That's part of the contract."

"It wasn't a dream," she said, "I woke up and you weren't there."

"We wake up alone a lot, Jillian,' he reminded her, "If we manage to go to sleep alone in the first place."

"I spent a lot of time alone here, Daniel. Sometimes sleeping and mostly not," she answered.

Daniel went completely still, holding her loosely for a moment before tightening his arms protectively. She had run to this place and the comfort of the sea when they had been separated by different planes of existence and an ocean of stars.

He'd been an _idiot_ to let her wake up alone. It would take far less to bring back the memories of that time.

Unbidden he suddenly heard Teal'c's voice in his head.

_Your death broke her into a million pieces, Daniel Jackson. You should try not to do that to her again._

Daniel tucked her under his chin, braced his feet apart so that she could stand even closer to him and held on tight.

"I can't make you those kinds of promises, Jillian. I can only promise you that I will try to be careful. I want a lifetime with you. I love you."

Jillian leaned back and looked up at him and he realized her lashes were wet and her forest-green eyes were hidden in darkness. Daniel looked away for a moment, too much of a freaking coward to face the fear and memory in those eyes.

He forced himself to look back, dragged courage up from the depths of his love for her. He laid his hand on her jaw, fingers pressing into the space behind her ear. He wanted to give her an entirely new set of memories, something far removed from the heartbreaking dreams she had tried to leave on these shores.

Jillian looked up into eyes the color of the desert sky and the Caribbean Sea. He was gazing her calmly, apologetically and a little hesitantly. His thumb smoothed across her lower lip. A shift of weight brought him closer and he lowered his head slightly. His thumb stroked again and Jillian's lips parted. He tilted her head up, just a little, leaned down and she felt his warm, slightly coffee-flavored breath on her mouth. He paused, waiting for her to move.

It had been a long time since he had asked for permission to kiss her.

She closed her eyes and gave Daniel her mouth. The first press of lips was exploratory, almost chaste. Daniel held it for a moment and then his eyes also slid closed. He teased her upper lip, then took the lower one between his with soft, stroking tugs. His tongue traced delicately just inside before he pressed forward, opened his mouth further to slide his tongue against hers.

A soft, aroused sigh left Jillian and a low sound of pleasure came out of Daniel. The kiss became deep and erotic, a slow sweep of tongues and though Daniel was trying to be gentle it was unmistakably masculine and possessive. There was a light scratch of morning beard against her skin. It sent a sweet warmth through their bodies, a slow but insistent arousal.

It lasted a long time before Daniel drew back with a last soft, once-again chaste press of lips. The hand cradling her face remained. His other hand was holding her lower back pressed against him.

The blue eyes gazing at her now were dilated nearly to black, full of desire and the same hesitancy he had shown before, a wordless inquiry.

Jillian gazed back at him in confusion. Was he wondering if being here had given her second thoughts? He had to know how much she loved him. After all this time he had to _know_ how she felt.

"Come back to bed," she said, softly.

"I thought we were going to St. Croix today. You wanted to dive Buck Island."

Jillian tilted her head to indicate the sky that was just now starting to lighten with streaks of pink and coral.

"The day hasn't even started yet," she said, "I think I want to make love to my husband more than I want to dive, especially right at the moment."

Daniel didn't move towards the bedroom however. He lowered his head and nuzzled the skin where her neck curved into her shoulder. His chin and cheek scratched her shoulder a little.

"Maybe we should have gone to P2X-8912 for our honeymoon," he murmured.

"I didn't want to honeymoon in a mud hut, Daniel," she said, trying not to smile.

"Clay bricks," he corrected, still nuzzling and kissing and licking sensitive skin. "Babylonian style, like the civilizations along the Tigris and Euphrates."

Jillian shivered a little as her body responded to his ministrations and the hot, sexy sound of his voice.

"Or we could have gone to PK4-692," he went on. His hand had slipped over her hip and the dip in her waist to cup her breast through the silk fabric.

"Yurts," she said, "No privacy."

She pushed her hips tighter against his and felt the movement as his cock began to fill, straighten, and lengthen under the thin cotton. Jillian's hands slipped down the column of his back to the curve of his utterly outstanding buttocks - hard muscle and just the right amount of flesh to create perfection. She stroked her palms over each rounded cheek, rubbing and kneading through cotton, whimpering a little as she ground against his erection.

In response, Daniel developed an absolute _fascination_ with the feeling of silk robe against her breasts and the way his mouth could lick and suck and kiss every possible erotic place on her body within reach.

His hands dropped to the belt on her robe and untied it with deliberate delicacy while his mouth ravished hers. Jillian suspected that he was trying to be gentle - the way he had been ever since the first night they had spent as husband and wife, as if being married made her suddenly fragile. She leaned into him, into his chest and hips and groin and got her right hand between them to stroke his cock, oh, so tenderly. He groaned into her neck and his hips gave an involuntary thrust.

Having gone from thinking that he was gone to being confronted with the shocking immediate reality of him, Jillian was suddenly desperate for more contact, more sensation, more of everything that was _Daniel._ For the last eight years she had watched as he changed into the confident, masculine sexy man that he was – and now he was hers.

He turned them so that she was up against the deck railing with the sunset starting to blaze and the constant rhythm of the ocean rolling to the shore behind her. She liked it, liked having him hold her there, and she liked that he didn't seem to be able to stop from pushing her robe open and running firm, broad hands up over her ribs to dance briefly around her breasts before finally touching them.

"Daniel," she gasped and tried to say more, tried to tell him what she wanted but she couldn't seem to do more than push and stroke and hold.

She gasped again and then inhaled sharply when he dropped abruptly to his knees, onto the hard wooden deck, took her by the hips and used his arms to keep her robe out of the way.

His mouth was hot and wet and artful as he stroked into her intimately; so insistent, so eagerly, his tongue twisting and stroking. His fingers parted her lips, he was fast and rough and she was wet and aching, her back against the hard wooden railing and all her concentration on Daniel's tongue slipping, sliding, roughly penetrating, licking her, teasing and touching until he drove her into orgasm, standing up with one hand fisted in his hair and the other clutching the railing.

Jillian wasn't certain she would ever recover. She sagged, sated, into his arms as he stood up, holding her and moving his cock against her hip in slow, seductive strokes, the velvet length of him against her skin, the tip hitting the curved bone, rubbing damp fabric. Jillian put her arms around his neck and clung to him. It seemed impossible that she could become aroused again so quickly.

Maybe she had just never quite come down.

Or maybe she was filled with just enough adrenaline to want to make him feel exactly what she had just felt.

She let go of his shoulders and let her weight settle on her feet, slightly surprised to find that her legs weren't still shaking too hard to hold her up. Her fingers found the waistband of his pajama bottoms and tugged them down sharply.

Daniel shuddered when the tropical air hit his bare, fevered skin but he eagerly let the pants fall and stepped out of them. Jillian put a hand in the center of his chest and urged him backwards to one of the many wide, comfortable chaise lounges.

He settled back in a semi-reclining position, prepared to pull her down on top of him but she shook her head and murmured, "Mmm-nnn" as she kneed his legs apart to kneel between them.

She leaned back to look at him for a moment, her eyes gliding over him.

Naked and aroused he was the beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life.

He put his feet on the floor on either side of the chaise and watched her through slitted eyes. Her hands slid up his body and then down again, slowly to his thighs and back up, leaning over to nip and lick at his skin, letting her breasts glide over him teasingly. Her mouth found his shoulder in a way that was going to leave marks before moving on to one nipple and then the other. Daniel groaned, arched, wove his fingers into her hair and clenched.

When she moved down to tonguing his navel, Daniel got a sudden really good idea what she had in mind. He arched involuntarily and, impossibly, got harder.

Jillian closed her mouth over his cock while lightly stroking the fragile muscles that formed the dip beside his hip bones and he felt orgasm surge up. He put his hand on her head and asked her to stay still for a moment while he controlled it. She complied, though her tongue continued to tease him in little tender flicks.

He relaxed and let go of her and then he got the arms of the chaise in a death grip and surrendered to her.

Jillian took him in deeply, sucking with an intense tenderness, then drew up to tease his head with a tongue tip, lips ringing his shaft just below the ridge. Daniel started making sounds, soul-grateful for the isolation of the beach house. He was rarely quiet during sex but they hadn't done this in a long time. So sounds worked out his throat and chest, embarrassing sounds, sounds that didn't need words to explain how good it was, how unbearably, _amazingly_ good. He utterly lost the shape of words. Jillian teased him for a while longer; slid up and down a few times, a long, slick slide of lips and tongue; and then closed her mouth hot and wet on the head of Daniel's cock and sucked him beautifully.

She pulled away carefully, leaving him damp and panting. Their eyes locked and she smiled in a sexy, pleased erotic way. Putting her hands on his muscled legs she brought them up onto the chaise, straddled him and very,very slowly lowered her body onto his erection.

Daniel grunted, shifted, used his hands on her hips to put her where he wanted. When she settled all the way down his head arched back for a moment, his eyes closed in bliss. Given the position he couldn't do much to set the pace but he gave it up to her. Jillian moved slowly at first, sliding up and down, and then faster, twisting to tease him from every angle. His fingers were going to leave marks in her hips but she didn't care. His groans were like music, like applause. She could feel him struggling to push up into her, trying to match her rhythm. His lower back was curled up. The muscles in his chest and legs were tight and corded.

_Daniel_. God, how much she loved him, was in love with him, had always loved him and would always love him.

Incredibly it was Jillian who began to push over the edge first. She froze for an instant, balanced lightly, her fingertips on his chest.

"_Oh god, baby,_" she whispered.

She was melting, unable to stay upright so she collapsed onto him.

Daniel's arms came up around her, tight and protective as she dissolved into convulsions.

Clinging to him, sobbing, Jillian came as if she was having a seizure of ecstasy. It drove Daniel half out of his mind with sensation. He erupted into wrenching spasms. A harsh startled shout left him that he muffled in Jillian's hair. He came and came until fluid backwashed and ran down over his balls and legs and he was clutching Jillian to him in soft, cherished fierceness, locking her in the sinuous muscular strength of him.

They climaxed together in waves, driven to the edge of what they could process consciously and every moment said _I love you, I love you, baby, oh god so much….._

Bodies and souls sighing with pleasure, they stayed there a long time. Jillian rested on Daniel, boneless, still a little turned on, knowing that if he teased her even a little she'd melt back into groaning mindlessness. It seemed sometimes that Daniel could keep her climaxing forever.

"Still want to go back to bed?" Daniel's voice was shaking. His lips kissed the sensitive place behind her ear just because he could reach it.

"Yeah," she murmured.

"Still want to sail out to Buck Island?"

Jillian lifted off him slightly. The rising sun cast her in shades of ruby and gold and Daniel inhaled a little, his breath catching at how beautiful she was.

"I think the island can wait," she said, softly

Then her mouth came down on his in a kiss of sweet, slow, tenderness and it was a long time before they spoke again.

(0)


	141. Chapter 141

He was working too hard on the Atlantis project and he knew it. Jillian had left him hours before to seek the small bed in their Antarctic outpost's small quarters; then he had woken up with his face mashed into a pile of printouts and his glasses pushed up to his forehead the way he used to wake up as a college kid asleep in his research notes.

He adjusted his glasses, stood and stretched and then left the lab. It was about 1am and it was very quiet. He didn't pass anyone on his way to the communal bathroom facility they shared with everyone else who was temporarily assigned the outpost. The shower was deserted as well. He washed up, changed into clean sweats, brushed his teeth, bundled his old clothes and went to his quarters.

She was asleep with the nightlight on. He heard the slightest change in her breathing that meant she had shifted into a lighter mode of sleep, attuned to him, waiting to see if he would go to the small desk and turn on the small light so that he could continue working or maybe come to bed but turn the bedside light on low so that he could read before falling asleep.

Daniel dropped his old clothes on the floor and shed his sweats between the door and the bed. He'd get in trouble with her in the morning for the mess that should be in the popup hamper in the corner but at the moment he didn't care. He slid into bed – which was really two smaller beds they had pushed together. Jillian made a contented sound and turned to offer him her sleep-softened, sleep-warm body, making sure the covers were pulled up over him as she did.

It was heaven. It was the sweetest part of his life, being able to come to her like this, falling asleep knowing that he'd wake up to her in the morning. It wasn't even close to a normal domestic living arrangement at the moment but when had they ever had that. Daniel's sigh of deep contentment was genuine, as he fitted himself around the length of Jillian's body, slid his leg over her legs, settled into comfort and warmth and the unconditional love of his wife for a few hours of precious, private intimacy before they went back to work.

His wife…. He loved that. He _loved _that. She was a gift, a treasure. Just being able to introduce her as his wife brought a flood of warm feeling racing over him. The amazed, slightly jealous, slightly put-off look on McKay's face when he had met Jillian and learned she was married to Daniel made him realize all over again how incredible she was.

He was hard, instantly hard at the feel of her body against him and around him and the feel of her hands gliding over his hip and waist to rest on his chest. He shifted forward and Jillian made a low sound of appreciative surprise. She pulled one leg out from under his and put it over his hip, snuggling closer, which made him harder, and the responsive heat and moisture his cock encountered made him grow even harder. She tilted her face to his and they found each other's mouths, and he slid into her with one smooth movement, and they ground against each other and tongued and moaned and kneaded, his body squeezed tight and swollen in the channel of heat and desire and ecstasy the thrust of their bodies made.

And it was _so_ incredible, he was coming, _oh god_ he was coming….. _fuck_… so good, no way to stop it or prolong it, the sweet unbearable rush of completion, Jillian gasped into his mouth and then climaxed just a heartbeat behind him…

Then the even greater pleasure of falling limp against each other, sinking deep into each other's presence and warmth and dreams; and Daniel had to fight hard through the thoughts that threaded through those dreams like a thirst he was trying to slake, the yearning need he couldn't ever unarticulated:

_There's so much more I want to do for you, do to you, do with you, we're married now and you're mine and you should be first in everything but there's always something….._

They had gone from an idyllic, isolated, utterly private honeymoon in a tropical paradise to being buried under the Antarctic ice. Their temporary reassignment paperwork had been waiting for them on Jack's desk the moment they returned to the SGC. Daniel had been delighted that the international talks had finally broken past all the ridiculous logjams. He was less delighted about being sent there. His insistence on going to the Ancient outpost had been focused almost entirely on saving Jack. When that had no longer been necessary he had been unwilling to give up his position on SG1 to pursue the outpost any further.

But it made sense. Jillian was the only one who came even close to understanding Ancient as well as he did, in spite of how hard he drove the rest of his staff to learn. Jack might have the Ancient gene but he and Jillian seemed to have a natural affinity for the language.

Then again, they had a natural affinity for all languages.

So here they were and he was driving both of them too hard in an effort to drain this outpost of every scrap of information it had to offer.

When it was over, he would make it up to her. When it was over, he would make sure they spent more than just a few precious moments between being awake and being asleep completely on each other.

(0)

When Jillian woke up, Daniel was still deeply asleep. That was unusual enough since he needed far fewer hours sleep than she did. Even when he came to bed in the wee small hours he was awake before her. She studied him carefully, without moving. He must have fallen into a semi-coma the moment his eyes closed last night and his body was now trying to cram all the REM sleep it could into the time it had left.

Which meant he might wake up on a disorientation scale of ten plus. Since she didn't want to get annoyed with him for being in a crappy mood that was entirely his own fault for not coming to bed at a decent hour, Jillian leaned over and gently kissed the corner of his mouth. If she kissed his cheek or forehead that might wake him, but for some reason the touch of her lips on his always seemed to make him sleep more peacefully. The kiss reminded her how much she loved this man who could be such an utter pain the ass at times.

She got up, quietly dressed in the puddle of illumination made by the nightlight, and gathered the trail of clothing on the floor to toss it in the hamper. Then she started the coffee maker on the folding table in the corner and then went to find them some breakfast. The smell of coffee brewing would most likely wake him before she returned.

She went to the commissary the Army Corp of Engineers had installed for the international team of scientists currently crawling all over the Ancient outpost. There were scrambled eggs, toast, sausage and oatmeal for breakfast and she made up a tray with enough food for both of them.

On her way back to their room Jillian's thoughts strayed again to the place she had not been able to stop them from going for days. Sooner or later, Daniel was going to figure out how to get to Atlantis, or at least to another outpost. The idea had her filled with a sense of urgency she had felt all the way up until Dr. Ballard had ruined her dreams of finding the Titanic.

_Atlantis._ She'd give nearly anything to go. But she wouldn't leave Daniel and she was absolutely certain that Jack wouldn't send Daniel; unless Daniel pestered him about it the way only Daniel could.

The only question, then, was getting Daniel to ask in the first place. They had a lot going on, right here on Earth.

She decided to broach the subject as soon as he had swallowed some food and coffee and see if she could get a read on how he felt about it.

(0)

Daniel was up and dressed and standing by the table with a mug of coffee when she got back. There was a frown of concentration marring the space between his brows and his eyes were narrowed with the disorientation she had expected.

Jillian didn't say anything. She just walked across the room, put the tray on the table and started putting plates on it. Daniel put the coffee mug down and came up behind her, put both arms around her and pressed a long, lingering series of kisses against her neck in a silent thank you. Jillian shivered all over in an involuntary response, and Daniel smiled against her skin in an equally unstoppable response. The dark cloud of his pointless irritated mood lifted in that instant.

Jillian watched him sit down and sigh with content at the pile of food. When Daniel got wrapped up in something the way he was with Atlantis he often skipped food altogether. She watched him eat for a little while and then said, "Daniel," and immediately winced because it sounded like she was about to try to talk him into something and he would know it.

He paused to chew and swallow some toast and then follow it with some coffee.

"Yeah?"

"We're really close to figuring out how to use the Gate to get to another outpost, aren't we? Maybe even Atlantis . Yes?"

"Well I don't know how close," he said, "but we've got a partial address, so it should be soon. Why?"

Jillian leaned closer. "What if you did find a way to get to Atlantis itself?"

Daniel used the side of his fork to break off a section of eggs and speared a piece of sausage with it.

"What if I did?" he asked, and shoveled the forkful into his mouth, watching her intently as he chewed.

Jillian leaned a little closer still. "What would it take to get you to ask Jack if we could go?"

"GO?" Daniel asked, "To Atlantis? Leave Earth?"

"Daniel, it's _Atlantis."_

"Well I know that," he said, "But Jill we've got so much going on here. Just in our personal lives we're bogged down! We just started the pool you spent months talking me into. The Goa'uld are still out there. Anubis is still out there – and you _know_ how much I want to get Anubis. The Replicators. What about the Asgard? We have no idea when they're coming and I kind of risked a lot asking them to help us have a family."

"I know all that, but I think we can work around it, especially the Asgard. They can find us anywhere we are, I'm sure," she said, "Daniel, it's _Atlantis."_

"So?"

"So what would it take to get you to ask Jack if we can go?"

Daniel looked down at his plate and then when he looked back up his eyes were sultry, velvety blue and he said in the lowest bedroom voice he possessed, "What are you offering?"

The academic part of her brain said, _whatever you want you beloved pain in the ass_ while the entire rest of her body reacted to the liquid seduction in his eyes.

"We can start with a full body massage, after I slowly strip you out of whatever you're wearing. I know how tense you've been," she said, dragging out her own sexy-voice-of-persuasion. "Then your choice – blow job, hand job, both if you want, at the same time if you want, to continue until which time as you are reduced to inarticulate pleading and then…"

She paused to put some strawberry jam on her toast and slowly took a bite. Daniel continued staring at her with a feral light gleaming in his eyes, still chewing the mouthful he could have swallowed several moments earlier.

He tried to wait her out and then cracked, "And then?"

"I strip for you, down to whichever undergarment you prefer, slowly."

Daniel managed to swallow the overly chewed mouthful and another chug of coffee. His next words were deliberately cavalier but the way his eyes were dilating belied the indifference.

"Is this before or after you cook me dinner?"

"After," she said, instantly, "with my fudge brownies for desert."

"When you're stripping, is there middle Eastern dance involved?" he asked.

She shrugged and gave him a saucy smile. "Of course; and you've never seen the costume I brought back with me from Egypt."

He knew Jillian could do any number of ethnic dances, commonly called belly dancing. She often did some of the moves for him in bed, riding him when he was deep inside her.

But she had never actually danced for him and how this had escaped his attention for the last five years he wasn't sure.

Daniel put his fork down on his plate, reached across the table and grabbed her wrist. He tugged her sideways, drawing her out of her chair and around the table. As she came towards him he pushed back from the table and pulled her into his lap.

His lips met hers in a kiss that tasted of coffee and sugar and cream.

"You pay off even if Jack says no?" he asked, nuzzling, licking.

"Yes," she said, breathlessly turned on.

Daniel pulled back for a moment and looked into her eyes, "Because he's going to say no."

Jillian nodded and then pressed back in for another kiss. In the midst of that kiss she became aware that he was smiling, almost laughing. His arms were around her tightly and he was making soft, self-satisfied noises.

There was some part of her brain still working, the part that knew her husband very _very _well. It had been just a little too easy.

Jillian pushed away, jumped to her feet and cried, "Daniel Jackson! You manipulative _bastard."_

The fact that she was trying not to laugh undermined the outrage she was trying to portray.

Daniel looked up with attempted innocence, laughter mixed with the lust in his eyes.

"What?"

"Oh don't _even,"_ she said. "You _want _to go. You were going to ask Jack all along weren't you?"

Daniel held out for the space another few heartbeats and then started laughing. "Yes! I was trying to figure out what to offer _you_ to go with me! Here I was regretting giving in on the pool before thinking about using it was leverage…. Who knew you were going to offer me the best night of my life to get what I really wanted all along?"

He stopped talking when Jillian's gaze slid away from his and he got a flash of his own realization.

"All those things you offered to do…. You _want_ to do them," he said, bluntly.

"Well, yeah," she shrugged again, "Most of them I've already done and I know how to do them until I really do have you pleading. The dancing… I've wanted to…. But…."

Her voice trailed off and she looked at the floor.

"After everything we've done to and with and for each other, _dancing_ for me makes you shy?" Daniel asked, incredulous.

"What if you don't like it?" she asked.

Daniel stared at her, at his beautiful, fragile, beloved wife who could turn him on with a glance.

"Not a chance," he said, pulling her back into his lap.

They kissed for a while, until hands started wandering and their breakfast grew cold.

"What would it take to get you into bed right now?" she asked, with her mouth sucking hard on the join of his neck and shoulder.

Daniel didn't answer. He just stood up, taking her with him. Clothes hit the floor with astounding speed.

Daniel sat down on the bed and put his back against the wall, stretching his legs out in front of him. He drew her down and got her to straddle him. Putting his hands on her hips he pressed lightly and said,

"Dance for me."

(0)


	142. Chapter 142

**Tag to Atlantis: Rising**

From the lab, bent over the computer printouts that had been downloaded from the outpost's data base, Daniel and Jillian could hear the voices of Elizabeth Weir and Rodney Mckay coming closer, walking down the hall in their direction, getting louder.

McKay, as usual, had his pants twisted about something. His voice was high and reedy, whining in that way that grated on Daniel's nerves.

"I just think that…you know…from a scientific point of view, one test is never conclusive and if we could do it again then we might find that there was a flaw in the first test."

"I understand how badly you want to interface with the Ancient technology, Rodney," Weir said, reasonably," but we have limited resources."

"But you yourself said that we need every possible person tested and I feel very strongly that the negative tests should be performed twice just in case of error."

They had reached the door of the lab and Daniel held his breath for a moment but then they moved passed and their voices started fading again.

"All right, Rodney. We'll test you again," Weir said.

"Yes!" Rodney sounded triumphant. Daniel waited to see if he'd hear any kind of thank you but there was only silence after that.

Daniel had kept his focus squarely on the paper in front of him, hunched over, perched on the edge of a metal stool; but now he looked up at Jillian.

She was sitting across from him, with her own gaze on the papers in front of her. She looked like she was just concentrating on her work but he could see the line of tension in her jaw and the furrow between the delicate slash of her eyebrows.

"He didn't come in," Daniel pointed out, mildly.

Jillian didn't lift her head, but raised her eyes to look at him over the top of her reading glasses and muttered darkly, "Good_. Wàngbāgāozi_."

"Jill," Daniel chastised her gently; "He's one of our coworkers."

"He's stationed in the same place at the moment. That doesn't make him one of _my_ coworkers." She looked back at her papers with an air of having ended the conversation.

Daniel resisted a heavy sigh. Jillian despised Rodney McKay and to be honest, Daniel was just this side of wanting to push the guy off a cliff too.

But he could hardly crusade across the galaxy trying to find peaceful solutions to every problem and then fail miserably at home when confronted with McKay.

The nuance seemed lost on Jillian.

She had never forgiven Rodney for his cavalier attitude about Teal'c and his willingness to let the Jaffa be lost in the Star Gate. She had also never forgiven him for his sexist and rude comments to Sam and while she was still holding a grudge over it, Jillian was willing to let Sam fight her own battles when it came to Rodney.

But the thing about Teal'c was just never going to go away.

"I'm not sure why Rodney gets a pass with you," Jillian said, "He endangered Teal'c."

"The Star Gate endangered Teal'c. Rodney just didn't have anything invested in getting him back," Daniel answered.

"Exactly," Jillian said.

Daniel expected her to keep going but they had apparently run into one of those male/female disconnects where this made perfect sense to her and he was staring at a blank wall. He looked at her for a long time. She was irresistibly cuddly looking in her layers of black polar fleece, her turtle neck tucked up under her chin. Daniel's first home was the SGC and he hated being here in the cold, surrounded by ice. But the uniforms were infinitely more appealing.

"He's been halfway decent since we got here, not a complete moron anyway," Daniel pointed out, still seeking peace, at least with his wife.

Now Jillian did look up and he could see the spark in the back of her eyes. Daniel sat up straighter, like one of Jillian's beloved prairie dogs sensing danger. The spark was a 'Scottish temper' alert, the only warning he usually got.

She smiled – that really scary smile that made all the hair on his arms stand up. Jack had told him that Daniel had one just like that, a smile that was really coldly terrible. Daniel didn't believe him.

"That's only because he knows if he says one thing to me that's out of line, I'll drop him on his ass so fast his head will explode," she said. "Sam might have to watch how she reacts to a civilian. I don't."

Daniel locked eyes with his wife.

"If he says one thing out of line to you, you'll have to beat me to him," he told her in a voice edged with razors and sharp, pointy things.

Jillian appeared to consider that and then her smile became small and warm and much happier. The spark of anger in her eyes died and became the hot spark of love he was used to.

Daniel relaxed but only slightly. He'd managed to please his wife and the dark cloud of her anger at McKay had lifted. In all fairness, Rodney had been sitting on his last nerve for days as well; and he wasn't above baiting the guy. He'd run into Rodney earlier when he had gone to the commissary in search of more coffee. Rodney had been there, with his superior smirk and condescending attitude and snarky comments centered on how long it had taken Daniel and Jillian to appear that morning.

"So, did you two enjoy sleeping in?" he'd asked.

Daniel had studied him for a moment, with his hands wrapped around the coffee mug because that was considerably safer than having them wrapped around McKay's neck. He'd taken the time to drink from the mug, swallow deliberately and then said, "What makes you think we were sleeping?"

Then he'd sauntered out of the room.

But not before he saw McKay's jaw drop a little, which meant Rodney had gotten the message.

_Screw you….._

Over the years Daniel had perfected being polite. He had being polite so refined he could flay skin with it; and he found it easy to hide in language, to bend words to his will. Words offered him so much opportunity for distraction and double meaning. It was one of the reasons he loved words so much.

His respect for Jillian and what they had together prevented him from saying more. He felt slightly guilty about it but not enough to tell her what he had said.

And damn it, McKay reminded him of all those people who had treated Daniel like an inferior.

And Daniel had just spent a morning of pure heaven with the most beautiful woman on the Base (or anywhere else for that matter.) Let McKay and his arrogant superiority stew on that for a while.

All those thoughts had gone through his head while he was scanning the print out in front of him for the clues and hints and images that would help him find the Lost City.

Then he read something that made him stop thinking of anything.

Then he read it again.

"Jill," he said, drawing her name out slowly with his eyes still fixed on the page.

"What?" she asked, anxiously.

"I need you to check a translation for me."

Jillian sat completely still for a moment. "You need _me_ to check one of _your _translations?"

"Yes."

"Have you suffered a head injury or something?"

Daniel looked up and frowned, with a little voice in his head asking if they'd just hit one of those male/female things again.

"What? No. Just, come here, would you?"

Jillian came around the table and imposed herself between Daniel and the table, wiggling until she was between his knees. He wrapped his arms around her, not from affection, but because he was still a little stunned by what he had just read and he needed an anchor.

Jillian relaxed back against him as she read; then stiffened a little and then she stood up so suddenly she almost pulled out of his arms.

"Daniel," she sounded stunned.

She turned and stared into his eyes.

"So it does say what I think it says?"

"But it's not possible! Plato describes Atlantis as an island between 250,000 and 500,000 square miles. There's no way that… that something that big just lifted up and…and…."

Jillian's hands moved helplessly.

"Flew away?" Daniel asked.

"Yes!"

"What if the whole island didn't? Plato also describes a mountain and a city built upon it."

"He also says Atlantis disappeared into the sea."

"Atlantis, the island. But if what we're reading is true, the city didn't," Daniel paused, dropped his hands to her hips and looked up at her with the light of pure discovery in his eyes. "Jillian, how many exegetical problems exist in the original Greek text? How many words are just not translated because no one knows what they are?"

"Point given," she said, falling into scientific debate mode. "So what do we do with this information?"

"We keep it to ourselves for now," Daniel said, "We need more evidence than a scrap of paper only the two of us can read."

They continued to stare into each other's eyes for a moment, breathing with the same rhythm. It was the intellectual high they shared, like great sex, the same give-and-take, the same push-and-pull, the same escalating mini-climaxes, the same euphoria and challenge and deep contentment to discovery. It was a kind of accidental happiness, because neither of them had expected to ever meet the other, or find someone to share this part of their lives. They had loved each other for half a decade but they never quite felt as much in love with each other as they did in moments like this.

"Atlantis," Jillian breathed out slowly.

"Yeah," Daniel answered.

Then he pulled her in for a long, slow, deep, wet kiss.

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	143. Chapter 143

**The next few chapters are short tags to some of the early shows of season 8. The first episodes seem like low budget 'bottle' shows designed to save money for the two parters at the end. Beautifully acted, especially Avatar. (Who doesn't love "I'll do it" in three part harmony?)**

They removed the connectors that had Daniel attached to the chair and he stepped out of it, wincing and rubbing his forehead with his eyes closed.

The next thing he knew someone had barreled into him and from the arms that wrapped around him and the feel of the body pressed to his, it could only be Jillian.

She was back early from P3K-573 and even as his arms folded around her automatically he winced a little more. He had hoped to have this over and be back in the lab before he saw her, even though he didn't think he had been in any real danger.

"I can't even leave you here without you getting into trouble," she said into his ear. Her breath floated across his skin and he felt lighter.

All the tension left him and he felt warm and secure, wrapped in something sweet and dear. Daniel chuckled a little, squeezed hard and then put his hands on her arms to stand her back from him. She was still wearing her desert fatigues. There were tiny grains of sand in glistening in her hair and she smelled vaguely of desert winds.

She was gazing at him anxiously.

He had promised to stay close to home, after the incident on Tegalus, to give her a break from the stress of never quite knowing where he was.

Up until now he'd been pretty good at it, though he didn't expect it to last.

"Who told you?"

"An unnamed source who wishes to remain anonymous," Jillian answered.

"Smart man," Daniel answered. "But I wasn't in trouble! Teal'c was."

Jillian indicated the chair.

"You didn't die in there?" she asked.

He frowned a little and managed to look contrite. "A few times but only a little bit and just for a few seconds."

Daniel grinned at her then, the grin that crinkled his nose and the corners of his eyes and he was pretty sure made her heart melt. Jillian tried to frown back at him and succeeded only in starting to laugh.

Relieved he hugged her until she wiggled away and looked at Teal'c.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

Dr. Carmichael was still fussing over Teal'c a little and the Jaffa was tolerating it with infinite patience.

"I am well, Jillian Jackson," he said, and nodded at Daniel, "Thanks to your husband."

When Jillian looked back at Daniel he could tell that she was proud of him, if still a little exasperated, and that she loved him and for a moment he kind of regretted that _this_ was their normal; but did it really matter if they both came home to the other, safe and sound?

He put his arm around her waist and steered her out of the room, hugging her against his side.

"So what did you find on 573?" he asked, hesitating a little.

She tilted her head up and grinned with such mischief that he felt his stomach clench. Ut-oh.

"Oh, just over that little rise in front of the Star Gate? The one we could see on the MALP? We found the remains of a settlement that appears to be similar to the Neo-Hittite Kingdom of Patina…"

Daniel stopped walking abruptly and turned around to face her.

"What?"

The mischief in her eyes got deeper.

"Yep," she said, "which mean you have to pay up."

"I haven't examined the ruins yet!"

"I brought pictures," she said. "There's an amazing statue buried in the sand but most of it is showing, buildings, other statuary, a fountain…."

His eyes narrowed.

"You said we wouldn't find anything and if we did you would cook dinner for me," Jillian reminded him, "So I debrief in an hour and then we can go home. Whatcha making?"

Daniel sighed in defeat and started walking again.

"Chili?"

"Out of a can?" Jillian sounded horrified.

"I'll make corn bread to go with it?"

"From that mix that you just add water?"

"No! There's another mix where you have to add eggs too."

"Oh complicated." Jillian rolled her eyes theatrically. "Do you remember what I made for you after the last bet I lost?"

"Steaks on the grill, baked potatoes, green beans with little almond slivers, apple pie and a bottle of red wine," Daniel answered instantly.

"And I'm getting a bowl of canned chili after finding a connection to the Hittites?"

Daniel looked at her sideways. "I'll do the coleslaw from scratch."

"With dressing out of a jar?"

"I can make it from scratch if you insist," he said. "Come on. I just saved the SGC from certain annihilation. I'm kind of tired."

Jillian pretended to frown at him and then grinned again, eyes dancing. "We'll have to stop at the store to pick up a bottle of wine to go with that, a nice Zinfandel I think."

Daniel looked puzzled. "Most people drink beer with chili, don't they?"

"We don't like beer, in general," she reminded him.

Daniel sighed. It was kind of another way they weren't like 'most people.'

They continued down the hall for a little bit in silence and then he said, almost longingly,

"Neo-Hittite Kingdom of Patina? Really?"

"Relax. Jack will let you go study it. I'll take you and let you see it for yourself."

"I'll hold you to that," he said, slipping his arm around her waist again.

"So what are you making for desert?" she asked.

Daniel just groaned.

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	144. Chapter 144

**Tag to Covenant, more Daniel & Sam than Daniel & Jillian.**

**(0)**

Sam closed her phone and looked at Daniel, slouched in the passenger seat of the rental car and staring at his phone.

"I've got thirteen messages from Emmett Bregman," he said, frowning in irritation. He looked at his phone again and then sat up a little, "and one from the love of my life."

He sat up even straighter, adjusted his shoulder belt and hit the 1 on his speed dial.

"Hey," he said, after a moment of waiting for the connection to go through, "No, I don't think we made a lot of difference to him. He still seems determined to go through with it….. No he wouldn't tell us all he has but he showed us some of it…Mostly pictures than can be easily discredited."

Sam maneuvered the rental car out of the parking lot and into traffic, trying not to listen but Daniel was in the seat right next to her and it wasn't exactly a private conversation….. or it hadn't been.

Daniel's tone abruptly went from clinical to something huskier, with a gentle affectionate purr in it. His expression went from distracted to focused, even if he was focused on something far away.

"You know what I'm wearing," he said, "the gray suit you picked out for me this morning, paisley tie, striped shirt…. Yes, I do know how much you like this one. What are you wearing?"

Daniel shot a look at Sam when she said, "Oh my God," under her breath, laughing a little and shaking her head.

He grinned and then spoke into the phone again, "the blue BDUs? Wow. You know how much I love you in blue." There was another pause in which Daniel went from grinning to looking unfocused again and finally to swallowing hard and quickly licking his lower lip. "Ummm, what? ….Oh, I don't know, I'll ask her."

Daniel took the phone away from his ear for a moment and turned to Sam.

"Jillian wants to go out to dinner when we get back to Colorado Springs. She wants to know if you and Pete want to come with us."

Sam shrugged lightly as she eased the car into freeway traffic, heading for SeaTac.

"There isn't anything more we can do about Alec tonight," Sam said, "We'll be home in three hours or so. Tell her to call Pete and tell him it's okay with me if he wants to."

Daniel turned his attention back to the phone and repeated what Sam had said, "We should land around five, call and tell me where you made reservations and we'll meet you….. Uh-huh. Wear the red dress?...Well, you got to dress me this morning so it's only fair. ….Okay…. Yeah…. I love you too."

He closed his phone and tucked it back into his jacket pocket. He settled into the seat and leaned his head back.

"I feel like there was more I should have been able to do to convince Colson not to go through with this; more I should have said. I'm supposed to be the team's unofficial diplomat."

Sam spared him a glance.

"My father used to say that all diplomats could really do was stall for time."

Daniel paused. "Well I didn't even manage to do that. He's going to stick to his twenty four hour timeline."

"I was there, Daniel," she said, "I'm not sure either of us could have done anything; and you're good. You're _very_ good. You should have a fourth doctorate in interplanetary relations."

"I'll get on that as soon as they offer one," he said.

Sam smiled at him and then returned her attention to negotiating Seattle traffic. Daniel played with the radio stations for a moment before shutting it off entirely. He leaned back again, content to let her drive. Sam loved to drive the way she loved to fly, only not as fast.

At least she didn't drive fast when Daniel was in the car with her. He worried about her when she drove alone.

Since silence didn't work for Daniel it only last for a little while and then he glanced at the ring on her finger and said,

"So you said yes?"

"I.. What?"

"To Pete," Daniel said, "You're getting married?"

"Oh! Yes! Right. I said yes. Why?"

Daniel shrugged. "No reason. Jillian said you were having trouble deciding – the whole career/marriage thing. I'm glad you made a decision that makes you happy."

He wondered if he should have admitted that he and Jillian sometimes talked about her, but, hell he sometimes talked to Sam about Jillian too. Sam didn't look like she cared.

"You _are _happy?" His voice managed to be gentle and concerned all at the same time.

"Yes," she answered and realized she'd been saying it a lot lately. "There's a lot to be said for not being alone anymore."

She regretted it the moment she said it.

"Alone?" Daniel the word guy pounced on it like a cat on a mouse, "Sam, as long as any one of the three of us is alive you could never be alone…"

"You know what I mean," she interrupted, quickly, before his words could make her cry because it really was a sweet thing to say. "You've all been married, had someone waiting, just for you; and it's really all your fault that I realized that yes was the only answer I could give Pete."

"My fault?" Daniel answered.

"In a way," she said, "The last time I went to your house and you and Jillian were home."

"What about it?"

"I wanted to talk to Jillian," Sam went on. "You were there."

"Did I stop you from talking to her?"

"No. The opposite really. I just realized that I didn't need to talk to her after all."

Daniel frowned, crinkling his forehead until the chevron appeared. Sam glanced at him again and thought he looked ready to throttle her.

"Do you remember what you were doing?"

Of course he did. He remembered everything.

"I was fixing the leak under the bathroom sink because it seemed silly to call a plumber when we've fixed much worse off world. I mean, a guy who can read ancient Phoenician really should be able to read a plumbing manual."

"Right," she said, "and Jill was making brownies and there was stuff from your spare room piled up in the hall because you're starting to turn that room into a nursery."

"And?" Daniel asked, brow still crinkled.

"It was all so….." Sam's voice trailed off.

"Normal?" Daniel guessed.

"I was going to say domestic but normal will do," she acknowledged, "I mean there you were under the sink with just your legs sticking out and a bag from Home Depot on the floor next to you and when you stuck your head out to say hi to me you had a flashlight in one hand and a wrench in the other and it seemed like a really curious thing for you to be doing, after all the things I've seen you do. It just struck me that Jillian and I are the same age and…. And at this point in my life I'm supposed to have a man under my sink; someone who is supposed to take care of things like leaky plumbing, and I realized that Jillian has someone who loves her and is proud of her and you come home to each other and maybe your life together is crazy sometimes, but it's also pretty damned great and I'm supposed to have that too. I don't but I'm supposed to."

Sam stopped because she felt like she was babbling like an idiot. Daniel didn't say anything but she knew he was listening to everything she said – the words and the subtext, the meaning below the words.

"And even though we all love you and you know we do – and we'd all come over to fix your sink even though you can probably do it better than any of us - it's not the same thing," he said, "and then you thought about Pete."

"I went to your house already thinking about Pete," she answered, "and I realized that I do have that. I just hadn't said yes to it yet. Pete is wonderful around the house and he's proud of me and he loves me and we work really well together. Look how much help he was when Teal'c was in trouble! It isn't perfect yet but sometimes we do come home to each other and it feels right when we do."

"And you're happy?" he asked.

"Yes, Daniel. I'm happy," she said.

Daniel continued to study her for a little while. She was brilliant, and beautiful, and he did love her. He loved all of them the way they loved each other. They'd never be alone. Not until it was down to just one of them.

But she was right. It wasn't the same. He could never love Sam the way he loved Jillian.

But Daniel had listened to her with the precision of someone for whom analyzing language was second nature; and it had not escaped his notice that Sam had not once said anything about being in love with Pete.

(0)


	145. Chapter 145

**The next two chapters will tag Sacrifices. Daniel and Jillian are enjoying a bit of a lull at this point and trying to deal with Sam's bizarre behavior.**

**(0)**

"Daniel Jackson?"

The words had more challenge than welcome or inquiry in them. Daniel was as skilled in translating 'basic Teal'c' as he was 'Jack O'Neill'. He saw Teal'c bite back the rest of what he had been about to say. He watched Teal'c deliberately relax his facial muscles to appear neutral, empting his expression of feelings. Decade after decade of serving false gods had left habits he still made use of; and the urge to hide his thoughts was always the strongest reaction.

But he had lost much of that skill when he was with Daniel. Daniel knew him perhaps better than even O'Neill.

Teal'c had lived beneath a mountain of stone for eight years. He had lived inside the hard shell of himself for nearly his entire life – until he had come here and the Tauri had picked it apart a little at a time.

And Daniel had been staring at him across the gym for some time. They were alone for the moment and Teal'c had noticed that Daniel had not really seemed to be working out even though he'd had the free weight in his hand for several long moments.

It wasn't hard to figure out that Daniel wanted to talk about Rya'c. Daniel had spent eight years jumping into crap without thinking twice, driving both Teal'c and O'Neill crazy at times with his impulsiveness. Stubborn was an understatement – his friend's greatest asset and his worst fault.

But he was hesitant to jump into this with Teal'c.

"Daniel Jackson." This time the voice was a little less patient, a whole lot less inquiring.

The stubborn determination rose up in Daniel's eyes. Teal'c saw it in the tensing of Daniel Jackson's mouth, the small lift of his chin, the stiffening of his shoulders. Then he said,

"When I was kidnapped by the Trust, they threatened Krista's life unless I did the translation for them."

Teal'c's eyebrows rose as he set the free weights back in their cradle with a decisive clank. It wasn't what he had expected from Daniel. But he had seen Daniel begin in an obscure place and then bring the conversation around to exactly the place he wanted it. It had taken Teal'c a long time to understand that this was how Daniel's mind worked. Daniel saw connections that were invisible as gossamer threads to the average mind. He connected pieces from worlds that were light years apart and made sense of them in an instant.

With Daniel, logic could seem obscure. But he had learned to go slowly along a path of clues and let everyone catch up with him.

"Of this I am aware," Teal'c answered, turning to face him again.

"I barely knew Krista. I'd spent less than five minutes with her the day you introduced us but I still couldn't let them kill her. Could I?"

"No, Daniel Jackson. No one could."

"No one with a beating heart," Daniel said. "No one who hasn't lost his soul and become blind to everything but what he's fighting for."

Teal'c was starting to lose patience.

"Are you seeking absolution for your actions that day, Daniel Jackson?"

"No, I don't feel guilty about it. Angry. Frustrated. But there was nothing else I could have done."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

Daniel looked away, ducked his head slightly and looked at Teal'c over the top of his glasses.

"So we're agreed that having a heart and wanting to protect the innocent doesn't make someone weak?"

Teal'c lifted an eyebrow. He wasn't sure when exactly they had agreed to that. He had learned that a well-executed, silent penetrating stare had a way of making the Tauri speak. He leveled one at Daniel now.

Daniel's body language changed again – his shoulders straightened, his chin lifted once more.

"Being in love with Kar'yn isn't going to make Rya'c weak," he said, "no more than love has ever made you weak. No more than it does me. In fact, I think I can make a case that love makes us stronger. Love gives us something to fight for and pushes us to do things we don't believe we can. I know that having Jillian has done that for me."

"You do not understand, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c began.

Daniel cut him off, which only a handful of people in the galaxy could get away with.

"No I think I do," he said, "That being said, I agree with you about Rya'c being too young. He has no idea what he's getting into and neither does Kar'yn. I think of some of the things I've done to Jillian…some of the things she's had to endure because of me. I mean, I _died_ and it almost killed her too." Daniel paused and looked imploringly at Teal'c, "I thought you should know that at least one of us is completely on your side about that part of your objection."

Teal'c had relaxed but only minutely and only clues that could be followed by someone who knew him well could give that away. He inclined his head in acknowledgment but continued the hard stare straight into Daniel's eyes. He knew the man too well to think he was done.

"I think you should give Rya'c your support anyway," Daniel said, quickly. "Now just hear me out. If they do face challenges they can't handle or the whole thing falls apart and they separate, Rya'c is going to need you; and I don't think you want this trouble between the two of you to interfere with that. He wants your support, not just now but in the future and he's too young to lose what he's forged with you while he's busy losing his head and his heart to Kar'yn. Now you can tell me this is none of my business and kick me out, but I had to say it and I won't be upset if you don't take the advice. It's just…. I never had the support of a family of any kind until now. The love of family. It means more than I ever thought possible; I just don't want to see you lose your son. I don't think you even need to say anything. Just stop objecting and be there."

Daniel paused and then switched to a tone Teal'c recognized as quoting from memory. The man's mind really was a thing of wonder at times.

"_There's no vocabulary for love within a family, love that's lived in but not looked at, love within the light of which all else is seen, the love within which all other love finds speech. This love is silent_."

Teal'c considered that for a long moment. Then he reached out and put his hand on Daniel's shoulder, squeezing slightly. His understanding and his gratitude lived in the silence that followed.

(0)

Daniel was relieved much later when he made his way back to the quarters he shared with the woman who wore his ring and had taken his last name as part of hers. Jillian had been extraordinarily pleased with him lately. He'd made a commitment after the events on Tegalus to stay closer to home for a while, even sending other members of his staff to sites he himself would normally have wanted to visit. She had noticed and his reward was her smile, her laughter and the peaceful way she felt in his arms.

Except for the multiple deaths of his avatar when he was trying to get Teal'c out of the chair, Daniel had managed to not die or even get hurt for an almost record stretch of weeks. Jillian didn't seem to hold his kidnapping by the Trust against him. That too had been to rescue Teal'c and Jillian still had an unswerving loyalty to the Jaffa. He suspected that if she had been sitting at the desk when the message came across the screen, if she had been the one to answer the phone, she would have done exactly what he had. The thought chilled him but at least he knew why she wasn't upset with him for getting himself kidnapped.

The time they had spent working side by side at the Antarctic Outpost had been some of the most rewarding of his life. He couldn't remember a time when he had felt so close to Jillian, so close to _anyone._

She had managed to infect him with the same desire for 'normal' that she had been expressing for years. He felt better after talking to Teal'c and now he was looking forward to taking her out to the local stores searching for furniture to put around their new pool.

He thought this relatively peaceful period couldn't possibly last – not with Anubis and Baal and Replicators still loose in the galaxy - but he was determined to enjoy it.

He could hear her moving around in their bathroom as he shut the door to their quarters.

"Jill?"

"Almost ready. Can you wait a minute?"

"For you? I'd wait forever."

Less than a second later the bathroom door opened and Jillian came out with an expression of misty wonder on her face, hovering in the doorway.

"You always know exactly the right thing to say," she said.

Daniel heard what she'd said but was struck so speechless for a moment that he didn't answer.

She was wearing a sundress in tie-dyed shades of orange and peach and cream. The halter top left most of her shoulders and back bare and emphasized the shadow between her breasts. She'd pulled her hair back into a saucy ponytail and was wearing a strappy pair of wedge sandals.

He became aware that he hadn't taken a breath in far too long and that his mouth was hanging open. He inhaled with effort, worked his jaw loose and said,

"Have I told you how much I love the warm weather?" he asked.

She smiled and stepped into the room.

"No, but you've told me how much you like sundresses," she said.

Daniel's eyes swept from her face to her feet and back up.

"My god you are gorgeous," he said, as if he had just noticed. When she blushed the color of a desert sunset he laughed a little. "I don't tell you that nearly enough do I?"

"I'm just glad you still think so after five years together."

"I'll still think so after five hundred years together," he swore.

Jillian walked up to him, put her hands on his shoulders and leaned in to give him an almost chaste kiss on the lips.

"I think we should have a wedding around here more often. It brings out the romantic in you."

Daniel slipped his arms around her. "Don't ever say that around Jack – not without emergency medical equipment standing by. I think it would give him a major coronary."

Jillian surprised him by sighing and leaning her head on his chest for a moment.

"Jack could use a good smack upside of his head," she muttered.

"What?"

She straightened up again and it didn't escape him that her smile was forced. She looked him up and down, taking in his t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Nothing," she said, "Are we still going out shopping?"

"Yes," he answered, certainly, "You just have to give me a second to get dressed."

She fussed with finding jewelry that she liked and settled on a single gold necklace while he changed into the light green slacks and beige sweater that he knew she liked; though the sweater lifted her eyebrow.

"What?"

"Daniel, it's 78 degrees outside."

"I know."

"Don't you think a lighter shirt and a jacket might be a better way to go? You just said you liked warm weather."

"Yeah, but what you consider warm and what I consider warm are two vastly different things."

"Really? Because I've always had the feeling that your refusal to put the air conditioning on until August was just a ploy to keep me in tiny shorts and tank tops."

Daniel laughed, caught her around the waist and pulled her close. Jillian looked up at him and her eyes were hot and green and adoring.

"Just like the pool is a ploy to get you into bathing suits as often as possible," he said.

He put his face in her swept back hair and inhaled.

"You're really happy right now, aren't you?" Jillian asked.

He leaned back far enough to look into her eyes again and take her face between his palms.

"I am," he answered, "I really am."

(0)

A/N Daniel quotes T. S. Eliot.


	146. Chapter 146

Daniel drove even though they took Jillian's truck. He'd gotten over the oddity of driving a purple truck and even decided he liked it. It was a little bit quirky and out of step and unafraid to be what it was. He and Jillian had both learned to be unafraid of who and what they were; and they had done it together.

They talked about inconsequential things like where to have lunch and if they were looking for anything specific to put around the pool until Daniel got out onto the highway and settled into the right lane. Then she asked,

"Did you talk to Teal'c?"

"Yes."

"Did he listen?"

"He heard me."

Jillian smiled a little. "When you're insistent enough no one can help but hear you."

He glanced at her briefly before looking back at the interstate traffic.

"I hope he did anyway," Daniel said, "I warned him that he shouldn't sacrifice his relationship with Rya'c over this and now it looks like it may all be over before it began."

"You don't think Kar'yn and Rya'c will work this out? It sounds more like nerves and Jaffa tempers to me than something that will permanently come between them. Teal'c and Ishta seem to fight all the time without it adversely affecting their relationship."

Jillian had been watching from the observation window above the Gate Room and seen the argument between the previously deliriously happy young couple.

"Teal'c and Ishta are both over a hundred years old. They've got a better perspective."

"I doubt that either one of them will be giving Rya'c and Kar'yn advice on getting back together," Jillian observed.

Daniel gave her a sidelong look. "Actually," he said, quietly," I was thinking that maybe you could talk to Kar'yn."

"Me?"

"Yeah," Daniel said, "You understand Teal'c for reasons I'm still just starting to understand myself. Kar'yn likes you. She has a lot of respect for the way you put Neith on her ass after she threatened me that time. You've got a perspective of being married to someone who can be kind of difficult at times…."

She laughed and he stopped talking long enough to duck his head and grin at her. He caught her in the process of sweeping him with a sultry look that started at the top of his head, drifted to his lap and then slid back up to study his profile again.

"You want me to explain to her how much power a woman can have when she kneels before a man?"

Her voice – and her meaning – washed over him like aural sex. He looked over at her again to find her eyes just as hot and sultry as her voice.

Daniel's eyes glazed a little. It had been a long time since she'd done him by mouth, even longer since he'd asked her to bring him off that way.

"Jillian. I'm trying to _drive_ here."

She smiled and it was little more than a slight lift at the corners of her delicious mouth and a creasing of her eyes until they were liquid velvet.

Wearing a dress made her feel soft and feminine. It also reminded her that she was married to a man who had always made her think of Greek statues and long sensual nights. Her fingers tingled with the need to touch him, to brush her fingertips along the lines of his brow and cheek and jaw. He was a beautiful man, the physical embodiment of a spirit she loved so much it bypassed words.

"I guess we can explore that later this evening then," she said.

Daniel shot her another somewhat desperate look and shifted on the driver's seat as if he was suddenly uncomfortable.

"Have mercy? Please?" he said and sounded like he was only half joking, "And you know perfectly well that isn't what I meant when I suggested you talk to her."

Her continued expression held anything but mercy but she did finally answer

"Yes, if she seems willing, I'll talk to her," Jillian agreed.

"Thank you," he said.

"You can thank me later," she said.

"_Tā māde ni__ǎ__o, _Jillian! Stop!"

This time laughter bubbled out of her but she relented.

He muttered something else, shot another look at her that tried to be stern and dissolved into a grin.

After a few more miles of driving in silence while Jillian changed radio stations, Daniel said,

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What did you mean back on the Base when you said Jack needs to be smacked?"

Now it was Jillian who shifted uncomfortably.

"Jill?" Daniel had the edge in his voice that meant he was going to pester about this until he was happy with the outcome.

"I had a fight with Sam this morning," she admitted.

"What?" Daniel was honestly stunned. "You don't fight with Sam. You two have never had a cross word."

Jillian was staring straight ahead, focusing on nothing but looking at the taillights of the car in front of them.

"I found out why she said yes to Pete, in the warehouse, that day and I…. I kind of lost my temper with her."

Daniel waited. He could tell Jillian's mood had abruptly changed from playful to upset.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" He asked.

He could only give her an occasional glance since he had to keep his eyes on the road but he took in enough to see the variety of emotions that passed across her features.

"Why not start with telling me why she said, because, really, that's kind of had me perplexed for a while," Daniel prompted.

Jillian sighed.

"It was because of the way I ran to you when Teal'c brought me to pick you up."

Daniel was still collecting pieces of a puzzle that seemed utterly unrelated to his original question about Jack; and he knew he didn't have all of them yet. Not by a longshot.

But he remembered the way she had gotten out of the big dark SUV almost before it had come to a complete halt. Then she'd run across the concrete floor, feet hardly touching the ground, barely breathing, and flung her arms around his neck and held him as if she was never going to let go.

Clearly in love, clearly grateful to find him alive. Forgiving him. Clinging to him, eyes filled with tears even as she had laughed with relief.

Daniel connected the first few pieces.

"And she decided she wanted something like that in her life, that she'd be just as relieved if it had been Pete who had been missing."

"Yes," Jillian answered.

"All right, well that kind of makes sense to me then. It follows her thought patterns for the past few months anyway, at least as far as what she's said to me. But why did you have a fight with her about it?"

Jillian's hands fluttered elegantly for a moment in a gesture of frustration.

"Because it _does_ follow the pattern. I got angry with her. I told her she needs to start making decisions based on what _she_ wants and not on what you and I have. She told me Pete _is _what she wants and I …. I don't believe her, Daniel and I said so. I told her to stop trying to recreate my life and get one of her own….."

Daniel winced. Sam didn't really have anything like his wife's red-headed temper but she wasn't a wall flower either.

"Cào, Bǎobèi," Daniel muttered.

"I know," she said, "I regretted it instantly but Sam had already denied that's what she was doing – in pretty fluent off-color military-ese – and then stormed out of the room. I haven't been able to apologize. I think she left the Base."

Daniel took his hand off the wheel and raked his fingers through his hair.

"Okay. You can work that out with Sam. You've been friends a long time. But you've lost me somewhere. What in the bloody hell does this have to do with Jack?"

"Why is he letting her do this?" Jillian burst out.

"I…. What?"

"Why doesn't he stop her? Why doesn't he retire and go after her?"

"I'm pretty sure it's because Sam's in love with Pete and Jack doesn't want to screw that up for her!"

"No she's not."

"Well it certainly looks like it from where we're all standing."

"You're the one who told me Jack's in love with Sam."

"That doesn't mean I have the first idea how she feels about him!"

"What?"

Daniel ground his teeth for a moment, passed a slower moving truck and then eased back into the right lane.

"I don't," he said, "Sam's more of a mystery to me than Jack is."

"You've been friends with her longer than I have!"

"That doesn't mean I understand her, not completely."

"Then explain Jack to me at least," Jillian begged, "Why doesn't he retire again? Why did he take over the SGC instead?"

"Well for one thing Sam's engaged to another man now and…."

"And?"

Daniel hesitated and Jillian understood suddenly that he was wrestling with sharing something personal that wasn't all his to share.

"Jack had a vision for the SGC, for the teams, for what we can be out there when we defeat the Goa'uld."

"He does?"

Daniel gave a serious glance that lasted a bit longer than it should have.

"It's amazing what the man will share on a stakeout or night watch," he said, lifting one shoulder in a shrug, "Then Weir quit and Jack was promoted and Sam got engaged."

Jillian stared at him. "And this vision is more important to him than Sam is?"

"No! I…. I don't know," he paused again and Jillian waited. He was still struggling with how much he should share about Jack, even with her. Then he inhaled and started talking, "Jill, look, Jack is still living in some kind of ….of penance to his past. The pictures in the house and his locker, the way he lives his life. He's one of the most solitary people I know for all that he's surrounded by other people every day. His life is a private hell he's locked into and has made himself believe is permanent. He wants it to be permanent in some ways. He doesn't give any thought to moving on. He doesn't believe he deserves to live out the rest of his life in anything but a long, slow punishment for the way he failed his wife and son. Everything he does is atonement for that. I think he's determined never to be in love again, never to set himself to fail someone again. It's a hard thing to go through once, much less risk going through again and I…."

Daniel stopped and took a long breath, let it out. He blinked rapidly a few times and Jillian realized he was fighting tears. His hands were tight on the steering wheel.

"He doesn't want to fall in love again, Jill," Daniel's voice now sounded like his chest was tight with emotion, "and I understand it because I didn't either, not after the way I failed Sha're. It took me a long time to realize I already had; and an even longer time to admit it to myself and even longer to have the courage to say it out loud. You know what it took to get me to come to my senses and stop fighting it. " Daniel stopped and considered all the ways he could try to explain it to her, all the insufficient words that didn't scratch the surface of what he had experienced in five years with her,or the realm of fear and adoration he had inhabited in that time. " Ascension was the beginning of forgiving myself for all my failures. Coming back to you was the conclusion of it because while I know now that Ascension was a necessary part of my path, it wasn't the end of it."

He stopped abruptly, hitting a wall where words failed him. He loved her so much it ached, but the ache was the cost of being flesh and blood in a an all-too-human existence. Jillian reached across the space between them and rested her hand on his arm. He let go of the wheel with one hand and squeezed her hand tightly. Words, even all the ones he knew in all the languages he knew, sometimes weren't enough.

Love always was.

"I know you get frustrated sometimes when I overprotect you, but I can't help it, Jill. Jack's been fighting overprotecting Sam for eight years."

"He's giving her to Pete because he thinks she's safer with him," Jillian said.

"Something like that," Daniel agreed, "Yes."

"Then he's being an idiot!" Jillian said, "And he deserves to be smacked in the head over it."

Daniel almost sighed with relief. Okay, he'd finally connected all the puzzle pieces of her thought process and come to an understanding of his wife. He gave her hand another squeeze and then put his back on the wheel.

"They're adults, Jill. We're going to have to trust them to figure this out. I already promised Sam I would."

She didn't say anything, just turned her head and stared out the passenger side window until Daniel turned onto the exit that would take them to the shopping district. They were both still silent when he turned into the parking lot and found a spot and shut off the engine and pulled out the keys.

Unhooking his seat belt he slid across the space between them and threaded his fingers through her hair and cupped her head in his palm. He smiled at her. It was heart-melting, sweet, a soft curve of sensual lips and a hint of white teeth. He rubbed his thumb over her cheekbone in a gesture of reassurance and wonder.

"You can't blame Sam for wanting what we have," he said, quietly.

Her eyes grew misty. She looked down and then back up and nodded.

"I love you, Daniel."

He leaned closer and breathed against her mouth and pressed, kissed. Jillian made a choked noise that sounded like _oh god_ and opened to him, hungrily. His mouth was cool, wet, silken, intensely responsive. Daniel kissed her deeply, searching and sliding with his tongue, stroking.

"You still want to go shop for furniture?" she asked, when they parted but didn't move away from each other.

"Yeah, I promised you and we're here now," he answered, "But let's make it fast, okay? I'd really like to go home and make love to my wife."

"Deal," she said.

Against his mouth, he could feel her smiling.

(0)


	147. Chapter 147

**Tag to Endgame. Jillian sends Daniel on another potential suicide mission.**

**(0)**

Jillian sat on the bed, squeezing her hands between her knees and looking miserable.

"Tell me again how you talked Jack into this plan?"

Daniel was changing into his black ops uniform. He didn't answer right away; nor did he look her in the eye. He pulled the black t-shirt over his head and tucked it into his pants before reaching for his socks.

"Daniel!"

"I'm not sure I really have talked him into it," he admitted then added "Yet. Have you seen my watch?"

"It was on the nightstand," Jillian answered. She moved around on the bed and picked at his tac-vest.

Daniel walked over to the bed and looked, then bent over and finally knelt down to find his watch on the floor just under the bed. He'd probably knocked it there sometimes last night, during a lovemaking session that had been rough and playful and long and filled with laughter and so much intensely passionate noise that he had been grateful for concrete walls and steel doors. He'd been hot and eager, almost blindsided by a renewal of his feelings for her – love, adoration, something that bordered on addiction to this incandescent, _extraordinary_ woman he wanted to spend a lifetime exploring.

He'd brought her to climax over and over, watching her every time. He'd been unable to breathe, watching her come. She was fierce and somehow innocent, off guard every time; and she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and he'd had no idea, no idea _at all_ what her response could mean to him, even though there'd been times he was half insane with lust and times he thought his heart would break just watching her sleep.

When he withdrew from under the bed, watch in hand, he was kneeling in front of her and looking up into her eyes.

Last night all the joy and love in those deep green eyes had belonged to him – the same way the misery and simmering tears belonged to him now. Something in the depths of his stomach churned. Something in the center of his chest clenched tightly. No one else had this kind of power over him, this kind of hold on him.

It was a power she rarely used and he knew she wasn't doing it on purpose now.

"It's Sam," he said, staring up at her with pleading shining blue in his eyes.

"Waiting for help to arrive isn't an exit strategy, Daniel," she answered.

"I'll be with Sam. Maybe she'll have a better plan. She can probably fly the damned thing if it comes to that."

"Hoping the person you're setting out to rescue has a better plan isn't an exit strategy either!" she protested, "Daniel!"

He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, mussing it further.

"Mallory has you pretty well trained, doesn't he?" he asked.

"Better than Jack has managed to train you apparently. When you go into a dangerous situation it's handy to have some idea how you're getting out!"

"I do have some idea!"

"Waiting."

"Yes. For Jack."

"Jack?"

"Yes," when she continued to stare at him blankly he said, "It's Sam…and me. Jack's only letting me go because it's Sam and if something does go wrong, Jack will get us out of it."

"The way he got you out of Kelowna?"

Daniel inhaled sharply. He knelt up straighter and took her face between his hands, digging his fingers into the back of her head.

"Kelowna was my fault. _Mine;_ and no one else's. Don't ever blame anyone but me for that. _Nǐ tīngdǒng ma?_"

Jillian held his stony gaze for a moment and then nodded, abandoning the fight. She knew Jack really _had_ done everything he could to save Daniel after Kelowna.

"_Shì de_," she said, finally. "_Duìbuqǐ_."

"I know," he said, "Jill, this is Sam. I know you haven't been too happy with her in the last few weeks but you don't want to just leave her in the hands of the Trust? Not just Sam but the Stargate too?"

He saw her hesitation. He let go of her face and opened his arms.

All she had to do was lean forward.

When she did it was warm and wonderful and a little desperate. Her arms went around his neck and she combed her fingers through the ragged edge of his hairline. Then she hid her face against his shoulder and he held her until she stopped shaking.

"Don't die," she said.

"I promise," he answered.

(0)

nǐ tīngdǒng ma – do you understand?

Duìbuqǐ – I am sorry

Shì de - Yes


	148. Chapter 148

**The next chapter or two will be tags to Prometheus Unbound – missing scenes mostly about Jillian and what happens to her.**

_To the woman who shares my life and my love of exploration and discovery, something from home to take with us. Here or in any galaxy you will be my guiding light, my true North._

_I am now and forever…_

_Yours,_

_Daniel_

Jillian stood in the small room that she would share with Daniel on board the Prometheus and read the hand written note several times – each time making her smile a little more – before she put it down in front of the lovely vase of white roses on the table between the beds. The roses were obviously from their garden at home, hand cut and arranged; and when he had found the time to do this _and_ have them waiting here in their quarters before she had ever gotten on board she would never know.

There were eleven real roses and one silk – a fact that still had her perplexed.

The door clicked open and she turned, expecting Daniel because anyone else would knock first, even though she had thought he would seek the Bridge or the labs or something else when he first got there.

He was so stunning it took her breath away for a moment, until she had to exhale or faint. He was wearing the black leather jacket she had given him for Christmas the previous year, filling the doorway, blocking the light from the corridor. His ocean-blue gaze went from her face to the vase of roses and then back. He smiled and it was beautiful.

As beautiful as he was.

Jillian walked over to him and reached inside the jacket, gathering a handful of his shirt. His heart beat thundered under her fingertips. She tilted her head and lifted up on tiptoe and touched her lips to his.

His lips answered back, full and tender, masculine, aware and knowing and soft and they took in the touch of hers, as though Daniel loved her and this was all he ever needed.

It was a gentle, easy kiss and Jillian breathed, _"Oh, god, Daniel," _against those lips and then looked up into his eyes and found them full of love and happiness gazing back at her.

Jillian laughed then because of the incredible impossibility of all this and it was all because of Daniel - Daniel there, with her, going to the Pegasus galaxy and taking her there with him, right next to her, with his tall, strong body and brilliant mind and articulate tongue and more empathy, more intuitive insight into emotion than any human being she had ever known.

"What were you thinking, when I came in?" he asked.

"I was thinking about how much I love you."

Daniel tipped her chin up with his thumb and forefinger.

"This is asking a lot of you, Jill. I know how much you love the house. You're not even going to get to swim in your pool this summer now."

Jillian laughed again. "The way the construction is going, I doubt it will be finished before winter. I feel kind of bad asking Dad to deal with it."

"He'll be fine. He loves doing things for you now."

He rocked her a little more and then let go to close the door and take in the room.

"Kind of cramped," he observed.

"The twin beds are bolted to the wall," she said.

Daniel shrugged. "We can take the mattresses off and put them together on the floor. Then use the beds as shelves."

She smiled. The man truly was a genius.

"Jill?" The change in his tone was serious. She lifted an eyebrow to look back at him. "I know we talked about this, but really, we _did_ expect Jack to say no and he was saying no, pretty strongly. Then Hammond changed the whole game – and said I could bring you along as part of my 'team' – and we had to make up our minds fast…. But have you thought any more about the Asgard?"

"Yes," she answered, not hesitating to give him the truth, "Of course I have."

"Not surprising. Second thoughts about going now? We haven't left orbit. I can go talk to General Hammond, explain things to him."

She reached up to touch his face, stroke along the line of his jaw and then into his hair and over his ear and finally to the back of his neck, ruffling the edge of his hair. "No, I still want to see Atlantis and the Pegasus Galaxy. There's a part of me that is always going to want to see what's around the next curve. But now there's a part of me that really wants a baby too. There has been ever since I met you, I think; and you found a way to make that possible and now I feel like we might be flying away just at the wrong time…."

"I'll tell you what," he said, "As soon as we get back from this I'll get Jack to let us contact the Asgard ourselves, instead of waiting for them. Okay?"

"Okay," she answered. "I love you, Daniel."

"I love you, too," he said, and sealed that thought with another gentle, tender kiss. "How about we find a window around here and watch while we leave orbit?"

She smiled happily again. "You always know exactly the right thing to say."

He got out of his jacket and they started out the door and Jillian suddenly remembered what had been bugging her about the roses.

"Daniel," she asked, "Why is one of the roses silk?

"Because," he answered, pausing at the door to draw her once more into his arms, "I will love you until the last rose in that vase dies."


	149. Chapter 149

"General, I just did a head count. Daniel Jackson is still aboard the Prometheus."

Hovering in the doorway behind the General and Walter, Jillian felt her heart contract painfully. She had known it already but something about having Walter say it out loud made it worse.

For a brief, blinding moment she wished Jack was there. Jack not only wouldn't stand for one of them being left behind, he'd crawl across space with his P90 in his teeth if that was what it took.

It didn't surprise her that General Hammond was aware of her. He turned just enough to meet her eyes.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Dr. North," he said, kindly, "I've never known anyone more adept at staying alive than Dr. Jackson. He's probably hiding and I couldn't be more pleased than to think one of us is still aboard the Prometheus. I think our chances of getting the ship back just increased dramatically. "

The moment he said it, Jillian felt better. He was very much right about that and she had forgotten what a calming, steadying presence General Hammond could be.

She gave him a smile that was weak but brave. Wherever Daniel was, and she had to believe that he was alive, he would be just as frantic that he didn't know where she was, though it would be easy enough for him to guess.

"I've missed you, sir," she admitted, then she squared her shoulders a little. "What do you need me to do?"

"Well," he answered, drawing it out in the way only a Texan could, "I didn't exactly staff an Al'kesh salvage crew. I find myself in need of someone who can read and translate Goa'uld so we can get this ship operational again."

Relieved to have something important to do, Jillian nodded. "I can do that," she said.

(0)

She was still blinking from the blinding light of the Ring transporter, even though she should be well trained enough to ignore it at this point, when a hand reached out, seized her by the wrist and pulled her forward with such force she almost fell.

She stumbled into the arms of Daniel, fell up against his solid form, sighed, slipped her arms around his waist and clung for dear life.

"Daniel," she whispered in relief.

That was when she realized he was shaking, badly.

"Are you all right?" They spoke the same words in the same breath. Jillian laughed a little. Daniel didn't.

"Yes, I'm fine," she wiggled free enough to look up and touch his face. "What's wrong? Where are your glasses? What happened to your shirt?"

He shook his head, winced a little as if it hurt.

"Daniel," she said it a little more firmly.

He glanced around at the chaos in the Ring room as more of the Prometheus' crew returned from the Al'kesh. Abruptly he switched to Greek, even though she doubted anyone was paying attention to them even in English.

"Den í̱tan éna soúper stratió̱ti̱s . Í̱tan éna Goa'uld."

Jillian inhaled sharply.

"Ena Goa'uld?" she repeated.

"O pró̱i̱n ypodochí̱s , égine misthofóros , peiratí̱s," he explained. He paused, still clutching her close, then said in a strangled voice, "I thought…. I thought…"

"That I had been taken by the Goa'uld," she finished.

He nodded, unable to speak any further, not in any language.

"Daniel," she repeated and this time it was a prayer, a soothing balm, "I'm fine. I owe my life to General Hammond, if you want to thank someone, but there was no one on the Al'kesh but the crew of Prometheus. I was never in that kind of danger."

He nodded, looking unconvinced. She dug her fingers into the back of his neck and pulled.

"I. Am. Fine."

Jillian leaned forward, stood up on tiptoe and pulled him down further, until their foreheads were touching. The loss of Sha're and the manner in which he had lost her would never be a scar for Daniel. It would always be an old wound waiting to bleed fresh.

Daniel took a long deep breath and said,

"I'm sorry. I'm making this all about me and I can only imagine what you must have thought when I wasn't with the rest of the crew on the Al'kesh."

"With you I'm never sure what to think!" she said. "But it scared me. Look, can we go somewhere that isn't so crazy? Back to our quarters?"

"Yeah," he sounded relieved, "We can do that."

The Prometheus was swarming with activity as the crew reclaimed her and did damage assessments and Daniel was inordinately glad that the Prometheus didn't need archaeological or anthropological assistance. He all but pulled Jillian through the corridors, his hand tight around hers. Some members of the crew nodded to him, some told him how good it was to see him. It was all hurried and polite and Daniel was glad of that too. He was in no mood to stop for conversation.

They got to their quarters and Daniel put the privacy seal on the door. Jillian sat down on the mattresses on the floor and watched him rummage around in their duffle bags for a clean shirt. She was hungry for as much of him as she could see. She was still trying to convince herself that he really was alive and unscathed.

She reached for the shirt he discarded and examined the edges of the whole of the sleeve. The fabric was scorched, not torn. She looked up again and found his left arm, bulked with muscle from his addiction to working out in the gym (and thank you Teal'c for finding a way to help Daniel work off his excess energy that had such marvelous side effects.) The skin was unmarred by anything but the bullet wound and surgical scar from his brush with Anubis before the Base lockdown the year before.

Her eyes roamed over the rest of him searching for bruises or injury. Even bent over looking through his duffle, Daniel's legs were braced apart and his feet planted firmly, as to keep his balance in a world that tended to tilt on him without warning – as it had just recently in fact. She saw the heavy muscles in his shoulders and his back ripple as he stood up straight and pulled the clean shirt over his head, pulling it down over his heavy chest and cut abs, tucking it into his pants without undoing his belt.

He caught her looking at him, holding his old shirt. His excruciatingly beautiful blue eyes held hers for a moment.

"What?"

"How did this happen?" she asked, holding it up with her fingers in the hole.

He looked hesitant for a moment and then gave her the honesty she had come to expect.

"She shot me with some kind of energy weapon."

Jillian's eyes got wider and she looked at his bicep again in question.

"Then she healed me with a Goa'uld hand device,' he explained.

Jillian's jaw set tightly and she glanced away. She didn't like anyone to hurt Daniel. She'd fallen apart in Rusty's arms with her entire team trying to comfort her after Daniel's rescue from Nicaragua. There had been no one for her to seek revenge against, not by the time the helicopter had landed and she'd known for certain Daniel was safe. Jack had seen to that. Their eyes had met briefly and Jack's had held a dark and grim satisfaction.

For Jillian there had been nothing left to do but give her team the tears and frustration she wouldn't let Daniel see.

"_They __hurt __him," she'd sobbed into Rusty's shoulder._

Their assurance that Jack had trained Daniel how to endure and Daniel's own stubborn personality had protected him hadn't helped.

And right now she was seized with a need to march down to the detention cells and put this space pirate on her ass.

Daniel saw the tension and knew what it meant.

"Jill, I'm fine," he said.

She raised dark green eyes to his again and said, "It hurt though."

"Like a son of a bitch," he admitted, sitting down next to her, "and then she used that thing on me and scared the hell out of me."

He put his hand on her knee and his fingers picked delicately at the folds of fabric.

Jillian forgot her anger and moved around behind him, kneeling up. She pressed her hands on his shoulders, started working thumbs and fingers into the knots of muscle, pushing against the tension with the heels of her hands. Daniel's shoulders melted under the touch and he groaned a little.

Jillian resisted sighing too, though in frustration. Daniel needed some serious massage therapy judging by the hard knots she was finding. But she was happy when he remembered to eat without a reminder, much less get to any kind of regularly scheduled appointment.

So she pressed and coaxed and squeezed until the seized muscle gave way, smoothed out, and Daniel groaned again in relief. Then she rubbed some more just because she knew Daniel would like it and she loved the feel of his body under her hands. Then she combed fingernails down the back of Daniel's head and neck just because she wanted to and then finally up and down his back until it raised chills on his arms. Daniel shivered and sighed involuntarily and it made Jillian smile a bit.

She slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his back.

"You're safe now. We both are," she said, "I just don't understand why she kept you. You aren't even dressed in a Prometheus uniform. Why did she think you could help her with the ship."

"I'm not sure she knew about the uniform thing," he said, "and she claimed she kept me because I was, quote, 'very attractive'."

Jillian froze for a moment, hardly breathing and then Daniel felt her start to shake, silently. He turned around, thinking she was crying and caught her in his arms just as she finally laughed out loud.

"Oh my _god,_ Daniel," she gasped.

"What? You think it's funny she found me attractive?"

"No! No, god, of course not. You're gorgeous. All the women in the galaxy would agree with that. It's just that… after all we've been through and everything that has happened to you, this time you got kidnapped by a space pirate because you're _hot."_

Her dancing eyes and sparkling laughter infected him, even though he resisted. There was warmth in her expression was mixed with desire, acceptance, forgiveness

"She didn't say _hot,"_ he protested, "she said, very attractive."

"Which is female-speak for hot. Trust me."

She looked at him for a moment and then started laughing again. The simple absurdity of the whole thing was just too much. Her arms went up around his neck and she pressed against his collarbone and shook with laughter and relief.

And Daniel's entire Being started to vibrate with hers, caught up in hers. Her laughter was like a carillon of bells on a summer evening, calling him back to love and joy.

Jillian looked up at him and made eye contact so close and electric that the jolt of desire stunned Daniel. He fingers went up into her hair, threaded through the dark red silky strands.

"How long before you think they'll miss us?" he asked.

Jillian tilted her head to offer him a kiss. "Long enough," she answered.

(0)


	150. Chapter 150

**Finishing up Prometheus Unbound with some quality time for Daniel and Jillian.**

**(0)**

Jillian got a fistful of Daniel's shirt and pulled him down with her as she lay down on the utilitarian mattress. Her eyes were holding his and he followed her as the ocean followed the moon. Just before her head hit the sheets his hand was there to cradle it. His other hand was pulling her shirt out of the waistband of her black uniform pants, reaching under it and making little, insistent swirls on her skin. Jillian reached up and reverently touched his cheek, stroked along the bone with slender, beautiful fingertips, and then up over his eyelids, brushing his lashes. Then she slid the back of her hand down his face and touched the smooth, hard column of his throat, felt his strong pulse growing quicker, felt the muscles contract under her touch as he swallowed the sudden dryness.

Under her shirt his hand moved up and cupped her breast, squeezed a little. His thumb stroked through fabric over the tip and Jillian's body jolted as if from a tiny electrical spark, as if he'd come to her over carpeting and static had passed between them.

Jillian did half a sit-up so they could collectively get her shirt over her head. Daniel inhaled a little when he saw the leopard print and lace bra.

"I think I may have a new favorite," he said in a low husky voice, "matching panties I supposed?"

Jillian lifted one soft round shoulder, causing a matching movement in the swell of her left breast.

"What there is of them," she answered.

Daniel groaned a little and buried his face in her neck and shoulder, licking and sucking urgently at her skin. She was perfect. She was warm and soft in all the right places and pressed firmly against him. Her head was held back, exposing her throat, sighing and gasping at his touch. Her spine was curving sinuously towards him, arching up. He slipped the strap off her shoulder and pushed her bra out of the way, rubbing his palm in slow circles.

Jillian pulled his shirt out of his waistband and he felt her long, slender fingers slide up under it, sensuous on his ribs. He became mesmerized by her touch. Especially when she undid his belt and unzipped the front of his pants and ran her fingers over the hard length of him through the cotton of his briefs.

After all that had happened and his horrible fear that she was hurt, or missing, or….or _gone_, it was heaven. It was _wonderful_….

"So, was she?" Jillian asked.

Daniel was working his way with long slow licks and sucks towards the tantalizing swell of her breasts and murmured, distantly.

"Was she what?"

"Was she hot?"

Daniel had just enough brain cells firing to know that whatever he said in the next few seconds could have a potentially lethal effect on the current mood in the room.

He tipped her over and gave himself a moment to process, breathing against her lips, teasing and sucking on her lower lip before kissing a little insistently.

"Compared to you? Not even close," he answered in what he hoped was his deepest and sexiest voice.

Jillian's body melted against his. He could feel her smile against his mouth. He inhaled to say something more and a little voice in his head whispered,

_Quit while you're ahead, Jackson….._

He bent lower and closed his mouth over her breast, sucking, tasting, sucked harder, teased with his tongue. Jillian arched and groaned and her fingers went reflexively to his head, trembled a moment and then stroked his hair.

"_Daniel."_

"Mm-hm," Daniel murmured a low vibration of sound into his throat that transferred into her body and made her whimper.

She pushed him back suddenly, reaching for the hem of his shirt. He got a glimpse of her just before it went over his head – skin flushed a deep satiny shade of peach, eyes dilated black with a thin ring of bright green, nearly naked from the waist up with one strap down to her forearm and one breast exposed. Daniel felt a moment of extreme and profound awe. He was amazed that in the midst of the insane, complicated, implausibility that was their life together they got a chance to be together like this; to express their love for each other like this.

It drove him wild, drove him to toss the shirt away and haul her against him again to find the clasp on her back and get them skin to skin. He was thwarted in his efforts to get her undressed by her rather frantic efforts to do the same to him. Stripped at last, Daniel sealed his mouth over hers again and pressed her back into the mattress, partially covering her, and kissing her as if he had forgotten how and was trying to remember. The kiss slowly deepened as her hot, soft mouth welcomed him. He was determined not to let her talk, not to let her say anything else that might derail this. He wanted it. He wanted the sweet, passionate pleasure of stroking her to climax from the inside; the sacred privilege of holding her through the sensations that often threatened to overwhelm them both.

His hand and mouth roamed her body at will and though he was distantly aware of her hands on his arms and shoulders and back and chest, he was concentrating completely on Jillian. He slid smooth, gentle strokes over her body, cupped and teased and licked her breasts for a long time, savoring each one in quiet worship. While his mouth lingered there, his fingers slid along her legs until they parted for him and he could feel her wanting him. She was open and moist, smooth and complex and he was always a little delighted that he was never quite sure where she wanted to be touched. He always had to search for a little bit, explore, tease and pet until she arched and moaned.

Daniel touched and after a moment, Jillian's head lolled back, eyes sliding closed, and she gave a beautiful, mindless sigh, the kind of sound that was pure response, that meant she wasn't even trying to communicate anymore because he was _there_. Her body relaxed into thoughtless submission as she gave herself completely over to him.

He rolled to kneel between her legs for a moment, looking down into her lovely, expressive face and saw pleading, saw _hunger._ He entered carefully, slowly, wanting to feel it, wanting to feel her feeling it. He moved so that they could both savor the sensation of entry, slowly massaging his way deeper, making love to the opening in Jillian's body that was made for him, sinking into her over and over so that they both felt every moment. He felt the ripple that rose up her spine and through her chest, contracting her breasts even further. He felt the flutter of hypersensitive, moist, swollen tissue closing around his cock.

Jillian moaned again and it was his name, in relief and need and awe. She put her arms up around his neck and her legs around his thighs. He eased his upper body down onto her, heavy firm breasts and narrow waist and broad hips against him. His head pressed in against hers and he turned so that his face was buried in her fragrant hair. He slid one hand under her lower back and began working beautifully, deeply, lovingly inside her.

He could feel the throb of her pulse as he eased forward and back and he wondered if he had ever been so intensely aware of her before. Then he lost the ability to wonder and even to think. Their movement together became instinct.

He could feel her starting to shake against his slow, shifting hips. Tight, hot flesh took him. Her heartbeat stroked him. He pressed deeper, sped up…..

Jillian jolted up against him suddenly and her body went rigid. Daniel wrapped his arms tight around her and held on as she went volcanic under him. For a brief moment all Daniel could do was ride the waves, sharp contractions dragging at his cock. Jillian groaned, head thrown back, a deep, sexual purr that sometimes had his name caught in it. She bucked so hard against him she nearly threw him off, curled up, fingers dug into his shoulder blades, her face turned into his neck, breath hot on his skin.

Daniel came a moment later, like thunder after a series of lightning strikes. He thrust fast and close to keep them both going.

For a long while afterwards there was only _now_, this moment, no thinking, no wondering, no worrying. There was only Jillian lying in his arms, breathing hard, the molten silk of her body against his chest and belly and legs. Daniel breathed deep and pulled the scent and reality of her into him. He was holding her too tight but she didn't complain.

He loved her beautiful body, the long limbs and slender, feminine curves, soft skin and silky hair and eyes he drowned in every time; and inside that package the most incredible spirit he'd ever met. Intelligent. Resilient.

He kissed her forehead and found it damp and salty. He wanted to tell he her loved her and she was amazing and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

But he figured he already had and once again words would ruin everything.

His hand slipped down her arm, to her wrist and then to her fingers. It was her left hand and the only thing she was still wearing was her wedding ring. She opened her eyes and looked into his and smiled softly as he lifted her fingers to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

"Quite a day," she observed.

"Yeah," he observed, lacing his fingers with hers and pressing their joined hands against his chest.

Jillian cuddled closer, tucked under his chin, sighed and her breath was warm.

Hell of a day, actually. But they were 'home' now…

(0)


	151. Chapter 151

Jillian was standing at their dresser with her back to him. Even in the mirror he couldn't see her eyes. Her head was bent, burnished highlights in her hair catching the light and shining. She was looking intently at something in her hands that was also out of his sight.

She was as lovely from the back as she was from the front and at the moment looked so soft and vulnerable that Daniel was taken by an impossible aching realization of how much he loved her and an equally wild protectiveness.

He walked up behind her and she didn't lift her eyes to meet his because she already knew he was coming, that he was there and what his tall, solid body would feel like as he stepped up behind her. His hands briefly cupped her ribs, slid inward around her waist, dropped to her hips and finally crossed in front of her to rest over her lower belly. His forearms contracted around her as he cuddled in closer, molding his chest to her shoulders and spine, his groin to the utterly feminine curves of her bottom.

Daniel lowered his head just enough to feel like he was sufficiently wrapped around her and teased the skin behind her ear with an almost kiss.

Jillian sighed softly and snuggled back into his careless masculinity and said his name. Daniel exhaled in a long, contented way; then he stood and held her as if standing and holding her was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life.

At that point Daniel looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw that she had still not looked up.

So he looked down.

The small stick her hands startled him.

"Jill?" he said.

Now she looked up and met his eyes in the mirror.

"It says positive," she said.

Daniel's heart thudded hard for a moment and he took a long breath and ordered his brain to send the right response to his vocal cords.

"You bought an EPT?" he asked, hedging for time.

She nodded and he knew from the pleading look in her eyes that she wanted his understanding.

"Don't you trust the Asgard?" he asked.

"I do! It's just…. I needed… I needed to see some kind of …._proof_ I guess. I mean, I feel fine! I thought I would feel different or there would be obvious side effects and …."

Jillian trailed off, smiled at him in a misty, helpless way and lifted one shoulder in a shrug.

Daniel's arms tightened. He had seen this woman call a Jaffa a coward to his face and threaten to throw a bucket of ice on him. He had seen her put one of Ishta's warriors on her butt in the dust in a matter of moments.

He had heard her call the Ancients a bunch of drunken college students for the way he had been returned to life.

She was one of the strongest women he had ever met.

But this…..

This moment in their lives was the most emotionally vulnerable that he had ever seen her. This moment was also the closest they had ever come to something truly magical.

A simple, singular, true miracle and it was theirs. Their universe was suddenly a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. It had taken the advanced genetic science of the Asgard but they were actually having a baby.

He smiled, snuggled closer still, molded his body closer to hers and buried his face in the hair behind her ear.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure there's going to be some obvious side effects. We should just maybe not be expecting that in the first week?"

He felt more than heard her laugh. It was soft and gentle and it felt like he was listening to her soul dancing. It dragged him to a place in his heart that was so content and so happy that it was like walking barefoot in the sunshine.

Her fingers reached back and ruffled through his hair.

"Has it really been a week?" she asked.

"As of tomorrow, yes," he said, "Don't tell me you forgot?"

"No," she paused and smiled and said again, more softly, "No."

It was a morning neither of them would ever forget, since nothing had gone as planned.

Daniel had woken during the night and, unable to go back to sleep, had gone downstairs to the office to work on the video footage of the stone pillars from Maybourne's planet. He had worked for about three hours, finally gone back to bed to curl around Jillian. Usually she was aware of him returning to bed and would roll over on her side and let him spoon up against her back. That night she had turned to face him, snuggled in close. He was too tired at that point to think about it and her head felt so good pressed against his shoulder and her arms around him…. Sleep dragged him back down and he had stayed that way until the rising dawn had crept through the sheer curtains. He'd coaxed her awake with kisses and gentle caresses and what had followed had been a long, quiet session of easy lovemaking. Neither of them had to be anywhere until after noon. Then they were scheduled to do a joint SG1/SG8 exploration of PJ2-693. Daniel had been looking forward to it. He loved working off world with Jillian.

They had been searching the kitchen for something to eat. Jillian was barefoot in one of his t-shirts and a delightful pair of mint green panties. Daniel was in a pair of navy sweatpants and a white undershirt, working on his third cup of coffee when their cell phones rang simultaneously. They shared one brief look of alarm and then Jillian pulled hers off the charger, glanced at the ID and said into it, "Hi, Mal. What's up? ….What? Now?"

The rising tone of her voice sent Daniel scrambling for his, which had stopped ringing by the time he got to the coffee table to retrieve it. The ID told him it had been Jack.

He had called back quickly and ground his teeth through Jack's scathing comments about not picking up his damned phone when it rang.

The bottom line: their mission had to be moved up or scrubbed. They had just discovered the local inhabitants had a yearly ritual scheduled that precluded strangers of any kind. Mallory and Sam had made the almost instantaneous decision to move it up. They were leaving in an hour.

A mad scramble had ensued in which Daniel had used the guest bathroom to shower and Jillian had used the master and they had tried very hard not to crash into each other in the walk-in closet.

He was in the master bath, holding his black t-shirt in his hand and rummaging through the medicine cabinet for his deodorant – which was _always_ on the bottom shelf but had somehow managed to go missing that morning, of _course._ He found hers and was cautiously sniffing it to see if it was something flowery when he was suddenly engulfed in a blinding white light and the next thing he knew he was standing in the corridor of an Asgard ship. Jillian was standing there a few feet from him, with her hair still damp and tousled. Her eyes were wide and dilated, dark within a ring of bright green. She had been startled, frozen like a doe in the middle of a meadow at the sound of a gun.

"Greetings, Daniel Jackson, Jillian North," Thor's soft voice was almost a monotone.

They had relaxed minutely as the small Gray had come towards them.

"Jackson," Daniel amended, "Jillian North-Jackson."

Jillian threw him an exasperated look and said, "It's just Jillian. Hello Thor."

Thor regarded them for a moment before blinking his huge black eyes and saying, "Please come with me. Heimdall is waiting for us. I am sorry it took us so long to respond to your messages."

"Replicators still giving you problems?" Daniel asked, conversationally. His heart was starting to hammer a little wildly, as he realized why the Asgard had just kidnapped them out of their own house. He stepped close to Jillian and wrapped his hand around hers a little too tightly. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Did you turn off the coffee maker?"

"Yeah." The breathless tone of her voice told him she had figured it out too. She was shaking like a 7.0 on the Richter.

"The Replicators are all but eradicated," Thor answered, "Thanks to the weapon given to us by General O'Neill. There is another matter that has required our attention."

In spite of the circumstances, Daniel couldn't help the insatiable curiosity he had been born with.

"Anything we can help you with?" He asked.

"Not at the present," Thor answered.

Not as easily distracted, Jillian put her free hand over the one he had holding hers and said, urgently, "Daniel!"

He looked down and saw that she still looked terrified.

"We wanted this right?" he asked, softly.

She nodded, stiffly. Daniel stopped walking and pulled her around to face him.

Gentle, insistent blue eyes bored into hers. She had realized he wasn't wearing his glasses.

"We wanted this," he repeated, seeking assurance.

There was a moment more hesitation and then suddenly she had smiled, like the sun burning away a gray sky.

"Yeah, we did," she had said.

He heard the conviction in her voice, saw it in her eyes. He had never been so certain that he wanted anything in his life – other than her – and now he saw the same desire reflected back.

Thor had stopped in a doorway just ahead of them and they had gone to join him. The small Gray stared at them a moment and then said,

"Come."

They had walked into the lab and into a whole new chapter in their lives. Heimdall was there, bent over a console. He directed them to stand in a particular spot and then there had been an odd moment of standing together bathed in a single bright light, staring into each other's eyes for support.

When the light faded, Heimdall said, "You asked for both a male and a female child, Daniel Jackson. Do you have a preference for which you want first?"

"No," Daniel and Jillian answered in the same breath, in the same instant and then smiled at each other.

"It is possible to give them both to you now," Heimdall went on as if he was discussing the weather.

"Twins?" Daniel's voice went up about an octave. Jillian's eyes flew open. He looked at her and saw that she was shaking her head.

"No," she said, sounding panicked again, "No, Daniel. I can't. If …..if something happens we'd lose them both. It's too much of a risk."

"This part has always been up to you," Daniel answered. If the truth was told Daniel would have been just as happy to let the Asgard keep them in a test tube until they were ready to be born, though he would never say as much to Jillian.

At this point in his life Daniel had been forced to serve as a midwife four times and he wasn't looking forward to seeing Jillian go through that. He also knew that even in the twenty-first century, pregnancy wasn't without risk.

But he knew how much she wanted normal. He knew how much she wanted this.

"One at a time," he told Heimdall, "and we still don't care which one is first."

Beside him, Jillian visibly relaxed, though she was still clinging to his hand.

Heimdall worked in silence for a moment, bent over his console.

Daniel cleared his throat and Heimdall looked up.

"We also talked about eliminating…"

"The defective gene, yes," Heimdall said, "It has already been isolated and taken care of."

Jillian swallowed, squeezed his hand. Her fingernails dug into his skin. "No cancer?"

Daniel shook his head, smiled at her and then pulled her into a tight embrace when tears misted her eyes and she bit down hard on her lower lip.

He was still holding her in a tight embrace when the light suddenly came down around her, shimmered for a moment and then vanished.

When he finally loosened his grip on her, Thor was standing beside them, once again blinking up at them with his large black eyes.

"You have a son," he said. "We will send you back now."

"Thor!" Daniel said, sharply, "If you need us for _anything….."_

"We will contact you," Thor answered simply.

Another blinding flash of light and they had been standing in their living room and both their cell phones had been ringing frantically. Jillian moved to get hers a heartbeat before he reached for his.

"Mal? …. Yes, it's me….. No, I'm _fine_…..Mal, please calm down. Everything is fine… No, we'll explain everything when we come in…. Yes, we're still coming! No, give us about an hour…."

Daniel grabbed his and moved to another side of the room to have a simultaneous conversation.

"Jack? …. No, everything is okay….. No, we don't need the Marines….No, I'm not telling you over the phone what happened!... It's not the kind of thing you talk about over the phone, that's why…._Jack._ …. Yes that _was_ my impatient voice. Want to hear it again? …..No….Fine…"

He turned to look at Jillian and heard her telling Mallory they would be there in an hour.

_Really? _He mouthed the word to her and she nodded, still giving the voice on the other end of the cell phone half her attention. Daniel frowned but said, "Jack! We'll be there in an hour…. Yes, I _know_ we said that an hour ago but this time I mean it….. You'll understand…. Yeah, that's a promise….No, I don't know any nice retirement spots that are archaeologist free….Good bye, Jack."

He had broken the connection with a sigh of relief and found Jillian setting her phone back on the charger.

He hadn't wanted to go to work. He hadn't wanted to leave the house. He had been seized by a possessive, savage, insane, primal and completely masculine need, to lock the doors, put Jillian in a chair and hover over her and keep her safe.

Which she, of course, would rail against with all her will, even while understanding it and fighting the need to respond to it.

That push/pull of emotion had defined the last week of their lives. He had spent most of the time trying to be covert in his efforts to fuss over her and she had spent most of the time pretending she didn't notice and being tenderly touched by it.

They were both utterly convinced that they had never been so happy in their lives. They had once believed that the love they had for each other was an unmatched, unshakable force.

But that love had seemed to suddenly triple, buoyed and expanded by their sudden joy. They were both worried sick and terrified and endlessly, boundlessly full of hope and joy. They were each feeling not only their own emotions, but each other's. Daniel had tried every way he knew, every word he knew, to somehow express what they were going through and found that words at the moment were like fishing nets. They could hold some of what he was trying to say but none of them could possibly hold all the happiness and wonder and amazement of their small and private miracle.

It was a feeling that could barely be contained.

"We don't have to go to work today," Daniel said, softly, nuzzling.

Jillian turned in his arms, abandoning the EPT on the dresser. She linked her fingers behind him and stared up at him. Her eyes were soft and adoring.

"No," she agreed, just as softly, "I guess we don't."

(0)


	152. Chapter 152

**Missing scenes and tags to Full Alert**

"Hey, Baobei, it's me. Listen, I won't be able to make it home. Jack's sending us on a surveliance thing and I don't know how long it's going to take. Can you call me? I'm a little freaked out that you didn't answer but I'm going to hope you're just out in the garden or the shower or something... So have mercy and call me. Okay, I love you...Call me... As soon as you can...Okay. Bye."

Jillian let the message play through, listening to Daniel breathing just because he was still hoping she'd pick up and he didn't want to disconnect the line. She had been in the shower and it was a sign of just how deep underground Daniel was that he didn't know it had been pouring rain outside until just recently. She picked up the land line, wondering why they even had it and dialed his cell.

He answered it before the first ring had a chance to cut off.

"Jill?"

"Caller ID didn't give me away?"

She felt it even over the phone - the spark between them, the feeling of two halves becoming a whole. The rich cadence of his voice filled all of her senses, worked its way through her cerebral cortex and warmed her heart. She swore she could feel it flowing through her veins and swirling around the child they had created.

"It's in my name," Daniel reminded her, "I wasn't sure it wasn't someone calling to tell me you'd been found passed out on the floor or fell in the bathtub or something."

"You're such an optimist," she said, with dry affection.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. We are _both_ fine. Did I hear you correctly? You're doing survelliance?"

"Yes."

"When did you become a spy, Daniel?"

"Since Jack trained us all on the equipment and won't trust anyone else with the assignment. It's important, Jill."

"You haven't eaten, have you?" she asked. It was more an acknowledgment than an accusation.

He had been working on something for Jack when his computer had decided to have a mild breakdown. Tech support had been called and they had tackled the problem about the same time Jack had summoned SG1 to an emergency meeting. She knew he would have just worked through after that, still hoping he'd make it home in time for their dinner reservations.

"No, things went pretty much to hell after you left. There will be sandwiches or something in the van. I'm sorry about tonight. Can I make it up to you next week?"

"I'm not sure what there is to 'make up'. It's dinner out on a Thursday," she observed."Did you remember an anniversary or something?"

"Well if you need reasons, we're in love. You're wearing my grandmother's ring and having our child. We had great sex last night and I was planning on having great sex again tonight when we got home. ..."

Jillian felt a shiver of desire go through her.

"You don't have to get into a suit and take me out to dinner to get me to have great sex, Daniel," she said.

It was true. A totally unexpected side effect of her amazingly hormonal body was that she became wildly aroused at the thought of Daniel - even more so than before. The thought of him in a suit and tie did not bear dwelling on at the moment; not when it would be hours before they would see each other again.

"I want to take my unbelievably beautiful wife out to dinner. Do I need a better reason?"

Jillian smiled and then laughed.

"Go do whatever this thing is that Jack needs you to do. I'll come back to the Base."

"Do you want me to send a car for you?"

"I can drive, Daniel. I'm a little nauseous in the late afternoon, but it's not anything that keeps me from driving."

"You could just stay home."

"You don't want me to. You'll concentrate better on your work if you know I'm not alone, falling in the bathtub or something."

There was a soft inhalation on the other end of the line and then he said, "I'm trying not to hover, Jill. I really am. But you're my whole family right now. I keep wondering how I'm ever going to cope with the two of you being in seperate places."

"It's okay," she answered, gently, "I kind of like it."

"Yeah?" He sounded surprised and just a little pleased.

"Yeah, I do." It wasn't a hard admission really. Daniel's willingness to get between her and anything that would hurt her - while simultaneously acknowledging that she could take care of herself - was part of why she loved him so much.

"You're sure you don't want to just stay home? You can text me every once in a while so I won't worry."

"Okay, I'll put the cell on vibrate. If you aren't coming home I want to work on the language from PJ6-672. You know how hard my father is working on that treaty and the language barrier is just ridiculous. I'll have the headphones on," she acquiecsed to his greater fear of her driving and played with his frustration about that particular language. The 'Gate translations weren't working at all and true verbal communication was difficult at best. It had been eluding both of them for weeks, in spite of numerous teams that had gone and brought back recordings and etchings. "Look, if I want to go back to the Base, I'll call Scotty and ask him when he's going back in and he can drive me."

"That would make me feel better. I have to go. I love you. I'll be in touch when I can."

"I love you too," she answered.

There was another hesitation, another chance to hear him breathing softly into the phone and then it clicked off. Jillian held the receiver against her shoulder for a moment, then put it back in the cradle and went downstairs to the office to work.

(0)

**Later**, **on the Base, after Jack's briefing**.

"Do you want your extra glasses?" Jillian asked as she watched him tossing a change of clothing into a backpack.

"No, this and my gray suit are all I want to take with me. I'll change on the plane. I know I don't have many of them here, but could you pick out a tie that will go with that?"

Jillian nodded and went to rummage through his dresser drawer.

"You have a choice of blue or red," she said.

"I grabbed the blue shirt."

"Blue it is."

She turned and gave him the carefully rolled tie to tuck into an outside pouch. Their hands brushed briefly and the spark made their eyes meet. Jillian bit down hard on her lower lip and looked away.

"Hey," Daniel said, slowing down and speaking softly for the first time since Jack had told him he had a half an hour to catch a plane. He reached over and used the tips of his fingers to pull her chin back around gently. It was the first time in three weeks he had seen anything but serenity and peace surrounding her. "I'll be fine."

"I don't like the idea of you being in Russia right now," she said, "Something awful is happening and you're going to be in the middle of it and on foreign soil."

Daniel smiled in a quiet, indulgent way. "Weren't you the one lecturing me about exit strategies? Do you really think Jack O'Neill would send me there if he didn't have a plan for getting me out quickly?"

He watched the understanding dawn in her lovely green eyes. Her lips parted and she inhaled slightly.

"_Prometheus_," she whispered.

"Yes," he said, "I can get out whenever I want. It's part of the reason it was launched, though I think a very small part. Jack doesn't go off world with us, Jill. That doesn't mean he doesn't think like Jack O'Neill anymore. Feel better?"

"I do. Just don't get seperated from your transmitter."

"I _am _taking an extra one of those," Daniel assured her, "But I'm not putting anything in the backpack I'm not prepared to leave behind. I may not see any of it again. Jillian, tá grá agam duit, mo mhíle stór. You know I'll do everything in my power to get back to you and the baby."

Jillian put her arms around his neck, standing slightly on tiptoe to land a series of soft kisses on his jaw. Daniel hugged her back, cradled her as if she was an artifact thousands of year old and irreplacable.

"I know. I trust you," she said.

"You know, maybe we should talk about names when I get back," Daniel observed when he let her go and started zipping up the backpack.

He looked up to find her vehemently shaking her head. "Not until after twelve weeks. We talked about this."

There was something about 'twelve weeks' that Jillian considered a magical threshold after which nothing bad could happen. She was resistant to even telling anyone. At the moment only SG1, SG8 and Dr. Brightman knew. She hadn't even wanted to tell her father yet. Not wanting to stress her any more than she already was by his trip to Moscow, Daniel let it go.

He turned away from the bed, hefting the backpack over his shoulder by one strap as he did. His eyes met hers again.

"God, you are so beautiful," he said, struck again by how serene she looked; and that 'glow' thing people said pregnant women had... Yeah, that was real.

At the same time he was wondering how he was going to get through the next nine weeks much less thirty seven. He wanted her safe. He wanted her happy and stress free.

He just wanted things to stay as sane and calm as possible.

(0)

Sam poked her head in the door of Daniel's lab and saw Jillian working at the computer with the headphones on. The movement was enough to alert Jillian to Sam's presence. Eight years in an active SCG team had made all of them hypersensitive to their surroundings. Seeing Sam, Jillian took off the headphones and closed the program she was working on.

"How ya doing?" Sam asked, coming into the room.

Jillan gave her a long, serious look and said, "We're at Defcon 2 and Daniel is in Russia."

"Kind of why I'm checking up on you,"Sam admitted.

"Daniel ask you to keep an eye on me?"

Sam shrugged. "Yes, but I would anyway. You're my friend, Jillian. So is Daniel; and I know how important this baby is to both of you," Sam paused and shook her head in a mystified way, "I still can't believe Daniel found a way to make this happen."

Jillian smiled a little. "You know how he is when he wants something."

"Especially something for you,"Sam agreed, "So. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll feel better when he's home."

"They can get him out at any time. You know that."

Jillian looked hesitant and uncertain. "I hope so."

"What do you mean?"

"Sam. Daniel throws caution to the wind even when he doesn't have a failsafe exit strategy."

Sam pondered that. "Yeah, he does that," she admited, "but I also know he doesn't want to do anything to hurt you. I think that will alter his usual MO."

"I hope you're right," Jillian said. She pushed some papers around on the desk, organized them into a file and said, quietly, "You know. I once thought that if Daniel was off on some dangerous assignment, or god forbid, missing again, it would make all the difference in the world to me to know I wouldn't be left alone; that I would still have something we made together, something of _us_. I know that's a big part of why he did this for me."

She trailed off and stared without seeing at a spot on the concrete floor. Sam filled in the blanks.

"Having second thoughts about that?"

Jillian looked up. Her expression was misty. "I just want to see him holding his son. Is that too much to ask, Sam; from a Universe that already brought him back from the dead for me and then arranged for this?" She put her hand over the space between her hips protectively.

"No," Sam said, gently, "I don't think it is."

Tears flooded Jillian's eyes. "I'm not sure. I mean, how many miracles does one person get?" She used her fingertips to swipe at the tears in irritation. "Sorry. Hormones. The other day I cried over a commercial about this little terrier dog running to meet a little boy getting off the school bus. I thought Daniel was going to run out and get me a dog just to get me to stop crying. I can't even remember what the commercial is _for_."

"Dog food," Sam said, then shrugged at Jillian's startled look. She shrugged again. "Purina, I think. It tugged at me a little too."

"What?" Jillian asked, in mock horror, "What happened to the stoic, tough as nails Air Force Colonel I befriended?"

This time Sam's smile was a little sad. "Mother's Day commercials still get to me, every time."

"Yeah, me too," Jillian agreed in a very very soft and distant voice.

They gazed at each other in mute understanding until Jillian said, "Maybe that can change a little for both of us now." She made a visible effort to shake off the sudden melancholy and said, "Have you talked to Pete since all this started?"

"And say what? Hi, honey, we're at Defcon 2 and I just wanted to hear your voice?"

"Well, yeah. Something like that. I'd give anything to hear Daniel's voice right now, preferably in my ear while being held in his arms."

Sam looked uneasy for a moment. "We don't have that kind of relationship; and besides I can't really tell him what's going on and it would just be awkward."

Jillian bit back the comments she wanted to make about that. Her last conversation with Sam about Pete had ended in an argument and she didn't want that now.

"Look," Sam went on, "I came here to ask for your help. I'm working on a hypothesis about the Trust and I could use a second set of eyes that can read Russian, if you're up for it."

"What hypothesis?" Jillian asked, coming alert. Doing something that could help Daniel and the current situation was more appealing to her than the language from 672.

Sam didn't answer the question. Instead she said, "Are you hungry?"

"No. I'm too worried to be hungry but I know I should eat."

"Well come on. We'll get something from the commisary and take it back to my lab. I can fill you in there."

Jillian stood up.

"Okay," she said, "Let's go."

(0)

Sam and Jillian were perched on stools with their heads bent over photographs and print copies of Russian newspapers. Their laptops were both open to Russian webpages. They had worked in silence for several hours. After eating sandwiches they were now picking at grapes to satisfy the 'hand to mouth' urge caused by long hours of concentrated work. They both felt that they were inches from something important but it continued to elude them.

The phone rang on Sam's desk and she hopped down off the stool to answer it.

"Carter," she said into the receiver, "...that's good news...No, I don't have anything yet...Yes, she's with me. I'll tell her...I will...Yes, sir."

Sam put the phone back in its cradle and turned to Jillian.

"Prometheus has Daniel," she said, "Jack was just informed."

Sam swore that for a moment Jillian stopped breathing all together. Then she exhaled sharply as tears flooded her eyes again.

"Hey!" Sam sounded genuinely concerned. She hadn't seen Jillian cry this much since Daniel's death and Ascension. "It's good news, right? He's safer up there than we are down here at the moment!"

Jillian was wiping her eyes again. She shook her head. "Yes. Yes, it's wonderful news. I'm relieved. I'm just also an idiot right now and I need to quit crying about him being safe before I see him. I don't want him to get upset."

"He knows you're worried, Jillian."

"I don't usually turn into a sobbing ball of helplessness when I'm worried. That's what he's used to."

Sam grabbed a box of tissues from the shelves behind her and brought it to the lab table.

"Honey I think he's going to understand that you aren't exactly going to be reacting to everything the way you used to," Sam said, pulling some tissues out of the box and handing them to her.

Jillian used the tissue to finish drying her eyes and answered, "I just don't want him to worry."

"Oh I think that's a given," Sam told her, "He's not just going to worry, he's going to be on the verge of a heart attack for the next, what now? Thirty seven weeks? And probably for all the years after that."

Jillian's smile was misty but she didn't start crying again.

"I just need him, Sam. I need him like the ocean needs the shore, as an anchor, a destination."

"He needs you the same way, maybe even more."

"I know and that's what I want to give him - the home and the family he never had."

"He deserves that. You _both _deserve that."

Jillian gave Sam a long pointed look. "So do you."

Sam started to answer when a warning siren interupted. It was a low tone, ominous and unfamiliar. But Jillian saw how pale Sam became and the fear that briefly flickered through her suddenly large eyes just before military training schooled her features back to neutrality.

"What?" Jillian asked; then more sharply when Sam hesitated, "Sam! Don't treat me like a civilian. I haven't really been one in eight years!"

"We're at Defcon One," Sam said.

They locked eyes for a long, horrified moment and Jillian murmured under her breath, "_Aiya_..."

(0)

**After the credits:**

The bright light temporarily blinded Jack but the familiar sound of an Asgard transport beam kept him from reacting with anything but annoyance. When he opened his eyes, Teal'c and Daniel were standing in front of his desk.

He leaned back in his chair and regarded them and said, "You know, I had a perfectly good car waiting for you at Peterson."

Daniel opened his mouth to speak but was prevented from doing so by the sudden arrival of four armed Marines - two at each door - ready for actions and pointing the business end of their weapons at Teal'c and Daniel.

It was a credit to their training that they stood down a split dsecond before Jack said, "Stand down, fellas. Just a friendly invasion."

They saluted Jack and backed out of the doorways.

"Nothing wrong with the security system at least," Jack muttered.

"Where's Jillian?" Daniel asked.

Jack leaned forward and began shuffling through the various piles of paper on his desk.

"Was it my turn to watch her again? Clearly I'm not getting all of my memos..."

"Jack!" Daniel snapped.

O'Neill took pity on him. "I don't know where she is, but I know she's fine. The last time I saw her she was in Carter's lab but that was a while ago..."

Daniel spun on his heel and took off out the door so he didn't hear Jack say, "We can debrief later." He paused when he realized Daniel was gone and looked up at Teal'c, "Or I can just talk to you."

Teal'c raised a single eyebrow, looking amused. "Indeed," he said.

(0)

As luck would have it, Daniel decided to try his office first. He found her standing at the desk, looking as if she had heard his footsteps in the hallway but was too afraid to make any further movement towards the door.

The ceilings lights glinted from his glasses and his dissheveled hair. His tie was askew, as was his shirt. He looked like he had just gotten out of bed, wrinkled and disordered.

Jillian's heart lurched like a startled hare. Relief and desire for him shook her from head to toe, passing in hot waves through her bloodstream, flooding her mind, body and soul with longing. Stunned into silence by the intensity of the emotion she couldn't move.

Daniel stood as if turned to stone, gazing at her with the same relief, fire burning in the hot blue of his eyes.

When he finally moved it was to wrench off his jacket and toss it on the table as he strode towards her across the concrete floor. With a sound that was part laugh and part cry, Jillian surged forward to meet him.

Consumed by a sudden frantic need to touch Jillian threw her arms around him just as he lifted her in his arms, bent his head and kissed her. Tears burned her eyes as she kissed back and clung to his lean waist, laughing and moaning against the hot insistent pressure of his mouth and the slide of his velvet tongue. His lips were honeyed fire. He set her gently on her feet and his body pressed hard against her breasts and hips and legs. Jillian dragged his shirt out of his pants and ran her hands over firm naked flesh, the delectable hard muscling of his back and abs and chest, needing to feel him warm and alive.

"Are you all right?" he asked finally, leaning back to look into her eyes.

"Yes," she said, breathless. "Are you?"

"Not a scratch," he said, bending to nuzzle behind her ear, breathing deeply. "I didn't have time to go shopping and bring you back a souvenier though. I hope I'm forgiven."

"You brought back the only thing I really wanted," she whispered, pressing closer, tilting her head up.

Daniel started kissing her again - long, trailing kisses along her neck and jaw, exquisite nibbles in the sensitive hollow of her throat.

Jillian sighed and clung to him. At some point his mouth found hers again. Jillian knew only white-hot passionate surrender to the only man she had ever loved.

(0)

tá greragam duit, mo mhíle stór. - tah grah ugum ditch, moh veelah shtore - Gaelic, I love you, my (thousand treasures) darling.


	153. Chapter 153

Jillian woke to the sound of the air conditioner coming on. It was early July. They had celebrated the Fourth and Daniel's birthday (even though his birthday was actually tomorrow) over the weekend and now they were going to spend a quiet Monday working from home and resting.

It was unusual for them to have the A/C on already. Daniel preferred fresh air and when the temperatures in Colorado Springs finally reached 85 degrees Farenheit he was happy. But she was unusually warm and he was trying to keep her comfortable. He'd had the A/C unit checked and turned it on at least a month earlier than he would normally have done so.

Still it made her smile when he stirred in his sleep and groped for the blanket they had kicked to the bottom of the bed. He pulled it up over his own shoulder, using feel to make sure that only the sheet still covered her. He made a soft contented sound and she felt him slip back into a relaxed state she knew wouldn't last. Once Daniel's sleep had been disturbed in the morning, he would eventually get up. He never fell back to sleep.

She snuggled closer, determined to enjoy his presence for however much longer he would stay in bed. She could tell by the way the buttery shades of sunlight were slanting through the sheer curtains that it was barely dawn. Daniel must have set the A/C to come on and start cooling off the house at first light.

She had very nearly almost fallen back to sleep when Daniel stirred again, stretched and sat up. Jillian made a small, disappointed noise. He leaned over and pressed a kiss on her temple. She could feel the smile in it, the contentment.

"Go back to sleep. We don't have anywhere we need to be today."

She was too tired from a weekend of Fourth of July at Jack's and being surrounded by people who had no idea of the monumental event happening in their lives, to argue with him. She could feel him sitting beside her, stroking her hair for a little while before she fell asleep, feeling safe and protected and loved.

(0)

When she woke again it was to the smell of something delicious cooking. She couldn't tell what time it was by the light anymore. Daniel had closed the blinds inside the French doors. Jillian smiled to herself and snuggled deeper under the sheets but her stomach started growling, reminding her that it had been a while since she had eaten and she probably missed breakfast. She got up, took a shower, changed into a pair of bright orange gym shorts and a grey t-shirt and walked out into the Great room.

Daniel was in the kitchen, standing at the counter, chopping tomatoes on a cutting board. He was wearing a dark blue sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up and a pair of grey sweats. Jillian walked up behind him and slid her arms around his waist, molded her body to his in a slow, tight press, nestled her cheek against his back and sighed happily. He made her feel warm and happy, as if a thousand floating candles were burning on an ocean of love.

"Good morning," she said.

Daniel turned his head enough to see the clock on the stove and said, "Good _afternoon."_

Jillian blinked, startled and looked at the clock. It was 12:05pm.

"Wow," she said, "I knew I was tired, but..."

"It's okay," Daniel dried his hands on a paper towel and turned in her arms to loosely take her in his own. "It was a busy weekend."

Jillian let go of him just long enough to gesture at the vegetables on the counter, chopped into neat and precise pieces as only a trained archaeologist could, and then at the meat sizzling on the stove.

"What's this?"

"Dinner," Daniel answered.

"At noon?"

"Well, I noticed that for over a week now you've been too nauseous to eat in the late afternoon and then you go to bed without dinner. So, from now on, we're eating dinner at noon."

Jillian blinked again. "We are?"

"We are."

"And today we're having?"

"Taco salad. The meat's easy and the rest is just chopping vegetables; and it's one of your favorites."

Jillian sighed and rested her cheek on his chest. It was true that she had been prepared for 'morning sickness'. Hers just seemed to hit around 5pm.

Daniel put his hands gently on her shoulders and pushed her back and turned her around. He dropped a kiss on the side of her neck, near her shoulder.

"Go sit down," he said, propelling her to the dining room.

It was then that she realized the dining room table was set with china plates, their good water goblets and a vase of fresh roses. Tears flashed into her eyes and she blinked them away quickly. Daniel might understand that she was just deeply touched. More likely he'd think something was wrong.

When everything was perfect.

"I can help," she said.

It was his turn to hug from behind. "Let me fuss," he whispered in her ear, "There isn't much I can do right now except fuss."

Jillian squeezed his wrist and turned her head enough to nuzzle under his jaw.

"Okay."

She went and sat down at the table and watched him bring food and salad dressing and a pitcher of ice water. He sat down and looked at her anxiously.

"Everything okay?"

"It looks wonderful," she said.

"Hungry?"

"Starving."

"You're sure?"

"Daniel, it's fine," she laughed.

They talked about inconsequential things while they passed food back and forth and Daniel filled her in on his morning.

"Your Dad called. He's getting anxious about 672. I think we may have to approach it culturally as well as linguistically. The Gate is having a problem translating for some reason. At this point we have to determine the reason."

"Dad called? I never heard the phone. Was I that sound asleep?"

"I turned yours off and had mine on vibrate," Daniel said, then before she could protest, "You need to rest."

Jillian inhaled as if she was going to argue and she saw Daniel tense up as if he was perfectly willing to have the discussion and not back down.

Jillian let it go. She had slept until noon without moving. It was possible he had a point. She reached over and squeezed his wrist and smiled at him just to watch him relax.

They ate in silence for a little bit longer and then he asked, quietly, "Jill, have you given any more thought to just telling your father about the baby?"

"Now?" she asked, looking stricken, as if buffeted by a sudden strong wind.

"It's been a month."

"I know," she hesitated and then turned the 'Pleading Green Eyes of Doom' on him, full force. Daniel was caught in them more securely than a deer in the headlights of an oncoming Peterbuilt. "It's just... Dad has probably given up the thought of having actual biological grandchildren and, while he'll understand how we managed to do this, if something happens..."

"Baobei, nothing is going to happen," Daniel said, fighting down the guilt because he knew he was the reason she was always so certain something awful was going to happen; all the times he had died, or been presumed dead. The months and months she had spent without him had robbed her soul - piece by piece - of any sense of security. The experience had robbed him of his own insane bravado while leaving him with a cold certainty that he would do whatever was necessary to keep her safe.

In surviving that and in commiting to stay together after that they had forged a love strong enough to sustain them both.

"You keep saying that, but we don't really know that. Just a few more weeks and I'll tell him, okay?"

"Okay, but I feel really weird when I talk to him and he doesn't know.

"I know and I do too, but just a little while longer until I feel more sure."

"Anything you want," he answered, anxious to put the smile back in her eyes. He didn't have the strength to refuse her.

She gazed at him for a moment in mute gratitude for his support and finally did smile. She pushed some lettuce and cheese and meat together on her plate. Then said,

"I did change my mind about one thing," she said.

Daniel had just put a forkful of food in his mouth, which gave him a chance to take a breath as he chewed and swallowed, slowly and thoughtfully.

"Oh, yeah?" He said, trying to sound nonchalant.

"About talking about names," she said.

That had him reaching for his water glass and taking a long drink before continuing.

"This have anything to do with my trip to Russia last week?"

"Yes," she answered with the utter candor that had made their relationship work from the beginning. "I realized that if something happened to you I honestly have no idea what it is you want to name our son; and it must be important to you because you keep bringing it up."

"You honestly don't know?" he asked.

"No I really don't; and again, honestly, I don't know what I want so I'd be delighted to hear what's so important to you," she was smiling as she said it and looking confused and little helpless. It was so adorable he wanted to kiss her.

"You don't know what you want?" That surprised him.

"No," she said, sheepishly. "I think I know what I want for his middle name but not his first. Is that the most un-maternal thing you've ever heard?"

Daniel was gazing at her like she was the most amazing thing in the world.

"Of course not. You've been devoted to taking care of yourself since the Asgard beamed us back; and you're going to be a fantastic mother."

"It's like I haven't thought about it, just nothing seems right. So what do _you_ want?"

"There's only one thing I've wanted since I first started thinking about this."

"And that is?"

"Johnathan."

Jillian inhaled softly. "Oh god that's perfect."

"Really?"

"Yes. The minute you said it, I knew it was perfect."

"You're sure?"

"Of course. I don't always understand the relationship between you and Jack but I know you'd walk through fire for each other. I'm not sure I want two 'Jack's' in the family though."

"No and Jack Jackson is a little awkward. But John is fine, or Johnny."

"Or JD," Jillian said.

"Jay...Dee?" Daniel repeated.

"Yes, his initial. Johnathan Daniel."

He sat back and looked stunned for a moment and Jillian seized the opportunity. Daniel speechless was a rare event. "You get to pick the first name and Daniel is all I ever wanted for his middle name. I can't imagine ever calling anyone else that. Daniel is and will always be _you_. But you did all this and I want him to carry your name in some way."

"I thought you were going to want Alexander," Daniel said.

"And I was half afraid you were going to want Melbourne! Or Nicholas, though I could have lived with Nicholas."

"No, not Melbourne. From what I read in my father's diaries and journals he hated his name."

"So it can be Johnathan Daniel and make us both happy?"

"As long as it stays our secret until after the paperwork is signed."

"Any particular reason?"

"I suspect Jack is going to argue with me," Daniel shook his head in a rueful way. "Jack would argue with me about the exact shade of blue in the sky. I know he'll argue with me about this."

Jillian studied him for a moment, knowing that Daniel would just as easily have it out with Jack over the shades of blue in the sky. It was part of why she never really understood their relationship.

"Just between us," she assured him. "It's perfect, Daniel. I should have known you'd find another way to make this perfect."

Daniel watched her eat out of the corner of his eye and tried not to let her catch him. It had been a remarkable year, one in which they had been together nearly every day, at peace in their hearts and as one in their love.

They finished their meal, cleaned up in comfortable, domestic bliss and when the last plate was in the dishwasher, Daniel caught her in his arms again and said,

"Is this really what you want, Jill?"

She tipped her head back and smiled up at him.

"It's all I've ever wanted forever, Daniel. You know that."

(0)


	154. Chapter 154

They had just recently replaced the downstairs couch with a new one. It was fairly huge, the biggest they could find without going to a sectional. It was dark brown leather and it was perfect for quiet evenings watching the big screen TV ( and for making love, and for the long sweetly lethargic time afterwards.)

Daniel was currently slouched in the corner with one elbow propped up on the oversized arm and the TV remote held loosely in his hand. He was thumbing slowly through a video of a council meeting on 672, one frame at a time. He had headphones on and the sound was currently being routed strictly through those. Jillian was stretched on her side with her head pillowed on Daniel's leg and hip reading through his notes on the illusive language.

Daniel's other arm was along her body. His hand rested heavily on her hip. His fingers were barely brushing against her lowers abs, protective of the child they had moved heaven and earth to create, now growing safely beneath her heart.

From time to time she would stroke his hand with her fingers and their eyes would meet and they would smile with the same deliciously held secret. Daniel would have to drag his eyes back to the big screen or be lost in silent, helpless adoration. In eight years of alien exploration and Ascended Light he had never felt anything even close to this much wonder.

It seemed to Jillian that two years ago Daniel would have been on his feet in front of the TV, pacing back and forth without taking his eyes off the screen, thinking out loud and gesturing with his hands. Now he was concentrated, content to sit with her and work with intensity. His body was still except for the comforting thrumming of his pulse. She was aware of him, of warmth and flesh and bone, the iron-muscled strength of his arm draped with careless possession along her side.

She was also aware that, in spite of having stayed in bed until noon, she had read the same passage of Daniel's notes three times and she was getting very sleepy.

Jillian leaned forward just enough to toss his notebook onto the coffee table - where his feet were propped - and then snuggled back onto the couch, back under his arm. She linked her fingers with his to form a protective shelter for their son, sighed happily and closed her eyes.

He pulled the headphones off and paused the TV.

"What's wrong?" Daniel asked. His thumb was making a small, gentle circle on her hand.

"Nothing," she answered, without opening her eyes. "I'm just tired. Do you mind if I take a nap?"

"Why would I mind?" he asked, honestly mystified, "Your body is working harder than mine just sitting here. Take whatever kind of rest you want."

Jillian made another contented sound and eased her head into a more comfortable spot.

"Do you want a blanket?" he asked.

"No," she smiled a little, feeling deliciously safe, completely unworried. She was also softly aroused by the nearness of his body but in a way that could keep until she had more energy to do something about it. "I'm perfectly warm. Just stay like this for me."

He bent over and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"Always," he promised.

(0)

When she woke, Daniel's left arm was still over her but his knee was drawn up to support a clipboard and legal pad and he was making notes without looking at the page. His eyes were glued to the TV screen.

Jillian knew without asking that he had cracked the mystery surrounding the language of 627. Something in his level of being alert, his energy, the concentration of his entire being like a hound on a scent. His glasses had slid halfway down his nose but he didn't appear to notice. She stretched, sat up and that got his attention.

"Sleep well?" he asked.

She pushed his glasses back into place.

"Yes," she answered as he leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead that was lighter than a sprinkle of fairy dust.

She inhaled the strong, clean, masculine scent of him and tilted her head back to invite his kiss lower.

"I won't break," she said. Looking up her expression melted into tolerant, amused, gentle adoration.

_Daniel; sweet, dear, brilliant, legendary Daniel…._

He leaned closer until his lips, full and soft and more delicious than she had ever imagined, were a single breath away from hers.

"I know," he whispered and the rich cadence of his voice was heavy with love and soft laughter just before he kissed her. He coaxed her mouth open with a sultry thrust of his tongue and the kiss sent a wave of hot desire sliding through her body and curling her toes. The kiss was warm and sweet, without any pressure behind it for more. It didn't matter. She was hungry for Daniel all the time now, hungry for his touch, hungry to be near him. If he so much as touched her she was ready for him.

They nuzzled face to face, nose to nose, eyes closed, breathing each other for a moment. She could feel his eyebrows against hers, the brush of his bangs, the whisper of his eyelashes.

"You did it, didn't you?" Jillian asked, brushing her lips over his again.

"It?" Daniel repeated.

"You found out what keeps the Gate from translating the spoken language and what's making the written text so impossible," she said, certainly.

He smiled. "Yeah, I did."

_Brilliant Daniel…_

She smiled back and then sat up, pushing disheveled hair off her face.

"Tell me," she urged, her scientific curiosity overwhelming her desire for Daniel.

He didn't answer right away and she saw him shift gears to 'professor.' He put the TV screen in reverse for a moment.

"Watch," he said. "Listen for the word 'indria' and watch."

Daniel never gave her the answers. He never robbed her of the joy of discovering for herself what he already knew.

_He's going to be an amazing father, _Jillian thought.

"Who says it?" she asked, focusing on the frozen image on the TV screen.

"The guy just to the left of the Lead Councilman."

He hit play and watched her closely.

"Did you see it?" he asked.

"He makes a hand gesture when he says the word, but…."

"No wait," Daniel interrupted. He forwarded to another moment during the meeting and started play again.

Jillian listened carefully for the word and watched as one of the women seated at the table made an entirely different gesture when she said it.

Daniel paused the video.

"People talk with their hands, Daniel," Jillian said, "That's something Universal."

"No this is different. Watch how they look at each other when they speak. No one is doodling, taking notes, looking at the floor or the ceiling or out the window. They hardly blink."

"You're saying they have to watch for the accompanying gesture to know the exact meaning of the word? The words change with the hand signs?"

"Yes," Daniel said as if it had already been proven to him beyond a doubt and the rest of the world would just have to catch up as fast as it could. "It explains why the Gate can't translate. I don't know exactly how it even picks up the words to begin with and maybe Sam can enlighten us about that. But it can't see the hand signals or body language."

Jillian had taken the remote from him while he was talking, turned the sound off and was simply watching the Council meeting in silence, seeing the intense way they watched each other and the frequency of the hand signals. She turned it off and shifted on the couch to look at Daniel.

"This is going to take some of your best people to unravel. There could be thousands of different meanings to a single word."

"_You're_ my best person," he said.

Jillian frowned. "I'm not going through the Gate, Daniel," she said, "We agreed to that."

Daniel didn't meet her eyes. He began gathering papers and putting them on the coffee table.

"No," he said in a steel edged voice, "You're not going through the Gate."

Jillian swallowed tightly. She knew that voice and had no desire to unleash the force behind it. Dr. Jackson, the scholar and professor, had just left the building. This was the warrior he had become, the man who would lay his own life down for her; the man she would never willingly provoke. Besides, there was no need. The only thing that would drive her through the Gate right now would be a threat to Daniel's life.

Daniel was still the most important thing in all the world to her.

He rested his elbows on his knees, clasped his hands in front of him. Head down and tilted slightly, looking at her, he said, "But you can work from here or the Base, on video documentation; and I can assign you a staff that will give you full cooperation. If you're up for it."

"Yes," she said, instantly, "I am. I want to."

She was reaching for the pile of notes when his hand shot out and grasped her wrist.

"One condition," he said.

"What?" she asked.

"I know how important this is to your Dad, and how much you'll want to do this to help him. You have to promise me you won't overdo this, rest when you should, eat when you should. No late nights. No falling asleep at the desk."

"Of course!" she said, but her tone was exasperated affection, "You know how much I want this baby. I'm not doing anything to jeopardize that."

"Good," Daniel the warrior said, cupping the back of her head and pulling her towards him for a kiss that was hot, wet, deep and not at all tame.

"What about you?" she asked, though she was breathing heavily with the beginning of arousal.

"What about me?" he asked.

"You said you would stay home, be more careful."

"I have!"

"You're leaving tomorrow."

Daniel sat back and studied her carefully. "It's for Teal'c. I'm just going to observe."

"Why do you have to do it?"

"Because if we observe something that maybe shouldn't be done, there's a small chance Teal'c might actually listen to me or Sam. I'm not sure we could say that about anyone else in the SGC, except maybe Jack and he can't go."

"But he can order you to go."

"He didn't order me. He asked and I said yes. Because it's Teal'c and he might need the input of someone who isn't as emotionally invested in the rebellion."

Jillian bit down on her protest. That much was true. Teal'c was unusually passionate about the rebellion now that it seemed success was within their grasp.

"Come on, Jill. Jack isn't going to ask me to do anything dangerous now," Daniel's voice was coaxing.

"Jack is a General in the US Air Force, in command of one of its most important programs. He'll do whatever he has to do."

"_Malyshka,"_ Daniel murmured, offering her the liquid sounding Russian endearment, "I'm just there to observe and neither Teal'c nor Sam will let anything happen to me. I'll be perfectly safe."

Jillian gave him a searching look, one that was full of longing, the slightest hint of anguish and a resigned kind of aggravation. "You'll come right back?"

"Yes," he said, certainly, "You'll be waiting for me?"

"Always," she answered.

Daniel shifted on the couch, moved towards her and leaned over her, bending her backwards. He kissed the concern from her mouth and chased it out of her eyes with roaming hands and the hard press of his body over hers. Jillian arched up against him and made that soft helpless whimpering noise that only he could produce.

"We should take this upstairs," he said with his lips against her neck.

"Why?" she whispered, cupping his neck and falling backwards, pulling him with her. "We have a perfectly good couch right here."

(0)


	155. Chapter 155

**Jillian deals with Reckoning, parts 1 and 2.**

**(0)**

They filed out of the Gate Room behind Jack and Jacob, grim and determined, mute with fear and frustration.

"So," Jack said, over his shoulder to Teal'c and Sam, "Have you decided which one of you is going to tell Jillian?"

His tone was like a gun with the safety off. It said _You lost him. You tell his wife._

Sam stumbled and Teal'c caught her by the elbow until she got her feet under her again. She swallowed tightly even as she shot him a grateful look.

"I sort of thought that you would do that. Sir," she said in the same breath that Teal'c said, "I will tell her."

Then Sam looked at him in surprise. "You will?"

Teal'c inclined his head in a short nod. "He would want me to."

Sam swallowed again and then squared her shoulders. "Okay. I'll go with you."

In front of them, covering concrete in ground-eating, frustrated strides Jack said, "Glad we got that straightened out. She's in Daniel's office."

(0)

As they got closer to Daniel's office, Sam felt her resolve slipping. She just didn't know how to explain what had happened, or the guilt she was feeling over it.

She didn't want to be the one delivering earth-shattering bad news to her best friend.

_Damn it, Daniel,_ she thought and not for the first time.

Jillian was seated at the table, perched on a stool, hunched over with her cheek resting on her curled fist staring at her laptop and making notes on a legal pad. She sat straight up when Sam and Teal'c appeared in the doorway.

Sam braced herself and wished she was 'Gating into enemy territory instead.

"Where's Daniel?" Jillian asked.

Teal'c, with his customary direct approach, replied, "He has been abducted by the Replicators."

Silence fell like an axe. Sam shot Teal'c an angry look, appalled that he would tell her with no preliminary. She took a step towards Jillian, uncertain, waiting for the tears to start. This was a woman who could be brought to tears by a dog food commercial.

But Jillian seemed robbed not only of speech but of any semblance of life. She sat encased in stillness, her face deathly white and her eyes closed. Sam stopped, afraid to get any closer lest Jillian shatter into a thousand pieces.

She opened her eyes finally, deep green fringed in black-tipped lashes, seeking Teal'c and staring at him with terrifying intensity.

"What happened?" she asked, with an icy calm that sent a chill up Sam's spine.

With Teal'c delivering the news as if it was a military report and Sam filling in blanks with what she hoped was sympathy and _anything _that would soften this, they told Jillian what had happened from the moment the other ship had appeared until Daniel was beamed away. They stopped finally and waited for Jillian to react.

When she did it was as if the sun had set fire to the world. She still didn't move but she blazed with a furious inner light.

"They want him for the Ancient knowledge they think he has," she said.

"Yes," Sam and Teal'c said in unison.

Stumbling over words, Sam tried to explain the current Replicator attacks on the Goa'uld and what her duplicate wanted from Daniel.

Jillian's eyes closed again and for one brief moment she seemed to be swallowing a passionate rage. She muttered something under her breath that neither of them caught and probably wasn't English. Her jaw clenched and her backbone straightened. She opened her eyes again, dropped one hand to her midriff and held it there.

"Are you all right?" Sam asked, anxiously.

Grief burned in Jillian's expression but she held her ground. Her face was still pale as a diamond but her composure had not been shaken.

"No," she admitted and suddenly Sam understood why Teal'c had been so blunt with her. Like Daniel, Jillian preferred her truth unvarnished.

"What can we do?" Sam asked.

"Find him," Jillian answered.

"We'll do everything we can," Sam told her, "You already know that."

Jillian looked once again, hard, at Teal'c.

"They'll hurt him," she said and for the first time showed a terrible vulnerability, her courage slipping.

"They cannot get what they want from him with traditional interrogation methods," Teal'c replied.

Jillian's eyes shot towards Sam. "She'll go into his mind."

Sam ground her teeth. "Probably."

A deep hush blanketed the room, broken when Teal'c finally closed the distance between them and laid his hand on Jillian's shoulder. A shudder went through her and she reached up and curled her arm around his, seeking an anchor, her hand clutching at his forearm.

"Hear me," Teal'c said in a steady rumble. "If they go into his mind they will meet him where he is strongest. They will run into the solid wall that is Daniel Jackson. He will never allow them access to that kind of information and if they do find it, he will find a way to use it against them. You are not married to a mere man, Jillian Jackson. You are married to a force of nature. I believe the Replicators will come to regret ever bringing him into their midst."

_We all love him,_ Sam realized, _Teal'c and I love him like a brother, more than our own families in some ways; and he is Jillian's whole existence._

"Teal'c is right," Sam said, quickly. "We all know how he is, how stubborn."

Jillian looked up at Teal'c with her heart in her eyes.

"I believe," Teal'c said, "that Daniel Jackson will do everything in his power to keep you safe and to return to you."

"I know," Jillian said, softly, "That's what scares me."

(0)


	156. Chapter 156

He must have blacked out for a while. When he woke up he was still strapped to the wall though his head was free; and he was no longer alone in the metal room.

To his utter horror, Jillian was chained to the wall opposite his. She was slumped over, unconscious. There was a dark bruise on her cheek. The flash of blind, passionate rage that swamped Daniel fired him into fury.

He thought he had been terrified when she had been sucked into a pit on 657 and when SG8 had gone missing for almost 36 hours on 912 and then again when she and Sam had disappeared down a well for hours that had seemed like days.

But now fear reached deeper, into black depths that he had never imagined existed. It fueled an anger that burned him from the inside out.

"_Jillian_," he hissed through his teeth, "_Wake up."_

When she didn't move he hollered at her, shouted louder than he had ever shouted at her.

"_JILLIAN_!"

Her head jerked as if she had been slapped, then lifted. She blinked and focused on his face, gasping his name.

"Daniel."

"Are you all right?"

"Yes. I think so."

"You think so?"

"Yes. It's hard to tell exactly but I think everything is fine."

"How did you get hurt?"

She looked confused. "I don't know. I don't remember."

"How did you get here?" he demanded, trying hard to rein in his temper. It wasn't her fault, any more than it was his. They lived in a world where their enemies and the allies could both beam them away at will.

"I'm not sure," she said, looking around, testing the restraints on her wrists. "I was working in the lab on the translation for 672 and then I was standing in front of ….well, I thought it was Sam at first. But obviously it wasn't."

"No," Daniel growled, bitterly, "It's her duplicate, her human form Replicator."

"What does she want?"

"What does anyone ever want from me anymore? The Ancient Knowledge."

He watched tears gather in her eyes and cling to her lashes like tiny translucent pearls. He surged forward against his restraints, needing to hold her, touch her. It was useless.

"Then let her have it, Daniel. _Please."_

"You know I can't!"

"You have to try," her lovely voice broke and his heart broke with it.

"Even if I could access those memories I can't let her have them!" Frustration shaped his voice, " You _know_ that."

A voice, familiar and beloved but now terrifying, interrupted them.

"Then you condemn your wife and unborn son to pain and suffering until you reconsider."

*Sam* appeared, bleeding out of the wall, shifting from metal geodesics into human form. Jillian inhaled sharply and tried to press deeper into the wall behind her. Daniel's hands balled into fists and he tried pushing forward again. The metal cuffs bit into his wrists.

His voice was an unsheathed blade of ice and steel and anger. "If you hurt her I'll kill you."

"Brave words," *Sam* replied. "But I don't see how you can stop me."

"Oh, I'll find a way," Daniel promised, low, deadly.

*Sam* smirked at him, strolled casually over to Jillian and backhanded her across the face.

Jillian cried out and then said Daniel's name in a heartrending sob. *Sam* turned and gave Daniel a look of triumph. With one hand she reached towards Jillian and closed her inhuman fingers around Jillian's throat. Daniel watched as Jillian struggled to take a breath, and then another. But one twist, one hard squeeze and her throat would be crushed while he watched. She was shaking as if she was possessed.

"You see?" *Sam* purred. "What happens to her now is entirely up to you."

"Daniel, just _let_ her," Jillian begged, gasping for air. "Don't fight it. Give her what she wants. I want to go home."

Daniel's eyes narrowed. He ignored *Sam* and stared intently at Jillian.

"_Nǐ shì shuí?"_ He asked.

Jillian blinked. "What?"

"_Dāng wǒmen dì yī cì wěn."_

Jillian gazed back in frustration, with tears falling like rain. "_Daniel_ …. Daniel, this is no time for games."

"You're not my wife," he said, in that same low lethal tone. "I don't know who, or what you are, but you're not my wife."

Daniel looked at *Sam* again.

"My wife is fluent in Mandarin," he said, "and she wouldn't be standing there crying and begging me to go along with you. She'd be madder than a wet cat, telling me to do whatever I had to do to stop you and cursing like a Chinese sailor."

_And I kept you from knowing all that,_ Daniel thought, watching to see if she could pick up that thought. There was no change in the Replicator's expression, no indication that she had 'heard' him. Daniel felt a surge of hope that he repressed lest she sense it. She couldn't go everywhere in his mind and he knew that now.

He also knew that this Replicator didn't actually know everything _his_ Sam did.

*Jillian* vanished into the wall as if she had never existed. Daniel thought he might collapse in relief. Shudders raced up his spine that he controlled with supreme effort.

But he knew a grim sense of satisfaction. *Sam* still had control over him, but at least not that kind of leverage. He forced all thoughts of Jillian and their child to the back of his mind, banished them into a kind of oblivion and forced himself, muscle by muscle, sinew by sinew, to relax and concentrate. His hands uncurled one finger at a time.

*Sam* took a step towards him, her face a mirror of the rage in his soul.

"Bring it," Daniel said, "You want to go inside my head, then all right. Let's go."

She came closer and he braced himself, physically and mentally, shaking inside from the sheer effort of holding onto his self-control.

Then the world dissolved and he was standing in a tent on Vis Uban, wearing blue robes and wondering what the hell was going on.

(0)


	157. Chapter 157

**Jillian continues to deal with Reckoning.**

**(0)**

Sam paused at the doorway to Daniel's quarters and then knocked hesitantly. Jillian's voice said, "Come in," so Sam pushed the door open. She found Jillian sitting on the bed hugging a stuffed lion and staring at the floor. She looked like she was floating in some paralysis, detached from reality.

"Oh god, Jill," Sam said. She crossed from the door to the bed and sat down next to her. "I'm so sorry."

Jillian turned and looked at her. She was so pale her skin was almost translucent, like fine porcelain. She looked like she would bruise at a harsh glance. There was a genuinely blank look in her eyes.

"For what?"

Sam's voice was grim, heavy with self-recrimination. "For not destroying her when I had the chance."

Jillian didn't react except to raise her eyebrows, though she seemed to hug the lion a little tighter.

"Right," she said, sardonically, "because you're suddenly clairvoyant and knew that she would one day kidnap Daniel."

Sam looked down, twisted her hands in her lap and bit down on her lower lip.

"Look, Sam," Jillian said, "I'm dealing with too much to handle your guilt too. I can't right now. If you want, someday in the far future we'll go out and get drunk together and hash all this out. But I just can't right now. I need you too much. Okay?"

Sam lifted haunted eyes to her friend's and then nodded.

"Okay."

"I'll just say this – I don't blame you. I never have and I never will; and neither will Daniel. If you want to start throwing around blame we can go all the way back to Daniel shooting his way through a window into a lethal dose of radiation. A good case could be made that this all started all the way back then; and if not then all the way back to Daniel first connecting with Oma Desala over Shifu. I don't want to do that. We all love each other too much to start pointing fingers. Don't we?"

Sam couldn't keep from reaching out and hugging her. She wasn't sure she believed Jack's absolutions and she hadn't really known how much she needed Jillian's.

"Yeah we do. It's going to be okay, Jill. I promise."

Something in Sam's tone alerted Jillian that something was going on.

"So what have you been assigned to do?"

"Work with the Asgard."

"Be careful," Jillian said.

"I will," Sam replied automatically.

"No, I mean it," Jillian said. "Teal'c is walking into a dangerous situation. You'll be off with the Asgard. SG8 is on military stand-by and I won't be going with them. I need to know you'll be careful."

"I will," she said again, more emphatically. Wanting to change the subject she gestured to the plush lion in Jillian's lap, the one she hadn't stopped hugging. "What's this?"

Jillian's smile was soft and misty. "It was a gift from Daniel; one of those spur of the moment, no reason for it gifts."

"Aww," Sam said. "He's really more romantic than he lets on, isn't he?"

"He said it was to remind me that in the story Daniel walked safely out of the lion's den. I guess I just needed to remember that right now."

Sam squeezed her hand. "He will."

For the first time Jillian looked up and met her eyes squarely. Sam gazed into raw, undiluted vulnerability. "I have to believe that, Sam. I don't have any choice."

(0)

The next person to visit Jillian found her in the office and didn't bother to knock. Dr. Alexander North, SGC Ambassador at large, simply walked into the room proclaiming,

"My _god_, Jillian, are you all right?"

Startled and battle-trained, Jillian shot to her feet and reached for a sidearm that wasn't strapped to her leg. Even as adrenaline surged through her she felt an accompanying sense of relief at the sight of her father.

"Dad! You scared me. Yes, I'm fine."

Alexander skidded to a halt in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders, gazing anxiously into her eyes.

"I don't see how that's possible," he challenged.

"What are you doing here?" Jillian asked almost in the same breath.

Alexander winced inside, his heart contracting around a painful truth. His lovely daughter was much too used to handling the crisis in her life without him. She had not been the one who had called him. It had probably never occurred to her to disturb him in his work. Her mother had been the same way – calmly dealing with whatever she'd had to face no matter where in the world they had been.

There was no mistaking the flash of hurt in his expression but his tone was steady. "My son-in-law has been kidnapped by aliens – and that isn't anything I ever thought I would hear myself say. But where else would I be?"

Jillian swallowed the annoyance that tried to crawl up inside her. She didn't have the time or energy to deal with everyone else's guilt and hurt; and it actually hadn't occurred to her to call her father away from an important mission. She didn't remember her mother ever doing such a thing.

"That isn't what I meant. I know that if you found out you would come. I just didn't expect you to find out. The last I heard the talks on 8192 had completely stalled and you were needed there. Who told you?"

"General O'Neill had me recalled. I just came from his office. He told me where to find you. I thought you'd be glad to see me."

Jillian almost sighed. Of course Jack would do something like that and he had an almost preternatural way of knowing exactly where everyone on the Base was located at any given time. She sat back down at the desk and said,

"I am, Dad. There's just a lot going on. Daniel expected to be back and I'm trying to figure out just exactly what he was working on and what the staff needs to be doing."

_Trying to keep her mind occupied and her hands busy so she could ignore her heart throbbing with longing….._

"Sounds like you could use a break," her dad said, gently, "Why don't we go get something to eat?"

At the thought of food, Jillian's stomach executed a perfect barrel roll. She had to swallow a few times to get it under control. She glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly dinner time. She'd forgotten to eat at lunchtime.

"No. That's okay," she said, looking away and moving some papers around on the desk, trying to sort Daniel's notes into some kind of order.

"Then what do you want me do, Baby Girl?"

The sadness in her Dad's voice made her look up at him. In that moment she realized just how really glad to see him she was. She no longer felt the sense of reasonable terror that had plagued her all day; and she knew exactly what she needed him to do.

"I want to go back to the house but I don't want to go alone. Will you stay with me for…I don't know how long, Dad. But will you stay with me?"

Relief to be needed and given something solid to do flooded Alexander's being.

"Of course," he said, instantly, "We'll have to stop at the condo to pick up a few things, but I'd be delighted to do that for you."

Jillian had to swallow again at the thought of seeing the condo – Daniel's condo, the one they were renting to her Dad, the one that had been the scene of so much of their early relationship. _The first place we made love…._

She'd just wait in the car.

"Yes, that's fine," she said, then took a long deep breath before saying, "Dad, if you're going to be staying with me there's something I need to tell you."

"Oh god," there was no mistaking the trepidation in his tone and the way his eyes widened and then narrowed. "There's something worse than my son-in-law being abducted by aliens?"

"No! No, it's actually not anything bad. I just… This isn't how I thought I would be telling you. For one thing, I thought it would be later and for another, Daniel should be here. But…. Dad, I never thought I'd even be saying this to you but…. I'm pregnant."

Then she spent a long silent moment staring into her father's shocked eyes. Alexander North went absolutely still except for a tiny, almost imperceptible trembling of his hands. In a strangled voice he asked,

"How is that possible?"

"Daniel," Jillian began and then had to stop because the agony of not knowing his fate was suddenly overwhelming.

"Of course, Daniel. He's your husband," her father said, impatiently, "That's not what I meant. Is there some new alien surgery I don't know about?"

"No," Jillian said, trying to shake off the sudden chill, "not just that he's the father. Of course he is. He….He knew how much I wanted to have a child with him and how impossible it was and he said he'd find a way. He did. He went to the Asgard."

"The Asgard," Alexander repeated blankly.

"Yes. Of all our allies they know the most about genetics and DNA sequencing. Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard forces, flies around in a ship named _The Daniel Jackson._ He asked them to help and the best I can tell you is that they created this child from Daniel and me and then… Well, I think they _beamed_ it in. But as of a few hours ago when I was checked by Dr. Brightman everything is fine," she paused and smiled softly, "You're going to be a grandpa."

"Oh my god," he whispered, awestruck. "_Jillian_."

He father seemed so honestly stunned that Jillian stood up again and walked over to him. The next thing she knew she was being cradled in his arms like something made of spun sugar.

"Is that why you looked like you were going to be sick a moment ago when I asked if you wanted to eat?" he asked. His throat was tight and dry.

"Yes. For some reason I'm fine when I wake up and fine all day but I get horribly sick at dinner. Why? Daddy what's wrong? Are you crying?"

He let her go and she could tell that yes, her father's eyes were moist with unshed tears.

"The same thing used to happen to your mother," he said, sounding misty and happy and sad at the same time.

Jillian's heart did a small flutter. "It did?"

"Yes," Alexander wiped his eyes on the back of sleeve with a small, self-deprecating laugh, "Yes. She'd be fine all day while I was working and I'd come home and find out she'd cooked dinner. But then she couldn't even look at it, much less eat it. I went without an evening meal for quite a while because I felt so guilty eating when she couldn't."

Jillian was fighting her own tears, the way she always did when they talked about her mother.

"Daniel makes me eat at noon and he eats with me if he can. There's no way I can eat in the evening right now."

Alexander drew her into another brief, tender hug. "Your mother had a series of miscarriages before you came along. She was willing to go through whatever it took to have you."

"She did?" Jillian was honestly shocked, "No one ever told me that."

Alexander shrugged. "It's not the kind of thing my generation was encouraged to talk to their children about. We have to wonder if the cancer wasn't working even then. But it's another reason you were – you _are_ – so precious to us. You defied a lot of odds to cling stubbornly to life and become part of our lives. I love you, Baby Girl and I'm _so_ happy for you."

"Everything would be perfect if only Daniel….." Jillian stopped and bit down on her lip to stop the tears. Her voice broke,"Oh, Dad I just don't know what to do."

"Of course you do," he said, hugging her again and swaying slightly. Jillian had a sudden flash of memory, of being a little girl, held in those same arms and swaying as they danced around a faceless kitchen. "You take care of yourself and the baby so that Daniel finds you both safe and well when he finds his way home."

"Do you think he will, Dad?" Jillian asked, hopefully.

"Of course I do, Jill," he answered, "and you should too. He always has."

(0)


	158. Chapter 158

The footsteps in the hall outside his office alerted Jack that she was coming long before she appeared in the doorway. He knew her footsteps almost as well as he knew his own team's, certainly the way he could pick out almost anyone on the Base.

He had his eyes on the door as she came into view. She didn't seem surprised.

"Do you have a minute?" Jillian asked. "I bypassed Walter."

"I do that all the time," Jack said, "Come on in. Sit."

When she was settled in the chair across from his desk, Jack asked, "How are you feeling?"

She looked inward for a moment, carefully considering her answer. Jack didn't push her. Jillian wasn't one for polite conversation or canned answers. Maybe it was because she was a scientist but it was something Jack had come to respect about Daniel's wife.

"Physically, I'm fine," she said, finally and then paused again.

Jack waited, content to let her get her thoughts in order, waiting to find out what she wanted.

Though he suspected he knew.

"I wanted to talk to you because I think you're the only person who may agree with me….other than Teal'c and he's not here."

"About Daniel," Jack said, bluntly.

"Yes."

"It's only been four days," Jack said, "I've had people MIA for much longer than that. Hell, I've had _him_ MIA for longer than that."

Her wide, too-green eyes studied him.

"MIA? So you don't think he's dead."

"I didn't say that," Jack said, and wondered if he could win a battle of semantics with a ph.d'd linguist.

It was obvious he couldn't and he suddenly didn't want to try.

"You think he Ascended," Jillian said.

Jack sat back in his chair and returned her stare for stare.

"I think he Ascended. I think he Ascended and destroyed the Replicators and then he went after Anubis. I think he figured out he could do this about two seconds after Carter's duplicate grabbed him when he, probably correctly, realized she would kill him as soon as she either A) got what she wanted from him or B) found out she couldn't get what she wanted from him." He watched her carefully to make sure she wasn't getting upset but her composure remained flawless.

"That's what I believe too," she said, softly.

"Then he'll be back," Jack said, just as softly. "He has the ability now."

"Then where _is_ he?" As he watched her composure slipped a little. "You just said it's been four days."

Jack's spine straightened a little and he sat forward, putting his palms flat on the desk.

"Daniel always comes back," he said, not giving her a lecture, or telling her something she didn't already know. He didn't even say it to be soothing. It was matter of fact, stating the obvious. "The crazy shit that happens to Daniel, the crazy paths that Daniel chooses….," Jack paused and shook his head slightly. "You know what we do, Jillian. We go on, doing what we do, fighting the battles in front of us, trying not to get grayer or wind up on ulcer medication or _really _start drinking; and one day he turns up, and then we all go back to normal."

"Sam and Teal'c think you write him off."

"Sam and Teal'c…. don't write him off, exactly, they keep hoping and when they can they keep looking, but deep down they're willing to mourn and look for closure and then they go on. Every time."

Jillian nodded and then said, "The last time he tried to stop Anubis they stopped him and then abandoned him in the literal middle of nowhere without his memories. Jack…."

Jillian stopped when he got up, sensing he was doing something important. He went first to the door she had entered and shut it firmly. He crossed to the other door and leaned out, balancing himself with one hand on the jamb.

"Walter!"

"Yes, sir!"

"I am DND for about another ten minutes!"

"Yes, sir."

Then he shut that door and went back to his seat. Jillian glanced pointedly around the room and then back at him.

"Say what you want. The room isn't bugged and that," he paused and gestured to a cube on the shelf behind him. It was pretty nondescript and looked, if anything, like a replica of the Borg Cube from Star Trek, "is the best anti-surveillance technology the Asgard can provide."

"The Asgard?" She asked, with a lifted eyebrow.

"Daniel isn't the only one who asked them for something," he said.

"Even after they saved you from the Ancient knowledge?" Jillian asked.

"That one came out pretty even," Jack shrugged. "Say what you want."

"You're looking for him aren't you? Or someone is, on your orders."

Jack sat back again, relaxed, in command. "The last few SG teams I put together aren't exactly your typical teams," he said.

He watched her put it together. He was used to Sam and Daniel thinking at lightspeed. Jillian was perhaps just a beat behind them.

"They're Black Operatives?"

"They're Black Ops trained and experienced, yes. I recruited them myself and as far as the rest of the world knows they're just SG teams. That doesn't leave this room."

Jillian swallowed. Daniel was the one with the reputation for being the SGC's problem child, the one voted Most Likely to go Rogue at any given moment. But she wondered now if anyone knew just how far outside the rules Jack was willing to go.

But Black Ops trained and Jack O'Neill approved was good enough for her; not to mention the incredible trust he was putting in her.

"Yes, sir."

"They're looking for him, Jillian, with the best intel and knowledge of what Daniel was working on that we can find. If he's out there, we'll find him."

"_If_ he's out there?" she said.

Jack didn't answer. He continued to hold her gaze with a long steady one of his own. They both knew there were only two other options. Daniel was dead, which neither of them believed; or Daniel was Ascended and choosing to stay that way.

"He wouldn't do that, Jillian," Jack said, to her unspoken thoughts.

"It's been four days," she repeated.

"Then time doesn't pass the same way for him," Jack answered, "You know how shocked he was to find out he had been gone for fifteen months the last time." His dark eyes bored into hers. "Daniel comes back, Jillian. This time he has even more reason."

Jillian stood up, knowing she had gotten what she wanted from the meeting.

"I didn't thank you for recalling my dad. I know how important those talks were."

Jack shrugged. "We've got someone else on it. You make any progress on the translation for 872?"

"A little. It's been hard to concentrate. I've been able to teach Dad what we have so far."

"That's good," he said.

"So we keep doing what we're doing," Jillian echoed his words, "Fighting the battles in front of us."

"And we watch and we wait," Jack said, "It's all we can do." 


	159. Chapter 159

**Daniel reappears in our lives. Tag to Threads. This begins just after Daniel says 'it's a long story.'**

**(0)**

Jack went into his office and hit the speaker on his phone and then dialed Daniel's office. Daniel followed him as far as the doorway, curious. A moment later the voice that answered the phone turned his legs to water and sent his heart hammering in his chest.

"Yes?" Jillian said.

"Yeah, Jillian," Jack said, slowly. "I need you to bring some clothes for Daniel up to the Briefing Room."

There was a softly inhalation of breath and then a brief silence.

"Daniel?" She asked.

Only silence followed. Jack shot him a look that said _what the hell? Talk to her. _In the next moment he realized that Daniel was quite literally speechless. Just the sound of her voice had rendered him unable to speak or, it seemed, even to breathe.

"_Daniel!"_ He snapped and watched as Daniel jumped so badly he almost dropped the flag.

"Yeah, Jillian. It's me," he sounded as if he was speaking in between the thundering beats of his own heart.

The silence dragged at both of them.

"You know the last time you came back she fainted," Jack observed casually.

"Jill?" Daniel said, sharp and anxious.

"You remember?" Her shaking voice asked a moment later.

"Yes. I remember everything."

"Okay," she sounded dazed. "I…ummm…I'll be right there. What do you need?"

"Everything," Jack and Daniel said in the same breath.

After another breathless pause she said, "All right." There was a click as the phone connection was ended.

"Sir?" Sam's voice drew the attention of both men. She was hovering in the doorway.

"Yes?" Jack asked.

"Bra'tac wants to return to Dakara and I think I should go help Jillian."

"I think you're right. Go ahead," Jack said, gently. "Give Walter the go ahead to open the Gate for Bra'tac."

The way Daniel stood balancing on front of his feet, shoulders tipped forward, told Jack that he was on the way to following Sam in pursuit of his wife, even if it meant walking through the SGC wrapped in a flag and nothing else.

Jack put a hand on Daniel's back and shoved him back out into the Briefing Room. After saying farewell to Bra'tac Jack asked Daniel, conversationally.

"So, Replicators weren't you?"

"No that was me," Daniel answered, distractedly.

"Really?" Jack asked in the same breath that Teal'c said, "Indeed?"

Jack sat back down at the table with and slouched in his chair, looking about as nonlethal as a drowsy lion.

"You want to share how?" Jack prompted.

Daniel hedged, shifted the flag and answered, "It's kind of a long story and I just got back and I'm kind of cold… and a little hungry."

"Anubis?"

"Nope, not me," He broke off and looked impatient. "Jack, how long have I been gone?"

"A week," Jack said.

There was no mistaking the look of relief on Daniel's face. "And is Jillian all right?"

"Yeah, she's fine. We kept her busy. Her dad's been staying with her. She cracked the pattern of the sign language you two were working on."

Daniel looked like he might be the one to faint this time. The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile of quiet pride. But it didn't last.

"Is she mad at me?" He wondered out loud, looking anxiously at Jack.

Jack shrugged, looked at Teal'c, who merely lifted an eyebrow in Daniel's direction and said,

"You will have to ask her."

The sound of footsteps on the stairs made Daniel spin around. Jillian was almost running up the stairs with a bundle of his clothes in her arms, out of breath, wide eyed. She came to such an abrupt halt that Sam, running close behind, nearly ran right into her.

"_Daniel,"_ she gasped out.

Sam, carrying Daniel's work boots, eased around her and out of the way when it became obvious that Jillian was simply frozen in place.

"Are you all right?" Daniel asked.

"Yes," Jillian answered, "Everything is fine."

Daniel sagged noticeably and that set Jillian in motion somehow. She walked up to him and stood there trembling for a moment. Their eyes were locked on each other in absolute exclusive wonder; even as she put the clothes on the end of the table and then reached out to gently place her fingers on the skin of his right forearm. Her hand was shaking.

Jillian stroked a thumb over the smooth skin. Once there had been a scar from a bullet wound and the resulting surgery from the gunshot wound Jack had caused. She looked up at him and then ran the back of her hand over his left arm, where there should have been the faint trace of lines caused by the staff blast wound.

"Your scars are gone." Her voice trembled on a desperate attempt at normalcy. She smiled a little sadly. "Did you get kicked out of heaven again?"

"No," he answered instantly, "This time I walked out on my own. Eternity doesn't have anything to offer me; not compared to what I have here."

With a barely audible sob Jillian stepped into Daniel's space, put her arms up around his neck and put her forehead against his chest.

"Daniel." His name was a choked whisper of disbelief.

"Jillian." Hers was a benediction, a prayer of gratitude as his free arm went around her waist and pulled her close.

They stood there, encased in stillness, as if the rest of the world had ceased to exist.

Feeling as if he was invading their privacy, Jack needed to stop staring at them. But when he looked away he found himself looking straight into Sam's tear-filled eyes. She was clutching Daniel's boots and biting her lower lip, gazing back at him helplessly. He held that gaze for a fraction of a second longer than he should have and then looked at the desk, reaching for his pen and a pad of paper.

The moment stretched into something awkward and uncomfortable for the rest of the room's occupants. Jack finally shot Teal'c a meaningful look and the big man pushed his chair back. It scratched the floor with a teeth-gritting noise but neither Daniel nor Jillian noticed.

Teal'c walked over behind Jillian and put his hands on her shoulders. She jumped a little, looked back at him as if she had forgotten who he was.

"Let him get dressed," Teal'c said softly, encouraging her to let go with a slight press of his fingers.

Reluctantly, after looking back at Daniel and getting a slight nod, Jillian let go of him and Teal'c steered her to the table, pulled out a chair for her and pushed her gently into it. Daniel gathered his clothes and then got his shoes from Sam with a grateful smile.

As he vanished into Jack's office again, Teal'c asked Jillian. "Do you want something? Tea? Water?"

"Water, please," Jillian sounded strangled.

Teal'c poured her a glass of water and sat down beside her. Sam broke free of whatever spell had been holding her still and went to sit down beside Jack, across from Jillian. She stared pointedly at the table for a moment and then up at Jillian.

"Are you really all right?" Sam asked her.

"Yeah. It's just a lot to take in, your husband coming back from the dead after a week," Jillian took a drink, turned her dazed eyes to Jack and said, "What happened?"

"You're not going to pass out again are you?" Jack asked, mildly.

"No," Jillian shook her head and took another drink. "Did you find him?"

"No, he just showed up here," Sam answered.

"Here?" Jillian asked.

"In Jack's office," Sam went on.

"In a flag?"

"No, I had to give him the flag," Jack answered.

Jillian stared at Jack for a moment and then shared a brief, dark look with Sam that was returned with equal vehemence. Jack saw the look, made note of it, and asked the Universe in general for mercy on the soul of the first Ancient Sam and Jillian got their hands on. He knew Sam had a place of affection for Orlin. But he also knew that she considered Orlin just as much a victim as Daniel …. Or himself for that matter. He was well aware that Sam hoped they never found another Repository.

Jack let his thoughts slide sideways, far from how he felt about that. He was much too old to deal with the pain and ecstasy of an unrequited love.

Daniel picked that moment to rejoin them. His boots were still unlaced and he was just putting his glasses back on, pushing them onto his ears and wrinkling his nose to settle them in place. It was a heartbreakingly normal moment. Jillian's eyes watched with burning intensity as he walked back to the table and sat down next to her.

He slipped his arm through hers and laced their fingers together. His gaze was sidelong, head down, chin tucked.

"Mad at me?" He asked and Jack wondered if he had ever seen him look more vulnerable.

"No," Jillian said.

Daniel looked down at the table and then back at her, hesitant and skeptical; well aware of the anguish he felt he had caused her.

"Are you sure?"

"Do you remember when you came back from Tegalus?" She asked.

Daniel didn't answer right away. He got a slightly unfocused look in his eyes and then nodded.

"Yes," he drew the word out until it seemed to have several syllables and a world of meaning only they understood.

"Was I mad at you then?" Jillian asked.

"No," he said in the same way he had said yes.

They continued looking at each other for several more long meaning-filled moments. If they kissed they would set the room on alight. Warmth spread color back into Jillian's pale cheeks – a reflection of the banked fire in Daniel's eyes.

Before they could ignite an inferno Jack interrupted them.

"You want to tell us now what happened or do you want to go home first?"

"I'd love to go home, but Jillian is going to want to know what happened and I don't want to have to say it all twice." Daniel glanced at her for confirmation and got a nod. Their entwined fingers flexed as they squeezed each other tight.

Sam got up and brought Daniel a cup of coffee, fixed exactly the way he liked it. He gave her a grateful look and took a long swallow.

"Okay," he said, "You all know it started when the Replicators took me off the ship…."


	160. Chapter 160

**Wrapping up Threads.**

**(0)**

The walk back to their quarters was endless. Jack had made a general announcement that Dr. Jackson had been found – met with floor after floor, room after room, of cheers. Some people stopped and stared; others walked past Daniel with a nod and a smile and kept going as if there was nothing unusual. But some wanted to stop and speak to him and it had been all Jillian could do to keep from touching him, grabbing him and dragging him away. She didn't want to share him. She wanted him heart and soul; and her hormone-crazed body was agreeing with wild vehemence. With every fiber of her being she wanted him.

Hot flames consumed her at the certain knowledge that Daniel wanted her too.

She watched him talking easily to the latest group that had accosted them – some of his staff, a few lab techs, Nyan. His laughter and gentle voice was like music. Tall and strong and solid and _real. _Secure. Burnished bronze hair brushed across his brow. Laugh lines crinkled the corners of those unbelievably blue eyes.

The air between them sparkled like champagne. The scent of coffee and everything clean and masculine, everything _Daniel_ clung to him. She was breathtakingly aware of the shape of his hands – long fingered and square bones – and how much she wanted those hands on her.

And yet, even as she reveled in his sheer, precious mortal presence, even in the harsh fluorescent lighting there was something fey and otherworldly about Daniel. He had joined Adonis, Dionysis, Heracles and Orpheus as one of the heroes who had descended into the Underworld and re-emerged.

He glanced at her, while she waited with seeming patience at his side, her fingers inches from his hand, scorching the air between them, the pull like iron and lodestone. A deep shiver of desire coursed through her blood for the man who had chosen a lifetime with her instead of an eternity of Light.

She knew he saw it.

He politely excused himself from his adoring fans and they managed to get to the elevator and the corridor to their quarters before her phone rang.

Checking it, she gave Daniel an apologetic look.

"It's Dad," she said, and then answered it. "Dad?...Yes, I'm fine. I saw the doctor this morning, everything is fine. Dad…No, wait, listen…. Daniel's been found…. Yes, he's fine too though he's been through a lot. It's a long story….No, I don't think we need you to move out tonight! Don't' be silly. We won't be home for a few hours but wait for us….Yes, I know you want to see him. He wants to see you too." She glanced up at Daniel and got an affirmative nod. "Okay….Yeah….I love you too. We'll both see you soon….Bye."

They had walked the rest of the way to their door when Jillian clicked off the phone. For some reason when they walked into their room, she was suddenly unable to move. Daniel strolled easily over to the bed, sat down, took his boots off and sighed before he realized she was still hovering by the door. She looked as if, should she take one step forward, she would just fly into his arms and press her mouth onto his.

"You're really all right?" he asked.

Jillian nodded.

"You saw the doctor this morning?" he prompted.

"Brightman, yes," she said, "The baby is fine and yes, I've been out of my mind worrying about you and missing you but I took care of myself too. I didn't have any choice. If you really need to keep talking about this then we can but I…."

Daniel cut her off, leaping to his feet, erasing the distance between them and pulling her forcefully into his arms.

"No," he said, "I really don't want to keep talking."

She tilted her head back and he brought his head down inches from hers. She gripped his forearms with fierce desperation. Desire for him – hot and carnal - was frank in her gaze.

He moved to pin her up against the door. Still holding her with one arm, he touched her cheek with the other hand. His fingertips stroked once over her ear to brush back a lock of auburn hair that had come loose from her ponytail before reaching up to pull the band out of it. She shook her head a little as he ran his fingers through it. A sweet, smoldering shiver followed his touch.

They both knew this could have been_ that_ time, the time he didn't make it back. The time that was their last chance.

With his body molded to hers she could feel everything he hadn't said in his report – the lingering stress in the muscle and bone of his remorselessly male body, the faint hum of emotional torture. She felt it beginning to ebb as her body drew it off, grounding him to reality again.

"You're safe," she murmured.

"Yeah," he murmured in return, "I made it back; and now it's all over. It's _over_, Jillian. All of it – Goa'uld, Replicators…." His arms tightened around her. "God, I am _possessed_ by you. I can't breathe without wanting you."

"Daniel," she whispered. "Wait. You remember how I was before….before the abduction?"

Daniel nodded. He did remember. Their intimacy had been fired with even more passion than ever and she had craved him with equal intensity five minutes after having him.

Even as he watched she swallowed hard and closed her eyes.

"It's not going to take very long," she said.

He smiled, slow and sexy. The banked fire in his eyes flamed into life. "The first time," he said, bring his mouth closer, breathing on her lips, "After that we'll go slow."

His hand became gentle on her cheek and her eyes were dark with need. Then her eyes slid closed as his lips touched hers. He brushed his mouth against hers without demand, breathed, brushed again and then closed her eyes and softly kissed her.

There wasn't a sound in the room. Daniel's lips parted but held there, not demanding. Jillian let out a breath she'd been holding for a week and pressed forward to claim the kiss. For a few seconds there was nothing but their kiss –warm lips, wet tongue, hungry possessiveness, stunned relief and exquisite tenderness.

The way she was shaking, exhaling on short sobs, Daniel knew she was already worked into an arousal hot and desperate, already on the edge. He picked her up and carried her to the bed and somehow they shed clothing in between kissing and whispered endearments and dragging quilts and blankets and sheets out of the way. Daniel hissed a little as the cold sheets hit his fired body and Jillian whimpered as she tried to get under him.

"_Please_, baby," she begged.

Nothing mattered to her then but the taste and feel of him. He laid down beside her, nuzzling her neck and shoulder. His palms followed the curve of her waist down over her hips, roamed around and under her buttocks to lift and pull her close to him. His fingertips explored more curves, over her ribs and down her arms until he found her breasts and filled his hands with them. The tips rose up hard under his gentle kneading.

"Jillian, love," he whispered and started kissing his way down her body, speaking between touches of his lips. "My brave…*_kiss*_…..beautiful…_*kiss* _….incredible…_*kiss*…._precious wife."

She was helpless at this point, whimpering and gasping, tears gathering in her eyes, biting her lip. He was halfway down her body when he paused to linger over her lower belly, pressing his lips tenderly against her skin.

"_God,_ how I love you," he said, before moving to nuzzle at the triangle of soft trimmed curls at the top of her thighs, rubbing with his jaw until she parted for him.

She was so ready he knew it would take seconds. Almost the moment his tongue found its target, teasing and flirting, Jillian climaxed and he stayed gentle through it, using only his mouth. He had never found words to tell her what it meant to him, for her to find so much pleasure in his touch. He held her through the quakes and aftershocks, listened to her sobbing his name and god's.

He was hard and aching but he managed to keep kissing her, holding her, his body melded to hers through the storm of passion.

He knew exactly how long to wait before shifting them into a position to enter her lovely, sweet channel. But when he tried to turn them onto their sides Jillian's ecstatic moans turned to one of protest.

"No, no, Daniel, I need to be under you. Please."

Ordinarily it was his favorite position – claiming her, free to move, to work deep or slow or hard or fast depending on what she needed, her hands free to guide him, stroke him, her arms and legs around him. Even now the request went from his ear to his heated groin, causing a heavy throb of desire. But he had resisted it since she'd gotten pregnant, afraid to dominate her that much, afraid to put his weight on her.

She felt his hesitation and read it correctly. She stroked a hand down his chest, turned her hand over and ran her knuckles back up.

"Please, Daniel," she said, again, softly, "Hold me, let me hold you, take me, protect me."

The plea burned through his heart. It didn't help that she was now stroking his raging erection, drawing away much need blood from his brain and his ability to think.

"Always," he said, pressing his lips against her forehead, "always protect you, never never let anything happen to you."

Jillian lifted her head to offer him her mouth, which he accepted gladly. She was massaging him seriously now, pulling on what little free skin there was left on his shaft, driving his foreskin up and over the head, teasing the edge with it.

"Oh god, baby," he said, sagging against her, starting to go incoherent with arousal.

She pressed against him, urging him on top and he couldn't help himself. He took his weight on his elbows and knees, letting their bodies barely brush together – which was an amazing sensation all on its own. All the air left Jillian in a rush as his heavy, muscled, beautiful, beloved body mounted hers and they came together in a long slow delicate push. Jillian pressed her forehead against his shoulder for a moment, eyes closed, catching her breath. Daniel thrust forward and she cried out at the burst of pleasure. Cautious, trying to be careful, Daniel murmured,

"Sorry…sorry…." Fast and sharp and worried as he started to pull back out.

Jillian caught his arms, wrapped her legs tighter.

"No, no, it feels wonderful, stay there, _right there. _You would _never_ hurt me," she said and Daniel heard an echo in his mind, of a time she had said that to him before.

Daniel arched his hips and pushed again until she made the same sound, pushed his cock up into that place, firm and slow, doing what she asked for but with intense focus and control, tensed to ease off at the least indication that he was losing that control.

For Jillian, the targeted increase of pressure was like slow-motion fireworks, a blast wave, an implosion of ecstasy radiating through her body, up into her breasts, down her legs, tingling in her fingertips where they still clutched his arms, curling her toes.

"Oh, Daniel, don't stop…please…don't stop," she moaned pathetically.

"Not stopping," he swore.

She was close and getting closer

"Again," she moaned, pathetically, "right there, _Daniel_ ... "

She cried out one more time and imploded around him, hard wet muscles contracting around him. Daniel rode it, teeth gritted. His need to come was urgent but he leaned his head back to savor every nuance of expression as her drenched, powerful passage spasmed around him: the hot flush in her cheeks, the misty ecstasy in her eyes, the bright, savage joy she revealed to no one else.

Her world whited out for a moment and when she came back into herself Daniel was still working, slow and deep and insistent. It didn't take long, even though he had promised her 'slow.' It wasn't what she wanted or need. She tumbled over the edge again and this time he went with her.

In a last surge of iron-willed control he lifted off her, straightened his arms to keep from crushing her in an instinctive embrace. He was slammed into his own blessed mortality as he came in gushing pulses, fisting the sheets, hips jerking, her name a blur of sound into the scorched air.

"Jillian," he murmured finally in a semblance of coherence. He rolled onto his side, gathered her close, and let soft kisses make an attempt at expressing how he felt.

She kissed back as the tears she had refused to shed for a week ran down her face. Gentle kisses, lips to cheek, lips to lips; they brushed and nuzzled. Daniel kissed her eyelids and chin and jaw, tasting the tears that belonged to him.

"It's _over_, Jillian," he whispered, "No more things to come take me away. No more insurmountable enemies. We can have our baby. We can go _home_."

Jillian snuggled into the warmth of his embrace and let her tears drain away. His voice – his incredibly sexy, reassuring voice – made it sound like it could happen, like happily-ever-after was attainable.

Or at least, not as impossible as anything else Daniel had managed to do in the last eight years.

(0)


	161. Chapter 161

With grim, stone-cold determination Jack had wrung the last bit of detail out of Daniel concerning his abduction and what had happened while he was in the hands of the enemy. Satisfied that Daniel didn't need to be put any kind of lockdown to determine his state of mind, Jack put SG1 on stand down and sent everyone home. He knew that Daniel and Jillian lingered on the Base for several hours before taking him up on it. He knew Sam didn't take him up on it at all; neither did Teal'c. He knew the way he knew everything that happened at the SGC.

Then he shut himself behind both doors of his office with instructions that he would shoot to kill if disturbed. He cleared out a backlog of paperwork with intense, single-minded determination until he could actually see the top of his desk. He returned a dozen phone calls. He added to the report to the Pentagon on the events of the previous week with the new information given to them by Daniel. He'd told Daniel he wanted his report in two days but he suspected it would be in his email by the morning.

When he had finally exhausted all the distractions his office could provide for him, Jack went to the firing range and loaded the Replicator targets and shot them all to hell, hoping no one ever needed to take aim at the metal bastards again.

It didn't help. At all. The type of rage he was harboring wasn't so easily exorcised. He'd been so _angry_ for so long, trying to pretend that he wasn't the kind of guy who could commit genocide; pretending that Kawalsky and Sha're and every planet they had ever visited with another village burned to the ground by the Goa'uld hadn't driven him more and more into the kind of guy who could very easily commit genocide.

The hell of it was, he had watched all those things – and more, Sarah Gardner, Robert Rothman- turn Daniel into the same kind of guy; and Jack had hated every moment of it.

That was who Jack was now, who he had always been; and now the war was over and Jack knew he had to beat this rage back into submission or die trying.

By the time he had ruined the last set of Replicator targets it was very late and the SGC was staffed at the moment only by the night shift of guards and custodial personnel. He went to his quarters and changed into his sweats and running shoes. Then he made his way to the deserted gym.

(0)

Jack hadn't been worried about any surveillance that might be tracking his movements after Daniel's debriefing. After all, he was only working. All anyone would see was the normal routine of someone running a major military Base. He hadn't bargained on being watched by the only two people on the Base who would know that he wasn't acting normally.

Sam was beyond relieved, beyond elated that Daniel was back. She shouldn't still be making this about her – her guilt, her regrets. It was childish and unprofessional. She had her team back together. She had _Daniel_ back. She'd been able to hug him and touch him and know that he was real. She should be an expert at this point at shoving aside her own feelings and her own needs for the good of the….

What? The mission. The objectives. The military. The fate of the world.

None of that seemed to matter anymore with the destruction of the Replicators and the elimination of Anubis, the scattering of the Goa'uld into permanent disarray. What she had now – the most important things she had now - were the relationships she had forged over the last eight years.

She had given nothing but cool professionalism to Daniel's recounting of what her duplicate had done to him. But her heart had been throbbing with shame, twisted with regret. She had kept her eyes on the table. She didn't want it to have been _her_ to torture Daniel, using her memories against a man she loved like family.

She didn't want Daniel to see that in her eyes and she couldn't find a way to turn it into words.

She should have known he would understand it anyway.

"Sam," Daniel had said at one point, "You didn't choose to be duplicated any more than Jack chose to be cloned. It was no one's idea but Fifth's."

At the mention of the clone she'd looked up, alarmed; and then realized that was why he had said it – to get her to look at him. Her gaze flashed a warning at him. But he only looked amused. He wasn't choosing now to give away their secret, to leak what she had asked the Asgard for in exchange for her help.

He also looked calm, kind. She got the hint of a smile from him, lips twitching, but mostly blue eyes warming, sharing a secret, confident she'd get it. It was something he was good at – great at, in fact. Saying so much just by looking.

"Let it go," Daniel had said, quietly.

His voice sounded dry, amused, no resentment. Sam wondered if it was a lifetime of making adjustments to everything thrown at him that left him able to fit back into this so easily. He'd done this before in one way or the other; he'd left this planet to live on another, had come back, then left twice for a life as pure Light, and she couldn't imagine being so casual with having done any of that.

Beside her Jack was lounged back in his chair as if he was watching the basketball playoffs in his basement at home.

"Good advice," he said laconically. "You should take it."

"He's right, Sam," Jillian spoke up.

"Okay," Sam had acquiesced and then speared Jillian with a look of deep concentration, "But I'll hold you to that offer of a drink."

Jillian had smiled. Daniel had turned to look at his wife quizzically and Sam had taken that opportunity to study a profile beloved and familiar to reassure herself of his reality -glasses in place, straight nose a little blunted on the end, high cheekbones, strong jaw, startling eyes. She'd seen him turn heads – male and female – on almost every planet they'd ever visited. (Though all the men she traveled with had caused the same reaction at one time or another.) But it was everything inside him that offered up animation, life, interest, charm. Daniel's expressions were never still. His face was an object in motion that tended to remain in motion, proving Newton's First Law.

Maybe that was one of the reasons Daniel meant so much to her and why it just hurt so _much _that he had been tortured by someone who looked exactly like her.

She wondered if it was pathetic that she craved his forgiveness so much.

She was still wondering that hours after the briefing as she watched the Colonel on the screen in the bottom corner of her computer screen. She'd become an expert in hacking the security feeds in the first week of being at the SGC. Not even the switch from video to digital had slowed her down. The only thing that had her stymied at the moment was the Asgard anti-surveillance that Jack had installed. But getting around that was a matter of time; and he didn't have it on at the moment anyway.

Which meant he didn't mind who could see him.

Which might also mean he thought she was asleep in her room and not working in her quarters and watching him work through his frustrated aggression over what had happened to Daniel.

Not that she cared. She'd spied on Jack for his own good dozens of times in the last eight years. She wasn't going to stop now.

So far he was just chewing up work like a dog who had been left home alone too long with the good couch. She didn't start to get worried until he went to the firing range. But after the last of the Replicator targets had been shredded into material fit for a ticker tape parade she thought maybe he was over it.

He went to his quarters and she'd been about to turn it off, thinking he was going to bed and to sleep at last. Then he came out of his bedroom in his work out sweats and left the room

Sam sat up straighter and switched the image to full screen. It took her a while to find him again after he disappeared into the elevator.

"Now just what is it you think you're doing in the gym at 1 am?" Sam whispered to herself.

A little while later she had her answer. Fighting panic, she got up and left the lab in search of Teal'c.

(0)

There was only so much that could be deflected by sardonic humor and a feigned attitude of sleepy indifference. There was only so much rage and helplessness that could be expended on a firing range. Jack had thought that kicking the crap out of the crash pads and punching bags in that part of the gym would help take the rest of the edge off.

He tore into it with all the vengeance in his soul, barehanded, no protective gear. It took less than a five minutes for the first crash bag to start to give way under the force. There might not be anything in existence that could withstand this much frustration. It was no holds barred. No training exercise. Just Jack O'Neill against the inability to protect all the people he loved, at all times, from everything; just Jack O'Neill and the demons inside that drove him.

He had failed to destroy the duplicate when he had the chance. He had failed to find Daniel and prevent the mental torture and death that had followed it.

The crash pads became the surrogates for all that failure. He felt the first one start to give and drove his booted foot as well as his fists into it.

He was about to slam his foot into the last shred of crash pad for the third time, waiting for the pain of it as he hit the concrete wall when he was suddenly caught and spun around.

Distantly, through an icy red haze, he heard two voices shout at him in tandem.

"Sir!" "O'Neill!"

It should have been the one thing that brought him out of it but he was too lost. Jack came around powering through with his left fist, using the momentum of the spin. It was a close vicious roundhouse punch that should do damage. It would have taken some internal organs if it landed. He was already bringing his knee up as he sensed that it would be blocked. The knee was blocked, too, the head butt easily avoided, the elbow redirected with almost casual indifference.

Jack struggled for a moment longer. He knew who it was, knew who was struggling with him. He knew Teal'c wasn't fighting back, although defending against his all-out assault felt like the same thing.

"O'Neill," Teal'c said, again, in a low warning rumble.

Jack finally understood what was happening. He let it go, tried to get to his feet and realized he would have fallen if Teal'c wasn't holding him; finally realized in a moment of – _shit fucking shit_ – how much this was going to hurt when he could feel again.

He hung there clinging to Teal'c's strength for a moment, breathing hard, gasping for breath; the kind of breathing that usually meant a mortal wound.

"Sit," he begged and they slid to the floor. Jack's knees shrieked first. The rest of his body would catch up and there would be hell to pay.

Teal'c let go but stayed close enough to catch him if he started to keel over. The next moment brought another warm, familiar form to his side. Sam knelt down beside him, close, so very close.

The pain was starting to throb. His arms were trembling. His head was pounding. He was pretty sure he had a couple of broken toes announcing their presence. His knees were still shrieking and his hands were adding to a cacophony of physical misery that mixed with the pain in his soul.

But even the sweet feeling of her arms around him and the steadiness of her heart beat and breathing wasn't worth knowing he had failed to protect his team. It wasn't worth knowing the kind of man he was inside.

"I failed," Jack said. He didn't say _again, the way I failed my wife and son._

"No you didn't," Teal'c said. "I should have killed the duplicate whether you and Samantha Carter objected or not."

Sam turned her head and Jack knew she was looking at Teal'c in surprise. He also knew she was still determined to take the brunt of the guilt in this situation.

But he was in charge. The buck stopped with him. They didn't know what he had been doing. They didn't know the true nature of the newly reformed SG13, or 19, or 21 through 25. They didn't know those teams had only one purpose – covert operations. Black Ops.

They should have been able to find the duplicate. When they hadn't he – Jack O'Neill – should have gone back out there himself to find her.

He closed his eyes and then looked up and saw fear and concern in the faces of his team.

Great. He'd scared the shit out of them – though how they had even known was something he'd get out of Carter later. He was trying to figure out how to explain everything to them when Sam suddenly and without asking or hesitation put her arms around his shoulders and leaned in until his head was resting on hers.

It knocked him almost senseless, took him from panting to nearly breathless.

He could remember with complete clarity each and every time he had held Sam to comfort or support. He could count them on the fingers of one hand.

He had no memories at all of her putting her arms around him. Ever. She made a small uncertain noise that might have been a sob. Then she was holding, _holding_ him tightly. She was looking at him with those huge eyes, right down into his soul and saying, "I've got you. I've got you," and his own voice whispering back in between ragged breaths, "I know. I know."

It felt wonderful. It felt amazing. It would be worth every broken bone and drop of blood oozing in trickles from his cut knuckles.

He didn't know how to explain it to them. But as they sat together in a frozen tableau of friendship and shared misery, with Sam's arms around him and Teal'c shoulder to shoulder he knew that most likely….

He didn't have to.

(0)


	162. Chapter 162

**This will wrap up Reckoning and Threads. **

**(0)**

There was a stream of moonlight coming in through the French doors in his office. The summer night beyond the glass was warm with a slight breeze ruffling the blue spruce and lodge pole pine that edged their property. The only light in the room came from his aquarium – which Jillian had convinced him to move out of the dining room – his single desk lamp and the laptop he had opened in front of him.

It was 4am. He had woken up at 2:30am and tried to go back to sleep. At 3am he had given up and slipped as carefully as he could from the bed. Jillian had murmured something that sounded like a protest. But she had settled down when he leaned over, kissed her forehead and said,

"Go to sleep. I'm right here."

He'd placed a warm hand on her tousled hair. It generated a soft contented sigh that Daniel felt all the way to his soul. He'd stayed until he knew she had fallen back into a peaceful sleep and then left a note on the pillow next to hers in case she woke up again and found him gone.

_I am working downstairs. Don't worry. Go back to sleep. Vos amantur. Vos ero dilexit semper._

_D._

He had only one thing left to do and the whole episode could be put behind him. Exhaustion and initial relief had helped him to fall asleep in the first place. His wife's unconditional love and forgiveness had helped. The only thing she seemed upset about was that he had forgotten to come back with his wedding ring; or maybe he hadn't even thought about, or hadn't had a choice. He had sworn they would go to the jeweler and have another made immediately and she had appeared to let it go.

Now there was only the official report; and Daniel suspected that he wouldn't really be able to rest until that was done.

He leaned back and scanned the words on the screen in front of him.

_I was initially assigned to observe a rebel Jaffa attack being coordinated by Master Bra'tac and Teal'c. Instead of our expected contact the tel'tak was fired on and eventually boarded by Replicators. Before we could escape I was beamed aboard their ship and taken prisoner by the human form Replicator created by Fifth to resemble Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter._

Daniel paused and dealt mentally with the strong emotions attached to the cool, emotionless report.

There was no doubt in his mind that Sam was relieved and glad to see him. Before they had separated in the hallway she had gently touched his cheek and said simply,

"Don't die again. Okay?"

"I'll do my best," was the only answer he could give.

Their friendship had now withstood the test of time and distance, never failing. Her passion for astrophysics matched his own for all his field of expertise. She was one of the few people in the world to understand what it was like to be gifted, which had always made her the only person on his team to be completely in tune with him. She had been his bridge between science and the military and he had eventually learned that she was the same thing in reverse for Jack. He couldn't imagine now how SG1 could ever have survived as a unit without her.

Sam was one of half a dozen people in the world he trusted without hesitation. He knew without having to ask that she had done everything she could to help Jillian through their latest brush with disaster.

He had been as furious at the Replicator for imitating his beloved teammate, for trying to be her, as for anything else.

No one else could ever be Sam.

He had watched Sam/not Sam torture his wife.

And he had stared into Sam's eyes/not Sam's eyes as he had died.

Now the Replicators were destroyed. Gone. He had been partially responsible for their destruction.

It wasn't enough.

It hadn't erased the guilt in his Sam's eyes. It couldn't take away the memory of the rage he had experienced when he had believed that his wife was being held prisoner. He would never forget the breathless, heart-stopping fear that had made him feel as if he was free-falling off a cliff.

An almost surreal sense of calm and power had followed the discovery that it was not his Jillian. Just an illusion; and a bad one.

He had written enough academic papers to go on with the report without revealing any of that. He hadn't revealed any of that in the verbal debrief. There was no reason for Jillian to know that she had been held as a blade against his throat; or for Sam to know the precise scenarios that her duplicate had tried to use against him.

Perhaps, one day, in the future, alone during the casual off hours that SG1 shared more and more rarely these days, Daniel would tell Jack. He suspected Jack knew. In spite of the relaxed, almost sleepy posture Jack had affected during the debriefing, there had been a shrewd, intellectual glint in his dark eyes. Jack had been through a Replicator mind probe. He knew exactly what they were capable of doing.

There was something about Jack in that sleepy position with that look in his eyes that filled Daniel with equal parts fear and comfort.

He went back to his report.

_Using mind probe techniques, the Replicator attempted to access the knowledge of the Ancients. It was believed that I still retain that knowledge._

He stopped reading again. He _did_ retain it; or at least he had after the last time he had Ascended and returned. He had no idea right at the moment if he that was still true.

_This belief was confirmed when the Replicator was able to discover the location of the weapon on Dakara. During the mind probe I found that I was able to gain control over the Replicator hive. I shut them down for as long as I could. (See reports on the battleof Dakara by Samantha Carter.) In retaliation and to prevent me from doing it again, the human form Replicator delivered a fatal stab wound._

Daniel paused again. _That _he remembered. Of all the memories to keep from this latest adventure, he could have lived without it.

_My memories of what happened then are clouded at best. I know that I was given the choice to Ascend again and that I accepted this just long enough to return to my Earthly existence. Anubis was eventually defeated by the Ascended Being Oma Desala._

All right. That was stretching the truth a little but he didn't want the world worrying about Anubis coming back. He himself was confident that the issue of Anubis had been settled for all time. That was going to have to be good enough. This he would not even share with Jack.

He read it through dispassionately one more time and then brought up a blank email with Jack's private address. He typed a single line of message –

_Wanted to get this out of the way. _

_DJ_

Attaching the report he hit send and then closed the report, filing it away with no intention of ever opening it again.

A moment later he became aware of footsteps, a light tread, like a doe in the forest. He knew her approach better than he knew his own heartbeat. He paid closer attention to it, listened for it at all times. He was looking intently at the door when Jillian appeared.

She paused in the doorway, hesitant, looking lovelier than he could immediately process.

Bedroom tousled hair, long gorgeous legs, her body draped in a short misty green robe made of a rare silk found only on PK6-903 and those eyes…. Forest green and gilt studying him closely.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

"Indirectly," she answered and when he lifted his eyebrows she explained, "Your absence woke me."

"Ah," he said.

"Thank you for the note. It helped enormously."

"You've been through enough," he answered.

"So have you."

They stared at each other across the short space, feeling it heat, something in the air stirring. Daniel shook slightly, as if a fever had started under his skin.

"Come here," he said in a voice of gentle longing.

Bare feet still light on the hardwood floors Jillian erased the distance as Daniel turned the chair away from the desk. He pulled her down into his lap. Jillian's hands found his bare arms, slid up over the muscles to his shoulders. She was incredibly warm. So warm that her arms around him were like being embraced by the sun.

Her mouth seared, firm and moist as it touched his and for a long time there was nothing but the tender touch of lips on lips, the sweet brush of tongues.

"Come back to bed," she said, finally.

Daniel glanced at the antique clock on the book shelf and found that it was now after 5am. A short report had taken him quite a long time.

He was suddenly exhausted.

He nodded, helped her stand and then let her lead him back upstairs. Grateful to the depths of his being, he got back into bed, curled up around his beloved wife and went back to sleep.

(0)

Vos amantur. Vos ero dilexit semper – You are loved. You will be loved always.


	163. Chapter 163

**Filling in the spaces before Moebius.**

**(0)**

Daniel walked through the door from the garage, balancing the large cheese pizza box and the bag with the 2-liter caffeine- free diet Coke bottles in the other.

He started to call his wife's name and then became aware that she was sitting on the couch with Sam. They were hugging. Jillian was faced towards him but her eyes were closed and at least one of them was crying.

Daniel took a deep mental breath as he put the pizza and the bag on the kitchen counter. In his forty years of life he had been shot, zatted, staff-blasted, tortured and ribboned, died from radiation and a stab wound…..

Walking into a house with a single woman crying shouldn't make him want to run in the other direction.

If it was Jillian it was just as likely another commercial or a sad song on the radio. She would have called or texted him instantly if something was wrong.

If it was Sam… He honestly had no idea, unless it was Shanahan. No one had missed that Sam wasn't wearing her engagement ring very often, and lately not at all. She claimed it got in the way when working with electronics and she didn't like to wear it off world.

But if that idiot had done something to hurt Sam, Daniel would choke him; and he knew a former First Prime and an Air Force General who would help him.

Jillian finally opened her eyes to look at him across their living room and breakfast bar. It wasn't her but she looked upset.

Okay. It was Sam, who was also just becoming aware of his presence and sitting up, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. She still had her back to him.

*WHAT?* Daniel mouthed the word to Jillian, his eyes wide behind his glasses. He didn't handle it well when any member of his team was in distress, much less Sam.

"Sam broke it off with Pete," Jillian answered.

Daniel hesitated, letting the words go completely from his ear to his brain until he was sure he'd heard right. Still. It was the last thing he had expected to hear. Couldn't hurt to be sure.

"She did what now?" He asked.

"Broke up with Pete," Jillian repeated.

Daniel took a deep breath, walked around the end of the kitchen counter and quickly to the living room couch. He sat down on the other side of Sam as she turned to the center and found herself bookended by love and support.

Daniel put his arm across the back of the couch.

"Did he do something because I swear to _god, _Sam…."

"No!" Sam said, quickly. "No Daniel, it's fine. Like Jillian said, I broke it off with him."

That made sense to Daniel at least. No man in his right mind would give up Sam.

"When?" He asked.

Sam looked kind of sheepish. Jillian finally answered. "Two weeks ago."

"What!" Daniel wondered if he had ever said that word in quite so many different ways in such a short period of time. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"It was right before Dad…..," she paused and took a deep breath, "Right before Dad died and I thought maybe I was just really stressed and maybe I would change my mind but then I didn't and everyone was already piling sympathy on me. I just didn't want something else on top of it."

"That's why Pete wasn't at the funeral," Daniel surmised, "You told us he was working."

"Well he probably _was_," Sam said, defensively.

Daniel could tell she was already on edge so he let it go.

"What happened?" Daniel asked, settling back and getting her to go with him. His arm stayed on the back of the couch, not touching her but there for comfort anyway.

Jillian patted Sam gently on the leg and said, "I'll make some coffee," for which Daniel was eternally grateful. At the moment he wanted something strong and black.

Sam stared at her neatly manicured nails for a moment.

"He bought a house," she said, finally.

Daniel stared at her, waiting for more and when it didn't come he looked back over his shoulder at Jillian for a translation.

"Without telling her, or letting her look at it first," Jill explained.

Daniel winced so hard he had to readjust his glasses. He wanted to feel sorry for Shanahan but, jeez, even he wasn't that stupid. He was trying to formulate a response that didn't make men in general sound like idiots, listening to Jillian open the oven door – no doubt to put the pizza in to keep it warm – and then start the coffee when Sam just kept talking.

"And that wasn't even all of it. I came home a few weeks ago and he had moved the furniture in the office all around. I mean, who _does_ that? He even had the computer faced across from the window so all you got was reflection on the screen. I had to put everything back and he acted like I'd done him some mortal injury."

"Did he understand that you _can_ actually do that if you want?" Daniel asked, seeking humor.

"Move my own furniture?" Sam asked.

"Kill from a distance," Daniel explained.

"Oh," Sam said and then paused as if it had never occurred to her. She went off on another sore subject instead of exploring the idea. "Then two weeks ago you were kidnapped by my….my….."

"By the Replicators," Daniel said, gently.

Sam looked like she might argue and then gave up. "Okay, _fine," _she said, and Daniel winced again because he hated it when Sam said _fine_ like that. He always felt like he'd just lost an argument they'd never had.

"Sam, you want a diet Coke instead if coffee?" Jillian interrupted. "Daniel just got some; and we've got pizza in the oven."

"I'd like that," Sam said and almost on top of that Daniel, casting an alarmed look over his shoulder at his wife, said, "No coffee?"

He'd gone out for groceries and come home to a female meltdown. He _really_ wanted coffee.

"Relax, Jackson," Jillian said, with dry affection, "Would I do that to you?"

"I hope not," he answered. He looked back at Sam, "So what happened after I was kidnapped? With Pete."

Sam made a helpless gesture into the air. "I couldn't tell him – none of it. Just that you were MIA. The rest is outside of his security clearance. He doesn't know about the Replicators, at all. It was one of the most important things happening in my life and I couldn't tell him."

Daniel understood. She couldn't share her fear, her frustration, the imminent destruction of the Earth, her guilt over her duplicate…..

He wondered what his life would be like if he couldn't tell Jillian anything and decided he never wanted to live in a world like that.

In a world without Jillian….

He shot another look over his shoulder that he hoped wasn't as pathetically sappy as it felt. She smiled at him a little bit and then turned to get a coffee mug out of the cabinet.

He looked back at Sam and let his arm fall around her shoulders a little.

"Then…Then…Dad….." she broke off helplessly but Daniel was only staring back at her calmly and with the utmost care. "I realized Pete wasn't the one I wanted, wasn't the one I needed. I didn't _want_ to lean on him, not as much as I wanted to lean on…" This time she stopped abruptly and stared pointedly at a spot on the floor.

Jillian returned from the kitchen. She handed Daniel a mug of coffee fixed the way he liked it. He took several long swallows and gave her a grateful look as he put it down on the coffee table.

Then Jillian handed Sam a glass with ice and diet Coke and said, bluntly, "Jack."

"Bǎobèi," Daniel said warningly.

Jillian shot him an impatient look. "Haven't we all been through enough? Enough death? Separation? Uncertainty? I'm sorry but I'm just not in the mood to keep dancing around things _everyone_ has known for nearly a decade; and this house is locked down tight. Jack's seen to that. No one is listening. The Asgard couldn't listen in on us." She sat down next to Sam again. "That's who you wanted, isn't it? Jack?"

Sam bit back about six sharp answers. This was Jillian, her friend; and Jillian was completely right. Sam knew she had plunged headlong into a relationship with Pete with blinders firmly on and a restraining order against the little voice in her head that kept telling her it was wrong. She had been determined that there would be no more dreaming about what was unattainable. She was going to be an adult and have a real adult relationship that led to marriage, a life, happiness; everything she deserved, everything she was supposed to want, everything she was allowed to have and should already have.

And Pete had been there; honest and solid, pretty good-looking though not in the rugged way she usually preferred. He was good in bed and with fixing things around the house. He made her laugh. He was the kind of guy that single women joked was either gay or already taken. Except that Pete Shanahan couldn't really be anything but a little pale, a little ordinary next to her three real-life heroes; each of them ten times larger than life, and hers in a way Pete couldn't be, bound to her in the blood and fire of their missions. They had become her male standard. Anything else was second rate.

"Sam," Jillian prompted when she had stayed quiet for too long.

"Yes," Sam admitted, "and he was there and I'll always be grateful for that. But now he can't be. Not like that."

"Look, Sam," Daniel interjected, "No matter how this plays out you did the right thing. You shouldn't marry Pete if he's not the one for you."

Sam gave him a dry look. "You guys never really wanted me with Pete anyway."

"_Mei-mei_," Daniel said, in a serious tone belied by the light in his eyes, "We were just thrilled you had a hobby that didn't involve ripping apart atoms."

Sam stared at him for a moment and started to smile. Daniel grinned when he saw it. The teasing light in his eyes grew brighter. Sam tried to frown and get angry with him. It was so….so frustrating sometimes how calm he could be in the middle of what should be angst-ridden drama. It was as if he somehow knew everything was going to be just fine. It was too much of a reminder of just how far away from them he had gone, and how many times.

They'd gotten him back. Again. _Again; _because all the love and disagreements, differences and loyalty SG1 shared was stronger than any law, stronger than death, stronger than the Ascended.

She wanted to punch him or hug him; maybe both.

Her smile got wider though her laugh was still a little self-deprecating.

"You said there was pizza?" She asked.

"Yep," Daniel answered.

"Isn't there a baseball game on in a few hours?" Sam went on.

Daniel looked at Jillian. In his eyes was a question. _Are you up for company?_ When she nodded, he grinned broadly. "I'll call Jack and Teal'c," he said. "Jill? What about Mal and Rusty and Scotty?"

"Call them too," Jillian answered, with a gentle smile.

(0)


	164. Chapter 164

**Jillian reacts to the tape found in Egypt at the end of Moebius – and she doesn't react well.**

**(0)**

It was rare – very rare – for Jillian to be truly upset, truly _furious _with Daniel; and this was, undoubtedly, the strangest argument they had ever had. Daniel didn't even have any idea how to defend himself.

"I just can't believe you would do something like this," Jillian said, pacing the room, hands opening and closing in frustration, "or maybe I can but I can't believe you would do this _now."_

"But nothing happened!" Daniel protested.

"That you know of," she countered.

Daniel looked sideways, unable to completely meet her eyes because that was actually true. "Well, i-i-i-f it did, we fixed it. Everything on the tape is still true. Nothing changed. I even made sure to say that we were married and expecting a baby."

"But you risked tampering with everything in the first place! Why would you do that? Why would _Sam_ let you do it? We have all that we ever wanted. How could you risk that by messing with _time_ of all things?"

Daniel took a deep breath. Lord, she was pissed. In hindsight, telling her about the ZPM and the tape had not been a good idea.

"Well clearly we all thought it was a good idea at the time. Look at what we can accomplish with a ZPM."

"And that was more important than your family, than what we have now?"

"Jillian, I don't _know,_" he said, a little frantically.

She stared at him for a moment that trembled like an aspen leaf in a storm. Then a flash fire erupted in her eyes. It burned through him and scorched the wall behind him.

"You don't know if this is more important than your family?"

"NO! No, nothing is more important than that. But I don't know how or why we decided to do it. We don't even have to do it anymore! You're mad at me about something I'm not even going to do!"

"Because you did it already!"

"Well no actually I was going to do it in two weeks but I don't have to now."

"_Daniel!"_ He'd never heard her say his name with so much anger. At that point he decided to just shut up and listen.

Jillian started pacing again.

"I already know what _this_ timeline is like without you and in case you've forgotten I was brutally reminded of it just recently when you went off and got killed _again_-"

Daniel winced a little but she wasn't looking at him.

"- I have no idea what a timeline without you _at all_ is like. I know we've run into parallel universes in which you never joined the Star Gate Program and we've never known what that did to my life. I don't _want_ to know. Did you even discuss this with me before you decided to go back to Egypt and mess with a timeline that would _directly_ impact the future of the Star Gate?"

"Bǎobèi, I don't _know._ We'll never know," Daniel answered. He was starting to want her to calm down with no small desperation. "But Sam went along with it, so the risk had to be minimal. Risk assessment is what she does."

Jillian stopped pacing and faced him, stared at him again as if she had no idea who he was.

"Bái chī," she muttered, which made him wince again. It wasn't the first time he had been called an idiot. It probably wouldn't be the last. But it hurt coming from her.

"Duìbuqǐ," he said, with all the passion and sincerity he could wedge into it.

Then he waited to see if the woman who held his shattered heart together would accept his apology.

She took a long deep breath, as if she was drawing painfully hot air into her lungs and looked away.

"I know you're sorry," she sighed heavily.

"Jill, please sit down," he begged, "You're scaring me."

"Good," she grumbled, "It's about time I scared you for a change."

It was worse than the fatal stab wound Sam's duplicate had inflicted on him. But to his great relief she sat down on the new couch in their library, the one they had made love on a dozen times.

But she still had her hands gripped between her knees, a sure sign that she was upset. He approached her cautiously and knelt down very slowly at her feet.

At least she hadn't started crying. Her tears made the fabric of his being unravel.

"Can I ask you a question?" she said.

"Of course. Anything," he answered, instantly.

"Did you ask the Asgard for a child for me, or for us?"

He was incredulous, stunned. "What?"

"Is this some kind of consolation prize for me in case something happens to you; or is it something you want too?"

All of Daniel's childhood abandonment issues surged up like whitewater. He felt a moment of searing pain, looked away and had to swallow. "How can you ask me that? Do you think I'd create a child who wasn't wanted?" His voice sounded strangled, wool-packed. The anger in her eyes died, washed away by the tears he had been dreading. They filled her eyes but didn't fall.

"I have to be sure," she said.

"You're not?" He was shocked. His pulse beat hard with regret that he had ever made her think such a thing.

"You are consumed by curiosity, Daniel! You're eaten up with it. I'm never sure what is more important to you than that. I thought I was done with having to worry about what you would do next but it seems I was wrong!"

Her words hit him like whip strokes.

"I just told you nothing is more important than my family. _Everything_ I do now is for you, to protect you, to keep you safe."

Tears spilled over her lashes, broke and ran in lines down her cheeks. Daniel rose up on his knees to gather her into his arms. He was consumed suddenly by a fear that he could lose her – not to death or injury but to his own foolishness.

"Please don't cry," he begged her, "I can't stand making you cry."

But that only made her cry harder as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shirt. Warm trickles ran under his collar. He brought one hand up hard against the back of her head and held her with more desperation than he had known was possible.

"Don't leave me," he whispered. "Jillian, please. I love you. I need you. Please don't leave me."

He dissolved then into every pleading word in every language he knew, begging her, soothing her. His words bled all his pain into her ear and then into her heart until she was holding him tight and whispering back that she loved him and would never leave him, ever.

"Jill, stop," he said, finally, "stop. The baby…"

It was enough to make her draw another long shuddering breath and bring her tears to an end. She let go of him and put one hand over her waist, over the tiny life hidden there. He pushed her back a little, cradled her face between his palms and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Please calm down, please," he said. "I swear to you never to do anything so foolish again-"

"Daniel, don't," she cut him off sharply, "Don't make me promises like that. We don't have any idea what's going to happen next that will make you run off on some other quest for knowledge. Don't say things that aren't possible for you to live up to." Jillian gripped his forearms, "Just promise you love me and that this baby is something you want as much as I do."

"Of course I do," he said, passionately, as only he could. Longing shook him, made him helpless and vulnerable. "Do you still love me? Even after all this?"

Tears swam in her eyes again. "Of course I do. My life has no meaning without you. Why do you think I'm so upset about this? Because I don't care?"

"No," he admitted.

"What do you want, Daniel?" His wife asked softly.

"To love you," he answered, "To live with you and raise our son, and eventually our daughter; to _be_ with you. Those things I can swear, Jillian."

He waited, breathless. This woman held his soul in her hands like a fragile glass sphere.

"Those things," she said, softly, leaning in for a kiss that tasted of salt tears and forgiveness, "You can have."

(0)


	165. Chapter 165

Jillian woke up on the upstairs couch, blinking and reaching for Daniel. But he wasn't there. She sat up, disoriented. The last thing she remembered was lying back with her head pillowed on his leg while he read to her from the final report on 672.

The room was dark except for the glow from the LEDs in the kitchen.

"Daniel?"

When she didn't get an answer, she got up, turned on a light and went to get a drink of water.

He wasn't in the bedroom. She finally found him in the downstairs office. He was asleep with his head on his arms, the computer keyboard pushed out of the way. His head was turned towards the door, his glasses knocked askew. It wasn't the first time she had found him like this and it certainly wouldn't be the last; though it always filled her with an equal mix of affection and irritation. Why couldn't he just get up and go to bed before he crashed at the computer?

She walked over to him, reached across for the mouse to save whatever he had been working on and then gently shook his shoulder.

"Daniel."

He came bolt upright in his seat. His right hand dropped to this leg, where his Beretta would be if he was off world; Jillian wondered just when that had become so automatic a gesture. His left hand adjusted his glasses and looked up at her, blinking.

"Jill?"

"Yeah." She wrapped her hand around the corded muscle of his forearm. "Come to bed."

Daniel grunted as he struggled to his feet. "What time is it?" He asked groggily.

"It's just before 2:30."

"AM?"

"It's dark outside."

"Oh, yeah, okay."

Loosely holding hands Jillian led him upstairs and into their bedroom, pausing only to turn off lights she had only just turned on. He vanished into the bathroom for a few minutes and came back out wearing a pair of gray sweat pants, his glasses and nothing else. Jillian in the meantime had changed into a set of teal green pajamas and slipped under the sheets.

Daniel tossed his glasses on the night stand, checked to make sure his cell was plugged in and then crawled in next to her. She snuggled in close, sighing with contentment. Daniel pulled her tight, arms taut, one leg thrown over hers. Jillian snuggled into the familiar warmth, hard and strong and somehow always desert-scented. At the same time she reacted to the neediness in his embrace.

"Daniel?"

"It's nothing. I'm just… I'm just so glad you forgive me."

Jillian inhaled a little sharply. Daniel leaned back to scrutinize her with eyes gone dark and shadowed in the night. Cast in shades of black and gray and white his face seemed like carved marble, a perfection of bone and flesh though fine lines marred his forehead.

The words, when they started, overlapped and interwove.

"You _do _forgive me, don't you?"

"Yes! Of course. I feel like I owe you an apology."

"What? Baby, you don't owe me _anything_ after all of the crap I've put you through."

"I shouldn't have gotten so upset."

"You were right –"

"-No! I wasn't; and I shouldn't have let any of this get to me the way it did. I'm not sure why it did."

Even in the dark she could feel him smile a little.

"Really? I can think of a good reason."

"I mean I know I've had a tendency to cry a little….."

"A little?"

"Daniel!" She bit back a laugh that covered her exasperation. "Okay, a lot. But I haven't really gotten angry."

"You were very angry."

"Maybe I just haven't really given you anything to be angry about, until now."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I trust you, Daniel. I _do_ and I _know_ you love me. I don't know why I forgot that for a moment. If you decided to travel back in time and Sam agreed with you then it must have been important and there had to be fail safes and exit strategies involved or Jack wouldn't have okay'd it. I know all that and for some reason I just lost it. I'm sorry for that, _leannan._"

Daniel was silent, staring into the dark for a long time.

"You don't trust me, Jill."

"I do!"

"Let me finish. I know you trust me to protect you, never to cheat on you, to love you with my whole heart and soul forever. But you don't actually trust me with …with _myself_."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't trust me not to run off with no clear idea what I'm getting into and get myself killed."

"Daniel," Jillian said, cautiously, "No one trusts you not to do that. It's not even part of your personality. You're consumed by curiosity. You're like a big cat with hands and three ph.d's!"

Her words by softened by the tender love that colored them. He smiled a little.

"I suppose you're right. Jack pretty much said that to me when SG1 was formed. It was our first major argument."

"Every time you and Jack open your mouths you argue," Jillian pointed out.

"No this was _major._ Fortunately we were alone."

"What did he say?"

Daniel took a long breath and then said, from the depths of his photographic memory and with his frightening ability to mimic, "You do not go near _anyone_ with a deep voice or glowing eyes without your sidearm _drawn and unsafed._ You do _not _offer yourself as a host to a snake because that is _not_ going to help us find Sha're or Skaara we'll just have to go find you too. You do _not_ keep jumping into shit without even waiting to hear what I might have to say or I will throw your ass into a small, dark room right here on Earth and you will stay there until you learn what the term 'chain of command' means!"

"He knew you pretty well, even then. Dare I ask what you said in reply?"

"No you probably shouldn't. Our friendship survived it."

"Miraculous," Jillian said, drily.

"I understood his first two points. We argued the third."

"Did he understand that you weren't likely to be scared off by a small, dark room? Having spent most of your life exploring tombs?"

She felt him smile again and he grunted a little.

"By the time we were done he understood that I wasn't going to nod and salute."

"And that you'd always be more focused on finding a better answer than on your own safety?"

Daniel tensed, hesitated and she could tell she'd caught him off guard.

"Is that how you see it?" He asked, softly.

"Yes. I think that's how we all see it; and it's one of the reasons we all love you."

Some of the tension ran out of his heavy frame. He held her a bit tighter and Jillian could feel the words tumbling around in his head. Too many and too much for this hour of the night…. Morning really….

"I love you, Jill," he said finally. His throat sounded thick with emotion. She could sense the moisture filming his eyes. "And while I really don't want to bring all this back up and risk you getting upset again, even if – _if_- SG1 went back in time and screwed everything up so that there was no Stargate Program and we never met, the 'me' that was stuck in the past would know and I would _never_ stop trying to get back to you. Ever."

"That I _do _trust. That I do believe."

"Really?"

"It seems like your fate, Daniel," Jillian said, softly, "to defeat death and find love. I don't doubt for a moment that you would try and I don't doubt for a moment that you would succeed."

The force of her love for him rushed through her heart and soul uncontested. It was like a tidal wave, unstoppable but at least not destructive.

At least, she hoped not.

He kissed her forehead and they fell into silence. Perhaps her absolution had been enough but, for whatever reason, Daniel slept before she did. She rested in his arms, feeling him breathe in the slow rhythm of sleep and contemplating the complex man she had married, letting herself understand who he really was.

She loved him no less than she had from the moment they met. In fact she loved him a great deal more now that she knew him truly. He was passionate, forever outside the box, forever trapped in his fierce individuality.

Her love for him was as real and immediate and as deep as the ocean. Her love for him was as profound as the child they had created.

Light was starting to creep through the milky curtains when she finally slept.

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	166. Chapter 166

**This is the Daniel who remains trapped in the past in Moebius part 2. This hurt to write.**

He'd had a lot of time to think about the Serenity Prayer, particularly the part about accepting what he could not change. He had never been good at that; and he now faced a whole lot of things that he could never change.

He had led and won the rebellion against Ra. He had pulled down and buried the Stargate – the only familiar thing in his world. It had been necessary. If he was ever going to walk through it at some time in the future he had to bury it in the past. But he had done it with the wrong Sam, Jack and Teal'c

He could never bring back his Sam and Jack. He and Teal'c had risked a lot to get their remains after the executions. He had buried them, together forever in death as they had not been in life. He was glad for the time they'd had together, with the restraints of the military lifted and no one to pass any kind of judgment on them. They had been careful around him, not flaunting how much they loved each other, not reminding him of what he now lived without.

In the end it had been too short. Sam and Jack had done so much for the world. They should have had more for themselves. He had believed until that moment that nothing would ever tear him apart as much as burying his parents. He had been wrong. Grief had been like something dark and evil, living inside him and trying to claw its way out.

He hoped that someday in the future they had set right that Jack and Sam found a way to be together.

But now he was going to live the rest of his days with a Jack who was a stranger, whose eyes seemed darker and only lit with any kind of light, and kind of _life,_ when he looked at Sam; and a Sam who flinched at gunfire and had a tendency to giggle and hang onto Jack. He was faced now with a Teal'c who was frighteningly familiar but to whom he had no connection whatsoever.

He had lost Teal'c once already too; and he would have to watch that over again. Daniel didn't know how much time he and Sam and Jack had. But Teal'c… he only had until his symbiote matured. Several years, at most, if he'd been lucky with the timing. Maybe more, maybe less. With the Goa'uld gone, there was no further source of symbiotes to keep Teal'c alive. Tretonin was five thousand years into an uncertain future. Teal'c was living with a death sentence no one could commute.

But among the awful things he could never change, the bleak, black future he faced held the reality that he would never see his wife again, never hold their son, never know their daughter. They had fixed the timeline, of that he was certain. The Daniel he would be in the future would have those things and that life. Jillian would never again know the pain of being without him, alone.

But he would not. He'd had a whole lot of time to think. Unfortunately his thoughts only brought shattered dreams and memories and emotions that lay around him now like broken glass.

_Oh god Jillian…._

In the space of a few weeks she had become something he could not live without. Alone, how would he ever sleep in peace again? He would stir restlessly and reach for the warmth that should be next to him, curled close and soft and familiar and flower scented. He would abruptly wake to emptiness, and his thoughts would go racing, wondering where she was. He would start to get up to find her, reassure himself that she was safe and the tears would sting, hot and wet, burning in his chest. His heart would freeze while his breath caught on the jagged edge of reality.

He had lost her. He had given her up to go time traveling in search of a ZPM.

She had survived fifteen months believing he was dead, living without him. He had thought he had understood her pain. He had even tried to tell her he understood, to reassure her so that he would never put her through that again.

Through the awful desolation of being left alone. One without the other.

He hadn't had a clue. He'd never understood at all.

Something inside him had been waiting for Jack or Sam to come talk to him about it. Now that they knew they were trapped here and he would never see Jillian again. Until he realized they didn't even know who Jillian was and wouldn't have an answer for him even if he asked.

Jack wasn't coming. Sam wasn't coming.

He was alone.

He walked out to the edge of the encampment under a black sky strewn with stars and stood for a while on a dune, staring up unseeing.

"Love her," he told his future self, his voice fierce. The stars blurred out and he took off his glasses, dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, "If you don't ever do anything right in your whole life, love her like you've never loved anything else and _never_ leave her."

Overcome, Daniel sank down on his knees in the sand and wept.

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	167. Chapter 167

**Jack invites Daniel to the cabin for the scene at the end of Moebius. I love when Jack and Daniel talk…..**

**(0)**

Jack stuck his head in the door and said, "You got a minute?"

Daniel looked up. He didn't really but he would make time for Jack.

"What's up?"

"She said yes."

"What?" Daniel asked. He sat back in his chair and wondered if he really had lost some of his memories in his latest round of Ascension/Descension – like the part of him that knew how to decipher 'O'Neill' with 100 percent accuracy 100 percent of the time.

"Carter. This time she said yes." Jack didn't come into the room. He hung in the doorway, crossed his feet at the ankles and leaned on the frame, arms folded.

"Jack, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I asked Carter to go to the cabin, fishing, and this time she said yes."

"Well….good?" Daniel answered.

"Yeah, but…."

"Isn't that what you've been wanting her to say? You've been asking her for years."

"Yes! But now you and Teal'c have to come."

Daniel shook his head. "Don't"

"Do."

"Don't"

"Do."

"_Don't."_

"Do."

"Jack!" Daniel sat up again, "Look, I really do have a lot of work to catch up on here…."

"I know. You're dead for a week and the paperwork just _piles_ up…."

"Jack!"

"What?"

Daniel stared at him for a long time and Jack stared back, both determined not to blink first.

"Fuck you," Daniel said finally, but with no bite in it. "Why do we have to come?"

For a moment Jack looked like a deer in the headlights. This was a look that only Daniel usually got a glimpse of.

"Are you afraid to be alone with Sam?" he asked.

"No! But…career military, you know. I don't want to do anything to cast any kind of suspicion on her."

That made sense to Daniel, though it also made him wonder why Jack had insisted on asking her so often for so many years. Had he been that certain she would always say no – for the same reason, not wanting to cast suspicion on her CO?

"Okay, look, I get that," Daniel said, "You want to protect Sam. I really _do_ get that. But you'll just have to take Teal'c this time. I can't go."

"Why not?"

"In a word, Jillian."

"Ah," Jack said, but he didn't sound like he really understood at all. He let a few seconds pass and then said, "She forgive you yet for the whole traveling through time thing?"

Daniel's jaw dropped open. "How do you know about that? We had that argument in our _living room!"_

"Aha!" Jack said, triumphantly and then grinned. "She _was_ mad at you!"

Daniel's shock turned to a glare. Jack ignored him.

_Bastard….._

"She forgive you?"

"I think so….," Daniel paused and thought back to the night before, falling backwards onto the couch with her above him, her soft voice in his ear, breathless…. _Oh god, Dan…_ Her words had clung to him and he could still hear them now, fragments of passion. He cleared his throat. "Yes. Why?"

"So bring her along. I thought you'd know it was assumed she was invited too."

"Can't."

"Why not? Jillian loves the cabin. You got married there."

"I don't want to put her on a plane."

"What?"

"She's pregnant. I don't want her to fly."

"Oh my god, Daniel, are you fucking kidding me?"

"No."

Jack took a deep breath. "I'll admit I'm maybe not the best guy to be giving you advice on women or marriage but being married to a pregnant woman is something I actually have some experience with. She might just love the over- protective –father-to-be stuff right now but sooner or later she's going to get cranky; even if she kind of still likes it, she's going to get cranky about it."

Daniel didn't answer. In fact he looked away and at the floor.

"Aha!" Jack said.

"Stop that!" Daniel snapped, looking back.

"She's almost there now, isn't she? More emotional, less predictable? That's why she got pissy with you over the time traveling thing."

"No she was right in a lot of ways about that," Daniel said. But even to himself he had to admit that on any other day Jillian would raged at him for a few minutes, been exasperated for a day or so. She might even have been coaxed into a discussion about time traveling theory, the possible repercussions and what might have happened. But she wouldn't have burst into tears like that with her Scots temper stoked to the point of boiling over.

"So tell her you want to take her back to the cabin now, to make it up to her."

"She'll see through that lie before I get the whole sentence out of my mouth."

"Then just tell her the truth. I invited the team to the cabin for some down time. You, me, Teal'c, Sam, fishing, food, beer; and she's coming along too, of course. When was the last time she and Sam had 'girl time'?"

"I'd still have to put her on a plane."

"Any thoughts on her reaction when she finds out you turned down a trip to the cabin because you don't want her to fly."

It was Daniel's turn to get a pale, slightly panicked look on his face.

"That conversation does not bear thinking about."

"See?"

Daniel glared at him again.

"For cryin' out loud Daniel, she's safer in the air than she is on the interstate!"

Daniel sat back in his chair again and regarded Jack.

"You really want us there, don't you?"

"I really do," Jack said.

Daniel started to ask why again and stopped. He knew why and dragging it out of Jack would be disrespectful to the friendship they had built against a whole lot of odds.

Everything was changing. Sam was going to Area 51. Jack was most likely leaving the SGC even though he hadn't said anything official yet. Teal'c wanted to be with the new Jaffa nation. He'd just come back from being dead…. Again.

It would be good to be together again for a while.

And Jillian really could use some time out from under the mountain, away from the grueling translation of the language of 672. She'd love some girl time with Sam before Sam left.

And Jack had a point about her being safer in the air than on the road.

Daniel changed the question to something Jack could answer.

"Sam the only reason you want us all there?"

"No," Jack answered. Then he took a breath, let it out. Bit by bit Jack shed the thick plates of armor that had guarded him from grief. Daniel saw the struggle it was for him to get the words out, which made them all the more precious, "You scared the hell out of me that week you were…. Gone."

Daniel nodded slowly. No problem with translation this time. This time he heard it loud and clear – _Don't ever scare me like that again you bastard because you mean too much to me, you all do._

"Yeah. I figured." No need to stir that particular emotional cauldron.

"Don't come to the cabin because of Carter," Jack said, "Come because you want to. Come because _I_ want you to."

"Well, when you put it like that," Daniel fought a smile. Damn the man anyway. "But you're buying me two first class plane tickets."

"Deal," Jack said. He straightened, no longer leaning on the doorframe as if he needed to support the weight of the SGC all by himself. "Thanks, Daniel."

Daniel nodded. "Sure. Any time."

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	168. Chapter 168

**I thought a little romance might be a good way to start the next adventure, before starting on Season 9. Once again I have no real idea how long this will be. I'm just letting the Muse run with it. **

**(0)**

Daniel's voice in her ear was always like heaven for Jillian, even over the phone.

"Hey, I'm running a little late. Again. Where are you?"

"I'm in the Library Gift Shop. Where are you?"

"About ten minutes away. Meet me in the lobby outside Le Jardin?"

"All right," Jillian said.

"If I'm not there at seven go ahead and have them seat you. I don't want to lose the reservation. Order for me if you like."

She laughed a little. "No, half the fun of dining out with you is watching you trying to make up your mind."

"It won't take me long tonight, I promise."

Jillian frowned even though she couldn't see him. "You haven't eaten today have you?" It wasn't an accusation, just an acknowledgment.

"No, I didn't. It got kind of crazy and I worked through."

"I knew it. Hang up and drive please; and be safe! I've waited for," she stopped and looked at the elegant watch – a birthday gift from Daniel - on her wrist, checked the time from his last phone call. "Six and half hours, another ten minutes won't kill me."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

Jillian smiled to herself. Poor Daniel. He had arranged a wonderful three day weekend at the Broadmoor Resort, for no better reason than that they were having the nursery painted and he didn't want her in the house with paint fumes. They had checked in at noon that day, Friday, and were no sooner settled in the luxury suite he'd reserved than Jack called.

Washington was demanding an update on PXK-701. Now. Fortunately he had also arranged an afternoon spa treatment for her. So she had spent the day in pampered bliss and he had spent it dealing with the political mess on 701,which had resulted in the abduction of three members of Daniel's archaeological staff. They had all been returned safely but certain factions in Washington were looking for a conspiracy and wanted facts to back their theory.

Daniel was unlikely to give them those facts and Jillian pitied anyone who tried.

He had called her at two.

"I made reservations for dinner at Le Jardin at seven and it looks like I'm going to make it. Meet me there?"

"Of course. Do you have a preference for what dress you want me to wear?"

"Surprise me," he said, "Just not something that puts me right on the edge of an orgasmic meltdown as soon as I see you."

"Do I own anything like that?" she teased.

"You have no idea how close you've gotten me. Listen, since I can't be there, why not go to one of the shops and get something new and wow me?"

"I'll see what I can find," she promised.

She'd found a new dress in pale teal that draped over her like a hug and left her back bare. There had been a brief moment when she was oddly scared and thrilled at the same time when she realized that her usual dress size was just the slightest tight over her midriff. The way the fabric was draped managed to hide it but she wasn't going to get away with a dress like this for much longer.

The sales clerk had placed it carefully in a dress bag and promised to deliver it to her room. Jillian had shopped for shoes and found some jade jewelry that would be a perfect complement to the dress, gone to the spa, gone back to the suite so she could sleep through her evening bout of nausea; then she had dressed and gone back to the lobby to wait for Daniel.

The Library and Gift Shop had called to her like a Siren while she waited. She found three children's books, a romance she had wanted to read and a book called Oceanic Mythology that she knew Daniel would love. The romance and the children's books she had sent back to the room. The book for Daniel she had gift wrapped.

She was coming out of the gift shop with her gift in hand, wondering at the wisdom of wearing new shoes on a night when there was sure to be dancing, when her eyes were drawn to Daniel coming through the elegant gold and glass entry doors. He was walking quickly, looking slightly flustered, head moving back and forth as he scanned for her.

The Broadmoor lobby was always filled with elegantly dressed, beautiful people. They all faded into so much background for Jillian. Daniel was stunning.

He was wearing a pair of sharply pressed, pleated black chinos, a pale blue silk shirt and a custom tailored black jacket. Heads turned in his direction, not all of them female.

Jillian went from wondering about her shoes to wondering how she was going to make it through dinner without forcing him backwards onto the table and scattering plates and glasses everywhere while she ravished him.

But she suspected that this weekend was not about sex – though it would certainly be included. This weekend seemed to be about romance, as if Daniel was trying to make up to her for the week he had been missing. Jillian was willing to go along with that.

He saw her and his face lit with a smile of recognition and delight that was quickly swallowed by a flash of blatant desire as his eyes swept her from head to toe.

His hand on her elbow was light but possessive. His kiss at the corner of her mouth was a proper enough PDA but she felt the iron control in it.

"Hey," he said, softly, "I'm so sorry about deserting you and being late. Everything kind of went to hell after I talked to you this afternoon."

"It wasn't your fault," she said. Now she wondered if Daniel knew the effort it was costing her not to put her arms around him and press tight. "Did you just put on your tie?"

"Yeah, in the jeep, using the rearview mirror. Why?'

She smiled at him and Daniel forgot what they were talking about for a moment as she adjusted and fussed with his tie, standing on tiptoe with her mouth inches from his.

A little bit later they were being seated in a corner table with a perfect view of the 16 foot chandelier and the elegant florals. They were led by an eager to please, smiling young waitress who couldn't take her eyes off Daniel. He ordered coffee for himself and tea for Jillian and a pitcher of ice water. The waitress smiled again, sweeping Daniel up and down with an appreciative look.

As she opened her menu Jillian shot a narrow look at her departing form.

"Easy, now," Daniel said in a long slow whisper. "If you go after her, I'm going to have to have words with all the men staring at you."

Jillian could feel the sudden rush of heat into her cheeks and ducked behind her menu for a moment. When she looked back he was staring at her from those gorgeous Caribbean blue eyes.

"You look amazing, hot enough to melt all the ice in the room," he said. His mouth quirked into that soft, sexy half-smile that sent her straight to a deliciously happy place. "That dress… the color…."

"What?"

"Do you have any idea what that color does to your eyes?"

Jillian felt the weight of his gaze, the hunger in it. Their eyes met and, the connection between them was like grounded lightning, never unnoticed, never unfelt.

He nodded towards the wrapped gift that was lying on the table beside her napkin.

"What's that?"

"C'est à vous." _It is for you._

She saw the surprised lift of his eyebrows. She rarely spoke French with him. It was a language and a time in her life she associated with another man. But it was time to reclaim it. The French garden theme of Le Jardin seemed like a perfect setting.

Besides, Daniel's lilting French was like honey being poured over her senses. It was foolish to deny herself such pleasure.

"Pour moi?" _For me?_ The surprise was in his voice as well, "Ai-je oublié un anniversaire?" _Did I forget an anniversary?_

Jillian laughed softly and accepted the goblet of water he was handing her. Their fingertips brushed lightly. "Non." She gestured around the room with a small wave of her hand, indicating the opulence and specialness of the moment . "C'est une honte que nous n'avons pas une." _It is a shame not to have one._

"Nous pourrions créer une," he said. _We could make one up._

"Je n'ai pas besoin d'une raison pour vous donner un cadeau." _I don't need a reason to give you a gift. _"Ouvrir." _Open it._

He pushed it across the table towards him and he picked it up. She could tell that he knew immediately what it was. His eyebrows went up and he gave that slow half smile again.

"Livre oa?" _A book_.

"Oui."

Daniel carefully stripped off the silver paper and read the title.

"Quelque chose d'avoir une mémoire de 672?" _Something to have as a memory of 672?_

"Oui."She hesitated, watching him skim through the pages with his long, blunt fingers. "Nous n'avons pas beaucoup de livres sur les îles du Pacifique dans notre bibliothèque. Ca vous plait?" _We don't have many books on the Pacific Islands in our library. Do you like it?_

"Il est parfait," he answered. _It is perfect. _"Merci, ma femme chérie." _Thank you my darling wife._

He reached across the table and squeezed her hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of hers. "Je t'aime, je t'adore."

"J'ai eu le plaisir mon cher mari," Jillian answered. _It was my pleasure my darling husband._ "Je t'aime."

They stayed that way, looking into each other's eyes before remembering that they were supposed to be looking menus and Daniel was running on little more than caffeine and a candy bar.

"What do you want to eat tonight?" Daniel asked, scanning the menu.

"Something we don't make at home. Seafood, I think. What about you?"

Daniel gazed at the menu the way he did at ancient text engraved on monuments, eyes moving rapidly behind his glasses, mostly down the center, scanning quickly back and forth and taking in the whole message. In the soft mood lighting and candlelight Daniel was unrealistically handsome, a waking dream. Every fantasy she'd ever had.

"I'm torn between the prime rib and the salmon. I'd like both actually."

"You _are_ hungry," she commented.

"I'm ravenous."

"Do you want to share the porterhouse for two?"

"You said you wanted seafood."

"We could start with salads and the shellfish appetizer platter."

Daniel scanned the menu again. "That sounds really good actually. What do you want with the porterhouse? Baked potato and green beans."

"Perfect," Jillian flashed a brilliant smile at him and he inhaled sharply and then swallowed.

They were interrupted by the waitress returning to take their order. Daniel ordered Caesar salads for both of them and the shellfish platter. As she collected the menus she asked if they wanted something from the wine list and offered a few recommendations.

Daniel smiled, cast a loving look at his wife and said, "No, not tonight."

She looked puzzled for a moment but kept her professional demeanor. "All right. I'll be right back with your appetizer. Do you need anything else?"

"No, that's fine, thank you," Daniel answered.

When they were alone again, Daniel folded his arms on the table in front of him and leaned forward. He looked at her over the top of his glasses.

"I have to admit it's a little strange that you're not picking out a wine. Half the fun of dining out with you is watching you discuss the list with the wine steward."

"I can order something for you by the glass if you want, if you can tell me what it is you want to eat," she offered.

"No, that's all right. I'll wait until we can enjoy it together again."

Jillian smiled at him and he sat back in his chair and regarded her with an expression of quiet possessiveness.

When he didn't speak for some time, she said, "What?"

"I wasn't just tied up with that report," he said, "There was something else I needed and I waited for the answer."

Jillian's eye flared with mock horror. "Oh god, that means you stayed and pestered whoever it was until you got an answer; and not just an answer but the one you specifically wanted. What in the world was so important?"

"You," he said, simply.

A waiter brought a basket of rolls and their appetizers so Jillian was prevented from doing more than lifting a curious eyebrow. When the man left she said,

"I'm going to ask again, what in the world was so important?"

"You," he repeated. He regarded her carefully. Jillian reached for a roll, buttered it and chewed it slowly, determined to not let him make her crazy. She was certainly _not_ going to say another word before he did or let him see that she wanted an answer and not just the slightly bemused, love-struck gaze that he was currently giving her. She was _not_ …

"Daniel!"

He laughed. "I think I'm about to make you very happy. I just wanted to savor the moment."

"I'm already very happy," she pointed out.

"Happier."

"Impossible."

"How would you like to attend the Treaty signing on 672?"

That took her breath away for a moment. Cautiously she said, "I would love to be there. My father and his team worked so hard to bring this about. He learned a new language! Do you have any idea how hard that was for him? Much less that it's almost two languages since you have to get the hand signs and body language just right….." She paused and took a breath, "I missed so much of his life, Daniel. I wasn't there for so many of the triumphs and successes. But I can't and even he wouldn't want me to. The Gate….."

There was no evidence that going through the Stargate had ever caused any kind of problem with a pregnancy.

There was also no evidence to the contrary and Daniel and Jillian had agreed to err on the side of caution.

"What if I told you that you don't have to go through the Gate to get there?"

Jillian seemed breathless for a moment. He had done this to her before – laid something she wanted at her feet and made it happen. He had done it too many times for her to doubt him.

"The only other way there is _Prometheus_ and that isn't scheduled to 672 until much later… Daniel?"

"It's been rescheduled," he said, "The engineers and miners want to get started. The cultural exchange from 672 wants to get here as soon as possible. It's now going to arrive about 3 days before the signing of the Treaty. We can be on it."

Jillian stared across the table at him. She was speechless and momentarily prevented from having to say anything when the waitress arrived with their appetizer platter. She watched the woman flirt with Daniel as he ordered the porterhouse and side dishes, more coffee and tea.

Daniel, typically, was clueless that her smile was anything but friendly.

Or maybe he wasn't, but he certainly wasn't giving any return signals. The waitress left and Daniel's warm gaze settled on Jillian once again.

"Well?"

"Why do I ever doubt you?" Jillian asked, in return.

His eyebrows went up. "I think I've given you more than enough reason to doubt me, Jill." A shadow crossed his face and he turned away to divide up the shellfish onto two sparkling white plates.

"Not when it comes to getting things for me that I had completely given up hope of ever having," she said, "How did you arrange for us to be on it?"

Daniel shrugged. "I know the guy in charge."

Jillian laughed a little. The 'guy in charge' was Jack.

"So, the answer is yes?" Daniel asked.

"When do we leave?"

"In four days. So we get to enjoy the weekend. Then Teal'c will go to the house Sunday morning and air it out so there are no paint fumes and we can go home Sunday evening and start packing."

"You had this all planned before we even got the go-ahead from Jack?"

Daniel shrugged and gave her the half-delighted, half-embarrassed quirk of his mouth that made her want to kiss him. He had known that Jack would say yes. He had known that she would as well.

"You're giving me all the shrimp," she noted, "I know you love shrimp."

"So do you. But I like the oysters and you don't really."

They ate for a while and talked of inconsequential things. Jillian told him about the books she had purchased and he smiled indulgently. Having made it to the important eight week milestone, Jillian was starting to be less anxious about something going wrong.

Their entrées arrived in due course and while they ate the lights were dimmed a little more and the orchestra arrived and began to play.

They finished eating and then Daniel stood up and offered her his hand.

"Danser avec moi?"

She could hardly resist. They clasped hands and he pulled her fluidly to her feet. Their bodies brushed lightly as they walked out to the dance floor. He brought her around to face him, cradled her in one arm, held tight to her other hand.

Daniel danced the way he made love, with great care and tenderness and attention to detail. Passion and love were communicated in the subtle way he guided her around the dance floor.

He had always been stunningly easy to follow and it was no different now that their bodies had learned to know each other. The pressure of his hand, the steps of his feet, the angle of his of his tall frame - it was like being able to read his mind. When he moved they moved in perfect unison. They were a perfect match, a perfect pairing, blending into a smooth harmony. The music flowed through them.

They danced until the music became the beating of their entwined hearts. They danced love, they danced joy. They danced to the rhythm of their shared dreams of the future. There was no one else in the room but the two of them while they danced.

When the band switched to something more up tempo, Daniel led her back to the table.

The plates had been cleared and Daniel insisted on dessert. Jillian ordered the cheesecake and Daniel had the baked apple pie.

"How is it?" she asked.

"It's excellent. Do you want to try some?"

She nodded. There was something intimate about taking food from Daniel's fork in the middle of a now crowded restaurant, even more intimate than dancing with him had been. They could certainly both discuss in detail the sharing of food from an anthropological point of view. But tonight was about romance and not academia. She closed her eyes and closed her lips over the pie, drew it back slowly and delicately licked away the cinnamon flavored juice with the tip of her tongue.

It was beyond delicious. When she opened her eyes again Daniel was staring at her with his shoulders rising and falling as he took long, slow breaths.

"Sometimes," he said, "you are so beautiful that I just want to sit and stare at you. Thank you for loving me the way you do, so unconditionally, so completely and unselfishly."

His face was genuinely adoring. Jillian brushed her leg against his under the table.

"Let's go enjoy that marvelous room you booked for us," she said.

Daniel smiled. "Finish your dessert. Then you have a deal."

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	169. Chapter 169

**On board Prometheus:**

The first thing Daniel saw when he exited the elevator was a door directly opposite with a sign in large black hand written letters that said "Watch out for random robots". Underneath the lettering someone had drawn the image of a cartoon Airman wearing a Prometheus uniform flailing backwards as he tripped over four small cylindrical robots whizzing by under his feet.

A similar sign below that said "Puck and the Lucky Charms" with a caricature of a smiling man with a shock of red hair and round glasses wearing a lab coat and surrounded by a host of bullet shaped robots. He had found the temporary home of the scientist whose sole purpose in life was to create robots out of the alien technologies being brought back from off world.

When Daniel opened the door there was a skittering sound at his feet as something came flying out of the room at his feet. Beeping and chittering the small robot careened down the hall in a zigzag, hit a wall, self-corrected and went running around a corner like a squirrel on speed.

Daniel yelped an expletive in Chinese that Sam didn't quite catch. She laughed.

"That little devil's been bumping into the door for the last ten minutes hoping someone would open it," she said.

"Isn't that one of the Mapbots?" Daniel asked.

"Yes." He was answered by the red-haired scientist who had to be the inspiration for the caricature on the door. "It's got some new programming I'm testing. When it was done mapping the room it wanted to seek out parts unknown."

"Those things are amazing," Daniel said, "I can't wait to use them at that complex of ruins on PKZ-9934."

The young man – with the unusual name of Keeper Rand, _Dr._ Keeper Rand, Ph.D. in robotics and artificial intelligence – sighed and raked fingers through his disheveled hair.

"I'm glad you like it, Dr. Jackson," he said, "But only other scientists do. The Powers That Be thinks we're wasting our time at Groom Lake making toys and cleaning equipment. The mapbot has tons of applications but it doesn't blow things up."

Sam and Daniel locked eyes for a moment. That was true. The Powers That Be weren't interested in things that made life better for mankind; not even now with the Goa'uld scattered and the Replicators gone. They _did_ like the discovery Sam had made that caused naquadah to float. Run a current of electricity through a wafer-thin slice of naquadah and it would hover as much as a few thousand feet off the ground. The mapbots were part of a prototype program to eventually replace the UAVs for long range exploration.

There were currently four of the robots – including the one that Daniel had let loose into the ship. They were named Star, Moon, Heart and Clover after the original marshmallows in the boxes of Lucky Charms. The one running the hallways of the Prometheus was Star. Moon, Heart and Clover were being held in a Plexiglas cabinet, hovering up and down like anxious puppies. Dr. Rand and his robotic pets were part of the cultural exchange of information program that was part of the treaty being signed with 672 – which was what the SGC personnel continued to call it since the native word for their planet was Manuahi Mau Loa.

"Did you come down just to visit the robots?" Sam asked.

"I was looking for you actually," Daniel answered, "I found Scotty and Annie and they told me you were here."

Sam had been asked to join the trip to 672. She had helped build Prometheus and they wanted her to tweak some of the systems. When Daniel had gone looking for her he'd discovered that the temporary robotics lab had asked for her help with the seismic sensor relay they were hoping to put up on Mauna Po'okela Ahi 'Ai Honua – the Mountain of Great Fire. It was also the biggest strato volcano anyone from Earth had ever seen.

Prometheus was currently carrying medical personnel, scientists including geologists, astrophysicists and astronomers, as well as Daniel, Sam and Jillian.

And their robotics specialist, Keeper Rand.

"Keeper asked me to look at the equipment headed for that big mountain everyone can't stop talking about," Sam explained.

Keeper was shaking his head slowly, as if he had just seen something inexplicable. "I couldn't believe how fast she stripped the array!" He said.

"She can field strip a P90 in ten seconds," he said, "I've seen her do it. After eight years I can still only do it in fifteen."

"That's because you get slowed down reading the instructions," Sam countered.

Daniel grinned. It was an old joke between them, part of the history they had built up over the same eight years and countless missions

"So does that mean you can reprogram my ground motion sensor to shoot things?" Keeper asked.

"Do you want me to?" Sam asked.

"You mean you _can_?" The young scientist's pale face got even paler.

"It might help expand your government grant next time the budget comes up for review," Daniel pointed out. "Sam has probably made targeting systems and experimental weaponry out of more things than you can even imagine."

"No MacGuyver jokes," Sam warned him, pointing a finger for emphasis.

Daniel grinned again. He was going to miss her desperately if she decided to take the job she had been offered at Area 51. Maybe Keeper's disenchantment with the place would help Sam make up her mind to stay.

If it didn't and SG1 lost Sam, it would probably lose Teal'c as well; and if that happened…..

Daniel had an idea of what he wanted to do. It would just mean talking his wife into it.

As if his thoughts had conjured her, Sam said, "Where's Jillian?"

"Taking a nap. She was tired after getting our room all settled."

Sam's face furrowed with concern. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah," Daniel said slowly, "Fatigue has been an issue in the last few weeks. We've been told it's normal."

Sam nodded and let it go after Daniel slid his gaze sideways to Keeper for a single second and then back to Sam, meaningfully. Jillian's pregnancy was still known to only a handful of people.

"Did you need me for something?" Sam asked him.

"No, I was just wondering what you were doing," Daniel answered.

"Want to help me recalibrate a laser sensor?" Sam wondered.

"Not really my field," he hedged.

"Actually we could maybe use your help, Dr. Jackson," Keeper spoke up, "I was just noticing that the instructions in Spanish don't seem to match the ones in English but my Spanish is rusty; and the Russian! Well…"

Daniel glanced at Sam, who shrugged. "It would be easier than translating ancient Phoenician under a floating bomb that may go off at any moment."

Daniel turned back to Keeper.

"I'd be happy to help," he answered, "and call me Daniel."

Keeper gave him smile that split his freckle-spattered face with genuine happiness.

"Welcome to the team, Daniel," he said. "and please call me Keeper and not Puck like everyone else does."

"Sure," Daniel said, easily and realizing that he was looking forward to having something important to do, "Where are these instructions?"

(0)


	170. Chapter 170

Jillian couldn't remember a time in her life when she had been happier. The last weeks on the Prometheus with Daniel had been peaceful, spent in the intellectual pursuit of a new language, the occasional challenge of puzzles to solve and mostly long hours of having nothing to do but enjoy each other and plan for the future.

Scotty's girlfriend, Annie, had been teaching the Hawaiian language to her and Daniel. The language of 672 was almost identical, except for the hand signs. Daniel had determined that the hand signs had originated as a secret language to be used against the Goa'uld who had brought them to the planet centuries before.

She had watched Daniel master both languages in days, as if words were air and he could simply breathe them in. Once he had harnessed his keen intelligence and sense of purpose to something, he was unstoppable.

And while the trip had been peaceful, Jillian had realized that she was really only at peace when she was with Daniel.

At the moment they were standing in the Observation Room on Deck Two. It was set up as a Rec Room for the crew, a place to gather and relax, watch movies, hang out, play games. There was a large view screen and for twelve hours they had been able to watch the planet Manuahi Mau Loa growing larger and larger. The view had been almost exclusively the night side because of the trajectory of Prometheus' approach.

It was spectacular. The planet was mostly oceans with scattered continents of various size. The night side was dotted with the twinkling lights of civilization and ribboned by the wide dark expanses of water. There were also lights ringing the planet, hanging in space like a series of diamond bracelets. They were the fleet of ships and satellites that guarded the planet. The lights moved with Manuahi Mau Loa, anchored in geosynchronous orbit with the cities they were assigned to protect. Beyond the planet they could see the shining orb of the sun and beyond that was a thick streak of stars blazing all the colors of the rainbow as if a child had poured a long line of glitter across the night.

It was the Milky Way, edge-on, a view they had rarely gotten and never to this degree. Manuahi Mau Loa was so far out on the edge of the galaxy that the distant galactic core and the spiral arms became an unmoving firework display of stars across the black sky.

Sam was enchanted with it. Scotty was nearly beside himself with joy.

Jillian mostly just liked to stand by the railing in front of the view screen and look at it. She'd grown up watching Star Trek, loving Star Wars and devouring sci-fi books. The fact that she was now living it was sometimes overwhelming.

If she could stand by the railing with Daniel pressed up against her back and his arms holding her loosely, his hands crossed protectively between her hips and her head resting in the hollow of his shoulder – then life was just about as perfect as it ever got.

He had walked up behind her just moments ago, touched her cheek with warm fingers before enfolding her in his arms. He felt real and solid and strong, enveloping her in his presence.

"How do you feel?" He asked softly.

"I feel fine," she said, with a touch of wonder in her voice. It was true. Now that it seemed her late afternoon bouts of nausea were going away, Jillian had realized she'd never felt so healthy in her life.

"Tired?" He pressed a little closer, anxiously.

"Not at all," she answered, reaching back to touch the line of his jaw. "I could probably sleep, but I don't really feel like I need to."

"Okay," he acquiesced with relief and nuzzled her hair for a moment even though they weren't exactly alone in the room. "It was worth the trip just for the view, huh?"

"It's incredible," she agreed, "It's hard to believe we had anything a civilization this advanced would ever need."

"The Star Gate," Daniel said simply.

Jillian nodded. Until SG10 had arrived through the Gate, the Mau Lo'ans hadn't known it was anything more than a monument of some sort, a piece of unknown origin, obscurely placed in a garden at their museum of ancient history. If they had been brought through it at some point that information had been lost. Their history recorded an uprising and rebellion against their 'gods' but the name Goa'uld was not known to them.

It had been a tricky negotiation. The Mau Loans had only united as one planet in the last seventy five years. The war ships that ringed their planet were the by-product of ground wars that had gone out into space. They had believed they were capable of defending their planet against anything that might be out there. They had no warp or lightspeed capablilities and the SGC had been unwilling to put such technology on the table. Allies had a way of becoming enemies and no one wanted to wake up one day with a fleet of Mau Lo'an ships surrounding Earth. Daniel's study of their history had revealed a violent past and their current united planet status seems too new and too fragile to trust entirely.

Adding the further complications of the language barrier and it seemed miraculous that Earth and the Mau Lo'ans had reached a treaty agreement at all. Jillian couldn't remember being so proud of her father.

"Daniel," she changed the timber of her voice to let him know she was about to change the subject.

"Yes?"

"Are you happy?"

"How can you ask me that?" He sounded genuinely perplexed, "I have everything I ever wanted. I have things I didn't know I wanted and can't imagine being without."

"You're sure?"

"Completely."

It seemed to Daniel that Jillian wanted to pursue the subject but they were interrupted at that moment by people joining them at the railing. Scotty and Annie came up to stand beside them. With them were two of the geologists assigned to join the Mau Lo'an volcano research station, Dr. Lemarr Whyte, who was flanked by his wife, Dr. Tanda Palmer-Whyte. The Whytes were from Jamaica originally, with the ebony skin and lilting accents one would expect with such a heritage. Daniel thought that between the Jamaican accents and the intertwining Hawaiian langauges, Jillian might think she was getting a true island vacation. He leaned over a little to ask her a question but at that precise instant a hush fell over the room

"What's going on?" Daniel asked.

Scotty was prevented from responding by the slightest change in the sound of Prometheus' engines and a gentle shudder in the floor. The ship was changing course.

"We're going to come around the day side of the planet. Mt. Honua should be visible in a few minutes," Scotty explained. He had used the Earth-shortened version to identify the Mountain of Great Fire.

"From space?" Daniel asked, startled.

The answer came from Lamarr. "Honua is four eights the land base surface of Australia," he explained.

"Good god," Scotty said. "The damage that could cause…"

"Fortunately it hasn't done more than rumple in fourteen thousand years. There are small fissures and cracks all along its surface that act as safety valves," Lamarr explained.

"Look," Tanda said, pointing, "Coming up just there, on morning side."

A murmur of mixed emotions went through the gathered crowd – awe, surprise, shock. Some just gaped silently.

"The last time it erupted," Lamarr said with quiet respect, "It blasted out ash and rock that hit one of the moons."

The mountain pushed up arrogantly into the atmosphere. There was a halo of thick white clouds around its peak. The rest of it cascaded in ice blue prominence down to the surrounding sea. Even from this distance, the shadow it cast could be seen darkening the waters for several kilometers.

Daniel whispered into Jillian's ear, "Sam should be here. She'd want to see this."

As if he had conjured her, Sam shouldered her way up to stand beside them a few moments later.

"_Holy Hannah,"_ she breathed.

Annie spoke up, reciting the mountain's name with the perfect accent that only Daniel had managed to imitate correctly. "Mauna Po'okela Ahi 'Ai Honua."

"Mountain of great fire," Daniel said.

"One can only imagine," Annie agreed.

The church-like atmosphere continued for a few more hushed seconds and was suddenly broken when Major Scott Lawrence – with his typical irreverent ability to let anything stay quiet for too long – sang out the unmistakable opening lines of Marvin Gaye's classic song….

"_Listen, baby…."_

There were groans and laughter but he continued, spinning Annie around and pulling her out into the open space that served as a dance floor in the Rec Room.

"_Ain't no mountain high  
>Ain't no valley low<br>Ain't no river wide enough, baby…._ Come on, Jillian, sing with me."

Jillian turned in Daniel's arms and pushed him backwards with her hand in the center of his chest. Laughing, he took her into his arms in an informal dance hold as she sang…..

"_If you need me, call me_

_No matter where you are_

_No matter how far_

_Just call my name_

_I'll be there in a hurry_

_You don't have to worry….."_

"Everyone!" Scotty yelled.

The room erupted in dancing and off key singing….

" _**'Cause baby,**_

_**There ain't no mountain high enough**_

_**Ain't no valley low enough**_

_**Ain't no river wide enough**_

_**To keep me from getting to you….."**_

The spontaneous party continued for the next hour, as Prometheus made its approach to the planet. They laughed and sang and food arrived from somewhere. The impromptu karaoke went from ridiculous to sublime. Once word got out, people started arriving from other decks when they got off shift.

It broke up at last when the announcement came over the intercom that Prometheus was making its final approach and everyone should assume duty stations for planet arrival.

"Ready?" Daniel asked Jillian as they made their way back to their assigned quarters to gather the things they would need for a short stay planetside.

"More than ready," she smiled.

(0)


	171. Chapter 171

The first breath of air on a new planet was always an exhilarating experience, no matter that most members of the SGC teams were too well trained to show their reactions. The air surrounding the capitol city of Palolo on the main island of Haena was filled with tropical delights – rich florals and the crisp salt-scent of the breeze from the ocean. It was a city of elegant spires and towers shimmering silver and gold in the sunlight, rising up above trees with huge palm fronds. High in the sky, with multiple towers stretching for heaven itself was the capitol complex - Hale' Mailepai. Built into the sea cliff itself, this was the heart of the island and of the newly united Mau Lo'ans.

Between the island atmosphere and the fact that the city had a real functioning space port, Jillian was instantly bewitched by the place. Watching her mesmerized expression as they rode the open hover car to the building where they would be staying for the next few days, Daniel knew that he was more than glad he had stubbornly made this happen for her.

He looked over his shoulder at Sam, who was riding in the seat directly behind him. She was grinning broadly, blue eyes dancing.

"What do you think?" he asked.

"I think I just found my new favorite vacation destination," she laughed.

Daniel looked at Keeper Rand, seated beside Sam along the railing. He was goggle-eyed, staring transfixed at the city landscape. He was watching the small teams of robots directing the hovering traffic and roving up and down the streets cleaning.

Behind Sam and Keeper, the Whytes were staring with quiet wonder at the image of Mauna Po'okela Ahi 'Ai Honua. It dominated the skyline, casting a shadow that reached nearly to the shores of Haena. Its flanks were coated in silvery snow. Its peak was lost in the clouds. Daniel couldn't help but stare.

When she saw the direction Daniel and the Whytes were looking, their guide spoke up in halting, deliberate English

"We never see the peak of the mountain. It draws the clouds like the ground draws lightning."

"This is true of volcanoes all over the galaxy," Tanda Whyte remarked. "They make their own weather."

Their guide, Ka'eo, turned and watched Daniel as Tanda spoke. His hands moved with surety, adding the correct motions to accompany Tanda's words. Ka'eo had worked tirelessly to learn English in preparation for being the Earth liason. But it helped enormously when someone could give her the proper hand signs to make the message clear. Two members of Daniel's linguistic staff had already been assigned to Jillian's father while working on the treaty.

They rose up out of the main city and came at last to the capitol complex. The building they were taken to could easily have been a cross between a castle in Wales and a six star hotel. It was made of stone that looked like granite with accents that looked like marble. Their suite of rooms was on the third to last floor of an enormous tower. It took up the entire floor. They rode up the tower in the smoothest elevator any of them had ever encountered. Daniel could see Sam practically salivating as she tried to figure out the technology being used. When she caught him looking at her, she grinned, knowing he knew exactly what she was thinking.

There was a central room, circular but clearly intended to be a common area. A door directly across from the entrance was open to a terrace. A light breeze made a series of sheer curtains dance and ripple. Six other doors, three on each side, lined the walls.

The floors were patterned in an intricate geometric design and appeared to made of varying shades of colorful slate. There were rugs scattered at random. The furniture was all of carved dark wood that was possibly teak, polished to gleaming. The fabrics were done tastefully in every color of the rainbow. The walls were dark stained wood to a chair rail and then marble-like tile. A mural of inlaid tiles on one wall showed a detailed image of life on the islands.

A narrow table against one wall held what was obviously food - fruit, something that might have been some kind of nuts, and a metal pitcher slick with moisture beside a collection of silver cups. There was a very comfy-looking leather sofa arrangement that ran along two of the walls. The place was lit with glowing globes all along the vaulted ceilings and some in sconces on the walls.

A quick inspection behind the doors revealed equally luxurious bedrooms. There was a brief, friendly argument about who got what view – all of those being equally luxurious as well. Daniel was satisfied to be on the opposite side of the tower from the imposing volcano. They could see the city and the ocean and Jillian was enchanted with it. She was even more enchanted to find that each room had its own bathroom with a tub that would comfortably seat four. Sam was likewise enamored, commenting that some comforts seemed to be universal.

They brought their gear inside the room they had chosen and, once it had hit the bench along the wall, Daniel scooped Jillian up in his arms like a new bridegroom and carried her, laughing, to the bed (which could also easily have held four.)

"Daniel!" She turned his name into exaltation, a cry of pure joy riding the breeze of her laughter.

He stretched out beside her, fitting the length of his body along hers, covering her, pinning her to the bed. He slipped both arms around her and leaned in with every intention of kissing her. She made him hesitate by purring,

"I can't wait to get out on one of those beaches."

Daniel smiled, rubbed his nose against hers and feathered his lips along her jaw, the corner of her mouth, her cheeks and eyebrows and eyelids. He was tender, careful and yet the passion was obvious. Then he said in a throaty whisper, "I can't wait to get you into that tub."

She laughed again as their lips met but it quickly turned into a low groan. Hot, sensual awareness flooded them. Until Jillian, he had never known that desire, intensity and a sweet aching sensitivity to the needs and reactions of another being could all melt into one glorious sensation. It was as if his world had caught fire. Everything, everyone, was just a candle now – still warm but never enough.

He broke the kiss with gentle skill but stayed close to her, breathing with her.

The flush of desire had colored her cheeks by the time their lips parted – the natural effect of the kiss and the press of his body. She looked vulnerable and he could feel her body softening against his. There was yearning clear in her expression and in her green, lovely eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" he said, softly.

"What?"

"Why did you ask me if I'm happy?" He didn't give her a chance to answer, though she inhaled and seemed about to. "If I've done _anything_ to make you doubt that I am…."

"No, you haven't," she said, quickly.

Daniel lifted up on one elbow and stared down into her eyes, his own eyes piercing behind his glasses.

"Then why did you ask?"

Jillian ran her fingers over the taut skin of his upper arm and down past his elbow to his wrist. She appeared to be taking a moment to think and he let her have it – even though the touch of her hand was titillating to the point of making his thoughts stutter.

"As long as I've known you, you've been on a front line team fighting to keep everyone you love safe."

"That's true," he acknowledged.

"I guess I'm just wondering what you're going to do now."

He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. "I'm going to live with my wife and lavish love and attention on her while we raise our children."

"And when you're not doing that?" she asked.

Daniel heard the serious tone of her voice and swallowed his need to keep this lighthearted. She meant it and if he was honest with himself she was right. He had been happy on Abydos and he had loved his wife. It hadn't stopped him from needing adventure. It hadn't stopped his fatal curiosity. He knew what Jillian was worried about. He knew she didn't believe, even for a moment, that he was suddenly ready for a life of peaceful research. As relieved as he was about the defeat of the Goa'uld and the destruction of the Replicators, his overheated brain would still need fuel.

He sighed a little. Jillian knew him much too well.

He cradled her cheek in his palm for a moment and then brushed her hair off her forehead.

"I can think of thirty planets off the top of my head that will still be funded, no matter what else the government decides to do with the budget. There are still countless Gate addresses we haven't dialed and I know we can count on the Langford-Littlefield Foundation for that funding. It won't hurt that Catherine offered me a seat on the Board just before she died. The defense budget is going to take a hit and Jack won't like it but the exploration budget should be safe."

"And you think we'll still get to go to all of them?"

"Well, the SGC, not us personally," he said.

When she looked hesitant he went on, "Jack's going to make sure, too, Jillian."

"Jack?" she twisted around onto her side, surprise on her face and in her voice. "I thought Sam said Jack was going to retire. He promised her."

During their recent time at Jack's cabin, Sam had confessed to Jillian that she and Jack were together and just waiting for his retirement to make their relationship public. Knowing both his wife and his team mate of eight years almost as well as they knew him, Daniel had figured it out. So now Sam knew that Jillian knew but not that Daniel did. Neither Sam, Jillian nor Daniel had any idea if Teal'c knew. Jack didn't know any of them knew for sure but suspected they all did.

Daniel took a deep breath and looked away.

"Jack's been asked to take Hammond's place in DC."

"What?"

"And he wants to do it."

"Is he crazy?"

"No, he just has certain goals for the SGC that he can accomplish in DC." When Daniel saw Jillian's eyes narrow in disapproval he went on quickly, "and he wants to have knee surgery. There's a new procedure that's minimally invasive and can be performed at GWU hospital."

"He promised Sam," Jillian said, flatly. "She is _not_ going to be happy."

"Sam is going to Area 51 and Jack set that up for her."

"And she thinks he's going with her!"

That made Daniel pause. "She does?"

"YES!"

"She said that?"

"Yes," Jillian said.

"Damn," Daniel said softly.

Jillian sighed then too and fell onto her back again. "They _really_ need to start talking to each other."

"Look, Jill, I want them to be okay too. But they're adults and they've got to work this out for themselves. I think Sam is more ambitious in her career than she's probably let on to you. She might be fine with all this and she'll understand if Jack has certain things he needs to finish."

"I hope you're right."

"I don't know really. I just know that messing with their relationship is _not_ something I want to do."

"Why does love have to be so complicated?" Jillian sighed.

"I don't know. It took me three years to work up the courage to tell you I loved you and we turned out all right."

When she didn't agree with him right away he pressed, "Didn't we?"

Jillian took pity on him. She stoked his face and gave him a warm, tender smile. "Yes we turned out more than all right. I just….. I don't want to lose you. Just, whatever we do now, I need you to be safe out there, the same way you need me to be safe. I just feel as if ten minutes into this opportunity to be actual peaceful explorers you're going to be bored out of your mind. It scares me, Daniel."

Daniel didn't answer that, at least not directly. He felt his heart contract painfully around all the love he felt for her; and all the pain and fear and uncertainty and love and forgiveness that had been part of her relationship with him – all squeezed into that one throbbing beat of his heart.

_Why did love have to be so complicated…?_

He bent over and began feathering kisses on her face again.

"I think," he said, in between soft touches of his lips, "that I am married to someone I find utterly fascinating and she's very – _very_ – good at finding ways to keep me from being bored."

His hand went up under her t-shirt, fingers swirled against the soft skin over her ribs and then higher until he had her breast cupped in his palm. Jillian sighed, closed her eyes and arched a little.

He kissed her lightly and was just shifting closer when someone knocked on the door. Daniel suppressed a groan.

"Daniel! Jillian!" Sam called from the other side of the heavy teak wood.

"What?" Daniel yelled.

"Jillian's dad is here!"

Jillian inhaled and exhaled slowly, sinking back into the thick mattress. Daniel collapsed against her for a moment, breathing in soft gasps.

"Your dad's here," he said, against her neck.

"Yeah, I heard. Rain check?"

"I'll hold you to that," he said, rubbing his cheek against her hair for a moment.

He helped her stand up and waited while she dug a brush out of her pack and fixed her hair so that it didn't quite look as if she had just gotten out of bed.

Just before they walked out the door, Daniel took her hand and held it tight.

"Jillian," he began and then had to stop the surge of words, too much, too important, no real way to reassure her that nothing in the galaxy was more important to him now than being with her, no matter how long and frantically he spoke.

She stopped him by reaching up to rest her palm on the side of his face. She smiled and the look in her eyes made all the words dry up and drift away.

Jillian knew and Daniel realized suddenly that he often spent hours with Jillian in silence. In a world that continually required Daniel to talk, explain, translate, describe, report and often forced him to do so in long-winded run on paragraphs – with Jillian he could be wordless….

And still be perfectly understood.

(0)


	172. Chapter 172

Daniel ran his hand over the carvings on the wall, brushing away dust and cobwebs that had collected over a century. According to Ka'eo that is at least as long as this research station had been abandoned.

In an attempt to satisfy Daniel's request to see ruins and Sam's request to see technology and the Whyte's need to get closer to Mt. Honua, Ka'eo had brought them one hundred klicks off the coast of Haena to a smaller island. In days far out of memory, according to Ka'eo, it had been the center of worship of the god Mauai. The old temple had eventually been converted to an unmanned volcano watch station and then abandoned when it was obvious that Mt. Honua seemed destined to remain quiet. The occasional rumble and slow ooze of lava from the fissures on its ancient sides had not been enough to continue funding the project, Ka'eo explained.

Scotty and Annie had tagged along just for fun. Jack had arrived through the Star Gate just in time to join the group.

From the outside the building looked like any of dozens of temples they had discovered over the years. It was dirt-streaked white marble overgrown with vines as the surrounding jungle sought to reclaim it. The roof may once have been reeds or palm fronds but had been replaced with the silver metal common on many of the buildings in the city. The inside was just as dust and vine covered but any resemblance to a temple ended abruptly inside the first door. The inside strongly looked like an air traffic control room, with consoles and instruments everywhere. The only hint that this had once been a temple was in the fading painting and carvings on the wall.

Sam was at the far side of the large room trying to pry a panel off a control panel. Jillian was brushing dirt off a section of painting, trying to get a better look. Jack was prowling the room looking unhappy that there was only one exit and no doubt wishing he hadn't left his sidearm back in tower room on Haena.

Scotty, Annie, the Whytes and Ka'eo had opted to take a walk up a short trail to the top of the island to see what Ka'eo claimed was a truly spectacular view of the volcano.

"What does it say?" Sam asked Daniel.

Lost in a translation, it took Daniel a moment to respond. Even after eight years he still seemed slightly startled when someone took an interest in what he was doing.

"This?" He asked, pointing to it. "Well, it's not instructions for whatever you're looking at over there. It's ummm, a prayer or a blessing. It may even be a song. There is a lot of repetition."

Sam straightened up and gave him a look of affectionate exasperation.

"What does it _say_?" She repeated.

"Oh!" Daniel looked back at it, so he missed the look that passed between Sam and Jillian. "It, ummm, it says:

"Safeguard us

That we may flourish in the heavens

That we may flourish this place

That we may flourish in these islands

Grant us knowledge

Grant us strength

Grant us intelligence

Grant us understanding

Grant us insight

Grant us power

The prayer is lifted, it is free."

He paused and looked at Sam. "There's more," he said.

"Go on," Sam encouraged.

Daniel looked skeptical for a moment but kept reading.

"Ancestors from the rising to the setting sun

From the zenith to the horizon

Ancestors who stand at our back and front

You who stand at our right hand

Hear us cry from across the heavens

A breathing in the heavens

An utterance in the heavens

A clear, ringing voice in the heavens

A voice reverberating in the heavens

Calling to you

Beseeching you

We are here

Here are your descendants

Find us. Come to us."

The women were quiet for a moment when he was done and then Jillian said,

"It sounds as if they were reaching out to the people of Earth. They knew this was not their original home."

"So it seems," Daniel agreed.

"So we have what then? Proof of what we already knew?" Jack asked. He had stopped pacing at a midway point between Sam and the door.

Daniel stared at Jack for a moment and then said, in a low, deadly, toneless voice. "Yes, Jack. That's exactly what it means."

He moved to another series of writings on the wall and Jillian moved with him. They all worked in silence for a few minutes. Jack resumed his circuit of the room, pausing by the door for a bit; and then a soft rumbling caught all their attention.

SGC trained and experience honed they all froze. For a moment it seemed like thunder but it had been a clear day with clear skies in all directions when they had entered the temple. Then it got louder and sounded like heavy machinery. Then they saw the dust begin a frantic, helpless dance as it responded to vibrations that were still too tenuous to feel.

All at once they realized what it was.

"Down!" Jack shouted, "Earthquake! Sam!"

He started to run across the room but the floor pitched wildly at that moment and turned it into a graceless stagger. Sam turned towards him and took a step, looking around for a table close enough, a door frame, _anything;_ but then it was too late. The snarl of tearing earth exploded into a roar, shaking them so hard that teeth rattled and the vibrations could be felt in their bones.

Daniel launched himself at Jillian, grabbed her around the waist and hauled her without ceremony under a metal table. The tile floor beneath them was swaying, gently at first and then with increasing force. Daniel wrapped both arms around her, held her head against his shoulder with one hand and curled the rest of his body around her in a tight ball. He pulled his glasses off just as everything began to shake in earnest.

"Jack!" He shouted, unable to see where his team mates were.

"Stay where you are!" Jack ordered, hollering over the sound of nature rearranging the land.

Daniel curled up even tighter, protecting her with his arms and legs, his back and shoulders, as a cascade of broken roof tiles began thundering on the table above their heads. A cracking noise preceded the sound of something heavy splintering and crashing somewhere near the door.

"Daniel," Jillian whimpered.

A screech of ripping metal prevented him from answering. There was another crash and more tiles rained from the ceiling.

It lasted no more than seconds but at last the rippling floor lay still and the last of the ceiling trickled down with a slither of plaster. Metal groaned and then fell silent.

"Jack!" Daniel yelled, at the same moment that Jack yelled, "Daniel!"

"Yeah," Daniel said. He loosened his hold on Jillian enough to lean back, take her face between his hands and look down into her wide eyes. She nodded in answer to his unspoken question. "We're fine but, uh….." He put his glasses back on and looked around. There was nothing but slabs of stone and metal surrounding the table, "I think we're trapped under here."

"All right, stay there. Sam!"

They all waited for Sam to respond. Long seconds passed. Jillian gripped Daniel's forearms and looked up at him, fighting panic.

"Sam!" Daniel shouted.

There was still no answer.

"Jack, can you see her?"

"Not from where I am. There's nothing where she was but a cabinet that fell off the wall."

"Sam!" Daniel yelled louder.

The room shivered suddenly and metal moaned again.

"Jack, what's the room look like?"

"It's bad. A couple of roof supports are down, a couple more are hanging by a thread. Stay there!"

Daniel could hear the sound of debris being tossed aside. Something trickled onto the metal table. A twist of metal next to them was hauled backwards and dust-flecked daylight poured into the opening. Jack bent down and peered in at them. His face was chalked with white dust and there was a cute on his temple.

"Doing okay?"

"Oh yeah, this is great, couldn't be better," Daniel quipped.

"All right, you can get out as soon as there is somewhere to go. Right now you're safer under there."

"What about Sam?"

"I'll get her," Jack said, with grim determination.

Daniel peered out through the narrow opening. It was just wide enough for him to see Jack wading through knee-deep debris. Beneath the noise he was making they could hear the ominous tick-by-tick sound of stone and plaster continuing to splinter from the stress.

"Daniel," Jillian whispered again.

He looked back at her again in alarm. "What? Are you hurt?"

"No, I don't think so. But what if there are aftershocks? The roof…."

Daniel took her face between his hands. "_Shhhh_. Shhhhh. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You know that."

Her hand gripped his wrist. "What about you?" she asked.

Daniel didn't have an answer for that. He was willing to risk his own death or serious injury to protect her and they both knew that. He had looked death in the face and never blinked too many times in his career and sometimes death even won – for a time.

But he wasn't going to lose Jillian and if it was at all possible, he wasn't going to make her live without him ever again.

Then his attention was caught by Jack hurling a broken cabinet out of the way to reveal Sam. She was lying on her side with blood trickling from a cut on her forehead. Her eyes were closed and she was pale.

Jack kicked more rubble out of the way and knelt, leaning over to listen for her breathing. When he sat back up his fingers were resting on her throat, on her carotid artery. His silence was unbearable.

"Is she all right?" Daniel demanded.

"No, Daniel she is _not_ all right. In case you missed it, she's unconscious and bleeding in a room that just got trashed by an earthquake."

"Jack!" Daniel growled, impatiently.

O'Neill relented.

"She's breathing and her pulse is strong." He shook her gently, "Sam! Sam, wake up."

But she remained unresponsive and Jack shot Daniel a grim look.

"That's three," Daniel commented.

Jack stared, blank. "Three what?" he asked.

"Three times you've called her Sam. I haven't heard you call her anything but Carter in seven years. Well, six considering the year I wasn't with you…."

"Daniel!"

"What"

"We're gonna do this _now_? Seriously?"

Daniel blinked.

"Okay, yeah. What's the situation then?"

Jack looked up. "The ceiling is cracking."

The splintering sound was getting more insistent, accompanied now by the unmistakable sound of bending metal.

From outside there was a sudden sound of voices, one much louder than the rest.

"_Jillian_!"

She looked up, startled. "That's Scotty."

Of course, Daniel thought. Like all members of an SGC team, Scotty would be more worried about Jillian than anyone else.

"Lawrence!" Jack yelled.

"Yes sir!" The response came back with military precision. "How are you all doing in there, sir?"

"Is everyone out there all right?"

"Yes sir! We all got knocked off our feet but no one is hurt. Ka'eo is taking the Whytes back to the main island. She called for help. What is your situation, sir?"

There was a loud crack as a beam in the ceiling began surrendering to the stress.

"I don't think help from Haena is going to get here fast enough," Jack said.

Jillian moved closer to Daniel, clinging. He wrapped his arms around her tighter.

"Our situation is _not_ good," Jack hollered, "Captain, do _not_ attempt to get through the front of this building. I repeat, do _not _touch the front of this building. The roof is about to come down."

"Understood, sir. Suggestions?"

Jack looked around and then looked at Daniel.

"I got nothing. Any move we make is likely to bring this whole place down on us."

Daniel's eyes tracked back and forth rapidly behind his glasses, as if he was scrolling through possibilities in his mind and just as quickly discarding them.

"Ummm, ummm, _Prometheus_!"

"It can't get here any faster than help from the main island," Jack said.

"But it as the new Asgard beam," Daniel said, "They can beam us out of here."

"They need to know where we are," Jack countered, "We need locator beacons. Happen to have one?"

"Not on me," Daniel admitted.

"What about Keeper?" Jillian said, suddenly.

"Keeper? Rand?" Jack repeated. "The robot guy?"

"No, no, she's right," Daniel said, his brain already running ahead to Jillian's point. "He can use one of the mapbots to get in here with the locators."

Jack held Daniel's eyes for a moment. "Could work," he admitted. "Lawrence!"

"Sir!" Scotty shouted.

"Get on the radio. Contact Prometheus. Tell them we need Dr. Rand, one of his robots and four locator beacons and we need that _five minutes ago."_

"Yes, sir!" Scotty sounded unbelievably relieved to have something to do.

"Daniel," Jack said.

"What?"

"I need your help."

"Doing?"

"We have to find an opening big enough for a mapbot to get in here."

Daniel frowned and shook his head. He didn't want to leave Jillian, but Jack was right. He held her tight for a moment.

"I'll be right back."

Jillian didn't argue.

Daniel crawled slowly out into the wreckage. He risked a glance at the ceiling and found it sagging dangerously, hairline cracks inching wider. The remaining support beams looked like kindling. He muttered a particularly foul curse in Chinese under his breath.

"We should get Sam under the table."

Jack shook his head emphatically but didn't look happy. "No, she could have a back injury, or worse. Not moving her. We get out of here, Daniel."

Overhead there was another loud crack by the door. Jack and Daniel threw themselves against the back wall, covering Sam, as a huge section of roof cascaded down. One of the support beams simply buckled and cracked in two. Dust and debris rained on them. When it cleared there was a huge chunk of roof teetering precariously on a few broken beams, air and the sincere will power of Jack and Daniel.

"Daniel!" Jillian cried.

"It's okay! We're fine"

Jack and Daniel stood up, cautiously.

"Well the bad news is that the door is even more blocked," Jack said.

"There's good news?" Daniel wondered, ruffling dirt and broken tiles out of his hair.

Jack gestured to the top of the front wall. "We don't have to look for an opening anymore."

Daniel followed Jack's hand with his eyes. Sure enough there was daylight streaming through a sizable hole in the wall where the ceiling had once been.

"General O'Neill!" Scotty's voice called. "Dr. Rand is here!"

"General?" Keeper's voice sounded shaky. "I've got one of the mapbots, sir. Clover. But she can only carry two of the locators at a time. They weren't designed to carry weight at all really. I could probably make a few modifications in the future but this isn't what they were originally meant to do…."

"Rand! Send them in!" Jack ordered. Under his breath he muttered, "Scientists."

"Sam and Jillian first," Daniel said, unnecessarily.

"Ya betcha," Jack replied.

A soft whirring noise announced the arrival of Clover. The small 'bot was moving like a drunken bumblebee. There were two black shapes duct taped to the top of it. Jack surged forward through the mess to grab it.

"Bring it down, Keeper!" Daniel shouted.

Clover dropped and Jack grabbed it.

"Shut it off!" He yelled and Clover stopped struggling in Jack's grip.

Jack ripped the tape off and tossed a beacon to Daniel, who was still standing by Sam. He knelt and put it in Sam's hand. He pushed it and Sam vanished in a familiar blue-lit whine.

Jack pushed forward once again to the table and tossed the other beacon under it for Jillian.

"Daniel!" she said.

"Go! For gods' sake, Jillian!"

Another blue-lit whine sounded and Daniel was helplessly, achingly grateful for it. Looking at Jack he saw the same emotion reflected back at him.

"Rand!" Jack yelled. "Recall this little beast!"

Clover stirred back to life, lifted and shot back towards the opening in the ceiling. The loosely balanced section of roof groaned and shifted. Jack moved towards Daniel, herding him bodily up against the rear wall. It wasn't going to do much good and they both knew it. If that slab came down it was going to bring the rest of the roof with it.

"General, Clover is coming back!" Keeper hollered.

"Okay," Jack said. He started to move into the center of the room again and Daniel grabbed his arm. The roof slab was starting to shift downward, like the slow motion start of an avalanche.

Clover showed up again, moving fast.

"Straight!" Jack yelled. "Just stay that course! …. Okay, shut it off!"

Clover dropped out of the air millimeters before it would have either hit the wall or veered in another direction. Jack was still catching it as Daniel ripped the tape back. They hit the signal on the beacons just as roof teetered, rocked and gravity won. The slab came slamming down above them.

The last thing they saw before it would have crushed them was the shimmer of blue that heralded the Asgard transporter beam.

(0)


	173. Chapter 173

Some time later Daniel found Jack on the Bridge of the Prometheus. He was in full 'General' mode, serious, a commanding presence even just sitting – slightly slouched - in the center chair listening to several people all reporting to him at once. There was something leonine about him, Daniel decided, something lethal and alert even at his most laconic.

Jack caught Daniel's eye in a quick glance that acknowledged Daniel's presence. The Airman reporting to him final wound down and Jack stood. He strode towards a door at the side of the Bridge, motioning with his head for Daniel to follow.

"Pendergast!" He said.

"Sir!"

"I'm using your office," Jack informed him.

"Yes, sir."

The room was sparse even by military standards. But it had a desk and two chairs. Jack claimed the chair at the desk, leaving the other one for Daniel.

Daniel didn't miss the slight grimace that crossed Jack's rugged face as he sat down. His knee – or both of them – was bothering him and Daniel hoped he hadn't wrenched something during the earthquake. Jack hadn't bothered getting checked out and if, Daniel knew him, he wasn't going to get checked out for hours still.

"How is the ship?" Daniel asked.

"Minor damage, nothing structural. Some stuff that fell off tables. No injuries. The damned thing's been designed to get shot at and travel at lightspeed. It better be able to withstand some ground shaking."

Daniel stayed quiet for a moment. Jack was at about a ten on his 'annoyed scale.' It didn't get much higher. He decided to let Jack speak next…..

Which he did not too much longer.

"Jillian resting?"

Daniel frowned. "Yes. She was sleeping when I left her," he regarded Jack closely. "I suppose you've had a medic reporting to you?"

"Regularly."

"Then you know that Sam has a mild concussion and some minor bruises and they're going to let her wake up on her own?"

"Yes," Jack answered, "and I know that Jillian is fine. Anything you want to add to that?"

"Do I need to?"

"It's not like I asked for the personal details, Daniel."

"She's fine. The baby's fine. We did an ultrasound just to make sure. Thank you again for finding Alex. It went a long way to calming her down."

_The Asgard beam had transported Jack and Daniel directly to the sick bay on the Prometheus and found it a hive of buzzing efficiency. Sam was being wheeled into an exam room by two medics and Daniel felt Jack take an involuntary step forward to go with her and then stop when he realized he couldn't._

_Jillian was standing with Scotty's arms around her. Daniel felt a surge of mixed emotions – a slight twinge of jealousy, gratitude that she had someone comforting her and relief that she was all right. It helped that Annie was standing behind Scotty with her forehead resting on his back and her hand on his forearm. Scott let Jillian go the moment they saw Daniel and she had run to him, flung her arms around him and held tight._

_It went a long way to easing the twinge of jealousy. Daniel knew that Scott loved Jillian, but only in the same way Daniel loved Sam. There had been no mistaking the undertone of panic in Scott's military-professional voice when he was outside the crumbling temple. It had matched the sound of his own voice – and Jack's – when Sam hadn't answered them._

_Daniel locked eyes with Scotty across the brief distance between them and nodded a little._

"_Thanks," he said, "for getting us out of there."_

"_Not a problem," Scotty answered and then he turned away, reaching for Annie and wrapping her up in his arms._

_Jillian was shaking and Daniel started swaying a little, whispering in a mix of Dutch and English that it was okay and it was all over now._

"_I need to know where my Dad is," she had begged._

_Daniel hugged her, carded his fingers through into her hair and said, "Okay, but I'm not leaving you until I know you're completely all right."_

"_Daniel, please," Jillian insisted._

_Beside him Jack spoke up, "I'll go."_

_Daniel looked at him in surprise. "You will?"_

"_Yeah. Nothing I can do here anyway. I'm sure Pendergast has it under control but I should check anyway, see what assistance we're offering. I can track down Dr. North in the process."_

"_Thank you, Jack," Jillian had said, softly._

Within a half an hour Jack had Alexander North speaking to his daughter over the ship's comm system. He had told them the city was largely untouched as earthquakes were common and the buildings had been designed to handle them. The epicenter had been nearly one hundred kilometers off the south shore of Mt. Hanau. It had just been a 'wrong place/wrong time' situation that had placed Daniel, Jack, Sam and Jillian in an abandoned building just as the earthquake hit.

Alexander told them that the government complex was still being checked for structural damage and advised that they should all just stay on board Prometheus for the time being.

The sound of her father's voice and her baby's heartbeat had been all Jillian needed to help her sleep.

Daniel had to admit that it was a great relief to know Alexander was all right and for the other… Well, for someone who was less than an inch big, his son sounded pretty strong.

"Good," Jack said.

"I don't think I've ever seen Jillian like that," Daniel said, softly.

There was the slightest change in Jack's demeanor. Without seeming to move at all he was somehow more alert.

"Like what?"

"That …..scared."

"Look, Daniel. Your wife is a part of a front line SGC team. You know what she's faced out there. I know you're used to getting nothing but grace under pressure from her. But everything changes when there's a baby involved, Daniel. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You ever remember being that scared? Ever?"

"I don't remember being scared at all," Daniel answered. "Not then, not during the earthquake. I didn't have time. I didn't get scared until right before the ultrasound. Then….. yeah, I guess I've never been so scared in my life."

Jack nodded. "Everything changes."

Daniel decided not to press Jack about that. He knew that there was only one time in Jack's life that he had been terrified out of his mind – and in that case his worst fears had come true. There was nothing Jack would ever face worse than the moments just after he'd heard a gunshot from his bedroom 9 years ago.

He started to comment that this was all happening at a time in his life when everything seemed to be changing anyway when Col. Pendergast appeared in the doorway.

"Sir?"

Jack looked up and the Colonel went on. "Sorry for the interruption, General, but you said you wanted to be notified immediately when Col. Carter woke up."

Jack and Daniel both stood up as one fluid unit and headed for the door.

"I'll be in sickbay, Colonel," Jack said.

"Understood, sir."

(0)

It was unusual for the medical department of the Prometheus to work double shifts. The ship had served mostly as a shuttle and cargo transport. It was rarely used in battle and when it was, they were close to Earth and additional personnel.

This time the crew had been called on to offer humanitarian aid to the people of Haena and the surrounding lesser islands. There had been no fatalities, thankfully. The people were clearly used to earthquakes and had ridden this one out well. According to the geologists from the SGC the quake had been the equivalent of a 5.9 on the Richter.

That didn't mean the medical centers and hospitals weren't busy with injuries, some of them serious. Airman and USAFMS nurse Monica Hunter had already been on her feet for an eight hour shift when the quake hit. She had volunteered to be in the first group of personnel being sent to assist in the city. Instead of going straight to her quarters when she had finally returned to the ship, she had gone to sickbay to see if there was anything else that needed to be done.

Things were fairly quiet when she arrived, though there was someone in the private isolation room and that was odd.

"Who's in there?" She had directed the question to a fellow Airman, Craig Philips.

He seemed surprised. "You don't know?"

"Can't tell from out here," she answered, trying to peer through the window without getting caught doing so.

The figure in the bed was quite still beneath the green sheets and there was a flash of blond hair on the pillow.

"That's Colonel Carter," Philips answered, "She got caught out on the small island and a cabinet fell on her. She's been unconscious."

"Colonel Carter!" Monica gasped.

She had been on board the Prometheus since it had left Earth and Monica hadn't see Colonel Carter even once. She had been hoping for even a glimpse. The missions of SG1 were required reading for anyone who had been approved for the SGC program, even those destined to serve on Prometheus instead of traveling through the Gate. SG1, and especially Colonel Samantha Carter, had become heroes for the young Airman. But the Colonel had proved elusive; as had Dr. Jackson and his wife, Dr. North.

Like an aircraft carrier on Earth, the Prometheus was a floating city in itself. It wasn't unusual to go for weeks without one department seeing anyone from another.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Philips asked.

Monica shrugged, craning for a better look. "She's SG1, you know? They aren't supposed to get hurt."

"You read the missions. They're human, not indestructable. They get hurt like the rest of us."

"Not in earthquakes! That seems pretty senseless. Is she going to be all right?"

"She woke up a few minutes ago. I just delivered the message to the Bridge."

"Okay, that's good." She was about to ask for more details when two men came through the main door. All the words she had ready to say died unspoken.

"Isn't that….Isn't that? Oh my god, it _is," _she stammered.

The tall man with the graying hair and the rugged planes and angles of a face she had only ever seen in pictures was Brigadier General Jonathan O'Neill. He was much taller than Monica had ever imagined and such a….. a _presence_ that he seemed to charge the air just by his occupation of it. He was all trim muscle and implied strength beneath a slightly rumpled desert tan BDU. He stood with authority and he moved like Secret Service. His face was shockingly handsome, younger-looking than she knew he was, but older somehow, too, etched with experience. It was a face that could automatically convey calm strength no matter what was going on around him.

"General O'Neill," Philips said, unnecessarily, "Why? Jeezus, Hunter, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"_And_ Dr. Jackson! That's one-_half_ of SG1," she hissed, excitedly, "Did you ever think you'd get to see any of them in person?"

"They're not rock stars," Philips said, but Monica couldn't help but notice he was staring too.

The other man was obviously Dr. Jackson. He was turned in profile to her as he listened to Dr. Reese's report. It was a stunning profile - strong jaw and chin, slightly turned-up nose, full lips, short hair in a casual, bedroom-tousle. He was Hollywood-handsome, with something almost boyish to his chiseled symmetry. Even from the side and behind his glasses he had striking eyes, which she had never noticed before in any of the formal photos she had seen of the team.

As if he had felt her eyes, Dr. Jackson turned his head and looked casually at her. For a moment Monica felt as if sickbay had literally disappeared. Full on his eyes were not just striking, they were astonishing clear blue, crinkling around the edges with the kind of lines acquired by squinting into the sun in tropical places. There was quiet curiosity in his gaze, sharpening into something like amusement as if he had just suddenly realized something.

Slowly, Dr. Jackson cocked his head. The hint of a shy smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. It seemed to Monica that he came just short of nodding to her before turning his attention back to the General and Dr. Reese.

_God,_ she thought,_ imagine being married to him…_

The men spoke to the doctor for another brief moment and then moved off towards the isolation room in lock step.

The moment the General and Dr. Jackson entered the isolation room, Colonel Carter sat up. Any sign of weakness or injury were not apparent. She moved with a kind of fluid grace with her eyes riveted on her CO. General O'Neill was standing with his back to the window, but it seemed he must have spoken. Monica could see his jaw move and whatever he said made Colonel Carter's eyes widened slightly, as though what he said was enlightenment or epiphany. It caused an immediate reaction, a connection between them and a slow - and very sensual - smile spread her already lovely mouth into a shape of beauty. Samantha Carter was not just beautiful. Suddenly, in the presence of her teammates, she was luminous.

She transformed completely from patient to Colonel Carter right before Monica's eyes. Suddenly three-fourths of the legendary SG1 was _right there_.

She was startled out of her euphoric vision of her heroes by the gruff voice of her CO.

"Hunter!" Reese snapped.

"Sir!" She answered.

"You're asleep on your feet. Go get some rest. Everything's under control here."

"Yes, sir."

Lowly Airman Monica Hunter took one more look at the image of SG1, wished just a little bit that Teal'c had been there too and then turned to seek the quiet of her quarters.

(0)


	174. Chapter 174

The last fire-gold sliver of the Mau Loan sun slipped below the blue-green ocean and cast a deep crimson and orange glow in the western sky. The first diamond bright stars could be seen. Later as the sky faded to ebony they would be able to see the lights from the string of ships ringing the planet.

Jillian's body resting in his arms was warmer than the evening air, which had a hint of summer in it. They were both dressed in nothing but tank shirts and shorts and Daniel knew that he'd get cold sooner than she would as sunset faded to twilight. But not as fast as he normally would. Not with her pressed against him in a lazy curl. She was seated between his spread thighs with her back against his chest and her head resting on his shoulder. She had her legs drawn up, bare and tanned and tantalizing under the light caress of his fingers.

He hadn't been able to take his eyes off her at dinner. The earthquake had interfered with their first official welcoming state dinner. But it had been rescheduled and gone off without a hitch earlier that evening. Jillian had been like an exotic flower with her dark auburn hair, wearing an electric blue dress that was suitably 'island' colored and still unique among the bright colors favored by the Mau Lo'ans. She had stood out among the dark haired, dark-eyed natives like the last rose in her garden back on Earth. He loved her in that particular dress, though it boasted a significant lack of material in his opinion. It made her legs go on for miles and emphasized the shadow between her truly lovely breasts.

In a room full of people he had always managed to find her – magnificent from her smoldering eyes to the toes peeping out from her ridiculously high heels.

They had been glad to return to their room and shed their finery for tanks and shorts; and though she was now dressed in even less than before, they were alone and the visual feast of her body was for his eyes only.

Well, his hands and his eyes. He had no doubt where the evening was going to end. Jillian had swept him with an appraising look when he had changed from his suit to his shorts. Her intent was as clear as if she had written it across the crimson sky.

But he wanted this time with her, watching the sunset and reconnecting after an evening of socializing.

And there was something very important he needed to tell her – had needed to tell her for weeks now and been avoiding.

Or perhaps it was better to say that he had something to ask her; and that if Jillian said no, then the answer was no. It was not an answer he was used to taking at face value. It had never been an answer he accepted without a fight.

But in this case he would. She held all the power at the moment.

She interrupted his thoughts with a question of her own.

"Do you think we could find a beach and go swimming in the ocean tomorrow?"

"Sure," he said instantly. "If that's what you want." _If you're still speaking to me, _he added to himself.

Her fingers caressed a slow trail over his forearm. She'd been touching him in an intensely sensual way since before the sun had drifted out of the sky. "Are you ready to go inside yet?"

"Ummmm." The actual answer was _oh god yes_ but he had to finally talk to her about the proposal from the Langford-Littlefield Foundation.

Jillian sat up a bit and gave him an amused look over her shoulder. "That's not usually your reaction."

"No it's not," he acknowledged, "but there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about and I decided that now's the best time. I….."

"Daniel," she cut him off sharply and turned around to face him.

"What?"

"Is this about going to Atlantis? For the Foundation?"

"What?" He was stunned but recovered quickly, "H-hhhow can you possibly know about that?"

"I checked our phone messages before I left the house for the last time. There was one from Sabrina Gosling asking if you had made up your mind about the fact-finding mission to Atlantis."

"Are you kidding? You've known all this time?"

"I don't know the details. I do know you haven't made up your mind or there wouldn't have been a last minute phone message from the Foundation on our machine hours before we were scheduled to board Prometheus. I can extrapolate from there that you are still considering it but I also know that you would _never_ leave me right now, so you must want me to go with you and you've been weighing the pros and cons of that."

"You knew." He repeated it as if he was still trying to accept this new reality.

"I've been trying to get you to talk to me about this for days! Why do you think I kept asking if you were happy and what you want to do now?"

Daniel stared at her, searching her face in wonder. He had been dealing with a situation he could barely articulate and she had already known. His heart began to beat heavily, suddenly aware that there was more at stake than he had realized.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked softly, his voice colored by self-condemnation.

"No," seeing his incredulous look she explained, "It's Atlantis, Daniel. I wouldn't expect you to turn that down flat. Of course you want to give it serious consideration. I've been trying to figure out what my answer would be, when you finally talked to me about this."

"You mean it just isn't automatically 'no'?"

"It's Atlantis, Daniel," she said again, patiently, "and this might be the last opportunity we have to go. We should talk about it."

"All right, so let's talk. What do you want to know?"

"Why is the Foundation asking you to do this now?"

Daniel curled his legs around her and drew her back into the circle of his arms. He inhaled and started to explain.

"You know Catherine called me a week before she died?"

"Yes. It was the last time you spoke to her. You told me she was stepping down as Chairman of the Board and wanted you to take her place."

"Yes. She just didn't have the heart for it after Ernest died. I think Atlantis recharged both of them at first but when she lost him again…. It didn't seem like she wanted to continue with the Foundation after that. What she didn't tell me was that she had left letters for the other members of the Board revealing the existence of the Star Gate and just what exactly Project Atlantis really was."

"Oh my god," Jillian breathed. "So much for nondisclosure."

"Not much the government can do about it. Putting out that fire was left to General Hammond."

"Poor man," Jillian murmured, "No wonder he wants to retire and hand his job over to Jack."

"Seriously," Daniel agreed, "My first board meeting was interesting too."

The Board of Directors of the Langford-Littlefield Foundation now consisted of Sabrina Gosling and her husband and two of Ernest Littlefield's nephews. They had been stunned to find out where their uncle had really been for fifty years and what Project Atlantis really was.

"But now they want you to go to Atlantis?"

"Yes. They want a hands on report about exactly what the Foundations money is paying for, what we can hope to gain from Atlantis and they want that report from me. Well, us actually. I told them we're a package deal."

"And you didn't tell them about the baby?"

"No. I told them I had to think about it and I would discuss it with you."

Jillian was studying him with an unreadable expression. He had an idea that he knew what she was thinking. Even as little as a year ago he would have said yes immediately and then come home to tell her they were going.

"All right," she said, quietly, "So what's the time frame?"

"We'd go on the Daedalus. It leaves in a month."

"So that puts the baby at twelve weeks before we even leave Earth."

"Yes, but you've been clinging to twelve weeks as a milestone so is that a problem? Tell me if it is."

"No, it's not."

"You're sure?"

"I'm not going to lie to you about any of this Daniel! It's too important. I have no objections to traveling on board Daedalus at twelve weeks; not any more than I did coming on board Prometheus now."

"All right! You already know it's three weeks to the Pegasus galaxy. After that, the schedule is ours. We could wrap up everything in a few weeks and come back on the Daedalus during any of its supply runs."

"So we can be back before the baby is born?"

"I don't see any reason why not. If we consider worst case scenarios, we walk through the Star Gate or we have the first child conceived with the help of aliens and born in another galaxy."

She laughed. He relished the sound.

"So what do you think?"

"Atlantis is cloaked?"

"Yes."

"We won't leave the city?"

"No."

"Neither of us?"

"I won't leave you, Jill; and you're probably safer on the Daedalus than you are on the interstate commuting to the mountain. I mean, what's it got? 32 Railguns, Mark VIII and IX tactical warheads, and a bay of F-302 fighter-interceptors, Asgard shields and beaming technology. It would be like having you in a fortress."

"You've checked into this?"

"Why?"

"I can't believe you knew that much tactical information off the top of your head."

"I asked Sam earlier," Daniel said.

"Ah. Did she ask you why you wanted to know?"

"I told her I'd explain later."

Jillian nodded. Sam would accept that. SG1 was long past needing instant answers from each other.

"The condo is empty and we can just leave it that way until we get back," Daniel went on. He was correct about that. When their last tenant had left they had decided to update Daniel's former home. It was in move-in condition now but it was also true that they hadn't done anything about seeking a new renter. Someone from the SGC would no doubt need it at some point and they were content to wait. "The property management company we use for the condo can watch the house too. I already checked."

"So I'm having a hard time seeing any downside here."

"We're having a baby, Jillian, and talking about traveling – not just on some European holiday but to another _galaxy._ A few weeks ago I was reluctant to put you on a plane to Minnesota!"

"You just pointed out that I'd be as safe doing this as I am doing anything on Earth; and airplanes don't have a bay of 302 fighters at their disposal."

"True," he admitted.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why are you asking me this now, after what happened two days ago? I know you were just as scared as I was."

"If we don't know what we're risking now, Jill, we never will. We need to make this decision in the face of what we know and how we feel. I think the risk is minimal, no more than we'd face staying on Earth. I kind of like the idea of you being isolated in a city surrounded by an ocean, within walking distance of a state-of-the-art medical facility."

"I kind of like the idea of watching you immersed in the Library of the Ancients."

"It wouldn't be worth it at all if you aren't there with me. Ernest taught me that. So if you aren't going, I'm not going."

"How are you going to get around Jack?"

"Jack's out of the loop, which doesn't make him happy at all. But this is a request directly from the Foundation that is partially funding Atlantis and it had General Hammond's backing and Hammond hasn't given Jack his job yet. This will all be official before Jack takes over, as long as you say yes."

Jillian smiled at him like an angel about to bestow a blessing. "Did you ever really doubt that I would say yes."

"After the earthquake, I had serious doubts. You need to be sure, Jill. Completely sure."

"I am. There isn't anything you could ever ask me that I wouldn't be sure of. You must believe that the baby and I will be safe or you would have said no to the Foundation by now."

Daniel's heart started pounding against his ribs like a trip hammer.

"Really? You want to do this?"

"Of course," she laid her head on his shoulder and leaned into his arms. Her fingers stroked his chest through his tank shirt, moving the fabric gently against his skin.

His lips pressed against her forehead and held there in mute astonishment.

"I should have talked to you about all this sooner, Jill," he said at last.

She smiled, kissed his jaw and the vulnerable place beneath it where his pulse beat heavily with love.

Then she stood up and hovered beside him for a moment – a vision in careless feminine beauty framed in a rose-gold sunset. She held out her hand.

"Come to bed," she said in a voice that was silk and seduction. Daniel stood up, drawn as a lightning strike to the ground, helpless. A deep tremor shook his body.

They made love – achingly, beautifully, passionately. Jillian unraveled the last knot of pain in his soul, one he had lived with for so long he had never been quite sure it was possible to live without it. It emptied his thoughts of any doubts he may have had. At some point over the last year he and Jillian had melded truly into one heart, one purpose.

In their splendid room, lit by the moon and candlelight Daniel had asked her, "Can you ever understand how much I love you?"

Gazing into his eyes she answered, "I think so. It's almost as much as I love you."

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	175. Chapter 175

Something about 672 had made Jack's skin itch ever since he had come through the Star Gate. He had hoped at first that the earthquake had been the source of his discomfort, of the soft insistent chime of his warning bells. But when it hadn't lessened even after he'd determined that everyone was all right, he had ordered Prometheus back into space in a planetary orbit that was geosynchronous with the capital city. He had considered ordering all the military personnel back aboard ship and shelved it for the time being. It couldn't hurt to have boots on the ground, especially not with Carter in charge. As a further precaution he ordered everyone to have a locator beacon on them at all times. There had been some grumbles from the scientists but he had held firm.

There had been nothing at the state dinner to trigger any alarms. It had been a reasonably boring evening that had required his dress blues and caused an unmistakable ember of desire to smolder in Sam's eyes all evening. But nothing had shown up that was large, menacing, or formidable with weapons and armor and teeth.

Much later in the evening when Jack had been certain that everyone else in their palatial accommodations was asleep he had gone out onto his balcony, protected by the clouded night and the fact that they were on the 28th floor. There was nothing but a stone wall about eight inches thick between his balcony and Sam's. He had climbed around it easily, simple matter of moving from railing to railing and hugging the wall, still wearing his dress blues to take advantage of the dark color. He needed to see her privately, to tell her about his nagging feelings of impending doom – confident that she wouldn't question him.

He knocked softly on the glass door and she greeted him wearing a light blue camisole and panties and her Beretta. It was probably one of the most erotic things he had ever seen her in, sidearm included in the image. She had been equally exasperated, infuriated and delighted to see him.

"Are you out of your mind?" She had demanded, setting the gun on a side table and seizing the front of his jacket. There had been something shockingly arousing about the contact of his wool uniform and all its stiff stars and bars coming into contact with her mostly bare skin and silky lingerie. For a moment he had done nothing but let her feel the powerful effect of Brigadier General Jack O'Neill in full uniform backing her into a wall and holding her there. She responded by slipping her arms around his neck and demanding a passionate kiss.

When they had come up for air she had gasped, "What if you had fallen?"

"That would have been bad," he admitted, kissing her again.

"What the hell are you thinking?"

"I need to talk to you."

"Did you consider just knocking on the front door, you know the one out in the common room?"

"I didn't want anyone to know how long I'm going to be in here."

The truth was that he had done much more dangerous things and for reasons that had been much less important to him than the chance to spend a few uninterrupted hours with her.

They had not spoken again for a long time after that, being too occupied with other more physical things.

Jack dozed a little bit afterwards, feeling relaxed for the first time since walking through the Star Gate two days earlier. Perhaps not relaxed but exhausted enough to rest soundly if even for a short while. He woke up later with Sam still in his arms and his face buried in her tousled hair. Being with her, belonging with her, was like a dream come true and he was afraid to get used to it.

But he wanted to wake up with Sam every morning for the rest of his life, if only that could be possible.

She stirred when he did, rolled over in his arms and blinked up at him a few times as her eyes focused in the dark.

"Can I ask you something?" she murmured, snuggling closer until her cheek rested on his chest.

"What?"

"You knew, didn't you? About the earthquake. You knew something was going to happen. I could tell by the way you were pacing around and looking for exits."

"I was not pacing."

"Yes, you were."

He hesitated and then spoke into the dark. "I've felt like something was going to happen since I got here. I still do."

"Is that what you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes. I'm not kidding when I say I want everyone on alert."

"So it wasn't the earthquake?"

"Not just the earthquake, no."

He started kissing the outline of her face and then along her cheekbones and forehead, all the exquisite bone structure that supported her beauty. Sam stayed still while he did it. She loved Jack and she had come to appreciate the instinct and battle-honed reflexes that functioned below his conscious level.

As a scientist Sam wasn't actually good at trusting her instincts. Over the years working side by side she had learned to trust Jack's, as he had learned to trust her skill and knowledge.

"So, what is it then?"

"I don't know," he had admitted. "But I'm going to find out."

He had waited until she had fallen back to sleep and then slipped with silent stealth out of the bed. She had stirred but settled down quickly when he kissed her forehead and told her to go back to sleep.

The whir and light of the Asgard beam taking him to the Prometheus woke her again, but he never knew.

He had taken a shower and gotten another hour's sleep before closeting himself in Pendergast's office the next morning. This time he didn't just read the cliff notes version of Alexander North's report on 672. He read every word looking for clues.

He thought he'd found it on page 43 and had Alexander beamed to the Prometheus and brought to the office.

Without preliminary and almost before Alexander had finished sitting down Jack said, "Tell me about this group, these aww-maw-koo…."

"Aumakua aina. The Guardians of the Land," Alexander interrupted. "It's a small but very vocal group dedicated to the idea that Mau Loa should stay isolated. They think the Star Gate is now a very bad and very dangerous thing and don't want the treaty with Earth. They call us haoli and it isn't a compliment."

"How organized are they?"

"I couldn't tell you," Alexander sighed, "The government here isn't very forth coming about their activities."

"Why not?" Jack demanded.

"Why would they?" Alexander countered, "Are we going to suddenly tell all our allies about terrorist activities on Earth and how we know what they're doing?"

Jack only heard one word in the sentence. "Terrorists?"

"That's probably over stating. But they have filed formal protests about the treaty. Security is heightened. I don't expect them to a factor."

Jack had thanked Alexander for his time and then had Sam summoned from the surface. He told her about the group and then they went on a readiness tour of the ship.

It was somehow fitting that they were together when the attack began. Jack and Sam were deep in the labyrinth that was Prometheus so they didn't see the orange-gold blasts of weaponry ripping the blackness of space. But they felt the impact against the ship's shields. The attack alert warning sounded urgently. A small group of fighters had broken off from one of the Mau Lo'an ships and swarmed the Prometheus with weapons blazing. There was a report of another group of fighters heading for the capital city. It was also somehow fitting that they were closest to the 302 bay. Jack stopped long enough to shout orders to Pendergast over the comm system to get the Prometheus on top of the capital city now.

"I want everyone with a locator beacon on this ship in the next sixty seconds, Colonel. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

Jack and Sam burst into the command station of the fighter bay and found Major Rogers deploying the 302s.

Jack nodded towards the 302s on the other side of the reinforced safety glass.

"You got another couple of those?" he asked.

"I have one ready to go, sir. The pilot is out with a broken arm."

"We'll take it."

"Sir?" Sam asked. Things were moving a little too fast.

"You got a better idea of how we can be the most useful? Pendergast can command the ship. You got a better plan say it now."

"Fresh out of ideas sir," she answered. Truthfully staying on board Prometheus was not something she wanted to do; not if there was action she could take.

He turned back to Rogers."Who's out there already?"

"Alpha and Gamma Flights, sir. Colonel Pickering and Colonel Ross respectively."

"Got it."

Sam's eyes flared open in anticipation as they raced towards the hangar deck.

"Flight suits?" she asked.

"No time. Grab a helmet. You want shotgun or the stick?"

"Shotgun."

Jack snorted. "Figures."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked as she scrambled up the ladder into the 302.

"I'm the better pilot. You're the better shot."

"Actually I thought I was better at both," Sam slid into the rear seat and strapped in. "You know we've never done this before," she added.

"Flown together? Yes we have."

"In a 302? Into combat?"

"First time for everything. You ready?"

"Preflight?"

"No time."

Jack decided later that he would have liked to have seen Sam's face when he blasted into open space when the bay doors were barely wide enough to get through. Her soft gasp and muffled curse were carried into his helmet by the comms.

"Hang on, R2," Jack said.

Sam muttered again and then said, clearly, "Sir! If that becomes my new call sign so help me…."

She cut off as another voice joined their conversation, "Welcome to the party, General. Relinquishing command."

"Negative!" Jack said, "Negative Colonel. We'll fly solo. You two keep your squads and do it like you practiced it."

"Yes, sir."

"Understood, sir."

All around them the 302s were running down incoming fighters and the black of space was lit up with weapons fire. The Prometheus was executing a graceful and purposeful turn to obey Jack's order to defend the city and recall their people.

Trusting his flight instincts above his tactical computer, Jack turned it off.

"You ready?" He asked Sam.

"Let's do this," she answered, grimly.

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	176. Chapter 176

The beach wasn't exactly the same as Jillian's beloved beach house in St. John. The sand was not quite sugar-white. But the ocean was warm and inviting, sparkling pale blue. All of those things were no doubt important to Jillian and she had seemed relaxed and happy during their swim. He was watching her standing in the bright afternoon sun, drying her hair with a towel. He got lost again for a moment, enchanted by the idea that this singularly amazing woman had agreed to be his.

Then he noticed she was staring at the sky and had stopped moving.

"Daniel?"

"Yes?"

"What's that?" She pointed up.

Daniel had to reach for his glasses first. When he followed the direction of her hand he stopped for a breath. Then another. All around them the other beach goers were standing up and pointing. A hushed murmur rippled through the crowd.

"It's the Prometheus," he said, coming to his feet.

"Making atmosphere?" Jillian questioned, "What would make Jack send her back?"

"Nothing good I can think of," he answered.

Daniel reached for his wife's hand standing on a Mau Lo'an beach…..

….And finished taking it standing on the bridge of the Prometheus. Noise and activity swarmed over them. He and Jillian were flanked by the geologists to their right and by Scotty Annie and Alexander North to their left.

The Whytes immediately erupted in emphatic protests.

"Colonel! What is going on? The Mau Lo'ans have just granted us access to their observatory platform. We were right in the middle of gathering crucial data on the volcano! That was a magnitude 6 earthquake and it caused several landslides near the summit. There are incidents of venting from new chambers as well as lava flow on the north slope. We had just detected a cyclicity in the harmonic tremors…"

Colonel Pendergast ignored Lamarr Whyte for most of his rant as he alternately took a report from one Airman about incoming Mau Lo'an Kekoa-class ships and from the Helm about setting a course over the city. It was Daniel who cut off the frustrated scientist.

"Dr. Whyte! Lamarr, listen. They've clearly got a situation here. I've been pulled off archaeological ruins in ways I thought would make my head explode but maybe we ought to find out what's going on," he said. If he felt odd about standing on the Bridge of a 304 wearing nothing but a wet swim suit and his glasses it didn't show.

"Dr. Jackson, I wish I had time to explain it to you," Colonel Pendergast said, "Suffice to say we are under attack by an unknown force of unknown strength and for unknown reasons. At the moment I need you all to clear the Bridge. Lawrence!"

"Yes, sir!"

"I need you in weapons."

"Yes, sir," Scotty was in motion without another word to anyone, vanishing through a doorway.

"Wait! Colonel, where's Jack? General O'Neill?"

"The General and Colonel Carter commandeered a 302 and joined the dogfight."

"Dogfight!" A chorus of voices repeated the word while Daniel said, "They did what?"

As if on cue a flight of Mau Lo'an fighters swept across the forward viewer. Orange-red weapons fire spat at the Prometheus, causing the 304's shields to visibly ripple with the force of the blasts. Plasma energy ebbed and flowed across the ship's hull and windows like a flooding river and then shimmered out of existence. The Bridge occupants were forced to close their eyes and look away for a moment. When they looked back they saw an angry swarm of 302s bearing down on the attacking Mau Lo'an ships. One of the 302s came racing in straight at the Prometheus, ducked under an enemy fighter by spinning 'upside down' beneath it. The 302s weapons systems lanced red bolts at the enemy ship until it started to come about in sheets, slowly disintegrating before erupting in a flash-fire. Then the 302 veered off at the last possible second, pulling up just before it would have hit the Prometheus. It seemed to stand on its tail, hovering like an ornament on a string. The maneuver had killed the 302's velocity and no doubt tested the g-loads of its occupants beyond normal parameters. It hung over the Prometheus for a breathtaking moment before rocketing straight 'up' and disappearing.

"Guess who _that_ was," Daniel said.

Static came over the comm system and Jack's voice suddenly filled the Bridge.

"_Pendergast! You have everyone from the surface?"_

"Negative, General. We retrieved everyone except Dr. Rand."

An Airman came to them on some invisible order. He picked up the abandoned locator from the floor beside Alexander.

"Jack!" Daniel shouted, "What the hell is going on?"

"_Go to your quarters and __**stay**__ there, Daniel."_

Daniel's face set in the grim line that indicated how much he enjoyed being ordered around. By anyone. Ever. Jillian squeezed his hand and stepped closer.

"Daniel, please," she whispered urgently.

The Airman at the comm system spoke up. "Colonel, we have an incoming message from the _Uhane._"

"On visual, Airman," Pendergast said.

"_Prometheus, this is Commader Kaimano of the Uhane. Coming to your assistance. Do not fire! Repeat, do not fire."_

Pendergast looked at Daniel. Without the benefit of the translators, he had only understood every other word.

"Dr. Jackson?"

"He said his name is Commander Kaimano and he's here to help."

"Is there any indication that he's lying?" Pendergast asked.

"None that I can see," Daniel answered.

"With all respect, Commander," Pendergast said, "I have nothing but your word that you're here to help."

Daniel turned to the view screen and repeated what Pendergast had said, hands and fingers moving eloquently. Kaimano turned and gave an order that Daniel didn't translate.

"Colonel!" The Helmsman said, sharply, "_Uhane_ is opening fire on the hostiles, sir."

There was a flash of light on the forward viewer – a brief and blazing shower of white and red and orange. It was followed almost immediately by another.

"Two hostiles eliminated, Colonel."

"_Will that suffice, Colonel_?" Came the voice on the comm from the Kekao-class heavy cruiser. Daniel translated.

"That will do, Commander," Pendergast answered.

Commander Kaimano continued to speak, hands gesticulating for meaning and emphasis. Daniel watched intently. When Kaimano finished, Daniel turned to Pendergast again.

"He says that there's been a mutiny on board one of their ships, the _Makani_. The Bridge is being held by mutineers and they are intent on destroying the Earth people, or at very least driving us away."

Pendergast threw an order over his shoulder. "Helm, evasive maneuvers. Airman Michaels! Get those people off the Bridge!"

"Yes, sir.

"Dr. Jackson, I'd appreciate it if you could return to the Bridge in case I need you for communication. As soon as you're dressed, of course," Pendergast said, "I understand that General O'Neill ordered you to your quarters…."

"It's fine," Daniel said, "I wasn't going to follow the order anyway."

Airman Michaels started herding them towards the exit. Lamarr Whyte was still upset however.

"Colonel Pendergast I demand you send my wife and I back _immediately…"_

Alexander stepped between Whyte and the Colonel. "Lamarr, let them deal with this. The volcano has been there for thousands of years. It will still be there in a few hours," he said.

"Dad," Jillian spoke up. Her voice was almost as tight as her grip on Daniel's hand. "You really don't know what's going on either?"

Daniel glanced at his wife and could tell from the startled look in her eyes that she had been assuming her dad knew. Why she had thought that, Daniel didn't know.

"No, Baby Girl I'm sorry. I think it may have something to do with a small group of dissidents that don't want the treaty to be signed. It's probably they are the ones who commandeered the ship and attacked us."

They were out in the hall by this time, though it was no less chaotic there. The ship suddenly gave a hard shudder. The occupants of the corridor were tossed casually against the bulkheads. Daniel caught Jillian and pivoted so that he hit the steel wall and let her fall against him. Alexander caught Annie. The Whytes stumbled and caught each other.

"Dissidents?" Daniel repeated, incredulous, "No one said anything to us about dissidents."

"It's in my report," Alexander answered, "Doesn't anyone read those things?"

"Not the whole thing," Daniel admitted softly. There was an edge in his voice that made Jillian look at him sharply. His eyes had a glazed, cool look in them. She knew the look, the sound. She'd been using it to gauge Daniel Jackson for many years. His temper was on the rise.

The ship rocked again.

"Daniel, I'd really like to get somewhere safe," Jillian said, gripping him tightly with both hands.

"We _were_ somewhere safe," Daniel said. The tone of his voice was both seduction and threat and she was never quite sure how he managed it. "That beach had to be much safer than a ship that is under fire. I'm going to murder Jack if he doesn't get himself killed out there."

"Well we aren't going back to the beach," Jillian said. She trembled suddenly.

"You're cold," Daniel said, anxiously.

"I'm not wearing anything but a wet bathing suit."

Alexander turned to Airman Michaels. "We can find out way to our own quarters, Airman. Thank you." He pivoted back to the group, "Ladies and gentleman, I suggest we all take ourselves to a safe location."

Looking slightly less unhappy but still grim, the Whytes linked arms and set off down the shivering corridor. Alexander put his hand in the center of Annie's back and smiled at her, clearly intending to escort her to safety.

Daniel slipped his arm around Jillian's waist as they headed for the ladders that would take them to the deck where their quarters were located. As he pulled her in tight to his side she whispered.

"This is the part where you tell me everything is going to be all right."

"We'll be all right," he said, pressing conviction into his voice and into the way he held her shivering body until he felt the shivering stop.

"Okay," she said, with a tone of '_that's settled then'_ and she put her arm around him too.

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	177. Chapter 177

Sam leaned her head back in the seat, took a breath to clear her head and switched off the ship-to-ship comm.

"You do that again and you'll fry the inertial dampers and we'll both black out," she said.

His reply was short. "Everything still online?"

Sam checked the array of lights and switches in front of her. All green and go.

"Yes," she answered.

There was a pause, a heartbeat of silence broken only by the sound of their breathing. Jack set the 302 up for another strafing run at an enemy ship. Sam took the shot and Jack deftly ducked the debris, wrenching the stabilizers in opposite directions to spin them out of the way.

When he spoke his voice was gruff and tinted with concern. "You okay?"

"Yes," she answered again.

There was another pause, then he said, "You are a rock. You know that. Right?"

He had turned his head slightly when he spoke and she could see the shadowed planes of his ruggedly beautiful face. Sam swallowed the sudden tightness in her throat. Jack rarely let his guard down and when he did it was in the abrupt, offhand way he had just used.

He was such a guy sometimes – all right, _all_ the time. She had always somehow thought that would make him arrogant and thoughtless in bed, lost in his own virility and driven by it. But he wasn't. He was attentive, utterly focused on her, his own pleasure sometimes an afterthought - and she loved that about him.

And _damn_ the man could fly. He flew as if he was a part of the ship, locked in like one its integral systems. He flew like he did this every day; not like he had been walking his missions for the last eight years and now flew a desk.

"Jack, there's two on our six!"

"I see them."

An enemy fighter was right behind them and gaining. Jack banked hard to starboard and flipped them upside down and back towards Prometheus. He streaked towards the 304 with weapons fire ripping past them, barely missing.

"Sir!"

"Hold fire!" Jack ordered.

Sam understood. What he was doing required a precision that couldn't be tampered with. Firing from the 302 right now was a very bad idea.

He waited until they were nearly on top of the Prometheus and then waited a second longer. They were so close now that Sam swore she would see personnel inside the Prometheus through the windows. The ship's designation – painted high on its side – loomed before them like a wall. Jack hit the reverse thrusters, dove and banked starboard again.

The 302 nearly stalled, dropping like a stone for a gut-wrenching moment before Jack got it leveled out. The closest enemy fighter had no time to respond to the maneuver and it rocketed over them into the side of the Prometheus, exploding against the shields in a brief flare of fire and sparkling metal parts.

"Take the other one!" Jack shouted.

Engaging the forward thrusters, Jack wheeled the ship around and raced along the top of the Prometheus, darting from side to side and letting the bigger ships shields absorb the weapons fire. When he reached the tail of the ship he pulled up into a steep skyward climb. As they broke away Sam blasted the other fighter into very small hot pieces.

He set her up for another strafing run and shot between two enemy fighters with only a handful of air molecules between them. They were so taken by surprise that the few shots they got off were ineffective. A moment later there was a brilliant double flash and they were out of the out of the fight for good, thanks to Sam's hand on weapons control.

Jack abruptly tipped the fighter on its starboard side. Three sizzling blades of energy shot by the 302 a hairs breadth away, one nearly taking their portside engine. He dropped the 302 into a series of stomach-twisting spirals as withering patterns of overlapping weapons fire lit up the air they had just vacated. The fighters following them vanished in a blast of fire from the_ Uhane_.

_Damn,_ the man could fly.

"Sam?"

"Yes," she answered as she gave her inner ear a stern mental dressing down. This was really not a good time to get dizzy. "I'm okay. Ummm, where are we going?"

For the first time she noticed that Jack now had them on a trajectory that would take them back out into space. They were screaming towards the void.

"We get out there will you recognize the ship that attacked us – this _Makani_?"

She _hated_ it when he started answering her questions with his own questions. It meant she wasn't going to even get a clue what he was thinking.

"Yes."

"Is it the same class as the ship you toured the other day?"

"Kekao-class heavy cruiser. Yes."

"Do you remember how to get to the Bridge?"

"They didn't show us the Bridge."

"That's not what I asked, Colonel."

"Yes I can get to the Bridge."

"Good."

"So where are we going?"

"Hang on."

"Jack!" She protested.

"Welcome to Special Forces, Colonel," said Brigadier General Jack O'Neill.

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	178. Chapter 178

"Any idea how we're going to get on board?" Sam asked.

"Yes, but not a good one," Jack answered. There was a pause. "You won't like it."

"Does it involve crashing?"

"Probably," Jack answered.

Sam muttered another muffled curse.

"Sir. May I point out that we have no idea how to identify an enemy combatant once we're aboard and no weapons, no C4, no tactical gear at all, not even a pocket knife?"

"Duly noted, Colonel." He paused, "You want to abort?"

"No, sir."

"Good. Then we're go."

"Yes, sir."

"And by the way, Colonel?"

"Yes?"

"I actually do have a pocket knife."

Sam smiled. "Duly noted. Anything else?"

"Shoelaces, half a pack of gum."

"Could come in handy."

From behind him, Sam could see the muscle shift in Jack's jaw that meant he had smiled. They left atmosphere behind them and were suddenly surrounded by stars. There was a cluster of brighter stars at their eleven o'clock and Jack set an erring course for it, hitting the thrusters and heading out at maximum speed. Sam felt a slight pressure on her body and then nothing as the inertial dampeners compensated.

"What's the crew complement?" Jack asked as the lights began to resolve into the shapes of the Mau Lo'an battle fleet.

"A Kekao-class cruiser in orbit has a skeleton crew of fifty. So a worst case scenario is that we face an enemy force that outmans us 25 to 1; after we crash our only means of escape."

"I like how you're looking on the bright side," Jack said. "Can you get Prometheus back on the comm?"

"Yes," Sam answered, flipping switches.

The ships were tubular in shape, slightly smaller than Prometheus. They had a sleek design with weaponry hidden behind panels that opened to bring them to bear only when they were needed. The fleet was currently bristling with open weapons' bays and it formed a ball around a single vessel hovering in the center.

"Go ahead, sir," Sam said.

"Prometheus," Jack said.

"_We're here, General," _It was Prendergast who answered.

"Get me Dr. Jackson," Jack said.

"_I'm right here," _Daniel's voice crackled over the comm.

Jack gave a short, derisive snort. "I thought I told you to go to your quarters and stay there," he said.

"_And I thought we worked that out a long time ago,"_ Daniel answered. "_What do you want, Jack_?"

"I need an update from the Mau Lo'an commander about this mutiny. Have they that got it contained?"

"_You think they're going to give sensitive military information to me_?"

"I think they failed to keep visiting dignitaries safe from a rebel uprising and they better tell me what I want to know," Jack answered.

Sam recognized the tone in Jack's voice. He was angry – angry at the Mau Lo'ans and angry that he had to rely on Daniel to translate the information he needed.

But Jack had always trusted Daniel and he knew that Daniel knew what Jack needed – and that Daniel would get it for him. There was silence on the comm for a short time and Jack used the time to get them closer to the blockade.

"No weapons fire," Jack commented. His voice was now almost sleepy and that was Jack at his most dangerous.

"They either don't know what's happening on the _Makani_ or they do and are holding fire. Either way it's probable they're hoping there are still personnel on board that haven't mutinied. There's no attempt to fire from the _Makani_ and they haven't launched more fighters. But the Mau Lo'ans are still not in charge of whatever is happening on the _Makani._

Jack grunted, which was his version of high praise. Sam was torn between pleasure and exasperation. At some point Jack was going to stop 'training' her and realize that she wasn't new at this. She was in fact the leader of the SGC's most elite and decorated team; and she hadn't told him anything just now that he didn't already know.

"_Jack?"_ Daniel's voice asked.

"Right here," Jack answered, "What did you find out?"

"_They've got the Makani surrounded and it appears to be a standoff at the moment._"

"That much I already know," Jack replied.

"_What? How can you know that? Where the hell are you?"_

"Getting ready to run the blockade. What else can you tell me?"

There was a hesitation and Sam could clearly tell that Daniel was reining in his temper before answering.

"_The mutineers have the Bridge and the fighter bays. They used a chemical gas to render the crew unconscious and then locked them in the Brig. Kaimano has no information on the number of people in the Brig as opposed to the number of mutineers. There was fifty eight on board at the time of the attack on the Prometheus_._ Jack, what are you _going_ to do?"_

"I'm going to end this," Jack said, then quietly to Sam, "Kill the comm."

It cut off on Daniel's loud, "_Ja-"_

"You're freaking him out," Sam commented.

She got a louder and almost derisive grunt in response. "When you see him remind him that karma is a bitch."

Sam couldn't answer because Jack chose that moment to 'dive' the 302 in a heart-stopping vertical drop through the center of the blockade. In the floating sea of battle cruisers it was unclear whether the small fighter had been spotted. Not taking any chances Jack feinted to port and then bore down on the _Makani._

"Can you warn me before you do that?" Sam asked, trying not to watch as Jack flew 'upside down' beneath the Makani.

"Next time, promise," he said. "Hangar Bay?"

"Two, one on each side. They open like the weapons bays. You'll have to check to see if one or both are open. If they are open the bay still may not be pressurized."

"Okay."

Jack flipped the 302 over in a perfectly executed barrel role and then pivoted in another sharp turn to port. It didn't take long to find the open bay door. Jack did a fly by so close Sam could see their reflection in the shining metal surface of the ship.

"It's open," he commented, unnecessarily.

"And there are people walking around, so it's pressurized."

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"I said I would warn you next time. So hang on."

As Jack put them in another sharp descent and then hauled the little fighter around and put it on a direct course with the yawning opening of the hangar bay. For Sam it looked smaller than an aircraft carrier floating in the vastness of the open ocean. Jack was coming in at speed and there wasn't going to be any hook to stop them once they made atmosphere and were heading for the back wall of the bay.

'Hang on' would be the least optimal thing she could do. A little less than a microsecond past between Jack aiming for the bay doors and the blackness of space suddenly giving away to the brightly lit and cavernous main hangar. Sam was slammed back in her seat as Jack wrestled with reverse thrusters on full power while dodging Mau Lo'an fighter planes, stacked crates and people who were frantically diving for cover.

The 302 hit the flight deck, bounced and the reverse thrusters screamed as Jack attempted to brake the craft. The rear bulkhead loomed closer and closer. Jack brought the fighter down on the deck with a jaw cracking thud and held it there with what seemed like the force of his own will. The 302 went skidding across the floor with a screech of metal on metal. They slowed with the bulkhead getting more and more imposing, did a shaky half turn and slid to an unsteady halt. Lights and warning chimes went off all over the 302.

"Jack!" Sam said, urgently, "Weapons?"

"You want to fire them in here? Take out a wall and lose the pressure?"

"No, but…."

She didn't finish the sentence. She didn't have to. Jack's heartfelt curse told her he had seen. About a half dozen people were emerging from behind cover, approaching across the hangar with weapons raised with intent and purpose. There was nothing but solid bulkhead behind the 302.

"Options?" Sam asked, tensely.

"Only one," Jack's voice was flat. "Surrender."

(0)


	179. Chapter 179

Jack and Sam exited the 302 with their hands in the air in what they hoped was the universal sign of surrender. The weapons pointed at them were wrist-mounted triangles with controls that sat snug in the palm of the hand. Jack had no doubt they were deadly. When Jack and Sam had slipped down the wing of the fighter and were standing on their feet, their captors roughly checked them for weapons and then exchanged a rapid flow of dialogue in their incomprehensible language of words and gestures. Jack caught about every third word of it but not enough to understand. He glanced sidelong at Sam without moving another muscle. She gave him the slightest lift of one shoulder in reply. She hadn't understood either.

They hadn't been shot on sight, which was good. Alive was always good. Two of the Mau Lo'ans moved in behind Jack and Sam and shoved them forward. Jack had not missed the looks the men gave Sam. Silently he cursed. Why did the galaxy seem to be populated by people with dark eyes and dark hair? Sam shown like a diamond in the sun everywhere he took her; and the baggy blue fatigues didn't seem to help at all. It had always been dangerous to go into the unknown. Going into the unknown with a beautiful woman he cared about more than he should had doubled that danger. He supposed that in reality Sam had never been at more risk than any of them. Daniel got just as many speculative looks as Sam; and there was always the captors who wanted nothing more than to humiliate. But Jack was more protective of Sam than he was of the others and if that wasn't fair, it was still a fact.

As they were marched out into the deserted hallways with weapons pointed at the backs, Jack forced his hands open and rotated his wrists to get rid of the tension. He didn't intend to break any of his own bones in the next few minutes.

Sam saw the movement in her peripheral vision and knew what it meant. It was a call to action. Jack's body was relaxed and much too still, considering that he was walking. Sam understood from her own training in hand-to-hand combat that considerable damage could be done to the body by twisting the wrong way in the wrong moment, or the incorrect planting of weight in the face of an oncoming blow. She also knew from seven years in the field with Jack that he protected himself at all times. He was almost skittish about his joints, instinctively shielding knees and wrists and elbows – especially knees.

He was always flexing and bending, never extended too far; always anticipating, as he sensed the oncoming sweep of a weapon his knees would bend ahead of the impact, attenuating the force without technically yielding. Jack never knelt of his own volition, controlling the amount of damage even as he fought.

The man walking beside her was getting ready to move with deadly force. Sam prepared to move with him. Jack could probably take out two armed men on his own but she wasn't going to let him. His shoulders were already up and back but Sam knew the strike wouldn't come until she saw him rise up on the balls of his feet. When that moment came she'd only be half a breath behind him. She almost lost that nanosecond. She was a little stunned by the speed and violence of Jack's attack.

Without a sound Jack pivoted on his left foot and drove his elbow into his captor's face with a force that shattered the bone in the man's nose. He doubled over with an angry cry of pain only to meet Jack's balled fist coming up to impact his jaw. As the man went backwards with the force of the blow Jack kicked his legs out from under him. His head hit the metal deck and he lost consciousness. Jack leaned over and started stripping off the wrist weapon.

In the meantime, Sam had also spun around. She didn't have the height or upper body strength to pull off an elbow to the face with the same effectiveness as Jack. So when she pivoted she also bent over, stepped forward and abruptly stood up, driving her head full force into her captor's jaw, snapping his head back. Stunned he staggered back and Sam used the lesson she had learned watching Jack protect his knees. She leapt off the ground and drove her feet into the man's kneecap and was pretty sure she managed to break it. His brutal holler of pain filled the corridor. Sam didn't pause. She kicked him - hard – in the chin, heard his teeth click together and then watched his body sag as he blacked out. She got his weapon off his wrist and stood up to find Jack sweeping her with an appreciative look.

"Nice," he drawled.

"What now?"

"Bridge," he answered.

"Wouldn't it make sense to get the crew out of the Brig and let them take back the ship?"

"Do you know where the Brig is?"

"No."

"Then we take back the Bridge."

"Just you and I?" Sam said.

"Yep," Jack looked back at their two would-be captors lying bloodied and unconscious on the floor. "I almost feel sorry for whoever is on the Bridge."

They strapped the weapons to their wrists and took a few practice shots at the far wall. Red bolts of energy raced down the hall and sizzled into the bulkhead, leaving charred and smoking streaks where smooth metal had once been. It was louder than Jack had intended though he look suitably impressed as he hustled Sam in the direction of a ladder leading to the next deck up.

They climbed to the next deck and crept into the corridor but it was also deserted. He gave Sam a moment to get her bearings and then surrendered the lead.

Studying the weapons on his wrist, Jack said, "I hope these were in the negotiations."

"After this, maybe it's not too late to work them in," Sam said.

(0)

They climbed their way steadily towards the Bridge and still didn't encounter another breathing soul. It seemed that luck was on their side. There had not been many mutineers, unless they were all on the Bridge and Jack doubted it. It would explain why they had attacked the Prometheus with small fighters and not with the _Makani_ itself.

At last they came out onto the deck Sam said should contain the Bridge. It wasn't hard to find at that point. They could hear loud, excited and angry voices all talking at once coming from just beyond an open door. They crept to the door, took up positions on either side and cautiously peered inside.

There were about seven men in the room, all talking at once and as nearly as Jack could tell it didn't look like it had been a very well planned mutiny after the initial takeover of the ship. He had told Sam to use her weapon only to wound if possible. Now he held her eyes with his own and gave her instructions through a series of silent hand signals.

He wanted her to go in low, to the left and take out as many as possible. He'd take the right.

They moved and chaos erupted in the room. Sam took out two of them with blasts to the leg from her wrist weapon, hoping it would only wound. She felt more than saw the return fire and ducked, diving across the room in a barrel roll that ended with her on one knee firing point blank at the man swinging around to aim at her. He fell back with a shocked cry, went down and stayed there.

Jack in the meantime had come into the room not just firing with startling accuracy but using all the advantage of his height and training. He took down two with the weapon, another by getting in close enough to smash the weapon against the back of the mutineer's skull and the last with a roundhouse left that hit the man's face with the force of a hammer striking an anvil.

The whole thing was over in less than two minutes. The silence that followed was deafening. Jack shut the door and, after a moment of looking, secured the lock.

"You have any idea where the comm is?" he asked.

"Give me a minute," she answered. She had already sat down in a chair that had the biggest console in front of it, assuming it must be some kind of central control.

"Get me Daniel if you can."

"Okay."

A moment later Sam had the Prometheusonline and was asking for Daniel.

"_Jack!" _There was a panicked frantic sense of relief in Daniel's voice.

"Tell Commander Kaimano to have the fleet stand down. Sam and I have the Bridge of the _Makani_."

"_You what_?"

"You heard me. Now tell him. Ask him how he wants to get on board to take over and offer him the Asgard beam if he wants."

"_Okay, hang on_."

While they were waiting waiting, Jack strolled almost casually over to stand in front of Sam and leaned over the console, resting on his elbows.

Sam looked up at him. "What?"

Jack grinned and let all the love and hot desire he felt show in his eyes.

"Do you have any idea how sexy you are right now?" He asked in a voice thick with lust and bordering on laughter.

She leaned up a little so that they were almost kissing.

"Sir, she said, softly, "Not in front of the prisoners."

"Oh," Jack said, going along with it, "How about later?"

"You gotta deal," she said and this time their lips did brush, tenderly and full of promise.

Daniel's voice interrupted, "_Jack?"_

"Go ahead, Daniel," Jack said.

"_All right, this is what Kaimano wants to do….."_

(0)


	180. Chapter 180

Daniel picked up the length of tanned animal hide and ran it through his hands. It was soft, supple, exquisitely made and as far as he was concerned there just wasn't enough of it. He looked at Ka'eo over the rim of his glasses. His eyes were all wide and innocent, eyebrows raised in a way that was almost childlike, a way that most people wouldn't – or possibly couldn't – argue with. He exuded an innate quality of good that drew people to him, Jack had watched Daniel off world for seven years. Dragged him around with that innocent face and a mouth that could use words like a stiletto; watched him piss off half the people they met and make the other half want to take him home and sometimes there was an overlap in that Venn diagram.

"No," Daniel said, as calmly and politely as he could manage. There was an edge of iron-willed stubbornness in the voice that Jack recognized.

"No?" Jack repeated, looking stunned, "You're our word guy and the best you can come up with is 'no'?"

Daniel turned that innocent look on Jack. "What were you going to say?" he asked.

"I was going to say 'Oh _hell_ no'." Jack answered emphatically. He hadn't gotten within spitting distance of the folded pieces of suede. He was in fact eyeing them as if it was possible the animal they had come from would suddenly rise up and attack. Not much chance of that, Daniel knew. These had come from the local equivalent of domesticated cattle.

"I do not understand your objections, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

Jack turned to him with the stunned expression permanently fixed on his face. "You wouldn't," he admitted, "Since a _loincloth_ was basically part of your armor for a hundred years."

Jack swore he saw a wicked twinkle in the Jaffa's dark eyes before Teal'c looked away, choosing a length of suede and wrapping it around his waist to check for length. It ended just above his knee.

Teal'c had arrived two days earlier, summoned by Jack to help root out the dissenting group and bring them to justice. He had come with Ishta, in sufficient warrior dress and attitude to impress the Mau Lo'ans about Earth's other allies. Conversely Jack had been impressed by the Mau Lo'ans information gathering agencies and how much they learned about the dissident group and how quickly they learned it. They had either been willing to share this information with the Tau'ri because of the recent attacks – or been very much convinced of the wisdom of doing so by the presence of the very large and very imposing Jaffa scowling at them over Jack's shoulder.

The raids on the various 'safe' houses and hiding places had gone off simultaneously and without a hitch, with SG1 – _all _of SG1 as it had been at the start – right in the middle of taking down the leadership. It felt good to Jack. It felt _right._

With the dissidents in custody the Treaty had gone forward. The signing was set for the following morning to be followed by a three day celebration feast –

Which brought them to this moment. Their guide had rather delightedly come to their palatial quarters with the garb that was traditional feast wear. The men were aghast. The women were picking through the outfits trying to decide what color they liked.

At Daniel's firm and polite no and Jack's even more firm pronouncement, Ka'eo had looked at first confused and then concerned.

"It is our tradition. To return to the early days….."

"Ka'eo," Jillian interrupted, "Could you leave us alone with the men for a moment?"

Ka'eo hesitated, then nodded and left the common room, quietly shutting the door.

Jillian looked at Daniel. "Do you have any idea how hot you'd look in that?"

"Do you have any idea how cold I'd be in that?" he countered.

"Daniel, it's eighty-two degrees at midnight here," she answered.

"Jill," he sounded a little desperate, like a man who knew he was about to lose an argument with his wife. "It's a _loincloth._"

"I think you're supposed to wear the shell necklaces too," Sam pointed out, helpfully, "Oh and the belt with the shells and feathers."

"Right," Daniel said, "because that will make it so much warmer."

"I don't know, I think this could be fun," Sam commented. She was holding a strip of fuchsia cloth that was the sole upper body covering. Jillian had one in a lovely shade of coral.

Daniel and Jack both eyed the slender pieces of material.

"Yeah," Jack said, "It could come in handy if we need to _floss_."

"It's not that small," Sam said, shaking her head at him.

"It's not that big either," Daniel said. He sighed and indicated the loincloths. "And neither are these."

"Come on, Daniel, whatever happened to 'anthropologists do it all the time. They dress and live as the people they're studying'," Sam asked.

Daniel sighed heavily. "I'm never going to hear the end of that am I?"

"Nope," Sam said, congenially. She picked up a saucy skirt made of woven grass dyed red and held them up in front of her, "I like the pink one but what do you think of the red one or the black?"

"I think Annie should wear the red one," Jillian said," and Ishta would look stunning in the black."

"Indeed." Teal'c agreed.

"Really?" Ishta asked, picking up and holding the waistband of the skirt against her hips experimentally.

Exasperated to his breaking point, Jack said, "I think no one is wearing anything but their own clothes!"

"I think Sam has a point," Jillian said.

"I do?"

"Yes. From a cultural standpoint this is important to our new allies and we should show a willingness to live and dress as they 'eo made it sound as if this was important."

"Actually that was Daniel's point, not mine," Sam said.

"And I'm not an anthropologist!" Jack said.

Sam gave him a wicked look and said, "Today you are." Then she turned back to the mirror as she and Ishta held up the fuchsia and black garb for a close scrutiny.

Jack glared at Sam's turned back, caught Daniel's eye and mouthed, '_today you are' _with an aggravated smart-ass eye roll.

Daniel looked past him at Jillian. "_C'est comme si ils sont déjà maries."_

She nodded. "_Oui, j'ai remarqué que_."

"Something you two want to share with the class?" Jack demanded.

"No," Daniel answered, bluntly, "You?"

Jack managed to give him an innocent look that was not quite as convincing as Daniel's own.

"Daniel," Jillian said. There was warning in her voice.

During the recent trip SG1 had taken to Jack's Minnesota cabin, Sam had broken down and admitted to Jillian that she and Jack were finally together. Daniel had then guessed. Jillian had sworn him to secrecy but Daniel had been baiting Jack ever since they had returned; and Jillian was getting tired of it.

A muscle in Daniel's jaw twitched. He liked baiting Jack. He could do it in his sleep and he hated secrets and lies.

The girls went back to trying on bandeau tops and grass skirts over their BDUs, chattering happily and exchanging colors. The men remained silent for a few minutes until Jack said, "We're going to wind up wearing these things aren't we?"

Daniel sighed. "Oh yeah, we are."

(0)

C'est comme si ils sont déjà maries – it's as if they are already married.

Oui, j'ai remarqué que – Yes, I noticed that

Bonus points to anyone who can name the episode Sam is referencing.


	181. Chapter 181

They had once again worn their formal wear to the actual Treaty signing – Jack and Sam and the other members of the Air Force in their dress blues, Jillian in a dress conservative enough for church, he in his sharpest black suit. Teal'c and Ishta had opted for Jaffa robes. (Knowing the Jack who liked to wear t-shirts purchased sometime in the mid-80s and was more comfortable in his BDus made it all the more striking to watching him now – ramrod straight and sober as a judge, every inch the Air Force General and representative of his government.)

But all formality was dismissed as the evening approached and the expansive gardens of the government complex were opened for the feast. It was typical of a South Pacific luau, with low tables and seating on blankets and pillows. The women were resplendent on every possible color in the visible spectrum, and Daniel thought, especially the women of the SGC. The vivid colors of their native garb suited them. Their only accessories were rings of flowers around their wrists and ankles and a circlet of leaves worn like a crown. The only adjustment they had made to any of their costumes was a sash of brightly patterned material that Ishta was wearing from her right shoulder to her left hip. Teal'c had a matching sash wrapped around his waist because no one really felt like trying to explain a symbiote pouch to the Mau Lo'ans.

Daniel had learned on his honeymoon that, while his wife had been born and raised in England and lived all over the world, her soul must have been born on a tropical island. She wore the native garb as naturally as he had worn his Abydonian robes; and though she was pregnant no one could tell yet.

Except Daniel who was too familiar with her lovely, long-limbed body not to see that it was somehow fuller already, even more feminine. If it was possible he was even more in love with her now – now that this incredible aura of ethereal magic surrounded her. He'd bought her a stack of books about pregnancy and birth and the first year of childhood. She had set them aside, kissed him and said, "I'd rather just count the weeks and surrender to whatever this is going to be and make love to you." The books were still unopened on the coffee table downstairs.

Since the moment he had seen her in the coral colored grass skirt, floral bracelets and strapless top he'd been flooded with desire – and it was going to be hours before he could do anything about it. He had reached for her hand, speechless. She had rekindled his life from the cold ashes it had been and it was reinforced over and over every time he caught fire for her. The hot look she swept him with almost stopped his heart and made him wonder at the ability of this knee length loincloth to keep everyone from knowing exactly what it was he wanted.

All the men, including Alexander North but with the exception of Jack had submitted to the single wrap of cloth around their hips, rings of vines around their wrists and ankles and. Jack had either flatly refused or lost his on the way to the garden. He was also the only man at the dinner wearing a t-shirt with the loincloth. But he said if Teal'c could add the sash to his clothing then he, Jack, could add a t-shirt.

Daniel quickly discovered that he wasn't the only man from the SGC to be feeling a little possessive of his female partner, though what Alexander North thought of his daughter's current dress (or lack of it) Daniel couldn't begin to guess. Scotty was practically glued to Annie – who was dazzling in her bright red outfit. Jack had taken up a place under a tree with both hands wrapped around a carved wooden mug. He had not taken his eye off Sam, even if he was trying to look like he wasn't the least bit interested in where she was. Daniel had been on too many covert operations with Jack not to exactly where the man was looking at any given time.

Only Teal'c didn't seem overly concerned about Ishta; perhaps because there was no official declaration of any kind between them or perhaps because he knew Ishta could eviscerate any man who attempted an unwanted advance. When Daniel was briefly separated from Jillian, only to find her a bit later chatting with a small group of locals. Her lovely hands were moving to indicate she was speaking the native language. In Daniel's opinion, the men in the group were all looking a bit too fascinated by her.

He was starting to join them when Teal'c intercepted him, blocking the way like an avalanche on a highway.

"She loves you," the Jaffa said without preliminary, "You are the sun that lights her from within. Without you she is nothing but shadow."

The message had at first gone straight over Daniel's head. "I know," he said, impatiently.

"Then you should not take any actions to indicate that you do not trust that love."

This time the message penetrated. He blinked and looked at Teal'c, which required dragging his hungry gaze away from Jillian.

"I kind of feel sorry for them now," Daniel said.

"Indeed," Teal'c said, "There is only one man she will leave here with tonight, and that is you."

With a slight inclination of his head Teal'c had moved away to join O'Neill.

The feast began in the late afternoon and the food was amazing. With Alexander's help they knew which drinks were alcoholic and which ones weren't and not surprisingly Jack settled on something deep gold and frothy that was the local beer.

The night fell and the party became lit with candlelight, torches and the rising moon. From around the edges of the celebration drummers appeared and a cheer went up from the locals. Ka'eo went to Sam and whispered something to Sam, who then went to round up the rest of the SGC. Jillian was sitting beside Daniel at the time so Sam explained to both of them at the same time,

"They want to know if we want to join in the dancing. Annie, Ishta and the Whytes said yes. Teal'c said maybe. Scotty and Keeper said no. General O'Neill said hell no."

Daniel snorted. "Not surprising," he said.

But Jillian was already starting to get up. He caught her hand. Even with the flickering torchlight reflecting back in his glasses Jillian could see the concern.

"It's just dancing, Daniel. I'm not going to free climb a mountain," she said to reassure him.

He hesitated and he felt the way her hand tightened on his.

"Okay," he relented, before the fight could start. "Just, have mercy on me and don't do anything strenuous."

"You're not going to dance with me?" She seemed surprised.

"I don't think they're going to be waltzing, Jillian," Daniel pointed out, "This isn't the Broadmoor on Friday night."

Jillian smiled, leaned over and kissed him.

"Have fun," he said.

The girls vanished into the darkness at the edge of the celebration and the men of the SGC gathered at the same low table and settled down on the grass mats. Jack arrived last with a pitcher of beer and enough mugs for everyone.

"So what are we going to be seeing now?" Jack asked, taking a long swallow from his mug.

"Something on the order of a hula, I suspect," Daniel answered,

Jack paused before he took another drink. "Really?"

"The hula?" Scotty asked. "Annie's told me a little bit about the history of the hula. The dance was designed to honor the gods and to preserve their history. Originally it was performed topless, which of course the first European explorers found scandalous."

"It was performed _what?_" Jack asked.

Scotty seemed to suddenly remember who he was seated with.

"Sorry, sir," Scotty said, "I'm sure that's not the case here and anyway none of our personnel would…. I mean, I don't think…."

"Captain!" Jack snapped.

"Yes, General, sir!" Scotty snapped back, his spine straightening.

"Stop talking and drink your beer."

"Yes, sir," Scotty said and raised his mug to comply.

A moment later an older man and woman wearing traditional garb walked out into the open area between the tables. The woman raised a conch shell and blew four long mournful notes, turning as she did to face each of the four directions. The man then beat his tall staff on the ground four times and then began a slow chant accompanied by hand signs that had become familiar if still not understandable. Every eye at the table turned towards Daniel.

"Ummm," Daniel's gaze riveted on the man. "He's welcoming us as new friends and powerful allies, celebrating us coming through the Gate and opening a galaxy of possibilities for the Mau Lo'an people…. He invites us now to see the story of how they came here and defeated their warlord masters."

When the man stopped chanting a new sound could be heard from the darkness – an insistent clapping of heavy sticks. It accompanied the arrival of about twenty dancers, male and female, all wearing vivid yellow. They came in using a rhythmic two step march, hips swaying in time to the clapping of the sticks in their hands. Their voices were raised in another chant, not quite a song, but a more lyrical utterance of their language.

Daniel stopped translating. It was not the kind of performance that welcomed outside noise. Even without being able to understand all the words, the audience was drawn in, caught by the cadence and the beautiful movements of the dancers as they moved as one unit across the grass. The dance transcended language barriers.

Jack leaned over and softly asked Daniel, "Where are the girls?"

Daniel gave him a puzzled sideways look for a moment and then said, "Oh! You mean our girls. Sam? Jillian?"

"Yes," Jack hissed.

"This is a choreographed dance, probably taught to them from infancy as part of their oral tradition. They wouldn't have taught this to any of us," Daniel explained

"Then where are they?" Jack asked.

"I'm sure they're just waiting until the floor is cleared and they invite us to join in."

When the dance finally ended the group turned towards their visitors and bowed from the waist. Alexander North and said some very nice things about their hosts and how honored they were by the offering of the dance, which Daniel quietly translated for the benefit of everyone at their table. Then the dancers left the open space, marching and clapping their batons together accompanied by the applause of the audience. The woman blew on the conch shell and the man invited everyone to join them in celebratory dance. The drummers who had until now been waiting quietly began to beat an urgent frantic rhythm. From the edges of the gathering people poured into the space and began to dance, free form, something earthy and free. It took the men from the SGC less than thirty seconds to find the women they were looking for. It took several seconds longer for them to find their voices.

"Are they….?" Scotty asked.

"Well they aren't topless at least," Daniel managed.

"But they are…."

"Wearing some kind of body oil?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah," Scotty breathed.

"They weren't that shiny when they left, it must be a part of the celebration," Daniel reached for the beer mug - that he had not touched until now – and took a healthy swallow.

"Oh," Scott exhaled again, "This could be really interesting."

Eyes riveted on his wife, Daniel drank again and said, "It already is."

(0)


	182. Chapter 182

An hour later Daniel leaned over and whispered to Scotty,

"Has Jill ever danced like this off world before?"

"Jill? No. Not on any mission I did with her, anyway," Scotty answered without taking his riveted gaze off Annie.

"Thank god," Daniel murmured. His own overheated gaze had not left Jillian since she had come out of the shadows.

"Did you know she could dance like that?" Scott asked.

"Yeah," he said with a heavy sigh, "She spent a lot of time in the Middle East, especially Egypt."

"Are you saying Jill can belly dance and she managed to keep that from us for eight years?"

"Apparently," Daniel said. He was breathing slowly because every breath made his body throb. "I can't say I'm really all that upset about that. What about you? Did you know Annie could hula?"

Scott was sitting close enough for Daniel to feel the slight shrug of his shoulders. He watched Annie for a moment longer and then shifted uncomfortably. "She _is_ Hawaiian."

Daniel turned to Teal'c. "What about you? Ishta?"

"Indeed," Teal'c purred. He sounded positively delighted.

"You did?" Daniel asked, stunned.

"The Jaffa have many dances in their oral tradition," Teal'c explained as if it was obvious.

Daniel yanked his eyes away from Jillian for a moment and looked at Teal'c, wondering how in the world _that_ little fact about the Jaffa had stayed hidden for eight years.

"Is that why you said 'maybe' when you were asked to dance?" Daniel asked.

"Indeed," Teal'c replied again. His smile was wolfish and feral.

There was a part of Daniel's thought process still registering that he was an anthropologist and there were dozens of questions demanding to be asked. But the vast majority of his psyche was hypnotized by Jillian; by the way the firelight was playing off her glistening skin and the graceful movements of her body to the drum music. It was primal. It was deep in the blood. It was the surrender of the ocean to the gravitational pull of the moon. It was the sway of flowers in the wind. It was the answer of the dancer's heart to the beating of the drums.

Need and desire had been coursing through Daniel since he had first eyes on her wearing the lovely native garb along with a soft sultry smile. The bright coral-colored fabric caressed the heavy curves of her breasts. The skirt rode low on her hips and whispered in waves over her legs, opening and closing to reveal warm sun-tanned skin. Her hair was loose and free, a cascade of dark flames and copper. The floral-scented tropical night and the earthy drums and the dance had fanned that desire into flame.

And she knew what she was doing to him. She'd cast him enough saucy looks - her eyes shining like a cat's in the night - for him to be certain she knew what she was doing.

_Watch me, _her eyes said. _Watch me dance. _

He had found that he couldn't look away even if he tried. She moved in a slow, delicious dance he was helpless to resist. He watched the supple ripple of her body – up from her hips, through her waist into her breasts and back down again. He watched her smile as she rolled her hips in an erotic circle; watched the firelight and shadow on muscle and curves. From a dozen yards away it was still as if she was touching him, coaxing, teasing and tempting. He could feel her hands on him, her lips. He could feel the sway of her hips against his. He wanted to stand and claim her and add this to the deep erotic nights they had left on the shores of countless other nights. He wanted to beg her to go back to their room and make those phantom touches real.

He wasn't sure why she was so much less inhibited in public than she seemed to be in private about her dancing. Perhaps it was because she had learned the art in a public forum. But she was clearly having a grand time. Happiness was shining from her as she surrendered to the drum beat of recklessness and danced with effortless sensuality. She was as beautiful as a desert sunset and he adored her. His adoration was filling his body with a desperate male need he was going to have to do something about one way or the other, and soon. Knowing he was going to have to move slowly made it all the more maddening. He would never – _never_ – no matter how much he craved her, do anything that might hurt her; especially not now.

At last she either tired of the dance or of teasing him, but she left the group and came back to the table. He shifted over to make room for her as she settled contentedly up against his side. He put his arm around her shoulders and poured her a cold drink with his other hand. The warmth of her body soaked into his pores, a soft slide of skin. Whatever she had applied to her skin wasn't slick or oily for all that it made her shine like sun on water.

Daniel leaned close, buried his face in her fragrant hair and whispered, "_Ti amo, bella."_ He felt the thrill that shivered through her because the sound of his voice speaking Italian was irresistible to her. He heard her breath catch. A deep sense of male triumph surged through him. "You want to get out of here?" He asked.

She tormented him for a moment longer, remaining silent and finishing her fruit juice. Then she said, "Yeah. Let's do that."

Jillian let him help her to stand up, mostly so that she wouldn't break contact with him even for a second. She had told him how hot he would look in the knee-length loincloth but eve she hadn't quite been prepared for the impact he would have on her. Their eyes met and held as he stood and pulled her up a smooth, one-armed motion. Changeable blue depths, more dark than light at the moment, were almost hidden behind the reflections of firelight in his glasses and thick dark gold lashes. Flickering light gleamed over bronze skin, the deft, carved muscles of his chest and abs and the width of broad shoulders. Shadows played on the contours of his handsome face. Jillian's mouth went dry. Her pulse throbbed heavily. She had enjoyed teasing him. The air between them had practically sizzled while she danced. But now she was seized by desire for all that hard male glory. She yearned to be caught up in all the power and beauty that was Daniel's passionate lovemaking.

A slow, knowing smile parted his generous lips. Jillian couldn't help but smile back, though she fought it at first. Then she laughed and surrendered, reaching up on tiptoe to kiss his jaw. She reached up to comb her fingers through the hair over his ear, around and down and then again. They were both on fire and no denying it. As if to confirm what they both already knew, Daniel pressed his fingertips into the small of her back and pressed forward against her hip and the top of her thigh. His long, straight erection was a shock of hardness under the loose fabric of the loincloth.

They left the garden and returned to the building that housed their accommodations. Uncertain of the surveillance in the elevators they had kept several discreet inches between them, but their hands had brushed together and lingered in promising caresses. They were both on fire, but it hadn't turned into a wild conflagration beyond containing. It was still controlled, neither of them in a hurry. Daniel let go of her hand and ran light fingers up and down her arm. Desire cascaded from the touch, tingled in her veins and dissolved into a sweet low burn. He bent and pressed a kiss against her shoulder. Jillian denied herself a sharp intake a breath and stood stock still, biting her lip.

They walked as if on air to the door of their common room, keyed the lock and went inside. The moment the door sealed behind them, Daniel took her gently into his arms and bent over again only to stop with his lips a heartbeat from hers, waiting. He felt her smile just before she touched his mouth with hers, warm and moist, vivid with a hint of spicy fruit juice. Her tongue traced his, following the shape of it and fanning the flames of desire. He let her lead the kiss with his eyes closed, his shoulders rising and falling slowly. His hands began moving, gliding over the skin on her back, drifting closer to the place where the fabric wrapped around her breasts was tied in a fragile loop.

"_Jillian_," his breath caught in his dry throat but the utterance was still infused with all the longing in his soul. His fingers slipped up into the knot but Jillian broke the kiss and took a step back. He let her go instantly. Confusion painted the expression on his face but faded when she gave him a soft smile and glanced sideways at the common room. They were still alone but that didn't mean they couldn't be interrupted at any moment. Taking her hand he walked backwards towards the door of their room, drawing her along with him.

He closed and sealed the door, then dimmed the lights and tossed his glasses on a side table before turning back to her. His long fingers reached out to brush against her shoulders, lingered for a moment before sliding up into her hair. He cupped her head in his palms and kissed her again before moving around behind her. He pushed her hair aside to feather kisses and sweet, sweet tiny nips of his teeth against her neck. His hands were busy freeing the waistband of his loincloth. It fell to the floor in a rustle of heavy suede. Jillian pressed back against him with a helpless whimper.

Daniel began to untie the knot between her shoulder blades and let the fabric fall away. It whispered over her skin as it dropped away. His hands rested on her waist and hips for a moment, resting there reverently before gliding up over her ribs, over the sharp intake over her breath, to cup both breasts in his palms.

"_Ti amo. Ti amo così tanto," _he murmured as his lips and tongue teased her ear.

Jillian dropped her head back against his shoulder and swallowed another delicious whimper. His fingers spread, lifting the weight of her breasts. They were heavier now, already more full, tantalizing. His thumbs circled casually, causing a sensation so acute on the sensitive tips that her knees turned to water. Soft sounds merged with the feelings.

She turned in his arms, pressing close so that his erection brushed against her spine and hip and came to rest trapped between them the tip resting near her navel. The sudden pressure was almost too much to bear – the warm of her skin, the muscles and curves of her against his shaft. His hands smoothed down over the curves of her back to open the clasp holding her skirt. It rustled into a coral puddle at her feet. Jillian stepped free and kicked it aside, pausing to slip bracelets of leaves and flowers off her wrists. He cupped her bottom and pulled her close.

Soft and firm, resilient, female. His body throbbed with wanting her, heavy with the ache of waiting. She was touching him back, kissing him back Her hands explored his shoulders and chest, the long column of his spine down to his tightly muscled glutes. He suckled the base of her neck where her pulse beat like a hummingbird's wings.

He lifted her off the floor into both arms and laid her down carefully on the bed. Jillian closed her eyes against a wave of intense dizziness. He entwined his body with hers, lying on his side and leaning over, legs entangled, arms around each other. Their eyes met and held. Jillian lost herself in those eyes as they stared into hers with love and caring and joy. As her body melted into his body, her soul melted into his soul through the heat of his gaze.

"_Daniel,"_ she whispered.

He smiled again, a soft pull at the corners of his mouth, just before he started to worship her with kisses. Her skin was burning, flushed with desire. The tips of her breasts peaked under the tender attention of his tongue. His fingertips stroked up and down the delicate skin of her inner thigh before straying into curls and moisture. After a moment her breathing shattered into chaotic moans.

He waited still, touching and tasting, possessing.

Even when she'd had enough of giving him the lead, folded her hand around his rigid erection and began stroking him up and down in mindless perfection. She knew his body too well by now, knew exactly what he liked and how he liked it. She moved her thumb, found the edge and the slick head, rubbed, while her palm worked him slowly, pulled up and then pushed down, moving skin over tissue.

His body roared in response until he was forced to throw his head back and clench his teeth against the need to roll on top of her and take her with reckless abandon.

Yet he still managed to wait, forever conscious now that no matter how much he wanted her, he still considered her fragile. Precious beyond imagining. She rolled onto her side and through her leg over his hip, arching forward. He rubbed the exquisitely sensitive head of his penis against her moist burning silken folds until her fingernails sank into his forearm and she turned her face into his chest, panting.

"Daniel_, please. _I can't….can't….. oh, _god_….."

Passion sparked as he pushed slowly inside her – deep, deep into her velvet hot embrace. He groaned aloud. There was dampness against his chest and he knew her eyes had filled with tears. One long, slow thrust until she was filled, satiated and he leaned back to look into her face. She clung to him, vulnerable and lost, and then smiled. Through the tears her eyes were brilliant.

"Daniel," she whispered, just before her long copper-black lashes closed.

He withdrew and plunged again. She moved to match his rhythm, gasping her passionate response against his chest. Words faded into sighs and groans. Only his body touched her. He had most of his weight on his elbows, cording the muscles in his sweat-slick forearms and the hard contours of his back and shoulders. Abandoned to rapture, Jillian's hands ran freely over Daniel. He stroked her, in and out, plunging again and again.

Their release was expansion into the limitless universe, though it was difficult to say who started first. Daniel threw his head back again and froze for an instant. Then he was lost in orgasm sharp and involuntary, totally out of his control. There was only the sweetness and the savage intensity of coming into the woman he loved – _god, god, loved so much….. _Pulsations exploded inside her. Strong. Deep. Jillian hid her face once again in his chest as fire raced and spread through her in a blinding explosion. She cried his name in ecstasy and then fell silent, not even breathing as she came. It went on and on, deliciously, perfect, while Daniel kept moving to prolong the pleasure. One surge was followed by another until it began to ebb. Jillian collapsed into the protective cradle of his arms. Daniel held her as if someone had laid a priceless treasure in his embrace.

Her body felt boneless to him, though she still shuddered helplessly at random moments. Daniel pressed his lips in extended kisses against her eyebrows and temple.

She sighed, a soft exhalation of air that cooled his chest and neck.

"_Dan_," she said.

"_Shhh,"_ he murmured, touching his lips to her ear, her neck and feeling the aftershocks still running over her back and legs. "Shhhhh."

"_Luh_," she started and then paused to shiver as her body clenched again.

"Love?" he asked.

She nodded, "Yeah, love….."

"Love you too," he said, smiling a little at having suddenly become the translator in their bed.

She reached for his hand and pushed it down between her legs.

"_Tuh_.."

"Touch?"

She nodded again, shifted closer to his fingers but didn't open to him. He found her hot and soft and swollen. He moved his fingers and she groaned a little, lost the rhythm of her breathing in a sudden stutter. He stroked her slowly but insistently, it wasn't the first time he had offered her his hand or mouth to bring her to climax again. It was the first time she had asked. He understood that she was dealing with raging hormones but the clinical knowledge didn't stop this from being as erotic as hell.

"_Oh… Dan…. yeah," _she whimpered.

"Go ahead, baby," he whispered back.

She imploded again. She gasped in name in a long, stunned breath. It was intense, almost as intense as the first one. She clung to him, molded to him. Her breathing sounded like sobs against his chest.

She unclenched slowly, moaning into soft stillness again. She snuggled close with her head nestled against his calming heartbeat. A low, appreciate sigh escaped. Daniel rubbed his cheek against hers to encourage her to look up at him. He kissed her gently, pressed his lips against the curve of satisfied smile.

"I love you," he repeated and then they were kissing, hard and sweet and there were no words needed at all.

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	183. Chapter 183

Jack was good at stealth. Possibly not as good as he was at blowing things up but still considered an expert at slipping away in and out of shadows when the need arose for it. When he realized that he didn't want to be one of the men staring slack-jawed, stunned and more than slightly aroused as the woman he loved danced in the firelight he took advantage of the distraction to quietly leave the table and find a dark secluded hiding place.

Seven years of Gate travel, seven years of being in each other's lives on an almost constant basis and who knew that Sam could do _that_?

Certainly he had not.

She had told him that she'd started a new workout routine with Jillian and Annie that involved dancing. But Jack had been flashing back to the aerobics craze of the 80s – something jerky and cardio that involved a lot of jumping around.

Not something that looked like vertical sex.

Not what Sam was currently doing, shining in the firelight, laughing, sometimes with her head thrown back in delicious abandon.

Considering that Jack had been more than slightly aroused just from the native garb Sam had chosen to wear, and now he was starting to suffer in earnest. In fact, considering the length of the dinner he was fast approaching the point where the TV commercials recommended seeking medical attention.

He should have felt guilty for watching her from the shadow of the grove of palm trees and heavy ferns at the edge of the dance space. He didn't spy on his own team, for gods' sake. He didn't spy on her. He had long suspected there were too many others who did spy on SG1 but he wasn't one of them. But at the moment, and for her own good, he couldn't be caught staring at her openly so this was the best he could do under the circumstances.

There was an advantage to being part of a recognized couple. Jack understood this. None of the men danced too close to Jillian or Annie – or god forbid too close to Ishta. He wasn't sure what Scott Lawrence would do if someone bothered Annie. Daniel would be all over the man who got too close to Jillian and it would look like a snake strike, no warning. Teal'c well, honestly Teal'c would probably just stand and smile while Ishata took care of the problem on her own.

But there was an undeclared open season on Sam apparently. He couldn't eviscerate some poor local just for looking at her or dancing too close in much too suggestive ways. But Jack was quickly reaching the point where he just couldn't _stand this _anymore. His hand was shaking so hard he couldn't finish his beer, which just sucked.

He was close to being paralyzed in a state of agonizing arousal just watching her fire-drenched body moving to the drums; torn between not wanting to ever stop watching her and marching our on the dance floor, taking her hand and dragging her off into some private shadowed place with him. If he had to stand here in this state of indecision for much longer he was going to just fucking lose it.…

_Duty honor responsibility sacrifice good of the planet good of the program….._

Fuck that, he was _dying_ here and they had already crossed the line anyway and he was going to DC in a month so who knew how many times they would have to be together before that.

Jack stood up straight and drained the last of the ale of the mug in his hand. They had walked each other safely from one side of a battlefield to another. Getting from one side of dance floor to another shouldn't be a problem. Decision made he walked out of the shadows, dropped the mug on the first serving tray he came to and began weaving in and out of the dancers.

He didn't exactly grab her hand. In fact he didn't touch her at all. Sam turned before he had quite reached her, always aware of him and where he was. She didn't turn all the way, just enough to look at him over her shoulder. It was devastating. She had to know that particular view of her was his favorite. With that much skin showing and her hips moving in an ancient rhythm it was his undoing.

Jack leaned in close to her ear, though he kept his body back from hers, maintaining a civilized distance.

"Come with me," he said.

He walked towards her with his back to most of the torches so now it was cast in shadow. His eyes were always unfathomable in the dark. His tone was not. It was sultry, the intent unmistakable. In the fire lit half of her face that he could see, there was a brief narrowing of her eyes and brow, the momentary reaction of resistance to being ordered around outside of the battlefield. So he added, "Please."

She turned to look at him fully and now her eyes were unwavering, her head tilted a little, thrown back just a little as if she would still defy him just for a moment. But he could see the pulse beating rapidly in her throat. Her lips were parted. Her eyes were almost black in the flickering darkness.

Jack turned around and began to walk away, knowing she would follow him. He made for the same shadowed shelter of palms and ferns that he had just left, waited until she was safely hidden from view along with him and then caught her in his arms. He nudged her face up to meet his with his cheek and then covered her mouth, claiming it. One hand strayed down her back, caressing the length of her spine until he stopped just below the band wrapped around her hips. It fisted a tight handful of grass skirt over the smooth curves of her bottom and pushed her up against him.

Sam's mouth came alive under his, hungry, seeking. She offered her tongue on a gasp and low moan and Jack accepted it on a hot wet slide of his own. They gasped and groaned and sucked and pressed deep. He let Sam go for a moment, rested his forehead on hers and panted. Then he took a breath as if he was going underwater before he pushed her mouth open again, before she was done catching her breath, twisting his head, pressing their lips together, His tongue sliding in and out, up and back and down in a long, rolling frantic kiss. Sam's kiss, conversely, softened, until it was pliable, yielding, accepting, until she was his.

"Carter," Jack gasped, thick and wet, pulling back, trying to swallow and kiss and breathe and talk all at once. "Carter ... _fuck_ ... _jeezus, fuck_."

Sam smiled a little. He only called her 'Carter' in that voice was he was out of his mind with desire; and then it sounded just like 'baby', 'honey', 'sweetheart' - different than the way he said it in any other context. He was holding her so tightly she couldn't have gotten away from him without causing them both serious damage. She should have felt trapped. Instead she felt wanted and protected.

"I thought that was the idea," she said, on a throaty growl.

"It _is_," he said, "But not like this, not up against a tree on the edge of a public party. Not like that."

She moved to get up on tiptoe and he let go of enough to allow the movement. She nipped at his jaw, sucked the vulnerable skin below it. It was very gentle, nothing that would leave a mark but it went straight to his throbbing groin. He bent a little and lifted his chin, giving her better access. She sucked a little lower, worked her way to the points of his collar bone and the hollow in between.

"Then let's go back to my room; or yours. I don't care. Just don't climb over the balcony again. You just about gave me a heart attack last time."

Jack's eyes were closed. Sam rolled her hips against him. The touch, even through heavy cloth and thick skirt, was electric.

"_Stop,"_ he groaned, "Christ, Sam, if you do that again I'm going to go off in my shorts. Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've done that?"

"Can it be calculated in decades?" she asked. "Give me a hint and I can do the math in my head."

"At least one of us can still think," he said, seeking her mouth again. The kiss was less frantic this time.

"I can think of quite of few things I'd like to be doing to you, preferably in a bed. Things like this, only lower," she sucked a little harder on his throat.

"_Shut up,"_ Jack moaned piteously. "God help me, Sam, I'm so turned on I can't _breathe."_

She wriggled and he let her go.

"Come on. We can walk back together. No one will even notice."

Jack shook his head. "Someone will notice."

"Wow," she said, "You can take the guy out of Special Forces….."

"Who says?" he interrupted.

She smiled, a little wickedly. Then she took his hand and drew him out of the shadows, letting go of his hand as they came back into the light. They walked side by side towards the main lobby of their building.

"Daniel and Jillian went left a while ago," Jack told her, "I saw them leave."

"I doubt they're hanging out in the common room having coffee," Sam observed.

Jack grunted. "Lawrence and Annie left just before I came to get you."

"They probably went back to Prometheus."

Jack nodded. She was right.

The ride in the elevator was torture. The few feet that separated them felt continental.

The common room was mercifully empty. Jack turned, swept her with a long appreciative look.

"You are the hottest thing I've ever seen in my life in that outfit. You know that right?"

"Just in this outfit?" She asked, a little mischievously.

He laughed and then hauled her into his arms, knocking the breath out of her. "Come here," he growled.

He kissed her and untied the knot in the middle of her back, pulled away the fabric. Sam made a small choked sound and then her hands were scrambling to drag his shirt of his waistband. She stopped, suspended for a moment when he slipped a hand between them and found her breast. Squeezed, fondled, teased, rubbed, circled. He drank in her moans, the shiver that trembled down her spine.

_God,_ how he wanted her. He wanted to get in her so deep and make her come so hard that she forgot there had ever been anyone else and all she could think about was him. He wanted her. He wanted to mark her, make her his and his alone. He wanted to _own_ her.

He had to let go of her so she could get his shirt over his head. It hit the floor somewhere beside the bright fuchsia strip of fabric she had just been wearing. Blind with lust the touch of her naked body to his chest nearly sent Jack over the edge. He reached down and swept up his shirt and her top from the floor and then started backing her towards the doors on the other side of the room.

"Bedroom," he said.

Clinging, touching, kissing they found his door first. Jack reached around behind her and hit the control to open it. It slid silently open, they tumbled inside and Jack sealed it behind them. Loincloth and skirt hit the floor at the same time. Briefs and panties followed. Jack spun her across the room until they hit the bed and fell across it in a tangle of hands and arms and legs and seeking lips. Then Jack went to work in earnest, licking and mouthing, engulfing and sucking, stroking, petting, caressing until Sam's hands were clawing the sheets Jack's name had turned into a blur of gasps and she was more turned on than she had been in days, wet and swollen.

Breathing on her, gentle movements of his tongue his fingers stroking the inside of her thigh…

With a low helpless groan, Sam put her foot against his shoulder and pushed him back, reaching down to grasp his arm and pull him up, trying to slide under him at the same time. Her whole body welcomed him as he thrust inside in one hard movement, until he was groin-deep and thick and holding her tight. She buried her face in his neck, let out a sudden sharp sob and started to climax.

"Yeah," Jack breathed in a low satisfied growl. His strokes got longer, smoother and deeper. His body controlled hers, riding the waves. Sam clung to him helplessly and let Jack have her. It was involuntary. Orgasm melted her, merged her into Jack until they were one. Jack surged into it, fiercely, taking her - taking charge of what belonged to him, exulting in it, knowing how hard it would make her come, knowing that this was how to make her come, Taking possession of her made her wild so he did it on purpose because he loved her and she was his.

Mercurial ecstasy rose up in him, surged through every muscle in his body. The outside world dissolved into nothing as his dark eyes slid closed. They were shaking apart inside and around each other. Sam was crying out over and over in a kind of shock, hands gripping his arms, legs locked around his hips. She lifted up and drove him deeper and Jack shot, hard and fierce and with animal immediacy deep in in the silken embrace of her body.

Soldered to her, molten heat, flesh to flesh, heart to heart…

He didn't quite collapse on top of her, managing somehow to slide sideways and land with his arm over her, their legs still tangled. He could feel her breathing in slow, deep gasps, gusting soft against his neck. He lifted his head and found her forcing her eyes open to look up at him and smile.

They kissed, rubbed noses and foreheads and cheeks, smiled again. Jack laughed softly.

They spent the next hour toying with each other, feasting on each other's arousal and subsequent climaxes, sometimes laughing like teenagers, sometimes groaning like the damned until they were wrung dry and exhausted.

Sprawled across Jack like a casualty of war Sam murmured, "My _god, _Jack, did you _take_ something before bringing me up here?"

Ruffling his fingers through her disheveled, sweat-drenched hair Jack snorted. "Yeah. I took one look at you oiled, half-naked and dancing. Are you trying to kill me, doing something like that?"

Her smile was slightly wicked again but she snuggled back down with her head in the hollow of his shoulders and her fingers trailing up and down the damp valley of his chest.

"I want to stay here tonight," she said. Her voice had gotten sleepy. Post-orgasm endorphins were now coasting through both of them like the tide.

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he wasn't letting her climb over the balcony railings but then thought she might consider it a dare so he bit that back as fast as his thoughts had conjured it.

It was quite late at night. If she left to walk into the common room and go the short distance to her room no one would notice.

But he didn't want her to go.

"Consequences," he slurred, softly.

"Screw them," she sighed.

"So stay," he murmured, shifting into a slightly more comfortable position, arranging one pillow so they could share it.

"'Kay," she said, snuggling down.

Jack managed a soft kiss on her forehead and to hold back sleep until the rhythm of her breathing and the sweet weight of her body told him she was asleep.

In the morning, there would be daylight and other people. But right now there was nothing but the night and the two of them and so for a little while the world was a beautiful and perfect place.

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	184. Chapter 184

Having spent most of his adult life on the move and on different planets, much less different time zones (provided that he wasn't in fear for his life or the life of someone he loved or disturbed by a nightmare), Daniel woke after six hours no matter what time it was in the morning. In the days before Jillian that had often meant he was up before dawn. Now he was just a likely to wake up, find that it was still dark and turn to his wife thinking _I'll stay if you want me to, please always want me to._ He would gather her into his arms and she would nestle close and he would go back to sleep.

The morning after the feast he woke up first to the first pale gray light that signaled the night's end. He started to get up but Jillian made a soft, disappointed noise so he settled back down again. The next time he opened his eyes the room was flooding with bright yellow light and Jillian was slipping back into bed with him, coming back from a trip to the bathroom.

He smiled and ignored the fact that he should probably get up and find the bathroom too. There was time. He wanted her back in his arms for a moment. She was still tousled and her body still felt sleep-heavy as she settled back down with a sigh.

They didn't speak at first. The love in her eyes was breathtaking. For a moment his chest hurt and he had to swallow the ache in his throat. Under the light sheet his hand found hers and touched the only thing she was wearing – her wedding ring. It was soothing, comforting. Jillian reached up and stroked her thumb over his jaw, over the sandpaper-fine early morning beard shadow.

"Let this grow," she said.

Daniel lifted both eyebrows and looked amused. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." It was a purr, throaty, happy. She tilted her head and looked up at him hopefully. "You told me once that you would, when you didn't go off world any more. You said it was too much trouble to maintain in the field but now….. Now we're going to Atlantis, so we'll be closing up the house and tying up loose ends for a month and then three weeks to Atlantis and then, I hope, days and days spent in the library there."

He cut her off by putting a finger over her lips.

"Okay," he said.

"Really?"

He laughed a little. "Considering what you're doing for me right now, for _us_? Yeah, I think 'not shaving' is a pretty simple thing for you to ask from me."

The delight in her forest green eyes warmed him to his soul. He held her for a bit longer until he realized she was falling back to sleep.

"Jill?"

"Hm?"

"I'm going to get up now."

"Hmmm."

He waited until she was asleep and slipped gingerly out from under and around her, fixed the sheet over her shoulder. He kissed her on the forehead, mindful of using just his lips and avoiding the scratchy stubble.

He showered and didn't shave, dressed, checked on her one more time and then went out into the common room. The only occupant was Teal'c, though it was obvious from the banquet spread out on the center table that their breakfast had been delivered not too long ago. Teal'c was piling a selection of bread, cheese and fruit onto a platter.

"Who else is back from the party?" Daniel asked.

"You and I, presumably Jillian is with you, Ishta is still sleeping. There is movement and sound from O'Neill's room but none of the others."

"Where is Sam?" Daniel was suddenly alarmed.

"I believe she is in the room with O'Neill," Teal'c said, blandly.

Daniel stopped in midstride slack-jawed. "What?"

Teal'c reached into his back pocket and pulled out a strip of fuchsia colored fabric.

"I found this on the floor in front of his door."

Daniel and Teal'c shared a long, conversational look at the end of which Daniel exhaled slowly and said, "Wow."

(0)

Jack stood in the middle of the room between the bed and the door and said, "So what do you want to do?"

Sam was seated on the bed wearing yesterday's hot pink lace panties and one of Jack's t-shirts. Jack was finding this almost as sexy as the skirt and bandeau top from the night before but Sam's mind was on other things.

"I want to get a shower and get dressed," she answered.

He gestured towards his bathroom door. "There's a shower in there that you can play basketball in. I plan to take one. We could take one together."

"I know," she said, "But I can't use your soap! It dries my skin and I'll smell like you all day."

He gestured to the front door. "I can go get stuff from your room."

"Yeah, that won't look at all suspicious."

Jack sighed and resisted scratching at his spikey hair. They had seriously overslept and now they weren't sure what to do about getting Sam back to her own room.

"Just look out there and see who is awake. It's still early." Sam suggested.

Jack went to the front door, opened it cautiously and peered out.

Daniel and Teal'c were seated on the couch that ran perpendicular to his door. They both looked up curiously. Daniel had an electronic notebook balanced on his knee and a mug of the local coffee in his hand. Teal'c was eating.

"Morning," Jack said, holding the door against his body to block the view into the room.

"Morning," Daniel agreed, with feigned cheerfulness.

"Anyone else awake?" Jack asked, conversationally.

"No, no. Just me and Teal'c," Daniel answered.

"Okay," Jack said, and then shut the door quickly so he missed the speculative look that passed between Teal'c and Daniel.

Sam looked up at him.

"It's just Daniel and Teal'c. No one else is here or up yet."

Sam sighed and ran her fingers through her tangled hair. She was being indecisive and she hated it.

"What do you think?" Jack asked softly.

She looked up, sapphire eyes haunted. Jack made an aggravated noise in his throat. "Come on. I can _hear_ you thinking. Just talk."

"Those two men are my best friends."

"Same here."

"I trust them with my life. I trust them with _your_ life. I'm closer to them than I've ever been to family."

"Same here."

"We've kept all this from them to protect them."

"Yes."

"But I'm not sure there's anything we need to protect them _from_ anymore. Teal'c is leaving to be with the Free Jaffa Nation and that's exactly what he should be doing. Daniel is going to Atlantis at the request of the Langford-Littlefield Foundation and _no one_ can argue with that; not even you."

Jack frowned. That was also true. He just didn't have to like it.

"So?" He prompted when she stopped.

"They won't betray us."

"They haven't so far," Jack agreed.

"You think they know."

"Neither of them is stupid. What are you trying to talk yourself into here, Sam?"

She sighed and looked at her hands for a while. Then she looked up and met his eyes with unwavering certainty. She was so much in love with Jack, with this man who had survived every blow life had dealt him; who still challenged the world to accept him on his own terms. Sometimes he did that with acerbic biting humor and sometimes as a warrior born and bred. But either way she loved him.

Unable to tell the rest of the world, she suddenly fiercely wanted to tell the other people in her life that she loved.

"I want to tell them." She stated it bluntly. "It doesn't feel right now, when we're all going our separate ways. I don't want anything secret or left unsaid among the four of us. They should know."

She saw the concern fade out of Jack's eyes and knew the decision was made for both of them.

"So let's go," Sam said, jumping up off the bed and heading passed him to the door.

Jack caught her arm. "Wait. Wait. Dressed like that?"

Sam looked down at the oversized t-shirt. "They've seen me in less."

Jack made a gesture in the air as if he was trying to pull what he wanted to say out of the air. "The ….. context is…. Different."

"I could walk out there dressed in a nun's habit and they'd still know what we did," Sam said, shaking her head.

Jack nodded though he still looked reluctant. Driven by an instinct to protect her as old as time, he got between Sam and the door, blocked her from going any further and slowly opened it again.

Teal' and Daniel both looked up again. Jack hesitated and then stepped aside, pushing the door open wider. Sam moved from behind him to his side and stood looking uncertainly at the rest of their team.

For a moment no one spoke. Then Daniel held his hand out to Teal'c, who produced a long strip of fuchsia fabric from somewhere behind him. Daniel held it up.

"You dropped this," he said.

Sam felt heat rise up into her face and knew she was blushing the same color as her outfit from the previous night. Jack also seemed to turn ruddier under his tan. But the mild embarrassment was bearable. In fact it was hardly anything after what they had been through for eight years. There were greater emotions flooding Sam, and from the profound look on Jack's face, him too.

While they had been in Jack's room debating whether or not to tell their secret to the two people they trusted most in the world, Daniel and Teal'c had been out in the common room guarding that secret unasked.

The sense of gratitude and love that filled Sam was not something that could be put into words. Jack was also speechless but he swallowed tightly.

Sam walked over to Daniel and took her top back from him. She couldn't quite help the silly, goofy affectionate smile that pulled at her lips.

"I'm, ummm, gonna go take a shower," she said, backing away from them in the direction of her room.

"Okay," Daniel said. It was obvious he was trying very hard not to smile back.

She turned and disappeared behind her own door. Daniel and Teal'c looked back at Jack. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

"Uh, me too," he said.

Jack sealed the door and leaned back against it for a moment. Whatever Teal'c and Daniel said after that, Jack never knew.

(0)

Sam came out a while later wearing jeans and a t-shirt and fluffing her hair with a towel. She paused and took in the room. Its only occupant was now Daniel. He didn't move or say anything, though they shared a brief look. There was still a smile in his eyes that bordered on laughter. He went back to reading, sipping at the liquid in his mug. Sam went to get some food from the buffet. He let her eat in silence. His presence was calm, accepting and Sam could feel herself relaxing in it. It was something unspoken they had always depended on Daniel to do – be at home anywhere, in any situation no matter how off-kilter; and help them all feel the same way.

She finished eating, put the plates in the slot on the wall that seemed to whisk them away to be cleaned and went to sit in the chair that angled away from the couch. She inhaled as if she was about to speak and at that instant Jack's door opened and he came back into the room. He was wearing his blue BDU and still looking every bit the General. Whatever she had been about to say it died on a slow exhale.

"You two are going to talk," he guessed.

Daniel gave Sam a questioning look and she nodded though she looked uncertain.

Jack blew out a breath. "Okay. I'm gonna let you do that while I go back to Prometheus."

"Is something wrong?" Sam asked, quickly.

"Nope," Jack answered, casually, "Just don't want to do the talking thing. You two can hash it out."

He crossed the short distance between them and leaned over Sam. His fingers caressed her cheek her on the way to cradling her face in his palm for a moment. Their eyes met. For a moment it was just the two of them, shielded from the rest of the world.

"I'll be back," he said.

"I know," she answered.

They kissed with the barest touch of lips. For Daniel it didn't look the least strange. Somehow this was how it had always been. Sam and Jack had always said goodbye like this. It made his heart heavy with happiness to see it in reality at last.

Jack stood up, hit the communicator in his hand to signal Prometheus and vanished a second later in a bright flash of light.

Daniel shook his head ruefully. "He's one of the bravest men I've ever known and sometimes he's just such a chicken shit."

"I'm not sure it's that, Daniel," Sam said.

He gave her a shrewd, assessing look. "You're still in his chain of command; and this didn't just start last night."

"No it didn't. Did Jill tell you? He keeps insisting you knew."

"I did, but not because Jill told me. I figured it out when we were all in Minnesota."

"I thought we were pretty careful in Minnesota. I think we've been pretty careful everywhere."

"You didn't give it away with anything but how happy you've been and I guessed when Jill tried to keep your secret. She didn't let you down, Sam. She never said a word."

"Where is she, by the way?" Sam asked.

"She's asleep," Daniel paused, got a slightly misty look on his face and said, "Fatigue is the new issue she's dealing with and we were out late last night."

"Teal'c? Ishta?"

"They went out. He promised her a tour of the city. He's good with all this anyway."

"Ah," Sam nodded and studied her hands for a while. Then she said, "We should have told you, both of you. It feels like betrayal somehow."

"You've been protecting us."

"Yes."

"And yourselves."

"Yes. We've been trying to be safe."

"It was never safe, Sam. It still isn't. But we don't feel betrayed. I'd like to say that I wish you had told us so that we could have helped you, but you're doing just fine all by yourselves."

"But things are changing. The team doesn't exist anymore."

"The team will always exist, Sam, in one way or the other. What we forged isn't ever going to be broken. Certainly not by two of us finally admitting they're in love. This thing between you and Jack…. We've all felt it was inevitable. There's been sparks and resistance there from the beginning, though I didn't see it. Teal'c did. I was too distracted I guess. But the bond is there. It's different than the one you and I have. It's different than the one you have with Teal'c. But it's there – insanely complicated, seemingly impossible. But so real that we could feel it in the air at times. You're both happy, more relaxed that you've been in years. You adore him. He adores you and he's not tormented and miserable and locked up inside anymore. All of that is _good. _We're _happy_ for you."

Sam took that in for a while, staring unseeing at a spot on the mosaic floor. "You mean you don't want to yell at us about all the rules we broke? Or the monumental risks we're taking?

"Do you want me too?" A smile was pulling at the corners of Daniel's mouth again.

"Maybe you should."

"What purpose would it serve? It's not like you and Jack haven't thought all this through already. It's nothing you don't know already."

"True."

The smile broke a little. "I might yell at him though, just because."

"Don't," Sam said, and she was utterly serious.

His smile faded and he sat forward. "What?"

Sam sighed, "We're both military, Daniel. We're invested in it. This wasn't something we did lightly. The frat regs may suck but they're the law until someone changes them. The military won't care that we mean the world to each other. You throw all that in Jack's face just to bait him and he's likely to put you on your ass for real, for the first time in your very complex history."

Daniel studied her for a moment. She meant it. Daniel was younger, probably stronger but he had nothing like Jack's combat experience and never would. If he continued to bait Jack now, he was asking for trouble. He held up his hand in surrender.

"Okay."

"So we're all good with this then?"

"As good as we can be until Jack retires and we know you're both completely safe."

"That's fair."

Sam stood, moved over to him and leaned down to kiss his morning-scratchy cheek. "I love you, Daniel."

"I love you too, Sam."

She straightened up, took a communicator out of her back pocket, keyed the code and vanished the same way Jack had moments earlier.

Daniel sat for a while, thinking and then got up and went to his room to wake up his wife.

(0)


	185. Chapter 185

**This will begin Season 9. The first few sections are tags to Avalon, 1 and 2. This is introductions and first impressions.**

**(0)**

It had occurred to Cameron that he was the only one who ran to the Control Room every time the Gate was scheduled to open.

All right not ran, and not every time, but he certainly arranged to be there as much as possible. This time it was serendipitous. He was scheduled for the next activation – a trip to Dakara – and hadn't realized there was a team scheduled to return from off world.

It was just never going to get old – watching the bridge form between Earth and another world. It was mild compensation for the continued failure of his efforts to talk Dr. Jackson into returning to SG1. He sensed that if he could get Jackson back the rest might follow suit.

Atlantis was a hard offer to counter.

The activation claxton sounded. The Gate boiled to life, roaring like an angry lion before settling back down into something less terrifying but no less awe inspiring. Cam was transfixed for a moment, so mesmerized by watching the team appearing from the puddle that he didn't hear the man who came up behind him until he spoke.

"Doesn't get old, does it?" Daniel Jackson asked, echoing Cameron's own thoughts.

Cam was too well trained in combat to jump at the sudden voice but he did turn and glance over his left shoulder to confirm that it was Jackson.

"No, it doesn't," Cam drawled in a slow, emphatic way.

The three man team walked down to the bottom of the ramp and started handing off weapons and equipment. In the process of that they were joined by a striking woman who had just walked in from the hall. She had almost impossibly lovely skin, glowing like pale bronze in sunlight and delicately shaped over high cheekbones and a sweet heart-shaped face. A thick mass of dark suburn hair was swept up into a loose ponytail at the back of her head.

They greeted her with smiles and friendly hugs.

Cameron felt an odd stab of envy and then let out a long appreciative whistle. In a voice that was nearly awestruck and barely above a whisper he said,

"Who is _that_ and why haven't I met her yet?"

"Why?" Daniel asked casually.

Cameron hadn't been able to look away. He was still staring out the window watching her talk and laugh.

"I know you're married but in case you missed it, _she_ is hotter than Texas asphalt."

There was a smile in Daniel's voice when he answered, "That's Dr. Jillian North."

Still caught up in a kind of enchantment of staring it didn't register in Mitchell's head for a moment. When it did, he dragged his gaze away and looked sideways at Daniel.

"Dr. Jillian North," he repeated in a cautious monotone, "North-_Jackson_. So that..that's your-"

"My wife-"

"-Your wife-"

"-Yes."

Cameron looked back at the woman he now knew was married to the man standing beside him and let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"_Damn, _Jackson," he murmured in complete awe. Then he turned around again to Jackson, looking for any sign of annoyance or – god forbid – any sign that his life may now be hanging by a thread. "Look, about what I just said –"

"Georgia in August," Daniel interrupted.

"What?" Cam asked blankly.

"That's what Jack used to say. That Jillian is hotter than Georgia in August."

"The General said that?"

"Mostly when he was reminding me that if I didn't pay attention to her other men would."

Daniel was gazing at his wife with a kind of quiet, certain pride. It seemed to Cameron that he had never seen Daniel this relaxed. Usually he moved with a constant, restless energy, speaking quickly, always in motion. Now he was standing with his hands casually resting in his pockets, almost still.

"Jackson, I….." Cam stumbled to a halt. Salivating over the man's wife was unlikely to win him any favors and he desperately wanted Daniel to abandon his plans for Atlantis and rejoin SG1. But he wasn't sure how to apologize.

Turned out he didn't have to. Daniel gave a dismissive shrug of his shoulders.

"I'm married to a beautiful woman," he said, "I'd be an idiot to think that people don't notice that."

"I don't know how you can stand it," Cameron said.

"Sometimes I can't. Not that she's beautiful, that's pretty easy to take. But that other men notice," Daniel admitted. "I get through it by knowing that she never looks back. Ever."

Cameron looked back. Jillian and the team were now leaving the Gate Room. She paused on the way out and glanced up at Daniel through the window. When their eyes connected it should have melted the glass. Now Mitchell could tell her eyes were green, like summer grass and sparkling like morning rain.

"You're a lucky man," Cameron commented.

"You have no idea," Daniel murmured, like a man in a dream.

Cam laughed a little. "That must be SG8 then," he guessed, "She isn't going on missions with them?"

"No, she's helping me with a special project at the moment and we're closing down the house and packing. Things are a little hectic right now so she took a leave of absence from the team. Doesn't mean she doesn't miss them. She wanted to see them as soon as they got back. They're supposed to be bringing back more artifacts from P4S-559. We're trying to get a handle on the culture before we leave."

The gleeful way that Daniel talked about leaving was disheartening to Mitchell but he forced a smile.

"So, back to my original question," he said, "Why haven't I met her before now?"

"She's been home for the last few days," Daniel explained. "Come on, I'll introduce you."

As they trotted down the steps to the hallway outside the Gate Room Cameron remarked conversationally,

"You know, I almost didn't recognize you with the beard."

"It was Jillian's idea actually," Daniel told him.

"Yeah?"

"She's hard to say no to," Daniel said.

"I bet," Mitchell drawled.

They met Jillian and one member of her team almost at the bottom of the stairs. The tall young blond with the name Lawrence stitched on his uniform was telling her,

"I think we found more fragments of that tablet Dr. Jackson is so interested in and I'm no expert but we brought back a mask I think might be important…. Oh, Colonel," Scott Lawrence came to a halt and saluted.

"At ease, Major," Mitchell said, softly.

"You found a mask?" Daniel asked.

"I think you're both going to really like it," Scott said.

"Okay," Daniel said, "Make sure it gets checked in with the rest of the stuff from that planet in my lab."

"Yes, sir," Scott said.

"Scotty for gods' sake, it's _Daniel_," he said.

Lawrence grinned a little. "Yes, sir." He gave Mitchell another salute and waited for the Colonel to make a dismissive hand signal. Then he kissed Jillian on the cheek and left them.

"Damn," Mitchell said, "He could play Thor in a movie."

Daniel and Jillian exchanged a look and said, in unison, "No he couldn't."

Cameron looked at them for a moment and then said, "Oh no, not _that_ one! The one from the comic books. You know – Avengers?"

"Oh," Daniel said, but there was a glint in his eyes that said he had been joking. Then he reached for his wife's hand and drew her to his side.

Mitchell didn't miss the possessive nature of the gesture. Then he was drawn into deep green eyes that seemed stunningly honest.

"Jillian, I'd like you to meet Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell."

Jillian looked startled for a moment. "_That_ Cameron Mitchell?"

"Yes," Daniel said.

Jillian extended her hand. Her face and eyes lit with the kind of smile that made nations go to war.

"Colonel! I was hoping to meet you in person someday. I owe you a debt I can never begin to repay."

"Just doin' my job, ma'am," Cameron said mildly.

"It's Jillian," she said.

"In that case my friends call me Cameron."

"Col. Mitchell is here to lead SG1," Daniel said.

Jillian looked at Daniel, startled. "I didn't think they'd ever give that designation to another group."

"I didn't either," Cameron said, pointedly.

Jillian's startled look turned narrow and suspicious. It was like a cloud had suddenly covered the sun.

"We're still going to Atlantis," Daniel said, quickly, "I even offered Cameron the condo."

She relaxed, smiled. "That's a really good idea. You should seriously consider it, Cameron. It's a nice apartment, especially now that we put in a guest bathroom."

"I'll go have a look at it," Cameron promised.

He had stopped being bewitched by Jillian. In person, in conversation, she was somehow approachable. Cameron had the oddest feeling suddenly, standing there with Daniel and Jillian – as if he had just met a long lost brother and sister he had never known he had.

Daniel turned to his wife then. "You ready to go home?"

"Good lord, no," she said, "I didn't want to just see the team. I want to see what they brought back. Don't you?"

"Yeah, I kind of do," Daniel admitted reluctantly. He looked at Cam, "Do you want to come?"

"Can't," Cameron answered. "I'm scheduled to go to Dakara in ten minutes."

Daniel and Jillian exchanged another conversational look and then he nodded.

"Say hi to Teal'c for us," he said.

"I will."

"It was nice to have met you, Cameron," Jillian said, as she and Daniel turned as one to leave. "Welcome to the SGC and good luck."

(0)


	186. Chapter 186

**Still seeing the world from Cameron's eyes. In this he gets to know Daniel and Jillian a little, figures out a few things and proves to be a good friend.**

**(0)**

A few days after his failure to convince Teal'c to return and his conversation with Samantha ended on a similarly dismal note, Cameron ran into Daniel coming down the hall from the elevators and walking in the direction of his office. He was carrying a box overflowing with books and legal pads and white three ring binders.

"Oh hey, Jackson, let me help you with that," Cameron said. He got in front of Daniel and scooped some of the precariously perched binders off the top.

"Thanks," Daniel said, rearranging the load in his arms.

Cameron followed him into the office, where Daniel deposited the whole load on the cluttered table. He pushed his glasses back into place and reached for an empty cardboard box.

"So," he said, "Did you get a hold of Sam finally?"

"Yep" Mitchell said, "She turned me down too."

"Not surprised," Daniel said. He took the binders from Cam and started putting them in the box.

"She didn't tell me where she was the last few days either," Cam informed him and he sounded just a little annoyed by that.

"Also not surprised," Daniel said.

Cam blinked at him for a moment.

"You know where she was."

Daniel rolled his shoulders in a shrug. "Yep."

"Feel like sharing?"

"Nope. She'd tell you if she wanted you to know and if I tell you….," Daniel paused to put the box on the floor. When he straightened up he smiled a little. "She can kill from a distance so I don't want to take the chance."

Cam couldn't help but grin back. He was prevented from saying anything else when Jillian came around the corner and joined them. She was carrying a small paperback book.

"Hey," Daniel said, "Is that something else you want packed?"

"Oh, this? No. Sam loaned it to me before she left and I want to finish it before we leave."

"Is it any good?" Daniel asked.

Jillian shrugged. "Not really. But sometimes things are so bad they just demand that you keep reading."

Daniel's eyed the book as if it had suddenly grown fangs. "It's not going to make you cry, is it?"

"How would I know! I haven't finished it."

"The last book Sam loaned you made you cry." The statement was rich with disapproval.

"You didn't _have _to come storming into the room! I was _fine."_

"You were _crying_. I thought something was wrong."

"I cry at dog food commercials," she reminded him.

"I didn't hear the TV."

They stopped talking with their gazes locked. Daniel's looked stubborn and kind of helpless at the same time. Jillian looked indulgent and frustrated– and like she was fighting not to smile and not to murder her husband at the same time. Then she let out an exasperated little sigh.

"I have no idea if it's going to make me cry. If it does, I will send you a text so you know what to expect."

"I'd appreciate it."

"Do you want me to text you when I get to the love scenes too? You didn't mind those so much in the last book." Jillian gave a saucy toss of her head and the smile almost slipped out.

Daniel Jackson's face flushed with color from his neck to his hairline.

Cameron felt himself alternately drawn into the aura of love and understanding that seemed to radiate from Daniel and Jillian and then bracing as if they were about to start fighting any minute. He actually couldn't imagine them fighting but for the last few days he had watched in silent amazement as Daniel hovered over his wife like a hen with one chick. He had no idea what would make him treat a woman with off world SGC experience as if she was a porcelain doll. He had less of an idea why she would tolerate it with the good grace Jillian had shown.

Perhaps he was distracted by the puzzle of their relationship – and Mitchell didn't like puzzles he couldn't solve – but he completely missed whatever sign Daniel saw. One moment Jackson was standing by the miraculously uncluttered desk and the next he was in motion. He caught Jillian just as her eyes slid closed the color drained from her face and she started to fall to the floor.

The first thought Mitchell had was _hey maybe he knows something about how fragile she is that I don't. _His next thought came out his mouth,

"Whoa, Jackson! What do you want me to do?"

Daniel was kneeling on the floor now, holding Jillian.

"Jill?" He said.

"I'm just dizzy," she said.

_Okay,_ Cam thought, _she's not out, just dizzy._

Daniel looked up at Cam and gestured.

"There's a mini-fridge under that cabinet," he said, "Can you bring me the ice pack in the freezer and there's a bottle of Snapple iced tea."

"Okay," Cam said, utterly relieved to have something important to do.

"I'm fine," Jillian said, "I just got dizzy."

"Did you eat today?" Daniel asked.

"Yes!" Now she sounded annoyed.

"When?"

"I had breakfast and then I had a muffin a little while ago."

Cam got to them with the items Daniel had requested, popping the top of the Snapple bottle as he did. Daniel took them with a quick, grateful nod. He put the ice pack on the back of her neck and offered her the tea.

There was a furrow between her elegant eyebrows but she drank it. Mitchell got the feeling Daniel was on the verge of putting it in an IV drip if she didn't.

But even Cameron was relieved when she wriggled out of Daniel's arms and sat up straight. Daniel helped her stand and then directed her to the desk chair. Cam was relieved again to see the color coming back into her face. He bent over and picked up the paperback she had dropped and then stood by a little helplessly waiting to see if they needed him to do something else.

Daniel draped the ice pack against the back of her neck and then squatted down in front of her, his weight resting easily on the balls of his feet and his thighs.

"Make me happy and go to the infirmary," he said. There was no mistaking the anxiety in Daniel's voice.

Now, Mitchell knew that he had only just met these people; and whatever was going on in their private life it was none of his damned business. But he had read every word of Daniel's mission reports. He felt like he knew them and he certainly was well aware of what the world owed them, even if the world was not.

If something was wrong he wanted to help. But if something was wrong, how bad could it be if they were still leaving for Atlantis in a few days?

Jillian's lips parted as if she was going to speak but Daniel cut her off. "I am fully prepared to grovel," he said. "I can say please in thirty two languages. Well actually twenty nine because three of them have no word for please."

"I'd only understand seventeen of them," she reminded him.

"You'd get the gist of the rest of them," Daniel answered.

Jillian muttered something under her breath that sounded like Mandarin but she relented. Cameron watched the tension drain out of her expression. He saw her body relax.

"All right," she said, "since I know you're fully prepared to badger me in all thirty two languages until I do."

"I'll take you out for Chinese afterwards," Daniel promised.

Now she smiled. Their eyes met and there was something in the look, something that only they understood.

Jillian got to her feet. But even though she started first, Daniel somehow stood more quickly and had his hand under her elbow as if she might fall again.

"Cameron," Jillian said, gently, "Thank you for getting the iced tea for me."

"It was my pleasure," he said, remembering the good manners his mama had drilled into him. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you, but he won't be happy until a doctor tells him that. Can you excuse us?"

"Sure!"

Daniel tossed Mitchell the ice pack as they left.

"Thanks," he said. The look in his eyes was steady and grateful. It took Cameron by surprise. Even in the short time Cam had known Daniel, even in the relaxed atmosphere of the local bar on his very first outing to 'First Thursday', Cameron had found Daniel to be one of the most opaque characters he had ever met.

When he had first come to the Base, he had been told casually to call him "Daniel." It took Mitchell about a day to figure out that Daniel told everyone that and hardly anyone at the SGC ever took him up on it. In fact it seemed that no one who dealt with Daniel on any kind of professional basis called him anything but Dr. Jackson; except Jillian, who called him a variety of pet names in multiple languages as well as – stunningly – 'Dan.' Cameron had the feeling that there were only four people Daniel had ever told to call him 'Daniel' and meant it – O'Neill, Sam, Teal'c and Jillian.

Mitchell had therefore started calling him simply "Jackson." It wasn't as formal as his entire title. It implied a more equal footing than what actually existed but Cameron liked that. In fact there was a masculine camaraderie about the use of surnames that made it even more appealing. So far he hadn't gotten any negative vibrations about it.

For the most part though, Cameron had settled on calling him Jackson because the more time he spent with the man the more clearly he saw the way Daniel shielded his privacy. Daniel looked as easygoing and approachable and friendly as an old hound dog sleeping in the shade on the porch. But get one step too close to his personal space and your breath would fog in the frozen air.

'Daniel' implied a relationship that he simply did not – and probably would never – have with him. Even if he got the band back together, Mitchell would have authority but he would never have seniority.

And if Cameron wanted to know what was wrong with Jillian – if anything – he was going to have to tread carefully.

"No problem," Cameron answered.

(0)

Several hours later Cameron went around a corner on the way to the quarters he had been assigned and nearly ran straight into Daniel – who was walking with his head down reading from a paper attached to a clipboard.

"Hey!" He said, startled, "I thought you were taking your wife out for Chinese. Is she all right?"

Daniel recovered quickly. "Oh, yeah, she's fine," he said. "Dr. Lam recommended that she eat something. So we went to the commissary and then I talked her into taking a nap. I promised her Chinese for dinner on the way home when she wakes up."

They fell into step and walked side by side down the long gray corridor.

"And she agreed to that?" Mitchell was surprised.

Something in his voice must have caught Daniel's attention because he lowered the clipboard to his side, turned his head just enough to eye Mitchell sideways and said,

"Why?"

Cameron could almost feel the corridor getting chilly. He mustered a bit of courage and forged on.

"I read all the mission reports up until SG9. I just started those. From what I read your wife doesn't strike me as the 'napping' type; and I was there when she almost fainted. So excuse me if I'm a little concerned."

He ended on a low, sleepy, clipped tone that made Daniel's eyes narrow. It was the voice of a man prepared to go on the offensive. Daniel would either get angry or he wouldn't. They were talking about the man's wife after all; but Cam had no way of knowing which was about to happen. He watched Daniel's temper rise, briefly and then fade. The chill in his eyes thawed.

Cam let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"She's fine. Low blood sugar combined with a restless night's sleep. I think going to Atlantis might be stressing her out more than she's admitting."

"But you still want to go?" Cameron pressed.

"Yes, and so does she. We talked about it again."

There was a flicker in Daniel's expression again. Cam decided to let it go. They walked in silence for a few minutes. But Cam couldn't get his brain to stop puzzling over the enigma of the Jillian North-Jackson he thought he knew from reading SG8's reports and the Jillian he had come to know over the last few days.

Daniel treated her as if she was made of cut glass. She took naps and hadn't had a drop to drink except water or tea in all the time he had known her; not even when the entirety of the SGC had been consuming mass quantities of alcohol at First Thursday. She had stopped going on missions…..

And suddenly it hit Cameron with a kind of stunning clarity that only came once in a while. He was so startled he said it out loud, in a low, conclusive voice that brooked no argument.

"She's pregnant."

Daniel came to a complete halt. His eyes closed and for just a moment one hand curled into a fist. Cam braced and prepared to back down. He should never have blurted it out like that.

Not with Daniel.

Then Jackson let out a long deep breath and said, "Yes, but we weren't going to start making that public just yet. The rumor mill around here has had Jillian pregnant at least two dozen times in the last six years. So there's going to be a lot of surprised people when this time it turns out to be true."

"Congratulations," Mitchell said, hesitantly, trying to make sure that Daniel was truly not about to murder him where he stood. "Do you know what it is yet?"

"It's a boy," Daniel said, and now he couldn't quite keep the smile out of his voice.

Mitchell smiled openly. "Ah, now see, _that's_ fantastic; and I promise I won't say a word."

"We'd appreciate it," Daniel said.

They started walking again.

"But you're still going to Atlantis," Cameron said.

"Yep," Daniel said, stubbornly.

"Can't talk you out of it."

"Mitchell," Daniel said, slowly, "It would take the sudden outbreak of an intergalactic threat to keep me from going to Atlantis."

"Okay," Mitchell said, "I don't think that's going to happen."

"Neither do I," Daniel said.

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	187. Chapter 187

**Another missing scene from Avalon part 1.**

**(0)**

The movement in the doorway was the first thing that alerted Daniel to the sudden presence coming into his office. He hadn't heard any footsteps in the concrete corridor. He looked up with his body automatically bracing for a fight since his flight options were somewhat limited, given the solid wall behind him.

"Jack!" He said, with no small sense of relief. Then, irritably, "Do you _have_ to sneak up on everyone like that?"

"No," Jack answered, calmly. His expression was the affable, slightly confused and out of it one that he had perfected over eight years at the SGC.

Daniel snorted and shook his head. _Bastard,_ Daniel thought affectionately.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were touring Area 51."

"I was," Jack acknowledged as he came deeper into the room, invading Daniel's space but he had always been welcomed to do so.

In fact, before he had left for DC, Jack had managed to saunter by Daniel's office several times a day; always by stealth, never detected even by the man who should have recognized his approach from a mile away. Daniel had never known if Jack was bored, or dodging reports he should be writing, avoiding Hammond or working on team building. Maybe it was all of the above. He had done the same thing to Teal'c and Sam.

In those days that were now gone Daniel would wait a bit and then ask Jack what was going on. Jack would ask him what he was working on. Daniel would give him a series of run on sentences describing the latest find or translation until Jack interrupted him. Then Jack would say, "So, everything's good?" and Daniel would say "Yep, everything's good" and Jack would wander off again.

Daniel hadn't realized until this very moment how much he had missed that; and how much he was going to miss it when he was in Atlantis.

"How's Sam?" Daniel asked.

"She's…..good," Jack said, "Really good."

Daniel didn't say anything. He put his chin down to look at Jack over the top of his glasses and waited, letting the demand sit unspoken in the air between them.

"She loves the technology, hates being earthbound," Jack said finally.

"Is she still mad at you for the whole DC thing?"

"She's still mad but not at me."

Daniel nodded. That sounded right. No one could have foreseen the sudden change in General Hammond's health that had caused his swift retirement from the program. There had been only one logical candidate for the open position – General Jack O'Neill.

And like every other time in his life when the military had asked Jack for sacrifice, Jack had said yes.

Sam had been less than happy with Jack's decision. In fact she had gone somewhat ballistic over it, kicking Jack out in a pretty spectacular display of ruthless efficiency and female indignation. Then the mission to P9x-922 had gone wrong in all the wrong ways and the next thing Daniel knew Sam and Jack were fine again. He had gone to DC and she had gone to Area 51 and somehow they were determined to make an illegal, clandestine relationship work over a two thousand mile separation.

Daniel's only regret about leaving for Atlantis was that he wouldn't be here to help them do it.

"How's Jill?" Jack asked.

Daniel smiled. "She's fine. Determined to stop my heart at least twice a day with one thing or another but fine."

"Nothing that will stop you from going to Atlantis?" Jack asked. It seemed to Daniel that he sounded a wee bit hopeful.

"Nope," Daniel answered and plopped another set of books into a box for emphasis.

Their eyes met for a moment and then they both let it go. It was an old argument and neither of them had the clout to go up against Langford-Littlefield. Not even General Jack O'Neill and Dr. Daniel Jackson could speak louder than the amount of money poured into the program from that source. They had quickly reached that point in the conversation where they ran out of words and arrived at an unspoken understanding.

"So what do you think of Mitchell?" Jack asked, perching on the edge of the work table and assuming an air of nonchalance that Daniel knew was entirely feigned.

Daniel met the gaze focused on him. It was too clear, too sharp, very dark with a hint at all the questions Jack wasn't asking him.

"You know, you could have told him there wasn't an SG-1 anymore," Daniel replied, mildly.

"Then he might have turned down the job," Jack countered.

"Would that be bad?"

Jack shrugged. "I want him in the program."

It was as simple as that, Daniel thought. Jack got what he wanted and if he got it by omitting important information about a job then he would. He wasn't ruthless in that way, just focused and with a talent for seeing the bigger picture. That had always been his greatest strength.

He wondered if it would piss Mitchell off when Mitchell figured it out, decided it would but knew the man was too military to ever shout out his CO about it.

Ah, the freedom of being an SGC civilian….

"He's that good?" Daniel asked.

Jack returned a steady stare, full of meaning. "Not yet, but you don't walk away from the kind of crash he survived without a certain something. Luck, skill, or damned stubborn determination or all three," he answered. He paused, measuring his next words. "I need to see what people he manages to gather around him and how he plays this out."

Then Jack waited, asking in silence for the moral perspective that he knew Daniel would give him.

"It's dangerous out there," Daniel observed.

"He didn't join the military to be safe," Jack countered. "He wasn't taken into the 302 program because he had a reputation for wanting to be safe."

Daniel realized something then. "You got him in the 302 program."

"Damn straight I did," Jack said. "He jumped at it."

"Then chances are he would have taken the position here even if you had told him SG-1 had all been reassigned," Daniel concluded.

There was a flicker in Jack's eyes. It might have been relief.

"You want to come back to the house for dinner?" Daniel asked. "We've got steaks and we can stop for beer."

They were both delaying it now and they both knew it – that inevitable moment when they would say goodbye and then Daniel would be in another galaxy.

"Yeah," Jack said, immediately, "I'd like that."

"Good," Daniel said.

(0)

A/N: It always bothered me that Jack is shown with Landry in Avalon part 1 and not with Daniel. I understand that they have a limited amount of time to tell a story but I always felt that Jack would make sure he saw Daniel one more time before Atlantis.


	188. Chapter 188

Jillian sat back in the chair at the desk and said, in utter shock, "Daniel, you did what?"

Daniel braced his feet, tried to relax his hands and kept from licking his dry lips by sheer force of will. He had known this was not going to make Jillian happy. He had seriously underestimated how much.

"Jill, listen, I know you're upset….."

"She kidnapped you," his wife's voice was flat, hard and hotter than burning coals. "She _assaulted_ you. She stole the Prometheus and she marooned me and the entire crew on a derelict in space. I have no doubt she expected us all to die and who know what she had in mind for you!"

"All true," Daniel admitted.

"Then what in the name of anything holy are you _thinking_?"

"That what she has must be valuable or she wouldn't risk contacting us at all. That was the deal. She shows me the tablet if we don't bring any charges."

"And you agreed to this?"

Daniel took several shallow breaths, thinking about the wording of his next utterance with great care. The simple truth was that his wife's temper scared the hell out of him, if only because it took so _very_ much to trigger it.

"She claims the tablet leads to an Ancient buried treasure here on Earth. That possibility is too important to risk turning away."

"I take it you just said Ancient with a capital A?"

"Yes."

"So the woman who kidnapped and assaulted you is here to help us find out more about the people who abandoned you naked and stripped of your memory light years from home?"

Daniel took another deep breath and squared his shoulders. He could see the anger and frustration swirling around in her deep green eyes.

But there was something else mixed in with the anger. He stared at her, looking passed the fury.

"Jillian," he said, softly.

_God,_ the protective fierceness he saw in her eyes. The pain, the fear…..

Daniel dropped his chin but kept looking at her over the rim of his glasses. His head tipped and the corners of his mouth lifted in a faint, coaxing smile. He was pretty sure she didn't know that he knew exactly what that particular look did to her.

"She can't hurt me, not here," he said, understanding that as much as he needed to keep her safe, her need to safeguard him was just as great. Daniel was driven by the memory of having lost every single person he had ever dared to call family. Jillian was driven by the memories of what it was like to live without him. "Neither can the Ancients, not anymore."

Jillian bit her lip and looked away and Daniel knew that if she started to cry he was lost.

"Vala is on the Base already. They're waiting for me in the Briefing Room. Tell me not to go if that's what you want."

She made a sound that was part laugh and part whimper. "As if anyone can stop you when you want to do something."

Daniel went and knelt down in front of her, reaching up to put his fingers under her chin and turn her face to look at him. He was braced for tears but her eyes were dry.

"You can," he whispered, "You're the only one who can."

Jillian held his eyes with her own for a moment and then stroked her thumb over the soft beard covering his jaw.

"Dad is going to be here in twenty minutes to get the keys and go over the last minute stuff about the house," she reminded him.

"I know and in twelve hours we're leaving for Atlantis. None of that has changed."

"Except that you're going to stay here now and I'm going to go back to the house for your jacket that you forgot."

"Do you mind?" He asked.

"No," but it didn't sound like it. She still sounded annoyed.

Jillian sighed. She still looked unhappy but at least she no longer looked angry.

"So go. Read the damned tablet and then pick me up at home?"

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

Daniel's eyes narrowed. "Why are you agreeing to this suddenly?"

"Should I continue arguing with you then?"

"No," he said, quickly, "No. I much prefer you agreeing with me."

"If it makes you feel better I don't agree with you. I just don't want to argue with you anymore about something I know I'll give in on, eventually."

"Because you know I'm right?"

"Because I know you're stubborn!" She shot back.

Daniel rose up on his knees and began massaging the knots of tension out of her shoulders.

"I love you," he said.

"Don't use my heart against me, Daniel. I love you too and I don't want this between us the whole time we're in Atlantis – you being eaten alive wondering what it was you didn't get to see and what it might lead to; and I don't want to be the person who kept you from seeing it. Go see it, find out what's going on and I'll see you at the house."

"You're sure?" he repeated.

"Yes," she said, ducked her head, bit her lip and looked back at him with those eyes he couldn't resist, "Just, be careful. Don't trust her."

"I don't trust her," he said.

Jillian was prevented from saying anything by the ringing of the phone. Daniel stood and answered it.

"Jackson….yeah… okay, I'll tell her."

He set the receiver back in the cradle and said, "You're Dad is here. He's waiting topside."

"He's early," she observed.

"Isn't he always?"

"I'll walk you to the surface," he said.

"You can walk me to the elevator. Dad will meet me on the surface."

"Okay," he said.

Jillian stood and let Daniel pull her into his arms.

"I meant it when I said I love you," he whispered into her ear. He was relieved that she had calmed down; but still annoyed with the circumstances that had made her angry in the first place.

She smiled at him in the quiet, sensual way that always thrilled his heart and excited his body.

Daniel tightened his arms and then gave her a long, very thorough kiss.

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	189. Chapter 189

**The middle portion of this chapter is dialogue and settings lifted from the script for Avalon part 1. I take no credit for doing anything but adding thoughts and actions to the dialogue.**

**(0)**

The conversation at the elevator had been once again fraught with tension. Jillian's unhappiness about the timing of this interruption had gotten the best of her just before the doors opened. Daniel didn't like it when Jillian was unhappy. He liked it even less when her unhappiness was being caused by his own often-fatal curiosity and drive for knowledge.

He had watched her struggle to not be mad at him but at the situation. The truth was that Jillian understood him better than ninety nine percent of the people in his life. She couldn't be mad at him for being who he was. But she didn't like this, one bit. He could see it in her eyes and feel it in the way she kissed him goodbye.

Daniel just wasn't sure what would happen if her unhappiness became anger again.

In normal circumstances he had no trouble at all picturing Jillian with a staff weapon in her hand showing Vala exactly what it was she had learned from the former First Prime of Apophis. But the circumstances weren't normal so Daniel wasn't sure what would happen if Vala somehow managed to do him some kind of harm in the next few hours.

He was just very glad he was putting distance between his wife and his former captor. With some careful planning, the two of them didn't ever need to meet.

All things considered, Daniel was in less than a patient mood when he got to the Briefing Room.

He was in no mood for Vala or her games.

"Okay. Where is it?" He demanded the moment he crossed the threshold.

Vala sauntered forward with a demure smile totally at odds with her dominatrix/prostitute attire. She seemed taken aback by his defensive attitude. But really, what had she expected? He hadn't advocated for her entrance to the SGC because of _her_ and he suspected that she was too smart to have thought that. Was he really supposed to be glad to see her?

"Nice to see you too? How have you been?" Vala said and once again Daniel couldn't believe she was trying to strike up a conversation as if they were old friends.

The impatience coiled in his gut started to morph into anger. Daniel was little better than his wife when it came to that.

"The tablet!" He snapped, "The one that leads to the 'incredible Ancient buried treasure'."

Vala's steel gray eyes narrowed and she lost her friendly stance. "There is no tablet," she said, bluntly.

Mitchell seemed to come out of a brain fog and looked at Daniel in surprise, questions leaping into his expression.

"What?" Daniel ground out.

"I lied to you," she went on, glibly, "I had to tell you in person…." She dropped her voice to one of female vulnerability. "I'm pregnant."

Something in Daniel rose up, dark and ugly and ready to strike. He recognized it and struggled to control it because once unleashed it wasn't pretty.

Maybe it was something in the way he looked at her because Vala's tone changed again. She seemed to shrug it off, blithely saying, "Pretty sure it's yours, anyway. There's at least a one in…" She paused and frowned in concentration, counting, "…hmm…ten chance?"

Then she smiled brilliantly and winked at Mitchell, who was now so off kilter he didn't know what to do.

Afraid of what he might do if he stayed, Daniel turned abruptly with every intention of walking away. He got as far as the door when Landry's voice stopped him.

"Dr. Jackson! You're the reason we let her through the Gate."

Daniel stopped as if he'd hit a wall. He didn't have anywhere near the level of respect for Landry that he'd had for Hammond. But Landry had been hand-picked by Jack and there was an understood level of respect for that. He also had no reason to disrespect the man in front of one of his subordinates.

He also had no desire to give this woman another second of his life. He turned back in a gesture of apology.

"I'm sorry, sir. I really have to finish packing…"

Landry interrupted him. "The _Daedalus_ doesn't leave for another 12 hours. At least have a look."

With that Landry himself left the room.

Cameron opened the case and moved a piece of parchment to one side so that Vala could lift up a piece of dark stone slightly larger than Daniel's hand.

Vala smiled at Cam and said, "Thank you."

Daniel didn't miss the flash of attraction in Mitchell's eyes. It didn't help Daniel's mood. He took the tablet from her too roughly and gave it a cursory glance.

"Yep, I don't know where you got this, but uh, you got ripped off. It's complete gibberish," he said, dismissively. He felt no small sense of relief. Dial the Gate. Get Vala out of here before she said something outrageous in front of Jillian, causing the Earth to spin off its axis and fall into the sun.

He tried to give her back the tablet but she refused to take it.

"It's written in code."

In spite of himself, Daniel's attention was caught. Vala had said all the wrong things to him since he had come into the room – until now.

He looked at it again. Cameron got up and joined him, also looking at it curiously; and then he looked at Daniel hopefully. Daniel reined in his temper. He wasn't angry with Cam.

"Well, I can't crack this in a few hours."

Smugly, Vala said, "I know the cipher."

Daniel bit out his next words, "Then why do you need me?"

"Well, reading it is one thing, understanding it is another," Vala admitted, "The individual I got this from assured me that the treasure it describes is here on Earth. Now, I could have come by ship and looked for it myself, but I know nothing about your fair planet…other than it seems to have a rather interesting, if somewhat limited, gene pool."

Daniel exchanged a confused look with Cameron before looking back at Vala, who just smiled.

He shook his head as if clearing it. "All right fine. I can give it a few hours. Let's go to my office."

They left the Briefing Room and suffered through walking the halls with Vala, who couldn't help but send flirty come-here looks at every man they passed. Daniel could barely contain his agitation. Yes, he wanted to leave a working understanding of this tablet. Yes, he wanted to be rid of Vala as soon as possible. But he had no idea how he was going to keep Jillian off the Base for the next few hours. She'd suspect anything he said to try to keep her at home; and truthfully he could use her help researching whatever it was this tablet said. Everything went faster when he worked with her.

Vala's unrelenting teasing wasn't helping his fraying temper. For the most part he had been the brunt of jokes for most of his life and was adept at letting them run off like so much water on a duck. He had no problem ignoring all Vala's verbal jabs at him. Then she said something he couldn't ignore.

"You know, if it's a boy I can still name it after you."

Fury boiled out of Daniel like a nest of disturbed vipers. One moment he was walking next to her and the next he had her up against a wall, staring into her shocked eyes with his hand around her throat.

(0)

Daniel's reaction caught her utterly off guard. He had more preternatural reflexes than she would have believed and for a moment she didn't dare breathe; not that breathing was easy with his fingers digging into the sides of her throat. She stared into his eyes and saw only a murderous fury and cold intent.

"Daniel!" she choked out. But it was sudden fear and surprise that made it hard to talk. He had her pinned but she could still breathe.

Vaguely in the background she heard Mitchell yelling, "Whoa, Jackson! Wait a minute!"

She could feel Mitchell grabbing Daniel from behind, grabbing his wrists, trying to pull him off; and in any other setting she might have made a glib comment about a threesome.

But she had never felt so ... outmatched, helpless.

Vala knew she could breathe and she still had her arms and legs free if she wanted to attempt to fight back. If she tried to break away with any kind defense, she would never be able to execute it fast enough. She saw in his eyes that he knew she was considering it, wanting to strike out at him. Suddenly every possible future moment between them played out undone because she knew he would respond before she had a chance to act.

Vala realized suddenly that Daniel was instinct blended with superior training and hard field experience. What he could do was now faster than thought because he had reached a point in his life where actions could bypass thought.

He might well be the most dangerous person she had ever met - the more so because she had met him before and failed to see it. He had been toying with her on the Prometheus, not fully committed to the fight, only to getting her subdued and under his control.

His intent now was clear. He seemed on the edge of killing.

And Vala had no idea what she had said to set him off.

_Sex with him must be incredible…. _The thought went through her head before she could stop it.

Daniel's eyes narrowed as if he had heard the thought loud and clear and was only further angered by it.

His voice was low and icy when he finally spoke. "If you say anything –_anything_ – about being pregnant in front of my wife I will put you permanently in one of these walls. Do you understand?"

"What?" Vala said, shocked. "Your _wife?"_

Daniel pushed her closer to the wall with his body. "_Do you understand_?" He repeated.

Vala swore she could feel the wall behind her growing chill.

"Yes!" She snapped, with all the matching anger she could muster. "Now for gods' sake put me down."

There was another moment's frozen hesitation, as if Daniel was still considering just choking her and having done with it. Vala heard Mitchell once again pleading,

"Jackson, you can't kill her in front of this many witnesses."

Daniel made a frustrated growling sound in the back of his throat, let go of Vala and shook Cam off. Then he stalked off down the hall, leaving them to follow if they wanted or not.

Vala coughed, not entirely for dramatic effect.

"You okay?" Cam's voice was surprisingly neutral.

"His _wife_?" Vala said instead of answering.

"Daniel's married," Cam stated flatly. "You didn't know?"

"No!"

"His wife was one of the people you marooned on that derelict ship. She was less than happy about it."

_Shit, _Vala thought. She assumed a cavalier attitude and began walking down the hall in the direction Daniel had gone as if nothing had happened, as if she knew where she was going.

"Well he certainly didn't say anything about having a wife the last time we met." She said it as if they had met at a garden party.

"Well he wouldn't would he?" Mitchell said, falling into step beside her, "You had kidnapped him already so why would he give you that much more leverage over him? He isn't in the business of letting people use his wife as a knife held against his throat. His own life isn't as important to him as hers and he'll do whatever it takes to protect her. He meant it Vala. Don't mess with her."

Vala tried not to grind her teeth. She had believed that she knew Daniel from their one confrontational, antagonistic meeting. Apparently she had been wrong.

She didn't like being wrong. So she wouldn't underestimate him again.

(0)


	190. Chapter 190

**Jillian arrives at the SGC sometime after Daniel's collapse but several hours before he wakes up. The timing is odd here. When Vala arrives the Daedalus was leaving in twelve hours. When Daniel wakes up it has been gone for two. That means all of this plays out over a fourteen hour period, begging the question of how long Daniel and Vala were actually unconscious.**

**(0)**

Jillian was perched on a stool beside her husband's infirmary bed, holding his hand and staring up at Mitchell.

"And then he just collapsed?" She repeated.

From time to time while Cam had tried to explain what had transpired since Jillian had left the Base, her clear green eyes had slid from Cam's face to Daniel's heart monitor, watching the comforting peaks and valleys a moment or two before looking back at Mitchell.

"Um, yeah," Cam answered. "So did she." He made a helpless gesture towards the woman in the other bed.

The infamous Vala Mal Doran.

At that moment General Landry entered the room.

"How are they doing?" He asked.

"No change," Mitchell responded, "We think it has something to do with the bracelets."

"General," Jillian spoke up, "The markings are Goa'uld but they don't make any sense to me. Can you please send for Teal'c? He might know what they are and how to get them off." When the General appeared to hesitate she added, softly, "_Please."_

Cameron decided that if Landry said no he would officially be the most heartless man who ever lived. He didn't know how anyone could have looked into Jillian's wide frightened eyes and said anything but yes. With SG 1 dismantled and scattered to the four winds and SG8 on an off world mission, Cameron didn't think he had ever seen someone look as adrift and unanchored as Jillian did at the moment.

"I'll see what I can do," Landry replied, softly, "But I can't promise he'll be able to come."

"If you can contact him, he'll come," Mitchell said with conviction.

Jillian looked at Cameron sharply. He became the object of her intense scrutiny suddenly and it was all he could do not to squirm. When her focus ended a moment later Cam understood that she had just made some decision about him. He just had no idea what conclusion she had reached.

He had settled on 'Jackson' for Daniel. He realized suddenly that he had yet to address Jillian by any kind of name at all. She kept the same sense of distance about her that Daniel did and it seemed no less able to be breeched than his.

There was an awkward silence after Landry left the room until Cam said, uncertainly,

"Can I go get you something? Tea maybe? Something to eat?"

Jillian managed to smile at him kindly. "You don't have to wait on me, Cameron."

"The truth is, ma'am, I'm not much good at sittin' around; and the Air Force made me an officer but my mama made me a gentleman and I'd hate to let her down. So if you could give me something productive to do it would be like heaven's mercy."

He was pleased to see that it coaxed another small smile from her. He didn't know many scientists. It was good to know that the 'good ole boy' charm worked even with them.

"In that case, an iced tea would be lovely."

"Green tea with honey and lemon," he said quickly and when her expression flickered for a moment he wondered if he had crossed a line. But he couldn't help that he was observant and always had been.

"Yes," she said, slowly, "Thank you."

As he turned to go on his errand Jillian said, "Cameron, you know you don't actually have to stay with Daniel either, if there are other things you should be doing."

"No, ma'am, I kind of do."

"Why?" She asked, with a curious tilt of her head.

Cameron shrugged as if it were obvious.

"Because," he said, "General O'Neill put me in charge of SG1."

This time he got as far as the door before she stopped him again.

"Cameron."

"Yes?"

"It's Jillian."

Cameron nodded. "Yes, ma'am," he said, cordially.

(0)

Jillian had always felt that if there was a true archetypal mythological Hero it was Teal'c. He had been born into extraordinary (by Earth standards) circumstances. He had left his home on a quest to live among strangers who became his friends. He had been forced to prove himself over and over. He had a special weapon only he yielded. He had (by Earth standards) supernatural help. The list of the ways Teal'c fit the archetype were nearly endless. Jillian had compared him once to Luke Skywalker. The comparison had appeared to please the Jaffa.

She had known immediately that they needed Teal'c but even she had under estimated how relieved she would be to see him when he arrived an hour later.

The moment his tall frame filled the doorway Jillian slipped off the stool beside Daniel's bed and ran to him. She had to stand on tiptoe to get her arms around his neck, though he obligingly bent over. The embrace he offered was gentle, comforting.

Jillian was beyond frustrated and beyond frightened at this point. The Daedalus was leaving in eight hours and it was starting to be obvious that she and Daniel were not going to be on it.

As for Teal'c, he had one phrase permanently imprinted on his memory, in Daniel's voice – shaky, tight with emotion and with the effort to speak at all as he had slowly died of radiation poisoning: _Take care of Jillian for me. _It was an honor that humbled him. Having been instrumental in the kidnapping and death of Daniel's first wife Teal'c was determined to keep the second one safe even at the cost of his own life. He had never been sure that Daniel had truly forgiven him until the moment when Daniel had charged him with protecting Jillian.

It was not a responsibility he had laid down simply because Daniel had returned. But he also knew that sometimes the hardest part of taking care of Jillian was keeping her husband out of trouble.

"What has happened?" he asked, casting a baleful glance at the man lying in the hospital bed before inclining his head in greeting to Cameron Mitchell.

As Jillian began giving him the details as far as they were understood, with Cam occasionally supplying a detail, Teal'c listened carefully. He had briefly lifted Daniel's wrist to examine the bracelet. Jillian didn't like the frown that creased his forehead when he did.

"Do you know what they are?" Jillian asked when they were done.

"They are Kor mak," Teal'c said grimly.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Cam drawled slowly.

"It is less than good," Teal'c answered and then he explained the bracelets and their function.

There was a heavy pause in which Cam gaped and Jillian's eyes smoldered just before catching fire. She leapt to her feet, fists balled. Mitchell almost got to his feet with her, startled. Teal'c merely turned his head but his body became alert.

"No," Jillian said, prowling back and forth in a tight line like an angry tigress. She wrapped her arms tightly across her midrift. "No, this is _not_ going to happen. I've lost Daniel to his own heroism. I've lost him in the pursuit of knowledge. I've almost lost him to just plain bad timing. I've lost him to powerful enemies but I will _not _watch him be sacrificed on the altar of _that_ woman's greed!"

If Daniel's temper could cause your breath to fog in the icy air, Jillian's could scorch like a back draft. Her voice rose until it was raging like wildfire.

"Nor will I, Jillian Jackson," Teal'c promised softly.

"I swear, Teal'c," she went on vehemently, "if something happens to Daniel I will hang her by her heels and skin her one small inch at a time!"

Cameron leaned closer to Teal'c and whispered, "Would she really do that?"

"In this mood, she wouldn't bother using a knife," Teal'c rumbled back. Then louder he said, "Jillian Jackson, it will not help your husband or your son to continue like this."

The sharp concern in his voice focused her attention. The fire wasn't out - far from it; but she stopped pacing and took several long, slow deep breaths.

"She _is_ under arrest, isn't she?" Jillian asked Cameron. 'She' was made to sound like something particularly vile.

"Yes," Cameron assured her, "But the holding cells will probably be too far from Daniel so we're setting up a room down the hall for when they wake up. She'll have an armed guard on the door and an escort."

"An escort?" Jillian asked.

"Me," Cameron said, bluntly.

Green eyes pinned him. "You won't let her out of your sight?"

"I won't," Mitchell swore, "I'd promise to chain myself to her but I get the feeling she'd actually like that. Besides," he shrugged again, "She won't have much motivation for getting too far away from Daniel."

"Unless she knows something about the bracelets that we do not," Teal'c pointed out. He seemed on the verge of saying more when Jillian suddenly swayed on her feet and saw back down on the stool.

He went to her side. "Are you all right?"

"I'm just dizzy."

"Have you slept?"

"Not since I got up this morning," she admitted.

"Then you should go get some rest," Teal'c concluded.

Jillian gave a rueful shake of her head. "I can't sleep without him next to me, not when things are ….. like this."

Cam gestured behind her. "There's a perfectly good bed right there no one is using."

"No, I don't think I can sleep. Not until I know he's awake at least."

"Perhaps, Jillian Jackson," Teal'c said, "there is something in one of Daniel Jackson's books that would give us more information about the Kor Mak bracelets."

That caught her attention and Mitchell realized she wasn't the only one who preferred to be in motion. But she sighed.

"All of Daniel's books are packed. Some of them are worth thousands. We didn't dare leave them out."

"If your life was in danger having to unpack to find an answer would not stop him from doing so," Teal'c pointed out.

She smiled a little. "No doubt. But he'll have a heart attack if he finds out I was lifting boxes of books and then we won't have to worry about the bracelets."

"Then I will assist you," Teal'c said.

Jillian hesitated and then nodded.

"I'm so glad you're here," she said.

"Where else would I be?" Teal'c answered.

(0)


	191. Chapter 191

**And now Daniel wakes up….. Again the opening dialogue is not mine.**

(0)

Upon hearing that the Daedalus had left, Daniel threw himself backwards onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, grinding his teeth.

"Look,"Mitchell said, trying to sound reasonable, "the tablet is written in Ancient code, right? I know it's not the lost city of Atlantis we're looking for here, but whatever it is could be worth finding." He paused for a moment and then said, "Or you're just going to have to marry that chick."

Vala instantly sat up and looked delighted, mostly because sarcastic cracks about babies seemed to send Daniel completely over the edge and there was no way he could make good on his threats at the moment.

"Yeah!" she said, grinning broadly, "Let's make babies!"

A hard shudder went through Daniel and he snapped in frustration, "I _am_ married."

Then something awful occurred to him. He had just woken up in a hospital without his wife waiting at his side. He lifted up on his elbows and looked straight at Teal'c.

"I _am_ still married, right? Jillian didn't…."

Daniel let it trail off , for the first time in his life too afraid to give voice to his thoughts.

"Leave on the Daedalus without you?" Mitchell supplied.

In the next few frozen seconds Cameron learned to never – never – tease Daniel about Jillian leaving him. All of the color left Daniel's face. His heart monitor skipped a beat and then started racing. The look he was giving Teal'c went from worried to terrified in the space of an instant.

"Your wife is in your office," Teal'c said, calmly, "researching the Kor Mak bracelets to determine how they may be removed."

Daniel sank back onto the pillow again with his eyes closed and threw his arm over his face. He started breathing slowly and his heart monitor gradually resumed a normal rhythm. Teal'c glared at Mitchell, who looked back at the Jaffa contritely.

Then Daniel sat up again. "Wait. If the Daedalus left two hours ago it's after midnight. What the hell is she doing still awake? Why didn't someone make her go to bed?"

"There is a saying on your planet, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c answered, "You can lead a domesticated equine to liquid sustenance but you cannot make them partake."

Daniel blinked at him for a moment. Teal'c gazed back inscrutably. Cameron finally spoke up,

"We tried. She said she'd sleep when you woke up."

Daniel muttered something dark under his breath. Frustration creased his brow again.

"Can I get some clothes and someone who can sign me out of here so no one tracks me down and drags me back?"

"Yeah," Mitchell said, still feeling badly about freaking Daniel out over Jillian. "I'll do that." He practically ran out the door.

Teal'c had gone to the phone on the wall and dialed Daniel's office. After a pause, he said, "He is awake….. Yes….. I will tell him."

He hung up the phone and turned to Daniel.

"What are you supposed to tell me?"

"That she is angry but not with you."

"Ah," Daniel said.

Vala, who had been suspiciously quiet until now, made a laughing sound and said, "Oh let me guess who she _is_ angry with! Would it be, ummm,maybe, perhaps…me?"

Daniel clenched his teeth, still too furious himself to speak to Vala. It was Teal'c who rumbled a reply.

"You would do well to give Jillian Jackson respect, Vala Mal Doran. She has been trained in several deadly martial arts."

Vala arched her eyebrows and managed to look unimpressed. "Really?" She said, dismissively, "and who trained her?"

"I did," Teal'c replied.

"And you are?"

The Jaffa turned slowly, with the grace and economy of movement that was the hallmark of the trained and experienced warrior.

"Teal'c of Chulak. The former First Prime of Apophis."

Daniel blinked again. He had never heard Teal'c embrace that title, or introduce himself in such a manner. But one look at Vala – the former host of a Goa'uld, and who knew for how long or what history there might be between Apophis and Qatesh – and Daniel knew the name had memory for her; and that memory had impact. Teal'c had used the title on purpose, to strike fear.

It had worked. Vala, at least for the moment, was speechless, wide eyed and staring with her lips slightly parted. She lifted her eyes to the shining gold tattoo on Teal'c's forehead – as if she was just now noticing it - and swallowed.

Daniel shot Teal'c a grateful look. The Jaffa replied with a slight inclination of his head. Daniel doubted that Vala's subdued attitude would last very long but it was a welcome respite; and it was nice to know she respected at least one of them.

It was while Vala was struggling to regain her emotional balance that Jillian arrived in their room. She hesitated in the doorway, hovering for a moment. Daniel looked at her a little desperately, not knowing if her hesitation was relief or if she was taking a moment to get her temper under control.

"_Jillian_," he said, with the last breath he had in his lungs.

The sounds of his voice spurred her to come forward. He sat up and reached for her and was deeply grateful when she walked without hesitation into his arms. He pressed his face into her hair.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry-"

"You didn't do anything-"

"I know, but-"

"We'll talk about it later. When we're alone."

Daniel sat back, moved to take her by the arms, his hands tight.

"Is that bad?"

She smiled – _smiled_ - and stroked her hand over his jaw.

"I'll just let you talk. I imagine you have some serious venting to do."

"You better believe that," he said, gazing at her in a kind of awestruck wonder.

"Jill –" He began.

"What is it we say in science, Daniel," she interrupted, "when a hypothesis doesn't work out quite the way we thought?"

"It is what it is," he responded; and understood what she was saying. None of this had really been in their control. Not from the moment Vala had slapped the bracelet on his wrist.

He gazed into her eyes for a moment and tried to tell her without words everything he was thinking. For a moment he truly believed that they had weathered this and everything would be all right and then Vala spoke up,

"I take it this is your wife?"

Jillian was still looking at Daniel. But her eyes narrowed and he watched the firestorm grow. She straightened up and turned slowly to face the other bed.

"Oh I was soooo hoping I would never have to say this," Daniel began, "But, Jillian Jackson, this is Vala Mal Doran."

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as the two women eyed each other. Vala had clearly recovered from finding out exactly who Teal'c was. She had a look on her face like a cat watching a flock of birds, weighing, measuring, looking for weaknesses.

And Jillian…. Jillian in a mood was disquieting enough. Pushed to defend someone she loved – pushed to defend _him_…..

Daniel felt a chill twist up his spine. He wrapped strong fingers around Jillian's forearm. His mouth set in a grim line. His forehead furrowed. Jillian was quivering though it wasn't obvious just by looking at her. It was suddenly very apparent who she was angry with. Daniel knew that Vala was driven by self-preservation and he had been there too many times himself not to have some sympathy for that. An orphaned child in the system quickly learned to do whatever it took to survive.

But Jillian – even filled with this kind of anger – was driven by love and he knew how much stronger that could be.

A wise man would run from Jillian in this mood. But he couldn't afford to do that.

"Jill –"

She ignored him, still looking at Vala with burning green eyes.

"Can you get this bracelet off my husband's wrist?"

"Well it's nice to meet you too," Vala snipped.

"No, it isn't," Jillian said and then insisted, "Can you get this thing off?"

"Well, I'm, oh…..," Vala paused and looked up as if she was calculating, "ninety five percent sure."

"Then I suggest that you do so. Now," the lack of any kind of emotion, any kind of _heat_, was unnerving. Now Daniel thought he understood what she meant she said he was frightening when he was mad.

Vala made a sound between a laugh and a dismissive scoff. "Or what? You'll _make_ me? You can't hurt me without hurting him."

"From what I've researched, injuries don't count, only separation. How about if we test that?"

Jillian tried to step forward. Daniel's hand tightened around her arm. Teal'c took half a step to block her physically if needed.

"Jillian," Daniel said sharply.

She stayed locked in a staring contest with Vala, getting angrier when Vala seemed to just sit there with a smug look on her face.

"Jillian!" Daniel said, hauling her back and hoping he wasn't leaving fingermarks on her arm. "_Recuerde nuestro hijo. Cálmate por favor."_

Some of the resistance went out of her. She glared at Vala for a moment longer and then turned back him.

"_La mataré, lo juro," _she said, making Daniel wish he had picked a slightly less passionate language.

He pulled her closer to him. "No," he said, softly, "_no lo hare_. We will fix this. I promise."

Jillian didn't get to say anything because Dr. Bennett came into the room then, looking harried and sleep-deprived. Hard on his heels was Cameron Mitchell with an armful of khaki BDUs.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Jackson," Dr. Bennett said. "I was in surgery. SG12 managed to run into some trouble with the natives on PX3-765 and I had to pull an arrow out of McKenzie."

Daniel blinked. Mitchell frowned and asked, "Is he all right?"

"He is now," Dr. Bennett said.

After a cursory examination and a brief but spirited debate about Daniel staying for further observation versus his extreme desire to go back to his own room, Daniel was released.

He vanished behind a curtain to change. Mitchell unstrapped Vala from the restraints on the bed. She gave Cam a saucy toss of her head and a wide suggestive smile as he did. He tossed another set of BDUs at her head.

"Get dressed," he told her, "You've got a room down the hall from his."

"Can we get undressed when we get there?" She asked with a flirty wiggle.

Mitchell stepped back and flung the curtain closed. He happened to glance at Jillian as he did.

There was still something close to murder in her eyes. He handed Jillian a walkie-talkie. She looked back at him blankly.

"You watch him. I'll watch her. We stay in touch."

"All right," she answered taking the walkie.

Daniel came out from behind the curtain carrying his boots.

"Come on," he told Jillian, "You need to be in bed."

She nodded in a resigned kind of way, slipping her arm around his waist. "Yeah," she said, softly, "I really do."

(0)

Recuerde nuestro hijo. Cálmate por favor – Remember our son. Please calm down

La mataré, lo juro- I'll kill her, I swear

No lo hare – no you won't


	192. Chapter 192

**This will pick up just after Daniel figures out** **the tablet but before the presentation to Landry. **

**(0)**

"See?" Mitchell said, triumphantly, "_that_ is what I'm talking about!"

He was prevented from explaining the importance of all this to the puzzled-looking Teal'c and Vala when Jillian's voice spoke over the radio he had clipped to his belt.

"_Cameron_?"

He took the radio in his hand and said, "Go for Cameron."

"_Is Daniel with you?"_

"He's right here."

Cam started to say more but Daniel plucked the radio out of his hand with an annoyed look.

"Jill?"

"_Daniel?"_

"Yes, are you alright?"

"_Yes, I just woke up. Did you ever come to bed?"_

Daniel glanced at the clock and realized it was seven in the morning. He had worked through the night. He hesitated before clicking the walkie to 'talk'.

"Uhhh, yeah, I guess I did. But we figured out the tablet and what it leads to."

He waited, biting his lip, for her to answer.

"_You did?"_ she asked.

Warmth flooded him. A smile tugged at his mouth. She sounded excited. "_Do you want to get some breakfast and you can tell me about it_?"

"Yeah, that sounds great." He paused to give Cameron a questioning look, jerking his head towards Vala.

"Well, I'm certainly starving," Vala said, emphatically, "so I'd love some breakfast," she stopped and then added, drily, "unless you let prisoners go hungry on this planet."

Daniel held Cam's eyes meaningfully.

"We'll sit across the room," Cameron promised, "I'm kind of hungry myself."

Daniel clicked the radio again. "I'll come get you."

"_Roger that."_

"Jill?"

"_Yes?"_

"Te adoro."

There was another pause and then her husky voice answered, "_Sí, yo también te quiero. Jillian out."_

Daniel stared at the radio for a moment. He stifled a yawn and felt his stomach rumble at the same time.

"I'm not sure we should get three floors apart," Daniel said, more to Cam than anyone else and meaning 'me and Vala' when he said 'we.'

"I'll take care of it," Cam said.

Teal'c added his assurance, "As will I."

Vala rolled her eyes for a moment and then affected another flippant smile. "Well," she said, "Don't _I_ feel all watched over and protected."

(0)

They followed Daniel to level twenty five, where they split up so that Cam and Teal'c could take Vala to the room that had been prepared for her at the end of the hall from his. He opened his door to find Jillian sitting on the bed, starting to put her shoes on. For a moment they just looked at each other across the short distance separating them and then Daniel walked up to her. Sitting down beside her, he reached out and stroked her hair. Then he kissed her forehead in a gentle, restrained kiss that made no demands.

"Myrddin," he said, softly.

Jillian leaned back so she could look into his eyes. "As in King Arthur, Knights of the Round Table?"

Daniel started to smile. His eyes were suddenly full of love. Confused Jillian went on, "Myrddin Wyllt, Merlinus Caledonensis or Merlin Sylvestris; possibly the basis for a Welsh legend of a man named Lailoken. He…."

Then she couldn't speak anymore because Daniel sealed his mouth over hers in a deep, possessive kiss. He stopped just before she was going to have to pull away for a much need breath. Laughing he pressed her over backwards on the bed, leaned over and stared down into her eyes. He gathered her into his arms, one around her shoulders, the other carefully and protectively draped over her hips.

"What?" She asked, laughing because he was.

"I just needed to say that to someone who knew what the hell I was talking about," he said, "I really do love you."

Jillian's eyes narrowed. "The tablet references Merlin the Magician from King Arthur's court?"

"Yes," Daniel said, enjoying her confusion and the spark of curiosity lighting in the green cat's eyes gazing back at him.

"All right, you can explain that over breakfast," she said, "But are you telling me that you called him Myrddin and were shocked when no one knew who that was?"

"Well not shocked," he said, grinning, "I was in the presence of two aliens at the time. No chance they were heard of him, not by that name."

"So you decided to be an arrogant prick to Mitchell?" There was just enough amusement in her eyes for him to know she wasn't the least surprised.

"Yeah, pretty much," he answered. His expression was smug and mischievous.

She took his face between her hands, stroked her thumbs over his beard and offered him another kiss.

"You should be so mad about all this," he said, when they were done. He rubbed his nose against hers, then his cheek.

"Atlantis is your dream. Mine is to be wherever you are. I just need you to be safe again; then we'll talk about Atlantis."

"I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed, Jillian," he wrinkled his brow for a moment, "Or maybe it's that ship has launched. But whichever, I doubt we're going to Atlantis for a long, long time now."

"The Daedalus will back and it will eventually have to make another trip back to Atlantis," Jillian pointed out.

"Yes, it does go back and you will be almost 28 weeks pregnant when it does. We're not even going to entertain that possibly."

"But…."

"No, Jillian." He stated it, firmly, shaking his head. "We're going to do one thing at a time; and right now what we have to do is find whatever this tablet leads to and get this bracelet off of me."

"The bracelet doesn't depend on finding the treasure. Only Vala's cooperation depends on that."

"Do you have a better idea?"

Jillian pushed up on her elbows. Her smile was sweetly cold. "I say we take her back to the house with us, lock her in a closet with food and water and wait until _boredom_ compels her to _take that thing off of you_."

Daniel took a slow deep breath. "I understand how you feel…."

"No! You don't!" Jillian said, fiercely.

Daniel sat up so that he was towering over her. "Yes, I do! If this thing was on your wrist I would be out of my mind."

"Well I'm a little out of my mind, too!" Jillian said, "I'm just trying to stay calm and remember how much I trust you. It helps that Teal'c is here and even Mitchell."

"Mitchell?"

Jillian nodded. "He's got a crush on you."

Daniel looked stunned for a moment. "What?"

"Not like that," Jillian said, shaking her head dismissively, "He's crushing on all of SG1 and the idea of getting it back together with the original members. Losing you just isn't on his agenda. But I do trust you, Daniel. So for now I'm willing to go along with whatever you feel we should do about this."

"Then I think we can settle it peacefully. We're all motivated to find whatever this is."

"And when we do?"

"Then we'll pay her off and send her on her way."

"_Again?"_

"Why not?"

Jillian searched his face as if she was looking for answers to questions she could barely articulate. Then she took a deep breath and waded fearlessly into the problem.

"She's recklessly endangered your life, _again!_ She still just gets away with that?"

Daniel looked uncomfortable. Jillian got up and started to pace. "I don't understand, Daniel. This person put my life at risk, Hammond's life at risk and every member of the Prometheus crew. Now she's here interfering with our lives and she still gets a pass from you. If anyone else did all this you'd want to tear her apart with your bare hands and scatter the pieces to the four winds. But Vala seems to be made out of Teflon for you. Why are you letting her get away with all this?"

Daniel stood up. "It isn't because I'm attracted to her, if that's what you're worried about."

Jillian shook her head in irritation. "That didn't even occur to me; and I don't _care _about that," she paused, sighed. Then began again with measured patience, "Daniel, no one can stay married as long as I intend to be married to you without eventually running into someone – somewhere – that he or she is attracted to, even wonders if love might have been possible if things had been different. We've seen too many quantum realities not to know that. If some universe you and I never met. In some universe you're still with Sha're. You might have really bad eyesight but you're not blind. You can look at other women all you want and I don't care in the least as long as you come home to me; and there is no doubt in my heart _at all_ that you'll come home having looked but not touched. I _trust_ you. There's never going to be anyone for me but you and I know you feel the same way about me. So I'm not even putting any feelings you might have for her into this puzzle. I just don't know why….."

Jillian broke off abruptly. Daniel tensed.

"What?"

She turned and speared him with frank, dark green eyes.

"She was the host of a Goa'uld," she said, bluntly. Daniel didn't respond but his insides clenched and she saw it in his eyes. "I'm right, aren't I? She was taken against her will as a host by the one enemy you cannot forgive; and that throws her permanently into your sympathy column. If she's done what she had to do to survive after that, then you're even willing to be her victim."

Daniel's heart beat heavily. He knew that no denial he could ever make would convince her; nor would denial be the truth. He had an obsessive need to help anyone who had lived the hell of being a host. His wife knew him too well. It had only been the current distractions that had prevented her from seeing it earlier.

He lowered his chin and looked at her over the top of his glasses.

"Jill –"

"It's all right."

"What?" He stopped, blinking.

Jillian stopped him. Her voice was flat, firm and almost emotionless. "I know now that you're attempting to redeem someone you think is the way she is because of her experience as a Goa'uld. I think the endeavor may be doomed to failure but I understand your reasons and that's all that matters."

"Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"You should be," he answered, "Nothing should be more important to me right now than you. Nothing should ever be more important than you!"

"Is she? More important?"

"No!"

"Then I don't see the problem."

"You're sure?"

"None."

Daniel took a long time to just look at her and let out a slow relieved breath. Then he smiled a little and quoted, "_The luster of my beautiful wife is brighter than the stars of heaven and the influence of her power is in vain to resist_."

"The Pharaoh Akhenaten," Jillian said just as Daniel had known she would

"His wife could not possibly have been more loved than mine," Daniel said, "and you're right. It doesn't matter who else we look at or who looks at us. We'll never have with anyone else what we have with each other."

Daniel stepped forward to take her in his arms. His heart ached with the emotions flooding him – pain, joy, and a degree of love he had never known existed. It beat so hard he could feel it against his ribs.

She smiled at him. "Are you going to let me stand here and be hungry for much longer or are you taking me to breakfast?"

"We'll get breakfast," he murmured into her ear, kissing and then licking the soft skin below it, "and then we'll come back here."

"Do we have more to talk about?" She asked, shivering a little at his touch.

"Oh, no," Daniel said, "I doubt we're going to do much talking at all."

(0)


	193. Chapter 193

Daniel woke up disoriented. He had no idea where he was at first, or what time it was. It took a while for the ceiling and walls to resolve, the artwork over the bed was blurry without his glasses. With his glasses off, the images in the smaller frames on the nightstand were out of focus.

The gray walls and ceiling could only belong to one place. The only background noise was the hum of a computer, the tapping of keys and the clicking of a mouse.

He rolled over and reached for the distorted outline on the nightstand that he knew was his glasses. His watch lay entwined with Jillian's beside them.

The bed seemed rumpled, the quilt kicked nearly onto the floor. There was a sheet twisted between his legs and up over his hip. The pillow beside him was rich with her familiar scent, faintly deserty with a hint of island flowers. He was naked except for the strap of metal around his wrist. Daniel closed his eyes and he could still feel the texture of her skin on his, her beloved body around his, still feel her tight, welcoming heat. He let out a low groan as the memory of love making went through him so intensely that his body throbbed and he got aroused again, immediately, just from lying in their bed and remembering where he was and what had happened just before he fell asleep.

He opened his eyes again and sat up. Jillian was seated at the desk, turned sideways, no doubt so that she could work and keep an eye on him.

"What time is it?" He asked.

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon. You're going to trash your circadian rhythm, Jackson," she answered.

"Eight years off world and living underground has pretty much done that. What happened?"

Jillian turned all the way around, took off her reading glasses and studied him for a moment.

"If you tell me you don't remember making love before passing out cold, I _will_ kick your perfect ass," she said.

"No, that I remember," he answered, and then amended quickly, "the love making not the passing out." He rose up on his elbow and gave a puzzled look. "Did I really pass out?

"Almost immediately," she said, though she didn't sound angry. In fact she sounded sympathetic when she added, "You were up all night."

"Yeah," he replied in a slow drawl, then grinned a little wickedly, "But usually when you say that it means something completely different."

"Daniel!" She turned his name into a laugh.

He gave a little shrug in that way he had of looking contrite and also kind of not at the same time. Then he got out of bed. He didn't miss the way her eyes swept over him, or the way she ducked her head and looked away.

She was in a grey, ribbed knit tank shirt and a pair of loose dark blue sweatpants. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, leaving the lovely column of her neck exposed. Tendrils of loose hair lay against her skin.

_If you could only see what I see when I look at you, _he thought.

He walked over to her and leaned down to press a kiss against the skin between her collar and hairline.

"What are you working on?" he asked.

"I made a power point presentation for you to show Landry, for when you ask permission to go to Glastonbury Tor. If you stick with the script his eyes shouldn't glass over too quickly."

Daniel stood straight up and blinked. "You did?"

"I thought it might help. Just don't run off on any tangents and it should explain things in a way even the 'aliens' will understand."

Daniel skimmed the page open in front of him. "Yeah," he said, contemplating, "this is good. This will help."

He kissed the side of her head again. "Thank you."

She smiled and clicked save.

"I'm also going to call Sam. If there's going to be technology involved I'd just as soon have her along."

"That will certainly fulfill all of Mitchell's SG1 fantasies, having you and Sam and Teal'c in on this."

"If she can make it," Daniel said.

"What do you mean?"

"The last time we talked she was thinking about heading to South Carolina for a visit to Cassie."

"Cassie will like that, though it will break Cameron's heart if he can't have all three of you. This has him pretty excited. He's been on the radio every fifteen minutes for the last two hours wanting to know if you were awake and ready to explain all this in detail so you can go to Landry with a plan. He woke me up."

The moment Jillian said it, she regretted it.

"He woke you up?" The question seemed innocent enough, except for the chilled tone in which it was said. Looking up, Jillian saw the ice cold blue eyes that matched the tone.

"Yes," she admitted, "I heard the radio and I was worried that he was moving Vala out of her room. So I answered it."

"So he woke you up and made you worried?" Razor sharp. Ouch.

Daniel looked over his shoulder at the door as if he was considering tracking Mitchell down even before getting dressed. Jillian stood up and put her hand on his arm.

"I could have gone back to sleep, Daniel," she said, quickly. "It wasn't like I had to get up just because he woke me. He just wanted to know if you were awake yet. _Daniel._"

Jillian sagged against him so suddenly that he wrapped both arms around her to keep her on her feet.

"Jill?" Anger faded into worry, focused entirely on her.

"I'm all right. I just want you to stay. It's a little distracting talking about all of this when you're wearing nothing but your glasses." _Sound aroused, _she thought,_ not desperate. He won't believe you for a moment if you seem desperate._

"I thought you liked it when I wore just my glasses," he said, tightening his arms.

"I didn't say it I didn't like it. I said it's distracting." She said it warmly, adoringly. Her hands went up to cup his face, palms feasting on the brush of beard. "Mitchell has waited this long. He can wait a little longer. Then I promise you can give him whatever verbal lashing you want before we talk about what we're going to present to Landry."

"We?"

"You're not going to keep me from at least talking about how to find a treasure associated with Arthur and Merlin!" She said. "I grew up in England, Daniel. It's practically a religion there."

She slipped her arms under his, around his waist and put her hands against his back. Sweet tingling heat spread from her touch, down through his skin to muscle and bone, warming, arousing. If he wanted to argue with her, it wasn't going to be now and it wasn't going to be about that.

He eased back enough to brush his cheek over hers.

"You're wearing too many clothes," he said, tracing her ear with his tongue, nipping the lobe a little, "You look damned sexy in them but there's still too many."

"We need to…. _Oh_…. Talk about the presentation," then she stopped to gasp as he licked the pulse beating in her throat.

"We will," he promised, "in an hour…"

Jillian wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed closer. Her hands trailed up and down the column of his spine.

"Two," he promised, "in two hours we'll talk about anything you want." He dammed anything she might have said in reply with a long sinking kiss.

Mouth sealed to his, Jillian let go of him long enough to unhook the radio on her belt, switch it off and toss it, forgotten, onto the desk.

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	194. Chapter 194

Jillian had to pause for a moment before crossing the threshold of Daniel's office. She was overcome for a just a heartbeat, enough for it to skip, with love and a kind of affectionate exasperation. The room was scattered with opened boxes. The table was already cluttered with paper and scrolls and books. His face was lit by the glow of the computer screen.

Daniel was on the phone, ending a conversation.

"No, it's fine. I'd be going if I could….. I'll tell Jillian….No, I'll call her…. Yeah… Did you tell Jack?... He's meeting you there?... Good…. No, don't worry about it…. Yeah, I love you too…. Yeah. Bye."

He dropped the receiver back into the cradle and looked up at Jillian.

"How was your nap?" he asked.

"It was fine. I feel fine," Jillian came into the room, "Where is she?"

'She' could only mean Vala, especially the way Jillian said it. There was a spark of emerald fire in her eyes. In spite of the heat, it made Daniel shiver a little.

He had grappled with Vala and he was still unsure if she had been holding back as much as he had been. He had very vivid memory of Jillian efficiently and viciously putting Neith on her ass just for pointing a staff weapon at him and making a veiled threat. In a head to head confrontation between Jillian and Vala he was pretty sure Jill would come out on top.

He didn't want to see that happen. He just had a feeling that her condition was the only thing holding Jillian back.

"Right down the hall, in the lab with Mitchell and Bill," he said, trying to sound reassuring and not placating. "They're taking another look at the bracelet."

"I thought she said she could get it off."

Daniel shrugged in another attempt to downplay the situation. "If we can get it off, it gives us more leverage over her. It can't hurt to try. Besides, I told Cam to get her out of here before I started screaming."

Jillian nodded. "Was that Sam?" Now she sounded more anxious than annoyed, with a small undercurrent of hope.

"Yes," Daniel said, slowly.

"Is she coming?"

"No," this time he spoke abruptly, as if he was pulling off a bandaid.

"But your life is in danger! I can't believe Sam wouldn't come in an instant!"

"She would," Daniel acknowledged.

Jillian's eyes narrowed. "You didn't tell her."

"No, I didn't," he admitted.

"Why?"

"Because of Cassie."

That brought Jillian up short. She blinked, stared at him. "What's wrong with Cassie?"

"Her grandmother is in the hospital again and not doing well. Sam's flying out to be with her. Jack is too."

Jillian sighed. "Poor kid. She just lost Janet."

"We all just lost Janet," Daniel said.

"Do you think it will always feel that way?" Jillian asked, sadly.

"Yeah," Daniel said. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes and the bridge of his nose.

Jillian understood that he was getting misty-eyed and possibly trying to hide it. He'd never stop blaming himself for Janet's death, even though he couldn't have stopped it. He had been there. In his mind he should have been able to do something.

"Are your glasses bothering you again?" she asked, offering the distraction she knew he needed.

"You'd think brand new glasses would fit right," he said in a grouchy tone.

Jillian's mouth tipped in a wry smile. "It would have helped if your optician had been concentrating on making sure your glasses fit and not staring at you."

"Was she?"

"You really don't get how gorgeous you are, do you?"

She had the pleasure of watching him turn a deep shade of scarlet but decided to let him off the hook.

"When are you leaving?"

"What makes you so sure I am?"

"You did the presentation to Landry."

"Yes."

"Did you stick with the way I scripted it?"

He looked hesitant and then said, "Pretty much."

Jillian smiled. She wondered how many people knew the slide shows were never for their benefit. They were to keep Daniel focused, so his frantic brain didn't go chasing off on tangents his mouth couldn't begin to keep up with.

_Jack,_ she thought, _Jack knew_;_ and all those years he didn't say anything. _She suddenly missed him more than she would have thought possible. With Daniel being threatened, she wanted his old team here. All of them.

She shook her head slightly and then went on,

"You don't look at all anxious or agitated, which you would be if you hadn't gotten the answer you wanted. So I'm assuming there is some small hurdle to clear and then you'll be beamed out of here."

"Landry is contacting the British Prime Minister," Daniel admitted, "It's too bad your Dad is off world. I know he has a good relationship with him."

Jillian nodded, perching lightly on the stool by the work table and wondering how in the world he had known exactly where to find his copy of _Historia Regum Britanniae_ in all the boxes they had packed over the last few weeks. Though not one of the originals from the twelfth century, the manuscript was still priceless and should be in a museum. But Daniel wouldn't part with it. Jillian thought she understood. He had told her once about his life in foster care, about putting the few things he owned into a large black plastic bag every time he moved – as if everything he owned was little better than garbage. It explained his need for clutter and for things he knew had value. It explained the careful way he had packed each thing into meticulous boxes.

"Jillian?"

"Hmm?"

"Why aren't you asking me if you can go? I know you want to."

"I do," she said, slowly, "and I don't."

His eyebrows went up. "You don't."

"You're going on a treasure hunt, Daniel. Every treasure I could ever want is right here in this room with me, right now. You, the baby," she paused and held up her left hand, the one that held his ring on the third finger, "This. I have no doubt that, you being you, whatever you find is going to be extraordinary. I also have no doubt that I will eventually get to see it all, possibly even work on cataloguing it with you; and then we'd get to go home to our wonderful son. That isn't something I'm going to put at risk."

Daniel stared at her with eyes that misted over and this time he didn't try to hide it. He motioned for her to come to him.

"Come here," he said, softly.

She hopped down off the stool and went to sit in his lap.

"I don't even know what to say to that," he said.

Jillian laughed a little and draped her arms around his neck. It took so much to make her beautifully articulate husband speechless.

"I love you. I loved you before I met you. I loved you the first moment we met and I have loved you every day since," she leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the lips. "Go be my hero again. It's what you do best. Just be careful."

Instead of an answer he pulled her head down to rest on his shoulders and pressed his face into her hair. Each soft breathe exhaled was a promise that he would come back, that he would return to her again.

And again and again if necessary.

Always.

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	195. Chapter 195

**Missing scenes Avalon part 2 – first part is after they find the treasures in the cave. Second is just after they return to the Base.**

**(0)**

"Good grief," Jillian muttered, turning the page in the paperback and scanning the next paragraph, "What kind of moron leaves a body in the garden shed of his house?"

"A body?" Said a voice from the doorway.

Most people hovered in the door of Daniel's office, even when he wasn't there. There was something hallowed about it. Scott Lawrence, Jillian knew, had never been one of those people especially when Daniel wasn't there.

She was sitting at Daniel's desk, not working but reading the mystery novel she had picked up in the commissary on the book exchange shelf. She set it aside and smiled at him.

"What's up_, dìdì_?" she asked.

Her team – father, uncle, brother; or so she had always thought of them, with no disrespect at all towards her own father. She had come to the team adrift, with barely a possession to her name and no family that she considered close.

She had grown close to Gerald Mallory in the days and years before she had reconciled with Alexander North. She would never stop thinking of him as her adopted father, not when she thought back to the ways in which Mal had nurtured her, accepted her without question on his team – first because he had been ordered to, and later because he had learned her worth.

Rusty Davidson – the buffer somehow between her and the military, even though he was Air Force born and bred. The clown sometimes, prone to relentless practical jokes usually at Scotty's expense; but with a red-headed temper to match her own.

This was Scotty – _dìdì, _little brother. She had watched him go from a fearless, reckless Airman to a seasoned – and still a little reckless – Major. She had no doubt he would be leading his own SG team in the next two years.

She missed them all desperately, missed going off world, missed campfires and their presence.

"I heard Daniel and Mitchell and Teal'c are all right?" Scotty said, without preamble, bounding into the room and landing on the lab stool at the table.

"Yes, I spoke to him on the Prometheus," Jillian said. Her smile turned affectionate. Scotty was also the only one who didn't ask her how she felt every time he saw her. When she had pointed that out to him he had shrugged and said he trusted her to be smart enough to tell someone if something was wrong. He'd gotten a hug and a kiss on the cheek for it.

"I also heard they found something amazing in England," he said, giving her a pointed look.

Jillian wrinkled her nose

"Yes, but they won't say what," she answered.

"Not even to you?"

"No," she groaned, shaking her head.

"It's driving you nuts," Scotty said.

"Yep," she acknowledged.

Scotty looked disappointed, as if he had been certain Jillian would know what the facts behind the rumors. There was a pause and then he seemed to mentally shrug.

"So what body?" He asked again.

Jillian waved a hand in the general direction of the book she had been reading. "It's a murder mystery; but how smart can the killer be if leaves the body in the basement of his own house?"

"They tell you the killer did that?" Scotty asked, puzzled.

"No, but I know who the killer is and the body is in his garden shed."

"You figured it out already?

"Yes," Jillian said.

"By what page?"

"Forty, why?"

"Damn," Scotty sighed.

"What?"

"SG8 had a pool – how long would it take you to figure it out. I said before page fifty. That means Rusty wins again. He said before page forty five."

Jillian blinked at him. "You had a pool about my ability to solve a mystery novel?"

Scotty nodded. "Since we saw you walk out of the commissary with it. I owe Rusty a pizza and a six pack! You couldn't have held out for ten more pages?"

A blush stained her cheeks and she gave him a slightly embarrassed grin.

"Well, _sorry_," Jillian said, without a trace of apology but with genuine humor, "But, _wao de cao_, it's the man's _gardener_ and his body is in the garden shed and there's blood on a pair of garden shears and could that be a _clue?"_

Scotty snorted out a laugh. "Well skip to the end and find out if you're right. But I'm going to wait to tell the Colonel and Rusty."

"No, I'm done with it. I was trying to find something to read that wouldn't make me cry like a broken faucet but this is just too much."

"At least it made you laugh," Scotty pointed out. Before she could answer he said, "Hey, now that you know Daniel is all right, how do you feel about getting out from under the mountain for a bit?"

"What did you have in mind?" She asked, sitting up, intrigued.

"I need your help with something," he answered, hedging.

"What?"

He hopped off the stool. "Come on. I'll tell you on the way."

(0)

(0)

Daniel walked out of the elevator, talking and waving his hands. Mitchell was getting used to that. He thought he knew Jackson from having read all the mission reports Daniel had written with all the efficiency of any thesis. But in person Jackson was far more dynamic, far more _immediate_ than Mitchel could ever have prepared for. He was still expounding on the device they had discovered, still certain it was a way of communicating. Mitchell was taking that with a grain of salt. Daniel thought everything was about communicating.

Cameron was also convinced that Daniel wasn't paying complete attention to what he was saying and didn't seem to even care if anyone was listening to him. He was certainly oblivious to the people who greeted them. His eyes were scanning back and forth, looking anxiously down the hall in front of them, walking around corners as if he expected to see someone at any moment.

No, not 'someone' – Jillian. They turned the corner that would take them to Landry's office and Mitchell stopped cold. Teal'c stopped with him. Vala ran into him. Daniel outstripped him by a few steps, stammered to a verbal halt and looked at him sideways in question.

"Call her," Mitchell said, looking straight at Daniel.

Daniel's expression changed to a frown.

"Your wife," Cam insisted. "You won't have your head in the game until you find out where she is. She didn't meet you and even I know that's weird. So call her."

Daniel hesitated, then reached into his back pocket for his cell phone and moved a short way down the hall. After a moment, Mitchell heard him say,

"Jill? …. Yeah, it's me. I'm back on the Base…. Yes, I'm fine. Where are you?... Why are you in a jewelry store with Scotty? ….. He does?... Okay…. No it's fine….. Yes, I'm sure it's a very pretty bracelet….. I do know amethyst is your birthstone."

Daniel paused for a long time. The tension had run out of his shoulders. He was fighting a smile and there was laughter in his voice. Affection. Dry amusement. Eternal Love. It was all there in Daniel's voice.

"What did I find?" He went on. "You'll just have to come back to the Base and see….. Yes, it's amazing. I told you that already…. No, I'm not going to tell you anymore right now….." Now Daniel did smile. "I love you too….Yeah….See you soon."

He shut off the phone and put it back in his pocket.

Mitchell glanced at Teal'c. The big Jaffa looked vaguely amused. A glance at Vala showed her taking everything in, missing nothing. She was looking at Daniel like a meal she wanted to consume.

Cameron kind of wished she'd look at him like that. Vala Mal Doran was the second alien he had met – after his visit to the Jaffa of Chulak. He couldn't help the attraction. She was driving him a little crazy and he still couldn't quite keep himself from flirting with her.

And Jackson's attitude towards Vala was baffling. He seemed to obviously want nothing to do with her while wanting to protect her at the same time. A weird combination of not wanting Vala to suffer any prosecution for her crimes mixed with a sincere desire to pretend she didn't exist. So far Daniel had gotten only half of what he wanted and it was mostly because he was _that_ Dr. Daniel Jackson and he'd given his life a half a dozen times to save the world. Dr. Daniel _freaking_ Jackson got what he wanted, even if it was a direct line to his wife from the Prometheus while in geosynchronous orbit over London – just to say he was okay. If Daniel decided to push the part about 'not having anything to do with Vala' Mitchell had no doubt that he'd get it.

And for some reason Mitchell didn't want that to happen. 'Not having anything to do with Vala' would no doubt amount to sending her back through the Stargate, never to be seen again.

Cameron had a small bell in the back of his head that chimed urgently when he was about to do something reckless or dangerous. He always ignored it.

It chimed a little urgently every time he looked at Vala.

All of this went through his mind in the small space of time he took to turn from Vala to Daniel.

"You feel better now?" Mitchell asked him.

"Yeah," Daniel said, with a noncommittal shrug of his shoulders.

"Then we should find General Landry," Mitchell urged, "as soon as possible."

(0)


	196. Chapter 196

**Jillian and Scotty finally return to the Base to find Daniel already connected to the Ancient Device….**

**(0)**

Arms folded tightly across her waist, Jillian gazed down from the window above the Isolation Room at Daniel's unmoving form.

"I hate the Isolation Rooms," she said softly. "Daniel died in one. From what you just told me he almost died in this one."

Cameron wasn't sure what to do. He was still pretty shaken up by what had happened. One moment he had been lusting after a sexy, enigmatic alien woman and the next he had been stunned by her death and wondering if they was about to lose Daniel Jackson too.

And in the moment after that everyone was trying to understand why Vala was alive again and seemingly fine, except that they still couldn't get her to wake up.

Cam glanced at Scott Lawrence but Scotty was standing perfectly still, staring at Jillian anxiously. Jillian was standing still. Only the steady and concentrated rise and fall of her shoulders showed that she wasn't frozen. She seemed to be fighting to breathe, fighting to stay alive. The air around her seemed unsettled and brittle.

Cam spoke cautiously.

"A lot of people have been saved in these rooms, too."

Jillian glanced over her shoulder and he was pinned as effectively as a butterfly to a board by the look in her green eyes. It was like staring into a haunted forest, with ghosts in the shadows. This woman had known loss; extreme, relentless and tangible loss. Those wide, incredible eyes were filled with anguish and a heart that was teetering once again on breaking.

Cam swallowed tightly at the sudden dryness in his throat. He bit down on his tongue to keep from saying something that might be incredibly stupid. The look in her eyes told him she'd see between every platitude, read between every polite and politically correct line.

Cameron had insisted on being the one to tell Jillian what had happened. She had remained calm, though she had also gotten very pale. Cameron had been very glad that Scotty was with them. She had asked for Teal'c and only nodded once when she had been told Teal'c had been needed on Chulak and had left while Daniel's condition was still stable. Then she had asked to see Daniel, insisted on seeing Daniel.

Scott had remained resolutely at her side. Now he walked over, unwrapped her arms from their defensive position and gathered her into a strong hug. Jillian's hands clenched into his forearms.

"It's gonna be okay," he said.

"You don't know that." Her voice was muffled in the fabric of Scotty's black shirt. Her face was buried in the hollow of his shoulder.

"Yeah, I do," he said, "It's Daniel. Whatever is going on, whoever he is talking to, he already managed to save Vala from death."

Scott turned his attention to Cameron, though he didn't let go of Jillian.

"Colonel, has someone tried to find a way to get the bracelet off of Dr. Jackson?"

"She was searched again but we couldn't find a device of any kind," Cameron admitted.

Scott nodded. "Thank you, sir."

"Jillian," Cameron said, gently, having finally worked out that he didn't know what else to call her, "Can I get you something?"

She turned her head and Cam could see the tears trembling on her lashes. One tear slipped free and started down her cheek. She wiped it away impatiently.

The weight of that tear pressed down on Cameron's soul. In his heart and mind he was the leader of SG1 – and SG1 was Daniel, Sam and Teal'c and everything that came with them. He had no doubt that General O'Neill would have done anything possible for Jillian in the current circumstances. He also didn't doubt that the General would have known exactly what she needed.

"No," she said. "Not right now anyway."

"You should sit down," Cam went on. He wasn't sure if Daniel had told Jillian that he knew about the baby. He found himself floundering again, not knowing what to say.

Scott spoke up. "The Colonel's right. Come on. Sit down. You can stay here with Daniel and I'll go find out if we can contact your father somehow. I'll call Colonel Mallory and Rusty, too. Okay?"

Jillian smiled weakly as she sank into the chair like a stone into quicksand.

"That would be good," she admitted.

_See, _Cameron thought, _that's the kind of thing I should have known to do for her. _He had a lot to learn here.

"I'll stay with her, Major," he said, out loud.

"Thank you, sir," Scott said. He offered the Colonel a salute that was not necessary under the circumstances. But Mitchell understood that it was the Major's way of giving him respect for helping with Jillian.

He saluted back in a more casual gesture, acknowledging the unspoken.

Scott leaned over and gave Jillian a kiss on the cheek. "He's going to be fine," he said, certainly.

Then he left the room and Cameron was alone with Jillian. He sat down gingerly in the chair next to her and looked at her anxiously. She was silently crying again.

"I'm sorry," she said, without looking at him. Her eyes were fixed on Daniel. "I don't usually cry."

"Just at sad paperbacks and dog food commercials," Cam said, gently.

She choked out a laugh and he offered her a tissue from the box on the table.

"It's mostly hormones," she admitted, "Daniel told me you know about the baby."

"Yes," Cameron admitted. He felt as if he had intruded on something very sacred and very private. "Sorry if I…."

"No, it's all right," Jillian said, "We weren't going to be able to hide it for much longer anyway. We were going to tell everyone right before leaving for Atlantis, but now this…"

She stopped, inhaled as if it hurt. He'd heard the pain under her words.

"Major Lawrence is right," he said, "It will be okay. I've read enough of reports to know that your husband has an uncanny knack for getting out of things like this."

"My husband has an uncanny knack for getting _into_ things like this," Jillian answered in a voice filled with love and exasperation.

That was hard to argue with.

"You don't have to stay, Cameron," she said, "I imagine you have other duties."

"No, ma'am," he said, sincerely, "nothing more important than this."

He settled back in the chair even though he wanted to pace, to move, to do _something._

Then he realized he _was_ doing something. He was offering Jillian the comfort of his presence, hopefully an anchor until those she knew and loved could arrive.

Until – and if – he could become one of the people Jillian knew and loved, it would have to do.

(0)


	197. Chapter 197

**Daniel wakes up, again. The dialogue between Teal'c, Mitchell and Lee is not mine.**

**(0)**

Jillian had experienced Vala's flat-line like a live wire that ran through the floor and came up into her chest. The agonizing moments after had been counted out in her own heartbeats as she waited for Daniel's monitor to flat-line too.

She had just calmed down, just accepted the tea Mitchell had gotten her after his one hundredth offer, just before he had been called to the Briefing Room when both monitors went crazy. The medical personnel went into immediate action, moving in controlled chaos with grim faces. She heard someone calling a Code Blue Medical emergency over the intercom. But she heard it from very far away, distorted and unreal.

Jillian leaped to her feet. Her heart stopped while Daniel's was still beating madly. A scream rose up inside her and stuck in her throat; a scream full of rage and panic and denial. She was too frozen with fear to give it voice.

Teal'c and Mitchell burst into the room below. Jillian felt a small spark of hope ignite. Teal'c would stop this. If anyone could it was he.

"Same as before, only this time it's both of them," Dr. Lam said, grimly.

Teal'c and Mitchell went straight to the Ancient Device with Bill Lee trying to block them as if he had any chance of preventing trained soldiers from doing what they wanted.

"Now, now ... hold on!" Bill stammered, "This device draws its power directly from subspace. It will react very badly to an explosion. You can't blow it up." He was shaking his finger at them for emphasis.

Teal'c and Mitchell ignored him.

"Perhaps we should send it through the Stargate," Teal'c said.

Mitchell got it immediately. "Genius."

As Jillian stared at Daniel and mutely begged him to come home, Cameron started yanking at cords, disconnecting the Ancient device from the sensors and monitors while Teal'c grimly stood guard. There was no arguing with the look on either man's face but Bill Lee argued anyway.

With a frantic look on his face, Lee moved forward again.

"No!" Bill hollered. "Well, it also uses subspace to communicate to another galaxy across the universe. There's no reason to believe," he had to pause to duck under the device as Teal'c and Mitchell lifted it and carried it away. They looked like they would have knocked him down with it and not even noticed "that Daniel and Vala won't stay connected to it, even from a different planet!"

The two men were already running out of the room with the device between them.

"I have a different idea! Tell them to start dialing the Gate!" Mitchell shouted.

Bewildered, Bill asked, "Where to?"

"Wherever!"

"Wherever?" Bill muttered to himself, "All right, wherever."

Jillian was riveted in place as all this played out in front of her. She was only really aware that Daniel's monitor was still shrieking and Carolyn Lam was leaning over Vala. One of the med techs said,

"Blood pressure is dropping, heart rate is rising ... they're going into shock!"

Scotty came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. Jillian sagged back against him with a broken sob.

"Hang onto me, Jill," he said, softly.

Daniel flat-lined. The controlled chaos in the room got more chaotic. Daniel's shirt was pulled open. Carolyn grabbed the defibrillator and said, "Charging to two hundred. Clear!"

Lam turned towards Daniel. Jillian turned away, into Scotty's arms, sobbing. When the paddles were less than millimeters from Daniel's chest his eyes flew open and he sat up, gasping as if he had just come up from underwater. In the other bed, Vala sat up, looking startled, sucking in air.

When she didn't hear the sound of the defibrillator, just the shocked sounds of the medics reacting to the sudden recovery of their patients, Jillian risked looking back.

"Daniel." It was a frozen whisper.

There was a single stunned moment as she watched Daniel and Vala exchange looks, Vala rubbing her throat as if she'd been strangled. She wrenched out of Scotty's arms and took off out of the room, down the stairs at a speed that would make Daniel very unhappy and into the infirmary room.

"Daniel!"

"Jillian!"

He sat straight up, reaching for her. She sat down on the edge of the bed, her hip wedged against his and gathered him into her arms. He started shaking as her arms closed around him. His own embrace was almost desperate, clutching at her.

"They're dead," he gasped.

"I'm sorry," she answered with no clear idea what he was talking about and no idea how else to reply. She stroked his hair, held him pressed to her shoulder. _I am sorry, leannan, for whoever it was and however you knew them but you __**aren't**__ dead and that's all I care about._

A hard shudder went through Daniel's tall form. His breathing started coming in hard, shallow sobs. His monitor raced and Jillian could feel his heart thundering against his ribs.

"Dr. North," Dr. Lam said, urgently, "We have to get his heart rate down. He's going to put himself back in cardiac arrest."

"Can you give him something?" Jillian asked.

"NO!" Daniel exploded. "no just… don't….."

_Don't take away control…. _She knew him too well not to hear the plea.

"Okay," Jillian said, soothingly. "Okay we won't. But you have to calm down."

Firmly she took Daniel's face between her hands, pushing him back so that she could look into his eyes. His beard was soft under her palms. His eyes were panicked, looking around as if there was something lurking in the shadows before drifting inward to look at memories.

Jillian had never seen him like this, coming down from an adrenaline high and scared out of his mind. She knew that he sometimes had trouble coming back from 'fighting-for-your-life' to 'it's-over-and-we-can-go-home.' The hardest time for her was always when he had just returned and the alien world he had just inhabited was somehow still more real to him than the normal life she had tried so hard to create.

"Daniel," she said, softly, "You have to calm down. You're home, _leannan_. You're scaring me. You're scaring _us._ _Both _of us."

It took him a moment, as if he was still on another plane of existence and had to fight to remember what was happening on this one. He stared into her eyes with his arm around her tight and his other hand gripping her wrist in a way that would probably bruise.

Gradually he began to breathe normally. The frantic beeping of the heart monitor slowed. Daniel let go of her and sank back into the pillows, closing his eyes. He made a low, soft whimper in this throat, the kind of sound a wounded animal made when someone tried to move it. Jillian held his hand and stroked his face. He hated being fussed over almost as much as she did. But he allowed the touch. His hand was clenched around hers.

Teal'c and Mitchell came running back into the room, sliding to a halt when they saw both Daniel and Vala awake and alive. In her peripheral vision she saw Mitchell go to Vala. Teal'c walked over beside Jillian and put his hand on her shoulder.

"I don't know what you did," she said, without looking up, "but thank you."

"The device is destroyed," Teal'c said with no small amount of satisfaction in his tone.

"Good," Jillian said, without a shred of regret.

She glanced to the side and was surprised to see Mitchell holding Vala. She was resting with her face hidden by her hair, her forehead on his collar bone. Jillian thought that she might be seeing a glimpse of the real Vala for the first time since the woman had come through the Gate. She looked away again when her stare started to feel intrusive.

She found herself looking at Carolyn Lam, who was anxiously and critically looking at Daniel's readouts.

"I'd like to take him back to our quarters," She said.

"I think they should stay here for observation, at least for a few hours," Dr. Lam said. "There's still the matter of the bracelets, too."

Jillian look at Vala again and this time the other woman was looking back. Their eyes met in a brief and eloquent conversation.

"I'll take them off," Vala said,

"Thank you," Jillian said, sincerely.

"I need my boots, wherever they got to," Vala said.

"Your boots?" Mitchell repeated.

"There's a hidden compartment on the bottom. The key is in there. You won't be able to open it. It needs my genetic code."

"Or what happens?" Mitchell asked.

"It explodes," Vala said, bluntly.

Daniel rose up on his elbows and speared her with a narrow look.

"It explodes" he repeated, stunned, "Isn't that kind of dangerous?"

Vala's voice was devoid of emotion; her eyes cold and gray.

"It's a dangerous galaxy out there," she said.

The words hung in the air between them. They were still the only ones who knew what they had experienced. What Daniel said next sent a chill spider-crawling down Jillian's spine.

"Yeah," he whispered, oominously, "and it just got a whole lot worse."

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	198. Chapter 198

He wanted to take her home, to her house that she loved, where she could stretch out in their soaking tub or even take a nice long swim in the pool if she wanted. She had been through hell again because of him, at the worst possible time for that kind of stress. He thought he had rarely needed anything so badly and wondered if it was really for her or a little bit for him too.

In a brief moment in the Isolation Room when everyone's attention had been on something besides Daniel, Jillian had asked him, in a hushed tone,

"Are you going to be all right or do we need Jack to help us get out of here for a while?"

He was nearly overcome with gratitude, by how well she understood the SGC and how it worked and what would happen now; and by how well she knew him that she was willing to do everything it took to give him what he needed and screw the rest of the world. It would take a while for the Higher Powers to be satisfied that he was actually Daniel Jackson again; that he hadn't been taken over by something masquerading as him. They weren't going to let him out from under the mountain for a while.

Daniel also knew that if he asked for Jack to pull strings and tap dance a way out of here he was admitting there was a lot more wrong than he was letting anyone see.

"I just want to talk to you, first, before the debrief," he said, softly. "I can probably wrangle that myself."

Jillian nodded. Okay, no Jack then. Not yet. She had no doubt that Daniel could get around any orders that might come down from above – at least initially. He had no hesitation in telling the Brass what to do or how to do it. Jillian had even watched Jack turn and listen – an almost knee-jerk, conditioned response - when Daniel spoke.

She continued to stroke Daniel's face, or arm and or whatever was closest. He was calmer but still wired. She knew he needed to work off the excess tension in the gym and then move slowly through a shower and food, after which would come talking and making love and then sleep.

He wanted to talk to her because it was the best way to sort it all out and figure out how he felt about it. It was the only way to keep it from looping over and over in his head - to talk and keep talking until it was purged.

Until he had drained it of its power to hurt him.

What he said next derailed her thoughts entirely.

"I need you to forgive me."

"Okay-" She said automatically.

"No, Jillian, really –"

"Okay," she repeated. She kept her gaze on him warm and calm, without a hint of the rolling fear coiling up in her heart.

"You don't know what happened!"

"It won't matter!" Jillian said, "I love you. Whatever happened I forgive you. You weren't wrong to try to communicate with something, Daniel; not any more than it was wrong to communicate with the entity from P9C-372. We had killed thousands and we needed to know that."

"The outcome here is different," Daniel said, words wrenching out of him. His eyes bored into hers, pleading.

Jillian took a long breath. Something horrible had happened to Daniel. But she had learned a long time ago that when Daniel was upset with himself, trying to be angry _for_ him only made it worse. She had to wait for the story to play out before she came to any conclusions about how to handle it. In the meantime she was trying to stop her over-analytical mind from filling in the blanks.

She hated the Ancients. She hated them more every time Daniel got involved with them. She firmly believed that the Ancients were not benevolent, not trustworthy and not protecting them in any way shape or form no matter how enamored Daniel was with them. She was afraid of what he was going to tell her now. Whatever the Ancients or this new breed of ancients had done now she suddenly wished desperately that she didn't need to know, couldn't know, wasn't cleared to know.

The last thing Jillian wanted now was something to disagree with Daniel over.

But whatever had happened someone had died. More than one person had died in fact and she would give him anything he needed at the moment – _anything._

She hated that she couldn't protect him from what had already happened. He looked away and leaned back and dug the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. Jillian threaded her fingers into his tousled hair and scrunched them down into his skull.

Daniel could stand anything except being wrong, being less smart than he expected himself to be. His hands dropped again and he looked at her, the clear blue eyes still startling after all these years. She palmed the side of his face again, stroked her thumb over his cheekbone.

"Jill," he said, softly.

"Shhh," she said. She leaned in and gave him a gentle, undemanding kiss. "We can get out of here, go wherever you want. Jack can make that happen."

"I know," Daniel said; and he did. He looked at her with raw appeal. "I can't. There's too much to do still."

Jillian schooled her expression to one of careful neutrality. She was beginning to feel the emotional toll of the last few days and especially the last few hours; and now she was trying to feel her way around Daniel's needs, figure out what to do without making it worse. She was in pain watching him be in this much pain.

She sighed and fell forward in slow motion until she was resting against his chest.

She had not intended to do more than seek comfort in his arms but it worked to distract him from his own misery.

"Jill," he breathed, softly. One of his broad, strong heavy hands stroked over her head and down her back. His fingers curled in to gather her hair into a ponytail and followed it to the ends. "When was the last time you slept?"

"I'm fine," she said, hedging the question.

"It's not just you anymore," he said, "Look, Jill, you brought up the Entity from P9C-372. I remember telling Jack and Teal'c that I understood their job was to protect; and I thought I did understand it at the time. I didn't even with you in my life I didn't get it entirely. I didn't understand - not until now. Now it's _my_ job to protect and I think I may have just royally screwed that up. The least you can let me do is fuss over whether or not you've had enough sleep."

"I slept," she said, "and I ate. Not because I wanted to but because I couldn't stand to disappoint the parade of people who kept bringing me food."

"Parade?"

She sighed, shifted so that she was resting against him comfortably. "Teal'c brought a tray of fruit and then insisted he couldn't finish it and I should because he didn't want it to go to waste."

Daniel felt a smile twitch. Jillian went on, "Then after Teal'c left, Scotty brought me a sandwich and claimed he had accidently put mayonnaise on it and he knows I know he hates mayonnaise so I might as well eat it."

"Anyone else?"

"Mal brought muffins. Mitchell kept filling the water pitcher until I finally let him go get me some tea."

"Then since I know you aren't starving, I want you to go lie down for a while," he said.

"I am lying down."

"Are not."

"Am too."

Daniel moved until he got his hands under her shoulders. He pushed her upright and took her face between his palms.

"When they let me out of here, I'm going to need you," he admitted, "I'd rather have you rested."

Jillian thought she could have stayed there forever, holding him and being held, feeling the easy rise and fall of his breathing and staring into the ocean-blue eyes she loved.

But he turned away and looked at Cameron Mitchell, seated in a chair beside Vala's sleeping form. He was sprawled with his legs wide in front of him, almost ready to slide off the seat, arms folded, chin tucked, eyes closed.

"Mitchell!" Daniel said, sharply.

Cameron came upright in an instant. It seemed to Jillian that he reached for a sidearm that wasn't there before catching himself.

"Yeah," he said, sounding half asleep but coming alert.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Whatever you want."

Mitchell stood up with no evidence that a nap in a wretchedly uncomfortable hospital chair had kinked so much as a single muscle.

"Can you walk my wife back to our quarters?"

"Be happy to," Cameron said, with a polite nod to Jillian, and acknowledgment that this was Daniel's idea and he was well aware that she was capable of walking to her room on her own.

Jillian sighed as she watched one more member of the military fall to the power of Daniel's personality. She kissed her beloved husband lightly on the lips.

"I'll wait for you there," she told him.

"Sleep well," he answered.

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	199. Chapter 199

Jillian sometimes wondered how long she would have to be at the SGC before things stopped shocking the hell out of her – and if Daniel would always be at the heart of those things. Daniel had come back from this latest escapade whipped hard with deep regrets. He was taking the whole thing personally and he always would. He was suffering the effects of his own hubris again. His desire to find Ancients who were perhaps more powerful and wiser and more helpful than the ones in their own galaxy had gotten Sallis and Harrid outed for heresy and burned alive. He was angry about losing two good people who'd had no voice at all in his experiment and about almost losing Vala as well.

In fact he _had_ lost Vala and Jillian's insistence on reminding him that going along with Daniel had been entirely Vala's choice wasn't helping.

"She could have let you go, taken the bracelet off as soon as you got back from the Prometheus and she _didn't_," Jillian told him, "and for the worst possible reason – greed. She only went with you to find out what she could get in return."

"It got her killed!" Daniel said, "And I didn't argue with her very much about going."

"She risked her own life," Jillian stood her ground, temper sparking, "That's her right. Look, Daniel, I obviously don't know Vala very well but it seems that she could certainly choose a life on the planet of her choice and live a perfectly normal existence. For whatever reason she _likes _being out there and living on the edge. You didn't make her go and it seems your precious…."

She stopped abruptly and took a deep breath. Daniel's eyes narrowed and Jillian hesitated for a moment longer. She wasn't sure she wanted to discuss the Ancients right now – not with her husband when he had that much anger and aggression flashing warning lights in his very clear, very blue eyes.

"My precious _what?"_ Daniel asked in a voice so neutral it could have meant anything.

They faced off across the distance between them and Jillian was glad they were in his office, where they had often sparred professionally many times over the years and not in the intimate space of their quarters. She didn't want to have this conversation when she knew it end with her shouting at him and him freezing her out.

"You're pissed and you're trying to hide it, fight it," Daniel said, shrewdly.

"I don't want to fight with you," she answered carefully. "But I _am_ angry with you, if you want to know the truth – and you _always_ do. You linked yourself to another piece of alien machinery with no clear idea what would happen and you did this while still attached to a piece of alien technology that already _was_ a threat to you. If it all went to hell then you don't have anyone to blame but yourself. Whatever that machine did, we had already been ignorant of it for hundreds if not thousands of years. It could have waited while we did some research and made some kind of plan _and you should have gone with someone you trusted to have your back._ But I suspect that Jack is going to hand you your chewed ass over that – as well as putting you through a shredder for not having an exit strategy. So I'll let him handle that part. The rest of this truth is that I love you and I've already forgiven you."

"You're right, of course," Daniel replied, "About all of that. I was stupid."

_Stupid isn't even possible for you_, she thought, but she didn't say it because it wasn't entirely true and it would just make him angrier.

"You want to forgive me because you want to make all this right," Daniel said. "You want to make it so it didn't all go wrong in the first place. It's what you always do and I love you for that. But you didn't answer my question. My precious _what?"_

Jillian ground her teeth and sat down hard on one of the lab stools, bracing one leg in front of her. Daniel crossed the distance and stood in front of her. His hand slipped around her chin, coaxed her head up and he looked squarely into her eyes.

"Jillian," Daniel's voice was softer now. His eyebrows were up and he was giving her a long hard speculative stare. "What are you keeping from me?"

"Nothing," she answered, "you've always known how much I dislike the Ancients."

"Is that the answer to _what?_ The Ancients?"

She nodded. His expression went totally neutral again. "Yes," he said, too softly, "I remember you compared them to childish frat boys when I first came back. I know you've never wanted to talk about them. But I thought you were just frustrated by the way they returned me to this plane."

"I've been frustrated by them more often than that," she said, stiffly.

"Starting when?"

Jillian knew that tone. He wouldn't stop until he got the answers he wanted.

"It started when you came back without Shifu, when you let Oma manipulate you into letting him go."

"She didn't!" He barked, startled.

"She did!" Jillian insisted, "And you let him go and I still don't even understand why she wanted him. You believe it was to protect us, to protect humanity from what Shifu was and what he knew. I don't. I think the Ancients had their own reasons for wanting him and they used him and now we don't even know where he is."

"I think Shifu gave us a pretty good idea of what humanity could become with that kind of information," Daniel said, and the chill was coming back into his voice.

"Daniel, we don't even know for sure that _was _Shifu. All I know is that an Ascended Being came into your life and mind-fucked you into believing that you could become some kind of murdering, raping megalomaniac bent on world domination – _and that simply is NOT possible."_ She met the chill in Daniel's voice with heat in her own.

"You already helped me through that, more times than I can count," he reminded her impatiently.

"It doesn't mean I'm not furious it happened in the first place," she snapped.

"You're still angry at _Shifu_ after all this time?" He said in flat disbelief.

"If I could I would track down his incorporeal ancient-ness and give him the worst tongue lashing of his eternal life," she said.

Jillian felt the change in Daniel. He was standing close enough to her and she was looking deeply enough into his eyes that she could see the flutter of amusement at the thought of something so insanely improbably ever happening. She could also see the flare of affection at the way she defended him, backed him right or wrong. It was the kind of thing that could make him laugh and turn him on all at the same time under other circumstances.

"All right," he said, thawing a little, "but you have to admit the Ancient knowledge is what saved us from destruction time after time."

"Not because of anything _they_ did. We've saved ourselves using stuff they accidentally left lying around!"

"Like the weapon in Antarctica," Daniel said.

"Like the head-sucking monster that almost killed Jack twice and leaves me terrified that there's another one out there and the next time it's going to be _you _with your head stuck in it! Like than _communication_ device that nearly got you killed _twice._"

"Oh, my _god_, Jillian. _Stop,"_ he said.

She did, immediately, already regretting saying anything at all about the Ancients.

For having the argument she hadn't wanted to ever start.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…." She began.

"Why?" He demanded, "You can't tell me things now?"

"You just asked me to stop!"

"It's a lot to take in, but you shouldn't be sorry you said it."

"I meant it when I said I didn't want to fight. Daniel, when Vala's heart stopped so did mine. I thought I was going to watch you die and be powerless to stop it. I let something slip that I shouldn't have and you demanded the truth. I gave it to you. We disagree about the Ancients. So be it. It isn't worth fighting about."

Jillian reached for him because she had started shaking. It was the kind of reaction that couldn't be stopped. It was the last of an adrenaline rush exiting in a spectacular crash. It was 'tamped down fear-response surging up' shaking. It was the way she shook after the super-human effort it had taken not to scream and keep screaming when Vala had flat-lined. Tears rose unbidden in her eyes and started to fall.

She heard Daniel say her name as if he was very very far away. His arms went around her and she knew she was being gathered up, tucked in close. The warm solid presence of his tall, densely muscled body absorbed the emotional vibrations of hers. She leaned into it. Leaned hard into _Daniel._

For a long time she just held onto him, pressed up close in the familiar chaos of his office and feeling sheltered – for now at least. She rested beloved presence of Daniel until the specters of what- could-have-happened detached themselves and melted away, and there was just the two of them, the room, reality, and she could breathe again.

"Okay," Daniel said at last, when he felt her calm down, "It's okay now." His hand was stroking up and down her back.

"You think?" She asked, skeptically.

"Yes," he answered, drawing her head in against his shoulder. "You usually don't lose it like that unless everything is over and it's finally okay."

She pulled back, shook her hair back and looked up at him. She blinked at the ridiculous truth of the statement. "That is a really awful way to judge whether something is okay."

"Is it?" He asked.

She laughed. It wasn't the deep, happy laugh he had been going for, but he accepted it.

In her 'quoting' voice Jillian said, _"It was said of Daniel, 'if he were in one scale of the balance and all the wise men of the world in the other, he would outweigh them all'_."

"Then you believe me when I say it's going to be okay?"

It was odd Jillian thought, that this conversation had started with her comforting him and ended the other way around. But things were often like that with Daniel. He had a way of turning things on their heads and shaking the foundations of sacred things.

"Yes," she said, "I believe you."

Because he was _Daniel._

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	200. Chapter 200

**Jack and Daniel** **get some lunch at the end of Origin.**

**(0)**

Jack put his tray of food on the table and slid into his seat. He moved some things around to put them where he wanted them and said,

"Jeezus, Daniel. Relax. Nothing's going to happen in the next few minutes."

"What do you mean?"

"You're jumpier than a turkey in November," Jack observed.

Daniel had admitted to fear of the future now, but he wasn't acting scared. He was acting apprehensive. Daniel sat down, ducked his head and looked up at him.

"Jillian said you were going to kick my ass over all of this."

"Did she now?" Jack asked congenially.

"And put me through a shredder over not having an exit strategy."

Jack paused to take a few bites of his cheeseburger. He chewed, swallowed and washed it down with a root beer.

"You're married to a smart woman," he commented.

"I am," Daniel acknowledged. He pushed some pasta around on his plate with no clear indication that he was going to eat it. Then he looked up and met the dark eyes focused on him. He swallowed a little. No matter how casually Jack behaved the man seated across from him was a highly decorated two-star General in the US Air Force. The eyes focused on him were as unwavering as ever- sharp and dark with questions somewhere in the depths. Jack's expression had more than a hint of a showdown coming in the direct and pointed stare.

"Jillian mad at you?" Jack asked, conversationally.

"Oh yeah," Daniel breathed out. He ducked back to looking at the food on his plate since he wasn't ready for this, or for anything else at the moment.

And he went with irritation instead of guilt because he had both in spades.

"So am I going to get the 'you're part of a team' speech or the 'exit strategy' speech first?" He asked.

He glanced up when Jack didn't immediately answer, didn't give him the fast quip he was expecting. It had been ages since they had seen each other and Daniel thought that maybe they had lost their timing.

"Neither," Jack said, finally, "We might get around to them later though."

Daniel winced. Jack took pity. Daniel was never easy on himself when he thought he had done something wrong.

"Look, Daniel," he said. "I'm pretty sure I can't beat you up any more than you've already beat yourself up."

"True," was the instant reply.

"And you're not really a part of a team anymore."

Daniel inhaled so sharply he choked on his pasta salad and had to reach for the glass of water at the top of the plate.

Jack waited for him to stop. "_Christ, _Jack. *_cough* _What a crap thing to say_." _

"You'll always be part of ….," Jack paused, waved a hand as if he was searching for a word in the air, "us. But even you've been telling Mitchell that there isn't an SG1 anymore, not like it was."

Daniel finished the water and cleared his throat. "There might have to be, now," he said, quietly.

"You think this threat is that big? That is will bring SG1 back together?"

Daniel speared him with a look, taking the offensive for the first time since Jack had appeared back in the office.

"Not all of us," he said, flatly.

"You're the one who still wants to be out there , Daniel."

"I know! But I want to explore. I want to learn and I want to do that with Jillian. This… This is going to be another war, Jack and we haven't recovered from the last three. I'm _tired_ of fighting."

Jack sighed a little and seemed to concentrate on his lunch. The part of him that was Daniel's friend wanted to stay and help him work through this. The two-star General part wanted to be on a plane heading back to DC so they could set things in motion to fix this _now –_ while the Ori were still sending kamikaze missionaries and before they started sending ships with firepower.

"I know what you did," Daniel went on, "I know you became the Man because you wanted control over the direction the program was going. I know you did it so you'd be in a position to control this civilian advisory board they're threatening us with. I also know you did it for S…."

Reading his mind again, Jack said, sharply, "Careful."

Daniel broke off, remembering belatedly that they were in the crowded commissary.

"Some reasons that are personal," he finished.

"I can pull you," Jack said, softly, with his eyes on his French fries.

"What?" Daniel asked, shocked.

"Off the front line," Jack said, "I can pull you from this if you want."

"I _caused_ this," Daniel said, shock drifting into something more horrified.

"It doesn't mean you have to fight it on the ground."

"Jack!" He sounded strangled again. Several heads turned in their direction. Daniel swallowed and brought his voice down. In a harsh whisper he said, "You can't pull me. You need me."

Jack ground his teeth. Daniel was right of course. At some point, probably in the very near future they would need Daniel – their resident expert on the Ancients – out there, on the ground. He had just claimed to be tired and all it took to bring _Daniel_ back to life again was the threat of being pulled. The man staring at him from across the table was the Daniel who had fought and bled and _died_ – over and over – for this program and for what he believed was right. This was the Daniel who had glanced at the glyphs from the Stargate and figured out in a few days what had eluded others for years; who had dug in and fought the Goa'uld and the Replicators, who had found the Lost City.

Jack knew better than to try to stop him now. Daniel was the guy who would find the thing that would turn this all around. The only mystery was how - whether he found it in the ground on some impossibly distant world, or from the depths of his own brilliant mind, whether he broke physically or mentally or broke everyone's heart again.

"So if I let you stay in, do I get to make the 'exit strategy' speech again?"

"Is that the price?" Daniel demanded.

"Will you listen?"

"I'll hear you."

_Crap._ He pushed his plate aside and leaned forward, lowering his voice to a deadly whisper.

"I know you're going to do whatever you think you have to do," Jack said, "But I swear, Daniel, just try to make sure there's a life for you at the end of it. If not for your own sake then for the sake of your wife and son. If not I _will_ find you and kick your ass."

"Okay," Daniel said, too quickly.

Jack's temper sparked. Daniel was giving in too quickly, agreeing too smoothly. He hated it when Daniel felt like he had to atone for something.

"And Ascension is _not _an acceptable exit plan! Do you understand?"

"Okay."

"No one is up for a third round of that and it might not even be possible."

"Okay!" Daniel was getting pissed now, because it sounded like Jack didn't trust him. He could see it in the tension across Daniel's hunched shoulders and the stiffness in his jaw.

So Jack stopped and took a breath.

"It's not about trust," he said.

"Okay," Daniel ground the word out between his teeth.

Jack knew the value in a good tactical retreat. He'd won and lost this battle when he brought up Jillian and their unborn son. He'd hit Daniel where he was the most vulnerable but Daniel hated being manipulated.

"None of us want you to wind up dead again…. Or lost… or stranded… or frozen…. Or whatever," Jack said, losing the aggression in his voice. "You're _not_ part of a team anymore. You're part of something much bigger."

Jack stared at Daniel pointedly until he saw the meaning behind the words dawning in the pale blue eyes.

Well, no one had ever accused Daniel of being slow on the up take.

_You're part of a __**family**__ now – your own and the one made up of nothing but people who love you and die a little every time you do._

"Okay," Daniel said, quieter this time, acquiescing. He smiled a little though Jack could still see the anger and the regret shadowing his expression.

They ate for a few more minutes in silence. Then Daniel asked,

"When do you have to go back to DC?"

"This afternoon."

"After lunch?"

"Yes."

It seemed to Jack that Daniel sighed a little.

"We'll fix this," Jack said. There was a world of unspoken things in between those lines.

Daniel looked up and nodded.

"I know," he said, simply.

(0)


	201. Chapter 201

**This is an homage to every bad romance novel I ever abandoned after reading a cheesy love scene. I happened across one on the paperback exchange table in the staff lounge today. It reminded me of every silly euphemism for body parts I've ever read.**

**(0)**

Daniel was sprawled across the bed in their quarters, naked, sated and blissfully content, his head pillowed in Jillian lap. They'd showered after a particularly hungry session of love making and Jillian had somehow had enough energy to get into a t-shirt (one of his) and panties. Daniel had used the last bit of movement left to him to fall onto the bed and get comfortable. Inconceivably she was sitting up and reading.

Reading and petting him, her fingers drifting through his hair, over his shoulders and down his back as far as she could reach. It was delicious. He was beginning to float on that feeling, drifting into sleep. The casual certain love in her touch sent him into that mindless, wordless place where he could just rest and breathe and feel.

"So why is she?" Jillian asked, suddenly.

"Mmmmf?" Daniel asked. It seemed to him that she must have been speaking before this but he hadn't really been aware of it.

"Still on the Base?" Jillian went on.

Daniel opened his eyes about halfway, though he still couldn't see anything without his glasses.

"What?" he asked.

"Why is Vala still on the Base?" Jillian said each word slowly, as if she was speaking to someone whose first language wasn't English.

"Oh," Daniel said, snuggling back down. He heard the frown in her voice but he was still too content to be alarmed by it. "She's still going around and around with the British government over her 'finder's fee'."

Jillian snorted as she twirled her fingers around in his hair.

"She isn't still insisting on taking some of the treasure with her?"

"No."

Daniel sighed and rolled over on his back so he was looking up at her. It seemed obvious now that they weren't dealing with pregnancy fatigue anymore. The last two days Jillian had seemed to have more energy than a naquadah generator. His head was brushing gently against the firm swell starting to show between her hips. A 'baby bump' Teal'c's tabloids called it. Daniel kind of liked that. Fully clothed she could still hide it. It wasn't obvious.

What was obvious was that she wanted to talk. Daniel sighed.

"She's agreed to a ridiculous amount of money but she wants it in gold, or something else that can be traded out there in the galaxy."

"You can hardly blame her," Jillian seemed to have some of her attention on him and some on the book in front of her. Her lovely eyes were still scanning back and forth as she read. Her fingers were still drifting over his hair and skin.

"You sound almost as if you understand," Daniel mused.

Jillian shrugged. "A girl's got to eat. Treasure hunting is certainly more honorable than some of the things she could be doing; not that I doubt she's doing some of those things too. It's an incredible find. We can't give her credit for it and something like that would be useless to her anyway."

Daniel fought back a yawn. He hadn't intended to talk to her about this yet but since she had started it.

"The British government is going to start a dig to officially 'discover' the treasure. They want to use the Prometheus to beam it all to a largely unexplored collapsed cave system a few miles southeast of Glastonbury Tor."

She looked away from the book for a moment. "That's a very good idea, "she said. "It's a good cover story and the British people will regain a huge part of their historical legacy."

"I thought so too," he said, slowly.

Jillian seemed to read for a few more minutes and then she said, "And?"

He had been on the verge of closing his eyes again. "And?"

"There's an 'and'. I heard it in your voice."

Daniel sighed. "And they want me to lead the dig," he finished.

The hand holding the paperback finally lowered entirely, coming to rest at her side with a finger stuck in the pages to hold her place.

"It's not exactly your field of expertise, Dr. Jackson, Egyptologist," she said.

"I'm not likely to find any kind of work at all in Egyptology, Dr. North, unless it was as your assistant." He was too tired and too sated to make that sound grumpy. "It's their way of making sure I get some kind of credit for the find."

"Which is very generous of them," Jillian said, "Do you want to do it?"

"Yes," he answered, "On one condition."

"And that is?"

"You come with me. I won't go alone."

"I had nothing to do with finding the treasure in the first place."

"You're my wife," He answered, "I want you with me."

Daniel watched her face. This was something he wanted to do. It would repair some of his reputation out there in the 'real' world. Until now he hadn't cared much about that. But if he ever parted company with the SGC he wanted to be certain there was a life out there for him beyond teaching – something he could use to support his family. It wasn't a conventional dig in that sense of the word, but the treasure _had_ been discovered because of him. He felt no sense of guilt about claiming the credit for it.

"Not as any kind of lead," Jillian said, firmly.

A wide, satisfied, sleepy grin split his face. "So you'll do it."

"So you want to," she countered.

"Yes."

"It will take us away from here for a while. Are you sure you want to do that?"

His grin faded a little. "There's no time frame for it. I can discuss it with them further now that I know you'll do it."

"Hmmm," she said. She studied him for a moment and then went back to stroking his hair and shoulders.

When she lifted the book again he closed his eyes and started once again to surrender to the lulling movement of her hand. He was beginning to settle once more into sleep when her hand stilled abruptly.

Her finger tapped his shoulder.

"Daniel."

"Mmm?" It was a noncommittal answer, could mean anything.

"Are you awake?"

"Mm," still not commiting to anything definite on that front.

"Can I ask you something? Something personal?"

" 'Kay," he murmured.

"When we make love does you cock," she paused and then went on as if she was reading lines, "Weep with potent desire?"

Daniel's eyes slid opened and tried to focus, which was impossible without his glasses. Several answers flew into his mind at the same time. A few of them might be guaranteed to have him sleeping on the bunk in the staff quarters. Alone. He settled on not answering.

"What?"

She lowered the book and pointed to a passage. He glared at her and pulled it so close his nose almost touched the page. Squinting, he read it.

Then read it again.

"Good _god_, Jillian! Are you mad at me? You know I can't ever _un_read that now? Right?" He was trying to sound pitiful and failing because he was starting to laugh.

"Well does it?" She asked.

"That depends!"

"On what?"

"On what the hell a 'man root' is!" Daniel sat up, coughing as if he was choking.

"I'm pretty sure it's a euphemism for male genitalia," she said.

"Why in the name of anything holy would an author pick _that_ as a word?" Daniel asked. "It sounds like a carrot with a face painted on it."

"Well a little bit before that there were a lot of references to the heroine's 'moist petals opening' and her 'love garden'. I'm sensing a floral theme."

Daniel slammed his hands over his ears and made a loud repetitive noise.

Jillian giggled. Her eyes were dancing with amusement. "She seems to have 'rosy peaks' too, so more flower references."

"Oh my god, stop," he pleaded. "Word guy here! Why on earth are you reading that?"

"Because it's hilarious," she said, "Come on! What heroine – what woman for that matter – has time to think up silly words for sex organs while in the throes of passion?"

"Throes of passion?" he repeated. "Woman, you are _killing _me."

She gave him a saucy grin. "I suppose you don't want to know about how he wants to 'plow a furrow in her love fields with his horn of desire'?"

"Jillian!" He grabbed a pillow and threw it at her.

She laughed out loud and deflected it onto the floor. His eyes crinkled at the corners. His mouth battled away a smile. Then Daniel couldn't help it. He started to laugh.

"It does _not_ say that," he begged.

"It does," she said. She paused to join him in cracking up again. "It's not as bad as the papyrus from 903."

"Oh yeah, the one with the swollen loins and throbbing secret citdels?"

"And a velvety blade," she reminded him. "Please, _please_, let me read your report about that one?"

"No!" He said, "No, no, no, no. No!" His groan was somewhere between being amused and appalled. He pulled the paperback from her hand and squinted at the title. "Sweet, Savage Prince?"

"Yes," she chuckled, "He's a British Duke who is also an Arab sheik named Ibn."

Daniel stared at her blankly, "His name is 'son of'?"

Jillian giggled again and then collapsed into his lap laughing. He curled over on top of her, protective, affectionate. He was shaking with laughter.

Jillian sat up, pushing her hair out of her eyes. It forced him to sit up too.

"So the answer to my question is?" She prompted.

"What question?"

"Does your c…."

"STOP!" He groaned, "For the love of the written word, woman, _stop_."

"But I just…."

Daniel grabbed her, pulled her into his arms and dammed her mouth with his until they had to come up to breathe. Her breath was soft on Daniel's lips for a moment , and then she kissed into the curve of the smile she could still feel, pushing her body closer, as close to Daniel as she could get.

"Tell me later?" She teased.

"Show you now," he murmured.

Then he kissed her again - kissed her and found her was kissing back, hard and sweet, and they stopped talking for a very long time.

(0)


	202. Chapter 202

**Vala leaves. Then Vala comes back…..**

**(0)**

He had woke up – _again _– lying on his back with the familiar ceiling of the SGC infirmary over his head and Mitchell hovering beside him. The reason _why_ he had woken up there again was something that had caused him to fall backwards onto the pillow, swamped by a feeling of overwhelming defeat. He wanted to fly across the room and throttle the smile off Vala's face with his bare hands.

With a heavy, aggravated sigh, he asked, "Where is Jillian?"

When he didn't get an answer he turned to find Lam and Mitchell exchanging an unfathomable look. He sat up in one single abrupt motion, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, alert as if sensing danger. Piercing Mitchell with a look of icy determination he said,

"Where is Jillian?"

Mitchell took a slow breath and spoke as he let it out. "This was getting her a little stressed out…."

"A _little -," _Daniel broke off as if he couldn't quite say anything else. His teeth clenched and ripple went through his jaw.

"Once you were stable," Lam spoke up, "She was getting a headache and wouldn't take Tylenol so I suggested she go lie down in your quarters while we waited for you to regain consciousness. She's…."

Carolyn broke off as Daniel jumped down from the bed and took off out the door at a run.

"Dr. Jackson!" She called futilely.

She looked at Mitchell, who just shrugged. He wasn't about to be the one who got between Daniel and what he wanted – especially if what he wanted was his wife. Instead, Mitchell walked over to Vala and grabbed her hand.

"Come on," he said.

"What?" She said, scrambling to get her feet on the floor while he pulled her off the bed.

"We're going back to your former quarters for the moment, down the hall from Jackson, until we get this sorted out," Mitchell said.

As she was dragged down the hall in Daniel's wake, against the protests of Dr. Lam, Vala said to him,

"You know, his wife really should be out of patience with all this by now."

Cameron sighed and shook his head. "His wife should have lost patience with him years ago. That ought to tell you something."

(0)

The light on the nightstand was glowing dimly when he opened the door. Mindful that Carolyn had told him Jillian was fighting a headache he crept in and quickly closed the door to keep the harsh light from the hallway out.

"Daniel?" He saw her lift up, rising on one elbow.

"Yeah, it's me," he said, crossing the room quickly and sliding into the space beside her. "Are you all right?"

"Are you?" She countered.

His eyes adjusted to the lowered light and he found that she was gazing at him anxiously.

"I am," he murmured, gently cradling her face, fingers into the heavy spill of her hair. "There's complications, but I am _fine_. _Wǒ hěn hǎo.__Háixíng._"

"Is that what you're calling this? A complication?"

Daniel ground his teeth together and struggled for calm. "Bǎobèi," he said, softly, "I don't know what else to call this."

He suddenly became aware that her eyes were wet. Jillian crying was always enough to sober him, snap him out of his own thoughts. Jillian crying in utter silence was something else entirely.

Unless she was moved to sentimental tears by silly paperbacks or the image of a faithful dog waiting at the school bus for a little boy, Jillian only cried for one reason.

Because she was frustrated – beyond reason, when she knew she couldn't do anything to change what was happening. This was frustration accompanied by that kind of helplessness. Jillian moved forward, against his chest and simply wept. It soaked the shoulder of his shirt. Each small salty tear was weighted with his own guilt. Each felt like the heaviest thing in the world falling on him.

"Tell me what to do," he begged, gathering her in his arms.

"For now?" Her voice was muffled. "Just hold me."

So he did, whispering, "Shhhh," in a soft voice as he stroked her hair and back.

She didn't cry for long. Jillian was, after all, made of much sterner stuff. When she finally stirred and moved back enough to look up at him, her eyes were red and her eyelashes were spiked. But her eyes were also dry. Daniel kissed gently over her face, pulling back between each kiss to maintain the eye contact, keeping his gaze warm and calm. He refused to give away the roiling coldness in his heart. Jillian's gazed roamed over his face, searching.

"You're angry," she said, guessing. But she knew him too well to guess wrong.

"Mmmm," he answered, kissing the corner of her mouth. "Of course I am."

She turned her head to catch his mouth with her own. "You belong to me," she said, a little fiercely.

"Yes," he answered, swiftly. "Of course I do._ Bǎobèi, _I am yours. Always."

The ferocity in her tone actually soothed Daniel a little. Her heated temper was something he could deal with. That was _Jillian_. Jillian silently crying in helpless frustration was something he never wanted to see again in any lifetime. He kissed over her forehead and stroked his thumb over her cheek.

"Are you all right?" He asked again. "Carolyn said you have a headache."

"I do," she admitted.

"Take something!" He was close to begging even though he knew what her answer was going to be.

Jillian shook her head, as he had known she would. "No. It will go away. Just hold me."

Her felt her body relax; felt her deliberately relaxing one muscle at a time. Her body went soft and supple as she sank back into him and into the mattress.

"I can do that," he said.

He wanted to direct all his ice-cold anger at Vala and found that he couldn't do so entirely. He was just as guilty. He knew what she was like. He had let his guard down, so caught up in examining interesting artifacts that he had forgotten how treacherous she could be. Vala masked it well, behind seeming silliness and airy nonchalance. But he knew that she was ruthless and had lost sight of that in his arrogant belief that she was helpless on his turf.

How wrong he had been. That Vala was suffering the effects of the bracelets was no comfort at all. She deserved no less and he would let her continue to suffer if his own life wasn't in danger the laughter they so often shared. At the moment he had to focus on soothing his wife and assuring her of his continued love and presence. In a few hours he was going to get up and find a way to fix this before his own guilt and the weight of her frustrated tears crushed him.

He wished he had an immediate answer that would dry his wife's tears and return them to the peace and happiness that had been sharing before Vala's arrival.

More than anything else, he wished there was some way for Jillian to love him and still be safe from pain and heartache.

(0)


	203. Chapter 203

**The Ties That Bind. Right after Daniel finally gets into all that leather and tries to leaves for the Gate Room.**

**(0)**

Daniel didn't at the moment care what anyone said. He preferred loose fitting robes designed for the desert and if he couldn't have those he wanted - of all things! – the equally loose-fitting BDUs the government had generously supplied him for the last nine years. After that it was sweaters and lightweight chino pants. Nothing clingy. Nothing that fit like another skin and seemed to have its own thoughts about when and how to move, contrary to his.

Nothing like the leather pants he was currently arguing with. The shirt wasn't too bad. It laced up the front and left his arms free to move. The pants on the other hand were not at all easy to move around in and what it might be doing to his poor, strangled genitalia didn't bear thinking about.

Somehow he still had to bend over to get the boots on.

He was standing at the dresser and reaching for the eye drops – while hoping that _this _time the contact lenses wouldn't cause an eye infection – when Jillian walked in the door. He looked up with the intention of saying something glib about how it was a good thing their second child was already guaranteed by the Asgard, the way his balls were currently being abused by his undercover attire.

But he pulled up short. So did she. Her weight was still on her left foot as she started to push the door shut. A draft from the hall brought her scent to him – clean and floral, with a hint of desert spice. Her expression changed. Her eyes swept him from head to foot and then slowly back up. They were soft, vulnerable, wide and dark. Her gaze and body language melted into desire. He watched her swallow tightly. The heavy swell of her breasts, draped sensually by blue cotton, rose and fell as her breathing became slow and deliberate.

Daniel shivered and it was with anything but cold. He had seen her look at him that way many times in the past. Utterly adoring, weak with longing and lust. Daniel didn't melt. He flushed with heat as he always did when she looked at him like that. He _always_ responded to that look. If she accompanied it with a slow, suggestive touch it put him in a trance. He was so abruptly turned on he couldn't breathe.

"Jillian?" He gasped out her name.

It was the catalyst that put her in motion. She shut the door, walked to him until only an inch separated them and lifted her face to his, her mouth close enough for him to taste the strawberries and cream she must have been eating. His hands went up, gripped her waist and then fisted in her blue shirt. He pulled her close and let a soft moan escape.

"Are you trying to make me stop you from leaving?" She asked in a voice husky with longing.

"It never occurred to me you'd like this so much," He answered, turning his head just enough to kiss along the edge of jaw, brushing the soft fur of his beard against her throat.

"Are you kidding? Between the beard and the pants…."

She stopped when their lips met, opening. She gasped and gave him her tongue. She could feel him smile a little. He knew what the beard did to her. He'd enjoyed very much experimenting with it, finding all new ways to torment her into ecstasy.

He pushed his hips forward, ignoring the fact that there was _no_ room whatsoever in the leather pants for what was happening.

Jillian's legs were trembling. She was running her hands up and down his arms and making soft incoherent little noises.

"Baby," he said, with genuine regret. "I don't think we have time. I just got these pants _on…." _

"Who says they have to come all the way off?" She purred it. Sultry, her voice tickling his ear. Her hand trawled up his inner thigh in a gentle caress. His body tried frantically to find a way to break free of the leather. His next breath broke on a low groan as she pressed her hips hard against him.

"Well, no one, I guess, but… _oh…Jill…"_

"Who says I even want them all the way off?"

There was nothing to say to that, nothing he could think to say to it. Not that he could think with her hands gliding down his back to his ass.

"Are you saying no?" She asked.

"No, I'm not saying no. I just… _oh, god."_

Even Dr. Daniel Jackson could get into serious trouble if they dialed the Gate and he wasn't standing next to Mitchell prepared to go through it as soon as that backwash settled down into an event horizon. It took hideous amounts of energy to dial the thing.

Jillian came up on tiptoe to suck on the skin at the base of his throat.

Okay, so he had time for a few minutes of insane irresponsibility.

He wasn't sure when he started stripping her clothes off. She helped. Their hands occasionally tangled but there wasn't any fumbling. They were too practiced at getting undressed quickly when sudden passion hit. She shifted once to the left and then once to the right and he understood that she had toed out of her tennis shoes. When the shapeless BDU pants fell he heard them rustle as she kicked them aside.

Her fingers worked frantically at the lace on the front of his crotch. He let her do it, breathing slowly and ignoring the pain being caused by being rampantly erect in too small a space.

_Jillian….Jillian…. _In the space of heartbeats she had him wild with need. He was overflowing with desire, pain, pleas and promises he could hardly voice. She always did this to him. She had never stopped treating him as if he was something miraculous, as if he was something she had loved and fantasized about and then discovered that the reality exceeded her wildest imaginings. She got his pants opened, freed him from the trapped confines of his pants and took him in the heated pressure of her hand.

They were both still clothed from the waist up and Daniel had enough functioning brain cells left to know he was running out of time and the last thing he wanted right now was Mitchell banging on the door and telling him to hurry up.

He was too turned on to stop now and so was she. He backed her into the wall and lifted her up to match his height.

"Hold onto me," he whispered. Her arms went around his neck, rested on his shoulders. "Yeah… yeah, like that." He lowered her slowly and gave a sultry roll and upward thrust of his hips. It was so slow, or seemed to be, that Jillian was breathing in short sobs, her face hidden against his neck and half out of her mind by the time he was completely sheathed. He had her locked up tight, pinned between his body and the wall, held only by the strength of his arms. The power of his body, the hard, strong purely male power of it went through Jillian in a deep, sexual surge. She felt helpless, dominated, _taken,_ and she couldn't stop it and didn't _want_ to.

He thrust into her – deep and tight in short, swift urgent strokes, forcing his cock into her over and over again. The leather pants rubbed against her legs where they were locked around his hips. She gasped his name once… twice. Then a single hard gasp was wrenched out of her and she came so violently the world whited out. For a moment she felt utterly unmoored in spite of how securely Daniel was holding her, floating free in ecstasy that had weight and substance. She vaguely felt Daniel's hips give a brief, hard upwards jerk and then he shot into her, hot and deep, intense and wet. The fury of her climax doubled, renewed. She could feel the long muscular _pulse_ of each shot. His arms were like steel bands, shaking. His fingers were digging into her skin.

They pulsed together that way for a long time, stunned, trying to decompress. Her head dropped onto his shoulder, just resting there while she waited for the world to stop spinning, swallowing sobs. It was good. So good. So perfect….

He sighed, lifted her a little so that he could pull out and set her carefully back on her feet. He continued supporting her, pressed against the cold concrete. He had one arm around her waist. The other was straight and corded as he held himself upright with his palm on the wall. His mouth was all over her, kissing up into her damp hairline. He wanted to say things and he knew she could feel it. She knew it in the shape of his mouth beneath the kisses, the tension in his spine. But he remained silent and lost the words against her face. She breathed in deeply, inhaling him. Daniel took a breath too, a deep expansion of his chest. He was broad and strong and heavy, leaning over her.

He lifted her chin and fit their mouths together again. He kissed her like they now had all the time in the world, which they didn't. Finally he nuzzled her face gently, a completely natural and sweet gesture.

"Love you," he said, in a low voice that he might have used in a tent off world, trying not to wake up everyone else.

"Love you too," she answered.

(0)


	204. Chapter 204

**Missing Scene from Ties that Bind. This was written for the sole purpose of explaining why Daniel is reading and has his glasses off! Seriously, in 9 years we've never seen him do this and now suddenly he does (and it looks like the only reason is to have Vala sit on them. I hate things that seem contrived.)**

**(0)**

Jillian walked up behind him and slipped her arms around his shoulders, crossing her hands over his chest. Daniel sighed, took off his glasses and leaned back, resting his head against her.

"You're so tense, _leannan,"_ she murmured.

"There's a lot going on," he answered, vaguely.

Jillian stood up and started working on the knots in his neck. Daniel shivered a little as the seized muscles resisted and then began to surrender. She pressed with her thumbs and then moved so that her hands were kneading into the muscle and bone of his shoulders. Her hands smoothed over him in a deep, delicious massage. Daniel groaned. Jillian had beautiful hands, strong capable hands that he loved as much as he loved the rest of her.

He sank back and closed his eyes and drifted into the language of her touch.

_I love you. I __know__ you, what you like, where you're hurting….. _

When he had had relaxed to the point of dozing off, she spoke,

"You should let that go for a while."

"What?"

"The bracelets."

Daniel opened his eyes. It had to be obvious from the pages open in the books beside the keyboard and the window open on his computer screen that he was trying to track the bracelets. He wanted an end to being shackled to someone other than his wife.

"I'd prefer not taking her to DC."

"I'd prefer that she not have to go to DC," Jillian tried to keep her tone light but he knew she was annoyed about the trip.

Especially since they had agreed there was no reason for her to go, to risk flying.

"_Carida_," Daniel began.

Jillian was having none of it.

"You need to stop for a while," she said. Her thumbs were pressing into the top of his spine. "Do something else."

"Like what? Figure out how to convince a bunch of bean counters in DC that the Ori are a real threat so they won't cut our budget?"

"No, you'll do better if you just speak, from your heart, like you do off world."

"Really?"

"Really."

Daniel sighed again and leaned forward so she could reach the muscles of his lower back.

"You're going to put me to sleep," he said.

"You could use some sleep," she observed.

"Can't," he said, ruefully.

"Why?'

He straightened up and reached for his glasses, stretching and letting out a soft groan of appreciation for unkinked muscles.

"Because Mitchell has had Vala out there with him for almost ninety minutes. They're going to be back soon; and as much as she would like me to - I'm not sleeping with her."

He turned the desk chair around to face her. She was giving him a shrewd, knowing look.

"What?"

Her smiled broadened. "I can hardly blame her. You _are_ hot and she did see you in those pants."

"She didn't look at me the same way you did."

Jillian laughed a little. "My beloved husband, half the women on the Base looked at you the same way I did; and the half that weren't looking at you were looking at Mitchel. It's just very…. Reassuring that you didn't even notice."

"So you're not …. Jealous?" Daniel asked.

"Do I have a reason to be?"

"No," he said, quickly and then wondered if it was too quickly.

But she just smiled as if she had just read his thoughts.

"Come on," Jillian said, taking him by the hand and pulling him to get him out of the chair.

"What?"

"We're going to your lab."

"Why?" he asked, though he was following her somewhat obediently.

"You know those fragments from P4S-559?" Her smile was full of mischief, the smile of someone who had found the perfect Christmas gift and just placed it under the tree.

That piqued his interest. In fact his interest meter went off the scale. He forgot everything else. "Yes?"

"SG7 just came back with another one."

"What?" Now he wasn't following. He came up beside her as they went into the corridor. "Why didn't someone tell me?"

Jillian smiled and held onto his hand as they walked to the elevators. "Well," she teased, enjoying watching him get excited, "like you said, there's a lot going on."

"Jillian!" He sounded scandalized that she hadn't told him immediately.

"You looked so tired, Bǎobèi," she said. "I wanted to make sure you were up for this."

"This?" He said, "For this I'd get up out of a semi-coma."

"Not a full blown coma?" She asked. Her expression was still amused, indulgent.

"No," he said, "That honor is reserved for you."

He glanced sideways at her and saw her blush with pleasure. Elevator doors opened and closed behind them. He took the moment to wrap her in his arms and rest head his head on top of hers.

"Have I told you that you are amazing?" He asked.

"Not nearly often enough," she answered.

Daniel laughed and felt some more of the tension running out of him. When they arrived at their floor, he reached for the radio.

"Mitchell?"

"_Go_."

"I'm going to be in the lab."

"_Roger that. Meet you there."_

(0)

"Well," Vala said, standing in the doorway with one hip cocked, her fist resting on it brazenly, "Whatever you're studying must be important."

Daniel looked up with a puzzled expression. He glanced once at Jillian as if hoping she could translate 'female' for him. She wasn't looking back. Jillian was giving Vala a steady look of determined appraisal.

"What?" Daniel asked, blankly.

Vala strolled into the room, followed closely by Mitchell. She glanced at the SF already on duty at the door and frowned for a split second. Then she went to the table and bent over to see what had Daniel so enthralled.

"This is the first time I've seen you pay attention to anything else if Jillian is in the same room," she remarked.

Daniel glanced again at Jillian to see if that was going to spark her temper. His puzzlement deepened when he saw the faint glint of humor in the back of her eyes.

"You guys going to be okay?" Mitchell interjected.

"Why?" Daniel asked, bluntly.

"Because I have a meeting with Landry about this DC trip," Cameron replied. He was looking from Vala to Jillian if he was considering leaving one chew toy with a pair of female tigers.

Daniel stared at him until he 'got' it.

"Oh, yeah," he said, "We'll be fine."

Vala was casually walking around the room, assessing it. One security camera and an SF at the door, armed. When she caught everyone watching her, she flashed a brilliant, distracting smile and hopped up on the end of the table.

"Right," she said, waving her fingers at Mitchell, "Run along. We'll be fine."

Cameron seemed to hesitate for one more moment and then left the room. As he walked past the SF he said, "Don't let her out of your sight."

Vala rolled her eyes. Then she realized that Jillian was still watching her closely. She returned the gaze.

Fortunately Daniel had gone back to studying the fragments of tablet, delighted by the latest one. So he had no idea the room was in danger of catching fire.

Jillian spoke first.

"You don't act much like someone who was just executed and returned to the living."

Daniel's head snapped up and he sucked in a startled breath.

It didn't appear to throw Vala off as much as Daniel thought it would, or possibly not as much as Jillian had intended. She smirked a little.

"What would you know about how someone acts after coming back from the dead?"

Daniel couldn't have kept back the short burst of laughter if he had wanted to. Vala looked over her shoulder at him.

"What are you laughing at?" She asked.

"When it comes to people coming back from the dead, Jillian is an _expert_," he answered.

Vala's eyebrows went up. "How exactly do you become an expert at such a thing?"

With blinking and eye, Jillian answered, "My husband has been dead or presumed dead sixteen times."

Daniel _did _blink. He sat up straighter.

"Really?"

"Yes," she answered, flatly.

"_Cao, bǎobèi,"_ he whispered. "I knew it seemed like a lot. I just never knew exactly how many times….," he paused and swallowed.

Vala snorted indelicately. "You're either incredibly clumsy or incredibly lucky or both," she said.

Daniel didn't take his eyes off Jillian. "I am incredibly lucky," he said.

"Once or twice, I can almost understand, Daniel," Vala went on as if he hadn't spoken, "Sixteen times seems incredibly discourteous and could be evidence of a lack of good judgment."

"What would _you _know about good judgment?" Daniel shot back.

They had reached an impasse. The moment hung in the air and then Jillian broke it by tossing a magazine at Vala.

"Here," she said, "Get to know our little corner of the world while Daniel and I work."

She moved around the table to stand beside him. Daniel slipped an arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head, above her ear. She smiled at him and then pointed to the paper he was working on.

"Is that really what it says?" She asked.

"Yes," he said.

"But-"

"Did you take into consideration the geographical context?" Daniel interrupted, anticipating her objection.

"The geographical context is a planet several million light years from Earth," she pointed out.

"Yes, but the geography is almost identical to pyramids found in China. So we can't assume this has anything to do with Egypt at all. If you put a Cantonese slant on this, the translation makes more sense."

"There's an entire missing section here," Jillian pointed out.

"I know," Daniel acknowledged, "I guessing at some of it. What I really need is to get a geographical survey done of the remains of this city. This is incredible Jill. Their script and language seem unchanged for thousands of years."

He paused and took off his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose and then wincing as he rubbed behind his ear. Jillian wrapped her fingers around his wrist and pulled his hand away.

"Ouch," she said.

"What?"

"You're getting a nasty looking sore there," she said, "You really need to get these glasses fixed."

"It's kind of hard to get them readjusted when I can't _leave_ _the Base_," he said, finishing the last part between his teeth.

Vala looked up from her magazine and then rolled over so she was lying on the table, feet in the air. She grinned at him and shrugged and then went back to flipping pages.

Jillian sighed and shook her head. The sigh sounded like frustration to Daniel and he watched her closely.

"I'll go get your extra pair. Your old ones," she said.

Daniel caught her hand as she turned away. He couldn't quite resist sliding his fingers across her palm, to her wrist, over the delicate tendons and steady pulse.

"I can go," he said.

"No," she answered, "You can't; or _she _has to go with you. I'll go."

Vala looked up and lifted her eyebrows again at the tone of Jillian's voice.

"Why don't we _all_ go," she suggested, wickedly. "We can make it a threesome."

With no change in her expression, Jillian said, "_Qù nǐde_."

Daniel squeezed Jillian's hand – tightly – before she could say anything else. She smiled at him tightly.

"I'll be right back," she said, then leaned over and kissed him. It was chaste and appropriate. A perfectly acceptable public kiss from his wife.

Like every other kiss she ever gave him, it set him on fire, wrapped around his heart and settled somewhere at the bottom of his spine.

He smiled at her with breathless gratitude.

He was, indeed, an incredibly lucky man.

He went back to translating the fragmented tablet, offending glasses held idly in his hand.

"Daniel," Vala said, slowly, "Do you one of these…. Credit cards?"

"Yes, I do," he answered, "and no you can't."

(0)

Qù nǐde – Fuck off.


	205. Chapter 205

"Get out. Go," Daniel said, pointing to the door in case his meaning wasn't clear. His temper was barely leashed now. When Vala didn't immediately move he repeated it more forcefully. His tone dripped with disgust. "Get out. Go."

Vala flounced out the door in a huff, slamming it shut. Daniel stood there trying to breathe, looking at the rumpled bed in a stunned disbelief. Thank whatever Fates there were, she had been on _his_ side of it. The idea of her lying in Jillian's place, on Jillian's pillows….

He shuddered inside and raked his fingers through his already disheveled hair. While all those thought were running through his mind, the door opened again. He turned ready to strike out…

And found Jillian coming in the door.

_Damn._

There was no way Jillian had not seen Vala leaving, in a bathrobe.

Husband and wife froze, staring at one another. Jillian's hand was still on the door. The look on Daniel's face was so startling she couldn't immediately move or make a sound. He was a study in fury; somehow looking horrified and frustrated at the same time.

"Jill…," he began, only to break off when she put her hand up and slowly shut the door.

"Daniel, _wǒ cào,"_ she said. "Are you all right?"

She was wearing a pair of soft gray sweatpants slung very low on her hips and one of his t-shirts. She had tied the extra width of it in a knot but it still hung almost to midthigh. She had on flip-flop sandals (since 'regulation footwear' was one of those things she regularly ignored) and he could see that she had painted her toenails a shade of hot sunset pink. Her hair was casually tossed, recently dried and not styled yet – a heavy frame of layered silk around her face.

Daniel closed his eyes and struggled with his twisted emotions. He could be coolly violent when he needed to be, passionately defensive as well. He was currently spinning through too many emotions to figure out which one was dominate.

She was still regarding him steadily when he opened his eyes again. He made a vague, helpless gesture towards the door and the corridor beyond.

"You had to have seen Vala walking out of here," he said, and then he changed the gesture to the unmade bed, "and….and…."

Jillian took a slow, lazy step towards him. Those deep, green eyes stared at him. Stared _through _him.

"And naturally you've decided that I would jump to the conclusion that you took advantage of my work out time in the gym to have sex with another woman in our bed."

She might as well have doused him ice water.

"What?" He asked, startled.

"Do you think I don't know you better than that?" His wife asked. She wasn't yelling. He almost wished she would. Yelling was better than that _tone._

He also had no idea what to say. Some part of him _had_ jumped to that conclusion. He exhaled before lack of oxygen caused him to pass out.

"_Bái chī_," Jillian muttered.

Well, she was right. He _was_ an idiot. He should have realized how much she trusted him.

"Vala was here when I came back," Daniel admitted, "She wanted… wanted…well, you probably know what she wanted. I told her to go."

"I know you did," Jillian answered.

"You do?"

"The way she was stalking down the hall to her own room she didn't look very happy."

Daniel sank down on the bed as his temper drained away and he was seized by a kind of giddy, overwhelmed joy. Under that was a thrill of panic. He had, apparently, done a very good job assuring his wife of his undying loyalty. This meant that she would react as if Vala was attacking him, pressuring him with unwanted attention – the same way she always reacted whenever she thought he was being threatened.

As if to confirm his thoughts Jillian began growling a long string of Mandarin under her breath. He caught enough of it to know that she had just inherited his temper and turned it from ice into fire.

"_mutter…._ _gōng gòng qì chē mutter….._ _fèi wù mutter…._ _zhao bianmutter…_ _gou tui zi…._ _shén jīng bìng."_

"Hey!" he interrupted, before she could_ really _get wound up_._ He got up off the bed long enough to reach for her wrist and pulled her towards him as he sat back down. He put his hands on her hips and stroked his thumbs over the mild swell between them. "Bǎobèi," he said, softly, hoping she got both meanings.

She did. Sighing, Jillian stroked his face, slowly over the soft beard she loved so much. There was nothing in her eyes or her touch but love.

"Daniel," she said, "Maybe this is a talk we should have had a long time ago, but this is the first time another woman has been this blatant about what she wants from you." She paused and lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

"Vala's quite literally not from around here, Jill. We can't judge her on the basis of anything we believe here on Earth."

Jillian made a dismissive gesture before going back to stroking his face. "I don't care about Vala's questionable morals so much. You've made it clear you aren't interested in her that way –and half the men on the Base _are_ – so I think it's just part of the manipulative game she's playing. Daniel," she stopped and tilted his head up so that he was looking her in the eye. "You are a beautiful man. It's more than the way you look. It's the way you move, the intensity in your eyes, the timber and cadence of your voice. All of those things are part of what you are and women are going to be drawn to that. _Cào_! I was attracted to it and I still am you idiot. You're very easy to crush on, Daniel Jackson. I should know. I'm still doing it just as badly now as I did eight years ago when we first met."

He laughed a little, but looked away. He couldn't quite let her see how much her words meant to him, how much he longed for her to say them.

Jillian was having none of it. She used her palm to guide his head back up.

"You're awfully easy to fall for, Daniel," she said.

"I guess I just don't think about it,' he said.

"I know you don't," she said, "When I walked into the room the other day you really had no idea how those leather pants were going to make me react. Did you?"

Remembering her reaction made him start to harden. He shook his head, unable to speak.

"A lot of women want you for the body they see and nothing more," Jillian said, "and some of them are going to want the man who lives inside it."

"The man they think lives inside it," Daniel amended.

"Point taken," she smiled and he sensed the anger they had both felt was slipping away.

Daniel looked up at her as if he had been wandering in the desert and found a pool of water at long last.

He pulled her closer and leaned in to rest his forehead against her breasts (which had been stunning _before_ she got pregnant and were now nothing short of spectacular.) He breathed in the fresh clean scent of her. She had left him alone to go walk on the treadmill in the gym and had clearly showered. She smelled wonderful.

Then she leaned over and kissed him. He didn't resist. He wanted to say things about how other men looked at her and he understood what she was saying and how much he trusted her too. He wanted to say profound things about loving her and fidelity. But his thoughts were beginning to unravel; because of the way she kissed.

Her kisses were sweet and persistent, and gentle and firm and knowing all at the same time. A lot like Jillian herself. Her kisses spoke of everything Daniel loved about her, everything she was. During the sweet, gentle and everything kissing, Daniel's hands were still on Jillian's hips. But then his fingers began twisting into the fabric of the shirt she was wearing, lifting it up so he could slide his hands on her skin.

She stopped kissing him finally, straightened up and went back to stoking his hair when he pressed his head against her again.

"Jillian?" He pushed back so he could look up at her.

"What?"

"Make love to me," he pleaded.

Surprise flickered across her face. Her eyebrow lifted. Her fingers moved along his temple and down his cheek, sliding on the bone almost to his nose before drifting down to his mouth. Her touch was gentle and soothing and erotic.

"I just… I need….," he fought for the words. "I need to just be _us_ for a while. I need you to…. _God, _Jillian! I need you to make me stop _thinking_."

Jillian smiled at him, soft and loving, desire starting to spark in her eyes.

"I don't think you can ever stop thinking completely," she said. Her voice was suddenly low and husky. She leaned in to kiss him again. "But I think I can make you think about something else for a while."

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	206. Chapter 206

Jillian kissed him until he was breathless and then stepped back. His fingers slid out from under her shirt as she did. She looked at him, drank him in.

Daniel _was _beautiful. Everything about him was beautiful, even now with the beard giving a more masculine line to the curve of his jaw and the hollows under his gorgeous cheekbones; the incredible pale blue eyes under the fringe of heavy gold lashes, the winkle between his eyebrows as he tried to figure out why she had stepped away from him, the sudden firm line of his generous mouth as he wondered if he should protest.

She loved him so completely she was suddenly fighting back tears. Deep inside her there were cells that combined her DNA with his, dividing, segmenting into what would one day be a human being who looked like they did.

She wanted their son to look like Daniel – exactly like Daniel – and she understood now why her father didn't blame her for looking like her mother, why he cherished it.

"Take off your boots," she said, softly.

"What?" He asked.

She fought a smile and swallowed the tears. Sometimes for a really bright guy he could be a little dense.

"Take off your boots. We always start with the easy clothing first, get all wound up and then have to slow down to fight with your footwear. Let's get them out of the way. Okay?"

He blinked and seemed to consider it. Then he bent over and began hastily untying laces. Jillian in the meantime went and keyed the privacy code on the door. It would take General Landry's security card to open it and even he might think twice before using it.

She bent over as he sat up to toe off his boots. Taking the walkie from his front pocket she pressed the talk button and said,

"Cameron."

There was only the slightest pause before the reply, "_Go for Cam_."

"Vala was in our quarters, waiting for Daniel when he came in. She's back in her room now. Could you go speak to the SFs outside her door and explain the meaning of _guard_ duty to them?"

Her voice was sugar-sweet but there was no mistaking her meaning. She could almost see Cameron swallowing tightly before answering.

"_Roger that. I'll take care of it."_

"We're staying here for a while. Unless something suddenly beams her away, requesting radio silence."

"_Roger that."_

"Out," Jillian said and then walked over to toss the radio in a night table drawer.

"You think of everything," Daniel said, moving around to sit on the side of the bed and shrugging out of his jacket.

"The last thing I want is that damned radio going off now just to tell me they're going to play basketball." There was the hint of a growl in her voice, a bit of possessiveness and left over frustration about the woman who had been disrupting their lives since her arrival.

Daniel swept her with a slow, hot look. Apparently, today at least, the possessiveness was a turn-on.

Jillian untied the knot in her t-shirt – _his_ t-shirt – and pulled the whole thing over her head in a single smooth motion. She wasn't wearing a thing under it. She was sure he had been aware of that but he inhaled sharply anyway.

Walking back to him, she used her knee to push his apart so she could stand between then. His glasses went first, gingerly, so that she didn't hit the sore spot the new ones had caused behind his ear. His eyes glittered at her like iced fire. Then she reached for the hem of his shirt and lifted. He raised his arms to let her get it out of the way. It fell to the floor somewhere near hers, forgotten. Then she gathered him close again, without the hindrance of clothing between them.

His lips, reverently warm and insistent, framed by soft fur like a thousand extra tiny fingers , moved across her skin in little, nibbling kisses, so gentle that it set her shivering. She pulled Daniel into her arms, her hands moving through Daniel's soft hair. Daniel started touching her everywhere, because he could and because he wanted to. His hands set her on fire the way they always did and then her hands were on Daniel's smooth broad shoulders, sliding flat over his chest, feeling the shape of his body, the curve of his muscles, the beat of his heart. When her fingers brushed across Daniel's nipples, Daniel moaned. It was a small sound but it was wildly erotic and sweet and all at once Jillian wanted to make love to him so that he really did stop thinking, so that he lost all ability to think and reason. She wanted only to make him know that he was _hers_ and that she was his.

And that being his was the most wonderful thing she had ever been in her life.

Of course, wanting to make love to him would work out better if he'd stop touching her like that – with his sure, broad, calloused hands and soft wet lips and the beard that he was currently using against her breast, rubbing his cheek in a slow, sensual circle that had to be the absolute _hottest_ thing he had ever done to her. Or at least one of them.

She caught his face between her hands and tilted it up to kiss him again.

"I want you to sit up against the headboard," she said, "Can you do that?"

She was still cautious about asking him to submit. So many people had used him over the years. The thought caused the little spark of anger to ignite in her heart again but she quelled it.

Daniel moved instantly, scrambling up to the middle of the bed, kicking covers and sheets out of the way. He took the pillow, his pillows from his side of the bed and hurled them onto the floor. A threatening scowl briefly darkened his face but it vanished so quickly Jillian thought she might have imagined it. He started to unfasten his belt but she put her hands over his.

"Wait," she said, "Let me?"

"Okay," he said, letting his arms fall to his sides.

He watched her intently as she worked the canvas of the military belt free from the clasp.

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

"Make love to you," she answered. Pausing she looked at him. "It's what you asked me to do. Right?"

"Yes," he said, instantly, "Just…" He inhaled a little as she worked his fly open, stomach muscles rippling. "Isn't that what Vala wanted from me? Isn't this asking you to do the same thing…_oh…ah"_

She was stroking him through the cotton of his briefs, trying to turn off his last functioning brain cell.

"Did Vala want an expression of love from you?" Jillian asked, softly. She folded her fingers around his erection – which was still at about half-mast – and jerked him, fabric and all.

"N-nn-nn-no," He stuttered. The stuttering was hot. It meant the connection between his mouth and his brain – always a little tenuous – was starting to fray. "She said she was bored, that there was nothing else to do."

The little coil of anger starting to unroll again. Jillian refocused on the man she loved and what he needed.

"Then it isn't the same. At all. Stop thinking, Daniel," she said, "Do it. Now."

It seemed her that he did, or at least that he tried. He closed his eyes and lifted his hips so she could drag this pants and briefs down his long, muscular legs, over his taut calf muscles. She caught his socks on the way past and stripped him naked with the smooth efficiency of a scientist.

Then she leaned over to kiss the contours and lines of his stomach and chest, the taut skin over his breastbone. He was relaxed and alert all at the same time, spread out gloriously naked for her, open to her touch, open for her to take. Touching him was something she enjoyed and it was remarkably simple to get him writhing, moaning, fingers clenched in sheets, holding his hips still in an effort to let her do the work.

His legs quivered with the effort. Jillian stroked a hand over them, over the hard muscles earned by striding across strange, faraway planets for a living.

Jillian licked him while she kissed, tongue teasing places he always forgot were that sensitive until she reminded him. Her hand was still urging him to forget, to harden. She was also trying to get her own rampant libido to wait, settle down. But, _god_ she wanted him. Now. Right now.

She moved lower and licked the head of his cock. Daniel's hips jerked. His hand went to the back of her neck, touching but not holding her there. The low, startled sound he made went straight to her groin and made her throb urgently. She let out a deep, shivery breath that went all over his genitals and made him groan again. Her mouth teased the head while her hand kept fisting him in long smooth strokes.

"Jill… _sweet…. God_….baby…baby…I need….need…," he was babbling now, the connection between thought and mouth shattered.

The problem was that now _she_ needed. She got one hand around the top of her sweatpants without breaking a single beat in what she was doing to him, pushing as far as she could and getting the rest off by kicking her legs and using her feet. She let go of him and twisted around, rising up to straddle him but not to sheathe him.

His eyes flew open, hot, dark and dilated, narrow with questions.

"Dan," she choked. Her voice was raw "I…So close."

He nodded, understanding. Jillian braced her hands on his shoulders and pressed down on his cock, his hips caught tightly between her thighs. Without taking him inside she rode him, slid the whole hard length of him back and forth, making sure to hit the same sweet spot over and over until the rush began.

She loved him so completely – because he was Daniel, because he was so brilliant and so maddening and so unpredictably predictable, because he offered her his body willing when so many before her had simply taken it as if they had a right to. She loved him beyond any rational explanation.

So much that she thought she might implode from it. She got swept away in a climax so intense the room whited out, sensation slamming into her as she clutched his shoulders and collapsed against his chest.

"_Oh god, Daniel oh god baby so good so good." _She writhed on him, gasping, threw her head back, eyes closed as her body rocked with pleasure.

It was a long time before she came back to Earth. When she did she realized that Daniel was holding her hips back, supporting her so that their child wasn't getting crushed between them. His mouth was kissing and sucking on whatever part of her it could reach – her shoulders, neck, face. He was murmuring something into her ear that she couldn't quite make out but it sounded like love.

It made her love him more. She rolled to the side and rested in his arms for a moment. A slight sheen of sweat had appeared on his skin, making him glisten.

"I …" She began, "Love you. Love you so much."

"I know," he said, 'You just told me."

"We're not done," she said.

He grinned a little. His eyes were soft, sexy, crinkled at the corners. "No. I hope not. Go back to what you were doing?"

His voice was hopeful and she smiled a little wickedly as she slid back down his body. Now he tasted salty, aroused. He was hard, dripping and when she touched him again he made a noise of wordless pleading, lifting up eagerly. She circled her tongue over smooth sensitive flesh and he made another sound, as if he was in pain.

Jillian teased him until he was gasping and groaning, sounding desperate, and she was thinking that a desperate Daniel was a lovely thing. Then she put her mouth over it entirely, sucking as much of it as she could as far as she could. Hard and smooth against her lips, sliding easily, in and out, one hand massaging his balls, allowing him to thrust his hips gently.

She kept it up until he was starting to beg, enough to keep him on the edge but not push him over. His fists were clenched in the sheets. His heels were dug into the mattress.

"Jill, please, need you, want you….just you, baby, just you, always _you_."

Up to this point Daniel had not moved from the place she had directed him, content to let her stroke and caress and tease and torment, lick and kiss and nuzzle him into complete surrender. But now he slid down so that he was lying fully stretched out on his side. The movement startled her. She sat back, hands on her thighs, watching him. Daniel reached for her, his fingers insistent on her wrist and pulled her to face him, stretch out with him.

Jillian went back to stroking him while he tried to keep them both distracted from it with searing kisses. His hands were everywhere for a while, bringing her back up to the edge and feeding his own arousal.

"Jill, I'm…." he began, then broke off, gasped, groaned her name, "_Jill…_"

They were so close he could feel her smile. She didn't answer in words. She rolled over so that she was facing away from him and snuggled back, slotting her body against his. Her back was pressed to the expanse of his chest. The sweet curves of her bottom settled on his thighs. He locked one arm from her waist to her shoulder, across her breasts, holding her tight. The other he put under her head. That hand found hers. Fingers laced.

Jillian put her leg over his hip and wiggled so that his cock was in position, inviting and still teasing. He thrust up and she felt him slide into her. She welcomed it, pressing back and down, wanting all of him. This time the helpless whimpering eager noises were coming from her.

When he was there, sheathed, fully connected to her they lay still for a long, rich moment. He had his face in her hair, breathing deeply. He laid a kiss on the back of her head. Then Jillian moved, rolled her hips as much as she could, moved up a little and then down. Her hand clutched the arm that was across her body.

Daniel moaned and kissed and sucked her neck. His chest was broad and strong, moving against her back, solid and supportive. It didn't take them long to work out a rhythm, Daniel thrusting and Jillian rocking lightly. It encouraged him to move faster than he might have. Daniel – even Daniel so turned on he couldn't think – was still cautious about making love, still afraid he was going to hurt her or the baby.

She closed her eyes so she could concentrate on the feeling. The heavy fullness inside, the way he was hitting a series of sweet, sensitive spots, Daniel's gasping breaths hot and rhythmic, the burst of pleasure that was almost pain whenever Daniel hit a spot deep inside. But all of it was secondary to being in Daniel's arms, feeling Daniel's body merged with hers in pursuit of ecstasy. She ran her hand over his arm again. She was locked in his desire, in his strength. She felt safe with Daniel. He amazed her. He loved her with an astonishing fierceness. He would do anything for her.

She wanted to get lost in him and never return. The pressure built, the incredible cascade of sensation began to pool again.

"_Daniel,"_ she gasped. She was so close, riding an excruciating edge until the waves began and she was coming, pulsing, crying his name between sobs of pleasure. She shuddered helplessly, wracked and limp in his arms, clenching so tightly he had to work harder to push into her body.

Her body gradually relaxed against his. She was still breathing hard, moaning as little aftershocks rocked her. He rode that with his face now buried in her neck and shoulder and hair. He wanted to wait, she could tell. He wanted to try bringing her up again as he had in the past.

It was tempting. But she could feel how hard he was and how he was shaking. She pushed down on him, forced him to experience each aftershock with her, one after the other.

"Show me how much you love me, Daniel," she whispered. "Show me how it's me and no one else."

It was always like this with Daniel – the wild desperate moment just before he climaxed, a moment so sacred Jillian always thought her heart might shatter from the beauty of it.

He gave two spastic jerks of his hips and groaned so low in his chest Jillian felt it as a deep vibration through her entire body. His breathing grew quicker, more harsh and his movements became frantic, like he couldn't get deep enough no matter how hard he tried.

He came hard, muscles taut and straining as he shot with repetitive grunts of pleasure. He sounded like he always did when he climaxed – shocked and delighted, as if he had forgotten about his own release, or that it could feel this good.

He went boneless against her, chest heaving. Jillian turned so that she had almost on her back. His arm was still draped over her. She dragged the other down too. He leaned down and kissed her, slowly, with a sigh. His lips moved from her mouth to her temple, to her hair. He rested his chin on the top of her head and sighed again.

Jillian didn't ask him if that was what he had wanted. She knew. He was feeling sated and loved and sleepy. Just as she was. She rolled over some more and got upon her elbow. She loved the way he looked now – his hair was a mess, his eyes half-closed in a dazed, satisfied way, his cock softening and going lax. There was a red mark on his neck where she had sucked hard enough to bring blood to the surface. She felt a flush of triumph for having marked him as her own. It might be foolish, but she felt it anyway.

"Tender like water," Daniel said in his soft, 'reciting from memory' voice, "is your passion. It fills my dreams, our hearts joined for every day and every morrow, to the end of time our love will hold."

She watched him, but he never opened his eyes all the way as he spoke.

"What is that from?"

"A parchment we also found on P4S-559. It's a series of love poems."

"They sound lovely. I'd like to read them."

He smiled, shifted a little, snuggled closer. "Some of them are confusing. One says 'we will stay together in marriage forever and live and love inside a frog."

She waited for him to explain and when he didn't she started to giggle. It never occurred to her to ask if he was sure. He was Daniel Jackson. Of course he was sure. She started to laugh.

"What in the world does that mean?"

"No idea," he sighed.

She laughed a little more, running her fingers in aimless patterns on his chest. He was growing heavier as sleep claimed him.

"Daniel?"

"Mmm?"

"Can we stay in marriage forever?"

"Uh-huh," he anwered, drowsy now, slurring a little, "We just have to find a frog."

She laughed again and then held him while he drifted off to sleep.

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	207. Chapter 207

Jillian waited until Daniel was completely asleep before she slipped out of the bed. She wanted to stay with him, lie down and sleep in contentment and love.

But that little coil of anger was still inside her and she wanted it gone. She was trying to give Vala a break. She didn't know Daniel's history and, as he had pointed out, she wasn't from around here. It was time – past time – to make something _very_ clear to Vala Mal Doran.

She got dressed and quietly left the room, easing the door closed behind her. She didn't bother to shower or brush her hair. If she looked just-fucked so much the better.

It was a short walk down the hall to the quarters that had been assigned to Vala. The SF at the door straightened a little more when he saw her. Apparently, Mitchell _had_ taken care of making sure they understood 'guard duty' a little better.

This SF recognized her, of course.

"Is she in there?" Jillian said, pointing at the door.

"Yes, Dr. North," he answered.

"Open the door."

He complied, using a security card. The door clicked open and Jillian walked in.

Vala, wearing a blue jumpsuit, was seated at a small round table playing cards with Cameron. They both looked up and blinked.

Cameron stood up because his grandmother had taught him to do that when a lady entered the room and the Air Force had made sure he got the same message.

He had no doubts that Jillian was a lady – and the lady was pissed.

She stopped after only taking a few steps from the closed door. Her eyes locked on Vala.

"Leave. Him. Alone," she said, tightly.

Cameron took a step towards her.

"Jillian," he began soothingly.

It was a mistake. He saw it in the flash of her eyes. God, this woman could take him out with a look. She didn't need all the enhanced training Teal'c had given her.

If Vala was fazed at all, she didn't show it. Heaven help them all…

"So you're here to do what? Fight me for him? Tell me he's yours and hands off?"

Jillian shook her head. "You don't get it. Daniel isn't mine. Daniel doesn't belong to anyone but himself."

"I beg your pardon?" Vala said, clearly put off balance now.

"My husband is not your sex toy," Jillian said in a low, deadly voice, "He doesn't exist just to service your needs and you will _never_ ask him to do something like that ever again. He isn't a paid escort and he most certainly is not so desperate that he needs to warm his bed with you! He isn't a whore and you will not ever treat him like one or you _will_ answer to me. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day you will answer to me for doing that to him."

Mitchell blinked. He had expected her to claim Daniel, point out that they were married and he belonged to her. He had not expected this at all. His thoughts went to all the reports he had read, all the times Daniel had been used by someone else.

_Hathor, Machello, the crew of the Stromos, Harlan who had used him to make an android copy, aliens from P3x-118….._

No wonder his wife was pissed. He had no doubt that Jillian meant it. If she thought Vala had upset Daniel, Jillian would probably rip the other woman's heart out.

She stopped looking at Vala and turned her fierce attention to Cameron.

"Keep her busy," she snapped it at him and then stopped and took a breath as if realizing that it wasn't Cameron she was upset with. "Please," she said, more softly.

"I'll do my best," Cameron promised.

Jillian nodded tightly, turned and left the room. She didn't slam the door but she did close it firmly enough so that it could be heard.

Cameron exhaled a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He hoped that this situation with Vala could be brought to some kind of peaceful ending. For Daniel's sake he hoped they could find a way to separate them permanently.

For his own sake, he hoped he could find a reason for Vala to stick around. Having someone with the kind of understood power that Daniel Jackson could wield angry with her wasn't going to advance his cause.

"Mitchell?" Vala said.

"Yeah."

"It's your turn."

"Yeah," he said, "I guess it is."

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	208. Chapter 208

They rounded a corner on their way to the elevators and found Jillian walking towards them. She swept Daniel with an intense, measuring look and his footsteps faltered for just a moment. Then he pushed forward, past everyone else and caught his wife in a hug that almost knocked the wind out of her. Her arms went around him tight.

"_Wo cao_, Daniel," she said. "First the leather pants and now a suit. Are you trying to kill me?"

Daniel took her hand and guided her into another room, out of the hallway. It was a general purpose holding room with bland chairs and a single table. Jillian took him by the front of his jacket and walked backwards until she hit the table, dragging him with her. She scooted up on the table knowing her legs were too weak to hold her, opened her knees and pulled him close. She ran her hand over his bearded jaw and down his throat and over the broad, solid shoulder under the layers of suit coat and silk shirt.

He leaned into her. Jillian felt a warm ecstasy everywhere they touched. The wool of his jacket was soft on her bare arms. She was primed for him, ready to response instantly to the slightest touch. She had wanted that touch for years when it was unattainable and forbidden. Having it for the last five years had not changed her reaction to it.

She licked her lips as if her throat was dry and then kissed him. She kissed him hard, prying his mouth open with her lips and slipping her tongue inside, forcing him to sink further still into the kiss. He kissed back as if he wouldn't even consider pulling away from her.

It took her a moment to realize that the way he was kissing her wasn't the same way she was kissing him.

Jillian was blazing with need that had caught fire the moment she had seen him. Her libido was nearly always on the edge the last few weeks anyway. She'd been relieved to see him, turned on instantly by the sight of him in a suit.

She had been kissing Daniel in a million different ways for the last five years. She knew them all and each one was different, every time. There was no passion in this kiss, no prelude to desire, no banked ember waiting to engulf them both in flame.

This was Daniel desperate and frustrated and searching for his true north. This was Daniel needing to find the one thing he believed in without reservation – her love for him. Daniel was trying to kiss slowly, deeply as if she were the only thing in the world that mattered.

Jillian had thought something like this might happen. Daniel was unmoored now. He had been focused on Atlantis – _very_ focused. So the fact that he had lost yet another family hadn't seemed to occur to him. SG1 had anchored Daniel for eight years, supported him and been there for him in every way conceivable. Now they were gone. Certainly not lost in the same way as his parents or his family on Abydos. But gone nonetheless.

He'd had his parents for the first eight years of his life. He'd had SG1 for the last eight years. There was a kind of symmetry there, Jillian thought. Sixteen years that had given Daniel love and wonder and adventure beyond imagining, divided and bookending his life. But he – Daniel Jackson - had been formed during the years in between. In those years learning and knowledge and everything he could cram into his head were the only things he was guaranteed to keep. What he _knew_ was the only thing that no one could take away, no matter how many time he was forced to move.

Jillian understood that he still felt that way. When Daniel woke up now from nightmares they were about losing her, losing the baby or the unbearable loss of them both.

He was shaken now. So she forced away the thoughts and needs that wouldn't help him.

Jillian tried to soften her kiss, to receive and not demand. But his nearness was too much in her current state of heightened awareness. So she turned her face away, catching him off guard. He almost fell against her, startled off balance. He regained his footing quickly. Then leaned his forehead on hers and breathed heavily, as if he had been sobbing though of course she knew he had not. She put her hand on the back of his neck.

"Daniel," she whispered, "Give me a moment."

"Why? What's wrong?"

Jillian looked back into his wide confused eyes. She smiled, kissed the corner of his mouth and said, "Baby, we're not on the same page at the moment. I'm not sure we're even in the same book."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

Jillian hopped down off the table and eased him backwards. He didn't back away completely, staying in her body space, breathing her presence and her precious nearness. She didn't want to tell him that every muscle in her body was pleading to be taken. Hard.

But the last thing Daniel need at the moment was for his wife to treat him the way Vala did. She loved his body. She craved it. But she loved the man inside it more.

_Wait,_ she thought. _Listen._ She took his face between her hands.

"What happened in DC?" She asked.

Daniel blinked when her response didn't seem to have anything to do with his question. Then his eyes slid shut briefly and he exhaled an exasperated breath.

"Did Vala do something?" Jillian prompted.

"No," he said, then immediately, "Yes. But I don't think she made the situation worse and I can't even say I actually disagree with her. The good news is that her outburst made Landry rethink the whole Lucian Alliance problem and reconsider getting her permanently disconnected from me."

A wave of relief almost buckled her knees. She perched on the table again and drew him in closer but this time it was just to offer the comfort of her presence. He stepped in gratefully. If he could sense a change in her mood he gave no indication of it.

"That's good, bǎobèi," she said, "That's really good."

"The only good thing to come out of it," Daniel growled. His voice had the same quality as metal tearing.

She knew this Daniel, too: the one who fell easily into icy anger at the stupidity and blindness of others, of those who couldn't see the same clearly obvious thing he could. She slid her hands under his jacket at the shoulders and started sliding it back. He resisted for a moment and then surrendered. The suit coat slipped off, down his long powerful arms and past his heavy male wrists and hands. He gathered it and put it on the table, off to the side. Jillian put her hands on his shoulders and started to coax tense muscles to relax.

After a moment she realized that he was too wired for her to work on him from this position.

"Daniel, sit down," she said.

He looked puzzled again but complied with a sigh of relief. He sank into the chair and put his long legs out in front of him, spread apart. Jillian moved behind him and worked at his tie until it was loose enough to get over his head. Then she lifted his glasses, mindful of the sore spot behind his ear. He sighed again a little. She loosed his collar and then started massaging the tightness in his shoulders again, working out the knots with practiced skill.

After a moment Daniel let out a groan that almost sounded the same as sexual release.

"Oh," he murmured, "Right there. Yeah."

Jillian felt a pang of physical desire again that she repressed with effort.

"That's a particularly nasty knot you've got there, Daniel Jackson," she said, "You want to tell me what's got you this tense?"

He grunted but didn't say anything else.

"So I take it they haven't changed their minds about cutting the budget?" She asked lightly.

"Understatement," Daniel murmured. He lowered his chin so that she could work on his neck.

He had a stunning neck. Jillian had always loved the strong, proud column and liked it much better after he had cut his hair and revealed more of it. She pressed thumbs into the back of it and he groaned again.

"So call Sabrina," she said.

Daniel's head instantly snapped up. He sat upright, losing the defeated sprawl and becoming alert.

"What?"

"Call Sabrina. Talk to Langford-Littlefield," Jillian said. "Do you think Ernest or Catherine would want the Stargate budget cut so the government could build more warships? Sabrina will know that. The Foundation is about exploration. "

"They're still kind of upset that I didn't make it to Atlantis," he said. But his eyes were moving rapidly back and forth as he processed new information.

"Call Jack," Jillian said, "He'll call and talk to her too."

"I hadn't thought of that." His voice was barely a whisper.

Jillian gave up the deep massage and started scratching her nails up and down his back in the way that always caused chills to rise on his skin.

"What's your IQ again?" Jillian teased.

Daniel turned and looked up at her and, while he didn't exactly break into a wide and beautiful smile, something in his eyes broke like a sunrise.

This time he reached for her, guided her around the chair and pulled her down into his lap. He stared at her intently; as intently as someone could whose expression was a heart-melting softness of adoration and amazement.

This time his kiss was full of gratitude. Jillian held back from it. Received without reservation. Inside she was melting all over again as his sweet, stubborn, articulate and once-unobtainable mouth made love to hers.

_Ah, Daniel…_

"I love you," he said, eyes closed, furry cheek rubbing hers, noses rubbing. "Don't ever doubt that, Jill."

"I don't," she assured him.

He stood up, strong enough to lift both of them and set her back on her feet gently.

"Let's go back to our room." He said.

"And when he get there?"

"I'll let you take the rest of this suit off," he offered, with a slow and sexy smile.

Jillian hesitated. "If it will help you relax" she began slowly.

He ran a hand over her cheek. It was the caress of an aroused and interested lover. It was the touch of Daniel – her beloved and longed-for husband.

"It will," he said.

(0)


	209. Chapter 209

At some point Jillian thought she would lose track of how many times Daniel had died, or almost died or been presumed dead. But she never had – and since Vala had come into their lives the count had been increased by three.

Now it might be four. He was trapped on a plague world. Everyone around him was dying and so far he had remained unaffected but there was no guarantee of that continuing. He was, after all, not a real super hero. He was human.

Jillian wasn't even sure how to process that anymore. So she stared out the window of Gerald Mallory's Chevy Silverado and watched the Colorado scenery pass by in a kind of drugged state, numb with a heart pounding fear buried somewhere deep inside.

For some reason she kept flashing back to the first staff meeting the Archaeology/Translation department of the SGC had held in those very early days. The days when Daniel's hair had still been long and looked like watered silk and the eyes behind his glasses had been haunted blue. He had told his very small staff he was part of a field unit and, as such, he wouldn't be available all the time. He needed them to be able to function in his absence. Since she was the only other staff member who had also been assigned to a field unit Jillian had understood at the time. There had been some grumbling in the other ranks but eventually they had all learned to live with Daniel's long absences.

Everyone but her.

Even before they were together she couldn't function in Daniel's absence. It was like a part of her was missing; and now, even carrying a part of him beneath her heart, she missed him like the moon would miss the water.

"You want to stop for anything at the house?" Mal asked her.

His hands were firm on the steering wheel. His voice was gruff and he only glanced at her briefly when he spoke. Jillian didn't answer right away because she had to force herself to think.

"Jill?" He prompted.

"Um, no," she shook her head, "I don't think so. I… I don't want to go to the house right now."

He glanced at her again. "Okay," he said, "If you think of anything we'll send Lawrence."

"Scotty?" Jillian said, "I thought we were going to your house."

"We are," Mal answered, "The whole team is there."

Jillian blinked at him but he didn't say anything. Of course the whole team wasn't 'there' because two of them were in the cab of this truck. But they would be soon enough. Mal's face was set and his attention seemed to be entirely on the road. Jillian knew that wasn't the case. The man hardly spoke and he rarely changed expression. Not much more anyone could expect from a man whose Air Force call sign was 'Rushmore'. He had always been handsome too and age hadn't changed that. He was a rugged mix of Harrison Ford, George Clooney and maybe a little Clint Eastwood. He had turned down promotion twice to stay with SG8. He had inspired them, led them and willingly given his strength to them so that they could do things she had never imagined were possible.

She shouldn't have been surprised when he showed up in the door of Daniel's office looking like a thundercloud.

"What are you doing" He demanded.

"Working," she had answered slowly.

She knew that look on his face, that tone in his voice.

"Get up. Get your stuff." It had been an order, like the ones he had given every morning they had ever broken camp.

"Where are we going?" Jillian had asked, rising.

"My house and if you argue with me I have to drag you there even if you're screaming bloody murder about it." It had been a long sentence for Mal and he had sounded just a little grumpy.

"Did your wife threaten you with a frying pan again?" Jillian had guessed.

"The minute I told her Daniel was missing," Mal had acknowledged.

Being a very smart woman Jillian recognized a battle she couldn't win. She obeyed Mallory then, because somehow he had made a female scientist a part of a working military unit, part of a team. They called her 'Rose' – an unofficial call sign adopted on the spot when someone from another team had commented that Jillian was the rose among three thorns.

She obeyed him because she really didn't want his wife to smack him in the head with a skillet.

She had changed into jeans and a sweater, gotten some stuff she really didn't need just because he had told her to and he'd insist. Then she let him get her into the truck without too much fuss. She understood without Mallory having to explain that his wife – Liz – had insisted that he come for her. If Mal had become a surrogate father, over the years Liz had become a surrogate mother – especially now that Jillian was pregnant.

"Was Barbara very upset?" Jillian asked.

"A little," Mal drawled slowly, "Not at you, at me for not bringing you home sooner."

"What did you tell her about Daniel?"

"He's trapped behind enemy lines, possibly exposed to a deadly virus and we can't get a team in to extract him."

It was all true, from the point of view of their civilian families. Jillian wasn't sure when she had started to think of herself as 'not civilian.' She was, technically, and she certainly wasn't military. 'Civil Servant' was her job title. It was something in between really.

"Then," Mal went on, "she found out how long you've been on the Base without leaving and threatened to dent my head if I didn't go get you."

"How'd she find that out?"

"Lawrence," Mallory grunted, "Damn fool."

"Are they all at the house already?"

Mal nodded. "Rusty and Scotty. Annie's there too."

"Nancy?" Jillian asked about Rusty's wife.

"Home with the kids; or she was when I left. She was coming over later. We're going to barbecue some steaks. That sound good?"

Jillian nodded even though it didn't really. She didn't feel like eating even though she knew she had to. It should have caused a warm flutter in her stomach to know how much she was loved by her other family. But she was still too numb.

Really, she wasn't sure she was up to being with a bunch of people. She just wanted to wait as close to the Stargate as possible.

"They'll call you," Mal said, reading her mind.

Jillian almost jumped. She hadn't gone off world with her team for nearly three months. She had forgotten Mal's apparent psychic ability.

"I know," she said and then turned to look out the window again.

"Jill?"

"Yes?"

"He still worth all this?"

Her head snapped back around. "Daniel?"

"Yes."

"Yes, Mal," she said with soft conviction, "He is."

Mallory let go of the steering wheel with his right hand, reached over and squeezed hers.

Later, she hadn't been in the front door of Mallory's suburban split level for more than ten seconds before she was being roundly hugged by Scotty. A few seconds after that Rusty had an arm around her shoulders. His blue-green eyes were filled with concern.

"Hey, Rose," he said, affectionately as he was dragging her to the recliner by the fireplace in the living room.

Liz was greeting her from the other side of the breakfast bar, bustling around her sparkling kitchen. Annie came in the sliding doors from the deck crushing up some plastic bags that had previously held crushed ice. Jillian knew that meant the cooler was being filled up with cans of beer and soda.

Scotty brought her a glass of ice water without asking and then settled on the arm of her chair as if he meant to take up guard duty there for the duration. Rusty sat down in the recliner beside hers. He leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and regarded her.

"How ya doing?" He asked.

Jillian looked around the room. She looked up at Scotty, towering over her like a sentinel; at Rusty leaning towards her and not being afraid at all to let her fall apart on him if that's what she needed.

In the kitchen Mal was standing at the sink with his hands on his wife's hips, saying something into her ear. He must have felt Jillian looking at him because he glanced over and the expression on his face was calm and confident. Annie was carrying two more bags of ice out to the deck but paused to give her a brave smile.

Quietly she said, "I'm much better now, Rusty. Thank you."

(0)


	210. Chapter 210

**Still tagging The Powers That Be and just because there was WAY too little Jack O'Neill in Season 9.**

**(0)**

When Scotty brought her back from the barbecue it was late. She wanted it to be over, wanted to come back to the base and find Daniel waiting for her. But she knew that he wasn't. Not yet.

Walter met them at the elevators and began a rapid-fire report of what was going on. By the time they parted company at the next set of elevators Jillian knew that Daniel was still stuck, the situation was still dire, but at least he wasn't sick.

"Oh," Walter said, "and Dr. North, General O'Neill is waiting for you in Dr. Jackson's office."

"General O – Jack?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Jillian looked up at Scotty. "I'm going to go find out what he wants," she said.

"Will you be all right?" Scott asked, anxiously.

"I think so," she said, "Will you be on the base?"

"For a little while. I told Annie I was going to wait until I knew you were settled."

"You shouldn't keep your girlfriend waiting because of me," Jillian said.

Scotty shrugged. "Colonel Carter sat with her when we were missing on PK6-511."

"I know, but –"

"No buts," Scotty said, "We're _family. _Daniel's going to be fine, Jillian."

"You don't know that," she said.

"Yeah, I do," Scotty said. "He's Daniel and he loves you. Do you remember the song you had me sing at your wedding?"

"Yes," she said, the memory catching at her heart.

"_In those times of trouble when you are most alone, the memory of love will bring you home_," Scotty recited quietly in his breath-taking baritone. "His memories of love are of you. You're his north star. He'll come home. Now, don't keep the General waiting," Scotty said.

He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead and Jillian clung to him for a moment.

"Thank you, _didi,_" she whispered.

When she got to Daniel's office she found Jack flipping through one of Daniel's books. It wasn't one of the giant history books, or even one of Daniel's journals. It was _Fish Keeping for the Serious Hobbyist. _Jillian wondered if there was something to that. Jack caught fish and ate them. Daniel kept them for pets. She watched as he put the book back on the shelf and turned to her.

"Jack?" she said.

"Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing?" Jack said.

He stood, opening his arms and she didn't hesitate to walk into them. This was Jack, and he had been the calm center of her world when everything else was tumbling down around her. Just his presence was a comfort. Her own team loved and supported her because she belonged to them. She was _theirs_, right or wrong. But the only ones who really knew what she was going through were the other people who loved Daniel.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

Jack hugged her and then shrugged as they separated. "Oh," he said, off-handedly, "you know. SG1. Thought I'd check up on them. They never call, they never write. I think they're seeing a new General."

In spite of herself Jillian smiled. But then she asked, tentatively, as if she really didn't want an answer. "Are you here because this is worse than it looks?"

"I'm here because the situation is as bad as it looks," Jack answered. He hesitated and then said, "We're getting ready to recall them."

"In spite of the disease?"

"Because of it. They've been exposed long enough. None of them are sick yet. Every day that passes increases their chances of catching it."

"They'll be quarantined."

"Yes."

"How long?"

Jack shrugged but there was a certain kind of darkness in his eyes that made Jillian shiver. "As long as it takes to be sure."

Jillian sighed and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Jack took her by the elbow and steered her into a chair. It was a relief to sit because she suddenly felt unbearably weary.

"I wish I could tell you more," Jack said, sincerely. He sounded like a man who was holding someone else's heart in his hands and desperately wanted to find a place to set it down.

She smiled bravely. "You mean you didn't go to DC and become the Great and Powerful Wizard?"

"Nope," he shook his head, "There's nothing but the man behind the curtain."

Jillian studied him. 'The man behind the curtain' had had a career in Black Ops and Special Forces that he was more than willing to let everyone forget about. But none of that experience would help them now – not against a foe like this.

"Is it wrong for me to wish he was just being pinned down by weapons fire?" Jillian asked.

"No," Jack said, with a sympathetic shake of his head.

"Sam is safe," Jillian said.

"Sam is safe," Jack agreed. It seemed to Jillian that he looked both relieved that the person _he_ loved wasn't in any danger and guilty that Daniel was.

"It's all right, Jack. I love her too," Jillian said.

Jack pulled a stool over and sat down on it. "Do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

"About what?" Jillian asked.

"Vala Mal Doran."

Jillian blinked and sat up a little straighter. There was no pretense in Jack O'Neill at the moment. He had traded the guise of laconic disinterest for the mantle of leadership, and Jillian recognized it immediately.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because Mitchell and Teal'c and Daniel almost died in Glastonbury and she slapped a bracelet on Daniel that almost killed him twice. All this Ori-related hell can be traced straight back to her and I wanted your opinion before I meet her."

"Why?" she asked, again.

"Because you've managed not to choke her, at least so far."

"Daniel is still connected to her," Jillian pointed out.

"Which is precisely why I should meet her as soon as they get back."

Jillian arched her eyebrows.

Jack held her eyes and there was something darker than night in his. Jillian got the feeling that if it was not for her connection to Daniel, Vala wouldn't be coming back through the Stargate; and if she did, there was going to be a one-way trip to Area 51 and a padded cell, courtesy of General Jack O'Neill.

"I need to meet her now," he said, tightly, "while I still trust myself not to kill her."

"When you reach that point," Jillian said, "I'll be happy to help."

"That," Jack said, "tells me just about everything I need to know."

(0)


	211. Chapter 211

When they finally let him out of quarantine with a clean bill of health, Daniel wasn't certain what mood Jillian would be in. They had spoken on the phone and she hadn't seemed angry. In fact, their conversations had verged on phone sex, held in check only by the fact that Daniel had been sharing a room with Mitchell.

"_Hi, baby, how are you?"_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_You didn't do anything –"_

"_Except scare the crap out of you again."_

"_So this is 'I-need-you-to-forgive-me-so-I-can-stop-feeling-so rry-about-something-I-had-no-control-over?"_

"_It's just sorry."_

"_Okay. Then I forgive you."_

_A long pause followed. Then,_ _"I miss you."_

"_I miss you too."_

"_This sucks."_

"_Yes, but it is better than you being dead. Again."_

"_Point taken."_

_Another pause, breathing, trying to reach through the phone with just the force of their love alone._

"_So, phone sex?"_

"_Jillian."_

_Laughter. "Do you know your voice drops a whole octave when you freak out?"_

_A glance at Mitchell, who had his eyes glued to the latest X-Men graphic novel and hopefully the smirk on his face had to do with what he was reading._

"_I am not fr-… not doing that."_

"_Hello? Is Dr. Jackson the brilliant linguist available? You know, the man who can speak in multi-syllable words and probably make phone sex spectacular?"_

"_Jill –"_

"_We could switch languages?"_

"_I'm not exactly alone here, baby."_

_Okay, Mitchell was definitely not smirking at the graphic novel. Daniel glared at him._

"_What?" Mitchell asked, gesturing with the novel. "It's Wolverine. He's funny."_

_Daniel shook his head and went back to the phone._

"_I'll be out of here in a few hours."_

"_Okay. I can wait. Just wear the leather pants again for me?"_

"_Sure. Whatever you want."_

"_I want to see if the manroot is in bloom."_

_He had choked, coughed, reached for the glass of water on the nightstand. "Jill-"_

"_Then I want to plant one in the love grotto."_

"_Jillian –" Breathless laughter. Getting hard just from the sound of her voice and the way she filled him with joy. "Stop it!"_

"_Plow a furrow in the moist, dewy garden?"_

"_Shut up!" Still laughing and knowing he looked like a man who was silly in love with his wife, and not caring. "Shut UP!"_

_The corners of Mitchell's mouth were twitching, but the man wisely fixed his eyes on the pages in front of him and said nothing._

"_I'll meet you when they finally spring you from there."_

"_Just a few hours. I promise."_

"_I love you."_

"_I love you, too."_

"_How much?"_

"_Longer than forever, till the end of time, more than the stars—"_

_Laughter. He could hear it in her voice, soft with affection, "There's my linguist. Okay, I get it. I'll see you soon."_

"_Soon."_

_From behind the graphic novel Mitchell said, singsong, "You hang up, no __you__ hang up, no you hang up—"_

"_Fuck off, Mitchell."_

_The smirk split into a grin. Daniel flung a pillow across the room and hit the grin, full bullseye._

"_What?"_

"_Nothing. Just Mitchell being an ass."_

"_Okay. I have to go. Bye, baby."_

"_Yeah. Bye."_

That had been hours ago. So Daniel was surprised by how nervous he felt walking down the hall from the quarantine rooms, watching for her to come around the corner. His throat went dry and his hands shook when he finally saw her walking towards him.

She was looking right at him. It had always been like that. No matter what happened, Jillian always looked straight at him – unafraid.

He always looked back.

But the look in her eyes was still like the sun rising in his heart. It said he was still the one she longed for, that he was still the end of her rainbow. He knew that look in her eyes. It was the one that came just before her passionate kisses and right after her satisfied sighs.

She slipped into his arms like the missing piece of his heart.

"You seem awfully happy considering what we just went through," he said, enfolding her, claiming her so that the muscles in his arms flexed with a thoughtless assertion of weight and strength.

Jillian's arms slid under his and curled up so that her hands rested on his shoulder blades.

"You're home. You're safe. You didn't die, not even a little bit. You just spent several hours with Vala hundreds of yards down the hall and didn't pass out." She paused and shrugged, smiled, "and I saw our baby and heard his heartbeat this morning. It would take a lot to make me upset right now."

"Damn," Daniel groaned. "The ultrasound! That was this morning."

"I got you a picture," she said. "He…he looks like a _baby_ now. For real."

Warmth swelled in his being. His arms around her got firmer, heavier, even though he laughed at her a little. For some reason he felt tears in the back of his eyes. He had never felt anything this good, this sweet.

"I don't think we can hide this anymore," Jillian said.

"I don't think I want to," Daniel had crushed her tight again. "I want to tell the world, Jill. But I always did."

"So we confirm the rumors?"

"Yep." He was nuzzling into her hair now.

They couldn't go home. They still faced another galactic threat.

But for the moment it was as if the sun was shining bright into the depths of Cheyenne Mountain and everything was beautiful and perfect.

(0)


	212. Chapter 212

Cameron had become kind of fond of First Thursdays at O'Malley's. It was a way of bonding, of starting to fit in. He no longer got the brief flashes of resentment from the men and women on the Base. The resentment had always been softened instantly by the respect he earned over Antarctica. But there was still a wall between him and a lot of the SGC. It was built on the appearance that because he was taking over SG1 he was somehow trying to take the place of Jack O'Neill. His insistence on wanting the original team back together wasn't helping his cause.

No one could take the place of Jack O'Neill and after the weeks Mitchell had been here they had gradually gotten the idea that Mitchell knew that. He had gone on a crusade to get to know everyone on the base, which was easy for him, really. He had a natural affinity for people. He haunted the infirmary. The staff no longer even remarked when he came by at odd hours with donuts and homemade cookies. He sat and ate and swapped stories about home and the SGC, Iraq and Afghanistan with the personnel who were stuck in there, recovering from one thing or another suffered off world.

When he was asked why one night, he said that hospital nights were long and hospital food was awful. He had never forgotten that.

When asked about the Ori and what happened on P8X-412 he didn't pull any punches. He told them the truth – that it hadn't been any kind of picnic and it was probably going to get worse. But he also told them that the people of the SGC had won two wars already by giving it every damned thing they had and that was how they were going to get through this.

It was what he would have needed to hear and he saw it in their faces. Gradually they had stopped thinking of him as a Jack O'Neill wannabe and started seeing Cam Mitchell.

In the end, he learned more about life in the program from those who had been wounded by it than he had from the stacks of SG1 reports he had read from cover to cover.

He thought now it might be time to start reading reports from SG8. Maybe then he could get a handle on Jackson's wife. In some ways she was more enigmatic than Jackson himself, but Cam had discovered that she would talk to him about Daniel. He had a feeling that Daniel was starting to waver in his determination not to join Mitchell on the frontlines again. It was just damned hard to get a read on the guy. He seemed to always have his heart on his sleeve, yet live in a cautious, guarded state all at the same time.

Daniel had closed up tighter than a boot-camp bed sheet when they got back from the plague planet. Cam had shared a quarantined room with Jackson for 24 hours, and while Daniel had been willing to listen, he himself had hardly made a sound. The only time Daniel had been animated at all was talking on the phone with Jillian.

He went looking for Jillian the afternoon of the Thursday after they had gotten back from P8X-412, and found her in the base library. There was an entire section unofficially known as the Jackson Wing, made up of books Daniel had filed and catalogued and put there when he had run out of space in his office. At the moment, the room's only occupant was Jillian.

She smiled when he came in and he registered in some part of his brain how beautiful she was when she smiled – the way she tilted her head slightly to the left and looked straight at a man with those dark green eyes. Cam thought, not for the first time, that Jackson was a lucky man.

"Hi, Cameron," she said. "How are you feeling?"

"Just fine, thanks," he answered. "I was wondering if I could talk to you."

Jillian sat down at the wooden table, which was strewn with papers, notes, pencils, open books and her laptop. She looked like a college student cramming for finals.

"About what?"

"Daniel."

The answer caught her off guard. He saw it in the confused flicker that haunted her eyes for a moment.

"Daniel," she repeated. It wasn't a question. There was hardly any inflection in her voice at all.

"Yeah," Cam sat down across from her and slouched, trying to look less threatening. "I guess I want to ask you the same thing you asked me. Is he all right?"

"As well as can be expected under the circumstances," she answered, hesitantly.

"Circumstances," Cam repeated, trying to draw her out. "You mean the way we left P8X-412?"

"Yes," she said.

Cam sat and waited quietly. Eventually it worked.

"He's shaken up, Cameron," Jillian said.

"Because he couldn't talk them around?" He guessed.

"Not just that," she paused and shuffled some things around on the desk. It looked to Cameron like she was building a line of defense between them, a bulwark against what he was asking. "Daniel has failed to talk his way out of things before. Not every mission ended without shots being fired."

"Like when he rescued the Unas Chaka from slavery?" Cameron asked.

"Yes," she agreed. "But in the past when his peaceful solutions didn't work he would accept the more violent alternative. Now….. now it seems that talking isn't going to work and there is no alternative. Even when talking works now, the people he convinces to reject the Ori will be punished."

"So he's feeling frustrated?" Cam said.

"Yes," Jillian said, "and more, probably. Daniel is…complicated, Cameron. Put a problem in front of him and he'll try to solve it. Put a world in front of him and he'll try to save it. Until those problems are solved and that world is saved, don't get in his way. He's like the tide. You shouldn't try to swim against the tide."

Cameron nodded and stood up. "Thank you. Are you guys coming tonight? To O'Malley's?"

Jillian's nose wrinkled. "We'll have to bring Vala."

Which was exactly what Mitchell was hoping but he didn't say as much. He shrugged instead and tried not to think about Vala with anything but a peripheral awareness. Something about Vala hurt and felt good all at the same time.

"Could be interesting," he commented. "It might wear her out. It would be nice to spend a few hours not listening to her complain about being bored."

"Who listens?" Jillian asked.

Cameron laughed. "Right now she's in her quarters watching season three of 'Star Trek: the Next Generation'. So at least she isn't complaining about anything at the moment."

"'Star Trek: the Next Generation'?"

"She likes it. She thinks we should be working on building a hyperlight drive like theirs and she wants to meet Riker. I think she also wants to get back out into the galaxy to look for dilithium."

"She knows this is fiction?"

Cameron shrugged. "I tried to explain that."

"It will be hard to get clearance for her to leave the base for something like First Thursday," Jillian pointed out. "They'll be worried about her going AWOL."

"But you'd like to get Daniel out of here for a while," Cameron finished the thought for her. When it came to her feelings for Daniel, Jillian wasn't as opaque as she was about other things.

"Yes, I would."

"And she wants to get out of here too. It might make her act for once like something other than a colossal, epic, huge, alien pain in the ass."

Jillian laughed. "You never know."

He grinned back at her, feeling almost as if they'd made a connection. It helped him stop thinking about Vala, about what she might wear if he could take her to O'Malley's and if she would dance with him.

"I'll go see about getting her cleared," Mitchell said.

She stopped him before he walked out the door.

"Cameron?"

"Yes?"

"I'm very glad you didn't die," she said, sincerely.

It touched him for some reason. It was almost like something she would say to one of Daniel's real teammates.

"Thanks," he said.

(0)


	213. Chapter 213

Jillian returned to the quarters she shared with Daniel not long after Cameron left her in the library. She came in with her laptop and a stack of books balanced in one arm. She turned to close and lock the door and when she turned back, Daniel was standing in the bathroom door, shirtless. He had a vague, distracted look on his face – the kind she usually had fun erasing. It meant he could be a million miles – and in their case a million light years – away, and she enjoyed bringing him back to Earth.

She swept him with an appreciative look, but when she got to his face his expression had changed to one of mild shock.

"What are you doing?" he asked, crossing the distance between them in two strides.

He took the books and laptop from her with no finesse whatsoever, just gathered them and pulled.

"I'm carrying some books. Daniel, what the hell?"

"You're…you're," he sputtered in a kind of disbelief, his eyes boring into hers. "You're carrying our child."

Jillian gave an exasperated, affectionate sigh. "I'm not helpless!"

He ignored her, taking the books and computer to the desk and setting them down firmly.

"Remember that little stack of notes you gave me? The ones entitling me to one hour every day of uninterrupted fussing?"

Jillian folded her arms. Daniel's expression had gone from frowning to downright arrogant in a lazy kind of way. It caused a small flutter in her stomach that had nothing to do with the baby. "Certificates of Fussing," she said. "You're redeeming one of them now?" She had made them as a joke, really. He took them far too seriously.

"Yes. We can get away from Vala for up to three hours and I want to take you out to dinner."

"Before we go to First Thursday at O'Malley's?"

"Yes."

She continued to regard him thoughtfully.

"You're not allowed to argue," Daniel said.

"Am I allowed to make a request?"

Daniel looked startled. "Sure?" he said.

"I love you for the thought, but I really don't want to go out to dinner."

"You don't?"

"No. I've been eating commissary food for weeks. Can't we just pick up something to make and go home?"

_Home._ She said it so wistfully that Daniel felt his heart clench in his chest.

"Of course. I'm an idiot. I should have known you wanted to go home. _I_ want to go home."

"Then you don't mind?"

"No! Can I shower before we go? I just left the gym."

"No, that's fine. I can keep working on–"

"Nope," he shook his head firmly. "You can take a nap."

"But –"

"Aht!" he said, and Jillian ground her teeth because he sounded exactly like Jack O'Neill. Daniel dug into his back pocket and pulled out a little piece of parchment-colored paper, rolled in a scroll and tied with a red ribbon. "It says here," he paused to unroll it and read, "'This entitles the Bearer to one hour of fussing free of grumbling or complaining or stalling,' and it's signed by you. In your handwriting. It even says 'Jillian North-Jackson', not just Dr. J A N and the incomprehensible squiggle."

He was walking towards her again. Jillian felt a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth and knew it was already in her eyes.

"Daniel–" She began.

Then his mouth was covering hers and whatever she had been about to say didn't seem important anymore. Without breaking the series of short, tender kisses Daniel bent slightly, scooped her up and carried her to the bed.

"Usually when you do this, you aren't interested in sleeping," she commented.

"Usually you aren't talking about going to O'Malley's and being out late."

"It's not a 'school night'."

He deposited her on the bed and arranged pillows under her head. Then leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose.

"No complaining," he reminded her. "Comfy?"

"Yes."

"Need anything?"

"No."

Daniel straightened back up and for a moment he looked uncertain.

"Okay, there's just one more thing."

"What?"

Instead of answering Daniel left her and went in to the bathroom. He reappeared in the doorway holding his razor and a can of shaving cream. Jillian lifted up on her elbows and studied him thoughtfully.

"Is this your way of telling me you're going back to SG1?"

"I actually haven't made a decision about that," he answered.

Jillian sat up. "I thought you had, and it was 'no'."

"That was before," he said. "But we didn't go to Atlantis and things may become more difficult now with all this...stuff. It'd be easier for me."

Jillian looked up into the summer-sky blue of his eyes and saw regret, resolve, and hope.

"Kiss me one more time first," she said finally.

Daniel sighed as if he had been holding his breath. He returned to her, put one knee on the bed and leaned over to give her a kiss that was everything _he_ was – tender and sweet and demanding, hard and firm, insistent and content.

At some point during the tender and insistent and everything-else kiss, Jillian forgave him. He stopped kissing and rubbed his cheek gently against hers. It was so bone-meltingly wonderful that Jillian started to come unraveled, shivering from the sheer joy of it. She turned her head to find his mouth again and brought her palms up to cradle his face, reverently.

"I love you, Daniel," she said, "Not just the package that holds you, but the man inside."

Daniel squeezed her wrist, rested his forehead on hers for a moment. Then his fingers moved up to touch her hand, graze against the rings she wore on her third finger – the symbols of their commitment, their partnership.

Their love.

He was fiercely glad to be her husband and the father of her child.

"Get some sleep," he urged.

She didn't say anything else, just watched him disappear back into the bathroom. Lying down on the pillows she stared at the ceiling for a while, trying to do what he said.

But one thought kept spinning around in her head, refusing to let her sleep.

_Why, Daniel, _she wondered, _does the battle always seem to come to you?_

(0)


	214. Chapter 214

**This will begin a few chapters set during the SGC's First Thursday tradition at O'Malley's.**

(0)

Cameron was perched on the edge of the horseshoe-shaped bench with a glass of beer in front of him and Scott Lawrence next to him. Annie was next to Scotty, wedged in between her boyfriend and Teal'c. Across from Cam were Daniel and Jillian. Jackson was slouched back, with one hand on a sweating glass of beer and one arm slung all the way around Jillian so that his other hand was linked with hers. Daniel had placed Jillian between himself and Teal'c. Mitchell had a feeling that had been on purpose.

Teal'c was once again the designated driver but Cam hadn't seen Jackson take so much as three swallows all night, in spite of the fact that they were on their fourth pitcher of beer.

The occupants of his side of the horseshoe had changed on an almost regular rotation over an hour and half – sometimes Rusty Davidson and his vivacious wife Diane, sometimes Colonel Mallory, who was considering retirement and uncertain how many more First Thursdays he would be attending. Personnel from Daniel's staff cycled through briefly. Some of the men and women who had bonded with Cam during the long nights in the infirmary came to hang out with him. It went a long way to making him feel a lot less like 'the new guy'. He remembered all their names. Names, he had discovered, were important. They wanted to know that the man leading their most important team knew who they all were.

Never mind that their most important team still didn't exist.

Teal'c, Daniel and Jillian hadn't really moved all night. Mitchell hadn't really expected Teal'c to move. He had a way of taking a place and owning it. Jillian looked tired and unwilling to leave Daniel's side.

Jackson was just slightly shut down. He had gone through the motions of polite banter when his staff had visited their booth. He was attentive to Jillian's team mates when they addressed something to him. But mostly he just sat with his arm around Jillian, adjusting it when she moved. His other hand stayed on the glass of beer, his long fingers running up and down to make tracks in the moisture forming on the sides. Mitchell had watched him with sidelong glances, waiting for him to give something away. He didn't know what it was that he wanted Jackson to give away, just _something._

Cam understood now that everything he read in the mission reports had only left him with more questions when faced with the reality of the people who had lived them.

Mitchell wanted to talk to Jillian but the opportunity didn't present itself until Jillian asked her husband to get her an herbal iced tea. Daniel was out of the booth in a shot. At the same time Scotty and Annie decided to go start up the karaoke again. Mitchell got up so they could shimmy out of the booth.

As soon as they were gone Mitchell leaned forward immediately so he didn't have to yell over the noise in the bar.

"Is he all right?" Cam asked.

Jillian looked startled and Teal'c stirred, just the slightest shifting of his muscles and a perceived straightening of his spine. But it was enough to say that Teal'c was suddenly alert and Cam realized that maybe he didn't have the right to ask such a thing.

But, damn it, team or not, they had all just been through hell together and if he couldn't talk to Daniel he at least wanted to find out what was going on.

"With all that's happened?" Jillian finally said, slowly, "No I'm not sure any of us are all right. I…"

She paused and looked away, as if breaking eye contact somehow gave her privacy. When she looked back Cam had the feeling it was only because she had made a decision about how much to share with him.

"I asked him to take me home," she said, flatly, "It was wonderful while we were there. Then we had to leave again, and…well, he's been in a mood ever since. I think that while he was still on the base it was easy to stay focused on work. Home reminded him of everything we have at stake. I caught him leaning in the doorway to the baby's room. It's nowhere near ready but…" She shrugged a little. "I think we just really wanted to stay home."

_And they couldn't because I wanted to bring Vala here, _Cam thought.

Inside he gave a long heavy sigh. Yep, it was beginning to look like he couldn't see all the sides of an issue and that was something he had never considered before. He looked around the dimly lit bar until he found her. She was wearing a tight pair of blue jeans and a black turtleneck sweater borrowed from Jillian. Nearly every inch of her was covered and it was still impossible not to see exactly how her body was put together. Vala was obviously sexy and she knew it. It was almost campy at times, and overdone, but her affectations were more charming than off-putting (at least for Cam). Part of her sexiness was the overstated way she flaunted it.

There was a tight yearning in his chest suddenly that he couldn't fight and couldn't process. He was courting her and he knew it. He had been raised in a world where men were taught to court women, even the ones they slept with, especially the ones they married.

Vala was making the rounds, flirting with the men at the pool table with a wide smile and a-cat-who-finally-got-the-cream expression. As if she could feel him watching, Vala suddenly looked up and there was something almost warm and affectionate in her gaze, underneath her usual wary expression. Cam wrenched his eyes away.

"We don't have to stay long," he said to Jillian.

Jillian was also looking at him as was Teal'c. Not exactly looking maybe, more like assessing. He wondered if they knew about the feeling in his chest. Either eight years in the SGC gave people the ability to read minds, or his poker face wasn't what he thought it was.

Then Jillian smiled a little sadly and Mitchell was sure his heart would break from it. He had never seen anyone look so fragile.

"But Daniel and I still won't be going home. We'll all be going back to the mountain."

There wasn't anything he could say about that and he wasn't even sure why it made him feel guilty. He'd had nothing to do with the bracelets or the circumstances that still bound Vala to Daniel.

"It is not your fault, Cameron Mitchell," Teal'c said, and there was that damned SGC sixth sense again.

"I know," Cameron said tightly.

Then suddenly Vala was beside him, leaning over to pick up his glass of beer. She downed what was left in a single gulp and flashed a brilliant smile at him. Mitchell suspected she was little drunk. She was leaning on him heavily and then she nuzzled into his hair for a moment before standing up.

"Buy me a drink," she said, grasping his forearm in both her hands and pulling.

"I just did," he grumbled. But he got to his feet. "I'll get you a Coke."

"You are not fun," she pouted.

Mitchell rolled his eyes. Just as Daniel was returning with a glass of clear amber liquid with ice and a sprig of peppermint, Cam and Vala were leaving the table. The men made eye contact but in the dimly lit room and with Jackson's eyes hidden behind the reflection in his glasses, Cam wasn't sure what the conversation was.

"We'll be at the bar," he said.

Taking Vala's elbow he steered her through the crowd, holding her possessively at his side. Vala could flirt all she wanted but he fully intended to be the one sharing her room that night. In the meantime, they had just caught a glimpse of the new war that was coming. They were going to be fighting and bleeding and dying in the defense of Earth again. For the moment they deserved a little fun.

"Were you serious about the Coke?" Vala asked.

"Yes," Cameron answered, "But we can put a little rum in it too."

"What's rum?"

"You'll find out."

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	215. Chapter 215

Mitchell was still at the bar listening to the barkeeper explaining the finer points of rum to Vala. She was leaning forward, practically halfway across the polished mahogany surface of the bar, chin resting on her curled fingers with a look of studied fascination on her face. The barkeeper – whose name badge said "Kip", of all things – was young, handsome, no doubt one of the students from the University of Colorado and flirting with Vala with all the brashness of youth and good looks. Cameron knew she wasn't flirting back to make him jealous. She was flirting back because it was the most natural thing in the world to her.

Poor Kip was way in over his head, Cam knew. If Vala wanted to go home with anyone tonight it was probably still Daniel. Cam had never been able to shake the idea that he was somehow always going to be her second choice.

But she was happy with him at the moment, having gotten more to drink and having it put on his tab. Cam was about to ask her to go dance with him when there was a sudden commotion in the crowded room. It was the same kind of awed hush and then eruption of murmurs and sounds of elation that happened when the lights dimmed just before a rock star came on stage, or when a beloved basketball star hung in the air before scoring two points. It was wonder and awe and joy rippling through every soul in the building.

Turning in the same direction as every other head, Cam quickly saw why. Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter had just walked in, with a pretty young woman walking between them as if that was where she belonged. It took Cam only a second to realize it must be Cassandra Fraiser.

On a side note, Mitchell found himself thinking that the total alien count in the room had just gone up to three. That they knew of, anyway.

But immediately he was aware of Vala tensing up next to him. Her first – and last – meeting with Jack O'Neill had not gone well. It hadn't helped that none of her tricks or flirtations worked with him. It didn't help now that her connection to Daniel had still not been severed. Cam suspected she was the only person in the room less than thrilled by O'Neill's sudden presence.

"I think I need to go to the little girls' room," Vala said, slipping off the barstool.

"Oh, no you don't," Cam said, grabbing her upper arm in an iron grip. "There's a window in there."

"Is there?" she asked, brightly.

Cam frowned at her. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"To say howdy," Cam answered, steering her forcefully back to the table.

Vala tried digging her heels in but he propelled her forward anyway.

"Oh, now wait, Mitchell…Cam! I really don't think this is such a great idea…"

Something in her voice made him stop. She was seriously panicked, eyes wide.

"Can't we just dance?" she asked, but there was something _off_ in the winning smile she attempted. She moved her hand up to trail her fingers over his cheek and he shivered a little. "Please?"

She was so used to being told, "no;" so used to being ordered around here on Earth by people who really had no right to be ordering her around. She was so used to being denied that she was begging before he got a chance to formulate an answer.

All right, fine. A glance at the table showed the legendary SG1 happily engaged in a reunion that was all hugs and smiles. It looked private in spite of being in the middle of a crowded room. Daniel was fussing over Cassie Fraiser and whatever that was about, Cameron had never been part of it.

And Cam didn't want to be one more person pushing Vala to do something she didn't want to do. He had seen her pushed further than she could handle when they had broken the connection to the Ori galaxy and she had collapsed in tears against his chest. He never wanted to see that again.

"Okay, we'll dance," Cameron heard himself say.

Her face broke into an expression of satisfaction and joy – a smirk really, the infuriating one that he always wanted to wipe off her face one way or the other. On the good days it didn't involve strangling her.

And then Cameron thought about how Vala looked in his arms when it was just the two of them and she wasn't smirking at all.

And he knew he was in so much trouble, because he wanted that again. He wanted that as much as he could get it, as often as she'd let him.

For as long as she'd let him.

Defeated, Cameron let her drag him onto the dance floor.

(0)

The last thing Daniel had expected to see when he looked up to see what the fuss was about was Jack, Sam and Cassie. He was actually speechless for a moment, jaw dropped, staring. Then Jillian was pushing against him to get out of the booth and Teal'c was sliding around after her, literally shoving Daniel to his feet and into Sam's waiting hug.

"What are you doing here?" He finally managed to choke out as he lifted her off the floor in a bone-crushing embrace.

Daniel was aware peripherally of Jillian hugging Jack and then Jack sharing a quick, forearm-grasping, shoulder-touching hug with Teal'c. He let go of Sam just as Jillian moved in. He watched his wife embrace her best friend as if they had been separated for years. Tears pricked the back of his eyes and he was grateful for the dim lights as he leaned over to haul Jack briefly into a rough man-hug.

Then he was facing Cassie and folding her up in a strong welcoming hug. There was a cast on Cassie's left wrist and Daniel had a feeling that had something to do with why they were here. When Cassie required medical care, it was understood she would come to the SGC. Whatever had happened that had landed her in a cast no doubt had no needed more than an x-ray and a technician to do the work of putting it on. But Cassie was still an alien, with naquadah in her blood, and the rules about where she went to the doctor had existed before she had even known she could protest them.

"What did you do?" Daniel asked, setting her back and holding her by the shoulders.

Cassie rolled her eyes and tried to wave away his question. "I broke my wrist playing soccer."

Daniel's eyes went to Jack, the way they always had in the past, for clarification. Jack nodded.

"Yep," he said as they slipped back into the same positions in the horseshoe that they had always held – sandwiching Cassie between Sam and Teal'c, Jack on the end facing the door.

Daniel, back on his side of the booth in his customary spot, continued to look long and hard at Sam. They had been on the phone once a day for a week about Cassie. Daniel had been completely filled in on the late nights with no phone calls to say where she was, the speeding tickets, blowing off classes and assignments. Her grandmother was going into permanent care at a full-time nursing home and Cassie was losing the third home she had known in her very short life. Daniel found this very easy to relate to. But he hadn't handled the stress by acting out. Cassie was doing a bunch of things she knew her extended surrogate family wouldn't approve of as a form of nonverbal rebellion.

No doubt playing too rough at soccer had just been another one of those things.

She was slouching in the booth, hunkered down in the shadows and looking miserable.

"I take it there was an Asgard beam involved in getting her here from South Carolina?" Daniel guessed.

"Yes!" Cassie grumbled, "Like a _regular_ hospital couldn't do the same exact thing."

The members of the former SG1 exchanged glances. It would have been the first time Cassie had been back in the infirmary at the base – Janet's domain – since her mother's death. In hindsight it might have been a tactical error.

"Cassie," Sam said, in a casually neutral tone, "You wanted to come back here anyway to check into transferring to UCCS."

"Yeah, but I was picturing, you know, a jet liner."

Jack spoke up in a gruff attempt at smoothing the waters. "You know I _hate_ commercial flights."

Cassie shook her head and was about to speak when their server arrived. Jack ordered another pitcher of beer. Sam ordered Cokes for herself and Cassie. Cassie subsided into a sullen silence.

"So how long are you guys staying?" Daniel asked.

"A few days," Sam answered. "Cassie wants to check out the campus–"

"_You_ want me to check out the campus." Cassie interrupted.

"Hey," Jack said, with the first note of warning in his voice. Disrespect to Sam wasn't one of the things Jack tolerated well, Daniel knew.

"No," Sam said, quickly, "I want you to check out UNLV and come live with _me_."

"Why? So I can hang out in your apartment while you're gone all the time?" Cassie snapped.

Sam's teeth clenched. "I have to work, Cassie."

The teenager rolled her eyes as if she had heard that excuse a thousand times already and not just from Sam.

"Umm," Daniel said, breaking the flow of the conversation and the tension building along with it, "If you're going to be here for a few days why don't you stay at our house?"

"We wouldn't want to impose, Daniel," Sam said.

"No imposition at all," Jillian said, "We're still living on the Base until he can get permanently away from Vala. It would be a great relief to know someone was watching the house. You'd have it to yourselves."

All of Jack's attention was suddenly focused on Daniel.

"You still can't get away from Vala?" There was more than disapproval in his voice, "And I'm just hearing about this _now?"_

Daniel could tell that Jack was just this side of seriously pissed off. He narrowed his eyes and sat up straighter.

"There isn't anything you can do about it. You must have more important things to worry about in DC than how far I can get from Vala."

Jack leaned forward. "This isn't about me going to DC, Daniel."

"Isn't it? You left. You took the promotion, _Major _General. You must have thought we could all take care of ourselves without you."

"I do!"

"Then we'll handle it."

"And you're doing sooo well since I left. How many times have you almost died?"

""How many times did I die when you were _here_?"

"Not the point, Daniel."

"So the point, Jack!"

The two men held each other's gaze for an electrically-charged moment.

"They are arguing," Teal'c said, directing his comment to Sam.

"I know," she said, with gentle good humor and a slightly dopey smile, "It's just like old times."

Daniel shot her an inscrutable look. He wondered for a moment if she understood that he had baited Jack to take the heat off Cassie. One look in her shining eyes and he knew she had. A smile was tugging at the corner of her mouth.

"Look, Jack," Daniel went on, "It's wearing off a little every day. I can get further and further from her, and for longer periods of time. There _are_ more important things to be worrying about right now."

Their server came with their drinks and they managed to come to an agreement about staying at Daniel's house. Daniel had reached into his pocket for the keys but Jack had said,

"Don't bother. I still have my key to your house."

Daniel shook his head and took the longest swallow of his beer that he'd had all night. Jillian watched him for a moment and then shoved a hand against his arm.

"What?" he asked.

"I want some air, and I want to talk to Sam because I haven't seen her in ages," Jillian said, pushing him out of the booth, "and no, I don't want you to tag along. You can stay here and argue with Jack some more."

Daniel gave a single aggravated sigh but got out of her way. Looking excited by the prospect, Sam was already urging Jack to get up.

"Come on, Cassie," Jillian said, "I haven't seen you in ages either and it sounds like there's a lot we need to say."

Cassie echoed Daniel's aggravated sigh, but it sounded feigned, and there was some relief on her face.

She followed Sam and Jillian to the door and out into the clear, crisp Colorado autumn air.

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	216. Chapter 216

Cassie knew she was being a bitch to Sam and she couldn't help it. She knew that Sam loved her and over the years she had come to love Sam as well. It was just that Cassie saw the differences between them and Sam did not.

Ambition and the military were bred into Sam. She had been told from infancy that she could be anything she wanted. It was clear that Sam loved her job and she loved being in the military. There was always a certain wide-eyed panic on Sam's face whenever she had been required to step into the role of 'mother' to Cassie in any capacity. Sam was a great friend, a great listener and a great keeper of secrets. But Sam was also a very different person from Cassie.

If Cassie had stayed on Hanka she would be married and have a child, maybe two. She'd be taking care of them and working a farm, side by side with her husband. There had never been any other future laid in front of her until everything had changed and she had been brought to Earth and suddenly the sky was quite literally the limit.

Except that the sky was suddenly much too overwhelming. She knew her indecision about college and a career choice was driving her surrogate family crazy. They had all known what they were supposed to do from the cradle. But so had Cassie. It just seemed that her feeling that she should be someone's wife and someone's mother wasn't being valued by the odd collection of people who had raised her.

She suspected that her longing for a simpler life would just confuse the brilliant, driven real-life heroes who had raised her. Science and medicine and the military were the parts of living on Earth that she understood the least.

The only person who had supported her was her grandmother. It had been old-fashioned Southern tradition talking. But it made Cassie start thinking about tradition and how she had always thought of Hanka as a place that still existed; like a place that had continued even after she was gone. It wasn't though. It was gone and Cassie was the last person anywhere who remembered it at all. The last one left to continue any of its traditions.

They stepped outside of O'Malley's and stood for a moment trying to decide where to go to talk.

"There's a Dairy Queen across the street," Jillian pointed out.

"Milkshakes?" Sam suggested. "I've got my debit card."

Cassie shrugged. "Whatever."

She kept up her withdrawn, sullen teenager act all the way across the street. But it was harder to do with Jillian. Daniel's wife had never lectured Cassie about her choices, never judged her progress or indecision. Jillian had even suggested that Cassie take a year off and travel before settling on a college anywhere.

Jillian didn't seem the least bit worried about Cassie making a giant mess of her life, not the way Sam and her 'uncles' did. But even Jillian wanted her to have an education. Jillian firmly believed that not being able to take care of yourself was a very dangerous way to live. In the culture Cassie had been thrust into at the age of eleven that meant making money.

They ordered milkshakes and took a seat in the nearly deserted restaurant. Jillian got out her cellphone and sent Daniel a quick text so he wouldn't worry.

"Doesn't that drive you crazy?" Cassie asked.

"What?" Jillian asked.

"Having to tell him where you are? Don't you have any freedom?"

"Being with Daniel is a choice I made because I love him," Jillian tried to explain. "He worries, and it can make me grumble but it also makes me feel safe and loved."

Her cell phone chimed and she read the return text. Whatever it said it made her smile.

"That would still drive me nuts," Cassie said.

Jillian took the paper off her straw and drank a little bit before answering. "Cass," she said, softly, "Daniel lost everything, twice. Two families gone forever. I would think that if anyone could understand his frantic need to keep this third chance at a family safe it would be you."

Cassie felt the hot flush that rose up to her hairline and knew that she was bright red. Daniel had the same ability to cut to the bone of a matter but he was more subtle about it. Jack didn't deal in bullshit at all. Teal'c just stared at her until she squirmed. Sam was always 'reasonable' because sometimes Sam just tried too damned hard.

Jillian had a way of _not _treating Cassie as if she was made out of glass, which Cassie appreciated. But it could be uncomfortable.

Cassie paid careful attention to her strawberry milkshake for a moment and then said, "Maybe I'm just tired of being safe."

She pretended not to see the look that passed between Sam and Jillian. Cassie swallowed a sigh. There had always been something cloying about having a built-in set of guardians who all knew exactly how dangerous the world was – on Earth and in the greater galaxy.

Jillian put her folded arms on the table and leaned forward.

"Cassie," she said, "If you're coming back to Colorado Springs why don't you just move in with Daniel and me for a while?"

"And go to UCCS?"

Jillian shrugged. "Only if you want."

Cassie blinked. "Really?"

"Sure," Jillian said, cutting off Sam's attempted reply.

"But, what about the baby?"

"The baby isn't due for six months. That's plenty of time to decide where you want your life to go next."

Cassie was tempted, seriously tempted. Of all her guardians she found Daniel the easiest to be around. He was also her favorite. She had lost him once and even though her mom had assured her that Daniel wasn't dead the way people usually thought of death it had still meant 'gone forever' to Cassie.

Then he had returned.

But she didn't think that watching Daniel and Jillian become parents was exactly the atmosphere she needed to get her head on straight.

Daniel and Jillian were so much in love and so very happy that sometimes it was hard to be around them at all. She wanted what they had way more than she wanted to go through a college course book and decide which math and science courses she should take.

Ultimately she shook her head.

"I can't, Jillian. If I go to UCCS I think I want to live in the dorm. I think I need to be on my own." Cassie pushed her chair back and stood up. "I need to use the bathroom."

Without another word, she left Sam and Jillian sitting alone at the table.

Sam pushed her milkshake away and sat back with a sigh.

"I don't know what to do," she admitted quietly.

"She's not a little girl anymore, Sam," Jillian said. "I think we need to all step back and let her make her own mistakes."

"I promised Janet I would keep her safe," Sam answered.

"Well, you just heard what she said about being safe," Jillian stirred her shake and stayed thoughtful for a while.

Sam filled the silence. "She got mad at Jack and me, in South Carolina. She said she never asked to be brought here, to Earth. She never asked to deal with the culture and she wasn't from Earth and maybe she didn't belong here as much as we wanted her to."

"Wow," Jillian said, "Do you think she's right?"

"I think it's how she feels and I don't have the right to tell her how she feels. But she's here now. Earth is her home."

"Is it?"

Sam frowned. "Isn't it?"

Pointedly, Jillian said, "There are thousands of worlds out there. If we really want to offer her limitless choices, then why are we limiting her to Earth and more specifically to the United States?"

"Send her away?" Sam seemed horrified.

"Let her go," Jillian said, "There's a difference."

"Let her go where?"

"I want to say anywhere she wants, but even I'm balking at that," Jillian admitted. "Janet wouldn't like it and Daniel would have a fit. But I think we can influence her choice."

"How?"

"I think we should let her go to the Hak'tyl."

"Ishta?"

"Why not?"

"_Why_?"

"Well for one thing if we send her to Ishta by default she goes to Teal'c. I can promise you firsthand that Teal'c won't let anything happen to her, and I think he would love the excuse to visit Ishta more often."

"All right, there's that...but this is a complete one-eighty from wanting her to go to college!" Sam protested.

"I'm not sure she wants to go, Sam. It's not like she was ever a star student. She had too much catching up to do. Cassie always liked sports better than academics. With the Hak'tyl, she can return to the simpler life she knew on Hanka. She can experience it again but this time she'll be surrounded by strong, independent women who can challenge her to be more than the wife and mother she was expected to be. The women of Hak'tyl value their families but they aren't limited by that."

"You think Cassie wants something she can't find here on Earth?

"I'm guessing. The way she's acting, what you just told me she said…I don't know Sam. I think a huge part of Cassie never made it to Earth. That part of her is restless now that's she's an adult. Maybe we're suppressing something in her DNA that we can't possibly understand and the only place she can find it is out there."

"Jack and Daniel won't like it," Sam noted.

"Jack and Daniel don't like her skipping classes and driving too fast either. Besides it's not really that far away. We're in regular contact with Hak'tyl. She could vanish to a hundred places on Earth that would make her harder to find. I'll ask her about it if you want. I have a get-out-of-jail-free card with Daniel right now and he'll get between me and Jack. Besides, I don't think Daniel will be upset about this at all."

"Why not?"

"Who are we talking about Sam? Mr. Out-Of-The-Box himself who chose to stay on Abydos. If anyone will get that sometimes what you're looking for isn't on Earth, it will be Daniel."

Sam sighed heavily and pulled her milkshake back in front of her to work on it seriously just as Cassie came back to the table.

"You were talking about me weren't you?" Cassie asked bluntly, plopping back into her chair.

"You're why we're here," Jillian said, undaunted. She leaned forward again and went on. "Cass, listen, I don't think we've explored all the possibilities here. There's something we'd like you to think about…"

(0)


	217. Chapter 217

The day had long given over to night when Sam and Jillian asked Teal'c, Jack and Daniel to take a walk with them outside. Stars littered the sky and the air was heavy with the scent of pine and alder. A stream of wispy clouds was drifting across the full moon They had left Cassie in the booth with Scotty and Annie. Cameron and Vala were also in the general vicinity – which Jack was not all that happy about. The impression Mal Doran could make on Cassie was not something upon which Jack wanted to dwell.

"So what is this about?" Jack said. "You both wanted to take a stroll for old time's sake?"

"No not exactly," Sam said. "It's about Cassie." She hesitated, glancing at Jillian.

Jack got impatient. "So? Talk." He tried not to make it a command but Sam clearly took it that way. She instantly launched into a recap of their conversation at Dairy Queen.

When they were done, Jack had come to an abrupt halt and was staring at her. The air around them poised on the brink, silent, waiting for his reaction. To his credit he didn't yell.

"You want to do what?" Jack asked. "Are you _crazy_?"

"You heard us," Sam had dropped the pretense of being only his subordinate as soon as they had cleared the parking lot of O'Malley's. They had been walking shoulder to shoulder, touching, though not holding hands. Now stopped, Sam still stood just close enough to brush her arm against his.

Almost before she had finished speaking Teal'c said patiently, as if the General truly had not heard and wanted clarification, "They wish to send Cassie to live among the Hak'tyl."

"Not _send_ her," Jillian amended, "she isn't our property. We can't just ship her to Haktyl through the Stargate. But we can highly recommend that she go."

"And we would do this _why_?" Jack asked.

"It's what she needs," Jillian said.

"You think she needs to be sent to live with a group of warriors still trying to build houses and get running water to them?" Jack said, then with a quick look at Teal'c he said, "Sorry, T. No offense to Ishta and her people. It's just that I think my former 21C _has lost her mind_!"

Sam frowned at him. But it was Jillian who spoke, "Jack, think about it."

"Rather not!"

Jillian forged ahead anyway. "The four of you are her role models, whether you like it or not. You are the people she looks up to. Sam, you can't claim you haven't been on the edge the last few years, that you've done some amazing and wild things. You're living in Nevada now. What are you driving to work every day?"

"The Indian," Sam admitted.

"And you're staying just under the speed limit at all times, right?"

"Well," Sam hedged. But Jillian was already moving on.

"Jack, I saw the way you flew the 302 on 672–"

"Wait, that was _combat_," Jack protested.

"It was insanity," Jillian said. "No one else was flying like that! Sam! You were in the plane with him. What was it like?"

Sam's eyes sparkled a little, though it was obvious she was trying to fight it. "It was ummmmm..."

"Awesome?" Jillian supplied. "You're thinking awesome, aren't you?"

"Kind of, yeah," she said, with a bit of a grin. Jack glared at her. "But I'm on _your_ side!" Sam protested. "I want Cassie to go."

"I know you do! I'm just saying it's not that odd for Cassie to be exploring a bit of the wild side, given the people she's looked up to for the past seven years."

"Jillian–" Daniel began.

She turned on him so swiftly it startled the breath out of him. "And don't _you_ even start! You just linked yourself to an alien device with _no_ _freaking idea _what would happen and almost got yourself killed again! You've been _dead_ how many times and you want to lecture Cassie about being safe?"

Daniel stopped talking, clamping his mouth shut tightly and looking chastised.

The three Tau'ri members of SG1 exchanged looks that were defensive and guilty all at the same time. The only time Jillian softened at all was when she looked at Teal'c.

"You're the one who started a rebellion that toppled a dictatorship that had existed for thousands of years," she said, with less accusation and more genuine pride in her voice. "That wasn't exactly safe."

Teal'c inclined his head in acknowledgement.

"I'm really not sure any of you can jump all over Cassie for driving too fast or pushing the envelope," Jillian continued, "If she wants to go through a rebel period then maybe we should encourage her to go rebel somewhere safe. Ishta knows how to deal with headstrong young women and Cassie can be utterly honest about who she is – an alien. That's not anything she can do stuck here on Earth."

There was utter silence when she stopped talking. It was Teal'c who finally broke it.

"I believe Jillian Jackson to be correct. I believe you all feel the same way."

"Cassie said she wanted to go, as long as she was invited," Sam said.

Jack exploded again, "_Cassie_ said? You already asked her about this?"

Sam squared off with him. "Yes. There wasn't much sense in talking to you about it if she didn't want to go in the first place."

Jack raked his fingers through his hair and scratched until his hair was sticking up in spikes. Sam grinned at him and fluffed it back into place.

"You know we're right," she said to him. "Earth may have given all it can to Cassie. Her answers might be somewhere else, somewhere pre-industrial."

Jack frowned, shifted his weight. "Edora–"

"Would bore her to tears in five minutes," Sam said. "You know that. Look, if we send her to Ishta we have some control over it at least. If we keep her here we may wake up one day and just find her gone."

Jack looked at the ground and then at Daniel for a long, silent conversation; and then back to Sam.

"You think it's that bad?" He asked.

"Yeah, I do," Sam said softly. "Cassie's going through a bad time and I'm not sure there's another answer. The Hak'tyl have to be better than finding out she's riding with the Hell's Angels."

Jack looked alarmed and then asked, "Daniel?"

Daniel was watching his wife, carefully. "I think I agree," He said cautiously. "I think that if I don't agree I'll be sleeping in crew quarters for a week. But, umm, I actually do think this is a good idea."

"Teal'c?"

"I will ask Ishta as soon as possible," the Jaffa answered. "I should be able to go after seeing you all home safely."

"Do you think Ishta will go for it?" Sam asked.

"Ishta has never forgotten the debt she owes the Tau'ri. When I tell her that SG1 considers Cassandra to be an adopted daughter, she will be welcome among the Hak'tyl."

They stood breathing in the autumn air for a moment and then Jack said, "Well, I guess it's settled."

"I guess so," Sam agreed.

"Then I think," Daniel said, "we should get back in there before Vala starts teaching Cassie the finer points of Rose tequila shots."

"Or worse," Sam said.

Jack put his hand in the center of Sam's back and urged her to walk a little faster.

(0)


	218. Chapter 218

_Vala_, Cassie thought. It was an abrupt name, blunt and unyielding but somehow flowing off the tongue effortlessly. A contradiction. Maybe a bit like the woman herself, currently seated across from her in the horseshoe booth. Vala was clinging a bit too possessively to Colonel Cameron Mitchell, sprawled up against him like a cat in sunshine.

Like Cassie was interested in a guy almost twice her age. Yeah he was hot; handsome, even, in a kind of home-bred country-boy rugged way. But Cassie knew what this guy did for a living and she worried about enough people who went through the Stargate. Sometimes they didn't come back. Daniel had gone away for a long time and everyone thought he would be gone forever. Then her mother – the second person to claim that title – had died and she was really gone forever. Then Jack had disappeared for a while and no one would tell her what had happened except that he wasn't dead. He was just away for a while and, no, they didn't know for how long but she shouldn't worry about it; as if that had made her freak out less.

So there weren't any guys who worked at the SGC that would really interest Cassie.

Besides, Mitchell was treating her with a deference that Cassie knew came from the unspoken understanding that she was under Jack O'Neill's protection. She got the same thing from everyone who had ever worked under the mountain. No one wanted to mess with General O'Neill. No one really wanted to mess with any of SG1. Everyone avoided eye contact with Teal'c if it was possible, especially if he was with Cassie. Daniel seemed like the mildest human being in existence until someone crossed him or threatened something – someone – he loved.

Her 'guardians' took the word 'guard' much too seriously.

Cassie wrenched her thoughts away. It was the kind of thinking that made her head hurt and made her feel like a prisoner. She focused on Vala for some reason; maybe because she was the most outrageous person she had ever met.

For no reason that she could think of Cassie suddenly heard herself blurt out, "Did you really just try to escape out the bathroom window?"

Vala paused in whatever she had been saying to Mitchell, blinked in Cassie's general direction and said, "Out the vent in the ceiling, actually. I was nearly out when Teal'c came in and grabbed my ankle." She swiveled her head in Teal'c's direction and said, "You do understand the concept of ladies' room. Yes?"

"I do," Teal'c replied shortly.

Vala pouted and trailed her fingers down Teal'c's impressive forearm. "I don't understand why all of you insist on keeping me a prisoner. I haven't done anything wrong–"

Mitchell cut her off with a snort of laughter.

"Why are you a prisoner?" Cassie asked, startled. She had thought Vala was Cameron's date, which is why she had been so confused to hear Vala mentioned as being 'connected' to Daniel. At the time she had ignored it. Daniel didn't look like he was in any danger.

It was Mitchell who answered, "Vala isn't exactly from around here."

Cassie gaped for a moment. "You're an alien? Extraterrestrial?"

Cassie had met other aliens over the course of her time on Earth. There was a support group for people who had been displaced from their own home worlds and sought refuge here. But she had never met an alien quite like Vala.

"Yes," Vala said, reaching for the glass in front of her and taking a drink, "in that I'm not from Earth. I came through the Stargate."

"Me too," Cassie said almost reluctantly. She didn't know that she wanted to have anything in common with the strikingly beautiful woman who seemed to command the attention of every man in the room. She took a breath and went on, "They don't like us to wander around too much on our own. Apparently we're a huge security risk."

Vala leaned forward, smiling in a way that was too bright to be genuine. "What was your planet like?" she asked.

Cassie floundered for a moment. She didn't remember it all that well. "It was small, at least my part of it was." Even she didn't know if that meant geographically or significantly.

"Have you ever been back?" Vala asked.

"I was never given the choice," Cassie said, realizing that for the first time and wondering if she wanted to go back. Suddenly she didn't like being under Vala's scrutiny. "What about you?"

"What about me what?" Vala asked.

"What was your world like?" Cassie asked.

Vala appeared to consider the question. "It was hot in the summer, humid, and cold in the winter."

"Hanka was primitive," Cassie said, "at least by SGC standards. Have you ever gone back? To your home planet?"

"Oh, that ship left orbit ages ago," Vala said, sitting back, leaning against Cameron and studying her fingernails for a moment. Then she sat up again rather abruptly. She put a hand on Cameron's arm and pushed. "I think we need more pretzels. Let's go get some," she said, shoving him out of the booth.

"Fine," Cameron grumbled.

"Great!" Vala said, cheerfully.

"Cassie? Do you want anything?" Mitchell asked.

He seemed reluctant to leave her in the booth alone.

"No, I'm fine," she said tightly. It wasn't like she was suddenly going to try escaping out the ceiling vent.

Mitchell nodded and then let Vala drag him off in the direction of the bar. When they were almost there he heard that ripple of excitement that preceded the arrival of SG1. Turning his head he found that, sure enough, they had walked back into O'Malley's and were heading for the booth. The people of the SGC who managed a friendly takeover of O'Malley's on the first Thursday of every month drew up with such an air of wonder and respect they might as well be at military attention.

No wonder Vala had wanted pretzels so suddenly. She had been successfully avoiding Jack O'Neill all night. Of course, the General treated Vala like a live explosive that was likely to go off at any moment, watching her with an expression that mixed wary with 'not-at-all-amused.'

Mitchell understood her reluctance to confront the General. He oscillated between being awed by Jack O'Neill and borderline terrified of him.

Mitchell stopped walking abruptly and made her stop before they got to the bar.

"Dance with me again," he said. "Pretzels will just make you thirsty and you've had enough."

Her eyes were on him, darker than usual and unfathomable. "All right," she said finally, and let him lead her onto the dance floor.

(0)

SG1 slipped back into the recently vacated seats and joined Cassie again. Cassie hadn't missed the way Jack scanned the room until he located Mitchell and Vala. The man didn't miss anything, it seemed.

"All done talking about me?" Cassie asked and she didn't try to hide the snap in her voice. She reached for her ginger ale and took a long drink through the straw, avoiding eye contact with all of them.

"Maybe not," Jack snapped right back and Cassie swallowed suddenly. It was really hard to out-snark Jack O'Neill.

She had once fantasized that Jack would marry her mom and then they could be a real family. He could be her real father. She adored Jack; not that she wanted to think about that right now.

"So what did you decide to do with me?" She went on boldly. "Military boot camp?"

"Tempting," Jack drawled slowly.

Daniel intervened. "Okay, everyone take a breath," he said. Then he made that face he made when he was about to do something he didn't want to do. He nudged Jillian with his shoulder. When she looked at him in question he pushed against her a little harder. At the same time he gripped Cassie's wrist and pulled her along with him.

"What?" Cassie asked, in alarm.

"You're coming with me and we're going to talk," Daniel said.

Jillian stood up again and let them past. Daniel gave Jillian a brief kiss on the temple and whispered something in a language Cassie didn't know. Jillian smiled a little and answered.

Then Cassie was once more standing outside O'Malley's with one of her many guardians. "They should put in a revolving door just for us," she grumbled.

Daniel walked a little way from the steps leading to the front door and hopped up to sit on the retaining wall. Cassie hovered uncertainly, watching him. Daniel had a way of waiting you out; a way of being endlessly patient and extremely ruthless in the pursuit of the truth. He patted the spot of the wall beside him and stared at her meaningfully.

Sighing, because fighting Daniel was like fighting the tide, Cassie went and hopped up next to him.

"I like your hair," Daniel said, unexpectedly.

Suddenly self-conscious, Cassie reached up and fingered the edges of the short bob she had adopted a month ago. It had seemed like a small piece of rebellion at the time but Sam had been delighted with it and now Daniel liked it too. She didn't bother to say, "Really?" She knew Daniel was always honest with her.

"Thanks," she said. She was off guard and just now realizing that was what Daniel had intended.

She should have known he'd just keep tilting the world enough for her to stay off balance.

"You don't want to go to college, do you? At all," he kept talking in that soft lilting tenor that had soothed so many of her teenaged tantrums and calmed so many of her fears. "Coming back here wasn't about checking out UCCS. Was it?"

"Coming back was about my stupid wrist," she groused.

"But you told Jack and Sam you wanted to see the campus," Daniel answered. "Why?"

"Dunno," Cassie shrugged.

"Cassie," Daniel chided.

Dammit. She wanted to hate them sometimes and she just couldn't.

"It's what all of you want to hear!" It burst out of her and hurtled towards Daniel, the one person she was hoping would understand. "It's what you all really want, no matter what else you say. If you can get me settled in some dorm somewhere then you've got me under control. It's like something you can check off your list of things to do. Save the world. Check! Get Cassie in college. Check!"

Daniel was watching her with no change of expression. He still looked open and calm and reassuring.

"Is that what you think?" He asked.

"Yes! Isn't it? It's what mom wanted! She talked about it all the time and Sam would agree with her. So I guess that's what I'm going to do because I can't argue with you and I can't argue with mom and she wouldn't want me to argue with you. I might be able to convince all of you but I can't argue with a ghost. So I guess she wins, by dying. Way to win an argument, mom!"

Frustrated, tears rose up to sting her eyes and cling to her lashes. Dammit.

"Hey," Daniel said softly. He put his arm around her and Cassie cried into his shoulder for a little while.

Then he produced a wrinkled napkin from his pocket. She wiped her face and blew her nose in it and then held it clenched in her fists, staring at the sidewalk.

"Sam and Jillian may want you to go to college, but didn't they just offer you an alternative?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah, like you'd all really let me go live with the Amazon Jaffa," Cassie couldn't hide the bitterness in her voice.

"Honey, it isn't really up to us," Daniel said, so gently and so unexpectedly that Cassie blinked at him in astonishment. "You're an adult now. You can do what you want. We're just trying to offer you choices that you might not have considered. If Haktyl really sounds appealing, it's up to Ishta and you."

This time she couldn't stop it. "Really?" she asked, cringing a little inside.

"Cassie," Daniel had that chiding tone back in his voice and expression. "You are in the unique position of having four people who love you and can literally offer you a galaxy of possibilities."

"But, mom," Cassie broke off helplessly. She really didn't want to fail the ghost of Janet Fraiser.

"She would want you to do what you want," Daniel assured her.

"I don't know what I want," Cassie admitted.

"So take a year off, helping one of Earth's allies rebuild their world and probably learn to be a warrior somewhere along the way. If not the Hak'tyl, there's Edora, there's the Tok'ra. There's any number of things we'd do for you right now. Just say the word."

"And you would all be fine about that?"

"Yes."

"Even Jack?"

"Yes."

"So you didn't come back to the table determined to talk me into going to college or going to live with Sam?"

"No."

Cassie couldn't actually believe that for a moment. But Daniel had his frank and honest expression on his face and she knew he meant it.

"It's kind of a crappy thing to do to Sam," she said, finally.

"To Sam?"

"I know she left the SGC and took the job in Nevada so she could be there for me."

"That's part of it, but it wasn't the only reason," Daniel told her. "Besides, she can still be there for you. In terms of Gate travel she's closer to you if you go to Haktyl than she is if you come to Colorado. We all can."

"Really?" Then she cringed again. This was _Daniel_.

"Really," he said, with a smile so soft it almost didn't exist – a slight crinkling of his eyes, the tiniest pull at the corners of his mouth. It said he knew what she was thinking.

"Okay," Cassie took a very long deep breath. "I think I want to try that, then. Can we go back inside? I'm kind of cold."

"Sure," Daniel jumped down off the wall and helped her to get back on her feet.

As they walked back inside Cassie asked, "You said I was one of Sam's reasons. What were the other reasons?"

"Oh," Daniel said as if he was hedging, "I think I'll let her tell you about that."

"Will she?" Cassie asked doubtfully.

"When she's ready," Daniel said, "Yeah, I think she will."

(0)


	219. Chapter 219

Daniel had been close to asking Jillian if she was ready to go back to the Base only minutes after Vala and Mitchell had left O'Malley's. Jack and Sam were engaged in a spirited game of pool, with Teal'c and Cassie on the sidelines providing encouragement. Almost everyone else was happily on their way to figuring out who they were going home with and Daniel'd had enough of socializing for the night.

Then half of Jillian's team had slipped into the booth – Scotty and Annie and Rusty and his wife Diane – bringing a new pitcher of beer with them and Daniel had subsided for the moment. He knew how much Jillian missed them, how much she had loved exploring off world with them. She was still leaning on him, heavily, content. So Daniel leaned against the rolled leather back of the booth and decided to relax.

He had been in a mood earlier, an edgy, frosty mood. He had been aware of the celebration swirling around him – the laughter, excitement and conversations of the SGC personnel – heard from the restaurant to the bar to the dance floor and every possible crevice of O'Malley's. He had just icily refused to be part of it.

Then Jack and Sam had burst back into his life unannounced and some of that frost had thawed in an instant. They had merged back together so effortlessly, like breathing. It was the closest to peaceful that he had felt in a long time.

His successful break down of Cassie's defenses had gone the rest of the way to furthering his return to feeling civilized.

Now it was Jillian's laughter – soft and smooth, eternally joyful. He was hypnotized by it, the gentle timber and honesty. She _missed_ Scotty and Rusty and he didn't want to take her away from that just yet. She seemed happy just to sit and listen to them swap stories and insults over multiple beers. Having just remembered the feeling of being whole that came from being with his team, Daniel was reluctant to remove Jillian from hers.

"You've been awfully quiet tonight, Jillian," Diane Davidson remarked. "I thought when Scotty started the karaoke I'd get to hear your lovely voice."

She was a tiny woman, barely five foot two, with pale freckled skin and a head of tousled blond curls. She was also a military wife – strong, independent, and with a brash sense of humor that balanced Rusty's stoicism. In a lot of ways she reminded Daniel of Janet.

If she had ever questioned how her husband's military unit had come to include a female archaeologist/linguist no one knew about it. She had accepted Jillian as a member of the extended family, no different than anyone else who had ever served with Rusty.

Of course Diane had no way of knowing about the Ori or Daniel's recent brushes with death. So she had no way to calculate Jillian's current quiet mood.

They were interrupted by the arrival of more of Scotty's friends. They crowded into the booth, bringing chairs over to sit around the end. Daniel recognized them all – Mercedes Winter, the scientist from SG7, Dean Barber from SG5, Michael Griff from SG2, Gil Hawkins the archaeologist (and one of Daniel's staff) from SG11 and Gil's fiancé Linda. They were all a little drunk, in a happy, boisterous, goofy kind of way and Daniel was prepared to be generous.

"So why aren't you?" Diane asked, against the tide of the suddenly overlapping conversations, her eyes on Jillian.

"Why aren't I what?" Jillian asked.

"Dancing, singing, drinking," Diane leaned forward, "You know, all the reasons we come to First Thursdays."

Jillian looked down and away and then back up at Rusty and Scotty, a little helplessly. They hadn't told Diane about the baby. The only people in the world who knew were the members of her team, Jack, Sam, Teal'c, her father and Dr. Lam.

There was something shrewd in Diane's sharp blue eyes. Daniel saw it. He also saw his wife's reluctance and suddenly he just didn't care about keeping their secret anymore. If they couldn't be sure now that they had past thirteen weeks when could they be sure?

"It's because she's pregnant," he said, bluntly.

Silence descended on the table and then cheers erupted, a chatter of voices asking all the expected questions, Diane gasping and saying,

"Sweetheart, that's wonderful! Why on Earth didn't you tell us?"

But all Daniel saw was Jillian shocked and delighted eyes gazing at him. All he heard was Jillian's quiet, stunned voice saying, "Daniel!" just before he leaned over to kiss her in front of her team and most of the SGC.

Scotty pushed his way out of the booth, stood and put two fingers in his mouth. Emitting a piercing whistle he got the attention of everyone in the place. Conversations and laughter drifted away, the music stopped, the dancing stopped. Silence fell.

"Listen up!" Scotty yelled. "Daniel and Jillian are having a baby! Woot!"

There was another second of silence before the place erupted in cheers. Daniel stopped kissing Jillian right about then and stared into her eyes, trying not to laugh and then failing.

"Daniel!" She said, again, outraged and happy all at the same time.

"You said we couldn't keep it a secret much longer," he pointed out.

Their booth was starting to be swarmed by well-wishers. Scotty had started a round of "Hip, Hip, HUZZAH!" They were interrupted a dozen times by people leaning over to shake Daniel's hand and congratulate them.

"I know we did," Jillian said, pausing to smile and say thank you to the group surrounding them and then say "March, sometimes early next March" to the really obvious question before finally getting back to Daniel, "But I was thinking a nice little announcement in the Base newsletter! You know something with little bows and baby booties as font art?"

"This is more fun," Daniel said, looking up and shaking Mal's hand.

Jillian was talking past the people at the end of the table to SG3, who had all come over together. "Yes, we do. It's a boy."

Gerald Mallory slid into the seat previously occupied by Scotty and said, "You two sure know how to create a stir."

"It wasn't _my _idea," Jillian said. But her eyes were shining.

Then Scotty brought the room to a standstill. He had leapt up onto the stage and was talking into the microphone.

"Okay, everyone, shut up a minute," he said, "Umm, not you General O'Neill. You can keep doing whatever it is you were doing, sir."

From the pool table, Jack said, "Why thank you, Major. But I think I'll just shut up too. Carry on."

Laughter followed his words and then drifted off.

"I first sang this song for Daniel and Jillian at their wedding. I thought they might like to hear it now," Scotty said.

He cued something on the karaoke machine and then sat down on the barstool that was always on the stage. A moment later the opening strains of _Can't Help Falling In Love With You_ began to play and Scotty's voice filled the room.

A hush went over the room's occupants. Jillian's eyes filled with tears. The people blocking the end of the table scrambled out of the way so that Daniel could take her out onto the dance floor.

There was a smattering of applause as he took her in his arms. Daniel had gone from dark and moody to euphoric. He was blaming the beer at the moment but he didn't care. He felt happy; and Jillian felt happy. He could tell by the light in her eyes and the way she was holding him as they danced.

They didn't have the floor to themselves for very long. Couples came up to offer more congratulations and then join them. Annie went up on stage to sing along with Scotty. Jack and Sam and Teal'c and Cassie came up and there were hugs all around before Jack stunned everyone by dancing with Sam, keeping a respectable distance between them but still…. Teal'c danced with Cassie, which made her blush and look really, sincerely _happy_ for the first time in over a year.

Daniel had had found a thousand surprises on a thousand planets. He'd found answers to questions he never thought he would ask; and questions where he had hoped to find answers. He had people in his life that could leave and for the first time he knew that it didn't matter. They would come back. They were part of him and he was part of them. Now he had found somewhere that he could stay and someone who was willing to stay with him – the fixed star that guided him home. His _constant._

He saw his life in a flash of tiny moments and underlying all was the normality of a life lived with Jillian Anne North-Jackson. The images make everything else – all the moments that had hung the word 'hero' around him - seem small and pointless in the wake of the life he lived now. He didn't guard himself around Jillian. His life was wide open with Jillian and his heart was still unshattered by it

He wanted nothing else now but the friends he had made and the woman in his arms and the children they would have together.

As the song they had danced together for the first time as husband and wife ended, Daniel folded her in his arms one more time and kissed her, not caring who saw or who knew.

"Let's go home," Jillian said, softly when they stopped kissing.

He started to say that they couldn't and then he saw the look in her eyes and he knew. When they said 'home' it didn't mean the house or the Base. When they said 'home' it meant anywhere they could be together. 'Home' for Daniel was Jillian. 'Home' for Jillian was Daniel.

"Yeah," he agreed, "Let's."

(0)


	220. Chapter 220

**Prior to Beachhead (no pun intended) ;-)**

**(0)**

Daniel had learned to be cautious before asking Jillian to do anything concerning the Ancients. Her bitterness towards them was only softened by the understanding that he would have died from radiation poisoning if Oma had not intervened. It was the _only_ thing about them she liked.

But he was currently going over every artifact, every mission report, every casual mention of _anything_ that might lead them to another piece of Ancient technology – something to use in the new war against the Ori. He needed her help. He needed her sharp eye for detail and ability to think as far outside the box as he could.

The specter of the Repository had floated up between them the moment he broached the subject. He was certain she would tell him if she found any evidence of another one. He also knew that _she_ was certain he would be the next one with his head in it. He had seen it in her eyes. Words of promise leapt up into his mind and waited eagerly to be spoken. He would swear never to risk himself to the Repository, swear on anything she wanted – their love, the life of their son, his friendships. His own life if she wanted him to, though she knew how often he had thrown that away already.

He never uttered them. He saw everything in her eyes, in the complex language they shared that didn't have any words and never needed translating. She understood.

His concern for her thought process during all this research made him keep her in his peripheral vision at all times, occasionally shooting covert glances in her direction. They were working in the office, Daniel at the table. Jillian had been sitting in the chair at the desk but had gotten up to go to the bookshelf.

Since the announcement at O'Malley's a week ago, Jillian had been less concerned about hiding the changes taking place in her body. She hadn't bought a lot of new clothes, though he had encouraged her to. When they were on the base she had taken to wearing his black t-shirts and knotting them at them off to the side at the bottom. Since Daniel liked it – it was almost like having his arms around her, somehow sheltering her vicariously – he hadn't said anything.

At the moment she looked like she had a very small pumpkin tucked under her shirt. It filled him with an incredible kind of wonder, of adoration. It was like living with someone who had a super power – the power to create life.

Keeping her in his peripheral vision he put the disc containing the still photos from PK9-777 into his computer and watched them load. According to SG9 there were some images in the writings that appeared to be Ancient but Daniel had never had time to take a look at them.

"How many people have asked you if we've picked a name?" Jillian asked, suddenly.

Daniel pondered that for a moment. "Um, everyone I have seen or casually passed by in the last week?" He answered.

Her smile was brilliant for the brief moment that their eyes met before they resumed work.

"What are you looking for?" he asked.

"Your journal on the parchment fragment from P5X-099."

"Try the second shelf."

He watched her tilt her eyes up to scan the books crammed on that shelf and then turned his attention back to the computer screen.

"So is everyone giving you a lot of unsolicited advice on eating and life in general?" Daniel asked.

He waited for her to reply but she didn't; and when she didn't for longer than he expected he swiveled the chair around to face her.

Jillian had gone utterly still. She was hardly breathing. Her eyes were fixed on a point directly in front of her but it was clear she was looking completely inward.

Daniel felt a moment of controlled panic, as if he was swimming and had tried to put his feet down on something solid, only to find nothing below him but more water. He sat up straighter.

"Jillian?"

The fear must have slipped out in his voice, even though he had tried to contain it. She spared him a quick glance and then just as swiftly seemed to go back to whatever had seized her attention.

Daniel stood up. "Jillian, what's wrong?"

Eyes wide she looked back at him again. Something on his face must have told her how close to panicking he was because she smiled suddenly, gently.

"Nothing," she said, softly. "Come here."

Her serenity helped to calm him, though he was still feeling anxious. He walked over to her trying hard not to frown. Jillian was still smiling.

"What?" Daniel insisted.

In reply she wrapped her fingers around his wrist and pulled his hand towards her, slipped it under the knotted shirt, and said in a hushed tone, "Wait."

He felt his brow furrow and started to ask her again but at that moment there was a small, rolling motion under his hand. It felt exactly like something briefly rising to the surface of a pond and then sinking back down. Before he could say a word, the movement was followed by a sudden quick kick against his palm and then it subsided.

"Oh my god," he whispered. He looked up at Jillian in astonished joy and found it reflected back at him in her expression. "Is that him?"

Jillian laughed. "I certainly hope so," she said.

There was a ripple under his hand again, as if their son had answered him. Daniel laughed in a short, startled way.

"How long have you been able to feel this?" He asked, not accusing, just wanting to share the magic.

"I thought, maybe a little, yesterday. But I really wasn't sure. Then this morning in the shower, and then just now. It seems to happen when I stand still too long, like I stopped rocking him or something and he gets restless."

Daniel could not quite stop staring at her, couldn't quite move his hand away. Since her fingers were still tight and warm on his wrist he didn't try.

"So you're going to be stuck with two guys who can't stay still?" he asked.

Jillian laughed and it was a chorus of bells for him.

"I won't mind," she promised.

"Does it hurt?" he asked anxiously and it made her laugh again.

"No, it feels…amazing." Jillian got a besotted, dreamy look in her eyes.

"Are you sure? I mean all of this has to be hard enough without being kicked from the inside."

She laughed again, let go of him and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck. Daniel embraced her as tightly as he dared. Holding her was one of the most beautiful things in his life. So it was perfect for the moment to stand there like expectant parents in love and pretend they didn't have a care in the world beyond that.

Daniel let go of her but only to take her face between his palms and press his forehead to hers. He loved her so completely that he couldn't imagine how he had ever existed without her. He wanted to tell her that but his throat was closed with emotions he had never experienced.

Instead he whispered her name. "_Jillian._" Daniel could put so much into a single word. He put everything into it this time – all his love, all his devotion, all the ways he had ever said it and all the ways he ever would.

She had once told him that she'd rather die with him than live without him. The words were burned into his memory. Daniel suspected that it was still true. But they had someone else to consider now. They were both devoted to someone neither of them had actually met.

She wouldn't ask him for the kinds of promises he couldn't make. There was only one she believed anyway – his vow to do whatever he had to do to ensure her safety and the safety of their son.

It was how he loved her and she understood that. For Daniel, there wasn't any other way.

(0)


	221. Chapter 221

**This chapter is written around Beachhead. The first section is a 'missing scene' as Daniel prepares to go through the Gate to Kallana. The second is an after-the-credits tag.**

**(0)**

Daniel always wished that he could prepare to leave on these kinds of missions without Jillian watching him. On the other hand he wanted every single possible moment with her that he could have. For the last six years he had refused to let her say 'goodbye', and he had refused to say those words to her. It was the last thing Sha're had said to him before being whisked out of his life forever and he never wanted to hear it from Jillian.

He understood the origins of the word but he didn't understand why it continued to be used. There was nothing good about it. He never left anyone and felt good about it.

Having to leave Jillian now, and because he had to confront the Ori invading their galaxy, made him feel like a planet being ripped out of its chosen orbit. They were supposed to be in Atlantis, exploring the City of the Ancients. They were supposed to be together every day awaiting the birth of their child.

Instead he was leaving her to carry a nuclear weapon across the galaxy in defense of Earth and its allies. He had gone on his first trip through the Stargate in the company of a nuclear weapon. The irony was not lost on him.

Jillian was sitting on the edge of the bed. She had her hands in her lap, her wrists crossed so that her arms encircled the baby she was carrying. He made eye contact with her and looked straight into their death-haunted past.

Irrationally he felt a flash of anger at Vala for setting all this in motion. But he was equally to blame when it came to the Ori. With a heavy sigh, he accepted the guilt and then shoved it back into dark corners of his mind to be dealt with later.

He jammed his notes about the Book of Origin into a side pocket on the backpack and zipped it shut rather more forcefully than needed.

Then he stood straight up, squared his shoulders and made himself turn to face Jillian. His throat tightened and his head suddenly ached. Everything inside him hurt. He didn't want to leave her. Not now. Not ever really.

"Jillian," he began.

"You'll be with Teal'c and with Sam." She cut him off but it just made it worse. He was supposed to offer her words of comfort. She was way ahead of him.

Then they both stopped talking because words weren't possible over the sound of both their hearts breaking and the looming shadow of his departure for Kallana. Daniel sat down and gathered her into his arms.

They sat and said nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that said everything. Daniel stroked her hair and her shoulder and then rested his hand gently over her swelling midriff. He could feel it in the way she held him, tight. Her breathing began to slow and her body began to lean heavily into his.

Even as she held him, Jillian was giving him permission to do what he had to do. Even as she held him, Jillian was letting him go.

(0)

In spite of his immediate relief that Vala might still be alive, when Daniel slept again he kept waking from hard nightmares of her being burned alive again. Her screams would echo in his head long after he woke, sitting straight up and swallowing his own horrified shouts. His relief had long given way to a deep sense of guilt for having let Vala take such a risk and despair that there was no way to rescue her.

He was still in the sickbay on the Prometheus, fighting sleep, dozing and then jolting awake in fear of REM sleep.

"Daniel?" That was Sam, worried.

"Daniel Jackson," said the deep rumble that was Teal'c at his most concerned.

They had stayed beside him on the journey back to Earth, in spite of his insistence that he was fine and they should go try to sleep themselves.

"It's okay," Daniel said, automatically. "Dreams."

"Doesn't look like it was dreams," Sam said, lightly.

Daniel shook his head. "No, not really. Nightmares, I guess."

"You want to talk about it?"

He didn't, but Sam would press him and Teal'c would _look_ at him. He waved a dismissive hand, rubbing his eyes with the fingers and thumb of the other.

"The Ori galaxy. If that's where Vala is…" he began uncertainly. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad there's a chance she's alive and it doesn't bear considering what she might get up to. Mitchell was right. She _told _us not to trust Nerus and we didn't listen. _I_ didn't listen because I was so quick to dismiss everything she said. We did everything Nerus told us to do and Vala is the one who paid the price."

Sam got that soft and anxious look on her face that she only got when she desperately wanted to reassure him.

"We couldn't have known, Daniel."

"We should have!" he said. "We defeated the System Lords but the Tok'ra are still running down a few hundred minor Goa'uld. They've been playing at being gods for centuries and now here come the Ori with a promise of Ascension – a chance to really _be_ gods."

He looked from Sam to Teal'c, wanting them to understand. What he saw was their affectionate annoyance with him for wishing to be clairvoyant. He tried again.

"L-l-l-like I said, I'm relieved that there's a chance she wasn't killed outright. But the Ori galaxy…it's not a safe place. I just wish…."

"Wish what?" Teal'c asked. There was flat challenge in his voice, as if the Jaffa already knew what Daniel was thinking. But Daniel didn't back down. _They_ were the ones who insisted on talking about this.

"I wish that I had done it," he admitted. "I was the one talking about thinking outside the box. I have more experience with this sort of thing. I should have thought of it."

"There is a strong possibility that you would not have made it back," Teal'c said.

Daniel winced, inside and out.

"I know but…"

A voice from the door of the infirmary caused the blood to freeze in his veins.

"But what?" Jillian asked.

Sam and Teal'c stepped away from each other and gave Daniel a view of the doorway. Mitchell was standing there with Jillian beside him. She was not looking pleased and had Daniel clearly in her dark green sights.

Daniel sat up straighter.

"_Jillian,_" he said, shocked. "How did you get here?"

She ignored his question. "But _what_? You wish you had thought of the cloaked ship and been sucked into the Ori galaxy? When am I going to be able to trust you not to get yourself killed, Daniel? You wish you had hurled yourself through another window into a lethal dose of radiation exposure? Risked your life again? To save Vala?"

"No!" Daniel protested, "Not like _that_." He shot Mitchell a single furious look. _Someone_ had told Jillian how the events on Kallana had played out. His only satisfaction was the chastised way that Mitchell looked at the floor.

"Does _nothing _you have in this life make a difference to you?" She hadn't taken a single step further into the room; and in fact looked as if she might shatter into a million jagged pieces. Her anger tore through him and battered at his soul.

"It means _everything _to me!" Daniel answered. He was painfully aware of Sam shifting uncomfortably and Teal'c glaring at him. "Jillian, being angry won't change anything…"

"No, I suppose it won't," she said. "You're still much too anxious to be a martyr to some cause."

"That isn't what I meant! Let me finish!"

But his wife had turned abruptly around and vanished back down the hall. Mitchell went after her.

"Jillian!" Daniel swung his legs out of the bed, wrenching monitors off his bare skin as he did. He got to his feet and the whole room suddenly swam dizzily. He would have landed on his face if Teal'c had not caught him.

Two sets of strong and familiar hands got him back into the bed and fussed over him while the room greyed out and then returned to normal. The ringing in his ears stopped after a moment too.

With one arm over his eyes, he swallowed hard and asked.

"Are we in Earth orbit?"

"Indeed," Teal'c answered.

"And you all thought it would be cool to surprise me with a visit from my wife?"

Teal'c didn't respond and Daniel could feel Sam fidget again. They were his teammates. He could feel their movements in the air as easily as see them.

"Umm, yes. She was brought up by Asgard beam."

Clenching his teeth, Daniel risked opening his eyes and was relieved to find only the usual blurriness of his poor eyesight. He looked at Teal'c pleadingly.

"Go after her."

Teal'c was frowning at him in extreme displeasure.

"Only if I can tell her that her husband is an idiot," he grumbled.

Daniel sighed, sank deeper into his pillow and shook his head slowly.

"She already knows that," he said, defeatedly. "Just please go get her for me?"

Teal'c inclined his head and turned gracefully to walk out the door. Sam watched him go and then turned back to Daniel.

"She'll calm down," Sam said, reassuringly.

"Maybe," Daniel said, sadly. "Not that I deserve that from her. Some people go on rants they regret when they get angry. But not Jillian. When she goes on a rant everything that's been bottled up inside comes pouring out. When she's mad she says exactly what she means."

(0)

Teal'c found Jillian on the next level down in one of the small observation lounges. She was standing at the window looking out at the shining circle of blue, green and white that was Earth. Since Mitchell was nowhere in sight Teal'c assumed that Jillian had sent him away. She heard him approach but he had made certain that she would. Still, she didn't turn around.

"Jillian Jackson," he said.

"Are you here to convince me to go talk to him?" She sounded like a winter wind at midnight, cold and forlorn; more like Daniel Jackson than the hot-tempered woman he had come to know. Teal'c kept his voice deliberately calm and low.

"He would like you to return."

"Is there some reason he didn't come tell me that himself?"

"He attempted to do as much."

Jillian turned around then, with a flare of anxiety in her eyes.

"He attempted?"

"He still finds it difficult to stand without becoming dizzy."

For the first time there was emotion in her voice.

"What? I thought he was just sleeping a lot."

"He has been reluctant to sleep for the last day. So his condition is not improving."

"Why won't he sleep?"

"He is having nightmares." Teal'c eyes narrowed. "Why does it concern you?"

Jillian's eyes flew open, startled. "Teal'c."

In his slow, patient way, the Jaffa responded. "You care about him still."

"I _love_ him," Jillian said, with no small amount of frustration and exasperation. "Even when he is a monumental, suicidal pain in the ass."

"He said to tell you that he is an idiot."

"Actually he's a genius – a stubborn, arrogant genius who thinks he's the only one who can do anything." She still had her arms folded tightly across her waist and suddenly there were tears in her eyes. "Sometimes I just don't know what to do with him_._ Here I am furious with the only person I know loves me without condition, loves me more than his own life, and that's exactly why I'm mad at him. I know what drives him. I know what ghosts he runs from. But I can't live without him again, Teal'c. I _can't_."

"Then you should go and tell him that."

"He should know!"

"He does," Teal'c assured her. "But it will not hurt to remind him. In the end that is the only thing that matters."

Jillian sniffed a little, dried her eyes on her sleeve and then reached up to put her arms around Teal'c's neck. After a moment the last of the tension drained out of her and she relaxed a little.

"Everyone should have a hundred-year-old friend, just for the wisdom if not the support," she whispered.

He hugged her back with restrained strength. "You are both," he answered, "very dear to me."

(0)

Daniel was alone when she got back to his room. He was lying on his back staring at the ceiling with one arm over his head. But he turned immediately when she stopped once again in the doorway.

There was still a fire smoldering in the depths of her eyes. But she no longer looked as if she would go off like a Roman candle. Daniel sat up.

"I'm sorry," he said softly; and he was, because he could feel the pulse of her pain as if it was his own. "If I could I'd have roses and a whole box of chocolates to go along with it, but this is the best I can do."

"I think we probably shouldn't talk about it," she said.

Daniel shook his head. "I don't want us to have things we can't talk about."

"Why not?" She was still in the doorway, having come no closer than that to him since arriving on the Prometheus.

"Because I love you," he answered. "I didn't mean it like that, not the way you heard. I need your forgiveness, Jill. I need to know that things are right between us."

It was true. The metronome beat of his heart insisted on knowing that it was in time to the music Jillian played.

Jillian inhaled and let it out on a long sigh. When her eyes met his again, the fire had gone out. She was looking at him with longing, gold-kissed emerald, framed by heavy feathery black and copper lashes.

"I can't stay mad at you," she admitted.

"Will you let me finish what I tried to say before you left?" She hesitated but Daniel hadn't really been asking permission. "Being mad at me won't change anything. You are still my whole world."

"And you're mine," she answered. "So you have to understand what happens to me when I think about losing you again."

"I'm sorry," he repeated, thinking they were surely the most inadequate words in any language. Still, he willed her to believe it. Losing Jillian was the only thing that could possibly break him beyond repair. He knew what he had put her through. There was not enough guilt or penance in the galaxy that could make up to Jillian for all the hurt he had caused her.

He looked straight at her and held out his hand. When she didn't move right away he looked down at the blanket but didn't lower his hand.

A moment later she was standing beside him, wrapping her hand around his and sitting on the bed. He sat up and embraced her as if they had been parted for years. It was probably too much to say that the darkness he had been living in cracked the moment they touched. But he felt it splinter. He felt the light bleeding in the moment he took her warm and precious presence in his arms.

Jillian put her hands on his forearms and pushed him back. She took another deep breath.

"There is a tribe in Africa," she began and when he looked startled and confused, she put a finger on his lips to stop his questions, "Let me finish. You're an anthropologist. You'll appreciate this. They are called the Babemba. When a tribal member does something wrong, the entire village comes to a halt and gathers around that person and one by one they begin to recite everything he has done right in his life: every good deed, thoughtful behavior, act of social responsibility, every kindness, every selfless act of love. These things have to be true and spoken honestly, but the practice is to appreciate that person back into the better part of himself. The person is given the chance to remember who he is and why he is important to the life of the village."

She ran a finger down the side of his face. Her eyes were suddenly misty with tears and Daniel felt his throat close up and the sharp, salty sting of tears behind his glasses.

"There isn't enough time for me to tell you all the wonderful things you've done, all the things you've changed for the better, every selfless act you've committed. There is only time for me to tell you those are the reasons I love you," Jillian stopped to dash away the tears with her fingertips, "I'm sorry for losing my temper. I'm sorry for shouting at you in front of our friends. I shouldn't have lashed out at you in such a public place. I owe them an apology too. I need to be..._remembered_ back to our love and commitment."

"_Oh my god," _Daniel choked, "Jillian, don't, don't. Even when you're mad at me you're just being honest."

He seized her as hard as he dared and pulled her into a sheltering embrace. Jillian pressed in so tightly he thought their pulses would surely have to become one.

"_Mon cœur ne bat que parce que je peux sentir votre amour_," he whispered.

Jillian shivered as his lilting French washed over her.

"You are my rock, my guiding light. My _true North. _Ask me in an hour, in a day, in a year, in ten years. My love for you will outlast every clock, every timepiece, every calendar. There is no _me _except the one I see in your eyes."

She gave a choked, breathless little laugh and put her finger on his lips to quiet him again. He leaned down, past her fingers and kissed her so softly it was like the memory of a kiss, just a hint, a whisper. The timing was perfect. The kiss stopped speech because words had become superfluous. It was perhaps the thousandth time they had kissed but it was different. This was a promise, a rebuilding of a relationship that had been rocked but remained solid. When they finally parted they rested for a moment forehead to forehead.

Their son chose then to stir, to kick strongly as if he was trying to make sure he was part of the moment; or perhaps to remind his parents of what was important. Daniel felt it against his arm. They looked into each other's quiet eyes and smiled. Daniel stroked her beloved face.

"You know we can go home now, right? To the house?" he asked.

Jillian looked up at him and in her green-gold eyes he saw that there was no parting from him and never would be. She nodded and said softly. "I would like that."

(0)

Mon cœur ne bat que parce que je peux sentir votre amour – My heart beats only because I feel your love.


	222. Chapter 222

Daniel was going to drive himself to exhaustion over the Ori. Jillian accepted it because it was Daniel. It was the way he worked. Relentless, fixated; especially if he thought that he was the one who had caused the problem in the first place. She had the misfortune of having fallen in love with someone more stubborn than she was.

It wouldn't do any good to lecture him. But she wasn't above using whatever means necessary to get him to eat, relax and take a break now and then. She had kept him busy all morning. All the way up until his eye started getting that pinched look and his jaw kind of set like he was being kept from something he really wanted to do. He would never admit to it – being a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be. But she knew.

At that point Jillian surrendered. The truth was she was tired. It had been a very long few weeks and the idea of stretching out in her own bed was suddenly very appealing. To do this in the middle of the afternoon seemed particularly decadent.

Daniel had escaped her at some point when she was folding a load of towels still warm from the dryer. She knew he was downstairs in the office, poring over the Book of Origin in an attempt to find an answer to the weakness of the Ori. She made two sandwiches and poured an iced tea for herself. Then she went to find him.

He looked up startled when she came into the room, as if he had been so deeply involved in what he was doing that he'd forgotten for a moment where he was. He launched to his feet.

"Hey. Let me get that."

"It's a plate of sandwiches, Daniel. I can carry a plate of sandwiches."

He glanced away. "Maybe I'm just really hungry."

Jillian huffed out a laugh. "Right," she said, but humored him.

He pulled a chair up to the corner of his desk and shoved papers and books and notepads out of the way to make a corner for her plate.

"Comfortable?" He asked when she had sat down and pulled at the sweater over her very obvious baby bump so that it wasn't so tight.

"As possible," she assured him.

He kissed the top of her head, his hands resting briefly on her shoulders. Then he went to the elaborate coffee bar she'd had installed for his birthday. It was right below his aquarium, which she'd had moved downstairs. It was an incredible set up – framed in the wall with all the technical parts out of the way in a closet she'd had added to their 'desert room' just for that purpose. Daniel found it kind of amusing. He had always suspected she wasn't happy about the aquarium being in the dining room. She had a lot of power over him at the moment and was apparently not afraid to use it.

The aquarium could have wound up in the garage and he would probably have been all right with it, though she would never have done that to him or to the fish. As it was, she had simply continued making the downstairs of their little house something entirely given over to him.

He had to push another pile of stuff away from the computer keyboard, which he also shoved backwards, to make room for his plate and cup.

"You didn't have to bring me lunch," Daniel said, after a moment. "I'll take care of dinner if you want."

Jillian regarded him as she chewed and swallowed. She glanced at the mounds of research and the half-dozen open windows on the computer screen.

"I think if I wait for you to make dinner neither of us will eat."

"Oh I didn't say anything about _making_ dinner," he hedged. "I said I would take care of it. We haven't had Chinese take-out in _forever."_

Jillian stared at him for maybe three seconds and then laughed.

"Okay, fine," she said, "That sounds good, actually. I'm kind of tired."

He paused with his coffee mug halfway to his mouth and looked at her anxiously.

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes! I'm just tired. It's been a busy day. I'll eat and take a nap! That will make you happy, right?"

"Yes," he assured her.

"And then tonight I will help you with this," she said with great determination. He looked skeptical and reluctant and it irritated her. "I'm pregnant, not brain dead, Daniel. My condition doesn't change my need to think and act."

"No of course not," he said, quickly. "It's just that I don't exactly have anything organized enough for someone to help me with it."

"Not any of your regular research assistants, maybe," she answered, "But I pretty much know how your head works even if I don't always understand all the things in it."

Daniel cocked a questioning eyebrow and Jillian took it as a challenge. She gestured with a wave of her hand at the pile he had pushed off the right side of his desk to make room for her.

"That's all the things you suspect will help you but aren't sure how they fit in yet." She pointed to the mess behind the computer that was threatening to tumble onto the floor at any moment. "That's the stuff you have already discarded as not being helpful. The things on your left are everything you already need and are working on. What's on top of your keyboard and was in your lap when I came in is all the stuff you haven't looked through yet."

Daniel's expression had gone from skeptical to amused to adoring by the time she was finished. It should be disconcerting to be so _known_ by someone. No one had ever understood him, much less been able to figure out his questionable 'filing' system. It should be unnerving, but he trusted her so much. He trusted the way she loved him, even if it left him mystified.

She tilted her lovely head, long dark hair falling over her arm in an auburn spill. "So I get to help tonight. Right?"

"After dinner, yes."

Jillian gave him a benevolent smile. "Thank you, dear," she said, drily.

"Smartass," he answered, grinning back at her.

She leaned back in the chair and sipped at her tea.

"How much progress have you made?"

Daniel sighed, flipped through some of the papers on the keyboard. "It's all from memory, so I'm not sure, really. A copy of the book would help enormously. It's all basic mythology, parables, fables."

"Show me," she said.

"I thought we were working together tonight?"

"I like to read while I eat, you know that."

Daniel shrugged and then handed her a piece of paper with his neatly penciled handwriting. She read it out loud.

"_And the Ori replied, 'We are your salvation and the beacons to the path of everlasting fire. He who believes in us shall fear no evil and we will deliver those who in faith sacrifice all in the name of their true Gods. The Ori are thy keepers and shall preserve you from all evil. We created you in our image and blessed you with the fires of Celestis for you are among the chosen. And we ascend all those who cry for our mercy and proclaim our wisdom to those who seek it.'"_ She paused. "Fires of Celestis?"

"Fire is a big thing with them. I think that's why the Priors all look as if they've been tortured and burned."

"But what message does that really send to the followers?"

Daniel shrugged. "I study religions, Jill. I don't always understand all of them. Actually, I usually don't understand any of them. I suspect the appearance of the Priors is to intimidate the masses. They've apparently gone through some kind of literal hell but walked out of it with their faith solidified. If they survived such horror then the Ori must truly be gods. But the Ori…it's like they need suffering and pain as much as they need worship. Why dominate through terror and pain when some of these fables are about compassion and reward and would probably bring more followers?

"The problem with them coming into our galaxy…well, there's actually a whole host of problems with that, but one of them is that on most of the Gate worlds we've just gotten done overthrowing a bunch of false gods who used the same threats and intimidation. No one is going to be open to the message of worshipping a god, or they will be reluctant. So they'll be destroyed instead. Someone has to stop this."

He stopped, rocked his desk chair back, eyes focused inward and hands wrapped around his coffee mug.

Jillian regarded him thoughtfully and then recited very softly, "_Tulit ergo Daniel picem, et adipem, et pilos, et coxit partier. Fecitque massas, et dedit in os draconis, et diruptus est draco. Et dixit: Ecce quem colebatis_."

Daniel looked up, startled. Automatically he translated it. "Thereupon Daniel took some pitch, and fat, and hair. These he made into cakes, and put them into the mouth of the 'dragon', and the dragon was burst asunder. 'This,' he said, 'is what you worshipped.'"

"Daniel, the scion of Judah, destroyer of false gods," Jillian said, gently.

"When Cyrus the King of Babylon commanded his people to worship a golden dragon, Daniel destroyed it," he went on, "That story is apocryphal, Jillian."

"It's in the Greek and Latin manuscripts. It's metaphor but it's what I believe," she answered.

"What do you believe?"

"In you," she said, plainly, "I believe that you will find a way to defeat them. There is no faith greater anywhere in any galaxy than the faith I have in you."

Jillian watched some of the anxiety in Daniel's eyes bleed away. It was replaced by the Daniel she knew. This was the Daniel who had stuttered his way through an explanation of the symbol of origin to a room full of people who had been studying the Stargate for two years; who had figured out the Gate address for Atlantis, found Kheb.

This was also Daniel in the pursuit of knowledge that would help protect his loved ones. But for all that, he was now the Program's Daniel. Searching was what kept Daniel going when he was close to not being able to go on at all. A new search would take him away again, put him at risk again and start putting him in danger all over again.

It already had; and Jillian had no choice but to let him go. He'd go back to SG1 now, too. Probably the next time Cam asked. That was also just a matter of time. She took a breath she hoped he didn't see.

She stood up and held out her hand. "Help me clean up and I'll let you tuck me into bed for a nap."

Heavy eyebrows arched up to his hairline.

"You will?"

"Sure," she gave him a come-hither little smile, "I might even let you curl up with me while I fall asleep."

He stood up with her. Before picking up the dishes he put his hands on her forearms and leaned over to kiss her forehead.

"We're going to be okay, Bǎobèi," he said.

Jillian smiled but didn't lift her eyes to his. She rubbed a hand over his muscular forearm and said, "I know we are."


	223. Chapter 223

**The next few chapters will be missing scenes and a tag to Ex Deus Machina.**

(0)

He was standing by the bed tossing things into his military backpack and muttering under his breath. Jillian couldn't catch it all but it sounded like Dutch and he usually only defaulted to Dutch when he was annoyed. She couldn't take her eyes off him most of the time and today was no exception. Tan khakis over his long legs, blue cotton plaid shirt that was clinging to his shoulders and moving with a casual caress over the muscles of his arms. His bronze hair was disheveled and damp, towel dried. There was a heavy scent in the air of the steam from his shower, the sexy masculine soap he used, his sandalwood aftershave.

He looked wonderful, irresistible – and completely aggravated. Jillian understood. He couldn't fathom why he was being sent to Maryland to talk to the wife of a missing CEO. It was utterly outside his area of expertise, or so Daniel thought. He was only doing it because Jack had asked him to. Jillian knew it was partly because Daniel was the only one Jack trusted to do it, and partly because Jack was not above using any means at his disposal to get what he wanted.

And Daniel's easy charm and disarming ability to get people to talk to him were always at Jack's disposal.

Daniel had a way of listening to the echoes of words, listening to the way the words were said, hearing the pings coming back to him and building a mental model of what was being said underneath the words. His gift – his true gift – was language; and if Jack needed someone to talk to a person of interest in any given situation, he would send Daniel.

_Just smile at her, bǎobèi, _Jillian thought,_ look at her the way you look at something utterly fascinating and she'll tell you everything you ever wanted to know._

She had been lost, utterly lost in Daniel Jackson from the first time she had laid eyes on him.

_It was her second day at the SGC and she was still trying to find her way around. She knew that Dr. Jackson was ostensibly going to be her boss and that she would be reporting to him. But no one had seen fit to introduce them yet. _

_Then she saw a man coming towards her, balancing a pile of books and file folders, papers sticking out of the tower at odd intervals. There was really no reason to think that man was her boss. He looked more like a walking accident about to happen, careening down the hall under a mass of shaggy hair with glasses that were threatening to slip down his nose. What was even more amazing was that he was actually trying to write notes on whatever slip of paper topped the already precarious pile._

_Jillian stopped in her tracks to watch, fascinated. He was going to hit something, or run into someone, and send the pile toppling to the cold gray floor. She was about to scurry out of his way when the Major who headed SG- 2 came around a corner and walked into her. Jillian and the Major crashed to the floor._

_And then, the next thing she saw was a hand in front of her face as the book-carrying man shifted his pile easily to one hand and hauled her up with a simple tug of the other, all without losing a single page._

"_Aw, geez," the Major who had crashed into her was saying. He was making a vague attempt to brush her off. "Are you all right?"_

_Jillian didn't answer. She couldn't. When she regained her feet, clinging to the arm that was holding her up, she looked through a pair of owlishly round glasses into the bluest eyes she had ever seen. So blue they seemed to reflect the world back upon itself._

_Those eyes flickered over her quickly, assessing, asking, and she nodded._

"_Seems fine, Ferretti, but how about slowing down?" He spoke to the offending Major but never stopped looking at Jillian. The lips under those striking blue eyes curved just a little._

"_Yeah, sure, Dr. Jackson. Sorry, Dr. North."_

"_Don't worry about it," Jillian gasped breathlessly._

"_Oh!" Daniel said, "You're Dr. North." He let go of her and held out his hand to shake hers._

_Stunned, Jillian put her hand into his and felt every bone in her body melt in response._

"_Dr. Jackson," she said._

"_Call me Daniel," he said, a phrase she would hear him repeat a thousand times and come to know when he meant it and when he didn't._

_He shook his head to get a piece of his long hair out from in front of his glasses and smiled. She had a ridiculously strong impulse to reach up and brush it away for him, just to touch him._

"_Jillian," she responded immediately; and really, she had a Ph.D. in language and literacy and should have been able to speak in complete sentences._

_She felt a sudden surge of vertigo, as though the floor had dissolved out from under her and she was free falling._

_Falling in love in the moment she looked into Daniel's eyes, and her heart had simply stayed there…._

Breaking free of her reverie, Jillian strolled over to Daniel slowly, touched his arm gently and peeked into the backpack.

It had papers and his laptop and a book she assumed he meant to read on the flight.

"Is that all you're taking?" she asked.

"I'm coming right home. I'll be back tonight. Late, but tonight." His answer was clipped and he didn't look at her.

"What if you get stuck there overnight? You should at least pack a change of clothes and your toothbrush."

Daniel gave a loud sigh of frustration. "I'm not going to Outer Mongolia. If I get stuck there I'll go to a strip mall and get what I need," he snapped.

Jillian had been rubbing his arm but his tone made her stop. She didn't remove her hand but she kept it still. Daniel closed his eyes for a moment, took a breath and Jillian could see the visible effort he made to relax.

"I'm sorry," he said, giving up the argument they weren't really having, "None of this is your fault."

He put his arm around her waist and drew her close. Jillian reached up and pressed her fingers against the back of his neck, massaging the tight muscles at the base of his skull.

"God, Daniel, you're tighter than a drum," she murmured.

He sighed again and dropped his head to her forehead. His hands drifted down to rest on her hips, rubbing her baby bump with his thumbs.

"Have I mentioned that I hate flying on Air Force cargo planes?"

"A time or two," she answered, very softly.

"Hmmm," he said. "Oh! What about that thing where the benches were made by some masochist who thought only robots would sit on them?"

Jillian leaned back and let her eyes go wide with surprise. "The benches on cargo planes are uncomfortable? Really? I had no idea."

A smile quirked the corner of his mouth. He leaned in and kissed her hair.

"And how much I just hate leaving you right now?" His voice had lost the hard edge. It was gentle and misty now.

"I know you do," she soothed. "I'll wait right here for you and keep the phone with me."

"You will?"

"It's just as easy for me to wait for you and work here."

He nodded and then straightened up, too far for her to effectively work out the kinks in his neck. His eyes became distracted. His brow furrowed.

"What is that?"

"What?"

"That smell? It smells like…. Chocolate."

"I made fudge brownies for you and Sam to take on the plane."

Daniel blinked and looked astonished. "You did what?"

"I made brownies for the plane."

"For me?"

Jillian shook her head. "No for the pilot," she teased, drily. "Of course for you! For a smart guy you can be a little dense. I also made a few sandwiches and a thermos of coffee."

"Coffee?"

"I know you can't get two thousand miles without coffee, Daniel. I doubt you can get two thousand feet most days, in fact."

"You made me food for the plane." His entire being had changed. The hard lines in his face had softened. The pale blue eyes behind his glasses were glowing.

"And coffee, the way you like it, strong enough to supply that daily caffeine-hammer to the brain you seem to crave," she smiled at him. "I doubt the Air Force has in-flight food service."

Daniel pulled his glasses off with one hand and drew her close with the other. Then he nuzzled into her hair and neck and shoulder, bending over to do it.

"I'm so glad you married me," he whispered, "so glad, Jill, because you are just absolutely, undeniably, fucking amazing."

His beautiful long eyelashes brushed her cheek. His freshly shaven jaw rubbed hers and then his lips touched hers in a gentle caress. Jillian sighed, opened her mouth and let him in, the sweetness in the kiss making her heart ache.

"Would you do it again? Marry me?" Daniel asked.

Her arms went around his neck. "Do you doubt it?"

"Not because of you," he said, "You've never done anything but convince me over and over how much you love me. The doubt is in me. I know you love me. I just wonder if you ever regret that you do."

"No," she said, easily. "Sometimes I will be…breathless with a kind of awe that we're together. That someone like me could find someone like you – it renders me speechless. So the answer is yes, my darling Daniel. I would marry you again, a thousand times if you wanted."

He pulled her close again. "So you'll be here waiting for me tonight?" he asked, with a thread of anxiety.

"Already said I would," she answered. "I'll be here tonight. I'll be here always."

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	224. Chapter 224

**Continuing the missing scenes from Ex Deus Machina. This will be mostly Daniel-Jack, Sam-Jack.**

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"_So how did it go with Sheila Jameson_?" Sam's voice on the other end of the phone asked.

"I'm pretty sure she told me everything she knew. She said her husband 'wasn't himself' the last few weeks before he disappeared."

"_Not himself?_" Sam repeated. "_That could mean anything_."

"But what if it means he's been taken as a host?" Daniel asked.

He heard the hesitation in her voice. They were encrypted phones so he knew that wasn't it any fear of being overheard.

"_By a Goa'uld_?" she said, unnecessarily. "_I don't know, Daniel. Is that possible_?"

"We know the Trust is still out there," he insisted. "Besides, I thought we gave up the word 'impossible' a long time ago. Sheila gave me some pictures. We'll know more when we find out who the other men in them are."

"_Okay,_" Sam said, reluctantly. No one wanted to think about the Goa'uld still being a factor.

"How is it going at Farrow-Marshall?" Daniel asked.

"_I'm still in the waiting room_," she answered and now he heard the frustration.

"They don't know who they're dealing with if they think that's going to wear you down," he said and hoped she could hear the way he was smiling.

She huffed out a small laugh in response.

"All right, look," he said. "I'm going to go meet with Jack about all this and then head back to CO. You still plan to stay at least for the night?"

"_Yes, I'll be back in the morning_."

"Jack can fill you in on our meeting then. Be safe."

"_You too,_" Sam said, and then hung up. Daniel dialed Jillian's number and was relieved when she picked up right away.

"_Hi,_" she said. Warmth, affection, the exhilarating cadence of her beloved voice. It was the sound of his own heart speaking. "_How did it go?"_

"I got some information. Not sure what it means yet. I still have to report to Jack. How are you?"

"_I'm fine_," she said but Daniel was fluent in 'Jillian' and he caught something else in her voice.

"Jill?"

Now he heard the soft defeated sigh that escaped and traveled two thousand miles to where he was waiting. She was just as fluent in 'Daniel' and knew he wouldn't quit until he knew what was wrong.

"_I have a headache_," she admitted.

"Did you take something?" He was alarmed but of all the things that could be wrong, he'd accept a headache as a blessing.

"_No, and I'm not going to,"_ she said firmly.

"Dr. Lam said you could take Tylenol."

"_I don't want to._"

Now Daniel sighed. Jillian had steadfastly refused to take medication of any kind since becoming pregnant. But he didn't want to be the one who encouraged her to take something and then have something go wrong.

"Then what are you going to do?" He asked.

"_It's probably just the weather changing. You know how the air pressure had been affecting me. It's going to snow. Are you still coming home tonight?"_

"Of course I am."

"_Then __please__ drive safely. Make sure the roads are clear before you try it."_

"Yes," he said, almost impatiently. He was no more interested in having an accident than she was interested in him having one. "What are you going to do about your headache?"

"_Live with it until it goes away_?"

"Wrong answer."

Heavy sigh. "_Fine. I'll go lie down with an ice pack. Will that make you happy?"_

Was it possible she sounded annoyed with him?

"I love you, Jillian," he said, holding his breath. He wasn't always the smartest husband for all his high IQ.

If she was annoyed, it was instantly derailed.

"_I know_," she said, "_I'm sorry. My head…hurts, and I miss you_."

"I'll be home soon. I miss you, too," he said, relieved. "Feel better."

"_I will, as soon as you're holding me again. Be careful."_

"I will. Love you."

"_Love you too."_

He ended the call and sat with the phone in his hand for a moment. He wasn't good at being separated from her. Even the brief connection with her through the phone had made him feel more like himself. Now he felt the way he always did away from her – like he was missing something vital.

The sooner this was over and he was home the happier he would be. He started the sleek black sedan the government had put at his disposal and drove to DC.

(0)

It was called the Diner. Small t, capital D. It was on the bottom floor of a tan brick four-story, in the corner. It had classic Georgian architecture and multi-paned windows. Jack was waiting for him in a corner booth. He was wearing a dark blue plaid flannel shirt and jeans. His suede jacket was hanging on the coat rack attached to the booth. A basic blue ball cap was perched on top of it. No one would mistake him for so much as a DC business man, much less a highly-decorated Air Force General who actually lived and worked in Arlington. He looked like a misplaced tourist.

Daniel joined him quickly, sliding into the booth opposite him without taking his leather coat off. He tossed the envelope of photos on the table beside the condiment tray. Jack gave him a narrow look.

"Aren't you staying?" he asked without preamble.

Daniel's forehead furrowed. "Yes, I thought we were having lunch."

"Then take your coat off. You look like you're waiting for a bus."

"I'm freezing," Daniel said. "I've been freezing since I landed."

Jack snorted. But Daniel had a point. Jack hadn't much liked the cold since that whole episode in Antarctica. Then of course there was being frozen in the Ancient device…..

"It's gonna snow," he said, conversationally.

"It's in the forecast?" Daniel asked, without looking up.

"No, but my left knee has been on alert since yesterday."

"And the right one?"

"Predicting several hours with a heat wrap," Jack answered cheerfully.

There was bridled concern in the look Daniel threw at him. "When is your surgery?"

"Sometime _after_ the next crisis, which hopefully won't be what this is."

He started to ask about the envelope, then paused when their server brought Daniel a menu. She was a woman probably close to Daniel's age who smiled at Daniel in a way she had not smiled at Jack. Jack almost snorted again as Daniel's head did the 'shy dip' he used with everyone he suspected was attracted to him. It wasn't modesty. Daniel had come to understand that he was attractive to women, even if he didn't understand why. He had developed an arsenal of responses for handling people who wanted him, from disarming charm to professorial abstraction to a mild, deadpan, scalpel-sharp wit. He was easygoing and good-humored with young adults and people on his staff who developed infatuations. He was gentle and sweet with teenagers, accommodating without offering anything or belittling. He was merciless and dismissive with sexual predators.

Daniel asked for coffee and took the menu from her with his left hand, tilted so that his wedding ring was on view. Sometimes he was also just plain subtle.

He watched Daniel peruse the menu the way he read everything – scanning down the center for keywords. He was hunched forward with both his collars turned up.

"So what's good here?" Daniel asked, scanning the sandwich section. "I assume it's safe to talk?"

Jack shrugged in answer to the second question. "I always get the Reuben," he said, "and it's safe or we wouldn't be here."

Daniel read through the makings of the Reuben and crinkled his nose. "I think I want the grilled chicken sandwich."

Jack looked at that menu offering and found a list of words he didn't recognize and couldn't pronounce: sun-dried tomato aioli, pesto, gruyere, onion marmalade….

"You would," he said. "Onion marmalade?"

"It sounds good," Daniel said, dismissively.

They ordered when their server came back with Daniel's coffee and topped off Jack's.

"You have no sense of adventure," Daniel said.

Jack gaped at him for a moment. Then he said, in his best movie-star-channeling bluster "Who are you talking to?"

"Don't you mean 'to whom are you speaking'?" Daniel asked, innocently as he sweetened his coffee.

"Daniel," Jack answered in his warning voice.

"Oh, fine, you're in a mood," Daniel said, stirring the hot dark liquid in his mug. "But it wasn't a sense of adventure that took you to the places you've been. It's your sense of duty. That's different. Given a choice you'd move to the cabin by the lake and stay there."

Jack grunted and concentrated on his coffee for a moment.

"Are you coming for Thanksgiving?" Daniel asked. "Jillian wants to know."

"Yes," Jack answered. "Didn't I tell her that already?"

Daniel shrugged. "I don't know. How would I know? She asked me to ask you again. Something about a turkey."

"You need to pay more attention to your wife," Jack warned.

"If I pay any more attention to her she's going to start cursing in Mandarin."

"Ouch," Jack said. "Is there some reason you're letting her host a huge Thanksgiving dinner when she's five months pregnant?"

Daniel paused with his coffee halfway to his mouth and peered at Jack over the top of his glasses. "If you know some way to stop her please let me know what it is."

"Ah," Jack said, "So it's like that, is it?"

"She's pretty determined. I think it has to do with having a formal dining room we hardly ever use and a whole set of good china that's been in her family for two generations that sits and looks pretty in the china cabinet."

Jack studied him. "That could be part of it."

"Part?"

Jack lifted a shoulder. "It probably also has a lot to do with wanting to establish some family traditions."

Daniel blinked and then his eyes went back and forth as if he was searching through the data base of his marriage.

"You might be right," he murmured.

Before Daniel could get any more absorbed by thoughts of his wife and coming family, Jack gestured towards the envelope. "What did you find out?"

Briefly Daniel told him, pausing only when their sandwiches were delivered. They got a healthy start on their lunch before Jack opened the pictures and took them out to glance through them.

"Recognize anyone?" Daniel asked.

"No," Jack admitted. "But we'll get these to Kerry Johnson and see if there's a connection to the Trust. If nothing else she should be able to ID them."

"You know what this means, right?" Daniel asked.

"It doesn't mean anything yet, Daniel," Jack said, irritably.

"We already know the…the _snakes_ infiltrated the Trust. That's why Kerry Johnson's division in the CIA was created in the first place. You think this is connected or you wouldn't be getting her involved."

"We got them all. She's good at what she does," Jack declared, crunching loudly on his chips.

"Maybe we didn't, or these are new. But there's a good chance the–the snakes are on Earth, either a new attempt at invasion or some old ones that laid low."

Jack kept his eyes on his plate as he finished eating. It had been quiet for two whole weeks. Not a peep out of the Ori, not even in the most distant part of their galaxy. He had been just about to schedule his first knee surgery. Then yesterday a Prior had shown up on P2K-1701 and six hundred people died; and now they had a dead Jaffa in Virginia.

They had been together too long – Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson. They could sense each other's frustration and irritation. The temptation was to release it all on each other. They had always been each other's safety valves.

Jack chose not to give into the temptation himself; but if Daniel needed it then they would have at it. He looked up slowly until their eyes met. There was a reflection of the overhead lights glinting off Daniel's supposedly nonglare glasses. But Jack could read the message in the clear eyes behind them. Daniel wasn't up for a public argument either. Daniel wanted to get this over with and go home to his wife.

"Finish your lunch," Jack said, in his old, gruff command voice – the one Daniel usually ignored. "Then we'll copy the photos, send them to Johnson and get you on a plane."

Signaling their server that he wanted more coffee, Daniel said, "I would really like that."

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	225. Chapter 225

It was hard for Daniel to face someone who was teetering on the verge of the same kind of crushing pain he himself had faced too many times. It had been his biggest objection to his last assignment to go get information from someone whose loved one was missing. There were, he hoped, few people who had suffered the kinds of crushing loss that he had. But it reminded him of that loss every time he had to look into the eyes of the other person, the one who was still waiting and hoping. Sheila Jameson had been forthcoming with him, holding back at first, and then offering him everything she had. She had wanted him to offer her hope and he had tried.

He could tell the truth. He could even tell twisted versions of it as long as the truth was in there somewhere. But he was absolute crap at deliberate misinformation or subterfuge. He had felt only sadness and defeat looking into Sheila Jameson's eyes when he had driven her back to the upper-middle-class brick house she had shared with her husband. He was pretty sure Sheila was never going to see her husband again. He had left her with the kind of pointless platitudes everyone had given him when Jillian was missing off-world, the same ones Jillian no doubt heard every time he was missing. He had resisted being in love with Jillian, because he knew then that it would shade every day for the rest of his life. No matter how it turned out.

The interview and time with Sheila had weighed on his soul ever since. He was left fighting the disparate shards of his life – every disappointment, every sadness, every loss. Anxiety and uncertainty clawing their way up from the depths to which he had banished them long years since. It had colored his mood while eating lunch with Jack and while waiting for Kerry Johnson to get back to them with some information on the men in the photos.

The journey back to her – _Jillian,_ for him there was only one 'her' – had seemed endless. The plane had seemed to be moving backwards and indeed in some ways it was as he kept winding his watch back through the time zones. He had left DC at 5 P.M. He would arrive back at Peterson at 5 P.M. He wished now he had driven the jeep to Peterson and not let Sam take him in her car. Choosing to come home before Sam did left him with little choice but to accept the car and driver the military would provide for him. Jack had insisted and he hadn't argued. He would have much preferred the feel of the familiar jeep and the demands it would make on his muscle memory as he dragged it into four-wheel drive and then wrestled through the gears. The jeep made him pay attention to driving and not let his mind wander.

It was snowing when the plane landed and he had no choice but to sit in the backseat of the black sedan and watch it fall. He tried closing his eyes but then his mind only wandered further. The sun was slipping away. So he drove home in a purple and gold winter twilight with heavy white flakes of snow streaming to the ground. He wanted it to snow hard and stick. It would make the morning quiet, hushed; and Jillian would insist he stay home, and he would.

He had a certain fondness for snow now. It had been snowing the first time he'd made love to Jillian, though he still wished they had been somewhere else, even somehow managed to get to the bedroom. He had once hated snow – treating even the slightest dusting like a personal affront, fighting panic, dreading hills. Now, after eight years living in Colorado, he had a love/hate relationship with it. It had given him the first sweet memory of what it was like to make love to Jillian. It had given him calm evenings and sheltered mornings.

It was a moment like that he craved now. At least for the night. Let the world go calm and easy and not be littered with secret Goa'uld and dead Jaffa.

He had looked into the eyes of someone missing her husband and had seen nothing but Jillian.

He sent her a dozen text messages between the plane landing and the drive from Peterson to his home in the Springs.

When she texted that she worried about him traveling he responded, 'I had to come home. I hate curling up with pillows that aren't you.'

She had sent him a smiley face and answered, 'Then come home. It will be one of those times when it's an hour before we say a word.'

Daniel had shivered under the heavy leather jacket. Jillian never left him waiting for an answer, as if she knew the waiting was the hardest part for him. He wasn't sure he could be the strong one at the moment. She seemed to be way ahead of him.

'What do you want tonight?' asked her words on the little screen.

So much intimacy in the backseat of a government car being driven by a stranger who had picked up on Daniel's need for silence.

'To be the one who loves you.' he had typed back.

After a pause, she sent back the emoticon 3. Daniel smiled and felt like magic was pouring back into his soul.

After they pulled up at the curb in front of the house, he thanked the driver, told him to drive safe, grabbed his backpack and slammed the door. He walked cautiously up the walk, all the while taking in the beloved sight of the house she had worked so hard to make their own. He'd had little to say about the furniture or décor, but it didn't matter. Jillian saw it as both of theirs and that was good enough for him. The snow was starting to stick on the lawn but the sidewalk still felt slick to him. He started to put his key in the door but Jillian was already opening it.

She was right. They didn't speak for almost an hour. They didn't have to. They kissed and held onto each other, and somehow she understood that he couldn't be the strong one right now. He was rattled and exhausted and worried about where this whole thing with the missing businessmen was going. His soul had become heliotropic and Jillian was the sun.

Jillian had coffee waiting in the kitchen and fresh apple pie she had baked while he had been gone.

They had gone to bed and it was after making love – when there was mostly ragged breathing and very little ability to think, when there was just touch and holding and his face buried in her hair – that Daniel felt as if the whole world had been narrowed down to a single sweet sound, one note on a flute, one string being plucked, one key on the piano.

And that sound was everything. That sound was Jillian.

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	226. Chapter 226

**A/N: I wasn't really sure what to ever do with this scene. It's part of my missing scenes from Ex Deus Machina but not really a part of Daniel's story at all. In the end I decided to put it here anyway. It's Sam and Jack, short and sweet.**

**(0)**

Jack hated it when the red phone rang. But he still answered it instantly. President Hayes had, of course, been notified about the mysteriously dead Jaffa. Jack wished he had better intel for him than a bunch of pictures. He had expected to make a brief and succinct report. He had not expected to be invited to dinner.

"Tonight, sir?" he asked.

"_Why not_?" It wasn't the kind of question Jack thought the president of the United States would ever ask.

"I thought these kinds of things required weeks of preparation," Jack hedged.

"You have the right security clearance and it's just dinner, Jack. I eat like normal people. You can join the missus and me in the regular dining room. No state affair, I promise you."

The leader of the free world wanted him to come to dinner. Jack resisted a sigh. Before he could form an appropriate answer without any level of smart-assery in it, Hayes said, "Aren't Dr. Jackson and Colonel Carter in town?"

Jack winced. He _really_ wanted a night with Sam, not one spent at a formal dinner in formal clothes with conversation that meant he had to watch every word.

"Daniel already left for the airfield, sir," he said. "Colonel Carter is due in my office any moment."

"Great!" Hayes enthused. "Bring her along. Women love the White House. I think it's all the history. I just spend a lot of time being afraid to bump into something."

"I think it's Daniel who would appreciate the history, sir. He'll be sorry he missed it," Jack said. "But I am sure that Colonel Carter will just _adore_ being invited."

There was a pause and then the president said, "George told me about your sense of humor, Jack."

Jack swallowed. "He did, sir?"

"Yes, he did," Hayes sounded downright jovial about it. "Dinner's at six. I'll let the cook know."

"Thank you, sir." Had he really just _thanked_ the man for getting in the way of his evening with Carter?

The line went dead. Jack sat back in his chair and let the red phone drop back into its cradle.

_Damn,_ he thought, _what the hell just happened?_

(0)

The large blue eyes he had come to love stared back at him from across the very impressive Pentagon office desk and said,

"We're going to do what for dinner?"

She had walked into his office and shut the door behind her with a firm push, and then turned around with her cell phone in her hand, displaying the text message he had sent her.

"The White House," Jack answered. "Nothing fancy."

Sam gaped at him. "It's the _White House._ You know, where the _president_ lives. How is this not fancy?"

"He said it was just regular dinner in the regular dining room," Jack shrugged. "Look, it can't last all night. We'll eat, we'll see if he wants an update."

"And you chose to tell me this by a text message?"

"I didn't want you to feel you had to answer the phone," he defended his actions. "You could have been in the middle of something."

She sat down in the chair across from him and put her phone back into her jacket pocket.

"So, let me get this straight, sir," she began. It didn't escape Jack's notice that this was the first time 'sir' had appeared in the conversation. "I'm supposed to accompany you to a White House dinner instead of going back to your place the way we originally planned?"

"Yes," Jack said, pleased by her grasp of the situation.

"In my _uniform?"_

Jack blinked. He hadn't thought about it. He was wearing his Class A's. He had assumed she would wear hers (in which she looked damned sexy, but he had a feeling this was not the time for those kinds of observations).

"He's the commander-in-chief. He can literally order you to go anywhere in the galaxy. It would seem like the most...respectful thing you could wear."

"Well, I don't really have a choice do I, sir?" Her smile was so sweet it made his teeth ache.

Jack sat forward so suddenly, Sam started straight up and her eyes grew wide.

_Good,_ he thought, _knock it off, Colonel._

"If you want a choice I will take you anywhere you want to go. Now. Say the word and we'll put it on my Mastercard. Just nothing too sexy because I don't want the Secret Service guys watching you from behind those sunglasses. Because if I so much as suspect one of them is doing that, I'll have to put him on his ass, and I don't think that will end well."

Sam opened her mouth. Shut it.

"My uniform is fine," she said, weakly. "Could we go back to your place and at least freshen up?"

"Yes," Jack said, sitting back again. "Do you want a clean uniform? Because I can have one in your size sent up here within the hour."

"No, this is fine. It's…broken in."

"Fine," Jack said. He was no happier than she was about the invitation. "Look, stay one more day. I'll take you to breakfast, lunch and dinner before you have to go back."

Sam's eyebrows went up. "Out in public, like normal people?"

"Yes."

"I didn't bring anything to wear."

"We'll go shopping and you can get whatever you want."

"On your Mastercard?"

"Yes."

"And all I have to do is go play nice at the White House for one night?"

"Yes?"

Sam smiled. Jack's heart ached. If he was another man – Daniel for example – he'd have a dozen words to say about wanting to lay the world at her feet and do _anything_ to make her happy, and how blue her eyes were and how wonderful her kisses.

But he was only Jack O'Neill and if he could get her to stay the night he'd tell her everything with the touch of his hands.

"You've got a deal," Sam said.

(0)


	227. Chapter 227

The cubes had been brought back from PGX-3X92. They were roughly palm size to one foot by one foot and appeared to be covered in a form of Ancient writing. Daniel had given them to Jillian cautiously, knowing how she felt about the Ancients. But she had accepted the assignment with a relative grace. The only thing she had done to indicate her displeasure was to go get a pair of safety goggles in case this was the Ancient artifact that finally exploded on them – the Ancients having had a bad habit of leaving dangerous technology lying around where anyone could find it.

So far they hadn't and Jillian was now intrigued enough to continue working on them without further complaint.

Daniel found her in the lab, standing, hunched over slightly and peering at the smallest one through a magnifying glass. He went to her, standing close and putting his hand in the center of her back. He wanted to tell her to sit down but since she was likely to get grumpy about being told what to do he resisted the urge. She was likely to be grumpy enough with him in another moment.

"Anything?" He asked.

Jillian straightened up, leaned her hip against him and sighed. Daniel's thoughts went on hold as the weight of her body settled against him, as the hand he had on her back shifted to rest on her shoulder and draw her close. He had been shaken by the disturbing knowledge that Ba'al was on Earth. A Goa'uld on the same planet with Jillian was not in any way acceptable and he was now laser-focused on eliminating the threat.

"No. It looks like Ancient and I want to tell you that it is, but I can't. Sam scanned all the cubes earlier. None of them are giving off any kind of energy signal. It doesn't appear to a 'technology' per se. But I can't quite get a handle on what the language is. I'll need more time."

Daniel turned and pressed his forehead against the top of her head. It was these moments, when they went from being separate, on different missions and leading different lives _to DanielandJillian_, to _We_, to _Us._

He hoped the decision he had just made…no, in fairness, he had made it days ago and not admitted it even to himself. But he hadn't discussed it with her and he was just now realizing that he should have. As _him,_ it didn't matter. But as part of _DanielandJillian_ it did.

"Jill," he said quietly, and she knew from the change in the tone of his voice that he didn't want to talk about the cubes any more.

She twisted enough to look at him.

"What?"

Unable to speak he held up the patch he had removed from his sleeve before coming into the room.

"You've gone back to SG1," she said.

"I know I should have talked to you about it first," he said hastily. "Please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad," she said. "And we did talk about it."

"We did?"

"In a very roundabout kind of way, but yes. I know you've been thinking about it. I know Mitchell has been asking you. We _haven't_ talked about what you're going to do now that we aren't going to Atlantis. It was inevitable, Daniel. It was a decision made the day you contacted the Ori galaxy."

Daniel stared at her. They shared at least seventeen languages and yet Jillian seemed to understand him the best by listening to the hidden silences. More than her love, her understanding had allowed him to belong, to release himself into the shelter and trust of her soul.

"Sam is back too, and Teal'c, so I won't be out there alone."

Jillian sighed and then made him even happier by sitting down on the stool at the table.

"Well I'm happy about that, obviously. Cameron's presence on the team is a wild card. Any idea how that is going to work? You've got seniority in experience and age. He and Sam are the same rank. Teal'c…well, Teal'c is Teal'c. He followed Jack for his own reasons. Those won't apply to Cameron."

Daniel shrugged. "I think he did it for Sam and me, and for himself. The Ori are as much of a threat to the new Jaffa Nation as anything. Maybe more. There are a lot of lost and shattered Jaffa out there who might see this as the real gods they thought they were worshipping. Their alliance is very fragile at the moment. Thousands of years of firing staff weapons at each other and killing each other's fathers and sons isn't going to end overnight. It doesn't need this kind of strain."

The guilt he felt at stirring up the hornet's nest that was the Ori surfaced momentarily. It was a useless feeling and he knew it. It made him feel helpless. It made him angry. It had the power to paralyze him and inaction was the last thing that was needed.

But if he was honest it was the thing that had driven him back to SG1.

"I don't know how it will work, Jill," he admitted finally. "I think we'll figure it out as we go. Sam and Mitchell have known each other forever. Sam and Teal'c and I have an established pattern. We'll adapt. I just know I need to be out there, and I need to do it with them."

He pressed a deep appreciative kiss against her forehead.

"I have a briefing in five minutes. But I wanted to tell you this in person, before the gossip network got hold of it. It'll be common knowledge in an hour."

Jillian smiled. "There was a betting pool. I wonder who won."

Daniel grinned at her. "Probably Mitchell," he said.

He expected her to laugh but instead she looked at him thoughtfully and said,

"Yes, I believe he did."

(0)

While Daniel was getting ready for a return trip to Maryland, Jillian sought out Cameron Mitchell. He was in the cramped room they had given him as an office. Mallory had Jack's old office, as the senior colonel on the base. But the head of SG1 warranted his own space too, especially now that there _was_ an SG1.

He came to his feet and stopped just short of coming to military attention. It was part Midwestern gentleman and part military training. Jillian didn't try to tell him it was unnecessary. It would be like asking him not to breathe.

"Jillian," he said, and at least they had worked out what he was going to call her.

"Cameron," she nodded and let him usher her into the chair in front of his desk.

"Do you want the big chair?" he asked. "It's more comfortable."

"This is fine," she said.

He hesitated and then went back to his seat, sitting carefully and then leaning forward.

"Did you come here to yell at me for talking your husband into being on SG1 again?" he asked.

Jillian almost smiled. Cameron liked his battles head-on and out in front. It was something she enjoyed about him.

"Cameron," she said patiently, "If you're going to work with Daniel then you should accept the fact that no one ever talks Daniel into anything. He does exactly as he pleases. If it happens to agree with what you want, then consider yourself lucky."

Cameron regarded her thoughtfully for a long time and then said, finally, "I'll keep that in mind. But then what _can_ I do for you?"

Jillian sat forward and pinned him with her wide, green, startling eyes.

"My husband has an..._annoying_ tendency to jump in front of Death and say 'take me instead.' I would like you to try to keep him from doing that, to the greatest extent possible, without putting yourself at any undue risk."

"Is he always that much trouble?" Cam asked. It wasn't the first indication he'd had that getting the 'band' back together was possibly going to take him into deeper waters than he was used to treading.

"Oh yes," Jillian replied, as if she had accepted it long ago. She tucked her chin a little, the way Jackson did when he was looking over the top of his glasses. "You've read all the reports? You must have picked up on it."

"I did," Mitchell said, "but I thought maybe I was putting too much into it. Then the General told me it was going to be my job to keep Jackson out of trouble, and now you're here telling me the same thing."

The General. Jillian didn't ask which one. For Mitchell, maybe for all of them now_, the General_ was always going to be O'Neill.

"If it's any comfort," she said, "most of the time when Daniel gets into trouble it won't be your fault. Most of the time it wasn't Jack's either. You can refer back to the beginning of this conversation if you want the reason for that."

In the short time he had been under the Mountain, Cameron had learned that Jillian seemed to be the one who reminded Daniel to eat, sleep, go home and basically live like a normal person. He sensed that without her, Daniel would forget to do those things and if he did go home it would be to fall asleep on the couch watching the History Channel just to make fun of it.

Jillian was the constant of Jackson's life – the balance between the fact that everything _normal_, all the reassuring routine of their life together, had always been hanging in a constant terrifying juxtaposition of things that could literally end the world as they knew it.

And now it was starting all over again, and Jackson would be in the middle of it without the one man Jillian probably trusted without question with her husband's life – the General.

"Because Jackson does what he wants," Cameron remembered.

"Yes," Jillian agreed, too easily.

Cameron understood then. Jillian wanted to trust him.

"I will do anything in my power to keep Jackson safe," Cameron said, "to keep all of them safe, really. You can't imagine I want to be the guy who permanently loses Dr. Daniel Jackson, the Hero Most Often Returned from the Dead."

"None of us want to be that," Jillian said, "But – and I'm going to swear you to secrecy now because I've never even said this to Daniel – I don't think Daniel is even afraid of death anymore."

"I thought his good buddy Oma was out of the picture for good," Cameron said, startled.

"I don't think he needs her to Ascend now. I think he knows how or at least he believes he does. The only thing Daniel is afraid of is upsetting me, and I'm going to give you the power to hold that against his throat like a knife if it will help stop him from doing something stupid."

"So I should carry a little picture of you around with me and flash it now and then?"

She smiled and Cameron was delighted with it. "Something like that. But he might not like another man carrying around a picture of me."

Privately, Cameron thought that his own life would be hanging by a thread if Daniel found out he was carrying a picture of Jillian – even if it was for Jackson's own good.

"I'll take care of him, Jillian," Cameron promised.

She stood up then, as if she had said everything she needed to and knew that it had been heard. Cam stood up with her, automatically.

"I know you will," she said, quietly.

(0)


	228. Chapter 228

**This will start the missing scenes and tags to Prototype. It helps enormously to be familiar with the order of that episode. The first section is prior to them leaving for the planet. The second is after the meeting in which Daniel wonders why they are keeping Khalek alive at all.**

**(0)**

Jillian had looked in all the usual places and had been unable to find Daniel. The information about what Khalek _really_ was had hit her hard. Anubis was not something Jillian ever wanted to revisit. Daniel had risked the wrath of the Ascended to eliminate him the first time around. She wasn't sure what he would do with the Anubis reboot. But she did know that someone like Woolsey was unlikely to slow Daniel down even for a moment. When Daniel decided to act, he would simply act and damn the consequences. He had advocated the willful murder of the clone and Jillian knew him well enough to know he would not back down from that. Daniel had decided…no, Daniel knew from personal experience that the world couldn't go a second round with Anubis.

Now she couldn't find him anywhere, and he wasn't answering his phone, leaving Jillian with a deep sense of disquiet. At last, Jillian sought Sam and found her in the library.

"Hey," Sam smiled, looking up. "Everything all right?"

"I can't find Daniel," Jillian admitted.

"Did you look in Observation?"

Jillian blinked. "Above Isolation 1?"

"Yes." Sam's answer was slow and she was watching Jillian carefully.

Jillian took a long breath and let it out deliberately. "Of course," she said. "He's watching Khalek, isn't he?"

She knew the man was restrained, drugged into a stupor and under guard – none of which would be enough for Daniel.

Sam nodded. "I think he's going to try to 'out' him, get him to admit who and what he is."

A visible shiver went through Jillian. Sam's expression was nothing but sympathetic, though the corners of her eyes were pinched with concern.

"Sometimes it's so long in between times that I forget what a ruthless bastard he can be," Jillian was looking at the floor and Sam wasn't sure if she even knew she had spoken.

"I know," Sam said, quietly. "We all feel the same way. I think Cam is in for a shock. He's only gotten the public versions of our lives."

Jillian nodded. "Cam knows the book guy, the historian, the unofficial diplomat and voice of the SGC's conscience. He doesn't know this Daniel. He doesn't know the _whole_ Daniel."

Cam had been unusually solemn and thoughtful since Daniel's blunt assessment that Khalek should be eliminated. Jillian could tell that Cam had already placed his new teammates into comfortable niches. Teal'c was the muscle and military experience. Sam was the techno-brain. Daniel, well, Daniel was one of the brains too, but mostly Jillian thought Cameron considered Daniel the heart and soul of SG1. Mitchell himself, ostensibly, would lead them and guard their backs while they worked.

This development was going to rock Mitchell's carefully stacked tower of blocks.

"Are you worried?"

"Of course I am," Jillian admitted. "This is Anubis, and I always worry about what is going to be the tipping point, the moment that takes Daniel so far into this side of himself that he can't come back out."

"I don't think that will ever happen, Jill," Sam said, instantly. "Daniel is too self-aware not to know he gets like this, and he's never going to be the one who shoots first. A peaceful option is always going to be his first choice – and his second and his last until there are no more options. What I don't understand about him is how he reconciles this part of himself with his basic instincts."

Sam was looking at Jillian almost hopefully, as if she might know the answer to the puzzle.

Jillian shook her head. "I don't think it's separate from his basic instincts. In fact, I think sometimes this _is_ Daniel and the person we see the rest of the time is the man he chooses to be. I know Daniel will say things just to hear those thoughts spoken out loud. It's as if he needs to hear them and needs to see the reactions to them to make up his own mind. Sometimes he sees things in his own mind so clearly that he needs someone else to offer the counter argument. He feels strongly that beliefs should be challenged, even his own. That's a big part of his relationship with Jack. Jack gives him that challenge all the time and Daniel has come to see the value in the military point of view because of it. Jack did that for him, opened his mind to those possibilities. In some ways it made it easier for Daniel to tap into that part of himself."

Sam nodded thoughtfully. Everyone knew Jack O'Neill's reputation as a guy who should not be crossed, a man who did not suffer fools lightly. But Sam knew, from too many discussions late at night around a campfire or on watch, that Jack had underestimated Daniel exactly once – on Abydos, right before Daniel had turned Ra's own staff weapon around and shot the guy.

Jack had never done it again, not even when they were only verbally sparring.

"Well, between the two of them, I'll take Jack's temper any day," Sam said. "Jack tends to explode and then it's done. Daniel…." She trailed off helplessly.

But Jillian was way ahead of her. "I know. Once Daniel is done with something or someone he can wait a very long time before dealing with it. But he _will _deal with it, and it will be sudden and final. Some things Daniel says are in the abstract. But there are a few things that…well, that mean exactly what he says. This thing with Khalek, this is one of those things."

Sam knew as well as Jillian that the only real absolute with Daniel was his devotion to the people he loved and his determination to keep them all safe. If that meant tapping into his own dark side then he would do it without hesitation.

"So what are you going to do?" Sam asked after a long moment of silence.

"I'm going to get him," Jillian said. "I'm going to try to make him eat and then I'm going to support whatever he wants and whatever he does."

Since both of them knew there wouldn't be much choice, Sam gave her a weak smile and said, "Tell me if I can help."

"I will, Sam," Jillian said, gratefully.

(0)


	229. Chapter 229

**Part two of the missing scenes from Prototype. Daniel and Jillian quote the poem of Pablo Neruda – ****'**_**Perhaps not to be is to be without your love'**_**. **

**(0)**

He was where Sam had said he would be – sitting at the Observation window, staring, one hand propping up his head as if he was bored. Jillian knew the set of his shoulders and the tension around his eyes betrayed anything but boredom.

Daniel glanced at her, drawn by the movement in the doorway. Even that glance was enough to freeze her. He looked away briefly and then turned back. The expression on his face was glacial, cold enough to burn. Abruptly he stood up and walked towards her. Jillian wanted to take a step backwards but she couldn't. It was like watching a class 5 tornado form – the conflicting winds of his basic nature clashing and swirling to become something deadly – knowing she couldn't move fast enough to get out of its way.

He was on top of her within strides, taking her arm firmly in his hand, turning her around and pulling her forcefully out of the room. Jillian wanted to know what had happened, if Khalek had spoken and if so what had he said. But she couldn't utter a sound. She expected the hand wrapped around her forearm to be cold but it was burning her like a brand.

"You're going home," Daniel informed her. She heard a sound in his voice like ice slowly splintering, ominous, the threat obvious. One false step and it was a plunge into frigid water.

She looked up at him and saw it in his eyes. Daniel was dancing on the knife edge of committing murder.

"Daniel," she began.

"_Now_, Jillian," he said, like a lightning strike on a winter midnight. "We'll call your father to come get you."

"I – I can drive," she said.

"You're still having dizzy spells. Alexander can come get you."

Jillian swallowed and stopped arguing. There was no arguing with him in this mood. The 'Daniel' who would do anything for her was gone. This Daniel would risk losing her forever, risk losing her love and devotion, face down her temper with the ferocity of a lion as long as it meant he had kept her safe.

He was silent on the way back to their quarters so that she could collect her things. He used the phone in his office to call her father when they stopped to get her laptop. Jillian gave him the space and silence, willingly. Loving Daniel was a journey through fire, ice and stars; moments spent in sunshine and moments spent in shadow.

Alexander called when he arrived at the first security checkpoint and Daniel said they would meet him there. Daniel stayed by her side – close, hovering, a silent sentinel – until the elevator doors opened and he handed her off to the only other man he trusted with her life.

Just before the doors opened he spoke for the first time in long minutes.

"Jill?"

"Yes?"

"You know that I love you, right?"

She nodded slowly and smiled at him bravely. "And you know that the only reason I _am_ is because you _are."_

The ghost of a smile thawed the ice in his eyes just briefly as he finished the poem. "And because of love _we_ will come to be."

Jillian kissed his cheek with the fingers of one hand resting lightly on his jaw, willing him to feel through her touch the fire and the tenderness of a true love.

"Be careful," she implored.

He dipped his head just enough to kiss the corner of her mouth.

"Be safe," he said.

He spared only a brief thank you and a nod for Alexander before going back into the elevator. Jillian kept eye contact with him until the doors had closed and he had vanished. She hovered for a moment until her father gently touched her elbow.

"Jillian? Is everything all right?"

She smiled sadly and shook her head a little. "No, Dad, or you wouldn't have been summoned to come get me. I hope you didn't have plans for today?"

"There isn't anything you and Daniel could ask of me that would make me refuse to change my plans," Alexander said, quickly. "But I can't help but be worried when your normally verbose husband barely says a word."

Jillian took her father's hand, needing the anchor. "Come on. I'll tell you about it in the car," she said.

(0)

The day passed in an agony of unknowing. Jillian did the chores her father allowed her to do and let him help with most of them. He had stopped at the grocery store on the way home and bought everything to teach her how to make homemade wonton soup, because lately she had been craving Chinese food and Alexander claimed he could make it better than takeout. One of the things Jillian had discovered about her father after a decade-long silence was that he loved to cook. It should have been a mother/daughter thing, Jillian had thought once. Now she loved sharing it with her dad.

She also loved how hard he was working at keeping her busy. He insisted they eat in the dining room and not at the breakfast bar, setting the table with the good china and making everything as appealing as possible.

In fact, he had to insist that she eat at all.

"Daniel told me to take care of you," her father said, firmly. "You are having a baby. You have to eat."

He was right and Jillian knew it. So she helped him make dinner.

Evening came as they cooked together. The sunset looked like streaks of blood across the sky, tinting clouds that seemed to be gathering with a threat of snow in them. Jillian closed the drapes to hold in the warmth.

To go with the soup Alexander made an Asian salad with mixed greens, dried cranberries, sesame dressing and crunchy chow mein noodles. They both drank tea, though Jillian missed the smell of Daniel's coffee.

After it was finished they cleaned up and Alexander started fires in the fireplaces. Jillian lit scented candles – desert scents of wildflowers and musk. She wanted the house to be as 'Daniel-centric' as possible when he came home.

Alexander chose a book downstairs in the library and brought it up. Then he urged Jillian to rest on the couch, covering her with a soft throw from the chair before settling himself there to read. She closed her eyes because she was pretty sure that was what her father wanted her to do. But it was impossible to fall asleep. Her stomach was in a knot, wondering what was happening to Daniel. She was afraid to call and distract him; and besides, he would call her as soon as he could.

Or someone would. But that didn't bear thinking about. She tucked her cell phone under the pillow and tried to rest.

As if sensing his mother's distress over his father, the baby was turning restlessly, making true sleep even more difficult. For her son's sake, Jillian tried to breathe deeply and force her muscles to relax.

_It's all right, baby,_ she thought, _your dad won't leave us. I know he won't._

The sound of the crackling fire helped a little. The warmth and the blanket and the comfort of her home surrounded her.

When her cell phone rang she sat up abruptly, reaching for it and knocking the pillow onto the floor. The caller ID said 'Sam' and for a moment she knew blood-icing panic. Fighting it down she answered.

"Sam?"

"_He's fine,_" Sam said, immediately, "_The threat's been eliminated and he's on his way home_."

Jillian's eyes slid closed in relief and she felt the blood start flowing in her veins again. Alexander had leaned forward anxiously and she said to him, "He's fine. Everything is fine."

"Oh, thank God," Alexander sighed, sinking back in the chair again.

To Sam, Jillian said, "How is he? Acting, I mean?"

"_He's still a little...distant. But he'll come around. It's why Landry ordered him to go home, I think."_

Jillian smiled a little. "We both know the military has never ordered Daniel to do anything, Sam. He's on his way home because he wants to be."

"_Yeah, you're right about that. Look, I'm beat. I'm going to grab a shower and head to bed."_

"Thank you, Sam," Jillian said, sincerely.

"_Take care of him,"_ Sam said.

"I will," Jillian promised and then clicked off the phone.

"Well?" Alexander asked.

"He's on his way home."

Satisfaction crossed Alexander's features, as if he had been waiting for the exact news he had just heard. He stood up, keeping his finger in the section of the book. Then he went to her, leaned over, and kissed the top of her head.

"He won't be long then," her father said, "I'll head downstairs and get ready for bed if that's all right."

"Yes, Dad, it's fine."

She stood up and hugged him tight. "Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime, Baby Girl," was his reply.

Jillian walked him to the top of the stairs, got one more goodnight kiss and then went to the kitchen. She had gotten Daniel a one-cup coffee maker for his birthday and he practically loved the damned thing. She chose one of his favorites and put it in, ready to push 'brew' as soon as she heard the garage door open.

It would help, she knew, if he came home to a warm fire and the smell of fresh coffee.

Anything to help him come back.

Jillian went into the bedroom, put on an oversized sweater because she knew how much Daniel liked the way it felt when he held her, and then settled on the couch to wait.

(0)


	230. Chapter 230

**Still tagging Prototype. The poem Jillian and Daniel quote is Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda.**

**(0)**

Jillian had never been more grateful to hear the garage door going up, and the familiar sound of Daniel's jeep pulling in, idling quietly for a moment before shutting off. Waiting for him, she had lapsed into aimlessly searching the internet with her laptop balanced on her knees, sitting in the chair by the fire and finishing the cup of tea her father had made her before he had gone to bed.

She set both aside hastily and ran to the back door, slowing to a casual-looking walk just before Daniel burst through the door. A huff of cold air from the garage followed him. He was wearing his blue BDU pants, his heavy combat boots and his brown leather jacket. His hair was disheveled, as if he had showered and toweled it dry and not given it another thought. There was a scent of sandalwood following him so Jillian assumed she was right about the shower. His eyes were nearly black behind the light reflecting off his glasses. There was a deep inverted V between his eyebrows and his mouth was set in a straight thin line. He looked…well, Sam was right; he looked distant.

Daniel had been right. Even without knowing the entire story, Jillian knew that it had gotten much worse before the end and Daniel had predicted it all. It was evident he took no joy in being right. Not this time.

"Hi," she said, uncertainly.

"Sam called you?" he asked, bluntly.

"Yes," she said. "She told me you were on your way home and the situation had been taken care of."

"Yeah," he said, drawing out the word as if he was just now considering the implications.

He smiled, weakly, as he leaned over and kissed the corner of her mouth in greeting. As she helped him off with his jacket the light downstairs flipped on and Alexander appeared at the bottom of the steps.

"Daniel?" he asked, peering up.

"Yes, Alex," he answered, "It's me."

"Everything all right?"

"It is now, yes," Daniel assured him. Still closed off, polite without being warm.

There was a slight hesitation and then Alexander North, lifelong diplomat, said, "I'll let your wife take care of you then. I am glad you are back safely."

"Thank you," Daniel said.

The light downstairs clicked off again and they heard the door of their guest room close with a firm click.

Daniel hung his jacket on one of the hooks that lined the wall by the back door and turned to take Jillian very gently in his arms.

"Hi," he said finally, into her hair.

Jillian slipped her arms around him, letting her hands rest on his shoulder blades. He was wearing only his black t-shirt under the jacket and even now she could feel him starting to get cold.

"Dad and I made wonton soup. Why don't you go change into something warmer and I'll heat some for you?"

He leaned back and she saw the first spark of her Daniel in his eyes. "You made wonton soup? From scratch?" He sounded skeptical and amused.

"Yes," she said, defensive but laughing.

Daniel put his arm around her shoulders and started walking into the kitchen.

"Was it hard?" he asked.

"Actually yes, though it tastes exquisite. Dad says it is better than take-out. But when I dared him to say that to Mama Chui he declined."

"Smart man," Daniel commented.

Jillian could already feel the rough hair on his arms starting to stand up, in spite of the fire and the current heat setting. She put a hand in the middle of his back and pushed him towards the bedroom.

"Go get changed."

He didn't argue. Jillian started the cup of coffee. It was decaf but it was also nine o'clock at night and she didn't need him high on caffeine right now. So he was just going to have to drink it and be happy.

She was putting the hot bowl of soup and the cup of coffee in front of a stool at the breakfast bar when he reappeared. He had changed into sweat pants and a sweatshirt. His feet were covered in a heavy pair of wool socks she had gotten him the previous Christmas.

His eyebrows lifted a little as he sat down. But he didn't say anything until after he had taken a few sample sips of soup.

"It's good," he said, finally. "Thank you."

"There's salad, too," Jillian offered. She was watching him carefully, waiting for the ice to crack and thaw so that he was melting back into being 'Daniel.'

"No, this is fine."

Cautiously Jillian moved around to sit on the bar stool beside him. She leaned slightly away from him, not wanting to invade his space unless he initiated it. With her hands pressed lightly between her knees her arms circled around their child.

Daniel glanced sideways at her.

"Are you all right?" He asked.

"Yes." She knew that was what he needed to hear. But it was also true.

"The baby?"

Her smile was genuine, because this also was true. "He's fine. He was very…_active_ a little while ago. But he's settled down now. I think he knows his father is home."

Daniel studied her carefully. "Because his mother is calmer now?"

"I'm glad it's over," she admitted.

"I scared you," he said.

"The whole thing scared me."

"Me too," he said. He ate until it was gone and finished the coffee, pushing both bowl and cup away from him. Jillian started to get off the stool to carry the dishes to the sink. Daniel caught her wrist in his hand and said, "Leave them. They can wait."

She let him pull her forward until she was standing between his spread knees.

"Do you still love me?" he asked, quietly.

Jillian smiled softly and stroked her fingers over his messy hair, smoothing it and pushing it behind his ear. "I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where _I_ does not exist, nor _you_."

Daniel's dark eyes grew moist as she quoted the poem from somewhere in her vast, brilliant memory.

He pressed her hand against his heart and laid his hand over it. Leaning down he kissed gently over her forehead and eyelids as he finished the stanza. "So close," he murmured, "that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

(0)

They left the dishes in the sink and Jillian coaxed him to come to bed. The fire was still burning softly in their bedroom fireplace and the warm was cheerfully warm. Warm enough apparently for Daniel to strip down to his boxers and tank shirt and slide into the flannel sheets with a deep exhalation of breath that might have been a sigh. He had kept his glasses on, she noted

"Do you want to watch some TV?" Jillian asked, slipping in beside him with the remote in her hand. She'd had a flat screen installed on the wall opposite the bed but they hardly ever used it. She had changed into a linen nightgown because she knew he liked the way it felt against his skin.

"Okay," he said, letting her snuggle in close, resting his heavily muscled arm around her shoulders.

Jillian was relieved that he seemed willing to accept the cuddling, close comfort that she wanted to give him. She pressed in and got lost for a moment in his body, so immediate now – the precious beautiful head hovering over hers, the broad-chested, slim-hipped, round-assed, long-legged body stretched out and taking more than half the bed. Long, slender fingers were fluffing through her hair where it spilled over her shoulder.

What she really wanted to do was slide her hand under the waistband of his boxers and slowly take him to that place where he wouldn't be able to think anymore.

But she didn't think that was what he wanted at the moment so she resisted.

Jillian swallowed hard and said, "Anything in particular?"

"Not sure what's even on," he grunted. His fingers ruffled through her hair some more. "You pick."

Jillian scrolled carefully. She skipped over the History and Science Channels. Those would just get him riled up and she needed him to relax. She skipped the pay-per-view as well. He'd watch that because he felt obligated to just because she had picked it and they had paid for it.

She scrolled more slowly through the movie channels.

_Constantine...a supernatural detective who had literally been to hell and back. _Ummm, no.

_Kingdom of Heaven_…No, that would have the same effect as the History Channel.

_Hitch…w_ould bore them both to tears in less than fifteen minutes.

"What about _Batman Begins_?" she asked.

"You like Batman," he said.

She gave a teasing little shrug. "He doesn't have super powers, he's a little wounded and he's rich. What's not to love?"

Daniel gave a little huff of self-deprecating laughter. "So I have two out of three of those. I guess I should count myself lucky. Go ahead and put that on."

Jillian chose not to ask him which two he thought he had. She selected that channel and snuggled down a little more as the opening scenes began to roll. Daniel's other hand came around and drifted down her arm. His fingers came to rest at last, feather-soft, on the swell between her hips.

Twenty minutes into the movie she asked him, "Do you need to talk?"

"Not now," he said, "Not yet. I'm here. You're here. That's all that matters right at the moment."

There was a slow but very deliberate movement beneath her skin, a gentle 'log roll' that pressed up briefly into Daniel's fingers. Jillian glanced up as it happened to watch his reaction. To her delight, Daniel smiled the first real 'Daniel-smile' she had seen in days. A soft sound of pleasure escaped his throat.

"Yeah," Daniel said, "I guess he's here too, and that matters."

It seemed to Jillian that the whole meaning for existence could be summed up by his last few sentences.

Daniel pulled his glasses off with one hand and tossed them in the general direction of the nightstand, where they landed, fortunately. He shifted down the bed and switched positions with her so that he was resting with his head against her breast. Their legs tangled. He had one arm draped over her waist and the other mushed up comfortably, caught between them, but he didn't seem to care. Jillian stroked his hair for a while and felt the way his body was relaxing. She suspected he was releasing the worst of the horrible stuff he was holding onto. Gradually he got heavier, falling towards sleep, emotional exhaustion dragging him under. Before the movie was half over, he was asleep.

Jillian watched it to the end, continuing to softly stroke his hair. When the movie ended she turned off the set and gently extracted herself from him. Daniel stirred, feeling her moving. He grabbed her hand when she tried to move away from him.

"I'm going to blow out candles and turn off lights. I'll be right back."

His grip relaxed but moments later when she came back to bed – the house safely secured for the night – he was reaching for her automatically. She backed into him, settling her spine against his chest, shifting up and in to fit her head under his chin. His arms came up and around her, crossed in front of her protectively. Daniel pressed tighter. He had gotten chilled in the short time she had been gone and he sought her warmth as flowers seek the sun.

She could tell from his breathing that he wasn't entirely back to sleep yet.

"Better?" She asked, quietly, when his blind seeking of her radiant warmth eased into another comfortable slump.

"Mmmm," he answered, then managed to press a grateful kiss into the shell of her ear.

Moments later she knew he was asleep again. Moments after that, so was she.

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	231. Chapter 231

The morning was misty gray with a frosty inch or so of snow on the ground. Jillian woke up first and glanced at the clock on the nightstand beside Daniel's glasses. It was just before 7am and if she did not have to use the bathroom she would have been quite content to snuggle back down and go back to sleep. She had rolled over at some point during the night, and was facing Daniel now. Her movements had disturbed him and he groaned, stretched.

Jillian kissed his forehead and then rolled out of bed. The house was chilly but the heat was set to come on in a few minutes. She finished in the bathroom, rinsed her mouth with something green and minty and brushed her hair. Back in the main room she turned on the gas fireplace and went back to the warmth of the bed she shared with Daniel.

He welcomed her with a sleepy sigh, kissed her cheek in a way that suggested he hadn't really been aiming and got out of bed. He hissed when his feet hit the floor, possibly regretting having slept only in his underwear. When he came back to the bed he was shivering and he smelled like the same minty stuff she had used.

He pushed almost desperately into her arms, pulling her close and nuzzling into her, kissing her in a slow, sweet sleepy way. He kissed her with just his lips, no tongue; not let's-make-love kisses, not do-me-right-now kisses. These were purely love-you kisses, morning kisses, still-mushy-with-sleep kisses.

Jillian rested her hand on his forearm and shocked herself by asking softly, "Tell me what happened?"

The muscles of his chest tensed beneath her cheek. Daniel leaned back, crystal clear blue eyes suddenly focused on her sharply. He tried to brush it off. "Before coffee?" he asked, feigning shock.

She smiled but didn't back down. "We do lots of things before coffee," she pointed out. Then she gave him a wide-eyed pleading look. "Please, Daniel. I was scared. I need to know what happened, and we have to let the heat come on anyway and warm up the house. So we're stuck here for a few minutes."

Daniel looked down into her face for a long time. This was the way it worked, and he knew it. They told each other the darkest stories of their lives, sometimes in the night, sometimes in the cold light of morning; sometimes in bleak despair, sometimes raging, sometimes in the same matter-of-fact tone of voice used in the briefing room.

Sometimes Daniel needed to probe the story from every angle over a series of weeks and perhaps months, telling it until it no longer had the power to hurt him; and sometimes he buried a story so deep Jillian knew they would never hear about it again. She was the only one who got this part of him and she knew it. Daniel didn't talk to anyone the way he talked to her. It was something she held sacred.

Normally she wouldn't push him but this time she needed to know. He seemed to have recovered from his icy temper, and she needed to know the threat to her husband and her child, her family and friends, her _world_-figuratively and literally-was over.

In the space of time it took for him to decide whether to tell her or not the sound of the heat coming on filled the room with a soft, reassuring hum. The curtain on the window by the fireplace shifted as the air began to blow up from the floor vent.

Seeing the fleeting pain and indecision in Daniel's eyes, Jillian leaned up on her elbow and kissed him, hard.

"It's all right," she said. "You don't have to tell me now. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"No, no," he said, pulling her back down and gathering her close. "I'll tell you. We can talk and then it won't be following us around all day."

Jillian laid back down to rest her head again in the place between his shoulder and his chest that seemed made for it. She reached for his hand and held it – an incongruously innocent gesture considering they were almost naked, tangled together under the sheets.

Daniel shifted onto his side a little and ran his knuckles down her arm. He draped a leg over hers, running it up and down so that the rough hairs raised chills on her tender skin.

"Nuh-uh," she said, teasingly. "No sex until you talk."

"That seems unusually cruel," he answered.

"It's usually not hard to get you to talk," she observed.

"True," he admitted. He took a long breath and his vision seemed to go unfocused, inward. "He broke free, eventually. It was inevitable. I wish he had been stopped before that but that's not what happened. He killed two SFs."

"Oh, god," Jillian breathed.

"It could have been worse," Daniel went on, in a voice so neutral that she was suddenly worried that he would descend into darkness again. "He threw Mitchell and two more SFs into a wall. He could have killed them but he didn't. I suppose he figured he'd made his point."

"Is Cameron all right?"

"Yes. Hit his head pretty hard, he's being kept for observation. He'll be fine."

"Okay," she said.

"We had a plan, Teal'c, Sam, and Mitchell and me. When he – Khalek – broke free we implemented it. I wasn't sure it was going to work at first. Mitchell was delayed in getting to the Gate Room. Everything depended on at least two of us getting there at the same time. Sam…Sam had rigged the call forwarding device on 584 to automatically send anyone back here. So we knew there wasn't any harm in letting Khalek think he had succeeded in dialing the Gate and escaping. He was taken off guard when he walked back through. Mitchell drew his fire and while he was distracted, I shot him."

"He didn't deflect it?" Jillian kept her voice as neutral as Daniel's.

He shook his head slightly, "He didn't seem to know I was in the room. Mitchell made himself a deliberate target. The original plan was for Teal'c and Mitchell to team up on him, but Teal'c got hung up on a security door that wouldn't open without a crowbar. He got it open enough to squeeze Mitchell through, but couldn't hold it to get through himself. I was in the Control Room with Sam and when I didn't see Teal'c, I went down myself. Once Khalek was wounded it was a simple matter to finish it."

Jillian closed her eyes, swallowed. Murder was never simple, but she doubted that Daniel considered this murder. For him it was eliminating a threat to his world. She doubted that Daniel even considered Khalek human. Daniel had ended Khalek's existence the way he would attack cancer.

"Is Teal'c all right?"

Daniel blinked and seemed to come back into himself. "Yes, why wouldn't he be?"

"Because he and Mitchell tried to keep you from having to do this," Jillian said. "They are the military members of your team. They are trained for it, way more than you are. They didn't want it to be you to pull the trigger. Teal'c was trying to protect you from…" Jillian stopped. _From yourself. _But she couldn't say that out loud. "From having to do that. He would be upset that he failed."

Daniel pondered that. "I hadn't thought of that, when we made the plan. But I guess you are right. I was always the back up. It didn't occur to me to wonder why." He was still for another moment and then he said, "I'll call him later."

"Good," she said, pressing up and laying a soft kiss on the morning bristle shadowing his jaw. "You know that plan was brilliant right?"

"Well, Sam's a genius. Really. Not just a saying. Mitchell's not too bad at military strategy apparently, according to Teal'c anyway. He approved the plan."

"That says something," Jillian mused thoughtfully. Teal'c had at least ninety years more of age and military experience than Cameron at his disposal. It gave her more confidence in Mitchell's leadership of the team. "Daniel…thank you for telling me. Thank you for…protecting me."

He looked down at her. "I wasn't going to let him hurt you, Jill. Not you or the baby."

"I know," she said and then, gratefully, he let her distract him with a series of long and wonderful kisses. In between kisses and soft gasps for breath, Jillian felt the last of whatever was dark and deadly in Daniel dissolve. They drew a breath at the same time, drew back to look into each other's eyes. "Coffee now?" she asked, at last.

His smile was lazy, casual, utterly and unmistakably 'Daniel'.

"I thought you'd never ask," he said.

(0)


	232. Chapter 232

They had breakfast with Alexander, who insisted on making waffles. Jillian visited with her father, lingering over tea and coffee, after Daniel had excused himself to disappear downstairs and shut the office door behind him. At Alexander's questioning eyebrow, Jillian said, "He needs to write the report, and he needs to do it now. It's part of the catharsis. The debriefing is in a few hours. It will help him get his thoughts in order."

Daniel had already been on the phone with the SGC and had spoken to Mitchell. Everything was quiet, shockingly back to normal after the uproar of the previous day. It had seemed to clear the last of Daniel's chill.

"Jillian?" Alex asked, hunching over on the breakfast bar, one arm folded in front of him and the other hand wrapped around his coffee mug. "Is Daniel always that…cold when he's being overprotective?"

"No," Jillian said, "He's always overprotective. He's just that cold when there's even the slightest threat."

Alexander gazed into his drink for a moment. "If that is how he gets over a minor threat, I'd hate to see him during a full blown crisis."

Jillian didn't meet her father's eyes as she cleared away some of the breakfast dishes.

"The possibility of someone with the knowledge and abilities of Anubis being reborn isn't a minor threat, Dad," she said. "But no, if there is a full blown crisis, you probably wouldn't want to be around Daniel."

"Does that make you feel safe?" Alexander asked quietly. He was watching his daughter carefully.

"For myself, personally, yes. There isn't anything Daniel wouldn't do to make sure I was safe."

"But you worry about losing him," he guessed.

"We all worry about losing the people we love, Dad," she looked at him pointedly. "Don't we?"

He sighed. "Yes, Baby Girl, we do."

Jillian put the dishes in the sink and said, too cheerfully, "Besides, Daniel doesn't want to hurt me like that again, so it makes him more cautious now. He knows what I went through without him."

"No one can really know, Jillian, without actually going through it. He can guess, but he can't _know_."

She heard the old thread of pain in her father's voice. She had always thought he would remarry at some point, but it had been decades since her mother's death and Alexander was still alone.

"You loved her very much, didn't you?" she asked.

Alexander's smile was sad and misty. "The trite thing to say is 'more than you can ever imagine'. But I can't say that to you. I think you love Daniel just as much, if not more."

"I know you miss her," Jillian said, knowing that sounded trite as well.

Alexander stood up as if he was trying to shake off a sudden melancholy. He brought his dishes to the kitchen, walking around the bar and coming to stand next to her at the sink. He pressed a fatherly kiss of affection into her hair.

"When you have your daughter, I hope she looks exactly like you," he said.

Jillian's breath caught a little. "Dad," she said, "I know how much I look like Mom. Are you sure that's what you want?"

"I'm positive," he answered, "You've kept her alive for me, every moment since she died. The way you laugh, the way you smile, the way the light hits your hair, the way you _think_ and process life. It has helped me remember her in all the good ways, Jillian. Her loss was – and is – like a living wound to me. It will never heal. But without you my actual memories of what she was like would have faded. To see that all again in another generation…well, that would be amazing to me."

When he finished, there were tears in her eyes. Alexander laughed in a husky way and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Oh please don't cry," he said. "If Daniel comes up here and finds out I made you cry, he'll put me through a wall."

"They're good tears, Dad. Daniel would understand."

Jillian wasn't sure how long they stayed in the kitchen after that. It could have been ten minutes. It could have been an hour. All she knew was that when they were done, everything was cleaned up, the kitchen was sparkling and she knew, without a doubt, exactly how much her father loved her.

By the time Daniel re-emerged from the downstairs, Alexander had taken his things out to the car and was ready to head home. He kissed Jillian twice, once above each eyebrow and shook Daniel's hand, clasping it between both of his for a moment. A short, communicative look passed between them and then Alex let himself out the front door. Jillian watched him through the sidelight by the door until he had gotten safely to his car. When she turned around, Daniel was watching her with a look of amused adoration on his face.

"What?" she asked.

He reached for her wrist, took it in his long, strong fingers and coaxed her to come closer to him. It didn't take much coaxing. She yielded willingly, because it was Daniel and because she was intrigued by the look on his face.

Daniel pressed her hand over his heart and gazed down into her face. Without saying another word he dug into the pocket of his jeans, pulled a gold bracelet, shimmering with amethyst stones and clasped it around her wrist.

Jillian inhaled sharply. "Daniel! What? I…I don't understand? What is this?"

"It's the bracelet you saw when you were in the jewelry store with Scotty that day. Isn't it? He said it was. If it's the wrong one we can…."

"No," her voice was trembling with delight. She held up her arm to turn the bracelet, watching it catch the light. "No, it's the one. It's perfect. But I still don't understand. Have we started remembering obscure anniversaries with very expensive gifts suddenly?"

Daniel shrugged. "You saw it. You liked it. You wanted it. That's good enough for me. I don't need a day, or a tradition, to buy you something just to make you happy. If you want something to celebrate we can say that we are two days past the halfway point to being parents and you have been incredible every moment of the last twenty weeks."

For the second time that morning Jillian was moved to tears.

"I was teasing when I told you about this on the phone," she said. "But I thought maybe for Christmas or my birthday. You usually don't forget those, or our anniversary. You'll remember that, you said. That was the whole point of it being 04/04. Right?"

Daniel laughed and drew her into the circle of his arms. "You deserve something perfect every day. I married you determined to make you happy every day. All of this, everything I do is for you. Yes, I plan to celebrate our first year together in some spectacular way – well as spectacular as possible considering we'll have a son who will only be a few weeks old by then. But I got this only because I want you to have it; and I want you to remember how much I love you every time you wear it."

Jillian caught the back of his neck in her hand and pulled him forward, down. Tilting her face up to his in invitation she said, "I don't need a visual reminder. I _feel_ how much you love me. But the bracelet is beautiful, and you're beautiful and the way you love me is beautiful and I am _so _grateful for you."

Then she had to stop talking because her mouth was sealed with his and, in the silence of the kiss, they were both saying _you are mine. Mine. _

_Now. Forever. Always._

(0)

Teal'c's deep, gentle bass voice rolled through the security door when Jillian knocked on it.

"Come in," he rumbled.

Jillian opened and shut the door. Teal'c was standing by the bed opening a newly-delivered box of candles. There were several unopened boxes stacked on the floor.

"Jillian Jackson," he said, with a slight nod of his head.

She smiled and went to perch slightly on the edge of the bed."Can I help?"

"Daniel Jackson would no doubt be displeased with me for letting you lift so onerous a burden."

Jillian swore that Teal'c was laughing. His eyes were twinkling merrily. Smiling back at him she picked one of the candles out of the box.

"Gardenia?" she said, reading the label on the bottom. "Tired of vanilla?"

"I thought it was time to try something different," the reply was mild and the twinkle was still there.

"I wanted to thank you," Jillian said, without any further preamble.

"For?" Teal'c prompted, lifting an eyebrow.

"What you did for Daniel, or at least tried to do." Teal'c's silence encouraged her to continue. "I know that you were trying to keep him from having to...execute Khalek; to keep him from being dragged further into that darkness that claims him sometimes."

Teal'c regarded her so inscrutably, she had no idea what to think. He moved the box onto the floor and sat down next to her. The whole bed tilted.

"It is not darkness. There is nothing 'dark' in Daniel Jackson, not in the way I think you mean it."

"I'm not talking about Star Wars, Teal'c," Jillian says.

"Are you not?" he asked, and Jillian was reminded once again that he was almost one hundred years older than she was.

She smiled and tilted her head. "All right, Obi Wan, what am I not seeing then? He's my husband. I think I know him pretty well."

"You have not seen him in the same combat situations that I have," Teal'c reminded her. "It is not a 'darkness' that overtakes him. It is a 'nothingness.' It is where good men go when they have to do something that goes against everything they believe. Daniel has perfected this. He will never again lose something that he loves or values. But this often means he must act in a way that is contrary to his basic nature. It is difficult for him. If there is justice in the world, it will always be difficult for him. He does not act from anger, or vengeance. He acts because he is forced to act. He defends. He does not attack."

Jillian studied him. "So he's Luke Skywalker," she said finally.

"In some ways," Teal'c acknowledged.

"You don't mind if I don't tell him that?"

The Jaffa shook his head with a soft smile.

"I'm still grateful that you and Mitchell planned to be the ones who…you know. Even if it's just 'nothing' and not 'darkness', Daniel scares the hell out of me when he's like that. I'm not happy that it was going to be you, but I am still _very _grateful. I don't know what we would do without you."

Teal'c stood up and now the smile on his face was a wolfish baring of his teeth. "Without me," he said, "there would be no Chewbacca."

Jillian stood up too, raised up on her tiptoes so she could put her arms around his neck. Teal'c hugged her back lightly.

"Chewie was always my favorite," she said.

(0)


	233. Chapter 233

**This will finish the tags to Prototype.**

**(0)**

Cameron was worried about Daniel, but there hadn't been much he could do about it. Cam knew that part of his job as team leader was sweep-up detail. Sam was fine. Her part in it had been minor if crucial. Her military training helped her process what had to be done and deal with it. When Cam had seen her last she had looked tired but slightly euphoric, eager to go home and effusive in her reassurance that she was fine. Teal'c had simply inclined his head in a way that indicated he had accepted the way the plan had played out. He had gone off, Cam assumed, to meditate.

But Daniel had shut Cam out completely after they had ended Anubis's second chance at immortality with a blaze of gunfire. It was clear to Cam that Jackson hadn't liked it, hadn't wanted jokes or even a pat on the back afterwards. Daniel had acted out his part in the drama with a cold detachment unlike anything Cam had ever seen in combat. Cam hadn't known the civilian member of his team could be such a hardass.

There was no one left to talk to about Jackson except for Jillian, and that hadn't been possible until she and Daniel returned to the base the following afternoon. He'd been looking for her for a while when he finally ran into her in the corridor heading for the commissary.

"Jillian!"

She stopped and turned to favor him with a welcoming smile. "Cameron," she said by way of greeting. "Is everything all right?"

"Well that's kind of what I wanted to ask you."

"Me?"

"I'm worried about Daniel," Cameron admitted.

He expected her to need clarification, to ask him why. But all she did was nod quietly as if she already knew. Her smile was sympathetic.

"Daniel's in the gym, so he won't be coming to find me any time soon. I was about to get some lunch. Would you like to join me? We can talk."

"I'd really like that."

They didn't speak again until they were sitting down at a table in the far corner – the signal that they wanted a small degree of privacy. That signal would be honored, considering who they both were. Mitchell insisted on carrying the tray and Jillian only drew a small line by getting her own raspberry iced tea from the machine.

"It must be hard for you to come in, thinking you had a handle on who we all are from reading the reports, only to be confronted with a different reality," Jillian said. Then she started eating her turkey sandwich on whole wheat so that Cam was free to say whatever he wanted.

"I'm not sure it's really that different," Cam said. "In all the mission reports, there's an anti-snake theme that runs through Daniel's actions. It goes all the way back to the first mission to Chulak when he eliminated that tank of baby Goa'uld."

"Sam told me about that later. It wasn't that he 'eliminated' them, as you say. It was that he had started to walk away and then turned without any warning and – in Sam's words – shot it to hell with pinpoint accuracy. She said it was the kind of thing she had seen in hardened combat vets, not something she had ever expected from an academic with less than a year in the field."

Cam didn't answer right away. He applied ketchup and mustard to his cheeseburger and waited to see if Jillian would keep talking. After a moment she did.

"When he was searching for the Harcesis and finally found him, Daniel pleaded with Jack to disarm. He knew what would happen if anyone tried to stop Oma from leaving the planet. He has a gift for persuasion. But he didn't say a word to the squad of Jaffa who were in just as much danger; and he never regretted their loss. It put a strain on his friendship with Teal'c for a while."

That surprised Cam. He swallowed, washed the bite down with a bit of Coke and said, "Why?"

"Teal'c was never fighting for the freedom of Apophis's Jaffa. His dream was much bigger. It was freedom for _all_ Jaffa. He thought Daniel should have at least tried to warn them, that in warning them and saving their lives it would have sent a message. Daniel's position was that the Jaffa would have just opened fire on his team anyway and he wasn't sure if Oma would stop them. In hindsight Daniel was probably right. Oma was already pushing the 'non-interference' boundary to the breaking point. She had achieved her objective. There was no reason for her to save them. But Teal'c was more…upset, if that's a word we can ever apply to Teal'c. Daniel was pretty cavalier – casual, almost – in the face of what, to him, was only collateral damage."

Cameron took all that in while he worked on his French fries. But Jillian wasn't done.

"He left Chaka behind to start a slave uprising. He had to have known people would die in the process. I'm not sure if he could have really stopped Chaka, but the point is he didn't even try. None of them did. Not Jack, or Sam, or Teal'c. But the only concern to me was that Daniel didn't. Daniel, who has negotiated some of the trickiest peace treaties in the known galaxy, didn't even try. He left them there, armed and dangerous, and walked away. I was with him then and I couldn't get him to talk about it at all. All that he would say is that talking would never have worked."

"So how do I deal with the guy?" Cameron asked, feeling suddenly as if he had been on a pleasant stroll and found himself in quicksand. He was having a hard time with the idea that his archaeologist teammate wasn't always just a peaceful explorer.

"Daniel has his own definition of what is right, and he'll tolerate a lot within that definition. I can't tell you how to deal with him. You're going to have to figure that out yourself."

"It sounds like it all comes down to what Daniel decides the world can do without," Cameron observed.

Jillian smiled a little – only sixty watts and not her usual two hundred – but it was a smile nonetheless. "Arrogant bastard, isn't he? Thinking he has the right to decide things like that?" Cameron gave a short bark of laughter that turned her smile up another few watts. "I love him, Cameron, more than you can imagine; that attitude of his is actually one of the reasons. I understand it can be hard for a lot of people to understand. But there's a reason he and Jack O'Neill hit it off. Neither of them suffer foolishness gladly, if at all. Both of them are willing to be the one who sets the world right. I think Jack is willing to let that damage his soul a little each time, and Daniel isn't. So he shuts off or he pulls out a part of his soul that is already lonely and isolated and so damaged that it doesn't matter anymore. _I'm_ not even sure which."

She leaned forward and rested her folded arms on the table. "Daniel has lost everything, twice. He's never going to let that happen again – not to himself and not to anyone he loves. If it was up to him I'd live in a house with a barbed wire fence and guard towers. As it is, we have the best security system in existence – Asgard-technology enhanced. If he could design a house that would simply destroy someone who didn't belong there he would. But I know it isn't easy for him.

"Given his choice, Daniel would live peacefully and in harmony with everything. He's just learned the hard way that isn't possible. That's where the hardness in him comes from – the absolute certainty that bad things can happen. So he's always watching for them, searching out the cracks and leaks before the dam bursts. So he can fix them."

"Y'know," Cameron said, "this whole conversation is not really helping me feel better. I had this idea…I kind of thought...you know, Sam is the brains, Teal'c is the military might, and Daniel would be the one helping me find a peaceful solution…."

Jillian's eyebrows lifted and Cam rubbed the back of his neck as if it ached.

"You're starting to have a better idea of how complex the people you work with really are," she guessed.

"Yeah, that," Cameron said, "and that maybe I better have a sound plan to stay on Jackson's good side."

"That would be good," Jillian said, smiling a little more brightly.

They were prevented from continuing when Daniel appeared in the doorway. He didn't scan the room for them. Cameron suspected he had known where Jillian was immediately, the way he would know where his own heart was. Jackson didn't smile right away. In fact, there was a frown furrowing his forehead. Cameron realized instantly that Daniel was worried that Cam had done something to upset Jillian. Judging by that expression, if Jackson had found Jillian looking anything but happy they would have had words; and Jackson's tongue was sharper than the carving knife at Thanksgiving.

Cam was relieved that Jackson had entered when Jillian was smiling. He walked over to them and leaned over to kiss Jillian, who turned her head up willingly to meet him full on the lips.

"Feel better?" she asked.

"Yes, do you want something else?" He nodded towards her almost empty plate.

"They have chocolate cake today, and I'm still a little hungry," she answered.

"Done," he answered.

Daniel returned with a tray of food and a piece of cake and Cameron realized something else. Daniel looked a lot more natural in baggy BDU's carrying cafeteria food than he did with a gun in his hand, which was probably why everyone underestimated him. Appearances, in Daniel's case, really were deceiving.

_You're going to have to watch out for Daniel. _General O'Neill had said that to him. Mitchell had taken it to mean what he thought Jillian had meant, that Jackson was the clueless science geek who wandered into danger without meaning to. Cam thought it meant it was part of his job to keep Daniel out of trouble. Now he saw the other side of it-watch out _for_ him. Jackson wasn't like any other civilian Mitchell had sworn an oath to protect. It was Jackson who'd opened up the Stargate, who stepped across galaxies and stirred up every hornet's nest he could find – Goa'uld and Unas and Ori and god knew what would be next. Cameron understood now that Jackson was damned dangerous because he'd work outside conventional means, every time, and he had his own scorecard. Hell, no wonder Cam had seen how people walked soft around him; how people rarely called him 'Daniel' even when they were invited to.

Cam had fought hard to get the band back together. But he was just now realizing it wasn't all grand adventure. This was the Big Leagues. The price of failure was the end of everything. He glanced up as he pushed his empty plate away and found Daniel's stare on him, hard. He gave it back but it was like being swept into a swiftly running river.

"You okay?" Cameron asked, finally.

Daniel nodded, then shrugged. "We weren't the first ones to pull the trigger," he said.

"But we were the last," Mitchell said. "Most times, that's all that counts." Daniel nodded and Cameron knew it was in agreement. He felt no small sense of accomplishment, to have said the right thing to Jackson. "You guys up for a movie? I just rented _Alien vs. Predator_. Teal'c's already said yes."

"You're thinking about starting a team movie night?" Daniel asked.

"We could," Cam said, thoughtfully.

"Sam can't make it tonight," Daniel said with certainty. Cam wondered how he could possibly be so sure.

"Doesn't mean the rest of us can't do it," Cam said.

Daniel glanced at Jillian and Mitchell knew that the decision was hers. Daniel might bully her with anger to protect her; but in their daily existence she was in charge.

"Sure, why not?" She said, "Sounds like fun.

Mitchell didn't remember the rest of the conversation, not in detail anyway. All he knew was that it turned to lighter matters and he learned that Jillian was a hopeless sci-fi geek who didn't mind debating the moral issues of "Battlestar Galactica". He only remembered that Daniel and Jillian looked at him warmly and laughed at his jokes and for the first time since coming to the SGC, Cameron felt as if he had started to understand his team a little better; that he really belonged here with them.

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	234. Chapter 234

**This is set between Prototype and the Fourth Horseman part 1.**

**(0)**

Jillian's 28th week of pregnancy brought a whole new set of issues for Daniel to deal with. The holidays had kept her busy enough to burn off her excess energy. But as January rolled in with its gray skies and incessant snow, Daniel could tell that her Caribbean-loving soul and high IQ were chafing under the limitations imposed by a pregnancy they still considered risky. Jonathan Daniel Jackson had been conceived under the most unique circumstances. Losing him was unthinkable.

Jillian had been amazing, remarkable in the face of the challenge. She hadn't made a single noise that sounded like a complaint. But going into her seventh month Daniel could see things changing. She was cranky, quiet and yet restless at the same time. There were only so many tablets he could ask her to translate, only so many languages to create dictionaries for, only so many artifacts to catalogue. There was only so much jewelry he could buy her and so many roses he could surprise her with in an attempt to remind her that spring – and the birth of their son – was getting closer.

In the end it was the nightmares that made the decision for him. Jillian didn't have nightmares. At least not that Daniel had ever known. But when she woke up three nights out of seven in the middle of the night, gasping and reaching for him, when her voice broke trying to say his name and she clung to him shaking, breathing in sobs…. Well, then it was time to do something.

It wasn't an idea he was in love with. But it was safe and it would bring the light back into her eyes. Being pregnant hadn't lowered Jillian's IQ. The lack of any kind of serious challenge was letting all her fears and uncertainties surface. She had spent eight years seeing the wonders of the galaxy and taking an active part in saving the Earth. For the last seven months she had done nothing but travel from their house to the Base, and even then, only on the days he determined the roads were safe. If it continued like this much longer, Jillian would snap.

She was in the office, shopping on his computer for baby clothes. He thought it was adorable but she was frowning when she looked up. He had a red rose in a tall slender vase in one hand and a video disc with the other. He put the vase on the desk and handed her the disc.

"What's that?" She asked, and forced a smile, "Another language to translate?"

"No," he said, kissing her temple. "This is something from the Gamma site, something you are going to love."

She sat up a little. "Really? The Gamma site?"

"Yeah, they've been doing UAV fly-overs of the surrounding areas. This is something they came across."

He put the disc in the drawer on the hard drive and let it load. As the images played out on the screen he felt his wife's attention being drawn. She became tense, excited and finally said, in a trembling voice, "Daniel…. Oh my god. Do you know what this looks like? No, of course you do or you wouldn't be showing it to me. This is…. This could be…."

Daniel leaned over to press a kiss on her shoulder. "_Al A'akheed vach altira'av chad,"_ he murmured, "The Marvel of Mankind. The palace of Emperor Nebuchadnezzar II, the king Of Babylon, built for his beloved wife, Queen Amytis, along with the Hanging Gardens, because she missed the green hills and valleys of her homeland. Wait. Watch…. See? The ruins here? They look exactly like the descriptions, doesn't it?"

Jillian was almost breathless, quoting the writings from memory. "_In this palace he erected very high walks, supported by stone pillars; and by planting what was called a pensile paradise, and replenishing it with all sorts of trees, he rendered the prospect an exact resemblance of a mountainous country. This he did to gratify his queen, because she had been brought up in Media, and was fond of a mountainous situation."_

"Josephus, about 100 BCE," Daniel remembered. "I'm giving it to you."

She wrenched her eyes from the screen and stared at him. "What?"

"Nebuchadnezzar gave it to his wife. I'm giving it to you. I want you to head the archaeological survey."

"It's on _another planet."_

"One that is only a few hours away on the Prometheus, which is doing a supply run that includes everything for an archaeological survey and leaving in a few weeks."

"Daniel," Jillian whispered. Then she shook her head. "You don't let me leave the house if there is more than two inches of snow on the ground."

"You'll be safe. The site is a short drive from the Gamma site. They have a state of the art medical facility and in any kind of emergency you can come through the Gate. We know we've brought women through in their third trimesters before and it's been fine."

"I can't believe you're even considering this."

"This is archaeology. This is _my _call. You aren't on maternity leave and under any other circumstances I'd give this to you without hesitation. I can't keep you in a cage anymore."

"I'm not in a cage…"

"Yes you are. It's a pretty cage, surrounded by a picture perfect winter landscape most of the time. But it's still a cage and you're going crazy in it. I know this because _I'd_ go crazy in it. All you've seen for months is the four walls of our house and the basement we work in."

"But how will we see each other if I'm living at the Gamma site?"

"In case you missed it, I can still go through the Stargate."

"Whenever you want?"

Daniel tucked his chin and looked at her over the top of his glasses. He had an unspoken power at the SGC, one he rarely used and never abused, mostly because it wasn't power that had ever interested him. Apparently, it interested him now.

"I love you, Jillian. I want you to be happy."

She turned and reached for his hands to take them in hers. "I _am_ happy."

"No, not the last few weeks," he said. "I _know_ you. I know what puts the light in your eyes and this is the first time I've seen it in a while. I'll be with you for the first week anyway. Then I'll come and go as needed. Don't even try to tell me you don't want it. I know you do."

Jillian looked back at the images scrolling past on the screen – overgrown terraces being held back by stained marble walls, colonnades reaching for the heavens with heavy vines twining around them, a staircase climbing past the terraces, cracked and broken but with ancient glory evident in its majesty.

"Oh god, yes, I want it. Anything we can find there might help us locate anything that might be left here on Earth."

Daniel let go of her hands and straightened up. "Which would be somewhere in the middle of Iraq, where you will _not_ be going under any circumstances."

Jillian didn't argue with him. She was staring riveted at the screen again. "Look, Daniel," she said, clutching his arm. "That has to be an aqueduct! And here, see, that's an engraving of a winged lion, very common in Babylonian mythology."

"The image of Shedu, a god of protection," Daniel said, "I'll take that as a good sign."

"It was also the first beast that appeared to the Prophet Daniel and is interpreted to be the symbol of Babylon. Oh, god, Daniel. This is _amazing_."

She stood up and stretched to put her arms around his neck, turning her lower body sideways and leaning against him.

"Thank you," she whispered, "I love you so much, Daniel. Are you sure about this? I know we have the Stargate but it will still mean being separated by light years."

Daniel looked down into the eyes of the woman who had never left him even when he had left her; the woman who had thought of him every day of a fifteen month 'enlightenment' that had left him wiser only about what he truly wanted.

Nothing in the known Universe compared to her.

He leaned down to kiss her forehead and then smiled against her skin. "Believe me, there is nothing I want but to be as close to you as possible. But yes, in this case, I can be okay with this."

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	235. Chapter 235

**This will set up the events just before The Fourth Horseman, parts 1 and 2.**

**(0)**

Jillian glanced over at the dashboard of the ATV Daniel was driving but couldn't see the speedometer. They were driving the short distance from the underground Gamma site to the recently discovered ruins. It seemed to Jillian that they were crawling.

"Daniel, are you doing more than 15 miles an hour?" she asked.

The glance he shot sideways at her was more than a little alarmed. "Ten, actually. Why? Are you uncomfortable? I can go slower."

"If you go slower I might as well walk."

"No!"

He sounded horrified but Jillian laughed. "I'm not made of eggshells," she noted.

"Oh no," Daniel was shaking his head, with his eyes glued on the terrain ahead of them. "You are much more fragile than that."

"Daniel!"

He ducked his head a little, which for Daniel always meant that he knew he was probably being ridiculous but he wasn't going to back down at all. It was the kind of submission that said he was willing to admit to being an annoying pain in the ass while still stubbornly continuing to do it.

"You know what I mean," he said, "You are...you are…_everything._"

Her smile spoke of understanding and a willingness to relent in the face of his anxiety. "So are you," she said.

Daniel let go of the steering wheel with his right hand and curled it around her left hand. He didn't say anything, just smiled at her gently, glancing sideways until she squeezed his hand tight.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked.

The jeep hadn't been made for comfort. It had been made to transport people over rugged terrain. It certainly had not been made for the comfort of someone who was seven months pregnant, and Jillian couldn't remember the last time a seat belt had fit her comfortably. It must have been two months ago. In spite of Daniel's cautious speed, the bouncing was inevitable and she was going to have to find the nearest latrine as soon as they reached the ruins.

Telling him any of that was pointless. It would just make him more anxious.

"I'm fine, Daniel," she said. "I just want to get to the site."

"Are you cold?"

"No, I'm not cold."

"Are you too warm?"

"Daniel!"

"All right."

Jillian sat back in the seat and rested her head for a moment. All of this was digging at too many of Daniel's old scars. The emotional pain he had suffered that was so great he couldn't even put it into words, or he had never even tried. It was an emotional bloodstain on his heart and soul, the kind of wounds that had left him crippled inside. Jillian knew that he had risked a lot to fall in love with her, to take the steps forward that had been necessary for them to even have a friendship, much less what they had now.

It was love that had broken his heart. It was love that had healed it. But sometimes Jillian wondered if a heart like Daniel Jackson's could be satisfied with so volatile an emotion. He was so intense in everything he did. She knew that Daniel let his love for her manifest in gentle demonstrations – like bringing her flowers, and respecting her opinions even when he disagreed with them; like setting out to know her better than anyone else in the world.

Like putting her in charge of an off-world archaeological site when all he really wanted was for her to stay in a nice comfortable chair for the next ten weeks, somewhere as close to the infirmary as possible.

But love made Daniel burn inside. He did a great job of keeping all of that tamped down, tightly guarding his feelings for most of his life. But the way he felt slipped out in ways he wasn't aware of. Jillian had fallen in love with Daniel instantly. She had stayed in love with Daniel in large part because of his heartbreaking search for Sha're. Daniel had proven to her over and over that he was a man who was willing to commit; and once committed, he was unshakable.

Jillian had only a few precious memories of her mother. One of those was a conversation they'd had about men and marriage. _"Your heart is a treasure, Jillian. You should only offer it to a man who is worthy of it."_

She could hardly be impatient about Daniel's devotion when it was one of the things that had attracted her in the first place.

"Are you having second thoughts about letting me do this?"

His sideways glance was short and sharp. "No," he said, then paused, inhaled and admitted, "and I don't like to think of it as 'letting' you do this. You'd have wanted it the minute you heard about it. Babylon is _your _area of expertise. The problem I'm having is leaving you here in two days."

"You're the one who wanted back on SG1," she pointed out.

SG1 had an off world meeting with the Tok'ra, scheduled in two days, to discuss the issue of the Lucian Alliance. Daniel was more than mildly annoyed by the Lucian Alliance. He didn't want to spend time dealing with them when the Ori were presenting so much greater a threat. If the Tok'ra were willing to take on the problem of the new alliance, Daniel was willing to listen to anything they might say. The Tok'ra, being who they were, wanted no less than SG1 at the meeting. Daniel had already suggested that things might go more smoothly without Jack's acerbic wit and general dislike of the Tok'ra. Mitchell's continuing wide-eyed amazement might serve them better.

Daniel only grunted in reply. Jillian waited but he said no more. "The time difference will be an issue."

The Gamma site was on a planet out of sync with Mountain Time. There was a ten hour difference. When Jillian was sleeping, Daniel would be awake.

"It won't matter to me. I'll go without sleep to get back as soon as I can, if I have to."

But he wouldn't wake her. That went unsaid. He wouldn't come back until it was daylight at the Gamma site.

"Try to spend some time with Cameron," Jillian urged.

Jillian was counting on Mitchell to keep Daniel's life as normal as possible. Cam was still new and still making friends and still trying to figure out if his social life under the mountain was going to be mostly the kind of military camaraderie he was used to or if he was going to make deeper connections. Jillian wanted Daniel to have the kind of bond he had with Jack, or if that wasn't possible, as close as he could get it. It was the kind of bond that kept SGC personnel alive.

"And do what?" Daniel asked, "I'm not exactly into bar crawling or card games."

"Play basketball with him," Jillian suggested. "You've done it before, and you're actually pretty good at it."

"So suddenly I'm an athlete?" he scoffed.

Quietly, Jillian said, "Yeah, you are. I think you've always been. It just wasn't where your heart was. But you work out in the gym and you ice skate like a hockey star. You can run backwards firing a P90. I have good reason to know how much strength and stamina you have…"

"Okay, okay!" he laughed. "I'll keep playing basketball with Mitchell. Happy?"

She smiled. "Yes. Just keep him from being lonely."

"Lonely? Mitchell?" Daniel asked. "He's always hanging out with someone, doing stuff."

She shook her head. "Something is going on with him. He rents our condo but he's hardly ever there. He's your teammate, Daniel. Like it or not you have the seniority, in age and experience. The guy was a 302 pilot in a Prometheus squadron. Do you think he knows anything about ground operations? Small unit tactics? You need to get to know him, and he needs you."

"How do you know he hardly ever goes to the condo?"

Instead of answering, Jillian said, "See? You don't even know that about him. I know you're pretty focused on what's going on with us, with the baby and everything. But I'm going to worry about you more if I think you're holding Mitchell at the same arm's length you keep most of the world. He calls you 'Jackson' because that's what you let him call him, and somehow I don't think you're ever going to let him call you anything else."

Daniel was impeccably polite to most people. There was a distance to him, an 'otherworldliness', a kind of abstraction, as though part of him would always live on some higher plane. She knew his thoughts were so deep they were baffling to ordinary humans, and most of the time he didn't even try to share them. He was friendly and people took him at face value or underestimated him. But they never got near him.

He didn't argue with her and Jillian knew he understood what she was saying.

"Jack dragged you out on training drills. It was his way of training you to work with him," she went on. "Play ball with Mitchell. Learn how he moves. Learn how he reacts. He's different since he came back from the Sodan. You'll need to know how to work with him. Mostly you're going to have to get him to quit hero-worshipping all of you and accept that you're not all living charmed lives. You're smart and well-trained and _just that good_ at what you do and Mitchell has to understand that. You can't fight the Ori by yourself, and I don't want you to try; but he needs to know how to help you."

Daniel slowed the jeep to an almost-crawl as they crossed a dry streambed. He turned and looked at her with a soft smile on his sweet, beloved face. She couldn't help but smile back.

"I won't," he said. "I mean, I won't try to fight the Ori by myself; not, I won't play basketball with Mitchell. I'll do that."

"Good," she said.

"And if it makes you feel better, Mitchell did get all the ground operations training every member of the SGC gets. He's also read every book that's ever been written about special ops _and_ every ground-based operational tactics and strategies manual as far as I know. Sam helped him download every military syllabus on the subject they could get access to; and a bunch they couldn't get access to, but that's between you and me."

"Okay," Jillian said. It did make her feel better; and she didn't want him to know how worried about it she was because then he would worry. But…"I know all that, Daniel. But you and Sam and Teal'c and Jack…you finish each other's sentences. At First Thursdays you steal food off each other's plates and know when to top off each other's drinks and when not to. It's so obvious that you've all learned how to anticipate each other's moves. When you all walk up the ramp to the Gate, Mitchell is still just a little out of step."

"Jillian," Daniel interrupted, and waited until he knew he had her attention. "_Jack_ sent him. Do you think I'd have agreed to be on the same team with him if that wasn't the case?"

"No," she agreed.

"Then how about we just worry about the time in front of us for right now?" He got the jeep to the other side of the stream bed and stopped it completely. Gesturing to their right he said, "Jill_, look_."

His voice had gone soft with awe and wonder. Jillian looked in the direction he was pointing and felt her breath catch in her chest.

"Oh my god," she whispered.

The ruins of ancient 'Babylon' rose up, covered in vines but shouting their former glory in the afternoon sunlight.

"Wait till you see it by moonlight," Daniel's voice was velvet in her ear, practically purring. He leaned across the space between them, careful of the gearshift. His fingers brushed her hair back and lightly stroked her neck. "How about if we forget about the SGC for a few days and go be archaeologists?"

Jillian wanted to look at him but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the incredible sight spread out before her.

"Yeah, let's do that," she said.

(0)


	236. Chapter 236

**Missing scenes from the Fourth Horseman, parts 1 and 2. **

**(0)**

Daniel had never liked the unscheduled off-world activation alert. It rarely signaled anything good. It drew him to the Control Room like a magnet every time anyway, especially when his wife was off world.

His suspicions were confirmed when the elevator doors opened and he found Mitchell hurrying down the hall to intercept him. Mitchell jerked a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the Stargate.

"Jackson," he said, "she said to tell you first off that she's fine, but your wife is on…on the, uh, Stargate."

"My wife? What's wrong? She supposed to be at the dig site and it's the middle of the night there."

"I just said she's fine, but I suspect someone may have told her about the outbreak."

Daniel said something under his breath in what sounded like Russian. Cam followed Daniel, double time, to the Control Room. Jillian was on the monitor, the reflection of the Gamma site Stargate shimmering on her face.

"Hey, Bǎobèi." Daniel's voice was gentle and strong, without even a whisper of the anxiety he must be feeling. "What's wrong? Why are you back at the Base?"

"I twisted my knee," she said.

"Mitchell said you said you were fine." Daniel threw a look at Cam that should have scorched him down to his shorts.

"I am!"

"You twisted your knee! Did you fall?"

"No, I got up out of a chair before I had my feet all the way under me and I twisted it. I'm…not balanced the way I am used to, and you can blame your son for that."

Daniel held back the wince he felt in his stomach. When JD was gently rolling and kicking and being adorable, he was _their_ son. When he was sitting on his mother's sciatic nerve or throwing her off balance, he was suddenly his father's son. Jillian had reached the point where she was still delighted to be pregnant but very often cranky at the physical limitations.

"Did you get x-rays? Ice it?"

"I iced it. It's _fine,_ Daniel. And my twisted knee is not as important as you being exposed to a deadly contagion! What is going _on_?" Her voice rose as she spoke, getting gradually more hysterical (which was not a word he normally associated with Jillian).

He didn't try to keep the wince out of his expression this time. She knew. She knew and it had thrown her on the knife's edge of panic. Daniel looked across light years and into the eyes of the woman who had lost him too many times.

"Pearson told you?"

"As soon as I got here. I think he was afraid I would want to go home through the Gate." It looked for a moment as if Jillian was fighting tears.

"Jill." He had nothing but his voice to soothe her. He ached with real pain to be able to touch her, pull her into his embrace and hold her so that she could feel his heart beating, could feel the flex of the muscles in his arms. His voice had to be like a warm balm, washing over her. It had to reach into her and touch her heart and soul. "This is the same plague we encountered before. I didn't get it then and I won't get it now. It's serious, but we're going to beat this the way we beat everything else. A lot of what we are doing is too classified to tell you this way. But you have to trust me."

They could have conversations that switched languages every other word, sometimes using words from cultures on other planets. If Daniel was refusing to tell her it had nothing to do with security. It was because he thought she was safer not knowing.

They could also speak just by making eye contact, even across light years.

"I trust you," she said softly.

"Then stay there, stay calm," Daniel said, almost crooning but keeping his voice steady. "Keep doing what you were doing. As soon as your knee feels better go back to the site."

It meant they wouldn't be able to talk as easily, and he could see the protest in her eyes, the panic just below the surface starting to rise again. "_Daniel."_

"We don't have any choice. But right now I am just grateful that's where you are. If you were here I would be losing my mind."

"That doesn't make me feel better about you being there," Jillian said.

"I didn't get it before. I have no symptoms. Neither does Sam. Teal'c is off world. SG8 is off world, and they're going to stay there."

"Where is Dad?"

"At his house. He was on his way there when it started and he's going to stay there." She was pale, eyes wide and Daniel could tell she was breathing slowly. "Jillian, I need you to stay calm and not panic. I will make sure your father has whatever he needs. I will fix this. Your job now is your health and the baby's. Do you understand? "

She nodded but he could tell she wasn't happy. He hated suddenly that she was alone. Yes, she had a lot of people from their department. Nyan was there with her. But it wasn't the people she truly loved, or the people he truly counted on to take care of her.

He was also asking her to trust that he could somehow stop a global pandemic. SG1 had pulled off larger miracles. If he had faith in them, then so could she.

But he felt utterly empty, the ache to hold her climbing up into his throat and making it hard to breathe. Separation from her was already difficult. This separation was to their love as wind was to fire. His need to protect her and his incredible, soul-searing love for her leapt up, enflamed.

"I love you," Daniel said.

"I love you, too," she answered. "Please be safe."

"I will. You too."

When the Stargate shut down Daniel felt as if someone had just snapped his heart in half. He stared at the blank monitor for a moment. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned.

He'd forgotten Mitchell was there. It pulled him back to the situation at hand.

"You didn't tell her about Orlin, how we have an Ancient helping us," Cam noted.

Daniel made a low, dismissive sound in his throat. "I don't mention the Ancients to my wife unless I absolutely have to. If she knew one was here she'd have a fit."

Cam absorbed that and filed it under '_things I'll get a better understanding of later'._ "Come on," he said, using the slightest pressure of his fingertips to pull Daniel around. "Let's go see how Sam is coming on that anti-Prior thing."

Daniel cast one more forlorn look at the monitor and then reluctantly followed Mitchell out of the Control Room.

(0)

**A/N: Until I actually tried to tag/missing scene this episode I really hadn't paid attention to how many plot holes this has. The continuity is really awful. People come and go much too easily from a place that is supposed to be quarantined; and where is Jack? (For my answer to that, see Moonlight and Steel). I wasn't sure what to do with Jillian for this story arc. Having her get sick seemed melodramatic and had no tension IMO. Everyone knows how the disease is cured. Having her not get sick was too convenient. Putting her off world creates, I hope, a different kind of tension.**

**I won't be spending a whole lot of time on these episodes. I know there is a lot of drama, but there is also so much just plain wrong with the writing that I was considering skipping it altogether.**


	237. Chapter 237

**This will continue the missing scenes from The Fourth Horseman. I wrote it with the sole purpose of explaining where the heck Jack is, because the absence of the Head of Homeworld Security during a clear 'homeworld' crisis is kind of glaring. This story arc still had multiple problems (Example: there's a global pandemic so let's gather the IOC members from all over the world and bring them to the site of the initial outbreak, which is supposedly quarantined, and expose them to Landry, who gets sick in the next act….sigh.) There will only be one more chapter, a tag to part two, to tie it up. But at least I know where Jack is; and we'll put just a little more stress on Sam, because she can handle it, and we'll remind Daniel just hwo awful it is for Jillian when he disappears. This a mirror chapter to Moonlight and Steel, chapter 78, which is from Sam's POV. This is the same moment from Daniel's.**

**(0)**

Daniel watched Jack deliberately not looking at Sam at all and understood that they were feeling the exact same thing he was; all the emotions that could possibly hit in a situation like this were coursing through both of them at the same time, along with all the secrets they couldn't tell. Their lives were literally worlds apart from the people they loved more than anyone else – separated by circumstances and the unbridgeable chasm of a deadly pandemic.

Jack's image was being broadcast to them over the transmitter on the F.R.E.D he had taken to load up with his son's belongings, with the intention of bringing him home.

Thankfully, Jett was not with him now.

Sam was sitting in the chair under the monitor, gazing up at him with the respectful and subordinate gaze she had perfected over nearly a decade. Jack was keeping his eyes firmly on Hank Landry, who was standing behind her, giving Jack a detailed report on the outbreak. Daniel was just off her right shoulder, his hand resting on the back of her chair. Sam was leaning back enough and Daniel let his fingers lift to rest on her shoulder, offering her what support he could.

When Landry finished speaking, Jack's eyes briefly slid to the side – as if he was filing the information, or placing it somewhere so that he could think about it while doing other things. He was shockingly good at multitasking, even though he would deny it.

"So what you're saying," he drawled slowly, the words coming out on a long-held exhalation, "is that this isn't the best time to be coming back to Earth?"

"What I'm saying," Landry stated, "is that I can't even let you come back. The place is quarantined. I know as Head of Homeworld Security you outrank me, Jack, but the Stargate is closed."

Jack didn't appear the least ruffled. "No. No, that's the call you had to make. The same one I would make. Nothin' we can do about it. It's not like I haven't been stuck here before."

Daniel felt an irrational flash of anger as Sam tensed under his fingers. _Can we __**not**__ bring that up again? Sam is kind of stressed enough._

There were times Daniel wanted to throttle Jack O'Neill. He knew that Sam and Jack had hashed out the whole Edora fiasco, and they had a wonderful little boy that she had come to love as if he were her own. In some ways it was a love that humbled Daniel because Sam had chosen to give it. She could have seen Jett forever as the reminder of a difficult time. Instead she saw only Jett and adored him.

And Jack would never, _never, _do that to her again. Not now when they were together, _finally._ He wasn't the kind of man who would risk losing everything a second time. Of that Daniel had no doubt.

Landry was speaking again and it caught her attention. "We've got Daedalus only two days out from making Earth orbit. We can send Prometheus to get you in the meantime. At least you'd be able to run things from orbit."

Sam sat up straighter and Daniel could feel the hope that went coursing through her. He had been with his team too long and he had always been good at reading their feelings, especially Sam's. Daniel's hand moved from the chair to her shoulder, gripping a little. He knew she wanted them to come home. He wanted not so much for Jillian to come home but for him to be able to go to her. All he wanted was to walk through the Stargate and hold his pregnant wife. He'd been able to walk through the 'Gate without restriction and now he couldn't. It was maddening. He wanted his family and Sam wanted hers.

Jack's eyes strayed from direct contact again and Daniel didn't need to wonder if he was having the same thought. He _knew_ he was.

"No," Jack said, finally and didn't sound happy about it at all. "You need the Prometheus for defense and by the time it gets here and gets back, you'll have this thing beat."

"You sound certain of that," Hank said and Daniel felt Sam slump slightly. He squeezed her shoulder again. _I'm here. We're together. I understand._

Daniel spoke up for the first time then. "Are you sure? Jett would go crazy over being on the Prometheus."

Jack rolled his eyes and looked impatient. "The Prometheus doesn't exist so I can take my son for a joy ride, Daniel. He's just going to have to wait for his first starship cruise."

Daniel glared at him, as only he had ever felt free to do.

But Jack was looking at Sam – making eye contact with her for the first time since the transmission between his world and hers had started – and Daniel could feel the change in her. Something about finally having Jack truly look at her had flipped a switch. She no longer felt so defeated.

"How close are you to making this anti-Prior thing work, Carter?"

Landry hadn't mentioned anything about that, which meant Jack had read her report.

"Close, sir," she said, voice steady as a rock.

There was silence after that, a heavy silence in which they struggled not to make constant eye contact.

"Well," Jack said laconically, "if anyone can build the thing, you can."

"I'll do my best," she said.

"We'll get you home, Jack," Daniel said. "Both of you."

"Don't doubt that at all," Jack said, and in spite of the typical gruff and short manner in which he spoke, Daniel knew that he was just as frustrated, just as _scared_ as they were. "Take care of yourselves," Jack said, and though he made it plural he was looking only at Sam.

The Stargate snapped shut with a sound like finality. Sam stood up, and Daniel stood close to her, as if he expected the stress and lack of sleep to finally catch up with her. He was on his feet because of his own damned determination to be.

He wasn't sure what was keeping her upright at all.

Daniel made all the right conversation with Landry, about continuing their research and then he guided her down the stairs and into the corridor. They walked side by side to the elevator and rode in silence to the floor with her lab. They were almost there when Daniel suddenly took her elbow and pulled her into a storage closet. He wasn't sure but he thought it might be the same closet he had hidden in after becoming addicted to a sarcophagus. He had almost shot Jack in here.

The place had seen a whole lot of SG1 drama, but it was out of the prying eyes of security cameras.

"Daniel! What the hell?" She was stunned, staring at him as he shut the door.

He turned from closing the door and let her see all the misery in his soul, reflected in his eyes.

Her tears started before he was ready for them. He had thought it would take time. He had thought he would have to coax her into laying down the burdens she had placed on herself. He reached for her and pulled her into his arms and was immensely grateful to feel her collapse against him.

"I'm sorry," she said and then repeated it. "I'm sorry. I'm not sad. I'm not."

"'Sokay," Daniel said. "You cry for the same reason Jillian does – you're frustrated. You cry because it keeps you from throwing things, or screaming. You don't cry because you're weak. You cry because you've been strong for too long."

In spite of still being wracked by sobs, a short laugh burst from her. He had taken her somewhere away from prying eyes so that she could vent her frustration in tears instead of violence. He must have known that saying goodbye to Jack was going to be hard on a decent day. Right now, faced with war against so powerful a foe as the Ori, and standing on the edge of exhaustion she had needed it.

Daniel knew her too well and for the moment that was wonderful.

But Daniel often cried for the same reason. He took off his glasses and wiped an arm across his eyes. He had intended to be there for her; not break down himself. But, _god_, it was hard. He had spent only a few days with his wife and it had been horrible, not being able to touch Jillian, to talk to her. He had reached for his phone a dozen times an hour to tell her something. How had she ever endured his death? He was going mad from her absence. His heart was chafed by wanting her.

After a moment Sam's sobs subsided and he leaned back to look down at her with all the conviction he could manage.

"We're going to fix this," he said.

Sam nodded, and he knew she believed him. They would fight their way through fire and damnation to fix it.

He smiled a little, the lines beside his eyes crinkling a bit as he put his glasses back on. He slung an arm around her shoulders.

"Come on," he said, reaching for the door. "Let's go kick some Ori ass."

"You got a deal," Sam said.

(0)


	238. Chapter 238

**This is a tag to the Fourth Horseman, after the credits roll on part 2. Something light and romantic. Fluffy. With cuddling.**

**(0)**

He walked with as much dignity as possible down the corridor of the Gamma site, in the direction of the small room they had designated for archaeological studies. He was in a state of suspended euphoria. He had thought there would be the excruciating agony of a jeep ride the dig site at the ruins. But she was here. _Here._ He was breathing the same air again. He could walk – _walk_ – and get to her.

Then he was in the hallway that led to that door, the one to the room she was in. Something must have given him away because as he entered the room she was already standing up, turning as she did and with an expression of such stunned disbelief he felt compelled to say her name, out loud, to let her know he was real.

"_Jillian."_

She gasped, drew another breath and got only the first syllable of his name out before he had crossed the room and taken her into his arms.

"Dan-"

He closed his eyes and thought that there was nothing like embracing her after an absence, nothing like burying his face in her hair and inhaling the sweet, sacred scent of her; feeling her warmth and how blessedly awkward it was to try to hold her now with their baby in the way and neither of them quite sure how to handle that. She wound up with her lower body turned sideways while her shoulders pressed forward against him as if she wanted to be absorbed by him.

Daniel tipped her face up and kissed her. As always, the world seemed to stop moving or maybe the world just became nothing but the two of them, only them. Kissing her was just as he remembered it, full of that passion and need, devotion and utter unconditional love. He had never had any doubts about his relationship with Jillian. As she reached up and wound her arms around his neck, he had none now.

Nothing mattered at the moment but _them._ Another battle won, another threat vanquished. It seemed to Daniel that as long as he had Jillian, there was no challenge too great, nothing they couldn't overcome.

He didn't know how long they stood there, just kissing. The world stood still. Time had stopped. He was awash in the feel of her body against his, and in the feeling of their son – perhaps stirred by his mother's sudden movements – kicking strongly under his palm.

That was all that mattered to Daniel, and nothing else.

Jillian broke away, breathless.

"Are you okay?" They spoke in unison, then laughed, hugged and touched lips again.

"I'm fine," Jillian said. "We're both fine. Is it over? The plague?"

"Yes. I wouldn't be here if there was any doubt."

"What happened?"

"_That_ is a very long story and the answer wound up being Teal'c – who settled a major Jaffa dispute with words."

Jillian looked impressed. "Words?"

"Our little Jaffa is growing up," Daniel joked. "He's become quite the diplomat. I'm proud of him. Who knows what Jack thinks, but I'm proud of him."

She sagged a little and rested her forehead on his chest. Her hands twisted into his jacket and held on tightly. Daniel kissed the top of her head and began to lean a little heavily. The last few days were catching up with him.

"I didn't hear an unscheduled activation alert," she said. "You surprised me."

"There wasn't one. It was scheduled. We're sending home all the teams that were diverted here too."

"You're staying?"

"Of course I am. I am going to be stuck to you like a shadow. I never want to leave you again. I don't even know _how_ to leave you right now."

"The baby is due in eight weeks," she reminded him, unnecessarily. "You really think you can stay put for eight weeks?"

"Well, we're only staying here for another three. Then there is the trip back to Earth; and then my darling wife, I intend to glue myself to your side until we both get to hold our son."

"You mean that?"

Daniel put his arms around her and laced his fingers together, holding her in the protective circle. "I do," he said.

She smiled and kissed him gently. "For better or for worse? Richer or poorer?" she teased.

"That, all that and more. Forever."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"I want you to."

She leaned into him again. "I have so much to show you, Daniel," she said. "This site is incredible."

Daniel rested his head on the top of hersand realized that he was suddenly exhausted. For days, fighting a plague and preparing to go up against a Prior of the Ori, sleep had been a luxury he hadn't thought he could afford. Now, with relief flowing over him like a spring rain, he felt his body sinking into hers.

"Have you slept?" she asked.

"Not much," he admitted, because he couldn't lie to her and she knew anyway.

"We can't sleep here," she said.

Daniel's eyes were already closed. "Can," he murmured, rubbing his cheek on her hair.

"No, _leannan,_" she said, pushing him up onto his feet. "You are much too big for me to hold up. I have a nice little room down the hall, with a full-size bed and decent sheets. We can lie down and cuddle."

His eyes opened. "Cuddle?"

"We'll have to, Jackson," she said, smiling a little, "I'm eight weeks from giving birth and you're six feet tall and two hundred pounds. It's only a full-size mattress. Your feet are going to hang off the edge."

"I'll take my chances," he answered.

She moved around and let him put his arm around her shoulders. It was a small, gray room, sunless and soulless. But it had a bed. Daniel stripped down to boxers and crawled into it gratefully. A moment later she joined him, wearing panties and an oversized t-shirt. Daniel pressed his back against the wall and let her curl up in the shell formed by his body. She sighed in contentment.

"What time is it here?" he asked, suddenly.

"Doesn't matter," she answered, "I didn't sleep well without you. This is heaven. Go to sleep. I love you."

Daniel snuggled down, cuddled and sighed. "That's good, _mon petite amie_, because I love you too."

Jillian smiled and laced her fingers with his. "_Bonne nuit, mon ami_."

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	239. Chapter 239

**Missing scenes from Collateral Damage. This will also bring Sunshine and Shadow and Fortunate Son together and keep them in line with Moonlight and Steel. Collateral Damage is heavy on Cameron Mitchell drama so Daniel and Jillian will stay sort of 'light and fluffy' for a little bit.**

**(0)**

"So what happened to being glued to my side until the baby is born?" Jillian demanded.

Daniel took a very long breath and look it out. She was angry. She was five weeks away from having their child and she was cranky, sore, still frustrated by having to leave the dig at the Gamma site. She hated being confined to the SGC and wanted to go home. He wanted her to stay at the Base until he returned.

SG1 was assigned to a diplomatic mission with the Galarans. It should be easy and only take a few hours of his time. But Jillian was holding his feet to the fire about the promise he had made not to leave her.

"SG1 isn't on stand down, Jill. Landry has cut back on our assignments considerably, with Teal'c dividing his time between us and the Jaffa nation; and Sam working on more anti-Prior technology."

"And you stuck here with me," she snapped.

Even pregnant she could only push him so far. Daniel's eyes narrowed to slits. His back got stiff and straight and his shoulders squared.

"Jillian," he said, warningly.

Her answer was to turn her back to him and cross her arms. She was shaking. Daniel relented. He walked up behind her in a slow deliberate swagger. She had her hair swept up in a saucy ponytail, revealing the nape of her lovely neck – a part of her that never failed to intrigue him. She didn't move but she let him press up against the back of her and brush his lips against her skin. His hands moved down her arms, feeling the still-defined muscles under the feminine curve and then went under her shirt, touching the smooth, tight skin over her stomach.

"I," he said, and kissed her neck again, "am _not_ stuck here with …(_kiss)_…you. I wouldn't go if I didn't think it was important."

"You think this technology will help in the fight against the Ori?" She was still standing straight as a board and trembling a little.

"Between you and me and _no one_ else? This technology scares the crap out of me. I think we should proceed very cautiously."

"That's why you want to go?"

"I don't _want_ to go. I don't want to leave you even for a few minutes.

"That's why you feel you need to go then?"

"Yes," he said.

Some of the tension ran out of her, but it felt more like defeat to him than surrender. Their son chose that moment to shift and stretch and kick rather vigorously. Jillian sucked in a sharp breath but then laughed. "He doesn't like it when I'm angry with you," she said.

"I don't either," Daniel said.

"I'm sorry, Daniel," she said.

"No you have a point."

"I'm so …ready for this to be over, I guess. As much as I wanted it, I….." Her words trailed off helplessly and she shrugged.

Daniel kissed her again. "You want to hold him, in your arms for a change. You want to rock him and read to him and sing to him. You want to see what he looks like."

"I want him to look like you; and you're right I want to hold him and sing to him and all of that."

"I do too," then he turned her around, gently, "Well, maybe not the singing part, but the reading and the holding and the rocking."

"You're not scared?"

"I'm terrified. But Jack let us practice on Jett for the last five years so I think it will be okay."

She looked up at him, through her lashes.

"You won't be long?"

"It's a tour to see a demonstration of this technology – for which Mitchell has volunteered, _not_ me – and then a meet and greet cocktail party kind of thing. Then I come home. It's not a big deal. You could nap through it."

"I'm tired of napping," Jillian said, with a trace of the earlier grumpiness returning.

"All right then don't nap. You can read or whatever you want."

"I want to go home. I want to fuss around the nursery and make everything perfect and if you say a single word in _any _language about 'nesting' I will slap you."

Daniel held up his hands in the symbol of surrender. "Never crossed my mind!"

"Of course it didn't," Jillian said, shaking her head. "But it just seems like we don't ever get a chance to get ready for this."

"We ordered the new SUV," Daniel pointed out. He had bought her a brand new Lincoln Navigator for her birthday, mostly because of its safety rating. She had warned him she wouldn't give up her truck and he had laughed and said of course not. What would they go biking and camping in? But neither of their vehicles was good for hauling around car seats and he wanted them to be as safe as possible.

"Yes, and it's gorgeous and I love it and now you're making me feel like I'm being a total bitch to you for having to go do your job."

"I'm sorry," He kissed the tip of her nose. "Do you forgive me?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"None."

"You'll come right back?"

"Instantly."

"You'll take me home?"

"We'll stop at Toys R' Us on the way and you can get whatever you want to make the nursery perfect."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

(0)

Daniel arrived in the Gate room fastening his watch around his wrist and looking annoyed. The third chevron was already locked. Mitchell shot him a look, the way Jack had once done. But Jack had always looked like a frustrated father whose rebellious son had just rolled into the driveway at thirty seconds past curfew. Mitchell looked worried. He sidled closer to Daniel and asked, "Everything okay?"

"Fine," Daniel answered shortly, eyes on the spinning chevrons.

"She still pissed?"

"She's less than pleased, let's say. But she understands."

"You sure?

"It's my job, Mitchell. Yes, she understands." Daniel put enough frost in his voice to let Mitchell know that when it came to his wife, Daniel didn't appreciate too much scrutiny. Jillian wasn't the only one who was cranky and anxious at the moment. He didn't like being torn between his work and his wife. "Let's just try to keep this short and sweet. All right?"

Mitchell's eyes roamed up and down for a moment. "Another reminder to the new guy to watch what he touches?"

Daniel didn't answer right away. He was aware of Sam watching them closely out of the corner of her eye. She and Mitchell were close, having been friends for years. He didn't know their entire history, but he knew she didn't like it when there was friction between Mitchell and him.

Daniel snorted. "Jack told me that for years; and I didn't always listen."

Under her breath Sam said, "You didn't ever listen. You just got better at recognizing danger."

"Something like that," Daniel agreed.

The seventh chevron locked, the wave erupted, coalesced and settled into the familiar rippling puddle. The newest incarnation of SG1 strode up the ramp with Mitchell still just slightly out of lock step.

But he was getting there.

(0)


	240. Chapter 240

**Another missing scene from Collateral Damage. This episode is very-Cam-centric, but Sunshine and Shadow is not, so this is about Daniel.**

**(0)**

Sam was gazing at the samplings on the food table when Mitchell sidled up to her and leaned over to whisper, "What's up with Jackson?"

Sam smiled a little to herself. She knew that Daniel had offered Mitchell the same thing he offered almost everyone – "Call me Daniel." It had been said to Sam with a small smile, like he was offering her the only meager gift he had to give. He had underplayed his own value in those days; or perhaps had just never believed in it. It had never been important to him. It still wasn't unless there was something he wanted.

But Mitchell had felt the hesitation, the request for emotional distance; and he had started calling Daniel 'Jackson' instead. Sam kind of liked it.

Sam glanced across the pool at Daniel. He was standing with the Emissary and listening carefully. She had seen him do it a thousand times – listen, absorb, process and find the language and meaning beneath the words. She knew this Daniel the way she knew all the many incarnations of the man. This was the one who wasn't afraid to tell false gods and insincere politician just how full of it they really were – surely the galaxy's most tactless diplomat at times. His head was lowered, chin tucked, eyes looking slightly over the top of his glasses. It wasn't his blatantly arrogant look. That one still seemed reserved for genuine arguments with General O'Neill.

"He's just doing what he always does," Sam said, confused. "What do you mean?"

"He's been a bit… chilly," Mitchell answered, "Not just quiet but closed off."

"He's going to be a father in a few short weeks. Do you think he really wants to be here drinking and making small talk?"

Cam seemed to considered that. "No. I guess not." Sam knew that Cam forgot, still, that all of this was commonplace to Sam and to Daniel. But cocktail parties on another planet were still high on his list of things that made him go 'wow.' "Should I have suggested that he stay home? I knew Jillian was pissed."

"No. He would have just gotten mad at you. _My_ instincts tell me that Daniel's instincts are warning him about something."

"Like what?" Cam asked, sharply and Sam was pleased by the way his body went on the alert. Yeah, he'd read the mission reports but he seemed to also know when to trust his new team.

"I don't know, but I can tell by watching him. Daniel has a photographic memory, Cam. In fact it's not just photographic, it's also auditory. Give him the right cue and he can play back almost anything verbatim. He relies on that memory more than most people. Your memory is sharp and I know it. But it's not like Daniel's. I suspect he doesn't like the idea that anything in his head wouldn't be one of his actual experiences." Sam also wondered if Daniel wasn't much too curious – and alarmed - about something that let him absorb knowledge in the blink of an eye. Sam wondered if, in his head, Daniel was watching Moscow burning again.

Sam hadn't taken her eyes off Daniel the entire time she was speaking. He was searching for answers, running through hypothesis with the speed of thought and discarding them just as quickly. There was no such thing as linear thinking to Daniel. The inside of his head was a complex matrix were everything eventually connected. He had that calm set to his mouth and jaw that told her Daniel was willing to listen and theorize as long as it would take to make up his mind about all this. He had his cool, blue gaze fastened on the Emissary so intently she thought it might just stay lodged there in some way forever.

Sam wondered if Cam saw Daniel and knew what he was doing and decided he didn't. He couldn't know everything about them just because it seemed like it was all down in writing. Cam probably knew her well enough that it wouldn't surprise him that she looked at this technology the way she looked at all technology – with an eye to backwards engineering it, to determine what it was and how it was made and what else, if anything, could be made from it. Daniel looked at this technology and began backwards engineering it to the people who made it – who were they and what had they wanted, why was it still being made and how could it be useful; and was it potentially dangerous in the wrong hands? He already knew the technology had started with the Goa'uld. In Daniel's mind it was already suspect. Now he was trying to zero in on the truth of the culture that wanted to adapt it.

"So he's having typical off-world trust issues?" Cam asked.

"Those aren't typical," Sam said, "Daniel will often trust a complete stranger before he trusts a friend. But this is pinging something on his radar."

Cam didn't know why they had let Shifu go without a word of protest. Most people didn't. Daniel had told four people in the world about his vision – his team and his wife.

"So what do I do?" Cam wondered out loud.

Sam shrugged. "Take the path of least resistance. Let him work and hope you can keep up with him."

Cam nodded but then Sam noted with some amusement that his eyes wandered to a recent arrival at the party – Dr. Reya Varrick. He stared for a moment, following her around the room without moving a single muscle. When it came to covert surveillance, Cam wasn't all that bad.

"Why don't you go talk to her?" Sam suggested.

Cam glanced at her. "Yeah?"

"Sure," she said, but as Mitchell began to saunter away she called, "Cameron?"

"Yeah?"

"If she offers you cake, don't eat it."

Cameron looked blank for a moment but Sam could see the way his eyes were moving back and forth in a way oddly reminiscent of Daniel when he was searching for a memory. Sam knew Cam was trying to find what she was referencing and she also knew that he would.

"Argos, 1997," he said, with a smug grin, like he had aced a pop quiz; "and don't worry, I won't."

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	241. Chapter 241

Mitchell had become kind of fond of the room the Jacksons had put downstairs, under their deck on what had once been just a concrete patio. They'd installed a fireplace, insulated glass and a heated hardwood floor to make it useable all year round. For some reason it had become the default gathering place for the new SG1. In the wake of an off-world mission that had almost gone horribly wrong and forced Cam back into memories he would just as soon had stayed buried, it seemed inevitable that they would wind up there. Cam was grateful to Daniel for it. The Jacksons' house had become their new gathering place. The desert-inspired room downstairs their new sanctuary. The room fairly shouted 'Daniel' and for some reason that was comforting. It was like being invited into someplace where he would always be safe. The team had stepped up for Cam, refused to let him live with memories not his own. Sam's loyalty Cam didn't question. Teal'c would also give Cam the loyalty due to him as a member of a military unit. Daniel was the wild card and always would be.

They had a fire going and the drapes pulled back to reveal the night-black glass. Beyond that they could see the snowstorm that had started a few hours earlier painting the landscape white. Daniel had already insisted they were all staying at least for the night, until the roads were plowed in the morning. They were drinking Jillian's hot chocolate recipe, which was made with heavy cream, a dash of vanilla and just enough amaretto to make it a little nutty-tasting. It was perfect – soul-soothing and warm.

They had been silent for a while, sprawled in comfortable chairs in a semi-circle around the fire. Daniel was sitting with his chair touching Jillian's but everyone else was maintaining a close but comfortable distance.

After a moment, Sam nudged Cam's foot with hers and said, "Are you okay? Really?"

Cam shifted, aware that every eye in the room was on him but not freaked out by it. "Yeah," he said. "I'm okay."

"Well, you're not allowed to do that anymore – get into trouble off world."

Cam laughed softly and took a sip from his mug, which almost spilled when Sam kicked him a little harder. "Hey!" he said.

"I mean it and you're going to take this seriously, dammit," Sam said.

"I know, I know," Cam said, looking down to make sure he didn't have chocolate anywhere on his Air Force sweatshirt. Satisfied he was still pristine, he sat back again. "General O'Neill said the same thing on the phone. So did Jackson right after I got here. Teal'c hasn't said anything unless you count a scowl followed by the eyebrow thing. But I got the message."

"Good," Sam said.

They fell into silence again briefly. But Daniel's eyes were still on Cam, hidden in shadow but Cam could feel the weight of that stare. He finally looked back, squarely.

"What?"

"Something else is bugging you," Daniel said with certainty, "and it has been for a while."

"Oh really?" Cam hedged. He wasn't sure that he wanted more soul searching, more picking at the scabs around his heart.

"Cam." That was Sam, with her irritating way of knowing him too well even though they hadn't worked together in years.

Cam stubbornly kept silent but he was about to run straight into Daniel Jackson's inability to keep things swept under the rug. It was probably the single greatest thing that had held this team together.

"It's Vala, isn't it?" Daniel asked, quietly.

"It's okay, Cam," Sam said, quickly. "You spent more time with her than any of us, even Daniel."

"That was my fault," Daniel admitted. "I asked you to keep her as far away from me as possible."

Cam leaned forward, rested his elbows on his knees and cupped the mug between his hands. "She wasn't really one of us," he said, slowly, "not like a member of the team. She was…different, difficult, and I know she was trouble. I know she was only there because we were worried about Jackson. But she sacrificed herself so one of us didn't have to. That has to mean something."

"It does," Teal'c said suddenly.

"She should have told us," Daniel said, anger threading his voice. "She had no business going off by herself to do that."

Jillian spoke up then. "You mean if you had thought of it, you wouldn't have just done it without another thought, without telling anyone? When did consequences start mattering to you?"

Cam heard the snap in her voice and knew she was talking to the man who had run off to save a woman from throwing herself off a cliff and then gotten himself seriously sarcophagus-addicted; the man who had shot out a window and dove into lethal radiation to save a planet; the man who had challenged and faced off against a killing machine that had looked like Sam but was made of Replicator parts, only to die again and face off, alone, against Anubis.

Daniel turned to look at her. "They always matter, Jill, just sometimes not as much as the outcome. I'm not a great pilot but if she'd had someone standing by on the rings-"

"We'd be missing two people instead of one," Cam interrupted.

His pronouncement brought another brief and brittle silence broken when Jillian said, "I agree."

Daniel inhaled as if he was going to keep arguing but Jillian said, "Daniel," in a way that clearly held more meaning for the two of them than for the other occupants of the room. He exhaled as if he was admitting defeat.

"Do you think," Mitchell asked softly, "that it's stupid to hope she's really only missing?"

"Sometimes all we have is hope," Daniel said bitterly. "I had it for years."

Cam knew he was thinking about Sha're and that hadn't worked out at all as Daniel had hoped; and maybe Cam couldn't dream about a different result in the case of Vala just because he wanted one. Jackson had at least known about where to start looking for Sha're. Mitchell had no clue where to begin to get to Vala.

"Cam," Samantha said, "I'm sorry about Vala. I know you seemed to make a connection with her. We all knew it." There was a chorus of affirmative nods and murmurs of agreement. "Just because one time it doesn't work out the way we want, doesn't mean the next time won't."

"Statistics as a means to viewing the world more optimistically?" Daniel asked.

Sam shrugged and smiled. Daniel continued, "Vala is a survivor. That's what she does. We'll see her again, and probably in a way that we least expect it."

"Look, Cam, "Sam said, leaning towards him, "I get it. I do. You read all the mission reports and I bet what you ran into more than once was the mantra that we don't leave anyone behind, and it's true. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, it's true. But there are the rare times when we can't…"

Without mercy, Daniel said, "You're thinking about Joe Faxon."

Sam inhaled sharply, threw an angry glance at him and then subsided. Jackson, Cam knew, was a force to be reckoned with. "Yes," she admitted. "I just don't want Vala to become Joe."

"She won't," Daniel said.

"She already has. No one is even talking about going to find her. Just like no one ever gave a serious thought to rescuing Joe. He was just expendable."

It was true. Not even the formidable team of Jackson and O'Neill had been able to convince Washington to give a go at a rescue mission. Joe Faxon topped the list of all their regrets, especially Sam's. Like Vala, Joe had not been one of their own—but he became one when he sacrificed himself for Sam, and for everyone else on this planet.

"Sam," Daniel said gently, "we've talked about this. Every logical scenario says he's fine."

Sam shook her head, annoyed. "That's the word you use when you mean 'not dead or dying right this second.'"

Daniel met her frustrated gaze with an easy shrug, as if it was obvious. "I'm a cultural anthropologist," he said. "It didn't take much for me to get a handle on the Aschen. They take passive-aggression to a new level. Their idea of waging war is to start a slow-growing plague and wait patiently as it sterilizes a population."

"We sent them a Gate address attached to a black hole, Daniel!"

"And I'm sure they figured out how to disconnect. They're smart and they have a huge interest in self-preservation. I'm sure they were plenty pissed after we tricked them into revealing the truth about their plans for us, and left them with addresses to places that seriously sucked. But you heard them. By their own admission they aren't explorers and that was one thing they said that I believe. Jack said they'd make the perfect insurance salesmen, and he was right—they'll assess risk and take the overly safe route every time."

Cam almost smiled, because SG1 had so often assessed risks and taken exactly the opposite route. But Sam wasn't done arguing with Daniel, and Cam was finding the back and forth fascinating.

"Daniel," she said demandingly, "how do you get from a whole culture of insurance salesmen to Joe being 'fine'?"

Daniel answered the way Cam had suspected he was going to - with another question. "The Aschen know how to turn planets into suns but they can't experiment with Gate addresses and account for interstellar drift?"

"They had no reference points," Sam countered.

"Wouldn't matter if they did," Daniel said emphatically, "What they lack as a people is intellectual curiosity. Now look at the implications of that. They're an advanced culture, but so insular and arrogant that they are stagnating. They wanted us to just hand them Gate addresses, because they're too damn lazy to do the math and look themselves. They'd rather show up, wipe out an entire culture and way of life to create farmland because they can't bother with the effort of treaties and the concept of honest trade."

Jillian shifted in her chair and winced a little bit. Daniel stood, went to a large woven trunk and opened it. Rummaging around, he got a specific pillow out, took it to Jillian and arranged it behind her back. "All that means," Jackson continued speaking without missing so much as a beat, even when he paused to kiss the top of his wife's head before sitting down again, "is that they won't bother with executing someone just because he screwed up their plans. In fact, my bet is, when they got tired of interrogating Joe, and figured out he really didn't know anything, they left him with the farmers. After all, what can he do there—start a revolution? The people we met weren't sufficiently enraged to get that. Now maybe he could get them riled up enough with the truth, but I still don't think Joe was anywhere near enough of a threat to be bothered with, and he's smart too. He's probably kept his head down."

Sam pondered that for a while, then said, "I hope you're right. But we'll never know. Even with the General as head of Homeworld Security they won't consider sending a ship to check on him."

"Perhaps, we no longer need anyone in Washington to approve a rescue mission, Samantha Carter." Teal'c said in a soft, deep roll of thunder.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"The Jaffa are now in possession of many ships capable of interstellar flight."

Sam sat up straighter. "Really?"

"Yes, but you know that already," Teal'c said.

"No, I meant – really, you would do that?"

"The fate of Ambassador Faxon has long concerned you. I am now in a position to set your mind at ease."

Sam stared at him. "Teal'c, I…I don't know what to say."

"Thank you is always good," Daniel suggested.

Sam snorted at him. "Yes, Daniel. I know. Thank you, Teal'c."

The Jaffa inclined his head graciously. "I will return as soon as possible and procure a ship. Would you care to accompany me?"

It was Daniel who snorted this time. "Try to stop her."

Cam spoke up. "I'd like in on that, too. If you don't mind."

"That would be acceptable, Cameron Mitchell," Teal's replied.

They subsided into silence once more. Daniel got up and refreshed everyone's hot chocolate at the 'outdoor' kitchen and then sat down too close to his wife again. She smiled at him and Mitchell sensed that all was forgiven between them – because that was what they did.

Cam felt an unreasonable sense of peace settle over him. This was SG1. This is what it was supposed to be like – having each other's backs, stepping up, pushing boundaries when needed, waiting however long it took to fix things. They had rallied around him in a very dark hour, passed no judgments, laid no recriminations on him.

There was peace in knowing that some friendships stretched beyond all boundaries. Whatever came next he wouldn't be facing it alone.

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	242. Chapter 242

**Some fluff for a Sunday afternoon. Team-y gooeyness with no plot ahead….**

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Sam had lost track of how many times Jillian's baby shower had been canceled. There had been countless times that she hadn't been able to leave Groom Lake; and a host of times that either Daniel was attached to Vala, or Daniel was missing or the Base was locked down, or Mitchell was missing or Baal was back on Earth. Now Sam was frantically trying to get this done before embarking on a rescue mission. Sam felt like they had barely squeaked in under the wire with Jonathan Daniel Jackson set to arrive on the planet in less than a month.

She knew Jillian had been getting impatient with Daniel's reluctance to buy anything, but Daniel had been in on the surprise from the beginning. They had pulled it off when Daniel had promised Jillian a major shopping trip that afternoon. They just had to stop at Sam's house to drop off a house-warming gift. Jillian had been so focused on finally getting out to buy things that she had been utterly taken off guard. It seemed half the women on the Base were also there, as well as Liz Mallory and Nancy Davidson. Sam had even managed to fly in Jillian's Aunt Jen and her cousin Cheryl for the weekend.

The day was edging into dusk when Jillian went to Sam in the kitchen and said, "This has been amazing, but I'm kind of tired. Do you mind if I call Daniel to come get me?"

"Not at all," Sam said. "But I think you might need more than Daniel. There are some huge things in there that you need to take home!"

Jillian smiled. Her friends and family had gone slightly overboard but now her son lacked for nothing. She got out her cell phone and hit one on the speed dial. Daniel answered instantly.

"_Hi_," he said.

"You ready to come get me?" She asked.

"_I've been ready since I dropped you off_."

"We're going to need the truck and probably the Navigator too. Teal'c's SUV would be good and see if you can get Mal on the phone to bring his truck."

"_That much stuff, huh_?"

"Our friends went a little nuts."

From across the kitchen Sam said, loudly enough for Daniel to hear her. "Hey! It's a very special baby and I know you won't argue with that."

Daniel did hear her and he laughed a little. "_Tell her no, I won't argue_."

Jillian smiled at Sam. "He says, no he won't argue."

"_We'll be there in a little bit_. _I'll have Mitchell drive the Navigator."_

"Our brand new car? You'll give him a heart attack."

"_He can fly a 302, Jill. He can handle a Lincoln_."

"He crashed his 302, didn't he?"

"_We're not taking the Lincoln into combat. I'll see you soon."_

"Love you."

"_Love you, too."_

The trucks and SUVs were pulling up in front of Sam's house a half an hour later and the men came piling in the front door to start loading things. Daniel was stunned by the amount of stuff – and by how much of it was labeled 'Some Assembly Required'.

"So," he said, looking around at the guys, "You're all invited to the house tomorrow. Bring your tools."

Scotty pumped his fist in the air as he grabbed Annie for a quick kiss. "Whoo-hoo! Furniture and toy building party at the Jacksons'. I'll bring the pizza."

Annie laughed at him and called Scotty a loon while Mal loudly proclaimed, "Boo-YAH. I'll bring the beer."

Jillian stared at Daniel and said, "There's a party at our house tomorrow."

"I know. I just invited everyone," Daniel nodded. "You don't think _I _can build all that?"

"It all comes with instructions, Dr. Jackson," Scotty pointed out, "We all know you can read."

"Oh I can read. I just resist reading things that say 'Insert screw C into hole D to join together A and B'."

"Remember when we got that bookshelf for Kyle's room?" Nancy Davidson asked Rusty. "I thought our relationship of fifteen years was going to end before it was built."

Rusty was already lifting the box that held a high chair. He snorted and shook his head in bewilderment at the memory. "It looked like drunken monkeys had built the thing. I'll come and help pass out tools, Jillian."

"Then there were the instructions for the coffee table I bought Annie," Scotty said. He had responded to Mitchell's signal to come help him pick up a huge box with a really nice high chair pictured on the front – one that couldn't possibly fit in a box that thin unless it was in a hundred pieces. "We had to call Daniel to come read the Chinese because the English was incomprehensible."

"Wasn't that," Annie asked, "the one that said, 'When the unit not work, press "C" and hold on until you hear. You should lose your hands after you hear each sound'?"

"No, that was your smoke alarm," Daniel answered, picking up a box with a blue car seat on the front.

"I'm still afraid to test the damn thing," Scotty said. "I'd kind of like to keep my hands."

Scotty and Mitchell followed Teal'c out the door. Teal's was carrying the box with the crib in it – by himself.

Amidst the laughter and good natured ribbing, all of the things for the new baby made their way out to the waiting vehicles. Then it was time to say goodbye. Jillian promised to see her Aunt Jen and her cousin Cheryl one more time, making plans to meet for breakfast before they left on their flights back home.

Daniel paused in the doorway before leaving, after hugging Sam and thanking her. He directed his next words to the people gathered in the room.

"Eight years ago all of you were strangers to me and if someone had shown me a glimpse of this future, of today in particular I would have denied it would ever be true. Things like this just didn't happen to me. But you all kind of moved in from around the edges of my life and now life without _any_ of you is unimaginable to me."

His words brought misty eyes and low sighs, murmurs of approval, into which Sam said, "Are you trying to say thank you, Daniel?"

"He will get there, Samantha Carter," Teal'c rumbled and everyone laughed.

Daniel laughed too and put his arm around Jillian's shoulders as if he needed an anchor. "Well that's true," he said, "Why use two words when over a hundred will do? But yes, thank you. Thank you for all the support you've given us, and that you've given Jillian when I wasn't there. Thank you for being able to brave the shadows with us, as well as stand in the sunshine. Thank you for… Well, for just being part of our lives."

When he stopped talking it triggered a round of applause and people coming up to hug both of them again. Jillian was wiping tears with her fingertips and laughing at the same time. Sam hugged Daniel last, tightly.

"I'm so happy for you, Daniel," she said, into his ear. "You of all people deserve a happy ending." She meant it. Despite everything that had happened to him, Daniel had never become bitter or angry. He had gotten shy and retreated a little but he had never shut himself off; and Sam thought that was just fine.

Daniel leaned back and looked seriously into her eyes. "So do you," he said, firmly.

She smiled a bit. "Well," she said, "it kind of looks like we're both going to get that. Maybe not right away, but no one has shut off the light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, lately, it's been a little bit brighter."

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	243. Chapter 243

Daniel was in an unusually good mood. He had gotten Jillian to agree to living on the base until the baby was born, close to the infirmary and instant medical care. The thought of his wife giving birth still weighed heavily on him. He had certainly witnessed it enough times to have lost any feelings of childbirth as miraculous or romantic that he might have had. He had helped too many women in places too far from modern medicine, places in which those women would easily have died if a single thing had gone wrong. He had been with them, doing what he could, watching frantic fathers stand by helplessly. He had been struck, every time, by the aura of complete isolation that had existed around the women. No matter who was with them, it was something they endured alone.

Still, he felt now as if he had things as much under control as he could. Jillian was here. She was safe. Even the various dig sites around the galaxy were producing some incredible things for his department, including the one at the Gamma site; and the constant input of information from there was keeping Jillian from going crazy.

He strode down the hall towards his office with the latest report from the Gamma site in his hand, scanning it quickly and tapping the edge with a pencil as if it would help him make sense of it. He was still looking at it when he turned the corner to enter the room. So he wasn't immediately aware that Jillian didn't look up at all when he arrived.

"Jill? Did you get a copy of this report on the Hanging Garden replica?"

When she didn't answer he finally looked. Jillian was seated upright in the chair at the desk. Her eyes were closed. Her hands were gripped around the arms of the chair. Her teeth were clenched and her shoulders were rising and falling in slow, shallow breaths.

The paper in his hands was instantly forgotten. He tossed it on the table and rushed to kneel in front of her. He put his hands over hers and waited until she relaxed a little and opened her eyes. Her eyes were pain-haunted.

"Oh, I know that look," Daniel said, slowly. "Jillian. Are you in labor?"

She nodded. "Pretty sure, yes," she said with a brave smile.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice went up about half an octave.

"I wasn't sure! Not until a little while ago anyway." To Daniel's horror tears flooded her eyes. "Don't be upset."

He stretched up and put his arms around her. "Oh, god, honey, don't cry. I'm sorry. It's all right. I know now." He pushed back, took her face between his hands, "Right?" She nodded but still looked terrified. "Okay, so when did it start do you think?"

"Last night," she answered.

"Last _night?" _Daniel blurted it out, horrified, before he could stop himself. "You've been in labor since _last night_ and didn't say anything?"

"You were asleep!"

"So wake me up!"

"Don't be mad at me." Her voice broke and she started to cry again and it was so unlike his brave, feisty wife that Daniel broke with it. He gathered her into his arms again and began stroking her hair.

"No, it's okay. I'm sorry."

"I wanted you to rest," she said, into his shoulder, sniffling now and wiping her tears on his shirt. "I thought one of us should get some sleep and I really _wasn't _sure, Daniel. You know I've been having those… those other kinds of contractions for a week."

"Braxton-Hicks," he said.

"Yes, those. Please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad," he said, quickly and repeated it. "I'm not mad, honey. Really." She relaxed in his arms. Her hands unclenched from his forearms. Daniel smiled into her hair. "Good. It's okay, Jill. Everything is going to be fine."

"So we just do what SG teams always do?" Jillian asked. "Be completely overwhelmed but proceed as if everything is under our control?"

"Something like that." He had gotten his voice under control at least, dropped it back into the soft soothing cadence she loved. "Now, that looked pretty intense already when I came in. When was the last one?"

"About forty five minutes ago."

"Was it as…intense?" He stopped himself from saying 'bad.' To him it had looked bad and he knew it was going to look much worse. But at least he was focused on her now.

"Yes," she admitted. "I was going to go get you. Really…."

"Okay! We're not worried about that anymore. Can we get to the infirmary and at least find out how far along this is?"

Her eyes widened. "I don't want to stay. They'll make me lie down and I want to keep moving."

Daniel nodded. "Yes. I understand." He did. Neither of them enjoyed time in the infirmary. There was little to no privacy. Jillian hated the isolation room intensely and would refuse to go there. "We'll just check on things and go for a walk. Keep moving for as long as you can?"

"Yes," she nodded, hopeful and eager. "I don't want it to stop or slow down. If this is it, then let's just do this." In her eyes Daniel saw gratitude and trust, faith in him and his ability to be there for her. He desperately did not want to let her down.

He squeezed her hand and then kissed the back of it. "Yeah," he said, "Let's do this."

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	244. Chapter 244

Hours later the 'terrified, uncertain Jillian' had vanished, and had been replaced by 'panting, frustrated, cursing-at-her-husband Jillian'. When the second stage of labor had finally knocked her off her feet she had agreed to a bed in as private a room as they could manage. The pain had passed intense several hours previously and she was actively screaming about it. Her fists were knotted in Daniel's sweat-soaked (her sweat, not his) shirt and she was pressing her forehead into his collar bone.

"Daniel," she gasped, _"I can't do this_."

"Yes," he said confidently, "you _can_."

She shook her head, gasped again and let out a cry that rent his soul. A moment later she was falling back against the pillows, practically sobbing. Daniel took the moment to get a cold washcloth to wipe her forehead. He offered her some ice chips, which she took.

"I can't," she said, closing her eyes.

"You're almost there. Over nine centimeters now. Not much longer," He decided that this was not a good time to remind her that she had refused the painkillers she had been offered.

Jillian closed her eyes and groaned. She threw her arm up over her eyes. The other hand was clutching his. He already had half-moon shaped bleeding wounds all over it but he didn't care.

"Tell me a story," she said.

"_Now?"_

"Yes, please. Just distract me. Please. You know a thousand stories from hundreds of cultures…."

"Okay!" Daniel fussed over her for a moment, knowing they only had a few minutes before the next contraction started. He brushed back her hair again until she pushed his hand away impatiently and said, "_Talk._ It's not something I usually have to beg you to do!"

"Okay! There's-there's a-a-a tribe in Mexico. The Huichol. They believed that the pain of childbirth should be shared by both parents, so the mother is given a string tied-tied to her husband's balls. With every contraction, she has the option to pull on the string so that the father can share the experience."

When he stopped talking, Jillian looked out from under her arm. "You're telling me _that_ now?"

"Not thinking it's a good idea are you?" Daniel asked anxiously.

"Don't tempt me," she said, and then her face contorted. "Oh god, Daniel."

It seemed much too soon, as if everything was happening much too fast now. He lifted her into his arms again and let her cling to him and curse and breathe as if she had just run for her life against a Jaffa army. When she collapsed again they were both exhausted.

"You want me to get you a string?" he asked.

In spite of everything Jillian laughed. Daniel started talking again, fast. "In China they keep a knife under the mattress during labor to ward off evil spirits."

"Oh, believe me," she said, accepting more ice chips, "you don't even want me near a string right now, much less a knife."

"Japanese women are expected to be quiet during labor."

"_Bite me_, Daniel."

"Yeah, I thought you'd say that." He searched the memory bank of his brain and said, "In Russia they believe labor will be easier if men and women tell each other all the names of all their former lovers."

"_Daniel!_" she snapped. "Besides, don't we already know?"

"Yes!" he said, quickly.

"Well then it's not working and the Russians are _fucking morons!"_

She struggled up again, curled up in agony.

"_I need to push," _she whispered hoarsely.

"No, honey, don't. Not yet. Wait."

"_I have to," _she was clutching his shirt again. "_Daniel, please."_

Daniel hit the call button on the table next to them.

"Daniel!"

"What, sweetheart?"

"There's a Scottish tradition where the mother crushes bones in her husband's hand while swearing like a drunken sailor. Can we do that?"

Daniel laughed in spite of himself and kissed her forehead. "We can do anything you want."

Dr. Lam came in a moment later.

"Let's have a look," she said, with bright professionalism and a moment after that she said, "All right, Jillian. I think this is it. Do you feel like pushing?"

Jillian nodded, her face contorted, her hair plastered to her neck and forehead. "The last two times actually."

"Well then let's go. I think this baby really wants to meet everyone finally."

"Daniel!" Jillian cried.

"What?" he asked, alarmed.

"Don't leave!"

"Really?" he asked, "Because I was going to run out quick for coffee. Would you mind?"

She aimed a punch at his arm, missed and then curled forward again, screaming.

"Come on, Jillian. Push!" Dr. Lam said.

Daniel held her as tightly as he dared. Her body shook as if she was having a seizure. She was tense as a plucked wire, grasping his arms and sobbing.

"Good!" Dr. Lam seemed just a little too happy for Daniel. Didn't she know this was serious? "Okay, come on. We're going to do this about two more times. Ready."

Jillian collapsed against him again. "I can't," she whispered.

Daniel took her face between his hands. "Jill, look at me. This is our son. Our _son._ The Asgard gave him to us forty weeks ago and you've done _everything_ you needed to do, and you are _not _going to quit two pushes from finally being able to hold him. Do you understand?"

She was staring back at him in panicked exhaustion. But then the pain started again and she braced her feet and bore down to Dr. Lam's excited encouragement and Daniel's whispered, incoherent endearments.

"Almost. One more. That's all." Dr. Lam told them.

Daniel held her while she made one more monumental effort at getting their son on the planet and then her last scream faded into the first startled sound Jonathan Daniel Jackson would make in his life.

The sound woke everything in Daniel that had been waiting for that moment. He looked down at Jillian and saw it in her eyes too. Not only was a son born, but a mother and father committed to him forever.

"Is he all right?" Jillian asked, anxiously when the noise stopped.

The nurses had whisked JD away for a quick examination but Dr. Lam brought him back, wrapped in a light green blanket and placed him gently in Jillian's arms. She reached for him eagerly.

Daniel was too stunned to move. He had never seen anything in his life – on this or any other planet – to match the image of his wife finally holding their son. She couldn't take her eyes off their newborn for several long moments, laughing and crying a little at the funny face he made, scrunching up his little nose and then staring back at them as if he was a little awed too.

"He looks like you," Jillian said, in shocked amazement.

Daniel sat down very gently on the edge of the bed and leaned over. He had resisted his need to touch for too long. He stroked a finger reverently down his son's tiny face.

"That's what you wanted," he said.

"Right now, it doesn't matter to me at all," she answered, turning to look at him finally. "I'm just so…stunned, that he's real. But it's kind of…well, it's kind of awesome."

"You've always loved him, haven't you?" Daniel asked. "From the moment the Asgard gave him to us, you loved him."

Jillian's brows knitted. "Didn't you?"

"I don't…I'm not sure. Whatever I felt it wasn't this. I wanted to protect him. I was and I am fiercely devoted to that. But this…" He stopped touching their son long enough to gently stroke his fingers down her cheek. "The last time I fell in love this hard it was with you."

Daniel was swirling his fingertip around in his son's palm now, mesmerized by how small he was. A sense of the miraculous that he had lost a long time ago was flooding back into his soul. Once again, he looked into the eyes of his beautiful, incredible wife – his _soul_ mate who had given him this amazing gift and saw it reflected back.

Nothing – _nothing_ – was ever going to be the same again.

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	245. Chapter 245

Daniel was seated in a chair, mercifully one with arms, holding JD cradled carefully in his own arms, against his chest. It was like holding a piece of the future, a piece of hope wrapped in a blanket. JD had nursed and then fallen sound asleep. His mother had followed him into sleep after a shower and a kiss that Daniel could only pray had conveyed half the love and gratitude he was feeling.

That had been two hours ago. Daniel had tried to get up and go do something a dozen times and found that he was incapable. He had no power to leave his wife and son. He wondered if he ever would. He was owned heart and soul by something that was nineteen inches long, eight pounds and two ounces and had been born on March 11, 2005. Distantly Daniel wondered who had won the pool and discovered he didn't care. He had the grand prize. He brushed his fingers along JD's rose petal soft cheek and got a soft coo, followed by a nose-wrinkling yawn that made Daniel laugh because it was the most precious expression he had ever seen. Then the baby snuggled back down; as worn out by the ordeal of being born as his mother was by giving birth.

"It's all right," Daniel murmured, thinking how odd it must seem to JD – cocooned in warmth and solitude and safety one moment and then painfully pushed out into a world of lights and loud noises and smells and strangers. "It's a lot to deal with, but you don't have to do it alone." JD's tiny face scrunched up again and he swatted at the world with his fists for a moment. Daniel laughed. He couldn't help it. Another yawn and JD settled into the slow breathing of sleep.

At some point Daniel realized he was going to be crazy with terror that now he had two people to protect. But at the moment he was exhausted – his son having decided to come into the world at almost midnight and Daniel resisting sleep – and he was just silly, stupidly in love and so grateful he wanted to call Thor to thank him personally.

He had called everyone else, but the lateness of the hour had given him the excuse to ask them to wait, to let them all sleep and recover and then descend on them tomorrow. He was pretty sure he would still be sitting right in the same chair, holding his son, unless Jillian was awake and she wanted him.

A moment after that thought, Jillian stirred. He had thought she would sleep for hours, but her eyes opened and she blinked and then saw him – them – and he was being held in a long, steady gaze of astonished love and joy.

"How do you feel?" Daniel asked, softly.

"Sore," she admitted, knowing he wouldn't believe anything else. "Still sleepy. Deliriously happy. I guess I wanted to check on you both. Is he all right?"

"He's perfect," Daniel said. He glanced down at his son and something in his eyes must have given him away because Jillian asked,

"Are _you _all right?"

Daniel hesitated but his heart was beating slow and hard and he blurted out the one thing he'd been thinking since the first time they had put JD in his arms. "I don't know how Jack survived." He wanted to say more but a heavy lump formed in his throat and strangled the rest of the words.

Concerned darkened Jillian's eyes and she turned, lifting her head a little. "What do you mean?"

Daniel made a small gesture with his head in JD's direction, choking back emotion. "He's three hours old and I'm ready to give up my life for him. He's three hours old and if something happened to him, I don't think I'd survive." He swallowed again and looked up at Jillian, haunted and bewildered. "And if that meant losing you too…. I don't know what I would do, Jill. I just…. Just now understand why he took the one way trip to Abydos."

"Daniel, don't," Jillian said, trying to get up.

"No," he said, quickly, smiling in a self-deprecating way and trying to deflect the heavy emotion hanging in the air, "I'm all right. It's clearing skies chance of insight. You know? I think I understand Jack one minute and the next he's driving me nuts again and now … this."

Jillian smiled at him with such tenderness that Daniel subsided again.

"Have you been sitting here the whole time?"

Daniel looked a little sheepish. "I can't put him down. I tried but I just can't. Not yet," he admitted, "and I can't leave you."

He looked back up and saw his wife fall irreparably in love with him all over again. It hit him like a shockwave, with breath-stealing surprise and a flood of emotion.

"You think you could let me hold him for a little while?" She asked, softly.

Daniel got up immediately, carefully but still instantly, and brought him to her. Even as he was transferring JD to his mother's arms as if the small bundle was made of spun sugar he was saying, "You should try to sleep more." He pressed a fierce, long kiss against her hair and stayed there for a moment, breathing her in.

"I will," she assured him, "I just need to hold him. Is he hungry, do you think?"

Daniel pulled his glasses off, moved her hair out of the way and nuzzled against her ear. She had been his wife a little over twenty four hours ago. She had been the woman he loved for longer than that. But now she was also a mother. Not only had JD been born, but somehow two parents as well, two people who had not existed until their son took his first breath.

"They said he would sleep for most of the next twenty four hours and that's what he's been doing."

"You should try to sleep too, Daniel," she said, fixing the blanket and running the back of her finger along JD's cheek.

"I will, before we take him home. I want to be there for both of you and I can't do that if I'm asleep on my feet."

Jillian turned her head to look at him, her face inches from his. "Are you all right? Really? You seem …."

When she trailed off Daniel said, "Stunned?"

"I think that's what you're supposed to feel when someone puts a miracle in your arms and says you get to keep it," Jillian smiled as she rubbed her cheek with his. "

"That was how I always felt about you," Daniel answered.

They rested forehead to forehead for a moment, simply smiling into each other's eyes with their son nestled between them. After a moment, Jillian sighed and slipped back down to lie on the pillow again.

"I'm so tired, Daniel," she whispered.

"Well look what you just did. That was some marathon you just ran and look what we have because of it," he said, kissing her forehead. "Go to sleep. I'll watch him."

She nodded and let Daniel take JD back, passing him delicately. Daniel's entire hand covered JD's back and neck. He didn't return to the chair. He stayed perched on the edge of the bed, with one hand gently stroking Jillian's hair and his son cradled in the other arm. He sat and just watched them both for a long time, mesmerized, hypnotized.

The Universe it seemed, for whatever reason, had granted him two miracles.

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	246. Chapter 246

Daniel didn't know why he had expected Jack to wait until it was some reasonable time of the day to appear on the base. He had called Jack first, of course, even before Jillian's father. So maybe it made some kind of weird sense that Jack got there before everyone else. It was just after 9am when JD had made his first vocalization that sounded like grumpy displeasure. He had paused briefly when his eyes opened and focused intently on his father's face. With that brilliant grasp of a situation that he must have gotten from his mother, JD processed that Daniel was not the nourishment-producing parent, screwed his face up in displeasure, and let out a howl. Jillian had woken instantly, nursed JD until he fell back into a blissful sleep, and then insisted on what she called 'a real shower'. Daniel knew that meant she would be in there for a while, especially since had been the one helping her with 'real showers' for the last few weeks. He suspected she was just enjoying the luxury of being able to reach her own feet.

He was walking around the room with their freshly-fed, changed, recently-swaddled and happily dozing newborn – because he still couldn't quite bring himself to put JD down in a bassinet. The movement in the doorway instantly caught his attention, as all movement did. He relaxed instantly and almost laughed. It was Jack, wearing jeans and a plaid flannel shirt, with a bouquet of white roses and blue carnations in one hand and a four-foot tall teddy bear riding on his shoulders.

Jack stopped, stared for a moment, and then said, "You've been busy."

Daniel said, "Me? I just stood on the sidelines."

Jack came into the room, dropped the bear on the bed and went to stand in front of Daniel. He held out the flowers.

"For me?" Daniel asked.

"For your wife, idiot," Jack answered.

"Then you can give them to her. She's in the shower."

"They're for _you_ to give to her."

"What?"

Jack shrugged. "I figured you hadn't had time to call the florist."

Daniel was staring at him, stunned. Jack crossed the distance between them and looked down the tiny bundle, the small face peering out from the folds of a blue blanket.

"Oh my god," he said, in a soft voice, with a tone Daniel had never quite heard from him. "Did you ask Thor for a mini-me?"

"His hair is darker," Daniel said, "and he didn't get that hint of red in it from me."

"Two redheads in the family," Jack said. "Lucky you."

Daniel looked straight at Jack and said, "Yep. Lucky me."

Jack nodded, totally getting it. "Don't forget that."

"I won't," Daniel said, then shocked himself by saying, "Do you want to hold him?"

He hadn't been able to let anyone but Jillian hold JD but it seemed right somehow to ask Jack. It also seemed right somehow that gruff, hard-as-nails, sardonic Jack O'Neill would nod and thrust the bouquet into Daniel's hands, holding his arms out for JD like a seasoned veteran.

As Daniel watched his son settle down in Jack's sure and certain embrace it occurred to him that he had never seen Jack with a newborn. Jett had been eighteen months old the first time Daniel had met him.

Still, the guy was a natural. There was nothing awkward or strained, no hint that Jack was anxious to hand JD back.

"I can't believe you got flowers for me to give Jillian," Daniel said, shaking his head and looking at them. "She's going to know you brought them."

"No she won't," Jack said, not looking up from the baby. "Sign the card, hide them behind something and have them waiting in a vase when she wakes up next time."

Daniel lowered his head and looked over the top of his glasses. "Black Ops for husbands?"

"Don't knock it," Jack said, then changed the subject. "So did you two finally pick a name or are we just going to keep calling him 'the baby'?"

Daniel hesitated. He'd told Teal'c months ago and then sworn him to secrecy, only to find out that Jillian had told Sam and done the same thing. He'd almost suspected that Jack already knew and was, typically, playing dumb. "You don't know?" he asked.

Jack looked up as if he was surprised. "You've refused to even give anyone a hint, and I'm not psychic."

Daniel hesitated again, exhaled and said, "His name is Jonathan."

It wasn't the first time Daniel had said something that had made Jack speechless. It took several moments of looking back and forth between the baby and Daniel before Jack found his voice again.

"Are you serious?" Jack asked.

"Yes."

"Daniel-"

"That's his middle name, actually."

Jack blinked and stopped talking again for a moment. Then, "His name is Jonathan Daniel?"

"Uh-huh," Daniel said disingenuously. "We're going to call him JD, though. Jonathan is a little long, probably how you wound up being called Jack-"

"Daniel, you don't have to do this," Jack interrupted.

"What?"

"Name him after me! There are dozens of people you could name him after! Or just give him his own name…."

"JD _is_ his own name. It's not like we can call him Jack because Jack Jackson is just awkward–"

"Daniel!"

"What?"

"I mean it."

"So do _we_."

Jack looked back down at the bundle in his arms and stared. He looked as if he was suddenly caught in the pull of forces beyond his control. Emotion always seemed multiplied in Jack, when he finally chose to show it – as if the very act of suppressing it made it increase exponentially. So the profound gratitude in his eyes didn't surprise Daniel.

His friendship with Jack had always been one of unpredictable clarity, often beautiful, even in the times when they had been most vehement in their disagreement. Sometimes, they had moments that transcended voice, or words or actions; when one or the other did something so moving but so understated that it explained their relationship in the most basic terms.

"So," Daniel said, "am I winning the argument this time?"

"Well you're certainly ahead on points," Jack grumbled.

"Besides," Daniel said, with a smug and satisfied smile, "we already filled out and filed the paperwork. You are holding Jonathan Daniel Jackson and there isn't a damned thing you can do about it."

Jack snorted and shook his head. "Fine. Go fill out the card on the flowers before your wife gets back. Say something romantic."

"Yes, sir," Daniel replied, mockingly.

He went to the chair, sat down and stared at the card. To stall for time he rummaged around in the drawer until he found a pen. Jack was – inconceivably – cooing at his namesake, who was awake again and cooing back.

"I don't know what to write," he said, after a moment.

"You're the 'word guy'. What do you mean you don't know what to write?" Jack said.

"After what she just did, what she just gave me? How are there words for that?" Daniel asked.

Jack was looking back at him steadily. "Keep your eyes on the prize, Daniel."

Daniel nodded and finally scrawled "_More than anything I have seen in my life you have made me believe in the impossible. I love you. I love you both." _He tucked it into the flowers and then hid them behind the privacy curtain. "Thank you," he said to Jack, sincerely.

"No problem," Jack said. "The bear is for you."

Daniel smirked at him. "I'll treasure it always."

JD chose that moment to begin seriously fussing again. Hoping that his son didn't want his mother again, Daniel took him back from Jack. Fortunately, JD settled down right away. Relief and adoration flooded his soul. Maybe JD was kind of warming up to his father too.

"You slept recently?" Jack asked.

Daniel looked startled and thought about it for a moment and then said, "A day or so ago?"

"Well trust me, you're going to want your rest when you can get it. I'm going to hit the commissary and see if they have pie. Find me there when you can and then you're going to hit the sack."

"Is that an order?"

"Yep, and I expect you to obey this one, for a change."

Daniel decided not to argue, especially considering he had won the last round. "Sure. As soon as Jillian gets back and I get them both settled."

Hands in his pockets, posture slumped as if he was tired, Jack nodded and left as quietly as he had arrived.

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	247. Chapter 247

**Four Weeks later:**

Daniel woke with a start, instantly alert. He took in his surroundings in a single glance – he was in a bed in the infirmary, lying on clean green sheets with his head on a fluffy pillow. He wasn't still running backwards, firing a P90, with Sam stumbling ahead of him bleeding and Teal'c dragging a nearly unconscious O'Neill along with them.

He risked lifting his head – which hurt, but not too badly – turned to one side out of instinct and saw his wife sitting beside him. She was smiling at him but he thought there was a hint of sadness in it. His stomach lurched. Oh god, not again. Not like Janet….

"Jack," he managed to croak. His throat was dry as packed wool. "Sam. Teal'c."

"They're fine," Jillian said quickly. She reached for the cup of water by the bed, stood, and helped him hold his head up long enough to drink it.

He sank back down with a groan. "Good," he said. "Jack…it was bad."

"It was several hours of surgery, and he'll be off his feet for a while but he's going to be fine."

Daniel closed his eyes and spoke slowly. "There was an explosion. We couldn't believe he was still breathing. Then we were chased all the way back to the Gate. Sam was hit before we got there. They got me as I was dialing."

"Teal'c told us. It's all right. You just need to rest."

Daniel opened his eyes again and focused on her face. There was something…_off. _Something not quite right. He studied her face, the worried lines in her forehead, the set of her mouth even as she tried to smile. All right, he had nearly gotten killed again but that should just have her looking relieved. There was something right there in her eyes but he didn't know what it was. He wanted desperately to bring her back to herself, make it right. But he wasn't sure how.

"I'm sorry_, patlicana_," he said softly.

Her eyebrows lifted and a puzzled look crossed her face. "What?"

"I'm sorry."

"No, that word – _patlicana_. I've never heard it."

Daniel frowned. "I call you that all the time. It's from the temple on PK3-7723. Remember? The love poem – well, lament, really – but you said it was beautiful and you translated it as 'beloved petal' even though I thought it was more like 'precious garlic'…"

"Daniel," she interrupted, "I've never been to PK3-7723."

"What? Of course you have! Years ago…."

"Daniel," she said it again with so much conviction and sorrow and urgency that he stopped talking.

He looked at her again, took all of her in. She reached up as he did and released the band holding her ponytail as if she was getting a headache. He gaped at the way it cascaded down over her shoulders, almost midway down her back.

"How long was I out? How did your hair get that long?" he demanded.

"It's been growing like crazy for months, especially after the baby…."

"_Baby_?" Daniel sat straight up, shocked.

Her hand found his shoulder and he felt anchored at the contact.

"Jillian what is going on?" he asked, a little breathless.

Her eyes filled with tears suddenly. "Oh, Daniel. I knew I wasn't going to be good at this but they insisted anyway. They said it should be me. I…I'm not _your_ Jillian, and you aren't my Daniel. My Daniel – _my _SG1 – is on the Prometheus trying to fix the unholy mess that brought you here."

He stared at her, trying to digest that and failing. "This isn't _my_ SGC?"

"Something is happening with the Gate and if you want a better explanation than that you're going to have to ask one of the Sams–"

"_ONE_ of the Sam…Sams?" he blurted.

"There were eighteen at last count, including yours, who really _is_ fine and I'm sure you can see her soon. Cameron Mitchell is sitting with her."

He looked blank for a moment. "Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell?"

"Yes."

"He died in the battle over Antarctica. His 302 went down. But he saved all of us."

Jillian closed her eyes and inhaled as if her chest hurt. "Oh my god," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly.

"It's all right. _My _Cameron Mitchell is the leader of SG1 and is currently on board the Prometheus. The Cameron Mitchell from another team insisted on sitting with your Samantha Carter."

"The leader of SG1? Where is Jack?"

"_My _Jack O'Neill is the head of Homeworld Security in DC."

A look of complete astonishment took over Daniel's face. "Jack in DC? Has he killed anyone yet?"

"There have been a couple of close calls but no actual shots fired," Jillian managed to smile at him a little.

Daniel ducked his head and looked at her as if still had his glasses on and was peering over the top. "You said something about a baby?"

"My son," and now her face was misty, "_our _son, my Daniel's and mine. He's four weeks old and I'm going to have to go get him in a little bit because he's going to be hungry."

Daniel just continued to look astonished. "I think I would really like to talk to Sam now. Not mine. Well, yes mine too but–but also one of the ones who can tell me what the hell is going on."

"I'll send you the one I left the baby with," Jillian said, rising.

He couldn't help it. He sat up and grabbed her hand. "Jillian."

She didn't pull her hand away. In fact she squeezed his fingers comfortingly. The touch should have caused the immediate electric sizzle that always sparked between them. He was stunned all over again when it didn't, as though his body knew this wasn't his reality. This wasn't his Jillian.

"You said SG1 was on the Prometheus because they have a way to fix this."

"Yes," she said confidently.

Daniel sighed and let go of her, sinking back into the sheet.

"Good," he said, "because I would really like to go home to _my_ wife."

Her smile was gentle. "I know. And she very much wants you to come home. You just have to do what I always do."

"What's that?" he frowned.

Hesitantly, Jillian leaned down and kissed his forehead in a gentle, platonic way. "You have to trust Daniel Jackson."

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**A/N By now you've figured out that this is a tag to Ripple Effect, which I didn't want to say at the top because it kind of ruins the whole chapter. There will, hopefully, be several tags to that episode.**


	248. Chapter 248

The 'green-camo' Daniel came into the gym while Jillian was walking on the treadmill. There had been two other Daniels in there earlier and she thought maybe she was getting used to it. The man lifting a fifty pound barbell in an easy curl just across from her was certainly Daniel. The long, slim, wide-set legs were Daniel's. The way the camo pants draped over his slim hips were Daniel's. The white-ribbed tank shirt revealed the classically sculpted arms that were Daniel's and clung to abs that Daniel kept almost obsessively toned. The long, slender fingers were Daniel's, two of them still stained with ink from whatever he had been working on before walking through the Stargate. The disproportionately heavy chest, the shoulders bulked with muscle from an addiction to lifting, the beautiful long column of his neck, the cut of the dark bronze hair, the startling blue of the eyes, all Daniel's.

It just wasn't her Daniel. There was something wrong with the way he moved, the way he sat, the tilt of head and the set of his jaw. All definitely _not _Daniel. The way there was something off about all of them.

So maybe she wasn't going to get used to it, not ever. Most of them were unfailingly polite, their questions tinted with Daniel's natural empathy; but all of them were driven by her Daniel's fatal curiosity. She knew better than to think this one would be different; and in his curiosity and gentle approach, he wasn't. His questions, however, were very different.

"Do you mind if I ask you something? I know a lot of us have been bothering you and I don't want to intrude."

'Us'. It almost made Jillian smile. It was so like Daniel to simply embrace all his other incarnations as brothers.

"Of course," she said, continuing her steady pace on the treadmill.

"You're married to...well, I can't exactly say 'me'. But in this reality, you married Daniel Jackson."

"Almost a year ago."

The look on Daniel's face almost did her in. She had seen it too many times: The tightened mouth, eyes unfocused, the distant expression that said his mind had just gone a million miles away. In their case, maybe even a million _light-years_ away. When he didn't speak she prompted him. "I take it that in your reality we aren't?"

He looked up and it seemed as if he had utterly forgotten she was in the room. "No. In my reality I am…_was_ married to Sha're until I managed to get myself killed on Kelowna and Ascended and then lost all of Abydos to Ascension, only to be sent back to Earth myself." He stopped, realizing that he was starting to ramble.

"You saved Sha're?" Jillian asked.

"Yes and the Tok'ra drove out Amaunet." There was fierce satisfaction on his voice, then sorrow. "I'm finding out that was kind of rare in the different realities. I seem to be the only one who found her and brought her out of all that hell." He paused and sighed and dropped the barbell back into its cradle. "Of course I'm not sure it matters. I lost her all over again when I didn't manage to return Shifu to her. She never forgave me. I couldn't make her understand how much safer he was with Oma. She was his mother, as far as she was concerned, and the manner of his conception be damned; and she wanted him back. Maybe she'll forgive me again someday, if I can Ascend again."

Jillian thought about losing JD and felt a sharp pang of sympathy. Of course, JD wasn't a Harcesis and the information he had wasn't a danger to humanity.

"So, you only Ascended once?" she asked.

"What?" Daniel looked blank. "Yes, after Kelowna."

"Not after being captured by the Replicators?"

He blinked and continued to look blank. "No. Oma rescued me and sent me back. I'm not sure what happened to her after that. I suspect she destroyed Anubis and was punished for that."

"Something like that," Jillian said vaguely, since they really weren't at all sure themselves what had happened between Oma and Anubis. She changed the subject. "But you and I never…got together? In any way?"

"No," Daniel said. "Jillian North was killed in a mudslide on 657, during an excavation of a ruin and gravesite. I lost a valued colleague and SG8 lost a piece of its soul. But I was still trying to win back Sha're at the time."

Jillian's soul did a slow-motion plummet to the bottom of her stomach. "Oh my god," she whispered, "I _was_ caught in a mudslide. Daniel saved my life. He did CPR to get my heart and breathing started again. I'm alive right now because of him."

"I wasn't there," Daniel said, looking horrified, "SG1 was on another mission."

"It took both Daniel and Teal'c to pull me out. If you weren't there then…" Jillian forced her legs to keep moving, walking as if she wasn't shaken at all by the thought of how close she had come to dying.

"I feel like I should say I am sorry. But…."

Jillian shook her head. "It had nothing to do with you. If we are talking about a multi-verse then anything that could happen did happen somewhere. It's pointless to run in circles as if we can change anything."

"Well I'm still hoping we can change _this_ part of it. I'd really like to go home."

"I'm surprised by how calm everyone has been about this, really." Jillian said.

"Maybe it's because every single one of us in all these realities has been in worse situations and pulled it out. I trust _my _Samantha Carter. Imagine the faith I have in all eighteen of them."

"Well, we're down to sixteen at the moment," Jillian pointed out, "But you're right. I trust Sam too."

'Green-camo' Daniel stood up. "Thank you for talking to me. If it makes any difference, I get what he sees in you. If I hadn't been so intent on saving my marriage, I can see…well, I'm glad he found someone like you."

"Thank you," Jillian said.

He gave the small, self-conscious smile that was more just a twitch of his lips than anything else. "What I don't get is what you see in him."

She smiled back and stopped walking. "After all this time, after all we've been through, separately and together, I still have to catch my breath every time I see him. He still gives me that moment of butterflies, that leap in my soul as it recognizes its other half. I can't explain it other than that."

Daniel nodded, grabbed the towel he had brought in with him and said, "He's a lucky man." Then he disappeared out the door, leaving Jillian – finally – alone.

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	249. Chapter 249

General Landry had been rather generous in turning a blind eye to Jillian being on the base with a four-week-old baby. She thought it was probably just another sign of Daniel's unspoken but considerable power over the Stargate Program.

JD was fussy, and it had been a restless night since Daniel had gone off on the Prometheus. Jillian didn't know if he somehow sensed his father's absence or if he was picking up on her uneasiness over the entire situation – which was possible if he had inherited his father's natural empathy. She had kept him as far away from all the multiple Daniels as she possibly could. This meant spending a lot of time hiding in the office or their quarters. At the moment she was in the office, gently rocking JD while he nursed snuggled under a blanket.

JD was the most extraordinary thing she had ever experienced, perhaps equal only to Daniel in the degree of love and amazement he could produce. He was another piece of herself, separate but nonetheless as vital to her as her own heartbeat. JD continued to have very dark blue eyes, darker than Daniel's and nothing like hers at all. The only hint that she was his mother was in his dark hair with its red-gold highlights.

JD paused and made a soft unhappy noise that broke her heart.

"It's okay," she whispered, stroking his petal-soft cheek as he settled back down. She put the blanket back in place carefully. "He'll be back. He has to go away sometimes but he always comes back."

A short time later, JD fell asleep on her shoulder while she gently patted his back. She was still sitting there, rocking and patting, when Janet appeared in the doorway.

Jillian had been avoiding Janet. It was just too painful. But there was no avoiding this. She was trapped in the office with concrete walls at her side and back.

Janet's tentative smile told her that she knew what Jillian was thinking.

"Do you mind if I come in?" she asked.

"Sure," Jillian said, hesitantly.

So Janet came in and sat down on one of the stools at the worktable. Jillian focused on her baby for a moment while she got her scattered emotions under control. She moved JD from her shoulder back into her arms and covered him with his blanket.

"You don't exist in my reality," Janet said. Jillian looked up sharply. Well, that was Janet. Blunt, direct and unlikely to chase around after what she had come to say. Janet continued, "I mean, I suppose you exist, but according to Daniel you chose not to join the Program."

Jillian thought back to the moment nine years ago when she had decided to go see what the US government was offering her. It would have been very easy to dismiss it. She had been pretty focused on saving a vital historical site in Iran from being bulldozed to make room for a hotel/resort complex.

JD fussed again, which was unlike him. Normally he slept just fine after eating. She rocked him a little bit until he yawned and then calmed again.

"He's beautiful," Janet said. There was such a note of tender, misty longing in her voice that Jillian was startled. "Daniel and I have talked about having children but now with the Ori threat…."

"Daniel and…_you_?" Jillian was too shocked to say anything else.

"Yes," Janet said. "We've been together for almost two years, since he…well, descended, I guess. Did that happen here?"

"Yes," Jillian was still a little breathless.

Had that been the reason Janet – _her _Janet – had always held herself back from Jillian a little bit? Jillian had always sensed that Janet considered Sam to be her best friend. It was Sam that Janet talked to about the important things. Sam that Janet called at three in the morning when she couldn't sleep. It had never bothered Jillian. Jillian turned to Sam too, and since Sam seemed to turn to both her and Janet in equal measure, it had all worked out.

But her Janet had never expressed any kind of interest in Daniel; and of course she wouldn't have, in the face of how much Jillian and Daniel loved each other.

"I never forgave General O'Neill," Janet went on.

"Why?" Jillian felt as if she was having a dozen different conversations, some here and some with ghosts of the past and of futures that had never been.

"He ordered Jacob Carter to stop trying to heal Daniel after the accident on Kelowna. I couldn't do it. I wanted him back in whatever form that took, but General O'Neill let him go."

Jillian looked into the eyes of this other Janet, this stranger who lived in a world so like her own and so different and saw that they had both shared the same horrible, anguished loss.

"I didn't know that about Jack," Jillian said, mentally noting that Janet had not referred to him by anything but his rank and last name and that it held a note of bitterness each time. "Daniel told me that he made the decision, that much he remembered. It's almost everything _after_ Ascending that he forgets."

"Yes, he's tried to tell me that too," Janet said. "I'm just not sure when General O'Neill started listening to Daniel about anything."

Jillian held JD a little tighter and glanced at her wedding ring. _Her _Daniel loved her. Of that she was sure. She let that knowledge anchor her. If Jack had been the one to order Jacob to stop it was because Daniel had asked him to, because _her _Janet wouldn't have been able to. If it was because Janet had been in love with Daniel or Janet was just the kind of doctor who fought Death as if it was a personal enemy, it didn't matter. The outcome was the same.

There had only been two people in the room with the authority to end the treatment and Daniel had gone to Jack, because Jack was the one who would understand. Jack would have objected, vehemently, as he had so many times over so many things Daniel wanted to do. But he would have caved and Daniel would know that and so Daniel had gone to him and Jack had given the order.

Jillian was intensely grateful she had not been in the room. She would have begged Jack on her hands and knees for Daniel's life and regretted every day that she would have had to watch Daniel – vibrant, brilliant Daniel – live a crippled existence. Of all the people who loved Daniel it seemed Jack was the only one who loved him enough to let him go.

Janet would never have let him go if there was any choice at all. Not her Janet and apparently not this one either. Her Janet would have refused to lose a friend, a colleague, a _patient._ But had she also been refusing to lose the man she loved without any hope at all of ever having?

_Half the women on this base are in love with you, Daniel. _She had said that to him once. She had just never thought Janet Fraiser might be one of them.

Jillian didn't know how to explain any of that. She didn't know this Janet. She didn't know the woman who was apparently Daniel Jackson's lover in another reality. Janet surprised her by leaning forward.

"Can I hold him?" She asked, nodding towards the baby.

Jillian hesitated, mostly because she didn't want JD to wake up after his restless night but a little bit because she wasn't sure about it. Then she nodded and lifted him up and Janet slipped off the stool eagerly and took him in her arms.

"Oh my god he looks so much like Daniel," Janet said, echoing what everyone said when they looked closely at JD.

And he did. His facial structure was his father's. His eyes were still too dark, too blue-gray to be Daniel's. The only thing betraying his maternal parentage was his dark brown, red-tinted hair.

"You and Daniel should talk about children again," Jillian said, slowly.

"The Ori-"

"There's always going to be something," Jillian said. "The Ori, the Lucian Alliance, the Wraith. It's a big galaxy and we can't put our lives on hold for it. We got Daniel back. Jack kept telling me that Daniel would get sick of paradise and come back to us, and he did. He deserves a chance to pass on all that brilliance, and so do you."

"That's incredibly generous of you to say, considering…."

"There isn't any considering. I have my Daniel and you have yours."

Janet looked down at the baby in her arms and rocked him, swaying on her feet in a timeless rhythm.

"He's an incredible pain in the ass at times isn't he? Daniel, I mean," Janet said.

Jillian smiled with wry affection. "Yes," she said, "he is."

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	250. Chapter 250

Sam sat and watched Jack sleeping. It wasn't, in fact, her Jack at all; but the one that had 'Gated in from another universe, one in which he had never stepped down as leader of SG1. It had nearly gotten him killed. He had woken up once already, been informed of the situation, growled, demanded to see Landry and talk to his Carter. His Carter, however, was still out of it following her several hours of surgery. So Sam had gone and talked to him and it had been one of the oddest conversations of her life.

It was quite clear that either this Jack was very good at covering for them; or he and that universe's Samantha Carter had never gotten together. She was well-versed in how good Jack was at covering for them. But this seemed like more.

She had explained the problem with the wormhole to him as best she could. He had been less than pleased. When Sam had left that first time, the Teal'c from that universe had come to sit with him.

Now she was back from the pointless trip across the galaxy on the Prometheus and she wanted to talk to Jack one more time, to tell him that she could send them home and, well, something else.

But she had to wait for him to wake up. This team would be one of the last they sent home. They were still in recovery, Jack most of all. He'd been dragged here by Teal'c. He would probably go back on a stretcher, which wouldn't make him happy at all.

It was strange to sit in the infirmary beside a man who was not her Jack but looked and acted exactly like him. Stranger somehow than working side by side with eighteen variations of herself. Watching him so still and quiet, pale under his usual tan, made her ache for the one who belonged to her.

He stirred, moved slightly under the green bedding and opened his eyes. This one at least woke up the same way hers did – instantly, and with complete clarity and awareness of where he was. He peered at her from under sleepy-looking eyelids and said, "Carter."

"Yes, sir," she answered, "but not yours. I mean, not your Carter. I'm the one from here."

Jack waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, I get it. So what's going on? You figure out how to get us back yet?"

"Actually, yes," she said brightly.

Jack made a short grunting sound. "Knew you would."

Sam felt a flash of the old exasperation, the one she used to feel in the beginning of their working relationship – when Jack would dump an impossible situation on her and then walk away as if he didn't even care enough to watch how she would pull it off. It had taken her a long time realize the depth of trust that implied. Jack was a bit of control freak, albeit a sneaky undercover kind of control freak. He had not been indifferent. He had simply had a faith in her that defied understanding.

"So," Jack went on, "are we cleared to go?"

Sam regarded him for a few minutes. "We have to set up a few things and send everyone home in some kind of order."

"Of course we do," Jack said. His head fell heavily back into the pillow. "But still, well done."

"Thank you, sir."

It seemed like the end of the conversation and Sam hesitated. It probably wasn't any of her business but…

"Is she still engaged?"

Jack looked at her sharply and then shook his head. "Not for a year."

She stood up and gave Jack the handwritten note she had composed.

"I need to go to the Control Room. Kvasir should have the equipment we need in place to start sending everyone home."

Jack nodded and waited until she had left to unfold the note. Turning away from the security cameras he began to read.

_If she isn't still engaged, you are the reason,_ the note said in Samantha Carter's precise handwriting. _If you aren't already together you should go to her house and demand to know that, make her tell you. It's been worth the risks. It's been worth everything._

(0)

He'd flatly refused the stretcher, as everyone had known he would. So everyone quit arguing with him and just let him walk with Teal'c standing much too close and Daniel beside him on a pair of crutches and Sam with her arm in a sling taking their six. Considering the urgency in getting them home there was little in the way of farewells. The Gate dialed and they came in as it settled down and started up the ramp. In the middle of the ramp, however, Jack O'Neill stopped and turned to look up at the Control Room.

"Carter!" He barked.

Sam leaned over to speak into the microphone. "Yes, sir?"

"That advice you gave me. I think I'll take it."

Sam smiled. "You won't regret it, sir. Good luck."

"You too," he answered.

Then he turned and walked through the event horizon, back to his own world.

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	251. Chapter 251

Daniel found Jillian sitting in the middle of their bed in their quarters, where he had found her countless times before. In the past she would have been hunched over her laptop with one of his notebooks, with papers scattered and probably old books, her glasses on and her hair in a messy ponytail with a pencil stuck in it. This time he found her cross-legged with JD lying on the quilt in front of her. The baby had his small fists locked around her fingers and she was singing to him – the Hokey Pokey of all things. JD was finding this hilarious, given the frequency of his laughing little gurgles. She stopped in mid-chorus when Daniel came in.

He stopped in midstride, so overcome with awe and stupefied by love that he couldn't move. Jillian's eyes flew open wide with delight and then they were both moving. Jillian scrambled across the bed and got to the edge just as he reached it. She knelt up. Her arms went up and around his neck and his went around her, pulling her frantically close only because he sensed that something was wrong.

"_Mine,_" she whispered fiercely.

Daniel looked over her shoulder and smiled down at JD, who was gazing intently up at his parents with a kind of puzzled interest in his gray-blue newborn eyes. JD kicked his feet and scrunched up his nose in response. Daniel was struck – again – by the inescapable fact that this was a real person looking back at him, not just a version of himself or Jillian in miniature. He gave JD another besotted grin and felt again the rush of love, the undefined _something_ that had changed him from a man and husband into a father as well.

Then Daniel turned to whisper in Jillian's ear. "Always. I thought I had been pretty clear about that. You are the heart of my heart, the center of my world. What's happened, _àirén_?"

She pushed back enough to look up at him. "There are so many of you and none of them are _you. _None of them are mine. They all belong to other Jillians or…or other women or to no one. It's _awful,_ Daniel!" Her hands dropped to rest with palms flat against his chest, touching as much of him as she could. Her forehead came to rest on his collarbone, her hair tickling his jaw and neck.

Other women? No that was impossible. He couldn't imagine belonging to another woman. But he had been so focused on the issue of the wormhole and the mission that he hadn't stopped to consider what it would be like for Jillian, stuck here surrounded by men who looked just like him but weren't.

"We can send them home," he said.

"What?"

"We can send them home. It's a very long story, _wo de ai_, but Sam knows how to do it."

Jillian laughed in a way that sounded as if she wasn't at all surprised. "Of course she does."

"She didn't think of it actually, but she understands how it happened now and how to reverse it. It has something to do with creating a wormhole and blasting a black hole into it, which is no less amazing than anything else she's done if you think about it."

Jillian looked at him and said, cautiously, "So they don't all have to stay?"

"None of them do," he said, certainly, "I doubt any of them will want to."

It was as if a shaft of sunshine parted the clouds, the way her eyes cleared and she smiled again. Daniel nudged her onto the bed and crawled onto it behind her, reaching to scoop up his son and hold him. Jillian curled up next to him and leaned against him.

"Hi, JD," Daniel crooned softly. "Did you take care of Mom while I was gone?"

"He made me smile," Jillian said.

Daniel turned to look at her. He leaned in to place a soft kiss on her cheek. "Good," he said. Jillian wrapped her arms around his bicep, gripping him with such ferocity it was as if Daniel was the only thing anchoring her to the Earth. "You are my whole world_, àirén._ Never doubt that."

"I don't," she answered.

They didn't speak about it any more about that. They spent a very satisfying hour instead playing with their son and living happily in their own sheltered universe.

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	252. Chapter 252

Daniel didn't usually stalk into her lab. He usually appeared in the doorway and hovered, waiting to be invited, watching to make sure she wasn't really lost in thought or deep into a project or just working on something that might blow up any minute so maybe disturbing her right then wasn't worth it.

But this time he came in like a twister, stopped in the middle of the room and jammed his hands into his pockets. Rocking slightly on his heels he said, "Can I talk to you?"

It wasn't a good kind of 'talk to you'. It didn't sound like he was tired, or confused, or needed help with something. It sounded like he was going to talk instead of strangling her. It didn't sound like he was really asking permission either. He had that look on his face that said no matter how she responded he'd just bide his time until he could say what he'd come to say.

This was Daniel Descended. She had noticed the change in him since he had Ascended the second time. He'd returned changed into Daniel Mach Two, with more energy, drive, confidence, and determination than she remembered him having…well, _ever_.

Resigned but irritated, Sam put down the pair of pliers in her hand and took off the safety goggles. "Can I stop you?"

Daniel gave her the exaggerated smirk he had perfected. "Nope."

"Fine," she said, in that way women had of saying it that meant everything was not fine. _Damn_, after all they had just been through she didn't want to fight with Daniel. "So talk. What?"

"Did you temporarily lose your mind?"

"What?" She snapped it.

Daniel looked frustrated, waved his hand in the air with a flick of his wrist, searching the ether for the words. "I was talking to Kvasir and he said he interrupted what looked like a kiss between you and Martouf! Sam, what's going on?"

"So you're gossiping about me with the Asgard now?" Sam could feel her skin flush and knew it was anger and not embarrassment. This was really none of Daniel's business.

"We were talking about the implications of the multi-verse and all the variations coming together and what that meant-"

"With _Kvasir?"_ Sam interrupted, staring. "I thought you missed Thor."

"I do! But Kvasir is a really interesting figure in Norse mythology and I didn't want to lose the chance to talk to him. He's supposed to be the oldest and wisest of the Asgard, responsible for binding Loki-"

"Well we know how _that_ turned out," Sam said without trying to hide the snark in her voice. "So how did you get from that to me almost kissing Martouf?"

"So you did?"

"Daniel!"

"He was talking about the possibilities of establishing relationships in another universe based on relationships previously established. He asked if there had ever been anything between you and Martouf here because of what he thought he interrupted. I said you would never do anything like that and he said that maybe he was mistaken. But the way he said it I could tell he didn't believe that for a moment.

"Look, Sam, I know all this was jarring. Jillian is more rattled than I've ever seen her and she wasn't faced with eighteen variations of herself walking around and living parallel lives. Janet, Martouf. I can understand how off kilter you might have been-"

"It wasn't like that!" Sam said.

"Then how was it? Because I'd really rather think you were just off kilter."

Sam ground her teeth. "Daniel, we can't talk about this here."

"Yes we can, and if I have to I can go look at the security tapes."

"You would _not!"_

"Then explain it to me."

"Give me one good reason why I should discuss this with you at all!"

'Because I love you, _both_ of you and I want you to be happy."

"That's two reasons," Sam sulked.

"Sam," Daniel said, "I'm worried. That's all."

"That's three reasons," she informed him with a little more snap in her voice.

"Sam," Daniel repeated and he had that look in his eyes that said he was going to stand there until he got what he wanted.

She sighed heavily and said, "I cared about Martouf. I couldn't help it, not with Jolinar's memories running around in my head. They were together for one _hundred_ years, Daniel. Can you even imagine being faithful to someone for that long?"

Daniel thought about Jillian and nodded. "Yes I can. But what about you? Don't you want what you have now to be forever?"

Sam felt a small flutter of joy in her stomach at the thought, and at the knowledge that Daniel was fighting her about this. Daniel only fought for the things he truly believed in. There was no way Daniel would let her make some kind of huge mistake in her relationship with Jack.

"Of course I do!" she said, in what she hoped was a placating voice. She made it as sincere as she could because Daniel could see through lies the way Superman saw through walls. "In a perfect world that's what we'll have. But you know that Jolinar left me with the ability to sense the Goa'uld and Jaffa and Tok'ra. It was always _more _somehow with Martouf and Lantash. I can sense Lantash on an entirely different level. I can't help but be drawn to that. Martouf told me that in his universe he and I were together for a long time, yet it didn't work out. I suspect it didn't work out because there was nothing in it for Lantash except the awareness of a mate he could no longer have. The problem, Daniel, is that _I don't know_!"

Daniel nodded again. He and Sam both hated not knowing. She rushed on. "I never got a chance to find out if I loved them for myself or if I was just compelled to love them because of Jolinar.

"And I shot them. With all of Jolinar's memories running around in my head, I killed Martouf and I knew it would probably kill Lantash too. So it was a great relief to me to know that in at least one other reality I didn't have to do that."

"All right, I get that. So how do we get to almost kissing?"

Sam sighed heavily and thought hard about that, went back to the moment and thought it through again.

"He had just been told we couldn't send them home," she began. "Janet was furious. So I figured he hadn't been able to talk to her about it. But anger isn't in Martouf's nature. He was so sad, almost in tears. I wanted to offer him some kind of comfort, something to show that I had cared about him once and I still do. He wanted a kiss and I thought I could but there was something in his eyes that I couldn't process. It was going to mean more to him and at the time I didn't think he would ever be able to go back and I knew I couldn't start that. I couldn't give him that."

They stared at each other, two sets of blue eyes locked; but Sam had been utterly honest with him and she knew it. After a moment Daniel knew it too.

"You need to tell…him." Daniel spoke with conviction and that obstinate tilt to his head and set of his jaw that said he was right and that if she argued with him at all, she was _so_ wrong.

She argued anyway.

"What? Why?"

"He needs to hear it from you before he hears it from someone else or finds out himself."

"How-"

"Security tapes."

Sam muttered a curse under her breath. "All right. Fine."

Daniel understood that they had said everything they could say on base.

"I meant what I said Sam. I really do love you both."

"I know. I'll call him tonight."

"Promise?"

_God, _the man was relentless.

"Yes."

Sam didn't expect any more from Daniel. She had watched him tell false gods and overblown politicians exactly what he thought. He would give his friends no less consideration. But he knew when he had won and he was always a gracious winner. He flashed a smile, bright as sunshine and just as warm, that said all was forgiven and he'd never bring it up again.

"There's pie in the commissary," he said.

"Really?"

"Yep. Join me?"

Sam reached over to her computer and clicked save. She checked the materials in front of her to make sure nothing would explode while she was gone and then stood up.

"Yeah. I'd like that." she said.


	253. Chapter 253

**Sunshine and Shadow is of course Daniel's story as it plays out in my little universe. But every once in a while there is an episode that has a moment with another character that I have to also play out. This is Jack and Sam. This will be cross-posted at Moonlight and Steel for all the people who are not reading here. But I wanted it here as well.**

**(0)**

"I need to talk to you," Sam said, pacing back and forth across her kitchen floor.

"I'm at the Pentagon, Carter."

"Which doesn't change the fact that I need to talk to you."

"Can it wait?"

"I don't want it to. I'm at home, in the kitchen."

Jack hesitated. All right. He had sworn he would never put her on the sidelines, not for anything or anyone. He glanced at the pile of paperwork on the corner of his desk and sighed. There was stuff there, but some of it he could take home and do after Jett went to bed. Another glance at his calendar and he found it mercifully free of appointments.

"I'll be there in a minute. Hold on."

The phone disconnected and Jack pushed the door to the reception room open and hollered, "Pribley!"

"Yes, sir!" his administrative assistant responded instantly. Jack almost shook his head. He wasn't sure why he always got saddled with the overachievers.

"I'm DNA for at least an hour. No calls. Do not open this door."

"Yes, sir!"

Jack closed the door again, stripped out of his tie and riffled through the paperwork on his desk for a moment until he found the last sitrep from the SGC. Oh yeah. All those SGC teams. Janet. Crap, Martouf. All right. Something happened. He'd best go find out what it was.

He shrugged his jacket off and put it on the back of his chair. Then he hit the Asgard beam and an instant later he was standing in Sam's kitchen. He found her by instinct, knowing her presence in the air. She was by the fireplace, looking at a team photo that had been taken the last year that SG1 had been the original four of them. She gave him a weak, tight smile and Jack hesitated. He wanted to close the distance between them instantly, but there was something in the way she was standing – tense and nervous. Jack ached instantly with the need to get close to her again, had to feel her warm body against his, needed to let go the pretense of a professional relationship and love Sam with all his heart and body and soul and anything else she wanted to get her hands on.

"What's wrong?" he asked, still afraid to move.

"I almost did something stupid," she blurted.

His immediate response was to laugh in disbelief and say, "Honey, it you almost did something stupid there is just no hope for the rest of us." This earned him a glare. He held up his hands in surrender. "Tell me what happened? Did you trigger an alien invasion?" After all, in their line of work it was a legitimate question.

She shook her head in frustration. "No."

"Blow up the mountain?"

"Jack!"

He walked around the breakfast bar and held out his arms. "C'mere. I just came two thousand miles, the least you can do is give me a hug."

He met her halfway, crossed the great divide between them and got Sam in his arms. Yeah, that was better. He began rubbing a hand up and down her spine.

"Now what could you have possibly done that was stupid?"

Because her face was now buried in his chest it was hard to hear the muffled answer. "...'most…'issed…Martouf."

He caught 'Martouf' and decided not to dig any further. Sam shook her hair back and looked up with her hands gripping fistfuls of his dress shirt.

"But I didn't. It's just that he was so sad and I was so…shaken up. There was Martouf and Janet and they couldn't go home and we meant something to each other once – Martouf and me I mean not Janet and me – and there were all of Jolinar's memories of Rosha and Martouf. They were together for a hundred years! But then I didn't because it seemed like he…like he…like it was going to mean more to him than to me and I'm with you now and I feel like I need to tell you I'm sorry but nothing happened. I'm really good at the technical stuff and the math but sometimes I'm just really stupid about the important stuff. But nothing happened."

Jack continued to hold her, continued to run his hand up and down her back. Over the years he had heard some completely incomprehensible babble come out of his 21C. He was holding a woman who'd come up with the idea to ride an asteroid through Earth and knew how to make it happen, and he could still hear the entire conversation about blowing up a sun without understanding a word of it. Fortunately over the last year of them being more than commander and 21C he had gotten better at deciphering 'Carter.' He had picked out a couple of important phrases: "but I didn't" and "but nothing happened."

It was all he really needed to hear.

"Carter, it's fine," he said gently.

Sam looked up and blinked. "Really?"

"Yes," he said.

"You're not mad?"

Jack wanted to give her an answer that was completely honest, so he paused before answering. Was he thrilled that something had almost happened between her and an alternate-reality version of her dead snake's lover? No. But in the end there was still that phrase – 'nothing happened.' "I'm not mad," he said with certainty.

"I dragged you away from work," she pointed out.

"I had an hour," he shrugged. "Are you okay now?"

She put her face in his chest again and nodded. It was so vulnerable he hugged her tighter.

"I love you," he said and she gave a choked-up sob. "You hungry?"

"Are you?"

"Working through an emotional crisis always stimulates my appetite; and besides, that hour I had was supposed to be my lunch." To his great relief she laughed. Gently he tucked stray pieces of hair behind her ear. "I really do love you, y'know."

She nodded. "I don't want to mess that up."

"You didn't. You haven't. We're fine. Now what do you have to eat around here?"

"Come on," she said, taking his hand and leading him back to the kitchen. "I can make you a sandwich."

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	254. Chapter 254

**The next chapters will be missing scenes and a tag to Ethon.**

**(0)**

Still, he was facing his wife at the moment – someone he feared in some ways because she was still capable of shattering his heart in a million tiny pieces. But Jillian understood his troubled heart better than he did and he was counting on that. Daniel uncurled the fists on his hips and let his arms hang loose at his sides.

"I'll be back," he assured her. "I'm just going to talk."

_God, _those eyes. They pierced him now, into his heart, straight through to his soul and everything he was. "Like the last time?" she asked, and it hurt. He wouldn't deny that it hurt.

"I won't let that happen again," he said.

He saw the emotions that flickered through her eyes and briefly touched her expression – pain, conflict, a hint of exasperation. There was a glimpse of anger but it was gone in the next blink of an eye, replaced by resignation. Her hands fluttered in her lap for a moment and then stilled. It wasn't encouragement. It wasn't even support. But it _was_ understanding.

He felt incredible guilt over the civil war on Tegalus, no matter who had assured him that war was inevitable. No matter that logic dictated it. Their arrival may have been the catalyst but not the cause. The others had all accepted that. Why couldn't he?

That Tegalus was now under attack by the Ori was a whole other can of guilty worms for Daniel; and from the look in her eyes, Jillian knew that.

"You can't fix the whole galaxy," she said, softly.

"No, but I can certainly put it all in jeopardy, can't I?" Daniel said, with no attempt to hide the bitterness in his tone.

"Didn't Mitchell just remind you of what Jack said about stepping through the 'Gate?" Jillian asked. "If we had never gone there, they would have still gone to war eventually."

Daniel blinked, wondering how she knew that. He didn't get a chance to ask because JD chose that moment to stir and make a small squalling sound. Before Jillian could move Daniel was across the room and picking him up out of the bassinet. Daniel knew that he could seem hard-hearted, that he had a reputation for being cold and ruthless when it was necessary. When it came to his wife and his son he melted like a pat of butter in a hot frying pan.

JD had just recently eaten and had been sleeping peacefully. When he settled down instantly in his father's arms, Daniel suspected that JD had woken up because he had sensed the unusual tension between his parents. Daniel held him a little closer.

"I'll be back," he said again, looking at JD and then up at Jillian.

There was conflict on her face again. She walked to him and leaned over to kiss her son's forehead. Then she stood up on tiptoe and he tipped forward enough so that she could easily touch her lips softly to his.

"I'll hold you to that," she said. Then she sighed. "Will it help at all if I say the word 'squirrelly'?"

Daniel couldn't help the smile that twitched the corners of his mouth. "I promise to watch out for the first sign of one," he said, then leaned forward to kiss her again. "Miss me a little at least?"

Jillian started to make a saucy comment to that but then she saw something in the sea blue eyes behind the reflection in his glasses. There was nothing teasing or light in those eyes. What she saw was venerability and…yearning. His body was tense, waiting.

How many years had he lived without anyone who would miss him – not the scientist, not the boy wonder, not the Golden Boy of archaeology – just for who he was: Daniel, the man? She also knew that he was afraid suddenly that this was the time he had pushed her too far, that he had finally crossed the line over which her anger outweighed her love.

_He needs me almost more than I need him. _The thought made her heart thud with wonder.

Daniel shifted JD onto one arm and put the other arm around her waist, drawing her close. Jillian wrapped her arms around him and put her head on his shoulder. He rubbed his cheek against her hair.

"Every moment," she said with conviction.

Against her, Daniel's body relaxed, and his sigh of contentment was the finest sound she had ever heard.

(0)

She didn't always watch Daniel leave through the 'Gate. Most times she didn't need to. His missions for the last few months had been entirely routine. This was different.

She couldn't control Daniel. She had never tried and she didn't want to really. A man who could be controlled would have bored her to tears years ago. It would be wrong to think that she had the right to influence all the choices Daniel would make after listening to his own conscience. She could try to guide him. But she could never interfere with his journey.

As the last chevron locked, Jillian shifted her eight-week-old son to her shoulder and absently patted his back. Daniel turned to look up at her in the Control Room and offered a smile. She smiled back. He didn't know that she knew he had told SG1 to proceed with destroying the weapon no matter what happened.

'_Tis you must go, _she thought, _and I must bide. But oh, Danny boy, I do love you so…_

Knowing she was doing the right thing by letting him go without a fuss didn't stifle Jillian's urge to give her darling husband a swift kick in his absolutely perfect ass.

(0)

We haven't heard from Daniel in 24 hours," Sam told him.

She watched Jack close his eyes briefly, turning his head away and looking momentarily frustrated. She wanted to touch him but he was only an image on a computer screen.

"So you want to ask me to deploy the Prometheus, again," he said when he looked back.

"Yes."

"I can't send Earth's only means of defense on a personal rescue mission, Carter," he growled.

"That's not it! Sir." She added the honorific quickly. It was getting harder and harder to remember to call him that when they weren't in a secured location. Jack slipped back into their former roles with the thoughtless effort of his Special Forces experience. "Though if we manage to rescue Daniel too, I won't be upset about it. We can't let Rand finish that Ori weapon. You know that. Sir."

He stared back at her and they had a dozen unspoken conversations. When they were done he said, "Prepare SG1 to be beamed up in an hour."

"Yes, sir," she said, smiling bravely, "Thank you, sir."

"Carter?"

"Yes?"

"Be careful."

"I will, sir."

Jack held her eyes with his for a few moments longer and then cut the connection.

Sam sighed. She had gotten what she wanted. But all of this made her feel very small and uncertain. They had gone up against powerful enemies before but this was a classic David-versus-Goliath situation. She could only hope the ending was the same.

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	255. Chapter 255

It had been Daniel who had given the report to Landry about the fate of the mission and the Prometheus. Mitchell had gotten upset with Daniel about that. He felt that since he and Sam were the senior surviving members of the military, one of them should have been the one to give the report. In fact he felt pretty strongly that it should have been him since he was the leader of SG1. It was the first time he had expressed any displeasure in Daniel at all. Since he usually treated the members of the original SG1 with almost slavish devotion, Daniel thought this was a step in the right direction for their future relationship. He had calmed Mitchell by reminding him that a report like that couldn't have waited until Mitchell had been near the Gate; and Landry was less likely to give Daniel a look that promised demotion and latrine duty in Greenland.

He had been delayed on Tegalus far longer than the few hours he had thought he would be gone when this all started. All the while he had worked to hammer out an agreement between Rand and Caledonia to bring the crew of the Prometheus to the Stargate, and all the while he had worked to bring about a shaky peace in the face of the Ori threat, Daniel had been preparing himself for many possible reactions from Jillian. He was prepared to be roasted alive by her red-headed temper. He was prepared for angry tears if she was trying to control herself. Jillian's attitude towards Tegalus ran a close second only to her complete and utter distain for Kelowna.

He was reminded of a saying among the people of PK9-0213: _There are three things a wise man fears: a storm at sea, a moonless night and the anger of his wife._

SG1 was the last of the crew to walk through the 'Gate. The rest of the survivors had gone ahead of them. Daniel was not prepared to find Jillian waiting for him in the 'Gate Room, though it wasn't the first time she had been there at the bottom of the ramp. She was standing off to the side this time, with her arms wrapped around her waist. The stubbornness in him that always rose up in response to the will of others failed him utterly when it came to Jillian. Daniel braced himself mentally and strode forward on shaking legs.

He was prepared for any response – except the one he got. Jillian launched at him and threw her arms around him, holding so hard he thought his ribs were going to shift. She was shaking uncontrollably so he held her almost as tightly.

"Jill-"

"Don't talk!" Her face was pushed up into his chest but he heard that pretty clearly. It was clipped, muffled, angry almost beyond comprehension.

"I-"

"_Don't __**talk**_!" she repeated, leaning back a little to make sure he heard her this time. The words were ground out between clenched teeth. Her breath was coming in seething, short gasps.

Not knowing what else to do, Daniel bent over, pressed his head to hers and nodded. He closed his eyes. He had never seen her in this much pain, furious and relieved all at the same time.

"Don't go there again," she went on. Her voice was tight, fierce; the words dragged over broken glass. "Tegalus. Just don't go there again. Ever."

His jaw worked and he started to reply, then remembered and nodded again. Then he wondered if she would realize that was agreement and shook his head just in case.

"I mean it!" It was an order and he heard it as one.

"I won't," he whispered, risking her wrath for speaking but wanting to assure her.

Jillian's trembling arms loosened a bit and she twisted her fists into the fabric of his shirt over his shoulder blades.

"_God_, Daniel," she gasped. He understood that all of this was because she loved him and he held onto that even as he held onto her. Under the anger and the frustration and the fear there was love, pulsing like a living thing between them. The activity in the Gate Room swirled around them and they ignored it.

"Can I ask something?" he said, timidly, well aware that he just had in fact asked something. Jillian nodded. "Where's JD?" Something hot and wet stained the front of his shirt and he realized she was crying.

Daniel felt a moment of panic but in the next instant she answered, "He's with Scott and Annie at the house."

Relief swamped him. "Can we go there? I really need to see him." Daniel started to run his hands up and down her back. He knew what the tears meant. They meant that Jillian was trying hard not to curse at him in Mandarin. He could feel the tension of her jaw as she clenched it in an attempt to stop crying. She wanted to hit him or break something but she was clinging to him instead, afraid to move, afraid to do more than breathe.

Jillian didn't answer for a long time. Finally she took several deep gasps of air and then finally looked up, shaking her hair back out of her eyes. "Were you born this infuriating?" she asked.

Daniel gave a mild, rueful shake of his head. "I've had years of practice," he answered.

"_Daniel!"_

He drew her close again. "Okay. Okay. Please don't cry."

"Should I curse at you in Mandarin?" Her voice was still quivering with conflicting emotions.

"I was ready for that," he said, holding her tighter to stop the shaking, which wasn't working because he was shaking too. This was going to take a while. "Please take me home?" He asked, fearful that her answer might just be 'no.'

"Don't. Go. To Tegalus. Again. Ever," she said, through her teeth.

"I won't. I promise. I swear it." She looked up at him again, green eyes narrowed. Was it possible she didn't believe him? Firmly he reiterated. "I told you I would never break a promise I made to you."

"And that was a promise?"

Daniel winced inside. "Can we just go home?" He asked again.

The fists gripping his shirt uncurled and her arms relaxed into a looser hold. "If we can stay there for a while," she said.

Daniel knew he would have to find out when Landry expected them to debrief. But considering the magnitude of this, it would wait until everyone was done in the infirmary and had eaten and slept. Daniel half expected Jack to be there too. "Yes," he said, "I would very much like to stay there for a while."

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	256. Chapter 256

Sam had showered in the locker room with most of the female crew of the Prometheus. Everyone was somber and too quiet; nothing at all like the calm and efficient, but always cheerful and professional crew that Sam was used to. They had never been so arrogant as to believe that one space cruiser was a magnificent feat. But the Prometheus had been the first, the flagship, the crowning achievement, and serving on her had been both an honor and a privilege. She had been the first and last of her class, having been replaced almost immediately by the 304.

Now it was like the gentle hush of evening after a peaceful and uneventful day had suddenly been shattered by a crack of thunder. The storm had rained down on them ever since in a steady but persistent drizzle. Sam knew that the downpour of grief was going to come. But at the moment she was surrounded by nothing by tempered sorrow.

At the moment she had only one thought, one need. One desire. All her heart wanted was Jack, with a dozen different needs all at once. Just because she wasn't at his side every day anymore didn't mean that wasn't precisely where she wanted to be.

She had once believed that she longed for him simply because she couldn't have him. But now she did have him and the longing had only increased. Especially now, when she had stared death in the face and emerged once again with all she held dear still determinedly alive. But she could still feel the Prometheus coming apart around her and she knew the images and sounds would be in her dreams the moment she closed her eyes.

She made it through the crowded corridors of the SGC and back to her quarters by resolutely looking straight ahead and not inviting conversation from her comrades-in-arms. There was nothing they could say to her that would make a difference. As soon as she was safely behind her own closed door she reached into the back of her dresser drawer for her encrypted phone. It didn't surprise her that there were three missed calls from Jack. She was just about to hit contacts to call him back when the phone rang.

"Hi," she said instantly.

There was the slightest pause, an indrawn breath and Sam wondered if he could really be as relieved to hear her voice as she was to be able to speak. "Hey. Where are you?"

"My quarters."

"Can I bring you to my office?"

Since the time he had kidnapped her via Asgard beam and she had gotten angry with him, Jack had asked before summarily relocating her.

"Yes!" It sounded desperate and excited and exhausted and she didn't care. All she wanted was to breathe the same air as Jack.

A flash of light and she was two thousand miles away in his very official, very well-appointed Pentagon Office. She started to run straight into his arms, aware that he had the best anti-surveillance the Asgard could provide, but something made her hesitate. She had no idea if she was standing in front Jack...or in front of a superior officer, the Head of Homeworld Security, the man she personally had asked to deploy the ship they had subsequently lost in a major freaking way. There was going to be hell to pay over this. When it hit the fan, the mess would land on Jack's very large, very mahogany desk. Maybe he'd wanted her here just to get a personal report, a heads-up on the situation before the formal hearings began.

Or he could have asked her here because she had been presumed dead for a while. She had been on a ship that had been destroyed. She could very easily have been on it at the very end.

She started shaking. The downpour started and caused a flash flood of emotion that had her insides aching and tears burning her eyes. She wanted to yell at someone and there wasn't anyone.

Jack held out his arms. She watched him step away from his own rank, right there in his austere Pentagon office as he said in a voice gone to gravel, "C'mere."

Her last line of defense folded and suddenly everything usually held inside the uniform and her rank just had to get out. "_Jack,"_ she choked, and the distance between them melted.

_God, _the man could hug. He had a deep chest and long, strong arms that always wrapped around her like he could hold her together and shoulders that had taken both her tears and her fists over their long history together. He was funny and smart and passionate and he believed in her more than she believed in herself.

"I couldn't stop it." Her voice was muffled by his chest. His white dress shirt had two small damp spots from the tears she hadn't been able to stop.

Jack simply said, "Okay."

"There wasn't time. The weapon had been advanced since the plans Jarrod showed us."

"I didn't bring you here for a report, Carter," Jack said, tightening his hold.

She frowned, clutching pathetically at the fabric of his shirt. "You didn't."

"No."

"Then why –"

"Because I almost lost you and we have to get past that before we sit in a Briefing Room and hash all this out."

The blunt honesty of it shocked her. Jack didn't _do _emotions. He felt them, probably more strongly than anyone gave him credit for. He had brought her here only to be in the same place where she was, to assure himself of her continued existence.

For Jack, a voice on the phone would never be enough. He needed to touch. Through the long hard years of denial, touch had always been the enemy of denial. It was the thing that refused to lie, the thing that had always betrayed them. An accidental brush of shoulders, a brief touch of fingers and the connection between them would flare uncontrollably, strike sparks and scorch the walls. But when he touched deliberately, he wasn't the kind of man to touch casually. Every point of contact between them had always had meaning, a rush of energy and awareness.

So this hug…the way he was holding her now was intense, solid, thrumming with relief and gratitude. He turned his face into her tousled and still-damp hair and exhaled as if he had been holding his breath for days. Then he tilted her face up to kiss her. He kissed profoundly, desperately, almost greedily, as if he thought it might be for the last time, as though he had just faced living without her forever and had to drink her all in now.

In his kiss Sam felt all his thoughts. That he was happy she had made it back, that she was alive and safe, that she was home. That he loved her more than his own soul. She kissed back and her lips gave him all the words that neither one of them could say.


	257. Chapter 257

They had come home to find Scott and Annie looking slightly exhausted. They were both glad to see Daniel, hugs and thank yous were exchanged, and then they took their leave of the Jackson household.

JD was happy and content after his day with his 'aunt' and 'uncle' and Jillian was glad to hand him over to Daniel, who was just as eager to take him. When they had eaten and JD had been fed, Daniel had taken him to his room to change him and get him ready for bed, read a story in the big rocker and then put him down – if not for the night, at least for the next six hours or so. JD was getting much better at letting his parents sleep through the night.

Daniel and Jillian had said little to each other. He was still hyper-aware of her refusal to let him speak and he knew the value of silence, even if he chose to ignore it most of the time. But Jillian's temper needed time to cool so he kept conversation with her to a minimum.

Jillian knew Daniel had rocked JD long after the baby had actually fallen asleep. She suspected that it must seem like too great a relief to Daniel, too great a miracle, to be sitting there with JD and not still stuck behind iron bars on a foreign planet awaiting a certain execution. She found him standing in the soft blue glow of the nightlight, leaning over with both arms resting on the railing of the crib and gazing down at his son in quiet contemplation.

She folded her arms, leaned one shoulder against the doorjamb, and watched him, because he was beautiful and she loved him, even when he drove her mad. Her silence encouraged him to speak finally, which he did without turning his head.

"I should tell you that I'm sorry," he began and then waited. When she didn't cut him off he went on slowly, as if he was giving voice to his thoughts just to test them out. "I'm sorry that you had to go through something like that again. I never want that to happen. But I can't be sorry I went to Tegalus. At the time there was no other answer, there was still hope that I could explain it, get through to them. Rand was always our ally. I thought they might listen."

He gave her time to respond, hoping she would. For a long time he thought she might not.

"Your first response to any situation is always to seek a peaceful solution, Daniel. I knew that when I fell in love with you. It was one of the things I fell in love with."

Daniel huffed out a short sound that may have been a laugh. But he didn't look up from staring at his son. "I promised you I wouldn't go to Tegalus again and I won't. Jack is going to be furious anyway. The alliance was always tenuous; it's not like we got something back from them in return for our help. It's not like they really ever even got that much help from us. Jack will cut them off at the knees for destroying the Prometheus. This is an interplanetary incident of mega-consequences and I don't envy Jack for what he'll have to deal with. Even if I could convince you to let me go again, frankly this is one thing I wouldn't want to argue with Jack about." The secret to Jack was always knowing when and how hard to push him and this wouldn't be the time.

Daniel turned to look at Jillian then, his face lit in shades of shadow by the nightlight and the lamp in the hallway behind her. He looked angelic to her and she was struck again by the other-worldliness of Daniel, the something that was a wee bit fey, as her grandmother would have said.

"The thing is," Daniel said, in the same calm, rational voice, "I can't promise you something like this won't happen again."

Jillian straightened up and stepped into the room. She walked up beside him and slipped her arm through his. She was still a little shaky inside and trying to let it go. Daniel had made it home again, like always. But…"Getting yourself killed on a single planet for no reason whatsoever isn't going to help keep JD or me safe, Daniel."

"I know," he answered. "I don't ever set out to get myself killed, y'know? I try to avoid it whenever possible."

Jillian turned and leaned her forehead against his arm. He was warm and he smelled like sandalwood and for a long time she just inhaled the Daniel-ness of him. He was all sculpted muscle, bronze skin, sensual mouth, eyes like tropical seas and tousled honey-colored hair. He had on an old pair of faded jeans and the soft denim was clinging lightly to his hips and followed the lines of his remarkable legs.

Experience suited Daniel. It seemed to Jillian that was because somewhere deep in those sea-blue eyes, there lurked something cool and deadly that he didn't always try to hide anymore. He had a quality of masculine confidence that was a thousand times more potent to Jillian than beautiful good looks. Something about Daniel stopped her heart now like never before.

_Turn him into stars, _Jillian thought, quoting Shakespeare in her mind,_ and form a constellation in his image. His face will make the heavens so beautiful that the world will fall in love with the night and forget about the garish sun._

"I'm glad to hear that," she said at last, smiling a little for the first time in days.

He turned then, putting his hand up to cradle the side of her face, fingers in her loose hair, pressing into her skull. He rested his head against hers.

"Are we all right?" he asked, hesitantly.

Cool, deadly, beautiful, and still a little vulnerable when it came to her. She didn't want this kind of power over him. She'd never have the heart to use it.

"I think so," she said.

He kissed her tenderly, first on the lips and then her cheek, ending on her temple. Jillian sighed, defeated. She had never been angry with him. He had just scared her. She slipped her arm around his waist and he returned the gesture, drawing her close. For a little bit they just gazed down at JD, sleeping on his back with his arms spread in blissful abandon. Jillian reached down and tucked his blanket in more securely.

"What do you think he dreams about?" Daniel mused out loud.

Jillian gave a small laugh and glanced down at the front of her shirt. "Probably the same thing you do, but for different reasons," she answered.

Daniel seemed startled and sheepish, and then a wolfish grin spread over his face. Jillian's return glance had a bit of her usual sauciness in it. Daniel had been nothing but patient and kind, waiting for their sex life to return to whatever was going to constitute normal now. He had gone out of his way never to make her feel as if her body had to service the needs of both her husband and her son. He had, apparently, not considered that Jillian had her own needs.

They had started to get back on track a few days earlier when she had caught him working out, in shorts and a tank top, shining with sweat, muscles rippling. There had been no denying the hot spark in her eyes, like a fiery sunset burning behind a forest.

She knew she was looking at him like that now, caught in spellbound desire. When he turned to look at her again it was with hope and longing. Jillian smiled and took him by the hand. He might be fey but he was _her_ fey and for tonight she would remind him just how much that meant to her.

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	258. Chapter 258

"So," Daniel said, trying to sound casual as he stirred sugar into his second cup of coffee, "what was Jack's mood like when you saw him?"

Sam reached for her Coke and paused to consider carefully. "He was...calm."

The word snapped Daniel's head up and he froze for a moment. Jack sarcastic and acting like a slightly befuddled goofball was normal. Jack laconic and appearing to be bored meant he was absorbing every single nuance of everything that was happening around him. Jack calm was deadly dangerous. It meant there was controlled fury just waiting to come out. Jack's fury was better vented than controlled; vented, it was survivable.

If Jack was coming to the debriefing about Tegalus in that mood, they had better all be on their toes. A wise man wouldn't so much as step on Jack's shadow if his temper had risen to the edge implied by the word 'calm.' Daniel wondered how well Landry knew Jack and how well this debriefing was going to go.

Daniel muttered something under his breath that Sam didn't catch.

Sam sipped at her Coke and ate some french fries. "This scared him, I think," she said. "_I_ scared him."

Daniel nodded. "I scared her, too." It was hard for him to admit and he knew he had scared Jillian before. It was a knife that cut both ways. SG8 had been late or lost or hurt enough times for him to understand what she had gone through. But it seemed like he did this to her more times than not, and she had never decided to die and Ascend once, let alone _twice_. The memories of the times he had believed that he'd lost everything – again – were a vise around his heart. "We've all scared each other. Haven't we?"

"This feels different," Sam said. "I'm not sure why."

Daniel drank his coffee and put the mug back down, staring into the dark liquid. He was used to losing everything. He was used to the feeling of fear that went along with love. He wasn't certain that Sam had truly grasped the implications before now. Being in love with Jack was certainly no new experience for her, but their love had existed without a kiss or single word to give it life. Now there was more to lose.

In his and Jillian's case they'd had months of happiness – true, blissful, unexpected contentment that had not been daunted in the least by sleepless nights and trying to figure out their new routine. Daniel wasn't really shocked that Jillian had reacted badly to Tegalus. The darkness must have seemed particularly shocking after so much time in the sunshine.

Slowly he said, "This is love, I guess: the daily prospect of joy mixed with the fear of pending disaster. When that ship blew…I-"

"I know," Sam cut him off but Daniel forged ahead anyway.

"Thirty-nine people died and any one of them could have been you or Teal'c…or Mitchell."

"Daniel, I know," Sam said, gritting her teeth. When push came to shove she wasn't really any better at discussing deep emotions than Jack was. She watched Daniel pick up his coffee mug with both hands and realized he was shaking; a delayed reaction, crashing from the adrenaline high when all the fighting was done. Sam reached over and gently touched his arm. Sometimes touch was all Daniel needed to kick him back to normal.

But when he looked up and made eye contact with her, his gaze was still shadowed by fear and old grief. A silence fell between them but it wasn't the usual easy breathing space that came when neither of them felt like talking anymore.

They were interrupted by an SF coming to tell them that General O'Neill had arrived on the base and the debriefing would start in ten minutes. Sam thanked and dismissed him while getting up and gathering trays and cups. It was like Jack to arrive unannounced and have people scrambling. He wanted the truth and he was more likely to get it if he had everyone a little off balance from the start.

But it took more than an unexpected arrival to rattle the personnel of the SGC, and certainly SG1. Mitchell might get a little shaken but he wouldn't let it show. Still refusing to let Jack ever get to him, Daniel took a moment to top off his coffee as Sam tossed the remains of their lunch into the garbage and stowed the trays.

"Ready?" Daniel asked.

"As I'll ever be," Sam answered.

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	259. Chapter 259

There was no doubt in Sam's mind which Jack O'Neill was waiting for them in the Briefing Room. She had first met Jack in this room, so it would always have a soft spot in her heart. But the man sitting at the top of the table with his eyes on the stairs was General O'Neill and there was no mistake about that.

SG1 had always survived and triumphed because of a complex dance of power. There was rank and training and an ever-changing pattern of who would be dominant. They had all served and they were good at assessing one another's skills and letting the one most likely to succeed take the lead.

Now, however, no matter the measuring stick that was used, Jack was the dominant one in the room - in the whole damned Stargate Program for that matter. He was wearing his blues, no jacket, but it was an obvious statement of his intent and mindset. Sam suddenly felt underdressed in her gray-blue camo and wondered if Mitchell felt the same.

Teal'c moved easily to the chair on Jack's left. Daniel, still as irreverent of the military as he had ever been, strolled to the chair on Jack's right and dropped into it with a casual indifference that Sam suspected was entirely feigned. No one knew the man seated at the head of the table better than Daniel, not even her.

"Hey, Jack," he said and the words were friendly but there was an edge in his unusually soft voice. He got a sideways, eyebrows-lifted look from Jack in return.

Sam and Mitchell froze at the top of the stairs and came to attention. Sam felt Mitchell's arm twitch as if he was stopping just short of a full salute, which wasn't even required in the situation.

"At ease, Colonels," Jack said, much too softly. "Have a seat."

Sam went to sit by Daniel, leaving the seat beside Teal'c for Mitchell. It was understood that the chair at the other end of the table was for General Landry, who could be seen through his office window talking on the red phone.

They waited in silence while Jack read through Landry's preliminary report. Landry joined them finally and Jack asked, "What did he say?"

As Landry sat down in the remaining chair he said, "We'll talk in my office later."

Jack nodded and put the report off to the side. "All right, Daniel, let's start. What happened when you got to Rand? They had agreed to listen to what you had to say and we tagged you with a locator beacon."

"Yes, well, they lied," Daniel said bitterly. "Turns out lying for your gods is an accepted practice throughout the galaxy." Jack shot him a look that said to cut the sarcasm and Daniel glared at him for a moment but took a breath and went on. "They took everything we had on us, including the beacon. Then they imprisoned us."

Jack looked at Mitchell, who managed not to squirm. "That's when I deployed Prometheus," Jack stated.

"At my request," Sam said, quickly.

"It was my request too," Mitchell said, unwilling to let her take the blame alone. "You just volunteered to do the asking."

"But officially my name will be on the report."

"Carter," Jack said, low and quiet. She subsided. "Go on, Mitchell."

"Yes, sir," Cam said. "When we arrived the first thing we did was attempt to retrieve Dr. Jackson via the beacon but the device itself was the only thing we got. At that point we became aware that the satellite was powering up and Colonel Pendergast ordered it to be fired upon."

"That was when we found out shield technology had been added," Sam added. "The weapon fired on us and we sustained considerable damage. The beam cut right through our Asgard shields, sir. We didn't even have sublight engines anymore, much less hyperdrive."

Jack's eyes settled on her and her alone for the first time since they had all been in the room together. He studied her for a moment, no doubt running through a dozen questions he wanted to ask. Sam steeled herself for all of them, returning his steady gaze. She'd had the good sense to finally pick a man who compelled her to be strong, who wasn't afraid to make enormous demands on her, who didn't doubt her courage or her toughness and in fact reveled in them.

But instead of questions, Jack said, "I'm sure you did everything you could, Carter."

"Yes, sir. I-"

"Not now, Colonel," Jack interrupted. "Put it in your written report."

"Yes, sir."

Landry drew Jack's attention before he could say anything else. "I'm already getting preliminary reports from the personnel who survived the damaged section. You'll have those by tomorrow."

Jack nodded again, once and curtly. There was still a disturbing lack of expression on his face. Mitchell spoke up, "Pendergast knew we had time while the weapon powered up again and he deployed the 302s."

Teal'c's deep rumble added, "That is how Colonel Mitchell and I came to be off the ship at the time of its destruction. But we were unable to damage the weapon enough to prevent it from firing at the Prometheus again. We could hear Colonel Pendergast asking for terms of surrender."

"He was trying to give me time to restore the ship's sublight engines, sir," Sam said, her voice carefully neutral. "When I couldn't do it in the time I had, he ordered the evacuation, with a rendezvous point in Caledonian territory. That was when the weapon fired for the third time and the ship was destroyed."

There was silence for a moment and then Jack looked at Daniel again. "Did you know about any of this?"

"Jarrod and I were in the Rand Command Center when Minister Nadal ordered the ship destroyed." All trace of indifference had left Daniel's tone and body language. He was seething inside and everyone knew it.

They continued, back and forth, each giving his or her recollections of the events, answering Jack's questions with professional stoicism. They were riding the undercurrents. The three original members of SG1 recognized them easily and Mitchell had been military long enough – and was just intimidated enough by O'Neill – to pick up on them quickly. They were all smart enough to know that none of them had really done anything of which Jack would disapprove. But they had all been involved in the massive clusterfuck that had been their last mission and they were reporting to the man who was going to have to talk to President Hayes about it.

When they were done there was a long silence. Jack leaned back in the chair and seemed focused inward for a while. No one dared to speak, not even Daniel. Then Jack stood up, gathering some papers into the folder in front of him. Landry, Mitchell, Carter and Teal'c stood up with him. Daniel stood more slowly and then walked behind Jack to get coffee.

_Dammit, Daniel, _Sam thought, _do __**not **__prick him right now or we all might wind up bleeding._

But then she saw that Daniel's hands were shaking as he poured coffee from the green carafe. He wasn't being disrespectful. He was reliving those moments when he'd thought they were all lost. Surely Jack knew Daniel well enough to realize that.

When Jack turned around to look at Daniel, Sam couldn't see his expression but she hoped there was some concern in it, some flicker of emotion. Daniel drank with both hands around the cup, self-medicating with his drug of choice, and then said, "You want me to come with you? To talk to Hayes, I mean."

After a pause, Jack shook his head. "No. Appreciate the offer though."

"Okay," Daniel said, and drank again.

Jack turned back to the rest of them. "Do you need anything else, Jack?" Landry asked.

"Not at the moment. I can hold off the President for a few more days. He's proven to be pretty reasonable. He'll understand the need to get all the reports first. I'll put Davis on arranging the memorial service."

Landry gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

"Is there anything else you want from us, sir?" Sam asked.

Jack looked at her with the full impact of his penetrating, fathomless eyes.

"I'll let you know," he said. Then he and General Landry disappeared into the office.

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[Type text]


	260. Chapter 260

**Prelude to Off The Grid, with some notes about the timeframe at the bottom.**

**(0)**

Jillian was standing by the bed, packing her laptop for the trip home. She glanced up as Daniel came out of the small bathroom in their quarters and then swiftly looked down again, biting her lip. He had to know what he did to her in the leather garb. She'd made it pretty clear to him months ago when they had still been trying to find a way to separate him from Vala. She wished he had allowed more time before his scheduled Gate departure. Then again, she knew how hard the leather pants were to get in and out of and Daniel wouldn't want to go through that again.

Then again, it's not like the pants would have to come all the way off. They certainly hadn't the last time. The memory caused an uncontrolled shiver through Jillian. Daniel was sexy no matter what he wore and she refused to let her mind go to what he looked like naked, not right now when she was on her way home to her son and he was heading off-world to find out why there was an addictive space corn hitting the interplanetary market.

Hoping she had banked the hunger in her eyes Jillian looked up. The hunger flared again instantly.

"_Daniel_," she choked out.

His smile was slightly self-mocking but she could tell he was pleased and just slightly embarrassed by her reaction. He tugged down on one pant leg and ducked his head shyly, as if the look in her eyes had caused an answering jolt in his bloodstream. Jillian licked her lips and swept him up and down with a long appreciative look. She wasn't sure about objectifying Daniel but if he was going to spend all those hours in the gym and come out looking like that… Well then he better damned well get used to sometimes being objectified by the wife who adored him.

"I don't think we have time," Daniel said, with soft regret.

Good lord, he was sexy when he shy and pouting and thwarted. The sulky look on his face only fueled Jillian's desire.

"We could just kiss," she suggested hopefully. "We always kiss before you go on a mission."

"Kissing is good," Daniel replied.

"I really do love to kiss you," Jillian replied as her breathing got a little shallow.

"I really do love kissing you, too," he acknowledged.

Still neither of them moved. Even to kiss right now would take serious control. She wanted to run her hands over the bare muscles on his arms. His skin was ridiculously smooth, extraordinary in the smooth way it shaped over his sculpted muscles. She wanted to feel those powerful thighs through the supple leather.

There was enough electricity between them at the moment to power the Stargate.

"You're going home?" Daniel asked, as if he was just desperately trying to change the subject.

Jillian nodded, swallowed the dryness in her throat and then spoke, "Yeah. Dad just called a little bit ago. He's feeding JD and then he's going to make some dinner for us. JD should be just about ready for a nap."

Alexander North had retired from his second job as an ambassador for the SGC when JD was two months old. Since then he had joyfully devoted himself to his third career – as JD's grandfather and caregiver when Daniel and Jillian were at work. Daniel was eternally grateful to his father-in-law. At least Alexander would understand what 'tied up at work' could actually mean.

Then he just couldn't stand it anymore. Daniel crossed the space between them and turned Jillian around to take her into his arms. As shiver of anticipation went through her and his pulse pounded in response.

"You'll be careful?" she asked in a voice that was low and breathy.

"Of course," he answered. "We're just going to check out some space corn. Jack's got his hands full with the crap in Atlantis right now. The least the SGC can do is take on the Lucian Alliance."

"You think they're behind this."

"Mitchell does."

"And you trust Cam's judgment here?"

Daniel shrugged. "It's a logical conclusion. I can't see any problems with the idea. Addictive space corn isn't the Ori's style. But getting whole populations hooked on a drug and cornering the market on that drug? Mitchell is right. That sounds more like the Lucian Alliance."

The Alliance annoyed the hell out of Daniel and he would like nothing better than to just squash them and move on. They didn't have time for this kind of distraction from the Ori.

"And you trust Cam to lead this undercover operation?"

"Come on, Jillian," Daniel said, linking his fingers at her lower back. She was trying very hard not to press forward, put her hips against his and grind. Daniel could feel her resistance. At any other time he would have enjoyed breaking down that resistance. "Cam has proven himself to us, hasn't he? He saved my life on Arde."

"And he's put it at risk a few times, too," Jillian pointed out. "He's young, inexperienced…."

"So was I once," Daniel pointed out.

"And how many times did you die?" Jillian countered.

Daniel fell silent. There wasn't much he could say to that. Even Jack had managed to get them all killed on Gala back in the early days of their explorations. If not for the Nox…Daniel tried not to sigh. Instead he bent over and kissed her again. Her hands found his back, fingers digging into the long column of his spine, pressing the leather against his skin in a long, sensual stroke.

"_Jillian_," he sighed into her ear, muscles burning as he fought to control his instinct to take what was being freely offered to him.

"_Dan_," she whispered back, because it was her name for him that was more unique than all the endearments in all the languages she knew. Dan. Danny. Those were the things only his family had ever called him. Those were the things no one else dared to call him, nor were they ever invited to.

He knew the importance of family. He knew what it meant for her to call him that and for him to allow it.

"I promise to try my best not to let Cam get us killed, okay?" he said, stroking her hair. "We were all young and experienced once. Well, except for Teal'c and even he was seriously out of his element once upon a time. When I get back I'll wear this outfit for you. Find an evening when your Dad or Scotty and Annie can watch JD so we can have some serious 'us' time?"

The thought made her flush the color of wild peaches. But she nodded. "Rusty and his wife offered to watch him too."

"I think they have their hands full with the boys, don't they?" Daniel said with a smile.

"Rusty said that if he can borrow JD it will stop Nancy from saying she wants another baby," Jillian answered.

Daniel laughed and wrapped himself closer around her. He still wanted her but the arousal had settled into something sweetly aching, something he could control at least.

"Okay," she said. "I'm not going anywhere for a few days. So I'll wait for you at home?"

Daniel's head dipped closer, lips hovering over hers, and said, "I'd love that." Then he covered her mouth with his and kissed her carefully, because he was really truly not trying to start something he couldn't finish. He played with her mouth, teasing, sharing small, nibbling kisses. In spite of his intention Jillian whimpered a little so Daniel stopped.

Stopping didn't help. It just made her moan his name in a way that never failed to excite him. His name from her lips, in her bedroom voice…damn, he wanted them to have more time right now.

"I have to go," he said, with more regret than he had ever felt.

"Me too," she said in the same way. "I haven't seen JD in eight hours."

Daniel smiled a little. It seemed there was a limited amount of time that Jillian could go without holding their son. He kissed her again, sweetly. "Hug him for me," he said. "Tightly."

Returning the kiss, Jillian, "Absolutely."

(0)

**A/N: Ethon takes place simultaneously with Allies(SGA). Then there is a 6 month gap before No Man's Land and Misbegotten (SGA), because it was a season-ending cliffhanger. Obviously in 'real time' that doesn't work. So I have chosen to run the events of those three SGA episodes at the same time as Off the Grid and put all of that in August of 2006.**

**This chapter of Sunshine and Shadow also follows several chapters of Moonlight and Steel and refers to events in those chapters. For SG1's adventures on Arde, see chapters 87 to 102 in Moonlight and Steel**


	261. Chapter 261

**Tag to Off the Grid. SG1 talks before the scene in which Emerson brings them the report from SGC about the disappearing Stargates. Because this is Sunshine and Shadow, it's mostly about Daniel, with a little Sam thrown in.**

**(0)**

"Does your cheek hurt that badly?" Sam looked anxiously at Daniel, sitting across the table from her. "It's not broken, is it?"

Sam had noticed that Cam's eye pack was lying forgotten on the table by his elbow. Daniel, however, was paying less attention to his coffee than to his injury. He had been fussing with the placement of the ice pack against his butterfly-stitched cheek. The scowl on his face was more forbidding than usual.

"No," Daniel said. Then he explained dryly, "It's not broken. I just want it to be as healed as possible before my wife sees me."

Sam winced a little. It did seem as if they had all gotten hurt or nearly killed the last few times they had gone through the Stargate. The broken arm Daniel had gotten on Arde had only just recently healed. Considering how hard he had been backhanded, it was doubtful Daniel was going to get out of this without a black eye.

That went for Sam too, for that matter. Jack's reaction to her being beaten by allies of the Lucian Alliance did not bear thinking about.

They had all been beaten. Sam knew that the three male members of her team had been able to bear it stoically when they had been hit. But she'd felt all three of them go tense with testosterone-fueled rage when Worrell's attention had fallen on her.

It was horribly sexist-all three of them would admit that, except maybe Teal'c-but it was the truth. Jack would want Worrell and his men found and if he got to them first there would be hell to pay. Jack knew the danger of gaining a reputation for being too easy. SG-1's reputation had been won not only by their exploits, but by how well Jack had managed to make sure those exploits were exaggerated with each retelling. Their Jaffa allies, among others, had helped him with that.

If Sam was sporting a black eye the next time Jack saw her, it would become personal. That idea was daunting. She wasn't really hurt that badly. When it came to interrogation techniques Worrell had a lot to learn. But they had been missing and out of communication for two days so Jack would already not be inclined to generosity.

Sam wondered if Jillian still became frantic when Daniel was missing, or if there was now some hard core inside of her that helped her remain calm. She'd do it now for the baby's sake anyway, if not her own.

But Daniel was right. The people who loved them were not going to be pleased. She at least had the advantage of not having to see Jack right away, giving her more time to heal. Of course he could always just demand her medical file, which was supposed to be confidential, but he was General O'Neill so she was pretty sure the rules about confidentiality wouldn't apply.

"She loves you, Daniel," Sam assured him.

"I know. I just wish I could find a way to stop scaring the shit out of her all the time."

"You could quit," Sam said with a silly smirk, because she knew he never would. None of them would. It wasn't in their blood.

To her surprise, Daniel looked away and seemed to be considering it.

"Jackson?" Cam spoke up, anxiously.

Daniel sighed, waved a dismissive hand in the air and arranged the ice pack against his cheekbone. "I'm not going anywhere, Mitchell," he said. But he sounded grumpy and tired.

Sam glanced at Mitchell, who still looked worried.

"Daniel," Sam said, in one more attempt to get through to their stubborn and often-blind colleague. "Do you love her?"

"More than anything," Daniel said, with a solar flare in his eyes that indicated he resented the question.

"Could she ever do anything to make you stop loving her?"

"No!"

Mitchell shot Sam a look that asked her if she knew how close she was getting to being frozen out of the conversation. Sam ignored him. Well okay, the woman didn't flinch from Goa'uld, Replicators or the Lucian Alliance, and she'd known Jackson a long time. Still, Cam looked over at Jackson and was pretty sure he wouldn't have kept asking questions of a man with that much aggressive edge flashing light blue warning lights. It didn't help that Teal'c had gotten that slumberous, predatory look in his eyes that meant he was on the alert for trouble.

"That's how I feel about…about him too," she went on, "and that is sacred. It's special and wonderful and that's how Jillian feels about you!"

Cam watched Jackson's eyes flicker back to his coffee cup and then to the ice pack on the table. Then he looked up and briefly around the group as if to see who else wanted to try giving him advice about his wife. No one else took him up on the challenge. Cam stayed on the alert however. This was his team and keeping it together was his job. He wasn't going to label this thing between Sam and Daniel an argument even if it was kind of walking and talking like one. But it was a discussion that had wedged into Daniel's personal space and he was being edgy about it, even with Sam, who knew him so well.

"Your point?" Daniel asked, frigidly.

Boldly, Sam leaned forward. "Don't ever cheapen the way she feels about you by thinking that anything could make her stop loving you. It's more powerful than that. It's always been more powerful than the stupid crap that happens to us, to you, and it always will be. You aren't the one who sits with her when you're missing. You weren't the one who comforted her when you were…Ascended. If she hasn't made it crystal-clear to you by now then it's time you pulled your head out of your ass and figured it out."

Daniel's eyes went back to the table. Sam said, "All she's going to care about is that you're home. She's not going to care about a few butterfly stitches.'

"Are you sure?" Daniel's voice was summer-soft.

"The times you've gotten her back, even when she's been hurt, what did you care about?" Sam asked, then rolled her eyes, "Besides enacting slow and excruciating revenge against whoever hurt her?"

"Making her feel loved," Daniel answered instantly.

Sam nodded. Daniel considered that. Teal'c relaxed a little. Mitchell watched Jackson carefully and weighed whether to say anything or not. But what the hell, risk was a way of life for them.

"Sounds like you could go home to some serious TLC if you play this right, Jackson," Cam said quietly.

Daniel gave him one of those looks – one that was part uncertainty, part consideration. It was obvious, Cam thought, that Daniel still didn't quite know what to make of him, any more than Cam did of Daniel.

One thing Cam had figured out though. Daniel never saw the glass as half-full or half-empty. Daniel saw it as being potentially empty no matter how much liquid was in it. In the case of his marriage he seemed to already be searching for the cracks and weak spots that might lead to disaster. So he could fix them before they were a problem.

Mitchell held his breath waiting to see how Jackson would respond to that particular observation of his, Jackson had a tongue sharper than his Aunt Emma's meat carver and Cam didn't like setting himself up to get cut by it.

"I suppose," Daniel said, cautiously; and then, as if some bright thought had just occurred to him, he said, "And I can always just tell her that us getting captured was all your fault."

"What?" Cam asked, sharply.

"He has a point," Sam said. "If we hadn't had to wait so long for you and then rescue you from Worrell, we would have made the Gate long before it vanished."

"Indeed," Teal'c said, raising his eyebrow in a way that dared Cam to disagree.

A dozen protests rose and died unspoken. Instead he said, "Well, if you lay this on me, just give me a heads-up so I can find a very dark place to hide until she cools off."

It had been another risk, and Daniel didn't exactly smile, but he relaxed and the ice in his eyes thawed. Mitchell wanted to jump up and pump his fist in the air and yell "Yes!" just for getting it right. But he kept that inside and allowed himself to relax too. Sometimes taking the blame was what the team leader did.

Jackson went back to icing his cheek and they were prevented a few minutes later from saying anything else when Emerson came in with reports for them to read.

But even as he opened his and started finding out what had happened to the Stargates, Cam had one question still nagging at him and it was one he knew he couldn't ask.

Just who had Sam meant when she'd said "That's how I feel about…about him, too"? Him who?

And how exactly could Cam find out without ruining one of his oldest friendships?

(0)


	262. Chapter 262

**Off the Grid - after the credits rolled.**

**(0)**

"Hey, Sam, wait up!" Mitchell called. He caught her on the way to the shower and it didn't look like she was really very happy about him getting between her and some clean, hot water.

But her smile was game. "Yeah, Cam? Something wrong?"

"I hope not," Cam said, jogging up to her. "When he was leaving the Gate Room Jackson said he was going to find a doctor. I checked the infirmary to see how he was but he never made it. Have you seen him?"

Sam shifted her weight and got a look of intense concentration on her face. "Daniel said that?"

"Yes."

"Daniel hates having to be in the infirmary. Even worried about his bruise, he wouldn't go there first."

"Then where is he?"

"Well where do you think he is? Did you check to see if Jillian is signed in?"

"She didn't meet him in the Gate Room and she must have heard the off-world activation alert. I assumed she wasn't here."

"Cam," Sam said with infinite patience, "Jillian thought we were coming home on the Odyssey. She wouldn't have checked out an unscheduled activation."

"Oh, yeah," Cam said, considering that.

Sam continued to mull over the problem. "When he said that, how did he sound? Annoyed?"

"No."

"Satisfied?"

Cam blinked. "Satisfied?"

"Yeah, like this was a doctor he really wanted to find?"

"Kind of."

"Then I suspect he wasn't talking about the infirmary."

"So the doctor he was going to see..." Cam began.

"Is probably a doctor of archaeology," Sam finished for him. "His favorite doctor of archaeology I imagine. And Cam, if that's where he is, you don't want to disturb him."

(0)

The sign-in log told Daniel that his wife was indeed on the base and since she had not only signed in but written "and baby"next to her name, he had been delighted to know that his entire family was here somewhere. He had never questioned the blind eye Landry turned to the infrequent times Jillian still brought the baby to work with her. There were certain advantages to being Dr. Daniel Jackson, the man who had unlocked the secrets of the Stargate. Apparently being able to bring his son to work was one of them.

He briefly considered heading for the shower first, but his need to see them was like his need to breathe – imperative to life itself.

He swiped his security card in the door to his quarters and pushed the door open. The startled look on her face made it worth it. Jillian was sitting on the bed, cross-legged, with pictures of temple walls spread out in front of her. But it took her about a millisecond to recover, drop her pencil and scramble across the bed towards him.

"Daniel!? Daniel! Oh my god! Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

He couldn't speak for a moment, not with the breath knocked out of him from the sheer joy of being with her again. He pulled her into his arms, putting one hand on the back of her head to lace his fingers in her hair.

"We found all the missing Stargates," he answered, face pressed in her hair. "Sam used one of them to send us home." It had been tricky. Only Sam could have pulled it off. Well, Sam had done the technology part; he had figured out the seventh chevron. It was mostly the truth and he could tell her the rest of it later. Besides, he couldn't talk anymore because Jillian was kissing him and it didn't seem like she was going to stop doing that anytime soon and that was just fine with Daniel.

The sound of their son expressing his extreme displeasure at being left out of the reunion broke them apart. Jillian looked fondly over her shoulder and Daniel looked down with unabashed adoration. JD was in his pack-n-play. He had rolled over on his tummy and was trying to do a push-up, arms straight, looking up at his parents and hollering about the exclusion.

Daniel laughed. After the last few days, being with his wife and son was making him stupidly happy. He kissed Jillian, squeezed her tightly, and then let go so that he could pick JD up.

"Ven aquí," he murmured quietly in Spanish. At six months of age, JD looked even more like Daniel than he had at birth. But his eyes were no longer blue-gray. They were turning green with little gold flecks. Daniel couldn't have been more delighted. "Me extrañaste? Te extrañé tanto. Te comportas para la mamá?"

Jillian came up beside him and slipped her arm through his. Daniel had been speaking Spanish to JD since he had been a few hours old. It had been his first second language, picked up from the workers at the historical site ofHueyatlaco. He had spent the first two years of his life at the dig site, while his mother worked on her doctorate. He supposed, compared to that, growing up with parents who worked buried under Cheyenne Mountain wasn't so odd.

"He was an angel," Jillian said. "But he gets fussy when he doesn't see you for a while." She reached up and stopped just short of touching Daniel's cheek. "What happened?"

"Oh, I ran into the back of someone's hand a couple of times," Daniel said, lightly. JD was babbling happily. "How do you know he's fussy because he misses me? Maybe he's just fussy."

"No, it's a very specific cry. He only does it when you're not around."

"Like his cry for you?"

"His hungry cry?"

"No, there's one for you," Daniel said. "And he says 'mama' pretty clearly."

Jillian smiled happily. "Yeah, he does. And he says 'dah-dah' too."

JD's babbling got more insistent. He was trying to pull things off Daniel's tac-vest, nearly succeeding in getting the SGC patch off his arm until the wire from his radio became a new obsession.

"No," Daniel said, taking it away, "Eso no."

JD howled his disagreement over being denied a new plaything.

Jillian held out her arms for her son. "Here. Give him to me and go change. Do you want to go home?" JD lurched forward, reaching for her and saying "Mamamamama" over and over. Daniel helped JD tumble into his mother's embrace.

"Yeah," Daniel said, "I do. What time is it anyway?"

"It's 1pm, or just after. You're wearing a watch." Jillian soothed JD's grumpiness over the radio and settled him back in the pack-n-play, distracting him with his favorite busy toy.

"It's set to Odyssey time."

"Of course," Jillian rolled her eyes, standing up and turning to face him.

"Umm, I do have some bad news," Daniel said, slowly.

"What?" Jillian asked, green eyes flaring in alarm.

"The, umm, leather pants? They're still on the Odyssey."

Her flared eyes narrowed to slits. "The Odyssey isn't due for another week."

"I know."

"You said you'd wear them for me when you got back-the whole outfit, in fact, including that sexy vest." She took a step towards him, head tucked, eyes on his. There was a sassy swish to her hips that dried his throat.

"Well, I can get them just as soon as the Odyssey is in orbit again." Without being aware of it, Daniel braced his feet, set his shoulders back in an unconsciously masculine display.

"You could requisition another set." Her lips were now set in a sultry smile.

"And say what on the form about why I need them?" He was meeting her sexy look with one of his own.

"That they turn your wife into a boneless pile of molten desire?"

Daniel reached out with one arm and caught her around the waist, drawing her close. In a low, smoky whisper he said, "Shhh. Not in front of the baby."

Jillian laughed, arched her back over his arm and pressed her hips forward. Her hands ran appreciatively over his tac-vest and then down his arms, caressing him through the fabric. "You know this Black Ops thing also makes me want to drag you into bed and ravish you."

Daniel's eyebrows went up. "Ravish? We're talking about molten desire and ravishing now?"

She was so incredible, so lovely. Daniel was laughing, eyes dancing behind his glasses. But his body was remembering how fiercely she'd love him, the passion and grace; the feminine mastery she had over him.

"We can go home and get JD to sleep and do more than talk." Her voice was hot, silky with promise.

Daniel lowered his head. "I suspect," he said, just before sealing his mouth over hers, "That we won't do much talking at all."

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	263. Chapter 263

On the way home Daniel had suddenly realized he was starving, and driven them to Taste of Philly. He had spent enough time in New York City to know what an actual East-Coast hoagie should taste like, and he swore this place was as close as it came. It was one of the few places that Jillian let him order for her without question, since he always seemed to know best.

They'd eaten hoagies and washed them down with Cokes and taken turns feeding JD mashed peaches and cereal. Daniel held JD in his lap and let him play with the silverware and the placemats and his keys and finally his watch, until JD started chewing on it. Jillian had watched them in rapt, spellbound wonder, uncertain if she would ever get over watching them together.

Conversation was light, mostly centering on the continued excavation of the Garden ruins at the Gamma site. Jillian tried hard not to look at Daniel's cheek or at the slowly darkening bruise around his eye. She knew what they did for a living, the risks they took; and she knew Daniel hated being fussed over so she didn't fuss.

Well, he didn't like overt fussing. But Jillian knew what to do when they got home. She knew how to get him to relax and maybe even tell her exactly what had happened.

She drove them home while Daniel kept up a running dialogue of babble and fascinated Spanish in an attempt to keep JD awake until they got there. It didn't quite work and JD was dozing as they pulled into the garage. He woke up enough for Jillian to nurse him while Daniel got a shower.

She was sitting on the bed with their son when Daniel came out, wearing sweats even though it was the end of August. At least, Jillian thought, he was wearing a clingy t-shirt so she could continue to admire his stunning chest, shoulders and arms. She had changed into a t-shirt and shorts, and sat barefoot and cross-legged on the bed. JD was beside her, practicing his rolling over and fussing to get his parents' attention so they could be astonished by his new skills.

Daniel dropped onto the bed, onto his back with his head on Jillian's lap, scattering the papers she had been pulling out of her backpack.

"Daniel! Those are the latest notes from the Gamma site."

"I don't care," he said, scooping JD up and lifting him over his head, bench pressing him and making faces at him while lowering him, pretending to gasp before lifting him up again. JD gurgled in delight. "You've worked hard enough. Put it away and be with me and your son for a while."

"I just fed him," Jillian pointed out. "He's going to throw up on you."

"He would never throw up on me!" Daniel said, sounding shocked, even though it had happened dozens of times in the last six months. "Nunca haría eso. Verdad, hijo mío?"

"Dah!" JD answered, grinning toothlessly.

"Dad," Daniel said but that only sent JD off on another endless spiel of jabbering with Daniel interjecting the occasional amazed sound of appreciation and understanding.

Jillian watched them and tried not to let her eyes linger too long on his injuries. As close as they were, as united as they were, there was still a lot they didn't talk about. Daniel guarded his team and their secrets and he protected them even from her. There were things that happened with SG1 that were sacred and she knew that. There were things that happened with SG8 that were sacred and Daniel understood that. It was the things they all knew about each other - the joys, the triumphs, the guilt, the grief and the way they stood up and kept going, and all the reasons why they did.

Jillian thought of it in scientific terms – covalence, the way certain things were drawn to other things – while accepting that human beings were far more complicated than gravity and chemistry. There was no way to explain how the members of SG1 continued to orbit around each other even now. Daniel was complicated. They were all complicated. Jack, the sun around which they had all orbited for so long, was too far away. His relationship with Sam had shifted the entire paradigm, though not for the worse. Jillian hoped it was for the better.

But now there was a new planet caught in the pull of SG1's little solar system. Or maybe Mitchell was more like a comet, sailing into their space and messing with their gravity, not quite caught up enough in the pull to be completely part of it yet, But messing with things nonetheless.

It was Mitchell's job to make sure Daniel didn't come home with marks like that on his face. Daniel _might_ be trying to hide the fact that he'd gotten himself into a mess of trouble this time. But the situation wasn't the kind of situation that usually got Daniel in trouble, and he usually told her when he was the one who had screwed up. Jillian wasn't sensing that he wanted to talk about it at all. That told her he was covering for another member of his team and logic dictated that it was probably Mitchell.

"Did Sam also run into the back of someone's hand?" Jillian asked.

It startled Daniel. He got that look on his face that was shrewd acknowledgement of Jillian's intelligence, concern and a weak attempt to seem unconcerned. "Yes," he said, slowly. JD slapped his hands on Daniel's chest and went on another long discourse about life in general. "Si?" Daniel asked him, "En serio?"

"Is she all right?"

"Yes. We all are, _mi amor._ All things considered, we've all been through a lot worse. We're home. We're fine. We have all the Stargates. JD, decirle a mama que no se preocupe."

"I can't help but worry," Jillian said. But she let go of thinking about Mitchell. If Sam was also hurt, Jack would get to see the official report and nothing Jillian could ever say to Cam would make as much impact as having his ass chewed by General Jack O'Neill. She changed the subject. "You talk to JD like you know what he's saying."

"I do know what he's saying!" Daniel laughed.

"Really?"

Daniel brought JD down to snuggle on his chest and then stared up at his wife adoringly. "He's telling me that you're the best mom in the world and I don't show my appreciation of you nearly enough."

Jillian laughed. "He is?"

"Oh yes," Daniel said, "and he's right." He kept one hand on JD's back to keep him from toppling off. The other hand grasped Jillian's and squeezed, hard. Jillian felt the squeeze less with her hand than with her heart – all the relief and love, frustration and pain and asking for forgiveness that Daniel hadn't expressed in words yet. It was all concentrated in that one intense touch.

She bent over and pressed her lips to his. "I love you," she said, because, after all, that was the only thing that would ever matter.

Daniel closed his eyes when they kissed. He didn't open them when they parted. Jillian knew that Daniel often had a hard time going from 'running for your life' to 'home and safe.' But when he finally stopped moving the crash could be spectacular. He was gently patting JD's back and the baby's eyes were also drifting closed in the long blinks that meant he was going to take his nap in earnest.

The plan had been to put the baby to bed and spend an afternoon of physical delight in each other's arms. From the way Daniel's chest was starting to rise and fall, Jillian knew that plan was about to change. She continued to stroke through his hair in a slow rhythm. JD fell asleep almost at once. Daniel took another couple of minutes.

They looked much too precious and beloved to Jillian for her to mind the change in plans. There would be time after dinner, after JD was in his crib for the night, for her to make love to her husband – and she fully intended to be the one in charge that night. In the meantime, she wasn't going to move either one of them. So she reached under her pillow for the book Daniel had given her just because he had seen it in the store and knew she had been reading the series since the early 1980s.

He was right. She had been working too hard lately, trying to prove she could be a wife and a mother and a fully-functioning member of the SGC. Right now, it seemed that they were going to spend a late-summer afternoon reading and sleeping. Jillian decided she didn't care. They had earned it.

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	264. Chapter 264

**The Scourg**e, **missing scenes.**

**(0)**

"Jackson," Mitchell said, shrewdly, "I know you're pissed off about the Ancient ruins, but they really will be there tomorrow. And I get that it chaps your hide to be escorting anyone from the IOA, much less all of them. But I can't shake the feeling that you aren't all that upset about going to the Gamma site."

Eyes focused straight ahead with iron determination and a jaw set with displeasure, Daniel said, "Oh, yeah, Mitchell? What makes you think that?"

"Well, I happen to know that your wife is at the Gamma site, checking out something that's being carbon-dated. So you might be royally steamed about having our mission scrubbed for babysitting duty. But you are probably not at all unhappy about seeing your wife and checking up on this carbon dating thingy."

Daniel shot him a sideways glance. "Carbon dating thingy?"

"Not the technical term?" Mitchell queried innocently.

Daniel didn't deign to answer. He changed the subject instead. "Just why do you know where my wife is?"

"One very simple reason," Mitchell replied, turning the corner that would take them to the Gate Room. "If she ain't happy, you ain't happy; and when you ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

Daniel frowned a little about that but didn't say anymore. From the corner of his eye, Mitchell continued to study him cautiously. The guy really seemed to not entirely understand the power and influence he had at the SGC. A vacuum had been created by Jack O'Neill's departure and even Mitchell knew that nature abhorred a vacuum. Daniel had been the natural choice. Mitchell just wasn't sure if Daniel knew it yet; and if he did know it, what was he prepared to do about it?

(0)

Later, at the Gamma Site

He never got to sneak up on her at home. Jillian knew his footsteps far too well. But either she hadn't been able to hear him coming to the room that served as the Archaeology Lab or she just hadn't been listening – she wasn't expecting Daniel to be at the Gamma Site, after all.

He couldn't completely sneak up on her, of course. The moment his form darkened the doorway she looked up.

"Daniel!" she gasped, and then couldn't say another word as surprise made speech impossible.

Daniel's long stride swallowed the small distance between them and he leaned over to steal a kiss from her startled lips. There was a second's hesitation and then she kissed him back, mouth lingering on his. Daniel's eyes were closed, pulling her in with his other senses. When he finally leaned back a little and looked down into her eyes, his were shining with satisfaction. "Sneak attack," he whispered.

Jillian reached up to wrap her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. There was no surprise that could be more magical than how much in love they were, still, after everything.

"Am I dreaming?" she asked finally, though her smile said she knew better.

"No," Daniel replied, returning her smile with one of great sweetness.

"What are you doing here, and why are you armed to the teeth? Are we expecting some kind of trouble?"

Daniel straightened up and sighed with renewed aggravation. "No. Our original mission was scrubbed so that we could escort the IOA on its first off-world adventure."

If Jillian had been surprised before, now she was stunned. She couldn't have been more stunned if Daniel had announced that they had come to the Gamma Site with a hippopotamus.

"The IOA is here?" she said, flatly.

"Yes."

"With SG1?"

"By special request."

Jillian let that hang in the air for a moment and then said, "Have they read the reports? SG1 is the team most likely to bring fire and destruction down on their heads."

"Hey now," Daniel said, but it was a mild rebuke, softened by his grin. It was true. So he couldn't really argue.

"So you're all here?" Jillian asked.

"Yep. Sam's on the tour at the moment. I begged off to see you. I have no idea where Mitchell and Teal'c are hiding. We kind of abandoned Sam."

"She'll get you back," Jillian warned, "and you know what they say about paybacks."

"We'll owe her. So it's okay. What did you find out from the carbon dating? Is it as old as we hoped?"

"It's at least two thousand years old by Earth reckoning, at least the underground support structure from which we got the wood sample is, " Jillian answered, "which doesn't help at all with the Sennacherib versus Nebuchadnezzar controversy. It's younger than all the historical claims. But it does tell us that this was here after the time period of either king."

"So we could hypothesize that the builders came through the Gate and recreated it here."

"Or the historians on Earth that wrote about the Hanging Gardens were actually writing about this location somehow," Jillian said.

"That seems unlikely given how long the Stargate was buried. How would they get here?" Daniel countered.

Jillian glanced up at him and knew that Daniel was already way ahead of her. He had been presented a possible situation and his incredible intellect had already made the leap from point A to point G, skipping all the irrelevant points in the middle. It was why they didn't play chess. Daniel was always twenty moves ahead of her. She had asked him once why he and Jack didn't play chess and discovered that they had – twice, to a stalemate both times. They had never played again.

"There are more ways to travel the stars than just the Gate system." She pointed this out knowing he knew that. "We've already seen evidence of the influence of the Ancients in Persia, Assyria and Babylon, Daniel."

"You think the Ancients brought people here?" Daniel asked. Jillian knew as well as Daniel did that archaeology could be a very frustrating field, especially when they had to compare the evidence from two separate cultures on two different worlds.

Jillian shook her head. "I am putting it out there as a simple hypothesis. I have no evidence at all to support it. But someone built those gardens, here at the Gamma Site, on a planet light years from Earth. So the question on the table is 'How did they get here?' I'm suggesting they may have been transplanted – either from Earth to here, or vice versa."

"So how do you plan to test it?" Daniel asked, falling into his natural 'professor' role. Jillian's heart beat a little faster at the look in his eyes, the expression on his face – eager, inquisitive. He was making small, restless movements, a shift of his weight, a brush of his hands, a twitch of his fingers. He was gazing at her steadily, as if the words could not come fast enough for him and he wanted to read the answer directly from her eyes.

"It would help if someone who also knew how to read cuneiform was helping me translate the texts," Jillian said, with a mischievous wrinkle of her nose.

Daniel grinned back at her. "There wasn't anyone else who could pass the security requirements. I've checked. Reading cuneiform is kind of a lost art on Earth."

Jillian leaned closer, flirtatiously. "Well, my boss happens to read it fluently. He taught me after all."

"He must be a smart man," Daniel said.

"Very," she agreed, tipping her head back in an invitation to kiss.

"Smart enough to have married you?" Daniel asked, starting to lean over again.

"Yes." Jillian started to say more and then couldn't. He had sealed his mouth over hers in another kiss that was love – love like cleansing rain, love like the scent of desert winds, love like chocolates in a box looking orderly and composed but keeping delicious secrets hidden in their centers.

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	265. Chapter 265

**One last missing scene from The Scourge. This will also reference things from the last adventure in Moonlight and Steel.**

**(0)**

While Daniel was off doing his required duty to the IOA, Sam managed to slip away for a much-needed break. She sought Jillian's lab, hoping that the IOA wouldn't really want to know about the carbon dating of old ruins. The Gamma Site was starting to gradually return to full capacity after the weekend. Sam had been slightly jealous that the archaeology reports had given Daniel given yet another excuse to avoid the IOA. If the delegates wanted to know about the ruins they could ask Daniel; and Daniel would be more than happy to tell them – at length, ad infinitum – and when he was done they would probably have learned not to ask Daniel about anything archaeological ever again.

In this case, that might just be why Daniel would do it in the first place.

Jillian was finishing up but so delighted to see Sam that she shoved her work aside and insisted on making her a cup of coffee. Nowadays, since Sam spent as much free time as possible escaping to see Jack and Jillian was always in a rush to get home to her son, they didn't see much of each other.

Jillian handed Sam her coffee and settled back with her cup of tea as she asked, "Have you seen Daniel? I'm leaving in a little bit and I wanted to see him before I left."

"The last time I saw him was a few minutes ago in the commissary with the Chinese delegate, who seemed to still be giving him a hard time."

Jillian's eyebrows went up. "A hard time? Is the guy still mad at Daniel after whatever it was he said to him about Arde?"

"No, that guy seems to have left the IOA altogether. This is a woman. I'm going to probably mangle this but Shen Xiaoyi?"

Jillian's eyebrows went higher. "That was pretty good, actually. I think I know her, or at least I've heard of her."

"Daniel knew exactly who she was," Sam told her, "which doesn't surprise me, I guess. He was involved with the International Stargate Treaty, and I know he pays careful attention to the membership of the IOA. She certainly knew who he was. If I didn't know better I'd swear she was trying to flirt with him."

Jillian snorted and sipped her tea. "I've watched women flirt with Daniel before. I've watched _men _flirtwith Daniel. He doesn't usually notice. He's too busy being aware of the person to see a gender, or a nationality for that matter; and he's absolute crap at overt seduction."

"Well this one seemed to know exactly how to get to him," Sam mused.

"What do you mean?"

"She identified him before we could introduce him, verbally marching into his 'space' and then challenging him to a Mandarin-off. Daniel seemed gracious enough but she insulted him, I think. He didn't look pleased by whatever she said to him."

Jillian pondered that while drinking her tea. "Daniel speaks Mandarin like a native. Perhaps we should introduce her to Mama Chui when we get back."

Sam smiled. "Now that would just be mean."

"Why do you think she's singling out Daniel?" Jillian asked.

"I think she wants to know if there's a chance to bring him over to the side of China if there's a dispute over the way the Treaty is being violated," Sam answered.

"He _is_ on China's side," Jillian said. "He helped write the original treaty. He isn't happy about the way it has been altered. Do you think she knows that?"

"If she doesn't, will he tell her?"

Jillian thought seriously about that. "No, he's smarter about negotiations than that. But it's interesting to me that she's zeroed in on Daniel. She must have guessed at the amount of power he might have."

"A close connection of the Head of Homeworld Security, who in turn is a favorite of the President of the United States?" Sam guessed.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but Jack is very unlikely to go running to the President to petition in favor of the Chinese," Jillian said.

"Highly unlikely, even if Daniel asked him, and I don't think even Daniel would ask in the first place. None of us are that stupid."

"She wouldn't necessarily know that if she's just looking for an ally," Jillian pointed out. "But she's going to have to just come right out and ask him. Daniel doesn't do subtle when it comes to things like this."

"Will he give her a straight answer?" Sam wondered.

Jillian's smile was very slow to form. "You know the answer to that as well as I do."

Sam smiled back. Daniel was very good at telling the complete truth without really revealing anything at all. Words were his weapon of choice in all situations.

Sam stood up and took her coffee mug to the sink to wash it. "I should get back before they miss me and come looking for me."

"And I need to get back to JD. My Gate time is in an hour and I still need to find Daniel." Jillian washed and rinsed her tea cup after Sam finished and turned off the hot water. "We need to go to the Broadmoor for a serious spa day and some shopping when this is over."

"That would be nice," Sam agreed. "I have something special planned for next month. It would be great to have some new clothes for it."

"We'll go to Victoria's Secret then," Jillian promised with a mischievous grin that made Sam blush.

Weekends with Jack tended towards sweats, bare feet and downtime spent sans any kind of clothing. But perhaps it was time to shake things up a little. Sam gave her a game, brave smile. "Okay," she said, "Let's do that."

(0)

In the end Daniel found her, still in the lab as she was packing up her laptop and some paperwork.

"I saw Sam in the hallway. She said you're getting ready to go back?"

"Yes. You knew I wasn't going to be here long," Jillian reminded him. JD was teething and it was making him fussier than usual. "Our son was fine when I left but it's not like Dad can call us easily."

"No, I know. I just didn't realize how long you had already been here," Daniel said. He frowned, remembering the way JD had cried and clung to him before he had left. Their son might have been fine when Jillian left, but he had been more than fussy when Daniel left. For Daniel, leaving JD was a simple matter of smiles and hugs and then feeling as if his heart had been wrenched out of his body to reside for the day with his son. The feeling of loss was devastating.

Nothing had prepared Daniel for the daily challenge of parenthood. First was the unexpected magnitude of emotions, the kind that rolled through his chest with the force and thunder of boulders tumbling downhill – not more than what he felt for Jillian, but different. Then there was the physically-numbing labor of it all, the mulish determination needed for what seemed like several hundred things that had to be done each and every day and then repeated the next.

He and Jillian were learning as they went along, adapting, adjusting and improvising as the situation called for it.

Part of the improvisation was Jillian shortening her day when she felt it was needed. In that, they were blessed by their work. But Daniel still decided not to tell her how JD had reached for him, crying, as he had left, feeling like the worst the parent on Earth or any other planet. He shook off the memories as they left the lab and walked through the concrete corridors in the direction of the Gate Room.

"So what's up with the new Chinese delegate?" Jillian asked. "Sam said she seems particularly interested in you."

Daniel blinked. In six years, Jillian had never shown the slightest tendency to be jealous. She was either supremely confident in how much he loved her, or she had a pretty good understanding that Daniel simply didn't see seduction from anyone but her. He kind of hoped it was both. He looked at her sharply and found eyes as green as spring grass, sprinkled with golden dew, looking back without challenge or fear. He saw only concern and understood immediately that her concern was for him. If Delegate Shen was bothering him, Jillian would go defend him – in clear and precise Mandarin that Daniel would dare Shen Xiaoyi to criticize.

Her staunch defense of and loyalty to him were humbling. Right or wrong, she loved him and stood by him. But they had barely survived Mitchell's attempt to start an international incident. He didn't need Jillian fanning what may still contain a spark of annoyance.

"It's fine_, carida_," Daniel said soothingly, as they turned the final corner on their way to the Stargate. "She's been a little pushy and she's said some things that would be considered rude by Chinese standards, but I think she's just trying to represent her government as best as she can."

"Being rude isn't representing the Chinese culture very well," Jillian pointed out.

"She's spent a lot of time in the West. It's part of the reason she was chosen for this position."

"That's no excuse for being rude."

"No, but…" Daniel's voice trailed off and he shrugged.

"What did she say in the Gate Room?"

"Sam told you about that?"

"Only her perception of it. She didn't know what you were saying."

Daniel grinned a little. "Well good, because most of the time I have no idea what she's saying and she's speaking English."

"Daniel," Jillian said patiently, to keep him from trying to deflect her curiosity.

"All right, all right," he said, holding up his hands to keep her from pressing him. "She asked me how good my Mandarin was. I told her it wasn't as good as her English."

Daniel paused and watched Jillian but she got it immediately. Culturally it was the correct response. He had demonstrated his mastery of the language but deflected any praise or boasting by phrasing his reply as a compliment to Shen Xiaoyi. Jillian smiled.

"Mama Chui would be proud of you," she said.

"Well, Shen decided to return the compliment by insulting me. Before I could answer her she asked me about our new leader–"

"Mitchell?"

"Yes," Daniel said, "I told her we were still teaching him; and it turns out Mitchell speaks Mandarin. He took offense and said something in Mandarin that he would never have said in English. I think he was directing it to me but Shen Xiaoyi heard him and understood it."

Jillian looked apprehensive. "What did he say?"

"Qù nǐde," Daniel replied.

Apprehension turned to horror. "In _front_ of her?"

"Well he was standing to the side, but yeah, pretty much."

"Wow," Jillian breathed. "Are you two the only ones who know what he said? Because Landry kind of follows the tradition of giving his colonels a long leash, but even Jack would snap Mitchell back for that one."

"I think I've smoothed the waters without promising her we'd move to China," Daniel said. They had reached the Gate and it was starting to dial. There was a small group of weekend personnel waiting to go back to Earth.

"Move to China? _What?"_ Jillian looked at him with confusion.

"Nothing," Daniel said. He stepped close enough to give her a perfectly acceptable public kiss goodbye, even though he longed to give her a kiss that stopped her heart and made her wish breathing was an option. "Go home and give JD a long, tight hug for me."

"You miss him," Jillian said.

"The way I miss you – like oxygen."

She couldn't answer over the rush and noise of the wormhole forming.

They still weren't good at this – at separating. Daniel had a reputation for being able to effortlessly do the impossible. He wondered how many people would understand that the hardest thing he ever did was to leave the people he loved, and it was never effortless. But Jillian smiled at him bravely, squeezed his hand and then moved off to join the group walking through the shimmering event horizon.

Daniel watched until the Gate shut down again. Then he stifled a sigh and turned around to resume his baby-sitting duties. Hopefully, this wasn't going to take too much longer...

(0)

**My friend who speaks Mandarin was kind enough to watch the Youtube clip of the exchange in Mandarin. As nearly as she can tell that is what Cam says and the translation is 'f**k off'. Frankly it startles me that Cam would say something like that, but it's canon. Apparently there are links to various wikis out there that claim he says "Get Lost." I will stick with the translation given to me by someone I know who has been speaking Mandarin since birth.  
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	266. Chapter 266

The return of the Odyssey had never filled Daniel with any kind of satisfaction. Most days he was blissfully unaware of the schedules of the various starships. He had anticipated not so much the return of the ship itself, but the personal belongings they had left behind when they had 'Gated off Ba'al's ship-his leather garb specifically. He hated wearing it in the field.

But he just loved wearing it at home. Jillian had been home all day. She didn't know the box of things had arrived safely back at the SGC. Beamed there actually, with the compliments of Emerson. Daniel hoped she wasn't exhausted from taking care of the baby all day. As much as they loved their son, it seemed some days that he got all his energy by siphoning it from the adults around him. When he had spoken to her on the phone earlier he had encouraged her to nap when JD did.

"_There's laundry," she had said. _

"_There's always laundry," Daniel answered. "It can wait."_

It was true. He didn't remember them having to do laundry every day before JD's birth. But for some reason the washer seemed to run almost constantly now. She had tried to argue with him and he had stopped her.

"_Rest. It's not the end of the world. We'll close the door to the laundry room."_

"_But-"_

"_Jillian, rest. I want to see _you_ tonight when I get home. Can you do that?"_

_He could hear the smile in her reply, "Yes."_

It had been a bit of a gamble. If she was tired or overwhelmed she might have taken exception to the possessiveness in his voice, or the implication that she had been neglecting him. She hadn't been neglecting him at all, of course, and fortunately she didn't take any kind of exception. There was a benefit, Daniel thought, to all the time they spent apart and all the time they spent worrying about each other. They had learned to make the most of the time they had together.

He put the leather back on and then covered it with a bulky pair of BDU pants and a heavier jacket than was probably necessary for the early autumn evening that waited for him above ground. But he had a reputation for always being cold and overdressed. It would be impossible to escape unnoticed from a base filled with trained military types and observant scientists. So a little bit of extra bulk wouldn't attract the same attention as sauntering out of the SGC in his undercover leather.

The day had slipped away into night by the time he made it behind the wheel of the Jeep. He got out his phone and sent Jillian a quick text to let her know he was on his way home.

/_On my way. Do we need anything?/_

/_No, we're fine. Putting JD down for the night. Come in quietly._/

/_I will. Love you./_

_/3. Always. Oh! The laundry is done and I managed to rest. ;-)/_

Her response made him smile. He didn't want her to try to be super woman when it came to the house and the baby and her husband. He knew that motherhood, with all of its newness, exasperation and exhilarating joy, was the single most challenging thing that had ever happened to her. She continued to amaze him on a daily basis.

He drove home carefully but not really conservatively. Jillian's truck was in the driveway so he pulled into the garage and parked next to the Navigator. She knew he hated parking the Jeep outside and left the truck out on purpose. He didn't argue with her about it. But he intended to add another bay to the garage, or at least a carport, as soon as he could.

The lights were dim in the kitchen and there were candles burning on the breakfast bar, lightly scenting the house with vanilla. Daniel took his shoes off after quietly closing the back door. He started to hang his bulky jacket on the hook by the washer and dryer and then paused. If Jillian seemed even the least bit tired, he didn't want to come in looking like he was demanding sex, or expecting a certain response from her. In the days before JD he wouldn't have hesitated. But it was different now.

He crept quietly down the hall to the baby's room. There was a soft light glowing, edging Jillian in muted gold. She was sitting in the rocking chair, moving slowly back and forth, gazing adoringly down at her son, and singing.

He was so completely overcome by the sight, and by the lilting, loving sound that Daniel found himself helpless to do anything but watch. It melted his heart, weakened his knees and made him feel a little dizzy as he fell undeniably in love with her all over again.

"_Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high,"_ she sang in her lovely contralto, "_There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby._ _Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue_ _and the dreams that you dare to dream,_ _really do come true…."_

Jillian glanced over at him and smiled gently. He started to take a step into the room but she held a finger to her lips and he backed off. Any change in his environment at this point would wake JD and send him into an hour of fussy grumpiness. Daniel slowly backed across the hall to the master bedroom.

All right. She looked happy, content and not at all overtired. He stripped out of the BDU pants and went to splash some water on his face and brush his teeth. He left his glasses on the dresser and then remembered at the last minute to pick his pants up off the floor and put them in the hamper. He lit some candles but didn't bother with the fireplace. It was too early in the season to need it and he was already warm just wearing the leather.

Quietly he crept back across the dimly lit hall and stopped in the doorway. Jillian had finished her lullaby and was standing, slowly lowering their slumbering child carefully into his crib. He couldn't resist at that point. He moved up behind her with all the stealth he had acquired in nine years with the SGC, stopping just short of pressing completely against her. He looked down at JD, sleeping peacefully as his mother tucked his blanket in, and tumbled even more hopelessly in love – not just with his wife but with his _family._

Finished tucking JD in, Jillian sighed in a way that was more movement than sound and leaned back against him. Daniel wrapped his bared arms around her and pulled her tight. The feeling of his skin around her, and the design on the leather shirt pressed against her back, made Jillian go completely still for a moment.

Then she turned and swept her eyes over him with a look that began as surprise and quickly morphed into simmering lust at the sight of him in all that tight leather. Daniel didn't say anything. He just smiled in a slow, sexy way. Then he took both of her hands and pulled until she came with him.

In the hall he let go of one hand and this time he raised his finger to his lips and whispered, "Shhhh. Don't wake the baby."

"Wouldn't dream of it," she whispered back.

He spared one glance at the baby monitor on the wall to make sure it was on and then gently closed the nursery door. Then he led her into their bedroom. Before she had become a mother she had been his and his alone. Before fatherhood, he had been hers and hers alone. There were times, Daniel thought, that it was really important for them to remember that. For tonight, for the next few hours, he wanted to remind her.

(0)


	267. Chapter 267

Daniel pulled her into the bedroom and she went willingly, drawn to him like a magnet. He turned and pushed the door closed with his foot.

"The Odyssey-"

She got no further. Daniel turned them again, flattened her against the wall and stopped her speech with a kiss. She gave one startled squeal of surprise but Daniel didn't care. It was the first time they'd had in weeks when they were not only alone but both awake. Pinning her with his body he took her face between his hands and slid his tongue into her mouth so she couldn't talk anymore. He had spent all week talking, all week explaining the events at the Gamma Site. For the first time in his life he was completely sick of talking and wanted desperately to do other, quieter things with his mouth. His kiss was fierce and hungry and she seemed happy enough to respond in kind. He kissed and tasted Jillian, familiar and wonderful, astonishing to him even now after all this time. Warm and wet, sly and sweet. Daniel could feel her coming alive under his touch and the blood surged in his veins, his body singing in response to her.

"Oh, god, Daniel," she murmured when he broke off to trail swift, hard kisses down her face and throat, bending over to reach the exposed skin above her breasts, revealed by the V of her t-shirt. Then words dissolved into soft, eager sounds as his hands started running over her. His fingers pulled the shirt out of her jeans and over her head and made equally quick work of her bra. He was careful not to pull her too close then, not hard against the ridges and laces of the leather vest. Her breasts were full and very sensitive now, a fact he adored. The slightest touch made her shiver and make small whimpers of delight. Cradling them delicately in his palms, thumbs faintly brushing the tips made her gasp and squirm against his groin.

"Oh, _god_, baby," he groaned. "Are you sure? You're not too tired?"

She tilted her head back to look up at him. She looked impossibly lovely, lips parted, cheeks flushed, eyes slightly unfocused. It made him crazy when she looked at him like that, want and need and love all running together, turning him rigid with desire. She ran her hands down the muscles of his arms and back up, over the leather on his shoulders and then linked her fingers behind his neck.

"Take me to bed, Daniel," she whispered against his lips. "You know what this outfit does to me or you wouldn't have worn it. Don't make me ask you again."

The next thing she knew he was propelling her to the bed. One hand was firmly against her lower back. The other was working at her belt and the snap on her jeans. Both were open by the time her knees hit the mattress and she had tumbled on top of it with Daniel's weight coming down to push her down into it. Mouth to mouth, skin to leather, his kiss was ravenous – as if he was trying to devour her. Jillian was happy to let him. He released her when they were both becoming breathless, panting; but only long enough to stand up and pull off her slippers and then help her shimmy out of her jeans and panties. She laid there, smiling up at him in a soft, welcoming way and he paused to look for a moment.

She sat up suddenly, reaching for the lacing on his vest. Daniel caught her wrists in a firm grip.

"No," he said, blue eyes burning, his voice low and seductive. The half-smile he gave was almost predatory. "You asked me to wear this for you. You got to pick the costume. So I get to run the show."

He brought her hands down and held them firmly against her side. When he leaned over he found her head lifted up to meet his for a kiss that seared their souls together. He broke off again and trailed kisses along her shoulder, pushing her back and up to the top of the bed. She was clinging to him with both hands on his shoulders, kissing whatever she could reach even through leather as he grasped the top of the quilt and shoved it out of the way, scattering pillows.

Daniel scooped her up and deposited her on the sheets with rough tenderness and Jillian gasped out a small laugh. He settled over her again, long and muscled and decidedly male. She shivered a little and he pulled her into his heat. Jillian draped her bare leg over his and rubbed it up and down against the smooth leather, sighing in pleasure.

"I am married to an _incredibly_ sexy man," she purred happily.

"Yours," Daniel promised, tasting and teasing the skin over the pulse in her throat. Then he leaned back enough to look down into her eyes. "You're the best decision I ever made, the best choice that was ever presented to me and I still can't believe I'm lucky enough to be here with you like this."

Jillian's peach-soft skin blushed delightfully and she wriggled against him. "Are we going to talk all night, Jackson?"

Daniel rocked his hips against her and rolled them slightly. Jillian bit back a whimper as her eyes slid shut. The current state of his body made his answer fairly obvious. They clearly were not going to talk all night. She ran her hand down his chest as if she was going straight for his cock and veered off at the last second to stroke the tight leather over his equally tight ass. Daniel caught her wrist again and pulled her hand away. Jillian frowned at him and then bit down on her lower lip as he eased her over on her back and pinned both hands over her head easily in one of his.

His grin was downright mischievous. He hadn't been sure she would like being naked while he stayed clothed. If she had shown the least hesitation about it, he'd already be stripping. But she was lying quietly now with her hands immobilized and his leather-clad body rubbing lightly against hers. Her glorious, incredible, amazing body was spread out for him willingly and he was almost entirely overcome by it. As his free hand toyed and teased the lush curves and tightening peaks and slick valleys he watched her face intently, as if he had never seen her before and was learning all her secrets the first time.

When he stopped watching her, though continuing to let his hand wander at will, Daniel started to worship her with his mouth. He moved restlessly over her, over abs ruthlessly flattened in the gym, over breasts full and heavy from motherhood, teasing over nipples that were already standing up until she was writhing and gasping and groaning his name.

When he hit a particularly devastating combination of fingers and tongue, Jillian went still and stiff, muscles tensed to keep her body from moving.

"Yes," she breathed. "Do that. Yes. Don't stop." Her hips lifted and fell in a rhythm as ancient as the sea and she was helpless to control it. It spoke to Daniel as much as words, in the language of intimacy, of _Jillian_ and he understood it fluently. _Yes, please, touch me move me give me life breathe for me, you know how, you've done this before…._

__Daniel let go of her hands and put that arm under her. Her hands grasped and clawed for him, settling on his forearms, fingernails digging in as if she was going to fall from a great height and needed him to hold her. In another reaction that was totally uncontrollable, Daniel pressed his aching cock hard against her hip. He was going to split the front of the pants if he didn't unlace them soon and he was starting to sweat a little. Still he didn't exactly want to strip completely.

Not yet. Later, when they could both be naked and drowsy.

Daniel held her on the edge for a time, reading her expression and the tiny ripples in the muscles of her stomach and legs, knowing the exact moment before she was going to lose it. Her head rolled back and her eyes squeezed shut and his name came out in a long breathe. On her back, submissive and helpless, arching up. His fingers slid over drenched silk in a relentless whirl, wet friction bringing her pleasure sublime. He knew the exact moment when her response to his ruthless, passionate urgency tumbled into free fall. Her orgasm pushed her into crying out incoherently, curled her up into a twisted ball. She pressed against him and shook, spasmed, sobbed and clung to him. Daniel put his leg over her and held on, gentle but tight. Jillian pressed so close to his chest she was going to get marks from the braided leather. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her damp forehead and murmured how much he loved her.

The intensity of it shocked Daniel, and pleased him deeply. The immediacy of her seemed to fill the entire space. The room filled with Jillian, the air was made entirely of her breath. It pulsed with her heartbeat. It filled with her heat. Desire and adoration became as tangible as touch; love and longing were the only scent and flavor in the room.

He was so hard at this point that he could feel his own pulse pounding in his cock. He was fighting for control because if she so much as brushed against him he was going to come straight down the leg of his pants. Jillian sighed and began to relax and his body shuddered in response.

When she looked up at him there was a delicious half-smile on her lips and a look in her eyes that said she was beginning to come back to reality. She started to speak but he put a finger over her lips, waited for her to subside and then leaned over to kiss her with tender passion. She was going to say she loved him and he knew it. But at the moment love was such a weak word for the emotion passing between them that he didn't want to hear it uttered.

He kissed her and kept kissing, wanting to stay in control, wanting still to dominate. But when she reached for the front of his pants and began to work the lace free, brushing fingers over his erection in a deliberately erotic way, Daniel didn't try to stop her.


	268. Chapter 268

Daniel seemed to tremble a little as Jillian unlaced the leather trousers. She kept her touch extraordinarily light. She hadn't really intended to move this fast after returning to reality. But the leather was so enticing and she couldn't keep herself from reaching for the supple fabric and the next thing she knew she was touching his thighs. The leather smoothed over the powerful muscles and she felt them ripple as her fingers skimmed over them.

The muscles in his arms tightened but not to draw her closer. She was free to move however she wanted. It felt more as like he was asking her not to pull away, a plea for her to continue. Carefully she worked the laces open, pushed back the leather and sought the heated center of his arousal. Daniel bit back a groan as her hand closed around him, wanting and needing. A shivery sigh from him stirred the damp hair on her forehead.

"Oh god, Jill, oh yeah…yeah, please, oh_, god._" He kept repeating it over and over like a litany from all of her fantasies. His eyes were closed for a moment, squeezed shut, emphasizing the fine lines he had gained from too much time spent squinting into foreign suns. There was never any doubt what Daniel wanted. He would either tell her or take her hand and move it to wherever he wanted. He'd talk, moan, whimper, thrash. Jillian always knew what he wanted. If not for concrete walls, everyone at the SGC would know what Daniel wanted.

She often wondered how much the neighbors heard.

She touched him, touched his cock, cradled it in her palm, wrapped her fingers around the hard, hot length reverently, as if it was some sort of sacred object. He breathed in sharply, stiffening, growing harder.

"_Jill,_ oh god yeah _fuck, _baby, that's good. That's so good."

Jillian sometimes tried to make light of it, thinking that every man on the planet would respond to being touched like that. But then Daniel would look at her the way he was looking at her now and she would see the difference. Not just arousal and need, lust and desire, but love and adoration. He wanted this, but only from her. He could have gone anywhere dressed like this and gotten the same thing. But he came home to her.

Then his eyes closed on a groan like he was dying and his arms tightened again. She saw everything he was feeling and it was shocking to know how much power she had over him. He had come in tall and proud and utterly certain of his masculinity and his effect on her. But now he was letting her see the opposite.

It was a display of erotic sensuality that was also the most intensely loving thing he had ever done for her. She was always aware of how much he was holding back, especially now given the naked yearning in his eyes and the minor tremors running through his body.

"Take the vest off at least," she urged, softly. His eyebrows lifted slightly in question, amusement joined the desire on his face. "Take it off. You're already getting sweaty."

Daniel hesitated and then sat up. He loosened the laces enough to pull it over his head in a rough display of rippling muscles that left her breathless. Jillian had never known that love could look like this – Daniel coming undone, letting down his guard, skin flushed, strikingly beautiful and very _very_ male. Broad shoulders and sculpted back, narrow waist and hips, powerful thighs, his cock heavy and demanding. She wondered sometimes what it would be like if Daniel really let go and took her with his full strength.

By the time he turned back to her, Jillian had fallen onto her back to gaze up at him with devotion and welcoming desire. She saw him fighting a smug, happy grin.

"Was this what you wanted?" He asked, because she wasn't nearly as good at telling him what she wanted.

She nodded and put a hand on his shoulder to bend him towards her, pushing her hips under his and letting her knees fall open.

She watched as he positioned himself and slid forward into heat and light. It was amazing to watch – the concentration on his face, the way Daniel closed his eyes and experienced it. She kept her eyes on his face until it was too much, until the feeling and fullness demanded that she groan and bear down, trying to take all of him. She held her breath and tried not to climax again before he even got started. Daniel's body seemed to engulf hers, covering her, his weight on his elbows so that her breasts were brushing against his chest. They pushed towards each other until he couldn't get any deeper.

Then they went utterly still for a moment with their eyes closed and their faces pressed together, breathing each other in , lips grazing and tongues touching delicately, noses rubbing.

"I love you," Daniel whispered, as he changed the position of their legs, straddling her, pushing her legs together so that she had him clenched deep inside. The feeling of the hot, smooth leather against her was almost unbearable. Jillian stroked his back over and over, sliding all the way to his leather-covered glutes and kneading the firm muscles before gliding back up. The only thing she could move was her hands. Daniel had her lower body effectively trapped.

"_Daniel," _she said, urgently. His stillness was maddening. Her hands started fluttering over him as if she wasn't sure where they should land.

Daniel smiled and kissed her face, arched his back to kiss her shoulder, slow and sweet. The slow torture wasn't what she wanted but it felt so wonderfully good that all she could do was whimper. The arch of his back shifted his hips and caused a blessed quiver of movement inside her.

"Daniel, _please,_" she begged and then her heart pounded in triumph when he moved, thrust forward so forcefully he lifted her several inches off the bed and knocked the breath out of her. He kept moving but slower than she would have believed possible. Slow but with no less force, each thrust hitting against a place that was sending tendrils of pleasure sizzling over her body.

Jillian sank into the pure pleasure of it. Daniel had infinite patience, even when he was as turned on as he was at the moment. It was like being on the ocean, rocking on rhythmic waves, sinking into the water and abandoning herself to it. She was drenched and sobbing as she responded to him.

"Daniel, I… I'm going to—"

"Okay," he murmured, licking her ear and teasing the lobe between his teeth. His voice was low and sexy, filled with love and encouragement.

"No, _really. _I—" Jillian broke off on a groan. She was desperately trying to move under him but he had her successfully pinned. It shouldn't have been a rush but it was. Still, she had no control over her need to answer his insistent movement. "Daniel!"

He relented, shifting them once again. His muscled thighs came down between hers and pushed them open. Hot leather caressed her tender skin as he thrust.

"_Jillian." _His voice was throaty and hushed. His body blanketed her, surrounded her, filled her.

She pushed up into the muscled density, the supple flex of Daniel moving on her, moving _in_ her. He was so beautiful, deep and forceful, masterful, all the muscles in his arms, back and shoulders corded and tense from the effort. He increased steadily into a deeper, firmer stimulation, focusing on her. Daniel made love to her, very slow and very deep, a throbbing intensity of fullness, impossibly huge. The harder his thrusts got, the longer the interval between them. He was as far into her as he could get and he didn't pull out to thrust. He pushed down hard from where he was, eyes open, watching her.

"Daniel!" She gasped as it began. Transcendent climax sent every nerve in her body tingling. All her awareness rushed to the place where their bodies were joined and then _joy _was expanding from the core of her. Her entire body clenched around him, surged up to cling to him as she cried out helpless over and over. Daniel pushed into her with all the weight and strength of his powerful body and the universe imploded.

She had just enough presence of mind to turn her face sideways before she suffocated against his chest. Her legs went up and around his leather-clad hips. She had no control over her body after that. She went boneless and limp, caught in forces older than time. Daniel had finally sped up, jackhammered into her orgasm. In a moment of suspended time she waited for him to climax, feeling his muscles bunching and hearing his breath becoming harsh.

Then he made the sound she knew – the shocked gasp, the inhalation he never exhaled. The sound he made just before he climaxed. He held his breath for a moment and then it tore out of him in a cry that was raw and sensual. He arched into wrenching tremors that rolled like thunder. He came for a long time, breathless, his body unmoving except for the way it shook uncontrollably.

Gradually his breathing slowed and he gave a weak series of final pushes. Jillian moaned in appreciation. Her arms fell back because she no longer had the strength to hold onto him. Daniel's head had dropped against her shoulder and his arms were quaking with the effort of holding his body up. Jillian rubbed her cheek against his hair, gave a soft brush of her lips in the form of an exhausted kiss and wiggled a little. With a soft groan and heavy sigh Daniel eased out of her so gently she hardly felt it.

Poised above her for a single, wondrous moment, Daniel leaned down to kiss her lips, then the tip of one breast and then the other. Jillian smiled, ruffled his hair and then closed her eyes in bliss as he fell onto his side and gathered her in close.

"Love you," Daniel murmured.

"Mm-mm," she agreed, nodding so that her hair slid like watered silk against his chest. "So good, Daniel. So incredible."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"I'm going to be too exhausted to get up if the baby needs me," she said, her tone warm and dry, rich and low.

"That won't happen," Daniel said with certainty as he twined his legs around hers and moved into a more comfortable position. "You'd get up out of a coma if JD needed you." He felt her smile, felt it in the way her body relaxed even more in his arms. "I mean it. You're a wonderful mother. It's a whole new side of you I get to see."

"And you like it?" Jillian asked. The uncertainty in her voice touched him to his soul. How could she doubt? Even on the worst days in the beginning of their tenure as parents, when they had both been exhausted and couldn't remember the last uninterrupted night's sleep, hot meal or leisurely shower, Daniel had been completely enchanted watching Jillian and their son. They had fallen into a comfortable routine now of playing and feeding and rocking, changing and soothing and walking their tiny dictator and Daniel couldn't remember ever loving his wife more.

He laughed a little, nuzzled her hair. "Baby, I got rock hard watching you sing a lullaby. That should tell you something."

She turned so that she was looking into his eyes. "That I should sing more often?"

Daniel chuckled again and pressed a chaste, adoring kiss against her temple. He looked content and tender and utterly, unconditionally in love. Gazing back at him, Jillian let the same emotions show in her eyes and in the certain, rhythmic beating of her heart as it echoed his.

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	269. Chapter 269

**Several Months Later, at Daniel's house….**

**(0)**

Get-togethers at Jackson's house had become commonplace. It was hard for them to leave the house with a baby, but Daniel had served too long with Jack O'Neill and he knew the value of letting the team have downtime together. So his house had become the default hangout in O'Neill's absence.

This particular Saturday was different from the usual gathering. Instead of a potluck, Jillian and Daniel had cooked an actual dinner – steaks on the grill, baked potatoes, salad and baby carrots, an exquisite wine, a choice of beers, and apple pie with ice cream for dessert. It was a celebration of having survived the last few months, having returned safely from Arde (where a new government had been established following the President's resignation, and a new treaty signed that should keep the naquadah flowing), rescuing and retrieving the stolen Stargates from Ba'al, and most recently, avoiding being eaten by carnivorous bugs at the Gamma site.

Mitchell had been eagerly anticipating the dinner for a week, ever since being invited. It reminded him of the Sunday-afternoon family dinners back home and, god, how he missed those. Even the knowledge that the General was going to be in attendance hadn't deterred his enthusiasm. He was in too much awe of General O'Neill most of the time. This time he vowed to relax and just try to chill. He'd proven himself with SG-1 and he hadn't gotten any of them killed. So far, so good.

So far the day had not failed to delight.

Jillian had hors d'oeuvres out on the breakfast bar – grapes dipped in caramel and crushed pecans, and crackers with cheese and ham on top. There was a bowl of shrimp on ice with tartar and cocktail sauce in bowls beside it. The wine was already opened but Cam opted for the Sam Adams Boston Lager that he knew Jackson bought just for him. It was one of those things that made Cam feel like he belonged now. These were his new brothers- and sisters-in-arms and they made sure there were little things – like having the right beer – that made him feel a part of it.

Cam had finished the first bottle and was starting on the second, bemusedly watching Sam rocking Daniel's delighted six month-old son in the chair by the fireplace (because 'maternal' wasn't a word he associated with Sam, but she was _so_ good with that baby), when there was a knock on the door.

"That's Jack," Daniel said.

Mitchell came to attention and turned. The door was already opening and the General was walking in before Daniel could get to it. Teal'c came in from the deck where he had been monitoring the grill. Cam watched the greetings with laser-focused attention. He didn't get to see them all in one place very often, and hadn't seen them since Arde; and had seen the General only once before in any kind of casual setting, unless you counted Mitchell's hospital room.

The greetings were over-the-top affectionate, in Mitchell's opinion, the kind of affection that was usually a farewell after a lot of beer with caffeine chasers. Daniel got a quick, fierce hug; Teal'c a slap on the shoulder with one hand as they clasped forearms. Jillian got a gentle one armed embrace and a kiss on the cheek as shoved a bottle of wine into Daniel's hand.

When O'Neill turned to the occupants of the living room, Cam started to salute but Jack cut him off while walking with purpose towards Sam.

"At ease, Mitchell, it's just dinner," the General said.

"Yes, sir," Cam responded.

He was just starting to feel relaxed when his keen observer's eye was struck by the way the General greeted Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter. Sam stood up out of the rocker and shifted baby JD to her hip in one smooth, practiced motion. She timed it so that she was standing just as Jack was nearly on top of her. The hug they exchanged didn't look friendly. It looked downright domestic, especially with the baby sitting on Sam's hip as if he belonged to them somehow and not to Daniel and Jillian. Jack even bent his head so that his face was in her hair for a moment just before he let go. He didn't step back as Cam expected him to. He reached for his namesake – Jonathan Daniel Jackson – taking the baby and grinning goofily into JD's face just before transferring him to his own hip. JD gurgled happily.

"Good _god,_ you get bigger every time I see you," Jack said, patting the small back with a hand that suddenly looked huge. "Daniel! What are you feeding this kid?"

From the kitchen, wrestling with the corkscrew and another bottle of wine, Daniel called back, "Don't look at me. _I'm_ not the one who feeds him."

"Daniel!" Jillian chided gently.

"Did you get Jett settled okay?" Sam asked Jack – a perfectly logical question, but one no one else had asked. Sam's voice was worried, anxious. Mitchell was struck again by how domestic the scene was, as if they all shared Jett but Sam and Jack shared him just a little bit more.

Jett was on Edora for a visit. It was the reason Jack was in Colorado Springs and, ostensibly, the reason for the dinner at Jackson's house, a chance for them all to be together and relax. Yeah, they were all really glad not to have been killed on Arde, or on board Baal's ship, or at the Gamma site…but a potluck would have been good enough to celebrate that. Hell, a good rollicking First Thursday would have covered it.

"Yep," Jack answered. "They were glad to see him, even if it's just for a few days."

Jack moved to sit down on the couch with the baby on his lap and Sam went to get him a beer. Mitchell continued to keep a weather eye on the General. It was impossible not to. The man was a General, _the_ General as far as Mitchell was concerned, and Cam was too immersed in the military not to be aware of a man with that much power. The more he watched the more he observed something strange seemed to be going on, something he had never been aware of before. What was even stranger was that no one else seemed to notice anything at all.

It started with Sam getting Jack a beer from the fridge as if she did it all the time; and not one of Cam's Samuel Adams. She brought him a heavy stout Cam had never seen in Jackson's fridge before and then sat down so close to him on the couch their knees were touching. Then they played with JD for a while (and watching them both cooing over a baby was just one of the stranger things Cam had seen in his life), until JD started to fuss and Jillian came to take him into the nursery, where presumably she was going to feed him whatever it was that was making him grow so big.

As one unit and with no spoken signal that Cam heard, Jack and Sam got up and went to sit at the breakfast bar. Mitchell got up and sauntered into the kitchen so he could watch them some more. The first thing that happened was that Jack dished up a plate of shrimp for Sam and then, as she ate them, proceeded to snag the discarded shrimp tails. He cracked the remaining shells off and ate what was left, smearing them in the cocktail sauce on her plate. Sam appeared not to mind. She even pushed some of them closer to Jack and didn't miss a beat in her conversation with Daniel and Teal'c.

"So, do you think the Chinese representative will ever go through the Stargate again?" Sam asked.

"I don't think she'll ever leave China again," Daniel said.

"Indeed," Teal's agreed. "Nor do I think we will ever have to deal with the French representative again."

"With any luck," Daniel groused.

"With any _real_ luck, we'll never have to deal with Woolsey again," Sam said, shaking her head and pushing a pile of discarded shrimp tails in Jack's direction.

"I wouldn't count on that," Jack said.

While Cam was helping Daniel set the table – mentally thanking his Grandma for the lessons in where forks and knives went – O'Neill poured a glass of wine for Sam and put ice in it, without being asked or instructed. Cam's 'strange' meter chimed again. It was a chilled rosé wine, but still….

It was even odder when they finally sat down to dinner. Jillian returned, having fed her son and put him down to sleep. Daniel helped her get the food ready for the table and they moved together around the kitchen like a well-oiled machine.

But so did Jack and Sam. It wasn't odd that they knew where everything in the kitchen was. That was expected; they'd all eaten here a lot. What was strange was that Jack and Sam functioned together just as Daniel and Jillian did. They _smiled_ at each other, which really shouldn't be that odd, but something in the _way_ they smiled at each other was _just_ a little different than the way they looked at everyone else.

It was odd that when they sat down to eat, it was just assumed that Jack would sit next to Sam. Of course it helped that Jack had already put his beer and Sam's refreshed glass of wine (with more ice) at two plates right next to each other. Jackson and Jillian sat at opposite ends with Teal'c and Mitchell on the other side from Jack and Sam.

Then things just got odder. It was odd that Sam would cut about a quarter of her steak off and slide it onto O'Neill's plate. It was odd that Jack would reach for the Ranch dressing and put it in front of Sam before getting the Catalina for himself. Sam used the salt and gave the shaker to Jack and neither of them so much as glanced at the other. Throughout the meal, Sam would move Jack's beer bottle and replace it with his water glass and Jack would drink out of whatever happened to be in front of his left hand at the moment, without comment. Sam gave Jack the steak sauce but never used it herself.

And Sam…Cameron had never seen her look so…_happy. _

Now, Mitchell understood that this team had served together for almost a decade, and Jackson and O'Neill went back even further than that. Cam knew firsthand how a squadron became a family, how they took care of each other and learned to anticipate each other's needs and preferences without even thinking about it. But he'd eaten a lot of meals with this team and he'd never seen anyone mess with someone else's food or drink, even if they knew what to do. He suspected that if he tried to get some of Sam's steak he'd wind up with a fork in the back of his hand. Sam was sitting right next to Jackson and she wasn't moving _his_ wine glass all over the place. Daniel had asked for the steak sauce and gotten it passed and it was probable that Jillian would have just given it to him if she had been sitting closer. Just like Sam had given it to Jack.

In the course of his lifetime and his career, Mitchell had seen the same kind of oblivious cooperation between men, between women, between men and women...and there was something just a little too familiar about this.

In fact, there was something a lot familiar about this. He hadn't got such a strong 'couple' vibe off anyone since his grandparents when he was growing up. They'd been married and running a farm together for forty years, and even after growing up in a whole family full of role models of faithful, loving relationships, Mitchell had looked at his grandparents and thought, _Man, I hope I have something half that solid someday._

There was something about the way Sam leaned towards Jack when Teal'c related an anecdote from one of their earlier mission and they all laughed. There was something about the way they were sitting a little closer together than anyone else at the table. There was something about the way they moved, smoothly synchronized without even looking at each other; and a _huge_ something about the _way_ they looked at each other when they did.

All the SG-1 team members finished each other's sentences. Hell, he'd been doing it himself for a couple of months now and hadn't even realized it at first. But with Sam and Jack it didn't seem like some group-mind, team thing. It was like they were the left and right sides of the same brain.

It wasn't like the weird thing O'Neill did with Jackson, that still left Cam with a headache most of the time. O'Neill would start a sentence and Jackson would finish it to mean exactly the opposite of what O'Neill had clearly intended to say, and O'Neill would turn right around and do it back until they were griping at each other using nothing but their first names.

Sam and Jack's thoughts synced up perfectly, one supplying the words the other was groping for.

They had a brief moment of disagreement that was settled in strings of undecipherable dependent clauses, and then an entire conversation that consisted of nothing but the word "what", deep eye contact and the word "Carter." Mitchell had seen O'Neill do that with Jackson too, but this was nothing like the arguments between them. Those arguments always seemed like a fire getting ready to spark, antagonism tempered by mutual respect and long-standing friendship.

This – what the General and Sam were doing – was more like two people finding a pothole in the road they were traveling, stopping to fix it, and not moving on until they were sure it was fixed good and solid.

It was uncanny. It was...it was unnerving and it was unexpected….

It was freaking the shit out of him.

It was also...well, absolutely beautiful.

Add in the body language and the eye-conversation and Sam's eye-shining happiness, the General's relaxed casualness, the 'Grandma and Grandpa' vibe, and Mitchell had to file it all firmly in the deepest corner of his brain under the heading '_the military never gets even a hint of this.'_

He spent the rest of the meal talking to Teal'c, charming Jillian and regaling them all with tales about Sam in the Academy and on their first tour together in Iraq. He didn't go so far as to seriously embarrass her and he took it graciously when she gave back as good as she got. He told the story of bringing her home for Christmas the year before they left for Iraq and how she had passed the "Crazy Aunt Edna" test with flying colors. Aunt Edna had adored Sam before the first hour of the visit was up.

When Jack's arm wound up casually draped over the back of Sam's chair, after he had pushed away his plate of apple pie crumbs, Mitchell decided just not to notice that at all.

Then they were clearing the table and Jillian went to check on the baby, who could be heard fussing over their intercom system. When the dishes were piled up in the kitchen, Daniel ordered everyone downstairs to pick a movie or start a video game and Sam challenged everyone to a game of Mario Kart. Jack went, and so did Teal'c, but when Mitchell offered to hang around and help with the dishes, Jackson didn't argue.

They scraped and rinsed in comfortable silence for a little bit and then Jackson said, quite unexpectedly,

"You have no idea what just happened, do you?"

"What?" Cam said, caught off-guard. "We had dinner, swapped some stories." But he was getting the blue-eyed stare of interrogation from Jackson so he asked, "What did I miss?"

Daniel continued to lock eyes with Cam. They had been told before that they looked enough alike to be brothers, something even Cam had to admit. But Cam didn't think he could get his eyes to be quite as penetratingly, unnervingly blue as Daniel's were at the moment. Cam was almost grateful for the glasses. They acted as a kind of shield.

"What?" he said again. "What did I miss?"

Shrewdly, Daniel said, "You didn't miss anything. That's the point."

Cam continued to look into Daniel's eyes because he didn't back down easily. But then he saw it and he saw that Daniel knew he had 'gotten' it.

Sam and Jack didn't act like that around people they didn't trust. They only did it around family.

"They really are?" Cam prompted.

Daniel nodded.

"Together," Cam finished, needing the verbal confirmation that this was really what they were discussing.

"Yes," Daniel said. "For over a year now."

"Then they did this on purpose?"

Now Daniel shrugged and turned back to the dishes. "Who knows? Maybe they let down their guard unconsciously because that's what they do here. But that just means they already trust you. I mean, I know Sam trusts you already. So it was just Jack who had to come around. They might have done it deliberately to see what you would do. They didn't do anything overt really, nothing they couldn't deny. Either way, you did exactly what you were supposed to. You noticed, you were surprised, you didn't act on it. You didn't say anything. You filed the information and you moved on." Daniel looked at him again, pointedly. "Right?"

Cam swallowed. They were inviting him into the whole family. That much he knew. This was the BIG fucking family secret and they were trusting him with it. But if he betrayed that trust, they'd push him off a cliff and wave to him as he fell. Cam knew he was looking into the eyes of the man who protected his 'family' at all costs; the man his own wife admitted could be a 'ruthless bastard.'

"Right," he agreed quickly. _Jeezus, _here he was a decorated, combat-seasoned officer in the US Air Force and the way this…_scientist_ was looking at him had Cam quaking in his boots.

Daniel's mouth quirked a smile and then he continued vigorously scrubbing at the cutting board. "Good."

Cam breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

Later when they all went downstairs, the General found his way over to Mitchell and challenged him to be the fourth Mario Kart. Cam's competitive nature kicked in and he won the first three rounds.

It earned him a slap on the back from O'Neill and a hearty, "Congratulations."

But when Cam looked into the General's dark, expressive eyes he saw that O'Neill knew what Cam knew and the General was okay with it. He wasn't congratulating Cam on kicking butt at Mario Kart.

He was welcoming him into the family.

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	270. Chapter 270

**A/N: Something lighthearted and sweet before the episodes at the end of season 9. They have to have a break every now and then.**

**(0)**

Jillian had noticed Daniel's odd disappearances on the base for the last week or two. There were really only a few places he could ever be found – his office, his lab, Sam's lab (because she never used her office so Daniel never looked for her there), Cam's office on rare occasions, the library, the gym, the basketball court (since Cam's arrival in their lives), the lockers, the bathroom or wandering the halls, the commissary (where he usually invited her to go with him first). But lately, and at odd times, Jillian hadn't been able to find him _anywhere._ Then she discovered that she couldn't find Cam, Rusty or Scotty at those times either.

She was almost relieved to find Sam in her lab, even if Daniel wasn't with her.

"Hey, come on in," Sam said. She indicated the pile of printouts next to her computer. "Any idea where Daniel is? I could use his help here."

"What is that?"

"It's the schematics and technical manuals for the wormhole drive on Atlantis."

"Wormhole drive?" Jillian repeated blankly.

"It's the way Atlantis moves through space," Sam explained, "by creating its own wormhole. McKay sent me the manuals that were translated from the program I created from Daniel's work. But I'd much rather have Daniel look at this."

"Actually I came to ask if you had seen him," Jillian admitted. She had come into the room and was leaning over Sam's chair, looking at the printouts. "Wow. I can read this for you but it's not like I would understand a word of it."

"You don't know where Daniel is?" Sam was startled. "He came in with you, didn't he? He's on the base somewhere?"

"Yes, we came in together and he promised we're leaving together, and he hasn't signed out. I just don't know where he is. I can't find him anywhere and he's not answering his phone or replying to my texts."

Sam leaned back and bit her lip. At least Jillian had confirmed that he was still on the base, not out there on the road somewhere. Sam was always a little nervous anytime anyone she cared about was on the road. She knew where that particular demon came from – and she had often admitted to herself that her love of fast cars and quality machinery was another response to her mother's fatal accident. It was something to give her control. It was so bad that the only person she trusted to drive her was Jack. The way the man flew everything from a piper cub to an X-302 made Sam certain that she was perfectly safe in something as mundane as a four-wheeled vehicle with him behind the wheel. But it didn't stop the buzz of fear that seized her when someone she loved was on the road and unaccounted for.

"Where did you look?" Sam asked.

Jillian rattled off the usual places and Sam shook her head when she was finished. "I don't have any better ideas, Jill. Maybe we should have him paged."

"He hates that," Jillian observed.

"He hates making you worry too."

"Then maybe he should start telling me where's he's been going!"

"_Been_ going?"

"Yes! He's been vanishing a few hours a day for a couple of weeks."

Sam's forehead wrinkled in a frown. "That's not like Daniel. I mean, he's private, but…for a couple of weeks?"

"Yes."

"Then he's probably doing something for you. You know he loves to surprise you."

"My birthday is in February, our anniversary is in April and Christmas isn't for months. What could he be doing here at the SGC?"

"Does he need an occasion to surprise you? The two of you never really struck me as the anniversary-remembering type."

"Well, he remembers the important dates, but things like the 'first time we had sushi' or something like that, no. We agreed not to worry about that years ago."

"Then he's probably just doing something special. You trust him, right?"

"Of course I trust him. He just doesn't usually ignore me. What if we needed to go home to JD?"

"Just because he isn't answering your texts doesn't mean he isn't seeing them. If it was important he would come. Look, Jill. Just ask him. If it's a surprise for you he'll at least tell you that much before he'll let you keep worrying. It will be safer anyway. If you get any more curious you're going to start following him and then the surprise will be ruined."

Jillian mused over that for a moment. "You're probably right."

"Why did you want to find him?"

"I need his help finding something in that dungeon of stuff Katherine left us. Daniel promised a lot of the collection to various museums and the British Museum is getting antsy. Truthfully that's where all of it belongs. I have looked a few times, but I can't find one of the things on the list he made up to be shipped to England."

"I could help if you can describe it to me or show me a picture."

"But you're working," Jillian protested.

Sam stood up and stretched a little. "I could take a break and I'd really rather have Daniel clarify what this says before I go any further."

Since Jillian really didn't like digging through Katherine's collection by herself and she was resigned to the fact that she was just going to have to wait for Daniel to resurface, she agreed. They rode the elevator up to the third floor to get Diet Cokes and snacks first, and then back down to the large storage rooms on the twenty-third floor where the extensive collection Katherine had left to Daniel was kept.

They rounded a corner after exiting the elevator, chatting about the movies that were coming out for Christmas.

"I thought _The Holiday_ looked intriguing," Jillian said, "If we can get the guys to go with us to a romantic comedy."

"It's an awful lot of work for all of us to go out to a movie," Sam said, keeping her references obscure. But Jillian knew what she meant. The previous June the four of them – Sam and Jack and Daniel and Jillian – had gone to see _Pirates of the Caribbean: Deadman's Chest_. It had involved Jack using the Asgard beam to take them all to a small theater in the middle of Oklahoma. Sam often joked that there was no taking the Special Forces out of the guy but Jack sometimes too it to an extreme. He'd never been willing to risk being seen and recognized in Colorado Springs, or anywhere else in Colorado for that matter. When he wanted to take Sam to a movie or out to dinner and be able to act like a 'for real' couple – hand holding, popcorn sharing and theater snuggling included, they wound up in the middle of No Where USA.

"It wasn't that bad," Jillian said, thinking to herself, _Materializing in an alley notwithstanding._ "Sam, Daniel and I said we would do anything we could to make this work for you."

"I know," Sam said, in a very low hushed voice, "and I do appreciate it."

They stopped talking then because there was simply no more that could be said in their present location. As it was the conversation died a sudden death anyway. They came into the corridor of storage rooms just as a door was opening. Daniel, Scotty, Rusty, Cam, Master Sergeant Siler and Walter Harriman all came walking out, laughing and talking. At the sight of the women they all came to a guilty halt. Sam and Jillian likewise stumbled to a stop and looked at them in confusion.

"Daniel?" Jillian said, after a long awkward pause in which the groups just stood and stared at each other.

"Um," Daniel began. "We, uh, we can explain."

"Sort of," Scotty said, quickly.

Daniel turned to give Scott a pleading look. "We have to tell her. You better understand why or you shouldn't do what you're planning to do!"

"Tell me _what_ exactly?" Jillian demanded.

In spite of his words to Scott, Daniel now looked pleadingly at his wife. "It isn't exactly my secret."

"Whose secret is it then?" Sam asked.

"It's Scotty's," Cameron said.

That brought Jillian up short. She wouldn't betray a confidence of Scotty's and she wouldn't expect Daniel to do so either, not even to her. She turned and looked at her team mate and asked in an anxious voice, "Is something wrong, _didi_?"

"No!" Scott said quickly, "No, nothing is wrong. These guys are just helping me with a project. That's all." He tried a smile that was too weak to be really comforting.

"Scott," Jillian said. It was short and demanding.

Daniel leaned over and spoke to Scott in a reasonable if defeated whisper that everyone could hear. "She won't leave you alone about it now, you know. She might not even leave me alone about it. But then she'll be mad at me if I tell her. So I'm kind of begging you here – man to man. Just explain it to her."

Scotty sighed. Cam, Rusty, Siler and Walter were very carefully studying the walls and floor and ceilings, looking as innocent as possible. Sam was just continuing to look confused.

"Do you remember a while ago when I asked you to go to the jewelry store with me?" Scott asked Jillian.

"Yes. You picked out a ring for Annie. But it's been so long I thought maybe you changed your mind. You didn't talk to me about it again and I didn't want to harass you about it," Jillian answered.

"I didn't change my mind! I love Annie. It just took me so long to pay it off. Then when I did, Daniel went with me and I showed him that bracelet you liked so much."

Jillian's eyes narrowed. "Daniel gave me that bracelet months ago. You've had Annie's ring all this time and still haven't asked her to marry you?" Even Sam was frowning now. Scott swallowed hard.

"I've wanted it to be perfect…and…and things have been really great with Annie! I thought for a while maybe we shouldn't mess it up by getting more complicated. But the Colonel and Rusty have been on my case about it. So I'm going to do it."

Jillian studied him for a long time before saying. "And you plan to do this hiding out in an empty storage room with five guys?"

"No! I–" Scott paused abruptly, took another long breath and looked hopefully at Daniel.

"He's going to ask her this week at First Thursday," Daniel explained.

"It's a little noisy and crowded, don't you think?" Jillian asked, skeptically.

"I'm going to sing to her, from the karaoke stage."

"Well that's very sweet, but I can't imagine you need five guys to help you prepare a song. You can sing just about anything off the top of your head."

"He's going to sing 'My Girl'," Daniel said, "And…"

"And?" Jillian prompted.

In a single rushed breath Daniel said, "We're going to be his 'Temptations'."

Sam choked back an audible laugh. Cam, Rusty, Siler and Walter all found a spot on the floor, wall or ceiling to be fascinated by. Scotty was looking determinedly at his boots. Jillian stared for a moment.

"You're going to be his backup singers?" Jillian asked her husband.

"Yes," he answered.

"On the stage at O'Malley's?"

"Yes."

"You – Daniel Jackson – are going up on the stage at O'Malley's?" Jillian demanded.

Daniel seemed to wince a little but then he nodded. Sam bit back another giggle and when Daniel looked at her she gave him smile, her eyes dancing in a way that was not the least bit apologetic.

Jillian continued. "And you're doing this because?"

Daniel shrugged. "Scotty asked me."

"That's it? Just because Scott asked you?" Jillian's eyes were wide and her expression was almost blank.

"Yes. Look, I know there have been times that you wanted me to sing with you and I've always said no. I've just never been quite drunk enough, but–"

Daniel didn't get any further. He had started the quick explanation because Jillian was walking towards him and he had no idea if she was pleased or not. She stood up on tiptoe, holding her soda cup out of the way with one hand, and wrapped her other arm around his neck. Gently she kissed his cheek.

"You're not mad?" Daniel and Scotty said in unison.

"I'm not mad! Idiot. That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. Annie is going to _love_ it. Isn't she, Sam?"

"Everyone is going to love it," Sam said, grinning broadly. "O'Malley's should sell tickets."

Cameron spoke up finally. "Let's not get carried away," he said in a slow drawl, eyes narrow.

"You can't say anything to her!" Scotty said, a little frantically.

"Of course we won't! That's not a surprise anyone wants to ruin," Jillian promised. She was still hugging Daniel and smiling at him as if he was the most wonderful thing in the world.

The men all seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Scotty leaned over and kissed Jillian on the cheek. "Thanks."

"No problem," she answered.

There was a moment of suspended silence in which the guys all looked like they were trying to make a graceful exit and Daniel and Jillian seemed to have forgotten the rest of them even existed. Then Sam said, with no small trace of mischief and challenge,

"So. How about a private preview?"

The corridor erupted with male voices protesting and female voices laughing.

(0)


	271. Chapter 271

October 5th, 2006, was First Thursday. It was early in the month, just as autumn was starting to crisp the air and turn the leaves, and the days were getting shorter. This particular night was rainy but not terribly.

They took Jillian's truck and Daniel drove. He had a red tie and his black suit jacket on a hanger on the hook over the backseat; and he was wearing one of her favorite pairs of jeans – just loose enough for him to move comfortably and just tight enough to make her mouth dry. In the truck he was wearing his brown leather jacket but under it had on a plain white button-down shirt, opened at the collar. They had, Daniel had told Jillian, managed to talk Scotty out of matching suits (especially ones that were all purple or all red), and Cam had refused to consider a bow tie. They had settled instead for jeans and white shirts and black suit jacket with red ties.

Jillian was getting shivery just thinking about Daniel dressed like that - male and handsome and indecently sexy. She was glad he was hers and that they were well and truly married and that everyone knew it. With him dressed like that, women would stalk Daniel, in cooperative packs. She had reached the point that she didn't even care if he sang with Scotty. She just wanted him to be happy and to be hers.

He caught her looking at him, seeing her even in the darkened cab of the truck from his peripheral vision.

"What?" he asked with a soft smile that had amusement and eternal love in it. Jillian knew she could live forever in his voice and in his smile.

"You know," she said, amused right back at him and just as much in love.

He glanced at her and his smile threatened to break out completely before he got it under control. Eyes firmly on the road he said, "Maybe."

She took pity on him. "I just can't believe Scott talked you into this."

"He didn't have to talk me into anything. All he had to do was ask," Daniel replied.

Jillian studied her husband's classic profile as the shadows of the passing lights played across his features. "And Cam dared you, didn't he?" Daniel snorted but she pressed him when he didn't answer. "Come on! Admit it!"

"Maybe a little. But it wasn't because of Cam. I owe Scotty your life a dozen times that I know of and probably a dozen more that no one has told me about. If all Scott ever asks of me is to step out of my usual comfort zone for four minutes in front of a room full of drunken coworkers, I can be okay with it."

"How about a room full of people with cell phones that can record video?" Jillian asked, mischievously.

"Oh god," Daniel groaned.

Jillian laughed. "Bet it goes viral."

Daniel ducked his head to hide the flash of a grin. "Stop it!"

"I can't believe you never let me have even the smallest preview!" Jillian protested again.

"It's nothing, Jillian. We sway and move our hands and arms and sing 'my girl' a lot."

"I still can't wait to see," she said, with her own delicious grin. There was a pause while Daniel switched lanes to prepare to exit the highway. "I really do love you so much for doing this."

He glanced at her again as he slowed on the exit ramp. "What would you have done if I had proposed to you like this? From the stage?"

"I would have murdered you on the spot!" Jillian answered, tartly. "And I certainly wouldn't have married anyone who would do something that was the antithesis of what I would want!"

Daniel didn't hide his grin this time. "I wouldn't have blamed you, and I wouldn't have done it anyway."

Jillian knew that was true. Daniel was certain of her and not above appropriate public displays of affection. But they didn't need to wear their relationship in all its glory in public.

"Annie will love it though," she observed. "She and Scott would be on stage all the time if their careers could be different. He tried out for several boy bands, you know."

"He did?"

"Yes," Jillian laughed. "One of those boy bands in the 90s might have looked much different if he hadn't decided to join the Air Force instead. He'd have been an instant teen idol too."

Daniel's smile was mysterious now.

"What?"

"Maybe in one of those multiverses out there that's exactly what happened."

"Maybe," Jillian acknowledged. "But tonight he's in the Air Force and part of the SGC and you're going to help him propose to the woman he loves in a way that she will never forget. The best part is that _your_ wife loves you to pieces for it."

Stopped at a red light at the intersection just before O'Malley's, Daniel let go of the wheel long enough to take her hand and squeeze it. "I owe him your _life_, Jillian. There is nothing Scotty – or Mal or Rusty for that matter – could ask me to do that would make me say no."

"I know," she said. "But it still makes me love you more right now than I did the day I married you. I wouldn't have ever thought that was possible."

They pulled away as the light turned green and turned into the parking lot. Daniel chose a spot, shut off the engine and turned to face her, reaching over to brush a stray lock of hair up into her ponytail.

"Just do me a favor?" he asked.

"What?"

"Don't record it?"

Jillian laughed, leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. "I won't."

"Good," Daniel sighed, sounding relieved.

They got out of the truck and he opened the door to get his jacket out of the back seat. Jillian hopped out of her side and put her hood up to hold off the rain. As they jogged to the front door to avoid getting wet, Jillian said, "I can just get a copy from Sam anyway."

She darted ahead of him, laughing. Daniel chased her up the stairs two at a time growling her name.

(0)

The place was already in full swing by the time Daniel and Jillian found their usual booth. Sam and Teal'c were already there. Cam, Scotty, Rusty and Annie were shooting pool. The karaoke stage was already rocking with the team from the biology lab torturing _New York, New York_, since most of them were from there.

As they slid into the seat of the horseshoe bench Jillian nodded towards the drink in front of Sam. "What's that?"

"It's called a Summer Rose," Sam said, offering her the glass to take a sip.

Jillian's eyes got wide. "Oh, wow. That's good. Do I want to know what's in it?"

"Probably not," Sam answered. "You might want to order one for Daniel."

Daniel shook his head. "No thanks. I don't want to look like a complete idiot while I'm making a fool of myself. Besides, I need to remember the steps."

"I thought you said all you do is sway and move your hands and sing 'my girl' a lot."

"There's a little more to it than that," Daniel hedged.

When their server arrived he ordered a glass and another pitcher of beer. Jillian ordered a Summer Rose and a bottle of Tequila Rose and shot glasses. Teal'c ordered another cranberry juice.

While they were waiting Sam got out her phone and showed them a series of pictures that Jack had sent her. A few were selfies of Jack and Jett hanging out at the cabin, and the rest were single shots of just Jett rock climbing and fishing and jumping off the dock.

"Aww," Jillian said, looking misty-eyed. "They both look so happy."

"Yeah, they spent the weekend at the cabin. He was pretty determined to have some quality father-son time."

"You miss them," Daniel said, shrewdly.

"God, yes," Sam sighed. "But I couldn't get away and I knew Jack wanted to spend time with just Jett."

"I'm surprised he's not here tonight," Jillian commented.

""He's in a conference call," Sam said, with resignation.

"It's 11pm in DC! Who is he talking to?"

"It's 1pm _tomorrow_ in Beijing," Sam answered.

"The Chinese still want their own 304?" Daniel asked.

"They seem pretty relentless about it," was Sam's answer. They exchanged a look, remembering the way the Chinese IOA representative had been acting, the things she had said.

"They should get it," Daniel said. He had never been comfortable with the US having so much superior firepower; nor had he been happy with the way the words of the treaty he had carefully crafted with Jillian's father had been twisted.

The conversation was halted when their server arrived again. Cam, Scotty and Annie also returned to the booth, squeezing in and refilling beer glasses. Rusty wandered off to find Mal's table. Annie asked their server for a Mojito and Sam opened the bottle of Tequila Rose and poured a round of shots.

It didn't take long for Sam, Cameron and Scotty to start swapping jokes and stories.

"Sam," Cam began, leaning forward over his beer. "You remember that time you got Shanghaied into flying that C-130 transport and I was escorting you?"

"Yes! You and – crap, what was his name? Morris?" Sam answered.

"Yeah yeah yeah! Morris. God, what a prick that guy was. You remember he kept cracking female pilot jokes at you?"

"He's lucky I didn't have weapons," Sam agreed.

"Yeah," Cam said, "So I try to change the subject and we get to debating the difference in the F-15 and C-130 and of course Morris is just going on and on about speed, and weaponry and maneuverability and I can tell Sam is just getting _pissed – _and she's already pissed about having to fly the damned C-130 in the first place_._ So she takes this for a while, and then says, 'Well I've discovered this thing can do things you guys have never dreamed of and wouldn't even consider doing,' and Morris is like sputtering mad and he says, 'Oh yeah, like what?' Sam says, 'Just watch this,' and we watch while the plane flies on the same course perfectly straight and level. Doesn't even wobble. Then Sam comes back on the radio and says, 'How about that?' Morris is just furious and he says, 'So what! It didn't do anything!' Sam says, 'The plane didn't. But I got up, walked around, got a fresh cup of coffee and hit the head. Gotta love autopilot.' What was it, like, a month before the guy talked to you again?"

"I could have lasted two," Sam answered, rolling her eyes, while Scotty howled and everyone else chuckled. "That guy was such a jerk."

They finished one pitcher of beer and ordered another. They talked some more and then Rusty got up from his seat at the table with Mal and gave Scotty a penetrating and very direct look. Scotty looked at Daniel and Cam with raised eyebrows and a question in his eyes. They nodded and did some maneuvering to get out of the bench. Watching for them, Siler and Walter got up from their table just across the dance floor and started towards them.

"Where are you going?" Annie asked.

"Um, men's room," Cameron said.

Wide-eyed, Scott nodded. Startled, Annie didn't say anything else as they marched off towards the main entrance in a group.

"When did guys start going to the men's room together?" Annie wondered.

Sam poured another round of shots. "Have a drink, Annie," Sam said.

(0)


	272. Chapter 272

As soon as the guys returned from their mysterious trip to the men's room, everyone knew something was up. Six men all dressed the same and heading for the stage was not something the highly-trained SGC personnel were likely to miss. Colonel Mallory stood up and joined them on the stage. While the rest of the guys got into headset mikes, Mal yelled into the standing mike, "All right, all of you shut up for a minute!"

Silence descended in a slow wave until it was complete and all heads were turned toward them. Mal waited until he knew no one was going to dare to make another sound and then turned to Scotty. "All yours, Lawrence."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Scott waited until Mal had made it back to his seat, then pulled his jacket down and said, "Annie, this is for you."

Sam and Jillian looked at Annie, who drew in a sharp breath and then just stared. When the opening musical phrases of _My Girl_ started to fill the room and the men on stage began to move – They stepped forward and crossed their left feet in perfect time, executed a pivot to the right followed by a clap. Five of them stayed facing that way for a moment as Scotty turned back. There was an immediate but short burst of appreciative whistles and applause. It died quickly when the guys turned forward again, still moving just their feet in time to the music, and Scotty began to sing.

_I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.  
>When it's cold outside I've got the month of May.<em>

Behind Scott his backup singers, put their hands on the lapels of their suit jackets and swayed, stepping back and forth and crooning "oohhh."

_I guess you'd say  
>What can make me feel this way?<br>My girl (my girl, my girl)  
>Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).<em>

The choreography was flawless. Scotty sang with all the smooth assurance of a man born for the stage. The men beside him continued in pantomime motions to the lyrics, moving back and forth, swaying. A complicated series of steps and placement changes that put Rusty and Walter in front with the other three behind them brought another round of applause and cheers.

The show was much more than swaying and sing 'my girl' a few times, as Daniel had earlier claimed. There was synchronized clapping and crisscrossing and mirror imaging, moving around each other with smooth precision. Cam was clearly enjoying showing off, hamming it up for all he was worth with Rusty and Walter going right along with him. Siler moved through the steps with military efficiency, hardly cracking a smile, while Daniel looked like he was trying very hard not to look directly at Cameron, lest he lose the battle against the smile he was fighting. And all the while Scott brought down the house with his gorgeous voice and rock star choreography.

_I don't need no money, fortune or fame.  
>I've got all the riches, baby, one man can claim.<em>

_Well, I guess you'd say  
>What can make me feel this way?<br>My girl (my girl, my girl)  
>Talkin' 'bout my girl (my girl).<em>

_I've got sunshine on a cloudy day  
>With my girl.<br>I've even got the month of May  
>With my girl<br>Talkin' 'bout  
>Talkin' 'bout<br>Talkin' 'bout  
>My girl<br>Ooooh  
>My girl<br>As long as I can talk about my girl... _

The crowd in O'Malley's went wild with applause when they took their final bow in flawless unison. Mallory put two fingers in the corners of his mouth and blew a sharp whistle to get it back under control as Scotty jumped down off the stage and went to where Annie was sitting on the edge of the horseshoe bench, maneuvered there by Sam. As wild as the applause had been, so was the sudden hush as the crowd got the first inkling of what was coming.

Annie drew in another sharp breath as Scotty skidded to a halt and got down on one knee. Annie seemed to stop breathing Taking her hand he said in a shaking voice, "Anani Kiminaka, aloha Au Ia 'Oe. I love you. I loved you the first time I saw you." He paused and took a breath, then blurted out, "E male ana anei 'oe ia'u? I wahine na'u. Will you marry me? Be my wife? Ke 'olu'olu? Please?"

He took a ring box out of his jacket pocket and held it out to her.

The room was utterly still. Midway through his speech Annie had put her fingers over her mouth and gotten tears in her eyes. It was obvious to everyone that she was too choked up to answer. Finally she began to nod, quickly. In a small voice she said, "Yes." Scott laughed in a breathless relieved way and put the ring on her finger. Annie looked at it in stunned amazement and then threw her arms around his neck and said, "Ae. Yes. Ko`u Aloha."

The noise shook the rafters as Scotty stood up, bringing her up with him, supporting her seemingly delicate five-and-a-half foot frame with his six-foot-plus one with little effort. Annie still had her arms around his neck. They stood in a kind of personal bubble of privacy while the room went crazy with cheers.

The guys then made their way off the stage, people slapping their shoulders and raising beer mugs in salute as they passed. Cam, Walter and Siler were soon surrounded by semi-drunk comrades and laughter. Rusty made his way back to Mal's table and got a huge hug and kiss from his wife.

Jillian stood as Daniel returned to them and hugged him as if she was never going to let him go.

"Did you coach him in all that Hawaiian?"

He nodded, with his face buried in her hair. "Which is ironic since Annie taught me Hawaiian in the first place."

Jillian laughed. "He did _great._" She whispered, fiercely. "_You _did great. I'm so proud of you."

Daniel looked down at her. "Yeah?" He seemed surprised.

"Yeah," she breathed, lifting up to kiss him lightly.

"I'm only proud of myself when I catch you looking at me," Daniel said, "the way you're looking at me now."

He kissed her once more, lightly but with lingering promise in it.

They turned as one to Scotty and Annie and let go of each other to offer them hugs and kisses. Daniel got a tight, grateful hand clasp from Scott.

"Ho'omaika'i 'ana," Daniel said, leaning down to kiss Annie on the cheek.

"Mahalo nui loa," she answered.

From across the room Gerald Mallory stood, raised his beer mug and shouted, "Scotty and Annie! Hoo-AH!"

The noise from the answering cry was deafening. "HOOAH!"

As the room settled down, the group slid back into the booth, breathless with laughter. Scotty was obviously stoked, grinning so broadly it looked like his face would split from it. As he and Cam and Daniel shared their memories of the time on stage, Jillian leaned over and whispered to Sam, "You recorded all that right?"

Sam was looking into her cell phone intently. "Oh yeah," she said, leaning closer to conspire.

"What are you doing?" Jillian asked.

"Are you kidding?" Sam answered, "This is going straight to Jack!"

(0)

**A/N If anyone is interested, I used the youtube video that is from the Temptations movie as inspiration. The guys in that one are all wearing purple suits though. I just couldn't bring myself to do that to the guys.**


	273. Chapter 273

**Daniel and Jillian share a series of phone calls during the events of Arthur's Mantle.**

**(0)**

"Hey," Daniel said into his desk phone.

"_Hi,"_ Jillian answered on the other end. "_What's wrong_?"

"How do you know something is wrong?"

"_Because it's __me__, and it's …__you.__ What's wrong?"_

Daniel sighed. "Where's JD?"

"_He's right here in front of me chewing on one of his biter biscuits_."

"Did you just have lunch?"

"_He did, but I was waiting for you. Should I stop waiting_?"

"Can I talk to him?"

There was a brief hesitation, during which Daniel thought Jillian might be losing patience with him. Then he heard her slightly muffled voice saying, "_Here, JD, Daddy wants to talk to you."_

He heard something then that sounded like the noise JD made when he was making a gooey mess of a teething biscuit. "Hola, JD. Esta tomando el cuidado de la mama?"

"_Tell Daddy, si_." Jillian's voice said distantly.

"Te amo, hijo," Daniel said. "Te vere pronto."

Jillian's voice got louder and Daniel knew she had put the phone back to her own ear. "_Did you mean that? Will you see us soon?"_

"No, probably not, but he's eight months old so who knows what 'soon' means to him."

"_Daniel_."

He could tell by her tone that now she really was out of patience with him; and he didn't have time to avoid the reason for his phone call any longer. "No, I don't have any idea when I will be leaving here. I know I told you I was only coming in for a few hours and then bringing some stuff home with me, but…"

"_What's happened_?"

"Sam and Mitchell have disappeared."

"_What_?"

"They've vanished and can't be found. They didn't sign out. They aren't answering any pages or their phones."

"_Asgard?Tok'ra?_"

"We haven't contacted them yet. Usually they at least tell us after kidnapping one of us. I have to stay, Jill. We're going through security footage of Sam's lab. That's the last place someone saw her. No one knows where Mitchell might have gotten to. We're not sure who the last ones were to see him. The guy can't seem to stay in one place for more than two minutes."

He stopped talking and there was silence between them that spoke in paragraphs. He had to stay. She wanted him to stay. Losing either of them was inconceivable.

"_Has anyone called Jack?" _she asked finally.

"No. No, I'm not going to freak him out until I've exhausted everything trying to find them."

"_Do you want me to come in and help you look? I can call Dad. JD will be going down for his nap soon anyway_."

"No," Daniel said, quickly and definitively. "No. Not with people disappearing. You stay there with the baby so that I know you're both safe."

"_That doesn't make me feel better about you staying there_."

"I have to, Jill."

"_I know_."

There was a very long pause before either of them spoke again.

"This is hard."

"_You'll find them, Daniel."_

"Yep. I have to go. I love you."

"_I love you too. Please keep me posted about this? I'm worried_."

"We all are, Bǎobǎi."

(0)

Jillian grabbed the phone on the first ring. When she saw Daniel's name on the caller ID she didn't know whether to be scared or excited.

"Daniel?"

"_Yeah. I found them. Sort of."_

"Sort of?"

"_Sam was working on one of the Ancient devices from Glastonbury and she seems to have triggered something that sent them into another dimension_."

"Another dimension? Like the quantum mirror?"

"_Um, no I think that was alternate realities_."

"What is the difference?"

In a rush Daniel answered, "_There are infinite alternate realities and according to Sam hypothetically there are only eleven alternate dimensions_. _It's what the Crystal Skull does_."

"When you were out of phase?"

"_Yes_."

"I still don't understand any of that! How did you breathe when the air is all in our dimension? Why did walls and floors and furniture still work for you, not to mention the _floor_? How were you able to sit on cabinets but not eat or drink? Why were you still under the force of Earth's gravity? Even if you were still causing space/time to curve, gravitational forces should have pulled you-"

"_Jill!" _She fell silent and heard Daniel sigh. "_Look, I know you picked up a whole lot of scientific knowledge out there with Scotty, but I can't answer any of those questions. Ask Scotty or talk to Sam when we get her back. You might have a better shot at understanding half of what she says than I do. Right now getting her and Mitchell back is my only problem."_

Jillian took a breath. "Okay. Do you want me to come in and help?"

"_No, I've narrowed it down to this device so all I have to do is go research Merlin and look for it. I have an idea of what to look for already."_

Jillian's heart gave a small flutter. Of course he knew what he wanted to look for already. He had already leaped far ahead of everyone else and connected two seemingly unconnected facts to arrive at a conclusion that others might never reach. Jillian had spent enough time with Sam to know that, for every question Sam thought of, she could come up with dozens of possible solutions, hypotheses and counter-theorems. Sam would then sift through all of them to find the best possible answer, no matter how unlikely or extreme. Wherever Sam was she was working on a solution.

Daniel's thought process was different. He had an uncanny ability to find an immediate answer and focus on that until it was either proven or disproven to his own satisfaction. If proven, nothing would dissuade him from it. If disproven he would find the next answer and set about proving or disproving that.

He was rarely wrong to begin with.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"_Not yet_," he answered and Jillian knew that meant he didn't have enough evidence to present it even to her.

"Then go and find them," she said, filling her voice with love and encouragement.

"_I will_," he promised.

"I have no doubts," she answered.

(0)

Daniel called again when JD was up and fussing. They were blaming JD's current Oscar-the-Grouch levels of grumpiness on teething, since they had eliminated everything else. He could hear his son's repetitive whine even before he heard Jillian's voice.

"_Shh, it's all right. It's Daddy. Daniel? Hello?"_

"I'm here. Is he okay?"

"_He woke up early from his nap. I gave him Tylenol and we're waiting for it to work. Did you find them_?"

JD's sudden unhappy wail drowned Daniel's answer. _"Shh, JD. It's okay, baby. Daniel? What?"_

Daniel made an impatient sound. He had to follow up on his hypothesis and try to make contact with Sam and Mitchell. "Look up the Mantle of Arthur online and I think there's a book in my office about the thirteen treasures of Britain. It should be on the desk."

"_Is this connected to how they got shifted to another dimension?"_

"Yes. You'll probably figure it out. But I'll call you back as soon as I can. Did you try that iced teething ring we bought him?"

"_I'll try that and I'll go find the book."_

"Okay, love you! Bye."

"_Love you. Bye."_

(0)

It was late and quite dark by the time Daniel finally got home. It was also pretty quiet. The upstairs lights were dimmed. There was a scented candle burning on the breakfast bar. Light was coming up the stairs beside the door to the garage and he could hear the sound of the TV. As he toed out of his loafers he called, "Jill?"

"Down here!" she called back, loud enough for him to know he was in no danger of waking JD.

In fact, when he jogged down to join them he found Jillian sitting on the floor watching JD cruise around the couch on two feet. The baby had pulled himself up just a few days ago and then spent a lot of time practicing while holding onto something for dear life. His wide-eyed amazement at his newfound skill had made both his parents laugh.

JD looked up when Daniel appeared, gave a happy squeal, slapped his hands on the leather couch and promptly lost his balance and sat down.

"Stand up!" Jillian encouraged while Daniel crossed the space between them, leaned over to kiss her quickly in greeting and sat down next to JD. JD crawled over, babbling incoherently, grabbed onto his father's sweater and pulled himself up again. Daniel smiled, let him sway there for a moment and then swept him up in a hug. They talked for a moment, Daniel in Spanish and JD is the continuous babble that only he seemed to comprehend. But Daniel and Jillian both played along with him anyway.

When Daniel finally put JD back on his feet against the couch Jillian said, "So. A weapon that can destroy Ascended beings."

Daniel looked at her sharply. Her feelings for the Ancients were well known to him and a source of chafing in their relationship. "Yes," he said, slowly.

"It's no wonder the Ancients didn't want Merlin to develop something like that."

"Unless he also figured out a way to protect his own kind while destroying the Ori?" Daniel hazarded.

"Maybe he no longer could see the difference," Jillian answered, not unaware that Daniel was trying not to make eye contact with her.

There was a long pause in which the muscles in his jaw worked to keep from speaking right away. JD took a step along the couch and then another and then he wobbled, caught himself and stood for a moment looking stunned. A smile tugged at Daniel's mouth and some of the tension ran out of him.

"Maybe," Daniel said softly, "he realized that some things are more important than being Ascended."

When he dared to look into her eyes again he could tell that she had given up the fight before it started. She inched over to him without getting up, curled up against him and slipped her arm through his. He turned just enough to bring his mouth down close to hers, offering. To his relief she kissed him. He rested his forehead on hers for a moment and then kissed her again.

JD took another step towards them, clinging to the couch and starting to whine. Daniel laughed and picked him up, settling JD in his lap.

"Why are you up so late, hijo?" he asked.

"You forgot to speak Spanish to him," Jillian said.

"He'll figure it out," Daniel answered, "He's smart like his mother."

"If he's lucky he'll be smart like his father," Jillian said. "He's up late because he took a very late nap."

"I'm glad," Daniel said, "I wanted to see him."

"When do you leave?" Jillian asked.

"Leave?"

"For the planet with the Gate address you found."

"Not right away. I need to do some research. Now that we know what it does, Sam is all over the Ancient device. I'll need you to help with the translation."

"You're not going back into the other dimension!"

He hesitated, bouncing JD gently on his knee. JD started gnawing on his own fist, drooling. Jillian dragged a basket of toys out from under the coffee table and gave the baby a teething ring.

"We know how to get back now, Jill."

"Daniel." She sounded agonized.

"Look, even Landry made us promise not to use it again unless it was absolutely necessary. I remember the text; I just need to transcribe it. You can help me translate it and then Sam will know what it says. That's all we're going to do right way. So let's please not argue about it now?"

His eyes were pleading so Jillian let it go. "Alright. I'll do whatever I can to help," she promised.

"I'd appreciate it."

"I want the Ori threat gone as much as you do, Daniel."

Daniel put his hand on the back of her head and drew her close. He knew what it was to live for-and with-everything that he loved best on Earth. He knew that, for some wild reason, he was blessed beyond what language could rendered into words. Jillian was his life as fully and completely as he was hers. He put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her, cradling their son between them. "I know you do, Bǎobǎi. I know you do."

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	274. Chapter 274

**A/N: The night before the events in Camelot….**

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Jillian hadn't protested when Daniel had insisted on putting the baby to bed. She had smiled, gotten him a bottle of milk from the back of the top shelf in the refrigerator, and gone off to soak in a hot bath. Daniel had warmed the bottle and walked in slow measured inches to JD's room with JD clinging to his finger and wobbling along with him.

Once in the nursery JD went down on all fours and crawled to the rocker, pulled himself up again and grinned in bright triumph. His son's eyes had turned the same deep forest green as Jillian's. His hair had stayed light brown with a fair share of red highlights. But everyone still said JD looked exactly like his father.

Grinning back, Daniel scooped him up high in the air just to hear him squeal with laughter. Then he changed him, put him in a pair of soft, fuzzy footed pajamas and sat down in the rocker. JD kept up a running dialogue all the while, with more and more of the babble holding the cadence and accents of Spanish. He already had a smattering of words in both languages, including water and agua (which had prompted Jack to nickname him Aqua Man and it appeared to sticking in spite of – or perhaps because of – Daniel's attempts to get him to stop).

After that he settled into the rocker, gave JD the bottle, and opened one of the books in the basket. Jillian had found a good sampling of books in many languages. Daniel picked out _El Camioncito Azul_, _La Galina Grande,_ and _Papá and Me._ The last book never failed to get him a little choked up and probably would again tonight. But he didn't care. He wanted this time with his son as much as he wanted to get through the Gate to find a way to defeat the Ori.

JD snuggled down and began sucking on the bottle, watching eagerly as Daniel opened the book. He decided to start with _Papá and Me_ because the story about the little blue truck and the big fat hen would help him quit being so choked up.

JD patted the picture on the cover. "Papá!" he said, happily.

"Sí," Daniel answered.

JD patted Daniel's cheek. "Papá," he said, confidently.

"Sí," Daniel said, kissing the downy hair on the top of his head. "Muy buena."

Satisfied, JD cuddled again and waited for Daniel to begin reading. He already had to swallow against the tightness in his chest. The depth of love he felt for his son was almost too overwhelming. Rocking gently and keeping his voice low and soothing, Daniel began to read, "When I'm with my papá, I can fly like an eagle, an águila. I can climb alto, high, in a tree; and I am the ganador, the winner, of many races. When I am with my papá, I hear the best cuentos, stories, and I give him the biggest abrazos, hugs…."

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By the time he had finished reading all three books and the one about the little blue truck twice, JD was fast asleep. Daniel put him down in his crib, tucked the blanket with his full name carefully embroidered on it all around him, turned on the nightlight and crept quietly out of the room.

Jillian was standing in the kitchen opening a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. She had already cut up a selection of cheddar and gouda and a fresh baguette. Daniel took the bottle from her and finished removing the cork.

"You know, most people just have popcorn with a movie," Daniel said. He was standing close enough to breathe in the clean, floral scent left from her bubble bath.

"Not tonight," Jillian said.

They were trying not to make a big deal out of Daniel's next mission – the one to the planet revealed by the interface with Arthur's Mantle. Daniel had picked up _X-Men: The Last Stand_ on his way home, along with the wine. It was just another trip through the Gate, even though something about it felt different, felt more urgent.

"Something special about tonight?" he asked lightly.

"I get to spend it with you."

Daniel stepped closer to her, moved his big, rangy body into her space so that they were touching. Jillian turned her head and Daniel twisted down to meet her mouth with his. It was a kiss filled with the promises he couldn't say out loud. He promised a future full of kisses from the sweet and tender ones to the wildly passionate, possessive kind. When he drew back again her eyes were warm and serene and she laid a gentle hand on the side of his face for a moment.

They stayed upstairs to watch the movie because neither of them wanted to get too far away from JD's room. Jillian checked on the baby one more time as Daniel put the food and wine on the coffee table and then they cuddled up close together on the couch.

Jillian inhaled deeply and then sighed happily.

"What?" Daniel asked as they waited for the FBI warning to play out.

"You smell so good," she said, inhaling again.

Daniel laughed because he had been thinking the same thing about her. "You do too."

"I mean it," she lifted up a little to nuzzle his neck. "Here you smell like _you_." Then she snuggled her nose into the arm of his sweater, "and here you smell like JD." Daniel laughed harder and she smacked him lightly on the chest. "Stop it. You're the two most important men in my life."

"Jillian," he said, in a soft exhalation of love and amusement and desperate affection.

For the first hour of the movie they sat quietly and Daniel lost track of the plot while he savored Jillian's closeness, her warmth, the sweet, trusting press of her body against his; the slight ripple of muscle when she moved, the surety of bone and the rhythm of her breathing. He took time to run his hand over her hair in a long, slow appreciation of textured silk.

It seemed Jillian was content to be silent and occasionally run her hand up and down the arm he had wrapped around her possessively, moving the material of the sweater over the skin and muscle beneath.

"You're awfully quiet," he observed finally.

She glanced up at him and smiled a little. "It's Hugh Jackman."

"Ohhhhh," he said, slowly. "Do I have competition?"

Jillian laughed. "No, not even remotely. But he's easy on the eyes, _oui_?"

"_Je ne sais pas_," Daniel answered. He let his voice drop to a low, throaty purr. "_Je ne peux pas arrêter de regarder vous."_

She laughed and snuggled closer. "You've been quiet too."

"Just enjoying the company."

"You're not worried about the mission tomorrow?"

Daniel shrugged. "Worried? No. Anxious, if you understand the difference."

Jillian nodded. Daniel, driven by guilt over unleashing the Ori in the first place, would not stop now until he had destroyed them. No one blamed him, but that didn't matter when he blamed himself entirely. She just didn't want him to destroy himself in the process of repenting. Guilt, Jillian realized, wasn't always a rational thing.

"I do, I feel the same way. I want you to find an answer, Daniel. I just…you know I hate it whenever you get involved with the Ancients. No, wait," she stopped him as he inhaled. "I don't want to argue about them. You know I'm scared to death that there's another Repository out there and the next time it will be your stubborn, impossible skull stuck in it. I won't ask you for promises. I never have and I never will. I know exactly what you will do and risking yourself will be the last option."

"That I can promise," Daniel said, linking his fingers with hers. He had forgotten the pain he had caused her. Somehow in the bliss of their life together since their wedding and the birth of their son, Daniel had forgotten how much he had made her suffer.

_It's always the innocent_, he thought, _who suffer the most in any conflict_. He thought of JD asleep in his crib in the next room, unaware and unconcerned about what his father would face the next day. He didn't have to think of Jillian. She was here and real and immediate. He was still running the fingers of one hand through her hair while keeping the other hand laced tightly with hers when she spoke again.

"When you're out there tomorrow," she said, "I don't want you to think about us, about me and JD. I want you to focus on what's in front of you."

"Everything I do is for the two of you, Jillian. I can't separate myself from that."

"I'm not asking you to," she assured him. "I just don't want you to worry about what's happening to us here. I'll take care of us."

Daniel looked down into her frank, loving eyes and was momentarily struck dumb. He owed all the parts of his life that were 'normal' to Jillian. She was incredible. He had given the Asgard a small piece of his DNA and Jillian had given him a son in return. He had bought Jillian a house and she had turned it into their home, their sanctuary. He had seen the ferocity of her loving nature. Daniel had no doubt that if a fire-breathing dragon ripped the roof off the house, Jillian would find a way to protect JD.

He kissed her hair and then bent lower to kiss her cheek. "I know you will. I'll concentrate on what I need to do, if that's what you want."

"It is," she said, softly.

"Consider it done," Daniel answered.

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	275. Chapter 275

Security had put together one long reel of Daniel on the day he had been hijacked by Vala. It had been necessary to determine if she had decided to do anything to the Base while walking around looking like one of its most trusted occupants. Jillian had avoided watching it at first. But then she had asked for it and Landry had handed it over without a single word. With Daniel off-world seeking Merlin's weapon, she slipped the disc into the DVD drive in his office computer and settled in the seat to watch.

Jillian would have known the exact moment it had happened even if Daniel hadn't told them the last thing he remembered before 'waking up' in the small room with everyone staring at him. Daniel had been in his office, reading the 6th-century work _De Excidio Britanniae_ by the historian Gildas. Daniel had been convinced that it held early references to Merlin in the form of a war leader named Ambrosius Aurelian. Jillian could tell the moment the Latin words on the page no longer made any sense to him. She saw the confused look, the blinking eyes. His hand went to his glasses and adjusted them, then took them off and immediately put them back on.

Then Daniel had stood up as if he wasn't sure how his body worked, stiff and slow. He ran a hand down over his abs, under the baggy shirt and then lower. Jillian had bit back a growl but the hand had stopped between his hips. Jillian understood the gesture now. But when she had first seen it she had muttered under her breath, "Yeah, he's ripped. The arms alone should have been a clue. You touch anything you aren't supposed to and the Ori will be the least of your problems."

She felt bad about that initial reaction, now that she knew Vala was pregnant and probably had just been reacting to the lack of baby bump. But the sentiment remained the same for the rest of the time she followed Daniel-who-was-no-longer-Daniel through the series of security footage shots. If Vala thought she was going to be cute and take liberties and just be forgiven for them, she would be in for a serious shock when they met again.

To her great relief, Vala seemed to get the hang of walking around in a larger, stockier and decidedly male body very quickly. The only time they lost track of Daniel on the reassembled footage was in the men's locker room. Mitchell had assured her nothing had happened in there except for Vala's brief attempt to mess with his mind.

When the security footage ended the interview with Vala began. She had never watched the actual video that had been recorded either. She had read the written report and heard it all in Vala's voice. It was harder to watch, but she had needed to hear the emotions. She watched it the first time with a stubborn refusal to react, listening carefully to the tale. She watched it again to take in the reactions of the people in the room. Then she watched it and allowed the emotions to wash over her. It was Daniel's body, Daniel's eyes that were haunted and often filled with tears. (Though why Vala had decided to ditch his glasses, Jillian didn't know. She doubted that prolonged body-snatching had suddenly given Daniel 20/20 vision.)

But it wasn't Daniel. It would have taken Jillian less than a second to know that, if she had not been off-world when all of that had happened. She knew it the way she had known all those Daniels from all those alternate universes had not been Daniel. When she was done, Jillian reversed the recording to watch a single segment over again.

_I was left out there, without food or water, three days._

A quiet descended on the room that was palpable even on the screen. Everyone was shocked. Every member of SG-1 had wanted to act but their anger was for an event already passed.

_I can't believe the baby survived that_. Sam, empathetic as always. Frankly Jillian couldn't believe either Vala or the baby had survived. She was already carrying a child in what amounted to medieval conditions. Jillian suppressed a shudder.

_Part of me was hoping it didn't_. She heard the horror in it, even though it was spoken in Daniel's deep, decidedly masculine voice.

_It's kind of surprising a part of you was hoping it did_. Was Jillian wrong or did Mitchell sound demanding? He wasn't happy about the pregnancy and Jillian suspected she knew why. She suspected Vala did too. She watched as Daniel's expression turned sharp and accusing, looking at Mitchell as if they had history.

Which of course they did, kind of. Not Daniel and Mitchell, but Vala and Mitchell, and Vala was looking at Cam with Daniel's eyes.

Soft and low, Cam went on. _I mean, given how it was conceived._

Jillian watched Daniel lower his head and stare at the table for a moment. When he looked back up his eyes were pleading for understanding, shimmering with unshed tears. The words were breathless, anguished.

_It's hard to explain._

The moment shivered through Jillian. She understood. Maybe she was the only one of all of them who would understand. No matter what else, this was Vala's child. Jillian knew what that meant.

Jillian sighed in frustration. The woman was maddening. Her best talents appeared to be flippancy, a mean right hook and the ability to get into situations that were just batshit crazy.

Still, Jillian could see it in the faces of SG-1. Mixed in with their relief at having Daniel back and seemingly unharmed, and the way they were fighting a feeling of helplessness in the face of Vala's intel, was the steely determination to rescue her. Somehow her last two actions had made Vala part of the SGC, part of them. It was clear that while the SGC was going to be forced to concentrate on the immediate threat of the Ori, they were also going to do whatever it took to get Vala back.

The rescuers would most certainly include SG-1, and that would put Daniel right in the middle of it.

She sighed again as she took the disc out of the machine and put it back in the case. "You better be worth it, Vala Mal Doran," she muttered softly. "You better damn well be worth it."

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	276. Chapter 276

Tag to SG-1 Flesh and Blood and SGA No Man's Land, which aired on the same day and were happening at the same time, after the credits roll…

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At least, Jillian thought, he isn't in that damned isolation room.

SG-1 had been beamed directly to the infirmary. In spite of being checked out on the Odyssey on the journey home, no one wanted to take any chances. Sam was gone already; having passed a second check-up, she'd been immediately beamed to Jack's Arlington office. Teal'c was actually in the isolation room, having been in what could be considered enemy hands.

When she walked in the medical personnel gathered around had parted like the Red Sea. They all knew better than to get between Daniel and his wife. He sat up when he saw her, reaching for her and she fell into his arms, almost sitting on the bed with him. Jillian buried her face in his neck and held on as if she would never let go. The way the muscles in his arms corded as he held her, she was pretty sure she couldn't have let go even if she had wanted.

Before she could stop them, tears filled her eyes, fell and touched his neck. Her composure was hanging by a thread anyway and now that he was in her arms again there seemed little reason to keep it. She wasn't even going to tell him that they had been in danger from the Wraith while the Ori were gaining a foothold in their galaxy. He'd find that out sooner or later and it didn't have to be from her.

She was peripherally aware of everyone else in the room melting away. For long moments time stood still except for Jillian's tears. She was aware of his hand moving up into her hair and his soft voice murmuring in Dutch, "Het is goed, ik ben goed."

Everything wasn't all right but he was fine and at the moment she didn't care about anything else. Dutch soothed Daniel. It had been his second language, taught to him by his mother, who embraced her Dutch heritage fiercely for all that she had been born in the US. She murmured back to him in kind, "Ik weet het. Dat is alles wat ik zorg over. Kunt u naar huis gaat?"

Daniel pushed her back a little to look into her eyes, wiping her tears with the sleeve of his green hospital gown. "Landry debriefed us on the Odyssey. He wanted to talk to Vala and there's some question about bringing her immediately down to Earth. No one wants to move her with her current injury anyway. Mitchell is with her."

"I understand she had the baby," Jillian said, gently.

"Yes, only it's not a baby anymore. She's growing by the minute and already more powerful than any Prior we've ever encountered—" Daniel cut himself off before he could really get wound up. Vala had saved his life and Jillian would need to know that. But he had just given a long tense verbal report and didn't want to rehash the whole thing now. Deliberately he changed the subject. "I have to write my report still." He smiled a little in a self-mocking way. "I had it all worked out in my head but now it seems to be gone."

"Then just come home," she said, "You can write it later, in the middle of the night like you always do. I missed you. JD missed you."

The mention of his son's nickname stirred something in Daniel's expression – love, tenderness and something that looked like grim determination.

"Daniel," Jillian said softly, and he subsided, gave up the urge to continue the fight against the Ori now, right now. Jillian often won an argument just by the way she said his name. The match was over before all the pieces were even on the board. He was helpless when she said his name like that. "Just come home for now and let all this go."

She watched him sag just a little in the aftermath of running on adrenaline for too long and took him back into her arms.

"Can I take you to bed?" he asked.

She smiled. "The answer to that is always yes."

Daniel kissed her. Maybe for tonight he could forget what had just happened – how he had been on a ship in space that was now nothing more than stardust and memory, then running for his life. Maybe for tonight he could forget the chilling way the Ori creation had callously ordered his death.

He would take Jillian home and then take her to bed. Jillian was his now. She was his lover, his opiate, his forgetting. She was his blessed sleep and his oblivion.

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	277. Chapter 277

**This is a cross post chapter. It is also chapter 277 of Sunshine and Shadow**

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Cam had been avoiding the discussion. He knew it, yet he still couldn't quite bring himself to start it. Part of it was fear that Jackson would turn him down. But today had been a turning point. He'd felt Vala's eyes on him all the time, even when she wasn't in the room. There was something new in her eyes the last few days, underneath the predatory look he remembered from before, the calculating look that had seemed tinged with warmth and affection before she had been swept off to the Ori galaxy. Now there was hope and pleading, and how one woman managed to get all that in one expression Cam had no idea. He only knew that sometimes it was easier to just go wherever her current would take him.

He had stayed late on the base and then started to drive home, leaving Vala behind, frustrated and angry with him because he was stubbornly refusing to share a bed with a married woman. There was a layer below the anger too, a quiet that had sadness around the edges of it. She was thinking that it had been a mistake to come back here and Cam knew it. The SGC might have seemed like a great idea when she was hiding in Ver Espa. But the reality of being back was very different. She wasn't quite a prisoner and wasn't at all a member of the SGC.

She was thinking about leaving and he knew it.

Over dinner earlier in the evening he had suddenly blurted out, "I thought the whole idea was that you wanted to stop running."

Vala had stared at him woefully over the top of her cup of hot chocolate. She had tried coffee, largely, Mitchell thought, because Daniel was hardly ever without a cup of it. She had soon discovered that she preferred the tea Jillian drank, or hot chocolate.

Her shrug was one-shouldered and resigned. "Maybe I can't," she'd answered, and gone back to eating.

Cam had been quiet through the rest of the meal because he couldn't find the words to ask her to stay and not break his heart any more than her marriage already had. He had his team, his friends, his 'family'. But he didn't think they were enough to piece him back together if Vala took off into the galaxy and disappeared forever.

Vala didn't say anything after that either. She didn't talk about her feelings and Mitchell didn't push her. But he was in love with Vala. He knew it and she knew it, and somewhere underneath all the emotions in her eyes that she wouldn't talk about, he thought she loved him, too.

Moving down the highway, the Mustang seemed to find the exit that led to Jackson's house of its own accord. There were still lights on, shining milky-soft through the front window. He pulled up to the curb outside of Daniel's house and dialed his number on his cell phone.

"_What's up_?" Daniel's voice asked a moment later. He sounded anxious. In their line of work, phone calls this late were rarely anything good.

"I'm parked in front of your house. Can I come in?"

"Something wrong?"

"No," Cam answered instantly, "I just didn't want to ring your bell and risk waking up the baby. I need a favor."

"Jillian is already asleep too. Meet me at the door downstairs. We'll talk in the office."

Cam felt a rush of gratitude more nerve-wracking than comforting. He could show up just before midnight and Jackson would be there for him. He shouldn't be so afraid of losing that. SG-1's loyalty was forever. The fact that there was genuine love among all of them was just a bonus. He shut off the engine and got out, locking the car. He walked around the stone path that led to the desert room at the back of the house and found Daniel waiting for him with the door open.

"Come on in," Daniel said, as if it wasn't the middle of the night, as if this happened all the time. "You want some coffee? Beer?"

Absently, Cam noticed that Daniel wasn't wearing his glasses. He'd always assumed Jackson was practically blind without them, but maybe he knew his way around his own house in the dark, and didn't need them all the time.

"Coffee would be great," Mitchell admitted.

"It's decaf," Daniel warned.

"That's fine."

The office in Daniel's house always felt far more like 'Daniel' than his office under the mountain. Maybe it was the colors or the windows, or the small shrine to the long-lost Abydos with the pictures of a family Cam would never meet.

They got coffee and sat down – Daniel at the desk and Cam in the chair beside it. Daniel pushed some papers aside to make a spot for the mugs and then shuffled a few more things until he found his glasses.

"So?" Daniel said. "What favor?"

Cam took a deep breath. Daniel loved to talk. He'd probably been talking ever since he'd discovered there were people who would listen. No one was surprised that JD was already talking. He wasn't speaking in sentences yet, but his word count – in two languages – was high and growing every day.

"I want you to talk to Landry about lifting the restrictions on Vala and making her a member of the SGC."

Daniel took a slow, thoughtful swallow of coffee and then sat with both hands around the coffee mug, staring at a point in space only he could see. "Yeah," he said, "I kinda figured as much."

"You did?" Mitchell asked, surprised.

"You're not that opaque," Daniel said drily.

"They let Teal'c join without a fuss," Cam said, defensively. "She has the same kind of connections and intelligence about the Ori that Teal'c had about the Goa'uld."

Daniel made a face that showed his distaste as he said, "There wasn't an IOA then."

"I know," Mitchell admitted. "But she's smart, smarter than she lets on, and she's clever. I know she gets into trouble, but she gets out of it, too. She's been to places we can't even imagine and can open those doors for us."

He wound down because Jackson still wasn't looking at him, but he at least appeared to be thinking about it. What Mitchell was thinking, but had the good common sense not to say, was, _She's wounded and alone and she needs this chance from us the same way you needed that chance from Katherine Langford eleven years ago. She's just like you were, abandoned and adrift and able to carry everything she owns in one hand. You know what that's like, Jackson, when no one believes you, when no one believes __in__ you. You needed to be trusted before you could trust. So does she._

"You want her to stay that badly?" Jackson asked.

The question wasn't about Vala's value to the SGC. The question was personal. In spite of how similar Vala's circumstances were to Jackson's when he had first come to the SGC, the doctor still might not make a case for her to Landry. But if it was something Cam wanted, well, that was different.

"I do," Cam admitted, quietly.

Daniel shrugged. "Then I'll try."

Cam blinked, almost dropped his coffee. "That easy?"

"I'm not sure it will be easy," he said, cautiously, "but I'll make a case for her. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why didn't you just ask Landry yourself?"

Mitchell considered that and admitted the answer to himself even if he wouldn't say it to Daniel. He was too close to it and his reasons for wanting her to stay were too personal. Coming from Daniel, the request couldn't be seen as anything but professional. Daniel only fought for things he believed in.

"You have more reach at the SGC than you ever use," Cam replied, finally.

"I'm not sure I'll take this as far as Jack," Daniel warned him. Acting powerless, Cameron knew, wasn't the same as the same as holding power in reserve.

"You won't have to. You'll be enough."

"I only promised to try," Daniel said.

"That's enough," Cam insisted.

Daniel didn't argue with him. "It's late. Why don't you crash here?"

Cam was startled. The Jacksons' guest room furniture was full of their clothes. The tall chest of drawers still had two drawers devoted to General O'Neill. The bottom two were Teal'c's. The mirrored dresser had an assortment of things that belonged to SG-8 and two bottom drawers and the closet were mostly for Sam. Sam had cleaned out one bottom drawer for Cam after they had survived the carnivorous insects at the Gamma Site and they had all hung out at Jackson's for the weekend, mourning the dead and getting quietly drunk and being glad they all still had each other to be quietly drunk with.

Cam thought about going home in the middle of the night to his empty apartment and said, "Jillian won't mind?"

"No," Daniel said, "In fact, she'd be mad if I let you drive home this late by yourself."

"She gonna be mad about you going to bat for Vala?"

Cam was secretly hoping that Jillian was thawing a little towards Vala, considering that Vala had risked her own life to save Daniel's on the Ori ship. Cam hoped that it made up a little for all the times Vala had put Daniel's life in jeopardy. Maybe Jillian would just call it even and be willing to move on. He sincerely doubted that Vala would ever have her own space in the Jackson's guest room closet.

"If she is, I can talk her around it," Daniel answered.

Cam nodded and suddenly realized how tired he was. He finished the coffee and stood up. "Thanks, Jackson."

The toothbrush he had opened after the Gamma Site was still in the little plastic bag in the downstairs bathroom cabinet. He washed up, brushed his teeth and walked into the guest room. Jackson's office door was closed but there was still a sliver of light escaping from under it.

Did the man ever sleep?

Stripping to his shorts and climbing in between the fresh, clean sheets, Cam realized that while the Ori were still a threat and guilt was still eating Jackson from the inside out, the answer then to that question was, "no." The doctor wasn't going to sleep until he had fixed all that.

Sighing, Cam settled down and, even though he doubted he would, fell asleep almost instantly.

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	278. Chapter 278

It had taken Daniel months to adapt to Jack's absence from his life, to get used to Jack not being at his elbow practically 24 hours a day. Some days he still missed Sha're and the people of Abydos so badly it was hard to even move. He had reached the point where he had to dig out old photos to remember what his parents and grandfather looked like. In Daniel's experience people who left usually stayed gone. That experience sometimes – most times, if he were honest – informed his life and affected his decisions. It was probably why he had come back so many times, just to prove that it could be done.

Jillian had never disappeared. Jillian was his constant, his north star, as he had told the entire world the day she had agreed to be his wife. Jillian took up space in his life and held his life together. Jillian grew roses and sang lullabies to their son and patiently picked up his dirty clothes and put them in the hamper. Jillian understood when Daniel didn't come to bed until 3 in the morning and willing moved over to give him the part that was already warm.

Daniel always knew that Jillian was there, would always be there.

He went into work and tracked down Landry and presented his case for putting Vala on the SGC payroll and then went home to Jillian. He stayed home after Cam left to drive back the mountain. He stayed in the place where he had decided to stay, with the person he knew would stay with him.

Daniel found Jillian at the top of the stairs in the laundry room, folding items of very small clothing. In her hands was a tiny t-shirt that proclaimed 'My Daddy is an Archaeologist'. He walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her and nudged her ponytail out of the way with his cheek so that he could kiss the sensitive spot on the back of her neck. She felt like an anchor, a port in a storm, even though his touch made her shiver a little.

"Verus Gen Bree," he whispered gently.

He felt more than saw the frown that appeared between her eyebrows. Her fingers came up, reached back and touched his face.

"Not quite Latin," she said. "It doesn't make any sense in Latin. Truth, race or generation, writ. In Ancient," she paused, concentrating, "there isn't any word 'gen' in Ancient."

"Truth written for the ages," Daniel said. "In context, anyway. But you're right. It isn't Latin, and it isn't quite Ancient. The Ori language isn't exactly the same as Ancient. There's been some serious long-term cyclic drift, especially in syntax and basic sentence structure. It's more Welsh, really, than Latin. Things went a lot faster when I realized that."

"So it's Ori?"

"In a way. In Welsh it's _Gwlad Gan Brenhinol Gwir."_

"Land of royal truth."

"Yes, eventually bastardized into the name of a planet."

He felt her body stiffen as she caught up with him. "Vagonbrei."

"Yes."

"Do you have a Gate address?"

"Not yet, but there's a book at work that may help, if I remember it correctly. It's one of the reasons I have to go into work."

Jillian stopped folding clothes and turned in his arms. "One of the reasons?" she repeated, questioningly.

"I need to talk to you about something," he admitted. Even to his own ears it didn't sound like a good kind of 'need to talk'.

"Uh-oh."

"Nothing is wrong. You might just be unhappy with me and I hate doing things I think will make you unhappy."

"Which never stops you from doing them anyway," she pointed out. She pushed him back lightly and took his hand. "Come on. I made cinnamon rolls and coffee."

"_That's_ why the house smells so good," Daniel commented.

There was something calmly domestic about a house that smelled like cinnamon and coffee. He perched up on one of the stools at the breakfast bar and watched her moving around the kitchen. There were times, when things seemed the most bleak, that Daniel still wanted Jack and Sam and Teal'c and their unwavering comfort, and it always felt like a disservice to Jillian. Jillian would hold him and stand by him – right or wrong – and Daniel would still want his old team beside him and it wasn't fair at all to her.

He wanted Jillian to sit beside him now and understand. Maybe she would, but in Jillian's experience, most people who left didn't stay gone at all.

She didn't ask him anything, just poured coffee and put some icing on a cinnamon roll and brought it to him. Then she slipped up onto the stool beside him and waited while he ate some of it. Daniel sighed and pushed the plate back after a few bites.

He was tired suddenly. It had been a long night and an even longer morning and he was tired of making life-and-death, all-or-nothing decisions. He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes for a moment.

"Daniel?"

He looked up and into her eyes and suddenly his heart felt a little lighter, because at least with Jillian it was still whole and unbruised.

"I love you," he said.

"Uh-oh," she said, again.

"Only you," he said, emphatically.

"Okay." She actually laughed a bit.

"I mean it."

"Daniel! What on earth did you do?"

"I haven't done it yet."

"But you're going to."

"Not without telling you."

"_Daniel."_

"Alright!" He held up his hands in surrender, "I'm going to ask Landry to lift the ban on Vala's freedom of movement. In fact, I'm going to ask for her to be evaluated as a possible member of the SGC."

There was only concentration on her face, the same look she got when she was translating a particularly tricky section of text. "Why?" The question was soft and not at all accusatory.

"Well, there are a lot of reasons," he began, "a lot of really good reasons that have to do with information and intelligence and being at war. But really there was only one that made me decide to do it."

"And that is?"

"Mitchell's in love with her."

Jillian looked startled and took a moment to sip at her tea. "Well, I _know_ that, but how did you figure it out?'

"How did I? Wait, what? How did you know?

"It's pretty obvious. Underneath all that good ol' boy charm, he's as transparent as glass. He wasn't just spending time with her because you asked him to. He wanted to. I figured it out watching them dance that last night she went to O'Malley's with us. So did Sam."

"I know! Sam told me. Does the whole SGC know?"

Jillian smiled a little. "I don't know about the whole SGC, but all of SG-1 knows. Is that really why you're going to do this? Just because Cam is in love her?"

"Yes," Daniel answered. He took both her hands in his and stroked his thumbs over them. "I… I kept thinking about Sha're, how she vanished through that Gate and I had no idea where she was. I sometimes feel that way when you leave, that's why I'm never there when you do, only when you come back. And I only let you go because you'd hate me if I ever tried to stop you, and I trust the three men who go with you to do everything in their power to protect you. I kept thinking about Mitchell watching Vala leave and maybe never getting the chance to find out what could have happened. I thought of him spending years trying to find her the way I searched for Sha're, the way I would search for you. I never stopped to consider how big the galaxy really is until I was searching for someone lost in it. I couldn't let that happen to Cam, Jillian. Not if it was even remotely in my power to stop it."

When he stopped Jillian wiggled a hand free and put it up around the back of his neck. Daniel took a deep breath and let it out and saw once again how clearly her love for him was written in her eyes. He knew then that it was okay, as okay as it got to be and maybe more.

She was stroking the back of his neck, fluffing the fringe of hair that lay there. "Daniel?"

"What?"

"What if she breaks his heart? What if she just doesn't – or _can't_ – love him the way he loves her?"

Daniel sighed again. He had thought of that. Vala could be a train wreck, a class-5 hurricane. Vala was a million chapters of a story in which he couldn't tell the fiction from the truth. All of this might be part of an elaborate manipulation on her part, starting with yanking Cameron's heart around and ending with Daniel standing in Landry's office asking for exactly what she wanted.

But that was actually Cam's problem.

"Mitchell knows all that, Jill. He knows what she is and I think he even knows he might be in over his head. That part isn't our choice to make. But he has to also know that if she breaks his heart she'll have all of SG-1 to answer to for it." He stopped when Jillian leaned forward and kissed him. "You're not mad?" he asked.

"I'm worried about Cam, but that's all. If she stays, so be it."

Daniel took her chin in his hand and tipped her face up. "She's no threat to you."

"It wouldn't matter if she was. You're free to go, Daniel. If you want to be with someone else I wouldn't try to stop you."

The idea made his throat close up and his heart clench in his chest. "But I could never come back to you," he concluded.

"No," she said, sadly, "I love you, but I have too much self-respect for that. Your choice is to be with me, or not. There is no gray area."

Daniel slid down off the stool and put his arms around her. "_Omnia vincit amor,"_ he murmured. "_Et tantum te amo te._"

She smiled against his mouth and pulled him closer, kissing him again. Somehow Daniel's hands found their way under her shirt to run up and down her back. Jillian shivered again.

Their son chose that moment to call out from the nursery, his voice echoing on the monitor sitting on the kitchen counter. Jillian groaned and Daniel laughed a little.

"Rain check?" he asked, nuzzling into her ear.

"We can try to get him to sleep earlier tonight than usual," Jillian suggested, clinging to him a little tighter.

"We'd have to accept that tomorrow will start before dawn," Daniel said.

She smiled, kissed him with promise and with love and said, "It will be worth it."

(0)

Et tantum te amo te = I love you and only you

Omnia vincit amor = Love conquers all


	279. Chapter 279

Vala came bouncing into Daniel's office with the clear intention of using the computer. Some of the enthusiasm ran out of her when she saw Jillian already seated at the desk.

"Oh," she said, stumbling to a halt just inside the door. "Were you going to be much longer?"

Jillian hesitated. The truth was, she had been on her way home. Her father was on his way to the mountain with JD. Alexander had been called out of retirement to travel to the planets he had negotiated treaties with, to warn them of the Ori threat. It had taken some juggling to sync his schedule with SG-8's and SG-1's. Jillian's intention had been to meet her father on the surface and take JD straight home.

But she wasn't going to leave Vala unguarded and seated at Daniel's computer. She really wasn't going to leave Vala unguarded at all.

Inwardly, Jillian sighed. "You want to use the computer," she said, unnecessarily.

"I was hoping to, yes," Vala said, with a smile too bright by several megawatts.

"All right, come here," Jillian said, closing the windows she had open and logging out of her account.

Suddenly wary, Vala asked, "Why?"

"I'm going to make you an account so you can stop hacking Daniel's."

"Really?" The bright smile was back.

Defeated, Jillian sighed out loud this time. "Yes."

Vala peered eagerly over her shoulder. "You can do this?"

"Not technically. Our IT department is supposed to handle setting up accounts. But Sam showed me how."

She got the account started and then stood up and offered her the chair. "You just need to make a password. And in case you're wondering, I changed Daniel's about fifteen minutes ago. You have _this_ account now, which should keep you from accidentally deleting everything he's worked for ten years to build." She frowned at Vala, "I have to go get my son. Will you be all right here?"

Vala was tapping keys, happily experimenting with different passwords. "What? Oh yes, I'll be fine. I just need to look up some personality tests."

"Personality tests?" Jillian repeated blankly.

"For my psychological evaluation." The intensity of Vala's smile had gone up several candles' worth. "You do know that Daniel asked for me to be permanently accepted into the SGC?"

It was a dare the way Vala said it, and Jillian knew it. But she wasn't going to spar with Vala over Daniel. It was a match Jillian had already won, and she had no interest in the exercise.

"Yes I do. He discussed it with me first," Jillian said.

"He did?"

"He did."

"Oh. Well. What was your evaluation like?"

"I didn't have one. I came into the program within the first month of its existence. Daniel recommended me from my reputation and field work, I signed a nondisclosure agreement, they told me about the program, and I couldn't sign up fast enough."

"They brought you in on Daniel's recommendation alone?"

Jillian shrugged. "Things were different then."

"Different how?"

Jillian started to answer, and then realized her father was probably already in the parking lot and wondering where she was. "I'll explain later. I have to go get JD. Have fun, but not too much," she cautioned.

Vala gave her that irritating smile, the one that made everyone wonder what she was up to. She gave Jillian a cheery wave with her fingertips and then turned back to the screen. Jillian watched her for a moment but it seemed that all Vala had done was type something in a search engine and was patiently waiting for the results.

Annoyed and refusing to give into it, Jillian turned and headed for the surface.

(0)

Jillian walked her father to the Gate Room to see him off. Then she went immediately back to Daniel's office. Landry's office had been deserted, so she didn't get the chance to ask if it was alright for JD to stay on the Base for a while. The General had a soft spot for the little guy and turned a blind eye to his presence more often than not.

Fortunately she ran into the General in the corridor outside of Daniel's office. He waved away her apologies and explanation about not wanting to leave Vala with the computer for too long.

"Don't worry about it," he said, in his long drawl. "He hasn't started saying 'unscheduled off-world activation' yet, so it's not a problem."

Relieved, Jillian had hurried to the office to see Vala chewing on a pencil and staring at the computer screen.

"Jillian," she said, slowly, "what's a tortoise?"

"What?" Jillian asked.

"What's a – oh!" Vala had turned and seen JD, and immediately stopped talking.

Jillian didn't take notice at first. She was too busy shutting the door, checking under the table for loose wires and pulling out the basket of toys they kept there for JD. She sat JD on the floor and dropped the backpack they used as a diaper bag onto the counter.

"It's a kind of turtle. Why?" she said, finally turning back to Vala.

"A kind of what?"

Exasperated, Jillian walked to the computer and pushed Vala aside. She typed 'tortoise' into an image search and then stood back.

"That's a tortoise."

"Oh. Well. I suppose being on its back would be rather a problem for it."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"This question on the personality test I found."

Jillian peered at the screen and read, "You see a tortoise that's lying on his back in the hot sun. You recognize his plight, but – _bái mù._"

"What?" Vala asked, looking up in confusion when Jillian stopped.

"They're not going to ask you this," Jillian said firmly.

"You know, General Landry seemed pretty certain they weren't going to either."

"Well he's right!"

"How do you know?!" Vala demanded.

"Let me guess, it's the Voight-Kampff test?"

"Yes."

"Vala, that test is fictional. It's from a movie. It was designed to tell robots from real people."

Vala turned back to the screen and read it again. "How would a question like that tell a robot from a person?"

"It's designed to evoke an emotional response."

Vala's eyebrows knitted. "That could be a problem then since I didn't have an emotional reaction."

"You didn't know what a tortoise even was."

"Well, that's true. And now that I do know, I wonder why no one would help."

"Tortoises actually don't have much trouble righting themselves," Jillian began and then stopped and shook her head, "Vala, they aren't going to use questions from a fictional test. We have other ways to determine if you're a robot."

"Then what are they going to ask?"

"I have no idea. But you aren't going to be able to lie and fake your way through it."

Vala sat back and chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. JD chose that moment to crawl over to her, kneel up and grasp her pant leg and haul himself to his feet. He stood there staring up at Vala, who stilled and stared down at him as if he was the most alien thing she had ever seen.

Jillian was starting to reach for JD when Vala asked, "Would he let me pick him up?"

Her voice was strained and wistful and so far away that Jillian couldn't quite get a read on it. "I'm not sure. But he's curious about you or he wouldn't be standing there."

Vala gave a slight snort. "He's probably just wondering who this crazy woman sitting in his father's chair is."

There was a trace of her old bravado in the phrase but she seemed to shake a little as she leaned over and put her hands around JD and lifted him up into her lap. She seemed hesitant, ready to put him down in an instant if he so much as made an unhappy sound.

But JD settled into her lap and gurgled happily, spouted an incomprehensible string of babble and then grasped a fistful of Vala's hair and tugged.

"Oh, now wait just a minute, I don't think we know each other quite well enough for hair pulling," Vala said, calmly as she gently worked his fingers free.

Jillian leaned over and pushed everything on the desk out of the way of JD's questing hands. She went to the small fridge under the counter and got him a bottle of juice. JD grasped it eagerly and then snuggled back against Vala and began to drink.

Vala froze briefly, with a startled and incomprehensible look on her face. Then she seemed to genuinely relax and even smiled a little.

Without looking up from JD she said, "You were pregnant when I was here before."

"Yes,' Jillian said, since there was no use denying it.

"No wonder Daniel went wonko every time I said something about being pregnant or making babies together."

Jillian's eyebrows nearly arched off her forehead. "You said that him?"

"Oh yes," Vala said carelessly, "In case you didn't notice I rather enjoy goading Daniel. It's so easy. But when I said I'd name the baby after him he almost choked the life out of me while simultaneously trying to put me permanently in a concrete wall."

Jillian blinked and sat down hard on one of the stools at the work table. "Wow. You're very lucky to be alive."

"Can I ask? JD? I assume the D is for Daniel."

"His first name is Johnathan, after a friend."

"Whose last name is O'Neill?"

"Yes."

"Hmm," was Vala's only answer. She started rocking the chair a little bit. After a moment she said, "I never got to hold her at all."

The moment that followed was filled with hushed, reverent silence. Vala appeared momentarily shocked that such a blunt, honest statement had somehow slipped past her defenses. She fixed her eyes on the top of JD's sunny red head and didn't move.

Very gently, Jillian said, "Daniel told me what happened."

Vala nodded but still didn't look up. Jillian knew a moment of heart-wrenching sympathy. If someone had tried to take JD away from her in the seconds after his birth, she would have burned the whole world down to get him back.

The difference being that Daniel would have been right beside her the whole time. Jillian had no illusions about Daniel's willingness to protect them with his own life. Daniel knew exactly whom he would die for now.

The other difference being that Vala's child was the messiah of an enemy bent on burning the world down.

"Is there anything Daniel doesn't tell you?" Vala asked, looking up finally.

There was hesitation and something else in her eyes. Vala was practically vibrating with a wary tension. It seemed obvious that she was not used to telling anyone anything. Ever.

"I'm sure there is," Jillian said, lightly, uncertain how to proceed. "There are things that have happened to me off world that I would just as soon he didn't know." She paused, inhaled a little as JD reached up once again for a lock of Vala's hair and this time Vala let him have it. Satisfied, the baby settled back down with his juice and his handful of black silk. Jillian knew her son well enough to see how content he was. Whatever emotions this was pulling out of Vala, JD was unaffected by them. "Vala," she said, "I can't imagine what it must have been like."

"Actually, Jillian, I think you are probably the only one around here who can." Vala stopped and took a breath that seemed to push all the brash, irreverent sarcasm she presented to the world back outside, protecting her, where it belonged. "I thought I would have her early years to shape her, have some effect on her. Instead, her early years passed in moments that I had no part in. The next time I saw her she was the equivalent of eight years old. The time after that, she was pushing puberty. I imagine she's an adult now. I….I don't know whether to hope she stopped or hope that somehow she just kept going into old age and—" She stopped abruptly and looked down at JD.

Tears pricked Jillian's eyes and she fought them down. No one should have to wish her own child dead. No one.

"I knew what she was. I could have stopped it and I didn't. Now I wish I had." Vala had started to pick delicately at JD's hair, where it curled below his ear.

"I doubt they would have let you," Jillian said. "They knew what she was too. You can't blame yourself for anything that happened to you."

"I don't," Vala said quickly, then added thoughtfully, "At least I don't think I do."

"You did what you always do," Jillian said. "You survived."

She got a sharp, shrewd look that lasted only a second. "I suppose that's true enough," Vala admitted.

"Is that why you want to stay here now?" Jillian risked asking. It seemed to Jillian that Vala had made a habit of simply leaving a place as soon as it became too hard to be there anymore. She wasn't sure how well that boded for Cameron.

"Is what why?"

"This is the best bet for your survival against the Ori?"

"Among other things," Vala shrugged, not trying to deny it. Jillian decided she really didn't want to know what the other things were, yet at the same time hoped one of them was Cam.

JD finished his juice and dropped the bottle on the floor. At the same time he let go of Vala's hair and leaned forward, reaching for his mother. Vala handed him into Jillian's willing arms. Then she picked up the bottle from the floor.

"He's beautiful, you know," Vala said.

Jillian surprised herself by asking, "Why don't we go get some ice cream and forget about pysch evaluations and the Ori for a little bit?"

Jillian wasn't as surprised as Vala obviously was, but she recovered quickly. "Should I…what is it? Log out?"

"I think you probably should. I don't think you're finding anything in there that's really going to help you," Jillian said.

Vala turned around and played with the mouse for a moment before finding the button she needed and clicking on it. She stood up. "Thank you."

It was another thing in a long line of things Vala had said in the last few minutes that startled Jillian. As they walked to the door together, Vala asked, "Does JD like ice cream?"

"He doesn't get it very often, but yes, he enjoys it very much."

"He's smart," Vala said, then added quietly, "Like his mother."

Jillian didn't know how to answer that, so she just held the door and then followed Vala into the hall.

(0)

_bái mù_ - literally, white-eyed, blind. Here it means not understanding the situation and reacting in a wrong way as a result.


	280. Chapter 280

**Cross posted chapter from Moonlight and Steel.**

**(0)**

Jack glared at Hank Landry's image on the computer screen and growled, "The IOA did _what_?"

Carefully, like a man handling a rattlesnake and thinking 2,000 miles wasn't enough distance between them, the man in command of the SGC said, "They countermanded my order to bring them home. They said the risk is too great. It could be another Prior plague."

The two men stared at each other across the space between them with absolute understanding. When push came to shove, Jack was more powerful than the IOA. Not on paper, but in reality. The right words in the right places, the right message out into space to the right allies, and the IOA would crumble before his eyes.

"I know how badly you want to stick it to them, Jack, but this isn't the time," Landry cautioned, knowing the connection was as secure as O'Neill's Asgard technology could make it.

"I don't want to stick it to them. At the moment they're the devil I know. I just want them to get the hell out of my way. There's no way we let SG-1 just fall asleep and die." Jack's voice had a layer of poison under the usual calm.

"Are you going to take this higher, then?" Landry asked.

Involuntarily, Jack glanced at the red phone on the corner of his desk. He wasn't the kind to go running to Daddy when the other kids wouldn't play nice. He abandoned the thought immediately and shook his head. It wasn't time to play that card. He wasn't powerless in this case. He'd been a small-unit undercover Special Forces agent for the better part of three decades. Now he was leading a guerilla war against overwhelming odds across the vast expanse of galaxies. He was still learning to use that kind of power, but he was already a force to be reckoned with. He'd accepted the job and the extra set of stars so that _he _would be where the buck stopped, and right now the IOA be _damned._ He'd go get her – _all of them –_ by himself if that was what he had to do. He answered Landry, "No. In this case, I _am_ higher."

Landry nodded. "So what do you want me to do?"

"Send in a retrieval team and bring them _all_ the hell home, in full quarantine, and do it _now_."

"And the IOA?"

"I'll cover you with them," Jack answered.

"Is that an order?" Landry asked.

"Do it _now_, Hank," Jack repeated.

"They're already dialing the Gate," Hank responded.

In the background, Jack could hear the familiar sound of the chevrons encoding. "I want to be told the minute the Gate dials to bring them back."

"Understood," Landry said, and signed off the connection.

Jack hit the intercom button with more savagery than was really needed. "Pribley!"

"_Yes, General_?"

"I want Mr. Richard Woolsey in this office in the next fifteen minutes, and if I don't get that I'm going to be _very_ unhappy."

"_I'm on it, sir_," Pribley answered sharply.

Jack grunted with satisfaction. Pribley looked a lot like that kid Sherman who used to travel through time with Mr. Peabody. But the kid got things done the way Jack liked. He adjusted the name plate on his desk and reached for his discarded tie.

He'd sit Woolsey down in the chair across from his desk, with the Air Force flag over his right shoulder and the United States flag over his left and look the man straight in the eye. Major General Jack O'Neill could end all their careers over a sandwich and coffee in the Oval Office.

Hopefully the man was smart enough to get the message.

(0)

He was standing in the control room when they came home, when the casket like quarantine units were carried back through the Stargate. He was shaking inside – from anger or anxiety he didn't know for sure. Maybe a combination of both. He'd left Woolsey still sitting in the chair. He'd given him strict instructions to vacate the office before he got back.

"I want updates on their _exact_ condition and I want to know when they're cleared," Jack said, over his shoulder. He'd caught a flash of blond hair in the second unit to be carried through and couldn't stop watching as it disappeared out into the hall on the way to the isolation wards.

He didn't say if. He said when. He expected them to make a full recovery and he expected to be told about it immediately. Landry pitied the poor medic that tried to tell him differently.

"You'll be the first one I call," Hank said.

A second later there was a flash of light and O'Neill vanished.

(0)


	281. Chapter 281

Jillian stood in the hallway outside the isolation rooms and waited impatiently for Carolyn Lam to exit with yet another report on Daniel's condition. She was more grateful than she could possibly express that Jack O'Neill was standing right beside her. As much as Jillian loved Daniel, he often brought chaos into her life without meaning to. It was always Jack who seemed to turn chaos into order, confusion into clarity. She knew he was there primarily for Sam, but this was all of SG-1 and he was there for them too.

She also knew that even if the only way she could ever pay Jack back for everything he had done for them was to say a simple and sincere "Thank you", Jack would think that was too much.

When Dr. Lam finally appeared, Jillian had to physically stop herself from stepping closer to Jack, just to get closer to the aura of safety he projected. Fortunately, the news was the best she had been given since this whole nightmare had begun.

"The parasite is dead and there is no further sign of any kind of infection."

Jillian exhaled audibly. If Jack had a reaction it wasn't apparent to anyone. The man was as still as stone.

"And?" he prompted.

"They've all been given a mild sedative. Ironically what they all need is real sleep after fighting it for so long. They should all wake up on their own in a few hours."

Jack nodded. "Can we see them? Stay with them?"

"I don't see why not. But all they're going to do is sleep. Teal'c and Colonel Carter are in Isolation 2. Dr. Jackson and Colonel Mitchell are in Isolation 1. I'll be here the rest of the night to keep checking on them."

"Thank you, Carolyn," Jillian said. She was getting used to trusting the new doctor with Daniel, but Carolyn seemed to have the same core of determination and backbone that Janet had always displayed.

Carolyn nodded and turned to go back to the infirmary. To Jillian's surprise, Jack turned to follow her into Isolation 1. She cast a questioning look at him.

"I want to see them first," he explained.

Jillian understood then. Once he had satisfied himself that Cam and Daniel were all right, he was going to park next to Sam and not move until she did. Jillian intended to do the same with Daniel.

She sank into the chair beside Daniel's bed after a glance at the monitor showed everything registering normal. She reached for his hand and curled hers around it, even though she wanted to take it and press it hard over her aching heart. Patience, Jillian thought, so much of being in love with Daniel was patience and waiting.

After a long moment of scrutinizing both men, Jack said, "Are you sure you want to stay? It's late. You could go home. We'll call, keep you posted. If you don't feel up to driving I can get a car for you."

"No, I want to stay here with him. Scotty and Annie are home with the baby. He's fine. He's asleep too, so he won't miss me."

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"All right. I'll be next door if you need anything." Jillian's eyes teared up as she realized how much she missed Jack and how much worse it must be for his team – for Daniel and Teal'c, and especially for Sam. Jack had never been the kind of leader who seized power. He understood, innately, that a leader didn't use other people to become strong. What made Jack the man he was, the thing that made up the heart and soul of the former leader of SG-1, was his willingness to give his strength to others no matter what his own circumstances were.

As he started to leave, Jillian said, "Jack?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you." It sounded exactly as inadequate as she had known it would but she said it anyway.

Jack shrugged. "No problem," he said, simply.

(0)

Daniel didn't move when he slept. Jillian knew that. He would come to bed late, spoon up against her, wrap her in his arms and not move until he woke. He rarely had nightmares anymore; or if he did, he managed to keep it from her. She knew him well enough to know that right now Daniel was profoundly asleep. She thought there might be the occasional flicker of his eyes behind his closed lids, and she hoped that he was dreaming something comforting or cathartic.

He was even more beautiful when he slept than when he was awake. Sleep gave him an innocence that was almost childlike, something experience and tragedy had robbed him of in his waking hours. Jillian sat in the chair beside his bed with a book across her knees and half her mind on what she was reading and the other half riveted on Daniel.

Sometime after midnight Carolyn came in to check on Daniel and Cam again before logging out of the infirmary and going to her quarters to catch some sleep of her own. Jillian watched her carefully, still assessing this new presence that stood where Janet had once been. Carolyn was professional. Her eyes on the monitors and her hand on their wrists couldn't have been more appropriate. But still, Jillian got the feeling that these men were more than just bodies in her care. They were people, sacred persons, important to their loved ones and worth the extra effort to save.

It wasn't fair, Jillian knew, to keep measuring every doctor who came to the SGC against Janet.

"You should go home, Jillian," Carolyn said when she was satisfied that both men were still just sleeping, safe and sound.

"No. I want to stay. I can't leave. I'd just worry and come back here anyway."

"You could just go to your quarters and get some sleep."

Jillian shook her head. She couldn't lie in her own bed and feel Daniel's phantom body lying close to hers. It would only emphasize that he was far away. But she did stand up and set her book on the chair.

"No, I'll stay," she repeated. "But I am hungry, now that I know he's all right. I'll go see what the commissary is serving at this hour and come back."

Carolyn bit down on her lower lip for a moment and then said, "Okay. But by the time he wakes up, you'll be exhausted."

Jillian smiled a little. "Then he can sit beside me while I sleep."

Carolyn seemed startled and then she smiled back. "Sounds fair."

They walked to the elevator together. Carolyn got out on the floor where her quarters were located and Jillian continued to the commissary. The place was nearly deserted except for a few airmen and marines coming off shifts. SG-13 was occupying a corner table, having just returned from off-world. They were sharing a pizza and trying not to stare at the only person standing in the food line.

The only person in line was Vala. She was standing in front of the almost-empty dessert cooler, frowning and twirling a piece of hair around her finger. Jillian walked up next to her.

"You're up late," she commented.

If she expected Vala to be startled by her sudden appearance she was disappointed. It was obvious Vala had been completely aware of her approach.

With a casual shrug that seemed entirely feigned, Vala said, "I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd get something to eat."

Jillian watched as she chose a slice of banana cream pie and then moved down the line to pour herself a large raspberry iced tea. Jillian got a turkey sandwich that didn't look remotely appetizing and then her own large tea. The caffeine was likely to keep them both wide awake. It was what Jillian wanted but she wasn't sure about Vala.

She watched Vala trying to decide between two equally deserted tables and said, "Why don't you come back to the infirmary with me?"

If her approach hadn't startled Vala, her words did. It was clear in the momentarily unguarded look that crossed the other woman's face.

"Why?"

"I thought it might be nice if you came and sat with Cameron."

"Sit with Cameron? Why? Isn't he asleep now?"

"Yes, but it's kind of an SGC tradition." When Vala's confused expression didn't change, Jillian tried to explain, "When members of any of the teams are hurt or sick, someone sits beside them so they don't wake up alone. They have each other's backs, on world and off. The problem is that all of SG-1 is in the infirmary, so they can't sit with each other. Jack is with Sam and Teal'c. I'm sitting with Daniel and Cam but if Cam wakes up first, he'll know I'm not really there for him. It would be nice if he woke up and found someone there just for him. You said you wanted to be part of the SGC. Right?"

A dark, clouded look passed quickly over her extraordinary features. "Yes, well, I'm not sure how well the pursuit of that is going," she said, drily. Then like quicksilver her mood shifted. She smiled"But if you think Cameron would like it?"

"I think he would," Jillian said, then added hesitantly, "and I could use the company too. It's kind of lonely in there watching two men sleep. We could get a deck of cards and I could show you some of the games the teams play off-world."

Vala studied her closely, one hip canted to the side and a speculative look in her eyes. Jillian couldn't quite figure out what that look meant. She and Vala were still circling each other, neither quite sure of the other. Vala was not the kind of woman who admitted weakness or failure and yet, twice, she had seemed to do so with Jillian, whom she barely knew. As for Jillian, she had no idea how far to trust this stranger who had dropped in on them from out in the galaxy. After all, Daniel had nearly died three times in the first week of Vala being in their lives.

"All right," Vala said, finally. "It's not like I have anything better to do." It was a typical, flippant, offhand remark but Jillian heard the edge of…_something_ else in it.

She didn't answer, but went to the counter in the corner that had the book exchange and a few decks of cards and chose one that hadn't been opened. She had little doubt that Vala would be proficient not only at the games but at cheating at them, too, before the night was over.

"Come on," she said. "It's not my favorite game, but we might as well start with poker."

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	282. Chapter 282

After the credits roll on Morpheus, Sam wakes up.

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She could hear voices speaking as if they were far away, though she knew they were nearby. Very close, in fact. She was Air Force trained, but her survival skills had been honed over eight years by a man known for his Special Forces skills. She knew better than to move or open her eyes until she'd completely assessed the situation.

And she needed to remember what the hell had been happening to her before losing consciousness. She felt so tired that she wasn't certain she wanted to open her eyes, and her limbs didn't seem inclined to move at all.

"He has done well, all things considered. His actions on Vagonbrei proved his value to the team."

"You just like him because of all the new Sodan training."

"Indeed. Such things will give us an advantage over the Ori."

Teal'c, Sam thought, and Jack. Are we off-world then or…no, they're talking about the Sodan, talking about Cam. We were off-world and there was a problem. We were….

It came back to her in a rush. They were dying. Literally about to fall asleep and never wake up. They had put her in a coffin. They were going to bury her alive!

Sam sat up with a sharp inhalation of breath. Every muscle and bone protested with a shriek of pain.

"Ja–" She didn't so much catch herself as run out of air to complete the word.

"Whoa! Easy, cowgirl," Jack said. He had leapt to his feet and put his hands on her shoulders to gently push her back down on the pillows. Sam wrapped a hand around his wrist and hung on, just because she could.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, then hastily added, "Sir."

"Well now, see, that's kind of a funny story," Jack said, pulling the covers up and smoothing them out again before he sat down next to her. "I had to talk to Woolsey about a half-assed order the IOA gave, and then I had something I needed him to do for me. So I had the Odyssey beam us both here. Then all of you came back. Then I thought I might as well hang around until you woke up so I could get a report about this firsthand. Oh, and there was a brief trip back to Arlington to pick Jett up from school and get him settled for the night."

Sam lifted her eyebrows. "Emily is staying with him?"

"Yeah," Jack drew the word out slowly. "She knew there would be overnights when she took the nanny job. I told Jett I would be back in the morning though, so thanks for waking up when you did."

"Glad I could be of service," she answered.

It hurt, how glad she was to see him. It caused an ache in her throat to sit and speak of something as normal as his son and school. Then she realized something horrible and tried to sit up again.

"Where are Cam and Daniel?" Sam demanded, fighting panic.

"In Isolation 1," Jack said. His hands were back on her shoulders, firm, steadying. "They're fine. Daniel woke up a little while ago and is already bitching about wanting to go home. Mitchell's still asleep, but from what Teal'c told me he fought it off longer."

"Really?" Sam asked.

Jack's eyes narrowed. Giving her a puzzled look he asked, "When did I start lying to you?"

Sam stared at him for a split second, then choked out, "Never." She fought the tears even though she had cried in Jack's arms before. The physical toll of what they had gone through was over. But the emotional stress of nearly losing her own life and her entire team was still waiting to be dealt with. She understood why Daniel was bitching about going home. He'd want the solitude of his home, the safety of his wife's understanding, and the joy of his son to balance out what they had survived. Daniel had always withdrawn to recover.

Daniel wouldn't cry, but he'd make everyone miserable until he got what he wanted.

Sam knew what she wanted too, and she wasn't going to get it. She wanted to go home to Jack and Jett.

That conversation passed in the split second that she held Jack's firm and reassuring gaze.

"C'mere," he mouthed softly, and then she was in his arms. Once there she found the tears dried up, though a few choked, relieved sobs left her. She put her hands against his chest, arms tucked in at her sides, and breathed in all the Jack-flavored air that surrounded her.

His back was to the windows and the cameras so no one could see his mouth moving. He whispered softly, "Give it two days and I'll bring you to DC. It'll be Saturday. We can spend the day with Jett. You wanted to take him to the Science Education Center at the Smithsonian. Right?"

Sam nodded and swallowed the next sob. She was done crying. No matter what anyone said, it should be beneath the dignity of an Air Force dfficer and Doctor of Astrophysics to burst into tears over everything. The scientist in her deflected the pleasure principle and firmly embraced the reality principle, even if it meant that pleasure would be postponed. Sometimes she hated being an educated and reasonable ego.

And holy Hannah, she was sometimes glad she wasn't the actual leader of SG-1 anymore. Let Cam deal with all their stress. Cam could send Daniel home and make sure the Do-Not-Disturb sign went up on Teal'c's door.

As for Cam himself, Sam realized she had no idea what he would do. It was possible he'd go home to the condo, put ESPN on the TV, eat a bag of chips, have a couple of beers and crash on the couch. But he deserved better than that, and Sam resolved to make sure he had company. She could talk to Cam – really talk – all night if they needed, until the light of dawn was creeping in around the drapes.

There was still a teardrop clinging to the corner of her eye. With a minute turn of his head, Jack kissed it away.

Reluctantly, Sam let go of him and sank back down on the pillows again.

"What did you need Woolsey to do? Can you tell me?" she asked.

Jack made a dismissive gesture with his hand. But his face looked like he had swallowed something sour. "Oh, Daniel called me about keeping Mal Doran here on a permanent basis. So we came up with a little test."

"A test? The psych eval?"

"A little more," Jack said evasively. "She'll either pass it or she won't. We'll go from there in deciding what we want to do with her."

Sam studied him carefully, but his expression had once again become inscrutable. She wasn't going to get any more information out of him now. At least, if Woolsey was on the base, Jack was also here to keep a tight hold on his leash.

"How much longer can you stay?" she asked, quietly.

Jack shrugged. "A couple more hours. You hungry?

Sam thought about it. "Kind of. I could eat. There won't be much choice in the commissary at this hour, but you know what I like."

"Teal'c?" Jack asked.

"Indeed. Sustenance would be appreciated."

Jack looked at the Jaffa for a moment, then said, "That just never gets old."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow but Jack didn't say anything else. He stood up to leave and Sam inhaled as if to speak, leaned forward a little, and seemed to reach for him.

"I'll be right back," he assured her.

Sam settled down again but didn't look any less anxious. She knew how easily he could be called away. She saw that knowledge in his eyes.

"Right back," he promised again.

She nodded again and chose to believe him, because, as he had just pointed out, Jack O'Neill had never lied to her.

And he never would.

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	283. Chapter 283

**Jack and Daniel talk on the phone prior to the Pegasus Project.**

**(0)**

"_General O'Neill_?" His assistant's voice said over the intercom.

"Yes, Pribley?"

"_Dr. Jackson is on line two, sir."_

"Thank you, Pribley," Jack said, and then he hit line two and picked up the receiver. He had learned better than to talk to Daniel on speaker phone. "Yes, Daniel?"

"_Hi, Jack_."

"Hi, Daniel," Jack said, as if talking to someone with a very low IQ. "What's up?"

"_I need a favor_."

"I figured. Another test for Mal Doran?"

"_No, something closer to home_."

"Oh?"

"_I need you to help me save my marriage_."

"What did you do?"

"_I haven't done it yet_."

"What are you going to do, then?"

"_SG1 had been okayed to go to Atlantis_."

"And?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Not to me."

There was a long pause in which Jack swore all he could hear was Daniel's frustrated breathing.

"_Please don't make me go to Atlantis without my wife. I'll come home and find all of my belongings out on the lawn_."

"That would be bad."

"_Well it's winter, and some of the books just wouldn't do well_."

"You did marry a redhead of your own free will," Jack pointed out.

"_Yes. Yes, I did, and I would do it again. But I've tried to take her to Atlantis twice and we didn't make it. I can't go without her; and she won't go without the baby_."

"Oh! You want to take the baby now too?"

"_You know I'll concentrate better if I know exactly where they are, and they'll be safe with me. Besides, Jillian speaks and reads Ancient as well as I do. I'll need her_."

Jack didn't say anything. Jillian's presence on the Atlantis mission he could easily justify, for the very reason that Daniel had just named. The baby was going to be trickier, but he wasn't separating them from their child.

"Yeah," he said, slowly, "okay."

"_Look, Jack, I know it's a lot to ask but I really – what?"_

"I'll make Atlantis your temporary duty assignment. I can totally justify sending your entire family with you under those circumstances. I can even make it Jillian's TDA if it comes to that. We'll say it's for six months and then recall you when the Daedalus is scheduled to return."

"_Really? It's that simple?"_

"I can make it harder if you want."

"_No, no. This is great. Thanks, Jack."_

"Did you just say thanks?"

"_I did. Oh, wait, one more thing. We want to take Vala."_

"You're pushing it, Daniel."

"_Well, it's take her with us and keep an eye on her, or leave her here under Landry's feet."_

"I see your point."

"_So_?"

"So?"

"_Can we take her or not?"_

"Oh, yeah. I'll assign her to SG-1 for the Atlantis mission. Shouldn't be a problem."

"_Good."_

"Going to say thank you again?"

"_Wasn't planning to. I figured not having to listen to Landry gripe about her for two months was your reward."_

"Another good point. You need anything else?"

"_Not at the moment."_

"Well, be sure to let me know when I can bend the powers of my office to your will again."

"_Don't worry I will."_

"I'll look forward to that."

"_Jack?"_

"Huh?"

"_Thanks."_

Jack started to say something sarcastic but the phone line abruptly cut out. He stared at the receiver for a moment and then said, "You're welcome," just before he dropped it back into the cradle.

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	284. Chapter 284

**Missing scenes from The Pegasus Project. The majority of the opening dialogue is not mine. It is from the writers.**

**(0)**

"No he's really excited," Cam commented. "I think his son kept him up all night again."

"Still fighting the ear infection?"

"Yeah."

Vala said, "Being a father is harder work than battling the Ori it seems."

"Yeah, but under that sleepy exterior he's just all keyed up."

"Funny, he doesn't look excited," Vala mused.

"Trust me. Like a kid who was up all night on Christmas Eve," Mitchell assured her.

Irritated, Vala said, "I thought we imposed a moratorium on cultural references I wouldn't understand."

"So excited, he was up all night," Cam amended

"It's only because he was worried sick about the success of the mission," Vala observed.

Mitchell reached across the table and tickled Daniel's ear with a twisted-up straw wrapper. Daniel flinched a little but otherwise ignored it. Mitchell poked at him with a little more enthusiasm. "Wake up, Sunshine. Time to see what old Santa brought."

Daniel groaned in irritation and slapped at his ear. It had been a very long night that had followed a long day and a longer previous night. At least JD's ear infection seemed to finally be cured. He had left Jillian and the baby asleep finally and come to the Mess with the intention of having breakfast before the Daedalus made planet fall. He had underestimated the effect of the last 36 hours and fallen asleep as soon as he sat down at the table. He didn't even remember Vala and Mitchell joining him there.

"Morning," Mitchell said, cheerfully.

Daniel lifted his head and squinted at them. "What?" He asked, blearily.

"We just came out of hyperspace. I'm guessing you don't want to miss the landing.

"Wha-What time is it?" Daniel asked, looking at his watch.

The voice of Colonel Emerson came over the intercom, "This is the Captain. All hands take stations for atmospheric entry."

Vala playfully popped a piece of pastry in her mouth. Mitchell smiled at Daniel.

Perturbed and mystified, Daniel demanded, "Why didn't you tell me?"

He stood up and rushed out of the room, leaving breakfast untouched.

"Alright," Vala acknowledged, "He's a little excited."

(0)

The only thing that could have made the approach to Atlantis more spectacular would have been sharing it with Jillian. Daniel lingered for a moment, savoring the image of the city he had dreamed of growing closer and closer. The rest of the team had exited when he turned and he had taken a few steps towards following them when Jillian appeared in the doorway.

She had a yawning JD on her hip. Daniel hurried to them, reaching for the baby but looking anxiously into his wife's eyes.

"I didn't want you to miss it but I was afraid to call and wake you up."

"All the intercom announcements woke him up. I thought we would find you here."

Jillian looked past him at the image on the viewer. "Oh my god, Daniel," she whispered, "It's beautiful."

He turned around, balancing JD in one arm and reaching with the other to put it around her shoulders. JD made a small whimpering noise that rose slowly into a wail. Daniel patted gently him on the back. He was relieved to feel only the normal warmth of his son and not the feverish heat that had been coming from him during the night.

"Hey," he said, softly, "you're on the bridge of a 304, little man. Have some respect. Look," he pointed at the viewer, "see where we're going?"

JD was much more interested in trying to get Daniel's watch off his wrist than in the city looming larger in front of them. Daniel laughed.

"It looks just as Plato described it," Jillian said, breathlessly. Daniel didn't answer. It was a moment for him that rarely happened, one in which words would seem a sort of profanity.

JD chose that moment to yawn and rub his eyes.

"Oh sure," Daniel said to him. "_Now_ you're tired." To Jillian he said, "I'm so glad you're with me, Jill. Are you coming to the surface?"

"Not right away. I should try to get him back to sleep and you'll be in a bunch of long meetings for a while." She didn't look at him. She was staring at the viewer in rapt awe. Daniel couldn't stop watching her as she drank it in. The Bridge was noisy and bustling with the business of bringing the ship into atmosphere. But for Daniel there was now only Jillian as she stood still and fell in love with Atlantis. Its beauty seemed to paralyze her.

He let out a mental breath he had been holding for weeks. Jillian had always professed a fascination with Atlantis and seemed always eager to see it for herself. But in the back of Daniel's mind he knew it was a city once inhabited by the Ancients; and Daniel knew full well how Jillian felt about them.

But looking at her now he saw only wonder and delight. For Jillian, Atlantis was a piece of recovered history, a lost legend come to life. Much like her devotion to the _Titanic_ and the frozen piece of time the ship represented, Jillian saw Atlantis as an opportunity to find out how people had lived once, long ago. Its library was the equivalent of finding scrolls from Alexandria. For this moment, at least, Jillian seemed to forget they were there to find a way to save their own galaxy from complete destruction.

"You're sure?" Daniel asked so softly it was barely audible. He wanted to go to the city with her. He wanted to share it, to learn it together. But she was right about the meetings.

JD made a short, plaintive sound and Jillian shook herself out of her trance to take him back from Daniel. "Yes, I'm sure. Are _you_ okay? You haven't had a lot of sleep either."

Daniel made a wry face as they went out into the hall. "I'll run on adrenaline for a while. You'll be around to catch me when I crash?"

JD was pulling on Jillian's shirt and babbling. Jillian smiled at Daniel. "Always."

At the point in the hallway where they had to part, Daniel leaned over to kiss the corner of her mouth. "I love you." He knew it for the surest thing he had ever said in any language.

"I love you too," Jillian said, with a soft smile. "Now go. I'll join you as soon as I can."

Daniel turned to kiss JD's forehead and stroke his fingers over the silky top of his head. "Sleep well," he told them both.

"Daniel," she stopped him with the first note of anxiety he'd heard in her voice since they had left Earth's orbit.

"What?"

"If there's a Repository–"

"I won't," he cut her off abruptly. "There's a whole library so there probably isn't one. They haven't discovered one so far and if they do, I won't."

She held his eyes for a long time and everything between them was as transparent as glass. There was no place for him to hide even if he wanted to. Daniel had never feared the truth and he would follow it to wherever it led. But Jillian saw that she could believe him. Here in Atlantis, there wouldn't be any need for him to risk that much.

She nodded and smiled. He flashed a relieved, blinding smile and took off after his team.

He could feel her eyes following him for a long time.

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	285. Chapter 285

Daniel was brooding and Jillian knew that he was. The conversation in the dining hall was almost continuous. The group at their table was talking animatedly about the staggering victory the Odyssey had achieved against two of their enemies in one fell swoop. It all swirled around Daniel, who sat staring at a point just in front of him without focusing on it and didn't touch the tray of food in front of him. She knew the tension in his shoulders and the dangerous stillness of his body.

Seated beside him, holding JD on her lap, Jillian whispered, "Daniel?"

He glanced at her. His face was cold as ice. His eyes glittered. He looked so brittle she was afraid he would shatter into icy particles if she asked him to speak.

He wasn't angry with her. For that she was grateful to the bottom of her soul. She _never_ wanted to make Daniel that angry. But he _was_ angry at the Ancients who had Ascended and that had always been a problem between them.

He looked away from her and pushed some mashed potatoes around on his plate. He stopped, paused again and then abruptly stood up and left. A few people glanced up when he did but no one moved to stop him.

Jillian stared after Daniel trying to figure out whether to go after him when JD suddenly broke off his animated and very one-sided conversation with Elizabeth to whine and struggle in Jillian's arms. She sighed. It was time for him to eat and not just the crackers they had been giving him. She was biting her lip and reaching for the backpack that held all of JD's stuff when she caught Vala's eye.

Vala had been flirting outrageously with whichever male happened to be seated beside her, having taken a liking in particular to John Sheppard. When Daniel left she had turned to John and asked if he could get her some more tea.

When John got up, she leaned forward across the table and asked very quietly, "Do you want me to go after him?" She meant go after Daniel. J

Jillian was silent as she dug out a jar of Nature's Best sweet potatoes and apricot blend. Vala spoke into the uncertainty, "I can feed JD if you want to go."

It was true. In the weeks aboard the Odyssey Vala had worked out a lot of her thwarted motherhood needs by bonding with JD in a way that surprised everyone. The baby adored her with the same unabashed joy he gave to all the members of both his parent's teams. Jillian knew that she could leave and go after Daniel and JD wouldn't notice – at least not as long as someone was feeding him. But… Jillian sighed inwardly.

"He needs to nurse too," Jillian said, just as quietly, holding a private conversation.

"Well I can't do that for him, unfortunately," Vala complained. She gestured towards the bag. "Don't you have?"

"No," Jillian answered. She sounded short tempered and she knew it. But she didn't like being caught between her son's needs and her husband's. Picking up her mood and reacting that as much as to his hunger, JD protested more loudly.

He attracted a few anxious glances from around the table but when it was obvious that Jillian was taking care of it, the occupants all went back to their conversations.

Vala reached over and opened the jar for them while Jillian dug a spoon out of a plastic bag. Her eyes met Vala's again as she shifted JD around to offer him the first mouthful. She desperately wished that Sam or Teal'c or Cameron was there with them. She would have sent anyone one of them after Daniel without a second thought. Any one of them would have gone without asking and Jillian would have felt nothing but relief. None of them had the history of fighting with Daniel over the true nature of the Ascended.

But then neither did Vala, who was just getting to know them. Jillian suspected that given her treatment at the hands of the Ori and now getting her first taste of dealing with this galaxy's version, Vala was probably going to come down firmly on Jillian's side.

But for now she could only look at Vala in helpless defeat. "Go see if you can find him?" She asked, pleadingly.

"What should I do with him? Try to get him back here?"

"Just try to stop him from doing anything stupid."

"Stupid?"

Jillian sighed again in frustration. "I'm pretty sure he knows how to Ascend all by himself, without any help. Just try to keep him talking and living on this plane of existence?"

Vala's gray eyes flew open in shock. "What do you think he might do?"

Jillian shrugged and tried not to look at anything but JD. "In pursuit of something to keep us safe? In pursuit of justice and what he feels is morally right? I have no idea what Daniel might do and that scares me more than anything."

Shock flared briefly in her eyes at the idea of Daniel taking his case directly to the Ancients, by whatever means necessary; and if failing to convince them, retrieving the weapon himself with the knowledge he would gain. Vala nodded, looking for once in her life sober.

When John came back with her new glass of iced tea, Vala had already gone. John looked at her empty seat for a moment and then shrugged and offered the glass to Jillian. She forced a grateful smile and reached for it with a shaking hand.

(0)

After a considerable time spent frantically looking, Vala found Daniel standing on a balcony high above the night-lit city of Atlantis. This was the Daniel she had first met and was most familiar with. This was Daniel cool and aloof and never to be touched. His proximity to a long and very deadly plunge to the ground made her hesitate for only a moment before walking up beside him and saying, "You left before dessert."

Daniel glanced over his shoulder at her before looking back out at the city.

"Where's Jillian?" He asked, flatly.

"Did you expect her to come after you?" Vala asked. It made sense. Only Jillian made the other Daniel appear – the one that was warm and open and smiled in a way that was genuine.

"Yes."

"Your son was hungry in ways only she could take care of," Vala kept her tone very light.

Something flickered across Daniel's face that might have been regret. He would never make his wife chose between them, not under any kind of normal circumstances. Whether it now occurred to him that he was being a selfish bastard or not, Vala wasn't sure. But some of the tension drained out of him as he stared into the night.

"She should find me just say 'I told you so'," Daniel said, cryptically.

"I don't understand," Vala admitted.

Daniel inhaled and said, slowly, "You said that you understood why I came back, that you wouldn't have enjoyed their company either. But that's not why I came back. I'm here because a day – an _hour_ – of the life I have here is better than an eternity of Enlightenment. My coming back didn't have anything to do with the reality of being Ascended. It was only that I love Jillian and the life I created here more. I have always believed that there were enough of the Ascended like Oma, and now like Morgan LeFey, that if they just banded together they could be so much more. Jillian has always hated them. She acknowledges that without Oma I wouldn't be here at all and I think she is grateful to her for that. But she argues, correctly, that Oma was the exception and not the rule. The rest of them are devoted to their strict rules about noninterference."

Vala digested that for a moment and then said quietly, "She did what she believed was right, Daniel. How badly can she be punished for that?"

Daniel looked at her sadly. He looked as if he wanted to offer her some kind of consolation or hope but instead he admitted, "I don't know."

Oddly, the attempt to console came from Vala. With forced brightness she said, "Maybe she'll just get a slap on the wrist. Or be forced to write 'I will not interfere in the affairs of humans again' ten thousand times."

It did nothing to improve Daniel's mood. She didn't get even the smallest attempt at a smile from him. "Yeah, I doubt that," he said in a sour tone.

Vala sighed. She really had no experience in trying to cheer someone up. "She said you had your answer. We found out the two addresses we came here for. Can you at least… smile about that?"

"I suppose," Daniel admitted, grudgingly. "But we did find out something else, too."

She had never known a man could sound so chilling just by speaking a few simple words. Daniel was the most brilliant man she had ever met. His ability to connect random occurrences and see things that evaded everyone else left her breathless. "What?" She asked, cautiously.

Sadly and ominously Daniel said, "They're not going to help us. We're in this alone."

The words hung, brittle and fragile in the air and Vala hardly dared breathe, wondering if Daniel had ever truly believed they would.

Footsteps approaching broke the moment and they turned to find Jillian. Vala had never felt so relieved. She was out of her depth with Daniel and the more time she spent with him the more she knew it.

How Jillian handled this man's ego Vala would never know. The two of them seemed to exist in a kind of crazy, dangerous, hopeless love only they understood.

Jillian didn't even look at Daniel at first. She spoke to Vala, "The Odyssey is back. Mitchell is looking for you."

"For me?" Vala asked, startled.

"Yes," Jillian said, as if it should be obvious.

The two women shared a short, conversational look about Daniel that ended with Jillian nodding and Vala walking away.

"Where's the baby?" Daniel asked.

"I left him sitting on Elizabeth's lap listening to Zelenka tell him the story of how they came to Atlantis in Czechoslovakian. He's quite animated when he tells it. JD is enchanted."

Daniel didn't smile. Jillian walked up to him but didn't touch him. "You believed they would ultimately help us, didn't you? If only to fire the first strike in what must surely be an epic confrontation."

"I don't want to fight with you about them," Daniel said, in clipped precise words.

"I don't want to fight with you about anything ever," Jillian said.

There was still a wall behind which Daniel lived, even with her. Behind that wall Daniel was always right and since he was right most of the time that belief just became stronger and stronger. It was hard for him to face being wrong.

Fortunately Daniel didn't think that living safely behind that wall was more important than his marriage.

"If I just admit you were right, can we move forward?" His expression was heartbreakingly vulnerable, soulful and lost.

"I don't want to be right, Daniel, not in this case." She was careful when he was like this, because being right was a large part of who Daniel _was._ She had no interest at all in tearing down all the things that made him _Daniel._ She had no interest in being married to a man that was so open he was defenseless.

She risked moving closer and putting her hands on his hips. He responded by leaning back against the railing and spreading his feet apart so she could stand between them. Hesitantly he bent forward, put his arms around her and laid his cheek on her hair.

"We've done all right without them. We'll find Merlin's weapon with or without their help. They may yet change their minds."

"How do you know we'll find the weapon?"

Jillian shook back her hair and looked up at him. How could she explain to anyone how much she loved him, how much she believed in him? "We have you. I'd rather have you than a thousand of them. Don't leave me, Daniel. Please?"

He understood then what she feared. "I won't do anything crazy. I promise you that."

"I love you, Daniel," she said, "I love you in two dozen ways all at the same time. I love the entire complex and often frustrating man you are. I love all the shades and colors of you, the way you are now, the thought of how much more you will mean to me in the decades to come. I love you for being the answer to every question I ever asked. I have been yours since the first time I saw you. I will be yours forever. Tell me what we need to do, where we need to go and I will help you. My heart will hold onto yours and not let go."

He was silent for a long time, just standing still and holding her. Then, "_God_, Jillian, I just want this to be over."

"I know. So you were looking for a quick and easy answer in the Ancients. It didn't happen. When does Plan A ever work out for us? We've got twenty five more letter of the alphabet and that's just in English."

That, finally, coaxed a smile out of him. Daniel had never thought of love in the way Jillian gave it to him. She had made promises to him, and even if the world was burning down, she would keep them. Without saying another word she told him there would be comfort tonight when he couldn't sleep; and tomorrow and the day after and the day after that he would have a home to go to, even if that home was no more than someone to put his arms around and a head tucked against his chest in the dark.

Jillian was his reality, his sense of what was right and wrong, his devotion and all his loyalty. Jillian was the purpose of his life and for her, he would try to stay alive.

(0)


	286. Chapter 286

**This is a tag to 200, which is so bizarre in so many ways I figured why not have a party on another planet that included Jett and JD?**

**(0)**

If nothing else, the SGC sure knew how to throw a surprise party. Cam had been so startled by the sudden inclusion of two generals and even Walter that he hadn't noticed the chevrons weren't locked for their simple recon mission on PK9-2033. They had been locked for the Delta Site, which had recently been restocked by the Odyssey and the supplies had included everything for the galaxy's best party.

The Delta site was built beneath the ruins of an abandoned city that Daniel had recognized as pre-Judeo Aramaic. Jillian was currently in charge of studying them, which Cam figured had something to do with easing the sting of losing the Hanging Gardens at the Gamma site. No one would authorize a return to the planet.

The Delta site city was alive again as the SGC settled in to do some serious partying.

It was ostensibly to celebrate the victory against the Wraith and the Ori at the Supergate, and as a side benefit Mitchell's 200th trip through the Stargate as well. But someone had also remembered that it was Johnathan Daniel Jackson's first birthday and there was a cake for him – next to the other three cakes all proclaiming either _Congratulations_ or _200_ – and a pile of presents that looked like Santa's workshop had exploded.

Mitchell was shocked by how many people were there. They must have been going through the Gate all morning while he had been tied up in the briefing room tossing random suggestions at Martin Lloyd. The 'glitch', he discovered, had been completely made up because the surprise wasn't ready at the time. Daniel's impatience with the time spent pitching ideas to Lloyd had been exacerbated by his concern that Jillian _and_ JD were off-world. How they had gotten him to agree to send his one-year-old son through the Stargate, Cameron had no idea.

It was a huge outdoor party with a series of barbecue grills going and plastic containers of every kind of picnic food imaginable. There was even beer, which Cam found more surprising than the party. Welcome, but still surprising.

Daniel had gone immediately to the table with JD's presents and birthday cake. Jillian had met him halfway, with a kiss that was just this side of being acceptable PDA and then they had gone to sit with Jillian's father, Alexander North, who was holding JD. Daniel had picked the baby up and held him possessively.

They had all shed their gear down to shirts and pants, stowing their gear under the table that had been claimed by the generals and Colonel Murphy, the commander of the Delta site.

Vala had been swept up by Scotty and Annie and made part of a group composed mostly of the 20- and younger 30-somethings of the SGC. Cam had made the rounds of tables until he'd been talked into a softball game out in a grassy field. He managed to watch General O'Neill and Sam, but there wasn't the slightest hint they were anything but former teammates and close friends. O'Neill's decades in Special Forces, along with Sam's near-decade of following his lead, no doubt helped. The presence of Jett gave them a reason to be close to each other without raising eyebrows as well. Jett adored the members of SG1 – at least the original members – and Sam most of all.

Cam was sitting in the grass joining in the catcalls against the other team and cheering on his own when Vala sauntered up and dropped down in the grass beside him. She pulled her knees up, wrapped her arms around her shins, and leaned over to nudge him with her shoulder.

"What is this called?" she asked.

"Softball," Cam answered in a soft drawl.

Vala watched the game for a few minutes, then said, "Teach me to play."

Cam kept his eyes on the game for a long time. He was thinking about teaching Vala and what that would entail. He imagined standing behind her with his arms around her, hands gripping hers around the bat. Those long legs that went on forever and every supple, sinuous, sexy inch of her pressed up against him.

Oh, that could not end well.

"Please," Vala suddenly amended, "please teach me to play." As if she thought it was her manners making Cameron hesitate. But when he continued to stall she added, "I promise not to ravish you, or encourage you to ravish me."

Okay, so she did get it.

Cam stood up and she jumped up with him like an overeager jackrabbit. She dusted off her pants as Cameron hollered, "Scotty! Is there another bat and ball somewhere?"

Scott gestured to a sports bag in the grass off to the side. "In there, sir!"

Cam went to the bag and dug out the two items in question. He put the bat over his shoulder and tossed the ball in the air, catching it one-handed.

"Let's go," she said, grinning happily, with a flash of brilliant teeth. Cam was momentarily breathless.

"Yeah," he said, "let's go."

(0)

JD, at one week and one year of age, was already happily up and walking and getting into everything he possibly could. After a marathon session spent opening gifts and thanking everyone and laughing at JD being amazed by a helium balloon, Daniel and Jillian carried him off to a less crowded part of the ruin, hoping there would be a little less for him to get into.

Inside a small antechamber of the main temple, Daniel put JD on his feet and let him walk around. The stayed by the door, the only escape route, and watched him toddling around on his sturdy legs. The carving on the walls drew his attention and that made both his parents smile.

Of course there wasn't much else in the room, but still….

"Daniel," Jillian said and he knew from the way she said it that she was on the verge of asking him something very important.

He tensed and stood up from where he had been slouching against the doorjamb. "What?"

She smiled to reassure him. "Nothing bad. I just…I want to contact the Asgard about our daughter. I want to do it now."

Daniel was startled and it took him a moment to carefully craft an answer. "Honey, JD is only a year old. You just weaned him. Are you sure you're ready to go through all that again so soon?"

The sudden hard set of her jaw and emerald-bright spark in her eyes alerted him that he'd given the wrong answer.

"Do not be mad at me," he said, tightly, emphasizing each word. "I love you. Being pregnant is an incredible amount of stress on your body. I just want to be as sure as it sounds like you are."

Her soft, heart-wrenching answer was almost his undoing. "Haven't you always felt like we left her behind?"

Daniel closed his eyes and turned his head to the side for a moment. He understood that Jillian had loved JD even before he was born. He knew it even if he couldn't feel the same way himself. In honest moments, he knew that he had not really loved JD until the moment he'd held him for the first time. Their daughter – Katherine Jillian Jackson, they had decided – was already a real person to Jillian. To Daniel she was the future, and at the moment she was safe with the Asgard, and he was fine with that.

But his wife wasn't.

"The Ori threat–" he began.

"There are always going to be threats, Daniel. There are threats to us even on our own planet. I'm not going to let the Ori or anyone else stop us from moving into the future we've planned. She's our daughter and I want her with us. Don't you?"

"I hadn't thought about it, except to think we'd wait at least another year."

"Another year!"

"Do you really want to have two in diapers?"

It was the wrong answer again, judging by the narrowing of her eyes. Daniel held up his hands to stave off whatever she was about to blister him with. "All right," he said. "We tried to contact the Asgard about the Ori a few months ago. I don't know where they are or what they're dealing with but they've been strangely quiet. I'll ask Jack to try again."

Her narrowed eyes flared open with sudden fear. "You don't think the Ori already…I mean, they're the _Asgard. _They're all right, aren't they?"

Daniel wasn't sure why he couldn't seem to communicate with his wife at the moment. It was probably his continuing inability to speak fluent 'female'. She was a mother, focused on her yet-to-be-born daughter, and he was a man trying to protect what was his. The disconnect was inevitable. He closed the distance between them and took his wife in his arms. She was stiff for a moment, unyielding. But eventually she softened and put her arms around his waist.

"They're fine_, baobei,_" he said, with as much certainty as he could because he didn't want her to start panicking.

"But if they haven't answered, and the threat is so dire?"

"We were part of the protected planets treaty against the _Goa'uld_. There isn't any other treaty between us and the Asgard. I know they owe us, but they must have their own reasons for remaining silent."

Just then JD lost his balance and sat down on the debris-strewn floor. His parents watched him, but JD only sat for a moment considering the situation and then stood back up. He swayed a little, then looked up at them solemnly. When they smiled at him he began wandering around the room again.

"Hey, JD," Daniel said quietly. "JD!" The baby looked back at them with curious eyes. "Usted va a ser un hermano mayor. Qué piensa usted de ese?"

"He doesn't know what a big brother is, Daniel," Jillian chided softly.

"He will," Daniel said. He kissed her chastely on the lips. "And soon. I promise."

JD came back to them, grabbed onto Daniel's pant leg, and babbled something that sounded like a question. Daniel let go of Jillian to pick him up and let him sit in his father's arms. "Que?" he asked.

"Papa va?" JD asked, picking at Daniel's shirt and then looking anxiously at his mother.

"No, JD, Daddy's not going anywhere," Jillian answered, soothingly.

They shared a look over the top of JD's head, wondering without words that their son knew that Daniel's uniform meant he was leaving. He often said or did things that reminded Daniel and Jillian that he was taking in everything, all the time, absorbing his world in much the same way his father did.

Daniel leaned over to kiss Jillian again. A wife, a son, and soon, a daughter.

Was it what he had thought he would have someday? No. It wasn't even something he had let himself dream of.

But was it everything he had ever wanted? With the clarity of the bright sun coming out after a desert storm, Daniel knew that the answer was yes. It was.

(0)

When Jack felt he had put in enough time with the 'upper management' he went to join the group he really belonged to – SG-1 and by default, its satellite members, SG-8. Jett had abandoned the generals' table long ago to go sit with Sam. They moved over so that Jack could sit down with Jett sandwiched between them, happily eating a huge piece of cake with a generous glob of rainbow-colored frosting. Jack eyed all the sugar warily, caught Sam's eye over the top of Jett's head and frowned. Sam grinned at him and put a forkful of chocolate cake and frosting in her mouth. Jack stared for a moment and then shrugged. He didn't want them to start being 'good parent/bad parent'. Besides, Jett was being remarkably well-behaved for a kid who was the only one (besides JD) under the age of 30 at this party.

Jack pushed a paper plate towards Daniel. "Cut me a piece of that, would you? The corner, with the big yellow star." As he set it down in front of him and picked up a plastic fork, he said, "Oh yeah, now we're talking."

Sam laughed and went on eating her cake. Jett grinned and licked frosting off his plate.

"So," Jack said conversationally, "are you ever going to tell JD his first birthday party was on another planet?"

Daniel nodded, but didn't look serious. "Right after he signs the nondisclosure agreement on his 18th birthday."

Laughter went up around the table. It was good, Jack thought. It was good that even in the face of this current threat they could talk about a future SGC that would still exist seventeen years into the future. They had survived so far because the SGC recruited the best in the world. That wouldn't change. If they could get SG-1 to focus on the Ori threat and not get caught up in chasing after multiple Ba'als or hunting strange creatures. They needed to stop messing with technology that brought them more trouble than it was worth and find Merlin's weapon.

Yes, it was true that they needed this stand-down. No human being could run on adrenaline for as long as SG-1 had and not need it. The previous attempts to get them to relax hadn't proved fruitful so far. Jack hoped this would do it. He finished the gigantic piece of cake, downed the rest of the beer in the big plastic cup, and stood up.

To Jett he said, "Wanna go explore the ruins?"

Jett had been begging him to do just that ever since Jack had arrived. He jumped up happily, gathered his plate and napkin to put in the big black garbage bag and said, "Can Sam come?"

Jack was grateful for the long years of training that kept everything but the most benign expression off his face. "If she wants," he said, slowly. He turned to her. "You feel like walking around some dusty ruins?"

Sam smiled. "Sure. Never done _that_ before," she said, drily.

"You never did it with a rambunctious eight year-old," Jack pointed out, watching Jett running ahead.

With a flair for drama that she rarely displayed, Sam cast an affectionate smirk in Daniel's direction. "It just seemed that way a lot of the time."

Daniel returned the affectionate smirk threefold.

With Jett's honest request making an effective cover for them to take a walk together, Jack and Sam set off to catch up with him.

(0)

Jack would have much preferred a quiet stroll. Sauntering would be nice. But as he had pointed out to Sam they were with an energetic eight year-old. Hand holding would also be nice, but they weren't on Edora and they weren't the only ones exploring the ruined city. They passed quite a few corners with couples in them already, forcing Jack to guide Jett in other directions. Jack didn't begrudge them this part of downtime. It was just as necessary as playing hard and laughing hard.

What he envied was their ability to just find a quiet corner and have at it. For himself he'd risk it. But he would never do that to Sam. He would never ask her to cross that line. He just loved her too much for that.

Besides, even though Jett had been told to keep their secret, it wasn't outside the realm of possibility that the boy would just blurt out something one day and everything would be blown.

"This was a good idea," Sam said, suddenly.

"What was?"

"This chance to celebrate off-world. It was a good – no, make that a great idea."

Jack shrugged. "I have them sometimes."

"No!" Sam said, with feigned shock.

"I know!" Jack responded, with equal surprise, "Who would have ever thought that?"

Sam rolled her eyes at him. Then she smiled at him in that way she did when she wasn't wearing anything else; the kind of smile she wore when she took his hand and pulled him back into bed on the rare occasions that they had time to spend together in bed. Jack allowed himself the small illicit thrill he got from it.

"What about you?" she asked. "Is this helping you relax?"

Jack started to protest that he didn't need to relax, then stopped because it wasn't true. There wasn't really a way to relax when he was always on-call, when he had the problems of two galaxies sitting squarely on his shoulders and it sometimes seemed like he had to ask the IOA if he wanted to change a light bulb in a supply closet and then wait for them to have a committee meeting to discuss the issue.

"Maybe," he hedged.

"You want to talk about it?"

Jack glanced at her. She was walking easily at his side, eyes on Jett but he knew most of her attention was on him. It wasn't a leading question. It wasn't an attempt to make him talk. If he said no, Sam would let it go without a hint of anger or distress. She wouldn't push him or sulk when he remained quiet.

"It's nothing really; nothing I didn't expect when I took the job."

Lightly she guessed, "A general's work is never done?"

He grunted in response. "A little of that," he admitted in a tone that conveyed a complex mixture of emotions. He didn't want her sympathy. He just wanted the sense of accomplishment he used to feel after a hard, dirty, successful off-world mission. He missed working with people who were the best, who were geniuses at what they did instead of working with bureaucratic idiots with their own hidden agendas.

They walked in silence for a while. Jack liked the feeling of having her beside him again, of wearing the old familiar uniform. The feeling of her beside him, the _sound_ of it, was also familiar. He let his next few steps bring him closer to her and not-so-accidentally brushed against her arm.

They followed Jett as he ran to the top of a stone staircase and out onto a wide, flat-topped roof. The day was starting to drift away. The view was stunning. A wide plain spread out before them with wild grass waving in the breeze. A herd of herbivores native to the area melted out of the forest shadows to begin grazing. Gray and misty mountains shimmered in the distance.

The sun was making a lazy glide towards setting, painting the sky in a kaleidoscope of color so brilliant it was almost blinding. Desert orange, blazing red, vermillion, yellow-gold, plum purple, lavender and pink, the barest hint of dark blue shading into silver. The day was dying, promising to shade into breathtaking twilight before fading into darkness.

"Wow," Sam said quietly.

"Jett, stay back from the edge," Jack said, warningly.

Jett came to a halt on the balls of his feet. Jack moved up beside him and dropped an arm around his shoulders.

"We could stay and watch the stars come out?" Jett suggested. "Like we do on the roof at home?"

"Sure," Jack said, "I've got a flashlight. Carter?"

"Me too," she said, with a warm smile.

They sat down on the roof in a quiet huddle. Jack got his phone out and let Jett play InvaderR, since he was pretty sure that just watching the sun slip below the horizon wasn't going to hold his attention for very long.

With such a lovely sunset occurring it was inevitable that they would eventually be joined by others from the SGC. They straggled up in small groups and in couples, and gathered in companionable units. Scott had brought his guitar and a small group singing folk songs entertained them for a while.

"Jack! Look!" Jett said, suddenly. There was a bright star just beginning to appear in the dusky gray sky.

"I see it," Jack said, "You win this time."

Jett grinned. They'd been playing this game since Jett had been old enough to understand what a star was. More than half the time Jack let Jett win.

About that time they were suddenly joined by Daniel and Teal'c. They settled down next to Jack and Sam as if that was where they belonged – because it was.

"Where's Jillian?" Jack asked.

"She took the baby home. He's about had enough birthday party for the day. Mal and Rusty were helping her lug the gifts home. She said I should stay for a while."

"Mitchell?" Sam asked.

"He went off somewhere with Vala. I don't know where they are," Daniel answered. There was a brief silence between them and then Daniel said, "So did I mention that the remains of this city appear to be remarkably similar to the one SG-8 found on P2X-4978 last month?"

"A few times," Jack said, indulgently.

"Those were the ruins with the writings that described much of the early movements of the Ancients as they went out into the Milky Way. Right?" Sam asked, playing along.

"That's our galaxy!" Jett said, excitedly, "Can we see the edge from here, Jack?"

"Not yet, but we will in a little bit," Jack answered, ruffling his hair.

"Are there constellations here?"

"There are some described on the wall of the main Temple," Daniel answered.

"Do you remember any of them?" Jett asked, eagerly.

Jack snorted, because of course Daniel remembered everything he had ever read. Jett's question was all it took and Daniel was off, reciting in detail the mythology of the former inhabitants of the Delta site. It was a jumble of names and places that Jack had never heard of and honestly didn't really care about. But Jett was enchanted and it was nice to sit in peace with Daniel's rich voice telling stories. Sam scooted a little closer to him, leaning forward to look at Daniel as he talked. Her hair was shining like pearls in the fading light and she looked almost as enchanted by the stories as Jett.

Jack looked out over the plains and breathed in the exotic scent of a foreign world. Then, moving slowly and deliberately, he leaned forward until his lips almost touched Sam's ear and whispered, "Love you."

Sam glanced up at him swiftly and gently mouthed back 'love you.'

Jack didn't quite smile. That was their story now, and to Jack, it was the only one that mattered.

(0)


	287. Chapter 287

**This is a direct tag to Counter Strike. The following chapters will be a tag to this. This will be posted at both Sunshine and Shadow and Midnight and Dawn.  
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**(0)**

Daniel and Cameron exchanged a concerned glance as Vala got up and left the room. She had been unusually solemn and withdrawn since their attempted strike against the Ori. The encounter with the now-adult Adria had left her shaken.

"She displays the wisdom of a battle-seasoned warrior," Bra'tac observed thoughtfully. He looked as if he had just noticed Vala had even been in the room and she had taken him off guard.

Teal'c gave a low hum of agreement.

"She's a mother," Daniel said, knowing and understanding what sacrifices Jillian would make for JD, what lengths she would go to and how badly JD would be able to hurt her in the future. "Close enough."

Uncomfortable silence followed his statement.

"Should I go after her?" Cam asked uncertainly.

"No," Daniel advised. "Let her be for a little bit. She's not used to being crowded. If she wanted company she would have stayed." He looked up at Teal'c. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

"We need to gather those Jaffa still loyal to our vision," Teal'c answered.

"Starting with the Hak'tyl," Daniel guessed.

"Indeed," Teal'c replied.

Daniel understood how he felt. The Jaffa, and the Hak'tyl were in the same jeopardy from the Ori as the rest of the galaxy. Teal'c wanted to protect his own. Daniel stood up and reached for Teal'c's arm as Teal'c reached for his. They embraced for a moment.

"Be well," Daniel said.

Teal'c managed the expression that always seemed serene. "I _am_ well, Daniel Jackson. Just because we face defeat does not mean we are defeated."

The corners of Daniel's mouth lifted slightly. "Give our love to Ishta and Cassie."

"I will."

Both Jaffa bowed and then left, expressions grim and shoulders set with determination. They had been delivered a stunning blow, but they were not beaten yet.

Cam waited for them to enter the Gate Room below and watched the first chevron lock before he said, quietly, "You think he'll stay with SG-1?"

"Yes," Daniel said, with certainty.

"I don't," Cam said, bluntly. "The Jaffa need to get way better at choosing their leaders. They don't understand how someone rises up through the ranks except in a military capacity. The majority of them had their leaders chosen for them."

"We _are_ at war," Daniel pointed out. "Their military skills should be an asset."

"They aren't used to making the big decisions and they're only used to fighting each other," Cam countered. "They've also never been taught that there aren't acceptable losses. There are exceptions, but I think as a group there wasn't enough cohesion to face down an enemy on the scale of the Ori. Teal'c and Bra'tac are their only rallying point. They're going to have to step up here. I'm not sure either one of them considered that something like this would rise up just when they were trying to forge a new nation out of fractured groups that spent thousands of years trying to kill each other. Teal'c was the one with the vision. Teal's was the one who set this in motion. He won't want to see it destroyed so easily. That will mean Teal'c will leave SG-1."

Cameron sounded so convinced and so despondent at the same time that Daniel was momentarily unsure how to answer.

"If he does," Daniel said, slowly, "then we'll face it when it happens. Mitchell, Teal'c has one of the strongest hearts I've ever encountered. Maybe you haven't been with us long enough to realize it, but It was Teal'c who showed us tenacity in the face of overwhelming odds, and it was Teal'c who was somehow always at peace despite the wreckage. He's been walking between two worlds for as long as I've known him. He'll find his way through this."

Cam grunted and tried to shake off his sense of defeated misery. He was the team leader. Moral support was supposed to be _his_ job.

"Look," Daniel said, "you should probably try to track down Vala now, unless you want me to go after her."

Cam stood up. "No, I'll go after her." He got as far as the top of the steps before turning around, "Listen, what do you say we take the girls out to dinner this week. Maybe tomorrow night?"

Daniel looked at him over the top of his glasses. "Sam is out of town tomorrow night," he reminded him pointedly. They both knew where she was going.

"So it can be just you and me, Jillian and Vala."

Daniel's eyebrows went up another notch and Mitchel glared at him. "You know what I mean. Maybe we can ask Scott and Annie too. The more the merrier. We could all use a night out after this and First Thursday isn't for another three weeks."

"You just don't want to take Vala on a date," Daniel said. He knew what Cam was doing. Cam had proven to be very good at getting them to forget what they did for a living if only for a few hours. He also knew how hard Cam was working not to be alone with Vala.

"I don't date married women," Cam said, in a clipped tone. "But we took her on when we petitioned Landry to keep her here, and right now, she's hurting."

"You just don't want to take her out alone."

"No."

Daniel sighed. "Okay. I think I can get reservations at the Broadmoor, in the Penrose Room, unless you were picturing something more like steaks at the Tavern."

"For tomorrow night?"

"Yes, I haven't taken Jillian dancing in ages. I'll have to see about getting her father to watch JD. But it shouldn't be a problem."

Cameron appeared to mulling over the thought of dining in one of Colorado Springs's most romantic places with Vala. But he knew she would love it. He'd just have to watch his step.

"Yeah, okay," he said, "I'm going to go find her. Any thoughts on where she might have gone?"

"Try the gym. She likes the punching bag."

"Good point," Cam drawled. "Maybe I'll get my gloves before I head up. She's not the only one who could work off a little stress. "

(0)


	288. Chapter 288

**Two nights later:**

Cameron drove Vala from the mountain to the Jacksons' house, refusing to acknowledge that the scarlet cocktail dress was the sexiest thing he had ever seen on a women. _Ever_. It was skin-tight and shimmery, strapless, and went way too far up those legs Cam swore were so long they could be seen from twenty-five miles away. She had on a pair of shoes that were little more than straps of leather attached to stiletto heels. Her hair was unbound except for a single upsweep on the side being held by a sparkling hair clip.

Cameron very deliberately kept his eyes on the road, his hands on the wheel and his conversation on the beginning of baseball season. It didn't help that the incredibly sexy woman sitting beside him was developing a real love of American sports.

"If the White Sox can find a good, consistent center fielder that can play defense, they'lll be back in the playoffs again. Last year they only lost one game postseason, but a lot of those games could have gone easily the other way. But it's damned hard to win the World Series once, much less two in a row."

"Will you take me a game?" Vala asked.

"Well probably not the World Series, but there's a minor league in town call the Sky Sox. We can probably go to a couple of games, and the SGC has a couple of softball teams that play each other. You could sign up."

Cam had to admit that the sexiest thing about Vala was that he never quite knew what was coming next. It seemed completely incongruous to be talking about joining a softball team with a woman dressed like that. He was sitting next to someone he could easily fall in love with, who looked exactly like someone he'd want to make love to. Clever as the Devil and twice as tempting. Even with his eyes fixated on the highway all the details of her were in sharp focus – the curve of her arms, the shape of her lips, the graceful length of her neck….

There was a softness about her this time around, one that Cam had not even glimpsed the first time she'd crashed into his life. Her time in the Ori galaxy and the suddenness of Adria had given Vala a total and complete vulnerability that was shocking in someone who was normally so guarded in the rest of her life. It was easy now to remember that, while she wasn't from Earth, she was human and therefore breakable.

He pulled up in front of Jackson's house and shut off the Mustang's engine. Vala didn't wait for him to come around and open the door. She never did, even though he had told her that sometimes ladies did. It wasn't her style and somehow it didn't seem the least unladylike.

She blinded him with a smile and actually did take his hand to stand up out of the Mustang. A ruthless inner voice urged Cam to _make_ her fall in love with him, to make it so that she couldn't imagine living without him and would never consider living anywhere but on Earth. The urge grew as they walked up to the front door of the Jacksons' suburban home, bringing with it the insane idea that he – Cameron Mitchell – would ever have any kind of control over Vala Mal Doran.

(0)

Daniel opened the door for them and stood back as they came in. He was fussing with a cufflink and had his tie draped around his neck as if he was afraid he would forget where he'd put it. Jillian – stunning in a plum-colored one-shoulder cocktail dress, amethyst jewels dangling from her ears and adorning her wrist, and a pair of gold high heels- came around the corner to meet them. Mitchell was momentarily speechless.

"Oh my god!" Jillian said when she saw Vala, "Didn't Sam and I tell you that dress would look amazing on you? Come on," she paused to take Vala by the hand, "I'll show you the pendant that will look perfect with it."

As Daniel finally won the battle with the cufflink and started on his tie, he and Cam walked into the Great Room.

"You want a beer?" Daniel asked.

Mitchell was staring after Vala and Jillian in a kind of dazed amazement. "Doesn't that make you just a little nervous?"

Daniel looked in the direction Cam was gazing and said, "My wife and Vala together? No it doesn't make me nervous. It turns my insides into a shivering mass of Jell-O."

Cam snorted in understanding. "Yeah," he said, "I'll take that beer. I'm gonna need it."

(0)

Vala had never been in the bedroom Daniel shared with his wife. While she was extremely curious about these pieces of jewelry Jillian had described to her on their recent shopping trip, the room itself caught her attention first.

It was painted in a deep shade of caramel with the same white woodwork the rest of the house had. The furniture was dark but the carpet was light. French doors led out to the back deck. The curtains were light and airy, moving slightly in the breeze. The bedding was done in shades of light blue, brown, off-white and caramel. There was a fireplace with pictures of family and SGC teammates. There was a painting of a desert scene on one wall that pulled together all the colors in the room. Two light blue chairs sat waiting in welcome in front of the fireplace. The room was elegant, large but cozy, intimate. It said a lot about the couple that inhabited it.

Jillian had gone to the dresser and opened a large wooden box on top of it. She turned around with an impressive ruby pendant in her hand. It was set in gold filigree, teardrop shaped and must have been at least three carats. Vala was momentarily speechless and stayed that way when Jillian put it around her neck and fastened it. Vala's hand flew up to touch it as she studied the way it looked in the mirror. It truly was perfect for the dress. It was the same flawless blood-red color and landed at the perfect spot just between her breasts.

"Oh, Jillian," Vala said, "Are you sure you want to let me borrow this. I mean…I mean, you know that – that I'm a –"

"Thief?" Jillian finished for her. Her voice was light, almost teasing. Vala chose not to take offense but she did lift her eyebrows in question. Jillian waved a dismissive hand, "I don't think you're going to take off with my great-grandmother's heirloom ruby necklace. I know you're sitting on a sizable fortune from finding Glastonbury Tor. So you don't have a huge need for it. Daniel said we should trust you, so I am. Mostly because I trust Daniel. Finally, I think you know that if you do decide to take off with my great-grandmother's necklace, I will hunt you down myself and Daniel will help me."

Their eyes met in the mirror and Vala saw the absolute truth in Jillian's eyes. She turned around and smiled in a way that looked genuine. "It's beautiful. Thank you for lending it to me."

"Daniel told me what you did on the Ori ship, "Jillian said quietly. "He told me you offered yourself as a willing hostage in exchange for letting the rest of the team go."

Vala tried to shrug it off, turning back to the mirror to admire the necklace again. "Well. I knew she wouldn't take me up on it."

"That's not what Daniel said."

"Oh, and Daniel can read minds now." Vala laughed in a cavalier, dismissive way, but behind her Jillian's expression was gravely calm.

"Daniel has perfect pitch," Jillian said. Her voice was very soft, with barely any inflection at all. "He can hear everything in a person's tone of voice. He is also a master at reading body language and has more natural empathy than any other man on the planet. He told me you were serious. You've been off world with Daniel a few times and I had to trust you with his life. On Atlantis I asked you to go after him and trusted you with his life. You have to know that means more to me than the necklace you're wearing."

Vala stared at her for a long time, weighing and measuring that in a cool and calculating way. From the look in Jillian's eyes she was listening carefully to the unspoken, finding compassion in the silence. She had sensed when Vala came back into their lives that she would not be understood in the words and actions she generally gave to the world. Vala would only be revealed in what was unsayable.

"There's a set of matching earrings, if you're interested," Jillian offered finally.

Vala smiled. "May I see them?"

"Of course," Jillian answered.

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	289. Chapter 289

Scott and Annie met them in the lobby at the Broadmoor. There probably wasn't another couple Cameron knew that was such a study in contrasts. Scotty, who was tall and blond and so obviously Norse, and Annie, who was spectacular in the way of Pacific Island women, small and seeming to be delicately made, huge dark eyes and expressive face, dusky skin set off by blue-black hair that went to her waist and all of this set off to perfection in a deep turquoise cocktail dress.

The Jacksons dined in the Penrose Room often enough to be given last-minute reservations for a Friday night and be recognized by the staff. The maître d' of Penrose greeted them first in English and then had a brief and charming conversation with Daniel and Jillian in French.

Vala leaned close to Cam and whispered in his ear, "What did they say?"

"I have no idea," Cam admitted. "I took Spanish in high school and barely got a B."

"What's high school and what is a B?" Vala asked.

"I'll explain later," Cam answered. He put his hand against her lower back and guided her to follow the maître d'. It emphasized the idea that they were three couples dining out together, but there was no help for that. Cam much preferred it when they were out in odd numbers, especially when he could divide his attention equally between Sam and Vala. Maybe he shouldn't have agreed so quickly to Daniel's suggestion about the Penrose Room and opted for something less romantic. Steaks at the Tavern sounded really good suddenly.

Heads turned as they walked to their table – some discreetly, some overtly. Cameron figured every man in the room had just briefly lost his ability to think at the sight of Vala, Annie and Jillian, though he noted more than one woman eyeing the three men in their suits and ties with great appreciation.

Their table was perfect, close enough to the stage to hear the band, only a few easy steps from the dance floor and against a window so they could take advantage of watching the sunset over the autumn-decked foothills. Vala followed the example set by Annie and Jillian and let Cam pull her chair out for her, thanking him with a smile.

By the time they were all seated at the round table, Cam was between Daniel and Vala, across from Scott, and Annie was next to Vala. Once again, they looked like three couples. Cam sighed and reached for the menu.

"So, Jillian," he said, "what wine is good tonight?"

(0)

They were finishing the salad portion of their four-course meal and waiting for their entrées to be served when the conversation turned somehow to the Ori. It was accidental and not really about the Ori, but Vala's curiosity often got the best of her in exactly the wrong places. Maybe it was the Bourbon Smash cocktail she'd had at the bar while waiting for their dinner combined with the wine that had been presented to them by the evening's sommelier, but sometimes Vala just spoke before she thought.

"So where is Hebridan?" she asked, just before taking a sip of red wine.

"Why?" Daniel asked, a little sharply.

"It was one of the places Sam said you've lost contact with, one of your allies," she said.

"Vala," Cam said, warningly. He understood that she felt guilty about Adria and that she wanted to know more about what havoc the Ori were creating in the Milky Way at her daughter's command. He also knew that she preferred talking about things in public, where it was very unlikely she would allow herself to break down. He just didn't think this was the time or place for it. The whole point in going out was to forget for a little while.

Vala gave him a puzzled look, which Cam expected. But Daniel answered her, quickly, _very_ quietly and in clinical terms. "Hebridan has two distinctly different races living in harmony, the Hebridians and the Serrakins. The Serrakins came centuries ago to the planet and helped the Hebridians to overthrow the Goa'uld. They also offered technological advancements. They've been our allies since we came into contact with them three years ago."

"They have a race called the Loop of Kon Garat. Sam was in it as part of a crew a few years ago," Mitchell added, after glancing around to see if they were attracting any attention. Fortunately the table was fairly isolated.

Annie spoke up, "She was so mad they didn't win. Remember, Jillian?"

"I remember," Jillian answered. "She was really disappointed not to compete again last year." She looked at Daniel, "I didn't realize we'd lost contact. Has anyone tried to reach their colonies?"

"Yes," Daniel said. "So far no luck."

Vala looked grimly at her plate and buttered a roll. Before Cam could think of a way to change the subject, she said, "Where is Langara?"

The silence that descended on the table was instantaneous. Cameron stood up, tossed his napkin on the table and took Vala's hand. "Let's dance," he said.

Startled, Vala followed him out onto the floor, even though she didn't have much choice given the way he was gripping her hand.

Daniel did the same thing – stood, dropped his napkin and offered Jillian his hand. "I think that's a good idea. Dance with me? Please?"

Jillian hesitated for a moment but when Scotty and Annie moved together out onto the floor, she gave Daniel her hand and let him lead her away from the table.

Once in his arms Jillian took a long, slow, calming breath. The mention of Langara – and by association Kelowna – would never fail to make her heart stutter. When she had managed to relax and fall into the natural way her body moved with Daniel's, she looked up at him and said, "Why didn't you tell me we had lost contact with Langara?"

There was nothing accusing in her eyes or her voice. It was phrased almost clinically, as a scientific inquiry. Of course, they were in public, where they didn't usually discuss these things. But it was more than that keeping her voice low and steady.

"If I have to defend myself, it's mostly because I thought you knew," Daniel answered, "and I don't think I have to tell you that Langara is a topic I avoid discussing with you if it's at all possible."

"I didn't know," she informed him without knowing that he was finding the calm tone of her voice chilling. "What is being done about it?"

The question caught him off-guard. He guided them deliberately to a nearly deserted corner of the dance floor and leaned forward to speak into her ear. "I'm not sure we can do anything about it, or anything about Hebridan either. We don't dare try to activate their Gate or send ships. The attempted communications from Odyssey were dangerous enough."

There was a flicker in her eyes, a swift series of emotions but none Daniel could immediately name. They came and went too quickly. She bit down on her lower lip and looked at the floor for a moment. Her lashes were black-tipped embers against her very pale cheeks. Daniel tightened the muscles in the arm around her waist, not pulling her closer but emphasizing the hold he had on her. The music continued to play and they continued to dance.

"Daniel," she said, finally, "it's _Jonas_. I can't believe SG-1 will just abandon him."

Cautiously, Daniel said, "I wasn't part of SG-1 then. The truth is that I barely knew Jonas. _You_ know him better than I do. I can't say what the rest of SG-1 will do about this. I can tell you that Sam is going to talk to Jack about it this weekend."

"And whatever they decide, you'll be a part of it," she guessed.

"Can we wait to see what they decide?" Daniel asked softly, pleading. "I don't want you to be angry with me about something I haven't even done yet. So can we at least wait until I've actually done something?"

There was just enough lift to the corners of his mouth, just enough softness in his eyes to soften her. But she said, "I'm still worried about him. Jonas."

Now Daniel did draw her closer. "I know. We'll make it right, Jill. I promise."

Daniel knew the power his voice had over her. He knew that he could use the word promise in a way that would lull her into a sense of safety. But he had never broken a promise to her and he used the word very sparingly, so Jillian had no choice. She pressed closer, pushed into the commanding sway of his body as he led her around the dance floor and believed him with all her heart.

(0)

Vala had picked up dancing as easily as she had picked up basketball, firearms and earth food. Cam had been hoping to avoid dancing with her but he really hadn't seen any other way to get her away from the table. He couldn't exactly suggest they go off to the ladies' room together. Holding her in his arms was much too much temptation. The way their bodies fit together was much too familiar and desired. They were neither one of them people who liked being clingy, but they did like physical contact

"All right, so tell me what I did this time?" she asked after the first few measured steps around the floor.

"Langara is a sore subject with the Jacksons," Mitchell said.

"Why?"

Cam hesitated but he knew she would just keep pestering him. He pulled her closer and put his face close to hers.

"Because Daniel died there," he whispered.

Very few things made Vala Mal Doran speechless. This did. For at least a few measures of the music, Vala didn't say a single word.

"Jillian told me once that Daniel has been dead or presumed dead sixteen times. I thought she was joking."

"No, she wasn't," Cam said, grimly, "In this case, Daniel died of a lethal dose of radiation poisoning and was gone for fifteen months. I wasn't there at the time but you can imagine how devastated Jillian was. You know Daniel was one of the Ascended. That was the first time."

"The _first _time," Vala repeated, looking incredulous. Her voice was too loud and Cam gave her a sharp, warning look. Bringing her volume back down to a whisper, Vala said, "She said in Atlantis that she suspects Daniel knows how to Ascend now, without any help. Is she right?"

Cam shrugged. "I don't know. It's hard to get a read on the guy most of the time. Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised. Jackson's good at not giving away what he may or may not be able to do. But we didn't come out tonight to visit the specter of Langara. Let's just dance and go back to the table, eat and hope that Jackson managed to smooth things over."

"I didn't mean to upset anyone," Vala said, and she sounded genuinely contrite.

"I know," Cam said. In her way, Vala was even more selfish than he was, unable to see that things might have a longer reach than just her own suffering. To her, Langara was a place that her daughter had destroyed. She'd not paused to consider that not all of Earth's allies had been acquired in peace and mutual need.

"How did this alliance with Langara survive the death of Daniel Jackson?"

"It almost didn't," Cam acknowledged, "but that's a really long story. Look, Vala, whatever is going on with Langara, there are reasons the SGC might not let it go. SG-1 and General O'Neill will have their reasons for not letting it go, but I'm not sure even the general will be able to move it to the front burner."

"Front burner?" she repeated in confusion.

"Move it up in front of all the other stuff we have going on now, in terms of importance. I'll see if you can read the reports from the first contacts with Langara and subsequent interactions. It shouldn't be hard to get them for you. Your security clearance is already pretty high, just by virtue of how you found out about us. When you come from 'out there' it's kind of hard for us to deny its existence."

The music ended and Cam took Vala back to the table. The wait staff had removed the used plates, put out fresh rolls and butter and all was in readiness for their entrées. Dining at the Penrose was always an experience to be savored slowly. Vala sat back down as their server returned. Cam ordered a fresh bottle of wine that was delivered as Scott and Annie and Daniel and Jillian returned. Cam noted that Jillian was smiling and holding Daniel's hand, letting go of it only when he pulled out the chair for her. He breathed a deep internal sigh of relief.

Two servers arrived to put their main course in front of them. Daniel ordered coffee for himself and tea for Jillian and they all settled in to sample the first bites of excellent fare.

Deciding that his beef tenderloin was perfect, Cam set about bringing the evening back to its original intended purpose.

"So Annie," he said, "what are the wedding plans? I'm kind of hoping we'll all have an excuse to fly to Hawaii for a nice beach ceremony followed by a luau. Any chance of getting my wish?"

Annie laughed. "We've talked about it but Scott's mother doesn't like to fly."

"So I suggested a beach in California," Scotty said. Then he shrugged, "So we'll see. I don't actually care, so it's up to her."

Scott smiled at Annie in an utterly besotted way. Cam caught the Jacksons glancing at each other in an unguarded moment of mutual adoration inspired by the conversation. Jillian offered Daniel a forkful of her roasted Scottish salmon and he responded by sliding a slice of duck onto her plate. Cameron returned his own attention to the beef tenderloin, refusing to look at Vala. Beside him, she was concentrating intently on her suckling pig with bean fricassee and sugar snap peas.

Scotty went on happily, "My sister is going to be in the wedding party. She's unreasonably overjoyed by that."

Cam knew that Scott's sister had been born with Down syndrome so he nodded. "I can understand that. It won't be every day that her little brother gets married."

The rest of the meal was spent in normal conversation about wedding plans and Cameron's upcoming high-school reunion, which gave him a chance to explain high school to Vala – who declared that it sounded boring. Jillian left the table twice to call her father to check on JD, who was having a sleepover at his grandfather's so that his parents could have a long evening out.

It felt like family again, for Cam. They stumbled over each other's secrets and held each other up in stressful times. They laughed together and played together and fought and died together. Cam had grown up in a close-knit family that had all shared a blood relationship. But he was finding that 'family' was not just a biological word. It was an operative one and perhaps the best families of all – like the one he was dining out with tonight - were the ones people created for themselves.

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	290. Chapter 290

**This is a cross post from Moonlight and Steel. It is Jack and Sam but it may also lead to another adventure. Waiting to see what the Muse wants to do. I though this should go here just in case.**

**(0)**

Jack rolled the dice and grumbled once again about the little arrows that represented his troops. Sam gazed at him indulgently.

"I can pick them up. Jett can pick them up," she observed.

"Will you agree that they are boring?"

Sam shrugged. "They get the job done."

"I miss the little cannons," Jack mourned.

"Jack!" Jett said impatiently. He had yet to master the fine art of waiting for his turn, especially when it came to Risk.

"And who picked these colors? It might as well be in black and white," Jack went on. His hand hovered over his collection of little red arrows, poised to take over Europe.

"You're going to need to split that force into two or three columns if you want to pull off control of Europe," Sam observed.

Jack froze and gave her a narrow look. "Who is the actual general in this game?" he asked.

"Well it's _my _territory you're after," Sam answered. "I don't want you coming in with that entire horde you've accumulated."

"Jack!" Jett said, bouncing up and down in his seat.

"All right, fine!"

Moments later Jack rolled double twos and Sam rolled triple ones and they were laughing and throwing popcorn at each other.

Several critical moves later and Jett had taken over all of South America and Jack had declared the game was on hold until morning.

"Aww," Jett whined.

"Hey," Jack said, with mock sternness. "You're the one who wanted to play the Global Domination version and that takes a long time. We'll leave it right here until after breakfast. Tell Sam goodnight and go brush your teeth. I'll be in to say goodnight in a minute."

Jett got up, pushed his chair back in, and then went to give Sam a big hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I'm glad you're here, Sam," he said before running off down the hall towards the bathroom.

"Jett! Walk!" Jack said, hopelessly.

"Sorry!" Jett said just before the door shut.

"For him that _is_ walking," Sam pointed out as she stood and started gathering up the popcorn bowls and drink cups.

Jack followed her into the kitchen. When she started to open the dishwasher, he stopped her by coming up behind her and hugging her tight. He kissed her ear and said, "Our son just became a South American dictator. Should we be worried?"

Sam froze, startled. For a moment she didn't even breathe. "What?" Jack asked, instantly alarmed.

"_Our_ son?" she asked.

"Isn't he?"

"I've never heard you call him that before."

"It's how I think of him." Jack's voice implied that he always had, and was confused by her reaction.

"He's always kind of belonged to all of SG-1," Sam said.

"Not the way he belongs to you and me."

"Naytha–"

"Is his sister as far as he's concerned. He's never thought of her as anything else. If he's had a second mother at all, it's been you."

Sam turned in Jack's arms and put her hands on his chest. A cascade of emotions rumbled through her like a series of boulders rolling downhill: elation, humility, pride, honor and a small thrill of very real terror.

She was prevented from saying anything when they heard the bathroom door open and Jett hollering, "Jack! Are you going to read to me tonight?"

"I'm only in the kitchen, Jett, not on the other side of the moon!" Jack called back. "I think Sam is going to read the next chapter tonight. Okay?"

"WOOT!" Jett answered.

Sam and Jack laughed. Jack rolled his eyes. "I swear he thinks I'm going deaf already."

"He's just got more energy than both of us put together," Sam said.

"We're reading the first Narnia book. It's on the dresser and the page is bookmarked. You don't mind that I volunteered you?"

"No, of course not!"

"Reading is the only thing that gets him to shut down for the night. If not, he's up until midnight and then he _still _gets up at dawn." Jack made it sound as if he was griping, but he really wasn't. There was a twinkle in his eye the whole time. He kissed her forehead. "I'll clean up the mess. Then we can do whatever you want.'

Now the twinkle was in Sam's eye. "_Whatever_ I want?" she asked, mischievously.

"Well, short of handcuffs, yeah," Jack answered.

"_Gah_, you're no fun," she answered. She pushed away playfully just as Jett yelled, "SAM!"

"Coming, Jett," she answered.

(0)

Sam didn't reappear for almost an hour. Jack was curious enough to want to go check on them, but he knew that if anything brought Jett back up when he was winding down they'd be up with him until dawn. When she finally came back out he was sitting on the couch scrolling through the sports channels with the sound turned off.

"Is it hockey season again already?" Sam asked, looking at the game Jack had paused as she sat down on the couch and curled up with him.

"No, this is just previews," Jack said, with a shrug. "Did Jett fall asleep? It doesn't usually take that long."

"He wanted to talk," Sam answered, "and that's okay because I like to listen to him talk. He's anxious to start school soon."

"I want him to. He's starting to run circles around his tutor. He adapted to being here faster than I thought he would." He shifted around so that he was sitting deeper in the corner of the couch and put his arm around her shoulders. "So what do you want to do? I meant it when I said whatever you want."

Sam hesitated and then decided it was as good a time as any. "I want to talk. I need to ask you about something."

Jack stilled for a moment and then started breathing again, slowly. "Do I need to be worried?"

"I don't think so. It isn't about us."

"Are we going to continue complaining about new Risk? Because new Risk sucks."

"You're just mad your eight-year-old is beating you."

"No I'm not!"

"Yes, you are, but this isn't about Risk."

"Then what's it about?"

"Langara."

"Ah. I wondered how long that would take."

"What would take?"

"For one of you to start asking when we're going after Jonas."

Sam could only gaze at him for a few breathless seconds and then she blurted out, "Then when are we?"

Jack extracted himself from her arms and stood. Sam, robbed of the support she had been leaning on, fell over a little and then straightened up.

"I'm getting a beer. You want one?" Jack asked.

"Jack!" Sam scrambled to her feet and followed him into the kitchen. "No, I do not want a beer. I want to know when and how we're going to rescue Jonas from the Ori."

"Sam–"

"We don't leave anyone behind. That's been our policy for a decade. More than that, it's your mantra."

"Jonas isn't left behind. He's living legitimately on his home planet by his own choice – though why he wanted to live on a planet inhabited by loons is beyond me." Jack finished rummaging around in the fridge and stood up with a beer in his hand. "I have wine. It's–" he bent down to read the label, "–chablis. Do you want that?"

Sam started to say no, then changed her mind. "Yes," she said, going to the cabinet with the wine glasses and picking the biggest one she could find. She watched him set the bottle on the counter and get the corkscrew out of the drawer. "Jack–"

"It's already being done," he interrupted, pouring her half a glass and then pushing the cork back in the bottle.

"What?"

"I sent a team to extract him two days ago."

With her glass halfway to her lips, Sam stopped and stared at him over the rim. "What?"

"I sent SG-23 in a cloaked Tel'tak to extract him. They should arrive today and I should have a communication from them tomorrow. It's flagged to be sent to me immediately."

"SG-23," Sam repeated. It was one of the teams she suspected was really Special Forces. "And if they can't find him?"

"He has a locator beacon. They should be able to just ring him up to the ship."

"And if they can't?"

"We'll tackle that when it happens. We'll know tomorrow. Can you be all right with that?"

He was giving her a look of genuine concern. Sam set the wine glass on the counter without taking even a sip. She walked over to him and put her arms around his waist.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I should never have doubted you. I don't know why any of us thought that we'd have to come and beg you to go after Jonas."

Jack used the opener screwed to the wall to open the bottle of beer. He drank from it and then put it on the counter next to her wine. "He's one our own, in spite of the boneheaded decision he made to go back to a planet of morons. If he had wanted to stay I would have made a place for him. Probably still on SG-1."

"You would have made it a five-man team?"

"Wouldn't have had to. Daniel wasn't all that keen to get back out there right away. He still felt there was too much he didn't remember. The truth is, I think he would have been happy to spend a year trying to make up to his wife for the hell he put her through. Jonas was welcome to stay. I told him that."

"If we don't find him–"

"We will."

"But if we don't!"

"I know you don't want to hear this but I need SG-1 out there looking for Merlin's weapon. You're the best minds I've got and you have to do that right now."

Sam didn't look happy but she nodded. "If we don't…" she tried again.

Jack looked resigned. "Then I suspect SG-1 will go rogue again, even against _my _orders."

Sam snorted but refused to underestimate him again. "If SG-1 goes rogue to get Jonas, you'll be leading the way," she guessed shrewdly.

Jack snorted and reached for his beer. "Come on. We'll watch some TV until we're sure Jett is asleep." He slung an arm around her shoulders and guided her back to the couch.

"And after that?" she asked, settling down again with her wine glass in hand.

Jack gave her a soft look with slightly raised eyebrows. "I'm sure we'll think of something," he said.

(0)


	291. Chapter 291

There was, of course, no way to convince the ladies to resist a dessert called Chocolate Symphony, though Jillian talked Daniel into getting the chocolate passionfruit mousse so she could have a bite. Cam and Scotty ordered homemade vanilla ice cream.

Before they were even halfway through dessert and the port wine Jillian had chosen for them, Cam and Scotty were talking about staying at the Broadmoor and going to the Stars Night Club after dinner. Vala and Annie were immediately interested. Daniel tried to beg off but was talked into staying for one drink.

In the end it was one drink and a dance, but Daniel could tell that Jillian wanted to go home.

"Come on, Jackson," Mitchell said, "how often do you get your father-in-law to babysit for the whole night? You can do whatever you want!"

With a pointed look over the top of his glasses, Daniel said, "I know. That's why we want to go home."

It didn't take Mitchell long to get it. "Do you mind if Scott brings me to your place to get the car later? It might be really late. I think the girls want to close the place."

Vala was busy flirting at the bar. Scott and Annie were in the middle of a rather vigorous dance, grinning at each other and looking ready to dance the night away.

"No, leave it as long as you like. I can bring it in off the street if you want."

They all had keys to each other's homes, each other's cars.

"No, it's fine where it is. I don't want to wake you all up."

Daniel nodded and then stood up as Jillian came back from a trip to the ladies' room.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.

After they said goodnight, they got their coats and walked out to the car with Daniel's arm lightly around Jillian's waist. Before starting the car he sat back in the seat and said, "You know we could just see if they have a room for the night. Something romantic? Cozy? Maybe one of the spa suites?"

Jillian had put on the appearance of recovering from Vala's mention of Langara. But Daniel knew her better than anyone else at the table. She was still a little rattled, and that had a lot to do with her willingness to call it an early night and his willingness to go along with it.

Jillian gave him a sideways look, and a small smile. "We have a hot tub at home."

"It's outside," Daniel reminded her.

"Do you really want to sit in a hot tub tonight?"

Daniel turned and leaned towards her. "What I want tonight is to make love to my wife. I am only slightly picky about the location."

In the parking lot lights he saw her smile tremble a little. "Slightly picky?"

"Well, I want someplace romantic, someplace where we have room to move around–"

"So the backseat of the car is out?"

"Pretty much. I want a place where we can take our time."

"Then let's go home," Jillian said, her voice husky. "We can light some candles, start a fire."

Daniel smiled back. But he hesitated one more time before turning the key in the ignition. "What about JD?"

"He's with my dad."

"I know. You're not going to suddenly miss him, get worried and want to go get him?"

"I can't promise that I won't suddenly miss him. But I won't wake him in the middle of the night and drag him out into the cold. I'm not that selfish! He loves his grandpa. He'll be fine until morning."

"Even if his mother is wreck by 3am?"

"Well," she answered, in a voice that made his blood stall for a moment and then run hot in his veins. "Someone will just have to tire me out so that I'm asleep by then."

"I promise to do my best," Daniel said.

(0)

The drive home was one long session of foreplay that didn't include a single spoken word or so much as a casual touch. Jillian was aware that Daniel glanced at her from time to time and when she glanced back she saw a man etched in shadows and the occasional flash of oncoming headlights. He looked strong, immediate and yet unearthly and so beautiful she ached for him. Being in love with Daniel meant making love to him every moment they were together, in one form or another. When they finally found time and energy for sex it was just the culmination of being together, the ultimate expression of what she felt for Daniel all the time, what she tried to convey to Daniel and give to Daniel. Every moment of their marriage was spent in passion, even when they had spent hours just trying to get JD back to sleep. They were in this together, always. Her partner, her ally, her strength.

She had seen the way other women in the Penrose Room looked at Daniel. A mischievous part of her had wanted to tell them all, "_He makes love even better than he looks, and that beautiful man is going home with me tonight and every night_."

To be fair, Cameron and Scott attracted just as much attention. Women were known to become utterly speechless when first encountering Scott, and Cameron was certainly striking. But Jillian wasn't remotely interested in either of them.

The only one she cared about was Daniel. By the time they pulled into the garage and walked into the house she was ready to strip him and have him on the couch. They stopped long enough to kick their shoes into the waiting basket and then walked into the kitchen locked in a kiss, with Jillian stripping off Daniel's tie. When they broke for a moment, he breathed deeply into her hair and she nipped at the skin under his jaw. He groaned and she laughed a little, because she was feeling the same way. It had been forever since they had walked into an empty house, without one of them carrying JD and the other lugging a huge backpack full of his toys and clothes and diapers and bottles and everything else they needed just to leave the house and still take care of him. Jillian knew they both adored their son and wouldn't give him up for anything in the world, and they had committed to making sure their love life didn't suffer after becoming parents.

But they had missed this, and it had been too long. She stood up on her tiptoes to reach his mouth with hers. His lips were soft and lush, and he kissed her with a profound gentleness. His hand cupped her head, stroking her hair and she curled an arm around his neck, drawing him close. When she licked his lips, he made a low sound deep in his chest that might have been laughter and opened his mouth. He tasted like wine and his body was warm and hard. He braced his legs when she leaned into his chest and hooked a leg around his thigh, rubbing herself up against him. He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her flat against his body, and she could feel the hard swell of his reaction against her hip. It made her ache with longing and shiver with desire. Daniel was big and hot and male in all the ways that made her turn molten inside.

It was a slow, luxurious kiss for a long time. Somehow they walked into the living room stripping off Daniel's suit as they went. His hands found the zipper at the back of her dress and slid it down slowly, hesitating as they moved and kissed and took pleasure by giving pleasure. As she pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders she kept her touch feather-light, just to make Daniel's muscles bunch and feel the way his body shuddered in reaction. His eyes were closed as he was concentrating on something, listening to a language only he could hear and maybe he was – the language of her touch, in which she told him how much she loved him.

When he opened his eyes they were almost black, ringed with a thin sliver of powder blue.

"I love you," he said, softly.

Pulling his shirt out of his waistband, Jillian whispered, "Show me. Show me how much."

(0)


	292. Chapter 292

Daniel had long ago realized that he adored making love to Jillian. It wasn't just sex. It was something that transcended the simple physical appeal and the earth-shattering nature of their intimate relationship. Except for a flash-fire temper when something made her truly and justifiably angry, Jillian spent a great deal of time being unruffled by everything life had thrown at her since she had met Daniel; or at least she was good at appearing to remain cool and confident in the face of unimaginable things.

There was a certain satisfaction in knowing that he could get past that oh-so-confident demeanor. That he could get her writhing and gasping and pleading with sweat glistening on her apricot-soft skin; and that he was the _only_ one who could. It had been completely unfair to take her out in public in that dress. He knew it and he couldn't help but feel sorry for the men who had looked at her and would never, _never _know her the way he did.

He didn't quite remember how they had eventually wound up on the bed, naked. It was kind of like making love on the floor. He had always wondered why anyone would want to make love on the floor until the first time it had happened with Jillian and then he realized – he didn't know he was on the floor until it was over.

This time, however, he was slightly more in control than she was. He had never liked to drink. He enjoyed the flavor of alcohol the way he enjoyed most things, but if he had a few swallows of something he never saw the point in having a few glasses of it. Jillian had consumed enough wine - and topped that off with a Strawberry Margarita in the Club afterwards – that she was just muzzy enough to let him take over. So he brought her up slowly, over a long period of time, content to just touch and worship with lips and tongue and hands. Her hands were busy as well, but it was aimless – lighting on whatever part of him she could reach but never lingering long enough to do more than add to his arousal.

Daniel had learned Jillian's body well. It was familiar and beloved terrain. He knew exactly how to bring her to the peak and keep her there and sometimes that took quite a while, Daniel knew that once she went soaring out over the edge and into the wind it was very easy to keep her scaling peaks and riding the currents of subliminal joy. It was easy because of the way she willingly surrendered to him.

There were also times, like tonight, when he was content to let Jillian's reactions and touching her and the feeling of her body against his to fuel his own arousal. Yes, he loved the way she was touching him, her hands roving and fluttering like startled doves. When she seemed to come to her senses long enough to wrap strong fingers around his erection and stroke Daniel couldn't quite stop the sound of surprised pleasure that escaped. She smiled against his chest, kissed him and then dissolved into a helpless moan when his fingers rode on liquid desire to find _that_ place.

Jillian melted onto her back, eyes closed in bliss and making soft excited sounds that made Daniel feel as if this was all she had ever wanted in her life.

"_Daniel_…ohgod ohgod," she repeated it over and over until it ended on a broken sob of eager desperation. It was the sound of lust and desire grounded, as always, in love.

She was too beautiful not to watch as she threw her head back and every muscle in her body tightened, shivering, fingers clutching the sheets. Her movements became stuttered. With a strangled, inarticulate cry she began the first of what Daniel was determined would be a long series of climaxes.

He guided her gently onto her side and felt her curl up in a tight ball as her body convulsed in pleasure. He spooned up against her, wrapping her body in his arms and legs and kissed her tousled hair. He placed light feathery kisses along her shoulders. His own body was suddenly on fire with need so he tried running irregular Japanese verbs in his head while Jillian came slowly back down, shivering and shuddering in his arms.

After a few moments, Jillian turned her head enough for him to lean over to kiss her lips. He kissed her as if this was the only way they had left to communicate – through the touch and press of bodies and mouths and in the slow sweet sweep of tongues. Jillian moved her hips in a sensual roll and her tight, lovely bottom brushed his cock. Daniel gasped and fought for self-control even as he instinctively pushed back.

The sound he made caused Jillian to stroke her hand along his jaw. It was a disarmingly tender gesture, designed to help him slow down. Since they were still talking in nothing but touch it also told him she was still willing to let him keep taking the lead.

He was happy to do what she wanted in this case. But he also decided that he'd better not do too much moving for a little while. Daniel gently maneuvered them until she was on top, looking down at him with quizzical eyes. He smiled a bit and put his fingers on her lower back, pushing until the part of her that burned so brightly for him lay directly above the dripping head of his cock. Jillian's eyes slipped closed. The contact was one of her favorites and it never failed to make her shiver briefly with pleasure.

Daniel remained still beneath her, letting her adjust, letting her enjoy. Her knees tightened against his hips. It was quite obvious that he wanted her. His desire was quite evident as he pressed silently against her, pulsing quietly. Her green eyes stared into his. She was waiting for him to move, to enter her, to continue. But Daniel only smiled tenderly, not breaking their eye contact, apparently content for the moment with this shared closeness. He could feel her control slipping away as his cock teased her with stillness.

Jillian leaned over and kissed him. He responded in kind, caressing her tongue with his own while running his hands gently down her back.

She began to rock a bit, rubbing her skin along his, massaging herself against him. His body met hers with gentle strokes, and yet… he still made no attempt to enter her. Blood rushed to the small bud of tissue, each tender caress serving to ripen it further. Sensations began to rise and the tingling warmth grew more intense as she pressed against him. She slid her damp center along his hard smoothness and completion drew closer; nearly within reach…

Jillian cried out in release. Her body stiffened as the first waves of bliss broke through the surface. Spasms of ecstasy surged through her. Her finger grasped Daniel's forearms and she moaned softly, allowing his warm body to bring her to completion. She trembled; her breathing still ragged, and then collapsed on top of him.

Daniel ran his hands soothingly down her sides, over her hips, cupped her bottom and stroked it with his thumbs. Every cell in his body was now acutely aware of her. When she had finished shivering and pulsing Jillian lifted her head and looked into his eyes.

He knew exactly what she wanted but he wasn't ready to have this end. Not quite yet. At least his brain and his heart wanted to continue. His body was more than ready to cease smoldering and burst into flame.

Daniel rolled her off of him and began kissing his way down her body. He waited until he felt her starting to tremble, until the familiar tension began to overtake her. By the time his tongue found her warm, wet and swollen center she was helplessly in his power again. He pressed his tongue to her skin and slid over the tissue with gentle strokes. The tension began to build as he continued his caresses. The sensations of impending orgasm drew immediately closer. Only this time, judging from her arched back and the way she was clinging to the sheets with both fists and how her heels were dug into the mattress, it was stronger and even more powerful.

Jillian cried out again and twisted away from him, trembling with ecstasy as another intense orgasm rushed through her body. She lay still as the onslaught of sensation overtook her completely, gasping in gratitude and curling up again as if she was in pain.

"_Oh god Daniel,_" she sobbed breathlessly. "_Oh god-"_

She broke off as Daniel moved around in front of her again, muscled up against her, kneeing her legs open. The sudden aggression startled her but she responded with willingness. He held his cock in his hand for a moment, seeking her entrance and, once found, vigorously impaled her. Jillian gasped again from the force of the penetration, aroused all over again by his sudden assertiveness. He thrust inside and then hovered for a moment, straight-armed over her, overcome by the way it felt.

Then he lowered his body onto hers, crushing her against his chest. His arms went around her tightly, pinning her as he ground his hips ruthlessly forward and pumped forcefully into her tight, hot sheath. He filled her completely, satiating her and responding to her desire to possess him…to take him inside her and feel his flesh throb against her over and over and over. He was so hard. Long and smooth and slick, he pierced her core with the head of his shaft and stroked her in an intimate place, moving deeply.

Words were just as much a turn on for Daniel as touch. This time they had been unusually silent but now Daniel broke it. He turned his head to whisper a word that had no English equivalent, a word that meant a love so deep he couldn't imagine his life without it, "_Ya'aburnee."_

Jillian broke on an anguished sob. The word and his rich voice in her ear brought her to an instant state of frenzied arousal. They moved in unison together, rocking the bed as their pace quickened. Daniel hesitated, slowed down for a moment, and then frantically drove himself into her.

"_Jill," _he growled her name in a nearly unrecognizable voice, panting. It was warning. It was pure feral _joy_.

Daniel exploded inside her, his ejaculate jetting into her warmth just as she came…again. She clamped down on him and rode the seemingly endless waves of ecstasy. Their climaxes rose up together, entwined as they held one another, molded perfectly to one another.

When Daniel came to his senses again he found that they were still entwined, though he had managed to move a little so he wasn't crushing her completely. He collapsed onto his side, gathering her close. Jillian was utterly boneless in his embrace, her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. She looked peaceful, serene and beautiful. His arms tightened possessively around her, their bodies still embracing skin to skin. In spite of his satiated, exhausted state he felt a rush of tenderness at her vulnerability. Her willingness to trust him and the depth of love she had shown him caused a rush of tenderness. Daniel felt profoundly complete and content.

Jillian stirred only briefly when he reached for the tangled sheets and blankets. As she snuggled down in his arms again, safe and warm under the blankets she murmured something he didn't catch.

"What?" he whispered.

Jillian took a breath as if it was the last bit of energy she had left and said, "_Yuanfen."_

Fate and destiny, a binding force that held two people together against all reason, perhaps across lifetimes. Daniel smiled a little and pressed his lips against her damp forehead.

"_Qiān zǎi xiū dé gòng zhěn mián_," he whispered.

Her answering smile was the last thing he remembered before sleep claimed him.

(0)

Qiān zǎi xiū dé gòng zhěn mián – A Chinese proverb about everlasting love - it takes a thousand eons to bring two people to share the same pillow.


	293. Chapter 293

**This is the beginning of the next short adventure and an attempt on my part to fix the stunning dismissal of Jonas Quinn from the SG multiverse. An ensemble story is very difficult to write and since in my little SG world there is no way Daniel would go back to Kelowna, this chapter is just to set all of that up and pair down the number of characters involved with the rescue of Jonas Quinn. Moonlight and Steel readers should bear with me while I explain why Daniel isn't going. Sunshine and Shadow readers lived through Daniel's first death and Ascension with Jillian and will understand her reaction. The adventure itself will – most likely -only be posted at Moonlight and Steel.**

**I hesitated in posting it because I just learned that we are going to be seriously short-staffed at work for the next two weeks, which means I am probably going to be exhausted when I get home. But posting it will also put pressure on me to finish it. So here we go. Let's go get Jonas and then it's on to Company of Thieves. **

**(0)**

The voice of Chief Harriman was still insistently paging Daniel to his office over the base intercom system as Daniel was exiting the elevator.

"All right, all right," he growled under his breath as he walked more quickly. He checked his phone one more time because if something was wrong with Jillian or JD surely someone would have texted him about it and he wouldn't be getting paged to his own office.

He rounded the corner into the office with a thousand questions all wanting to tumble out at the same time. But they all died unasked when he saw who was waiting for him.

Cameron, Sam, and Teal'c, and seated in the chair at the desk was Jack O'Neill.

Daniel stumbled to a halt.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He spoke as if no one else was in the room and it was obvious that it was directed at Jack.

"Waiting for you apparently. Where were you?"

"On my way home. I was almost in the elevator. How did you get here?"

"Asgard beam," Jack answered. "As to why I'm here, come in and close the door."

Daniel felt a small thrill of alarm as he pushed the door closed with a decisive click. He walked over to his desk and had a short and silent confrontation with Jack over the chair. When Jack didn't get up, Daniel sighed in frustration and hopped up on the table. "So what's up?"

"We heard from SG-23," Jack said.

Sam straightened on the stool at the table. "The team you sent to Langara to search for Jonas," she said.

"Yep."

"What did they find?"

Jack sat back in the chair and rocked it for a moment. "Nothing," he said.

"Nothing?" Sam repeated.

"Oh, they found the Ori. They've pretty much taken over. There are pockets of resistance, but nothing that's making much of a dent yet. What they did not find was Jonas Quinn, or any sign of him."

"His locator beacon," Teal'c began but Jack shook his head.

"No sign of it," he repeated. "Either he doesn't want to be found or he isn't on Langara anymore."

"You're sure?" Daniel asked skeptically.

"SG-23 is the best at what they do, Daniel."

"What exactly is it that they do, Jack?"

Jack refused to answer, just stared hard enough for long enough that Daniel decided to drop it.

"Could he have Gated off-world?" Sam asked.

"It's possible. They weren't authorized to go planetside. They were told to scan for him and see what they could find. There's not much on the public airwaves these days except for Ori propaganda and if he still has a radio he wouldn't – or couldn't – respond to it.

"And they didn't dare try to raise him on the radio too long or too often," Sam guessed.

"No," Jack admitted.

"So when are we leaving to go look for him?" Sam asked, urgently.

"I can't justify sending a team to look for one man who isn't even part of the program anymore, Carter," Jack answered.

"But we _are_ going to look for him," Daniel said, peering at Jack over the top of his glasses.

"All I can do is authorize SG-1 for some serious downtime. You've all got more leave time saved than you ever use. What you do with that is up to you."

The four members of SG-1 exchanged meaningful looks.

"Can you get us an Al'kesh?" Cameron asked Teal'c.

The Jaffa flashed him a wolfish smile. "Indeed. One complete with weaponry, rings and cloaking technology."

"You don't have to go, Cam," Sam said. "You didn't even know Jonas."

"I read the reports. If the rest of SG-1 is going, I'm going," Cam answered. Since there didn't seem to be anyone inclined to argue with him he added, "And I think we should take Vala. This is the kind of thing she should be good at. She can fly an Al'kesh, for one thing."

No one seemed inclined to argue with that either, though all of them looked at Jack, who shrugged and stood up. "If you think she'll help, take her along."

"What about weapons? We can't leave the base with P90s," Sam pointed out.

"We can beam out with them though," Cameron said. Then he looked at Jack for permission.

"Let me know what you need," O'Neill said. "Oh, and make sure you let me know when you're ready to leave."

"Why?" Sam asked, suddenly suspicious.

Jack grinned a little bit. "Because I'm coming too."

Before any of them could react in any way but stunned silence, a light engulfed Jack. It briefly blinded all of them and when it was gone, so was Jack.

(0)

Daniel approached the subject of Jonas very cautiously that night, in his home, after his son had fallen asleep for the night to a soft lullaby from his mother. Jillian joined him in the kitchen, where he was cleaning out the coffee maker and getting it ready for morning. She tried to help but he took the things out of her hands and set them on the sink and pulled her around to face him.

"What?" She asked, instantly alert that something was going on.

Very slowly, with his hands linked behind her back, Daniel told him about Jack's visit and what they were going to do. When he finished he waited. He had believed he was ready for her reaction and for her objections. He even had arguments planned and reassurances.

But nothing had prepared him for what Jillian did next. She stared at him for a moment and then her eyes filled with tears and she flung her arms around him.

"_Don't_," she whispered with her face pressed against his chest and her fists gripping handfuls of his shirt against his back. Her voice was fierce and filled with terror.

"Jill," he gasped her name, startled. His arms tightened around her automatically.

"Don't go there," she repeated. He had never heard her sound this way. Not ever. She had started to tremble as if she was feverish. "Please, Daniel. I have never asked you not to go on any mission. I've never stood in the way of anything you wanted to do, but I am _begging_ you this time not to go. Not to Kelowna. Not there, anywhere but there."

There were few things that made Daniel speechless, but this did. He braced his feet to bring her in closer, tightened his hold on her and bent his head into hers. "Jill-"

"_Daniel_," she cut him off, "Just please _don't._ You weren't here. You don't know what it was like. Jonas was here. He knows. He'll understand! Every time you go there - It's like, it's like Tegalus only worse. Jonas wouldn't ask this of you. He wouldn't ask it of _me_."

It was pretty clear to Daniel by this time that nothing he said was going to make any difference. She had told him once that he was like a star that had fallen into her hands and then she had been forced to put him back in the sky and it was the most painful thing she'd ever experienced.

"The team," he said, helplessly, "Sam, Teal'c-"

"They did just fine without you for fifteen months," she said, sharp as a knife. "I didn't. Daniel, _please."_

She was actually crying now, sobbing into his shirt in a way he had never seen. Unconsciously he had started rocking, the way he did when JD was upset beyond calming.

"Okay," he said, defeated, because _god_ when Jillian cried he would do _anything_ to make her stop. "All right. I won't. Jill, it's okay. I won't go."

It took a moment for what he was saying to penetrate. She took a deep, shaky breath and looked up at him.

"I don't want you to feel controlled. I would never do that to you," she still sounded so torn and miserable that it nearly broke his heart. "This isn't a cage, Daniel. This is your home and I'm your wife not your jailer-"

"Jill, stop. That's not how you're making me feel," he paused to wipe the tears from her cheek with his thumb and then cradled the side of her face in his palm, "I forget sometimes that it was you who endured those fifteen months. I don't even remember them; and you're right that Jonas wouldn't ask any of us to do this. I'm also an idiot who forgets sometimes how much you love me. You seem so strong all the time. So independent. I forget how fragile you can be when it comes to me. I'll tell the team I'm not going. You're right. You have never once asked me not to do something, no matter how dangerous. I can sit this one out. I can think of a dozen things I can be doing with downtime, including spending it with you and JD."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, turning her head to kiss the heel of his hand. "I don't want to hold you back, not ever. But I ..I…"

He pulled her close again and she pressed her face into his chest again. "It's all right," he said again. "You've been through something unique in the history of relationships and come out stronger."

"Not stronger," she said, looking up again and tossing her hair back, "Not stronger at all. The thought of losing you again brings me to my knees. I know that anything can happen to you out there. But there's something about Kelowna…. About Langara."

"I know that now," Daniel said, "I've always known it. Like I said, I'm just an idiot about some things."

"You're the most brilliant man I've ever met," she answered.

"Well, I did manage to marry you, so I'm not a complete idiot; and I've learned the nine most important words I ever need to say to you."

"Only nine in your vast multilingual vocabulary?" Jillian sniffed a little and tried a brave smile.

"Yes." He couldn't keep the emotional quaver out of his voice.

"And they are?"

"I love you," Daniel said, leaning down to sweetly kiss salt-tears from her cheek. "You are beautiful." He paused again to kiss her lips. "Please forgive me."

"_Daniel_," Jillian whispered. She reached up to put her arms around his neck and held him as if she would never let him go.

(0)


	294. Chapter 294

**I thought Daniel should tell the team about his decision.**

**(0)**

Daniel rarely had doubts about any decision he ever made. He had no doubts about this one, not after spending a night with Jillian restless and clinging to him in their bed. He had woken more than once to find her curled up close to him with her fists balled in his shirt. Of the two of them, Jillian had always been the better sleeper; it had always been Daniel who would wake at the slightest movement. But in the cold dark winter of last night, it had been Jillian who jumped and started and moved to touch him if he so much as twitched. The nightmare Jillian had lived after his death existed outside of logic and even outside of everyone else's reality. There wasn't a psychologist on the planet who could help her with what had happened.

Jillian – his true north, his rock, his guiding light – had come as close to breaking down as he had ever seen. It tilted the foundation of his world. His death still followed Jillian like a constant shadow. Every time she was reminded the scars from it bled afresh.

It seemed sometimes to Daniel that by being married to him, Jillian was living a dream and a nightmare at the same time.

Daniel was determined to fix that by putting his marriage ahead of his career for the first time. He would tell the team he wasn't going and they would understand.

He still had a nagging feeling that Jillian would not stop being restless and clingy until SG-1 returned with Jonas Quinn and she knew it was truly over.

He was just slightly surprised that she had chosen to stay home with JD rather than go with him back to the mountain to tell SG-1 that he wasn't going this time.

His team was in their private locker room, going over notes and the report from SG-23 that Jack had sent them. It was one of the few places SG-1 could talk freely on the Base, since security was nonexistent.

"Oh hey, Jackson, c'mon in and have a seat," Mitchell said, scooting over on the bench to make room for him.

When Daniel closed the door but made no further attempt to come into the room, Teal'c paused at his locker and eyed him narrowly.

"What is wrong, Daniel Jackson?"

It was the way they had learned to read each other, over the long years and many missions. The slightest change in breathing was enough to alert one of them that something was going on. When Teal'c spoke, everyone – even the two newest members – turned to look at Daniel.

"I'm not going with you," Daniel said bluntly.

"What?" Cameron blurted out.

"What's going on, Daniel?" Sam asked, almost in the same breath.

Teal'c stiffened and braced his shoulder as if he sensed trouble coming and wanted to head it off. Vala, seated cross-legged on the floor and twirling the end of a ponytail around her finger, sat up straight up. Her eyes got very bright with immediate interest.

"I told Jillian what we were going to do and she, um…" he broke off uncertainly.

"Had a meltdown?" Cam guessed. He'd read the reports without anything in them being redacted but he could still only imagine the personal cost of Daniel's death on his relationship with Jillian.

"It was pretty nuclear," Daniel admitted.

"Man," Cameron sighed.

"I'm sorry guys, but I just can't do that to her. She said that Jonas wouldn't ask that of me and that he wouldn't ask it of her and she's right."

"From what I read you and Quinn are pretty square in the life-saving department," Cameron observed.

Daniel frowned. "Yeah, I suppose. Though I owe him Teal'c and Sam and Jack a few times over, and it's hard to let any of you go off without me. But this is about my relationship with Jill, and she's made it perfectly clear how she feels about me going with you. This is about trust and being honest with each other, and if I don't respect this, I'll lose her."

"Jillian would never leave you, Daniel," Sam protested.

"No, I don't think she would leave me," Daniel agreed, "but it wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't trust me to respect her feelings and that's something I won't risk. Besides, I _do_ respect her feelings. She put up with me freaking out every time there was a threat she might be within a hundred miles of a Goa'uld. I threatened to tie her to a chair once rather than let her come to the base because there were three system lords here."

"Oh, wait!" Cam said, excitedly. "Yu, Camulus and uh…wait…"

"Amaterasu," Daniel supplied, impatiently.

"I was gonna get it," Cameron complained.

"We know, Cam," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"Anyway," Daniel said pointedly. "I'm not going. I'll do whatever I can to help you get ready and if you find that Jonas left Langara we can talk about it again and see how she feels. I don't think it's so much Jonas himself, because I know she loves him the way she loves all of you. I think it's just Langara, Kelowna specifically."

"We all understand, Daniel," Sam said.

"You have made a wise choice, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said and Daniel gave him a long grateful look, because Teal'c had been there every step of the way for Jillian during Daniel's first Ascension. Teal'c knew better than any of them what she had suffered.

He nodded once, opened the door and left the room. SG-1 was silent for a brief moment and then Vala said, sarcastically, "Are all the men on this planet as devoted to the idea of marriage as the ones on this team or are we just lucky to have them?"

A low rumbling sigh left Teal'c that sounded like a warning of an oncoming storm. Mitchell looked pointedly at the report in his hand and remained silent. Very quietly Sam answered her.

"We aren't just lucky to have them, Vala," she said. "We are _very _lucky to have them."

(0)


	295. Chapter 295

**This is a tag to Company of Thieves. The final chapter will be Jack and Sam and will only be posted in Moonlight and Steel. The first two chapters of this tag involve Daniel so it is going to Sunshine and Shadow as well.  
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**(0)**

They were in one of Odyssey's smaller recreation room, mostly reserved for reading and games of chess and checkers. It wasn't usually crowded but once SG-1 had taken it over, no one had bothered them. Mitchell had gathered the team – overriding Jackson's grumbling complaints – because he thought that all of them were stuffing strong emotions down much too deeply. He'd watched the security video and now he knew that Emerson had been killed right in front of Sam. After prodding Daniel out of his tiny quarters and towards the rec room, Cam was pretty sure that Jackson had seen it too.

He was sharply reminded – again – that their civilian scientist had become an SGC hard ass. Cam often wondered if Jackson kept it all inside until he was alone somewhere. He'd wondered if it was Jillian who got to see him go off like a shaken soda bottle. He knew now that it wasn't the case. Daniel accepted his own actions, did what had to be done and moved on. They were living the aftermath of watching a man die in space because of actions he and Vala had taken and Daniel was just as relaxed about that as Cam had ever seen him. He'd even taken the Bridge for a while and handled it with a smart-assed sense of humor and a rough edge of arrogance.

Cam had brought up the subject of Emerson cautiously, thinking only that it was Sam who had too much buried down deep and he wanted to get at it before she let it fester.

"I feel like we should … I don't know," Cam began uncertainly. "Toast his memory or something."

"Why?" Daniel asked. His frown tightened the deep inverted V between his eyebrows, emphasized the lines beside his eyes. Cam stared at him for a moment and wanted to ask him what he meant. But he was pretty damned sure he didn't want an answer from a man with that much aggression in his suddenly very clear, very blue eyes.

"He was a good man," Cam said, tentatively. He was pretty sure Jackson couldn't argue that with that. "We lose too many of those."

Sam looked up at him, eyes bright. "We always do."

Jackson looked around the room, briefly meeting the eyes of each member of his team until he settled at last – and for the longest – on Sam. She looked away first and then Daniel stared deliberately down into his coffee.

"What's goin' on, Jackson?" Cam asked, soft but firm.

Daniel's flickered back up. He hesitated a moment longer and then said, "Emerson had no business giving orders that could get people killed. He should have been buying time, making deals, looking for openings to get his ship back. He had some of the best people in the SGC on this ship, including Sam. He owed it to them to do what he could to keep them all alive."

"Kinda harsh," Cam muttered, wondering when Jackson would stop shocking the hell out of him.

"The man's dead, Daniel," Sam said.

"Yeah, Sam, I know," Daniel said, tight, hard as ice shards, "Emerson had no right putting you in danger the way he did. He had a gun pointed at him. Where did he think it was going to be pointed next if they shot him? So what did he do? He went all military hard 'line in the sand' and that was stupid."

Teal'c, calm and seemingly as emotionally detached as ever, nodded and said, "I agree with Daniel Jackson. As we saw and heard in the recordings, Colonel Emerson was most unwise in his decisions."

Sam sat up a little straighter and glared at them. "This is such bullshit. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking the General would have handled it differently? Probably better? So you're all going to hate him because he wasn't Jack O'Neill?" She challenged. "That isn't fair. No one is."

She shot a short apologetic look at Cam, but he shrugged it off. He had never claimed to be Jack O'Neill.

"I don't hate him and that's not why I'm angry!" Daniel's voice went up for the first time.

Vala had been lounging back in her chair and tapping her fingers on her mug of hot chocolate. Her eyes had been tracking back and forth among her teammates but the tone of Jackson's voice brought her upright, leaning forward. Cameron tensed and prepared to step in. Vala liked trouble and she wasn't above stirring it up.

"I liked Emerson," Vala said. The group turned as one and stared at her. Eyes going wide with innocence, she looked back at them and lifted her shoulders in a quick shrug. "Well, I did." Cam let his eyes rest on her for a while. He was pretty sure what she had just spoken the truth and he was also sure that she wasn't disturbed by having spaced the man who had shot Emerson. It was true that Anateo was no great loss to the galaxy, and Vala had acted to save Sam in the only way she was sure would work. She had just shrugged it off, more easily than Jackson and Cam just wasn't sure whether he should find that disturbing or not.

Daniel had gotten his brief flash of temper under control again. In a carefully neutral voice he said, "Yeah, he was a good man."

In that tone of voice it was possible to put any kind of spin on the sentence. Mitchell was figuring that he meant 'good and stupid.'

Softly, to Daniel, as if they were the only two people in the room, Sam said, "You're just angry because he almost got me killed."

"Damn straight I am," Daniel said, just as softly, "and if I'm mad how do you think Jack is going to feel?"

With a slow shake of her head, Sam got up, spun around and walked out of the room. Cameron waited to see if Daniel was going after her but he was staring into his coffee again. Cam stood up, suppressing a sigh.

Surprisingly, Daniel stood up faster. "I'll go after her," he said.

Cam's eyes narrowed because he really didn't like trying to give Jackson actual orders. "I don't know," he said, uncertainly, "She's pretty upset."

"And I'm part of the reason she's upset," Daniel said. "I'll go."

Cam hesitated a moment longer. He understood that the only absolute for Daniel was the connection he allowed with the people he loved. Jackson was angry with Emerson and whether or not he'd ever cool down and regret the loss of the man he'd known, Cameron didn't know. At the moment Emerson was only the man who had put Sam's life in danger. He was focused on that and Cameron didn't know if he Jackson could get unfocused on it long enough to see how badly Sam was hurting.

But that line of thought wasn't making his life any easier.

Deciding that he needed a second opinion, Cam glanced at Teal'c and got a dignified and graceful single nod. Sighing out loud this time, Cam sat back down.

"Go ahead. I'm pretty sure neither one of you is armed."

Daniel scowled at him and then shook his head dismissively as he walked out after Sam.

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	296. Chapter 296

**Sam and Daniel talk, Company of Thieves after the credits continued. Posted in both Sunshine and Shadow and Moonlight and Steel  
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Daniel didn't have to go far. Sam was not too far down the hall, her shoulders braced against the wall, head tilted back so that she was staring at the ceiling. The artificial light turned her hair moonlight blond.

"So. Are we going to be mad at each other for very long?" Daniel asked, quietly.

Sam lowered her head and looked at him sideways. "I don't want to be. But we can't talk about …. Not like…." She broke off and gestured helplessly with her hands.

"Come on," Daniel said, taking her arm.

When it became obvious they were headed for his quarters, Sam remarked, "It's going to fire up the gossip chain if we're seen running into your room with you dragging me by the arm."

Daniel snorted in derision. "If the gossip chain was ever right Jillian and I would either have been divorced a dozen times or have a dozen kids. So I don't give a damn. It's no one's business anyway."

Sam agreed, technically. But it was the threat of rumors that had kept her and Jack from even using each other's names for ten years.

They made it to his door and Sam got the feeling he resented the way it quietly slid shut. Daniel looked like he was more in a door slamming mood.

But so was she. She dropped down onto the single bed that was attached to one wall and stared up at him.

"You can't do that in front of the team anymore," she said, "You can't make me think about Jack as…. As _Jack._ The whole damned thing has become a secret again because he doesn't want Vala to know."

Daniel opened his mouth, shut it, sighed and sat down on the bed attached to the opposite wall.

"I'm sorry," he admitted. "I'm pissed as all hell at Emerson for risking you like that; for getting the Odyssey commandeered like that in the first place if I really had to make a list of all the things I'm mad at right now. But I was _there,_ Sam. I was on Abydos for the first mission and I remember a man who was just too damned focused on dying to look for another answer. I don't want to ever look at Jack and see that again. I don't want to have to pick him up and see how many pieces fit back together; not while trying to deal with how devastated I'd be at the same time."

"Don't you think I know that?" Sam asked, looking frustrated, "When Anateo had that gun on me right before you and Vala…. dealt with him, all I could think of was Jack and how he would react. All I could think was that maybe we should never have let it get this far. Maybe it would be easier for him if there was still some distance between us. It made me wonder if this whole thing is just _wrong_."

"You don't really think that," Daniel looked like the anger had just finally run out him.

"I do!" She said. "I don't know how to even face him after this. He heard the message with the shot that killed Emerson. All he knew was that shots had been fired. He's been waiting all this time to find out what happened to me. By now he's gotten the rest of the story in the form of the communication burst we sent. I know how pissed you are at Emerson and I think that anger is going to pale in comparison to Jack's reaction."

"He's not going to take that out on you," Daniel said. "He's just going to want to make sure you're all right." Sam bit her lip and looked away. "You _are_ all right, aren't you?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "He's all I can think about."

For the first time in a while Daniel actually fought back a smile. "I know. It's like that when you're in love. Like, it doesn't matter what I went through. I survived it. But Jillian…. I don't ever want anything that happens to me to hurt her. I just don't know how to stop that. I can't stop loving her and I know you can't stop loving Jack; and I know he adores you."

"We felt that way for eight years and never acted on it. I just think now that maybe we shouldn't have. All I had to do was tell him that he had nothing to do with my break up with Pete and he would have left. We'd have gone on as if nothing had happened. It was our pattern and it worked."

"Love isn't an equation, Sam. It's just not that easy." Daniel sat forward, leaning his elbows on his legs and clasping his hands in front of him. His eyes became deep and soulful. His voice dropped into the low timber he used when telling a story, revealing something of himself to the listener, "When I first realized I was starting to feel something for Jillian, I had only just lost Sha're. I told myself over and over that I was just lonely and reacting out of that loneliness. She had become really special to me. I'd find myself reaching for the phone to tell her something, or calling her to my office just to watch her eyes light up with discovery. I'd leave her with projects I didn't trust with anyone else.

"Eventually I realized that love wasn't a 'maybe' thing. Either I was in love with her or I wasn't. I knew it was different than what I felt for Sha're and it always will be. But then when we – SG-1- almost died literally in Hell and I thought 'what if something happens to her out there? What if I never get the chance to tell her how I feel and see if she feels the same way and what might we never have if I don't say something? I'll be the first one to tell you that I've sometimes regretted that, and it's only because of what she's gone through. But I wouldn't, I _couldn't_ give her up and she says she feels the same way about me. I know you don't really regret letting Jack into your life and I doubt that this is going to make him feel any different."

"So grief and fear are the price we pay for being in love?" Sam asked, looking just as soulful and contemplative as Daniel.

"In a way," Daniel said, "That's love, Sam. When eight years later the pain doesn't stop and the fear doesn't go away until you know the one you love is safe. All you and Jack have to do is what Jillian and I can do without thinking – make each other know that everything is all right. I know he's going to be mad as hell at Emerson and there's nothing he can do about it. There's nothing _I_ can do about except be mad. SG-1 and all its extended members almost suffered a huge and irreplaceable loss. We're all scared by that. But you can't let this make you rethink everything you've done the last two years. True love is being willing to take the risk that it won't end 'happily-ever-after'."

"What if I really want it to?" Sam asked, softly.

"Then don't be afraid to set your sights on that," Daniel smiled. "I'm pretty sure that's what he wants too. You said that all you can think of is him. At the moment, I bet all he can think of is you."

Sam fell silent, worrying her lower lip and looking anxious. Finally she said, "I want to be strong for him. I don't want to fall apart."

"You have a team for falling apart on," Daniel said, "and apparently I have a team for venting anger I can't direct anywhere else. I'm sorry you got caught in the crossfire. I hate that I was angry about almost losing you and it wound up getting you upset. That's hardly a good way to be there for you."

"You're one of my best friends, Daniel. You're always there for me. I'm extremely honored to be one of the people you care so much about."

Daniel got up and went to his long coat, which was hanging on the wall. "Well," he said, "My wife, who is very wise in the ways of love and friendship, sent me with something for you." He reached into a pocket and pulled out a blue-wrapped bar. "Ghirardelli sea salt caramel. She said it's your favorite."

Sam's eyes grew wide. "You've had chocolate for me and didn't _immediately_ give it to me?"

"I was waiting for the right time." He sat down next to her and watched her open it. After a few bites that looked like it was just shy of heaven for her, Sam said,

"Thanks, Daniel."

Daniel just smiled. Apparently it was true that the only thing better than a friend was a friend with chocolate.

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	297. Chapter 297

**This is a tag to The Quest, set just before Line in the Sand. The timeframe of Daniel's absence is tricky again, since there has to be time for Sam to recover from the wound she takes in LitS and go into the alternate reality in Road Not Taken. At this point in the time line I made, Daniel has been missing for about three weeks. Also, Jillian references a personal starship – the **_**Jarrett O'Neill**_** – that Sam acquired on the mission to save Jonas Quinn that was posted in Moonlight and Steel.**

**I sometimes run into chapters that I think overlap my stories but I am not entirely sure should be posted in more than one. Since this is mostly Vala and her mindset and her motivations, I decided to put it in Midnight and Dawn even though it heavily features my original character. My writing style has always been the POV of the Outsider and this is the role Jillian fills.**

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"They're not doing anything, Jillian. We're not doing anything." Vala was chasing her down the corridor in the direction of Daniel's office, clipping her heels like an unruly puppy. "We aren't and you know it. How can it not be just as infuriating to you as it is to me?"

"We're doing everything we can," Jillian said, tightly. "We're doing it the best way we can; and that will be a lot easier if SG-1 isn't suddenly down two people. There's more than one reason you're on that team."

"But business as usual?" Vala cried, following her into the room. "Regular missions with the occasional special assignment hoping we run into him or that my presence somehow draws Adria out of hiding? We have to do better than that!"

Jillian dropped a file onto the desk and sat down heavily in Daniel's chair. She looked away from Vala, getting her temper under control, and her eyes fell on the framed photograph of their wedding day. It wasn't one of the posed pictures. It had been taken in between, when she and Daniel had turned to smile at each other in unbridled joy. Daniel had been laughing at something she had said, his eyes bright behind the glasses.

She felt the burn of tears and fought them down. She had always known that the Daniel would be the one putting his head in the next Repository they came across. Teal'c and Sam had assured her that this one seemed different – not a Repository of the Ancients, but only of Merlin, and possibly only of the information needed to build the weapon. Daniel should be able to handle that with ease.

But they had also told her that Daniel's individual personality seemed to be merging with Merlin's and, at times, submerging entirely. That might be just because Daniel was willingly giving up control in order to get the weapon built. It was a sacrifice he would make and Jillian knew that. She also knew that Daniel was one of the strongest personalities she had ever met. He had single-mindedly taken over the Replicators and destroyed them. She had no idea how he was going to get Merlin out of his head when this was over but, as long as they got Daniel back, she knew that he would find a way.

She forced herself to look away from the photograph before the physical ache of missing him became more than she could bear. "No wonder Jack denied your last three requests for an appointment. He already knows what you're going to say. You're going to have to come up with a better argument than 'we have to do better,' and you don't need his permission to leave."

"I have resources–"

Jillian cut her off. "That don't always work out the way you think they will and sometimes wind up just getting your team in deeper trouble! Jack won't authorize that."

Vala's frustration was shining in her eyes and showing in the way she started pacing the short width of the room. "General O'Neill knows – he knows – in ways none of the rest of you do, not even Cameron! – that I am invaluable precisely because of my questionable background and my not-so-forthright connections. Why won't they let me use them?"

When Jillian didn't answer Vala stopped pacing and spun around, another demand on her lips.

The look in the other woman's deep green eyes stopped her, made her breathless.

"If you could really do all the things you're claiming," Jillian began, in a quiet, deadly voice, "if you really had all those resources at your disposal to help you find Daniel and you really loved Daniel the way you've claimed, you'd already be gone. Nothing we had to say about it would stop you. If your most valuable contribution to the team really was your ability to play outside the rules you'd already be out looking, and if I believed you, I'd have gone with you."

Vala swallowed and felt an odd heavy weight in her chest. In that moment she realized that banging her head against the Great Wall of the SGC had allowed her to feel that she was doing something, taking some action in the quest for Daniel Jackson. She had let the process of pleading-and-being-denied be the total of what she was actually doing.

And Jillian had known it even before she had. "You can go, Vala," Jillian went on quietly. "You could have walked away on any given mission. No one would stop you. You aren't our prisoner. There must have been planets we've visited where you had a ship stashed. I suspect you have one on Earth, or in orbit around it. You could even probably take the Jarrett O'Neill from Sam if you wanted it. I bet Sam would give it to you, if she thought it would help find Daniel. You don't want me to take your side, Vala, or to advocate for you. You only want me to think you're committed to finding him. You want me to tell you that running off after Daniel is a stupid thing to do and it is. So I don't have to tell you that."

"I do want to find him!" Vala protested, weakly.

"Not enough to leave the team," Jillian answered.

The pain of that truth flashed in Vala's eyes. "I need to talk to General O'Neill," she insisted.

"Why?" Jillian asked, mystified and starting to be a little frustrated herself.

"Because he has a whole career's worth of undercover operations, from what I understand, even though he conveniently allows everyone around him to forget that! He can tell me what will work!"

"I've known Jack a long time, Vala. The last time he got talked into swooping in with big guns to rescue Daniel was Tegalus and we lost the Prometheus and a lot of good people as a result. Jack won't make a mistake like that again. But if you think he isn't doing anything, you're wrong. You have no idea what power he actually commands and if you think you're willing to play outside the rules, Jack tossed the rule book in the fire a long time ago. The tactical recommendation he'll give you is to stay with your team. Keep playing in Cameron's band as bait until we manage to flush Adria out of hiding. Mostly he'll tell you that to make sure you stay out of his way and don't mess up whatever he has going. As for Adria, I suspect that whatever she's going to do to Daniel, she's already done it." Jillian paused, swallowed hard and glanced at their wedding photo again. "Vala, sit down. You're making me dizzy."

Vala resisted for a moment and then plopped down on a stool at the table like a puppet with cut strings. She had already gotten the lecture from Cameron about having to watch a teammate risk his life and how that was harder than risking your own. She suspected that she might be about to get the same lecture from Jillian. The difference was that she could ignore Mitchell. The woman in front of her had survived seven years of loving Daniel Jackson and she had earned the right to lecture on the subject.

"Daniel will come back, Vala," she said, softly and Vala blinked, because it wasn't the lecture she'd been expecting. "He always does. He'll find a way. It won't be conventional or expected and he'll have us all scrambling to catch up with him. But he will come back and when he does I suspect we'll be raining hell down on the Ori. If I have a religion it's complete faith in Daniel."

Vala regarded her for a long time. Then she said, "I used to think I wanted to fall in love with Daniel and, I'll be honest with you, I didn't think a little thing like being married to someone else would stop him from returning the sentiment. I've learned better since then. I'm also pretty sure that trying to love Daniel the way you do would leave me exhausted before the first year was out."

That made Jillian smile a little. "I don't think you'd last a whole month," she said. But then she added shrewdly, "But you do love him."

"Not that way," Vala said, "Not like I've seen you love him. I'm not sure I've ever loved anyone the way I've seen the two of you love each other." She ducked her head and looked at Jillian, "You said you would go with me, if you believed I really knew how to find him?"

"Of course I would," Jillian said, "I'd do anything for Daniel. So would my team, though that's mostly because they'd do anything for me. You've noticed that SG-8 has been going on more missions than usual? Do you think it's because we just love collecting soil samples?" She leaned forward, "Look, Vala, the team needs you in Daniel's absence even more now than it did before. We're the civilians in the mix. Someone has to question, and complain, and protest, and consider the options and the angles the military mind usually rejects. Even Sam is too conditioned to following orders. Why do you think she never questioned Emerson, even while she was stalling for time the way Jack taught her to do? Daniel is the one who wasn't afraid to speak up, and whether he knew it or not, that task always fell to me on SG-8. Someone has to have the outside perspective, ask the inconvenient questions. That's partially what you were doing when we first started this conversation."

Vala's eyebrows knitted thoughtfully. "I've never seen Daniel do that, not alone. Occasionally Mitchell will want to do something and the whole team will dissent, but not just Daniel."

"That's experience and the fact that he's thawed a little in his complete resistance to a military answer. Plus, Cam is young and Daniel's still testing him, waiting to see what he'll do."

Vala looked startled. "He is?"

Jillian sighed and rolled her eyes. "Cam is Daniel's biggest fanboy."

"What?"

"Nothing," Jillian said, "Suffice to say that Cam would listen to Daniel without Daniel having to be a jerk about it."

"Are you suggesting that I be a jerk about it?" Vala asked.

"I'm suggesting that you stay with your team and try to figure out how to best serve Daniel in that way. I think it's really what you want everyone to tell you. We already talked about that."

They fell into a long silence. Jillian could tell that Vala was considering everything they had said, weighing and measuring. But she already knew that staying with the team was more important to Vala than going rogue in a search for Daniel. She didn't know how much of that might be her growing feelings for Cameron, or just a stubborn inability to look beyond her own best interests. Either way, she knew Vala would stay.

Vala finally stood up and said, "Well, I guess I've taken up enough of your time. Thank you for the advice and just, well for listening. I know you said that it's what I want everyone to tell me, but it means more coming from you. You're his wife, Jillian. If I expected anyone to tell me to go it was you."

"Daniel's wife is telling you to stay with the team. Jillian North would tell you that you should do what feels right to you."

"I appreciate the honesty," Vala said.

She started to leave and then paused in the doorway. "You really think that General O'Neill is doing something to find Daniel?"

Jillian looked at her wedding picture again and then nodded grimly. "I don't just think it, Vala. I know it for a fact."

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	298. Chapter 298

**Prior to Line in the Sand. This chapter is unique to Sunshine and Shadow in that it features Jillian off-world with her team. One of the things I wanted to explore in this story was another SGC team and how they care for and bond with one another. There have been hints of it, enough so that I hope you understand how close my SG-8 is.**

**Previously in Sunshine and Shadow (admit it, you read that in Chris Judge's voice didn't you?) Jillian was given the unofficial 'call sign' Rose when Siler remarked that she was a rose among three thorns on her team.**

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P87-X450 was mostly sand. Daniel, of course, had loved it. He loved the small desert villages and the people and the warm sun. But he had only really come here once and P87-X450 had somehow become the responsibility of SG-8. They had been there a number of times over the years though there was very little the planet could offer in the way of resources or defenses. The SGC had a small iron ore mining operation to help with the metal needed to build the 304s but the closest real settlement was ten miles from the Gate – a small town called Gulah.

The mining operation had been reporting that all was quiet, no sign of the Ori or of any Priors. Landry wanted a face-to-face with their local contact anyway. So SG-8 had gotten the assignment. Gulah was a typical desert town of flat-topped, squared-off adobe buildings, narrow cut windows, fading and tattered awnings and dusty streets. But there was water here, so Gulah thrived.

They stopped at a well just outside of the town and rinsed off the sand and sweat as best they could, refilling canteens after pouring water over their heads. It was early in the season so the temperature wasn't unbearable. But there was really only one season on p87-X450 – hot.

Jillian sat down on the edge of the well and put her bandana in the water, wiping her face and squeezing water down the back of her billowy desert outfit. They had changed at the mining camp because no one walked the ten miles to Gulah wearing SGC uniforms. Then she dug out a granola bar and ate it in a few bites that she washed down with more water. She paused and looked up to find Mallory watching her speculatively.

"What?" She asked.

"You okay?" Colonel Mallory asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's hot. That's all."

"We can stay the night if you want. There's a scheduled check-in in three hours. I'll just tell them we're staying. Haddid can give us a room."

Jillian stood up and shook her head. "No. There's only ten miles between me and my son. Let's just find out if there's been any activity from the Ori and if they know anything about Daniel. Then I want to go home. All of you want to go home and I'm not going to be the reason you can't. Besides," she paused and wrinkled her nose, "The rooms at Haddid's never have doors and the mattresses are always…interesting."

Mal continued to stare at her for another minute or so and then he nodded. "All right, but we're all going to rest in the shade, eat something and drink lots of water before heading back."

"Always a good plan in the desert," she said, with a smile that she hoped was reassuring.

Haddid was their contact on this world. They made their way through a street market, heading for the inn and cantina that Haddid owned and ran in Gulah. The scent of fruits and cooking mutton, spicy peppers sizzling on braziers, and pungent cheeses assaulted them from all sides. Mal made them stop and eat since food at Haddid's was always questionable. Scotty and Rusty dove in with abandon, stealing food off each other's plates occasionally when one of them would extol the taste of a particular item. Mallory ate with one eye on Jillian. Jillian ate as if they weren't going to see food again for a while. When Rusty remarked on it, she said that she had missed some of the foods offered on P87-X450.

Then Mal led them to Haddid's. Evening had fallen and the small tap room was lit only with flickering candles on rough-hewn tables. Mal chose one in a dark corner, a windowless nook veiled in smoke from a dying torch stuck in an iron sconce on the wall. There were only stools to perch on. Jillian swept crumbs off the table as Mal stole a candle from another table to add to theirs.

Haddid was a small, neat man of ready smile and instant welcome. He had dark hair, a trim goatee, and friendly sharp eyes. He was hurrying across the room to greet his new customers, calling out to them and offering them the best his establishment had to offer.

In the bad light, wreathed in smoke, the men were practically invisible in their robes with their heads still covered. No one seemed to recognize them, not Haddid and not even the wine-girl Sateen who had never been able to keep her hands off Scotty any time they had visited.

But Jillian was, well, Jillian and no one on P87-X450 who had seen her once ever forgot her. When he got close enough to see her, Haddid, stopped, faltering and then broke into an expression of pure joy.

"My friends! My friends of the Tau'ri! Welcome! Welcome! Sateen! Bring a fresh jug of wine from the cellar! The very best red. Go! Go! Quickly."

Sateen turned to look at the table and her eyes grew wide before she blushed and then hurried away. Haddid came to the table in a rush, insisting on hugs and the touch of both cheeks to all of theirs, lingering on Jillian like a fond uncle. Scotty leaned over and snagged a stool from another table and Haddid sat down with them.

They spent a very short time catching up before Sateen returned with a large jug of wine and glasses. She gave Scotty a shy but saucy smile as she poured for him, bumping her hip against his shoulder. She moved on to Mallory as Rusty elbowed Scott in the ribs and gave him a knowing look.

"What?" Scotty said, looking affronted, "I'm engaged."

Jillian put her hand over her glass when Sateen reached her and said, "Just water, please, Sateen." When all of her team gave her a quizzical look, she said, "I've been here before with the three of you. I'll be the 'designated walker'."

"We're not going to be here long enough to get drunk, Jillian," Mallory said.

"I'll still just have water," she answered, then she looked at Sateen again, "Oh, and can you bring me some fruit? Anything is fine."

Scotty and Rusty shrugged and started drinking. Mallory watched Jillian a moment longer. But when she met his gaze unflinchingly he went back to talking to Haddid, who was still overjoyed to see them.

"But I sense you are not here for pleasure, my friends. It is a long way for you to come just to renew old friendships, yes?"

"No, Haddid, I'm afraid we're not," Mallory said. He took a long swallow of cool wine and then began to tell their contact about the Ori. When he was done Haddid was very somber.

"There's more," Jillian said, softly.

"Tell me," Haddid answered, straightening his shoulders.

"Daniel is their prisoner," Jillian said, "He's been missing for weeks. We're telling all our allies about the danger and also, if you learn anything about Daniel-"

"I will let you know immediately!" Haddid cried, taking her hand. "I will take my fastest horse to the mining camp and tell them and they will contact you. Yes?"

Jillian smiled at him in gratitude. "Thank you, Haddid," she said.

The little man stood and clapped his hands. "Now, you must come out back. There is a patio there and the evening breeze will be cool."

"I'm afraid we can't, Haddid. We need to start back. We want to make the Stargate before dark," Mallory said, standing.

Scotty hurried to finish his wine as he stood. Jillian and Rusty stood up too, gathering backpacks. They waited because Haddid insisted on giving them bread and cheese to take with them and then they went back outside. They took some time to visit other people who knew them and Daniel, and spread the word about the Ori and the search for Daniel. They had collected quite a few gifts of food to add to the bread and cheese before they were done. The evening was starting to cool as they turned and headed back for the Stargate.

(0)

The road between the Stargate and Gulah was wide and well-traveled. It also connected to three other small, desert towns. It traversed the scrubland between the mountains and the true desert to the south, the Tinja, across which only the very brave or the very stupid attempted to go. The road was hard-packed dirt, dry and dusty. There were tough grasses and bushes, some cacti and other succulents growing on either side. There were shelters along the way for travelers to stop and rest.

They made pretty good time at first, well-rested and fed and anxious to be home. They moved at a pace that suited Mal – fast enough to get there before true dark and slow enough not to exhaust them too quickly. But Mal was also very tuned into his team. After ten years he knew exactly how fast they should be going and what they should be able to do and it was obvious to him that Jillian was lagging just off her usual confident pace. She'd be frustrated if he told her that he had always let her set the pace and it had nothing to do with being female or civilian. It had to do with the length of her stride and that was it. He kept a close eye on her without being blatant about it, because she'd know and he really didn't want that.

He was counting on her being too smart to not tell him if she needed to stop and eventually he was proven right.

"Mal," Jillian said, as they approached a rest shelter that was only four miles from the Gate. "I need to duck into the brush behind here for a moment. Okay?"

Mallory stopped and looked at her with a shrug. "That's never a problem. Go ahead."

Jillian nodded and dropped her pack on the road as she rushed off to find some privacy.

"Watch out for snakes!" Rusty yelled.

"It's not her first rodeo, Russ," Mallory drawled. But then he raised his voice and called after her, "And the spiders! And the sandcats."

Scotty's brow furrowed. "The sandcats only come out at night don't they?"

"Can't be too cautious," Mal answered.

The men waited patiently but in the quiet they could hear the unmistakable if muffled sound of Jillian being violently sick. They exchanged looks of shared anxiety.

"Lawrence! Go find out if she's okay," Mal said.

"Me?" Scotty squeaked. "Why?"

"How about because I just ordered you to do it, Major?" Mal replied.

"Oh," Scotty said, deflated, "Yes, sir." He put down his pack next to Jillian's and stalked off into the scrubby brush calling, "Jill? You okay?"

When Mallory was certain that Scott was out of earshot he said, "Russ? When was the last time Jillian got sick?"

"Never?" Rusty answered.

"No, really. When was the last time she couldn't keep dinner down and passed on a glass of wine? Not that Haddid's wine is going to win any gold medals but it's actually pretty good and she's never said no before. When was the last time she couldn't seem to eat enough fruit? When was the last time she just plain couldn't seem to eat enough period? Come on, Russ, you're a smart man with two kids."

There was understanding and alarm growing in Rusty Davidson's deep blue eyes. "Bloody fucking hell," he muttered, "You think she's pregnant again."

"I'm pretty sure, yes," Mal admitted.

"Dr. Jackson has been missing for two months!" Rusty protested.

"So? Could have happened before he was captured. Besides, you know she doesn't actually need Dr. Jackson. All she needs is the Asgard."

"Wouldn't we know if the Asgard had been here? Wouldn't she tell us? We're her team for chrissakes!"

Mallory hadn't stopped watching the direction Jillian and Scotty had gone, or listening intently. "She doesn't want me to order her on stand down. She doesn't want to be told she can't go off-world anymore."

Rusty sighed and scratched at his scalp under the wrapping. He muttered something under his breath. "Because of Daniel," he said with an exasperated sigh.

"Because of Daniel," Mal acknowledged, "She wants to be out here looking for him, and there really hasn't been a single instance of Gate travel proven to be unhealthy for pregnant women."

"Are you going to talk to her?"

"I don't know. If it becomes known she probably will be taken off the roster and then-" Mallory stopped, sighed and shook his head.

"What?"

"She's got friends with access to starships. If she can't look for Dr. Jackson this way, with us to protect her, what do you think she's going to do?"

"Fucking hell," Rusty muttered again. "So what do we do?"

"Wait her out. Take care of her. We don't have much choice if we don't want her to go rogue on us. She hasn't in a while. She's overdue and nothing is more likely to trigger it than needing to do something for her husband."

"But JD-"

"I think she'd leave him with her father and take off in search of Daniel in a cold minute," Mallory said.

"Crap," Rusty said, knowing he was right.

They looked up to see Scotty and Jillian walking back across the sparse grass.

"Just play it cool, okay?" Mal advised.

"Yeah," Rusty said in a way that meant he was not happy at all.

As Jillian dropped down to sit on the road by her pack and Scotty got her a canteen to drink from, Mal said, "You okay?"

"Yes. Sorry. Too much heat and spicy food, I guess. I should have known better."

"'Sokay," Mal answered. "You gonna make it back? It's four more miles."

"Yes, I feel much better." She finished the water and gave the canteen back to Scotty with a grateful smile. Rusty bent down and put a hand under her arm, helping her up.

"You're sure you okay?" He asked, looking anxiously into her eyes.

Jillian sighed as she bent over to get her pack and settled it in place. "You're not all going to ask me that every five minutes for four miles, are you?"

"No," Mallory said, as they began walking again.

After a few strides, Scotty said, "Probably every ten minutes, give or take."

"Oh god," Jillian said, with mock exasperation, "So much to look forward to."

"It's just because we love you, Rose," Rusty said.

There was a brief silence before Jillian answered, "I know, Rusty. Believe me, I do know."

(0)


	299. Chapter 299

This chapter begins the missing scenes and tags to The Shroud, another multilayered episode with lots of needed explanation and depth. This should have been a two-parter at least. It was much too short, IMO.

Jillian stared at the image on the security screen and tried to breathe. Jack was standing behind her, close enough for support. She didn't say anything, and he could see that she had gone chalk white.

"I warned you this wouldn't be easy,"he said, softly.

"You did, and I thought I was prepared,"she answered."I told Vala that when Daniel came back it would be in some spectacular and unexpected way. But even I never imagined this."

"You want to go up there?"'Up there'was to the ship. Going 'up there'meant talking to Daniel. She knew that's what Jack wanted. There was no Ori Prior or Ancient magician who could fake being Daniel with Jillian, not if she was allowed to really talk to him.

Beside them Vala said, "Let me go talk to him first."

Jillian tore her eyes away from the image of Daniel –mutilated into the form of their enemy –and looked at Vala. "Why?"She asked.

"Because I can find out if Daniel is in there at all. I can tell you if that's Merlin or Daniel."

"And you think _I _can't?"Jillian said, with a flash of irritated temper. "That's my husband."

"IS it?"Vala shot back, "It seems to be him. Let me talk to him and I'll find out. If it's Merlin, well from what I've read he was quite a womanizer. If that man up there doesn't respond to me we can safely assume that Daniel Jackson is still around and in control at least some of the time."

Jillian's eyebrows lifted. "You're going to try to seduce my husband?"

Vala shrugged. "I've tried it before many times and met with absolutely no success. So I'm not sure what you're worried about."

"You'll be able to tell if it's Merlin or not. What about if he's really become a Prior?" Jack demanded.

"I suspect that will be up to me to determine,"Jillian answered.

The two women held each other's eyes in a silent conversation and then Jillian turned to Jack. He responded with a facial shrug, giving the decision back to her. When she swallowed and gave a single tight nod, Jack told Vala, "All right. Go ahead."

"I want to go with her,"Jillian said. "I'll talk to him too, after she does. If that's all right?"

"Of course it's all right,"Jack answered, "It's why I brought you here in spite of the fact that if that _is_ Daniel he's going to want to choke me for bringing you into this."

"Do you really think that's not Daniel, Jack?"Jillian asked.

As she watched, his expression went from relaxed and laconic to sharp and clear. "That's what I want all of you to tell me, before I decide,"Jack answered.

He started to turn away and Jillian caught his arm. "Jack."Her voice shook. "You're not going to let them execute him, are you?"

The sharp, clear look turned hard and cold as well. Jillian had to resist shivering a little. The IOA should have known better than to pronounce a death sentence on an operative with as much personal and professional value to General O'Neill as Daniel Jackson had."Listen to me, Jillian. I suspect that's a bluff to get what they think they can actually achieve. They're trying to force me into an 'anything but that'mindset. Woolsey's an idiot but he isn't a complete fool; especially when it comes to this kind of power play. The IOA doesn't have the power to summarily execute someone, not even an enemy prisoner. They want something else and they want to come in from a position of power to achieve it. In the most basic terms, they've come in like the whiny children they are, demanding a pony and hoping to get a kitten."

"Then what _do_ they want to do with him?"

"Not anything I'm going to allow."

"What are you going to do?"She asked, eyes wide and heart starting to pound a little.

"Force them to tip their hand,"Jack said, grimly, "At that point my answer will be 'over all of your dead careers'. I accepted this job and the extra set of stars to _be_ where the buck stops. The IOA does not want to get into a pissing contest with me, and it really doesn't want one over Daniel."

All those years with enemies on two fronts –the Goa'uld, and the Replicators on one side and Kinsey and the NID on the other –had forced Jack into a decision to protect the people he claimed as his second family. It was why he was here in the first place. It was why he had taken this off Landry's shoulders and placed it squarely on his. It should have given him the authority to act quickly and decisively, unimpeded in his decisions.

Then the IOA had stepped in and demanded his attention. So now he was deploying other personal to help him with those decisions while he reminded Woolsey how quickly he could cut the legs off the IOA.

Vala was staring in a kind of awed silence. Jillian was fighting tears of gratitude. For the briefest moment she had forgotten –truly forgotten, and maybe it was because of the stress of Daniel being a Prior with an Ancient wizard stuck in his head and what he was asking them to do ….

But somehow she had forgotten that the man in front of her was General Jack O'Neill.


	300. Chapter 300

Jillian had watched Vala interact with Daniel on the ship's security feed. From what she could tell it seemed to be Daniel – a man under an insurmountable amount of pressure to be heard, sharing a body with the conscious of a man centuries dead and probably dealing with no small amount of post-traumatic stress from being held prisoner for so long.

As Vala stood up off the stool and left the room, Jillian felt her stomach roil and queasiness rising up in her throat.

_Oh god, not now,_ she thought.

Vala bounced into the room with much too much enthusiasm given the circumstances. "As far as I can tell, that was definitely Daniel I was talking to," she said. Then she stopped, and sobered, seeing how pale and shaky Jillian was. "Do you need to sit down?"

"No, I-" Jillian didn't get any further. She turned on her heel and fled out the door, down the hall and disappeared into the first bathroom door she found with Vala hard on her heels. It was a single stall room, which forced Vala to wait rather helplessly by the sink while Jillian was just as helplessly sick on the other side of the door.

When Jillian finally emerged a moment later she staggered to the sink, splashed water on her face, rinsed out her mouth and then sank down to sit on the floor with her knees drawn up. Vala hesitated a moment and then sat down beside her.

"You okay now?" She asked.

"No," Jillian sighed. "But give me a minute."

Vala sat back on her heels and waited, but not silently. "Jillian, I know this is stressful but I've read an awful lot of SGC mission reports and I can't remember a single one of SG-8's in which you fell apart, unless all three men on your team have been covering for you and I find that highly unlikely. Are you sick? Did you eat something bad?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Darling that was not _fin_e just now."

"Vala, drop it." The color was coming back to her face and Jillian sat up a little, putting her head against the metal wall.

The other woman glared at her. "You don't react like this under pressure. I've known other women like you, Jillian. You're the kind who love beyond all reason, cry behind closed doors and fight battles other people won't touch. So unless you really have picked up some kind of stomach flu or-;" and then her expression changed suddenly to a fierce, narrow-eyed suspicion. "Are you pregnant?" When Jillian didn't instantly deny it, Vala pounced. "You_ are!_ I should have figured it out faster. This all looks very familiar now that I think about it. You have to remember I've been here and done this."

"You can't tell anyone," Jillian said through her teeth. "Especially not Daniel. If that is Daniel-"

"It is," Vala said, nodding with such animation that Jillian had the feeling she was still trying to convince herself. There was too much at stake for them to be wrong.

"If it is Daniel," Jillian went on as if she had spoken, "Then he's already dealing with enough."

"How long?" Vala asked. "I mean, how long have you known?"

"From the first day, four weeks ago."

Vala chewed on her lower lip and looked uncomfortable. "I suppose I don't need to point out that Daniel has been gone for two months; though, mind you, I have no doubt at all that it's Daniel's."

"It's complicated, Vala and I'll tell you someday. But yes, it's – _she's_ – Daniel's."

She started to climb back to her feet and Vala rushed to help her. It was disconcerting that Jillian didn't immediately shake her off.

"Well if this plays out like it should I won't get another chance to even talk to Daniel, so it's up to you at this point," Vala said. "What are you going to do now?"

Jillian gave a shaky smile. "How do I look?"

Vala fussed with Jillian's hair for a moment and brushed imaginary lint off her clothes. With a forced, bright smile, she said, "You look fine. Besides I don't think Daniel's going to even notice how you look. The two of you haven't seen each other in months." Vala took one more shot at fluffing the hair over Jillian's forehead and then said, "I think you'll do. Ready?"

"Yes," Jillian said, "I need to talk to Daniel."

(0)

No one tried to stop Jillian and she chose to ignore the guards at the door. She and Daniel could speak any one of seventeen shared languages if they wanted privacy.

Daniel's marred and tortured face registered shock and then anger when she came in. He turned away as far as he could and closed his milky eyes.

"God damn it, Jack," he muttered.

"What did he do now?" Jillian asked, walking forward with bold strides even though her legs were shaking.

"I never wanted you to know about this, much less see it!" Daniel shouted.

"So it would have been better for me to go on thinking you were still a prisoner, possibly being tortured, maybe even dead?" Jillian shouted back.

She waited, holding her breath. Her Daniel would have one of two reactions to that: He would instantly be contrite, remembering what he had put her through, or he would freeze her out in a continued ice cold chill of anger. He was already acting very unlike himself. His conversation with Jack was disturbing. It was utterly unlike him to bring up the situation with Ba'al, ever, especially not to antagonize Jack when all he wanted was to make Jack trust him.

Daniel struggled briefly with his temper and then folded like a deck of cards. "I never meant to hurt you. Are you all right? Is JD all right?"

"Yes, we're both fine. Daniel, what's going on? _Talk_ to me!"

In absolutely clear Abydonian, Daniel answered, "I will. Like this."

Jillian ground her teeth. She and Daniel were probably the only two people left in the Universe who spoke Abydonian. But she had not used it in years and she didn't have his instant recall of every language at her disposal. "Slowly," she said in return.

Daniel nodded and looked relieved. "It's me, but it's also Merlin still. He's given me powers, the powers of the Ascended. He also woke up some of the Ancient memories. I _do_ still have them. So sometimes I'm not sure if it's something he's brought with him or something I remember how to do. He's also helping me enhance the Prior abilities."

"They told me! They told me you'd been given telekinesis after you stuck your head in that thing!" She was fighting to remain calm, to listen to him with her heart and with her head.

"Yes! That and more now." He was starting to speak rapidly and she made a motion with her hand to slow him down again. He took a deep breath. "I know you always said that I'd be the next one with my head in a Repository and you weren't wrong. But we need to fight about that later. Right now I need your help."

"My help? You just told me you're sitting there with a world of super powers at your command! I don't understand why you're even still in the chair!"

"_Because I turn into a monster when I have that much power_!" Daniel shot back at her. He looked fierce and miserable.

Jillian's jaw dropped open and her eyes flew wide in shock. This then was Daniel. If it was Merlin or a Prior he would have already gotten out of the chair. It was Daniel's insecurities keeping him from acting. That was why he wanted everyone to trust him. "No you don't-"

"Shifu's vision-"

"_Stop it_! You could never be that man. We settled that years ago!"

"Did we? I've just never been in the position to test it until now."

"We've tested it over and over," Jillian said. "Even when you were Ascended you didn't turn into some kind of monster."

"Maybe you want to ask _Jack_ about that!" Daniel snapped.

Jillian's breath caught. So that had been the reason for bringing up Ba'al. Daniel had been so certain that he was right about that; and now he was positive he had been wrong.

"I can't take this kind of initiative, Jillian, not with this kind of power. I'll hurt someone. I need someone else. I need _Jack. _I'm running out of time."

He stopped talking, breathing hard. Jillian took the time to carefully consider what he had just said. Very slowly, in precise Abydonian, she said, "You need all of us to believe this is you. You need us to back up your plan and see that it gets carried out; which would happen, Daniel, if we can all just be damned sure this is you. You don't want to make a command decision because a vision you had years ago still has you freaked out. You wanted to be _deployed_, like in the old days. You need someone to take command of you and control you – and it sounds like you want that to be Jack - so that you can be the specialist with special skills and knowledge that you've always been. How am I doing so far?"

Daniel looked away but not fast enough to hide the longing and pain in his ruined eyes.

"I'm not sure you're going to get that, Daniel. Not if you're running out of time." She walked closer to him and put her hands on his arms, touching him for the first time in months. The touch was electric. But she fought it down and forced herself to look into his eyes. The clear, tropical blue she loved was gone. But the lashes somehow looked longer with their frosted tint. It almost broke her heart. "That vision was generic. It was about humanity's inability to resist the power in the Goa'uld genetic memory. It was _not _about you specifically."

"Are you sure? Am I not human now?"

She got it immediately. Daniel wanted her to tell him what they all wanted to know. Before he could act he needed her to tell him whether or not he could be trusted. In a low, deadly, heated voice, Jillian said, "Someday I'm going to find that kid – Ascended or not – and everything holy better have mercy on him when I do. Pay attention to what I am about to say, Daniel, because I mean it and you better know it. You will _not_ become a mass murdering megalomaniac just because you now have the power to save yourself, your family and the world. You love all of us too much for that. You've come close to losing us all too many times."

"No," he said, breathlessly, staring into her eyes and desperately needing to believe it and Jillian wasn't sure when the tables had turned so abruptly. She had come in here desperately needing to believe _him_.

"Then get out of this chair, Daniel," she said, tightly. "Get up and screw the chain of command and save your world, before you no longer have the power to do it."

"I don't know what will happen to me if I do. The IOA already wants to execute me."

"Jack won't let that happen."

Daniel's head dipped and his eyes narrowed. "_I_ won't let that happen."

A shiver spider-crawled down her spine.

"Will you still love me after all this?" He asked. She heard the determination in his voice tinged with the longing. He was going to act. Jillian had no idea when and suspected that it would be just as soon as Merlin figured out a way around the Prior device. But it was going to happen.

"With all my heart and soul," Jillian answered, "No matter what happens, you'll have your family. Forever."

(0)


	301. Chapter 301

After the credits of The Shroud:

"So," Jack said conversationally, "You want to try telling me you're 'fine' or do you need me to pull something?"

It was an odd combination of their old shorthand and current understanding. They were alone briefly, with the medics off bothering other patients and SG-1 talking amongst themselves across the room.

"Pull something," Daniel answered quietly.

"What do you need?

Daniel waved a hand in a general gesture, not something left over from his brush with having super powers. "I need time away from all this. I need fresh air. I need my wife and my son."

Jack thought about it for a moment. It would take a massive effort on his part. The IOA was going to want him under heavy surveillance until they were completely sure he was really Daniel Jackson again. But if that was what Daniel needed at the moment….

"Done," Jack said, simply.

Thirty-six hours later he had Daniel in a secluded safe house somewhere in Montana. They beamed in, with several days' worth of groceries and supplies and a duffel bag full of civilian clothes. Daniel dropped the duffel, walked over to the couch, and sank onto it. He took his glasses off with both hands and put them on the side table. Rubbing his eyes he said, formally, "Thank you, and I'm sorry."

Jack pondered that for a moment and then said, "For what? The massive two-month pain in the ass of that entire incident, or for the relatively minor hassle of coordinating this?"

Daniel hesitated briefly. "Both I guess, but mostly for this. Where is Jillian?"

"On her way. We flew her into Bozeman and there's a car bringing her up. You've both got encoded cell phones if you need a quick beam-out."

"Who's driving her?"

"Sam. She flew her to Bozeman too. I gave her the plane."

Daniel nodded, satisfied. They had stopped subjecting JD to Asgard beams and starships and the SGC base months ago, when his vocabulary expanded and awareness of his surroundings increased seemingly overnight. Daniel trusted Sam to get them there safely. Besides, JD needed more stuff than two SGC teams needed for an extended stay off-world.

"We'll leave you the car," Jack went on. He had started checking the windows and looking in closets.

"What are you doing?" Daniel asked, putting his glasses back on and squinting. "It's a safe house isn't it?"

"Habit," Jack shrugged. He turned around and considered the hunched, miserable figure of Daniel Jackson. "You want to help me put some of the groceries away while we wait for them?"

"Yeah," Daniel said, rising.

They walked into the kitchen carrying bags that they put on the table. Daniel looked exhausted. There was a two-star general in Jack's head who was anxious to get this fixed because six more Prior-commanded invincible starships had come through the Stargate they had opened. He needed Daniel on his feet. The debriefing had already been brutal. The hours he had spent interrogating Daniel and watching him being interrogated had almost killed him, and heaven alone knew what those hours had done to Daniel.

To Daniel's credit he hadn't lost his temper, at least not in a way that anyone who didn't know him well would notice. Jack – who knew Daniel very well – had seen the glazed eyes, the tension in his muscles even when he appeared to be relaxed. That look would have terrified anyone who really knew Daniel. The Chinese and French representatives of the IOA had forged ahead in their questioning, blessedly unaware of the danger they were in. When Daniel felt powerless - against a group of supposedly Enlightened Beings, against the IOA, against all odds - he lashed out with ice cold and razor sharp intellect. Daniel never acted like the smartest guy in the room unless he was frigidly angry.

This had wrecked Daniel in ways Jack couldn't begin to calculate. It had wrung Jack emotionally too - seeing Daniel come back foreign and mutilated, believing in his heart that it was Daniel and knowing he couldn't afford to trust that belief, the pressure of the decision about the Gate, the weight of the consequences. To say nothing of the last twenty-four hours. The interrogations had been for the cameras, for the intrusive, listening ears of the IOA. They were not the frank and honest conversations that he could have with Daniel after a decade of friendship. They weren't even close, and they needed to have one of those conversations now, before Daniel was reunited with his wife and son. Jack was halfway to picking up the phone and extending Daniel's leave indefinitely.

Jack was trying to feel his way into what would help, not make it worse, because he couldn't stand seeing Daniel in this much pain. Jack couldn't stand the helplessness he knew Daniel felt in the face of such profound stress.

He shouldn't have worried about how to start the conversation. Talking had always been Daniel's job.

"When it was you," Daniel said slowly, "both times you…when you…"

"Stuck my head in those Ancient head-suckers?"

Daniel made a wry face and shook his head in irritation. "Yes. That. The stuff in your head did what we needed it to do, things that were useful: gave us new gate addresses, fixed the DHD, dialed the Asgard, told us where Taonas was, rigged the ship to go faster, got the charged ZPM, took us to the weapons outpost, put you in the stasis pod."

"You needed yours to build an Ancient weapon to destroy Ascended beings, and it did."

"I know," Daniel said, but his voice was so uncertain Jack knew he didn't mean it. Jack knew, after all this time, all the notes Daniel's voice could hit. He even heard the notes in the silences.

Daniel seemed to shrug it off, shooting Jack a look that said he was sorry for bringing it up. "I believed I was doing the right thing. But I've believed that before and been wrong. When I brought up that thing with Ba—that thing you said we were never going to talk about again ever, I was trying to tell you that. I needed you to tell me that I could be trusted."

"I did, Daniel, "Jack said tightly. "I gave the order to open the Gate, or did you forget?"

"No, I didn't forget; and I am grateful for that," Daniel insisted.

Jack's eyebrows went up to his hairline. "Big of you," he said in his most pissed-off tone of voice. "You might want to take into consideration that I'm about to leave you with Jillian and JD. I wouldn't do that if I wasn't damned sure it was you standing here."

"I know!" Daniel answered.

"Look, Daniel," Jack said, losing patience. "You don't turn into a monster when you have too much power, no more than I do." At Daniel's shocked expression, he went on ruthlessly, "Yeah, your wife told me about that. Don't get mad at her. She loves you and she needed to talk about it. So you didn't stop Ba'al the way I wanted you to and you didn't talk me into joining you as a glow bug. You did what you could. You came to me and you tried to do what you thought would work within the rules and given what you knew at the time. That time, you made it so the whole team could work and I could get myself out without Oma getting pissy about it. You didn't do all this on your own. Not this time. I gave the order to open the Gate. Your team made it happen. You scared the crap out of Woolsey, but you didn't hurt him. Dammit, the man had threatened to kill you and then freeze you. He upset your wife. I get that you were pissed at him, and I kind of admire your restraint given the circumstances. You knocked out a couple of SFs without so much as giving them a minor bruise. You commandeered a ship and beamed a few people around. If that's as bad as you get, that's good."

"So it's just how I get when I'm convinced I'm right? When I'm willing to do anything, manipulate anyone, sacrifice anything, to get my own way?"

"How you get when you're trying to do the right thing and the powers that be won't let you," Jack answered.

Daniel looked annoyed and waved his hand in the air. "This time I was the power."

"And you used it, and you didn't turn into some kind of monster in the process."

"I used all of you to get what I wanted."

"To secure an objective," Jack corrected.

"Do we have to be all military?"

"Like it or not, it was a military operation."

"Fine! Then I used all of you to secure an objective."

"Well, for fuck's sake, Daniel, welcome to my world," Jack snapped. He scratched at his scalp in frustration. Even after all this time, the guy still didn't get it. Daniel was a seasoned veteran, quick-thinking and shrewd and resourceful, a force to be reckoned with, a hero - but he was not, by any stretch, no matter how he might present to the outside world, military. "Come on, Daniel! I've been using all of you since the first time we met! It's called 'deployment' and when push comes to shove, it's what leaders do. You had an objective, and when discussion and persuasion didn't get what you wanted, you took action. It's not what you're trained for. I gave the team to Sam and then I gave it to Mitchell and no one – not even you – suggested that you should be in charge, not once. It's not what you're good at, and frankly, Daniel, it's just not your job. So when you have to take command, you question every move you make. But not this time. This time you knew you were right because you actually were right."

Daniel paused in the act of loading fruit into the fridge, standing still and staring, unfocused, straight ahead. "How compromised am I?"

"You?" Jack blinked, startled. "You could never be irreparably compromised. We need you too much. The IOA knows that. They wanted a positive report on your condition and they got one."

Daniel made a derisive noise in his throat. "First they wanted to execute me and now they want me back at all costs?"

"Yep."

"Bastards."

"Tell me about it. You're irreplaceable and they know it. There's about two dozen SGC personnel the IOA knows they have no power over."

"Oh really? Dare I guess who they might be?"

"You, Carter, Teal'c, Sheppard." He hesitated and then sighed heavily. "McKay."

The corner of Daniel's mouth quirked up. It was less than Jack had been hoping for. He'd wanted a little bit of laughter. But there was less misery in Daniel's eyes and that was something.

Jack paused and leaned back against the counter, crossing his feet at the ankles, before saying, "Can I ask you something?"

"You spent hours asking me things, back on the ship," Daniel pointed out.

"Not this."

Daniel's whole body stilled, on alert, as if he had just heard something in the brush.

"How broken are you?" Jack asked.

"Why?" Daniel asked defensively, "Because I really should be more fucked-up than I appear to be?"

Jack growled at him, "Knock it off, Daniel! I'm not a shrink. I know you're really good at keeping a whole lot of shit inside, and I've been watching you get fucked up for a long time. This is way more than you've gone through before. You were a POW for eight weeks, playing head games with a mega-villain with super powers. What you've already told me is plenty. Half of what you've said is more than most people could handle."

"I'm fine Jack," Daniel said, turning back to the bags of groceries on the table.

"Bullshit, Daniel," Jack said, softly. He held off Daniel's protest with a raised hand. "I was in an Iraqi prison and I never told my wife what that was like. We lost our son and we still never talked about it."

"What are you saying, Jack?" Daniel asked quietly.

"Whatever it is you've got bottled up, whatever it is you don't want in any of the official reports, whatever you don't want to tell me or Sam or Teal'c, tell all of that to Jillian."

Daniel was refusing to make eye contact. "You know me, Jack. I love to talk," he said, sardonically.

"About everything and anything under the sun. But not about yourself; never that. And in this case it's just not a good idea."

"Do you tell Sam everything?" Daniel snapped.

"Yes!" The answer was ground out between Jack's teeth. "It's like hell sometimes, but Sam knows about Iraq and she knows a hell of a lot of other things I never told anyone else. We don't talk about–" he stopped and took a deep breath, "about Charlie, but something happened and she was there and she knows, so we don't have to."

Daniel's eyes were wide behind his glasses when Jack finally stopped talking. "Jeezus, Jack. I didn't mean–I…look, I'm sorry."

Jack sagged and then stood up straighter, waving him off. "Forget it. You've been doing this crap to me since we met. I start out trying to make it about you and the next thing I know I'm spilling my guts to you. You'd think I'd be used to it."

They stared at each other for a long silent moment and then they heard the sound of a car pulling up to the front of the cabin. Realization of who it must be hit them both.

"Is that my…?"

"Your family? Better be," Jack said.

He didn't have time to say anything else. Daniel had turned and was running for the door.

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	302. Chapter 302

Daniel was halfway to the black Escalade, running, barely breathing when Jillian bolted out the passenger door and ran straight into his arms. It was the first time they'd had a chance to hold each other without constraint, with no one around who cared, in a place where there was nothing stopping them from finally reuniting the way they needed. There was simply nothing in the universe like the embrace they shared, union after a torturous absence; like the way she hid her face in his shoulder and inhaled on a sob, the way they fit together and how she tried to crawl inside him as he curved around her.

"Jillian," he gasped and then repeated it over and over. It sounded like he couldn't stop, like it was totally out of his control. The world around him stopped and dissolved and then became nothing but Jillian. She had her arms wrapped around his neck, clinging as if she hadn't the strength to stand on her own. His Jillian, his wife, his mate, his partner in the long battles they had chosen to fight; heart-stoppingly, breath-takingly beautiful and warm and solid in his arms. Daniel felt the rush of certainty he had used to survive the last two months – the certainty that as long as he had Jillian there wasn't anything that could not be conquered. It was, at last, the end of missing her.

Jillian was laughing and wiping her eyes on his shirt. She'd been crying since the car pulled up, since before she had opened the door. She hadn't been able to even see him when she started running and was taken completely by surprise when he caught her and wrapped her up in his arms. Relief coursed through her like a pure spring rain. They kissed. Their mouths met, starving, two months swept away in the completion of a kiss. This was a kiss of reunion. Of forgiveness. Of coming home.

A sound broke through to both of them at the same time. It was JD, waking up in his car seat as Sam reached in to unbuckle him. He let out an unhappy wail first at being woken up and then at seeing Sam instead of his mother. Sam lifted him out, and JD reached for Jillian with both fists opening and closing rapidly, crying, "Mama!"

Daniel let go of Jillian and looked past her as if he was afraid. Every muscle in his body tensed in reaction to the sound of his son crying. "Oh my god," he whispered, "JD! Look how big he is."

At the sound of his father's voice, JD fell strangely silent for a moment. He stopped looking at Jillian, hovering in Sam's arms as she walked towards them, and then he shrieked, "Daddy!"

JD practically toppled out of Sam's grip and into Daniel's anxious, eager hold. Daniel had pictured this moment over and over; so many times he had worn a deep groove in his thoughts from replaying it so often. It was more than he had ever anticipated. For months, time had crawled and now all he wanted was to suspend this moment because it was rushing by too fast. He held his son tightly, firm but gentle, with tears burning behind his closed lids. JD burst into confused tears, slumped against Daniel.

"Shhhh," Daniel said. He could feel JD's all-too-precious heart beating fast. "It's okay. I'm here."

"Where did you go?" JD asked. His eyes were wide and confused, still shimmering with tears. His lower lip was trembling. The look got to Daniel every time. It was nearly as bad as when Jillian cried.

"Far away, Sonshine," Daniel admitted. "But I'm home now."

JD pushed back and put his hands on either side of Daniel's face. Solemnly he said, "You stay here now!"

"Yeah," Daniel smiled in a misty way. Jillian pressed up to him again and he put one arm around her waist. He kissed her hair and then he kissed JD's forehead. "Yeah," he said, "I'm staying."

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After handing JD off to Daniel, Sam stumbled to Jack, who caught her in his arms and gripped her so tight she almost couldn't breathe. He uttered a soft blasphemous curse under his breath and pushed his face into her hair. The utterance was laced with exhaustion and frustration, and it sounded as if he had been under enemy fire for days. He was shaking, and he fell immediately silent.

"Hey," she said, holding him up. When everything went to hell all around them, Jack was always the one who stood there unflinching. But Sam knew this mood. She had started seeing it after they had decided to jump off the cliff together and forge ahead with a relationship. But she knew what it was. She recognized the tension and the way he was drawing short even breaths through his gritted teeth. Her second doctorate was in 'Jack O'Neill', earned over a decade but mostly in the last two years. He only did this with her. She didn't think there was anyone else who saw this side of Jack. She pressed forward to absorb the vibrations in his body. Sometimes he managed to walk this off and sometimes he went on a long caustic rampage.

"Hey," she said, softly to stave off either reaction, "it's okay now."

Jack leaned into the warm solidity of her. Shaking, he said in a tone of utter disbelief, "Ya think?"

"Mmm-hmm. For sure. Everything is okay now." She had her arms around his waist now, leaning back and proving support.

"Six more ships came through the Gate." Jack started in a singsong voice.

"I know."

"The IOA is still in an uproar."

"True."

"Can't get rid of them, not in a wartime scenario of galactic proportions."

"Also true."

"Got a war with the Ori on one front and one with the Lucian Alliance on the other," Jack sped up the litany of problems a little, "Can't let Daniel rest for as long as I'd like; can't retire; can't have you move in with me to make that bearable. This is all okay?"

"We actually could do those last couple of things," Sam pointed out. "We're choosing not to and for good reasons."

"No reason that keeps me away from you like this is a good one."

"We need you in the Pentagon," Sam said, "Nothing proves it more than this did. You need me out there. There's a reason it has to be this way."

Jack squinted, looked down and gave her a good, hard, appraising once over. In spite of the way she was holding him up, her body was relaxed. Her smile was small but certain. "You really think everything is okay," he said, sounding blank.

"Yes," she said. "You want to know how I know?"

Jack lifted his eyebrows in question. Sam smiled a little more and tightened her hold. "Because you never lose it like this until everything is okay."

Jack blinked at her, tilted his head and blinked again as he realized it was just as true as it was stupid. "That's a terrible way to determine of Okay-ness."

"It's the most accurate one I have," she answered. She leaned up to kiss him, and he had the presence of mind to reciprocate. "What do you say we help unpack the SUV, wish them well, say goodbye and go have some serious alone time?"

"Alone time where?" He was holding her with care now, as if he had remembered that she was breakable.

"I got us a room in Bozeman," Sam said with a slow, suggestive smile. "No one is expecting us until late tomorrow."

Jack studied her for a moment. Sometimes it seemed like Sam was the only one who had ever understood all the many layers of him. The thought of a night with her was better than the thought of an eternity with anyone else.

"Let's unpack an SUV," he said, slinging an arm around her shoulders and heading for the car.

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	303. Chapter 303

Something short and explanatory. I also want to apologize to everyone reading this as it posts because I messed up the last two chapters by hitting the wrong doc when updating. I am pretty sure 137, 138 and now this one follow The Shroud thread for Moonlight and Steel. I should NOT post at night after school picture day. ;-)

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They had a brief but intense discussion about the Escalade. Jack had intended to leave it with Daniel and Jillian but now he and Sam were staying in Bozeman at least for the night. He had intended to beam himself and Sam back to the plane for the flight back to Colorado Springs. But she had changed that.

"Take the car,"Jillian insisted. "Sam and I talked about it on the way here. Leave us the Asgard beam remote. We'll be fine."

Jack had shot a long hard glance at Daniel and then back to Jillian. "Are you sure?"

"If I wasn't he wouldn't be holding my son,"Jillian answered.

Daniel returned Jack's look with a frosty one of his own. "You said you were satisfied that I'm me,"he reminded him. "You said the IOA was getting a positive report. You put me under a damned _za__'__tarc _device!"

"That wasn't my idea!" Jack snapped; "And don't do that!"

"Do _what?__"_Daniel demanded.

"That thing you do with your eyebrows when you think the person you're talking to is an idiot!"

"What _thing_?"

Jack gestured at Daniel. "_That _thing!"

JD made a sudden unhappy sound because the raised voices were making him fret.

"Hey!"Jillian said, because only a mother defending her child was brave enough to get between Jack and Daniel once they got started.

Daniel looked instantly contrite and reached to take JD. He settled JD on his hip, patting his back. "It's okay,"he said, soothingly, "Don't let Uncle Jack scare you when he gets grumpy."

"Daniel-"Jack said, warningly.

"Jack,"Jillian cut him off again. "It's fine! In any real emergency the Asgard beam is faster than driving back down that dirt road to Bozeman. Take the car. Eat out, go shopping, go to a movie. Have fun for a change."

Jack turned to Sam at that point and she looked hopefully back at him. "Sounds nice,"she said.

"Jett?" Jack asked.

"I already called Cameron. They're having a blast, going to a basketball game with Vala."Jack's eyebrows closed together at the thought of his son and Vala Mal Doran spending any length of time together. But Sam shook her head. "They'll be fine."

"I hear that word a lot lately,"Jack grumbled. But in the end he gave in by spitting out "_Fine.__"_

He said goodbye to Jillian with a kiss on her temple and a reminder to get the hell out if _anything_ seemed squirrely. She assured him she would. Sam hugged both Daniel and Jillian and then followed Jack out the door into the late autumn chill.

Jack reached out for the keys but Sam shook her head. "Nope. I'm driving,"she said.

"Why?"

"Because you are way more tired than I am, unless you're willing to tell me you'd actually relive the last four days without any hesitation."

"Oh hell no,"Jack admitted with a slow heartfelt shake of his head.

"Besides, it's an awesome car and I want to drive. It's not the Hummer you said you would get but it's still an awesome car, " Sam went on, possessively opening the driver side door and getting in. She had the car started by the time Jack had shrugged out of his jacket and was putting on the seatbelt.

"Are you this disrespectful of me all the time or is it just when we're off duty?"He asked in the same disgruntled voice he had been using.

It wasn't a serious question but Sam chose to sit back in the seat and consider it carefully. Then she turned and pinned him with _those_ eyes –the ones that men wrote poems about and went to war over. "I don't ever disrespect you. But I'm not above bullying you for your own good; and you're exhausted."

Jack didn't say anything. He just dropped his guard and let his gratitude and amusement show on his face. They had communicated this way for over decade. So Sam got it right away and smiled back.

While she drove back to Bozeman, Jack got out his phone and called Jett. Sam could hear his excited voice even before Jack put it on speaker.

"Hi, Dad!"

Jack had to swallow a moment because no matter that they had talked about it and no matter that he'd thought he was ready for it, having an eight-year-old boy call him 'Dad'was something that made a whole cavalcade of emotion rumble through his chest. "Hi,"he managed to say finally. "How is it going?

"Great! I'm going to a basketball game with Cam and Vala. When are you coming back?"

"Tomorrow, before dinner. We'll go up in the plane with Sam one more time and then head back East. How does that sound?"

"Wicked awesome!" Jett answered. "Is Sam there?"

Jack looked over at Sam and mouthed 'wicked awesome'with his eyebrows raised almost to his hairline. "Yeah, she's here."

"Hi, Sam!"

"Hi, Jett. Have fun tonight, okay?"

"I will!"

"Jett,"Jack said, "Put Mitchell on the phone."

They could hear the phone been passed from hand to hand and Jett saying, "It's Dad."Then Cameron said, "Yes, sir?"

"Take care of him."

"Wouldn't dream of doing anything else, sir,"Cam answered.

"And don't fill him up on a bunch of junk. You'll never get him to sleep if you do."

"Good advice, sir."

Jack had Mitchell give the phone back to Jett and they talked for a few more minutes before saying good night. Sam called good night as well and then Jack put the phone away.

"How much cash do you have with you?"Jack asked.

"Enough,"she said.

"How did you pay for the room?"

"Cash, but it's Jillian's treat."

"Jillian?"

"For everything you did for Daniel. I said I was thinking about it and the next thing I knew she was researching five star motels on her cell phone."

"Motels?"

Sam gave him a sideways glance. "No hallways, no security cameras; and yes we paid cash."

Jack's smile was slow and proud. "That's my girl,"he said, in a low sultry purr.

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	304. Chapter 304

**Mostly Jack and Sam but they talk about the events of the Shroud, so it belongs in Sunshine and Shadow too.**

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Their motel was an easy walk to the center of downtown Bozeman. Dressed in warm jackets they strolled, holding hands, passed the stores and tourists stops. They went to Target and bought some clothes to change into. Jack found a pair of jeans, boxers and a sweat shirt that would do. Sam made him buy new socks in spite of his insistence that he could just wash out the ones he was wearing in the sink. He didn't quite understand the way she was shaking her head and muttering under her breath while picking out a whole new package of them. When she appeared unable to decide which ones to get Jack wandered off to find sporting goods to look at the fishing gear. On the way there he found a pink sweatshirt that had said 'Montana, est.1889' on it, so he bought it for her as a kind of memento. She could think about their time together every time she wore it; even if she just kept it in a drawer, she'd be reminded when she saw it.

Sam liked it so much she changed into it in the car before driving to the restaurant. Jack made a concerted effort to keep his hands at his side and his eyes looking out the front window at the lightly falling snow.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked quietly.

"Trying not to stare," he answered, cautiously glancing sideways to see that she was almost finished, pulling it down to her jeans and adjusting the bottom.

"You kind of have permission to stare now, don't you?" She asked.

Jack appeared to consider that very carefully. He was a veteran of too many locker rooms and long extended stays in the field; not to mention the eternal ten years he had spent conditioning himself _not_ to stare at Carter which was now combined with his determination not to sexualize her just because he now got to have sex with her. Finally he said, "No. I can't assume that."

Sam blinked and then smiled at him. It was one of the more romantic things he had ever said. "Well tonight you have blanket permission."

"To stare?"

"Yes," Sam was starting to laugh a little.

"Okay," Jack answered, "Just be warned that it was your idea. Oh, and you should probably still keep me from driving."

They had asked around and were directed to the Montana Ale House for dinner, where they had steaks and beer and shot two games of pool that attracted a crowd.

It was either the way they were pretty evenly matched in skill; or the hot blond in the tight jeans and pink sweatshirt who was playing and explaining the physics of billiards at the same time. Jack stayed with her through the application of Newton's Second Law and her discussion of the angular velocity of the cue ball. But he got pleasantly lost when she invoked Hooke's Law and just made his shots and listened to the cadence of her voice bouncing around in his head. Most of the time he had to cut her off because she was worse than Daniel at wanting to explain every little detail of everything. But when they were in situations like this he could let her talk and be amazed by her all over again.

When they were tied at two games each, they called it a night. There was a room in the only four-star motel they could find in Bozeman waiting for them.

Jack was still hungry – which Sam didn't tell him was another one of the signs of okay-ness that she watched for. He didn't tend to eat when he was in the midst of decision-making and crisis. Once it was over he couldn't get enough. They got two large pizzas, a cold six pack and a two liter bottle of diet Coke and slipped into their room.

The room was huge, way more than they needed for just an overnight. But Jillian had insisted on getting them one with a fireplace. It wasn't the Broadmoor, but it was spotlessly clean, the bed was a king size with a thick quilt and extra pillows. There was a kitchenette and a big bathroom. The western paneling was kind of cheesy but Sam kind of liked it too.

Jack set the small table in the window with the pizza and found a glass and ice for Sam's Coke. They ate in silence for a little while but Sam knew the rant she had staved off was still inside him somewhere. He had vented some of it in his little sing-song litany of all the current problems. But he was going to get an ulcer if he didn't release the rest of it; and Sam suspected that a huge part of it was whatever he was blaming himself for.

"Were you ever uncertain that was Daniel?" She asked, quietly, "That it was Daniel all along?"

"No," Jack said, "If you're asking me whether or not I thought Daniel had been converted to Origin, the answer is no, never. The Merlin thing was what made me hesitate."

"He seemed to be able to control Merlin. He told Vala he had to let it happen when she told him to fight it, let Merlin take over. Merlin _spoke_ to us through him."

"And I could suddenly do base 8 math and speak in a language no one had ever heard!" He snapped.

It temporarily silenced Sam's questions. Jack drank from the bottle of stout, swallowed, took a bite of pizza, chewed. When he had washed it down with another healthy swallow of stout he said, "I think he could control it, more than I could the two times I had all that information downloaded into my head."

"This was different. He insists this was only Merlin."

"He also insists it was a real person's consciousness somehow. I'm saying it was a machine, a _program_ from a machine. Merlin died. What was in Daniel's head was just enough of a program to defeat the Ori."

Sam had stopped chewing on her tiny slice of pizza. He knew from the look on her face that her overheated brain was now in overdrive. He decided to give it some more road. "The two times I had my head in one of those things there was nothing human about them. They were programs with information. Daniel's just scored higher on the Turing Test."

She shot him an assessing look because the Turing Test was _not_ something she expected Jack to know about. Like a thousand other things that he knew and kept to himself.

"Vala said there was a bright light-" Sam began.

"There's a bright light when you take a picture," Jack said.

"But it was like Oma Desala's energy form on Kheb, like the way Shifu looked when he left. It was like Daniel when he…" Her voice trailed off.

"Ascended," Jack said, shortly, stiffly because no one liked to remember that day. After taking another drink he went on boldly, "Merlin died and left a corpse that in turn got left behind when the cave switched locations. Daniel didn't leave anything. His body transformed into Ascended energy. Merlin didn't ascend and enter the repository. He didn't Ascend into the head sucking thing. He used his powers to imprint information on its circuitry, but _he_ didn't go in there. He wasn't in there. He spoke to Daniel and then died. So _he_ wasn't in Daniel's head."

Her eyes were wide and very blue as she gazed at him. "How many times did you read our reports? You say all that as if you were there!"

Jack grunted. "Quite a few times. It makes great late night reading when you can't sleep."

"I'm not sure, Jack," Sam said, "Ordinarily I'd be the first one to lean towards a technological answer, even one I didn't understand. But a white light approached Daniel _after_ Merlin died. I think maybe it was a combination of both machine _and man._ But how would that be possible?" Sam was so serious Jack expected her to get out a pencil and start doing equations on the pizza box. It wouldn't be the first time. He was a little flattered that she honestly seemed to want an answer from him. The question wasn't rhetorical.

"So it had some kind of mockup of Merlin's personality in it. Maybe that's what he did just before he died – activated the program because only he could do it. It was the same damn piece of Ancient technology and it had exactly the same capabilities. Once Daniel let that thing grab him, he had no more choice about what happened to him than I did. So, yeah, the Merlin thing made me hesitant."

"You hate hesitating."

Jack grunted again. He did and there wasn't any sense in denying it. He hated the kind of power he had now because sometimes it made him conservative. "Yeah. I wasn't sure if I'd be releasing Daniel or whatever it was that was masquerading as Merlin. I had a pretty good idea what Daniel would do, but I don't trust the Ancients and I never will. They've got their own agenda. I suspect that Merlin chose Daniel knowing he had been Ascended and I suspect the program tried and failed to suppress Daniel because you know what a pain in the ass he can be when he wants something; and he wanted to destroy the Ori. The whole crew of the _Stromos_ couldn't destroy Daniel. A machine never had a chance."

"Did you try to tell Daniel this?" Sam asked.

"It's too metaphysical a distinction for Daniel," Jack said, which made Sam's eyebrows climb up into her forehead, not because Jack was wrong but because he had said it at all. Jack waved a dismissive hand. "It if acted like a person and talked to him like a person Daniel would treat it like a person; or something left over from his Ascension let Daniel hear and feel and sense things that I couldn't, even with the Ancient gene. Daniel's god damned empathy for anything and everything is a strength and a weakness. It's why he stayed in the fucking chair as long as he did."

Sam nodded. "Merlin had given him the power of telekinesis. I didn't understand why he just didn't use it to shut off the anti-Prior device. But you're saying Daniel was still in control at that point."

"And Daniel wanted to be deployed. Daniel doesn't want to take command, ever. He thinks he has to turn off all his emotions to make a command decision and when he's just him he does that without a second thought. He's been doing that since he blew a vat of baby snakes all to hell on Chulak. But this time was different. This time he was in possession of a whole lot of super powers and he needed someone to tell him to go for it and _that someone should have been me!"_

He went quiet after that. Instant shut down and Sam stopped moving right along with him. She had known they would get to the guilt eventually. That was the rant she had stopped earlier. This was thing that was still eating at Jack.

Jack sighed. "He shouldn't have been forced into acting on his own. That only made it worse."

"You can only make decisions based on the information you have," Sam said. "What if you had told him straight up that you were sure it was him, that you knew it was Daniel? I don't think he would have done one thing differently. He knew how tied your hands were by the IOA. You just got done saying that we know how he is when he wants something."

"What I am supposed to do is come to realizations like that when they count, not four days later," Jack growled. His hesitation and the interference from the IOA had forced Daniel to use his powers to take control, which had flipped Daniel's fear of turning into the power mongering monster of his visions. "I should have assessed him in less than five minutes and ordered him into the field with that weapon before the IOA had time to fuck that up, _before_ Adria got suspicious about her pet Prior's unexplained absence and ran back to her ship. If she's actually dead, maybe it was better the way it went down; taking her out was a plus that wasn't in the original plan. But the delay in interrogation and evaluation brought the mission way too close to failure; and that's on me."

"If you had acted against the wishes of the IOA-" Sam began.

Jack ground his voice back to a normal level with effort. "The mission objective would have been secured before anyone could have stopped us. I'd have accepted whatever shit hit the fan after that. It shouldn't have all hit Daniel."

"But it left you in a position to protect him and you did. The other way _both_ of you are under fire. You have to protect your rank and power first, Jack. I hated the idea of you going to DC and you know that. I hate how far away you are and what that does to _us_. But the minute they created the IOA we needed you right where you are. You're the only one who can stand between us and them."

Sam stood up and went around the table, forcing herself in his lap. She hardly ever sat in Jack's lap but she needed to touch. She wound her arms around his neck. "I'm sorry. I know you hate when I make it about you and how important you are. You want to make this about how you let Daniel down and I want to make sure you know that's not what happened. I love you and I know you're being tortured by not being able to command the way you used to. I know you miss the team. I know you miss me and I know you're pushing all that down to be what everyone else needs you to be."

Sam leaned forward and touched her lips to his. The charge that was always there at any contact between her skin and his flared up instantly. Sam felt something stir deep in the contact, an impulse to seize control, a tenuous thrill of desire, a flutter of relief because he was with her and she understood.

Jack tilted his head to look up at her. His expression softened and there was a hint of a smile in the curve of his mouth. He put his hand on the back of her head and scrunched her fingers into the soft tousled hair. Sam stroked down his chest and belly, up the inside of his arm, over his shoulder and collarbone. Her eyes followed the path of her hand. She wasn't stroking to arouse him, though it was sure as hell doing that. She was touching him to draw him out of himself because touching was the way Jack processed his world. She paused to lay her palm against the side of his rugged, handsome, tired face; thumbing the cheekbone.

"But I'm the only one who needs you right now," Sam said, kissing him again. Her hand dropped to hover over his groin. She kissed behind his ear and down his neck, feeling the movement under his jeans. She let her hand fall and lay still, feeling his response. "Take me to bed, Jack." His name turned into a low moan as Jack reached under her sweatshirt and caressed her breast, cupping, holding.

"Can I stare?" He asked, and she heard the breathless laughter in his voice now clearly.

"Yes," she said, in the same way, smiling as she kissed him. "You can do whatever you want."

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	305. Chapter 305

**Still tagging the Shroud. Daniel and Jillian reconnect as a family. There's a lot to talk about but first it's just light and fluffy.**

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After Jack and Sam had said their goodbyes and the sound of the Escalade had faded into the distance, Daniel and Jillian just stood staring at one another with Daniel still patting JD's back and swaying a little on his feet. To fill the silence Daniel said, weakly, "I made it back before the holidays."

Jillian's smile was one of the most benevolent things he had ever seen. "Thanksgiving is next week."

"But still…back. Right?"

"Yes. Jack wants us all at the cabin but Sam talked him into having it at the condo."

"Sounds wonderful," Daniel said, and then he just stared at her, remembering when all he had been able to do was dream deeply of her and now she was here, staring back at him and they were alone. "I missed you so desperately," he blurted out. "I need to talk to you but-"

"Not in front of the baby," Jillian said quickly, because it wasn't a good kind of 'need to talk', not when he said it in that tone of voice. "Let's just have a normal night in, dinner and then we'll put JD to bed. Then we can talk."

At the sound of his name, JD looked at Jillian. When she didn't direct anything at him, JD looked back at Daniel in confusion.

"Okay," Daniel said, "That's sounds okay, doesn't it, JD?"

The baby nodded and said, "Yeah."

They sorted through JD's things and moved them into the smaller bedroom where Jack had somehow, miraculously, arranged for a crib. Daniel checked it for safety, and they put JD's sheets on it and his blue blanket with his entire name embroidered across the bottom. Then Daniel took JD out into the living room and poured out a bucket of wooden blocks. He had once watched Jack sitting on the floor doing this with an eighteen-month-old Jett. He had never thought he'd be doing the same thing with his own son. Every once in a while as Adria's prisoner he'd thought he'd never be doing anything with JD ever again.

Jillian had vanished into the kitchen, and soon he caught the unmistakable scent of coffee brewing. Jillian came back into the room a moment later eating a banana. She sat down on the floor beside him and broke off a bite of the fruit when JD toddled over to her with his hand out.

"Banana please," she said.

"Banana peese," JD answered, smiling and shoving it all in his mouth when he got it.

"Whoa, slow down, Sonshine," Daniel said. He dared looking up at Jillian, because he was still not sure how to be alone with her. "We brought frozen ravioli and marinara sauce, stuff to make spinach salad. Oh, and there's a couple different kinds of tea-and ice cream! I didn't forget the ice cream."

"Daniel," Jillian said softly, "relax. I love you. I missed you so much. I really just want to sit here and do nothing but watch you build a tower with JD. Okay? Watching the two of you together was something I dreamed about. I just want to savor this."

"You're not angry? I did wind up with my head in one of those…those...you know."

"So I should be angry about being right? I read the reports. It doesn't sound like you had much choice. You were captured saving the lives of your team. I don't expect less than that from you. You should know that Vala was pretty frantic and probably wants to talk to you."

"Vala?"

"Yeah," Jillian reached over to pull JD's backpack into her lap, reached into a side flap and got out a travel container of wet wipes. Getting one out she snagged JD into her lap and wiped smashed banana off his face and hands. JD wrinkled his nose and tried to swat her away, protesting loudly because he was much more interested in his block tower than in being clean.

"Mitchell, too," Jillian continued as she let him go. "The veteran members of your team were pretty calm about the whole thing. But Cam and Vala were, well, mostly blaming themselves. Cam because he's the team leader, and he's supposed to get you all home safe; and Vala because she still feels somehow that she should be able to control Adria. We had to keep assuring her that Adria wouldn't hurt you."

Daniel looked away, helping JD add a row to his block pyramid.

"Like this?" JD asked. He had a block in his hand and was putting it next to the one Daniel had placed.

"Uh-huh," Daniel nodded encouragingly. The pyramid was almost as tall as JD and his green eyes were wide with wonder about that. Daniel gave him another block and JD paused to point to the picture carved into its surface.

"Cat," Daniel told him. "Gato en Español."

"Cat," JD repeated, and then he showed Jillian. "Cat."

"Yes," she assured him, smiling and fighting the tears in her eyes at the same time. She got a tissue out of the backpack as JD added his cat block to the pyramid.

"JD," Daniel said, drawing his son's attention again, "como se dice cat en Español?"

JD gazed back at Daniel with the eyes that were so much like his mother's and processed the question for a moment. Then he looked at his mother, who was no help at all. "Decirle," she encouraged. "Lo que es?"

"Gato!" JD said, triumphantly and fell into Daniel's arms laughing.

Daniel told him yes and praised him in Spanish. Jillian reached for another tissue because she was openly crying.

"Are you sure you're all right?" Daniel asked, staring at her anxiously.

"I'm fine. I'm just so relieved you're here." She sniffed and dried her eyes and took a deep breath.

She was prevented from having to say anything else when JD misplaced a block and most of the pyramid fell down. Daniel laughed and said, "Uh-oh!" JD looked puzzled for a moment and then shouted with laughter and knocked the rest of it down. The next thing Jillian knew father and son were wrestling all over the floor.

Jillian watched them with an ache of love in her soul so great it blocked all attempts at expression.

When they paused for breath with JD sitting on Daniel's chest and Daniel pretending to be completely defeated, she got up, kissed them both and said, "I'll go start the ravioli."

"I'll help," Daniel said, instantly.

"No, stay here and play with him. He's asked for you almost every day. He needs this more than he needs two people standing over a pot of ravioli."

"So I can make the salad and he can help," Daniel said, rolling over. He stood, picking up JD at the same time and settling him on his hip, "What do you think, Sonshine? Want to tear up spinach leaves?" JD nodded eagerly, clinging to Daniel's shirt. "Besides," Daniel went on, "you made coffee and I'd really love some."

"Fine," Jillian said. "Grab his little seat that goes on the table?"

Daniel looked around at the mass of equipment that had come out of the SUV until he found the travel chair. He transferred JD to his shoulders, wincing a little when his son's chubby fists grabbed his hair. Then he scooped the chair up in one hand – listening with joy to JD's bubble of laughter at the dip and rise and wincing again because his hair was being used as leverage – and followed Jillian into the kitchen.

"Oh, and Daniel?" Jillian said.

"Yeah?"

"Since it was your idea to bring marinara sauce for our first meal together as a family in months, you get to give JD his bath tonight."

Daniel had a sudden sharp memory of eating with JD flash through his mind. "Oh, man," he groaned while Jillian laughed.

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	306. Chapter 306

Two hours later Daniel carried his freshly bathed, swaddled and ready-for-bed son to the living room and poured him into his mother's arms. He looked exhausted. JD looked happy and rosy and smelled delicious.

Daniel gestured vaguely in the direction of the bathroom. "I need to go clean up the bathroom,"he said, turning to head back the way he had come.

"He looks great,"Jillian called after him.

"It was in his ears!"Daniel called back, as if he was stunned. "It was on his _toes_."

Jillian laughed softly, rubbed noses with her sweet-smelling son and then went to get him some books. She had finished the third one when Daniel came back. JD was starting to doze a little bit.

"You want me to try to get him to sleep?"Daniel asked.

"I think he's going to want you to,"Jillian said, standing up and handing him over.

JD rubbed his eyes with a small fist and said in a small sleepy voice, "Daddy I need Dray Bear."

Daniel gave Jillian a slightly horrified look. "Please tell me you didn't forget Gray Bear."

"Good lord no. Not after that one time,"Jillian answered. She dug through a duffel bag until she found a much-loved fuzzy gray teddy bear. JD reached for it eagerly and cuddled into it, yawning.

Jillian kissed him and ruffled his hair before smoothing it down. "Goodnight, Sonshine."

In the end Daniel had to lie down on the floor and curl up around JD because his son had a mild freak out every time Daniel tried to leave the room–jumping up and down clinging to the crib railing and crying. It was part sleeping in a strange crib in a strange room and part fear of Daniel going away again. So Daniel stayed, holding onto him and rubbing small circles into his back until JD finally fell into a deep, contented sleep. Daniel lifted him as if he was made of spun glass, laid him in the crib and covered both JD and his bear with a blanket. He stood there leaning on the crib rail for a moment, just looking, stunned all over again by the little perfect person; the incarnation of his relationship with his wife, the living fusion of the two of them.

He finally slipped out of the room, leaving the door open a crack and the light on inside the room. Jillian was sitting on the couch with her legs curled up and her Nook open. Daniel crawled across the couch carefully and lay down with his head in her lap. After a moment of hesitant waiting –as if he might wake up from a wonderful dream if he so much as exhaled –Daniel relaxed. Jillian put her hand on his head and starting ruffling his hair. She turned off the Nook and sat it on the table next to them. Then she lifted his glasses off and put them beside it. Daniel sighed, rubbed up and down the sides of his nose and then lay still again.

"You still want to talk?"She asked.

"I _need_ to talk to you,"Daniel said, with his eyes closed, feeling the wonder of her hand in his hair. "I think I've talked to everyone else but you." He rolled over onto his back and looked up at her. "But it's been so long. I need to touch you. I need to _remember_ you."

Jillian gazed down into his eyes and said nothing for a long time; waiting, letting him recover from his exhaustion as much as he could. As tired as he was, he wouldn't sleep and she knew it; not with so much unsaid.

"I didn't sleep with her,"he said, finally, in a rush, like pulling off a Band-Aid.

Very, very calmly Jillian replied, "It never occurred to me that you did."

Daniel was silent again for a moment. Then he reiterated, "I didn't."

"I believed you the first time."Jillian's hand stilled for a moment, resting on his head. Daniel shuddered and turned into it, eyes squeezed tight, lifting his head to feel the way her fingers started to brush his bangs back ever so gently. Her other hand found his and laced their fingers together. In the same cautious tone she went on, "Unless this is semantics with you, using words to say what you want them to say. Is this your way of telling me that you didn't sleep with Adria but Merlin did?"

"No,"Daniel said, quickly, "No. I never let it get that far. Merlin wanted to. He thought that seducing her was very important to the success of our plan. I had to keep my guard up all the time around her. Sometimes, I think the edges got blurred; when it was Merlin and when it was me got blurred. It was hard in the beginning. Merlin got used to me letting him do pretty much whatever he wanted."Daniel turned his head to look up at her again. "Then when we were with Adria and he saw how attracted to me she is, he wanted to use that to our advantage and I agreed up to a point. It's odd. She's like a small child – a really evil small child but one nonetheless. There's so much she's still innocent about. She made shy little overtures. She was hesitant, uncertain about everything to do with human sexuality. Sex is a very human thing and she's very inexperienced at being human."

"She was 'grown'too quickly,"Jillian said. "She's still only a little girl. You'd never take advantage of that."

"Jillian, I advocated killing her with she was a little girl,"Daniel reminded her."I honestly didn't have any qualms at all with Merlin flirting with her. As far as I was concerned he could do almost anything he wanted to keep her head spinning. He just couldn't have sex with her; at least not with _my_ body and that was his only option."

Jillian stayed still, except for the calm stroking of her hand across his forehead and into his hair. Her expression was also calm, warm, accepting. Inside she was trying not to rail against the way another wretched group of Ancients had managed to screw with Daniel's head.

"There was no tactical advantage to fanning her crush into something more as far as I was concerned, but Merlin disagreed,"Daniel went on, "She's very beautiful but I could barely stand the sight of her. I tried to talk to her. I tried to find the part of her that might be from her mother. I really did try to reach her; for Vala's sake if nothing else."

Jillian thought back to all the people Daniel had persuaded to his point of view; all the enemies who had become friends and allies. "I know you did."

"And I couldn't flirt with her. So I let Merlin do that. I _let_ him, Jillian. Do you understand that?"

Jillian took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I understand that you were trying to work in partnership with a fellow prisoner, who also happened to be sharing your body. If you hadn't let him, Daniel, if he had just taken over, it would have been tantamount to rape. So I'm glad you let him have at least that much control."

He focused on her at that point, stared up at her as if he desperately needed to believe her.

"Do you need to tell me what he did?"She asked.

Daniel hesitated and then sighed. "He…led her on, kissed her a few times, made it appear like he was responding to her. It was just enough flirting to cloud her judgment and keep her off balance. Being turned into a Prior was an absolutely essential part of the plan, especially when we discovered she was very enamored of the idea that I had once been Ascended. Believe it or not, it's something she aspires to. She's convinced of the superiority and truth of the Book of Origin, but she has a hero worshipping thing going with me because of the Ascension. We never told her about the Merlin part of this so she thought it was always me; that all the powers, all the knowledge was me."

"She has powers of her own,"Jillian said, confused.

"But she was born with them. In her mind I was a normal human who Ascended and retained those powers. I had done something she had not and desperately aspires to. Then there's the whole thing where she wants Vala's approval and her worship. So somehow she thought that by converting me she could convert Vala, and it made her even more willing to accept that I was now a true believer."Daniel paused for a breath because he was starting to talk too fast and he wanted to take his time. Slowly he continued, "She has a whole host of issues, Jillian. I'm not sure there are enough psychologists in the world to analyze her."He paused, thinking. The fingers entwined with hers tightened. His eyes focused on her again with arresting clarity –the clear blue that could still startle her even after all this time. "Merlin was much better at lying to her than I was. We had to delay the completion of the weapon and get her to trust us. In her mixed up Ori/human mind being turned into a Prior is the highest honor she can bestow. Merlin convinced her about the conversion. I couldn't have pulled it off."

"But you never slept with her," Jillian said, "and neither did Merlin."

"No! I wouldn't allow that. I'd never do that to you."

"_You_ wouldn't have been doing it,"she pointed out.

"No, but it _was_ physical. There was touching. I told you that. Kissing. I didn't want that part but he convinced me it was important; or maybe I let him convince me. I can't say it wasn't useful or successful. It got her emotionally invested in me. We needed that. It made her let me go."

"How?"

"It delayed the completion of the weapon, but she wanted more followers; or at least she told us that. Merlin thought she just wanted more time with me and it made the other Priors accept me. Tactically it was all we could have hoped for. But I hated it, Jill. I knew when he was touching her. But I disconnected from it. I knew it but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't experience it. But I still knew he was using this body to touch someone who wasn't you and I hated it. So I hid from it."

"The way you did with the people from the _Stromos_?"Jillian asked.

Daniel blinked and took a moment to process it. "I guess. I didn't think of it that way, but maybe. All I know is that I didn't _want_ to touch her. I didn't even want to be in the same room with her. So if I had a way to block those feelings, I would have used it. All I wanted was to be home. All I wanted was to be with you."

Daniel sat up suddenly and flung his arms around her, pushing her against the back of the couch, crushing her against his chest. "_Jillian.__"_

It was choked out of him. She held him, stroked her hands down the strong column of his back. The muscled density of his body pressing down on hers made her go completely still inside. "It's okay. It's really okay,"she said, because she was beginning to understand that Daniel thought everything that had happened, every kiss, every flirtation, everything Merlin had done while inhabiting Daniel's body had somehow violated what belonged intimately and exclusively to the two of them.

Daniel ground his words down to fragments, "You. Don't. Under. Stand –

"Yes, I do. This doesn't touch us, Daniel. It never could. What we have, what we _are_ together is too strong."

The hope in his eyes was almost painful to see. Jillian leaned in and kissed him, hard, asserting more control and demand than she usually did. Surprise briefly made Daniel go tense. But then he gasped a sound that might have been her name and relaxed into a mixture of profound relief, blissful acceptance, and quivering expectation. Jillian pushed against him, brought a hand up not just to cup his jaw but to hold it as they kissed, tongues working with something like obsession.

"Daniel,"she said, breathlessly, a hushed whisper, "I want you."She pushed him back, switched their positions so that he was sitting with his back against the couch. She straddled him, bending forward to kiss his throat, warm breath against his skin. She dragged his sweat shirt up and pulled it over his head. Then she was kissing him again as her hands roamed over smooth, beloved muscle, touching him just to touch him, because it had been so long. Too long.

Daniel ran his hands up her waist to cup her breasts under her sweater as she moved on him, kissing and licking and sucking her way down his chest and back up. She shivered under the touch and said, "_Daniel._"

His breath caught. She'd said his name many times in the last seven years but not like that. The last time he'd heard it in just that way, in just that tone of voice was the first time they'd made love. The raw need in it was genuine.

She straightened up to kiss him again and Daniel went still, stunned with the sweet, hot wonder of it. Something inside of him shook hard, stalled. His heart started hammering.

He leaned back to make hard, anguished eye contact. There was something like blind panic in his eyes. Jillian understood now how hard Daniel had fought to keep what Merlin had done at a distance, to disconnect and have no part of it. He was trying now to unclench that determined fist. Jillian took his face between her hands.

"It's us, Daniel,"she said, "It's _you_. You and me."

"Oh god, Jill", Daniel pressed his forehead to hers, eyes tight shut, shaking."I want you, baby. I've been …been suppressing this for so long. I didn't want…I tried not to….But now…And you…. I want you so much. I forgot that wanting you this much was _even_ possible."His eyes opened, gazing at her and before she could react the panic faded in tear-stained relief. "It's you. It's really you. Oh _god,_ Jillian. I missed you so much."

Jillian brought Daniel's head to down to hold him tight against her breast. She stroked his hair and whispered over and over, "I'm here. You're safe. It's done. You're home, baby. You're home,"until she thought maybe he was starting to believe it, until she felt a hungry answering surge of desire in his body that made her start to think that the words had finally seeped into his muscle and bone.

He made a sound that was an attempt to say her name and then groaned, breathed hard and managed to say, "Are you sure?"

Jillian smiled softly and gently disengaged from him. Holding his hand she stood up. Pulling him up, she said, "I'm sure. Come to bed and I'll prove it to you."

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	307. Chapter 307

Daniel was used to the way Jillian greeted him after very long and uncertain absences. It was a flash fire of heat and intensity. It was reunited love made up of lightning strikes and scorched air.

Their immediate union had been postponed and tamped down by the fact that they had a child now. Daniel had not failed to see the sparks of gold flame flickering in Jillian's green eyes; for all that she was being patient with him. Her self-control was immaculate.

It had also been partially postponed by Daniel's determination and desire to take care of JD and spend as much time as possible with him. Jillian had been virtually a single parent for two months. He wanted to make up to her for that in any way he could. Besides, there had been long empty nights while in Adria's custody in which he had lain awake wishing for something as mundane as washing marinara sauce out from between his son's tiny toes.

His basic exhaustion after the whole ordeal had been another reason. But he was disturbed to find that some of the postponement was due to his own disconnection from his body and the part it played in his relationship with his wife.

Merlin was gone. He knew Merlin was gone. But Merlin had used him to touch and be touched by someone who made Daniel's skin crawl. He needed to rectify that.

If the past was any indication, Jillian would want – she would _need_ – something hard and fast and sudden; and that had always been fine with Daniel because their sex life was almost always about what Jillian wanted or needed. All he ever really wanted or needed was to be touching her. After any long absence he was out of his mind with desire, as ready as she was as soon as he knew she was willing and eager.

He wanted her with his mind and his soul. His body was slowly catching up to the idea that it wouldn't be denied this time; that this was Jillian. This was _home._ He could do whatever it took and then they could settle down to the intimate, slow reconnecting that he needed.

He should have known that Jillian would be two steps ahead of him in this particular area. He often neglected his own needs- forgetting to eat, forgoing sleep. As Jack had pointed out Daniel was very good about talking when it involved other things. He was however, awful about talking when it came to himself and his own needs.

Jillian knew him better than he knew himself.

The moment the bedroom door was shut she put her arms around his neck and said, "What do you need?" Her words were soft and sexy, but undemanding. Her lips were wondering over whatever bare skin she could find, along his collar bone, licking and suckling the skin on his throat. She was trembling in his arms, shaking now with hunger. He knew this side of her. He knew what she wanted. But she was holding back until she knew what _he_ needed.

Daniel caught a groan rising up in his throat. His body stirred in reaction, in remembrance. In other times they would have left a breadcrumb trail of clothing between the living room and the bedroom, clinging and kissing as they shed as much as they could. JD wouldn't be two for another four months but they were careful around him anyway. He was very aware and likely to say anything at any time. So this time when they made it to the bedroom, they were still almost fully clothed

Daniel didn't answer her right away. He reached for the bottom of her sweatshirt and she let go of him long enough to help him, lifting her arms. Their mouths eagerly sought each other again before the shirt hit the floor. His fingers trailed down her back, teased between her shoulder blades because he knew that was a sweet spot for her.

By the time her bra joined her shirt on the floor she was breathless. "Daniel," she groaned, "I missed you. I needed you so much. I, _oh, _god… " She broke off on a sob when he crushed her against his chest and ran one hand up her side to trace the side of her breast with his thumb, cupping as much of it as he could with his palm.

He took control of her again, working his kiss slow and deep into her mouth. "I want you," he said, "I want you to touch me, to remind me how you touch me, how you _know_ me. I want to make love to you. Can we do that?"

Her answering smile was full of adoration. "Of course we can do that. That's easy."

It was so calm, so reassuring. Her eyes held a wicked sparkle – one he had not seen in months except in dreams. Daniel's heart tripped, stuttered and then began hammering in his chest.

He knew perfectly well that he was going to have to deal with Jillian's passionate response to him first, before they got anywhere else. Her fingers were working his belt loose with frantic familiarity, getting his jeans opened so that she could hook into a double set of waistbands and push everything down over his hips.

Daniel let go of her just enough to toe out of his shoes and help her, stepping out of the puddle of clothing and kicking them aside. For a suspended moment they both just stood with Jillian gazing at him in passionate veneration. His genitals hung heavy between his muscular thighs, softly shadowed by hair. Jillian put her palm against his chest and ran it firmly down, over his abs and over the sensitive spot below his navel, until she was lightly cupping as much as she could get in her hand. Blood surged, skin rippled and stretched in response. Jillian stopped moving, letting it happen, feeling the movement and being captivated by it.

Daniel curled over a little, holding her in both arms with his legs braced and his hips canted away so that she was free to touch. Her hair brushed his face and he hid in it for a moment – soft and Jillian-scented – inhaling deeply, kissing the shell of her ear. She took him firmly in her hand and pushed, dragging his foreskin down, pausing a moment to thumb over the now exposed head before pulling it back up again. She repeated the motion – once, twice….. By the sixth time he was shaking. By the seventh she had very little extra skin to work with. He was fully erect but she was continuing – relentless, ruthless. Her thumb was rubbing deep circles into a spot that was making his ears ring and his breathing come short and harsh.

The slow torture was his own fault. He had asked her to remind him how well she knew him and she knew him very well.

"I love you," she murmured, kissing a line of fire across his chest and shoulder, "I love you so much. I missed you so much."

She gave him one long slow tug and let go. Daniel almost staggered forward, stunned by the loss. He opened his eyes, looking for her almost frantically. Relief suffused his expression when he found her, standing just in front of him and shedding her sweatpants and everything underneath.

Transfixed, Daniel reached out for her and ran his fingers down the peach-soft skin of her arm.

"I thought I was dreaming," he said, low and husky. "I thought I was going to open my eyes and you'd be gone."

"I'm right here," she stepped up close again, lifted up on tiptoe and kissed him in a way that was so gentle and chaste it belied the fact that they were both on fire. "Take me to bed, Daniel."

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	308. Chapter 308

Daniel picked her up and carried her to the bed, kissing her all the way there in a long, slow, deep way that implied they really had nothing better to do. He laid her down tenderly, kneeling and then lying down beside her. It took eager seconds to shed what little clothes remained. They kicked quilts and sheets out of the way in a restless hurry, falling together in a long-anticipated tangle of arms and legs and skin. It was thoughtless contact, automatic, fitting together because they knew how from long practice. The entire way to the bed Jillian had never stopped looking him in the eye every chance she got, and he had never stopped looking straight back. It said everything about the two of them together.

Daniel groaned with relief, pushed forward. Jillian wrapped around him and it felt like home. Then they were touching, running hands over faces and shoulders and legs as if they had to find the shape of each other again.

"Daniel," she gasped. "Daniel, oh god."

She was wildly turned on suddenly and he recognized it. It was the passionate response he had been watching for. She took his hand and pushed it down, opening for him as she did. He explored carefully, because if she wasn't as physically ready as he thought it would hurt.

But she was slick and hot, trembling urgently with need. The moment he touched her she arched up, whimpering. He found the spot by memory and instinct and rubbed until she was crying and gasping. Then foreplay turned to insistence and her body shook in response.

Jillian turned her face into his neck, gripped his shoulders and sobbed his name. She climaxed like an eruption, fisting the sheets on either side of her, arching up against him with her head thrown back. She twisted violently, fierce and feral, trying to shake him off because the sensation was too overwhelming. Daniel complied, gathering her up close and locking one leg over hers as she curled up and rode it out, sobbing and panting. There were sounds that might have been his name. Something wet stained his bare chest and he realized that she was crying, eyes misted with tears.

It took a long time for the spasms of pleasure to subside. She was breathing in short, shocked gasps, still curled up tight, her fingers digging into his bicep. After a while she drew in a long shaky breath and let it out as a shuddering moan.

Daniel knew better than to let her surface completely. He switched around so that he was behind her, lying on his side. He gently lifted one of her long, beautiful legs and slid his cock as far into her as he possibly could.

The feeling was stunning. With one arm he held her tightly against his chest. The hand cupped and teased her breast. The other hand rested lightly on her hip. He leaned forward just enough to watch her face, anxious for any sign of discomfort, the slightest wince that told him he had moved to fast or in the wrong way. But all he saw was a kind of startled wonder. All he felt was an effortless glide. Jillian responded with a ripple of astonishment that traveled the length of her body. Her eyes were still closed but the tiny "oh" that she murmured was filled with ecstasy. She put her hand over the one he had on her hip and clasped it tightly.

"Stay there," she whispered suddenly. Her voice was floating, faraway and lost in that place where they were one entity, body and soul. "Don't move."

The muscles in his arms flexed as they came around her, his hands splayed for a moment and then began drifting aimlessly. It defied her request to him not to move, but if he was going to obey it at all he needed to do something else. Jillian sighed and relaxed onto him; her head lolled back into the hollow of his shoulder. She was blissfully content now, surrendered to him and feeling nothing else but him – Daniel – in all the places and in all the ways that only Daniel ever had. His pulse beat against her back and in his wrists where his arms were wound around her.

He wanted to remain still but the need to move was nearly stronger than the need to breathe. He shifted slightly, enough to push up closer, deeper into tight, willing heat. Her hands fluttered, sought anchorage.

"Daniel." It was a helpless sigh. But it was also the permission he had been waiting for. Slowly he began to move; gently, pushing and teasing. He could feel the way she was still quivering and pulsing from her first climax and he gently fed it, like a slowly growing fire. He focused on the pleasure she was feeling, remembering the way he could keep her like this for what seemed like hours.

Her ear came under his lips when he lowered his head. "I love you," he said again, shocked by how much his voice sounded like hers, laced with ecstasy and utterly defenseless. He had been concentrating so much on Jillian that he had almost forgotten his own intense arousal.

Daniel took long slow breaths through gritted teeth. The sensation on his erection was almost unbearable. If he let himself be too aware of the penetration, the burning sweetness, the sheathing, the pulsing welcoming heat, the way Jillian's body was taking him and responding all over again…

Oh, god, oh fuck…

Her breasts came under his hands and he concentrated on caressing and petting, teasing, rhythmic and relentless. Jillian started gasping in low moans.

"Daniel, I…I'll—oh, god, baby. Please don't stop." Her voice had gone down in to the low, sexy range that sent another hot pulse of desire into his groin. Impossibly , he got harder. She pushed down on him at the same time and Daniel's ears started to ring. He saw stars for a moment.

The sound she made was only slightly lower than the groan that vibrated out of Daniel. Jillian sank down and back against him, still but shivering, dazed as if drugged. Her complete surrender was a lethal mix of comfort and arousal. She was his. She had never stopped being his. The long nights of dreaming and waking to reach for her only to find her gone were finally over. His hands wandered just to touch her, just to be touching her.

"Daniel, talk to me, let me hear your voice." The words feathered into his ear and across his fevered brain. She was feeling the same thing – the wonder at their reunion, the need for it to all be real. His voice was another way of being inside her. The words were only said between them. For some reason he switched to French, possibly because it was more romantic, maybe because they both spoke the language with utter fluency. More likely it was to drive out the echo of another time and place, another relationship. So that only Daniel remained.

He told her how much he loved her, how precious she was to him, how terrified he was of losing her. All the things he had told her a thousand times, in a thousand ways but were still important for her to hear. He told her how he wanted every piece of her, how she was the air he breathed and the water he craved when he was dying of thirst. Gradually Jillian's body began moving in response. Her breathing turned to sobs and she was panting his name and shaking as if she was going to come apart.

Then she was clenching on him. Rhythmic spasm clutched at him, deep inside her. Daniel's hips pushed up and forward of their own volition and – fuck – he wasn't going to last through this. He had wanted to flip them around, take her in his arms and feel her under him, treasured and protected, warm, alive and climaxing and his. But that was not going to happen.

The image was enough. The feeling of her was enough. Ecstasy sizzled down his spine and into his groin and erupted out of his cock, deep inside the woman he loved. His vision went white, a roaring rush expanded inside his skull. When he thought it couldn't get any more intense, Jillian would thrash and clutch at him and his name on her lips would fall into his hearing he'd respond to her with more powerful waves. Vaguely he realized that she was deliberately contracting on him, heightening the experience.

When it peaked and he started down the other side, it only got sweeter. The blinding pressure in his head started to clear, and he became aware of both their thundering heartbeat and shallow breathing. Jillian was collapsed weight in his arms, still deliberately strengthening the contractions around his cock. For a moment he thought he might actually climax again just from that but it was only the aftershocks of the same monumental orgasm, the last sweet twinges pulsing and sparking. Jillian pushed down one last time, grinding onto him while he was still hard, straining to get every last moment of it before she sank down one last time, sighed, and lay still.

"Daniel," she exhaled. "Oh, god, Daniel."

"Yeah," he answered, barely able to get the word out. Not that it mattered. His lips were still right by her ear and the light whisper floated in without any effort at all. Jillian sighed in answer.

They lay there for a long while, trying to come down, breathing hard. Jillian's breathless moans slowed, softened. She placed gentle, affectionate kisses along the skin of his inner bicep, making him shiver. Then she laughed a little. "I love it when you hold me like that, when you lose it like that."

"I did not lose it," Daniel said, with mock defensiveness.

She laughed again. "Yes you did."

He smiled. He couldn't help it. "Okay, maybe a little," he admitted.

She reached back and traced a loving stroke down his cheek with her fingers. He was starting to feel too sensitive still encased in her sweet body and she knew it immediately. She pulled up and he held her hip still with one hand as he withdrew. They both groaned again at the unwelcome separation, as if even this much was too much after two months of loneliness.

Daniel leaned up to reach past her and turn off the light, drawing covers up with the last of his strength. He expected her to settle down and fall asleep. Spooned into him was also her favorite position to sleep in and he had been longing to have it again. But instead she rolled suddenly – facing him, falling onto him, into him.

"Oh god Jill," he choked, closing his arms around her, feeling hers go up and around him.

He had one hand up high enough to cradle her head in his palm. He held her carefully, as if she might break, as if she might shift again in a moment back to her preferred resting place. But Jillian only cuddled into him more closely, joyfully and naturally. She was getting sleepy, growing heavier in his embrace.

"So wonderful, Daniel, so amazing. Love you so much." Her words were sleepy.

"Yeah," he murmured, kissing into the fringe of her bangs.

"Can't live without you."

"Don't have to."

Jillian kissed his throat, his collarbone. "Hold me."

"Forever," he answered, tightening his arms a little. There was a brief silence and he knew she was almost asleep. "Jillian?"

"Mmm?"

"Hold me too?"

It woke her up enough to look up at him in the dim light, waiting until she was certain he was looking back. "With all my heart," she whispered, "always."

(0)


	309. Chapter 309

Light was just coming from the cracks in the drapes when they were woken by the sound of their son. JD made a startled, unhappy noise and then began to call for Jillian.

She got up instantly and called, "I'm here, JD. I'll be right there."

Daniel started to follow her. She stopped him with a hand on his chest. "Stay in bed. You need hours of real sleep still. He just woke up in a strange place and doesn't know where I am."

"He sounds scared," Daniel protested, following her up anyway. He was shaky on his feet for a moment and that told him Jillian was most likely right. But he hadn't been around to soothe JD's fears for too long and he wasn't going to stay in bed. It didn't escape Daniel's notice that JD was only calling for his mother, not for his father.

Jillian, of course, understood and said nothing as they hurried into clothes and went to their son's room. JD was standing up with tears running down his face and Gray Bear lying on the floor. He reached up with his hands opening and closing rapidly.

"Papa!" He cried, defaulting to Spanish when he saw Daniel.

Daniel picked him up, making a show of groaning as if JD was huge. "Si, hijo. Estoy aqui. Ha hecho más grandes durante la noche."

Jillian rescued Gray Bear and put it in JD's eager arms just before JD clutched firmly at Daniel's shirt. His tears abruptly dried.

"It's okay, Sonshine," she said, leaning over to kiss his cheek. "We're both here." To Daniel she said, "I'll go start breakfast and coffee if you'll get him dressed?"

"Sure," Daniel said, pretending to tickle JD's face with Gray Bear.

Jillian gave him a serious look and then wrinkled her nose. "He needs to be changed," she commented.

"Oh yeah," Daniel answered blithely.

A short while later, Jillian had pancakes and coffee started. Daniel came in and put JD in chair, shook out a pile of Cheerios in front of him and poured him a sippy cup with orange juice. Then he got a cup of coffee and took a long appreciative drink.

Jillian watched him fondly for a moment, as if he was a rare creature not often sighted. He came up behind her, set the coffee cup on the counter and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He made no attempt to curl into her or adapt his body to hers. He just braced his feet and stood tall and masculine and strong, only bending to briefly kiss her neck and then rest his chin on the top of her head. Jillian leaned into the bracing hold and warm contact, sighing.

"Thank you," he said.

"For?" She asked lightly, stirring honey into her tea, smiling a little.

"That magic carpet ride last night," he answered, "for being my wife, for waiting for me, _again_, for being my rock and my strength, the mother of my son, my sunrise, my-"

Jillian cut him off by turning in his arms and laughing. "You said all that last night. If you keep it up, you'll get me all turned on again."

"Before coffee?" Daniel asked, as if he was shocked.

Jillian laughed against his chest and tilted her head up to lightly kiss him on the lips.

"What do you need this morning?" He asked, serious and concerned.

"A shower would be lovely," she admitted. "A long slow hot shower."

"You haven't eaten," he observed.

"I did actually. I had a banana and toast. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I made the pancake batter for you and JD."

Daniel released her immediately, put his hands on her shoulders and turned her around, facing the door. "Then go. I spent the night with you. I'll spend the morning with JD."

Jillian shot him a sideways look. The day when none of his ordeal at the hands of the Ori had no power at all over Daniel was probably still a long way off. He'd pick at it every now and then until he was done with it and she would listen, as always. He was still tired. The dark circles under his eyes still looked like bruises. But this morning, Daniel seemed ridiculously and totally _happy_. The knowledge filled her with a pleased astonishment. She had thought he would hold onto his melancholy and private demons for much longer.

"Okay," she agreed. "He likes-"

"Strawberries on his pancakes, not maple syrup," Daniel finished and then smiled softly, "I haven't been gone that long, Jillian."

"It was an eternity," she answered.

They let that hang in the air for a moment, until Jillian knew that Daniel owned it and understood what it had meant to her.

"For me too," he admitted. They shared a lingering kiss that was chaste enough to have in front of their son and yet filled with enough passion to power the Gate. "Go get your shower. Relax. I'm here."

As Jillian left the room, Daniel started pouring pancake batter onto the hot griddle and chatting to JD in Spanish about how pancakes were made. JD happily chattered back. She paused and he glanced up. His eyes focused and sparked in renewed delight, wondering adoration. Jillian smiled at him, feeling her heart and soul dissolve into a thin veil of gossamer.

When Daniel smiled back, it was beautiful.

(0)

Jillian took every advantage of the time Daniel gave her for the shower. When she came back into the main part of the house, they were outside playing in the snow. She glanced in the kitchen and found that it was mostly cleaned up, with dishes soaking in the sink. The table was wiped and so was JD's seat, which was a huge task in itself.

She slipped into her jacket and went out to join them. Snow crunched under her feet. Her breath frosted the air.

Daniel glanced at her, eyes sweeping her up and down. "Are you warm enough?"

"Yes, for now," Jillian said, tucking her arm through his and putting her hand in his jacket pocket. "I suspect you're freezing though."

"Pretty much," he admitted, with a grin. "We won't be out much longer. He's getting tired."

Jillian laughed as JD fell down on his bottom in the snow and then struggled back to his feet. He took two steps and fell down again. This time he decided to stay down and attempt to pick up snow with his mittens. Daniel laughed then too. Jillian ached for a moment with the need to make him laugh like that forever. She pressed closer to his side.

"At least he's warm," he said, "It took me longer to get him in that snow suit than we're going to be outside."

Thwarted in his attempts to pick up snow, JD made his way back upright. He swayed for a moment, got his balance and then staggered forward again with determination.

"Have you thought about what we're getting him for Christmas?" Daniel asked.

"He already got what I wanted for him," Jillian answered, "You're home."

Daniel swallowed as their gazes locked. He brought her hand back out into the cold and held it with his, caressing the center of her palm with chilled fingers, shaping his fingers to hers. Jillian's shiver had little to do with the cold.

"Let's go inside. He's probably ready for a nap and we need to talk," Jillian said.

"Is that a bad 'need to talk'?" Daniel asked.

"No," she assured him with a smile.

Daniel let go of her and strode over to JD. The toddler squealed with delight as Daniel swung him in the air.

A half an hour later, Daniel settled JD in his crib for a morning nap and then went to find Jillian. She was in the bedroom, standing in front of the plain, solid dresser and brushing her hair. This time when he came up behind her he made no attempt to stand straight. He pressed in and curled and bent, kissing her ear and neck and locking his arms around her waist.

"Do you really forgive me for all this?" He asked. "Is that what we need to talk about?"

"There's nothing to forgive," she answered. "Unless everything you do isn't suddenly because you're protecting your family?"

Daniel shook his head, watching her in the mirror. "No everything I do is to protect the two of you."

Jillian hesitated, inhaled, bit down on her lip for a moment and then said, "The three of us."

Daniel blinked, frowned. "I hardly include myself in that-"

"No, Daniel," she interrupted. She placed her hands gently on his and pushed them down, passed her waist, between her hips. She stared at him intently in the mirror. "The _three_ of us."

The realization roared over him like a tsunami. He was swept under by it even as he struggled to make his voice work.

"Jillian," he said, in a voice frozen with shock. "Are you pregnant?"

She bit down her lip again and looked down. When she looked back up and sought his reflected gaze, she nodded and said, quietly. "Yes."

"Our daughter?" He sounded awed, dazed.

"Yes," she said again in a voice that was only slightly above a whisper.

His jaw dropped and then he started opening and closing his mouth trying to form words. "H-how? I mean, I guess I know how. The Asgard?"

"Heimdahl came while you were gone. I don't know what's going on with them, Daniel, or where they've been. It's something major. I can tell that much. He said that if we wanted this baby it had to be now. I didn't have a choice. Do you understand?"

"Of course I understand!" He blurted. "When? How long ago?"

"Almost five weeks now," she answered.

Daniel gaped for another moment and then shut his mouth, swallowed. "Why didn't you tell me right away?" He asked.

"There wasn't really time. You've been in the infirmary, or being grilled by the IOA. We haven't been alone until now. I- I wanted it to be perfect."

To Daniel's utter horror tears poured into her eyes and caught on her lashes. He'd forgotten how emotionally volatile she was in this condition.

"Hey, hey," he said, quickly, soothingly, turning her in his arms and holding her close. "It's okay. I'm sorry. It was perfect. It was. I couldn't have focused on anything else if I had known sooner. This is better. This is just us." He rocked her a little and then said, "Oh god, Jill, last night. Did I hurt you?"

"No," she said, quickly. "You would _never_ hurt me."

"Not intentionally no," he said, "But you were right, I did lose it. It had been so long-"

"I'm fine. We're both fine," she said, quickly. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and looked up at him with a brave smile.

Daniel exhaled in relief. "Alright," he said, "What have the doctors said?"

"Nothing," she answered, "I haven't told anyone."

It was enough to shut down his ability to speak again for several minutes. Then, "You didn't tell anyone?"

"No," Jillian answered, "Well Vala knows-"

"_Vala_ knows?" Daniel blurted. "Jillian! How is it that every time I go away I come back and you've made a connection to the least likely member of my team?"

"I didn't tell her! She figured it out. She was with me when I got sick, right before I talked to you on the ship."

"You've been getting sick again? You were fine last night at dinner."

"It's happening randomly this time. Other things seem to trigger it. The smell of bacon cooking makes me nauseous and ravenous at the same time for some reason. I was fine most of the day yesterday and then not so much this morning-"

"What? When?"

"While I was in the bathroom, showering. It's fine. I'm over it."

"My god, Jillian. You're going to give me a heart attack here."

"I'm all right, Daniel."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Even as he asked the answer came to him with perfect clarity. He stopped, sighing heavily. "Because they would have stopped you from going through the Gate and you were looking for me."

"Yes," she nodded, moving her head against his chest. "But I think my team suspects too. At least Mal does, and he probably told Rusty. Scotty is probably still clueless. He's too wrapped up in his wedding plans at the moment."

He had no response to that but to pull her closer. _Jillian. _He closed his eyes and put his face in her hair.

"Are you angry?" She asked, timidly.

"No," he said, "But as soon as we get back to the mountain, you're going to a doctor."

It was his 'willing to risk her eternal displeasure' voice, the one she had no power over. So she nodded because there was nothing she could say.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there with you," he said, after a moment of just holding her and rocking.

"You are _always_ there for me," she said, "Even when you aren't here."

Daniel put his hand beside her face, cradled it. "Do you have any idea how much I love you? You've given me things I didn't even know I needed. It's the most incredible thing. It's, like, filling in places I wasn't aware were empty; and yet I can't love you one bit more. You have all of me already. I was wholly in love with you before this, and will be after."

Jillian swallowed, bit down on her lip and put her hand over his. "You're going to make me cry again."

Daniel dipped down so that his lips were hovering over hers. Just before he kissed her he said, "So cry and let me take care of you. We've done this before. I got it this time."

(0)


	310. Chapter 310

**Short tag for Bounty. Really not all that much I can do with that one.**

**(0)**

Daniel stood in the middle of the street panting and stunned for a moment. He looked up for the mother and her child but they had already fled, running down the pavement and not looking back.

He pulled his cellphone out and ducked into a side alley, out of sight of the gathering crowd and horrified people pouring off the bus and hit the contact for Jillian, waiting impatiently as it rang.

"_Daniel_?"

"Where are you?"

"_I'm at Macy's, shopping. Why?"_

"Is the baby with you?"

"_If you mean JD of course he is. Who would I leave him with in Lancaster, Daniel?"_

"Go somewhere that you can't be seen and stay there. A dressing room, or-or-or an elevator. Go to an elevator and pause it and stay there."

"_Daniel, what's going on?"_

"Just do it!"

"_I am! I'm walking to the elevator right now. What's wrong?"_

"I'm going to have both of you beamed back to the SGC."

"_What? Now?! All of our stuff is at the hotel."_

"You must have something with you. Are you in the elevator?"

"_Yes."_

"Alone?"

"_Damn it, Daniel, yes_!"

"Hey! Language. He picks up everything!"

"_DANIEL!"_

"Okay, shut it down and stay there. I love you."

"_Dan-"_

He shut the phone off and dialed Jack.

"_Daniel,"_ Jack sounded genuinely glad to hear from him, _"how goes the museum-"_

"Jack! I need Jillian and JD beamed to Landry's office, like five minutes ago!"

"_Okay. Just a sec." _ There was a moment's pause and then Jack said, "_Done. You want to tell me what's going on?"_

"Someone just tried to kill me."

Daniel could almost hear Jack sitting up, coming awake, like a jungle cat napping in the sun and suddenly alerted to the presence of danger. "_What?"_

"Someone came on to me at the library, hit on me, which doesn't happen at all since I started wearing a wedding ring. I turned her down and she took a shot at me. I dodged it, she chased me and then she got hit by a bus. Look, can I get back to you about this? I still need all my stuff from the hotel-"

"_You're not going back to the hotel, Daniel. Not if someone is taking shots at you. I'll send a team. You're coming home."_

"I don't actually need _all_ my stuff right away, but if you can get JD's teddy bear. You know-"

"_Gray Bear, yeah, I got it. Go home, Daniel."_

Daniel started to argue but a flash of light interrupted him. A second later he was standing in Landry's office, which was thankfully deserted, it being after 9pm, except for his spitting mad wife and wailing son. Jillian was walking up and down, bouncing JD on her hip and trying to soothe him.

She spun around when he appeared and said, "What the actual fuh-"

"Jill!" He cut her off with a pointed look at the baby as he took JD from her and wrapped him up tight. "Shh, JD. Que esta bien. Esta bien, hijo."

"Shén jīng bìng," Jillian muttered. "What is going on? Because you had better have a _very_ good reason for putting fifteen hundred miles between our son and his g-r-a-y-b-e-a-r."

Switching to French Daniel said, "Quelqu'un a essayé de me tuer."

Jillian stopped speaking at all. She appeared to have stopped breathing. Daniel went on swiftly, "Je suis très bien. Mais j'avais besoin de s'assurer que vous étiez tous les deux en sécurité."

"Daniel!" She fell forward and flung both arms around him.

Daniel's cell phone rang. He gave JD back to Jillian and answered it while keeping one arm around them both. "Yeah, Jack….. Okay…. Let me get Jillian settled in our quarters and you can beam me there." Jillian clutched at him and he shot her a soothing look. "Yeah. I'll tell you everything then. …. We're all fine, yes. I'll call you…. Oh! Jack! About-"

Daniel was cut off by a whining noise and a bright light that appeared on Landry's desk. When it was gone, JD's teddy bear was sitting there.

"Dray Bear!" JD said, reaching for it eagerly.

Jillian retrieved it for him as Daniel said, sincerely, into the cell phone "Thank you. There's no chance of getting him to sleep without that…. Yes. Give me a couple of minutes. Oh! Did you check on Sam and Mitchell; and where's Teal'c? ... Okay. Yes. Bye."

"Are they all right?" Jillian asked, anxiously.

"So far, but Sam is in the middle of her presentation. Jack hasn't been able to talk to her yet. No one can get hold of Mitchell."

"What?" The alarm in her voice was growing

"We'll try to reach him! But, all right look, you and JD are staying here tonight, under the mountain. No arguments." He expected one. Jillian always wanted to go home when anything was disturbing. But this time she just looked at him with wide, frightened eyes and nodded.

Daniel put his arm around her shoulders again. "We should probably go sign in," he said, gently.

She gave him a startled look and said, "You think?"

"Did you eat?" He asked.

"I had something at the mall. What about you?"

He shook his head as they walked out of the office and down the thankfully almost deserted corridor. "I don't think I could eat. I wouldn't mind finding some coffee though."

Jillian rolled her eyes. "Of course you wouldn't."

(0)

Que esta bien. Esta bien, hijo – it's okay, it's okay, son.

Shén jīng bìng – Insanity

Quelqu'un a essayé de me tuer – Someone tried to kill me

Je suis très bien. Mais j'avais besoin de s'assurer que vous étiez tous les deux en sécurité. – I am fine. But I needed to make sure that the two of you were safe.


	311. Chapter 311

**This chapter exists for the sole purpose of venting my frustration over Bounty.**

**(0)**

"OW," Daniel said, jerking his hand back and trying to move away, spinning the stool at the breakfast bar to avoid her. Jillian pulled his hand back and admonished him, "Hold still!"

"It hurts," Daniel grumbled.

"This will stop that," she said, pulling his hand towards her again and applying the broken edge of an aloe vera plant to the minor burns on his hand. She was moving with the brisk efficiency of someone trained in emergency field medicine but there was genuine concern in her expression. "Did you have everything on that laptop backed up?"

"Yes," he said, still sulky and frowning at the oozy stickiness she was smearing on his finger. "Most of it. Not some of the last few things. I'll have to go back-" He broke off when she speared him with a look of pure hostility. "Or I could send someone to go back for me. Nyan, maybe."

They were silent for a few more tense moments and then Jillian said through gritted teeth, "This is _ridiculous_. You aren't a member of one of Jack's Special Forces teams. There are large enemy ship's full of Priors who are still murdering innocent people in the name of the Ori and you are out there risking your life over _space corn_."

Daniel winced, not so much from the burn as from the way her nails were digging into his palm. She spat the last two words as if they were particularly vile.

"We did declare war on the Lucian Alliance," he said, trying to sound calm and reasonable.

"So we're waging it by blowing up corn shipments?"

"Well, when you put it like that-"

"How else is there to put it, Daniel? If we're at war why don't we consider waiting for them to come to us and stop being the aggressors here? You used to always seek the peaceful solution first."

"I'm not sure the Lucian Alliance is going to agree to peace talks."

Jillian put her hand on the side of his face and stroked her thumb over his cheekbone. "Sont-ils la peine de laisser votre fils sans père? Votre femme sans son mari?"

He stopped, took a breath, started to speak and reconsidered it again. "You have a point," he conceded.

She made eye contact with him and he was sharply reminded that fire could, indeed, burn green. She started working on his fingers again. "I'm willing to accept that I might have to sacrifice you to some greater good. But I am _not_ willing to sacrifice you to saving the galaxy from a corn addiction. This is the SGC not the DEA. You're a linguist, Daniel, not a commando!"

Daniel started to answer and then said, "OW!" He frowned at her, "Are you doing that on purpose? It didn't hurt that much when it happened!"

Jillian gave him a stern look and shot a meaningful glance to where their son had turned their living room into Jurassic Park with his dinosaurs. They tried not to disagree too vehemently in front of him.

"I love you, Jillian," Daniel said, "I'll talk to Mitchell about the assignments."

"So all of this is Mitchell's idea? He's not a commando either and I kind of resent it if his first forays into this field will result in all of you getting killed one way or the other."

Softly Daniel said, "Don't get mad at my team leader because he doesn't have the same experience as my last one.

Just as softly, Jillian said, "I'm not exactly mad at him. Frustrated maybe. He dragged you back into this because of the Ori, not the Milky Way Mob."

Daniel blinked. "Please don't call the Lucian Alliance that in front of him. He'll start using it."

"He can call them what he wants as long as he starts letting some other team deal with them. I swear to you, Daniel, get your priorities in order or I'll be the one calling Jack."

"No," Daniel said hurriedly, "Let's not drag Jack into this. I told you I'd talk to Mitchell and I will."

JD got up from the middle of his pile of plastic dinosaurs and went to lean on Daniel's leg. "Daddy's got an owie?" He asked, standing on his tiptoes to peer curiously at the bandages.

Daniel relaxed instantly. Jillian let go of his hand and turned away, getting her temper under control. When she turned back some of the fire in her eyes had died down. She began wrapping gauze around one singed finger.

"Yeah," he told JD, "I burned my fingers accidentally.

"You need a ice pack?" JD asked.

"No, I'm fine," he said.

"Mommy's mad," JD observed eyes wide.

"Mommy doesn't like it when I get hurt," Daniel said, carefully.

Jillian finished wrapping his fingers and stood there holding his hand for a moment, gripping it tightly. When she lit go, Daniel leaned down to pick JD up and settled him on his lap.

JD put his small hands on either side of Daniel's face and said, with his simple childlike logic, "Then you be more careful. Not get hurt."

Daniel almost laughed but choked it back. JD was gazing at him so earnestly. "I will," Daniel answered just as solemnly.

"Mommy still loves you," JD assured him, but he looked over at Jillian uncertainly.

"Yes, JD, Mommy loves your Daddy very much," she answered.

That seemed to make JD happy. So he looked back at Daniel. "You want to play dinosaurs?" He asked.

"Yes," Daniel said, "Let's go play dinosaurs!" He stood up, sweeping JD along, tossing him in the air while the little boy squealed in delight. Jillian tried to remember a time when that sound had not been in their lives and failed.

"Mommy!" JD laughed, "Come play dinosaurs!"

Jillian finished wrapping up the piece of aloe vera and putting away the bandages.

"All right," she called from the kitchen, "but only if I get to be the T-Rex."

"UH!" Daniel said, in his best imitation of a thwarted child. "You _always_ want to be the T-Rex!"

"Well of course I do," Jillian said, sitting down on the floor with them and slipping both arms around one of Daniel's, hugging it close. "T-Rex rocks."

Daniel leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips. "So does my wife," he said, happily.

(0)

"Sont-ils la peine de laisser votre fils sans père? Votre femme sans son mari?" - "Are they worth leaving your son without a father? Your wife without her husband? "


	312. Chapter 312

**This is a tag to Family Ties, which has to be one of the dumbest episodes ever, but I think Daniel and Vala needed to talk and this will give some more dimension to their relationship.**

**I'd also like to say that in spite of this being a dumb, throw-away episode that ruined what could have been an amazing back story for Vala, Claudia's understated, emotional performance was amazing.**

**(0)**

Vala had gotten used to people knocking on her door over the last few weeks. Everyone – literally _everyone_ – seemed interested in her relationship with her father in a way that had her alternately touched and exasperated.

She was part way into the exasperation when the latest knock on the door came.

"What?" She said.

"Vala? It's Daniel."

She sighed heavily. If there was one person on the Base who was most likely to be utterly unfazed by exasperation it was Daniel. He'd just stand out there until she let him in. So she marched over to the door and yanked it over.

"What!" She said again.

But Daniel was standing with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders hunched forward a little, not making eye contact and looking penitent. So it took some of the wind out of Vala's sails. She had to give it to him. He knew how to handle women when they were extremely pissed off.

"Sorry. I'm a little cranky," she said, softly.

Daniel smiled a little. "You passed cranky at breakfast. After you stalked away from the table Cam suggested to Sam that you might enjoy a little time on the firing range."

"That did help a little," She said admitted. But she knew he wanted to talk to her about her father again so she braced herself for the renewed pain that always left her feeling vulnerable and helpless. If Daniel so much as hinted that she needed to get over this or that it wasn't important….

But Daniel said, "I came to apologize."

She opened her mouth, shut it, chewed on her lower lip for a moment with her hip canted against the door and then said, "Well in that case come in."

He followed her into the room and waited for her to shut the door, cross the room again and sit down on the bed. She patted the bed next to her but Daniel shook his head. So she sighed and looked at him expectantly.

"I'm sorry. I should have listened when you said that you knew him better than we did. You were right and I was being naïve. I'll try to listen next time."

Vala was so taken off guard that she couldn't speak for a moment. So she sat and stared straight ahead and struggled to give him the straight, honest answer she had learned was the only thing Daniel ever accepted. "He never wanted to change, Daniel. It was a scam all along. I knew it and I was refusing to acknowledge it. I _knew_ it down to the bottom of whatever soul I have and I still ignored the possibility. So how could you have known?"

"I could have learned by listening," he answered. He was wearing the expression he wore when he was trying to articulate his own thoughts. His voice was low, with very little inflection, musing, startled by his own stupidity and lack of empathy. "I'm sorry. When you looked so sad at the end of our conversation, I thought it was because you were thinking about how hard it is not to fall back on the old ways. But that wasn't it, was it? You were sad because I didn't understand and you didn't know how to make me. I think I just started to realize that you aren't fighting to return to your old ways. Something about that time no longer appeals to you."

"Something like that," she acknowledged, spinning a length of hair around her finger. "I did try to tell you. Jacek was never interested in trying to live what you called a 'semi-normal' life."

"I know that now," Daniel said, "I can only promise to actually listen to what you say and not just assume I know what you're thinking."

Vala shrugged. "It's not your fault that we can't talk to each other. I lied to you a lot, almost constantly in fact. It's hardly any wonder you got into the habit of filling in the truth on your own; or at least what you thought was the truth. You're just still doing it even when I'm trying to be honest with you because you've learned to question everything I say."

He looked down and then back at her. "It was more than that this time. I thought you and your father still weren't being honest with each other. That's what happened between Jillian and her father. They didn't speak for years, decades in fact. It turns out they had just never talked to each other and they both had very different ideas of what had happened after her mother died. I kind of got into the middle of it accidentally but that turned out to be a good thing because they finally got to the truth. I wanted that for you. I wanted to believe your father was trying to change."

Vala smiled at him sadly. "You always see the best in people, Daniel, or you try to until you're completely proven wrong. I should be glad for that or you wouldn't have sponsored me to be part of this program. But not everyone sees this as a normal life; or even a semi-normal one. You define normal as what you do and more specifically what is normal for your particular culture on this planet. Like it or not I still live very outside of what is considered normal just about anywhere in the galaxy. For Jacek, the life he lives is what he wants. It's what he's always done and he doesn't see a thing wrong with it. He _chose_ a life outside the rules and I'm not sure I ever did. It was what I got stuck with. In the cosmic scheme of things it's probably for the best. He taught me a set of skills and playing outside of the rules that helped me survive most of the things that have happened to me."

Daniel shifted his weight from one foot to the other, hesitated briefly and said, "At the risk of butting in again – and feel free to tell me to shut the hell up, I've done it to you often enough – maybe you just need to find a way to forgive him for that and accept him right where he is. Stop expecting him to be different. We don't get to pick our parents."

Vala blinked again. "I never thought of that," she admitted. She chewed her lower lip again for a bit. Then smiled and shrugged in a way that said _not that it will matter. _"Who knows when I'll ever even see him again, so…" She shrugged again with a little tilt of her head to the side.

"So you've got time to change the way you think about him," Daniel finished for her.

Her eyes narrowed and a bit of the former exasperation leapt into her expression. Wondering how Daniel could be so lovable and so annoying at the same time she said, "You just can't quit, can you? Trying to make the whole world better?"

"I guess not," Daniel said, with a self-mocking grin. "You can swear at me if you think it will help. Jillian does, usually in Mandarin. It doesn't change anything I'm going to do but it makes her feel better."

Vala snorted out a choked laugh. "I'm not in a swearing mood at the moment; at least not at you."

"Well if you want Jillian to teach you some colorful Mandarin, just say the word. It's pretty satisfying," Daniel smiled a little and she couldn't help but smile back.

"I'll let you know if I do," she said.

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	313. Chapter 313

Daniel sighed, swallowed the last of the most recent cup of coffee and opened the next box in the stacks in his office. The boxes were all part of the massive collection Catherine had sent him. Most of it was ancient Egyptian and should be in museums. Some of it had already returned to the Egyptian government, but that was now in such a turmoil he was holding off sending any more. What kept him looking into the contents of those boxes now was the rare and occasional thing he found that had something to do with the Ancients.

This search, the run-ins with the Lucian Alliance, Teal'c's recent mega-meltdown, the major fuck-up that was their trip to P4M-328 (which was still driving him nuts because the museum had exhibits that included replicas of Ra's headdress, the helmet of a Horus Guard and the uniform of a Serpent Guard, indicating that P4M-328 was under the control of both Ra and Apophis at different times in its history and Daniel was itching to know all of that history…), Vala's conflicted emotions over her father (which reminded Daniel uncomfortably of Adria's conflicted emotions over her mother) and all the other crap that was going on, throw in worrying about Jillian, and Daniel was exhausted.

He knew he was exhausted. He just couldn't stop.

So he opened another box and started reading through the list of what was in it, carefully tucked into a ziplock bag and recorded in his wife's neat, precise handwriting. After a moment he realized he'd read the first four items three times.

He took his glasses off and leaned on the box for a few seconds before he became aware that someone was standing in his doorway.

It was Jillian.

"Hi,' he said, leaning on the box a little, "How long have you been there?"

"Just the fact that you don't know is a little alarming," she said, coming towards him.

She took the list out of his hand and he made only a tiny show of rebellion over it. Mostly he just sighed heavily and let her have it while putting his glasses back on. She tucked the list back in the box and then put her hands on his shoulders and turned him towards the door.

"Where are we going?" He asked, stumbling forward.

"To bed," she said.

"It's only 4 o'clock in the afternoon," he protested, but he was still moving forward.

"I doubt you've slept since before 4 o'clock yesterday afternoon, so let's not argue with me. Okay?"

"There's been a lot going on," he grumbled. "What about JD?"

"I already called Dad and said we weren't coming home tonight. You're too exhausted to drive and you won't let me."

"You're having dizzy spells again!"

"I'm not arguing that. But we aren't going home tonight and JD is fine."

Daniel didn't say anything. They made it out into the corridor and she took his hand. At that point Daniel actually looked down at her for the first time. She was wearing a pink t-shirt with nothing under it and a pair of black gym shorts, emphasis on short.

"Good lord, Jillian," he breathed. Ten weeks pregnant, she was still the sexiest thing he had ever laid eyes on; and maybe being pregnant only made her more so. After all, there was a primal exhilaration to knowing she was carrying his child. Her breasts were fuller again and he knew they were probably sensitive and thus the lack of anything under the shirt. He was careful these days, and he understood that sometimes she just didn't want him to touch. But…. _Good lord._

She answered with a sultry smile that made him glance around for the nearest security camera.

Maybe he wasn't as exhausted as he thought.

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They got to their quarters and Daniel let her undress him, slowly, with long lingering kisses. He took his glasses off and handed them to her, as if he didn't trust himself to put them somewhere safe and the implied trust in the gesture touched her. Then she steered him to the bed and moved in beside him until he was moving into the center of it. He sat at first, and then sank down with a grateful groan. In spite of the opening tease and the hot outfit she was wearing, the minute he was prone and he could feel the cool sheets against his back, his body gave a kind of long sigh and started to relax.

Jillian knelt next to him, still fully clothed if one could call the skimpy outfit clothed. She leaned over to kiss his neck, then wandered down over his collar bone.

"God, honey, I want to, really," he murmured sounding apologetic.

Jillian smiled into the kiss she pressed against his chest. "I just want you to lie there. I know you're on the verge of exhaustion, but your brain isn't shut off yet."

He looked sideways at her and she knew he was considering that and knew it for truth.

"Close your eyes," she said, "It's okay if you fall asleep. This is for you anyway."

He started to protest that but she stopped him with a kiss and he subsided. He obediently closed his eyes. She did little but stroke him for a long time, lying beside him pressed up close, moving only her hands and sometimes only her fingers. It was more massage than erotic stimulation but he reacted to it nonetheless, stirring into a loose erection that stood straight but left the head still covered by his foreskin.

Jillian smiled again, because she loved him when he got like this, hypnotized by touch and utterly willing to let her control everything. She got up, slipped out of her clothes and straddled his hips. He looked up at that point, resting his hands on her thighs but waiting.

She leaned forward enough to run her hands over his broad chest, smooth pale skin moist and soft, over muscle quivering with tension, feeling the hard buffed frame, the solidness of tender flesh and bone, over the body she'd adored and tended and slept beside and worked beside, made love to, until she knew it as well as she knew her own. His heartbeat was strong, maybe a little fast, reassuring her that this precious irreplaceable life she kept losing was here now and hers. The man she sometimes felt she had hardly even begun to understand, had never even tried, never even asked if it was possible but loved anyway. She ran her hands over the bone and muscle of shoulders, then down to his ribs and around to feel the back of him, the flex and swell of muscle. She cupped abs under her palms, tried to span the depth of rib cage, ran her thumbs gently across nipples that hardened to sharpness, watched the slow flush spread up under creamy skin to creep into his throat, over his cheekbones.

He was achingly beautiful like this.

"Daniel," she murmured, in something like awe. She slid away from him and went down. She placed a kiss on the soft, still covered head of his penis and then used her moist beautiful mouth to draw his foreskin down and away.

"Oh my god," Daniel gasped as her mouth closed over him. If she had wanted him to finally stop thinking, she'd succeeded. He hardened in a sudden hot swell. His hand went reflexively to her hair. It trembled for a moment, then stroked and then lay still.

Jillian took him in deeply; sucking with an intense tenderness, then drew up to tease his head with a tongue tip, lips ringing his shaft just below the ridge. Daniel started making inarticulate sounds; a lot of sounds, embarrassing sounds, sounds that didn't need words to reveal how good it was, how unbearably, amazingly good. She teased him for a while longer; slid up and down a few times, a long, slick slide of lips and tongue; and then closed her mouth hot and wet on the head of Daniel's cock - hands involved now, pulling on him - and sucked him until he came.

Daniel cried out high and ragged, his tailbone driving down into the mattress, his limbs splayed. The release was sharp, involuntary, ecstasy, pure and out of his control. He was vaguely but gratefully aware of Jillian straddling him again, driving his spurting cock into her body. She sank down, tripling the pleasure of his orgasm. Her hands dug into his shoulders and his landed on her hips, holding her still as he drove up into her by instinct. Jillian climaxed with tremors running down the insides of her thighs and into his, running up the length of Daniel's cock inside her. Her gasps were tight and stunned.

She fell forward gently, settling against his chest and sighing. Daniel was limp and motionless except for the fingers of one hand idly moving between her shoulder blades. She stayed there for a long time then couldn't hold her body up off her belly any longer; so she fell over onto her side and snuggled up against Daniel. He put one arm around her and brought her head into the hollow of his shoulder.

She tilted to look up at him. Daniel felt the motion and she caught him smiling - a sweet, small, inscrutable smile. He held it for a moment, then closed his eyes and settled down into his pillow. His fingers combed through the hair over Jillian's ear, around and down, around and down. As he started to doze, the movement slowed. She watched him fall asleep. When he was totally out, his hand slid strong and heavy even in sleep, down to rest on her arm. Fingers curled, warm and possessive.

_I love you,_ Jillian thought, helplessly, _you're impossible and contradictory and you can be an incredible pain in the ass, but you're beautiful and special and incredible and I love you._

In his sleep Daniel seemed to hear her. He sighed softly and Jillian smiled as she closed her eyes.

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	314. Chapter 314

**Fluffy filler from Family Ties. The continuation of Girls' Night In.**

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Jillian napped for a short time and then got up. Daniel stirred, turned towards the movement of her leaving. She leaned over and kissed him and murmured softly in Gaelic, "_Codladh gra geal mo chroi_." He inhaled and let it out and then fell back to sleep. Jillian fluffed his hair for a moment to make sure he was well and truly out again. She pulled the sheet and blanket up and tucked it around him and gave him one more lingering look, thinking that her heart could break just from watching Daniel sleep.

Then she put her gym clothes back on and went to run on the treadmill for a while. It was there that Sam found her.

"Hey," Sam said.

Jillian slowed to a walk and pulled off her head phones. "What's up?"

"I thought you and Daniel left ages ago. Then I checked the book and you weren't signed out. So I went looking for you."

Jillian shook her head, "No Daniel's exhausted. I put him to bed and he better stay there. I don't want to drive, so we're both here for the night."

"Well I was going to go check on Vala, make sure she's all right, have a girls' night in. You want to join us?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." She stepped off the treadmill. "Let me get a quick shower and change and I'll meet you in her room?"

"Sounds good," Sam answered.

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By the time Jillian knocked on Vala's door, she and Sam were well into their second glass of wine. Jillian brought a bottle of Chardonnay for them and a Snapple peach tea for herself. She also brought two packages of Double Stuff Oreos because they had become a craving and if she didn't have company she'd eat both of them by herself. The women made room for her on the bed and she settled against the headboard with a pillow behind her lower back.

"So what are you guys talking about?" She asked, opening the Snapple.

"Men," Vala said, with a theatrical eye roll.

"Oh," Jillian said, drawing the word out thoughtfully. "Yeah. Do you ever wonder what it's like being a man?"

"Sometimes," Sam admitted.

There was a brief silence and then Vala said, "I think it must be hard sometimes." She waited with eyes dancing while Jillian and Sam tried to glare at her, failed and started giggling. "And it must have its ups and downs."

"Oh my god, stop," Jillian said, throwing the extra pillow at her.

Vala deflected it with ease and then settled back next to Jillian, stretching out her legs and sipping her wine.

"Do you ever think they wonder about what it would be like to be us?" She mused.

"Daniel told me once that he wanted to be me for one day, just to see what it was like, just to understand me better," Jillian answered.

"What did you say to that?" Sam asked.

"I told him it would take way more than one day," Jillian answered, with a slow shake of her head.

Vala and Sam laughed again and started digging into the cookies.

"I don't think they'd figure it out even if we gave them a lifetime," Vala said.

Jillian shrugged. "We'll see. I already intend to give Daniel the rest of my life so it's not like he won't have time."

"I've never felt like that about anyone," Vala admitted, "I've never had anyone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I've barely had people I wanted to spend a day with."

Jillian and Sam exchanged a glance, a wordless frustration that, of all things, Cam was on a date with Amy Vandenberg. Now when he could have been the one Vala turned to with all her conflicted emotions. Cam was good at that sort of thing. He was great at it, in fact. Sam knew it and Jillian was starting to figure that out.

"I think that may have changed for you now. Yes?" Sam said, hopefully.

Vala looked uncertain and nibbled gently on an Oreo. Sam and Jillian exchanged another look, this one concerned.

"You're not thinking about running again, are you?" Sam asked.

The hesitation was disturbing. Finally she said, "I think every day that if Adria is still alive, she's looking for me and then eventually she'll find me and that's how she'll find Earth. Sometimes I think it would be better to just let her find me. I almost refused to go back when Tomin set me free."

"But that's not running. That's being willing to sacrifice yourself for something bigger than you are," Sam said.

"That's pretty much an SCG trait," Jillian said with another shake of her head. "Daniel's got that one mastered."

"I don't know how you can stand it," Vala said, "I mean, do you ever get used to him being missing, or dead?"

"No, I don't," Jillian said, "It's the same hell every time. But it's Daniel and I know what he's been through so I bear it the best I can."

Vala hesitated again, finished a cookie and reached for another. "He told me about his first wife, how she was the host of a Goa'uld and she died. I guess it makes sense that he would be so over protective of you and so willing to risk his own life to make sure you're safe."

Jillian blinked. "He told you about Sha're?"

"A while ago," Vala went on, twisting the cookie open and scooping out the filling with her finger. "It explained a lot actually."

"Did he tell you about his parents?" Jillian asked, cautiously.

"No, he's never mentioned them and neither have you. I assumed they weren't in the picture one way or the other and if he wanted me to know he'd tell me."

Without preamble, Jillian said, bluntly, "Daniel's parents died in an accident when he was eight. They were crushed to death installing a museum display. It happened right in front of him."

Vala's shock was obvious. She stared for a moment with a cookie halfway to her mouth. Then she sighed and shook her head. "Well that explains a lot too."

"It's part of the reason he's so determined that families work things out," Jillian said. "He can't imagine being at odds with parents that you still actually have; and he's coloring everything with his own reaction to being a father. Daniel sees everything from his own perspective. But you should know that it was almost impossible for Daniel to let people into his life for a long time. The SGC changed all that. It has a way of doing that," Jillian paused and shot Sam a very affectionate glance. "I never had a sister until I met Sam."

"Yeah," Sam said, lifting her wine glass in Jillian's direction, "Same here; and I'm closer to Daniel, Cameron and Teal'c than I am to my actual brother. So what we're trying to say is that, even if you still haven't worked things out with your father and even if you never do, this is a really great place to find the family you didn't know you were missing."

"And even the ones who get all up in your business and make you want to strangle them are only doing it because they love you."

Vala looked from one of them to the other. "Yeah," she said, "I'm starting to figure that out."

She folded her legs under her and leaned towards Sam. "So in the interest of sisterhood when are you going to tell me who it is that you keep sneaking out of town to see?"

"It's not that I'm 'seeing' someone, Vala. Not the way you mean anyway. Mostly I go to DC to spend time with the General's son. He's like my own."

"He's ten years old," Vala said.

"Yes, he is and I've been practically his mother since he was six. So it isn't exactly sneaking that I'm doing. Everyone knows where I'm going."

Vala looked at her very skeptically. "And the General himself doesn't factor into this at all?"

"In a way," Sam shrugged, "He was my CO for eight years. It's that family thing we were just talking about."

"Yes, but I notice you didn't include him in the list of people you consider your brothers," Vala pointed out shrewdly.

"He was my CO, Vala. I'll tell the General things, but it's not the same as with the others. My relationship with him is completely different."

Vala pouted in extreme disappointment. "So this guy I thought you've been sneaking away to see is actually-"

"General O'Neill's ten year old son," Sam finished. "Yes."

"You really need to get a life, Samantha," Vala said, with a sad shake of her head.

"When I do I promise to tell you as soon as possible," Sam smiled and then deftly changed the subject, "More wine?"

"Please," Vala said, holding out her glass with a bright smile.

They talked about inconsequential things, getting more and more relaxed until they were sharing stories from childhood and trying to explain Valentine's Day and other seemingly bizarre holidays. Then Vala asked, "So Jillian, how are Scotty's wedding plans going?"

"Everything is still on schedule for March 1, in the chapel at Peterson. We're supposed to got have our dresses fitted next week, Sam," Jillian reminded her.

"It's on my calendar."

"How are you going to have a dress fitted if you're going to be almost five months pregnant by the time of the wedding?" Vala asked.

"They have a thing I can wear to estimate it, based on my pregnancy with JD," Jillian said, "it shouldn't be that far off."

"Can I come, to the fitting I mean?" Vala asked, "I've been watching all these romantic comedies and this will be my very first real life wedding."

"I'll have to ask Annie, but I don't see why not," Jillian said.

Vala gave another bright smile, drank some wine and then set the glass on the nightstand again. "You know, when I first came here I thought all of you Tauri found your partners in a contest like the ones in that show the Bachelor."

"Oh my god," Sam said.

"Well I did. Frankly, I've seen odder things on other planets – lotteries, contests; and not just for men to get women but the other way around too. You wouldn't believe some of the things out there."

"Oh I think we would," Sam said, with a sigh. "Things are slightly better in this part of the world, but this planet has a long way to go globally."

"So do I get to come to the wedding and the party afterwards?"

"I haven't seen a guest list," Jillian admitted, "But I imagine that the members of our teams will be coming; and our extended teams. Sam and I are both in the wedding, so…."

Vala had another speculative look on her face. "Do I get to bring a plus one?"

"Maybe," Jillian said, giving Sam a sideways look of mild concern.

Vala chewed on her lip for a moment. "Well then," she said, with a mischievous grin, twirling a lock of hair around her finger again. "I had better ask him soon before he decides he'd rather take Amy Vandenberg."

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	315. Chapter 315

Daniel woke up with no idea of what time it was. Living underground could do that and at some point Jillian must have turned off the lights because it was pitch dark. There should be some alarm about that because Jillian only wanted it pitch dark when she was having trouble sleeping. But he had gone to sleep spooned around his wife and now he woke up the same way. She was deliciously, securely still there with him. He pressed forward a little, into her warmth. He nuzzled into her hair, kissed the soft skin of her shoulder.

Jillian rose briefly from the depth of sleep, murmured his name, snuggled back and wrapped her hand around the arm he had under her neck and over her ribs. He stroked his other hand gently over the soft swell between her hips. At ten weeks she was barely showing but he knew her body as well as his own and it was obvious to him. He sighed in relief and drew her even closer. Their entwined legs shifted for a moment, seeking a more comfortable tangle. He felt her descend slowly back to sleep and moments later, profoundly content, he followed her.

When he woke again much later, he was very hard and very turned on, hungry for his wife. He suspected he was reacting to subliminal cues in his sleep. Robbed of his eyesight all he had was his other senses and his sense of touch was off the scale at the moment. Jillian had rolled over at some point and was facing him. Her hand was resting on his hip and the head of his cock was brushing against her wrist. He could feel her breasts, heavy and full, pressed against his chest. Since he wasn't allowed to touch them at the moment unless he asked, that alone was a heady sensation. He leaned in a little and when she didn't move away he got even harder.

She had one leg over one of his and he could feel soft curls and damp heat pushed against his thigh. He lifted it minutely and rubbed. Jillian inhaled and then sighed in pleasure, rubbing back.

If he got much harder he was going to come before they even got started.

"Jill?" He said, because he really needed to know that she was awake. It was true that she was still in that early pregnancy stage of being almost insatiable, hot, erotic and eager and willing whenever they had two minutes to spend together. He was sure that she was already just as warmly, intensely aroused as he was, but he wasn't about to take advantage of that if she was still even a little bit asleep.

"Mmmm," she said, tilting her head and pushing into him. He felt her lips reaching for his and he pulled back a little. The next sound she made was of frustration, almost a growl. He chuckled and groped until he found her hand, lifting it to touch his jaw and cheek, sandpaper rough. She laughed a little, understanding dawning and when he leaned down and struggled to press just soft wet lips to hers she was happy enough to comply.

"Morning," he purred in greeting, gathering her close, lifting her leg with his and getting in closer.

Jillian stroked just her fingertips over his rough cheek and then down his neck and chest, teasing down his abs, stopping short of his erection and then up over his hip.

There was no longer a shred of doubt in his mind. She wanted this.

The dark was both frustrating and intoxicating. He waited with breathless anticipation, waiting for her to decide what they were going to do about this. Maybe she wanted to go down on him again, like last night; and, _man_, did he want to know what he had done to deserve that because he'd do it again in an instant if that was all it took. He could feel her hand hovering in the air, inches away from where he wanted it.

Daniel ran his fingers delicately down her arm, grazed the softness and curved feminine muscle until he found her wrist.

Her hand dropped, found his cock, worked it slowly. She threw her leg over his hip and pushed up against his balls, rocking in almost slow motion. Daniel groaned like the mortally wounded.

"Jill," he said in a voice already so wrecked he hardly recognized it. He risked gently cupping her breast, grazing the silky skin with his thumb. Jillian whimpered but it was pleasure so he continued. Daniel swallowed, trying not to thrust into her hand. "God, baby, please."

In answer she pushed back from him, slid up just far enough to make it easier. He dropped his forehead onto her collar bone, trying to keep his bristled jaw from hurting her tender skin; and then he was twisting, thrusting, pushing up into so much heat and pressure it took his breath away. He put one arm under her knee and the other one around her shoulders. Jillian gasped, shuddered hard. Her hand on his bicep tightened.

There was no way for it to last, not when they had started already so turned on. In a way it was how they had adapted to being parents while still being desperately, passionately in love. They had learned to take advantage of the time they had, uninterrupted. He felt Jillian trying to control it, fight off the inevitable but her body was drenched and boneless. He was too far gone himself to make it last. He pushed in fast and deep and urgent.

Jillian inhaled sharply and gave up. Her back arched away from him as her hips ground down and she clenched on him. Daniel surrendered, let go of his resistance to completion. He followed her into pleasure, blind in the darkness and trembling. He came with Jillian still pulsing sweetly in his arms.

The slide back down was just as wonderful and comfortable and familiar as the climb to ecstasy had been. He fell onto his back and she curled up close to him, her arm draped over his chest, her head in the hollow of his shoulder, her still contracting in ways that made her shiver and sigh happily.

"Good morning," she purred.

"Is it?" Daniel asked, sounding muzzy. "It's so dark in here it could still be the middle of the night." He moved away from her and groped around the nightstand until he found his watch, hit the glow button and read the time. "It's 7:02 and I'm going to guess that's am."

Then he turned and threw a leg over Jillian's legs, an arm around her body. He shifted so that she could move her arm into a comfortable place. It wound up resting pretty close to his spent genitals but that was fine. That was more than fine. They were on the same pillow and he could feel her breathing reflecting off his jaw. He smiled, slowly, and didn't stop it; let it grow. He placed a very light kiss on her forehead.

"I love you," he said.

"Yes," she was smiling too. "More than love really. Not sure what this is, but it's more."

"Yes," he agreed, because it was. It was everything, what he had with Jillian now and what he had always had. Their children only made that better. He gave her another kiss and hugged her. "It is. It's… It's meaning of life stuff."

Jillian laughed, rubbed her head against him and said, "That's exactly what it is."

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	316. Chapter 316

**Tag to Dominion. Team goodness.**

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The coffee table and end tables in the Jackson's downstairs retreat were strewn with what was left of Mexican takeout. There was a pitcher of strawberry margaritas still about half full, a cooler full of ice with the tops dark brown beer bottles sticking up and a pitcher of strawberry lemonade that Jillian and Teal'c were sharing. The sun had set hours before, leaving nothing but the night beyond the glass and the sheer white curtains. There was a fire crackling in the fireplace, adding its glow to the candles and the up-lights and the sconces on the walls.

SG1 had taken over the room. Vala was sitting on the floor on a fluffy throw rug, finishing the last of her first taco – which she had eaten very slowly – with her third margarita sitting on the stone floor beside her. Daniel and Jillian were in the matching chairs by the fire with the end table between them. Cameron and Sam were in the chairs opposite them. Cam had a bottle of beer held loosely on the arm of the chair. Teal'c was cross legged on the floor with a glass of strawberry lemonade.

The evening had started out in a congenial way – decompressing at the Jackson's after the incredible debacle of Adria's capture and consequent Ascension. The conversation had been necessarily generic for most of the evening. That was partly due to the presence of JD - who made his way from lap to lap sampling the Mexican food, being chatty and charming and messy as only a 23 month old child could be. He giggled and shrieked and threw himself with abandon into a wrestling match with Teal'c – which Teal'c pretended to lose quite a few times. He tangled Vala's hair into a knot and called her Bala and stole nacho chips from her plate.

When Daniel told him to leave Vala's hair alone JD answered, "But Bala soooo pretty!" Vala actually laughed for the first time that night, rolled JD onto her lap and pretended to tickle him.

"What about Sam?" Vala asked him, "Is Sam pretty?"

"Yes!" JD said, "Aunt Sam is pretty!"

"JD," Daniel asked, over the laughter that followed, "What about Mommy? Is Mommy pretty?"

"No," JD said, somberly shaking his head, "Mommy is beautiful."

"That's right," Daniel said as everyone else said, 'Awww" and JD scrambled up to sit next to Jillian, grinning.

While Vala attempted to brush her hair back into some kind of order, Cam entertained the little guy with a game of hide and seek that made JD put his hands on his hips and tell him, "Cam needs to learn to hide!"

Then he sat with Sam for a while until he got cranky and started to yawn and Daniel took him upstairs to get a bath, get into pajamas, hear a couple of stories and then fall asleep.

The lighter mood was also partly due to the delayed shock SG1 was collectively feeling. It didn't wear off until well after Daniel had returned. He came back carrying a fresh pitcher of margaritas. He grabbed a beer out of the cooler and sank down into his chair as Jillian asked, "Did he go to sleep?"

"Yeah," Daniel said, sounding tired. JD's bedtime ritual was often more exhausting for his parents than it was for JD. "He was more than halfway asleep when I put him in the crib and I didn't come downstairs until I knew he was out; and yes, I cleaned up the bathroom."

Jillian smiled at him tenderly.

There was a minor silence that was broken when Cameron asked Sam, "How upset was the General?"

Sam hesitated, looked at the floor for a moment and then said, "Pretty upset. More about how Baal knew where we were and what was going on than anything else, I think."

"He's not blaming me for that is he?" Vala asked, looking alarmed.

"Vala, if he suspected you had anything to do with it, you'd know it," Cameron answered.

"That's the truth," Sam agreed and Vala looked equally apprehensive and relieved.

"Well, he did make me suffer through that CAT scan," Vala said. "So I wasn't sure."

"Vala he made us all get a CAT scan, even _me_,"

Vala's eyes narrowed and she sat up a bit. "Why would it be significant that he made you get one? Didn't he get one?"

"He submitted himself willingly for one yes," Sam said, "He has the same problem you and I do. We can't be eliminated as Goa'uld hosts by a simple blood test."

"What?" Cameron and Vala said at the same time, wearing identical stunned expressions. Vala stopped talking immediately but Cameron pressed on, "The General was a host?"

"Jack was snaked for probably the briefest time in history," Daniel said, slowly, "You read that report, Mitchell.

"Well yes," Cameron said, "But I didn't think it was long enough to give him the protein marker."

"The snake died. That's all it takes," Daniel said.

Cam was watching him closely, sensing there was more. He finally looked at Sam. He and Sam went back farther than even Daniel and O'Neill – all the way back to the Academy. With Sam Cameron could be a cadet again, serious except when he was being a total smart ass, fresh-faced and unjaded, unaware of the dangers that awaited them. He did the same thing for her – let her relax a little and remember simpler times. Cameron didn't usually abuse that relationship. But the look he was giving her was intense.

"There was more," Sam admitted, looking only at Cameron.

"Sam?" Daniel turned her single syllable name into a question, into many questions. Teal'c stirred and cast a gaze up at Sam with the same questions. But that was the kind of shorthand they had.

Sam answered them by telling Cameron, "Jack was briefly the host of a Tok'ra."

"What?" Cam and Vala spoke in unison again.

"He doesn't talk about it and it was never part of an actual mission. It's part of his medical file, so it's confidential."

That shut them both up because neither of them would violate Jack O'Neill's privacy. Sam went on briskly, "So I think it's safe to say he doesn't suspect any of us and he's reasonably reassured there wasn't a breach of security at the SGC itself."

"But he won't stop trying to figure out how Ba'al knew where we were?" Cameron guessed.

"No, I suspect he already has a team out there looking into it," Sam answered.

"Davidson still on the hotseat for putting Adria in a room without an anti-Prior device?" Cameron asked.

Teal'c spoke up. "That we can only assume."

"We all dropped that ball," Daniel said, in a voice rich with guilt. "Davidson shouldn't have to bear the brunt of that."

"He's the commanding officer of the Odyssey," Mitchell said, "That's how it works. The bottom line is that his security department fucked up – and yeah we all did – but ultimately it was Davidson's ship and his responsibility."

Sam sat forward a little bit and said, "What I want to know is- what happens to Adria now? There are no Ori to protect her. She Ascended in this galaxy, so is she subject to the rules of the Ancients?"

Everyone – except Jillian – looked expectantly at Daniel. He looked back, startled and then annoyed. "I don't know," he said, defensively. When they continued to gaze at him he snapped, "I mean it! I don't know."

"Daniel," Jillian said, quietly.

It reined in some of his temper but not all of it. "Look, by now you should all know I barely remember being Ascended," he went on. "Apparently some of their rules didn't sit well with me and I got kicked out because of it. If Adria _is_ part of our galaxy now in her Ascension … Well I don't know what they might do about it. Their rules seem …. Arbitrary at best. Stupid at worst. I'm not sure she's any kind of threat to them anymore so my gut feeling is that they just won't give a damn what she does to us."

"Fan-damn-tastic," Cameron muttered.

"None of us knew she would try to Ascend," Vala said.

No," Cameron said, "none of us saw that coming."

"We all thought she was too weak, too far gone already," Vala's voice was distant and she was staring at a spot in the space in front of her that only she could see.

The others glanced at each other, except for Cameron who was looking only at Vala.

"You can talk about it," Daniel said. He was still in the pissy mood he'd descended into. That much was obvious.

Vala gave him a sharp look, "What?"

"How all that made you feel," Daniel answered. His voice had taken on the knife edge that meant he was about to drag out the truth no matter how painful it might be.

"I already told you, I was glad to see the Ori's plan fail and then Ba'al's failed too. You read my report. I tried to kill her myself."

"And that can't have been easy," low, ruthless. It was the sound of Daniel on a single-minded hunt.

"I didn't sign up for 'easy', Daniel. Neither did you," Vala snapped. Her eyes were filled with a kind of heartbreak none of them knew how to fix and barely understood.

Daniel opened his mouth and started to speak but Cameron cut him, "That's enough, Jackson."

Everyone in the room turned to look at Cameron in stunned amazement. He had never shown anything but the utmost respect to Daniel, deferring to him as often as he did to Sam. But the way he had just spoken was Cameron being deadly serious, done with being tolerant. He had every intention of cutting Daniel off at the knees before letting him hound Vala anymore.

In return Daniel's eyes narrowed to ice shards behind his glasses. The tension in the room went up as the temperature seemed to chill.

"Cam's right, Daniel," Jillian said, quietly but with authority. She was probably the only one brave enough to step in between Daniel and someone who was making him angry. She was probably the only one who could shut him down without getting frostbite. "Leave Vala alone. If she wanted to talk about it, she would and it might surprise you but she's got other people she can talk to about it if she wants. She doesn't owe you her private feelings and you of all people shouldn't be asking. No one gives away less of himself than you do; not even to me."

"I tell you everything," Daniel said through gritted teeth.

"No you don't; not about how you feel," Jillian answered. Then she let some of the iron fall out of her voice and gently reminded him, "You don't have to. I already know."

Before Daniel could say another thing, Vala spoke with stark courage and a rare sincerity. "It's all right, Jillian. I owe Daniel quite a bit, really. I wouldn't even be here in this room if not for the countless times he's … what is that phrase? Gone to bat for me? Is that a baseball reference or is it about those little flying creatures that come out at night?"

"Baseball," Cameron answered and Vala gave him a grateful smile.

"You didn't sell your soul to him, Vala," Jillian said, "That's not what you owe him."

"Hey, I'm right here," Daniel said, aggravated.

The other woman smiled a bit sadly. "Frankly, Jillian, I'm not used to anyone giving a …. A," she paused and looked at Cameron for the phrase that was eluding her. Cameron lifted his eyebrows and looked mystified. She suddenly remembered and smiled with forced brilliance, "Oh! I'm not used to anyone giving a flying fuck about me; though I have to admit that's something that sounds like it could be fun and shouldn't be dismissed so casually. So while I do find it more than a bit annoying that Daniel can't seem to stay out of my private and admittedly conflicted emotions about Adria – I also find it kind of endearing that he cares."

Without turning her head, Jillian said to Daniel, "Do _not_ give me that smug look and do _not _do that thing you do with your eyebrows when you think you're right."

Daniel made an exaggerated effort to swallow that exact reaction, and then looked frustrated, exasperated and bemused all at the same time.

Cameron spoke up. "We all care, Vala. You're a member of the team and this last thing messed with your head. But since we all know that, I don't see any reason to hash it all out unless you bring it up."

Vala seemed to consider that for a moment, looking pensive and uncertain. "I appreciate that too, Mitchell. But I think Jillian is right. I have other people I can talk to."

"You mean me and Jillian," Sam said.

"I think I do," Vala seemed surprised by that and then just smiled. "Maybe we can do another one of those girls' nights in?"

"You never know," Sam said, "First Thursday is this week. We can always do tequila shots and sing a bunch of maudlin songs and see where that leads."

Vala lifted her margarita in a salute, rolled her eyes and then downed what was left in her glass in one gulp. Once she had swallowed she said, sardonically, "Oh that sounds like just the thing."

The last of the tension evaporated out of the room. Daniel reached across the space between them for his wife's hand and drew it towards him. "Sorry," he said.

"It's not me you owe an apology," Jillian answered.

Before he could say anything, Vala waved a dismissive hand and reached for the margarita pitcher. "Don't worry about it, Daniel. I'm not going to give it another thought. I've figured out that you can be the pain in the ass of the family. I'm not ready to talk about Adria. That doesn't mean I don't want you to keep pushing me about it from time to time."

"And you can keep reminding me that I can be a pain in the ass," Daniel replied. He tilted his bottle of beer in her direction in a kind of salute. "Do we have a deal?"

Vala lifted her glass towards him and said, "Deal."

(0)


	317. Chapter 317

**This is a long chapter with a lot going on but it 'felt****' like one chapter. It immediately follows the previous one.  
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**(0)**

Daniel lay awake staring at the ceiling of the bedroom he had shared with Jillian for the last five years. He should be tired, exhausted really. The last mission and the amount of alcohol he'd consumed should have been enough to make him sleep. It was possible that he was being kept awake by the fact that his entire team had crashed at his place. Sam and Vala were sharing the king sized bed in the guest room. Teal'c and Cameron were on the downstairs couches.

But their presence in his house didn't ever bother him. It was comforting knowing they were all here and they were all safe.

So the actual reason he was still awake at 2am was probably the Ori and he usually just got up and went to his office to work when that happened. But that would wake Cam and who knew if Teal'c was even really asleep and he didn't want to do that.

So he stayed in bed with Jillian pressed against his side and one arm around her protectively and tried not to wake her up either. But he met with limited success. She had only been truly asleep for a little over an hour when she suddenly stirred restlessly, sighed and tried to get more comfortable. Daniel lifted his arm to give her space and then settled it around her again when she stopped moving. He was about to go back to staring at the ceiling again when Jillian made a small sound of discomfort and shifted again.

"Hurts," she murmured

Daniel became instantly alert, every nerve in his body tingled with alarm. "What hurts?" He asked, anxiously. Jillian didn't answer. She just shifted and made the same sound again. "Jillian," Daniel said, more emphatically, realizing that she wasn't entirely awake. "What hurts?"

She roused a little and answered, "My back." She sounded grumpy and tired "…. And my feet… a little."

Daniel exhaled in relief. Not that he was glad her feet and back hurt but at least he wasn't getting up to take her to the SGC infirmary. "C'mere," he said, softly, urging her onto her side.

She continued to make disgruntled sounds as she turned over, irritated because her sleep was being interrupted. She was only twenty weeks pregnant but the crankiness had started.

Daniel pressed up behind her and encouraged her with gentle touches to get comfortable and lean back against him. He fumbled around in the dark until he found the discarded body hug pillow she was so fond of and got it arranged in front of her the way she liked. He pulled up the sheet and blanket but no more because she was very warm now.

"Better?" He asked, anxiously.

"Yes." Some of the grouchiness was gone from her voice. But, "My feet still hurt."

"Did you wear your new shoes today?"

"Yes." She sighed again, wiggled a little to settle more firmly against him.

"That's probably why."

"Could be." Since the discomfort in her back appeared to be easing, Jillian now sounded somewhat mollified. Daniel put a sweet, chaste kiss against the back of her head. She turned her head enough to kiss the soft skin on the inside of his bicep. "Thank you."

He started to protest that he didn't need to be thanked for not wanting her to be in pain but he stopped. Jillian had a thing about them always being kind to each other, remembering to express gratitude for even the simple things and since he was pretty committed to making their relationship work, "You're welcome," he said, smiling as he kissed her shoulder.

There was a long, companionable silence in which Daniel was sure she had fallen back to sleep. When she spoke again, it was drowsy but she was obviously still awake.

"I know that was hard for you, earlier."

"What was?"

"Being asked about the Ancients. I know it frustrates you not to remember. You don't like saying you don't know."

There was something in Daniel that could never quite lie down, a need to argue that was inherit to his personality. So he said, "I've spent most of my life saying _I don't know. _It's the beginning of scientific inquiry. You do the same thing."

"But this isn't the same."

Daniel smiled again because even half-asleep with achy feet, Jillian would give him the argument he wanted. "How is it different?"

She didn't answer for a while and she was so still he thought she was asleep again. Then she stirred a little bit and answered, "Because it's information you once had and it was taken from you. It's information you wish you had because you think it would keep your family safe from the Ori; and every time someone brings it up, it reminds you that it's gone and will most likely never come back. It makes you angry; and I love you for that. But I don't want you to take it out on your team. They can't be afraid to ask rhetorical questions about the Ancients just because you're going to bite their heads off if they do."

Daniel made a small grunting sound that was more acknowledgement than agreement but it was late and she really did have a point.

"Go to sleep, Daniel. I'm sorry I brought it up. It's late." She snuggled back against him harder, using him for support and really, wasn't that what he wanted to be for her?

"I love you," he said, "I don't mean to be a jerk."

"I know you don't. Go to sleep."

This time he felt the change in the way she felt in his arms and he knew she had gone to sleep, vulnerable now but relaxed and safe. He lay there for a while longer realizing that he suddenly understood love and why people spent so much time singing about it and writing poems and wanting to be in it.

She murmured something a long time later when he was still awake but hadn't dared move and Daniel smiled. He smiled because even with her hair tickling his jaw and neck and the arm he had under her going numb from the lack of blood flow and the fact that he just couldn't beat this current attack of insomnia, Jillian had just said his name.

He smiled because in spite of his moods and his ability to be a complete jerk, Jillian loved him.

(0)

Vala was the last one to wake up and come upstairs for breakfast. She was still wearing whatever she had slept in, covered by a short silk robe tied in the middle. Cameron eyed her as she slipped onto the breakfast bar stool beside him.

"Good morning, sunshine," he said, and then glanced pointedly at the clock. "Oh, look, you just made it. Fifteen more minutes and it would have been noon."

"Shut up, Mitchell," Vala said, smiling at Sam, who was pouring her a cup of coffee. "Besides, aren't we all on stand down until they figure out whose fault the whole Adria Ascending thing is? What good is stand down if we can't sleep late after drinking tequila?"

Cam then cast a look down the length of bare leg coming out from under the robe and went on as if she hadn't spoken. "And are you aware that it's February? Kind of chilly for that outfit isn't it?"

"Why?" Vala countered, leaning towards him with a flirty smile, "Getting you turned on?"

Cam made a choked but dismissive sound, rolled his eyes at her and turned back to his empty plate and his coffee.

"Do you want something, Vala?" Jillian asked, "We have eggs and bacon, some sausage. The griddle is still hot if you want pancakes. Don't let Cam fool you. Cam only just got up a little while ago; we almost all did, except Daniel."

"Where's Daniel?" Vala asked. She hopped down off the stool and walked around into the kitchen, where she shooed Jillian away from the griddle. "Go. Get off your feet. I am perfectly capable of making my own breakfast."

Jillian didn't argue. In fact she took her cup of tea and went all the way to the couch, stretching out gratefully. She smiled fondly at Teal'c playing on the floor, building an elaborate train track for JD.

"Where's Daniel?" Vala repeated.

"He and I got up with JD around 6 and then he sent me back to bed. But he was excited about something. He wouldn't tell me what. When I woke up again at 9 he vanished into his office and I haven't seen him since."

"Has someone checked to make sure he's all right?"

"I heard noises from in there when I was taking a shower an hour ago," Sam told them.

"I'll go see what he's doing after you eat," Cameron said.

Vala paused before pouring another pancake. "I'll eat without you watching over me," she pointed out to him. "I think you're just too scared to bother Daniel in his office."

"I bother Jackson in his office all the time," Cam snapped, before realizing that made it sound as if he really did want to just watch her eat.

Vala gave him one of those infuriating, knowing smirks and went back to making pancakes.

She finished the pancakes and reheated the sausage and then went back to her seat at the breakfast bar. Cam and Sam had cleaned up the kitchen and then Cam had joined Teal'c on the floor to argue about the placement of the trestle and fix the crossroad bridge that JD had destroyed when he climbed over it.

The men were still on the floor with the train, Jillian was starting to doze off again and Vala and Sam were making plans for later in the day – trying to find a movie they all wanted to see because, no, the guys did not want to see 27 Dresses – when Daniel came bounding back up the stairs.

Jillian sat up when she heard him. JD knocked over the trestle running over to be picked up and all eyes turned to Daniel.

"It's alive," Cameron intoned, a la Dr. Frankenstein.

"Did you find whatever it is that you've been looking for?" Jillian asked.

Daniel hesitated. "I think so," he said, picking JD up.

"Daddy, see the train?"

"Yes, I see the train. It's an awesome train."

"So what is it?" Cameron asked.

He hesitated again, putting down the now squirming JD before going on. "Well, first I have to tell you about a dream, more of a vision, that I had last night."

"I thought you barely slept last night," Jillian said.

"Not a lot but enough to have one dream. Remember talking to me about the Ancients sometime around 3am?"

"No," she admitted, "But I'm sure we did if you say so. Why do you say it was more of a vision?"

"It happened just as I woke up, right before we heard JD, right before you woke up." He started to get anxious so he began speaking more quickly, hands moving, "Not a dream. Not a hallucination. It definitely was not my own subconscious inflicting wishful thinking on me. But because of the content I think it might seem that way so I want to get that clear up front. It's not someone playing tricks on me. I mean, I've dealt with memory stamps, nanites, hallucinogenic –"

"Yeah, yeah," Cam interrupted in his soft drawl, "Mind-fucked six ways from Sunday. What did you _see_?"

It took Daniel another few seconds to derail the long defense he had planned and Cameron had effortlessly waved aside. "Okay," he said, gathering thoughts, "I saw a small trunk or chest, like a pirate chest in a way; and when the lid opened, light blazed out of it, some kind of energy, very powerful but not deadly. I wasn't afraid. Then there was an image of a mountain exploding." He held up his hands to hold off the questions that were about to follow the shocked noises. "I know that sounds bad but I'm absolutely sure it wasn't our mountain, and it didn't blow up because the box was opened, someone deliberately, I don't know, set a charge or something to destroy it. I get the sense the ark was hidden but not destroyed. I'm not sure it can be destroyed."

"Ark?" Teal'c repeated, "As in Indiana Jones?"

"Not the ark of the covenant," Daniel said. "Not the Biblical one but if the vision was accurate this chest could certainly be a precursor to it. Historically the Egyptians, the Phoenicians, the Samothracians and a whole host of other cultures have had their sacred chests, usually carried from place to place on the shoulders of slaves – " He stopped and took a breath, stopping himself before someone else did. "No, Teal'c, not the Indiana Jones one."

"Is this a problem?" Cameron asked.

"No!" Daniel said, "I think it's the solution. Jill, I think the conversation we had in the middle of the night triggered a memory. I think this is it, the solution we've been looking for. I have something to work with now." He had been in his office pouring over books and scrolls; pushing his mainframe to crashing. "We need to go to Dakara."

The other occupants of the room glanced at each other but Daniel didn't notice. His focus had turned inward again. "I have to call Jack," he said and turned and ran back down the stairs.

A long silence followed his exit, broken only by JD happily chattering at Cam and Teal'c about trains.

"Well," Sam said, finally, "I guess we're heading for Dakara."

(0)

Jack's phone rang as he was heading out the door of his Pentagon office on his way to a meeting at the White House. He flipped the phone open.

"Yeah, Daniel?" He said.

"I think I found the answer, another weapon," Daniel said.

"Another Ancient weapon?"

"Yes."

Daniel launched into an explanation as Jack left the office, waved a casual goodbye to his staff, and made his way out to the parking lot where his car and driver were waiting.

"Ark?" he repeated, as he turned and crossed the distance to the car. Briefly shouldering the phone, he took the coffee his driver held out for him. "OK." He tossed his briefcase into the backseat and followed it. "As in Noah and the?"

There was an aggravated sigh and then Daniel said, "No not as in Noah, or Indiana Jones. Jack, this is the solution. Whatever this thing does, it's the weapon we need against the Priors."

The driver pulled away from the curb and maneuvered smoothly into the thickening traffic on the avenue, other cars and other drivers, other people in suits on the phone in the backseats of black sedans and minivans full of tourists. To anyone peering through the tinted window, Jack would seem to be listening to a caller going on and on, patiently holding the phone to his ear, drinking coffee through the opening in the plastic lid of a paper coffee cup.

Jack was listening to the echo of Daniel's voice. He was an audio expert when it came to listening to Daniel speak, all the times he had cut the man off cold notwithstanding. He was listening to the way the words tumbled over themselves to get out, the consonants rushed or dropped altogether, the mix of headlong, oblivious stuttering boyishness and mature, rich, intellectual excitement. He compared it to the other echoes in his head, compared _Jack, this is the solution_ to echoes from over the decade previous: _That's it! That's what we're looking for! I knew they'd have it written down someplace; This could be the key to understanding our existence - everyone, everything's existence _and _I think the monument contains a repository of the Ancients_ and _Jack, think about it: with a fully functional ZPM, we could power Earth's defenses and open up a wormhole to the Pegasus Galaxy._

Jack knew the sound. He'd heard it before. This was the Daniel who fumbled and stuttered to explain the symbol of origin to a roomful of people who hadn't a chance of understanding him; the Daniel who couldn't wait until an 0900 briefing but followed him into a men's room at 0855 to announce that they'd found Kheb, the Daniel who called him from the frozen bottom of the world to tell him he'd figured out the gate address for Atlantis.

Daniel's vision sent the hair on the back of his neck standing up. This was Daniel hyped up on new information, tweaking on the exhilaration of discovery and wild to start exploring and needing to begin five minutes ago. This was the Daniel who figured out the gate symbols, the Daniel who gave his all in the search for his wife, the Harsesis, the Lost City. This was the Daniel who would not be denied until he had what he wanted.

"Look," Jack said, "I can't get you cleared for Dakara right now."

"Why not?"

"Because in case you've forgotten we kind of _lost Atlantis_ again and I'm on the way to the White House to try to explain it to Hayes!"

There was a long pause and then a heavy sigh. "Okay, yeah. That's the bigger problem at the moment. You're going to need Sam at some point."

"Damn straight I am," Jack said, "So you do what you can to find some solid evidence of this so we all don't look stupid-"

"You don't believe me," Daniel sounded stunned.

"_I_ believe you," Jack said, "But I'm not sure it's enough. I'd also like to have some idea what this thing is or does before we go opening it up. So take a few days and do all that research you do so well and I'll get back to you."

"You can't make something happen sooner?" Daniel asked, hopefully.

"I'm not the Wizard of Oz, Daniel. I'm the man behind the curtain."

"Even if I promise to bring you the broomstick of the wicked witch?"

"That was a suicide mission," Jack snapped. "I don't do those anymore; and I don't order people to go on them unless I have _absolutely no other choice_."

"Sorry," Daniel said, quickly, knowing he'd crossed a line.

Jack took a breath and then said, "We'll send Teal'c to get permission for the Dakara thing. Even shot all to hell that place is sacred to the Jaffa and we don't need to rock that boat any more than it already is. You research, Sam will help me with Atlantis, Teal'c will pave the way for Dakara and we'll send Mitchell and Mal Doran anywhere else you think might be worth looking. Okay?"

Jack knew it wasn't enough. Daniel was ready to dial the Gate immediately, but he was the only one who even knew what this ark looked like.

"Daniel," Jack said, patiently, "Can we _not_ do this right now? Let's just say I'm right and move on?"

Reluctance was prominent in his answer, "Yeah. All right. But let me know if I can help with Atlantis."

"It's not really a problem of history or linguistics, Daniel. The damned thing has gone Jupiter Two."

"What?"

"Lost in Space."

"I know but what has that got to do with Jupiter?"

"It was a TVs show in the early sixties."

"I wasn't born then!"

"It was in reruns!"

"I never saw it! We didn't have TV on the dig sites!"

"All right, fine! I'll keep you posted about Atlantis." Jack's car was pulling into the White House Security checkpoint. He rolled down the window and flashed his ID. The guard waved them through and the car began to move again. "I gotta go."

"Yeah," Daniel answered, "But this is it, Jack. I can figure this out. We're going to be okay."

Jack knew what Daniel needed. He needed Jack's support even in the face of underwhelming evidence. He needed Jack's faith in him. He put as much certainty in his answer as he could. "Okay, Daniel. Yeah," he said, "We're going to be fine."

(0)


	318. Chapter 318

Jillian sang in the shower. She'd been doing it since he'd first been in the same house with her when she showered. Since JD had been born she sang around the house a lot now too. Daniel loved to hear her sing.

At the moment he was shaving while she finished showering and she was singing Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_, which she was going to be singing later in the day when Annie walked down the aisle to marry Scotty.

"You don't have to keep practicing that," he remarked, wiping steam off the mirror. "It's already beautiful every time you do."

"I hope so," she answered, shutting off the water and reaching out for a towel.

"You knew he was going to ask you to sing at the wedding. He sang at ours."

"I know," she said. "I just want to get it right for him."

"Can I say something without getting into trouble?"

She laughed a little as she wrapped the towel around her. "Okay, today you get a pass. What?"

"I don't remember Scotty singing at our wedding," he admitted with a wry smile, "I know he did and I'm sure it was perfect and I'm sure the guests loved it. But the moment I saw you, I couldn't see or hear or experience anything else. There was _nothing_ for me but you. Even if I didn't have our wedding picture on my desk, I'd remember every moment of you on our wedding day. You were – I mean you_ are_ still but right then on that day you were– the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. What I'm trying to say here is that I know you're going to sing that song so wonderfully that the guests will be in tears. But Scotty is just as in love with Annie as I am with you and I bet the same thing is going to happen. I bet he'll see Annie and forget that every other occupant of the room will disappear. So sing for me, or for the guests, or for the moment. But don't worry about Scott. You already made him happy by agreeing to do it."

Tears had misted her eyes by the time he was done. She stood on tiptoe, put her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly on the lips.

They didn't say too much more as they dressed for the wedding. Daniel was wearing a pair of beige trousers and a bright fuchsia floral print short sleeved shirt, which had him grumbling.

"Who decided to have a Hawaiian themed wedding in March in Colorado?"

"Annie is Hawaiian, Daniel," Jillian pointed out. She was brushing imaginary wrinkles out of her knee-length fuchsia halter dress. The dress was chiffon over loose satin and shockingly comfortable. It had been designed for her and she really did love it; though she was worried about the shoes that went with it. Her feet hurt all the time and this wasn't going to help. They were low and as comfortable as possible, but still. She sighed and turned to look at Daniel.

He looked gorgeous. The short sleeves let him show off his powerful arms in ways his usual bulky sweaters and oversized BDU jackets didn't. He didn't usually wear bright colors but this shirt emphasized his Nordic good looks – the dark blond hair and blue eyes and the breadth of his shoulders. She loved him in suits because of the way they shaped his beautiful male body. But she was quickly thinking this was also a very good look for him. She was sweeping him with appreciative looks when he said, frowning, "I'm freezing."

Jillian picked up her shoes in one hand and slipped the other one through his arm. "You look amazing and I love you. I'll keep you warm."

He looked slightly mollified.

They went out into their living room, where Jett and his caregiver, Emily, were playing with JD. Jillian gave them some last minute instructions about bedtime and where things were and Daniel double checked the cell phone numbers they had written down by the phone in the kitchen.

They gave JD and Jett hugs and kisses goodbye and left for their respective wedding party meeting places. The men were all meeting at Rusty's, since he was the Best Man. The women were all going to the new house Scott and Annie had just purchased.

Daniel dropped Jillian off at the house, kissed her goodbye at the door and said, "I'll see you at the Chapel. I love you. Don't be nervous. Your voice is gorgeous and it's an easy song for you."

"I just don't want to start crying in the middle of it," she admitted.

"I know. I'm happy for them too." They kissed again and Daniel went back to the car as Jillian rang the bell and then walked in calling for Annie.

(0)

It was one of the most colorful weddings any of them had ever attended. There were no dark tuxes or somber grays and blacks on this day. The bridesmaids all wore slightly different dresses in the jeweled tones of Hawaiian flowers; Jillian in fuchsia, Sam in vivid royal blue, Vala in bright red (and yes, Vala had somehow wound up _in _the wedding), Annie's cousin Malie was in deep purple and Scotty's sister Abby– the maid of honor – was in leaf green. Their attendants were all in matching shirts and beige pants. Everyone, even the guests, wore casual clothes and long flower leis. The flowers were all tropical and their scent filled the small Chapel. The music was instrumental, except for Jillian's song and was supplied by guitars and ukuleles.

Annie was resplendent in a long, white gown with spaghetti straps and a definite Hawaiian feel.

Scott and Annie had chosen to write their own vows, separately. Annie, her voice shaking, told Scott, "You have been my best friend, mentor, playmate, confidant and my greatest challenge. But most importantly, you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever thought possible... You have made me a better person, as our love for one another is reflected in the way I live my life. So I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together. Mostly, I promise to celebrate with you when the LA Kings win and comfort you when they lose."

The first part had everyone reaching for tissues. The last had them laughing through tears.

Scott held Annie's hand tightly and told her, "I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you. I get to say all this to _you_. You know me better than anyone else in this world and somehow still you manage to love me. You are my best friend and one true love. There is still a part of me today that cannot believe that I'm the one who gets to marry you."

The Chaplain, who was from the SGC and knew what they did for a living and how they had met, said a prayer over them and then added, "Scott and Anani, you have come here today to start your life together, but there is more than that to this joining and to this gathering. Your love and your willingness to commit your lives to each other reminds all of us that there _is _a future worth fighting for, worth planning for. In spite of the trials and challenges, your love is a reaffirmation of hope and faith. Be strong together and never forget what we're fighting to protect."

For the wedding guests who didn't have the highest security clearances in the land, it was a stirring speech. For the rest, it was so much more.

They were pronounced husband and wife and told to kiss and when they did, the assembly of friends and family clapped and cheered.

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	319. Chapter 319

Sweeping Jillian over the dance floor at the reception, Scotty remarked, "I guess we could have waited until June and had the whole thing outside."

"Oh right," Jillian said, drily, "Wait until I'm 8 months pregnant and can barely stand much less dance with you. Besides, did you really want to wait 3 more months before marrying Annie?"

"I didn't want to wait three more minutes!" Scott laughed. "I'd have married her at O'Malley's right after I proposed if we'd been able to find a preacher."

Jillian smiled at him affectionately, "It turned out beautifully, Scott. The weather held and I think only Daniel is actually freezing. But he's freezing when it's 90 degrees out so he doesn't count."

The hall they had rented was done up to look like a Hawaiian beach at dusk. There was even a moving sunset ocean scene being projected on the wall behind the Bridal table. The ceiling was covered in gauzy fabric decorated with stars. The guests were seated luau-styles, at low tables and the food was classic to any genuine Hawaiian luau.

It was impossible not to have a great time at this party. Scott and Annie were so in love that it was infectious. From the moment they had walked in and danced their first dance while Jillian sang Unforgettable, the room had radiated joy. Jillian had finished the song and the DJ had switched up to Sugar Pie Honey Bunch as she walked into Daniel's arms as the Bridal Party joined Scott and Annie on the dance floor.

There was a constant hum of voices and laughter. The dance floor was almost always full. The music was deliberately lively because nothing else would fit the mood. At the moment, Sam was sitting on the floor at one of the tables with Jack, Cameron and Vala, but it was almost the first time all night they had sat down.

Scott maneuvered her deliberately to where Daniel was dancing with Abby. Scott's sister had been born with Downs' Syndrome but it had never slowed her down. She was an absolute delight, with boundless energy and adored her brother. It was probable that she had danced with every guy in the room already. Jillian had watched Daniel dancing with Abby and seen a rare glimpse of the kind, almost innocent man he had been when they met. It was comforting to know that man still existed under the weight of Daniel's guilty anger, under the skepticism and sarcasm that had developed after a decade of fighting enemies on a grand scale.

"Can I swap you your wife for my sister, Dr. Jackson?" Scott asked.

"I don't think so, Scotty," Abby said, "Daniel is way cuter than you."

"Daniel is also married," Scotty pointed out, trying not to laugh.

"Oh fine," she huffed as Scott stepped aside to let Jillian move into Daniel's arms.

She was still huffing as Scotty drifted away with her, laughing at her. Daniel slowed the steps he had been doing until he and Jillian were doing little more than swaying in each other's arms.

"Do you need to go sit down?" He asked, "You've been on your feet a lot."

"I've also hardly seen you all night. Let's just do this for a moment," she answered.

"Did you call home?" Daniel asked.

"A little bit ago," she answered, "They're watching a movie. Turns out Jack had called about five minutes before me." She gave a contented sigh and put her head on his shoulder.

They swayed in silence for a few more minutes before Daniel said, "That speech Fr. Franklin gave at the end of the ceremony? Did you listen to all of it? I mean, really listen?"

"Yes," she said, without looking up.

"Do you believe it? That we have to keep moving forward to prove how worthwhile this all is?"

"No," she said, "We don't have to prove that it's worthwhile, Daniel. It just _is."_

She felt him tense for a moment and knew that was going to mean an argument. But in the next second he relaxed again, bent a little and put his face in her hair. "Yeah," he breathed, "It really is, huh?"

His lips brushed hers, softly, carefully, mindful that they were public. His fingers trailed down the valley of her spine to the small of her back and urged her closer. The swell between her hips pressed against him and he stopped, just holding her with their child cradled safely between them. Jillian's heart ached with flooding emotions, with pleasure and passion.

And with love. Oh, god yes, the _love._

Jillian knew it was only a matter of time before Daniel was out in the galaxy again searching for the ark of his vision. They'd waited until Sam had come back from Atlantis and then they had waited for this wedding. It had been a welcome break, a chance to breathe and enjoy their friends and family. But there was nothing to hold Daniel now. A new search would take him away again, put him at risk again, start it all over again even if Daniel found a way to end it too.

And Jillian would let him go. Daniel would find the thing that would save them all. Of that she had no doubt; whether he dug it out of the ground on some unthinkably distant world, or from the knowledge in his own precious head.

Whether he broke his body looking, or his soul, or Jillian's heart.

The music ended and the DJ called the Bridal Party to gather for the cutting of the cake. Daniel squeezed Jillian's hand. She squeezed back and smiled at him.

"I love you," she said, "Te adoro, Daniel."

"Te adoro, carida," he murmured back.

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	320. Chapter 320

Daniel's decision to be on the Odyssey for its trip to the Othala galaxy was making Jillian miserable and Daniel feeling like the worst husband in the known world. It would take weeks to get there and weeks to get back. Jillian would be almost thirty weeks pregnant by the time he returned.

He understood that she was miserable, but what was making it worse was her stoic willingness to accept his decision and let him go.

"Military wives do this kind of thing all the time, Daniel," she said.

"We're not military," Daniel pointed out.

"No, but it's the world we've lived in for the past decade. We work beside all these people as equals. We can't expect to never suffer the same real life issues they deal with as common place. Mal was serving in Desert Storm when his first son was born. David was six months old before Mal saw him for the first time. Rusty got home two days before Kevin was born. By the time you get back from this, we'll still have ten weeks before Katie makes her arrival. That's quite a margin for error."

Daniel had winced. "I don't want to hear 'margin of error' used in connection to the birth of our daughter, Jill."

"But you're still going."

"If it wasn't for the Asgard we wouldn't be standing here talking about our daughter being born," Daniel reminded her gently. "If the High Council wants to talk to me then I should go find out why. Maybe they know how to stop the Ori."

Privately Jillian thought that the Asgard had given Daniel his wish for children because of everything Daniel had already done for them. But he had a soft spot for the Asgard. He considered them Earth's best allies and if they wanted him, he would go.

"I know," she said, "and I know that's why you have to go. I'll be fine. My whole team is here – well, not Scotty, he's still in Tahiti on his honeymoon. But he'll be back and you've trusted me off world with this team for over a decade. They'll take care of me for the time you're gone. I can even get Dad to come stay at the house. He did it before."

Daniel looked at her over the top of his glasses and was abjectly contrite. He'd been gone and she had been pregnant that time too. If he mentioned that she'd start on the whole military issue again and he didn't want to go down that road one more time because she had a point and he actually hated it when she had a point.

Even when she was supporting what he wanted to do anyway.

Jillian reached over to him and took his glasses off. She got a tissue from the box on the desk and polished away a smudge. He watched her in silence, grateful that she was sitting so close to him, still in the range of his limited sight. She was wearing a light caramel colored t-shirt that draped over her breasts and whispered over her hips and the evident swell between them. Her hair fell in a glorious mass, an iridescent dance of flame and cinnamon, sunshine and autumn.

He was shaking with the force of how much he loved her when she came back and settled his glasses back in place. He wrinkled his nose to settle them and reached out to pull her across the short space between them. She sank into his lap and he put his arms around her. She linked her arms around his neck.

"Did I ever tell you that I love your new glasses?"

"You've always liked me in glasses."

"I like these better. They make you look older, sexier."

Jillian was looking into his eyes and he felt his heart turn over in a reckless somersault. Her sun-dappled forest eyes went straight to his soul. She reached out to cup his face in the palms of her hands, pulled his lips to hers and opened her mouth.

Daniel knew the lore surrounding redheads. He knew that they had always been said to process pain differently. He had mentioned it once to Sam and she had pointed him to an article in one of her scientific journals that bore that out. It seemed that redheads possessed a gene that gifted them with a much higher pain thresh-hold than others. It meant, pretty much, that anyone intending to hurt a redhead had to put more force into it than with a blond or a brunette.

On the other hand, redheads bruised more easily, so it showed much faster.

Daniel wondered, as they kissed with fierce passion and relentless devotion in the shelter of his home office, if that was true of Jillian's soul as well. She was strong, stronger than anyone he knew, outside of the members of his team. But he wondered, if he could see a physical incarnation of her soul, would the bruises show?

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	321. Chapter 321

**This is the final tag to Unending, which of course, unfortunately, makes Sunshine and Shadow (and the other storylines that branch from it) an AU. Until THIS, the very last episode, it was possible to keep Jillian off screen and canon to the series as we know it. But because of events in Unending that don't even actually ever happen, that is no longer possible. There is no way the Daniel Jackson I know would cheat on his wife. (In canon this episode is an absolute mess but I won't go into that here.) This is the only tag I will be writing for it and it is rather ambiguous. Read it whatever way makes you happy.**

**(0)**

It was, he knew, the last time he would stand at this console, like this. He had been coming here daily for fifty years, as faithful as any acolyte, to worship at the altar of the Asgard knowledge. He had now spent most of his lifetime absorbing the data. He knew the full history of their race as well as the history of the Ancients. He knew the story of the Four Races. He now knew who and what the Furlings were and where they could be found. He knew everything it was possible for one human mind to absorb from what the Asgard left; yet it wasn't enough.

It wasn't enough to save them from the Ori, and it wasn't enough to satisfy him. He'd learned the hard way that it didn't mean anything, because he didn't have anyone to share it with.

He'd had hallucinations about her countless times: in the halls, in his dreams and sometimes while standing at this very console with limitless knowledge swirling around him. He'd be hypnotized into believing that her scent was hanging in the air, hear her voice calling him. The wrong words or sound could send him falling into memory, surrounded by it. His wife who was his life; his son who was his image, almost his mirror except for hair that was lit with copper and eyes the same dark green as his mother's. It was harder to imagine the daughter who hadn't even been born yet, but he had tried, every day, for fifty years.

It was a trick of perception that had kept his family alive and real to him for all that time. He ached with gratitude for those times even as he grieved anew when those dreams had ended and he was plunged back into loneliness.

Now it would be over. The person he was now, holding all this knowledge was going to die. He was certainly familiar with death and had defeated it in the past but this would be permanent. This self with _these_ memories would die to give his younger self back to his family; to reclaim Jillian and JD and Katie and all the life he had been forced to leave behind.

He's ready. More than ready. Because now he can spend another lifetime learning it all over again with Jillian. The knowledge would remain and if he had absorbed it once he could do it again and faster because now he would have someone to share it with.

His thoughts were interrupted and he turned towards the door. It was Sam. There was a limited number of people it _could_ be. But he knew her footsteps, more beloved now than ever. Sam, their savior, who was not only sending them home but _back_ to exactly the way it had been.

Sam walked up and slipped her arm through his, leaned against him."You ready?"

"Yes," he said.

Sam gestured at the hovering images. "It was always about this," she said, "about bringing this back to Earth. This was the mission. This was the objective."

"You never lost sight of that, Sam," Daniel said, even though he knew there were other reasons. They had all wanted to get back to the ones they loved. "Never got distracted from it, not once."

She smiled, leaned a little closer. "Some things were distracting," she said, lightly. "Couldn't have done any of this without you."

He smiled back at her fondly and pressed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

Sam let go of his arm and took his hand and tugged him towards the door.

"Sam, wait," Daniel said. He cupped her face for a moment and then pulled her into his arms. "I was thinking that, in one of those countless multiverses we know are out there, this…_us…_we happened too."

She smiled and kissed the corner of his mouth. "Yep," she said, smiling softly, "and I bet it was really, _really_ great. Come on. She's waiting for you."

"And _he's_ waiting for you," Daniel said.

"We've all been waiting long enough. Let's go home."

They moved with certainty out the doorway, leaving the soft glow of the display hanging in the empty space behind them

(0)


	322. Chapter 322

**Starting tags to Ark of the Truth. There isn't too much to do with the movie as a whole – as far as missing scenes, etc. It's paced pretty well. But there are some things at the end that are confusing. How did Daniel get to the SGC with the ark so fast? Just how fast IS the Odyssey anyway. It isn't the first time the writers ignored the practical facts of space travel. Fan Fiction exists to fix these things. I am combining Daniel and Jillian's story with Jack and Sam's in these chapters so they will be cross posted with Moonlight and Steel.  
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**(0)**

Jack stared into the Control room monitor at Sam's beloved face and hung on every word of her report.

"The replicators did considerable damage to the ship, sir. We're through the Super Gate and making our best speed to Earth but it's nowhere near what this ship can usually do in hyper drive. The beaming system has been taken offline for repairs and wouldn't make it across this distance even if we wanted it to."

"There are seven Ori ships in orbit around Earth, Colonel," Jack said, pointedly, "and the weapon that can stop them is on that ship."

Sam digested that information with a grim expression. "I understand, sir, but-"

"I can come to you," Jack cut her off and watched as she processed that for a moment, watched her get it.

"The _Jarrett,"_ she breathed in relief. Her eyes locked with Jack's, shining with warmth and affection, but composed, professional. "You can meet us out here within a few hours and get back to Earth just as quickly."

"It's a fast ship," Jack said, with a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Can make the Kessel run in 12 parsecs."

Sam made a wry face and shook her head a little at his sarcasm. But she said, "Take it. You've got all the access codes. Once you're in space we'll set up a rendezvous point. The ark will be ready. We've got some badly injured people that should be taken with you too."

"I'll bring along some help," Jack answered.

"I'll make sure everything is ready."

"I know you will," Jack said, then softly he added. "Sam?"

"Yes, sir?"

"When we pull this off," he said, slowly, "the war will be over. All this… It will. Be. _Over_."

It took a little longer to process that very personal message, despite the risky, intense, loaded look in Jack's eyes. She was dealing with a crisis on a ship that was being held together with duct tape and wire, whose commander was still in surgery, placing everything on her shoulders. But when she got what Jack was trying to say she inhaled a little. Her eyes grew wide and then she smiled. "Yes, sir," she said.

The Bridge behind Sam was a hive of activity, voices, repairs, machinery and consoles humming and sparking. The Control Room around Jack was the same – reports, orders, machinery clicking. But it was as if they had momentarily stepped into a private bubble, shielded from the chaos, where nothing existed but the two of them.

"It was close, sir." There was the slightest quaver in her voice; a hint of tears in her eyes.

"I know."

"But we got up. We all got up."

"Yeah," Jack said. He was shaking too, overwhelmed with relief and pride and love. "You did. But I never doubted that you would."

They stayed in that bubble for perhaps a little longer than was entirely safe and it was Sam who switched back first. "I'll send our flight plan and trajectory to the navigation system on the _Jarrett._ You should have everything you need on board already."

"I'll contact you as soon as we break orbit," Jack said.

"Roger that," she answered.

"Out," Jack said and they broke the connection.

Landry came out of his office, having given the President word that they had found the ark and it was being brought to Earth ASAP.

"What did he say?" Jack asked.

"Keep sending groups to the other sites just in case. Let him know as soon as the weapon arrives. He wants to talk to you too," Hank answered.

Jack's expression turned grim, "I want to talk to him too. This IOA thing has gotten out of hand. There's no way in hell I'm letting them pick Weir's successor now. But right now I have to go pick up an ark."

"What do you need?" Hank asked.

"I need medical personal, engineers, technicians, anyone who can help get the _Odyssey_ back up to speed while it's still in flight. I can take as many as fifty."

"You got it, but can I ask what exactly you plan taking them _on_?"

"I got a friend with a starship, gonna let me use it."

Hank eyed him curiously, "You've got some powerful friends, Jack."

O'Neill nodded. "And some incredibly talented ones. Oh! One more thing. Is Jillian on the Base?"

"Yes," Hank said, "We sent her father and her son through with the first group of people to the Delta site, but she refused to go."

Jack wasn't the least surprised. "Can you get her to come up here? I want her to come along."

"Walter!" Landry called.

"Already on it, sir!"

Hank shrugged at Jack. "He's already on it."

"Some things," Jack said, gladly, "never change."

(0)

Jillian looked twice as pregnant as she had the last time Jack had seen her. Still, he wasn't taking her into combat and after what Daniel had just gone through to attain their salvation, he was pretty sure the guy wouldn't mind seeing his wife much earlier than he had anticipated. He was taking a whole complement of medical personnel and Jillian would be on a state of the art starship.

Besides, there were seven Ori ships in orbit around Earth that might just decide to open fire before the _Jarrrett O'Neill_ could get them back with the ark. In that event, Jillian was safer with Jack, several million light years from that.

Daniel might yell at him, but he'd probably be grateful underneath all the hollering and that was all that mattered.

Jillian didn't hesitate to say yes. She said it even before Jack had finished speaking. "Yes. When do we leave?"

"Half hour," Jack said, "I want everyone assembled in the Gate Room for beam out to the _Jarrett."_

"I'll be there," she promised.

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	323. Chapter 323

There was an observation window above the flight deck that enabled Sam to watch the _Jarrett O'Neill _come in for a perfect landing. Jack brought the ship in from space and set it down like a swan lighting on a lake. Sam smiled in spite of the situation. Yes, the ship handled like a dream and it was her first most beloved nonorganic thing in the world – after Jack and Jett and her team and her family.

But it was still awesome to watch Jack O'Neill at the controls of anything that flew.

The warning lights along the sides of the docking bay doors changed from red to green as the bay pressurized. The moment the 'all clear' alarm sounded, ramps came down from all sides of the _Jarrett O'Neill_ and personnel began pouring out of it like ants from a disturbed nest. At the same time, Sam could feel the rumble in the floor as the door below her opened up to let the _Odyssey _personnel into the bay.

It wasn't hard to pick out Jack, though Sam thought she'd been seeking him out for so long that it was automatic at this point.

He came striding down a forward ramp with an ease of motion given to him by his new right knee. She knew from experience that his movement was virtually silent. The idea that a man that tall, that athletic, could move with that much silence and grace should be unnerving. Instead it made her pulse beat harder.

Drawn to her in much the same way, Jack looked up at the window. Their eyes met and she couldn't quite stop the brilliant smile that she gave him. His eyebrows lifted and she caught the welcoming twinkle in his eye just before she turned to leave the room. She attempted a dignified pace through the busy corridor, but the stairs to the docking bay were deserted and Sam fairly flew in her eagerness to see Jack again.

(0)

Daniel came through the door first, saw Jack and headed for him. There were four Marines behind him, pushing a metal cart that held the long coveted Ark of Truth. They stopped inches from each other as the Marines went passed them to the cargo hold of the ship, looking at each other – Daniel in weary triumph and Jack in deep concern. Daniel looked punch drunk but still on his feet, still determined to go the next round before leaving the ring.

Jack put a hand on Daniel's shoulder and let it rest there lightly. Touch was how Jack O'Neil processed his world. He wasn't ever certain about the survival of any of his team until he had a hand on them somehow.

"Walked straight into the lion's den this time, didn't you?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," Daniel smiled in a tired, self-deprecating way. "Walked out again though."

"I never doubted you would," Jack said. He let his hand fall away.

Daniel nodded in the direction of the Ark. "You got my report about how to operate that?"

"Yes."

"You know how to turn it on?"

"Yes. You made a diagram and everything. I could handle it, Daniel. But you did all the work. You get to save the planet."

Daniel closed his eyes. "It's not that. But if I know someone I trust also knows how to make it work, I might just collapse for a while."

Jack's eyebrows crinkled in concern but he knew better than to fuss over Daniel. "I got it," he said, because that was the only kind of reassurance Daniel wanted.

For about another three seconds, Daniel resisted handing over the burden he had been carrying for months. Then he slumped so badly Jack reached out a hand in case he had to catch him.

"Hey," Jack said.

Daniel looked up but a movement behind Jack caught his attention. His entire demeanor changed as his gaze fell on Jillian. He straightened up and an expression of astonishment appeared on his face.

"Oh yeah," Jack said, casually, "I brought Jillian with me."

In a deadpan voice, with no hint of emotion, Daniel said, "You brought my pregnant wife millions of light years from home?"

For another instant Jack wasn't sure how to read Daniel's reaction. Gearing up for a fight he said, "Yeah."

Daniel exhaled. His face crumbled with something near tears. His voice shook in the way it did when he had been hanging by a thread and then realized he was suddenly and shockingly safe. "Thank you," he choked out.

Then he was running towards Jillian and Jack watched him go and said, quietly, "You're welcome."

(0)

Daniel ran. Jillian had reached the point where any sudden or swift movement could throw her off balance, so her steps towards him were more measured, if no less anxious.

He closed the distance between them and wrapped her tightly in his arms. Jillian let out a soft _oh god_ and melted into embrace. It was awkward trying to hold her as tightly as he wanted, but Daniel got an arm around her waist anyway, one hand on her head, fingers threaded into her hair, his face buried against her neck and shoulder.

In the way his body desperately sought to fit against hers, Jillian could feel all the things that had been in the reports. The joints and tendons strained from being hauled around half-conscious, chest and ribs bruised, the aching hip and knee from being thrown onto a stone cell floor, the near-dislocated shoulder that somehow hadn't broken when he had been flung against a wall; the deeper, lingering quiver in soft tissue, the sick resonance left behind by pain delivered on a cellular level, the clinging hum of torture deep in his soul. It ebbed, some, as she pulled Daniel close.

"Jill," he gasped, shifting her even closer, breathing her, feeling her, with no intention of letting go until he began to believe that she was really here.

"It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay. You did it, Daniel. You did it."

Jillian kept holding him, grounding him, until she couldn't feel him shaking anymore, until the tension had gone from Daniel's shoulders and back, until her own heart had stopped thundering against her ribs.

"Where's JD?" He asked, his voice muffled in her hair, soft in her ear.

"He went to the Delta site with my dad in the first group that was evacuated."

"So now we have to explain to him about the Stargate?"

"He's two, Daniel. He won't remember it."

They had started swaying, as if they were dancing. "I'll go get him, when it's all over, when it's safe again."

Jillian clutched at him. "No," she said, "Please don't leave me again. Just let Dad bring him home."

Daniel leaned back to look at her and his eyes darkened with surprise. He put a gentle hand under her chin and lifted her face to his. "Okay," he said and then he leaned in. Her eyes slid closed as his lips touched hers, brushed hers, breathed, pressed a little closer. Her lips parted, her mouth opened under his. For a long time there was nothing but their kiss - warm lips, wet tongue, hungry possessiveness, stunned relief, melting tenderness.

When they finally separated Jillian looked dizzy and on the verge of tears.

"Don't cry," he said, anxiously.

She laughed softly and rested her forehead against his chest. "You should recognize happy tears by now."

"Just making sure," Daniel said. He smiled at her, stroked fingers down her cheek and hooked her loose hair behind her ear. Let's go home, Jill. Let's be done with the Ori, once and for all."

Jillian nodded but couldn't speak. Daniel stopped her by pulling her forward for another kiss with a promise of forever in it.

(0)

Jack couldn't run to Sam when he saw her. He wanted to, but he was hemmed in by the oncoming tide of people and things going back to Earth on the _Jarrett O'Neill_. When the space between them was finally eradicated, he shocked the hell out of her by wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in.

Sam stiffened in shock and then tried to make it something professional, a quick squeeze around his waist, catch-and-release, the relieved reunion of two people who had served together for a long time. But Jack only pulled her in closer and put his face in her hair. She lasted another heartbeat or two and then softened, relaxed in deep gratitude.

Her flight suit smelled of embattled spaceship, the scents of breach sealant and burned circuitry and fire-suppression chemicals that got into stowed gear so that even freshly issued uniforms reeked of damage control. All around them swirled the ordered chaos of new personnel reporting and old personnel getting everything stowed safely on board. Gurneys were being wheeled passed them now and Jack caught a flash of long black hair and knew that Mal Doran was coming along with Mitchell without having to be told.

It was all right. He was prepared to be generous to people who had nearly lost the one they loved. He had been one of them for much too long.

Sam took the opportunity to whisper frustration to him, since his ear was so close. "The IOA screwed this ship, Jack. It's … It's _fucked._"

He cut her off before she could really get started because Sam rarely cursed and when she did it was because she was beyond furious. Sam was articulate and precise and would tell him exactly what systems were in what state. So when she was reduced to single harsh expletives it was better to keep her away from the firearms.

"I know," he said, quickly, "I know and I'll deal with them. I suspect they're already in Hayes' office getting an earful."

"What will happen now?" She came down off the balls of her feet and let go of him, looking up. Jack kept his arms around her, holding a hug that gone way passed blink-worthy and straight into the realm of absurdly extended. "Can you disband them?"

"Probably not, but there's going to be some serious changes in personnel and the 'A' better go back to meaning 'advisory and I'm taking control of Atlantis back. It needs a military commander and that should be obvious at this point to anyone with half a brain cell."

They stood there, staring into each other's eyes with silent conversations about what it meant to command, and what it meant to run an installation like Atlantis, understanding and commiserating at the same time.

"Who do they want to replace Elizabeth?"

"Shen Xiaoyi," Jack answered, shortly.

"What?"

"Yeah."

"Oh my god."

"The Langford-Littlefield Foundation funds over half of the Atlantis project. I can get them to back me on the military thing, especially in light of what the IOA just did here."

"Who do you want to send?" She asked.

They were interrupted briefly by a technician with a requisition form for Sam to sign, accepting the latest shipments of supplies. He didn't so much as twitch, considering that Sam had to turn in the General's arms to sign it. Apparently if Major General Jack O'Neill wanted to hold onto his former 21C, that was pretty much just fine with lowly crewmen.

"Gerald Mallory," Jack answered when the technician walked away. Sam's eyebrows went up. But Jack went on, "He's been promoted to Brigadier General, he's got ten years' experience off world, a solid head on his shoulders, kept his team safe all that time."

"Makes sense," Sam said. She hesitated a moment and then said, "What about us? You understand what this means?"

"It means it didn't last the rest of our lives. We held on and it paid off. We can start making plans, revisit some options we had to abandon." He leaned forward against her head. "We can take a breath for a moment."

He was so close he felt her smile, more than saw it. "You can fix your other knee."

"That too, I guess."

"You better. I can tell how hard it is for you to get around on it now, comparing it to how you move the new one; and I want you to be able to dance with me at our wedding."

Now Jack leaned back sharply and it was his eyebrows that climbed. "Wedding huh?"

"Yeah," she said, softly. "Once this is done, once Daniel topples one more set of false gods, a wedding better be one of the things you intend for us to start planning."

Jack knew he was looking at her with uncensored goofy adoration and for the first time in a very very long time, _he just did not care_ who saw it.

He squeezed her one more time and then let go. "We've got some paperwork to finish so I can take Daniel to slay one more dragon. Then we'll plan whatever you want."

(0)

An hour later Sam was back at the window watching the _Jarrett O'Neill _smoothly lift off from the flight deck. The ship turned gracefully and sailed out into the blackness beyond. Sam watched it until it was just a sliver of metal and saw the flash that told her they had jumped into hyperspace.

"Go get 'em, Daniel," she said, quietly. She hit the comm unit for the Bridge and told them, "Make the jump whenever you're ready." A moment later she felt the lurch in the floor that told her they had jumped as well. "All right," she murmured with satisfaction. "Let's go home."

(0)


	324. Chapter 324

**The Ori are defeated and the SGC gets to have a few months of domestic tranquility. SG-1 gets a little R & R. They all deserve it. This will be a few chapters of fluff combined with some serious stuff, at least for Sam and Jack.**

**(0)**

"Exactly how many men does it take to put together a toddler bed?" Vala asked. She was walking around the living area of the great room with JD on her hip, listening to him talking about his afternoon at the park the day before while Sam and Jillian got things out of the fridge for the barbecue.

It was the 4th of July, three weeks to the day that the Ori Priors had been shown the truth and had departed the Milky Way for their own galaxy. There was a crowd of people in the Jacksons' backyard and in the pool, on the deck and in the downstairs game room. But there was also a crowd in JD's room because someone had mentioned that his toddler bed was still in the box and that just didn't set well for some of their friends.

"How many are in there?" Jillian asked, with some alarm. JD's room actually wasn't all that big.

"Well, Daniel, Teal'c, Cameron, Scotty, General Mallory, Rusty."

"Mal's in there too?" Jillian asked.

She and Sam opened a bag of tomatoes and started cutting into them into slices.

"Yep," Vala said, spinning around with JD until he laughed. "I think he and Teal'c are taking the crib apart." She went to the breakfast bar and got JD a cube of watermelon that he ate with the juice running down his chin. Vala mopped it up with a napkin from the basket on the counter. Jillian smiled at her indulgently. It wasn't often that Vala's thwarted instincts for mothering came bubbling out. But JD had decided he adored her and Vala had given up resisting.

"I hope they're using tools," Sam commented. Jillian threw another alarmed look at her.

"Teal'c should be able to just pick the crib up and carry it, shouldn't he?" Vala said.

"I don't think it would come through the door. It's on wheels. If we could get it through the door and around the corner into Katie's room Daniel would have done it."

Vala spun around again, this time to look at Jillian. JD giggled nonetheless. "I just realized who you're naming your daughter after," she said, "Catherine Langford."

"Yes," Jillian shrugged as if it was no big secret. "We wouldn't have even met if not for Catherine. Our children wouldn't exist if not for Catherine."

"I suppose." Vala began, pausing to make a silly face at JD while he pulled her hair down over her face. "She'll have your name in the middle, like you did for JD?"

"Yes, Daniel insisted," Jillian sighed.

"And will you call her KJ? Or CJ?"

"We decided to spell it with a 'K', but neither. I've been calling her Katie for months now and Daniel calls her Kitten. I suspect they'll both stick. JD became JD because he's named for two very powerful men and he needs his own identity."

Sam and Vala exchanged a look and then Sam said, "The same can be said of your daughter."

Jillian blushed slightly. "Well, thank you, but I have a hard time imagining anyone calling Catherine Langford 'Katie'."

"I'm sure Katie will fit your daughter perfectly." Vala said.

JD spoke up then. "Mama, I want to go swimming. You can take me to the pool now?"

Jillian inhaled and hesitated, uncertain how to tell her son that she didn't feel very much like getting in the water at the moment.

"I'll take him," Vala said, quickly. She smiled too brightly, wanting to take him and looking as if she expected Jillian to say no.

"Are you sure?" Jillian said.

Vala was already wearing her swimsuit, with a saucy skirt tied around her hips that matched it.

"I'd love to," she said. "JD and I are good friends. Aren't we, JD?"

"Uh-huh," JD said, nodding vigorously. "Bala makes my heart laugh."

Sam and Jillian laughed, and Vala managed to gasp out a little one, though it seemed to the others that her eyes misted a little. "Right, then," she said, swallowing and sniffing. "So I can take you, JD? What do you think?"

"It's all right, JD. You can go with Vala," Jillian said.

"Okay?" Vala asked.

JD nodded. "Okay, Bala take me."

"Is there something that he's supposed to wear in the pool? A swimsuit? Trunks?" Vala asked.

Instead of answering, Jillian called loudly, "Daniel!"

He appeared instantly, as if conjured, coming as far as the entrance into the Great Room and saying, anxiously, "What? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," she said, patiently. "Can you get one of JD's Little Swimmers? Vala wants to take him out to the pool."

Daniel looked hesitant. "You'll keep an eye on him?" he asked Vala pointedly.

"No, Daniel," Vala said, still carrying JD but following Daniel back in the direction of the kids' rooms. "I was planning on getting in the water with your precious son and just ignoring him."

"Don't even joke," Daniel snapped.

"Well give me _some_ credit!"

Their voices faded and Sam shook her head as she poured a glass of strawberry lemonade. "Do you think those two will ever have a different relationship?" she asked.

"I hope not," Jillian answered, with a small affectionate smile. "Daniel never had siblings and he never fell into the habit of fighting with you like one, and he still fights with Jack more like a teenaged son than a brother. But Vala – Vala is the one he argues with like siblings."

Sam grinned back at her. "So why is Daniel acting like he's standing on broken glass with you? You're not due for, what, three weeks?"

Jillian sighed and accepted the glass Sam poured for her. "It's kind of my fault. The last time I went into labor I didn't tell him for like twenty-four hours."

"What? Jillian!" Sam was stunned for a moment, because it just didn't seem like the kind of thing that Jillian would keep from Daniel.

"Well in my own defense I wasn't even sure that's what it was, and it was the middle of the night. Daniel was asleep. I didn't want both of us to be exhausted by the time things got serious."

"Well that makes sense, I guess. But now he's watching you like a hawk in case you do it again?"

"Yes, even though I promised him I wouldn't do it again."

Vala reappeared with JD dressed for the pool and with Daniel chasing after her with a bottle of sunscreen. They vanished out the sliding door onto the deck having an animated conversation about when to reapply it. Daniel came back a little bit later and started for the bedrooms, but then turned around and said, "Jill? You still all right?"

"I'm fine."

"You're sure?"

"My feet hurt. They've hurt for the last three months. I'm hot but that's why I am staying inside in the air conditioning and Sam is keeping me company. Other than that, yes, I'm fine."

"Okay."

"Daniel!"

"How is everything going out there? Do they need anything."

"Nope. Everyone is just having a good time, relaxing."

"Good. Okay. Daniel?"

"What?"

"Is there any chance that toddler bed is going to be together by the time JD needs his afternoon nap?"

"I'm not sure it matters. By the time she gets done wearing him out in the pool and we feed him something, he'll be so tired he'll crash on the first flat surface he's offered."

Jillian took a moment to consider that. "You're probably right. He tends to sleep like his father."

Daniel wrinkled his nose at her in a mock grin. "He's got his mother's temper." He held his finger up, "Do _not_ argue with me about that. Last week he lost his mind because he couldn't get the oven door open. So we got him to calm down, opened it, let him look inside and when we shut it and locked it, he went ballistic for an hour trying to get it open again."

"Oh, I don't know, Daniel," Sam said, "There's a little bit of you in that story. That sounds more like your stubborn determination to get what you want and be a pain in the ass about it until you do."

Jillian choked on the strawberry lemonade she'd been about to swallow. Sam patted her between the shoulder blades. "Oh my god," Jillian said, when she could talk again, "All Daniel's stubbornness and all of my temper? My dear husband, what have we unleashed on the world?"

Daniel looked as solemn as he could and then smiled, in that blinding way that only Daniel could because his smiles were so rare. He walked back across the great room, around the counter and over to Jillian. Putting his arms around her gently, he kissed her ear and said. "I can't wait to find out."

(0)


	325. Chapter 325

Daniel never did make it back into his son's room. Teal'c appeared after a little bit and announced that the crib was up in Katie's room. As Daniel and Jillian thanked him the doorbell rang. Teal'c started for it but before he took two steps it opened and a familiar voice called, "Heard there was a party here. Mind if we stop in?"

"Jack!" Daniel said in the same breath that Teal'c said, "O'Neill."

Jack came walking in carrying a bakery box, Jett bouncing in front of him.

"Sam!" Jett yelled.

Startled to speechlessness, Sam could only cross the room from the kitchen as quickly as possible, resisting the need to vault the counter in her eagerness to get to them. She caught Jett in a fierce hug, resting her cheek on the top of his ruffled head for a moment. Teal'c exchanged a hug with Jack and then moved on to Jett, allowing Sam an uninterrupted moment of pure bliss enfolded in Jack's embrace.

"What are you doing here?" she asked happily, face buried in his t-shirt.

"I told you. We heard there was a party," Jack answered.

Sam looked up and it was then that she saw it. There was something lurking in Jack's eyes, behind the obvious pleasure at being back in their company. "What?" She asked, suddenly anxious.

"Nothing. I had a few things to do at the SGC and while I was there I ran into a few old friends…"

The door – already ajar – pushed open a little farther and Jonas Quinn poked his head in. "Is this the barbecue we were told about?"

"Jonas!" The word was said in overlapping tones of joy and surprise by multiple voices. Sam forgot the shadow in Jack's eyes and untangled from him. She got to Jonas first, tackling him in an exuberant hug. They barely got out of the way for the dark-haired woman and the little girl who were following them.

With one arm around Sam, Jonas said, "You guys remember Ashlen? My wife? And this is Ainsley, our daughter."

There were continued greetings all around: Wow, Jillian, look at you! When are you due? That's close huh? Daniel! Yeah it's good to see you again. Ashlen, welcome to Earth, come in. Teal'c! You haven't changed a bit…

Ainsley, black haired, skin the color of dark toast and huge dark eyes, hung back shyly for a little bit. Daniel said to Jett, "Rusty's boys are downstairs playing video games. You want to take Ainsley and head down and join them? I'm sure they'll be glad to see you."

"Sweet," Jett said. He started for the stairs and then turned and gestured for Ainsley. "Come on. They're just going to do grown-up crap now."

"Jett!" Jack said.

"Sorry!" Jett said, but they were halfway to the stairs and he didn't really sound sorry.

"It seems he inherited your respect for authority," Daniel pointed out.

"His father's son," Sam said, drily. But she let the matter drop by changing the subject. "Jonas, what brings you here? It's not like you could have been in the neighborhood."

"There was a scheduled check-in with the Delta site," Jonas said, "I remembered the date as being the one where we all used to get together somewhere to celebrate, and I haven't seen you for a while. I got permission to come through the Gate while it was still dialed up. General O'Neill was there, as it happened and he brought us here."

"Well, I'm glad he did," Jillian said, "We're about to start tossing food on the grill. I hope you still like cheeseburgers?"

"Really?" Jonas said, happily. "With the special sauce?"

"With anything you want," Daniel promised.

Cameron's voice came from down the bedrooms.

"Yo, Jackson, you want to come tell us where you want this bed?" He appeared from the hallway and stopped dead in surprise when he saw who was there. "Jonas! Ashlen! Oh my god, aren't you all a sight for sore eyes."

There were more hugs and explanations and then the guys moved off to arrange the furniture in JD's room. Sam and Jillian herded Ashlen into the Great Room, where Sam went back into the kitchen and started listing the variety of drinks available for Ashlen. Jillian directed her to one of the bar stools and hopped up on one of the others.

"I have no idea what any of that is," Ashen said, shaking her head. "Jonas goes on and on about some of the foods he had on Earth. But I'm really not familiar enough with any of them to choose. What do you recommend?"

Sam grinned. "We'll start with the strawberry lemonade and work our way up to the selection of wines in the basement."

Ashlen grinned and looked relaxed for the first time since coming through the door. "Sounds wonderful!" She said.

(0)

It seemed obvious that all of SG1 past and present would wind up at one table on the deck, even if they had to push two tables together to accomplish it. Daniel was seated against the deck rail, straddling the bench seat so he could rest JD against his chest. The toddler was just about wiped out from his busy afternoon and starting to doze off.

They were well into the keg of beer and their second plates of food and the good-natured story swapping had started.

"So it's First Thursday," Sam began. She was sitting next to Jack and taking advantage of the crowded table to press the entire right side of her body up against his. "And Jonas had been drinking beer with whiskey shots-"

"And so had you!" Jonas interjected, defensively.

"Well, yeah," Sam admitted and everyone chuckled. "But both of us present as pretty sober even when we've been going all night, so it wasn't obvious how wasted we both were. You decide that you really are going to ask out Rush, but she's not there. So you talk Teal'c into driving you to her house and I decide to come along-"

"Teal'c," Jack interrupted, "what the hell were you thinking?"

"He intended to walk there on his own, O'Neill. I thought driving him would be a better plan to ensure his safety."

Jack gave him a skeptical look but Sam kept talking, "Well, Teal'c did try to just drive him home but Jonas figured it out and badgered him-"

"To your credit you did tell me it was a really bad idea," Jonas said.

"No one likes to be stalked, Jonas," Sam said, "Take it from me."

"You did have more than your fair share of creepy guys attracted to you," Jack observed. "I would have taken care of them for you, but you're a better shot than I am. I always figured if you wanted them gone, you'd do it yourself."

Sam looked up at him. "You would have eliminated all my stalker admirers?"

"In a cold minute," Jack said, before drinking from his red Solo cup of beer.

Sam thought about that, then smiled at him in delight before continuing, "Well, Jonas didn't listen and he gets Teal'c to drive him to this address, and he goes to stand under a window and he starts singing. So Teal'c is out of the car at this point and trying to get him to stop because we thought he was going to – you know – knock on her door and talk to her and a light comes on."

Ashlen was giggling helplessly at this point.

"It turns out we're at the wrong house! Jonas got the street numbers all mixed up."

"I had been to her house before!" Jonas said, defensively, "Remember she had that get-together for all the newbies?"

"Yes, but you didn't even notice the house looked completely different!" Sam complained.

"Well no, I didn't at the time." Jonas said with an innocent grin.

"They called the cops on him and before we can get him back in the car there's a black and white pulling up with the lights flashing. Teal'c explained the address mix up and the officers were actually pretty nice about it," Sam went on, "They said if one of us could blow a triple zero they'd let us go with a warning and of course, you know – Teal'c."

"What is a triple zero?" Ashlen interrupted.

"It's a clear blood alcohol test, proving at least one of us is stone cold sober," Sam explained. "The funniest part was when the cop tried to high five Teal'c for the test and Teal'c just left him hanging there. I think I was hustling Jonas back into the car at that point."

"So why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" Jack asked, as the others laughed.

"Need to know, sir," Jonas said.

Jack glared. Sam told him. "It's your own fault. You taught us the importance of need to know."

Jack snorted and said, "I need more beer."

He bumped shoulders with Sam as he got up and she smiled at him fondly.

Daniel stood up, slowly, carefully cradling JD who was now completely asleep. "I'm going to go put him in his new bed. Anyone want anything from inside?"

"We need more ketchup," Cameron noted.

"Done," Daniel said.

He turned towards the sliding door back into the house but Jack intercepted him. "You got a place where I can talk to Sam in private?" He asked.

"Talk?" Daniel asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes, talk, Daniel – as in share a dialogue," Jack answered, irritated.

"Okay, fine!" Daniel said, "Shh!" He rocked a little on his feet to keep JD from waking up. "Use my office. No one should be in there now."

"Thanks," Jack said, sincerely.

"Jack," Daniel said, suddenly worried, "Is something wrong?"

"No," Jack's answer was quick and honest because Daniel wouldn't believe anything else.

Daniel nodded and went into the house. Jack stood, waiting patiently until Sam felt his gaze resting on her. When she looked up he tilted his head towards the house and then vanished through the door into the house. Less than a few seconds later she came through after him.

"What?" she asked.

Jack kept his voice low because the house was full of people. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," she said, just as quietly.

Jack took her by the hand and guided her towards the stairs.

(0)


	326. Chapter 326

The downstairs of the Jacksons' house was just as crowded as the upstairs but no one seemed to notice as Sam and Jack went into Daniel's office. The door was open and the room was deserted, probably the only room in the house that was unoccupied. It had a strong aura of 'Daniel-ness' that worked as its own special security system.

Jack had never had a problem breaching Daniel's defenses, and he had permission to be here anyway. He led Sam into the room and shut the door. For a moment all he did was back her up against the wall and lean into her body space, hands on either side of her, staring down into her eyes. A soft playful smile touched her expression. He bent lower and delicately caressed her lips with his, a gentle tease that left her momentarily breathless and burning for more. She'd wanted to kiss him since he'd appeared out of nowhere.

He brushed her cheek with his, rubbed his nose lightly against hers and pressed his forehead to hers just enough to move her bangs so they tickled.

"I keep having to remind myself I can do this," Jack said.

"You mean this?" Sam asked. She put her hands on either side of his face and pulled him down.

They kissed the way people who had been drowning reached for air, as if there had never been anything so sweet, so necessary. Somehow her arms went around him, fisting in his t-shirt. Jack's hands roamed over her back and shoulders. One hand finally came to rest cradling the side of her face.

There were no words for the amount of passion, the depth of the need. When they stopped to breathe, Sam turned her cheek into his palm, eyes closed and Jack stilled, frozen in wonder.

It was Sam who spoke first. "So I'm guessing you didn't bring me down here just to make out?"

"No but it's a good enough reason all on its own, isn't it?" Jack asked, linking his fingers behind her back.

"Of course, but you know what happens when my curiosity gets piqued. So we can continue this part of the reunion at my house tonight?"

"If we're invited," Jack answered.

"Of course you are!" Sam said, startled.

"I can't assume that," he shook his head.

"Why not?"

"I just can't. It's your house."

Sam nodded, understanding. Jack had watched the progression of men who had come in and out of her life over the last ten years and he was determined not to make any of the mistakes they had about violating Sam's personal space.

"Well, you're coming to my house tonight and so is Jett - unless Jett gets invited to Rusty Davidson's like last time, to hang out with his boys."

"Jett likes that," Jack acknowledged.

"So why are we here?" Sam asked.

Jack sighed a little and backed away. They went to Daniel's desk and sat down in the only two chairs the room had.

"Is this bad?" she asked.

"From a professional point of view, no. For us, for you and me, it's going to mean back-burnering a few things."

"Uh-oh."

Jack sighed, inhaled and then spoke as if he was ripping off a Band-Aid. "The President and the IOA have finally come to a conclusion about whom they want to replace Elizabeth Weir."

"And?"

"It's you."

For a moment all Sam could do was stare at him in blank amazement. Then she finally said, "What? Me? I'm the same rank as most of the team leaders. I'm the same rank as Sheppard. How is that going to work?"

"You've been the same rank as Mitchell since you agreed to rejoin SG-1, and that seems to have worked just fine for both of you. With your experience you should have made full bird a year ago."

"I'll have to command McKay, of all people! You want to talk about men who have been sexist and condescending to me-"

"I'm pretty sure he's over that," Jack commented.

"Why? Why me? I thought you were going to push for Gerald Mallory to get Atlantis."

"The IOA-"

Sam let out a frustrated growl and got to her feet. "I thought you said they weren't going to have a say in this."

For the first time Jack looked impatient. "Let me finish!"

Chastised, Sam sat back down. "The IOA doesn't have as much to say at the moment. Not after the way they went off the rails and almost lost the Odyssey. I managed to convince Hayes that we need to put the military in command of Atlantis. I pushed for Mallory, but it seems the Air Force had other plans for him."

"What plans?" He's perfect for this."

"The SGC."

"What!"

"They want Landry to train Mallory to take over for him in six months. So that Landry can take over for me."

Jack let that sink in for a moment. Her eyes narrowed for a moment and then she sighed. "That's going to be the progression now, isn't it?"

"Probably," Jack said, "at least for the moment."

"So you're in this for at least another six months no matter what?"

"Yes, and when you take Atlantis I'm in it until you stand down. I won't let anyone else have your back. That's just not going to happen."

"When. When I take Atlantis?"

"Honey, you brought up a whole bunch of possible issues with the command but you never said no."

Sam started to protest and then stopped because he was right. There had been nothing inside of her that had balked at the command. Nothing at all. She looked at Jack and pleaded silently for him to understand.

Jack waved a hand in the air dismissively. "You're one of the most career-driven people I know. That's fine. It's one of the things I love about you. You do this – take it as an interim command while we straighten out the IOA – and you'll be able to write your own ticket afterwards."

"What about us?" she asked.

"You can't plan a wedding in the Pegasus galaxy? I can send you bridal magazines if you want."

"Be serious."

"I was!"

Sam inhaled. "You mean it?"

"You're the one who started it! On the Odyssey."

"Is this what you want? For me to take command of Atlantis?"

"Is it what I – Jack O'Neill, future retired USAF officer – want? No. I want to put in my papers tomorrow and be done with the whole thing. I want to marry you – as soon as possible, in whatever way you want. But is it what General O'Neill, stuck in the Pentagon with the issues of Wraith and Replicators and what to do about Atlantis wants? Yes. Given the short list of people they want in that command, you're the only one we all agree on. You're the only one I trust."

Sam stared with her heart beating fast. "When is all this supposed to happen?"

"I'm supposed to bring you back with me for a meeting with Hayes. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! That's kind of quick, isn't it?"

"Atlantis is being run by a committee at the moment, so it kind of has to be."

Sam shook her head. She had been holding Jack like a secret in her heart for so long. They hadn't said anything openly. Their immediate team was still the only ones who knew about them. She had been looking forward to coming out of the shadows; for the end of an era that seemed to have lasted her entire life.

"Am I going to have a choice?"

"Do you want one?"

"Not if you need me."

"I do."

"This isn't the context in which I was hoping to hear you say that," Sam said, drily.

"Wasn't how I was hoping to say it," Jack admitted. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands. "But I want you to know that I am proud of you. I have always been proud of you, from the beginning. I know you too well. I know that underneath the personal disappointment, you're as excited as hell."

Sam stood up, pushed him back into an upright position and sat down in his lap.

"You learn this from Mal Doran?" Jack asked.

"Maybe," she smiled.

"I notice she's in Mitchell's lap these days," Jack mused. He put his arms around her.

"So we have until tomorrow?" Sam asked.

"Yeah," Jack said, "Tomorrow afternoon. Lunch meeting. Hayes likes things informal."

"So we have tonight?"

"Yeah. More barbecue, hang with the team for a while. Then probably fireworks?"

Sam's smile was slow and sultry. She leaned forward, seeking another kiss. "Oh yeah, tonight, I can promise there's going to be fireworks."

(0)


	327. Chapter 327

Sam had wandered off and was probably in the pool again, as the afternoon had become increasingly warmer. They had started a volley ball game in the deep endJack grabbed a beer from the cooler, wanting the feeling of cold glass in his hands and, spotting Daniel, he went to stand next to him, leaning on the railing of the upper deck and looking out over the party taking place in the yard.

"So Sam's going to Atlantis," Daniel said, without looking at Jack.

"Yep," Jack answered.

"Happy about that?"

"Nope."

"Has to be done?"

"Yep."

"Then she'll do it," Daniel said.

"And she will be awesome," Jack said, with a sigh. "I know."

Daniel glanced at him sideways, hesitant. But Daniel had never hesitated before poking at Jack when wiser men would have backed away slowly.

"Look, Jack. I asked you once if we go paid for what we do and you said yes. It didn't take me long after that to realize that we also pay _for_ it, every day. This seems like too much to ask this time. You going to be okay, with her gone?"

Jack's jaw rippled for a moment. Not in irritation at the question, not after all the time he and Daniel had been the most unlikely of friends. He still just hated talking. On the other hand he should probably vent to someone before he vented at Sam.

"I don't know if I can hack the political crap without her."

Daniel nodded and waited because Jack always needed a moment to admit that he had just said something important. If Daniel jumped on an answer too fast Jack would shut him down with a series of snide comments and they'd be shouting at each other. He kept his response calm and level, his tone matter-of-fact. "She wasn't sure she could hack it off world without you. I'm not sure she ever stopped looking for you, every time. I'm not sure any of us ever did. Sometimes we'd look up and see Cam and I know we all seemed kind of surprised that it wasn't you standing there and I know he knew it. But Sam's strong and so are you. You've both been hacking crap for two years. You'll stay in DC because she needs you to. She's going to Atlantis mostly because you need her to. I don't think I've ever seen two people who loved each other the way you do and spend so much time having to put everything and everyone ahead of your own desires."

Jack stared straight ahead and didn't say anything for a while. "Not entirely ahead of all our desires. Sam's career is already pretty set. If she does this successfully - and she will – together we can write whatever ticket she wants. Her career is important to her. I won't ask her to put it on hold or side rail it for me."

"And you've got your own plans for the SGC," Daniel surmised, "In spite of your claim that it's all going to be peaceful exploration and rainbows now. You've got Sam now and you know it. You'll always have Sam. The only thing you still need is the white picket fence and the dog."

A smile pulled at Jack's mouth. "Jett wants a dog," he said, "I'm not sure how Sam feels about one."

"If Jett wants it, she'll be okay with it," Daniel guessed. "She's been waiting for you to get one. You did once tell Cassie every Earth kid has to have a dog."

They were silent for a long time and then Jack said, "What do _you_ want, Daniel? While I'm still in a position to make sure you get it."

Jack knew Daniel wouldn't brush it off, wouldn't claim he didn't want anything. He knew Jack wouldn't let him for one thing. Daniel had earned whatever he said next.

"I want three months off," he said, "to be with my family. I want to take them to the Caribbean beach house after Katie is born and not be disturbed for all that time. When we get back I want to head the team looking at the Asgard data base and I want to hand pick that team. When the Odyssey is back up and running and has a moment, I want to go to Heliopolis to see what survived."

Jack turned to look at him. "You've thought about this."

Daniel drank from the cup in hand, which Jack suspected was lemonade. Daniel was staying stone cold sober in the event that Jillian suddenly needed him. "Yeah, I have."

Jack shrugged. "It's not too far off from what they'll want you to do anyway. Shouldn't be a problem, except for the beach house thing. I don't really have a say in who gets to use Jillian's family's beach house."

Daniel huffed out a small laugh. "No. I already checked with her dad and he says it's available to us for however long we need it."

Jack nodded and they stood almost shoulder to shoulder for a while and then Jack asked, "You got a football around here? Bat and ball?"

"There's a great big bag of sporting equipment in the garage," Daniel answered, sounding bemused and a little awed, "Jillian picked it up just for these little get-togethers. There's even a basketball hoop on wheels we can roll out into the driveway, so Uncle Cam can teach the kids how to play."

Jack's eyebrows went up because it would be the last thing he'd expect to find in the Jackson's garage. But Daniel was good at surprising him. He'd always been able to do that. It was good, Jack thought, after ten years, some things remained the same.

"Mind if I drag it out?"

"No, "Daniel said. Tilting his cup back he drained it and then tossed into the nearest garbage can. "I'll help you."

"We need to take the long way through your downstairs," Jack said, as they headed into the house.

"Why?"

"Because it's 3 o'clock on a beautiful afternoon and my son has been in front of video games for long enough," Jack said. "He's already way over the daily limit."

"Ah," Daniel said, "Not a part of fatherhood I've had to worry about yet."

"You have so much to look forward to," Jack said, drily.

But Daniel only smiled, with that shy, head-duck that had become so familiar in the first few years of their friendship and had rarely been seen since, "Yeah," he said, "I think I do. I'm not worried about it at any rate. I'll have you if I need advice."

Jack snorted, "Advice you won't take," he said, certainly.

But Daniel shrugged. "You never know," he said.

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	328. Chapter 328

**One Week Later at 2am.**

Daniel had come to bed late, as usual. He checked on JD, who was sleeping on his back with his arms splayed out to the side. He tucked a sheet around him, leaned over to kiss the top of his head and then went to the room he shared with his wife. Moonlight was streaming in through the windows and sheer curtains, bathing the room in silvery light and smoky shadows. He found Jillian stretched out on the bed, hugging a body pillow, her legs lightly covered with a sheet. From the way the sheets, blanket and quilt were scattered he could tell that it had been a restless night for her so far.

He berated himself for being a thoughtless jerk while climbing in carefully and settling down beside her. There wasn't anything so pressing that he had to work all hours any more. The things that were backlogged at the moment should just stay backlogged. It was hard to remember that he could well and truly put his family first – for maybe the first time in his life. His marriage had survived all the insanity of the past seven years. For the first time he wondered if he knew how to be a husband and father in peacetime. Did he know how to really put them before anything else – or had protecting them become all he knew of family?

Jillian slept better when he was with her. She'd been telling him that for years; and he had let her go to bed alone two weeks before she was supposed to deliver their daughter. So that he could continue cataloguing Catherine's collection.

Idiot.

Not knowing what hurt, he reached for her gently.

"Daniel?" Her voice was heavy, drowsy and irritated.

"Yeah," he said, pressing a kiss against the shell of her ear. "Go to sleep. I'm here."

She sighed but didn't say anything else. A moment later she turned over, making more fussy noises, tangling the sheets some more. Daniel shifted, trying to accommodate her as well as he could. He waited with his arms loose and his body still as she tried to get into a comfortable position against him.

Just when he thought they could relax and settled into slumber, Jillian moved again, twisted, winced, sighed and then went still again.

A moment later she rolled over with her back to him again. Daniel propped himself up on his elbow and put his other hand on her shoulder.

"Jill," he whispered, "What's wrong?"

She exhaled. "The baby."

Daniel fought down a moment of pure, adrenaline-enhanced panic. "Jillian," he said, a little more loudly, "When I ask you what's wrong and you say the baby, it puts me on the verge of a major coronary event. What exactly is wrong with the baby?"

Jillian snuggled closer, seeking support for her back. He complied automatically, resisting the urge to shake her a little. "Jill?"

"Nothing," she said, eyes closed, a furrowed shadow between her brows. There was a pause in which she shifted and snuggled more and then sighed again. "She's just very… restless. I can't sleep because she won't stop moving."

Daniel felt every muscle in his body relax a bit but he said, anxiously, "She's not in some kind of distress is she?"

"No," Jillian rubbed her cheek on his arm and sought his right hand, linking her fingers with his and giving a reassuring squeeze.

Daniel rubbed her shoulder and then slipped his left hand down to hover over their child. "Can I touch?"

"Hm-mm," she sounded as if she was on the edge of sleep but then she inhaled sharply. Daniel felt a definite and substantial movement under her skin.

"Wow," he said. He started rubbing lightly, in large soothing circles.

"Mmm," she answered. "You used to do that with JD, too."

"And now he likes to have his back rubbed when he's upset," Daniel realized.

"Yeah," she breathed it out on an exhausted sigh and turned her face into his bicep again.

Daniel kissed the back of her head and then rested his cheek on it. He had slipped into a state of near-sleep, still stroking circles to help calm their daughter, when he felt something hot and wet trickle over his skin.

"Jill?" He asked, instantly awake. "Are you crying?" There was a muffled sob, a gasp for air. Daniel lifted his head. He switched to Italian because he knew she found it comforting. "_Carida? Perché piangi? Ciò che è sbagliato adesso?"_

"I don't want Sam to leave."

The admission came out of nowhere, surprised him, even though he had gotten used to her mood swings and oddly emotional state; it was lethal combined with exhaustion and a frustrating need to It was like a shot through his heart because he hadn't wanted to admit that he felt the same way, much less articulate it. He let go of her hand so that he could wrap his arm around her.

"I know," he said, "I don't either. We've been really lucky. All our friends are military but we've held onto them for over a decade."

"It was awful when she left before and that was just to go to another state. This is another galaxy; and Teal'c is leaving too. It's all ending again."

"I guess it's the price we pay for peace," Daniel quietly mused.

Jillian turned over again, getting as close as she could and pressing her face into his t-shirt. For a while she cried silently while he stroked her hair.

"Don't go away anymore, Daniel," she whispered. "I'm not sure I could bear it again."

"I won't," he promised and this time he meant it. "From now on, whatever we do, we do together."

He spent a long time staring into the milky light and deep shadows, soothing his wife and daughter as best he could until he no longer felt their daughter stirring restlessly and Jillian finally fell asleep. He wondered how many nights Jillian had spent crying in the dark when he wasn't there to hold her and resolved that there would never be another one.

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	329. Chapter 329

JD woke them up at 7:13am. Daniel kissed Jillian's ear and said, "I'll go. Try to get some more sleep."

She hesitated, because it was hard to listen to her son waking up and not go to him. But Daniel was right and JD would be just as pleased to see his dad.

As Daniel got up, grabbed his t-shirt off the floor and started out the door, Jillian said, "I love you."

"I love you too," he answered.

JD was sitting up in bed with Gray Bear. He got to his feet when he saw Daniel saying, "Daddy!"

"Yep, good morning, Sonshine, "Daniel said. He picked JD up and cuddled him for a moment, still warm in his cotton pajamas. "Do you want breakfast."

JD nodded. "Can we have oatmeal?"

"Sure."

"The way Sam makes it?"

Daniel felt another small pang. Sam, so much a part of their lives that his son knew how she liked her oatmeal. JD probably couldn't remember a time when Sam had not been in his life. In fact, neither could Daniel.

Daniel got JD to try using the toilet and then helped him get dressed. As he carried JD out into the hallway, he asked, "Where's Mommy?"

"Mommy's sleeping. She'll be up soon. It's still early."

"Can I see?"

Daniel hesitated. "Okay," he said, "But you have to be quiet and just look."

"Why?"

"Because nothing will wake Mommy up faster than your voice. If she thinks you need her, she'll get up."

"Why?"

"Because she loves you that much; and if we love Mommy we'll let her sleep a little longer."

"Because of Baby Sister?"

"Well, no, not _because_ of Baby Sister. But Baby Sister needs to sleep too."

"Why?"

"So she'll be all rested so she can be born soon."

"Then Katie will live with us and not in Mommy's tummy anymore," JD said. He was repeating what he had been told and Daniel could tell that he really still didn't understand what they were telling him. Hopefully he would when Katie joined them on the planet.

Daniel cracked open the door of the master bedroom and let JD peek inside. Seeing his mother sleeping soundly under a sheet seemed to satisfy him.

"Okay?" Daniel whispered and JD nodded silently, putting his finger over his lips to show that he remembered Daniel's caution about speaking.

They made it to the kitchen without any more questions or concerns from JD and fifteen minutes later he was sitting in his high chair eating oatmeal with almonds and milk like Sam made it.

"What do you want to do today?" Daniel asked.

"I don't know," JD answered, "Are you all done chasing the bad guys, Daddy?"

The question caught Daniel off guard. He was brewing a new pot of iced tea for Jillian but he stopped to give JD his full attention. "Yes. I'm all done doing that."

"Are you still going to work sometimes?"

"Yes, but for a while I'm just going to stay with you and Mommy and Baby Sister. Okay?"

"Okay. Can we have smashed potatoes for dinner?"

Daniel stared at his son for a moment, at the oatmeal in his hair and all over his t-shirt and then laughed a little. This was why he had spent so much time away from them, 'chasing bad guys' – so that he would have mornings like this with his son. "Sure. Do you want anything else?"

"No, just smashed potatoes."

"Well, I think we'll have to come up with more than that, but we'll see."

Daniel held his breath because it often took much less than being told he couldn't just have potatoes for dinner to set off JD's temper, but JD nodded happily and started making an all new mess with his banana slices.

Two hours later Daniel heard the water running in the shower in the master bathroom and knew that Jillian was awake. He planned to spend the morning wearing JD out until he took a good long nap; and then he wanted to lavish whatever attention Jillian would allow because a very wise man who was now a General in the Air Force had told Daniel to pay attention to his wife or someone else would.

She appeared sometime later, with damp towel-mussed hair, in shorts and bare feet, wearing one of his t-shirts, heavily pregnant and still gorgeous. Daniel swept her with a gaze of appreciation and tenderness combined with concern, looking for anything that might be amiss.

"Oh wow," he breathed softly.

JD saw her at that moment and jumped up, running to her. Jillian leaned down and picked him up.

"Careful," Daniel said.

"I can pick up my son, Daniel," Jillian said, a little defensively.

"Yes, I know, but I think I know why our daughter was so restless all night."

She looked away from JD, eyebrows lifting quizzically.

"Don't you feel different? Your silhouette is different this morning. I think she probably spent all night turning, getting into position."

Jillian appeared to consider that as she listened to JD asking for smashed potatoes for dinner and how Daddy said they could have them. She told JD, "Yes, that's fine. Go get your trains out," as she put him down.

Then she walked across the space dividing her from her husband and straight into his arms. "I think you're right," she said. Then her body stilled in his arms as she held herself stiffly, hardly breathing. Her hand slid down his arm to tighten around his wrist, fingernails digging into his skin. She hid her face against his chest and didn't move at all for several long seconds. Then she gasped and started breathing again, relaxing a little, letting Daniel support her weight.

Clear understanding dawned. His spoke in a voice of hushed reference. "Jillian, are you in labor?"

"Yeah," she said.

He started to exclaim 'and you took a shower before telling me?' Then he decided that was a really good way to get his head snapped off. He took a breath, counted to ten in Greek and then said, "Okay. What do you want to do?"

"Call Dad to come watch JD and then go to the SGC," she answered, "I think this is going to be much faster this time."

Daniel nodded. "Okay, I'll go call him. Do you want to eat? Tea?"

"I'll get some tea." She let go of him but he kept a hand under her elbow for another moment or two, making sure she was steady on her feet.

"I can get it for you," he said, quickly.

"I can walk around, Daniel." She was already on the wrong side of grumpy so he let it drop.

An hour later her Dad was helping JD wave goodbye to them from the door into the garage as Daniel backed the SUV out and they were heading to the SGC.

(0)

Katherine Jillian Jackson arrived on Earth at 10:02 pm on July 12, 2007, weighing 7 lbs 2 oz and coming in at 18 inches long. She was bright pink, with big dark blue eyes and a fuzzy halo of blond hair circled her head. She cried for a minute or two and then settled down and stared up at her father who stared back at her in stunned wonder. He'd once thought that his heart was utterly full just with Jillian and somehow it had magically expanded to include JD. He felt the same expansion happening now as he carried Katie over to her exhausted but jubilant mother.

"Are you all right?" He asked, breathing as if he had been in a fight when truthfully Jillian had done all the work. He laid Katie in Jillian's arm carefully and she didn't answer him for a moment, lost in the same wonder of finally seeing the child she had carried for so long.

"Oh god, Daniel, she's so beautiful," Jillian murmured.

"Of course she is," Daniel said, perching on the edge of the bed and pressing a kiss against his wife's sweat-soaked bangs. "She looks exactly like you."

She tore her gaze away from her daughter and looked up at her husband. "The way JD looks like you. Do you think the Asgard planned that?"

"Probably. It seems like something Thor would have understood, if not Heimdahl."

They were silent for a moment, mourning and thanking their lost allies, who had given them this miracle. Daniel kissed her again and blinked away tears. Jillian smiled at him with misty adoration.

"It finally feels complete now," he said, "like we didn't leave anyone behind."

"This is what you've been fighting for," Jillian said, "for a decade. We finally _won_, Daniel."

"Yes," he said, "We did."

(0)

**A/N I know this reads like it could be an ending of the series, but it isn't. It's just the end of this chapter in their lives.**


	330. Chapter 330

Two Months Later:

Everything about the Caribbean agreed with Jillian: the sun, the water, the isolation. And if Daniel was honest he would admit that all of those things were good for him too. He was enchanted by his family, discovering them all over again. His daughter, he found, made the most irresistible little cooing noises and cried only when she was hungry and loved falling asleep with her head on his chest. His son was now trilingual – Spanish from his father, English from his mother and Mandarin from his grandfather – and could switch back and forth pretty fluently. He gathered more words every day and loved to swim the way his mother did. His favorite questions were "What is it?" and "What does it do?"

As for his wife, it seemed to Daniel that he had never been more in love. Perhaps it was being back at the beach house with her, the place where they had spent their honeymoon. Perhaps it was watching her being a firm and wonderful and loving mother to the children who looked so much like the two of them.

Maybe it was that on their first day in the Caribbean, after getting unpacked and settled and eating and finally getting both of their children to sleep, and Jillian had uttered the sexiest words Daniel knew, "Oh, I've been meaning to share this book with you that I read…."

With his wife's help he was learning to relax again, to play ball on the beach with his son, rock his daughter in his arms when they were out sailing and Jillian was swimming in the ocean with JD, and alternately, swim with him while Jillian waited for them in the boat. Daniel remembered his joy of discovery as he watched JD delight in everything they encountered – sea turtles and parrot fish, the abundant life of a coral reef, the sand, the shells. The tiny lizards that seemed to be everywhere and made JD shriek with laughter and chase after them.

To learn, to teach, to lie on a chaise longue and read for no reason but to enjoy the book while Jillian built sandcastles with JD. No one wanted anything from him that he wasn't completely willing to give. Nothing to translate. No ancient ruins that might hold the key to their salvation. No need to talk or explain.

No need to fear what might come in dreams.

He had promised her twelve blissfully uninterrupted weeks. He was beginning to think it wouldn't be enough. By the seventh week he was ready to sell the house in the Springs, retire and move to the Caribbean forever.

At least he thought he was. He was lying in the hammock by the pool with Katie sitting up on his chest, supported and almost engulfed by his hands around her waist. She was making the most amazed and amazing faces, occasionally babbling and chewing on her fist. Jillian was playing in the water with JD, diving and splashing to the music of their son's laughter.

"So," she said, tossing a ball for JD to swim after and stroking easily beside him. "Have you thought about what we're going to do when we get back to the SGC?"

Daniel smiled, running his fingertips over Katie's fluff of blond hair. "I was just thinking that maybe we can just stay right here forever."

"You'd get bored," Jillian said. "Sooner or later, you'd remember everything we haven't had time to do for the last ten years."

"I've been doing all the things we haven't had time for – sleeping, eating, reading, being with my family…"

"You know what I mean," Jillian said, drily.

She walked out of the pool with JD and Daniel took advantage of his dark sunglasses to let his eyes roam over her. Two children later he was still married to a damned sexy woman.

"I do, Jill," he said, watching her towel JD dry while making silly faces at him. "But the last time we had this talk was after we defeated the Goa'uld and the Replicators and the next time I got bored, I found the Ori galaxy and hundreds of people died."

Jillian gave him a stern look that clearly said, not in front of the kids. She stood up, lifting JD as she did. She paused to lean over and kiss Daniel's forehead before sitting down on the chaise lounge beside him.

"An entire galaxy isn't enslaved anymore," she said.

"There's that," Daniel admitted.

"We have Catherine's collection to finish cataloguing," Jillian reminded him. "We have the opportunity to go to Atlantis again if you wanted. Sam would welcome us and Jack could expedite a TDY so we could all go."

"No," Daniel said, "I already told Jack what I want: the Asgard database – complete control and 24/7 access."

"That would still be waiting when we came back from Atlantis. In fact, you could put together a team to start work on it while we're gone."

Daniel turned to look at her, squinting over the top of his sunglasses. "You're serious? You would still go to Atlantis?"

"Why not? It still fascinates me."

Daniel inhaled, let it out slowly. "Baby, if you want to go to Atlantis, I will go just for you because at this point I would do anything you wanted. But I have had enough of the Ancients for a while. So much so that I am almost willing to start agreeing with you about them being an intergalactic pain in the ass. But I swear if Atlantis is what you want that's what we'll do. In fact, maybe that's the question you should be asking – what do you want to do?"

Jillian's answer was interrupted when JD dumped an entire bucket of Duplos onto the deck. It made a loud enough noise that he looked up at his mother, wide-eyed.

"It's okay," she said. "Build something."

"I'm gonna build a whale," JD said, seriously.

"Go for it," Daniel said. Then he looked back at Jillian, "Our son is going to build a whale. What do you want to do?"

She took his question to heart, judging by the way she looked somberly out at the ocean and thought for a long time before answering. "I never thought anything would be more important to me than my career. For a long time I was very dedicated to preserving the antiquities in ancient Persia. Then I couldn't imagine anything but the Stargate Program and after that it was you and the Stargate Program. Now, honestly, Daniel, I'd really love to just concentrate on you and the kids for a while. Beyond that I want to keep working on Catherine's collection. It's amazing in its own right, but combined with the backstory we now have on Egypt…I could spend a lot of time working on it and being happy. And there's still so much of it that should be on display in a museum somewhere. Just the jewelry she had-" She broke off, realizing that she was rambling and smiled a little. "But I'd also like to help with the Asgard database, just because it will be fascinating and I love working with you."

Katie picked that moment to stir and fuss. Daniel sat up, cradling her carefully. "Oh, hey, Kitten," he murmured, "it's okay. Everything you need is right here."

"Here," Jillian said, rising. "I'll go feed her and see if I can get her to sleep. You put JD down for his nap?"

"No nap!" JD said, firmly. "I am making a whale."

Daniel exchanged looks with his wife as he passed the now squalling baby into her arms. "I'll do my best," he said, "especially if it means they might sleep at the same time and we can have some uninterrupted adult time."

"That would be amazing," Jillian mused, sweeping him with a look that said she loved him, and that she was hungry for him, "but it's another reason to go back home. Built in babysitters."

Daniel leaned forward and touched his lips to hers, trying not to feel the shiver of anticipation. "There's that," he repeated, with a gentle smile.

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	331. Chapter 331

By the time Daniel got JD down for a nap, Jillian had fed Katie, rocked her to sleep and then gone to get a shower. He saw her standing in the kitchen pouring two glasses of iced tea. She also had plates on the breakfast bar, next to a bowl of sautéed prawns and another of tossed greens. A plate of sliced bread sat beside the salad.

Daniel hadn't realized he was hungry until he saw the food. His stomach rumbled instantly as he perched on the wooden bar stool and reached for the prawns.

"I fed JD but I didn't know I wanted to eat too, until now," he said.

"What did you feed JD?"

"Fruit salad, cottage cheese and he ate half a slice of bread."

"I'm surprised he ate that much," Jillian said, "He had a big lunch. He must getting ready to grow again."

Daniel smiled as she sat down beside him. "Is this dinner or a snack?" He asked.

"Whatever," she said, "It's Caribbean time. We eat when we want." She fixed her plate with prawns and salad and then asked, "So how many times did you have to read '_Piper Saves the Day'_ before he fell asleep?"

"Three," he said, "But I had to read '_Piper's New Sister' _four times before that."

Jillian smiled affectionately. JD was currently obsessed by two things – whales and books about whales, and a series of books about a Jack Russell Terrier named Piper. Sam had given him the first book in the series – _Piper's New Home -_ for Christmas and they had been collecting them ever since.

"In Spanish?" She asked.

"We went back and forth," Daniel answered.

They ate together in comfortable companionship, discussing the book Jillian had shared with him – _The Lazarus Project_ – which he had just finished and had been so engrossed in that he had missed lunch. They debated the pros and cons of it, and argued about whether the photographs had added or subtracted from the storytelling.

They finished eating and cleaned up and at some point Daniel began to get very turned on. He never wanted to pressure her. Just because JD would probably sleep for two hours or even longer, didn't mean that they had to immediately jump into bed. For the most part JD was a very happy little boy, but the oddest things could trigger his temper, especially if he was tired. Lunch and conversation that wasn't interrupted by JD having a tantrum because his carrots weren't the right shade of orange - or there was purple lettuce in his salad when purple lettuce hadn't bothered him at all the day before - was often enough 'adult time' for both of them.

But right at the moment, Daniel couldn't stop watching the way the breeze coming in from the open patio was moving her hair, making the highlights glint red and gold. She was wearing a short sun dress with a halter top, tied casually behind her neck. It was a floral pattern – large tropical flowers in vivid shades of fuchsia and royal blue with green leaves on a black background. Her long legs and slender feet were bare, as were her back and arms. The halter made an enticing V over the swell of her breasts, accentuating the shadow between them.

Daniel's mouth went dry with desire and he took a long swallow of iced tea, draining the glass. She caught him looking at her and then startled the heck out of him by blushing and looking away.

Daniel put the glass down slowly, thinking, which wasn't all that easy at the moment since his brain had been on the verge of letting his body take over.

"Jill? Hey? After everything we've been through and everything we've done together, you're suddenly shy?"

The color in her throat and face got brighter. "No. It's just …. It's not exactly the same body you fell in love with."

"What?" Daniel was so startled he couldn't believe what he had just heard, "Jillian! I didn't fall in love with a body. I fell in love with a person, with _you._ The best part about your body is that _you're_ in it – the person has stood me and grieved for me, believed in me no matter what, the person who gave me those two astonishing babies, the person who for some strange reason loves me-" He broke off when he realized he was making it sound too much like it was all about him. "Jillian, you are amazing, intelligent, perceptive and yes, you are goddamned beautiful; so beautiful it hurts to look at you sometimes, like trying to stare into the sun. But I really hope all the swimming and jogging down the beach and exercising you've been doing is for _you,_ for yourself, for wanting to get back in shape before you go back to work. But if you're doing it for me, you're wasting your time. I always think you're beautiful and I always want you so much it hurts; and if we're going to talk about the way you look right now, well, okay, fine, the swimming and jogging and exercising is working because you're so…. So _sexy_ right now I'm about to catch fire."

He ran out of oxygen before he ran out of words, silently berating himself for not telling her all of that, all along. She had turned at some point to look at him with wide eyes, lips slightly parted. She was breathing slowly and deeply.

"Really?" She asked, softly.

Daniel huffed out a laugh that was entirely aimed at himself. He was wearing an old pair of jeans, so worn and faded they were almost white, soft and threadbare. He was also commando at the moment, so the effect she was having on him – which had not been at all diminished by his passionate outburst – had to be obvious.

"Yeah," he said, with a tug at his crotch and another self-mocking smile, "and it's not just because I'm a guy. Your body is precious to me because it's…. it's _home._ No matter what happens to me, I'm not home until you hold me."

He took cautious steps towards her and when she didn't move away, he closed the distance and slipped an arm around her waist.

They hugged in slow motion, each part touching separately. But they kept going, sinking into each other, her breasts against his chest, her head on his shoulder, his legs bracing apart to let her step between, thighs closing around hers. Her arms went around his ribs, hands pressed against his back. She went limp and he stiffened, holding her up. It was Jillian and it was overwhelming, familiar and he'd meant what he said about the way she'd changed just making her sexier.

He let go with one arm just long enough to pull his glasses off and toss them onto the counter so he could put his face in her hair and breathe in.

"God, Jillian," he whispered, "Please don't tell me you think I'm _that_ guy."

"What guy?" She asked, her voice muffled against the skin of his shoulder, beside the strap of his tank shirt.

"The guy who only cares about how you _look_," Daniel sounded a little strangled now, because he was still shaking with wanting, "I've spent months away from you, wanting you every day, loving you every day. Everything I've done is to ensure your safety and to try to make you happy. I love you. I _never_ gave a damn about what you might look like when I got back – thin, fat, plain, beautiful – I just never thought about that. I just wanted to get back to you and love you. So please don't stand here and tell me that I've somehow given you the impression that how I feel about you, how much I want you, depends on _how you look!"_

"No, Daniel!" His passion stunned her more than a little, "Oh god, baby just hold me for a minute. I think it's just been too long. Can we take a breath?"

He nodded without taking his face out of her hair. It _had _been a long time. Months in fact, mostly spent in chaos ending a war. But he'd live celibate the rest of his life if it meant living with her because that was all he really wanted – just to _be_ where she was; and all he really wanted was for her to want the same thing.

"The doctors said we should wait six weeks," he reminded her.

"It's been seven," she answered, and he could feel her smiling a little.

"What?"

"It's been seven weeks. I'm fine, Daniel. I've been fine," she said, emphatically. "When you didn't do anything last week, I thought maybe…."

"Stop," he laughed again, hugged her, uncertain how two multilingual people who adored each other had managed to wallow in so much miscommunication. "How about we go into the bedroom and lock the door and try to talk this out?"

Jillian smiled, put her hand against the back of his neck and pulled him down towards her waiting lips. "How about if we go into the bedroom and lock the door and don't talk at all?"

Just before their lips touched, with the kiss already kindling like a fire in his eyes, "That's a much better plan."

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	332. Chapter 332

Jillian heedlessly pulled sheets and blankets to the bottom of the bed and then turned to watch Daniel – not actually locking – but securing the door. She couldn't quite keep her gaze from the path it chose- a slow curve over the bend of slim hips into the flex of thighs around the prominence held gently in the washed-thin softness of old jeans. When she managed to look up into Daniel's face she found breathless desire and an overabundance of love.

They sat down on the bed, legs over the side and wrapped up in each other's arm for a long session of kissing. At least Jillian had thought it might be a long session. After a few minutes, Daniel broke it off with a soft gasp that sounded like oh god. Dragging her awareness out of the depths of rising arousal, Jillian looked down and realized that she was rubbing her hand absently against the old denim covering his thigh. The swelling in his crotch had gotten much worse. A low whine clogged his throat.

"Daniel," she said, softly, because it was really obvious at this point that he was feeling the months of celibacy far more than she was. He was looking into her eyes and his were full of longing, black with only the thinnest ring of vivid blue, like an eclipse.

"Jill," he said, his throat tight. His entire body was humming like a wire stretched taut.

"Take these off," she said, thumbing the denim and moving away to give him room.

He didn't hesitate but he did go slowly, because he knew that was something she liked. He stood, unsnapped, unzipped and reached into the opening to draw his erection out into the air. Jillian inhaled a little because Daniel erect was always breathtaking. Daniel slipped the jeans down over his hips in a slow tease, pushed until he had them down far enough that he could step free.

Jillian was still watching him, hunger growing in her eyes. Daniel reached over his head, crossed his wrists and ducked his head to drag his shirt forward, up and over. The muscles on his sides and shoulders bunched and rippled from the effort. When he stood up again, he let the shirt fall to the floor, skin gleaming, gloriously naked.

Jillian's eyes swept him in deep appreciation. She stood, turning around, lifting her hair off the back of her neck and invited him to untie the halter of her dress. He leaned forward, kissed her shoulder, breathed her name against her skin as he slowly unwound the ties.

That was all it took to send the dress tumbling to the floor. Daniel pressed against her as she wiggled out of the scrap of lace panties that was the only thing she still had on. She let him stay that way for a moment, just pressed tight against her back with his fingers tracing light patterns over her ribs and hips, skimming her breasts gently. His breathing was labored now. His body was being wracked by tremors.

Jillian took mercy on him. She turned around and put an arm around his waist and pulled him close. The other hand reached for his hard cock, curled around it and stroked downward. On the upward stroke she ran her thumb over the damp, soft-skinned head. Daniel groaned as if wounded, wrapped his arms tighter around her, one hand gripping her shoulder, the other on her hip.

"Jill-I can't- Baby…I can't-"

"Go on, it's all right," she whispered and then got serious about what she was doing to him, standing up, not even trying to get to the bed.

Daniel came hard, gasping as if he had been underwater. He almost doubled over, bent from the waist as he thrust his hips up into her hand. It was an explosion, sharp and ballistic against her palm, streaming through her fingers. She kept stroking him through the slick drenching, moaning without meaning to because it was so damned hot. All of it served to keep Daniel erupting in an outpouring that betrayed how long it had been, how long he had waited for it to be with her. The hand on her shoulder tightened and released in an unconscious reflex, but she recognized it and repeated it on his throbbing cock.

"Yeah," Daniel groaned. The hand on her hip curled into a fist. His arms were gripping her tight enough to bruise. He froze and let her do the rest of the work, milking him, draining him.

Everything around him whited out in a blaze of pure pleasure. When he became aware of his senses again, he was on the bed, sprawled as if he was staked out, with Jillian sitting up next to him still gently playing with his spent genitals.

His body was still rippling and shivering with sensation. He surged up, grabbed her and toppled over onto his side, wrapping her up in his arms in a graceless motion that still got the job done. He nuzzled against her face and found her mouth and pressed, kissed. Jillian made a happy, aroused sound and kissed back. Her kiss was warm, wet, silken, intensely responsive. Daniel kissed her deeply, searching and sliding with his tongue, stroking. Then he dragged his mouth around to her ear and said, "I love you."

Jillian smiled, kissed his damp shoulder. The way he had grabbed her had been an aggressive assertion of muscle and strength that had Jillian gasping and wriggling under him, thrusting up under him, cupping and kneading his back muscles and glutes.

"God, baby," he murmured against her mouth, "tell me what you want, or give me a few minutes and the options will change."

"Why don't you take more than a few minutes and help me remember what an amazing lover you are, or just let me touch you? I think I'd really like that."

Daniel complied by flopping over onto his back again, pulling her upright again, grinning. Jillian shook her head ruefully and sat beside him with her legs curled under her, grinning back. Daniel was usually stunned to exhaustion by an orgasm like that. Right now he just looked re-energized. She was pleasantly aroused by now, but not in a way she felt any great pressure to do something about. She ran a hand appreciatively over his neck and shoulders and continued down one arm, over carved muscle, down to his wrist. She turned her hand over and trailed her fingers slowly back up.

"So," she said, musingly, "is that why you work out so hard? For yourself?"

His grin got sexy and mischievous as only Daniel's could. "Oh hell no. That's totally so you'll think I'm hot."

Jillian laughed and fell forward, putting her arms around his neck and rubbing her nose against his. "Well it works," she said.

"Yeah?" His voice went low, came from deep in his chest, flowed through her like a river, teased her senses and did more to get her more aroused than an hour of kissing.

"Yeah." She murmured it back with husky affection, teasing his mouth with hers, trading breath and sighs.

Daniel lifted his head up a little, cording the muscles in his neck and shoulders, reaching for her without demand. His right hand went to her back, stroked gently and aimlessly, touching just to touch.

"I love you," he said, with his lips brushing hers, as if the idea still left him slightly amazed. His eyes were hot and dark and adoring. Jillian smiled and he felt it more than saw it. She ran warm hands down the front of him in a long, erotic caress.

Daniel had nearly forgotten how well she knew all his hot spots. His eyes slid half-closed in bliss, under the warm sure pleasure of Jillian touching him. By the time she had kissed and licked and petted her way down to his hip bone he was starting to get hard again and that had to be some kind of record.

But it had been so long. Jillian's pregnancies started out pretty awesome, since she was high on hormones and got turned on by so much as thinking about being the same room with him. The problem was that it ended almost immediately at the start of the second trimester, abruptly and with no warning; and he was fine with it. He'd had no choice really, because no matter what he was living without, Jillian had been literally growing a person – 24/7 with no time off at all.

Then there had been Ori and the search for the Ark and Katie had been born and the doctors said no sex for six more weeks so…..

Jillian gently licked the head of his cock and then took him in her mouth, wet and tender.

"Oh, god," he groaned, lifting his hips off the bed.

She hummed a soft laugh in response and the vibration traveled his groin into his legs and up into his chest. She looked up with a teasing smile in her eyes, rubbing her cheek on his hip. "You poor guy," she said, "I really did make you wait forever, huh?"

"It's okay," he gasped, trying to smile. "It's not like I didn't understand."

"Was your right hand broken the whole time?" she asked, making him laugh again.

"No," he groaned and sat up, forcing her into a sitting position facing him. "But I have a hard time doing that without fantasizing about this gorgeous green-eyed woman I know, and if she's not in the mood, I kind of hesitate to do that."

"Fantasizing?" They had started grinning and kissing again.

"Well who do you think I fantasize about when…when…you know."

"Honestly?" She laughed. "Until this moment I never gave it a thought."

Daniel paused, leaned back a little. "I guess," he said, thoughtfully, "I'm kind of relieved about that."

Jillian giggled again, helplessly, until he muscled her onto her back again and the giggling broke off in a delighted rush of breath leaving her body and dissolved into a groan as he bent over and began worshipping her body with his lips and tongue. He paused at the base of her throat, sucked, gentle and wet.

His strong firm hands were roving over her in an attempt to touch everything at once, fleeting touches followed by ones that stroked and lingered. Jillian thought Daniel had great hands. She loved his long, elegant fingers, the broad palms and each and every callous. Daniel thought his hands were too small and too soft but she disagreed with him rather vehemently so he stopped mentioning it.

"Close your eyes," he murmured and then licked a path from just below her left breast to her navel, sometimes with the broad flat of his tongue and sometimes with the tip, like an artist painting with a fine brush.

It tickled and aroused at the same time. Her skin rippled as he touched her again, fingers seeking, delving, gently awakening neglected nerves, invoking responses she had forgotten. She sank into pleasure. It was like sinking into warm water, rocked in swells of arousal. Her body bloomed open for him, pleading, because Daniel's mouth and tongue were eloquent even when he was silent. It went on forever. Daniel had infinite patience and even months with no practice had not dulled his skill; long warm swipes of his tongue, pulsing entries of the tip of it, delicate swirls, all accompanied by the talent and tenderness of his hands.

It was good. It was so good she should be climaxing, but she wasn't. She was drenched and dripping, breathing hard, and so turned on she was shaking.

Daniel broke off suddenly, rolling over and taking her with him. Jillian's eyes flew open, glazed and for a moment the light hurt. He was scooching backwards until he was sitting against the teakwood headboard, stunning in his masculinity, flushed and fully erect again.

He took her wrist and drew her towards him, urging her to straddle him. She gave him a slow sultry smile and complied. There was always something a little erotic for her when Daniel handled his own cock. So it made her shiver a little watching him grasp the base of it and hold it in position for her. She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him as she slid down with a long, aching moan.

Jillian moved her hips and rose up again almost immediately just so she could slide down again. "Oh god," she said, doing it again. Her head dropped so that her forehead was on his. "Oh god that's good."

Daniel tilted Jillian's chin up with his cheek and brushed his lips over her throat. "Slow down," he murmured, sounding amused and tolerant.

"No," she answered and pushed down, stayed down, circled her hips until he groaned. Daniel replied by pulling her into a smoldering kiss that was all tongue and jaw. Jillian ground down on him, then lifted again to ride him in long strokes. She dragged her mouth away from his and went still, holding herself up off his thighs by a few inches and gasped, "Daniel. Move. Push. God, Daniel."

She braced her hands on his shoulders and straightened her body and every thrust he made hit every sensitive place she'd ever known existed and then the world was dissolving in a white hot acid wash. She climaxed with her head thrown back, in an intense quaking series of convulsions that Daniel rode from beneath her, gripping her with his arms tight around her hips to keep them from jarring apart.

Jillian was whimpering and gasping, sobbing his name and oh god at the same time.

"Fuck," Daniel choked as he sat up straighter, breathed hard into her neck, pulling her in, driving into her. He pressed his face into the thundering pulse in her throat and bit down, sucked. Jillian writhed and sank her nails into his back. Daniel groaned. "Jillian."

It was a warning; he only said her name that way when he was close but he needed it harder than he thought she could take it. Jillian answered from the depths of her own wracking orgasm by tightening on him even more, trying to hold still, demanding it.

Daniel gasped as if he had been punched in the chest. His body clenched and shot hard into her, repeatedly, while he shuddered and pulsed and whispered her name in a benediction of adoration.

"My god," he rasped. He was kissing whatever he could reach – her neck, her shoulder, her jaw and her ear. Finally he found her mouth and finished with his tongue sliding over and under hers, with his hand fisted in her hair. Jillian was limp, hollowed out. The hot, wet, desperate kiss melted her even, and she made no protest when he eased them over sideways in a hopeless jumble of entwined limbs.

They took a long time coming down, too exhausted even to nuzzle, sprawled face to face. Jillian let out one long, shuddery sigh and then closed her eyes, draped over and under and around him. Daniel managed a single kiss and murmured a blurred endearment in French to which she could only respond with. "Mmmm."

They both dozed for a while. Not even the sound of the wind kicking up and then the soft patter of rain on the wooden jalousies disturbed them.

It wasn't until a small sound came from the room monitor on the dresser that they both stirred.

"That's JD," Daniel said, groggily.

"Yep," Jillian agreed.

Groaning, they untangled, wincing as skin pulled away from skin. Another plaintive sound came from the monitor. Daniel flopped over onto his back and covered his eyes with his arm for a moment.

"I'll go," he said.

"Are you sure?" Jillian hadn't moved from lying on her side. Her face was still mostly buried in the pillow, her voice muffled by it.

"Yeah," Daniel said, sitting up and stretching. He leaned over and kissed her. She met him halfway, turning her face to his. "Katie will be awake soon and she'll need you."

Jillian stretched and sat up as Daniel rolled out of bed. She pushed tousled hair off of her face and watched as he addressed the problem of his inside out jeans. He held them up and turned them a few times as if he had forgotten how they worked. Finally he got them straightened out and back on. He pulled the tank top back on and asked,

"Do you know where my glasses are?"

"On the kitchen counter," she answered, smiling fondly.

"Okay."

He started out the door but Jillian made him pause by saying, "Daniel?"

"Yes?"

"That green-eyed girl you fantasize about?"

A slow smile spread across his face, even though he was squinting to see her. "Yeah?"

Soft, husky and idolizing Jillian said, "She fantasizes about you too."

Daniel processed that for a moment and then answered, "That makes me happy."

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	333. Chapter 333

JD was sitting up in bed, holding Gray Bear by the foot and rubbing his eyes. Daniel came in quietly.

"Hey, Sonshine," he said, "Have a good nap?"

Instead of the sleepy reply Daniel was expecting, JD stood up, lifted his arms to be picked up and said with a sob in his voice, "Daddy I miss Grandpa."

JD always woke up a little cranky but this was different. He put his arms around Daniel's neck and melted against him as Daniel hugged him.

"I know," Daniel said, "But you'll see him soon."

"But I miss him _now_," JD said and it almost felt like he was crying a little; "and I miss Bala, and Aunt Sam and Uncle Jack and Uncle Cam and Uncle Teal'c and Uncle Scotty-"

He stopped with a tiny sniff. Daniel was patting his back gently while his heart got shredded into a million bleeding pieces. He leaned back to look into JD's teary eyes.

"And Auntie Annie?"

"Yeah," JD breathed it out on a shivery sigh. "Can we go home now?"

"Well," Daniel said, sitting on the bed and putting JD in his lap, "Mommy and I were planning to stay a few more weeks. But you like it here, right?" JD nodded. Daniel wiped away a hanging teardrop with his thumb. "So we'll stay a little while longer and then go back and see everyone."

"Aunt Sam went away," JD said, "You and Mommy were talking about it."

"Uh yeah, but she isn't gone yet. Maybe we can see her one more time before she leaves."

JD gave another shaky sigh and said, "Okay," and all the shredded pieces of Daniel's heart got smashed into even smaller broken bits.

"Well maybe she can come here to see us," Daniel said, and he knew the moment it came out of his mouth that Jillian was going to want to strangle him.

"Yeah?" JD said, hopefully, "and Uncle Jack and everyone?"

"Well maybe not everyone," Daniel said, "But we'll see. Do you want to go call her?"

"And Bala?"

"Yes we can try to call Vala," Daniel answered, wondering at the same time why JD seemed to be able to perfectly annunciate every other word he knew but not 'Vala.' He almost suspected that JD did it on purpose. He stood up, tossing JD in the air and getting rewarded with a small gasp followed by a giggle. "What do you want for dinner?"

"Pizza," JD said, as Daniel carried him out into the main room. "Can we call Grandpa?"

"Pizza," Daniel repeated. He thought about that for a moment but there actually was a really great family friendly pizza place on the island. Maybe Jillian would be up for going out to dinner. They could eat and then drive around the island and see the sunset. "Okay," he said, "First we'll try to call Aunt Sam; then Grandpa."

At that moment Jillian came out from the bedroom. It looked like she had showered again and she was now wearing a one piece swim suit with a skirt wrapped around it.

"Why are we calling Sam?" She asked, reaching out for JD, who had stretched out both arms the moment he saw her.

"JD misses her," Daniel explained and JD nodded his head with urgent enthusiasm, green eyes wide.

"And Grandpa," JD said.

"And Vala," Daniel said, looking at his wife with an expression of tolerant bewildered amusement.

Jillian just shook her head. Two years ago no one would have been able to convince her that Vala would be one of the special people in JD's life. Wonders, apparently, would never cease.

A tiny sqawling sound from the other bedroom interrupted anything else Jillian was going to say. She set JD back on his feet.

"That's Katie. She's going to want dinner. Have fun talking to Sam."

She started in the direction of her daughter's cry but Daniel said, "Speaking of dinner, JD and I kind of want pizza. So, Casa Roma? Then a drive around the island?"

"You're on a Caribbean island and you want pizza?"

"Yeah. We can only eat so much fish, Jill."

Jillian smiled, "Okay. Sounds like fun. Let's do that."

Daniel scooped JD up off the floor and got another shrieking series of giggles. "Do you hear that, Sonshine? It's _pizza_ for dinner!"

Relieved to hear JD laughing, Daniel carried him off in search of his cell phone.

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Jillian cast sidelong looks at Daniel as she cut up JD's pizza into smaller bites and picked off the black olives. He was holding Katie in his left arm, against his ribs, making faces at her while he ate a gigantic piece of pizza with his right hand. In return Katie was cooing and making cute faces and batting at him with her fists. Daniel laughed at her and it was music. It was a carillon of bells resounding with joy. It made her heart sing in response.

Ten years previous she had fallen in love with a young, scattered, driven man. Now she was married to a man who was older, wiser and oh-so-much-sexier. He caught her looking at him and did the shy head-duck, glance at her over the top of his glasses that was one of his more endearing habits.

"What?"

"Nothing," she said, reaching for a piece of pizza. "Nothing that I can say out in public anyway."

Daniel grinned a little and shifted so that he could balance his arm on his leg to rock Katie. He finished his pizza and effortlessly poured himself another Coke from the pitcher in the middle of the table and got another slice, all with one hand. Jillian retrieved JD's sippy cup from the floor and got him a clean one from the backpack hanging on her chair. Refilling it with fruit juice she asked,

"So how is Sam?"

"Swamped, trying to figure out what to take with her to Atlantis. She wants a new picture of us. She said she doesn't have any recent ones with Katie in them."

"I sent her some last month," Jillian protested.

"A month is an eternity when you're talking about a newborn," Daniel reminded her, "Look how much she's changed."

"We can take some tonight out on the beach," Jillian acquiesced.

Daniel hesitated for a moment and then said, "Listen, Sam doesn't have to leave for Atlantis for a few days. I thought maybe we could invite her to come stay with us before she goes. Both her and Jack; and Jett of course."

"Jett's already back in school."

"I think Jack would pull him out for a few days to go to the Caribbean with Sam."

Jillian pondered that and then said, "Sure. I'd love to have them come down. I've always wanted to have both teams and their families at the beach house. Scott, Annie, Cam, Vala-"

"And Grandpa?" JD spoke up quickly, because he was never unaware of what they were talking about. "Grandpa can come too, Mommy?"

Jillian looked startled, "Now?"

"Sure, why not?" Daniel said, instantly. "Let's invite everyone."

"Everyone?"

"Well not literally everyone, but you said both teams," Daniel was starting to talk faster, "and your dad-"

Jillian was looking at her with a bemused expression. "You want to dial the Gate and contact Jonas too?"

"We should. He was a big part of SG1. We should try to get him back in the program."

"We try every time we see him," Jillian reminded him. "He's pretty dedicated to rebuilding Langara at the moment, as messed up as it is."

Daniel shrugged, reached for more pizza. "Earth is still pretty fu-" He caught himself even as Jillian shot him a warning look. "Fouled up, and we still fought hard to save it."

Jillian didn't answer. She was busy getting JD back in his seat. "JD sit down," she said. "That's not safe."

"I want more pizza," JD said.

"Then ask for it," Jillian said, "Don't crawl across the table to get it."

JD sat down and looked up at her with huge eyes. "Can I have more pizza?" When Jillian hesitated he added, "Please?"

Once she got JD settled, Daniel asked, "So?"

"So?"

"Can we?"

"Can we what?"

Daniel smiled and rolled his eyes a little. "Can we ask literally every person we know to join us in the Caribbean for the next couple of weeks?"

"Weeks?"

"Well they probably won't all be able to come at once, but yeah. We'll take the last week or ten days for ourselves again but think how awesome it would be to have everyone here with us."

Jillian didn't answer right away, looking instead at the table without seeing it. Katie fussed a little and Daniel transferred her to his shoulder, absently patting her back.

"Well," he prompted.

He was relieved when she smiled at him. "Let's do it," she said, "We can call everyone after we get the kids to sleep. Jack's in our time zone but he hardly ever sleeps. Everyone else is two hours behind us."

"Yes!" Daniel said, disturbing Katie, who let out a wail that he instantly soothed, "Sorry, Kitten. Shhh, got back to sleep."

Jillian shook her head at him, indulgently.

"Is Grandpa coming?" JD asked.

Jillian got a wad of napkins and attempted to get pizza sauce off his hands and face while she said, "I have to call him, but yeah JD, I bet Grandpa will come."

"Yay!" JD said, trying to turn his head away from the attempt to clean him up, pushing Jillian's hands away.

"It's going to be great," Daniel assured her.

"When that crowd gets together?" Jillian asked, laughing, "Yeah, it usually is."

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	334. Chapter 334

They arrived en masse, either by the conventional means of flying to St. Thomas and then taking a ferry to St. John and renting a car, or by Asgard beam in the case of Sam and Jack and Jett. But they all got there within hours of each other, fluttering in like snowflakes until there was a virtual blizzard of them, whirling into the house and taking up all the space, laughing and hugging like they had not seen each other in years.

Sam and Jack and Jett were first, beaming onto the porch with suitcases and duffle bags and coming through the front door with no more warning than Jack yelling, "Daniel!"

He was answered by a shriek of joy from JD as he ran towards them crying, "Uncle Jack! Uncle Jack, Uncle Jack!" and "SAM!" as he leapt into Jack's embrace. He stayed there for a moment, hugging Jack before reaching for Sam with both arms and lunging towards her with such force Jack almost dropped him before Sam could catch him.

Daniel just rolled his eyes as he hugged all of them in greeting, lifting Jett off the ground and complaining about how tall Jett had gotten in the few months since they had seen him last. Quietly to Jack he asked, "You got an answer about what you want to do about bedrooms yet? We've got eight and the day bed in the study, plus the sofa bed in the downstairs rec room—"

"Hold off on that for now, okay?" Jack cut him off just as quietly.

"Okay," Daniel shrugged as he tried to extract JD from Sam.

Sam, Jack and Jett were followed a few hours later by Scott and Annie with Rusty and Diane and just their two youngest boys – Kevin and Ryan – since the oldest had just started college and couldn't come until the weekend. Mallory and Liz showed up in the next batch, with their granddaughters, Megan and Liza, and the energy in the place shot up 110%, fueled by an age range of 8 to 12.

Jillian's dad arrived next with Cameron, Vala, and Teal'c, having been lucky enough to catch the last ferry from St. Thomas for the day, and capping off JD's joy. The excited little boy didn't know whether to run to his grandpa or to Vala first, but he got in hugs for Teal'c and Cameron in the midst of his confusion.

The kids, of course, had immediately wanted to go in the pool.

"Yeah, that's fine," Daniel said, "You're all getting the two downstairs bedrooms so go figure out which one is girls and which one is boys. They're the same, two sets of bunk beds in both. So it doesn't matter. The beach is fine too as long as you stay where you can see the house. None of you go in the ocean without an adult. Is that clear?"

Four of the kids all nodded but Jett looked at Jack. "Dad," he said.

"Nope," Jack said, shaking his head, ending the discussion before it started. "Backing Daniel on this one, and don't bother looking at Sam."

Jett looked at her anyway, since he was already in the process of doing just that when he was warned against it. She gave him a little shrug and a sympathetic grin as she shook her head.

"Ocean," she said, emphatically, "Big, deep, sharks, barracuda. Nope. Wait for the adults."

"Vala and I will come out in a little bit, Jett," Cameron said, "This Kansas boy can't get enough of the ocean if there's one around."

Jett made a face of pure frustration but gave up quickly enough, "Thanks, Cam," he said, and then took off down the stairs after the others.

"Wow," Daniel said, with a smug grin. "Questioning authority. I wonder where he got that?"

"Shut up, Daniel," Jack said.

Scotty had wandered out onto the deck and let out a slow whistle. "This is amazing. Oh my god, Jillian. Is that your sailboat?"

Jillian went out onto the deck with him. "Yep. That's the North Wind. I thought you might like it. Want to take it out?"

"More than I want my next meal," Scott said, sincerely, gazing in rapt awe at the graceful sloop riding a gentle wind-blown surf against the dock.

"Good," Jillian answered, "We're going to take it out on a trip to St. Thomas to get in supplies for all of you tomorrow. There's a motorboat too, but Dad will probably take that and whoever wants to go along with him."

"Oh, that would be fantastic. Do you mean it?"

"Sure," Daniel said, as he joined them. "Jillian would never tease you about something as cool as that sailboat. I'll go along but I'm sure you can handle that boat better than I can."

"Oh I can't wait," Scott said, on the verge of hyperventilating.

At that point everyone had come out onto the deck, gazing around in appreciation of the natural beauty and the way the house so effortlessly complimented it. The kids had all found the pool by that time and the tropical air was filled the scent of flowers and the sound of their laughter and splashing.

Annie went and leaned on the railing, gazing out at the ocean. Scott went to stand beside her, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"It's so beautiful here, Jillian," she said, with a dreamy sigh. "I didn't think anything could be as lovely as Maui but this is incredible. No wonder you wanted to honeymoon here."

"My family was very lucky to own the home and the land before the island became a National Park," Jillian said, "It's kept out the developers. I remember coming here as a child. Remember, Dad? When we would come with Mom? And sometimes Uncle Randal and Aunt Jen and Cheryl would join us, and Great-Uncle Remy and Great-Aunt Maggie would come with their kids and grandkids?"

Alexander North walked over to stand next to her while she was talking. He was holding his granddaughter as if he was never going to let her go, rocking her in his arms as she fell asleep to the sound of laughter and the ocean.

"I remember," he said, sounding wistful. "I haven't been in here in ages. I had forgotten how peaceful it is."

Jillian slipped her arm through his and hugged it. "We'll come more often now," she promised. "We'll make sure JD and Katie have happy memories of this house." Then she looked around at everyone, making sure she gave everyone a moment of eye contact so that they would know how sincere she was. "In fact, I want us all to start coming here more often. If you want to come and use it, just ask; and I want to make sure that this isn't the last time we all gather here. This place is for family and you are all my family now."

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They cooked fish and steaks and various fruits and vegetables on skewers on the outside grill, with tiki torches burning and the setting sun gradually changing the colors of the sky. Conversation was random, ranging from speculation about the name of the new 304 that was being built to cheesecake (a subject that apparently made Cameron wax poetic about one of his mama's recipes). They were starting on the tray of desserts when Jack suddenly asked for everyone's attention.

"I have an announcement," he said, putting his hands on both of his now brand-new knees. Because he was the General, everyone stopped talking and looked at him anxiously. "I just want to let everyone know that this morning before we beamed here, I put in my retirement papers." There were exclamations of surprise, approval and congratulations as Jack stood up, more smoothly than anyone of them had seen him in years. He walked over to where Samantha was standing by the railing. "It means," he went on, "that I can go to more of my son's hockey games, and I can go fishing and I'd really like to buy a sailboat. But it also means that I – that we – can do this."

Jack reached out slowly and put both hands on either side of her head, not touching but hovering close. He looked at her with a mixture of question and adoration. Sam's eyes got wide with a brief flicker of astonishment and then slid shut as Jack's hands touched, cradled and he leaned in. Jack's mouth touched hers, lips brushed. They breathed, brushed lips again, closed their eyes, and softly kissed.

Everyone fell silent, as if they were witnessing something sacred. Sam's lips parted. Jack held there, not pushing. Sam let out a breath she'd held for a decade and pressed forward to claim Jack's mouth, fill it. For a few seconds there was nothing but kiss - warm lips, wet tongue, hungry possessiveness, stunned relief, melting tenderness.

The silence ended abruptly. From somewhere off to the left they heard a sharp, victorious, "I knew it!" from Vala and an indulgent, affectionate rumble from Teal'c. Someone, probably Rusty, let out a long finger-whistle of appreciation.

From the right they heard "Well, hell, in that case," from Mitchell, and a shocked little shriek from Vala that ended in the soft smack of a kiss and faded into a hum of laughing surrender. Well, okay, Vala was a civilian and Cam's dream band had broken up again. So there really wasn't any reason for them to hide their feelings any longer.

They could hear Daniel laughing amid the scattered round of applause that erupted, and Jett groaning, "Da-ad!" as if he was going to die of embarrassment. The younger girls were giggling and Rusty's sons were groaning.

Jack leaned back to look into Sam's eyes. He was aware of the assorted couples around them breaking off to hug and kiss and then hold each other as they looked at Jack and Sam, as if their love and happiness had somehow spilled over onto everyone. It was all cute and sweet and as endearing as hell, but it was the last thing Jack cared about at the moment. He kept looking at Sam. Her expression broke into a brilliant smile, so wide and bright it filled Jack's field of vision and lit the dusky sky. Jack smiled too, slowly at first but then he couldn't stop it. His smile grew until it matched hers. Sam was struggling, stunned to be able to express this openly, trying hard to dial it down and failing pathetically. She was dazzled and it was beautiful. For Jack, being what dazzled Samantha Carter was the headiest feeling in the galaxy. Jack knew that he was probably the image of goofy, unbound adoration - his expression completely ungoverned, and for the first time in years, that was completely all right.

Jack stood back and held her at arm's length for a moment, giving her a meaningful look. He lifted her right hand and took the shining blue ring off her finger. As he transferred it to the ring finger of her left hand he said, "Marry me."

Her laughing answer was almost drowned out by the new burst of cheering. "Didn't we already have this conversation?" Sam said.

"Yeah, privately," Jack said, "But this is front of witnesses. So you can't back out."

"I'd never back out," Sam said, as she slipped her arms around his neck. She looked up at him with the calm, implacable, understated authority he knew she was going to be taking to Atlantis with her. "No more 'someday'. No more 'maybe next weekend,' 'maybe next week,' 'maybe next year.' No more delays, no more excuses, no more opportunity for the next thing to come along and mess this up, Jack. Promise me?"

"Promise," Jack said.

He put his arms around her and rested his cheek on the top of her head. His papers were still waiting for approval and Sam had a stint in Atlantis to complete. But there was no reason for them to deny his retirement and he could always join her there if need be. Jett would jump at the chance to live in another galaxy for a short time.

His friends – his family, as Jillian had so rightly named them all – were all hugging each other and grinning back at them. Jack remembered Sam telling him that she had given up the word impossible a long time ago. So now, Jack thought, maybe happily ever after wasn't going to be impossible after all.

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	335. Chapter 335

The guys talk. More fluff ahead, so be warned.

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When the fervor over the announcement died down and everyone was once again seated – this time Sam and Jack were sharing the chaise longue, spooned together with his arms around her and her hands clasped over his wrists. Vala was likewise draped over Cameron like an extra shadow, looking like a very contented cat; at least until JD climbed down from his grandfather's lap and up onto Cameron's chest and pushed her partially away. But when JD yawned and looked like he was about to fall asleep, Vala shrugged and started patting his back, bending her elbow and propping up her head with her hand.

"Umm," Scotty began, drawing everyone's attention. He paused to glance at Annie and when she nodded slightly he went on, "Since we're making announcements about the future, Annie and I have something to tell everyone." A hush came over them, even though everyone seemed to instantly know what they were about to say. But Scott seemed to choke up suddenly, unable to say another word and he looked helplessly at Annie who took pity on him and said, "We're having a baby."

There was a moment of stunned silence and then Liz Mallory said, "You're pregnant?!"

"Yeah," Scotty said, suddenly shy.

They burst into another round of congratulations and hugs and questions. When Annie told them she was due in March, Jack commented that it should become a tradition for them now to all have their firstborn children in March.

"It will be easier for me to remember as I get older," he explained.

"For me too," Daniel said. "But I'm already horrible with dates, so don't expect miracles."

They laughed and Scotty hugged Annie and looked proud and happy and still a little shy.

The commotion had disturbed JD, who had very nearly been asleep. Cam and Vala did what they could to get him settled again. Alexander stood up and went to get him.

"Here," he said, "I'll put him to bed."

"He's sleeping in our room, Dad," Jillian said. "We moved the twin bed in there so we could use all the bedrooms. Katie's in the crib."

"I'll be quiet," Alex answered. "Come on, JD. Want to go read in Grandpa's room for a little while?"

Rubbing his eyes and reaching up, JD yawned and said, "Yeah."

"I brought you a new Piper book," Alex told him.

There was a pause in the general conversation as everyone hugged JD goodnight.

"Make sure he brushes his teeth," Jillian said.

Alex shot her a bemused glance and asked, "Am I new at this?"

"No, Dad," she smiled. After JD had been carried off by his grandfather, she asked, "Who wants margaritas?"

There was a chorus of "I do!" from the women. Vala and Sam got up from their comfortable sprawls on Cam and Jack and they all went to the bar by the pool. The men milled around for a while, getting bottles of beer from the cooler and finally ended up sitting around one of the big round tables. Daniel and Cam brought chips and salsa, put them in the middle and then sat down, leaning back and stretching out.

"I could get used to this," Cameron said, crossing his feet at the ankles and taking a long drink from the bottle in his hand.

"Jillian said you could use it any time you wanted," Daniel reminded him. "Just check to make sure someone else doesn't want the same time. Her grandfather is pretty much in charge of it but just ask her and she'll find out." He paused, took a drink, and after he swallowed he said, only half-joking, "It makes a great honeymoon location."

Cameron – who was in the middle of taking another drink – coughed, sat up and coughed harder. Beside him, Scotty laughed and started thumping him between his shoulder blades with his fist.

"Okay," Cam choked, waving him off. "Crap, Lawrence, I'm not a tent peg. God damn, Jackson. Don't do that to me."

In return, Daniel and Scott grinned in a friendly but evil kind of way.

"So," Mal said, nodding in the direction of all the women gathered around the bar. They were leaning towards each other, laughing and talking in low voice. Jillian was pouring something thick and red from a blender into large round glasses. "What do you think they're talking about?"

The men all looked in the direction of the bar and contemplated it for a moment.

"Who knows," Cameron mused. "Men? Babies? Nuclear physics?"

"Brownie recipes," Daniel said. "Or maybe the latest hypothesis coming out of Spain about the sunken city they just found?"

"Ways to break into Fort Knox?" Cameron suggested.

"A new approach to cold fusion?" Jack said. "I mean, look who we're talking about. It's either the latest exercise fad or a new way to save the galaxy."

Daniel shook his head slowly. "Still not sure what we did to deserve them," he said.

Rusty and Mal raised their beer bottles and the rest followed suit in a silent salute to the incredible women in their lives.

"So who wants to tell me what I should expect in the next seven months, because the last two have been a little confusing?" Scotty asked, looking around hopefully.

"I can't help you there, brother," Cameron answered, shaking his head.

"Don't worry," Mal said. "She's just as confused as you are."

"Really?" Scott asked, hopefully. "Because one day she can't eat anything and everything smells 'too strong' and the next day she's craving something she's hated her whole life."

"Yep," Daniel nodded. "Sometimes she can't stand being touched and the next day she's all over you?"

"Uh-huh," Scotty nodded. "And who named it 'morning sickness'? Because there's been no telling when she's going to be sick."

"Some clueless man?" Cameron guessed.

"She's worried she doesn't look pregnant enough!" Scotty said, looking bewildered.

"Then tell her she does," Daniel told him. "Tell her all the time. Eventually she's going to worry about being fat and that's when you remind her that she isn't fat, she's pregnant and you're proud of her for it, for what she's doing."

"Whatever you do," Rusty said, "don't complain if she's not doing the things she used to do – housework, paperwork, whatever. Pregnant women are tired, all the time. I don't know how Diane did it, especially the third one, when she was taking care of the other two and most of the time I wasn't even on the same planet with her, much less around to help."

"That's true," Daniel said. "Jillian's got a thing about dirty dishes. She doesn't like them, doesn't want to see them sitting around. But when she was pregnant she'd walk from the couch to the breakfast bar, drop her dishes there and then walk back to the couch. I was like, what, it's about ten more feet to the dishwasher. When did it become hard? Then I would remember, you know, she's growing a human being, 24/7, and that's got to be exhausting. So even though I'm the one who always leaves dirty dishes lying around, I'd clean them up, because nothing I had to do was ever going to be as hard as what she was doing."

"Did any of your wives just become so scatter-brained you didn't know what to do?" Scott asked.

There was a lot of head-nodding and groaning as a response. Daniel said, "Oh, hell yeah. My brilliant, articulate, genius-IQ wife would forget what she was saying in the middle of a sentence. She'd be talking to me and then stop and just walk away! I found her cell phone in the freezer, her headphones in the mailbox…"

"She'd pack for the hospital a dozen times, because she'd keep thinking of things she forgot," Rusty said. "And you know what, if she does, just tell her that's fine and deal with the fact that you're going to be taking 300 pounds of luggage along with you when the time comes."

"Use the word beautiful a lot," Daniel advised, "and mean it, because she'll see right through you if you don't."

"Prepare for misunderstandings," Mal said, "and some of those can lead to some really horrible hormone driven fights. Try saying, 'Sure,' 'Yes,' and, 'I'll get that for you right now,' a lot. Liz would want peanut butter and mandarin oranges at 2am and I'd go get them for her. And you know what, it prepared me for being awake at 2am with a crying baby. So just go with it."

Jack spoke up finally. "You know, that's probably the best advice of all. Just go with it."

"Yeah," Daniel said, "because as confused as you are about your wife right now, just wait until you're being bossed around by someone that weighs less than 10 pounds and can't do anything but scream when he wants something. The most amazing day of my life was the day JD was crying and I asked him what was wrong and he actually said, 'my ear hurts'. It was like, oh my god, communication! Information I can work with! Appreciate the fact that you can actually ask, 'What do you want?' and get an answer, even if the answer confuses the hell out of you."

"You're in for the ride of your life, Lawrence," Mal said, and all the fathers nodded again in understanding. "So just go with the flow and learn to hang on."

Scotty contemplated that for a moment and then said, "Thanks."

"Anytime," Daniel answered.

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	336. Chapter 336

**More light fluff, because writing Jack and kids is almost irresistible.**

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The house was empty except for Jack, Sam, Jillian, Daniel, Katie and JD. Everyone else was off on one island jaunt or the other. Some were out in the sailboat because Scotty was head-over-heels in love with the thing. Some had gone for a drive around the island to check out Trunk Bay and spend the day on the beach, taking the older kids with them.

They were passing a lazy afternoon in the main room, with Sam stretched out on the couch, Jillian quietly rocking Katie on the glider and Daniel and Jack lying on the floor building Duplos with JD.

Jack had assembled a passable airplane and JD was flying it around the room.

"Build something else, Uncle Jack," he said, climbing over Daniel.

"Like what?" Jack asked.

JD plopped down in front of him and said, "Can you build a robot?"

"Oh I can build an amazing robot. What kind do you want?"

"A super robot," JD said, spreading his arms wide. "So big its head is up in the sky!"

"Well what does one look like?" Jack asked.

"Like the ones that were at the house last night," JD answered.

At that point Sam sat up and Jillian stopped rocking; because in their world there was a very real possibility that somehow robots had been at the beach house the night before.

"JD," Daniel said, very calmly, as if he was trying not to scare him, "how many robots were at the house last night?"

"Five," JD said, holding up three fingers.

"Five," Jack repeated, holding up all the fingers of his right hand.

"No, five," JD insisted, going to Jack and pushing down his thumb and little finger. He nodded with satisfaction at the resulting three fingers and said, "Five. Like that."

Jack looked past JD at Daniel and said, succinctly, "Gets his math skills from his father, I see."

"Shut up, Jack," Daniel said.

"Daniel," Jillian said, warningly, with a indicative look at her son. JD picked up nearly everything he heard—something he _did_ get from his father. He gave her an apologetic look in return and then distracted their son. "JD, when did the robots get here? Where was I?"

"You were sleeping," JD said. He put his fingers on his eyelids and pulled them down. "Like this. You and mommy. You were sleeping." He opened his eyes again looked expectantly at Daniel.

"We were sleeping?" Daniel repeated.

"Yes," JD nodded and then put his fingers on his eyes again, holding them closed. "Like this."

JD," Jack said, and then waited for him to take his fingers away and open his eyes, and though it hardly mattered – the beach house was often open to the cool night air in any number of ways – he asked, "How did they get in."

"They shrink down really, really tiny," JD said, emphasizing the words with his sweet, childish diction.

Jack held up his hand with his thumb and forefinger almost touching. "Like this?" he asked.

JD nodded excitedly, "Yes, like that! Then they grow up really big again!"

Daniel looked at Jack again but Jack had put his head down, biting his lip to keep from laughing. The odds of both Daniel and Jillian, as well as the other residents, sleeping through five robots roaming the beach house was pretty much nil.

"So what did the robots do?" Jack asked, when he was able to look up again.

"They came in the house and looked through the refrigerator. Then they flew around a little bit. Like this," JD held out his arms and ran around the room for a minute before jumping over Jack and sitting down.

"That doesn't sound so bad," Jack said. "Did they do anything else?"

"They tried to eat Katie!" JD said, urgently.

"Really?"

"Yes," he nodded for emphasis and then stood up and put his hand out, palm vertical, "but I said, 'No robots!' and they stopped."

Sam exchanged a look with Jillian, biting her lip as she tried not to laugh. Jillian was watching and listening with a kind of hopeless affection in her eyes.

"Can you build one for me that looks like them?" Jack asked.

"No,"JD said, speaking with grave certainty and shaking his head. "It would scare Katie."

Daniel covered a laugh with a cough.

"So they were big?" Jack asked.

"Some of them, two of them, like way up in the sky big; but the rest were little," JD cupped his hands together, "Like this little, small enough to fit in here."

"Did the little ones try to eat Katie?" Jack asked.

"No the big one did!" JD's eyes were wide as he said it. "But I said, 'No, robots,' so they didn't."

"Are you sure you can't build one that looks like they did?" Jack asked.

JD sighed heavily and then held up his hand in Katie's direction, "Don't look, Katie. Mommy, don't let Katie look. Okay?"

"I won't, honey," Jillian answered, trying not to grin. She shifted Katie around and threw a blanket over her, shrugging at Daniel, who was openly grinning. It wouldn't hurt to humor him and see if Katie was hungry all at the same time.

Moments later, with Jack's help and advice, JD had constructed a large robot that, according to him, could shoot lasers and walk through walls.

"JD," Daniel said, "could you have been dreaming, maybe?"

The little boy frowned, "I don't think so. Why would I want a robot to eat Katie?"

"But you didn't want the robot to eat, Katie," Jack reminded him. "You saved Katie from the robot."

"Does that mean I am like a superhero? Like Batman?"

Jack laughed, picked JD up with both hands on his waist and then rolled over, holding him up as if he was flying. "More like Superman!" he said.

JD laughed. "Daddy, I am Superman!"

"You sure are, Sonshine," Daniel said.

"Uncle Jack, can we go swimming?" JD asked, as Jack set him back on the floor.

"I don't see why not," Jack said. "But ask your dad first."

"Can I, Daddy?" JD asked, and then added belatedly, "Please?"

"I don't see why not, but you have to pick up the Duplos and put them away first."

He looked like he was going to refuse, getting a stubborn set to his jaw and a look in his eye that Jack found way too familiar.

"JD," Jillian said, "What will happen if Daddy and I put them away?"

His frown increased to serious unhappiness. "You'll put them way up in the closet," he said.

"That's right. So it's your choice. But I bet you can't pick up more than Uncle Jack," Daniel said.

"Oh it's _on,_" Jack said, scrambling to grab Duplos.

Less than five minutes later, with the Duplos all safely stored back in the bucket, Jack stood up – more smoothly than he had in years, thanks to two successful knee surgeries – scooping JD up off the floor as he did. He tossed him in the air just to listen to his delighted shriek and then set him on his feet. "Go get your bathing suit," he said and then he looked at Sam. "Go for a swim?"

"I'd love to," Sam answered, standing, smiling as she went to Jack and slipped an arm around his waist.

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	337. Chapter 337

**Written because I can't quite break everyone up yet and send them on their separate ways; and because Jillian needed to say goodbye to Teal'c and because I just really love the beach house.**

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The week was winding to an end. But Teal'c had already said that Thursday would be his last night, as he wanted to return to the Hak'tyl. Cassie had joined them by them and it seemed to Daniel that her tales of completing her warrior training and the news of the ground breaking for the new tretonin manufacturing plant had sparked something in Teal'c's eyes. Daniel thought he recognized it – the longing for someone, the feeling that he had been gone for too long from a place that felt more like home.

There had also been a flicker of concern when Cassie mentioned the continued problem of the Jaffa who had not so happily embraced the idea of freedom and their newly formed nation. Many were simply now filling up the power void left when their former masters had fallen. While none had bothered the Hak'tyl Teal'c understood that they were a problem that needed to be addressed.

Wednesday evening they had a bonfire on the beach after dinner. The group had fallen into a pattern of every man, (or couple or family unit) for himself for breakfast and lunch and snacks. But dinner was a shared event, planned in advance, with everyone pitching in to do something. After dinner was also a community event, although the kids all took off to do something else when they finally got tired of the pool.

That Wednesday, some of them built the bonfire, while others helped clean up dinner. Vala and Cameron entertained JD to keep him out from underfoot. (Well, actually JD latched onto Vala and Cameron got taken along for the ride.) Jillian gave them a basket full of plastic containers and lids, promising that it would keep JD engaged for a long time, especially if they hid stuff in them for him to find. She wasn't wrong. When Cameron got a blanket and made a blanket fort for them to play under, JD was even more delighted.

Liz Mallory couldn't get enough of Katie, so the baby was content for the moment; and Jack organized a beach volley ball game with Jett and the other kids while everyone else built the fire.

It was well underway when dusk fell and brought an end to the volleyball game. They had all gathered on the beach at that point. Everyone carried something, either the coolers of drinks or the plates of fruit and pastries and bags of snacks. Cameron carried JD, who was partially asleep with his head on Cam's shoulder. He perked up a little when he saw the fire but then he saw Daniel and reached out, opening and closing his hands in a rapid grabbing motion. Daniel handed off the bag he had brought down from the house to Scotty and took JD, patting his back as he settled down again and grinning at something Jack had just said.

They spread the food and drink out on picnic tables. Scotty and Annie got out their guitars. Rusty's sons had found the conga drums stored in the closet and hauled them down too. Before long they had formed their own little group, seated on the logs around the fire and experimenting with different songs.

The group milled around, getting comfortable, breaking into their smaller 'family' groups. Katie got passed from Liz to Diane and then to Sam and finally Cassie for a while until she started fussing for her mama. Daniel got a Coke and then sat down with his back against a log so that JD could doze against his chest. Jillian sat down in the sand beside him, snuggled close and nursed Katie under a blanket.

Jack found a spot seated on a log next to Sam (who was next to Cassie), with a beer and Diet Coke in one hand and a commandeered bag of chips in the other. He gave her the diet Coke and opened the beer and then hollered at Scotty,

"Are the four of you just going to mess around all night or are we actually going to hear some music?"

Scotty looked at him for a moment, blinked, grinned and then started playing the opening cords of Limbo Rock. The entire group groaned. Rusty and Mal threw wadded up napkins at him. Scotty broke off as he ducked.

"We all just sat down, you idiot," Rusty said.

"My back does not limbo anymore," Mal grumbled, shaking his head.

"When did it ever, dear?" Liz asked.

They laughed as Mal tilted his beer bottle towards her in a salute.

"Scotty," Jillian said, softly, with a nod towards Teal'c, who was settled cross legged in the sand between Jack and Cameron. "Do _Leavin' on a Jet Plane_."

Scotty strummed the opening cords, sang the first few lines by himself and then Annie joined him and by the time he got to the chorus everyone was singing along, on key or not; except Teal'c, who merely sat and looked pleased.

When the song ended, Scotty started _Fire and Rain_ without prompting and followed that up with _Take Me Home, Country Roads._ Just when things were too serious, Annie switched it up to _Great Balls of Fire_, because she knew Scott could rock that when he really got going. They took requests after that and it ranged from _Morning is Broken _to _Imagine_ to _Sitting on the Dock of the Bay._

By the time they finished _Sunshine on My Shoulders,_ Katie and JD were sound asleep. Jillian and Daniel rose in one unified motion and excused themselves to go put them down for the night.

As they walked up the beach through the soft sand, Daniel shifted JD to one arm so he could take Jillian's hand.

"Do you want me get him to try to use the bathroom?" Daniel asked.

"He's pretty exhausted. If you can wake him up, then yes. But don't worry about. Just put him in an overnight Pull-up and we'll call it good."

"Okay," Daniel said, because neither one of them was too worried about the whole potty training thing, figuring JD had followed Daniel into the bathroom often enough to know what it was for.

They went to the master bedroom and Daniel disappeared into the bathroom with his sleepy son, hoping he could at least get JD to brush his teeth. Jillian changed Katie, wrapped her in the salmon colored blanket that she seemed to prefer and laid her in the small crib. Katie yawned and closed her eyes and went straight to sleep.

"Daniel?" Jillian called.

"Yeah?"

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," Daniel asked, "We'll be done in a little bit."

"Okay. I'll wait outside."

She stepped out onto the deck and found Teal'c standing alone leaning on the railing by the pool.

"Teal'c," she said, walking over to him. She could still hear music and singing and laughter from the beach. The fire was bright against the star-strewn sky.

He inclined his head and gave her a welcoming smile. She took her cue from that and stepped so close they were almost touching, looking out at the sea and the beach and their friends.

"I'm glad you made it," she said, quietly. "I've wanted to bring you here. It's not like you really got to relax the last time; or enjoy it at all."

After a pause, Teal'c said, "It is very beautiful here, Jillian Jackson. I understand why you came."

As difficult as it was to remember coming here without Daniel, Jillian would forever be grateful for the time and effort Teal'c had given to get her to come back to the SGC.

"I wouldn't have gotten through that without you," she said, "I've probably told you that, and I know Daniel asked you to watch over me. But I want you to know, again, what your friendship with Daniel has meant to me."

Teal'c was silent for a long time, but when he finally spoke he looked at her as he did.

"It was not only for Daniel Jackson that I watched over you then. It was partially because he had asked me to; and it was also partially for myself because caring for you helped with my own grief. But I came to bring you back because I missed your presence at the SGC. It may have been time for you to return to the real world. But the truth is you were missed. We had lost both Daniel Jackson and you and this was intolerable."

It had always seemed to Jillian that the SGC was made almost entirely of unlikely friendships – beginning with Jack and Daniel, segueing into Daniel and Teal'c and trickling down, somehow, to her and Teal'c. Their friendships had somehow been born in extreme circumstances and found a way to thrive. Teal'c's words brought tears into her eyes and a catch in her throat that made replying impossible for a long time.

"This isn't goodbye," he assured her; "And even if it were, we should be glad. There have been too many times when the chance to say goodbye was never guaranteed. We are fortunate, even blessed, to have this opportunity to be together one more time."

"Let's make sure it isn't the last," Jillian managed to say. She took a long breath and let it out. "Next time you have to bring Ishta." Her bright tone faded when she admitted, "I wish I knew a painless way to say goodbye. I just need you to remember that even if we can't talk or see each other, you'll always be in my thoughts."

Teal'c put his hand over hers and squeezed gently. "As you will be in mine, Jillian Jackson; as all of you will be. Always."

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	338. Chapter 338

**A few more chapters and then I will end this section of Sunshine and Shadow. Then things have to get serious again, so it will probably wait until after the holidays.**

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Dusk was settling over on the island as Daniel read JD one more Piper book (Piper Saves the Day, JD's absolute favorite). Jillian rocked Katie in the chair by the open door, letting the tropical breeze drift gently past them.

"One more time, Daddy?" JD asked around a wide yawn, rubbing his eyes.

"Nope," Daniel answered affectionately. "Time for bed."

Daniel couldn't even fathom how JD was still awake. Jillian had suggested that it was probably the two-hour nap he'd had earlier that afternoon. But still, between the other kids and Jack and Cameron and Vala-and swimming, running, playing non-stop all afternoon and past dinner-JD really should have been a whole lot more willing to close his eyes.

After Daniel politely and firmly declined to read to him anymore, JD gave a token protest. But he was finally falling asleep when his father picked him up and snuggled down instantly when he was tucked in. Daniel paused, trying to make sure that he was truly asleep. He was pretty convinced but when he started to move away JD said,

"Daddy?"

"What, Sonshine?"

"Can we get a dog?"

Daniel was too startled to answer right away. He looked across the short distance separating him from Jillian, trying to gauge her reaction. Jillian's lips parted in surprise and she stared back helplessly.

A decade of facing down Goa'uld, Replicators, and Priors of the Ori had not prepared either of them for the questions their son could ask.

"Ummm," Daniel hedged, "let's talk about that with mommy and Katie in the morning, okay?

"Katie doesn't talk. She's a baby," JD murmured.

Daniel laughed softly and leaned over to kiss his forehead. "Well, we'll try to get her opinion anyway. Go to sleep, Sonshine."

He tucked the covers in around JD and then looked at Jillian again.

"She asleep?"

"Almost," she answered, rising. Carefully she handed Katie to Daniel, who put his daughter over his shoulder and patted her softly when she made a low mewling noise of displeasure. "Why don't you put her down for the night so I can go get a shower? I think Katie spit up on me at least a dozen times today."

"Sure," Daniel said softly, trying not to disturb the baby. "Then how about we go take a walk. Everyone is leaving the day after tomorrow. This is the last night we'll have babysitters. I'll ask Sam and Jack."

"If you think they won't mind."

"No, I'm sure they won't. We shouldn't be gone long anyway, and the kids are asleep."

For a moment they just stood and stared at each other. Little sparks leapt between them, fired the air, tempered only by the presence of their children. Jillian leaned over and kissed him lightly on the lips and he returned it, seized by the mad desire to pull her into his arms and kiss her more soundly.

Jillian blushed and glanced away. Daniel chuckled softly. He reached over and tucked a piece of auburn hair behind her ear. His eyes were unusually calm and bright.

"What do you say?" he asked.

"Sounds great," she answered.

(0)

Daniel found Jack and Sam downstairs in the rec room. Jack was stretched out on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. Sam was playing foos-hockey with Jett, loudly and with a lot of taunting and laughter, the two of them sounding more like siblings than anything else at the moment. Daniel dropped down on the couch beside Jack and leaned back with a sigh.

"Kids asleep?" Jack asked.

"Yes, both of them," Daniel answered. "Jill's getting a shower."

Sam gave a sudden loud groan and Jett let out a cheer over at the game table. Then they grinned at each other like idiots and Sam said, "Okay best four out of seven."

Jett answered, "You're on!"

Jack snorted and shook his head in exasperated affection. "That's gotta end eventually," he called to them.

"Eventually," Sam agreed, giving him a saucy smile.

Jack laughed again. Sam was good at getting him to do that – laugh. Daniel had noticed that recently. It sounded good and it felt good, knowing that there were enough pieces of Jack O'Neill put back together to once again summon laughter.

"You're not getting in on that action?" Daniel asked.

Jack waved a dismissive hand. "He wore me out before she came downstairs. She can take him for a while. She's better with him than I am most days anyway."

Daniel ducked his head and Jack almost winced, because the bastard only did that when he was about to say something to provoke someone; and in this case, that someone was going to be him.

"And yet you're sending her to another galaxy," Daniel said.

"Dammit, Daniel," Jack muttered.

"Aren't you?"

"No, I'm not," Jack answered.

"You're trying to tell me you weren't at those meetings?" Daniel asked accusingly.

"No," Jack returned, sounding grumpy and tired suddenly. "I was there. The problem was that there was nothing to argue about. She is the best choice at the moment – the compromise between military and civilian."

"How is Sam a compromise? She's as military as…as…as you are."

"She's also a scientist," Jack said, "and a genius."

"So is McKay."

Jack turned to give Daniel an incredulous look. "Are you suggesting we put Rodney McKay in charge of Atlantis?"

"Only if we want to lose half our allies," Daniel returned. "The guy's people skills can be…lacking."

"Then what are you saying? Exactly."

"That Atlantis needs a diplomat, not a scientist or a soldier."

"They had that and were never happy."

"Atlantis or the IOA?"

"The IOA."

"Can't argue that."

"No you can't."

They fell silent, though Jack was still brooding, hoping Daniel was done.

"I just don't know how you can let her go."

So, of course, Daniel wasn't done. Jack ground his teeth, glanced at Sam and Jett but found them still loudly engaged in foos-combat.

"I'm not letting her go, Daniel. She's a free agent, an adult. She could have declined this but didn't."

"You're going to miss her."

Jack lost his patience. Under his breath he snapped, "Yes, I am going to miss her." Not that anything changed as far as that was concerned. He missed her almost constantly. "Yes, I know how long we waited to be together. Yes, I plan to go see her; and yes, I will be taking Jett with me when I do. Christ, Daniel, you have some salt around here you could use to make all this hurt any more than it does?"

Daniel held his hands up. "Okay, sorry. Should have realized."

"Yeah, you should have," Jack said, irritated. He fell silent when Sam looked over at them, eyebrows raised.

Both men forced smiles and waved at her. It was obvious they were in the middle of one of their own special conversations. She shook her head at them and clearly decided not to wade into the middle of it, especially not in front of Jett. She went back to concentrating on the game.

Daniel stood up. "Look, what I really came down here for was to ask if you'd keep an eye on the kids so Jillian and I can go for a walk. They shouldn't wake up at all, either of them. You don't have to-"

Jack waved his hand dismissively. "Go. You got a monitor or something, or should we go upstairs?"

Daniel gestured to a box on the shelf. "It's right there. I can turn it on."

"Yeah, go. We'll be fine."

"Thanks, Jack." Daniel crossed the room, switched on the monitor and then started for the stairs. He paused and added, quietly. "I meant it when I said I was sorry. I know how hard it's going to be when she leaves."

"I know you did," Jack told him.

Daniel left, taking the stairs two at a time.

"What was that about?" Sam asked.

"We're watching the kids while he and Jillian take a walk."

"No, what is he apologizing for?"

"For being a general pain in the ass and sticking his nose in where it isn't wanted."

Sam laughed a little. "That's just Daniel being Daniel isn't it?" She threw her hands in the air and surrendered the game to Jett. "Okay, kiddo, let's call it a day at three games apiece."

"Yeah, fair," Jett said. He turned to Jack, "Can I go find the other kids?"

Jack looked at his son and wondered when Jett had gotten so tall. There was very little of the little boy who had lived on Edora left in the lanky, wild-haired pre-teen standing in front of him.

Jack jerked a thumb at the door. "Yep," he said.

"Thanks, Dad!"

As Jett ran out the door onto the lower deck, Sam dropped down on the couch beside Jack.

"So, what do we do now?" she asked.

Jack put an arm around her, pulling her close. He kept his voice light. "Well, we're babysitting."

"Right..."

"So in the time-honored tradition of babysitting, we're going to sit on the couch and make out."

"Make out?" She laughed, but they were already leaning together, being pulled like two magnets.

"Serious making out," Jack answered, lips brushing hers.

"Oh serious mak-" She was cut off when he sealed his mouth over hers and, yeah, he was right.

It was going to be very serious making out.

(0)


	339. Chapter 339

Daniel didn't see Jillian immediately when he returned to their room to look for her. When he did finally see her all the details came into sharp focus. She was out on the deck, sitting on the steps that led to the beach. She had her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around them, fingers linked.

The night sky was strewn with stars already and the moon was breaking free of a wispy cloud, lending its own light, accenting her fair skin and the cascade of dark fire that was her hair. It had grown even longer in the months they had been hiding out in their island retreat and it was loose now, tumbling down her back.

Daniel paused to kick off his shoes. He wanted a walk on the beach, in the cool, soft sand; so different from the hot dry sands of the desert. He walked out onto the deck, pulling the door closed behind him.

The sound alerted her. She sat up and he saw her wipe hastily at her cheeks with her fingertips. Daniel's heart skipped a little and he went to sit down beside her.

"Okay, I may be a guy, but I'm also your husband and I'm not completely dense. Why are you crying?"

She turned to look at him, eyes widening. Then she laughed self-consciously. "Because it's so beautiful here and we've been so happy and everyone was here with us and it feels like the last time that will ever happen. We're all leaving."

Daniel put his arm around her shoulders and drew her in close. She leaned into him softly, pliant, and finished wiping her tears on his shirt.

"Most of us are just going back to Colorado," he said, "and I know you love it there too. It's really just Sam and Teal'c who are leaving. Jack is just going back to DC."

She smiled at him. "And you're still not used to that, are you?"

He shrugged, tightened his hold on her for a moment. He didn't answer. He didn't have to. The people they both loved had become more than friends. Those people had gotten caught inside his soul and inside Jillian's too and they would stay there forever, no matter how far away they were.

"I know you'll miss Sam," he said instead. "I will too. But I'm excited for her, too. She deserves this. In the meantime, you and I have the Asgard database. Jack said they finally finished downloading it into the new mainframe on the base."

Jillian looked surprised. "He talked them into keeping it in Colorado and not the Pentagon?"

"It's safer in Colorado, really. Not everyone at the Pentagon knows about the Program." Daniel stood up and reached for her hand, using it to guide her up onto her feet. "Come on. Let's take a walk. I'm in one of the most beautiful places on earth with one of the most beautiful women on earth. I don't want to sit here and talk about things that are making us sad."

As she put her arm around his waist and leaned against him, Jillian smiled. "Most beautiful place on earth? Has the ocean finally won you away from deserts?"

"Oh now I wouldn't go that far," Daniel said, but he laughed, kissed her hair and draped an arm around her shoulders again. "There's still a whole lot of things out there in the ocean that can kill you."

"The desert has poisonous snakes!" Jillian shot back, incredulous.

"And there are sharks out there!" Daniel said, waving his free hand at the inky black expanse of Caribbean in front of them. "Barracuda, electric eels, moray, those spiny urchin things!"

Jillian laughed, slapped a hand against his chest and left it there, nuzzled her cheek against him and said, "Okay, stop. I get it. I'll have to settle for JD loving the ocean and you admitting it's beautiful."

They walked to the edge of the ocean and then along it for a short while, leaving the lights and noise of the house behind them. The ocean whispered softly on the sand. Jillian looked up at him, leaning on him, as close as she could get without making him carry her.

They shared a kiss, a brief touching of lips that almost caused them to overbalance because every point of contact between them was electric, even now; and though Daniel could still sense that she might start crying again any moment, things seemed right and perfect. They got their feet under them, clinging to each other. When they were upright, he tilted her chin up and looked into her shadowed eyes and spoke.

"The first time I realized that I had fallen in love with you was in my office. You were sitting on the floor, surrounded by books, with one in your lap. You looked up when I came in the door and smiled at me. It felt like you were waiting just for me, like you were welcoming me home. I got this ache in my chest, because I had thought that I would never feel that way again. You still make me feel that way, every time. You've been the unwavering calm in the face of every storm. I measure my life now in the days I've spent loving and being loved by you." He brought his face closer to hers. "I'm yours, Jillian. Tell me what you want. Tell me what you want our future to be and we'll do it."

Her answer was simple, given in the last breath she took before offering him her open mouth for a kiss. "You," she said. "I just want you."

(0)


	340. Chapter 340

**Some girl bonding. Sam references a CamVala adventure in Midnight and Dawn, since all of this is happening at the same time in all of my stories.**

**(0)**

When Daniel and Jillian returned from their walk – sauntering really, in no hurry, hand in hand, leaning into each other and looking more like lovesick teenagers than middle-aged parents – they found Annie, Vala and Sam having drinks out on the deck around the bar. They could hear their laughter drifting on the night air and see them outlined by the bright lights of the house behind them.

"Where's Jack?" Daniel asked, as they walked up onto the deck.

"He's with the other dads, putting the kids to bed," Sam answered. But she rolled her eyes and Vala snorted as she twirled the straw around in her glass.

"Ah," Daniel said, once again demonstrating his sharp grasp of any situation involving Jack and kids , "In other words there's a riot going on downstairs?"

"Pretty much," Vala said, cheerfully. "Usually when there's that much chaos, I'm in the middle of it. But you can't blame me this time."

"Actually all the guys are in there, except Mal and Liz. They went out to dinner," Sam informed them.

"There was a pillow fight just starting when we left to come up here," Annie supplied helpfully. "The General was leading the kids; or at least that's how it looked."

"Why am I not surprised?" Daniel sighed. "I'll go see if I can bring any order into the chaos."

Jillian smiled at him but the look on her face was skeptical. It was entirely possible that Daniel would wade into it with the intention of stopping it and then Jack would hit him with a pillow and all bets would be off. "I'll check on the kids," Jillian answered.

"Then come back and join us," Vala said, "Sam is telling us all about her plans to completely restructure Atlantis."

"I am _not,_" Sam said, punching Vala in the arm, "Well not completely restructuring it. But we do need some help finishing all the piña colada we made. So come back."

They were almost to the living room doors (which were wide open to let in the tropical breezes) when Sam called, "Daniel? Be careful? Jack throws a mean pillow."

Daniel tilted his head down and looked at Sam over the top of his glasses. It was clear from his expression that he was wondering exactly how Sam knew that. It was also clear that he already knew how she knew.

Shaking his head as if to clear the image of Jack and Sam in a serious pillow fight, Daniel turned away and guided Jillian back into the house. They could already hear the noise coming from their rec room. Daniel shared a rueful smile with her and then jogged down the steps hollering, "What is going on down here?"

Jillian went to their bedroom and found JD sleeping soundly on his back, one foot sticking out from under the sheet and his stuffed Piper dog abandoned on the floor. Jillian picked it up, tucked it and her son's foot back under the sheets and kissed his forehead, smoothing hair off his forehead as she did. She went to Katie's bassinet and fixed her blanket, touched her soft cheek for a moment and then slipped back out the door to join her friends on the deck.

Annie poured her a piña colada as she slipped onto one of their padded bar stools.

"So what's this about restructuring Atlantis?" Jillian asked.

"Oh for heavens' sakes," Sam said, "I don't intend to do any such thing, though I suppose a few things will change to the way I want them. That's just how change of command is."

"I'm not sure how you're going to tear yourself away from all the science to manage the place," Annie said. "I mean, really, Sam. Are you going to be able to get any work done at all surrounded by all that technology?"

Sam shrugged but grinned broadly. "I'll have free time. Sometimes. I think…."

"Well you know what I would do almost immediately," Jillian said, pointedly.

Sam looked across the bar at her, took a sip through her straw and answered, "Does it involve dumping McKay out an airlock into the ocean?"

"Nothing so drastic," Jillian hedged, "and besides, he might not drown."

"Come on, Jillian," Sam said, "He's not that bad anymore."

"He didn't seem so bad when I met him," Vala mused, watching Jillian carefully to gauge her reaction.

"Well when _I _met him," Jillian said, "He was being a chauvinist jerk to Sam while simultaneously dismissing Teal'c as already lost."

"What?" Vala asked, "How was Teal'c almost lost? That's awful."

"He was trapped in the Gate. He didn't get all the way through before it shut down. We got him out, but it was scary for a while." Sam paused and looked pointedly at Vala, "You really should read all the reports the way Cam has been asking you to."

Vala lifted a shoulder in a playful dismissal, "I'll get around to it. Reading is boring."

Jillian pretended to shudder. "Don't say that around Daniel."

"This all sounds awful," Annie said, wrinkling her nose and stirring her fruit juice. "Who was this guy who just wanted him to die?"

"Rodney McKay is one of the scientists assigned to Atlantis," Sam explained. "He very-"

"Conceited," Jillian supplied.

"Intelligent," Sam stressed, giving Jillian a look meant to quell. "His social skills can be-"

"Nonexistent, rude," Jillian said, not backing down, though she kept her tone light, not really wanting to argue with Sam.

"Rusty," Sam amended. She raised her voice to be heard over Jillian, who was still muttering unflattering adjectives, "and I know that a lot of people have a problem-"

"Not murdering the arrogant bastard-"

"Warming up to him," Sam went on, "But sending him to Atlantis-"

"Wasn't far enough away to send the misogynistic, self-centered -"

"He's not that bad, Jill."

"He admitted to having fantasies about you being naked!"

"Partially," Sam corrected. When Jillian just glared at her, she offered, "He said it was an injury induced hallucination."

"You've suffered those too," Jillian reminded her, "Was anyone naked in _your_ hallucinations?"

"Well no," Sam admitted.

"I don't know how you're going to keep for strangling him after a week."

"Oh come on, Jillian, from all the reports it seems Rodney's changed. How many lives has he saved since going to Atlantis?"

"When his own has been just as much at risk?" Jillian countered. "Even his own team leader told you that – he's really good under threat of impending death."

"Well we're all like that, aren't we?" Vala asked, looking worried.

"Rodney is a special case," Jillian said. "I'm sorry Sam. For me he'll always be the heartless bastard who was willing to casually write off Teal'c. His treatment of you just puts it over the top for me."

"He's going to have to tone it down if I'm his boss," Sam said.

"Toning it down isn't the same thing as not doing it at all. McKay's an arrogant jerk and I think he always will be."

Sam shook her head. "You've called your own husband an arrogant jerk," Sam pointed out.

"I've called him worse than that and not always in English," Jillian admitted. "But Daniel doesn't start out obnoxious. He gives everyone a chance. Daniel is cold sometimes but it's because he's a very private person. Rodney is a strutting peacock; an equal opportunity offender – even to people like you who deserve his respect; and I didn't see any indication that had changed the last time we were in Atlantis."

Vala shifted around in her swivel chair and faced Jillian. Her expression was pensive. "So you don't think people can ever really change?" She bit down on her lower lip as if the possible answer scared her.

Jillian took a breath before answering because her friendship with Vala was sometimes still tenuous. "I know what you're asking and why you're asking it. In the interest of honesty I'll tell you that I'm not sure you've really changed so much as adapted to your current situation in a positive way."

Vala's eyebrows knitted together and she frowned for a moment. "Is that a compliment?" She asked finally. "I am not sure I fully understand the nuances of this language sometimes."

"I suppose," Jillian answered, staying deliberately casual. "It's not an insult. It means I think you always had the ability to form friendships, to trust and be trustworthy. But you're still also a lot …. The same as you were when you first came through the Gate."

"Is that bad?" Vala asked.

"No," Sam said quickly. "You just saved three members of a lost SGC team and it was largely by being exactly who you are. Daniel asked for you to be part of the SGC and that's not something he'd do lightly. Cameron wants you as part of the team. Even if you haven't changed, maybe it doesn't matter. You've adapted, you've learned to trust and you've added to the total of who you are. Maybe that's all that matters."

"She's got a point, Vala," Jillian agreed.

Vala looked back and forth between them for a moment and then slipped off her chair to go hug Sam.

"I really am going to miss you so much," she said.

"I know. I'm going to miss everyone too. All of you."

"Well come back safe and sound and if Rodney McKay gives you any trouble, you just tell me. Okay?" Vala asked, without letting go.

Sam grinned a little. "Why? Do you have contacts in the Pegasus Galaxy that can help you hide a body?"

Vala shrugged. "You never know," she said, with a sly smile.

The girls laughed and Sam gave her one more squeeze. Then Sam's attention was caught by movement from the living room doors. Jack stepped out onto the deck first, followed by Daniel. Sam let go of Vala and drained the rest of her glass. She hopped off the bar stool and walked around to rinse the glass in the sink.

"If you'll all excuse me," she said, "I think I'll go spend some 'quality time' with someone."

They wished Sam good night as she walked over to Jack, slipped her arm around his waist and went back inside.

Daniel had stopped by the door, waiting to see if Jillian wanted to come in yet or not. After a moment of consideration, she decided she did. She tipped her glass into the sink and stood up.

"I'm going in," she said, giving Vala a hug first and then Annie. "I'm so glad we did this, all got together like this. We need to do it more."

"We will!" Vala said brightly, "Next we can have another one of those baby shower things, at your house."

Jillian laughed, told them both goodnight and then went back in the house with Daniel.

Vala and Annie washed the glasses and set them on the drainboard.

"So," Vala said, "Want to go find Scott and Mitchell and see what trouble we can get into?"

Annie grinned. "Let's do that," she said.

(0)


	341. Chapter 341

**A fluffy epilogue to their time in the Caribbean.**

**(0)**

At some point during the visit of all their friends and loved ones, Katie Jackson had learned to smile. It hadn't been difficult in a house that had suddenly been full of joy and laughter. She had learned to distinguish the faces of her parents from the sea of other faces and Daniel in particular made her grin and wave her arms while making little cooing noises.

Now that everyone had returned to Colorado Springs Katie seemed concerned and confused by the absence of noise and voices. But she still smiled the widest when looking at Daniel. He had seen a lot of amazing things in his life. But knowing that his daughter recognized him and that recognizing him made her happy was one of the most amazing.

They were sitting on the floor in the living room. JD was building a soft block tower with Jillian and Katie was kicking her feet against Daniel's hand. Daniel was pushing back gently, encouraging her in soft, lilting Spanish, chuckling at her animated gurgling and babbling. Their luggage was piled up at the door in preparation for their flight out in the morning. They wanted to get back to Colorado in time for to take JD and Katie Trick-or-Treating.

"The house is so quiet now," Jillian observed.

Daniel looked up. Even after all this time his eyes made Jillian inhale a little. They were stunning and –for all the languages Daniel spoke – always full of words. At the moment they were full of so much love and contentment it seemed to reach into infinity. There was a touch of humor too, as if he was laughing at her a little.

"Do you miss everyone?"

"Don't you?" She asked in return.

"Well, they all came in and invaded your most sacred space-"

"We invited them! It wasn't an invasion," Jillian interrupted, "But yes, I'm ready to go home. I do miss them, especially when they'll all be at their own houses and we can go visit them. I miss Colorado."

"Ah yes," Daniel teased, "Let's go back to Colorado Springs where the temperatures are about to plunge into the 50s instead of staying here where the days are a very reasonable 80 degrees or more."

"We were here at the height of hurricane season," Jillian pointed out.

"And it rained, what? Ten times?"

"We were lucky," Jillian answered. "But I miss my house, the house that's actually ours and not one that's owned by my family."

"You'll always love it here," Daniel said.

"And it will always be here," she answered. "But the holidays are coming."

"Jack wants to bring Jett for Halloween," Daniel told her.

"That will be fun," Jillian assured him.

JD stood up at that moment and then full body slammed his block tower.

"Whoa, slow down, tiger," Jillian laughed but JD has decided that soft blocks were much more fun to roll in than build towers with.

Daniel picked Katie up and scooted them both over to sit next to Jillian.

"Did you remember to leave Gray Bear out?" Daniel asked. "We'll never get him to sleep without it."

"Or on the plane," Jillian agreed, "It's on his bed."

Daniel leaned back against the sofa and balanced Katie on his raised legs. He put his arm around Jillian and she snuggled in, putting her head on his shoulder. JD stopped rolling in his blocks and toddled over to them on his sturdy little legs, feeling left out. He climbed on Jillian.

"Are you going to go fight more bad guys, Daddy?" JD asked.

"No," Daniel said, definitively, "No more bad guys."

Jillian looked at him, riding a wave of love and adoration. She didn't say anything for a while, content to listen to Daniel's conversation with JD. They were talking about rules for riding on the airplane – including no kicking the seat in front and inside voices.

"And just feet walking," JD said, seriously.

"Feet walking?" Daniel repeated.

"I think he means walking feet," Jillian supplied.

"Oh," Daniel said.

JD nodded enthusiastically. "No running," he said.

"That's right," Jillian said.

"So how about some dinner and a walk on the beach before bed?" Daniel suggested.

"Sounds lovely," Jillian said. "But we already cleaned out all the food."

"I didn't say we had to make it here," Daniel pointed out, "Let's go out to that seafood place you love, take a drive around the island one more time and then we'll take a walk on the beach in the sunset."

"That sounds perfect," Jillian smiled.

"And then we'll go home," Daniel said, leaning over to give her a light kiss on the lips.

"And that's even more perfect," she answered.

(0)


End file.
